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illegiblewords · 4 years ago

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Fic Writer Meme

Swiped this because it looked like fun!

Name

Fandoms

Most popular multichapter

Actual worst part of writing

How you choose your titles

Do you outline

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Callouts @ Me

Best writing traits

Spicy Tangential Opinion

Tagging: @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @parvus-pica, @peregrineroad, @spiral-seeker, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @maccaroni-eh, @entropytea, @prettyparadoxes, @ivalane, @kunstpause, @fogfens

Name: Illegible or Illegiblewords lately. I’ve switched it in the past a few times.

Fandoms: I’ve been in Final Fantasy XIV for the past couple of years now. Passively I might be in Pathologic fandom and Dragon Age fandom? Maybe others too on and off. I was in comic fandoms for a long time but honestly that spiraled into a hot mess of epic proportions so I’ve mostly peaced out of there. Still love stories, characters, and buddies from there though.

Most Popular Oneshot: Ironically it’s Ideation for Bladerunner 2049 haha. I did exactly one fic there right after seeing the movie and didn’t go back, but I thought it was very good and I had a specific story I wanted to tell. It’s one of my most popular fics, and given it’s gen too I’m actually kind of happy about that.

Most Popular Multichapter: The Immortal Wound for FFXIV fandom! I had only just started writing for the fandom, and the series leading up to this fic was my first time writing NPC shipping in FFXIV. I was seriously, SERIOUSLY nervous at first! I wrote the first fic, Posturing, as a personal challenge to do an ambiguous protagonist/NPC since I saw other people doing that and wanted to see if I could pull it off. Posted it at around 4 in the morning then deleted within a few minutes out of anxiety lol. A week went by before I read it again, realized I still liked it, and put it back up for good. That being well-received helped encourage me to keep trying, and by The Immortal Wound it was getting solid attention. The experience really meant a lot to me!

Actual Worst Part of Writing: Probably chapter maps within the outlining process for me. It’s needed for how I approach things, but shit is anxiety-inducing and stressful af lol. I basically plan each event out in high detail before actually writing the fic, so when the time comes for me to legit write I’m more or less following a plan I can trust. Making that plan is the tough part.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Often titles are the last things I figure out before starting the fic itself. I know I like punchy stuff if I can manage. Sometimes it’ll be one word, sometimes it’ll be a quote or song lyric, sometimes it’ll be a saying, sometimes it’ll be a phrase that feels fitting. I go fast and loose usually, and tbh I’ve tried to tell myself not to overthink it too hard. I do try title related works in ways that have some thematic link when I can.

Do You Outline: HahahahahaHAHAHAHAhaha yeah. Straight up my outlines are eldritch terrors for their detail, length, and complexity. I don’t mean that as a brag at all, seriously--I tend to get frozen a bit if I don’t have an outline by and large because it’s hard for me to keep track of what’s in my head and plan accordingly. Just end up with too many moving parts + revision and pacing get wonky otherwise.

Depending on the project I might have sections tied to setting, characters, magic systems, religions, etc. at the top. Fanfic this is less likely but does crop up sometimes.

To give an example of the first bullet of the first chapter of an ongoing fic:

Post-Shinryu, the Warrior of Light lingers in the Royal Menagerie alone at his own insistence to search for the Eye of Nidhogg. In the process he remembers the fight against Zenos and Shinryu. Note he was overcome by an almost feral rage at Zenos’ assumption that he was the target of anything resembling lust. Those attentions (“bite down upon my jugular”) belong to another, but note similarities of two pale-eyed, long-haired blondes. Seeing Shinryu, the Warrior had no idea whether Lahabrea survived within. The fusion was horrifying to see and as he fought he didn’t hold back because besides obvious dangers, he was also ready to mercy kill if needed. Also note Warrior wanted to intervene against Thordan for Lahabrea but wasn’t fast enough, questions a little privately how far he’d have gone against him. It might not have mattered even if he’d managed since he knows Lahabrea was going crazy and unable to listen. Locating and examining the Eye, he recognizes how drained it is. Certainly not enough to threaten him when dealing with post-battle exhaustion. So he reaches inside with his own aether, relentless in pushing aside every foreign element—Nidhogg, Thordan, the corrupted Rhalgr, the places Zenos caged them all under his own will. Zodiark’s tempering is what helps him ultimately find Lahabrea, who is barely alive. Zodiark’s tempering has preserved what it could but has a much more tenuous grip in consequence. When the Warrior finds him Lahabrea isn’t even aware, functionally unconscious. The tempering flares against him defensively and this time the Warrior focuses on it. This is all that has allowed Lahabrea to stay alive. He could force himself closer but there is no vessel. Besides, the process of separating a fragile soul so deficient in aether is too great a risk. So he keeps the Eye.

It’s not the only bullet of comparable size for that chapter. The overall piece has at least 40 total chapters, but probably more.

Ideas I Probably Won’t Get Around To, But Wouldn’t It Be Nice: Tbh probably some of the earlier WIPs I have that aren’t finished already. Not just FFXIV (Dead Language, With Good Intentions) but other fandoms. I could end up circling back in the future one day but who knows.

Callouts @ Me: “NO MORE WIPS HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE OVER 20″, “RELEARN HOW TO DO DRABBLES”, “GET UR PRESENTS DONE”, “REVIEW OTHERS MORE THE STAGE FRIGHT IS RIDICULOUS”.

Best Writing Traits: I try to write any character as the hero of their own story/with the capacity to be someone’s favorite. I do my research and prioritize telling a good story first and foremost. I can change my writing style according to need and am good at capturing the cadence and word choices of different characters.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: If no transaction has been made (esp. monetary), no one owes you shit online. Not reviews, not hits, not praise, not agreement, not content of any sort. It sucks to feel like you’re creating to a void. It sucks to be passionately in love with a rarepair when other ships are drowning in art and stories.

People still don’t owe you.

If you don’t like someone else’s content, create something exploring what you do like... or even why you don’t like that content. Tell a story. Create art. Make photosets and playlists and analyses. If it is not a literal crime (as opposed to portraying fictional crime), don’t discourage other creators no matter how awful you might find their stuff. Lend your own voice to an alternative as convincingly as you can. And if that doesn’t persuade others, you need to keep honing your own skills.

If you want more of something to exist, spread inspiration. Again this can be in storytelling, art, photosets, playlists, analysis, you name it. Give form to your passion. And if others disagree or don’t respond, keep working at it. This is a skill too, and it takes practice.

I’ve found it shows when work is created out of a sense of guilt, fear, or obligation. The quality is much lower and no one latches on to keep building in-turn. And IMO it is essential to build up rather than tearing down.

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ithilloktewrites · 3 years ago

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Unposted Fanfiction Masterlist

This is the Masterlist of my fanfic that is not posted, but I intend to write and post them all. I hope you enjoy what I have for fic ideas. I write many pairings, and am not afraid of rarepairs. I hope to inspire others to write for all the different eras of time that could be written for, as the well, jewel, and god tree can all be used to move Kagome or others into other worlds, at different eras of those worlds. I will update this list with any new ideas.

Feel free to ask about anything that might catch your eye, or make you a bit curious as to what exactly I’m thinking of with each fic, I’ll be happy to talk about it!

A Twisted Feudal Fairytale - Neji/Kagome

Eventual smut, Rated Explicit

When Naraku tries to send Kagome to another world, he never expected to get caught using the spell in their camp by a bunch of shinobi ready to pummel him into next week to defend her. Who knew that having time and space warped around you would allow you to world hop alongside time hopping?

Accidental Transportation - Kagome/?

Eventual smut, Rated Explicit

The second Hokage had made preparations for the event of the Uchiha’s rebellion after his brother had passed on. The walls he’d had built around the Uchiha compound contained a special seal that had been discovered to be efficient at transportation. All he did was set it to another world, one he’d visited accidentally with his brother when experimenting with a new jutsu. He’d set it to have two triggers. Poor Kagome is one of them.

Akatsuki: Blast To Another World’s Past - Akatsuki/Kagome Harem

Eventual mass amounts of smut. Rated Explicit

Apparently mixing two space-time jutsu had a very high chance of being tossed into another world. But he did not expect the link of the rings all the members wore to transport them with him. He’d seen that the pain and suffering of this world had turned to tranquility and peace. The question was, was it worth staying?

Aspect Of Four Souls: Sakimitama - Itachi/Kagome/Kisame

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit

Midoriko knew Kagome would need a balance for her large soul, or she’d never be able to destroy the abomination she’d made. So she summons two people that would balance her more than the one the Kami had tried to match her to. He was insufficient, and uninterested in her. These two, they would be best for her. They would make sure her Sakimitama was present and in place so she could destroy the Jewel, just as she would heal them as well.

Changing History - Young!Jiraiya/Kagome

The well reopens as Kagome knew it would. But when she materializes in the bottom and climbs out, she finds herself not even in her own world anymore. She finds the well sitting in the middle of a road, and a man with white har, red streaks falling from his eyes that towers over her. When she looks back at the well behind her, she finds nothing. It vanished into thin air. The man is eyeing her suspiciously. Where is she, and what's going on now?!

Connected Reflections - Kagome/?

Eventual smut. Rated Explicit

Naraku has gone completely silent. No one has seen hide nor hair of him for months. Then the barrier hiding his layer falls. Inside they find a huge bronze mirror. It’s big enough to walk through. Kagome accidentally activates it.

Dreams Of A New Reality - Itachi/Kagome Shisui/Sasuke

Eventual loads of smut Definitely Rated Explicit

The Shikon’s efforts to torture and break Kagome fail. She pulled two men out of the dreams she was having. Now she’s pulled a third. They speak at length on this issue, and easily decide to help her with her task in exchange for finding a way back. In the end, the Jewel tries to force them back, but the bond the well created around them is too strong. Many things have changed in their world with the addition of Kagome, and she didn;t know how many cans of worms she was opening by trying to save them. Including the population of Uchiha that would be living in Konoha. It seems as though a solution has been found for that though.

Dreamwalkers - Itachi/Kagome/Shisui

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit

With dreams of three boys and the fate of the clan they come from clear to her eye at night, Kagome is given a choice. Forsake her world, and save them, or live in a world where she doesn’t really belong anymore

Fugaku had been having dreams of a girl for the past three years. His position weighs heavily on him. He wishes that girl was real, and here to help him resolve the issues between the village and his clan. He didn’t want to stage a coup. But his clan has demanded such of him. He would give that girl anything to stop the extermination of his clan that he sees on the horizon.

Existing Within Each Other - Kakashi/Kagome

Eventual smut. Rated Explicit

Travelling can be a very dull thing to do, especially by foot. Kagome came back one day, reading a series called Naruto. It wasn’t long before she not only had all the books in the series, but all her friends reading it too.

