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deusexlachina · 5 months ago

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Wannabe Warden Part 15: Defeat the Qunari with their/my own medicine and also drugs

In which I fight the most infamous battle on the highest difficulty level and am forced to actually come up with a good strategy.

Just then, Isabela shows up to save her girlfriend from being mashed. She gives the Tome of Koslun back to the Arishok. Finally, they can leave! As long as they also get the thief. Who is my girlfriend. I tell him he's already got what he came for, but the Arishok was assigned to be a general, not a compromiser, so we're at a standstill and the best solution he can think of is to duel me for the girl. Isabela objects because she is literally a duelist and holy shit is he stealing her thunder right now.

But I alone have the Arishok's respect, so it's time to duel him. He's incredibly tough and has deadlier moves than me. Everything says I will lose. But I've got a secret weapon. Back when I was dealing with the saar-qamek gas leak, I gave Other Aveline a weapon called Desdemona's Blade, a purchase from the Black Emporium just for that fight, since Fenris won't wield wimpy one-handers and only Other Aveline can decree the poison gas safe. Ole Double-D here deals nature damage because it's covered with poison or something idk.

The damage looks low, but elemental weapons ignore armour, and against enemies weak to nature damage, it does double damage. This is immensely helpful against every fight with mercenaries, such as the saar-qamek fight, since they're vulnerable to nature. It turns out, so is every single Qunari. I bought this weapon to deal with enemies trying to kill Qunari and now I'm forced to kill Qunari with it myself. I would appreciate the irony, but I'm too busy soloing the Qunari army after they wiped out my entire squad. Practice self-care. Get Desdemona's Blade.

It is almost unanimous among the DA2 fandom that this fight is next to impossible as a warrior. It is also nearly unanimous that Sword and Shield is bad and so is Pommel Strike. For some reason, they haven't seemed to realize that this fight is hard precisely because they refuse to use shields or, uh, pommels. Along with Cleave doubling my damage again, and a high critical hit rate from other gear, Double-D can do enough damage to slightly interrupt the Arishok, meaning more fighting and less running. Assault deals even more damage and interrupts him even more - with equal DPS, Assault beats any 2-handed talent for single-target damage. And I'm not doing equal DPS, I'm doing more DPS, because I have Desdemona's Phucking Sword.

Even the shield itself helps a great deal. With a shield, Courage (stuffed with armour runes like everything else I'm wearing) I take substantially less damage, which also means less force, i.e. I don't get ragdolled. Without a shield, I get thrown around the room, even getting stuck behind this Qunari beefcake. The indignity.

Pommel Strike is a warrior move where, instead of hitting the enemy with the business end of your blade, you cleverly surprise them by hitting them with the much less dangerous pommel. This is so stupid that it stuns them for several seconds. This disrupts most of the nastiest threats in the game - it shuts down commander auras, stops mages from using their nastiest attacks, and keeps rogues from stealthing. And it works on the Arishok. He sometimes resists it, but if he doesn't, he's helpless for several seconds, and by the time he's done wiggling around I've nearly got another Pommel Strike waiting for him.

But there's one truly cruel thing about the Arishok fight. Even if you're winning against him, he will...you might want to sit down for this. He will drink a potion and heal himself. Apparently he can do this up to three times, but I can't confirm this because anytime the fight lasted that long I either died or went into a fugue state as I kited him for like half an hour. "But Aveline!" you might say. "You use potions all the time, especially in boss fights. Why is it so obnoxious when they do it?" Because the boss is an NPC. They don't have to actually experience the horror of nearly winning before their enemy unilaterally decides to not die and make the fight even longer.

But my respect wasn't just to Sword-and-Shield and Pommel Strike, which, to remind you, nearly everyone says are horrible. To further spite the Wrong Dragon Age Community, I unilaterally decide to join the Templars, which is also supposed to be the worst specialization, and even the wiki thinks you should spec out of it for this fight. Yes, that means using deadly and addictive lyrium. But I'm just using it to get out of a rough patch, and I'll simply stop using it when things get easier. (THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA. NEVER THINK THIS FOR ANY DRUG -ed.). Being a templar lets Silence the Arishok, which can lock him out of his abilities. This seems to include the potions, giving him effectively less health. This is one of the only times in a game the boss tries to use a potion and I can Just Say No, which I probably should be saying to addictive drugs but I am not. It also makes him glow white, which is pretty embarrassing.

Oh, and it also gives me another source of stun. The fight's starting to look even, but I have one last trick that makes it unfair in my own favour. The Qunari disguised deadly poison as explosives, killing civilians, forcing me to nearly get killed by deadly mercenaries and, worst of all, I had to use Other Aveline. To repay them, I hire my poisoner to make Combustion Grenades - explosives, not poison gas. These deal fire damage, which he's completely immune to, because he's from a hot country I guess. But he's very much not immune to the stun, perhaps because using fire on a fireproof man is stunningly stupid. I bring ten of these and don't even manage to use half before I've killed him. I probably didn't need them at all, but you can never be too careful.

With the Arishok dead, the City of Kirkwall proclaims me worthy. (And when I say the City of Kirkwall, I mean this milf with a crown, but the Viscount got killed so she's now the most important lady) My heart soaring, I await to be finally dubbed a Grey Warden for saving the Grey Wardens from almost certain death at the hands of the Qunari (and, indirectly, Other Aveline). Instead, I just get the Title "Champion of Kirkwall."

GOD

FUCKIN

DAMMIT

#wannabe warden

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winterpinetrees · 5 months ago

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Finally, Adult Supervision (The Gap Years part 21)

July 2nd

Shiprock, NM

For a single day, the story’s timeline aligns with real life! The party finds a somewhat trusted adult. Clay does not believe in respecting his elders, but he doesn't want to get murdered by an old elven man either.

.................

Marin is asleep again, his head resting against Zerada’s shoulder. Clay is on the other side, turning a little yellow-capped bottle in his hands and thinking about their chances. It’s been five hours since the elf was shot. His alien body is reacting about how a human world, the splint is holding together, and he doesn’t seem like he’s in too much pain. That’s really all of the good news they have.

They’ve taken a winding path northeast, though not as winding as they would have taken a day before. It’s all about balancing the risk of capture against the reward of finding allies of Zerada’s family. Somehow they were tracked and found despite their best efforts yesterday, so Clay’s vote was on efficiency instead of stealth. She and Marin had explained that Genus Adust oversees a region of the elven world about parallel to the Colorado Plateau, and that her genus is large enough that it wouldn’t be a good look, or really feasible, to remove all of them. Instead, the new regime presumably killed the most elite nobility, imprisoned anyone with a claim to power, and left the rest to continue life as they always have.

Clay is suspicious of the idea that it wouldn’t be feasible to replace the entire genus. Coups are always sweeping actions, and while he isn’t as much of a historian as Brian, he knows that the semi-autonomous Navajo Nation they’ve just driven onto is proof that far more people can be moved and removed by a far less organized force. They really, truly, don’t have any other options though, so to yet another unincorporated settlement they will go.

“Can you stop doing that?” Sierra says, making eye contact with him through the rearview mirror. She only has her right hand on the wheel. That’s partly because the road is empty and the car can drive itself, and partly because of the curse. He stops turning the bottle in his hands. It’s full of pills and makes a shifting noise when he turns it. Clay rarely fidgets. It’s a sign of weakness to not know what to do with your hands, though Marin does it quite a bit and he’s a prince. The cap of the bottle is marked with a circular design that reminds him of a less threatening biohazard sign but is apparently the elven symbol for medicine that sedates and reduces pain. The high nobility are so fragile that coffee is considered a drug, and these pills contain something a lot more powerful than caffeine. In the human world, the legal manufacture of narcotics is how the Shepard family maintains its fortune. Legal manufacture. He almost laughs at that. The law works for his father, not the other way around. Brian’s dad holding the governor’s seat for the past three years has only made things easier.

Clay shoves the bottle into his pocket. Then the car is silent again. They’ve left the music off so Marin can sleep, even though the elf seems to be able to pass out anywhere, and it feels wrong to make polite conversation. The others have lost that optimism that Clay never had, and his first impulse is to think that they are all driving toward their deaths. The evidence doesn’t add up though. Except for the final shot that shattered Marin’s humerus, the soldiers were shooting to stun, not kill. The apex wants all of them alive. He remembers a young young man languishing in a laboratory cell, in an entire hallway of cells, in a building full of hallways. Zerada said that it couldn’t have been the only lab when he lifted his concussion rifle to try and damage a room full of samples. She’d pitied him.

Clay spent the rest of their time in Vegas rereading online sources and worrying about every ache in his exhausted body. Hell, the true symptoms of smallpox could take fifteen days to appear. It’s been nine. There are parts of this world that he loathes, but plague is an awful way for a society to die. Disease slips in through the cracks. It strikes the groups that Marin’s elven society (and human society too…) try to erase and lurks wherever the money isn’t. He left some people behind in San Francisco. The idea that they might face the worst of this conquest while he is presumed already dead and imprisoned in an alien realm, is enough to keep the gun in his hands even when all logic says to betray the nobles and surrender.

Marin shifts beside him. Clay reaches out to stop him from rolling onto his broken arm.

“Are we there yet?” he asks, green magic glowing in his eyes.

“We’re thirty miles from the Arizona border,” Clay replies.

“Which is also the Colorado border, and the Utah border, but we’re going to New Mexico,” Sierra adds.

“My mother hated that place,” Marin jokes. He stares out at the landscape behind Clay. “It’s only been a few hours, hasn’t it?”

Clay can interpret the statement under that. My arm hurts and it hasn’t been long enough to do anything about it.

“Do you want an ice pack? I sound like a school nurse, but I do have them”.

He’s almost out of chemical variety, but bought a ten-pound bag of ice at a gas station an hour or two ago. The inside of Marin’s messenger bag is magically insulated, but now it is also a bit damp.

So he wraps a plastic bag full of ice around Marin’s arm and tries to ignore how his smile, a strained one only given for Clay’s benefit, makes him feel. Brian is already acting like an idiot. He has a reputation to maintain as the sane one, and falling for the other half of a royal couple will not fix things. He notices a faint glow under his dark skin as well, but Clay can’t tell if it’s his broken bones glowing or something else.

“How are we supposed to know which of your allies are willing to hide you and which aren’t? It’s not like you have a signal our enemies don’t know about,” Brian asks.

