#she's just... girlboss snape

[monkshooded]

My smoking hot take is that while Ron is an incredibly shippable character (though not as shippable as Harry, of course) Hermione might be the Least shippable character in the entire series.

[marsmarauders]

marauders' patroni headcanons!

I'm sure this has been done a gazillion times, but I'm here to share my thoughts on what I think the marauders, valkyries, skittles, and co's patroni would've been! (I know that it's been said that Death Eaters can't cast Patroni, but I honestly think that's bologna).

(I also know that the patronus charm isn't technically in the Hogwarts' curriculum, but I honestly don't care).

Let's start with the canon Patroni!

James Potter: Prongs. (Stag).

Sirius Black: Padfoot. (Dog).

Remus Lupin: Prefers non-corporeal, but it's a wolf.

(You ever realize that James and Lily's patroni were super similar? (Duh) Well, you know who else has super similar looking patroni... Sirius and Remus. Just saying).

Peter Pettigrew: Wormtail. (Rat).

Lily Evans: Doe.

Severus Snape: I've always had the theory that his original patronus was a bat, and that it turned into a doe once Lily died.

Kingsley Shacklebolt: Lynx.

Now on to my headcanons! <3

Mary Macdonald: A dolphin! I think Mary is such a sweet, curious, extroverted witch, and a dolphin suits her perfectly!

Marlene McKinnon: Her's is 100% a lioness, you can't tell me otherwise.

Alice Fortescue/Longbottom: I think her's would be a horse! She has this graceful strength that I think is so admirable. (Obviously her bravery in the canon series is one of the big reasons for this).

Frank Longbottom: I've always seen his as a meerkat. Meerkats are super loyal and don't accept threats to those they love. They just scream 'Frank' to me!

Emmeline Vance: I believe her's in canon is non-corporeal, but I wanted to give her one anyways! I think hers would be an otter! They're just so excited and energetic, and that is how I see Emmeline.

Dorcas Meadowes: A fox! Foxes are super intuitive and ambitious, and Dorcas is just... what can I say, she's the ultimate girlboss.

Regulus Black: I know so many people think his is a cat, and while I can see that, I personally think his is a panther. (Still technically a cat!) A panther is a strong-willed animal would isn't afraid to stand up to anything.

(You may be wondering "that doesn't sound like Regulus at all," and you're right, it doesn't. It sounds more like Sirius. I did that on purpose. I think his happiest memory has to be him and Sirius when they were younger, and so I think his patronus manifests as a mix of him and Sirius.)

Barty Crouch Jr: His is a mongoose! Mongeese are extremely intelligent, and can be very friendly, however, they're also very unpredictable. They can represent impulsiveness and rebellion, which is just so Barty to me.

Evan Rosier: "Raccoons act out when held captive." Need I say more?

Pandora Rosier/Lovegood: I think Pandy's patronus is a swan! Swans are graceful and emotionally intelligent, and I think that suits sweet Pandora's personality perfectly!

Xenophilius Lovegood: I think his would be a chameleon. (Is this partially because of what he did when Luna was taken? And because chameleons represent easy and sudden change? Yeah, maybe a little but hear me out). Chameleons are able to easily adapt and change, and I think that sounds like Xenophilius. That's all! I hope you all have a wonderful day/afternoon/night, wherever you are! And let me know what your headcanons are!

[queenvhagar]

honestly I think the show runners are being genuinely stupid right now cuz a part of the reason got season 8 was a disaster was of course due to no proper buildup and bad writing but I honestly think it was the marketing and all the press tours of the actors like they all genuinely made it seem like daenerys wasn’t a very flawed individual and alot of scenes that should’ve been presented as oh that’s actually a very dark thing she’s doing we’re instead turned into girl boss moments. The majority of the audience wasn’t mentally prepared for the turn cuz in-universe practically no one had realistic reactions to her and called her out. This especially backfired cuz alot of people that were watching the show were not reading the books and making theories. ( like dude at the very least your actors shouldn’t be so horrified and shocked like forget following the marvel way of keeping scripts secret for months just follow the Alan Rickman snape thing and let them know so they perform accordingly )

Now instead of learning from that they want the love dany got before season 8 from the audience but it’s like now you know how this ends for rhaenyra this is not a secret but again alot of the audience watching this probably hasn’t read the books so you have to lay down the groundwork otherwise you’re going to end up in the same position once again cuz the book-blind audience will only see that oh rhaenyra has been making all the right decisions why is she also turning ‘mad’.

