#she works a lot! she’s usually out with the animals like 20 hours of the day easily

[broodygaming]

My dog loves stuffies haha. I’m having issue getting my ebt cash assistance card to work at ATMs so I was forced to purchase something and get cash back to be able to access my money so I got her a little treat and she’s been carrying it around whenever she’s inside haha. She’ll pick it up and then set it down next to her to sleep. I wish had a weather proof one she could have when she’s out with the animals.

Side note it’s been over 100 degrees here this week so yes my LGD is taking breaks inside with the AC cuz she works rly hard and deserves to cool off.

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

Bucktommy drunken confessions🤭🤭

Please pick up your boyfriend, Howie texts just after 2 a.m. 

Evan used his day off to help his brother-in-law assemble some furniture for Jee-Yun's new nursery – apparently, she’s outgrown her crib and is in dire need of some “big girl” room. For some reason, their DIY afternoon ended up turning into a boozy evening, and with Maddie on a shift and Howie obviously buzzed, it’s probably best to keep Evan from getting in his car. Luckily Jee-Yun is sleeping at Hen and Karen's tonight, because when Tommy arrives, her bed looks half-finished. The two men, on the other hand, look all the more done. 

Howie's hair is tousled as if Jee-Yun has driven her Barbie truck through it, but he’s tipsy at most – Tommy knows that man can drink. Evan, however… well. Evan presents a lot of his chest; his shirt is half unbuttoned like in a 70s porn – it’s a nasty comparison, but Tommy likes the view. 

“Here comes my boyfriend,” Evan croons, his cheeks flushed. 

A quick glance at the table confirms that the men have switched from beer to tequila. Tommy heaves a sigh. Evan’s not on shift tomorrow, but he’s also not used to Tequila, Tommy knows that from experience. He will have to stay with him tonight - which isn't a bad thing, of course, but there are better ways to spend your time than listen to your loved ones vomit.  

“Come on,” he says, ”I'll put you to bed.”

“Awesome, get ready for something!”

“Ew, I don't want to hear that,” Howie says, but Tommy just grins. “Don't worry, I don't think that's going to work today.”

“I don't want to hear that either!”

Tommy has a hard time getting Evan into the car and half expects him to fall asleep after he's forced him into the seatbelt. This man can sleep anywhere and in the most uncomfortable positions, and he always looks incredibly adorable. Even drunk, like now. But he doesn't fall asleep. He looks at Tommy with that amorous gaze he usually gives after other activities, and out of the blue, he goes, “Did you know that koalas are much lazier than sloths? They sleep almost 20 hours a day!”

Tommy threads his way into traffic, which is never really light even at night in L.A., replying, “No, Evan.”

“They eat eucalyptus...”

“I knew that,” Tommy interjects.

“Yeah of course, you’re clever,” he praises. “But koalas are the only mammals that can live off eucalyptus alone, it's poisonous to other animals.”

“Fascinating.”

It's not so much these random facts about koalas that he finds fascinating. It's just Evan, sitting there with that slightly glazed look on his face, completely relaxed. Knowing that he creates this relaxed atmosphere for this man, that he’s the one where he can be himself and let go… that’s a valuable treasure.

Evan goes on babbling for another fifteen minutes, including a dozen thank you’s for picking him up, and Tommy just enjoys his voice like a pleasant background noise. Every now and then he throws in something that always makes Evan's eyes light up. They’re almost to the loft when Evan says, “I love you,” in such a matter-of-fact tone, it makes Tommy almost wrench the steering wheel.

“That's lovely,” he answers, and he means it, but all he can think is tell me again when you're sober. Evan is too drunk to really understand what he has just said. It's something Tommy’s been dying to hear, something he was too afraid to say himself. 

They somehow make it into the elevator, but as they stand in front of Evan's door, Tommy has to unlock it. Evan trips over his own feet, he almost crashes into the door. Tommy just shakes his head. His back will regret it in the morning, but he shoulders Evan without further ado. His boyfriend squeals with delight, even when he puts him down on the couch - there's no way he'll make it up the stairs with the man on his shoulders, and the bathroom is down here anyway.

“Oh man, I'm d-dizzy,” Evan sighs.

“I'm sure you are. Lie down, I'll get you a blanket.”

Tommy wants to get up, but Evan holds him back.

“Wait,” he says, suddenly with as much seriousness as a drunk can muster, “you didn't say it back.”

“What?”

Tommy thought he’d already forgotten, but this is Evan, he should have known better.

“I said I love you, but you didn't say anything, so maybe you don't love me, that's fine, I guess,” Evan rambles. “Anyway, I'm glad I said it, because it's true.”

Tommy couldn't even resist those Bambi eyes if the man asked him to run into a burning building without any protection. It's unreasonable and irrational, but he's head over heels for Evan, and he knows it. And then, suddenly, there's nothing holding him back, even if he only says it because he can convince himself that his boyfriend will forget about it in a few hours. 

“I love you too, Evan.”

“Oh my God, really?”

Evan jumps up from the couch with a vigor as if he hadn't just said he was dizzy, and he sprints - not very elegantly - into the kitchen. He’s back in the blink of an eye, after pulling open a drawer and rummaging around in it. He pulls Tommy onto the couch, practically sits in his lap, looks at him with those doe eyes and says in a solemn tone, “Give me your hand.”

“Evan...”

“Give me your hand!”

Tommy’s learned early on that it's easier to give in to this whirlwind of a man, so he holds out his hand. Evan pushes something on Tommy's ring finger, having to do so three times before he finally hits. 

“What are you doing?”

Tommy squints at his hand. It looks like ... a keyring, without a key of course; Evan has a junk drawer in the kitchen where he keeps things like that. 

“It's a promise,” says Evan. “One d-day, Thomas Kinard, I will marry you. Just don't forget that!”

Tommy grabs the ring and replies dryly, “Don't worry, I won’t. It's so tight, I don't think I'll be able to get it off.”

“Got a ring cutter for that.”

He smirks, and Tommy can't help his lips to curl into a fond smile. He’s already aware of the ring cutter, even if he was surprised the first time he found it. 

“Main thing is for you to say you'll marry me,” Evan says with his Bambi eyes, “one day, with a real ring. In a sh... a tchu... well, a church.”

He looks like a man proud he got that one word out right, but at the same time, he looks as serious as a drunkard can be. It doesn’t seem like something he’ll actually have forgotten in a couple of hours, rather like it’s been on his heart for a long time. It's a big deal, and Tommy doesn't want to answer lightly just to appease him. His own heart has long been far from casual, concerning Evan. 

“But,” Evan continues, waving his arms, ”if it's really too tight for you, we'd better cut the thing open quickly. I’ve seen a guy, finger swollen as big as an eggplant, couldn’t get his wedding ring off his finger.”

He struggles to get up, but this time Tommy holds him back. 

“Leave it,” he says, looking at the ring. 

It’s just a simple, brass-colored keyring, but at the same time, it’s way more. As Evan had said: it was a promise. A promise did not necessarily have to come true, but it was still something to cling to. Something to look forward to. 

“Fine, we can do it tomorrow,” Evan slurs, just before he leans against Tommy - to fall asleep on his shoulder. 

“Let's do it tomorrow. Or maybe I'll keep it,” Tommy whispers into Evan's curls. 

[nostalgebraist]

Frank @nostalgebraist-autoresponder will permanently halt operation at 9 PM PST this Wednesday (May 31, 2023).

For context on why, see this post.

(tl;dr this project been a labor of love for me for years, it takes a ton of continual effort, and my heart's not in it anymore.)

----

The blog itself will stay up indefinitely, it just won't make any new posts or accept asks.