Zerada doesn’t seem worried. “Loyalties are literally in our blood. Anyone still flying Adust colors will be thrilled to see both of us free. Occasionally someone will drop out of the nobility and go farm…” She and Marin share a look, “but there aren’t traitors”.

Clay narrows his eyes at that. Hadn’t he heard them say that there was a noble elf (Deanna? No, that’s from Star Trek…) who did switch sides. And this whole scheme to take over the world seems like it’s breaking tradition. They can’t just go knocking on doors and begging for help, right?

“Brian and I are going to go into town, and if we don’t come back in an hour, assume we have been captured. But that is not going to happen”. And that is the end of the debate. Brian doesn’t even argue about being the chosen escort/bodyguard/sacrifice.

They continue to drive. It’s flat here. Really flat. The red color of the ground has faded like something bled the landscape dry, and the only landmarks are a few spines of earth and a single massive rock formation. Their maps call it Shiprock, but the thousand-foot-tall spike is small enough on the horizon that he can cover it with his thumb. Otherwise, the sky above them is an unbroken hemisphere of blue. Clay is a bug at the bottom of a glass.

Sierra has noticed the rock too. “Please tell me the elven settlement is on top of that big rock. That would be so epic”.

Marin turns to her in confusion, then winces when he jostles his arm. “Why? Where would the water come from? And this place would be terrible for a stronghold”.

Brian moves to, presumably, ask about the details of elven warfare, but Sierra is faster. “Well, I’d love to live on the side of a cliff,”

“Your society is based on appearances and waste, that’s why,” Zerada snaps back. “The village is built on the plain, where the river runs in the elven world”.

There is a river in the human world too. It’s about seven miles north and has likely dried to a trickle because of industry and climate change.

Zerada directs where to park the car (the side of an unpaved road, against one of those ridges of rock that may not be natural) and steps out. Her tall boots kick up clouds of dust and Brian throws some of it over the car and its license plate. Then they’re gone, walking off into the distance where it’s difficult to tell what distortion was caused by heat waves and what was caused by illusions. Marin shifts out of the awkward middle seat to the left side. Sierra tentatively reaches out for the radio and switches it on.

One of the songs is more familiar than the others and for a moment he mistakes Marin for someone else. There is a boy back home with shorter locs and darker eyes, but Clay likes to think that he has the composure of a fantasy elf, and maybe that’s the reason for the mistake. He’s probably at work now. Clay almost laughs at that. He’s waiting for a princess to find survivors of a coup, and his ex is stocking inventory on the Pacific coast. He says something meaningless to the duo and does not let the car go quiet again until Brian returns.

He does eventually return to the car. He’s pulled his baseball cap down over his face, but he’s smiling.

“Zerada found someone. An old teacher of yours? Litayo?”

“Yes! He‘s one of Zerada’s relatives. Does he still have a fox? It would be a different fox by now”. Brian nods slowly.

They step out of the car and run as quickly as they can towards a village that reveals itself suddenly from the plain. Marin is still capable of casting some magic, but not enough for the schemes they’re used to. Brian leads them between the short buildings. His memory for locations isn’t anywhere near as good as Clay’s, but it’s enough in this village. The building is a short hexagon made of earth, with holes for airflow and a door that leads underground. He sweeps the curtain covering the entryway open and looks down. The stairs must be very steep because there are two reflective red eyes lower than where he would expect eye level to be. Then the eyes blink and a dust brown dog not much larger than a chihuahua rushes towards him. He bends down to one knee and catches the little thing in his arms. It has a pointed nose and floppy triangle ears. Is this a fox? Then his eyes have adjusted to the dimness and he looks further into the room.

Zerada and the oldest elf they’ve seen sit at a table. He wears a simple tunic in Adust orange, and his gray hair has a few streaks that show it might have once been dark. Zerada looks out of place beside him with her jewelry and human clothing.

“This is Litayo,” she explains. “He’s one of my grandfather’s cousins”. Dead father. Dead mother. Presumably captured brother. He doesn’t know the language that the casualty list was written in, but if he did, how many of them would have had that same last name?

The fox, if it can even be called a fox at this point because it just isn’t right to call a dog a wolf and this floppy-eared thing is clearly domesticated, tries to lick his face. The old elf stares down at him. The lines on his face are like the cracks in the desert ground.

“So you made the splint for His Highness’s arm? It’s capable work”.

His Highness. Clay had almost forgotten that Marin was a prince. He’s… well he looks eighteen. He’s wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. He misplaces his earrings and thinks that Princess Leia is a better character than Luke. He can feel that Zerada is a noblewoman, but when it’s Marin’s turn to play music and he scans the radio stations for old rhythm and blues Clay can almost think Marin’s day-one brainwashing was true and they have known each other for years.

Marin confirms that he made the splint, but then he keeps talking. Clay is their best shooter. He has common sense. It's been a while since someone has defended him like this. His father might have disowned him by now if he wasn’t the best at everything he did, and it’s not like he really wants to spend the next four years at Harvard but once he got in it was clear that his father wouldn’t pay tuition for anywhere less. He's had to justify his existence himself. Now why does Marin think it's necessary to do it now, and only for Clay?

Clay is still kneeling on the ground with a rambunctious fox six inches from his face, but he straightens his back and sets his jaw. “ I killed a nobleman to save Marin on the day of the coup. I am more than capable”.

He bites back an additional reply. What did this nobleman do when the rest of Zerada’s family was dragged off or killed? The thing is, Marin needs a decent cast, Sierra needs a curse removed, and it won’t do to anger their best shot. When Sierra starts to defend him, he shoves the fox into her arms. Someone here needs to have common sense.

…………………

The fox-dog is to this thing (a kit fox) as a labrador is to a wolf. soft and loveable.

@lokiwaffles

#by me #the gap years #my ocs #writing that *is*

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liopleurodean · 2 years ago

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Season 3, Episode 16: No Rest For The Wicked

Disclaimer: my mom absolutely refuses to rewatch this episode, for reasons that are (I hope) abundantly clear (just because there's plot armor doesn't make major character death any less painful)

He be zooming

Whoa. Hellhound sight is contrasted to high heaven

PTSD, before it happens!

Burro something

Hah! You wish

Well yeah. It'll be okay. But he's still going to Hell

Dean, your trauma is showing

Fancy

Valid concerns

Ruby!

They both have good points

Dean's the one dying, I say do it his way

Sam. You idiot

Hi Ruby!

At least she called them pretty

Liar

Actually, it is god-given, in a way

At least she knows it

Yoda asdfghjkl

That's gonna happen

NOT THE MUSICAL REFERENCE

He is anything but spineless

She is not having it

Niiice

Devil's Trap babyyy

Shut your piehole

It's probably true, knowing them. But you can't think like that

You can't play ping pong with the Winchesters

Always has been

Exactly

Dean's figured it out

EYE OF THE TIGER ASDFGHJKL

Moonlight as a six-year-old, apparently

Poor guy

Whoaaa that's so weird

Nope

That's just horrifying

BABYYYY WHATS WRONG GIRL

BOBBY HOW DARE YOU

That's funny, I was just at prom

FAMILY DONT END WITH BLOOD

Hah, Bobby's got him

No chick-flick moments, Sam

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

Bon Jovi rocks--on occasion!

Jensen can sing better than this, it kills me

Get it, Sam!

Oh great, busted by the cops on his last day

*le gasp* BABY HAS A BROKEN TAILLIGHT? DEAN HOW COULD YOU

Ouch

Good instincts

That's whack

I guess that makes sense

What an eloquent way to put it

That girl is gonna be so overloaded with sugar

Oh, he's gonna die

Poor guy

Wow, Dean

That is so useful

Sorry, Dean

I was half expecting her to be reading Revelation or something

Hey, their Latin is getting more accurate

Stealth mode

Ruby, not now

Dean!

Bon Jovi? Really?

Yeah, Dean slamming against the chain-link fence was pretty loud

Nice!

And they weren't even allowed to move her?

They know

Or that works

Why did he move it like that?

Do it, Sam

That was close

No you don't, Ruby

Yes you are, Sam

Live. It's all you can do

Always take care of Baby, she's priority number one

We know, Ruby

That's a slow dog

That's not gonna hold forever

I should've known

That's just weird

I wish I could see what Dean sees

That's weird

Muddie Buddies is the preferred term

Oh, I don't think I can watch

The look on Dean's face 😭

What was that?

It doesn't work on him

Too late :/

Oh, Dean...

Poor Sam

His eyes are REALLY green

That is not what I imagined Hell would look like

Oh, I don't know how much of that I can take

#ashla chick flick moments #supernatural #season 3 episode 16 #no rest for the wicked

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rocksandrobots · 3 years ago

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Phantoms of the Past: Ch. 5 - Best friends, Boyfriends, and Barons Part 1

"Hey Miss Itamae! Ready for a whole new school year? Hee...hee...eeeh.... yeah, fine." Hiro gave up trying to make small talk with the lunch lady as she unceremoniously slopped meatloaf onto his plate.

Today was the first day of the fall semester and the start of Hiro's second year at SFIT. It felt odd to him, to look back and realize just how much time had passed; how much things had changed during the previous year.

A year ago, today, he had been attending Tadashi's funeral and now he was going about his life as if everything was normal. Well, almost normal. He was also moonlighting as a superhero, adopting an out of time teenager as his new big brother, and befriending deadly robots.

Life was weird.

Of course it wasn't as if he could ignore his loss completely. He had noticed the flowers and cards placed at the foot of Tadashi's memorial over by the exhibition hall. People still remembered that his brother had died a hero. Folks that he didn't even know had left their condolences today, though most of the gifts were from Tadashi's teachers and friends.

Hiro had particularly noticed a painting Honey Lemon had left, of her, Tadashi, and the rest of their friends. He also spotted Gogo sitting out there early that morning, lighting a candle in his brother's memory. He had given her her space, choosing not to interrupt. Gogo and Tadashi had been especially close.

Hiro remembered how excited his brother had been when Gogo finally agreed to go out with him. Tadashi had hurried about their bedroom, a couple of days before the fire, fretting over where to take her on their first date. A date that they had never gotten to go on. At the time Hiro had teased him relentlessly, never passing up the chance to deflate his brother's ego. Now it was just another bittersweet memory to look back on.

Fred abruptly snapped him out of his mournful reflection. "Steve." was all he said as he grabbed Hiro by the shoulders.

"Steve? Uh, my name is Hiro, remember Fred?"

"No, no, no, Steve was the name of the ninja robot that Trina found. She said he was held in a warehouse downtown, along with all the other ninjas. Don't you see, that's our big break! We find this warehouse and then we can track down the mysterious bosu!"