They should be thinking longterm right now and how to make sure the prestige of the show remains even after it’s over but that won’t happen if again you are purifying these characters and fundamentally changing who they are but still want the same plot beats to happen.

at this point I can’t easily picture the outrage for rhaenyra taking an evil turn later on and how the show runners are sabotaging her

I do hope they aren't planning on downplaying Rhaenyra's mad queen arc, because that would completely ruin her character (though what we've seen from this season so far, there's little hope of a book-accurate Rhaenyra arc happening).

How it's going now I can almost see it being the threat of Aemond and Vhagar and stories of their devastation in the Riverlands being the reason people rise up against the dragons and Targaryens as a whole (instead of it being Rhaenyra's paranoia and cruelty, as well as Helaena's death, that causes the people of King's Landing to turn against Rhaenyra, kill the dragons, and drive her out of the city). The way Aemond has treated the smallfolk so far, how he will in future episodes, according to the leaks, and this episode's highlighting of all the sheep being sent to Vhagar despite the lack of food in King's Landing, along with the smallfolk apparently loving Rhaenyra and the Blacks despite them causing the blockade and Meleys murdering hundreds... it seems to be conveniently setting up the blame of the fall of the dynasty to go towards the Greens completely.

I wouldn't be surprised if Rhaenyra continues to be absolved of wrongdoing... although it would clearly be a much more interesting show if the writing would start allowing Rhaenyra her fire and exploring her superiority complex and the impact it has on how she rules and others view her.

If they continue to present her as some flawless girlboss and somehow also want to include the mad queen arc though... they'll be in for a rough ride.

[bestblacksister]

Introduction Post

I saw Cissy do this and anything she can do, I can do better 🖤

About ✨me✨

26 (I'm NOT old), proud Slytherin 🐍, eldest (prettiest, most talented, and best) daughter of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, avid follower of You-Know-Who 🙌 (but for legal purposes, it's just hypothetically, all in my head), unhinged, feminist, goddess in flesh and bone (I'm literally named after a star ⭐ and Bella means beautiful 💅🏻), I like beatles 🪲 (the insect, not a muggle band)

Fellow witches and wizards on this thing:

@narcissasupremacy - Narcissa Black, my beloved sister Cissy (we have another one but she's problematic), only one named after a flower rather than a star/constellation 💫

@are-you-siriius - Sirius Black, our ex-cousin (he was disinherited... embarrassing 🥱), Gryffindor blood traitor (ofc this wouldn't have happened had he been sorted into Slytherin)

@reallyregulus - Regulus Black, the better cousin (Slytherin) and new Black heir (I'd be a best fit, as I'm the oldest and wisest. Sadly, only men get to hold that title 😒)

@severely-severus-snape - Severus Snape, a fellow Slytherin, friends with my sister (in love with a mudblood 💀)

@justtjames - James Potter, Gryffindor blood traitor (corrupted my cousin, the bastard 😡 Corrupt Reggie and I swear to Merlin Potter-)

@actuallylupin - Remus Lupin, Gryffindor half-blood dating my ex-cousin (why?), according to Severus - a werewolf 🐺 (?)

@peterpeterpumpkinpeter - Peter Pettigrew, the less loud Gryffindor (who apparently likes pumpkins? What's with that name? 🤨Moving on...)

@ritaskeeteroffical - The gorgeous and talented, one and only, Rita Skeeter 👑 (I'm a big fan of yours, let's have a chat? 😘)

@evan-at-deaths-doorstep - Evan Rosier, Slytherin, I'm pretty sure we're related... 🤔

@italianbartycrouchjr - Bartemius Crouch Junior, Slytherin, better than his father (is he dating Evan? I'll have to ask Rita for the gossip), somewhat psychotic but that's part of his charm

@pandorahaspropheticvisions - Pandora Rosier, also considered crazy - we're likely related (Why don't you join my... club? Those visions would surely come in handy 👀)

@dorcas-in-a-meadow - Dorcas Meadowes, girlboss energy, has potential (let's chat)

@marlesbiane-mckinnon - Marlene Mckinnon, feisty Gryffindor, possibly a mudblood (?), dating Meadowes

@lily-evans-loves-nature - Lily Evans, Gryffindor mudblood 🤢

@marymaccies - Mary MacDonald, another Gryffindor mudblood 🤢 (and dating the previous one)