Kakashi had been enthralled by this book that was rated for teenagers. His students started it. He’d even seen Jiraiya reading it! But his curiosity was piqued. This series ‘Inu Yasha’ was good. Only when he finished it, the main heroine, Kagome, materialized on his bed. What fresh Jutsu was this?!

Fighting Hatred - Obito/Kagome

Emotional Angst. Rated Mature

“It’s okay if you like someone else, Obito! I’m used to being left behind!” The painful, watery smile she gave him tore his heart out. Before he could respond, she looked at the ground as the tears streamed down her face. A sob escaped her. He blinked and the stool beside him was empty. The ends of black hair turning the corner like a cat was all he could see of her before she was gone. His chest ached, and suddenly, all he could think of was her. How had he been so blind?

From The Garden Of The Gods: Founders Of The Leaf - Kagome/?

*Please note that I have asked for permission from the original author of ‘From The Garden Of The Gods’ on ff.net, She has abandoned the Suna fic she was writing, and it was plainly stated in her fics as well.

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Kagome has been dropped into a world she doesn’t recognize, and it’s not long before she realizes that no one understands her. Coming across a village being built, and made of many different shinobi clans, Kagome doesn’t think she could make it on her own in the village.

Instead she tries to not bring attention to herself, well aware that they would most likely try to kill her or use her horribly. She decides to stay close to the village, but not become a part of it. Her anonymity is scattered to the wind when enemy shinobi attack her small home, hoping to weaken the in-progress village. She’s cornered by three very powerful shinobi, and only her barrier separates her from them.

My Daughter From Beyond The Well - Shisui/Kagome

Rating Unknown. Depends on it I decide for it to be fluffy or not

Marriage within the Uchiha clan meant loyalty to your partner, and while he was never disloyal, it did not mean that he did not have a lover before his marriage was arranged. His wife did as well. What made his so different was the well he had to use to get there. Now, nine years after he was forced to leave her, a small girl arrives in the well. She looks like a carbon copy of him, except for her hair and eyes. They are her mothers. His ex-lover. In her hands, a letter covered with tears, and the strong scent of medicine. Itachi is curious, as he should be. She was another sibling for him to care for. But Shisui, he was enthralled. He had no idea what she was scared of, but he desperately wanted to eliminate it for her. Sasuke wonders why she’s so sad all the time.

Growing Intertwined - Yamato/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

The Final Battle did not go as planned. No one expected the Jewel to throw Kagome into another world. Scared and surrounded by people holding weapons in her direction, Kagome throws a barrier up unconsciously. It’s not long before someone realizes that she’s not going to hurt them, but she was too busy crying, calling for Inu Yasha. The gentle, careful knock on her barrier has her looking up into calm, gentle black almond-shaped eyes. He was crouched in front of her, a sign that he didn’t want to hurt her.

“Nice barrier you got there.”

Hatake’s Saving Grace - Kakashi/Kagome

Rating undetermined. Not sure if just fluff is going into this fic.

Sakumo couldn’t thank her enough. Not when she’d saved his life, and given him grandchildren. Beautiful, blue-eyed grandchildren. And her food saved so many lives.

Hokage In The Well - Kagome/?

Rating Undecided. Not sure if this one will have a pairing. BroTP yes, but as far as shipping goes… no idea who to pair her with for this one.

Kagome had no idea what to think when five men appeared in the well, three of which were arguing with each other. The other two watched from the sidelines. She had no clue what a Hokage was, nor why one of them was not one while all the others were. What fresh hell is this?

Kagome Saves Tobirama - Tobirama/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Falling asleep in your dorm room with all the nekomata napping in your sweater resulted in waking up in a different world surrounded by shinobi who were being hunted by other shinobi, and you were the only chance at escape. Who knew?

Last Ditch Effort - Hashirama/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

While rooting out and eliminating traitors who wanted the war to continue raging, Hashirama feels a pull. Following it, he finds a girl in the bottom of a well in an abandoned village. She was fighting for her life, and losing. The stinger in her leg would make sure of it. He didn’t know how much the village he’d dreamed of building needed her until he decided to save her.

Like Her Namesake - Neji/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Irony could describe how he’d found her, and how her name had been marked on the underside of his upper arm forever, just as the bird chained to his can seal had been marked on hers.

“Kagome, Kagome.

The Bird in the cage.

When will you come out?

In the light of the dawn?

The crane and the turtle slipped.

Who will betray you now?”

Little Kagome - Obito/Kagome

Rating Undecided.

After being found abandoned as a baby, Kagome clings to Obito, and he brings her home when the orphanage turns her away. When Fugaku gives them permission to keep her, especially seeing the bond she has with Obito, he feels his priorities shifting to her. Luckily, she is a full trained priestess with lots of experience protecting herself.

Loving the Hate Away - Minato/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

When offers of training from each member of the Inu Taichi are rescinded shortly after being made, Kagome wonders if there is something wrong with her. But the really kind man from her dreams gives her a small pointer that uncovers the truth about the person she thought she loved, trusted with her life. When she sees the man in her dreams for the last time, she gives him the ability to summon her as thanks.

Making My Way To You - Kakashi/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Soulmate’s AU inspired by Kakshisninken’s Scribbles series, written with permission to borrow some themes.

Kagome never expected to have a Soulmate, much less one in a different world that paired everyone off automatically. And what’s Chakra?

Marriage Of Protection - Kakashi/Kagome

Smut. Rated Explicit

An illegal, unsanctioned summoning has the Hokage in deep water. He is finally forced to go after Danzo, the problems he’s caused greatly outweigh the benefits to him being the Shadow Kage. The girl he’s summoned now remains a giant target for the rest of the world, and that’s not fair to her. Thus he needs to marry her to someone strong enough to protect her from Danzo and the rest of the world. He cannot select anyone who would be forced to concede to clan politics, which made his selection pool very small. Luckily there is one man, last of his clan. He will do nicely.

Match Made In Hokage - Kakashi/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

When Tsunade informs Kakashi that he is to become the next Hokage until Naruto can take over, Kakashi is stunned. However neither Kagome or Kakashi knew why they or the council had to be present for such a decision.

“However, there is a weakness that must be eradicated. Hatake is both the last of his clan, and not married. This could be taken advantage of. We have selected the best candidate to fill this position. We require Hatake and Higurashi to wed, increasing political ties, and to produce heirs to continue the Hatake line. They will be wed before the mantle of Hokage will be passed. The Higurashi Matron has been contacted and has given both permission and support to this motion. Higurashi has expressed a lack of interest in any partner in the time she has been part of Konoha, and Hatake has expressed interest in her. Thus the motion will carry.”

Kagome stood frozen in both shock and anger at the council and Tsunade’s audacity. Kakashi was in deep shit.

Midoriko’s Gift - Shisui/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Shisui wasn’t given the chance to use the erasing jutsu. No, he was taken just after he fell. Waking up in a cave with a pretty girl asking if he was okay wasn’t a bad thing either. But how would he know? Both his eyes were pulled out, and he was blind.

Mission Unexpected - Kagome/?

Rated teen. No smut in this fic, no one to pair her with that isn’t Inu Yasha.

Minato had gone after his students after they’d been forced into and cornered in an abandoned well. He’d tried to get them out quickly, but hadn’t noticed the activated scroll tossed in on top of them until the ground fell out beneath them, and everything became a large, starry void. Surly this was a genjutsu. Why couldn’t they break it then? Amd who is this girl who jumped in on top of them and disappeared?

No Where To Go - Itachi/Kagome

Eventual Smut/ Rated Explicit.

Naraku tried to escape the Final Battle. He had defeated the Slayer and Monk, targeting them specifically. The jewel had told him they were her ancestors. Yet, he had still been forced to run. She had followed of course, nothing but death awaited her in that world anyways. She didn’t expect to out a corrupt politician when she’d only tried to protect him from Naraku, nor did she expect how high up he was. She also healed a boy accidentally, and found herself the focus of an entire village of Shinobi. The political position she found herself in for completing her task made her wish she had faded from existence in her world. But there is no way back now.

Perfect - Yamato/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit

Inu Yasha’s uncharacteristic behavior has Kagome worried. But he makes her take a vacation. He didn’t know the well had made a second direction, a world slip. After explaining everything to the ‘Hokage’ Kagome makes a deal with him. He sends two ANBU members to assist her in her task, hoping she’ll fall for one of them, and they for her. It would give her reason to stay in Konoha, and the village would be that much more powerful. Yamato and Kakashi never expected the roller coaster that all of them would be forced to ride.

Pop-Up Prophecy - Itachi/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Kagome is dropped right behind two people. An old man with spiky white hair in a low ponytail, who dwarfed the smaller black-haired smooth ponytail wearer.

“Ah there she is. Take care of her, Itachi. She is the key of salvation for your clan.”

“Of course Jiraiya-sama.”

Preventing Chaos - Izuna/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Izuna is stolen from Madara right before he was supposed to die. He woke up to a girl healin him in a place where he recognized nothing. There was a box talking to him, and are those dog-ears on that boy’s head?

Putting On A Show- Uchiha Style - Itachi/Kagome

Smut very early on, Arranged Marriage. Rated Explicit.

The whole Uchiha clan was moved after the ninetails attack not because they were not trusted, but because of a prophecy a man bearing blue eyes and other-worldly knowledge had given them after proving his abilities, and passing on. Of course any soothsayer would know when their progeny would follow them. The only difference is that now Fugaku had been notified of her arrival, and the Uchiha’s involvement in it. The Hokage asked them for a show, and now that Fugaku understood, he would get the show of his life in the only way his clan knew how to give one. Uchiha-style.

Recall: Shikon’s Return - Akatsuki/Kagome Harem

Smut from the very beginning. Rated Explicit.

She’d finally destroyed the jewel. She was spat into a world not her own. When she is come across by Tobi and Zetsu, they note her precarious position in this world and take advantage of it. She’s to become the Akatsuki’s healer for the main groups of shinobi partners, with benefits. (Nod to AwolAngel’s ‘Maid with Benefits’) Inadvertently, they all end up smitten or very fond of her, and she of them. So it’s a no-brainer when Kagome feels yoki coming from the well she’d arrived in, that they’d all follow her to help her destroy it. But the results of this are mind-blowing when they step into a clearing only Kagome recognizes after all of them are pulled through the well.

“You all know there’s supposed to be a large scar on my side, right?”

The unblemished skin on her side could only mean one thing.

Roof Of The Pillars - Hashirama/Tobirama/Kagome/Madara/Izuna

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

The adorable little girl in the bunny clothes had no idea that she would be the end of the feudal wars in another world, and the glue of an alliance through marriage to two sets of brothers from opposing clans.

But those big blue eyes held peace for all of them.

Saigo No Akuma - Minato/Kagome

Eventual Smut, Rated Explicit.

Kagome’s lost everything to the jewel. After being trained and then transported to another world, she finds herself protecting the village during the Nine-tails attack, which not only ends up saving the Uchiha, but also Minato and Kushina’s only son. Kushina’s last wish was that Kagome help Minato raise Naruto, since he was the Hokage, and that Minato take care of Kagome.