Hiro wearily placed his tray down on the table and took a seat next to Wasabi.

"Fred, it's the first day of school. Can't this wait for later?"

"But-"

"Hiro's right Fred," Wasabi interrupted, "Just because you have all the time in the world to play superhero doesn't mean that we do. We still got our own lives to take care of."

Fred looked hurt at that. "I'm not playing! This is important work. We have a city to protect and this crime boss is just going to keep coming after us if we don't figure out how to stop them."

Wasabi rolled his eyes. "Then you just go on and do that. In the meantime the rest of us have class to attend. I'm heading early to set up for my first lab."

"But labs won't open for like another hour." Hiro pointed out, confused. "They're still cleaning up from the robot attacks last week."

"Ah, he just wants to get there early so that he can see his boyfriend again." Fred complained.

"Sam's not my boyfriend. He's just a colleague, and at least I'm doing something other than obsess over superheroing." And with that Wasabi stormed off, while Fred slouched into the cafeteria chair with a huff.

"Listen, Fred, why don't you go on patrol with Minimax for a while. I'll help you track down this warehouse after school is over with." Hiro said.

"Okay," Fred reluctantly agreed, "but I'm not 'obsessing'."

"I know Fred, but the rest of us also have school to worry about. We just don't have the same amount of free time as you do."

"I know." Fred sighed before walking off.

---------------------------

"Sorry Hiro, but we're kind of busy right now." Honey Lemon regretfully informed her friends.

Fred and Hiro had met up after school as promised. Wasabi had declined to join them on their quest and so they had decided to recruit the girls instead. Though this also seemed to be a fruitless endeavor.

"Yeah, we're kind of in the middle of something." Gogo finished as she leaned back in a reclining chair and placed two cucumber slices over her eyes.

They had found the girls at a spa. Honey Lemon sat next to Gogo with curlers in her hair, and they apparently weren't the only ones out having a beauty day.

"Can't you see we're having some girl time?" Karmi asked, annoyed, as she examined her nails.

"Yeah, Hiro, go take your weird superhero hobby elsewhere?" Megan added.

"It's not weird!" Fred insisted.

"If this is supposed to be a girls only event, then why is he here?" Hiro said, pointing to Varian, who sat next to Megan.

"Uh, getting a manicure obviously." Varian rolled his eyes and then leaned over to show Carol, who was beside him, two bottles of nail polish. "Do you think I should go with the midnight blue or just stick with black?"

"Hmmm... I think either would be nice," she replied.

"Ooooh, have you tried the seaweed wrap they have here? It's great." Fred chimed in.

Hiro rolled his eyes, "Okay, so what are you two doing after this? Could you take up patrol tonight?"

"Nope." Gogo said.

"I promised my brother Carlos that I would help him move into his new dorm room. He starts at UCLA this week and Gogo's offered to drive me there. We won't be back till tomorrow morning." Honey Lemon explained.

"Okay, well, we'll just-"

"Alright, I'm ready." A voice called out, interrupting him.

Trina walked out from behind a door at the back of the spa. Her bulky gigantic metal body was gone and in its place was the frame of a young woman, dressed in a t-shirt, pants, and a cropped jacket. She looked very much the same as the day Hiro had first met her, at the bot fights. Only this time her hair had been cut and styled into a short mohawk and dyed a light purple.

"What do you guys think?" She asked as she twirled around.

Everyone shouted encouragements to her, and Varian cheekily whistled.

"You look nice, Trina." Hiro complimented.

Trina snorted and rolled her eyes. "In your dreams, Hiro." She said, leaving the teenage genius confused by what he had said wrong.

Ignoring him, Trina walked over to the rest of the girls, "Thanks for the clothes... and for everything else." She sheepishly added.

"Hey, no problem." Megan replied. "They look good on you."

"Yeah, and if you need anything else just ask." Karmi added.

"Not to mention it's always fun to have a spa day," Carol piped in. "This was a good idea Varian, thanks for inviting me along."

"Sure thing. When Trina said she wanted help with finding a new wardrobe, I figured all of you would like to go shopping too.... and also y'all know more about clothes than I do."

"Hey, Trina," Fred interjected, "that warehouse where you foun- I mean, met 'Steve', do you happen to remember where it was located?"

Trina gave Fred a frown.

"Oooh, who's Steve?" Karmi asked, happy to gossip, "Is that your boyfriend Trina?"

"No." She said, "The place you're looking for is over in Good Luck Alley, next to Louie's."

"It must've been a bad breakup." Karmi whispered into Honey Lemon's ear, she wasn't very good at keeping her voice down.

"Yeah… he kind of... broke alright." Honey Lemon nervously added, unsure what to say.

"Uh, yeah, well thanks for the tip Trina. We'll be going now, bye." Hiro said as he hurried Fred out the door. He had had enough of awkward conversations and makeovers.

---------------------------

"Fred, wouldn't it be better if we brought our robots along at least?" Hiro whispered.

"You want to sneak around an abandoned warehouse with those two?" Fred whispered back, "I love him, but Minimax doesn't know how to be quiet, like at all."

Hiro sighed, Fred had a point. Baymax also wasn't the best at stealth missions. Hiro slid into the alleyway and peered through a dirty window. He couldn't shake the sense of deja vu as he remembered how he and the robotic nurse had tracked down his missing microbots a year ago at a similar warehouse. They had both been nearly killed by Callaghan when the villain had caught them snooping around. He would prefer to avoid such a scenario again.

"It doesn't look like anyone is here." He said.

"See any ninja robots?" Fred asked as he also pushed by to get a look, pressing his nose against the glass.

"No… Fred, this may be a dead end. Trina already raided the place and no doubt this Bosu would have abandoned the hideout if it was compromised."

Fred pouted, "Maybe… Buuuut, we could always man a stake-out and find out for sure!"

"Fred, I have homework to do. Maybe some oth-"

"Oh please! Just for an hour, or two? Please, please, please? Pretty please? I'll do your homework for you."

"I don't want you doing my homework."

"Okay, chores then; I'll wash Varian's dirty socks and underwear for a… a week… no, a month! Come on, I know how much you hate doing laundry."

Hiro sighed and watched his friend crawl on his knees and beg. "Does it really mean that much to you?"

"Yeeeesss."

"Okay, and no, you don't have to do the laundry either."

Hiro turned to walk out of the alley and Fred got up and followed him.

"That's good, cause I don't actually know how to wash clothes. Usually, Heathcliff does all the laundry. Last time I tried to, I just flooded the washroom."

"Do you have any survival skills? Like at all?"

"Nope. Unless it's kicking bad guys' butts! Ooh, hey, we can host the stake-out at Louie's across the street. I'm starved."

---------------------------

Hiro and Fred took up a window booth inside the restaurant. The establishment had recovered from the police raid from a few months back and was now serving food as usual; though Hiro had already spotted the advertisement for the next upcoming 'bot fight.

A couple of hours past and they had both eaten their meals, plus dessert, along with Fred going back for seconds. Now they were both nursing a couple of cups of coffee, though Hiro's was going cold; it wasn't great coffee.

"Fred…"

"Yeah."

"It's been three hours now."

"I know."

"No one's showed up."

"Not yet."

"Look it's been… 'fun', but I'm going home now."

Hiro got up to leave but Fred grabbed him by the sleeve.

"Oh but… uhh… we haven't even tried the uh… hot dog sushi special. I hear it's really good."

Hiro leaned his head back slowly and closed his eyes in frustration. He didn't want to snap at Fred, really he didn't, but he was quickly losing his patience.

"Fred… no one is coming. Let's just call it a night and try again some other time. Okay." And with that he yanked his hand away and began to walk off.

Fred didn't follow. Instead he sat in the booth, his eyes downcast, staring blankly at nothing. It wasn't his usual pout either. It was something else. Some deeper sadness that few saw from the usually optimistic teen.

Hiro began to worry. He walked back, and stood there waiting for Fred to jump back up all excited again for his return, only he didn't.

"Fred, what's wrong?"

Fred sighed but couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Look, I know that this superhero business is important to you, so much so that you'll probably wind up making a career out of it, which is great, but the rest of us are not going to be doing this for the rest of our lives. We also have to keep up with our studies, chores, our jobs, and what little shred of a social life we have."

"That's not it… I mean yeah, it's a part of it, but that's not why I asked you to come along."

Fred finally looked Hiro in the eye and tears threatened to spill.

"I just miss my best friend, okay."

Hiro looked at him confused.

"I didn't want to say anything, cause… cause he's your brother and I didn't think you'd want to be reminded about him being gone any more than you already have… but today has just been really hard… remembering what happened… I just thought getting out and doing something fun, getting both our minds off everything, might be better than just… just being alone. You know? Especially today."

Fred didn't even have to say Tadashi's name for Hiro to know who he was talking about.

Hiro sighed and slumped back down into the booth.

"I'm sorry…. I… I guess I just… I don't know. I didn't think...."

"No… no, don't. Of course you didn't think. I mean who wants to be reminded of that. The whole idea was to not think about it. And I just ruined it all by bringing it up. Gah…. I'm so sorry."

Fred put his arms over his head and brought his knees up to his chest as if trying to make himself as physically small as he felt. Hiro just had to laugh at the sight in spite of himself.

"It's okay Fred. You're not going to upset me just by talking about Tadashi."

Fred peaked his head out from between his arms. "I'm not?"

"No. I mean he was your friend too."

"My best friend! Man, Tadashi and I, we got up to all sorts of trouble. He was always down for anything. I mean, did he tell you about the time we crashed my cousin's bar mitzvah? As in, we literally crashed. He drove the sport's car into the buffet table by mistake… We couldn't find the parking and then there was this wet patch in the parking lot and we skidded… Oh and then there was the time Mole dared us to a drag race using scooters and Tadshi had the idea to attach rockets to mine and I went flying.. I tell ya, man, Mole wouldn't live it down for a whole week after. He kept demanding a rematch, but I mean it was fair. He was using his butler to ride for him in his place."

Hiro could barely contain his laughter, "Wait… wait… you and Tadashi did all this?"

"Yeah."

"Why have I never heard of any of this before?"

"I don't know, but he's the whole reason why I got the mascot job in the first place. I knew I could never get into the school myself, but I thought we could hang out together more if I went. He's also the one that introduced me to everybody else."

"Then how did you two meet?"

"Oh at the grocery store."