@alice-loves-herbology - Alice Fortescue, stole my sister (break her heart, I'll break your legs, arms, skull, soul...), but at least her family has great ice cream 🍦 (I scream, you scream, we all scream for the Dark Lord 🙏)

@totallyteddytonks - Theodore Tonks, the mudblood that my sister Andromeda seems to like 🤢

Disclaimer: this is for roleplay purposes only, the user does not agree with the character's views and morals. Don't take anything at face value. If you want to join the roleplay, DM @jaylienpotter

[eastwindmlk]

For the Give me a Character ask game:

Lucius Malfoy or Fleur Delacour

Please and thanks

Oh I love them both! So, let's do both! (I have realized going through these that I don't have any interesting opinions on anything)

How I feel about this character

Lucius: I don't think I will ever feel connected to a character like this because he is everything I am not. While I don't particularly like him as a person, I respect him being a girlboss.

Fleur:

So, Fleur is one of those characters that I had to learn to appreciate because I was very young when I first read the books. Over time and with some maturity, I feel like she is super underrated and, if given the chance, she can be a real BAMF.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Lucius:

Obviously, this man belongs with someone that can keep him in check and who better than Narcissa. I think they are just that couple. I really have no interesting observations or rare-pair crack ships for him.

Fleur:

Well, obviously her dragon leather wearing husband Bill! Though I secretly also think she would totally be adorable with another cool lady like Angelina.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Lucius:

I really think that his wife is also his best friend, but obviously that is a romantic connection. I cannot see him have much of a friendship with any of the characters we know. Mostly because we do not get to know most of the pureblood older generation.

While I love the Lucy and Snape memes, I think the fact that he is a half-blood really hinders them being friends because the power dynamic is weird.

Fleur:

Little bit of an odd one, but I think she would get on really well with the twins. They're daring, clever, and witty. I also think they would be the least bothered by her being French.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Lucius: I think I already touched on it in the broTP, but I really do not think he would get on with Severus Snape all that much. I think he would look down on him and treat him more like a minion than a friend.

Fleur:

I really have none. I think just liking her is unpopular.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Lucius:

I would have seen some of the consequences for his actions.

Fleur:

We got to see so little of her being a the badass she is. I would have loved to see her in a battle, kicking arse or maybe putting Molly in her place for treating her absolutely horridly.

[moonlightdancer26]

Let’s all have a moment of silence for the fact that Marauder stans are the HP equivalent to Wanda stans…

So tragic 😣

The hypocrisy

The not holding them accountable for their actions

The praising of their horrible actions because “anyone would have did that if they were in their shoes” or “well that wasn’t their intention” and “well they did something good and sacrificed their family/themselves so they’re automatically innocent angels”

The hating on the one character that “negatively” interacted with them then stanning other characters that are equivalent or worse than that one

The fact that the characters they hate did more to save the world (died for it actually) than their uwu babies and they’d rather have an aneurysm than admit it…

The WAY they give these characters the title of “feminist icon” when they’re far from it💀

It’s giving clown show at this point…get in bitches, we’re going to the circus 🎪 🚗

Please how did I never notice the similarities??😭

The hypocrisy, the double standards, the toxicity, the excuses, bashing other characters that were nowhere near as bad, etc etc. Literally how the fuck did I not realise this??

Wanda stans excuse her joining Hydra, enslaving an ENTIRE town hostage because her boyfriend died, murdering multiple innocent people, and literally being a mind-rapist by claiming that “she was just grieving it’s understandable uwu”, yet they demonise Dr. Strange for doing bad things when he took responsibility for them and always mended them, and they call Tony Stark horrible… y’know… the same man who died saving everyone.

Marauder stans excuse the Marauders’ sexually assaulting, abusing, choking, immobilising, and nearly murdering a poor, unpopular, already-abused, half-blood Slytherin who was powerless against them by claiming that they were just popular kids when they did it and that Snape “deserved” it.

God- the excuse those idiots make:

“Oh but Wanda was so alone, she was grieving and had to create a fake reality to ignore the truth”—Really? A sob story? That’s her excuse? As if everyone didn’t lose someone in the war

“Oh but the Marauders were just popular boys”—They were 16, that’s old enough to know sexual assault is horrible

“Oh but Snape bullied Neville years later so that means his teen-self deserves it”—Ahh, so James and Co had the ability to see 20 years into the future? Huh.. I wonder why Rowling never brought that up

Let’s not forget the horrendous cringey-ass girlboss feminist quote from Marvel themselves: “You break the rules and become a hero. I do it and I become the enemy. That doesn’t seem fair.”

