#she was his first love and his first heartbreak and he'll never ever get over it

[tartt9]

no thoughts head empty but jamie definitely took home a girl the night of the gala bc he would've cried about keeley breaking up with him if he hadn't and "men don't cry"

[minhosimthings]

Epilogue || 18+

Synopsis: Sex had never felt so good, as it did now, with your new husband.

Pairings: husband!Jay × wife!reader

Warnings: smut minors Dni, thigh riding, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, p in v sex, penetration, degradation, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), rough sex, dom!Jay, sub!reader, breeding kink, mention of pregnancy, cumming inside, JayYn forever I love these idiots

A/N: and we come to an end with the Lucifer series! Thank you for all the support on this series, I truly loved writing it and I hope you all like this tiny bonus 😙🎀

Series Masterlist

The first time Jay ever saw you was in fourth grade. He remembered that story like the back of his hand. The first thing he recalled was the fact that you were so short you couldn't reach the coat hangers, so he had to help you hang your too big coat up. That was the first kindle that ignited the flames of your friendship.

The second kindle was when you were introduced to him as 'your new neighbour Y/N'. Your parents had recently moved to the town and bring the social butterfly she was, Jay's mother promptly marched him over to your new house with a jar of homemade cookies. Jay remembered how you and him had devoured all of the cookies without a thought, only to get stomach aches and scoldings from both your mothers.

Jay had introduced Heeseung to you at the start of fifth grade, having trusted you enough to welcome you into his own group of friends, of which Heeseung was his best. Jay's entire world for most of his cringey teenage and depressing young adult years were you and Heeseung. And he had been thankful for that.

Until he found himself falling in love with you.

Falling desperately, hopelessly, painfully in love with you. If anyone had asked him about what he loved about you, he would have had a seven verse poem written already. As if that was enough for him to express everything he held within his the deepest crevices of his heart for you. He loved you on purpose, truly and fully, as heartbreak loved a woman and as misfortune loved a daughter.

But as love always went, Jay was hesitant. He was scared. What if you didn't feel the same way? It would have ruined your friendship and the deep bond between you two if Jay ever told you what he truly felt, about the way his stomach would erupt in butterflies whenever you'd fix his hair and the way you made him weak in the knees everytime you laughed at one of his dad jokes.

Then came Seattle.

Jay's father has received a promotion and they were to move to The States. A new chance at at life, as his mother had enthusiastically put it. But there was no enthusiasm or happiness in it for Jay. Sure, he would be moving somewhere new, somewhere where dreams were supposed to be fulfilled, but what about his life until then? What about Heeseung and you? What about the life he wanted to have with you for the rest of eternity?

So came the waterworks. The final look of anguish on your face at the airport remained etched into Jay's memory forever, even from the distance he could clearly see the tear stains on your face, and Heeseung's arms pulling you into a hug with a final nod to Jay. It tore his heart apart, but he promised himself that he'll dig his way back to you if it was the last thing he'd do.

That is, until he moved back to Seoul, and found himself face to face with you and Heeseung. With matching rings on your fingers and a lovesick smile on your face. Or atleast that was how he imagined it. He didn't even take the time to glance at your longing expression, heavily disguised under the cheerful grin on your face.

You did love Heeseung, yes, but what good was that love when the man you've wanted since eight grade was right in front of you? Sitting in the same elegant position, holding his glass of gin in the same peculiar way that had always made you laugh, what good was any love when it was not the love you wanted?

Or perhaps the love you lusted after, the dangerous kind of love. The adventurous kind of love. The love that made your eyes linger over him whenever you'd pay Heeseung a visit at the police station, only to find Jay looking at you with pity as he glanced towards the empty desk labelled with your ex husband's name next to him.

The love that made you want to absolutely devour him as he sat leaning back in his armchair, legs spread dangerously wife apart, that caused warmth to spread between your thighs and saliva to accumulate in your mouth.

Jay looked at you with eyes full of lust, like he was a tiger on a hunt and you were his lamb, dolled up in a white dress with a glittering diamond ring on your finger. You had practically fought him not to buy you something so expensive, but Jake and Sunghoon had shrugged their shoulders with an 'i told you so' look when you walked in with a look of defeat.

"Come 'ere." Jay mumbled, tapping his index finger on his thigh, his own ring shone spectacularly against the golden shade of his skin. You promptly walked over, dragging your dress along with you. It was a pretty dress, you had to admit, you didn't think Jake and Sunghoon would have been such experts in suggesting wedding dresses, but you were proven wrong.

"Pretty little doll..." Jay's arms promptly went to your waist, as you say yourself down on his thigh, forearms resting on his shoulder. His right hand, crawled up your back, to where the zipper of your dress lay stagnant. You pressed your body closer to his, your clothed pussy practically grinding against the course material of his trousers. Jay's soft, cherry pink lips, touched your neck agressively, leaving hues of red behind for everyone in town to know whose you were.

Jay's fingers fiddled with the zipper for a minute before he pulled it down completely, to reveal the white lace of your bra. It barely hid anything, your perked up nipples were clearly visible and your cleavage was a valley Jay wanted to dive into and make a home out of.

Jay's hands palmed your bare back as he ripped your dress off of you, eliciting a moan out of your mouth as you saw his muscles flex ever so slightly, thought the fabric of his silk shirt. Your fingers also went to the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning the first three before Jay perked his thigh up, the fabric now hitting your clothed cunt. You gasped at the sudden sensation.

"So impatient aren't you, love?" Jay connected his lips to yours in a short kiss, "Tell me what you want baby."

"You're allowing me that privilege?" You chuckled, trying hard not to stare down at his chiseled chest, "That's too kind of you Mr Park."

"Would you prefer if I was rougher, Mrs Park?" Jay wore a handsome smirk on his face, the hand which settled on your back, squeezed it ever so slightly, making you squirm. Jay's fingers danced up your legs, slowly making their way up your legs until he reached the waistband of your panties. His devilish smirk only grew in size as you lifted your hips just enough for him to slide the thin fabric down your milky thighs to expose your slick center.

"Needy little slut aren't you doll?" Jay whispered in your, sending shivers down your spine, "All wet for me, and I haven't even touched you."

"Maybe you're just that handsome." You responded with a cheeky smile. You started to slowly roll your hips into Jay's stomach, your soaked pussy rubbed harshly against his trousers. Jay could feel the spot on which you sat comfortably getting wetter by the second.

"Or maybe I'm just that pretty." You said again, adding fuel to the fire, "Well, a pretty girl like me shouldn't be with a man like you should she?"

As you went to pull away, he grabbed your arm gently, his grasp firm around your skin, before bringing you back down to his level and pressing his lips into your mouth, a searing hot kiss igniting you into a pile of flames, a mountain of ash at the feeling of his touch.

You kissed him back, eyes shutting tight like a stone door, your body leaning in to his as his tongue dragged across your own. That elicited a moan from the back of your throat, and without exactly meaning to, you felt yourself grinding against him.