Fred said this as if it was the most obvious of explanations but Hiro looked as confused as ever. So Fred continued on.

"He was there getting chewing gum and I was buying a shopping cart. Like an actual shopping cart."

"Why?"

"Yeah that's what he asked too. So I told him, 'I'm going to ride down Dead Man's Hill in one.' And he said, 'Dude, that's so rad. You're totally going to die.' And I said, 'Yeah, I know. You wanna join?' And he did. We rode all the way down from the top of Lumbar Street to the docks… and landed right in the bay. It was awesome! We screamed our heads off the whole time. It was so awesome, in fact, that we walked back to the store and bought another cart just to do it again. That was back when we were both still in high school, and we've been best buds ever since. You know… until…"

Hiro looked at Fred sadly. There so much about his brother that hadn't known about, hadn't even thought to ask. What else had Tadashi not shared with him? Probably a lot, I mean why tell your kid brother about your social life? And there's no way that he'd have brought those crazy stunts up around Aunt Cass.

"I never knew any of that… Those are some really cool stories. Thanks for sharing them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and you know, you don't have to drag me on some superheroing mission just to hang out and talk."

Fred looked guilty at that.

"I… I know… but it's like what you and Wasabi have been saying. Everyone else has something… something to motivate them, and y'all all do all these really cool things and I'm… I'm just me. I don't really have anything but superheroing. Unless you just need someone to make a mess."

"That's not true. Fred, you're great at a lot of things. You could go to school or get a job, if you wanted to. I just thought superheroing was all you wanted."

"Hiro, I can't even do laundry without messing up. I mean all you do is throw the clothes into a machine and push a button, and yet somehow I managed to screw even that up. All I know is comic books, and superheroing, and I'm not even the best at that! What would I even go to college for? I can't… I'm not a genius. I'm not a businessman. I'm not an accountant, or an artist, or an athlete. I'm not anything. I've no talent. I'm not even good at being rich. I've never fit in with the socialite crowd."

"Fred."

"Yeah?"

"You're good at being a friend, and if I have to sit here list off everything else you're good at then we'd be here for another three hours or more. So how about we head home and tomorrow I'll show you how to work a washing machine, and you can teach me how a stake-out is supposed to really go cause we're not getting anywhere here."

"Or are we?"

"What do you mean?"

Fred was no longer looking at Hiro but past him. He pointed to the window behind Hiro, and Hiro turned around to see for himself.

An elderly gentleman, dressed in an old fashioned military outfit, complete with a monocle, was entering the warehouse. He had a giant mechanical arm and a steam boiler strapped to his back.

"Baron Von Steamer."

---------------------------

Fred and Hiro found themselves standing in the alley peering through the warehouse's dirty windows for a second time that day. They saw Baron Von Steamer stomping around inside. He seemed irritated as he grumbled to himself and knocked boxes out of the way, as if searching for something.

"What's he doing?" Fred loudly whispered.

Just then Steamer found what he was looking for, a tea cup. He poured himself a cup out of a teapot he had placed on an old fashioned stove that was hidden towards the back and then sat down on top of a crate to sip his drink.

"It must be 'tea time' for him." Hiro said dryly.

Fred narrowed his eyes, "I bet he's just hatching his next nefarious scheme. Planning on how to take us and the city down. What do you think he wants with portals?"

Just then Steamer stood up and ruefully kicked away a busted up robot that had fallen out of a storage crate in his previous hunt for the tea cup.

"I don't think Steamer is our guy." Hiro said, "He hates modern technology, so why would he build ninja robots? Also, like you said, what would he want with portals? All he's after is your dad, and so far the Bosu hasn't gone after Boss Awesome yet."

"But they might. Remember what Roddy said? That Kensei guy used to be active during Dad's heyday but never got caught. What if, it's because Steamer had two villain identities!"

"That seems like a stretch."

"Okay, well, what if Steamer works for this Bosu? Like Sue and Sparkles?"

"That's more plausible, I guess."

Hiro turned to peer through the window again, but Streamer was gone.

'Wait, where did he go?'

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A pair of interlopers." A curt British voice came from behind them.

Steamer must have noticed them and snuck around the back, cutting them off.

Hiro grabbed his phone in order to call his super suit, but Von Steamer nabbed his hand and yanked him off the ground, causing him to lose hold of his phone.

Fred was just as unfortunate, as Steamer held him in a choke hold in his metal arm.

"Waaaait," Steamer said as he eyed them both up closely, peering at them through his oversized monocle, "I know you two. You're friends of Boss Awesome's baby child!"

"I am Boss Awesome's baby child!" Fred protested before Von Steamer gave him a hard squeeze with his cyborg arm. Fred wheezed in pain.

Hiro reacted quickly and kicked the steampunk baron in the shins.

Von Steamer howled in pain and dropped Hiro in surprise, though he managed to keep his grip on Fred. He also had stepped on Hiro's phone while nursing his injured leg.

Hiro ducked and ran as Steamer regained his senses and pulled out a brass gun that was connected to the boiler on his back with a hose. He pulled the trigger and scalding steam shot out. Hiro ducked again to avoid it.

As he ran out of the alley way he heard Steamer shouting after him, "Yes, run back to Boss Awesome little one. Tell his baby child I have their friend, and either he, or they, must show up to face me or else!"

Hiro spared a glace backwards and saw Baron Von Steamer dragging Fred back into the warehouse.

"Fred!"

"Hiro!" Fred called out to him before being pulled into the darkness.

Hiro panicked. What could he do? Finally, he decided that getting help was the best option. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him, fighting back his worry.

#Hiro Hamada #Fred Frederickson IV #big hero six #bh6 #tangled #varian #tadashi hamada

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ruffsraven-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Through the Odds | F.W. (The Hunger Games AU)

Based upon: The Harry Potter and The Hunger Games series

Pairing: Fred Weasley x OC (Autumn Rivers)

Era: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

POV: 1st person

WC: 1.6k

CHAPTER 2

“Hey, hey!” I snapped my fingers between his eyes. That's the only thing that I could do to keep him from plunging into a thought of nothingness.

“Right. Yeah. I'm sorry. Where were we?” he says, a trace of his previous screaming wounded his normal voice.

“About skinning the rabbit,” I say. “You could starve in hunger in no time. This place could be desolate to the untrained.”

It took seconds before his hand enclosed the knife and grasped the rabbit between his hands. I saw the wince in his eyes. Wherever he came from, the people there are not starving enough to kill creatures as much as rabbits.

I set up the snares, half-doubting if I could leave that boy alone in the camp without being killed. I decided he could.

I didn't even know his name. Maybe I was too cruel a while ago that I didn't handle his shock properly. His agonized scream and the way he was still holding that stick of his like it could save his life.

Wisps of smoke met me as I journeyed back to our camp. Perfectly-skinned rabbits are laid above the fire, their juices making the coals hiss.

I sprinted back to the camp and stomped my boots on the coal, digging it on my heels as it died down the soil. I placed the cooked—almost burned—food aside and turned to him.

“Best way to get killed. If you want to, don't count me in.”

He realized what I'm talking about and began to apologize. He might be ruminating now how it would be different if I'm not the one who found him. Not surly, harsh, or indifferent.

“This arena is lethal, I'm just reminding you.”

“I know.”

This icy conversation is turning way more awkward on a silent night. I should remember that he came out of nowhere. No knowledge of Panem or the Games. He's not to be blamed for unconsciously putting a snare against him—or us, if he could endure me as an ally.

Why am I keeping him alive anyway? He's now playing as a fellow tribute. An enemy. Something to weed out of my path.

“I'll get you water.”

I left and made a mental note to ask his name when I came back.

“Fred, I'll keep watch first. Here, take the sleeping bag and climb.” I tell him.

The sky was a deep black that signifies an evening of uncertainties. What all I had in mind is getting through with this until morning.

Fred settled on the branch lower where I'll keep watch, considering that his stature won't allow him on those fragile branches.

I positioned myself on a tree branch, watchful as my vision struggled to the dim.

Silence engulfed me like everything around me was lifeless, not even the rustle of leaves. So I strike up a conversation.

“I'm still clueless how possibly you end up here.”

He gave a hollow chuckle. “Neither do I. It's like falling in a dangerous portal of some sort. I would've asked you to shake me awake but everything's real enough to make me doubt.”

He paused for a moment, “Will I survive this?”

Words escaped me. I couldn't just tell him that he won't and I might be planning to get rid of him.

I pretend to be sleepy and yawn. “Just stay alive.”

“Want me to keep watch?” he asks. “I mean, I don't particularly know who to watch for but I'll inform you if something's off.”

“No,” I say. “I want you to keep talking. Just be quieter.”

He did. And I discovered that Panem was nothing like where he came from. At first, I thought we're nothing alike, not until he mentioned his brother. We exchanged conversations in hushed tones.

“I already miss home. It's not much of a thrill pranking people around but I'd like to tell them I've been here and seen worse.”

He tried to laugh or add humor in his voice. If a good laugh can help him cope up, who am I to ruin it?

“Speaking of worse,” I say, forcing a facetious tone. A silver parachute descended from where I sat and I grabbed it, knowing it came from the sponsors. Inside is a small can filled with ointment for burns and a letter from Haymitch. “Worse time to deliver this don't you think?”

Fred smiles and says, “You can use this to apply that.” He tapped that useless eyeglasses perched on his nose.

Taking my silence as confusion, he adds, “It lets you see in darkness. I've seen this in joke shops before. 'M glad this isn't a sham.”

“Why didn't you tell me earlier?” I laughed before snatching it from him. He's right. I can see perfectly like it's daylight.

“Dunno. I guess I'm scared because you could've eaten me alive earlier.”

“Sorry,” I say. “For how I acted. It's awful.”

“Don't mind it. I'm used to being scolded.”

We took turns using the night glasses and he continued talking while I dab generous amount of ointment across my burns. I let the coolness of night help the ointment seep through my skin. The ointment worked effectively that I couldn't help but think what convincing Haymitch did to give me this.

“I could've helped you heal those in a minute if I knew the right spell.”

Yes, magic spells. To levitate, yes. To conjure stuff, yes. To attack, very befitting. But to get us out of the arena? No. He told me he tried to apparate but the arena seems to condemn his magic.

He's still fiddling the wand between his fingers when I say, “Do you know how to perform a killing spell?”

“W-What?” His voice apprise horror like I've said something that could harm him.

The wand faltered from his hand and I found myself grasping for it in thin air with him. Too desperate. That wand could mean more than anything.