Welp, I guess acknowledging your mistakes, taking responsibility for them, facing the consequences, feeling guilt, mending them, and saving the entire universe is comparable to enslaving an entire town, always playing the victim, whining about your suffering, having characters and Marvel themselves excusing your crimes and never actually facing the consequences. Yeah ok that makes sense.

And I will literally never get over the fact that Wanda and the Marauders get called feminist icons. Like…. WHAT?😭😭 James threatened a girl (Lily) with violence, blackmailed her, and harassed her. Sirius and Peter actively supported it, and Remus did absolutely nothing to stop it. And let us take a second to remember that Remus wanted to abandon his pregnant wife. Not very feminist of him. And Wanda—while not exactly sexist—is FAR from being a feminist icon.

It’s giving clown show at this point…get in bitches, we’re going to the circus 🎪 🚗

*hops in*

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

Bellatrix is feminist icon in the same way that Margaret Thatcher is: not a fucking good way. Omg so #girlboss thoooo 🤪🤪🤪🤪

Seriously, I don't know what your idea of feminism is, but mine is about defending the rights of women and lifting each other up, not standing alone at the top of the food chain with blood of other women on my hands and slurs on my priviliged tongue.

Please, you can just call her a strong female character instead of dragging feminism through the mud.

okay i am going to be honest here, i was contemplating whether i should answer this at all. the wording feels very passive aggressive.

however i do want to encourage open conversation on my blog. and its important for me to stress that it is okay to disagree w my opinions and come talk to me about it. so i am going to answer this politely.

when i say "feminist icon" in the context of fictional characters, i mean female characters who are inspirational to me. who i can look up to. whose stories give me strength to deal with shit in real life.

for different people, it will be different characters - and that's okay.

the way i see it, she is the only character in the entire series who really breaks the stereotypes of whats expected of her as a woman, especially in the context of pure-blooded society where shes raised (which i relate to a lot, having grown up in a religious muslim environment where a woman's sole purpose is to marry young and have a bunch of kids).

my impression of bellatrix when watching/reading the series was that she was the ONLY female character who:

is an active fighting member of the Death Eaters, an all-male organization

is the most important and powerful member of said organization, after snape and the dark lord himself

does not have children, which goes against the entire concept and purpose of marriage in pure-blooded society

is way more powerful and "important" than her spouse. her story is independent from Lestrange

does not have her story revolve around a bigger male character

Her entire character arc is centered around defying every possible role she's been assigned since birth.

I have a whole post on this, which people seem to reference a lot, but based on the things they say, dont actually bother to read before coming to tell me they disagree.

It is important for me to note that once again, we are talking in the realm of fictional world. I am under no illusions that killing and torturing people is, indeed, a bad thing. This is fiction.

And once more, I encourage people to challenge my opinions and talk about it, but please do try to do it in a respectful manner. You can come off anon and talk to me either publicly or privately about this.

[whatsortofschoolisthis]

Ismelda to everyone but Beatrice: I'm not your friend; I'll break your kneecaps for a nickel.

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Chester: You should take off your hat when you’re inside.

Sean: *removes his hat to reveal another, smaller hat* I can do this 14 more times.

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Ben: I’m Gen X, right?

Jae: You’re not Gen X, you’re a problem.

Ben: Fuck you too Kim.

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Sean: Hey people who know astrology shit, I’ve been having a lot of feelings lately. Any planets I can blame that on?

Professor Trelawney, not missing a beat: Earth.

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Merula: This is terrible! Why did you guys invite me?

Bryn: We didn’t. You invited yourself.

Rowan: No one wants you here!

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Hecate: Your avoidance of swearing is adorable.

Liz: I say “fork” when I get really irritated.

Penny: See? Adorable.

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R: Who are you?

Circle of Khanna: You killed our friend!

R: Do any of you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?!

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Sean: I put the fires out!

Andre: You made them worse!

Sean: Worse? Or better?

Andre: OBVIOUSLY IT’S WORSE SEAN!

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Madam Pince: You have a lot of nerve showing your face around here.

Tonks: You have a lot of nerve being alive!

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Tonks: Uh oh. How are we going to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss our way out of this one, Professor Sprout?

Professor Sprout: Please, please just speak like a normal person, Miss Tonk’s.

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Bill: Go ahead and hex me. This isn’t even my favorite shirt.