Shattered Again - The Jewel’s Existence - Madara/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

The jewel tried to bring another ally to Naraku, but the Goshinboku interferes and changes which point of Madara’s life he is taken from. The Jewel shatters itself again to keep from being destroyed. This ends up saving both him, and the group he has inadvertently become a part of. With Madara’s addition to the group, Inu Yasha notices how he only has eyes for Kagome. This is a good thing. She’ll be in good hands. He leaves her, and frees her from her promises. Madara is there to pick up the pieces, of both her heart and the jewel.

Shisui’s Resolve: Kagome’s Happiness - Shisui/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

After being betrayed and abandoned, Kagome is dropped into a different world, right in front of Shisui. When brought before the Hokage, Shisui makes an offer that will both save his clan, free them of the curse, and bring them into the village as they had originally been promised all those years ago at its founding, so long as she is willing to do so.

Stuck In His World - Kakashi/Kagome

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

After keeping Kagome and her remaining family from returning to her world through a portal, Kakashi brings them to the Hokage. Normally his paranoia pays off. Rarely does it end up getting him into trouble. This is one of those times.

Uchiha’s Heart Of Konoha - Madara/Kagome/Izuna

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

The well prevents disaster in the shinobi world. It takes Izuna from Madara right in front of him, and delivers him to Kagome to save him. When she goes to his world to tell his older brother, she figured she’d only gain some new friends, possibly help for the task in her world’s past. Not two very powerful, handsome, kind, doting men intent on wooing her, and making her happy in return for preventing their grief.

Uncorrupted - Obito/Kagome

Undecided Rating.

Black Zetsu knew there was a chance that Obito could be sucked into another world while practicing his kamui. Whether the real Obito disappeared or not, the Eye Of The Moon Plan would come to fruition.

Wishing For Backup - Kagome/?

Eventual Smut. Rated Explicit.

Waking up to a kunai held at your throat with a demand for answers by a voice you only recognize from an anime is more than a little jarring, especially when the person really is from that person really is from that anime. Kagome wants to strangle the Jewel now.

Wooing A Higurashi - Madara/Kagome

Envental Smut. Rated Explicit.

How dare she? She stole his Gunbai, yelled at him, and forced him into immobilization for an extended period of time! How dare she flash her teeth at him?!

I will update this list as more ideas are added, or if I post a fic. If I write one-shots, then those will simply be posted to the finished fic list. Of course not all the details are in these summaries. Feel free to ask if you have questions or concerns regarding my fics. I’ll try my best to clear up anything, or just gush. Please enjoy!

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patsdrabbles · 5 years ago

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Duet

Title: Duet Fandom: Dhani Harrison; Jakob Dylan Pairing: Dhani Harrison/Jakob Dylan Rating: Gen Word Count: 2054 Summary: “Anyway, you remember his cover of Must Be Santa?” “Oh my god.” In which Dhani is invited to do a Rolling Stone interview with a mystery person, allegedly an old friend he hasn't seen in a long time. And he is certain he won't get any sleep until he finds out just who that person is... A/N: A dear friend of mine wrote a gem of a Dylarrison Jr. fic called “They’ve Trapped Us Boys” which made me low-key start to ship this ship. They I had the idea for this fic and let’s just say, I ended up giving myself a whole lot of feels. ❤ Thank you @szappan and @savoy-brown-shoe for the kind support of this rarepair fic and lots of thanks to my amazing beta, @smittyjaws <3333 Anyway, this is 100% fluff, so please enjoy ❤

(links to AO3 and @ill-be-your-tennessee-lamb‘s fic are in the reblogs!)

It all began, as these things have a tendency to, with a harmless enough enquiry.

Dhani had received an invitation to do an interview with the Rolling Stone magazine sometime late in November. Now, that was nothing unusual in his books. He had done his fair share of interviews over the years, in part due to being his father’s son, in part due to long being a musician of his own right. Now, this invitation, though? It caught his attention far more than any usual invitation to an interview would have done. Because it required some navigation, some shuffling dates around in his calendar – and someone else’s. Just that Dhani didn’t know who that mysterious other person was, that was supposed to be interviewed together with him.

Dhani reread the letter a good couple dozen times.

It said that he was to be interviewed together with someone he already knew. Well, he thought. I do know quite a lot of people…

Furthermore, it was someone also from the music field. Kinda obvious. He scratched his head. Still doesn’t limit the amount of people it could be.

The letter also hinted that it was someone he had known for a long time - long was relative, wasn’t it? – and someone he likely hadn’t seen in a long time either, given what was known to the magazine and the public. It was supposed to be a fun sort of reunion.

That last part was what Dhani couldn’t get off his mind. Sure, he was thrilled and excited that they were – hopefully – trying to do something nice for him, but... Just whom was he to be reunited with?

He knew that it was supposed to be a surprise. He knew better than to get impatient about this matter. And yet.

So, a few days after the date for the interview was finally settled on, he found himself unable to sleep and opened his messenger app.

And created a group chat with all the people he could think of that the Rolling Stone might want him to meet.

Dhani: Hi :) Any of you doing a Rolling Stone interview with a mysterious other person sometime mid-December?

Kris: Wtf mate it’s like 2am

Dhani: 2am where you are, perhaps

Kris: That’s fair

Dhani yawned into his hand and replied immediately after Kris’s response.

Dhani: 4am where I am

James: Not the one you’re looking for, btw. Sorry, pal

Dan: Nope

James: Want me to make enquiries?

Dhani: Nah, they probably won’t like that. Thanks tho

Dhani: Seriously, though. None of you guys were invited to do a RS interview mid-December? With me?

Jakob: Go to sleep, Dhanster

Dhani: Don’t tell me what to do, Dylan

Rufus: lol

Lily: Seriously, could you guys be any more married? :’D

Jakob: You know that’s not possible

Dhani: GUYS. Did y’all just evade my question??

Jakob: You should stop fretting abt this Dhani, it’s gonna be fine

Dhani: *eye-rolling emoji*

Jakob: Srsly, go to sleep Dhani, it’s late af

Lily: Yeah, we should all head to bed now. Sleep well, kiddos

Rufus: night, my American friends

Kris: Nite

Dhani sighed and put his phone away. His friends seemingly weren’t involved in all of this. He should probably try to get some sleep instead.

Rolling onto his back, he pulled the covers up to his chest and squinted. There was still light coming from the other side of the bed. Dhani rolled onto his side and stretched so that he could reach farther across the body that was blocking his movement. Then, he swatted lightly at the phone emanating the light in question.

“Cat.”

“Hmpf.” Dhani pouted, but he only got a grin in reply.

“Who are you to judge?”

“Goddammit.”

But it was only a few seconds later that the light on the other side of the bed was turned off and Dhani found himself wrapped into a warm, tight embrace. He fell asleep within minutes, the mystery interview completely banished from his mind.

The day of the interview came sooner than anticipated. The usual whirl that seemed to catch everyone before the holidays didn’t spare Dhani either, and before he could say “oh, I should have fuckin’ known it”, he found himself seated in a nice room at the Rolling Stones’ headquarters, right next to none other than Jakob Dylan.

Very much embarrassed at how he had allowed Jakob to fool him, he just buried his head in his hands and groaned theatrically. Jakob only looked at him and snorted.

“I never told you I wasn’t the mystery person!”

“You told me you wouldn’t be doing any more interviews this year??”

Jakob scratched his chin. “Okay, that’s fair. But I said that before I was asked to do this with you.” He grinned and didn’t falter even a tiny bit under Dhani’s dark gaze. He shrugged: “It’s not my fault, is it? And I have a feeling that this is gonna be fun, Dhanster.”

“Oh my god, please don’t call me that in public,” Dhani just breathed out in a hushed voice. “Seriously, Jake.”

Jakob nodded. ��Alright. But in turn, you’re gonna try to relax now, okay?”

This was the moment that their interviewer chose to appear. He greeted them cheerfully and explained that Tony, who had done some interviews with each of them respectively over the years, wasn’t doing this interview because the whole editorial team had sent him on a much needed vacation.

“Guy doesn’t know when to take a break. He hadn’t taken a day off in three years,” Ryan explained to them. He sat down opposite of them and quickly looked through his note cards. When he looked back up, the cards in one hand, his phone ready to record in the other, he seemed to notice something that made him halt, however. Two shiny rings. He grinned.

“Huh, didn’t know you guys had gotten hitched.”

Dhani’s breath caught in his throat. Jakob noticed and placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

“Would you wanna talk more about your significant others today, or-“

“Maybe later.” Jakob gave him a smile and they began the interview, Ryan all too eager to hear whether the two of them were appropriately thrilled to have met again and be able to do this interview together. Dhani actually found himself relaxing after a while and had to suppress a laugh several times. Judging by the twinkle in Jakob’s eyes, he felt the same way about the interviewer’s excitement.

Sooner than anticipated, the interview was over and Ryan invited them to play a song together. This, too, had been hinted at in the enquiry letter they both had received last month, but Dhani hadn’t prioritized it as much as finding out who his interview partner was going to be. Now he wished he had.

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is always a favorite around this time of year?” Ryan suggested with a smirk. Dhani couldn’t suppress a snort and heard Jakob laughing next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jakob giving him a nod and turned around. Their hands brushed when he did and Jakob’s smile widened.

“You know that Christmas album my dad recorded?”

“How couldn’t I? You didn’t stop mentioning it that holiday season.”

“True.” Jakob grinned at the memory. And the holidays that year spent with his dad.

“Anyway, you remember his cover of Must Be Santa?”

“Oh my god.”

“Yes.”

Dhani gave him a searching glance, then gave in. He waved his hand at Jakob. “Gimme your phone, I need to listen to the song again to at least make an attempt to get it right.”

Jakob obeyed – all too happily, if he was being honest – and turned toward Ryan. “Can we get a couple of additional studio musicians to do this in, say, an hour?”

Ryan beamed like Jakob had just hung the moon. “Sure!” And, after showing them to one of the studios, off he was.

After Dhani was done listening to the song a couple of times, they started practicing with the studio guitars they had been provided with. It was fast-played chords and almost shouting the lyrics breathlessly into each other’s face as fast as they could from there on.

“This is insane,” Dhani said when they took a breather, but he was grinning, enjoying the silliness more than words could express.

“You know what kind of life you agreed to when-“

The door burst open and in came Ryan, a studio band they didn’t know, as well as two cameramen with their equipment.

It was a blast. That was the only way to put it. They made it through the song on their third or fourth take, but the second the cameras were off, Dhani collapsed into a fit of giggles and had to cling onto Jakob to steady himself.

“That was fun.”

His face was red and Jakob looked at him like he wanted to kiss him right then and there. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Dhani and pulled him up against his side. Dhani shuddered, but the smile didn’t leave his face.

