#she was the therapist bestie

[garlicbreadish]

i need to say that lily was everyone's comfort place. she wanted to make everyone feel loved and she was always there for everyone. she didn't hate anyone or anything. her energy was pure, loveable, trustable and comfortable. people would tell her their secrets because she was trustworthy. and she was never proud of this or acted like a show-off instead she was glad to help people this way.

[faaun]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

[kindahoping4forever]

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[shallowrambles]

Look, I know Lisa’s behavior re: letting Dean, someone she hasn’t seen in nearly a decade, skulk around her child’s birthday party is best explained by him being The baby-daddy.

But here’s the rub: (1) the angels didn’t even sniff towards Ben and (2) Lisa is (relatively) honest. During the year Dean was actively with her, she would have likely told him. (Cause it’s no small thing.) Especially under The Truth curse where she ranted about the loss of loved ones/hunting. (My take: It’s a cheeky…red herring. Ben was hungry for a father-figure, and Dean’s relationship to him parallels Bobby Singer.)

So while it is a truth that would be kinder to Lisa’s behavioral health/motivations/etc, the latter plot points don’t support it. Yeah, I agree that it actually makes better sense as an initial explanation for her behavior in her intro ep. But these latter points transform her behavior’s root cause, leaning towards her as a (possibly chronic?) caretaker type of person.

We do see that she is caring! She’s got a caretaker persona from her first ep, driving her to help her neighbor. She’s a good friend! Because of the later plot points, we can assume this caretaker/gratitude aspect of her character is more the driver of her actions than hiding a paternity.

[meezer]

you can save so much money on therapy by just not going

[ratcandy]

I NEED TO GET DIAGNOSED! (violent explosion sounds and terrified screaming follows shortly after my proclamation of suffering

[trans-axolotl]

had a therapy appointment for the first time in a couple months and i think one of the reasons i like my current therapist so much is that she's completely fine with me taking breaks and not replying to her emails and ignoring her for a couple months and then coming back and she never makes me feel judged and just asks what kind of support i want. also she reads a lot of disability studies stuff and supports my antipsych organizing 👍

[sage-nebula]

I had my first therapy appointment in years today, and it was with my og therapist who I thought either ghosted me or died (turns out neither was true). It was so, so good to talk to her again and I'm looking forward to working on the stack of issues I have. But one goal I mentioned was I want to learn how to someday be content with the fact that there is something inherent about me that, while at first people might like me, inevitably people end up seeing me as annoying / hostile / aggressive / bad-tempered / awful / a monster even when I am calm emotionally and decide (within their rights) that they don't want to be around me anymore and the friendship ends. Like clearly there is something wrong with me, but I don't know how to fix it when it happens even when I feel that we're having a normal conversation, and it has happened enough times with enough people that clearly I'M the problem, so I'd just like to be able to accept and be content with being a monster instead of crying over it all the time.

She nodded and wrote it down but thinking on it now I do wonder if she really accepted "being okay with being a monster" as a goal. She also said "what I'm hearing is abandonment issues" which, okay, fair. I always thought it was RSD but she is the professional.

Anyway this is further down the road stuff. There's other stuff we have to work on first. (e.g. I couldn't protect my dog from abuse when I was an abused child myself and I have been carrying that guilt and punishing myself for it for over 20 years and I'm finally at a place where I think I need to learn how to stop self-flagellating for my perceived childhood failures. And if you're like "why only now" well that's because even as recently as two weeks ago I felt I deserved the guilt and pain, and even now it's like 75 / 25, but we move.)

Anyway! I am going to try really hard and work on things with her. I want to feel better, I want to heal, and most importantly, I want to stop crying all the time because crying fucking sucks. Literally one of the worst bodily functions. Why can't I just turn on my eyes like faucets, let the tears pour out, and then turn the eyes off when empty? Why do I have to deal with all the congestion and snot and swollen face and headache? Once again the human body is an inefficient mess. Smh.

anyway. therapy good. post over.

[seariii]

Hum...

[beingnotseeming]

sometimes maturing is simply utilizing the private post option LMAO

[enfinizatics]

the post disco elysium brainrot is so big, i’m gonna go insane, guys.

[legendarylily]

Goth horse.

[catgirljaneway]

[gaysforbyler]

I don’t understand neurotypicals. My boss corrected me on something last week, and then again today on something sort of related but not really? And then she was like “I’ve told you this before, you should know better” NO YOU DIDN’T?? THOSE WORDS HAVE NEVER LEFT YOUR MOUTH, I HAD NO IDEA

[solpng]

wonder if my therapist is missing my weekly lore drops i left the poor woman on a cliffhanger at my last appointment

[thefirstknife]

I admit upon seeing the art for Season of Defiance that we would be having a Mara focused story instead of her just being the reason why we're able to do stuff.

Plus Where's Petra, Eris and Sjur.

Dreaming City curse developments when?

Oh yeah, same. I definitely expected more about Mara this season.

Some of the stuff we got this season from her is really good to me, but would feel much better if she had an actual central stage and if there was more stuff about her and the Awoken in general. This season is really just about Crow again. And while I love Mara's and Crow's development, I feel like it would've hit a lot better if that was handled somewhat differently and if that was the true focus. Adding Amanda stuff in there is kinda watering it down.

Also Mara being so broken over Amanda is very strange, they didn't know each other at all. I do enjoy that Mara is involved and moved by people dying for the cause; before, she would just treat those things as part of the duty everyone has to the universe. But at the end of the day, Amanda is just one of the soldiers that gave their life for the cause. And if we're adding Mara's grief about a dedicated soldier dying for the cause, I really expected some mention of Sjur. We got one hint at Sjur and that's it.

I suppose adding Petra and Eris would've been too many characters, but also it wouldn't have been too many if the season was truly Mara/Awoken-centered. Also PLEASE. When will we have a Mara season where Eris shows up. Genuinely like. Mara and Eris share an incredibly unique relationship and we've not seen them interact on screen, ever. Nothing in Lost, nothing in WQ (where they're both on Mars at some point??), nothing now.

On one hand, I do like the focus on some other characters like Devrim and Amanda, but also combining it all with Mara and the Awoken ended up feeling unfocused. Mara, Techeuns and everyone who might've been a good match for a Mara season playing second fiddle to Amanda just feels kinda weird. Like, I do enjoy Amanda as a character but I honestly do not see how she's that important to be center of the season. And now even more so given her death and so much dedication to it and who knows what's happening with that in the future. Like, as much as I don't think it would make sense, she might still turn out to be a Guardian. It's a possibility and if that's the case, then she would have to be someone important for that to make sense.

I'm not too bothered by it all, but I do definitely feel like some potential was lost with this setup. And that's honestly a good point about the Dreaming City curse; when are we dealing with that? Can we expect another Mara/Awoken season at some point? This season is kinda about the invasion of Earth so clearly we weren't going to deal with the Dreaming City. But that's somethinig that should be solved at some point. Maybe then we can expect Eris and Petra and maybe even Sjur. Please Sjur.