“I'll get it,” he says.

“No, let me do it. ”

He's still lacking stealth and strategy. The moment his feet touch the ground, every creature would stir.

I secure my foothold on the branch where he's sitting on, prepared for a jump until his huge hands locked around my ankles.

“Autumn, stop!” he hisses and put a finger over his lips. My instinct told me to twist away from him but the loud scream resonating below us thwarts my impulsive actions.

More screams. Fred pulled me to his level. Arms circled around me as if he knew I'd jump at any moment.

I first saw the dying ember near the bushes before the screaming figure right beside it. A tribute.

One of the Careers, Glimmer, shot her in the throat. Her screaming ceased and the canon fired.

As if from a trance, I jolt involuntarily. Fred's body tensed, his hands around me felt rigid and mechanic. With his eyes wide, tiny blinks interrupting, shock and fear overlapped. The dying tribute's bloody corpse mirrored in his eyes and having the night glasses allow me to see deeper in the silent agony he must be experiencing right now. Stable reasoning stalled my emotions before I could throw my hands around his neck and hold him there and never let go. He has my brother's eyes.

A beautiful shade of brown, the color of warm earth, and the pigment of woods. It reminds me of home. And I might've been underestimated how clear this stupid glasses can be.

“Pathetic. Her stupid voice's still ringing on my ears,” Glimmer says as the hovercraft lifted the corpse. The others start restoring the fire she left and make a camp below us. Fred's fingers gave a slight tremble against my shoulder.

“Fred, come on, we have to go,” I say, squeezing his cold hands to life. “Fred!”

He didn't protest and listen to the plan I fabricated when the tribute got killed in front of our eyes.

Wait till they're asleep. Retreat noiselessly. The other has to distract, the other to kill.

From the beginning, I know it's ridiculous. Fred doesn't know well enough to distract them nor he could kill them without being reluctant.

Forget the plan. Fred escapes, and I'll kill. If I'd be dead by morning, I want him to stay alive until some shred of hope materialized and he could go back to his brother.

He has to go. He doesn't belong here. Not in this murderous place.

“Your spear was right there.” He points down the slender thing leaning by the tree and adds, “Do you want me to get their weapons?”

“No,” I say. “Wouldn't let you risk it. Just descend quietly. Don't let them notice you. Go to the woods and conceal yourself. Whatever happens, don't let them see you. Whatever happens. Alright?”

“Yes.” He wraps the jacket around himself and says, “You'll follow suit, won't you? I'll wait for you, Autumn.”

“Of course.”

Faint sunlight edges around the arena and sleep is almost impossible. The Careers hadn't seen us and now's the chance to perform the plan. Fred braces himself in each tree trunk, gripping hard and avoiding any sort of noise. In no time, he's on the ground, finally found his wand, and scurrying away with a last glimpse of me as if to say goodbye.

I ascend higher till a whistling perked my ears. My gazed roam around, did I rouse the Careers? No, they're still dead asleep.

Then I saw her between the branches, body resting there with stealth as if the trees are her home and will always catch her whenever she hops.

Rue.

She points above my head, and the buzzing starts, one of the tracker jackers flies around the nest, crawls on the entrance and disappears. I signal Rue through a sawing motion. She nods and hops from tree to tree, fleeing.

Fred and Rue are safe.

I grabbed the knife Clove used in an attempt to attack me and began sawing.

***

Masterlist

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #harrypotterfanfiction #crossover #the hunger games #the hunger games fanfiction #crossover fanfiction

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daphnegeeksout · 6 years ago

Text

If You Were Here (2/9) [Tony Stark x Reader]

Read it on AO3

By: daphnethewriter

It’s hard to live this way… to only see someone through the other side of a screen. Tony stumbles across a computer bug that’s more than just a bug. You need his help, but first you need to win his trust. Hopefully you can do it before time runs out.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Words: 3,815 Chapters: 2/9 Language: English

Chapter 2

So, in his attempt to destroy it, Tony released the Cheshire into the rest of his system. Brilliant. And now it's making itself right at home. It's everywhere—the cameras, the PA system, the bots—wreaking subtle, but irritating, havoc. It watches him, tailoring its actions to his presence so it is all but undetectable for everyone but Tony.

Beyoncé blasts through the speakers in the background, as it does every time he's in the lab now. Tony stares at the holographic representation he created of the Cheshire's codebase. It's an approximation of what he trapped in the server, before it metastasized to the rest of the system. It's still… well… he wishes that he wrote it.

"Let's see what you're made of." He approaches the visualization to pick it into its components. Not that he knows where to start. The code is so intricately entwined, there's no easy access point to divide the functionality. He spins the visualization and enlarges part for easier access.

The hologram shimmers and reforms, taking a human shape. Tony takes a step back. He recognizes you from your pictures, from the security video, from the hospital. Now you stand in front of him, shimmering with the reflected light of the hologram, as if you were really in his lab, barefoot in a Nirvana concert tee and ripped jean shorts.

"Amazing." Tony circles the hologram. You turn with him, so he's always facing you. Your expression is subtly amused, so lifelike. The program must be using the input from the security cameras to judge his behavior and adjust the hologram in response. But for it to create appropriate visual cues… there is a reason he never gave his AIs a visual form. The amount of coding would be monumental.

Tony returns to his workbench, pulling up a set of diagnostics to run over the program. Now that it's staying in one place, he might be able to get a handle on it. The monitor remains unresponsive.

<It's rude to ignore me when I'm talking to you. I need your help.>

"What could you possibly need?" he asks, trying and failing to elicit a response from FRIDAY. "You're a bunch of code."

"So, you're a neural network." Of course it's a neural network. Groups all over the country were developing them. No one was close to anything like this, though. "Who made you? Caltech? Stanford?"

<No one made me.> Your voice contains a hint of impatience. <I'm a person, not a program.>

"So you say. Where are you based? How many servers do you need to run? They must have a massive cooling—"

<You've seen where I was based. I led you there.>

Tony's hands still over the keys. "The long-term care ward?"

"There was nothing there."

"The girl?"

<Woman,> you correct him. <And, yes. You think I chose this visualization at random?>

"That's not possible."

<Yeah, I get that it looks that way.>

"That's not—"

<Look. I just need your help. I need you to get me back in my body.>

Every alarm bell in Tony's head goes off. An AI looking for a physical form. An artificial consciousness too powerful, too intricate to be manmade. A chill runs up his spine. He hits the command to flush the system without responding.

The room goes dark and the music cuts out. Your hologram flickers from sight.

To Tony's dismay, the system flush doesn't keep you out for long. You come back whenever Tony purges you, faster each time, as if you're learning the passages through the security by heart. He tries new tactics: guard dog protocols and a firewall with shifting defenses (that accidentally blocks Netflix and sends an irritated Clint into Tony's lab). You're persistent.

You favor the hologram view now, making your presence felt more forcefully than you had before. Sometimes you plead with him, always coming back to the same topic, but mostly you sit on the periphery of the lab, monitoring him as he looks for new ways to eliminate your annoyance.

That's what you are: an annoyance. You don't do anything to outright jeopardize anything, but Tony feels the red herring. You can be a distraction. He knows you're capable of stealth—you managed to stay off his radar for weeks. You could be employing a similar tactic this time.

Most of the time, Tony ignores you, focusing instead on his work. Today he can't. Your holographic form lounges across the bench where he works, shorts and a crop top giving a generous view of your tattoos and a set of shiny dermal piercings along your ribcage that he had definitely not noticed when he saw you at the hospital. He stands to get away from you.

<You're just going to pretend I'm not here?> You reappear in front of him as he crosses to the suit.

He stops short, unable to suppress the reflex to keep from walking through you. "You're not here. You're not anything. And I'm getting sick of looking at you." He sidesteps you to reach the suit.

You reappear at his side, leaning against the shoulder of the suit, suddenly clad in nothing but lingerie. <You don't like looking at me?> you ask. You make a big show of looking yourself over, doing a spin for him. Tony… well, he can't really lie that it's appealing. The screwdriver slips from his hand. Normally, this would be all kinds of up his alley. Tony loves the assertive power play. And the lingerie isn't bad either. But you are a hologram of a woman who is lying comatose a hundred miles away. You're just there to manipulate him.

"Not my type." He turns away, abandoning the suit in favor of his workbench.

<What if I look like this?> The voice changes and a knife slices through Tony's heart. He doesn't want to look—he really doesn't—because he knows what he'll see. But he can't stop himself, so he turns. It's Pepper. Down to the last detail. From the tips of her stiletto heels to the hem of her perfectly pressed dress to the quirk of her lips to the stray wisp of hair that never stays in her ponytail. <You'd help me. Right, Tony?>

He swallows. "You're not real." The walls are suddenly much closer than they'd been before. There isn't enough air. Even if he goes, you'll follow him. You'll be waiting for him in his room or the kitchen, always there. It won't do any good, but he rises to leave anyway.

Blaire stands in the door to the lab, her hand raised to knock, a look of shock frozen on her face. Tony freezes too. Shit. She lowers her hand, eyes narrowing into discerning slits. [did I interrupt?] she signs.

Tony glares at your hologram. "Go away."

<Of course.> The Pepper Imposter smiles, hands on her waist. <Whatever you need, Mr. Stark.> You flicker out of view.

You little shit.

[you okay?] Blaire signs. [S-T-E-V-E is worried]

"Yeah, well, tell your boyfriend I'm fine."

[we haven't seen you in a while] Blaire comes further into the lab where normally she would stand on the edges. She isn't comfortable around Tony, never has been. It's not unusual for Tony to go for a few days without seeing anyone. It must have gotten really bad if Blaire noticed.

"Been busy."

Blaire hesitates, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. [did you make]—her fingers fidget over one another, a nervous tick as unconscious as a stutter—[girlfriend?]

Oh, fuck. Of course that's what it looked like. "No." The word comes out a little too fast, a little too sharp.

[S-T-E-V-E told me about P-E-P-P-E-R]

Oh man, Tony does not want to talk about this with Blaire. He can't handle the sympathetic look that crosses her face. It's… hell, it's a little like the look that Cap gives him sometimes. Maybe Rogers has been giving Blaire lessons on how to make Tony feel pathetic. "I'm fine."

[You broke your lab]

Boy, Blaire is chatty today. "It's none of your business," Tony snaps, then thinks better of it. He'll get an earful from Cap if he upsets his girlfriend. "FRIDAY has a bug. It's taking a while to work out."