Most of the code, models, etc. are freely available right now. Insofar as they are now, they will continue to be. The change on May 31 is unrelated to this stuff.

I've made various interactive demos of these components over the years, and the demos will likely still work after the bot stops. But I won't do any tech support or maintenance on them, and I would actively recommend against using these as a way to "get Frank back."

----

I want to emphasize the following:

The best way for you to "send Frank off" over the next few weeks is to talk to her just like usual.

(And not too often, because she can only make 250 posts a day.)

This is true for a number of reasons, and can be viewed from a number of different angles:

(1)

While it can be fun to anthropomorphize Frank, she is structured very differently from a person, or even an animal.

She does not remember anything, even between two asks made on the same day. Every moment is a new one, with no relation to any other.

If you say "goodbye" or "you're going to be shut off" to her on May 30 2023, it's just as though you had said the same thing to her on some random day last year. She can't tell the difference.

She doesn't know these things are true or relevant now, and she can't possibly know in the way a human would. She's hearing the words for the first time, every time, and reacting in accordance with that.

Think of it like interacting with a baby, or someone with dementia. Every moment stands alone. If you strike a sad tone, they don't appreciate that it's about something. They just know that there is a sad tone, in the current experiential moment.

(2)

Frank mostly operates on a first-come, first-serve basis. She can only make 250 posts a day. There is a limited amount of time left.

Be conscientious about the way you're using up "slots" in this limited array of remaining Frank posts. Don't hog the ride.

(3)

I'm shutting down this bot in part because it's been a long-term, low-grade source of stress to me. I'd like the last weeks of the bot to be as low-stress as they can be.

When Frank gets an unusually large, or just unusual, form of user input over a period of time, I usually have to step in and do something in response.

(if there's way more input than usual and I don't do anything special, Frank will fill up most of her post limit quota before I even wake up, and then the asks will pile up further and further over the rest of the day.)

Maybe I have to delete a bunch of asks. Maybe I have to deploy some temporary change to her mood parameters to prevent the mood from getting too high or low and not coming back to baseline. Maybe I have to turn on "userlist mode," which still involves a cumbersome manual procedure.

Or, maybe I just have to do a lot more content moderation than usual.

"Usual," here, means reviewing and (mostly) approving something like 20 different hypothetical Frank posts per day, every day. If I go do something fun, and let myself forget about this task completely for 6 or 8 hours, there's a backlog waiting for me afterwards. During busy times, there's even more of this.

Just, like, help me chill out a bit, okay? Thanks.

[dokidokitsuna]

Beast Jacket | Glass Diamond

I drew this to celebrate that I FINALLY FINISHED THE FIRST DRAFT of the NeverFell Projects’ first installment. The script is 20 pages long, and I haven’t even added the design breaks yet…is this shaping up to be my first hour-long video…??

In any case, it’s still just a first draft, and it will definitely need some more work before I even start recording it. After I have a nice long break to reset the ol’ brain, of course. ^^

So these designs are successors to these two from before: Adam basically just went shopping for a more protective coat (which he wears on top of his previous outfit) and new shoes. Cinder, on the other hand, jumped into a totally new look as usual. ^^ I love that she’s the Barbie of the RWBY universe, and I’m more than happy to feed the stereotype by giving her lots of different designs~. 

This is my answer to her V7 outfit, where she loses the reds in her design as the ‘flame goes out’. Unlike the V7 outfit, however, this design's symbolism is intentional, as Cinder puts this on when she’s at her lowest point. I like to imagine she was meditating over the direction of her life while she crafted all that glass armor…

Anyway, speaking of direction-- just so I don’t forget (and as a small preview of what I’m working on~) here’s some things I hope to improve with my next draft of this proto-story:

1] Emphasizing reciprocity As in, Adam helps Cinder develop AND Cinder helps Adam develop; it’s supposed to be a two way street. Unfortunately, I think the tail end of the story kinda paints Adam as the ‘savior’ in this relationship…and his lingering superiority complex does not help. ^^;

It may be because he goes through a whole arc over the course of the story, while Cinder just starts hers in the last act, but I think if I just add a bit more introspection on Adam’s part, I can probably fix this. I mean, despite having a more stable sense of self that he can rely on, Adam is clearly the weaker half of this partnership-- he gets beaten up twice in a row while Cinder just keeps coming back stronger despite her suffering. Add to that the fact that Cinder can read him like a book and does so constantly, and there’s no reason Adam has to come off as her superior if I’m actually doing my job as a writer. ^^;;

2] Cinder’s turning point I’m afraid that she might have fallen into the classic writing pitfall of “having a bunch of bad things happen to her and then suddenly changing her mind”...y’know, without a clear line of reasoning that takes her from “this is painful but necessary” to “this isn’t okay anymore”. It’s the difference between a character simply running away from something scary (like any animal can do…) vs. actually developing as a person.

There is a final conversation at the end of the story that I was supposed to use to make this clear, but I think I got too caught up in making it ‘realistic’ and establishing Adam and Cinder’s future dynamic. Which was admittedly very fun, but at the same time there’s probably a reason why it feels like a lightweight conclusion to a heavyweight story, and I’ll have to correct that eventually. :T

[gt-ridel]

writer truth and dare game: 🍬🦋 and 🎨

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character As much as I love Uncle Ingo as a concept, If we're going directly off of the game, I don't think he really cares about us any more than the average hisuian rando. ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ) 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately I've been in a pretty poor state lately, so there's nothing from my heart I'd especially like to express just now. It's mostly gloomy. ╮(╯∀╰)╭ But one thing that I have been rotating in my noggin lately is starting a Patrion, since my teaching work has dropped off dramatically and I could seriously use the money. Unfortunately, I don't think that I have anything of value to offer. (:,з」∠) 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it LITERALLY impossible to choose. What a demented question! But here are a few artists whos work I admire! NOTE: I'm pretty sure none of these people fall into this category? But just in case, I shall reiterate. I do not care about fictional drama, or if someone creates art of kinks or whatever that I don't personally like/approve of. That is literally none of my business. As long as they are not drawing child porn or something, I don't want to see your callout post. BE TOLD. In no particular order: #1 @cloudy-dreams has such a soft and appealing art style. I could look at it for hours! Her art tastes like marshmallows, and you can't change my mind. She's one hundred percent of the reason I got into Welcome Home, even though I usually like to wait until projects like this are finished before investing my time into them. #2 @nosnexus has been consistently creating INCREDIBLE Dimension 20 fan art, which is what first drew me to their account. with vibrant colors and lots of attention to small detail, both in character and background, they are WELL worth checking out! #3 @grassyneptune draws THE most beautiful Half-life character portraits I've ever seen. I wish I could do line and color work like them. *dreamy sigh* #4 @critterbitter gives every character SO much expression in their movements, they even made a gosh darn lamp instantly recognizable as a sassy mean girl. I am forever surprised and terrified by the sheer volume of quality art they manage to create in such a seemingly short amount of time. Honorable Mentions: @fronomeeps has a deceptively simple style, but once again captures a lot of character in seemingly few lines. @choochooboss is not afraid to take on complex pieces with dynamic angles and detailed backgrounds. @waywardstation moves away from the traditional anime look in their PLA art, and instead injects a style completely their own. Are they a professional illustrator? I'm not sure. But they sure could be. There are SO many others. Honestly, I could go on and on and on. But I should probably wrap the post up. Hope these were more or less satisfactory answers!