“I should have hoped so.”

They thanked the studio band for the job well done as well as the fun that they had had, shook everyone’s hands and left to say goodbye to Ryan.

Jakob’s hand had long left Dhani’s shoulder and, after a tentative brush or two against his knuckles, was now firmly clasped in Dhani’s hand. They were smiling and their faces were still slightly red from singing the fast holiday song several times in a row when they left the room together.

It was their giddy and relaxed selves that ran into Ryan in the hallway. While they thanked him for the fun interview and jamming session, Ryan’s gaze wandered down to their joined hands and he smiled. Ah. He wouldn’t need to take Jakob up on his earlier offer to elaborate. He felt that he had gotten the right idea and wouldn’t ask – nor tell.

“You guys have a good evening, yeah?” He smiled at them and shook their respective free hand.

“Thanks, mate, you too,” Dhani smiled and looked at Jakob with a fond gaze. He gave a gentle tug on the other man’s hand and, after another smile and nod at Ryan, off they were.

Once they had put on their coats and were out of the building’s front door, he turned his head toward Jakob, only to find the other man already looking at him with a gentle smile on his lips.

“That was... a lot of fun, actually.”

Jakob grinned, just a tiny bit smugly. “You did choose your spouse wisely, after all.”

Dhani just gave him an amused look out of the corner of his eye. “You didn’t choose too badly, either, I’d say.”

It took them only two seconds before they were laughing once again. And just like that, despite the freezing evening temperature, Dhani was feeling all giddy and warm again. To think he had stressed so much about finding out who his interview partner would be until earlier today...

“C’mon.” A gentle tug on Dhani’s hand. “I think dad wouldn’t mind us dropping by. Wanna go?” Jakob grinned as Dhani just buried his face in the crook of his neck. And didn’t move away.

“Huh. Dhanster?” Jakob asked and lightly poked Dhani’s back with his gloved hand.

“Don’t wanna move right now. You’re comfy.” His words were barely audible, as his face was hidden in the fake fur of Jakob’s winter coat. His cold nose was pressed against Jakob’s throat though, and Jakob tried to shift away from it – but to no avail.

“Alright, then. Then I’ll carry you.”

“Nooo.”

“Don’t tell me you still have your so-called polka dot PTSD,” Jakob half-teased.

Dhani only groaned and Jakob laughed.

“We’ve been married for how many years now?”

Dhani finally pulled back from Jakob’s neck and made a face as though he was pondering the question seriously.

“Not long enough for me to get over the polka dots. Never long enough.”

Jakob snorted and shook his head. Taking hold of Dhani’s hand again, he squeezed it in encouragement.

“So- you coming?”

Dhani gave a plaintive sigh for the sake of drama (mostly) but smiled back at Jakob and, squeezing Jakob’s hand back, nodded.

“Always.”

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entamewitchlulu · 5 years ago

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Arc V Month Day 12: Favorite Ships

ohohohoho, did you mean my favorite day?? I love talking about ships, I love exploring possible character dynamics whether those are romantic, platonic, sexual, antagonistic, or whatever, and Arc V is FULL of great character dynamics as well as great potential ones that while they never interacted much or at all in canon, I still think would be really fun to play with

I could talk for hours about ships, and I have a LOT of faves within Arc V (arc v was actually the beginning of my multishipping tendencies, before this I was a strict single-ship-per-character type), but for the purposes of time and space I will talk only about my “starter pack” as I like to call it lol. Tho, if you would like to hear my thoughts on any other Arc V ship, please don’t hesitate to drop into my askbox! I love to talk about this >w<

Escapeshipping (Asuka/Osiris Red Girl)

One half of the ship may not even have an actual name, but that doesn’t stop me from being in love with this little rarepair. I’ve always liked the idea of bi Asuka, but before Arc V, there really wasn’t a female character I really enjoyed shipping her with. Arc V came to the rescue by giving her a gf (it also gave Crow a bf...Arc V said gay rights). Even though all we get of them is one flashback, it’s pretty clear that the two of them were close, close enough for the Osiris girl to confide in Asuka her treasonous thoughts and to want to save Asuka by bringing her along in her escape rather than simply escaping on her own. And it’s the Osiris girl’s sacrifice that drives Asuka to be as much of a rebel against Academia that she is. That’s the set up for a powerful tragic love story right there, and we only had half an episode -- that’s pretty epic imo.

Chaperoneshipping (Gongenzaka/Sawatari)

I named this rarepair, so it has a special place in my heart lol. I just think it’s probably one of the funniest, and yet sweetest ships I’ve got for Arc V. The two of them are pretty much diametric opposites -- Sawatari never stops moving or talking and is super full of himself, while Gongenzaka is based on standing completely still and has a pretty healthy understanding of himself and his limits. Every single interaction they had was gold, as the two of them have such different ideals and beliefs, but they play off of each other so well. They’re literally the tol gay + smol gay and I love them and their banter a lot -- plus, I legitimately think that the two of them are pretty good for each other. Gongenzaka can help ground Sawatari but also take care of him when his inevitable loss of confidence spirals back again, and Sawatari can put an exasperated smile on Gongenzaka’s face and help him loosen up here and there.

rest are under the cut so this doesn’t get TOO long lol

Darkrebelshipping (Shun/Yuto)

This is one I haven’t actually paid as much attention to lately, but I still do really enjoy it! It’s a little cliche, but I just find their relationship pretty interesting. It’s clear that they’re close friends who trust each other, but there’s also a lot of friction between them because they have such fundamentally different value systems. They both want the same things, but what they’re willing to do to achieve those things is very different, and seeing how that effects the two of them in different situations is very interesting to me. Plus, I just kind of love how they both look like they would go to Hot Topic together lol.

Moonblossomshipping (Ruri/Selena)

Am I using my own screenshot edit for these two? Yes, yes I am, because despite my deep and abiding love for this ship, they never officially got to interact while not possessed lol.

As the above mentioned lack of interaction notes, this ship is mostly in my head, but I think it has a lot of interesting potential as a dynamic. Ruri and Selena may be parts of the same person, but they have some unique differences that make their potential relationship intriguing. Selena is a very headstrong person who rarely thinks before she acts, acting on an innate sense of justice that may be skewed because she rarely takes the time to closely examine where that image of justice is coming from. She’s an angry and impulsive person determined to prove herself, and yet she’s also very disciplined in other places. Ruri, on the other hand, comes from a much softer world, and from what we’ve seen of her, she also has a strong sense of justice -- though her views on it come from a place of sympathy/empathy and a desire for compassion towards others, rather than Selena’s warrior-like take on making justice happen. That softness + Selena’s sharpness makes for a great contrast, and the fact that their two worlds are pretty much perfectly opposed in the struggle in canon also sets up for some great star-crossed lovers shit which I’m ALWAYS into.

And outside of that? They just are....so pretty. They have the best aesthetic together. I was shipping them somehow before Ruri was even revealed, I am here for the long haul.

Duskshipping (Dennis/Yuuri)

Here’s another ship that gave me less than half an episode of content and made me go absolutely wild over it. Yuuri and Dennis may have only interacted for a few moments and only twice overall, but there’s something about those moments that still captivates me. The whole concept of Yuuri being this terrifying force that people run to the side of the hall to avoid, even as a child, but then being met by a laid-back, cheerful greeting from Dennis, fascinates me. Dennis isn’t scared of Yuuri at all, in fact, he seems to find Yuuri amusing to some degree. He’s the only character in the entire show who hasn’t immediately viewed Yuuri as some terrifying monster. Part of that may be simply due to Dennis’s cheerful + semi suicidal personality, but I think there might be a little more to it than that, especially since Yuuri doesn’t seem at all annoyed at Dennis’s lack of respect. There’s this sense of relaxation to their interactions, as though they’re used to hanging out, as though they’re comfortable with each other. For people like the two of them -- Dennis, with his self-loathing covered up by a mask of cheer, and Yuuri, with his monstrous, malicious glee towards destruction, that unspoken comfort with anyone, much less people so different from each other, feels very important.

Stealthshipping (Sora/Tsukikage)

This one hit me like a frieght train all at once. For most of my favorite Arc V ships, I got the sense that I would like them early on into their character introductions. Basically from the moment I saw most of them, their first interaction or even their first introduction alone, I had the feeling I was going to love them as a ship. These two? I had no idea I was going to make THIS my favorite ship for the two of them...and honestly, my only romantic ship for either of them. And like, why would I have? Their first interaction is where Sora kills Tsukikage’s brother. Angsty, to be sure, but I barely thought they’d even meet again.

When they did, however, and how it all played out after that, I was smitten. Two soldiers who met on opposite sides of the conflict, who had every reason to hate each other, and every reason to destroy each other, who found themselves slowly, slowly putting that unease aside for the common goal ahead of them, until they became a team to be reckoned with. Sora apologizing for what he did to Tsukikage’s brother and even offering to atone any way Tsukikage wanted as long as he could save Yuzu and Yuya first, Tsukikage putting down his grudge “just for now,” slowly becoming the two of them coming to each other’s aid and fighting like a team? It was so powerful. I definitely need to create more content for the two of them.

Genesishipping (Ray/Zarc)

Let’s be honest, we all ship this one a little bit. They’re the penultimate tragic, antagonistic couple, even if they probably never actually met in the past. They’re perfectly opposed forces, creation and destruction, and Ray is more than willing to come back over and over again to fight Zarc, while Zarc builds pretty much his entire self around being able to defeat Ray again. Plus, considering all of the bonds between their counterparts? It’s obvious that in another life, these two would have been friends, or even lovers, which just makes their actual first meeting all the more tragic. They have a wealth of possibilities to explore, and it’s one of the most popular ships in the fandom for a reason.

Appleshipping (Rin/Yugo)

otherwise known as THE CUTEST OTP....I don’t know what to say about Apple that I or others haven’t said before. They are such a power couple. They’re so sweet and wholesome, but they’re also inherently kind of tragic. They grew up in a world that didn’t want them to survive, but they did. Yugo’s pure love for Rin, and Rin’s motherly nagging, probably out of fear that Yugo’s happy nature might end up with him getting hurt in this awful world they live in, hiding her own deep love for him back, is just such a sweet, beautiful combination. The way they constantly work together and constantly think of each other is just so sweet and lovely, and I love them a lot.

Lustershipping (Yuzu/Masumi)

The ORIGINAL Arc V gays, the one I shipped before I even started watching the damn show. Shallow bit out of the way first, but they’re a pink/blue ship, and their color schemes together are GORGEOUS, which is my weakness.

Past that, though, this is the first pair of significant f/f rivals we’ve gotten in YGO to my knowledge, and I’ve found lately that I’ve become something of a sucker for some brands of rival pairs. They’re antagonistic, but it drives them both to be better, and they shit-talk each other, which is great to see with an f/f rival pair, but they end up being super respectful and even grateful to each other for pushing them to get better and better. And if you don’t think Masumi’s got a crush on Yuzu at the very least, I don’t know what to tell you lol. She gave the girl a ROSE.