"Pretty girl like you deserves to be fucked like the whore she is, doll." His fingernails drew marks over your skin, adding to your pleasure. The drag of your clit against his muscular thigh causes you to whimper, pressing yourself harder to his skin, as if trying to obliviate the mere atoms of space between the both of you. His large calloused hands guide your hips, moving you up and down his thigh.

Soon the throbbing in your cunt got stronger, your clit begging for more friction, something to relieve the pressure building up in your lower stomach. You give an experimental rock of your hips, freezing to wait for Jay's reaction. When he doesn't respond you do it again, setting a steady rhythm as you grind down on his lap.

The zipper on the front of his slacks rubs perfectly against your sensitive clit, the pleasure increasing with every roll of your hips, head burying further into the crook of Jay's neck, his masculine scent filling your nose. Your pussy is dripping now, your empty hole flutters and pulses as you continue grinding in Jay's lap, too lost in pleasure to register the tiny whimpers leaving your mouth.

Speeding up your movement, hips pressing down harder into his, a breathy moan of his name falls from your lips as you're about to reach your peak. Just as you feel yourself tumbling over the edge, two strong, cold hands firmly grab your hips, halting your movement completely.

You whine desperately at the loss of your orgasm, hips frantically chasing more of that delicious friction that would have your cunt gushing, but it's useless. Jay's vice-like grip prevents any of your movements, cold fingers bruising as they dig into the soft flesh of your hips.

"Not so soon, sweetheart." Jay smirked at your shocked expression, you looked adorable to him with widened eyes and an agape mouth, "My spoilt little princess."

"Jay please..." You whine out of annoyance, but his grip stayed strong on your body, practically leaving scars there from how strong it was.

"Poor baby, begging for me." Jay snickered, sending shivers down your spine, "Tell me what you want darling—tongue, fingers or cock?" One of his hands went down to your thigh, giving it a light squeeze, eliciting a moan out of you.

"T-Tongue." You spluttered out, as Jay kept groping your thigh. He snickered once more, his ego grew in size as he watched you sink into an abyss at his mere touch.

"Good girl." Jay simply replied, before tightly securing his hands round your hips. He lifted you up with ease, and places your feet on the ground, before getting up himself and picking you up again. One of his hands wound round your waist and one of them went to your ass, squeezing it mischievously. He meticulously carried you to the bed, which by the look of it, had new silken sheets, just waiting to be ruined.

The feeling of the soft fabric seduced you as you allowed your body to relax into the mattress. Your eyes flickered over to Jay, whose figure could be seen outlined by the faint golden light of the lamp placed on the bedside table. The carved muscles of his back enamoured you into a trance as you stared at your new husband take off his shirt. His hands went to his newly bought leather belt and he took it off in one swipe, loosening up his trousers which soon came off to reveal his hardened cock. Your mouth filled to the brim with saliva as you stared at it.

"It's not good to stare, sweetheart." Jay chuckled, turning to you, his gaze set fire to your skin, "Now—" his mouth morphs into a lopturned smirk, "—you said tongue didn't you?"

The only response he got was a weak whimper when his hands roamed over your thighs, spreading your legs apart. You gasped softly at the feeling of his breath hitting your skin.

Jay peeled open your pussy, revealing your glistening slit to his hungry eyes. He watched the way your arousal pooled at the tight hole of your cunt, the way your clit hardened at the feeling of the cold air. Your hands snaked down to his head, and you dragged your fingers through his hair, his name falling from your tongue like a melody.

"Jay—stop teasing." You whined, not having the patience anymore to wait for his heaven-trained tongue to get stuck inside your pussy.

His eyes find yours again, and he kept them there as he traced his lips north. He nosed the juncture of your cunt and inner thigh, running a tongue along your mound. You gasped and eyes narrowed, watching him with rapt attention. He pressed a kiss to the top of your slit and his hands come up to open you to him, pulling the lips apart and tonguing the collected moisture there. Your head fell back as your elbows gave way, falling flat against the blanket. 

"god, just like that," you groan as he brushes against your g-spot and circles his tongue around your clit.

Jay's tongue swirls in lazy circles against your clit, hands gripping your trembling thighs to anchor you to him. His mind is hazy with desire, lost in the taste and scent of you, the feel of your body under his touch. He can't get enough of you, craving more and more until he's completely satisfied, which he knows will take hours at the very least.

All you can hear are the brazen sounds of his slurps and sucking along with his ragged breathing and you scream and whine as your hands reach out weakly to push his shoulders away, the pleasure running through your nerves, strangling your throat in the process.

“Ahh-! Jay- wait..!” He doesn't listen to your pleads to get him to stop, the pleasure almost unbearably good. How could he stop? His sweet tooth craves for his sweetheart’s sloppy cunt almost all the time.

He’s enjoying every second of it, listening to how noisy you’re getting, the screeches and moans escaping your lips, barely managing to form words to escape those pretty lips he loves to shove his cock into.

Your moans were getting higher and higher as your back arched to feed more of yourself to him, desperately craving the feel of his touch, of his nose, of his beard against your thighs, of the lips he so devoutly was using to suck on your most sensitive spot.

As his tongue continues exploring your clit with need, you push against his shoulders but fail, his strong grip keeping you locked in position.

Nonetheless you keep trying, far too overstimulated for your own good. You try to get his hands to release their firm grip of holding your thighs up, but you fail again, then try pushing his head away, yet you fail again, your attempts futile.

"Fuck—oh Jay!” You wailed a wanton amount, enough for the whole neighbourhood to shake due to the sheer pleasure you’re feeling. The white pain mixing with adrenaline sends you right to the edge of teetering release.

“Can’t you please just— Ah! fuck me already!” There it was, the only permission he ever needed.

Jay was quick to pull his skilled tongue out and move his hands from your thighs to your hips, getting himself steady on top of you. The sudden movement caught you off guard, even more so, when his lips landed on yours. You tasted the faint bits of yourself on them and you relished it all, arching yourself further into him. He was your husband now, and you made sure that you took full advantage of that.

"So fucking pretty." Jay whispered after pulling away. One of his hands cupped your cheek while the other remained on your hip. Jay was quick to withdraw his hand and trace it back to your hip.

“You ready?” he asked, licking his lips before pulling his cock out, already covered in pre-cum. He looked so beautiful above you, his hips so close to yours, his hair falling into his face and his chest raising as fast as yours. You looked a mess, but you were his mess and he wanted to devour you.

He was tender with you, his fingertips light across the length of your body as he felt you, his touch delicate- as though you were a statue that could break at any moment. He was going to take his time with you. He was going to devote himself to the religion that was your weeping cunt.

Yet, in a play of duality, the moans, the lewd moans that crawled up your throat were filthy, even filthier than the sound of how wet, how unbelievably drenched you were as he plunged into you over and over, as he literally used you as a fucktoy, filling you up more and more, until he was finally sat inside you to the very hilt, until his pubic hairs were grazing your skin and the tip of his cock was touching your cervix.

