#she's finally letting herself be mad (understatement) about hypocrisy

[ooc-miqojak]

Fester

The sick fucking irony of it all -

"Don't do that."

"Avoid that one."

"He's nothing but trouble."

"You're going to get hurt." Those, and a hundred other warnings.

She'd known, hadn't she?

A kiss from a death knight.

A sensual touch from a man exiled from their fair city for heinous crimes.

A shadow-walker from a faction that still stood at odds with their people.

If you chase the darkness long enough... well, what had she expected to happen? Throwing caution to the wind, flouting authority, living in the pleasure of the moment, and nothing more - never once bothering to ask herself if she actually mattered to these people. They made promises. They said they cared. Why question it?

What a fool she'd been.

Had it been worth it? Was it worth it when the dead man hadn't even said goodbye, as he rode off into the sunset with his wife? Was it worth it when the man convicted of a thousand worse crimes than her had been forgiven all, but no one had ever cared to even ask why this young woman had so many self-destructive tendencies, herself? As they rushed to kiss every little minor wound the man had - that he'd obtained while causing far more problems for everyone around him than the blonde ever had. But the young woman in his thrall? The abused one, the one suffering a crippling addiction - lost, confused, and alone in the world... what about her pain?

Instead of a helping hand, she was written off in her pain. Left to die, in the literal sense, when all the others would gladly rush to the side of those who were despicable, foul creatures whose sole purpose was to harm, and corrupt everyone around them. They had an army of lovers willing to support them in their recovery, while she had been sneered at for similar struggles with drugs, and self-loathing.

The men around her? Each and every one of them had been so much darker than her - vile, really, when she'd learned the extent of what they'd done in their time - even now as the fel consumed her, she was sickened to think of some of the things she'd learned - but how many second chances did a woman get for making the mistake of trusting the wrong person? What was the crime in poor judgement, when you don't know your way in the world yet?

What had been her crime? Being young, and too naive to know better? Had she deserved to be used by these men, and tossed aside, just because she was young? A question she asked herself, now and then, because... she'd put herself in those situations, hadn't she?

But is there ever a reason to violate the youthful trust, and naivete of another? Especially someone caught in the throes of addiction, who can't make appropriate decisions for herself? Especially someone who idolizes you?

She didn't feel like laughing it all off, anymore.