#shes.... GERMAN

[foldingfittedsheets]

When I was learning German my teacher pulled me aside to ask which of my parents spoke German. I was confused and said neither. Then belatedly I remembered that my dad did speak very rudimentary German after being stationed in Heidelberg for a few years.

This teacher was well loved but very strict, being questioned by her was always a little intimidating. I didn’t know why she was asking.

She pressed to ask if he spoke it with me and I laughed nervously and said no I asked him not to speak it because he couldn’t even conjugate verbs.

Apparently my accent was so good that she assumed I’d had more than one year of practice. The problem was my vocabulary. Ironically I needed her to translate the word for accent as I was unfamiliar with it. I was a decent student but some words tripped me up.

One day she conducted an oral exam and asked us to talk about the hospital. We could say whatever we wanted. In the middle of my nervous little monologue about how we go to the hospital when we are sick and the doctors and nurses help us she suddenly burst out laughing.

I had never seen her laugh before, at least not more than a sensible chuckle. But here she was, bent over her stomach cracking up leaving me baffled as to how talking about the nurses could possibly have inspired this extreme hilarity.

The word I was trying to use for nurse was “Pfleger” but I’d said “Fluger”. (Possibly fliegen? It’s been a long time) What I said was close to fly, and the teacher was imagining flying nurses drifting along the hospital wing.

She apologized and tried to compose herself but she admitted that hearing my extremely competent accent saying absolute nonsense was the highlight of her week.

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Us, arriving to Austria to a tiny family hotel owned by an elderly lady

Us: speak only limited German

Lady: barely speaks English

Us:

Lady:

Lady: Czech? Slovak?

Us: Czech

Lady, to herself: Czech, that's a Slavic language right

Lady: understand Yugoslavian?

Us:

Us: yeah that works

[brimstoneclone]

honest to god i laughed SO FUCKING HARD at this

[auspicioustidings]

ZOO KEEPER 141

Big cat bastard Ghost who absolutely tricks you into the enclosure by telling you the lions were in the back and then delights as you absolutely freak out thinking you are going to die.

Gaz at all times has a little trail of penguins behind him those little bastards adore this man and in fact nip at you whenever you get near him (he makes a point to always get near you because he finds angry penguins attacking you very funny).

Soap has not once told you the truth about how dangerous the insects, arachnids, or snakes he has made you hold for photos are. He does enjoy watching when you later read the little plaques and go a funny shade of green at how close you came to a very grusome demise.

Price is frequently making national news because he is teaching the gorilla's sign language (and telling them your name is good girl so that they sign it at you whenever you walk past that enclosure).

You reckon you could get them all back given how much your wolves seem to like you, but it's sort of weird that the four most playful and safe ones are never about at the same time as the 141 :')

[wlwinry]

fig oath of devotion to the bad kids. can anyone hear me

[hellspawnmotel]

even after settling down, theyre pretty cautious.....

.......it doesnt last long

[carouselunique]

Meet Twinkleshine, the Smug and Dramatic The Illustrious Illusionist of Swap Six/Side Stars!

Fun Fact: Twinkleshine is an absolute glitter fanatic. She loves glitter so much. Shiny things are her kryptonite give her a glitter snow globe and you can distract her for hours. That's how she picked her name, because she just loves twinkling shiny objects.

[thresholdbb]

Ma'am...

[dyke-in-crisis]

“why don’t you read the translated german version of the book?”

LOOK AT HOW THEY BUTCHERED MY GIRL

the font?? the change from gtn to “I am gideon”? the removing bones in a book series about NECROMANCERS?? never fails to piss me off

[shitpostingkats]

Fig's whole thing about embodying a german shepherd is so funny to me as. Someone who works with lots of german shepherds.

YES they are intimidating YES they are working dogs YES they will startle at small shadows, come prepackaged with three separate neuroses, and scurry around like a furtive scoundrel hiding from invisible helicopters.

[fascinationstreetmp3]

the lamb smiling up at the wolf with unsettling passivity etc etc

[die-rosastrasse]

Carl Schlüter, Fraulein Bierling (1883)

Displayed at Albertinum, Dresden

Picture credits belong to this blog

[ato-dato]

Spent an hour of my day just sitting together with my sisters and my mum showing each other gomens edits. Both sad ones and thirst traps. Family bonding time.

My mum also has fanart of aziracrow kissing on her phone home screen. And today she said sometimes she just stares at it longingly. Shes in her 3rd rewatch of s2 as well.

[insolentclown]

Wereing absolute wolf right now

[phoenixyfriend]

Ahsoka should get to go undercover as a pop star.