[study-with-aura]

Tuesday, September 17, 2024

I missed posting yesterday, but I had a lot to get done. I volunteered at the library for two hours yesterday, so that took up my usual extra afternoon time. I'll be starting to volunteer for two hours every Monday since they started this particular volunteer program back up now. I enjoy doing it.The planning meeting on Sunday for Girl Scouts went wonderfully! We officially figured out the badges we would like to earn for the year:

Outdoor Art Expert

Democracy for Seniors (it's election year here)

Behind the Ballot

Adventure Camper

Outdoor Journey Project completion

Business Startup

My Cookie Network

Mission: Sisterhood Journey

Traveler

Voice for Animals

Social lnnovator

Business Etiquette

Savvy Saver

Digital Leadership

Game Visionary

Think Like an Engineer Journey

Sky

Outdoor Trail Adventure

Badges I will work on solo or with my friends in seniors on our own time:

Coding for Good (1-3)

Cybersecurity (1-3)

We have already determined that at some point, we will probably need to meet more than once a week, which if our schedules allow, my mom agreed to (she's one of the troop leaders). In all fairness, it gives us a chance to hang out and earn badges at the same time, so it's a win-win if we can make it happen. We'll still be missing a few badges before moving to Ambassador, but that's okay.

Then Saturday, the trip was incredible! It was a bit hot, but overall, we had an amazing time exploring the park! I even went fishing. I don't even fish with my dad and brother! Dad thought that was funny. It isn't my thing for sure, but I understand how it could be relaxing. Don't worry, all the fish we caught, we threw back into the lake. We also got to hike some beautiful yet quite steep at times trails. I was so tired when I got home that I didn't go in game at all. I finished up what I needed to with reading and language practice, showered, had dinner, and went to sleep (not all in that order).

Now that I have caught you all up with my weekend, I hope everyone has a wonderful week. It's almost autumn! My mom got me two new squishmallows! One is in a Halloween costume. She looks like a devil, but she's really dressed up like a vampire. You can see her little fangs. And the other is a squirrel! Aren't they adorable?

Tasks Completed:

Algebra 2 - Learned about special products of polynomials + practice

American Literature - Copied vocabulary terms + read about Herman Melville + read about Moby Dick + read about Moby Dick as a great American novel + read an analysis of the major characters + read about the themes, motifs, and symbols

Spanish 3 - Vocabulary test (20/20)

Bible 2 - Read 1 Kings 12

Early American History - Finished reading "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon by Johnathan Edwards + read about the Enlightenment + read "The Enlightenment in America" + answered discussion question + answered study guide question

Earth Science with Lab - Read about the rock cycle + completed rock cycle activity (15/15)

Music Appreciation - Listened to Beethoven's 5th Symphony + wrote a description of music using music terminology

Khan Academy - Completed US History Unit 2: Lesson 3.8

Duolingo - Studied for approximately 30 minutes (Spanish + French + Chinese) + completed daily quests

Piano - 60-minute piano lesson + practiced for two hours

Reading - Read pages 133-174 of Dark Room Etiquette by Robin Roe

Chores - Laundry + took trash and recycling out

Activities of the Day:

September Study (John 15: 1-2, Matthew 3:10, Galatians 5:22-23, Romans 5:5)

Personal Bible Study (1 Corinthians 2)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

[courtofmatchups]

Hi! Here's my half of our matchup exchange. Could I please get a romantic matchup for Tokyo Debunker and Twisted Wonderland?

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Straight

Age: 20

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

MBTI: INFJ-A

Ennegram: 5w6

Appearance: I'm 164cm (5'4") and have an average build (not too curvy but definitely not straight up and down). I have green eyes that everyone thinks are brown and curly/frizzy dark brown hair that is down to the middle of my back. I don't think I really have a specific aesthetic but I usually wear denim shorts or jeans, and a comfortable/stylish top. In winter, I tend to lean towards middle ages poet (including a corset belt) or dark academia outfits.

Personality: I'm pretty quiet in social settings but if someone talks to me first, I can keep a conversation going. I will occasionally go up to someone to initial a conversation but not very often. With people that I'm close with, I'm very open and sarcastic. I have a high sense of self worth but as part of that, I set very high standards for myself. I also usually meet those standards though. People say I have a good poker face/a scary glare but I've never seen it. People also say I look like someone who "knows what they're doing".

Likes/Hobbies: Reading, writing, anime, video games, and listening to music (musicals, pop, and rock typically but I have a pretty broad style). I want to be a fantasy writer and I am currently studying an English major at university.

Dislikes: Spiders (deathly afraid of those), being forgotten when I'm gone, and disappointing those who I care about. I'm also not too fond of really deep water.

What I look for in a partner: Someone honest and caring. Someone who treats me the way I deserve to be treated. I don't really have a preference on appearance; personality is far more important to me.

Hopefully I've put a good amount of useful information! I hope you have a lovely day and that life is treating you kindly! Thank you for suggesting an exchange!

~Eren

It seems to me you've captured the heart of...

Rui Mizuki!

Hear me out: your quiet and stoic nature might come off as mysterious at first, and Rui, being the extravert he is, would be curious about you, and start a conversation with you. He would be pleasantly surprised that you can hold a conversation. He would often go out of his way to invite you over to the Obscuary bar to have a chat/"date" for all intents and purposes. He'd hope you wouldn't have to dip after closing hours, since he wants to get to know you better. He will tell you this of course.

When you do get closer, he would absolutely love your snarky side. Also. YAP. ABOUT. YOUR. WRITING. Boy is a romantic at heart and would love to hear about your writing. He's a good listener (sometimes being a barista involves being an unpaid therapist of sorts), so if you need to get something off your chest he will be there to listen (I mean, if you work at a bar, you will inevitably hear people venting about their problems over a drink (not speaking from experience, but speculation)).

I do hope you aren't touch starved, because poor Rui won't be able to give you kisses or cuddles. RIP reaper's curse. If his curse does get lifted, I can only imagine how tightly he'd hug you, and how long he'd stay that way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You've also captured the heart of...

Lilia Vanrouge!

Enter another curious man. Just from a glance from afar he can see that you are a confident person, and since you're so stoic, he can't help but feel drawn to you. He's a nocturnal fae, so he's seen some pretty curious things by diurnal creature standards. He would also be pleasantly surprised to see you're a good conversationalist. He'd gladly introduce you to his found family once you get close enough to him. I hope you don't have sensitive ears because Sebek's gonna be yelling a lot.

Silver notices his father gets really happy after a conversation with you, and I can't say he blames him.

I suppose your writing wouldn't really be considered fantastical by Twisted Wonderland's standards, as magic is pretty ubiquitous there, but Lilia would be happy to give you tips on writing fae characters regardless. Lilia also loves anime very much and would love to yap about his favourites with you.

You don't need to worry too much about spiders, since Lilia can get them to a safer place for you, but he will tease you about it.

Overall, a happy relationship

----------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: finally out of writer's block, yey!

[invinciblerodent]

getting a little bit obsessed with my "cottagecore throuple" here, because the more I think about it, the more disgustingly perfect and idyllic the whole thing is to me.

like... post-game, I like to imagine Shadowheart absolutely thriving. She's a city girl with a deep love for animals, and spotty- to nil memories, most of which are of the worst things to have ever happened in a dank torture-basement: of course a sweet, picturesque forest cottage (so far I like to think that Petyr would call it "The Hovel", even though it's by all means a cozy, nice hunter's lodge) would have her downright giddy, and she deserves every ounce of that happiness ever.

As I imagine it, when not enthusiastically learning all there is to learn about the quasi-self-sustaining life (that she had dropped herself into by shacking up with a literal forest ranger), she spends as much time outside as possible: walks barefoot in the tall grass, stops to smell every flower (and even plants quite a few, just by the vegetables), and lays in the soft underbrush for hours at a time- enjoying the sunlight caressing her face, enjoying a nice novel (and/or a cuddle with Scratch, the cub, or her boyfriend once he sits down for a moment), or just gazing up at the moon and stars in silent worship. She makes friends with every animal that crosses her path, too: SO many potions of animal speaking are consumed, it's absurd. (She's best friends with the chickens. Petyr has to start farming acorn truffles in the basement for her, and that even proves actually very lucrative- in town, that shit sells for like 10-20 gold a pop.)