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Tulip: Talbott Winger, you should apologize to Merula Snyde for your mean, uncalled for, and accurate statements.

Talbott: Fine.

Talbott, to Merula: Unfuck you or whatever.

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Tonks: You call it “really bad at darts”, I call it freestyle acupuncture.

Rowan: Please stop.

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Ben: So apparently the “bad vibes” I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

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Bryn: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Merula: You could start with a “good morning”.

Bryn: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

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Madam Rakepick: Miss Snyde, could I speak with you for a moment? And, Ames children, you come too.

Merula: Come along then, Afterthoughts.

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Jae: Yearning is nice, but unlike you all, I actually get laid

Charlie: Sounds fake but okay.

Jae: You’re supposed to be my FRIEND Charlie what the fu-

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Sean, the first time Merula tries to bully the siblings: Why’s she making that funny noise?

Hecate: Maybe she’s dying?

Bryn: Oh for the love of- She’s English you two, that’s the way they talk.

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Barnaby: Are you trying to get punched with my legs?

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Professor Snape: On Monday morning, several of our Year 7′s will face their N.E.W.T.S. Now, I know how daunting these examinations can be, so if anyone is feeling anxious or worried, or even if you just want to chat, please, please, do not come crying to me.

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Hecate in the hospital wing after a seizure: Am I dead? Is this my wake? Am I in hell?

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Skye: You really push all my buttons!

Orion: And yet I haven’t found mute.

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Hecate: I don’t need sleep. I need answers.

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Andre: Remember when you didn’t try to solve all your problems with murder?

Sean: Let’s not romanticize the past.

[goingtolebanon]

it’s so funny to me how jkr parades herself around like the biggest feminist when she didn’t even represent her cis female characters in a healthy way?

- molly is an asshole to hermione based on a rumour and it’s never brought up again while she’s presented as a perfect mother (besides being unsupportive of like, all of her kids)

- hermione and ginny hate fleur for *checks notes* being hot and enthusiastically kind

- the stereotype of girls crying in the bathroom is used to the point of there being a GHOST CALLED MOANING MYRTLE WHO HIDES IN THE WOMEN’S RESTROOM AND CRIES

- hermione’s girlboss moment in book four was going to the yule ball with a legal adult who was a professional quidditch player to make ron jealous as if that’s not a situation that can very easily turn into grooming

- hermione physically attacking ron because he dated someone else????????????? and this being presented as a natural reaction???????

- narcissa malfoy being a literal hate crime committing war criminal but for some reason being redeemed for wanting her son to be alive

- ginny’s only personality for the first few books being that she had a crush on harry potter

- snape being presented in a positive light despite being so obsessed with lily that the only thing keeping him from being a wizard hate cult member was her??? even though she explicitly rejected him and he continued to be creepy towards her????????????? this is not a love story this is just a guy who doesn’t know what no means

- every female character just hating luna???? until they think she’s useful???????? like literally tricking her and being cruel to her and her being a running joke???? this is more anti-autistic but like STILL

- lavender brown being thrown under the bus for being happy about the fact that she has a romantic partner and, while a little misguidedly, caring for him in ways she thinks he will appreciate

- so many female characters being described as “strong” by reviewers i think the words you’re looking for are “not like other girls”

- honestly the only woman characters in harry potter i felt were actually depicted as wise were mcgonagall and luna

and sure, many of these can be argued to be character choices and therefore not representative of the author’s views, but a piece of work reflects what the writer thinks for sure, and many of these are recurring events

also the idea of family in harry potter is so convoluted. yes harry is basically adopted by the weasleys. yes the only place he was safe was the house his biological mother protected instead of where he belonged. yes molly weasley is emotionally abusive towards the twins. yes she is depicted as a wonderful mother figure to everyone around her. yes sirius doesn’t get to be a parent to harry because they aren’t closely related. yes dumbledore (the man who willingly led an ELEVEN YEAR OLD on a path ending in his death) gets to have full say over what happens to him. yes harry hates his son. yes he knows what it was to be unloved. WHAT.