"Fucked out already, love?" Jay snickered at you, he knew his words always made you weak.

You managed a weak glare, but it melted into a moan as he pushed into you. The stretch was intense, making you claw at his shoulders for support. He kissed your neck, his lips and teeth leaving a trail of fire as he pulled out slowly before thrusting back in deeply. You moaned at the sensation, your body arching to meet his every movement.

You opened your eyes slowly, your vision filled with the sight of him. His beautiful, sweat-covered face was close to yours, the grey in his eyes adding to his rugged appeal. His aura burned with an intensity that made your heart race.

His pace quickened, his hips snapping against yours with a ferocity that left you breathless. The room was filled with the sounds of your combined moans, the slap of skin against skin, and the wet, obscene noises of your coupling. His free hand roamed over your body, caressing and squeezing, leaving trails of fire in its wake.

“Jay– more,” His eye flits up to your face, asking for silent reassurance that that is indeed what you want. “For god's sake Jay, move faster please I–” Not needing to be told twice, Jay picks up speed. Where his thrusts were slow and sensual, now they are fast and hard. He fucks you like a man starved, as if he was told this is the last woman he will ever lay with. Which in his case, was true, since you were married after all. 

It all feels so, so good. Your mind is a hazy mess with only thoughts of him and his fat fucking dick. Every time his tip meets that spongy spot inside of you, you feel like you're seeing stars as drool runs down your chin. When was the last time you ever got your guts rearranged like this? In fact, when was the last time you even felt the touch of a man? Heeseung surely had done it, but it was surely never as pleasurable as this.

Those questions were swept away in the flurry of pleasure brought by Jay's cock sliding in and out of your pussy with a wet squelch, your body rocking back and forth with the force. He relished the sight under him, your sweaty body splayed out so prettily for him as he brought you to new heights.

"Damn... You're so fucking tight—"He grinned as you responded with nothing but incoherent babbles, too dumbed down to even form a proper sentence. "—sucking in my cock like it never wants to let it go, honey..."

Jay brought one of his hands down to grab your breast, fondling the mound and squeezing before tweaking your nipple between the pads of his thumb and index. That action elicits a hiss out of him as he feels you clench down harder around him, making him let out a breathy chuckle

"Haah... You liked that, didn't you, doll?" His answer comes in the form of another pornographic moan, "...What if I gave you a child, huh? —Fuck—! You like the thought, love? Letting me fuck a baby into you?"

"Jay—ah shit!" You screamed, feeling your gummy cunt being attacked by his tip, "N-Need your cum—please!"

Jay would have been lying if he said the thought wasn't enticing, getting to raise a child with you that's his own. It was something he'd been dreaming of for the longest while. You weren't sure if you could have children, but Jay would at least attempt to make it happen. Even if it meant pumping you full of his cum till your belly bloats from the amount he's emptied into you. It drives him to go a bit faster, his cock reaching deep as your walls spasm around him.

You gasp out his name as your arms tighten around him. Hearing a chuckle, he did it again. "What happened baby?" He cooed, you could hear the smirk dripping from his voice. But you were too distracted making noises to complain.

“My dumb little girl, just love getting her needy cunt fucked hm? there sweetheart? yeah feels good doesn’t it?” He up his pace, even if you thought that was impossible. His cock continues to drill inside you with the tip expertly hitting your heavenly spot.

It doesn’t take long to feel the first flutterings of that eye-wateringly beautiful sensation between your legs. The force of his thrusts, and the friction against your clit cause you to see stars behind your eyes. With one last scream of his name, you cum around his cock. Your walls pulling him in, attempting to root him to you. Aemond however, does not let up, chasing afer his own release. You quickly stammer, “I’m cumming! Fuck!”

“Cum for me. Right now give it to me, baby, come on” Jay pistons his hips with slower pace but deeper, sliding himself unbelievably full to your cunt, with a prominent bulge on your lower tummy.

Jay’s legs nearly gave out underneath him, hearing your sweet words. As your pussy contracted in wet bursts around him again, Jay released every drop of cum inside of his body, deep into your walls so that you could feel yourself becoming full and it beginning to drip out as it became too much.

Jay didn’t move and kept his cock inside you, letting himself and you calm down and try to catch your breath. As you regain your composure, your head against Jay's chest, your mind almost exploded with the overwhelming thoughts.

You definitely were not on the pill.

You and Jay winced in union as he slowly pulled out, careful not to waste any of his seed, which stayed buried deep within you. You could see the shine of the thin line of sweat on Jay's body as he slumped down on the mattress next to you. He looked ethereal, like a God in his own kingdom.

"You ok, love?" Jay murmured in his deep voice, which sounded tired.

"You're asking me that now, asshole?" You chuckled breathlessly, your chest riding and falling according to your hasty breaths, "I'm not on the pill by the way." You added, with uncertainty coating your tone.

You felt Jay's arms quickly wrap around you, pulling your head into his chest. He smiled down at you, pressing a saccharine-sweet kiss to your sweaty forehead. You winced at the feeling of your sore legs moving slightly on the bed.

"Good." Jay said, "I wasn't planning on having any protection anyway."

"Jay!" You gasped playfully, softly hitting his chest, "Don't say that!"

"Or what?" He smirked.

"Or I'll make you a dad." You managed a cheeky smile, feeling drops of sleep drip onto your eyes.

"Gladly, my love."

Taglist: @diorsyun @jaeyunluvr @hoondrop @mxxninthesky @alvojake @wondipity @blurryriki @lilyuwon @heeliopheelia @pshazez @heeslomll @seunghancore @shiningnono @deobitifull @luvitria @nyfwyeonjun @hwa-0403 @bubblegyu00 @sunpov @heeheeswifey @chartrucewhore @slut4hee @heesangs-blog @rikiwaify-blog @hirablackcat @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @kirinaa08 @heeshlove @seokseokjinkim @brownsugarbaybee @yzzyhee @anittamaxwynnn @kgneptun @penny44224 @ribbioniki @strxwbloody @immelissaaa @nshmrarki @yawnzzhoon @sousydive @yunhoswrldddd

[h0ck3yl0v3r]

foolish one

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

lh43 x childhood bestfriend!reader

warnings: angst, semi-swearing

you and luke were inseparable. always attached to each other, whether it was you attending his hockey games or him attending your events. everyone around you guys always thought you were both dating, although you wish you were, there was never any romantic relationships.

highschool graduation happened, and you and luke both had committed to the university of michigan. as time went on through senior year, yours and lukes relationship was rocky, luke being too busy with hockey and girls to always be there for you. as for you, you were still one of his biggest supporters. it was in that long list of promises you guys made when you were seven. 'we promise to always be there for each other no matter what.'

college was rocky, you barely saw luke, heard from him, it was hard on you.

chances are, tonight, you've already got plans and chances are i will talk myself to sleep again

you cried every night, seeing pictures of luke at parties with girls while you were never invited. you felt invisible to him now, your mom and ellen called every day, they knew how much love you have for luke, they knew it from the moment you slipped and fell on the ice and luke helped you up, the moment your spark in your eyes grew.

and the voices say, "you are not the exception you will never learn your lesson"

that spark was now slowly fading away. you really thought you had a chance being his best friend that maybe, just maybe he'd be in love with you too.

don't know what to call this situation but i know i can't call you mine

the whole first semester of freshman year went by really fast, meaning it was now time for winter break, one of your favorite seasons. luke was still radio silence, you both always spent winter together, guess he's too famous for you now, another promise broken, 'we promise to never forget each other, no matter how famous we get.'

but goodbye screamin' in the silence and the voices in my head are tellin' me why

when ellen and your mother came down to visit they held a little gathering with jack, quinn, luke and his friends.

the gathering was a mess.