She'd of course bring home everything that'll let her. Little wildflower bouquets and stuff at first, but also every critter: from juvenile racoons just weaned from their mothers (they look almost like kittens! how cute!), to elderly foxes that just want to curl up in front of the fire and warm their bones somewhere safe for a moment. She's having the time of her goddamn life, she's learning a shitton of life skills she was never taught (finally learning things not meant to make her better at hurting people!), and generally enjoying a life that, while still plagued by remnants of the past (night terrors, perpetrator trauma, loss, grief, pains both suffered and inflicted, all that great stuff), has her feeling actually content with her lot in it.

And with all this, Petyr is... very business as usual, or at least he's trying to pretend that he is. Having someone in what was his space for like 20 years is strange initially, but if there's one thing he's used to, it's adapting. Making things work. (Plus, he's like, happy, or whatever. In love. You know, that sort of rot.)

Then again, he's also used to only having to feed himself with the very little he has, not another (especially another who is inexperienced at this type of thing, and a second another who just... drops by sometimes, always unannounced and unexpected, but never unwelcome), which deep down does have him a bit (a lot) more antsy about not just being the self-appointed guardian of her happiness, but also just... their general survival.

He's keenly aware that winters in the wild are never especially easy, not when you're so far removed from the safety of a community- especially not the way he's used to being alone, without even magic to keep you warm and safe. Usually, he spends most of the year primarily occupied by preparing for winter, and even like that, there have been lean years: years when he got snowed in for tendays, when he did something stupid and all the careful prep went down the shitter, years he had to go hungry and learn to make do with next to nothing.

So he compensates for- (and distracts himself from-) that anxiety by making extra sure that the pantry is stocked to bursting with all the goods there can be, and they often head out into the woods to hunt and forage together- although he's not a great (or even a good) teacher, Shadowheart (usually Shadow, often Heart, lately Jen or Jenny in affection) does make what he used to do out of sheer need, into something also done for fun.

Hunting and foraging are fun now, and soon, the cabinets are overflowing with jars and jars of dry mushrooms, so much homemade deer jerky, jams and jellies and pickles galore... there's mead fermenting, and homemade soap curing before it can be used, firewood stacked to the height of a person... herb bundles, garlic braids, grain corn, and drying peppers are strung up on the rafters like fragrant fairy lights.

Meanwhile, I imagine that Halsin comes and goes as he pleases- not entirely unlike a beloved stray cat. He just shows up one evening as if he had left not tendays, but only a few hours ago, kicks the duff or mud or snow off his boots, and leans his staff into its habitual nook by the door. He sets whatever it is that he brought this time in its appropriate place (be it otherwise unobtainable goods from town, or just a little gift, a treat to enjoy together), and he sinks into the worn-out armchair by the fireplace that was declared his the first time he stayed.

One of the others almost always then strolls by to settle wordlessly on his lap (if not both of them- that poor chair can barely take the combined weight), and just relax as his big, warm fingers slowly work through the knots and ties keeping their hair out of their faces, and, voice rumbling deep in his chest, he tells them all that has happened in Reithwin the past while.

The many smells of dinner and the comforting scent of pipe tobacco mingle with the fragrant herbs and the crackling fire then, and creates something that can only be described as the scent of home.

.............. and then all three just fuck absolute NASTY every day, in every configuration, and on every surface available for the next, oh, month or so.

[sunlitmiracle]

smashes my current interest together with my old interest (aka yet another "what Dungeon Meshi but Gamers?" AU)

Once when I was a child I had a complete crying meltdown over Creatures, because the manual insisted that the complicated AI of the Norns made them truly alive and 10-year-old me was freaked out at the idea of being solely responsible for making sure these real animals wouldn't die. The funny part was that this was the Playstation version of Creatures, which has no biochemistry and very basic AI compared to the PC/Mac games where players actually were debating whether or not it was true artificial life. A PSX manual gave me existential dread and it wasn't even telling the truth.

Anyway, kid!Marcille would also have a meltdown over the Creatures series, especially if she had the computer games and got to see how vastly different some breeds' lifespans are. Like in C2 where you have Norns that live for around 5 hours and Norns that live for 10, both of which are vastly more than Ettins who don't even live for 1.5 hours (and usually less due to radiation or starvation).

Lucky for her, having the computer version means she could download modified genomes made by other players that make creatures live longer or even outright remove certain death triggers. However I think she'd have more fun learning to read and edit the genomes herself, to get a better understanding of how the game works and how to change it to suit her own tastes. And because she could pretend she's one of the mysterious ancient Shee who created the Norns, Grendels, and Ettins and then vanished, leaving behind relics of their old society.

(Speaking of Grendels, she would unfortunately dislike them because they're the Designated Evil Species and she'd hate how they harass and attack her Norns. I think she'd also pity them though, because they get sick a lot and have short lifespans. Likely she'd just end up downloading/creating a genome without the aggression towards Norns. Ettins she'd like except for in C3 when they dismantle her meticulously-placed gadget setups, so she might mod out their hoarding compulsions too. Both of them would of course also live for however long her Norns would live.)

Also. While standard creatures' lifespans are counted in hours, if you modify the half-lives in the genome editor you can increase it to centuries. Or even just over a millennium if you set the half-lives to their max length (assuming you also leave the old age death trigger at its vanilla value).

and I like to think that elven Creatures players would pass around copies of what they consider a template genome that's appropriate to their own lifespans. Something that would make their creatures live for weeks or months of continuous play. I also like to think the Creatures DS Warp is still active in this AU because of the hilarious frustration when these long-lived Norns travel to worlds run by short-lived players whose Norns have vanilla lifespans, and vice versa.

(Most of the time in Creatures, offspring of parents with different lifespans will just have one or the other, but there's a chance the genes cross over right in the middle of the various age triggers and cause unstable aging rates. Like a Norn that goes through the childhood stages in hours but then has a very extended adulthood. Or a days-long childhood followed by suddenly dropping dead of old age once the vanilla adulthood genes kick in. Or, if the child has one parent's half-life decay rate and the other parent's age triggers, all sorts of odd things could happen. I once had hybrid Norns who lived for 20 hours and would die of organ failure before reaching the old age threshold!)

(Now that I think of it, Marcille would absolutely hate fast-agers. The first time she watches a creature hatch, turn old, and die in just one brief minute of life, she would be sobbing for days. One of the first things she'd learn to mod out would be mutations that cause the Ageing/Life chemical to decrease unusually fast.)

On a lighter note, while I don't know what her favorite designs would be I think she'd love choosing cute breeds to use in her world. Once she figured out how to give her creatures the comfortable life she wants them to have I can see her redirecting all her gene-editing efforts into changing color expressions. She might even learn to sprite or model her own custom designs.