I’d love to play with their continuing relationship more with the pair of them as rivals who eventually become friends before they know it, and then perhaps something more :)

Pendulumshipping (Yuya/Reiji)

And here we are. You all knew it was coming if you’ve been here for longer than 10 minutes, lol. Yuya/Reiji was my fave from the beginning, and it only grew and grew and grew until it became my most important and favorite OTP of everything I’ve ever shipped.

I’ve told the story a million times, but I first began shipping them when Reiji imagined he was dueling Yuya while testing his pendulum cards. What kind of a person do you have to be to move someone as immovable as Reiji, who’s spent his entire life making himself strong and unaffected for the task ahead? What kind of person do you have to be to stick in Reiji’s mind like that? And for a while, it felt very one-sided to me, though I played around with the idea of Yuya eventually returning those feelings -- still, back then, I felt almost guilty about the ship because more than one person called it potentially abusive, and I could see where they were coming from -- canon at that point had shown them as antagonists towards each other after all. And then canon kept trucking along and showed me that it wasn’t just that at all -- a seed of trust was starting to blossom between the two of them. The moment that Yuya called out Reiji’s name by his first name out of concern to see him trapped with the Council, that’s when I realized they absolutely did both have some level of trust in and care for each other. And when Yuya shouted out his trust in Reiji despite Roget’s revelation about Reiji’s father, proving that he did trust Reiji and his judgement after all, and when their tag duel arrived, and Reiji decided he would throw in with Yuya all the way, that he would stand behind him and believe in him til the end and the two of them fought together, that was it. It’s place as my favorite OTP was sealed.

There’s just something so soft and gentle about them, despite their beginnings. They don’t have the same antagonistic air to them that most main ygo protag/rival pairs have to time. Despite their beginnings, they were always on the same side, and it was never about trying to one up the other, even at their last battle -- it was always about working together for a common goal, and making the other better. And I just really, really love that.

#arcvanniversary #long post #lulu talks #this was so much fun to talk about all my ships lol

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sawamura-daichis-thighs · 7 years ago

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get to know the author

I was tagged by @yaoyoroses :D thank you En!

Tag | @l1nkp1t, @astersandstuffs, @eccentrick-stardust, @amajikies, & @hajiiwa (if any of you would like to!)

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean? i wanted a Haikyuu!! themed username since i fell deep so here we are :3 in terms of my ao3 username, Miah_Kat, it’s a mashup of my nickname & a name for an old OC; i use some variation of it as a default whenever i make a new account somewhere bc i’m bad at thinking up usernames on the spot. ^^”

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos). what if i told you...? is at the top with 734 hits & 133 kudos (!!!!! holy crow) on tumblr, Cafuné is the most popular with 46 notes :”D

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it? it’s of megane Oikawa! ^^ i chose it because he’s one of my favorite characters & he looks damn good in glasses

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters? @l1nkp1t, @wallynorthbynorthwest, @ninja-spacenerd, & @littleop always leave me wonderful comments/tags that never fail to brighten my day!! ❤❤❤❤

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again? hmmm i can’t think of one off the top of my head but y’all should def check out my bookmarks & fic rec tag for some awesome works!!

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked? i’m subscribed to 46 users, 20 series, & 127 works. I’ve bookmarked 257.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most? i don’t stray far from canon-compliant stuff but i find myself writing a lot of getting together, first kisses, or domestic fluff kind of stuff. If I’m going to go full-AU though I lean towards fantasy.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page) i have 8 user subscribers, 17 unspecified subscriptions, & 111 bookmarks total ^^

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!) mmm well i think every writer has some general fears of being judged, regardless of what’s written. for me, maybe smut since i just don’t write it often (& i’ve only ever posted one fic that has it)

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc. writing in general?? lol idk i’d like to be more...dedicated, i guess? i can’t seem to finish anything without it taking months. i also have a hard time with details, so i’d like to find a good middle-ground with that. oh, and world-building when writing fantasy (it’s just so much work aslkdjfk)

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often? i write popular ships more often but i’m absolutely open to writing rarepairs! i know it can be disheartening to really love a ship but not be able to find much content for it, so i don’t mind getting rarepair requests. i like making people happy if i can :)

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)? 33 on ao3

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program? 18 WIPs in Google Docs & probably...10+ in my laptop files?

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head? oh, definitely write them down! i can keep them in my head for a little while but there’s a 95% chance of not remembering them after something distracts me lol

15. Have you ever co-authored a story? kind of? back in high-school my best friend & i used to write stories together. it was all for fun though, nothing that ever made it to a site. i think it would be fun to do a collab with someone though! :D

16. How did you discover AO3? i think a post from tumblr linked me to it & i’d seen a lot of people talking about it, so i gave it a shot.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3? HAH no way lmao 😂😂😂

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers? not really. i just think everyone who reads my stuff are wonderful, lovely people ^^

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write? i’ve read basically my whole life and fanfiction led me to writing. there wasn’t a specific story or author though; just the realization that i could also put my own twist on characters/fandoms i enjoyed. i also have an amazing best friend who supported my passion when it first began, so she’s definitely a huge part of why i continued to write.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author? read. a lot. write, even when you don’t want to or think it sucks. as with any kind of art, experience and practice is the only way you’ll get better. be open to constructive-criticism but don’t let the “rules” overwhelm or suffocate your passion. most importantly: write what you like! what you want to read! have fun with it!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go? oh jeez, it’s a mixture of both? i usually start with a scene in my head that makes me go “i wanna write that” but then i have to find a way to get to the scene? so i either wing it, if the idea was clear enough, or i scribble down an outline to get my base ideas down but leave wiggle room for inspiration during the writing process.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do? i’m sure i have, back when i first started; i likely commented back that if it wasn’t their preference, there was no need to read the fic or leave a rude comment behind.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..) a c t i o n, definitely. i also get kind of stuck on kisses? idk how much detail to put into them lol

24. What story(s) are you working on now? even tho i’m slow af about it i’m currently working on 2 actively:

a makoharu gift exchange fic!

a klance fic with which i’m taking my first steps into writing for VLD (i’m jumping on the bandwagon where they’re somehow physically stuck together (via alien handcuffs in mine) for a time & grow closer as a result)

i’m always sorta-kinda working on my various iwaoi fics; the nipple-piercing fic is near completion & i’ve recently remembered my single dads au that i hope to work more on soon ^^

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? pffftt all the time. the ideas are definitely more forthcoming than the Muse & motivation like to be.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? nope. i tried that for a while but it didn’t stick.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started? absolutely! although i sometimes have mixed feelings about it, concentrating in creative writing definitely helped me improve in many ways.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written? i don’t...really...have one? ^^” i guess i am particularly fond of with a hoarse voice, under the blankets just because i feel i managed to get the atmosphere & imagery i wanted

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written? anything from when i first began lol

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years? hopefully still improving & enjoying what i write (as well as finishing what i start aslkdjfk). i’m not aiming for publication or anything; i just want to write for fun.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing? getting the ideas!

32. What is the hardest thing about writing? to quote En: “e v e r y t h i n g”

33. Why do you write? it’s fun! i enjoy making the ideas i have in my head come to fruition on paper. i like experimenting with styles and imagery & characters. i enjoy the happy dance my heart does when i know i’ve described a scene or a character just right. i’ve made a lot of amazing friends through writing & i love knowing something i’ve created might bring a smile to someone. ❤

#yaoyoroses #writing #tag! kat's it #about me #*side-eyes myself at that writing advice question*#i should follow my own advice lol

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rakuraiwielder · 7 years ago

Note

I'm working on your ask, but here's some for you: I, A, M, S, P, O, T

Ask prompt here: x

thanks puffin!! this is gonna be long and nostalgic eyy

I - HasTumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I wouldn’t say “actively dislike” butthe toxicity of fandom on this website has sucked away most of my passion for Voltron lol. I used to really dig itthe first month or so after getting really into it when S2 aired. I still havean unfinished draft for a 7-parter rarepair fic //ey guess my fav duo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)// sitting in my folders. don’t think I’llbe touching it any time soon though. im rather burnt out from this fandom, evenif I do still enjoy watching all the new seasons thereafter.

another is StevenUniverse ah a. (but in its and my defence, I wasn’t really into it anywaysas compared to other fandoms. the songs are still good, but I haven’t beenkeeping up with the newer Steven bombs, one part because of motivation, andanother because the thought of going into the tags to reblog contentintimidates the heck out of me pffft)

A - Ships that youcurrently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone hasOTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

(puffin this question is gonnatake up half the ask oh god)oh bOY where do I start hahahaha. there’s so many aph and fe callbacks hahaha few otps aside I really have too manycrackpairs and platonic friendship ride-or-die squads I would die for. theseare only a few really relevant ones from the top of my head-

OTPS:

Norway/Vietnam (Hetalia) – alWAYS. i dont talk about and reblog much aph anymore but i still think about these two frequently. they were my first and closestthing ever to an actual otp in all my years of knowing what an otp was gosh Ihope to write about them again soon. their dynamics are the peak of mypreferences.

MU(avatar unit)/Silas (FE Fates) – thechildhood friends + loyal knight and liege trope + a pinch of memory loss wasnever really my thing, but guess there’s a first for everything ha h a ah a….silas is too pure for the angst I put him through im so sorry ಸ ل͜ ಸ

Berkut/Rinea (FE: SOV) – the second that one cutscene of these two played I got1000% more invested in the story pffft. anyways rinea may be top tier fav andberkut shit tier fav, and their story tragic as heck (and I would also arguethat he doesn’t deserve her), but their genuine and honest love for each otheramidst the incoming death flags gets me every time

707/MC (Mystic messenger) – honestly they can either be a really good platonicdynamic duo or a solid otp. purely from the perspective of my own MC, theycomplement each other well; perfect balance of light-hearted teasing and asolid wall of comfort for each other.

Ray-Saeran/MC (Mystic messenger) – ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

(Other) Ships:

Seychelles/Iceland/HK (Hetalia) – they are good togetherromantically or platonically hahahaha. a good golden trio of kids

Russia/Vietnam (Hetalia) – their potential relationship and clashof character due to conflicting personalities fascinate me. a totally differentnoir vibe from norviet and one I hope to explore if I ever come back to aph

Nyx/Leo (FE Fates) – nyx ships are reallyrare but half of them are surprisingly sweet and poignant. Odin and Laslow tooare really sweet candidates to woo this jaded grandma’s heart.

MU/Laslow (FE Fates) – got to thank a wacky7-11 employee au dream I had for this one. but in the games their supportconversations are surprisingly thoughtful and low-key flirting which was notwhat I expected at all. wholesome.