"yo moose who's this girl in your baby pictures." one of his teammates had brought up.

"oh her, she's just an old friend." he had replied, 'old friend.' that hurt to hear, you were no longer apart of his life.

cause you got her on your arm and me in the wings i'll get your longing glances, but she'll get your ring

luke didn't know you were there, too busy with his new girlfriend and teammates. but you heard it all, you see it all, it was heartbreaking, quinn saw it all though. quinn was always second closest to you, being that person you looked up to, he was the first person you ever confessed you had a crush to luke on.

"it hurts quinny, it hurts so much, i feel like a ghost to him. i thought we would've happened i thought all the signs i gave him would've been enough for him to catch on. i feel so stupid" you sobbed into quinns chest, hos heart breaking for you.

"shh its okay, my brothers an idiot, please don't feel like stupid, it's not your fault angel" quinn rubbed your back softly as you sat there and cried yourself to sleep.

foolish one sittin' 'round waiting for confessions of love they ain't never gonna come and thinkin' he's the one, you should've been walkin' out foolish one

you woke up the next morning devastated. maybe in another universe it could've happened, but right now its time to piece yourself back together. you couldn't face watching your spark keep fading over someone who no longer is present in your life.

when all is said and done, he just wasn't the one no, he just wasn't the one

for you, luke will always be your past present and future, but right now he is not what is needed in your life, mayne one day he'll come back to his senses but for the time being self-love is the best healing.

tags: @drysdalesv @ghostfacd @shy4turcs

pt 2??

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddiesongfics.

Vigilante Shit

October Prompt: Vigilante Shit by Taylor Swift | Word Count: 7777 | Rating: E | CW: Unsafe Sex, Mildly Dubious Consent | Tags: Modern AU, Past Break-Up, Divorced, Angst, Exes-to-Lovers, Hopeful Ending, Famous Eddie, Corroded Coffin, Platonic Stobin: Ride or Die (Eddie Might Die If Robin Has Her Way, lol), Unsafe Sex, Barebacking, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, Except It's All Love Underneath, Mr. Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Also available right here on ao3.

they say looks can kill and I might try Taylor Swift, Vigilante Shit

Steve steps out of the taxi, and looks down, smoothing the lines of his shirt. Hoping it's not too wrinkled. He's left it unbuttoned one more button than would be considered decent, but nothing about today is going to end up decent, he's sure of it. The fabric is tight, midnight blue and clinging to his sides, his biceps, tailored to perfection. He made sure of it. When he looks good, he feels good. And today? He needs to at least feel good about how he looks. 

He stands on the sidewalk, shrugging on the leather jacket that doesn't actually belong to him. The one with the chained up broken zipper on the sleeve. The one from before. A relic of years gone by, of kids that have been dead and buried by adulthood.

He doesn't actually need it, weather-wise. But if he's digging up bones, he might as well dig deep.

And he looks good in it, without fucking question.

Tonight he isn't dressing for women, or men. He's dressing for revenge.

The event space is old, he can tell. One of those remodeled places, salvaged from the hands of time. He's never been here before, and wishes he didn't have to be at today, either. He wishes he was seven hundred miles away, at home. When the plane touched down here this morning, he felt like he was being suffocated. Like the air was thicker, like he was being stifled, just because he lives here.

Steve avoids the city like the plague. Henderson moved here a few years ago, though, and Steve would be lying if he hadn't felt betrayed. He felt like a side had been chosen, and that it wasn't his. 

Steve knows that's irrational. But he still feels that way, especially when he's alone with his thoughts. Robin has gotten sick of hearing about it. She's the only person on earth he feels comfortable letting see how much he still hurts.

How much he'll always be hurt, maybe.

Coming here today feels a little bit like torture, and opting out was definitely his first instinct. 

But here Steve is. He couldn't do that to Henderson.

Even if he lives in town. It's not like Henderson ever mentions him anymore. Dustin quickly learned that was a bridge not to cross with Steve if he wished to continue living.

So, Steve cut off his nose to spite his own face, like a fucking idiot. Now he gets no information on Eddie, no secondhand gossip from friends, no nothing that doesn't come from the gossip rags. 

Steve double-checks his reflection in the door of the brick building, fingers combing through his hair. Looks good. Like the rest of him. That much he is confident about. Everything else is the problem.

It's an old building, and when the old elevator opens, Steve looks around the big, airy ballroom. There's an open window seat, and he walks over and perches in it, waiting. The setting sun is warm on his back, and while he hasn't heard for sure, he knows in his gut that Eddie will be here. There's no way Eddie's missing Henderson's engagement party. 

Even if that means seeing Steve.

Steve had checked the tour schedule, hoping, praying he'd be halfway across the world tonight. But there was a suspicious looking break in their dates. As if this had been planned around it. 

It probably was.

But Steve can't worry about Eddie. He will, of fucking course, but it would be so much better for his own well-being if he didn't.

Eddie cut the first tie between them, but Steve is the one that burned the bridges behind him, making it permanent. If Eddie wanted to run from him, well, then he was gonna stay fucking gone. Steve wasn't interested in providing any sort of lifeline for Eddie to ever use to climb out of the hole he insisted on digging for himself.

Robin and Henderson have both said in soft, roundabout ways that Steve was kind of being a dick. Being petty, bitchy, mean. But Steve doesn't care. He got his heart broken. He lost his husband. He can be all of those things, and more. 

Steve spins the ring on his finger, the one he hasn't worn in years. The old gold band that he dug out of the back of his closet, and spent all morning polishing into a gut punch.

His motto for tonight: Don't get sad, get even.

He wishes Robin were already here, but she's never been on time a day in her life. Every flight she's ever booked has been delayed, if not outright canceled, and today was no different. Unfortunately, that means he's sitting off to the edge of the ballroom by himself, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing does.