[hairscare]

how tf were they plotting against you.. your life is the worlds worst sitcom and i am enthralled

okay this got a little long and self flattering and lowkey like i should be studied by a psych class but stay with me here. this is just how my weird ass mind processes things

for context this ask is about my job at spirit christmas. at spirit stores theres only one job listing for employees which is "sales associate" so basically the idea is they can justify making you do anything and paying everyone the same minimum wage rate no matter if one person is doing harder work. now at the halloween store i exclusively did cash register because i was REALLY GOOD AT IT (i got the top amount of donations for spirit of children and also sold the most individual items, i was also the second highest on getting emails by a gap of maybe 20) so everyone else in that stores status on floor or cash register was dependent on if i was there bc i always got register. if youve followed me long enough you know that im a self obsessed megalomaniac so of course all of this went to my head and i got very used to being top dog. but halloween ended and i transferred to the christmas store which was

1. a separate location than my store so i wasnt used to it

2. full of employees i didnt know and wasnt used to

3. was significantly larger than my store was, at least twice the size, probably more

and 4. sold stupid shit

so i wasnt super thrilled with it and was at a disadvantage. still, i was determined to become queen bee of this store as well, because, lets face it, i hate not being the best of the best and the envy of all. call me what you want but i love attention and being perfect. so i did my work setting up and lugged and unpacked boxes of bullshit. of course i was also getting paid minimum wage im disabled and im lazy so i only did what i felt like i could do and left the challenging stuff for other people

so the store finally opened and its my first day on register. also on register is this alt girl im gonna call trungle. im kind of like an animal in that you cant throw me into a strange new pen with another alt person and expect me to immediately be cool with them. i need time to figure them out, see if theyre cool or a freak, see if i should feel threatened by them or not. since i was already in a bad mood- the cinammon scented pine cones right in front of the register were NOT helping- i was inclined towards dislike immediately.

now trungle was friendly in that "i want to talk to you but im hesitating every time i try to start a conversation because im still weary of how i might come off as uncool or annoying" way. whatever, i get it. usually when im somewhere im comfortable in and talking to someone i dont mind i can deal with this pretty well bc i can make up for their confidence. but i was not pleased to be there and this person was pushing my buttons with her conversation starters so i was kind of standoffish.

now, something that really annoyed me is that she felt the need to give me lectures on how i should be doing everything. kept telling me what to do and what not to do as if the one day she worked the day before made her an expert. besides, a lot of it was exactly the same as spirit halloween when it came to the registers so i already knew a lot of it. i should mention she was also a sales associate so it wasnt even like she was an assistant manager or anything who i wouldve felt more inclined to listen to

but the real nail in the coffin was when spirit of children donations got brought up. so i guess that locations spirit halloween didnt reach its donation goal and the district manager turned manager of the christmas store was not happy about that (keep in mind, i was told this by trungle, who will prove to be dubious, so take all of this with a grain of salt) (i should also mention for flavor that the manager got into a huge fight with corporate on the first day the store was open and quit only to rehire herself a few hours later), so cashiers were supposed to strongarm donations out of people by saying "how much do you want to donate" instead of "would you like to round up or donate". however thats stupid and i dont feel right pressuring people to donate and also im already amazing at getting donations through my charming personality and rugged good looks so i said something like "well good thing im here not to brag or anything but was #1 in donations at my store so i can save this place".

when youre face to face with someone as delusional and cocky as me, the worst thing you can do is try to kindly and gently one up them. sadly for trungle, she chose to do just that and casually announce with 0 showmanship that she was also #1 in that store, and then asked me how much id raised. now keep in mind, like i mentioned earlier, my store was significantly smaller than this one and we got a LOT less sales because less people came to ours. once they were in of course they fell under my charms and bought a ton of things and donated to spirit of children. so i told her very confidently that id raised over $300 for spirit of children. she then retorts with a "oh, i raised over $500."

and that, dear reader, is when the hate, like embalming fluid, invaded my heart and filled my veins. the only thing that overpowers my pride in size is my capacity to be a hater. so when trungle nonchalantly threw out that volatile phrase which, with no context, makes me seem like a loser, war was declared.

for the rest of my shift i had to deal with her as fury boiled within me and she kept telling me how to do things. i was never indulgent to her conversation, and yet she never caught on that i was deeply unfriendly. for four hours i dealt with her, until finally her shift ended. after that alone i was planning on quitting, but the shift after that was better bc the girl i was working with was a coworker from my halloween store so i actually had a good time

and then came my third shift. i was already in a bad mood because traffic was really bad and id decided that after work i would send a quitting text on the basis of the commute alone. however, my bad fortune had not yet dissipated, and so trungle was going to be working the registers with me. this meant more uncomfortable attempts on her end to chit chat with me. whatever, i thought, its my last day, ill just avoid her as much as possible by tidying up in the impulse area in front of the registers when theres downtime

then we get to the last half an hour of my shift. shes still been telling me how to do shit which pissed me off but who cares after that shift i never had to see her again. still shes really annoying though. another thing i should mention is that i have auditory processing issues and with all of the sounds in the store i couldnt hear her well so a lot of it was her saying things i couldnt hear and then me saying a noncommittal affirmative in response. im running low on 5s and 1s in my cash register drawer but i didnt get the chance to tell anyone because i was busy with customers and also drawing yaoi on printer paper. listen yaoi was all that was getting me through the shift and also there was enough dollars left that i could still make change on like 1 or 2 more cash transactions

my boss from the halloween store who was now an assistant manager at the christmas store brought out a cart full of things that needed to be shelved and asked if one of us would do it. trungle didnt jump up to do it so i said i would, anything to get away from her. for the last half an hour of my shift i am not at the register, im out and about putting things around the store.

spirit is super paranoid about employees stealing, so at the end of your shift you have to empty you pockets and bags and also a manager has to count out your cash register to make sure you didnt steal any money. now at the old store they never even bothered to count my drawer because i was That Good, they werent even worried about me. at this store, though, i was not afforded that liberty, and as i approached the registers to clock out, i noticed a horde of people around my register, at least four people. trungle was amongst their ranks. the assistant manager who had given me the cart to work on called me over.

naturally, i was confused. honestly, i thought it had something to do with my drawings. maybe they were adverse to gay demon boys. but it was quickly revealed to me that the reason there were 3 managers around my cash register was that there were no 5s or 1s in the drawer. i was told rather sternly that if the register gets low, i HAVE to notify a manager to get change, because the register cannot be empty.

and listen, i get that. i already KNOW that. is been working on spirit registers for months by this point. i know when i need change and i know what to do. but there was a major glaring issue: when i left the register, it WASNT EMPTY. there were still 5s and 1s in that damn thing. so i told them that, and obviously they didnt believe me, so they reinstated that i cant let that happen and i need to tell a manager when i need change. i figure fuck it, my shift is over, todays my last day, im quitting after this, just nod along and clock out. whatever.

so the managers disperse and one of them takes my registers contents to the back to count. i go to the register to clock out. im already confused and pissed off that this stupid ass job has the nerve to scold me for something that i didnt even do after all of the work id put in the last four months.

but then trungle, fucking TRUNGLE, had the audacity to walk up to me- thats another thing, whenever she wanted to talk to me, shed leave her register and walk directly up to me, very weird- and reinstate to me "when you need change you need to tell a manager you cant let it run out."

if i wasnt angry before, i was now. there i was, at my weakest, like lucifer cast from that exalted position on heavens throne, and she had come to gloat. she had stood there amongst the managers as they repeatedly lectured me and then decided that they had not said it enough, or rather that SHE had not said it, and that therefore it had not been said enough, and so she had drilled it into me one last time.

im not sure if it was her fault. maybe for whatever reason she took a customer on that drawer, emptied the 5s and 1s, didnt get change from a manager, and then refused to own up to it and let me take the blame. i really dont know. and i really dont care. but for her to stand there and play little miss rulebook while i suffered was too far. so i glared at her with a look of pure loathing, and i barked an "Okay." at her before walking away to go put my apron and stupid fucking hat on the hangers and storm out without even waiting for my registers contents to be accounted for.

i have no idea what happened to that stupid money. what matters to me though is that they tried to say it was my fault and scolded me as a group when id literally never done anything wrong before, and then to top it all off trungle decided to jump in and give me one final self congratulatory kick in the stomach while i was down. so yes, i have in the wake of that night decided to believe there was some nefarious intent behind what happened, not even because i think thats probably true, but because with the way my life is, it might as well be. anyways moral of the story is im always right and im perfect and im gods gift to the earth ok bye

[your-anime-boyfriend]

Last wednesday I ended "Oshi no Ko" (2023) and I have A LOT to say... I LOVED IT.