[sistersblack]

Your crack posts are great but I'm curious what your serious thoughts/headcanons for Lucius are. or are those it?

fjdjd no they’re not it (at least not really; i think to an extent his wealth and status would allow him to just be Like That but my crack posts are definitely exaggerated). i have a post from a while ago where i talk about him more seriously but i don’t think i’ve done headcanons??? i’ll do some for you now

full disclosure i’m half asleep so these won’t have any real structure to them. also i’m definitely going to forget important ones since rn my fandom mind is elsewhere. that said:

these are silly but personality wise i think he’s a scorpio (november birthday) & probably neutral evil

competitive to a fault

bookish but hides it. not completely (it’s good to look smart!) but i imagine he wants his intelligence to appear more effortless than it is

on that note, i hc he has a lot of shallow knowledge across a wide range of topic with a few areas of interest where he digs deep. but it’s important to him that he can carry a conversation on any topic without looking like an idiot

and again on this note: used to raid severus’ bookshelves, especially his muggle books, and especially historical ones. sometimes they’d even trade books or knowledge. it’s not because he cares about muggles but because he hates feeling out of the loop.

genuinely enjoys fashion and keeps up with trends just as much as narcissa does. knows multiple charms specific to crafting/mending clothes.

buys his wife flowers weekly just because. buys even more when he fucks up.

likes animals but not necessarily your traditional pets. enjoyed care of magical creatures at school & excelled in it. has an aviary at the manor where he keeps rare birds (in addition to his peacocks) and gets annoyed when anyone other than him goes near it (including narcissa and draco. including when draco was just a curious baby. it’s definitely caused arguments but they’re his birds!!!)

collects rare/expensive wine but doesn’t like the taste of it. only drinks it when he has to.

artistically gifted. was taught at a young age how to paint by his mother. it’s one of the few happy memories he has of her and he holds it dear (but he won’t admit it!!!)

related: he continues to create art well into adulthood but hides it from most people. still gifts narcissa oil paintings of herself every other anniversary. 

his parents were a marriage of convenience, not love. he’d resigned himself to the same fate and is genuinely surprised at how thankful he is when he gets to marry someone he loves.

bisexual, baby.

is an excellent swimmer.

has like, definitely read at least one (1) trashy romance novel just to “see what the fuss was about.” likes to quote the most ridiculous lines from it at inappropriate times.

his mother died when he was still quite young. the details for this one change depending on what i’m writing, but generally it happens before his thirteenth birthday (sometimes on it). he’s forced to get over it quickly (abraxas is indifferent to it and doesn’t like that lucius isn’t) & as a result his emotional growth is.... stunted.

has a messy relationship with his father. was abused but doesn’t see it that way; he thinks abraxas was just “shaping” him into the perfect heir. (he won’t address why the idea of using some of his father’s methods on draco makes him sick to the stomach.) aside from these ~lessons~ on how to proudly represent the family name, he and abraxas generally get/got along and lucius maintains that they had a good relationship.

took part in underground duelling clubs & the occasional underground fight club. gambled a loooooooooooot of money.

was originally intended to marry andromeda even though she wasn’t his first pick. (narcissa was!!!! i’ll die on this hill!!)

also on that note: knew andromeda was fooling around with ted & turned a blind eye more than once bc he thought it’d work out in his favour. it’s one of the few secrets he keeps from his wife.

has a strategic eye & gets used for it. is a successful leader. spent most of the first war giving orders (doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, if he can help it).

collects antiques but like, is very serious about it.

polyglot.

can turn off his morality like a light switch so long as the situation is disconnected from those he truly cares about.

actually had to work a job at the ministry in his young adulthood. in fact this is like a malfoy family hc for me; i think they have to contribute a certain amount to the malfoy vaults before they can be deemed worth of becoming head of the family. the money doesn’t have to be acquired lawfully, but most of them have worked jobs before.

insecure in his ability to give open affection. he never received much of it & had to learn. appears cold because of it.

doesn’t like messy or gratuitous torture or death. views bellatrix’s methods as “distasteful.” gets off on elegant violence.

very dry sense of humour

can dance and did actually teach snape how to

has like, no friends. at least not genuine ones. narcissa is his best friend and has been since they were quite young. she’s one of the few people he allows himself to relax around—though their relationship is eventually also very messy, snape is the other. there’s a few reasons for it, mostly that severus knew him when he was young/before he really established himself as the head of the malfoy family (tm) & that he’s seen severus at his worst and knows the other man isn’t in a place to judge.

exceptionally gifted at manipulation. likes to do it as a fun pass time. i wasn’t joking when i said his motto should be gaslight gatekeep girlboss 

OH and used to hit/abuse house elves for attention 

my brain is broken and i can’t think of more rn BUT i love talking about him so if i remember some important ones i miss i’ll definitely rb with more!!! thank you for this ask 🤍