Ham/Kai (MUxMU, FE) – remember when I said protag/protagships are the good stuff? yea h thatprincess tutu au is coming along swell

Alm/Celica (FE: SOV) – the rare main canon couple I love whodon’t die and get their happy ending (LOL this sounds really pathetic now thatI’ve said it)

Leon/Valbar (FE: SOV) – no one is surprised LOL. romantic orno, as long as leon is happy with where he stands with valbar and valbar ishappy with where he is im happy for them both

Conrad/Rinea (FE: SOV) – I know there are a couple of youreading this whos gonna give me that look but liste n; they could have met, and there is potential for them.(honestly this is just like another norviet situation where I put my 2 topfaves together for crackpair experimentation bUT IT WORKS I ASSURE YOU)

Zen/MC (Mystic messenger) – zen is so earnest that I can’t refute himhahaha. he also has a special seat in my mysme heart, since he was the firstroute I played and made me create content for the fandom proper

707/Jaehee (Mystic messenger) – they are rapidly gaining OTP status ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª aaaa nightmare flashbacks because justlike norviet they really are the rarest of crackpairs and have almost to no content(gonna get down to business and churn fic out one day). these two are moresimilar than they’d think too.

Cecil/Haruka (Utapri) – ahahaha a good ship from a guiltypleasure fandom

(Purely) Platonic:

Izuku/Iida/Ochako (BNHA) – the first golden trio of thisseries. I love them so much.

Vanderwood/MC (Mystic messenger) – they parallel each other. truly thebiggest ride-or-die duo I will support to the end of time

Zen/Yoosung (Mystic messenger) – zen is such a mother hen to yoosungwwwww truly wholesome

Chise/Ruth (Ancient Magus Bride) – platonic master/familiar-partner relationships where both of them care for each other so much to the point where they would die for the other are my one weakness. its the reason i love writing more fleshed-out pokemon aus and loyal dogs/animals in longer fics. anyways these two are good

M - Name acharacter that you’d like to have for a friend.

707. It would be a trip justknowing him. (apart from the memes. but my life is already 80% meme, honestlywhats the difference ahahaha aaa-) Just, I feel like it would be really fun tohang out with him and revel in his wackiness (even if that personality is afront, maybe one day when i finally get into his inner-circle of friends, I hopeto be privy and be a good listening ear to his truer, more sombre personality.)

On the other hand, myself-confidence and 2nd hand embarrassment will be directlyproportional to each other (And im 100% sure Seven is the kind of person whowill exploit that hAH)

S - Show us anexample of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Every relevant character inMysmes is either a type of asexual (greysexual etc.), or on various points ofthe bi-spectrum. Yeah; even self-proclaimed, “straight-laced” Zen lol.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (wealways need more ideas)

Vampire/Selkie AU ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

a selkie whose skin gets stolen and hidden from a human man is forced to become his bride and taken back to his village. there, to escape the stares of bigoted villagers and the clutches of her overbearing and possessive husband, she takes refuge in the only place he would not go; the old holy church.

only, she finds she isn’t the first to occupy this place of solitude. the master of the church notices her soon enough, and when vampire recognises the ancient weave of magic that flows within her, he appears; intrigued for something other than a fresh meal.

(basically a deviation from the standard vampire (romance-ish) novels lolol plot bunny hit me pre-Christmas eve dinner/yesterday and sofar im digging it. still planning the ship and fandom though; it might very easily be OC-based)

O - Choose a songat random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

since 1 is never enough, hereare 4 songs I was listening to recently:

Little Knights, Nem feat.Noire : Zen/MC(a zen-ish song through and through)

over and over, Yanagi Nagi : Saeran Choi + 707&MC(more saeran-centric with interpretative lyrics and referencing to both ray andunknown personas)

Finding something to do, HelloGoodbye : 707/Jaehee(fits their “don’t go where I can’t follow” dynamic haha ow.)

Life will Change, Shoji Meguro + Benjamin Franklin feat. Lyn Inaizumi : Kai(mui) or Ham(let)(honestly the entire persona 5 ost is massive fe fates protag feels)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons thatyou will die defending?

Not really. I’m a very flexible person when it comes tointerpretable lore and content, especially if it’s the type of HCs that thefandom collectively comes up with. Unless it’s a canon fact, I like to dabble orjust stay away from HCs in general. If I have to come up with some in my fics,then so be it. But most of the time these HCs are either super vague or onlyapply to the context in this particular piece or series of writing. Basically Idon’t mind switching HCs for charas frequently as long as it does notfundamentally change their own character. (HCs for hobbies and loves and habitsand relationships apart from their inner circle, etc. are all fine)

Honestly it just boils down to expectations lol I know myown limits, and I know not to be disappointed when canon updates end updebunking (popular) fandom HCs or my own.

#answer and recall #thanks #puffin you never fail to be one no.1 hypeman every time ahahaha

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schrodinger-s-kitten · 7 years ago

Text

APH rarepair week 2017 day 5: mythology/AU Day!

Pairing: Scotland/Prussia

Rating: T

Warnings: blood, a few swear words, bad family relationships, Prussia might be a little OOC

I couldn’t resist throwing in some magic, haha I love fantasy

I friggin love this ship though, the only reason it’s not my OTP is because EngIta took that place

Enjoy!

Bad Days Make Good Things Happen

~=o-o=~

The forest was dark. The dense treetops blocked the moonlight and the few stars in the cloudy night.

Allistor should have come home earlier.

The forest's non-magical creatures weren't too dangerous, and he could defend himself well if a creature such as a wolf or an owl did attack him, despite his broken staff. But the magical creatures were something else. He did not want to meet with any faeries. Those tiny things were as dangerous as a bloody dragon at night. And they didn't like humans.

Every step was careful, the minimum of sound too loud. Every shake of a branch or leaf put Allistor in alert. Every shadow that not his own was a potential enemy. Hell, even his own shadow could be an enemy. Every sound had him searching for the source. He wasn't even using a light for fear of attracting something.

“Wow, you really hate the night, don't you?”

Allistor stopped, looking all around for the source of the voice. Nothing. This creature either hid in the trees, or was invisible.

“I mean, look at how you stopped now! I doubt you'd have if it was day.”

It wasn't a spirit. Its voice was too solid.

“W...where are you?” Uttered Allistor. He hated his tone.

“Oh my elven spirits. I'm not gonna hurt you, don't be so fuckin' afraid.” It sounded offended. “Here, I'm at your right.”

Allistor whipped around, and there it was. Clothed in brown, barefoot and with a bow and arrows strapped to his back. An elf. Arms crossed, an offended expression and a prideful stance.

Oh, no. An elf was the last thing Allistor wanted to encounter in the middle of the forest. At night. With a broken staff. He took a discrete deep breath, and hid the fear from his expression. He hoped he could hide it from his body language.

“What did you decide to taunt me for?” He asked. The elf shrugged.

“I thought I should have some fun, since my community kicked me out,” was the relaxed answer. The elf leaned on a tree, crossing his ankles. He grinned. “You up for a game'a hide 'n seek?”

“I'd prefer to continue my way home,” replied Allistor. He gulped when the elf's grin faded. The elf pushed himself off the tree, smiling again.

“Aw, then I'll go with you 'til the edge of the forest.” He stepped over to Allistor and offered a hand. “This is how you humans present yourselves to each other, right? I'm Gilbert.”

The mage gave Gilbert a distrustful look, but shook his hand.

“Allistor Kirkland.”

No strange feelings, no spells hidden in the hand, nothing. Maybe Gilbert was being honest.

They walked. Allistor was wary, and kept on the watch for any antics Gilbert might try. One could never be too careful with an elf.

“So where the fuck is your house that you had to go through the forest?” Asked Gilbert after some time, his eyebrows scrunched together.

“On the other side of the forest,” answered Allistor, deadpan. “There's a road, but going through the forest is shorter and the danger doesn't change a lot.”

“Ah.” Gilbert raised his eyebrows in understanding. “And what had you so busy you took until midnight to complete?”

Sigh. Allistor wanted to be home and sleep after the long day, not talk to a bloody elf while trudging through the forest.

“Your staff is broken.”

“You don't bloody say!?” Snapped Allistor. Taken aback, Gilbert raised his hands beside his head.

“Okay, sorry! I just wanted to talk!”

Silence reigned for a while. When Allistor's anger cooled down, he realised what a huge mistake he had made. Since Gilbert hadn't left his side, he must be a friendly elf, because any other elf would have ripped Allistor's arm off, or at least a finger.

“I was on the city back there,” said Allistor, pointing over his shoulder. The city wasn't visible through the trees anymore, but that was its general direction. “I sell potions and make staffs and wands. Some rich lady wanted her staff perfect, so it took some time.”

“Oh, so now you decide to talk,” scoffed Gilbert, arms crossed and an eyebrow arched. “All right. What kinda potions do you make?”

“Any,” shrugged Allistor, voice tired. “Most people order one or two for some specific thing.”

“Oh geez, you sound tired.” Gilbert clapped once. “C'mon, ask me a question, it's my turn to talk.”

The mage knitted his brow, but obliged.

“Where did you use to live.” His question was more of a statement, as he didn't bother with the intonation.

“Down a river 'bout that direction.” He pointed. “It's a pretty big community. As I told you, though, they kicked me out.”

“Why would they.”

“Shed some light on my face.” Allistor refused. He wasn't risking it. “I'm an elf. If something comes, I'll fight it off.”

It was a good argument. Hesitant, Allistor concentrated energy on his hand and generated light. He raised it to Gilbert's head, and let out an ‘oh’.

Gilbert was an albino. Elves demonised light hair or skin. Red eyes as well. If it wasn't for Gilbert's pointy ears and manner of clothing, Allistor would've thought he wasn't an elf.

“Only reason they kept me was because my mother insisted I grew among them. As soon as I became an adult, they kicked me out.” His voice was a little strained. He shrugged with a bitter smile. “Guess I’ll live wherever and nowhere now.”

An outcast.

They weren't so different, then.

“Well, there's the edge of the forest.” Gilbert stopped walking. “I guess we part ways here.” He smiled and waved as he turned back and walked away.

Allistor didn't respond.

~=o=~

Knocking.

“I'll be right there!” Called Allistor. He rushed from his workshop to the kitchen-lounge, and opened the door. His eyes widened. “Dylan?!”

His older brother grinned.

“Hello, wee brother.” Dylan pushed past Allistor and sat on the sofa. “I need a favour.”

“Then I expect something in return,” responded Allistor, voice cold, closing the door.

“Tsk, tsk...” Dylan shook his head. “Arthur did always tell you not to expect too much from the world.” He looked at Allistor. “Seems you didn't like that advice.”

Allistor sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Well, if you don't do me something in return, I won't do anything at all for you.” He strolled to his material shelves, taking a pot of unicorn mane hair.