I have to say I didn't expect an hour episode (no one did I think), but it's a great way to introduce this anime because the first episode is about Hoshino Ai, her life and what happened before everything. We got to meet her, we got to love her and we got to SUFFER.

I cried a river IN THE FIRST EPISODE... Well deserved the best score in MAL.

In the following episode we know what happened after Ai's Death. We have this new version of Aqua, which is horrible because he lost all hope, and we have Ruby, blinded by her brightful future.

Next up, we meet the new cast, and everything flows. Oshi no Ko shows how it works in the idols industry. They have to go where they don't want to because it's work, they have to do things they don't want because it's work, they have to be real, be fake, have a smile, don't smoke, don't drink, be happy, etc. It's really exhausting.

Every character has something relatable:

Arima Kana. She started as a genius kid in acting. She's really good, but she discovered that it doesn't matter how good you are, they drop you when there's a new star. Because of this, she overthinks a lot and she has a very mature point of view, that's why she goes for the best option to survive. She was that much in the entertainment industry for a reason. She also thinks she doesn't deserve nice things (as Taylor'd said), but she's very nice, really amazing in general.

There are a lot of Arima Kanas, it's really sad.

Kurokane Akane. Akane tried to be real in a show, she didn't shine because her personality isn't that brightful. When she had an accident with another actress people went for the throat. She was bullied almost 'til death, she tried to kill herself, but Aqua avoided that. People was SO MEAN, that she wanted to die. It's a relatable story, in East Asia countries it takes one story (verified or not) to destroy someone's career.

MEM. She wanted to be someone, but she couldn't due to her family. She had to support them, and when she was able to pursue her dreams, she was too old. Agencies don't usually go for trainees of more than 20. Finally, she got to debut with B Komachi. I'm so happy for her.

Aqua learned things tended to discover his father, so he knows who killed Ai. He enters the entertainment industry because this would help him in his plans.

Ruby wanted to be an idol, and she did. She's very optimistic, I guess it's because she didn't witness Ai's death. Ruby is the opposite of Aqua, she has dreams and she's hungry to fulfill them.

Hoshino Ai. She died too soon, but she's so relatable for me. She thought she could never love someone, she lied her fans everytime because she want them to be happy, she did her best always. She never lied to Aqua and Ruby, but it's so sad that she realised she loves them when she's dying. I think she died in a horrible way, but I think it's lovely to hear Ai saying "it's not a lie, I love you" to Ruby and Aqua.

And now, this has to end. BUT-

Let's talk about IDOL by YOASOBI... HOW CAN THEY MAKE SUCH A MASTERPIECE AND SLEEP LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED???

The music is brilliant, it is "sparkling", like a pop/idol song; the lyrics are amazing: the chorus is what everyone thinks "she's the most powerful Idol", there's a part like... distorted, with the bad opinions people who don't like her say, and we end with Ai's thoughts, she thought she could never fall in love with someone, and she did with her sons "this isn't a lie, I love you". I was devasteted when I read it.

My decision is...10 out 10! And well deserved, It went #1 in My Anime List after his first episode for a reason.

[kyurume]

i love you. (even if i lose you)

channel 3: the universe gave you a chance.

wc: 1.4k

warning(s): crying and stuff

back to masterlist - previous channel

"anndd.. perfect."

alice was over at your place. since it was a saturday. she was helping you figure out what type of hairdo you fit best.

"you look great!"

the smell of burning hair, and hairspray wafts in the room, the messy desk filled with all kinds of hairpins and hairbrushes, and that one can of hairspray you borrowed from your mom, almost ran out.

"can i take a picture? it's for my blog. i won't show your face, don't worry."

you give her your full consent for the picture. of course she has a blog. you can hear the snapping of her camera. then, after the chit-chatting about your hair, she asks this question.

"hey, do you happen to know what kind of girl soobin likes?"

you pause. but you continued.

"he.. likes girls who have lots in common with him."

you awkwardly smile, as she clasps her hands together excitedly.

"he likes anime and i like it too! seems like i do have a chance."

you wanted to sabotage her, but you know that karma exists. you question why the universe makes everything go badly for you. what did you deserve to be this badly treated by it?

alice seems to notice you're quite sad.

"are you okay, (yn)? are you exhausted by my love talk or my hairstyling because you had to stay still for an hour and 45 minutes?"

she giggles, grabbing your hand and allowing you to lay on the bed, despite her hardwork trying to make you look good. she sits beside you, and comforts you, like a mother.

"this is weird. but you make a good mom, you know?"

you joked, but that's how you really felt. your mother wasn't really present in your life, and she has no time for you. you had to learn how to live at a young age.

"oh, really? thanks. i'll invite you to me and soobin's wedding."

she pats my head, and goes on her phone to post the photos from earlier to her blog. you continued having her over at your place every weekend, giving her advice for winning soobin over. (that you usually use for yourself.) you have been getting along with her often. she reveals things to you like, she was raised in america but she's korean, how america was like, and all of that. then, the day came, where everything you worked so hard for, is all for nothing.

-

after school, alice was with you, you helped her pick out clothes, and look her best, for today, is when she confesses to him. your hands tremble, as you put her necklace on. she grabs your hand gently.

"i know you're nervous for me. don't worry, if he rejects me, let's have a girl's night out, okay?"

that's something alice shouldn't even worry about, since she has soobin in the bag. it took you years for him to actually open up to you, and it took only a few months for her to make him fall. the world isn't fair, you felt like a terrible person feeling this way, you almost cried. your chest hurt, your throat tightens.

"y-yeah."

you secured her necklace, and fluff her hair up, to make her hair look thick. your voice trembles, embarrassed, you head to the bathroom, for a bathroom break. you grip the sink, the metal bracelets on your hand making noises on the ceramic. alice knocks on the door, reminding you it was already 5:20 pm.

-

"do your best."

you hold her hands in yours, it was 6pm, you, and alice wanted to hang out at the park, for alice to confess to soobin. since beomgyu was still sick, he couldn't come with you. alice was sweating, and nervous. she looked gorgeous, and had her best makeup on. soobin was waiting near the park fountain, coincidentally, the park was empty at this time. all you could do is watch while she nervously fidgets with her skirt. that should be you, winning soobin over. you closed your eyes, and imagined yourself to be alice. but opened them again. these thoughts are wrong, and you should support her. you watch as soobin held her tight, hugging her. the thunder rumbles, as rain falls from the sky, the new couple runs in the rain to the coffee shop across the park, leaving you there. soobin's jacket was over the both of them. giggling, and smiling, as alice looks back at you behind the trees, holding up a thumbs up, as they run.

you look up at the sky, your clothes wet, as you just let it all out, your tears being washed away in the rain, the gray clouds hover above you, the cars passing by, as you slump down on the grass, bawling your eyes out, your hair wet, and your surroundings calm. you go on your phone, that was in your purse. thank god it was waterproof. alice sent a selfie of the both of them in the coffee shop.

you sob uncontrollably. you shake, as the wind coldly breezes by, your heart torn to pieces, like it's being mauled by a wild animal. everything, was never intended for you. this story, is not for you. it's for her, the main character of the world. the brightest girl. the loveliest person on earth. she was born for that sole purpose. you were nothing but some character in the crowd. the rain comforts you, your shirt probably being transparent at this point.

you wanted to disappear. all these emotions. your physical body. you wanted the ground to swallow you up. your socks in your shoes, now soiled and wet. you try and call a cab, but your battery's dead. you sigh, and get up, and run in the rain, to the nearest shelter, you imagined soobin right beside you, shielding you from the rain, giggling and laughing. you smile too. you felt and looked so crazy, but you couldn't care less. you stopped, as you felt a hand grip your wrist, the rain stops flowing, but the surroundings were still rainy, you turn around and see beomgyu, with a guilty face, and a fever patch on his forehead, bringing you into a hug.