[powerfultenderness]

Heelloohh! It kenat stop itching my brain so imma share it to everyone, Neighbor könig startling Y/n as y/n let out a questionable sound, and the following nights neighbor könig's he dreamt about that... Please powerfultenderness! THANK YOU!!!!!

🤭 Ooooh boy!!! König's dreams!

Gonna drop a Mature 18+ rating on this one because of those dreams!

König tried to say hi to you, but you ignored him, walking down to the mail room and humming to yourself. He followed you, about to speak up again when he noticed the white earbuds you were wearing. Ah! You couldn’t hear him! A wicked smile crossed his face as he dropped back a few steps while you blissfully continued on your way.

He waited until you had closed your mailbox, attention fully on sorting through the various letters in hand, before he pounced.

“Got you!” He shouted as quickly pulled you in his arms, lifting you in the air enough that your feet swung from the ground.

“Aieee!”

You squealed, mail flying through the air, and kicked your feet out at nothing. Your hands clasped down on his arms as you looked up and behind you to the laughing mad man.

“König! Let me down!”

Still laughing, and with his arms still around you, he set you back on the ground. “You should pay more attention!”

You rolled your eyes and popped your earbuds out and stuffed them in one of your pockets. “Stop laughing!”

Of course that only had him laughing harder, practically leaning on you to keep himself upright.

“König!” You whined and tried to wiggle out of his hold, not very successfully, the man had an iron grip (and chest!).

“Ok! Ok! Sit down, my little bunny.” He once again lifted you from the ground, not nearly as high in the air, and gently sat you down on the table that was pushed against the wall under the mailboxes.

For just a quick moment he was standing between your knees, your thighs spread wide just to accommodate him, and you let out a quiet gasp and whimper in that short moment. He stills, big warm hands grasping at your thighs and you panic. You quickly pull away from him and slap your hands over your face, “it’s not funny, König!” You whine and sniffle and-

“Shit! Are you crying?” He jerked away, as quickly as if he’d been burned and started to fret around you, unsure if he should touch you again.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

A sob racks your body and you hiccup and gasp for a breath.

“I’m sorry, my love! I’m so-” he was leaning down enough to peek at your face, still mostly hidden by your hands, enough to see that you were holding back a smile. “You’re laughing!!” He jumped back and pointed an accusatory finger at you!

You finally let go and dropped your hands from your face as you threw your head back in laughter. “Ahahhahahaha!!! That’s what you get for scaring me, you big jerk!”

You must have looked like two maniacs just sitting in the mail room laughing like crazy, but neither of you could care at the moment what any passerby would think of you.

He helped you gather your fallen mail, and grabbed his mail while he was there too, and the two of you still shaking in laughter, walked you back to your flat.

-

Flowers. Pretty flowers that faded from sight as he nuzzled his face into the soft skin of your neck. “So beautiful.”

You gasped, arching into his touch and whimpering as he nibbled and lapped against your pulse point.

“König,” your arms were around his neck, hands clawing at the back of his shoulders like your life depended on him. Good, he growled as his lips traveled up your neck to your face, you needed him, he pressed his lips against yours, thrusting his tongue into your mouth. He needed you.

You squeezed your thighs around his waist and let out another erotic whimper. You pulled back from him, he tried to follow, but you gently pushed one hand against his chest to stop him. “König,” you whispered and glanced shyly away from him. He didn’t like that. He nudged your chin so you were looking at him again. “What?”

“Can I sit on your face?”

His eyes rolled back and he groaned, hips grinding into you. “Yes! God, yes! Please!”

He picked you up from the mail room table and turned around to set you on his bed, hands flying underneath the skirt of the pretty dress he bought you to pull down your panties, black lace finding a new home in his pocket.

Then he climbed on the bed, laying down while simultaneously pulling you, giggling the whole time, on top of him. You sat up, knees spread apart so that you were straddling his chest. He ran his hands up your thighs, pushing your skirt high against your waist, the fabric pooling down your center. “Come here,” he tried to get you to move higher on him, but you ignored him and leaned down instead.

You softly pressed your lips to his in a gentle kiss. “König.”

He gladly returned your kiss, but upon its natural conclusion he once again tried to entice you to move, just a little more.

“König.” You repeated with a breathy sigh.

“What?”

-

“König!”

“WHAT!”

“Jesus, man! Wake up, it’s go time!”

“Fuck!” König shook the dream from his mind for now, focusing on the mission before him. But the second he had a moment of free time, his thoughts went back to that dream.

[More neighbor König]