“And how d'you know there ain't a mage better than you for the favour?” Growled Dylan.

“Because you came to my house.” Allistor took one hair from the pot and closed it. Besides, if Dylan gave up on asking for the favour because of a price, it'd be a win-win situation.

“Fine.” Dylan stood. “What do you want for the favour?”

Allistor smirked.

“Ahh, now we're talking.” He took his broken staff. “It depends on my side of the trade. What do you want?”

Dylan walked to the shelves and took a herb jar, showing it to Allistor.

“This herb. I need around four times what's in the jar.” Allistor arched an eyebrow.

“So that's why you came here.” Allistor put down the now fixed staff. “For that, I'll want about three pounds of wool from your sheep.”

“What?!” Dylan spread his arms. “That's an absurd!”

“Well, I'm lacking fabric for clothes,” shrugged Allistor. “And that way, I won't need more for a long time.” He looked at Dylan. “Of course, we could always call the trade off.”

Pause.

“You're insufferable,” fumed Dylan. “I'll come back in ten days with the wool. If you don't have the herbs, trade's off.”

“Of course, same way around,” agreed Allistor. “Farewell, brother!” He waved as Dylan walked out and slammed the door. He smiled, satisfied.

~=o=~

Allistor lied down and let a drop of a potion fall on each of his eyes. He blinked repeatedly to let it spread and ease the pain, and stood. He took his staff, and walked out the door.

The cave with the herb he was looking for was around a hundred metres north-east into the forest. It was the only cave in the region containing the herb, and would be fine to visit if it weren't for the gasses it released which blinded a human on long exposure.

On the entrance, blue and purple plants announced it was a venomous environment. Those plants stuck to poisonous ones and used the poison to grow. Further in, the herb Allistor wanted grew in abundance. He collected enough to fill the sack he'd brought with him and turned back.

As he walked back to the entrance, he spotted a brown patch under a non-poisonous bush. Leather. It was ripped, showing wounds on very pale skin. Allistor pulled the bush back to reveal Gilbert, beaten, bloodied, and hanging onto a last thread of consciousness.

“Gilbert!” Allistor crouched down and slid his arms under the elf, who groaned in pain. “Stay with me, it's all right.” Allistor lifted him from the bush, careful not to let him hit the wall. “Who...?”

“Elves,” moaned Gilbert. His struggle to stay conscious was clear.

“Let yourself be unconscious, Gilbert,” said Allistor, voice as clear as he could make it. “I'll take you to my house and take care of you.”

With a weak nod, Gilbert fainted.

Allistor walked as fast as he could back to his house. Running would exhaust him too fast and created the danger of tripping. He set Gilbert on his bed and rushed to the kitchen to find good medicinal herbs. Coming back to his room with the herbs, water, bandages and a towel, he took most of Gilbert's clothing off, and cleaned the wounds. He used the herb and water to create a paste, which he rubbed on the wounds to avoid infection. It was a good thing Gilbert was asleep through it, because they could sting.

A few hours after Allistor had bandaged the wounds, Gilbert woke up. A crash and a pained yell came from the bedroom, and Allistor rushed into it to find Gilbert on the floor curled up.

“Gilbert?”

Gilbert curled up tighter. Realising he was likely intimidating him with his height, Allistor crouched and laid a gentle hand on Gilbert's shoulder.

“I’m Allistor, Gilbert. Remember me? From a few days ago, in the forest?”

After a few seconds, Gilbert's posture relaxed a little. He turned over and looked at Allistor. Allistor made the gentlest expression he could with his bulky figure and thick eyebrows that were always low. Gilbert's whole body relaxed, including his breathing.

“Let's get you back on the bed,” offered Allistor. As Gilbert nodded, he lifted Gilbert onto the bed and guided his limbs to a natural position. “With proper treatment, your wounds should heal in around seven days,” he informed. “Do you want water?” Gilbert nodded. “I'll go get some for you.” Allistor walked to the well outside.

~=o=~

Gilbert's recovery was quicker than Allistor expected; likely due to elves healing faster, as Gilbert himself suggested. Well, neither Gilbert nor Allistor were complaining. Gilbert, to pay Allistor back for taking care of him, began helping keep the house clean and make the potions.

“I'll leave as soon as I've paid you back,” he stated one afternoon. “You wouldn't want an albino elf in your house.”

At the moment, Allistor didn't respond, only nodding in acknowledging. Later that night, though, he noticed he would miss having company. The next morning, he confronted Gilbert about it.

“You don't need'a leave,” he offered. Gilbert looked over from the pot he'd been cleaning. “It ain't good to live alone in the woods. Besides, I'd miss your company,” he admitted, a little bashful.

Allistor had never seen Gilbert so happy. He thanked Allistor more than once, and promised to help him with any duty he wanted. Allistor rolled his eyes and said ‘of course’.

A day later, Dylan appeared in the front door, with the three pounds of wool he'd promised. Allistor let him into the house, and examined the wool. It had no spells or potions. Allistor nodded in approval, and took the sack of herb from the kitchen. Dylan inspected it, and seeing it only had a spell to keep the herb fresh, stood.

“It's been a good trade, wee brother.” He grinned.

“Of course.”

As Dylan walked to the front door, Gilbert waltzed into the lounge-kitchen.

“Allie, the batch of instant ice potions is rea- oh you have a visitor shit I'm sorry.”

Dylan whipped around to stare at Gilbert, an albino elf, in Kirkland-made clothing, who’d called Allistor by a nickname, and talked like he lived in Allistor's house.

“Who is that?” Dylan punctuated the syllables with danger. Gilbert stepped back in the direction of the bedroom.

“He's Gilbert.” Allistor's voice was nonchalant as he threw an unworried glance at Dylan. “Lives here, helps with the job.”

Silence. Dylan's narrowed eyes cooled the room. Gilbert was ready to hide, and Allistor raised an eyebrow in a casual stance.

“Every time I come here,” scoffed Dylan, “you're a bigger disappointment to the family.” He turned and left.

Sighing, Allistor closed the door.

“Rude.” He turned back to Gilbert. “Come on, let's pack the potions.”

“What about your visitor?” Gilbert rushed to help him.

“What, my brother? He's an asshole,” shrugged Allistor. “My family already hates me anyway, and it's not like you're going to affect my job.”

Stillness. Then, Gilbert grinned.

“All right!”

Their lives were better from then on.

#post #hetalia #aph #aphrarepairweek2017 #pruscot #scotpru

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frozensnares · 7 years ago

Text

Hello.

I recently listened to an excellent podcast called HumanizeMe, and it left me with a lot of thoughts and feelings about my involvement with different communities, particularly my interaction with this one. So I’m going to be spilling a lot of those out below. It may not make much sense, but I will try to edit and keep things organized.

And an apology for not listening to the advice given in that podcast and have someone review this before posting it. I just need to clear my head.

I find myself in a really odd relationship with this community and my involvement in it. The whole story behind it is long and complicated, and I am my own person with lots of thoughts and opinions about everything, which only further complicates things.

Generally speaking, I try to keep my presence kind and welcoming. The shipping communities are the harder ones because there are stronger emotions attached there, and I understand this because I am also a part of it. I tend to stick with my ship. I don’t venture out much. I like things the way I have rationalized them out to be. And I know that I am an anomaly.

This is why I like to engage in “Ship And Let Ship” mentality. You ship what you want. I ship what I want. Everything is fine. Everyone is happy. I won’t board your ship if I don’t want to. You don’t need to board mine either. That’s fine.

The reason why writing for my ship has become difficult for me is because of something that happened about a year ago.

A few of you may remember a post I made in which I openly and honestly expressed my feelings about how I felt I was treated by others. I deleted that post. Even though I posted it solely for myself--so I could remember what happened and get my feelings out of my head because I needed clarity--it was taken as a personal attack by the people involved in the incident. They confronted me about it, thought I was slandering them (even though I didn’t use any names), and treated me like it was a wretched thing I had done to them. They made me feel like I didn’t deserve an outlet to vent, like this safe space that I created for myself wasn’t safe. So I deleted it.

Not too long later, the people involved did everything they could to ostracize me. They pushed me to the far reaches of the group, snapped at me whenever I expressed any opinion, and treated me poorly before deciding that I wasn’t worth their time. There were several compounding factors about why these things escalated, but one of them had to do with shipping.

Apparently, expressing that I wouldn’t engage in material that separated my OTP and put them in other situation was a bad thing. There were further comments in response to my extremely honest statement that was approximately “You can write what you want, but don’t expect me to read it.” That seemed fair to me, given that most of those people didn’t read or comment on things I posted. I just thought the justification had to be made because I had specifically gone through to read and comment on everything they posted.

Either way, it led to them deciding that I wasn’t open or accepting enough for them. So they removed me from the situation.

This led to an overwhelming desire in me to separate myself from everything they did. Not that it probably would have mattered. After all, they probably aren’t insane and would just bypass my screen name if it ever popped up. (I do wonder if they have blocked me. It’s interesting to think about. Sorry I’m enough of a problem that that was a necessity.) But the part of my brain that fixates on these ideas is astounding. I can’t let my name pop up where they might see it. What if it negatively affects them? I had to unfollow a ton of people that I was mutuals with simply because seeing screen names gave me panic attacks. I couldn’t do that to someone else. I can’t safely write in my fictional universes if it damages another person. Knowing what I know, it makes some of my things really hard to go back to. I know what they peruse. I knew what they sought out. I couldn’t let myself have the freedom to explore anymore.

Eventually, I’ll get to how this affected my anxiety order, but now is not the time. Maybe keep it in mind, if you’re still reading.

At that time, I very busy. I was working, I was traveling for the first time in my life, I was rushed to the emergency room, I was dealing with mental health issues... And I tried not to let those things known. It wasn’t relevant, or so I told myself. However, the lack of knowledge just made my mistreatment worse, and led to drastic thought spirals that directly affected my ability to produce.

I continued trying to write and trying to stay active, but at the same time, activity within the corner of fandom I was involved in dwindled. It happens, really. I know I ship a non-canon rarepair, and that I shouldn’t have expected much. With everything happening at the same time, though, it didn’t help my mental state.

With everything happening how and when it did, I became even more bitter and resentful about activity and response in the fandom. With this, I became much more vocal about how works receive recognition. After all, it makes sense to me that after spending hours and days and weeks working on something, it would garner at least a little more response than a three word comment or a kudos.

This seems like even less because I have a big problem with anxiety.

Each user only gets one press of the kudos button, so that makes it more valuable, right? Not according to my brain. No, my brain thinks that it’s much more likely that the kudos button was an accidental tap on a phone screen, and it’s not possible to revoke kudos once it’s given, so it’s likely all a mistake.

And a short comment? Well, it makes sense that time may be limited and people may not know what to say. But if someone just spent a good amount of time reading something that took days to write, certainly they could spend a few more minutes to let an author know? And the comment would sound like they’d actually read the thing, right?