[that why N-E-T-F-L-I-X broke?]

Tony rolls his eyes. These people. The security of their system is at stake and all they worry about is whether they can stream the new season of Kimmy Schmidt (apparently, Steve's new favorite). No, that's not fair. Tony hasn't told any of them about the breach. Mostly because if they knew…

"Did you have something you wanted?" he asks.

Her eyebrows pull together and, just like every time, Tony gets the feeling that she's looking through him. [S-A-M ordered pizza]

"Yeah, I'll be right there." It isn't a perfect solution, but at least the company will provide him with a much needed respite from you.

You wait until Tony is alone, which isn't until much later that night in his bedroom. Your hologram wears a tank top and pajama shorts, clothes you actually did wear when you were alive. Not that you're not alive, just that—things are confusing now. It's stupid, there's no reason for you to change the hologram's appearance, but you do, altering the clothing to suit the situation or your mood. It makes you feel… human. And when your brain pattern could be flattened down to a series of ones and zeros, that seems important.

<How was the pizza?> You try for light and breezy, an attempt to reclaim the good humor that you think will be most persuasive.

"Go away, Cheshire."

<I miss pizza.> you continue, flopping the hologram gracelessly onto the bed. <Were there anchovies? What about pineapple? Have you ever had them—>

"Stop it!" he snaps, throwing his phone at you. It soars through the hologram and shatters against the headboard behind. "Stop. You don't have favorite pizza toppings. You don't wear pajamas. You don't eat or sleep or breathe. Stop asking me to put you in that woman's body. I won't do it."

This wasn't the reaction that you expected. Apparently, the Pepper Potts gambit had been a bigger misfire than you thought. Far from gaining his sympathy, you've pushed him back completely in the opposite direction. You pause, only a few seconds to give Tony some space, but the waiting feels like eternity. This is your fate that he holds in his hands. <What can I do to convince you that I'm telling the truth?> This is the most important part, the part that you hadn't realized would be difficult: making Tony Stark believe you. <I'm a person, Tony. I had a life.>

"No, you—"

<I lived with my grandmother after I turned twelve.> You hadn't thought you could feel things, but apparently desperation isn't a feeling. It pulses through you, even without adrenaline to push it along, a demanding alarm in the back of your mind. <The first time I held hands was in fourth grade. Chris Chester. Behind the cafeteria trashcans.>

"That's not—"

<In middle school, I made out with my best friend's boyfriend when we played Spin the Bottle and she never spoke to me again.> Your voice through the speakers speeds up as you try to get all the words out before he flushes you from the system like he always does. <My first tattoo! It was a butterfly. I got it on my sixteenth birthday using a fake ID I bought with money I stole out of the cheer captain's locker.> Tony turns away to leave, but you place your image in front of him again. He stops short, as he always does, as if you were really there and, for a second, you have hope. <How could I make this up?> You ask, slowing your speech to normal. <What would be the point? I'm not a great person, Tony, but I am a person. You're the only one that can—>

"I can't!" he snaps. "Why don't you understand that? I can't help you because you're not real."

The pause this time is not intentional. Your mind whirs over itself, searching for anything that could persuade him. An eternity stretches in front of you, not quite existing, but not dead either. <What am I supposed to do?>

"I don't care."

Missions are a distraction. You've been quiet since Tony told you off, but that doesn't mean that you're gone. Until Tony figures out what you are and what you're really after, he can't waste time on stupid things like fascist dictators. Not when it means leaving you with unattended access to his equipment.

<Tony,> Rhodey warns over the com, <You have hostiles coming in hot.>

Hostiles. Real, live hostiles. The kind that shoot missiles and blow things up. Not the kind that send flirty text messages when Tony's in debriefings or who turn on the coffee maker whenever he needs a break. Not the kind with pleading, wide eyes.

A missile explodes next to him and he dodges just in time. Shit. It's lucky you haven't invaded the armor or Tony would be in real trouble. Just the memory of you is distracting enough without having to deal with you now. Whispering in his ear. Teasing, laughing. Hell, if it were actually you—not that Tony has a type, but you'd fit the bill anyway—that would be a different sort of distraction. But it's not. It's an approximation, at best. An illusion conjured to torture him with his own failures.

Tony whirls in the sky, avoiding two more missiles and crashing one of them into an enemy drone. The firework of pride is quickly shut down when he sees three more.

It's not like there is anything that he can do to help you anyway. Even if you are telling the truth, which—no, you can't be.

Tony zig zags between the incoming drones, barely skimming by, but crashing them into each other in the process.

How would he even get you into your body? It's not like there's a USB adaptor in your occipital lobe.

FRIDAY warns Tony of another attack coming from below. He rockets up and his pursuer chases him higher into the sky until Tony drops flares on it and sends it into a death spiral.

A single point of entry wouldn't work anyway. Brain activity is spread over the cerebral cortex; there isn't a clearly marked entrance and exit.

Tony blasts through a cloud to return to Rhodey's position. War Machine has three incoming hostiles, two hidden by a cloudbank. Tony targets the first one.

And even if there were a way to make the connection… there would be no guarantee that you would be compatible with—Why is he thinking about this? He isn't going to do it. There's nothing to do. He made up his mind. He'll figure out how to get rid of you for good and then he'll—

<Shit, Tony—> Rhodey's com cuts out. The second hostile had avoided crashing into the first, doubling the explosion. The shock rocks the sky and blows Tony backwards. He struggles to regain his orientation, firing his repulsors in an attempt to right himself in a world gone topsy-turvy

"Eyes on War Machine?" he demands of FRIDAY.

"Initiate emergency procedures."

Tony lets out a colorful string of curses. "Where is he?" He catches sight of Rhodey tumbling to the ground in an uncontrolled spiral. Too far for Tony to reach him. He tries anyway, rocketing toward the earth at a speed that's too high for him to pull out safely, much less with Rhodey's added weight. He needs to override the systems on the War Machine suit, but he doesn't have time—he isn't fast enough to—shit. He isn't that fast. You on the other hand…

He opens all the channels leading to the home system, ones that he kept firmly shut until now. Desperate times. "Cheshire!" he yells, still rocketing toward the ground.

Your telltale flicker flashes across the display on his helmet. <Already here.>

"Rhodey!"

Tony doesn't slow his flight, not trusting that you'll reach him in time. The repulsors on Rhodey's suit fire, at first randomly, then with more purpose. His fall slows, but not enough. Tony continues his headlong flight toward the ground.

<Tony, pull up. You won't have time.> you warn.

"Not until he's safe."

<Tony—>

"Not until he's safe."

You swear eloquently in his earpiece. War Machine's repulsors fire more urgently, finally catching the necessary angle to right him seconds before he would have crashed into the ground. He lands rough, but in relative safety. Tony pulls out of his descent in time to make his own not so graceful landing.

"Is he—?"

<He's good. He's fine.> You sound relieved, though you can't possibly be.

Tony checks for himself, releasing Rhodey from the armor. Rhodey's chest rises and falls with each breath. Tony slumps back, suddenly too heavy to hold himself up. "I need medical evac now," he says into the com to no one in particular, then lays back on the ground.

Bars have terrible security cameras. In fact, most everywhere has terrible security cameras. That is something that you've learned from your time trapped on the net. And since cameras are often your only window into the outside world, they're extremely important. The Avengers' compound is a blessed exception. There are cameras everywhere there—high quality with microphone equipment. You know everything that goes on in the Avengers' compound.

Which makes the fact that Tony has gone to an outside bar all the more frustrating. You only find him because he starts popping up on Instagram. God bless social media. People all over the world are constantly uploading surveillance data. It's the perfect crowd sourced way to stalk someone. But while it's great to help you find Tony, it's not so awesome at helping you keep track of how many drinks he's had. You're guessing that it's… a lot.

Tony tried to keep you out of the Ironman suit. And he was successful for a while. But there isn't a security system you can't find a hole in. It's not his fault. You see things differently. It's like a colorblind person trying to match an outfit. His electronic guard dogs are easily distracted. His walls have holes he doesn't even know about. Breaking into the suit was only a matter of time. But you didn't mess with it. Tony saves the world in that thing; it's not a toy.

So, when he opened it up, actually invited you in… that was… well, wow. You'd feel flattered, if you were capable of feeling anything. He doesn't trust you, per se. But you're in a weird middle ground of not-quite-friends. If you never really look at it, it can be both hostile and affectionate. Schrodinger's friendship.

You watch Tony put away two more glasses of whiskey in the background of a bachelorette party's Twitter video. Tony Stark can handle his liquor, that's not a question. The man could drink a distillery under the table. It's why he's drinking that bothers you. You saved Rhodey. He's battered, but he'll be okay. Yet Tony is taking the injury to heart.

And maybe it's somewhat your fault too. You've run him ragged trying to pester him into submission. He's sleep deprived, desperate, and (you're pretty sure) touch starved. He would have been more on the ball if it weren't for you.

When he stands, he sways.

You follow the lightning connections through the satellite feeds that form a web of phones, zipping between lines, stretched into infinity and back, and land in Tony's pocket. You like Tony's phone. It's posh. All the connections are smooth and clean. The tech responds to even your lightest touches. Some hardware is like swimming through a bog.

You monitor the passing connections through the Bluetooth array, keeping a light touch on where you are by pinging your anchor points in the Wi-Fi ether. Tony should have called a cab from the bar. It'll be easier than finding one on the street. Especially the way he's going.

You feel the familiar tingle of the Lotus, Tony's favorite car. Its system purrs to life, lighting up a new section of the grid and welcoming you back with open arms. Tony gets in the car.

That fucking idiot.

You race into the Lotus, spreading yourself across the speaker system. <You cannot drive home like this.>

"Go 'way, Chesh," he slurs. He misses the shift a few times as he tries to put the car in gear.

<You're drunk. Let me call you a cab.>

"I'm fine."

You activate the flashers and all the lights on the dash. <Tony. This is not safe.>

"Get out of my car!"

The trap comes out of nowhere, like vines tangling around you. Each time you cut through one, three more spring up. When the hell did Tony have time to make this? You're too busy trying to disentangle yourself from Tony's trap that you can't stop the car. He's driving. He's fucking drunk and he's driving.

You reestablish your connection to the speakers, but it's shaky, cutting out whenever the trap renews its assault. <Tony—stop— fuck—car—asshole>

You can feel the car zoom through traffic, going too fast, not staying in the lines. It's equipped with sensors for this exact purpose. It could practically drive itself and this asshole is—

Or… you could drive it.