Friends who have become closer to strangers mingle, and laugh, leaving him on fringes, alone. And Steve knows that's his fault. He cut a large swath out of his life, isolating himself. Licking his wounds in solitary confinement. Robin is his only companion, besides his misery and grief.

He needs to suck it up, go mingle, force himself to dole out apologies and be a little more active in the festivities, certain that he's been foolish. Eddie isn't coming after all.

Steve makes his way over to Dustin.

"Congrats, kiddo," Steve says, wrapping his arm around Dustin's shoulders, squeezing.

"About damn time, I thought you were gonna sulk in the corner all night," Dustin snaps, and Steve laughs. No, he's not gonna do that. He just needed a minute. And he gets that Henderson understood that. He's a good kid, a good man, now.

He keeps talking, "I thought you were gonna go on some sort of anti-marriage tirade."

No, no, Steve was wrong. He is still a little shit.

"I'm not anti-marriage," Steve says, and he isn't. Sure, his didn't work out, but he's not going around assuming that everybody else's will end up the same way.

Unless they plan on marrying Eddie. Then, that's on them. Play dumb games, win stupid prizes.

"He was supposed to come tonight," Dustin admits.

Yeah, Steve figured as much, "Sorry he let you down, kid."

Dustin looks up at him, "Sorry he let you down, too."

Yeah, well. Shit happens.

The room is sparkling with twinkling lights that look even better as the sun melts into the horizon. Tray after tray of drinks and passed hors d'oeuvres make the rounds, and everyone seems happy to see him, maybe forgiving him a little too easily for his disappearing act. 

They come see him in his window, like it's his new office. Handing him drinks, food. Doling out hugs and kisses. Stories. Sharing their lives with him.

Robin comes in earlier than he expected her, and she throws her hands in the air, announcing her arrival.

Dustin hugs her, and then she marches over to the window seat he's been holding court from.

He stands, and she steps into his arms, squeezing him tight, "Hi, dingus. Sorry I'm late."

"You're early," he says, and she's not. She's nearly an hour late. But for him, she's right on time.

Eddie didn't come. He doesn't have to say it, she knows. He feels foolish. He's wearing Eddie's leather jacket and his old wedding band, and dwelling on a past Eddie clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about.

Steve squeezes Robin back. It's been too long. Living in separate cities is for the goddamn birds. Maybe he should move closer to her. Pack up his life and just hit the road and be wherever she wants to be, always.

That sounds like the best plan for a lifetime of happiness that he's had in a goddamn long time.

"We could call the FBI. Tell them he's a drug mule. Tell them he's evading taxes."

Steve doesn't think either of those things are true.

He's about to say so when he feels the air in the room change. 

Fuck.

He drops back to the bricks, not really able to stand under these conditions.

Eddie's here, Steve can't see him yet, refuses to scour the room, looking, searching, but he knows. He always knew when Eddie manifested himself into Steve's presence. Like a magic trick Steve doesn't know the secret behind, and probably never will. 

Steve leans back, and sprawls out on the brick window sill he's been sitting in, and Robin is looking down at him wide-eyed. Because she's well aware of the only thing here that could knock his feet out from him.

She steps to the side and turns to look.

And he's determined to keep his head up. He's gonna meet this head-on, no-holds-barred. If Eddie wants to look away, wants to run like he always does, then he can be the one to do that. Again. Because Steve's got nothing to be ashamed about.

He didn't fuck up their lives. Eddie did.

Two black suits, his private security Steve's sure, flank Eddie. Like there's a threat at his friend's engagement party. Fucking ridiculous. 

Well.

Maybe there is a threat: Steve. 

At least a threat to his peace, and as if on cue Eddie stops in the middle of the room and stares. Steve stares back. Wrist resting over his own bent knee. They say looks can kill, and tonight Steve damn well might try.

Steve won't blink first, won't back down.

And eventually Eddie gives, loses, and looks away.

Steve smiles to himself, taking a sip of his drink, swirling the ice in the lowball glass, as Robin's eyebrows have permanently lodged themselves into her hairline. He makes small talk with her, when he knows she wants to say so fucking much about what just happened. There will be time for that later, time to dissect and replay, but only then does he unfold himself from the window seat, sauntering across the room, stopping to talk to his friends. His. 

Steve doesn't look his way again, but he can definitely feel the eyes boring into him as he moves around the room. Good. Let him stare. 

On the way back from the bathroom, Steve passes a little too close to the sun.

And Eddie reaches out, snagging Steve's hand in his, squeezing it hard enough that it pinches his skin between the ring he has no business wearing, but Steve doesn't react. Doesn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he can get to him in any way.

Not anymore.

He just looks at Eddie, and Eddie stares back. 

Eddie doesn't let go. Instead he shifts his hand, sliding it upwards, until he's hooked his finger through the chain on the jacket sleeve, and starts to pull Steve by it, like he's on a lead. His feet betray him, and he follows. 

So do the bodyguards.

"No, stay," Eddie says, like they're guard dogs. Maybe they are. They definitely heel to his command.

And he leads Steve out of the ballroom, down a long hallway, trying to push open door after locked door, until he finds one that gives, swinging open. It's empty, and probably used for staging or a dressing room during other events. There's a fancy couch, and the whole place is lit by the moonlight coming through the deep-set windows.

Only then does he let go. Steve feels burned.

But he doesn't react to that, instead Steve stands there, hands on his hips as Eddie lingers, several paces away, staring back. 

He didn't ask for this, for any of this.

"What the fuck do you want?" Steve snaps, and Eddie's teeth are showing as he stalks forward. Steve refuses to take a step back, refuses to flinch or lose an inch of ground to him. Eddie's not gonna steamroll him, not ever again.

"What the fuck is this?" Eddie asks, reaching out and squeezing Steve's wrist. The jacket. Then flicking Steve's finger, the ring, as it rests on his hip.

"It's a wedding ring. I know that's probably confusing for you, since you never wore one of them. It ruined your aesthetic, or whatever this is," Steve mocks, waving his hand around Eddie's whole being. All the black leather and silver jewelry that doesn't mean shit.

Eddie ignores all that, and his eyes narrow down on Steve's hand, demanding, "You marry somebody else wearing my ring?"

"Maybe I did," Steve snaps. "What's it to you?"

And Eddie loses the standoff. His hands find his hair as he roughly pulls at it, spinning in a circle.

Steve smirks. 

"You want it back? Here. Take it," Steve spits out, angry, so fucking pissed off for the past decade or more, pulling the ring off his finger and throwing it. Listening as it hits the wall across the room, and then clatters across the hardwood flooring. 

He shrugs out of the jacket and throws it next. Hitting Eddie square in the chest.

The sound Eddie makes is distraught, feral, and if Steve didn't know he's only bullshit and bluster, he'd probably be scared.

But he's not scared of Eddie Munson. At least not in the way the rest of the world is, hoodwinked by the reputation he built with his carefully cultured public image that is just lie after lie.