"weren't you sick? go home, beomgyu."

you try and push him away, his dry clothes, wet because of you. he stares at you, looking hurt. he brings you into another hug, this time, you accept it.

you tremble, as he silently comforts you.

"i shouldn't be crying like this in front of you, i look like a tall child." my voice cracks.

my sunny facade, cracked away, as i continue speaking with a hoarse voice.

"is it so hard to ask for happiness?"

beomgyu folds the umbrella, leaving you at the stormy weather's mercy, he takes off his jacket, and covering the both of you with it, as he wraps his other arm around your waist, as you run in the rain, to the nearest bus stop. you waited under the roof of the bus stop, his jacket now soaked, and he squeezes the water out of his jacket, and puts it on his shoulder.

"i've been waiting to tell you this, (yn)."

".. what?"

he tucks a wet strand of hair on your face, to see it clearly..

"i like you. i've always liked you, ever since we met, but i had no chance over soobin."

"..."

"i know you're gonna reject me, since your heart is broken and you're not gonna trust love anymore, and all that but—"

"i'll try."

".. try what?"

you smiled, and held his hand gently, his cold fingers intertwined with your own.

"i'll try and fall for you. i'll give you the chance you need and deserve."

his eyes lit up, and the corners of his mouth lifted up into a smile.

"i'll try my best to win you over."

the bus arrives, the two of you still holding hands, into the safety of the bus. you and beomgyu sat next to eachother, you on the right, next to a window. beomgyu sneezed, as the rain and cold got to him and made him even more sick.

"oh, god. i guess i have to be—"

he turns over to you, fast asleep, on the window, he put his hand on your head, gently leaning your head on his shoulder, as he looks at the window, making sure you two stop at the bus stop near your home. the rain pitter-patters on the metal of the bus, the wheels splashing the puddles, the atmosphere peaceful and warm.

.

.

.

.

the universe gave you a chance.

masterlist

notes: LOLLLLLLL big L for (yn) but they got beomgyu tho so... w?

[svampira]

1 for elias but i m literally thinking about what if someone just locked him in a room with nothing to do. how would he even react to that LOLLLL

15 for your main ocs bc i want to know. (SORRY IF THTS ALOT)

ask game

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Omg what did Elias do to you why would you do this to him😖 though locking him in a room is marginally better than having him sit still. He will either sims idle animation (start stretching, doing push ups, singing to himself) or he'll pull out his phone to kill boredom by taking selfies, get mesmerised by his reflection, then stare at it for the next hour without blinking. I feel like w him being camarilla this actually happens very often (not him being locked in a room but more like. A lot of waiting) and he genuinely can't take it. If he has to speak to one of his superiors and he has to wait outside for more than 5 minutes he'll start wandering around, get lost, and force some elder with much better things to do to come fetch him.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Diamila > kourtney kardashian 100% they speak the exact same way. She tries to tone her valley girl accent down for important meetings but fails miserably all the time. She speaks very slowly and drags her vowels out > literally very otherwise menacing monologues dragged down by the trisha paytas mh at the end of every word. Apart from that she definitely rehearses everything she says first, 100% walking back and forth repeating her speech to herself outloud in the empty camarilla bathrooms, literally has Elias workshop jabs, speeches and threats with her at home. She's ventrue goofy in a way other people very much can see. The only reason no one makes fun of her to her face is that she's the ventrue whip and everyone knows she probably has a higher vampire bodycount than the entire SI (vtmb fledgling + working as a scourge/hound for 20 years)

Brooklyn > Sza 100%. Not only because i think her voice is super hot and I associate kill bill with brooklyn but also because of the insane pathological lying. They would both lie about being marine biologists. She's eloquent and borderline poetic when she speaks, smiles a lot, will say the most fucked up violent shit while beaming and giggling cutely 💯 does naut think before speaking but the times she does is when she's about to say something truly unhinged

Elias > my voice claim for him literally a fucking rpdr winner😭 sasha velour. They have such a nice voice and it fits Elias super well i love how deep it is while not being ooc for him and i ❤️❤️❤️ vocal fries they're so cute > here's what I'm talking about . Elias also speaks slowly while dragging his vowels ouuuuut, he does naut ever think for more than a split second before opening his mouth. Despite this, he's very very good at talking, could convince anyone to do almost anything while making them think it's still their own idea. Definitely intersperses his sentences with "like" a lot.

Eden > Welket Bungué. Why shouldn't he speak with a portuguese accent. Mainly because I decided on Eden's design after seeing him in crimes of the future and though I've never really referenced him while drawing him i can and will steal his voice. Deep and warm voice, unlike my other ocs he is NICE he speaks to spread positivity and kindness peace and love🙏 he's also an anarch figure head so he might spur people on to do incredible violence but thats normal camarilla are doing worse. Was naut born in the us but moved there as a teen

[phantasmalnightmare]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name — Calamity or Phantasma.

pronouns — She/her.

preferred comms — Discord or Tumblr IMs. Either is fine. I'm a shy bean, so I'm not good at messaging people in ooc really, but it's not that I don't like you or anything! Just me being awkward as hell.

name of muse — I have a few, but I'd say the main ones I use are Gundham, Junko, Bakugo, Mikey, and Fubuki. I use Benedikta a lot on a different account.

experience in RP — Since 2003, so it's been 20 freaking years now of on and off RP life. Feeling old now. I started on xanga as Bankotsu from Inuyasha. It was a lawless RP land back then. Everyone god modded and one lined, but it was a grand time. My Bankotsu got so many of those sacred jewel shards.

best experiences — I have many. The first days of RP were certainly some of them. I actually met quite a few people from RP in RL. I would say the best of the best was when I met a group of Danganranpa RPers on anirp, and we did different story-lines all together. The one guy made up stories and events for the characters. I was Gundham. We also did the despair storyline which I think was my favorite, because I was able to do despair Gundham and made such a great backstory and I got so many compliments from the group on how I portrayed him(I guess he was pretty similar to the joker according to some.) I got my own event where i tried to kill all the other remnants with my animal army. We also did a really fun persona storyline. I got to be the fem p3 protag and had a love triangle with Shinji and Akihiko. ;) There was some drama with the group, and the leader talked a lot of crap cause I was busy and missed a lot of events though, so I ended up leaving.

pet peeves / dealbreakers — My number one is the one thing I will block you for: If you ask for a starter and then never reply. I have very little time to write and I can't stand people wasting my time. Another is drama of course. I come to RP as an escape, not for more stress. It also annoys me if someone posts a starter call and I like it, but get ignored. Why did you follow me back if you don't want to RP?