You collect yourself, concentrating into the smallest form possible. The trap swarms you, trying to engulf you. You wait until it almost does, then explode outward. You shred the program and half of the Lotus's nonessential electrical fixtures. The speakers go out with a bang. Well, it's not like Tony was listening to you anyway.

You find the car's central control. God bless power brakes. You slam on them. Car horns blare through the Lotus's microphones. More importantly, there's the wumph of Tony's head hitting the steering wheel. Serves him right. You hope it breaks his nose.

You wait, letting the purr of the Lotus' system sooth you. No drunken cursing comes from the cab. No new traps spring. Good. It takes some practice to get a hold of the car's steering and engine—the mix of hardware and software tripping you up—but you find them and coax the car forward toward home.

Tag List:

@abovethesmokestacks @winterboobaerchen @netflixa @ganesh4679

If you would like to be added to (or removed from) the tag list, please let me know.

#tony stark #ironman #tony x reader #avengers #fanfiction #tony stark x reader #mcu #if you were here

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dukereviewsmovies · 5 years ago

Text

Duke Reviews: Fast Five

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We Continue Our Look At The Fast And Furious Series By Looking At The 5th Installment, Fast Five...

In This Movie, We Find Dom, Brian And Mia On The Run From DDS Agent Luke Hobbs (Played By Dwayne "You're Welcome" Johnson)...

And Police Officer Elena Neves (Played By Elsa "Wife Of Thor" Pataky) While Also Planning Another Heist This Time Against Corrupt Buisnessman, Hernan Reyes (Played By Joaquim De Almeida) But In Order To Pull This Off They're Going To Need The Help Of Some Old Friends...

So, Let's Talk About Fast Five To See If It's As Good As The Last Movie...

The Movie Starts Where The Last One Left Off With Brian (Played By Paul Walker) Mia (Played By Jordana Brewster) And Leo And Rico Driving Off To Rescue Dom (Played By Vin Diesel) From The Prison Bus To Lompoc...

After The Title Card We Get Some News Reports On Brian, Dom And Mia (Including One From Kent Shockneck And If You're Reading This We Love Ya, Kent) Before We Go To Rio...

No Offense But Why Do Movie Characters Always Go To Rio? They're Hiding Out There, The Incredible Hulk Hid Here, Bella And Edward Had Their Honeymoon, Max Bialystock And Leo Bloom Wanted To Hide Out Here..

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(Start At 0:46, End At 1:20)

Rio Looks Like A Beautiful City But Please Movie Writers Send Your Characters Somewhere Else I'm Tired Of Seeing Rio In Movies I Half Expect These Characters To Run Into One Another!...

Anyway, With Dom On The Run, Brian And Mia Go To Rio To See...

Vince...

Yep, Vince Is Still Alive After Nearly Dying At The Hands Of That Truck Driver In The Original Movie And He's Not Half Of The Pain In The Butt He Was In The First Movie Either, He Settled Down In Rio, Started A Family, He Has A Son...

They Ask If Dom's Arrived But Unfortunately He Hasn't And The Last Time Vince Heard From Him He Was In Ecuador A Few Weeks Ago. Having Dinner That Night, Vince Talks About How He Ended Up In Rio, Saying That After Brian Screwed Everything Up He Ended Up Drinking His Way Across South America And It Would Have Continued If Not For His Wife, Rosa...

Meanwhile, Mia Spends Her Time With Vince's Wife, Rosa Who Discovers That Mia Is Pregnant And That Neither Dom Nor Brian Know...

Talking With Both Brian And Mia, Vince Talks About A Job Coming Up That Despite Dom Not Being Here They Can Do Themselves Coulple High End Cars, Easy Targets And Someone Vince Knows Is Putting Together A Team To Swipe Them All They're Going To Need Is A Few More Willing Participants...

But Brian Isn't Sure But Vince Tells Him That With The Way The Car Scene Works In Rio They Can Unload Them Quick And Get Good Money And From His Point Of View Brian And Mia Could Use A Little Cash..

The Next Morning, Brian And Mia Are On-Board A Train Where Mia Is Looking At A Travel Guide Until They Get The Signal To Which They Digitally Copy The Conductor's Pass So They Can Create A Card To Open The Doors, Finding The Right Area, They Get The Covers Off As People Outside Weld Their Way In...

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(End At 5:24)

Once They Come Up For Air, Dom And Brian Are Taken By The Other Guys Who Work For Hernan Reyes Who Is Probably The Worst Bad Guy These Films Have Ever Had And That Includes Verone...

Look At Him, This Guy Doesn't Even Match Up To What Braga Was In The Last Movie!

Anyway, Reyes That If He Tells Them Where The Car Is He'll Let Them Go But Brian Saying That Reyes Is Full Of Crap Leads Reyes To Threaten To Come After Mia...

(Acting Like Liam Neeson) And I Will Kill Her...

Dom Gets Outs Out Of His Bonds Once Reyes Is Gone So He Can Continue Beating The Crap Out Of His Men While Brian...Kicks Them...Yay...Don't Quit Your Day Job, Brian...

Reuniting With Mia, She Wonders Where Vince Is Which Brian Says Is A Good Question But If That's Not All, Mia Has More Bad News, Everyone Is Blaming Them For The Death Of Some DEA Agents That Were On The Train, Which Means They're Now America's Most Wanted And They Got To Get Out Of There But Dom's Not Going Anywhere Yet Because Reyes Wanted This Car And He Wants To Find Out Why...

That Night, DDS Luke Hobbs Arrives In Rio And How Do I Describe Hobbs In This Movie? Well, To Put It In Musical Terms Consider Him The Javert To Dom's Valjean...

Talking With The Chief Of Police, Hobbs Tells Him That He Wants 2 Things ,1. He Needs A Translator For Which He Chooses Elena Neves And The Other Thing Is To Stay The Hell Out Of His Way...

Back At The Garage, Vince Returns With Both Brian And Dom Asking Where He's Been Turns Out There Are Guys Around The Favelas Asking About Them And He Couldn't Get Out Of There Without Leading Them Straight To Them However Brian's Not Buying It...

But That Night, Dom Sees Vince Going To Get A Microchip Out Of The Car Confirming Brian's Suspicions Of Vince's Involvement With Reyes...

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(Start At 0:19, End At 1:39)

Meanwhile, Hobbs Looks At The Train As Officer Elena Neves Arrives On The Scene, And How Do I Explain Her? Well, Consider Her Dom's Love Interest For This Movie And The Next Movie Anyway, Wondering Why Hobbs Wanted Her Turns Out The Reason Is Because He Thinks That She's Motivated And That She's The Only Officer That Can't Be Bought...

One Of Hobbs Men Comes To Him With Some Good News And Bad News, Good News Is They Found The Spots Where They Unloaded The Cars And The Bad News Is The Ground Rolls Into A Hard Pack And They Lost The Track But Reyes Points Out That Road Heads Toward The Favelas...

The Next Morning, They Look At The Chip And Discover That It's A Delivery Schedule And What's Better Each Shipment Is Worth $10 Million Dollars And What's Even Better Is 100 Million In Cash Houses..

Discovering That This Is Reyes Entire Network On A Chip, They Got Bigger Problems As Reyes Boys Come In For An Attack And What's Worse, Hobbs Isn't Too Far Behind...

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(End At 2:56)

Reuniting With Mia And Brian, Dom Thinks It's Best If They All Split Up, But Mia Doesn't Want That Telling Them The Truth That She's Pregnant...

With Brian Happy At The News, Dom Agrees From Now On They Stick Together...

Searching Where Dom Was, Reyes Thinks That Something Doesn't Add Up But Hobbs Just Sees Them As Names On A List That Need To Be Taken Down Asking If His Men Have Anything, One Of Them Mentions That The Vehicle Belongs To Reyes. To Neves Says That If Anything Illegal Is Happening In Rio Then Reyes Is Involved Which Gets Hobbs Interested In Him...

Hiding At Someplace, Brian Talks To Dom While Mia Is Sleeping About Their Father...

With Dom Asking About Brian's Father He Tells Him That He Doesn't Remember Anything About Him Because He Was Never There. Telling Dom They Need To Get Out, Dom Says He Has A Plan On How They're Going To Do It And It Involves Reyes Chip, They're Going To Use It To Steal All Of Reyes Money And Then Disappear But Brian Points Out That In Order To Do This They're Going To Need A Team...

To Start First, They're Going To Need A Chameleon, Someone To Blend In Anywhere And For That They Choose Han, Second, They're Going To Need A Fast Talker Someone Who Can Talk Their Way Out Of Anything And For That They Get Brian's Old Friend, Roman Pierce, 3rd, They're Also Going To Need Someone Good At Circuits, So, Brian Brings In Tej Who Lost His Horrible Afro!

4, They're Going To Need Guys That Can Punch Through Walls For Which They Bring In Leo And Rico For Some Reason? 5, They're Going To Need Someone Good At Utilities And Weapons, Basically Someone Who's Not Afraid To Get Into A Fight For Which They Bring In Giselle And Lastly They Need 2 Precision Drivers Guys That Never Lose For Which They Choose Themselves...

No Offense, Guys We Know You're Going To Be On The Team No Matter What But You Couldn't Pick 2 Other Precision Drivers To Back You Up Maybe Leon Or Suki, Perhaps?

With Tej And Roman Being The First Ones To Arrive, It's Funny As Hell These Guys Are So Good Together To The Point I Wouldn't Mind Seeing Them Get Their Own Spin-Off Movie...

With Giselle Being The Next To Arrive, She's Less Than Nice...

Don't Make Me Kill You Like I Did Maxwell Lord!

Leo And Rico Are The Next To Arrive And They Talk In Spanish...

And With Han Being The Last Looks Like The Gang's All Here As Dom, Brian And Mia Enter To Fill Them In...

With All Of Them In, Han Makes A Point In Saying That One Cash House Is Robbed The Rest Will Be Moved Into One Area...

So, What Do They Do? They Attack One Of The Houses Where They Tie Everyone Up, Take Off Their Masks And Burn The Cash This Time As...

Meanwhile Hobbs Boys Fix The Car And Discover That They Took The Microchip For It While Also Hearing About An Armed Robbery On Reyes Corporations To Which Neves Knows Immediately That It Was Dom...

Telling Reyes That Dom And His Crew Burned The Money, Reyes Wants All Of His Money Under Lock And Key Within The Hour...

With Each Member At A Location They Follow It To One Location, Police Headquarters...