Surely, it’s not just me. Everyone is probably responding to everything in the same way. My brain doesn’t see that, though. It sees the few works that are only just similar to mine getting some weird standard of “better” responses. As if responses can even be better? Probably just my brain putting me down and making me feel even more worthless. Stupid brain. It’s clear in hindsight, but at the time? I can’t separate those thoughts.

This is how my brain thinks. And it’s not just in fandom. This is every single thought that my brain has. Driving is a pain. So much that I had an anxiety attack while I was driving in a dream. Can’t escape even when I’m unconscious. But that’s my issue, and it doesn’t and shouldn’t have to concern you, if you’re still reading this. (Are you? Hi. Sorry this is so long.)

So what��s the point of all this?

I’m not entirely sure.

Maybe it’s my long-winded explanation of excusing how horrible I’ve been in response to being slighted by people I thought were my friends.

Maybe it’s my apology for letting it manifest so extremely in what I do.

Maybe it’s just thoughts I need to exist somewhere outside of my head.

I likely do owe you an apology. You, whoever is reading this, deserve my utmost sincerity in apologizing to you. Because I have thought poorly of you, and given so much power to all these other doubts that plagued me. And you never deserve that. You are wonderful and joyful and a delight to be around.

I tried to make that my default and to keep myself in that mindset. And along the way, I allowed myself to be so thoroughly destroyed that I couldn’t quite get back there. I can’t start again. That isn’t possible. But I can make the effort to try and get back to where I was. I won’t be the same. But who can say that they ever are, really?

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amorremanet · 8 years ago

Note

Arthur/moody, lucius/moody, lupin/snape?

the brutally honest ship opinions game

Arthur/Moody: ……okay, like, I have basically no positive feelings about Alastor Moody — I mean, I feel the same need to defend him from JKR’s ableist garbage that accidentally got me in too deep with Lockhart, but we are still talking about a guy who supports using Dementors on people and apparently dngaf about what someone’s done, just send ‘em all to fucking Azkaban (GOF ch. 30, the flashback of Moody we see in the first Pensieve scene)

who thinks that the best present you could give to a kid who’s lost his parents and just watched a classmate be murdered…… is going over a photo of the First War Order and telling him about how all of them died horribly and he doesn’t ever stop to think that this might not be the best idea (OOTP)

and who is legitimately less sensitive to other people’s needs and less dismissive of people who aren’t his exact model of “useful” than a literal fucking Death Eater one of the biggest points where Barty Crouch Jr. drops character in GOF is when he takes Neville to his office and gives him a pro-Herbology pep-talk, and goes, “so, hey, Longbottom, Professor Sprout said you’re super-good at this subject, why not pursue it,” because based on the actual canon about him? The real Alastor Moody would never do something like that.

Like, he might have the moment he has with Harry and Hermione, where he goes, “so, hey, both of you could be gr10 aurors if you wanted, you should think about it” because that, from Moody, would be a compliment, and Harry and Hermione more closely fit his own ideas of usefulness, but not so much the Neville moment)

—but seriously, do you hate him or something? Why else would you even dream of shipping him with Arthur Weasley? (okay, fine, I acquiesce that there is enough of a canonical basis for some people to roll with here, and I myself have made ships out of far less…… but seriously, why would you ship anybody with Arthur Weasley. Like…… wow, rude.)

Lucius/Moody: again, I’m not on the Alastor Moody fan-train or anything, but why would you even do this. Nobody deserves to be shipped with Lucius Malfoy, like? He’s not even an entertaining villain, he’s just pathetic. He’s a sad, pathetic fantasy-fascist who gets his kicks by bullying twelve-year-olds and torturing muggles who can’t defend themselves. He’s a complete waste of character space and forcing anyone to be in a ship with him is just unfathomably cruel

Lupin/Snape: meh, whatever. Like, it’s not my thing, but… *shrugs* meh?

Like, idk what you’re looking for here, nonny, but I’m guessing, based on the other two ships, that you’re looking for me to get cranky and ship-bashy and figured that Snu//pin was a good way to get there, since there are a lot of legitimate Problems with this ship in the text

But the thing is, I’m just under 900 years old (at least in fandom terms), and I remember the days back before HBP came out, when Snu//pin was the second-most popular Remus ship (after Wolfstar, to the surprise of no one), and was, in fact, so popular that it had its own private archive and got black-listed from most rarepair comms because it, “wasn’t really rare, just less popular than D//rarry, Wolfstar, Ro//mione, Dra//mione, H//inny, and J//ily”

—I mean, there was a short stretch before OOTP where I tried to make myself like it because there was a BNF whose art I loved, and she shipped Snu//pin, so I felt like I had to be missing something obvious and cool and because I was, like, twelve, I tried to make myself ship the thing. That didn’t work and I eventually just moved on, but one thing that I recall about the Snu//pin fandom that appears to still be more or less true, based on everything I’ve seen of the present-day Snu//pin fandom?

Is that they came out about the same as the Wolfstar fandom, in terms of how many shippers ignored or made excuses for #Problematic things about the ship vs. how many shippers work those things into the overall fabric of how they ship the thing, how many shippers LIKE the ship because of those Problematic parts and having the opportunity to explore them in fiction, how many shippers actively dive head-first into exploring those parts of the ships because that’s where they find the most engaging character interactions or whatever they’re into, etc.

For examples of what I mean when I say #Problematic things about the ships:

the fact that all three of them are self-loathing [human or werewolf] disasters who are often passively suicidal and either prone to acting out on those feelings (Sirius and Severus), or prone to repressing those feelings until they explode all over some innocent bystanders (Remus)

the fact that all three of them have suffered horrific abuse in their pasts — whether from their parents or other sources — and find ways to take it out on other people (Severus on his students, Sirius on Severus and Kreacher, and Remus on almost anyone who tries to get close to him, even as he makes it seem like he isn’t doing that)

Severus outing Remus as a werewolf because he’s upset and felt like punishing someone else for it, thereby leading to Remus tendering his resignation

the fact that Sirius assuming Remus had to be the spy would’ve been at least partially based on anti-werewolf prejudices, and Sirius still clearly had at least some of those prejudices on his own, because even if Peter totally manipulated them in his favor, there had to be something there for Peter to manipulate in the first place, so???

the fact that Remus doesn’t help shit anything, in any situation ever, with his habit of trying to weasel out of any Emotionally Difficult™ conversations and his tendency to mentally spin most situations so that everyone is going to leave him in the end anyway so it’s acceptable to shut down, close himself off, and pull stunts that more or less come down to, “totally up and bailing on everyone,” which is understandable, given his backstory, but dude, that doesn’t make it okay or helpful??

basically, “literally anything about the characters as individuals, or in terms of their interactions with each other — both past and present — that could potentially cause problems for either/both/any/all of them and potentially make the relationship unhealthy (or unhealthier than it already was, in the cases of Snu//pin and Snack because…… oh boy, let’s not even act like either of those — or any ship with Sev in it, for that matter — is ever going to be ‘healthy’ by any definition)”

So, like? Is Snupin #Problematic? Yes, definitely. Are some of its shippers prone to ship it in #Problematic ways? Oh, yes, absolutely (Hell, the BNF whose art I used to like even flat-out said things like, “Sirius would never be able to be there for Remus like Snape could” and… um? Even granted that this was pre-OOTP: ummm???)

But on the whole, Snu//pin shippers aren’t actually any worse about totally ignoring and/or excusing these elements of their ship than Wolfstar shippers are (and, actually, they might be doing better than a LOT of the present-day Wolfstar fandom, since I usually don’t see any more recently made Snu//pin that doesn’t grapple with at least some of the #Problematic elements of it — they don’t always do it well, but at least they’re trying, which counts for a lot, to me, because most people don’t even try — while most Wolfstar these days flat-out ignores all the #Problematic elements of Sirius and Remus as characters, and of their relationship, in the name of what often amounts to borderline-OOC caricatured fanon nonsense, so…)

(……Look, I love Wolfstar, and I have for longer than some people on this website have been alive. But I don’t love a lot of Wolfstar shippers, which has been the case since the beginning of my Wolfstar shipping

stayed the case when HBP came out and I was all, “Hey, guys? I don’t like this BS Remus/Tonks thing either, but can we NOT erase bisexuals or treat Tonks like garbage when we’re talking about it, it’s not her fault that Molly Weasley is a meddling nosy garbage buttinski who thinks it’s her job to play matchmaker to fully-grown adults who didn’t ask and don’t want her input,”

and is still the case as I’m over here, all like, “ugh, man, at least we used to have SOME people in this fandom who enjoyed reading Wolfstar angst, now it seems like nobody cares about anything unless it’s all fluff, all the time, with absolutely no room for anything else because god forbid you ever want to write about LGBTQ characters whose lives aren’t 5,000% perfect, that obviously must mean that you’re a gross fetishistic cishet and not, for example, a neurodivergent, mentally ill lesbian survivor who feels left out by the trend towards forcing every LGBTQ person to act like we’re happy, all the time, and to act like we’re only interested in fictional LGBTQ people who are perfectly 5,000% happy all the time

“and to decry any and all depictions of LGBTQ people being UNhappy as gross fetishistic straight people garbage even when they were actually created by and for LGBTQ people, only to be misappropriated by straight people, as if there’s no way you could possibly be LGBTQ and NOT feel ~used and maligned~ by depictions of LGBTQ people that are less than 5,000% perfectly happy, even when they are being created by other LGBTQ people, yeah? ……but yeah, no, clearly: the fact that I like angst obviously means that I am a straight person because no ~real~ LGBTQ person ever has any need for those ~gross negative feelings~ or fictional outlets for them, never mind how many LGBTQ people get excluded from our narratives and spaces by this bullshit bc lmao who cares amiright. ://”)

—anyway, my motto has been and remains, “It isn’t a question of WHAT you ship, it’s a question of HOW you ship it,” so hey. Snu//pin is not my thing (it’s not even as non-shippingly interesting to me as Sirius/Severus is, because I love how much those two hate each other while unwittingly being perfect foils for each other), but I don’t actually have any desire to ship-bash it and most Snu//pin shippers are okay with me because unless they’re actually doing anything that’s harmful to anyone else, it’s not my business what they ship

That said: “Snu//pin” is still one of the worst portmanteau ship names ever and it still sounds like a deadly virus or something, but *shrugs* Whatever, it’s not the shippers’ faults that their ship members’ names don’t smush up all that nicely

#memes for ts #ask box tag #mine: replies #mine: asks #mine: hp #harry potter for ts #character disliking for ts #ship disliking for ts #mine: fandom blah blah blah #lgbtq stuff #(under the read more… it. um. kinda came up while talking about snu//pin and wolfstar. …sorry? :/)#opinions for ts #wank for ts #(probably??? like not intentionally but the answer for the snu//pin one kinda goes there so)#nonny

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