Steve wasn't sure what would happen next, but Eddie on his hands and knees, patting around in the dark, his phone flashlight darting around trying to catch the glimmer of metal, wasn't what Steve expected.

"Why fucking bother?" Steve asks as he crosses his arms over his chest. Because honestly? He doesn't need it. He made his point. He cut him. He won this round. He needs to leave before he gets left. Again.

And Eddie didn't want him to have it back then, so why waste time digging up old bones? Let sleeping dogs lie. 

"Because," Eddie grits out.

"Just let it go, Eddie. Just like you let me go," Steve snaps, and Eddie's head whips up, the flashlight suddenly blinding Steve.

Steve shields his eyes, "Put that down, asshole."

"Then don't fucking say that," Eddie snaps.

"Like it's not true?"

It is true, and Eddie can't even begin to deny it. He fucking ran, two years into their marriage. Two years that they spent more nights apart than they did together. Two years where they were too young. Too different. At least that's what everyone else said when the dust settled. Like, it was just a mistake anyone could have seen coming.

Like, two years had been a good run, but that this had always been the expected end result.

Steve hadn't expected it. 

That didn't matter, though. They divorced, long-distance, papers delivered and signed through lawyers. All contact completely severed. And then they both spent more than a decade being extra careful to not wind up in the same region, let alone the same building, or room.

Now, here they are. Eddie on his hands and knees rooting around for ancient history, and Steve wishing he could be swallowed up by the floor under his feet just to be out of here. Away. Anywhere else.

It's bullshit. All of it.

Eddie finds it with a huffed laugh, and Steve isn't sure what happens next. Does Eddie pocket it? Keep it? 

No, he stands, and stalks over to Steve, "You wanna wear it? You're gonna wear it."

And he forces it back onto Steve's hand, a perversion of the first time he did it. It catches on his knuckle, and hurts as Eddie forces it on, but Steve watches it happen, can't look away. 

Then, Eddie's even further in his personal space, mouth closing over Steve's, hand sliding into Steve's hair, pulling. Steve kisses him back, hands digging into his back, holding on tight to everything he's already lost.

Steve's whole fucking body betrays him. He moans in Eddie's mouth, dick rushing towards hard, as Eddie leans further into him.

Learning all Steve's secrets from his time away.

Steve doesn't want Eddie to know anything about him.

He also wants him to know everything.

It's infuriating.

Even more so when Eddie spins him around, shoving him forwards, making Steve catch himself on the back of the couch.

Eddie puts his hand in the middle of Steve's back, and presses downwards, hard. Bending him over the back side of the vintage couch. Steve goes, willingly. The ornate wood trim digging into his belly. Eddie's hand rubs up and down his sides, hands feeling how his shirt is hugging his skin, and Steve knew it was a good choice. But he doesn't have time to gloat before Eddie's fingers slide around, brushing Steve's stomach, slowly unbuttoning every button of his shirt. Roughly pulling it from his arms, catching on his wrists before being tugged loose, then moving on to unhooking his belt, unbuttoning his jeans, before yanking them down his thighs.

Steve digs the toe of his boot into the hardwood floor, trying to get some leverage that he knows he'll need. It's gonna be rough, and fast, and hard. Desperate. 

Overdue.

Maybe a little bit mean. Steve's not sure what kind of headspace Eddie's in. Hadn't had the chance to really gauge him, before he was drug away into the darkness to fight and fuck about unfinished business.

All their business is unfinished.

Eddie's pressed flush to his back, his palm pressing into the center of Steve's chest, his fingers moving through his chest hair. His cock, hard through his jeans, pressing into Steve's ass. A promise, or a threat.

Either, both, maybe. And then Eddie makes good on it. Steve hears him tearing open foil. Then he feels the cool liquid running down his crack. He tries not to jump, startle. Of course Eddie's carrying travel packets of lube. He shouldn't have assumed anything else.

Then there are slick fingers, one, then two, pressing at him, in him. Sliding deep, working to push all his buttons, proving Eddie hasn't forgotten a goddamn thing. One hand working fingers inside him, the other palming his balls before reaching down to tug on his cock. Just like Steve always liked. But Steve won't make any noise. Won't give Eddie the satisfaction. But Steve's breathing deep and hard, panting as he pushes back against Eddie's hand. Demanding more.

Eddie listens for once, too fast, too soon, and Eddie's breaching him. Steve wanted to draw this out. But that cock that Steve has loved, missed, needed is working him open, fast and rough. It's not enough, it's too much. All at once.

Steve loses, can't bite it back any longer, and Steve huffs out a whine of a breath as Eddie slams into him. He hasn't felt this in years. It's exactly the same, but totally different, too. It's like being fucked by a complete stranger.

It's also like coming home.

He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to keep quiet. The last thing he wants is any of their friends to see him like this. To know that he allowed himself to be bent over this easily. That all he had to do was spend fifteen minutes alone with Eddie before he allowed his resolve to crumble to dust, desperate for it, the second Eddie laid hands on him.

Eddie's not wearing a condom, Steve can feel the difference, can feel the ease of the slide in a way that he hasn't since Eddie cut and ran. Steve knows he should be mad, furious that Eddie thinks he still has that right. That he thinks his blanket permission from a decade ago overrides a goddamn divorce. But Steve's not mad. And he hates that he's not mad. Resents that he gets off on the fact that it's still only Eddie that has been invited inside him, and has been allowed to leave his mark deep, in more ways than one.

"Fuck you, Harrington," Eddie says, and Steve claws at the fabric of the couch, blunt fingernails scraping against the rough texture of it. 

"You already are, asshole," Steve says back.

Eddie laughs. It sounds more delighted than deranged, and if Steve keeps his eyes shut, he can pretend this was another lifetime ago. 

It's easy to go along for the ride, just allowing himself to feel what he hasn't in so many years. It's not like he's been celibate, or alone, but he has been without this. Without Eddie, and having a taste of it again might just wreck him.

There are lips against his back, and a cock splitting him wide. In his mind he's twenty-two and in love. Really in love. 

When he opens them again, he's thirty-four, and bitter. Broken.

Angry. 

So goddamn angry that his life, their life, turned out to be bullshit.

And suddenly the tears burn his eyes. Fuck. He's gonna cry. He reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose, as if he can stave it off with that alone. As if he can just will it away, by wanting it bad enough. But it's not working. He's gonna do the very last thing he ever wanted to have happen in Eddie's presence ever again. When he can't hold it back a second longer, he hitches in a ragged breath, and Eddie stutters, stilling all momentum, immediately.

It nearly gives Steve whiplash, going from a hundred to zero, just like that.

Which is fitting. That's how their whole relationship turned out. From hot and heavy, to distant strangers. Why would this be any goddamn different?

"Steve?" Eddie asks, a warm palm against his back. Rubbing soft, soothing circles, his guitar calluses scratching gently. "Sweetheart?"