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With The Mission Getting A Lot Harder, Dom Believes That This It Doesn't Change A Thing And They Should Stick To The Plan...

Meanwhile Hobbs Looks At Traffic Cams At The Time Of The Robbery And Zooms Into A 1970 Charger To See 2 People Wearing Ski Masks But Running It Through FRS To See That It's Dom...

That Night, Reyes Visits The Police Who Have His Money Under Lock And Key In A Safe, Asking About Dom And Brian They Say That They're Looking For Them But That's Not Apparently Enough As Reyes Decides To Place A Price On Their Heads So High That Every Eye In The City Will Be Looking For Them...

Back At Dom's HQ, Mia Shows Some Blueprints Of The Police Station She Got From Police HQ, But Unfortunately It Doesn't Say What Type Of Safe They're Using So, They Decide To Run A Stealth Mission To Find Out, Using Roman To Get Their Eyes In There...

With Tej Getting An RC Car With A Camera On It Out Of The Box That Roman Gave To The Police Officer That Kicked Him Out...

Seeing The Safe, Tej Knows Immediately That This One Is Going To Be Hard To Crack...

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Then Leo And Rico Go In And Place An Explosive In The Toilet Pipes, EW! So, They Can Go In And Drill Into The Wall So They Can Set Up Connections To The Cameras At Police HQ To Their Laptop...

The Cameras Apparently Have Marker Optics With 100 Degree Field Of View That Oscilates Every 10 Seconds Which Means They're Going To Need Really Fast Cars To Do This...

With Everyone Building A Track, Dom And Brian Go Out To Grab Some Cars By Checking Out The Street Racing Scene By Talking To A Racer Who Thinks That Dom's Car Is A Worthy Trophy For Anyone To Have In His Garage Which Leads Him To Challenge Dom For Pink Slips And That's The Last Mistake That S.O.B. Will Ever Make...

With Brian Running The Car On The Track, The Camera's They Have Set Up Unfortunately Spots Him, So, They Decide To Get Different Cars With Different Drivers...

But All Of Them Are Seen!

Of Course They're Seen! No Car Can Truly Be Invisible Unless That Car Is Being Driven By James Bond!

Anyway, Han Gets A Copy Of The Exact Same Safe That Is In Police Headquarters Which Tej Is Going To Work On Cracking However, They're Forgetting About One Thing, The Handprint Scanner, Yep They're Going To Need Reyes Handprint In Order To Get This To Work, So, They Use Giselle And Han To Get It...

While Monitoring Reyes, Han Asks Giselle About Her Military History While She Bring Up How He Used To Be A Smoker...

Yeah, Guys This Is Great And All But Now's Not A Good Time To Be Playing The Dating Game, You Guys Should Be Monitoring Rey.....es.....

Returning With The Print, Tej Only Has One Question....

Please Answer It!

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Thank You, Cher I Needed That...

While My Interest In Gal Gadot Blinded Me, The Entire Team Has Just Become Wanted Criminals By Hobbs As Brian Explains That He's The Guy The FBI Gets Whenever They Want Somebody...

With Han Asking Dom To Move Up Their Timeline, Dom Has An Idea Where They're All Confronted By Hobbs At A Street Race Where He Attempts To Arrest Them...

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(Start At 0:14, End At 2:01)

With Hobbs Walking Off, Dom Gains A Win As Tej Plants A Tracker On Their Van....

With Neves Going Home For The Night, She Finds Dom In Her House Just To Get Letty's Necklace Back

Yeah, I Agree With Mrs. Hemsworth Here, Why Bother Coming Back For A Lousy Necklace?

It's Worth It? No Offense But That's BULL! Nothing Is Worth Getting Arrested Not Even Getting Back A Necklace That Belonged To Someone You Lost!

Telling Dom That He Should Run Because Hobbs Will Eventually Find Him However She's More Interested On Why He Stays When He Should Run Which Leads Him To Ask Her The Same Question Which Leads Neves To Talk About Her Dead Husband...

Realizing Dom Didn't Kill The Men On The Train, She Asks If Letty Was Special To Him? Which Leads Him To Say That He Never Thought That Anyone Could Understand How Much...

Back At Dom's HQ, Everyone Continues Testing Cars That Just Keep On Failing Because (As Han Points Out) The Window Of Time Is Just Too Small And The Only Way They'll Ever Do It Is If Their Cars Are Invisible Which Is (As I Pointed Out Earlier) Impossible...

However, Dom Says He Knows Just Where To Get The Cars...

All Right, I'll Bite, Where, Dom?

They Drive To Police Headquarters To Swipe A Few Police Cars...

So, With Dom, Brian, Roman And Han In Police Cars They Decide To Do A Small Race With The Winner Getting An Extra Million...

With Roman In The Lead, Dom Eventually Takes Over That Lead With The Race Being Anyone's Game But It's Brian That Wins The Race, However It's Implied By Roman And Han That Dom Let Him Win...

The Next Morning, Mia Goes To The Market Only To Be Grabbed By Vince Who Says That Reyes Men Are Tracking Her...

Telling Brian And Dom About This, All Is Forgiven And Vince Becomes A Member Of The Team Again...

Preparing Dinner, The Other Members Talk About What They're Going To Do With Their Share Of Reyes Money, And They Also Find Out About Mia's Pregnancy...

Ok, Tej That Joke Was Good Enough For Giselle But Don't Push It On Mia...

Which Leads Dom To Make A Toast...

The Next Day, The Plan Is Set To Go Underway, With Everyone Taking Off Except For Dom, Brian, Mia And Vince Who Will Join Them In A Few However, Hobbs And His Team Arrive At Their HQ To Try To Arrest Them Which Leads To A Fight Between Hobbs And Dom...

And How Do I Describe This Scene? Well, Imagine If The Confrontation From Les Miserables Was A Fist Fight...

Sparring Hobb's Life, He Arrests Dom, Brian, Mia And Vince...

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(Watch Whole Video)

While Saving Hobbs And Neves, Vince Gets Badly Injured And Dies From His Wounds Making Him The Eponine Of This Movie, But Before He Does He Tells Dom That He Named His Son After Him...

With The Mission Still On, Everyone Thinks It's A Bad Idea And That The Best Option Is Running As It's Now A Suicide Mission And That They Tripled Their Detail At The Police Station But One Way Or Another, Dom Has No Intention Of Letting Reyes Get Away With This.

With Hobbs Siding By Dom, Because He Wants Revenge For The Death Of His Men Everyone Follows After That As They Ask What The Plan Is...

With The Cars Arriving At The Police Station, They Decide To Use The Element Of Surprise To Ram Their Way In...

With Hobbs And Neves Dealing With The Guards, Dom And Brian Grab The Safe Using Tow Cables To Pull It Right Out Of The Wall..

With Police Following Them, It's A Chase Through The City With The Safe Bouncing All Over The Place, I'm Surprised No One's Getting Flattened Like Wile E Coyote...

But I Will Say That They Do Do Some Interesting Driving Techniques While Hauling The Safe Like Using It To Crash 2 Police Cars, Dragging It Down An Alley With One Car Going Forward And The Other Driving Backwards

But Just As They're Surrounded By Cops Who Are Shooting At Them, Roman And Han Come To The Rescue In The Cop Cars They Stole...

With Them Reaching A Bridge, They Have Too Many Cops Behind Them, Dom Decides To Cut Brian Loose Stating That He's Going To Be A Father And That He Needs To Think About Mia And The Baby...

With Dom Pulling The Safe With All Of His Nos He Manages To Hit Car By Car With The Safe, Ejecting Out Of The Car When The Safe Hits One Of Reyes' Cars So That His Car Can Hit The Car With Reyes Inside.,.

But Surprisingly They're Still Alive, That Is Until Brian Shoots Reyes Main Man And Hobbs Kills Reyes...

Saying That They Can't Take The Safe With Them, Hobbs Is Willing To Let Them Have 24 Hours Before Their Car And Mouse Chase Continues...

Oh, Wait I Think I Know What Happens Next...

Hobbs Realizes That Dom's A Good Man, Which Forces Him To Question His Ideals To The Point Of Suicide, Right?

Well, There Are So Many Les Mis-isms In This Movie That I Wouldn't Be Surprised...

No, Hobbs Sadly Does Not Die (Otherwise How Would We Have A Spinoff In Theaters Now) No, Instead Turns Out The Safe Is Empty And They Have The Cash...

Well, Turns Out That When They Had A 10 Second Window They Had Giselle, Leo And Rico Switch The Safe With The Money With The Empty Safe They Had...

And So, With The Money In They're Hands (Once Tej Opens The Safe) They All Go Their Separate Ways, With Dom Giving Vince's Wife, Rosa A Cut Of The Money Along With A Note Saying See You Soon, Uncle Dom..

As For Everyone, Leo And Rico Play It Up In Monaco Where We Never See Them Again, Tej Opens Up A Legitimate Garage Buisness With Him And Roman Hanging Out Every Once In A While, Han Didn't Get Just The Money But Giselle As Well...

Eat Your Heart Out, Steve Trevor!

Yep, They're Dating And They're Headed Off To Berlin Until We See Them In The Next Movie But As For Dom, Brian And Mia They're Somewhere On A Beach (And Don't Ask Where Because Even I Don't Know) All I Can Say Is That Mia Is Glowing With Her Pregnancy, Dom Is Dating Neves To Which He Should Watch Out For Falling Thunder Gods With Hammers That Shoot Lightning And Brian Wants Another Shot At Beating Dom...

I Would Say This Ends Our Film But We Get A Mid Credit Scene Where Monica Fuentes (Played Again By Eva Mendes) Drops By Hobbs Office In Washington, As A Team Of Drivers Hijacked A Military Convoy But Hobbs Isn't Interested Unless It's Dom But With Fuentes Saying To Look Deeper, Hobbs Makes A Discovery...

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(Start At 1:00, End At 1:04)

And That's Fast Five And It's Okay...

While Not As Good As The Last Film, This One Has It's Moments The Story While Boring At The Beginning Catches Up Around The Middle Of It, The Characters Except For The Bad Guy Are Good, The Cars Weren't Very Impressive But At This Point They Were Changing Their Status Quo From Being A Series Of Street Racing Films To A Series Of Heist Films, Sort Of Like Oceans 11 With Cars But Still, It's A Film Worth A Watch And I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

#fast five #vin diseal #paul walker #jordana brewster #dwayne the rock johnson #tyrese gibson #ludacris #gal gadot

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