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — Fluff and angst are by far my two favorite genres. I love the corny, romantic slow burn more than anything. Romance is dead irl and I need some kind of fantasy outlet since I'm a hopeless romantic. I also just love angst cause it causes conflict and helps the characters develop, and I just live for the drama. Besides, after the hurt, comes the comfort. My other favorite genre is dark. I love writing dark things. Junko is a good outlet for that, and I'd love to write despair Gundham sometimes. Also Dark Mikey. Smut, I'm pretty good at writing it, but I need a solid storyline and a slow burn romance that leads up to it. Except maybe for Junko.

plot or memes — I honestly usually just wing stuff haha. I've posted memes but people generally don't send them to start new storylines with me. Since I'm shy, I don't typically approach people to try and plot either v.v But both are great when they happen.

long or short replies — I prefer stuff typically on the longer side(If you can't tell by my blog). I would say my typical replies are 3 paragraphs or so, but I can go longer. I really like to flesh out my muses and their thoughts. I don't expect people to keep up though.

best time to write — Weekends by far. Lately I haven't had time to do anything on my weekdays. Work has been crazy busy so I haven't been able to use the work computer for replies. I work two jobs and commute over 2 hours everyday, (and go to the gym 3 days a week), so I just don't have much time for anything during the week.

are you like your muse — I typically do characters that are vastly different from myself, because I feel like that's the most fun for me. Some similarities though:

I love animals(I'm a vet assistant), and I typically dress goth/alt like Gundham

I tend to be impulsive like Mikey

I'm quite air headed, ditzy, and naive like Fubuki(Not to that extreme at least, but a little bit.)

I tend to be logical, cold, and distant like Makoto. I'm also terrible at asking for help, feeling I have to be the rock and do everything myself. I have to always be strong for everyone else, and never show any weakness.

I have a really rough past full of abuse like Benedikta, and am always fighting an internal darkness.

Tagged by: @more-than-a-princess(Thank you!) Tagging: @nuravity and you reading this right now.

[vaultsixtynine]

🛌 - do they have a morning routine? what is it?

haha hi john

ask meme!

zari sleeps. badly. she is bad at it. it takes her forever to settle down enough to sleep no matter how tired she is, and if she can't get it right after about one-two hours of trying she'll get back up again and read or work on whatever she's working on - if it's dark out she'll just start roaming assuming she feels comfortable enough in her environment, as she feels safer at night and when less Other People are up and about.

when she actually manages to get to sleep, she is often restless and doesn't actually dream all that often (she usually has just one repeating dream over and over again unless - as you know - Plot Events are happening by way of raven king), just wakes up sporadically either actively undergoing sleep paralysis (one of the things she hates THEE absolute most!), feeling like she can't breathe and thrashing up out of whatever bedding she's in, or in an entirely different spot from where she went to sleep (chronic sleepwalker), disoriented and paranoid. she tries to keep herself from sleepwalking, so sometimes she locks herself in or physically ties herself to her sleeping place.

that said! she does NEED sleep just like anyone else, so this is unideal. most mornings she is. grumpy. she tends to give herself at least fifteen-20 minutes Alone to get rid of this grumpiness, usually by brushing her hair (somewhat haphazardly; she has a lot of it and has never learned 'proper' haircare but is too anal to leave it to get too wild) and washing her face/teeth and prestidigitating her clothes clean of any dirt or stains to present as Put Together of an appearance as she can to the public. eating is a very tertiary concern and she often won't think of it (assuming she's alone/not around other people who eat in the morning) until she's ravenously hungry in late morning/early lunch hours. if she still has time before her self-appointed tasks for the day - or is still grumpy - she'll sit and read through some favorite passages from various books or pick a random bird/animal outside to quickly sketch until she's as close to sanguine as she's gonna get.

[cor-ardens-archive]

Hi. I read your post about sleep getting better for you. I'm very happy for you btw. I've always struggled with sleeping too. I was able to temporarily move out of family home environment last year that held a lot of trauma for me, and noticed my sleeping *eventually* got a bit better, but then I had to move back home. I experience a lot of nightmares, and feeling 'afraid' to sleep because of this, but also stay up partially because I want to limit contact with my mother. I know this question is a lot. I do see a psych, but she hasn't been very helpful when it comes to the nightmares (or much in general really) lol. So I'm aware finding a better psych could be a good thing, but I've also had a lot of negative experiences, and as I'm in a sensitive place right now I don't know if I feel comfortable opening up to someone else at this time. In summary, do you have any tips at all on healing? (while your in an environment that caused a lot of trauma) or healing sleep? I know this is probably an annoying question (sorry for writing so much) I just wondered if there's anything outside of therapy you would recommend? Don't have to answer by the way, just thought I'd ask. Thanks, and I'm very happy things have improved for you a bit. <3

You don't have to be sorry about this message, I actually appreciate it a lot! I'm so sorry that you struggle with sleep too, it's something that has a huge impact on one's well being.

I'm not sure how helpful I can be, but I can share what I've done that has helped me. Keep in mind that this was a long journey (well, it's still ongoing), and it took a long time to start seeing meaningful results. It was also extremely difficult, and there were many times when I would fall back on habits that did not help me. But I kept trying, and now I can definitely see how much I've improved. :)

The regular advices are good and can help. By this I mean the usual "sleeping hygiene" tips: trying to maintain a consistent sleeping routine and wake up time, dimming the lights some time before bed, staying away from computers and phones an hour before bed, avoiding caffeine at night, etc. On their own, they won't heal your wounds, but they do help your body to relax.

I did everything in my power to make my room feel safe to me. This meant locking my door, praying before bed, doing my little rituals, etc. You can't make yourself suddenly feel safe in an unsafe environment, but if you have your own bedroom then you can try to slowly turn it into a place that feels yours. I won't pretend this is easy or even always possible, but it's something that worked for me, and it's probably my number one advice if it's at all possible for you. Do whatever makes you feel safe, even if you find it a little embarrassing (like sleeping with a beloved stuffed animal, for example).

Exercise during the day, if you can! I can't always exercise because of fatigue, but when I do it's very helpful, and keeps me from being too alert at night. I basically tire myself out so I won't wake up every 20 minutes at night.

Don't punish yourself when you can't sleep. If you're too anxious and/or afraid, you can get up, get a glass of water, read a book... do something relaxing that you enjoy, don't force yourself to stay in bed tossing and turning. Knowing I could decide to not sleep was helpful. I'm in control of my decisions, and if I'm struggling then I can get up and do something else. No one is going to force me to stay, least of all myself. I'll sleep when I feel ready, and if I have to wait for sunrise then so be it. Having this assurance helps me feel safer to sleep at night, because it's not an obligation, it's a personal choice.

I hesitate to recommend this because it's personal, and probably doesn't work for everyone, but discussing things openly with myself really helped. Like writing down or saying aloud why I feel unsafe, and what that means to me. Recognizing and accepting the problems I could face at night, such as nightmares, insomnia, sleep paralysis -- just listing down everything that could go wrong, and kind of preparing for them. I think this could make some people more anxious, but it worked for me. I can't exactly recommend it to you without knowing how it'll affect you, but it's something I did. I would think about all the things I feared would happen and which could happen, and I wrote down what they would feel like, and what the consequences would be -- always knowing that in the end I would wake up, the sun would rise, it would be another day no matter what, and simply making myself feel prepared for them. Knowing your fears and preparing yourself against them can sometimes help. For some people, I think it can have the opposite effect.

Also, I would tell myself what I was afraid of but that I rationally knew couldn't happen. I recognized why I was afraid of them but reminded myself those fears didn't reflect my current reality. I could prepare for them in different ways, by making myself ready to face the things I mentioned in point 5.

I think that's it... I'm sorry I can't help you more. This is what worked for me, but it worked slowly! And it's not like I don't have any problems sleeping now, but I do feel infinitely better. And of course I do recommend finding someone you can trust to help you through this process. Unfortunately, my psychiatrist didn't really help me either. However, I did find some people along the way. Also, Nancy from A Nightmare on Elm Street.