That's the last straw, it's too familiar, too much, and he curls over the back of the couch as far as he can as Eddie pulls out, leaving him empty and more bereft than he already was. Steve tries to reach backwards, tries to lure him back. Back inside, back to Steve. Just back, in any way he can get him.

It doesn't happen, of course, and Eddie tries to manhandle Steve into turning around to face him. Steve would rather do anything else, so he won't allow himself to be turned because Steve's still bigger, always has been bigger and stronger, and Eddie's hands disappear before reappearing as he moves around the couch to kneel on the cushion next to where Steve is actively wishing to be swallowed whole.

"Steve," Eddie says, the voice reedy and scared, hands brushing down Steve's back, then moving through Steve's hanging hair, trying to find his face. "Did I hurt you? Did you…" Eddie trails off, thumb on Steve's cheek, "Did you not want that? Did I - did I read you wrong?"

Steve shakes his head. He's hurt, of course he is, just not in the way Eddie means. Of course he wanted this. He just can't. Not with Eddie. It's too hard.

Even if that's all he wants.

He looks down at the cushions below, he sees Eddie's bare thigh, tattoos unfamiliar, and his cock, very familiar, scared into softness. Nestled there in his open fly. Steve wonders if he smells the same. Wants to bury his face in Eddie's crotch and breathe deep.

What an unhinged thing to want, he thinks. But Steve just wants to go home, go back in time.

Eddie's still gorgeous. Always has been, though, and Steve snakes out a hand, curling it around Eddie's forearm.

Asking him not to go.

Asking him to stay this time.

"Sweetheart. Look at me, or I'm getting Robin," Eddie says, and Steve hiccups a laugh as Eddie plays with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

He's not his sweetheart, not any longer, he knows that all too well, but hearing that come out of his lips makes something bloom in his chest. An unfurling longing. Nostalgia for a time he'll never be able to return to, as long as he lives. 

It's already gone. They've already grown up, distant from each other.

And Steve raises his head enough to meet Eddie's eyes.

"She'd kill you," Steve says, trying to blink the wetness from his lashes.

"I'd let her," Eddie answers.

Steve misses him. He's right here, looking right at him, but Steve misses him something fierce.

"Are you okay? What's going on?" Eddie asks, scooting closer, his hand never leaving Steve's neck. Fingers brushing against his skin, keeping contact, soothing him in a way only he ever could.

Steve laughs, bordering on unhinged.

"Vigilante shit," Steve breathes out, and it's like he's ran a marathon, maybe an ultra.

And Eddie laughs, leaning forward and pressing his mouth to Steve's temple.

Steve leans into him. 

"Well, that's fair, sweetheart," Eddie says, "I'll give you that. I deserve it. But are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Steve reassures. As okay as he'll ever be, anyway, here surrounded by the smoldering embers of the life he watched burn to the ground.

Eddie rotates until he's laying down on the couch, and opens his arms for Steve. Steve takes the offer, sliding over the back of the couch, crawling on top of Eddie. Not very gracefully since his pants are still trapped around his thighs, boots on his feet. 

"Here, let me help," Eddie says, trying to maneuver him to sitting. Steve allows it.

And Eddie slides off the couch, kneeling at Steve's feet. Eddie looks at how Steve has them laced so they just slip on and off, and it's an old Eddie trick. Steve knows it, Eddie knows it.

"Well, this is sexy," Eddie says as he gently pulls the first one off his foot, then the second. And Steve laughs. Eddie then pulls his jeans down, tossing them aside, "Can you breathe now?"

Steve nods.

Undressed, and a little more unburdened, Steve watches as Eddie sheds his own pants, and then gets back on the couch, laying back against the cushions, an invitation.

Steve takes it.

He's pretty sure their naked asses aren't supposed to be on this antique piece of furniture, but he'd like to see anyone tell Eddie Munson no. It's impossible, and a waste of breath. Always has been.

So, they lay together, Eddie's hand stroking up and down his back, fingers against his spine. Whispering words that Steve's waited a decade to hear. And Steve listens, feeling the rumble of Eddie's chest, the timbre of his voice that is somehow even deeper than it was at twenty-three. They kiss and grind soft cocks together until they aren't soft anymore. They roll together until Steve slides back down on Eddie's cock, ready to finish what they started. 

It's gentler now, and Steve's pretty sure that might make this worse, after. Hate sex, angry fucking to get each other out of their systems, he thinks he could get over. That he could take at face value.

But this?

This is too soft. Too loving.

And that's gonna destroy him when it's over.

Eddie was, is, will always be, the greatest thing he's ever lost. Steve swears he only blinked, but in between that breath and the next, Eddie had slipped through his fingers.

But he wouldn't give this up. He never wanted to give Eddie up. Not then, not now, and that's really fucking hard to wrap his head around. That it ended against his will. That the thing he was sure was forever, crashed and burned so fucking quickly, completely out of his control. 

He couldn't save them from themselves. He couldn't save them from the self-destructive streak Eddie just couldn't shake.

He couldn't stop Eddie from running.

Distance, blossoming fame, and the road just being more of an obstacle than they would have ever imagined when they stood up and said I do, promising forever. 

Well, forever was pretty fucking short, Steve guesses.

He rocks on Eddie's cock, fucking himself as Eddie holds his hips in his hands. 

"That's it, sweetheart," Eddie encourages, and Steve's setting the rhythm now. The pace, the intensity, so he can't even blame Eddie for this slow down. For this softness.

This is all on him. 

But Eddie still fits in him like he was made to be there. Of course, Steve assumes Eddie's cock has been in lots of places since they buckled and folded. So, yeah, that probably means a doctor's visit, and a nerve wracking wait for test results will be in his future for being impulsive and foolish.

At the same time, he still trusts Eddie. Maybe he shouldn't. It makes no sense to, for fuck's sake. Eddie broke his heart, abandoned him like he meant nothing. But for some reason he trusts that Eddie would have never slid into him, warm and bare and familiar, if there was a cause for concern. 

He's always lost his fucking mind when he came to Eddie. That not changing today is no fucking surprise, not really.

Steve angles himself so Eddie's bumping his prostate, over and over, and it's just too much, too good, and Steve tenses, coming all over Eddie's belly. But he keeps grinding down on Eddie's cock, determined to get him over the edge, too.

Eddie groans, hand squeezing Steve's hip, "I'm gonna come."

"Do it," Steve breathes out, and Eddie does. Shoving up into him as far, and as hard as he can, and Steve tilts his head back, enjoying that this moment has happened for them, one more time.

He collapses onto Eddie's chest, laughing the way he always has after good sex, Eddie's softening cock still inside him, and Steve's not about to pull away yet.

The door opens, and Steve pops up to look to see who has found them.

Robin. 

"Goddamnit, dingus," she says from the doorway. He's aware from her angle she can see he's shirtless and debauched. She can't know that Eddie's still in him, soft, but unwilling to extract himself.

"I take it that asshole ex of yours is under you?"

"Hi, Robbie," Eddie says, still unseen by her, from his place on the couch under Steve.

She doesn't respond, ignoring Eddie. Which is to be expected, Steve supposes.

"Get cleaned up. Dustin's realized you're both missing."

Steve watches as Eddie stretches his arm backwards into her view, making the okay sign and she slams the door in response. 

They both laugh, and Steve lays back down on Eddie's bare chest, kissing him again. And again.

"She hates me now," Eddie says, when they break apart.

"With the fire of a thousand suns, yes," Steve answers, tucking his face into Eddie's neck. Robin and Eddie used to be friends, best friends, but when Eddie cut and ran, Robin wrote him off swiftly, with finality, and without remorse. Steve appreciated the loyalty. And he's gonna need it, tomorrow. Because he knows this was just one night, one mistake, but he's gonna milk it for all that it's worth since he's already in for a penny.

"We really have to make an appearance," Eddie says, and Steve whines at the idea. But he lifts up, Eddie's cock sliding out of him for the last time. At least he knows this time. At least he can brace for the impact.

But Eddie has other ideas.

"We'll be seen, we'll congratulate the kid, and then I'll take you back to bed, and show you how much I've missed you."

Steve nods. Yes. That. All of that, please. 

If he only gets one more night, he wants to draw out this long overdue goodbye as much as possible.

"We hadn't even had dinner," Dustin admonishes, shoving Steve's shoulder. Eddie puts a hand between them, like this might escalate.

"That's my bad, kid," Eddie says, shit-eating grin on his face.

Henderson is more forgiving. He loves them both. But Robin's glaring daggers through Eddie's back. There's no way he doesn't feel it. Steve can feel it, and it isn't even directed at him.

The party is winding down, and at the first opportunity, Eddie holds out the old leather jacket, helping it up and over Steve's shoulders.

"Steve," Robin says, a warning, and he steps away from Eddie, leaning down, hugging her.

"Let me say goodbye right this time," he pleads and she nods against his cheek.

She hates this, Steve knows she does, but she lets him go. She'll let him make this mistake. Will let him poke at this old, never-healed, wound.

Eddie leads him out the front of the venue. A crowd has gathered. Word must have spread that Eddie Munson was in the building, and now flashbulbs are blinding Steve, and Steve's instinct is to let go. Drop Eddie's hand and run. Hide, get out of sight. But Eddie doesn't let go of his hand. Even as he's guiding them towards the waiting black SUV. 

One of the security guys reaches for the door handle, and Steve sees Eddie rest his hand on his shoulder. The guy immediately backs off, and Eddie opens it for Steve himself. Standing there, looking grown up, and then suddenly his arm pops out, and he dips into a half-bow.

Steve laughs, loud and happy. He's still Eddie. 

He wishes he had a picture. Wants to replay that memory in his mind forever, and he realizes suddenly that he probably can. That in the next ten minutes the entire walk from the building to the car will be uploaded from at least a dozen angles.

There's gonna be story after story of Eddie Munson entering the building alone and re-emerging four hours later with his ex-husband on his arm.

The divider in the car goes up, and they can't keep their hands off of each other.

Steve shifts on the leather. 

"What's wrong?" Eddie asks, pulling back to look in his eyes.

It's only Eddie, so he tells the truth, "I'm leaking."

And Eddie grins, wolfish and wild, "Well. I could take care of that."

The pulse of want goes through Steve. It's filthy and is he really gonna let Eddie eat his ass in a moving car, a driver just on the other side of the barrier?

Yeah, yeah he is.

He moves to his belt, but Eddie's fingers replace his own, "Let me, sweetheart."

And at this point, Steve thinks he'll let Eddie do anything he wants.

The pictures from outside Eddie's building are sure to be obscene. Eddie, mouth red and lips shiny, Steve's hair in utter disarray. The crowd is rowdy, extra loud and demanding, and Eddie seems to be in no hurry. He's smiling, and looking around, as if this is completely normal. 

As if he always hooks up with his ex-husband, rims him in the car, and the waves to the fans, after. He looks happy, thrilled even, instead of annoyed to be caught in the public eye.

Maybe it is normal for him, but it's definitely not for Steve. This was never his life, not even when they were married and Eddie's star continued to rise. Maybe, especially not then. Eddie wanted his private life to be private and that meant Steve was left at home, out of sight. 

Not tonight.

Tonight it's obvious what they've been doing during the car ride. The press will have a field day building a timeline with the pictures and videos.

Eddie holds Steve's hand, tight and protective, leading the charge, but he uses the other to wave. To stop and sign an album. A poster. All while his security tries to wrangle him inside.

"This is Steve," he tells a fan, a camera shoved in his face.

Steve tries to put on a pageant smile, and is certain he's failed. This is fucking bizarre. Has Eddie really changed this much? Then they're moving again, finally making their way towards the door.

"Thank you," Eddie says, looking right at the man holding open the door.

"Mr. Munson," the doorman says, and Eddie shakes his hand, and Steve really thinks the guy wouldn't have if he knew where Eddie's hands have been recently. 

They're taken to a private elevator, and when it opens, it's in the middle of a huge penthouse apartment. 

Which is pretty amazing. The only thing fucking up the view is Gareth on the couch, in his underwear. He's holding a bowl of cereal under his chin, and he accidentally tips it on himself.

"Sorry," Eddie says, "I wasn't expecting to bring home company."

"Oh, that's okay," Gareth answers with a smirk.

"I wasn't talking to you," Eddie laughs, and Gareth grins. "If you got cereal on that couch, clean it up. I'm not smelling sour milk for the next decade every time I sit down."

"Yeah, yeah," Gareth says. 

Then he looks right at Steve.

"Steven," Gareth greets, and Steve gives him a little wave. He's really grown up since Steve saw him last.

Eddie puts his hand on the small of Steve's back, "My bedroom is back here."

It looks like his closet exploded, a familiar mess. Eddie starts picking up clothes off the bed.

"Sorry, I had trouble deciding what to wear tonight," Eddie says, several pairs of black jeans that look identical to Steve slung over his arm. 

His room has a hell of a view. There are floor to ceiling windows, and Steve stands there and looks over the city. Eddie's done well for himself. But Steve knew that, never doubted that he would, but it's just something else to see the reality of that with his own eyes.

Eddie wraps his arms around Steve's middle, hugging him from behind, his chin hooked over Steve's shoulder.

Steve closes his eyes and just leans into his touch.

Eddie's hands are all over him. Rough calluses touching, stroking, remapping his skin. Seemingly marking the changes. Steve's face down on the softest, worn-in sheets he's ever felt. They smell like Eddie. They feel like home. 

They aren't fancy, no satin or showy black here, just comfortable gray cotton. The real Eddie, not the persona.

The lights of the city are casting the room in shadow, but Steve doesn't need to see Eddie. He can feel him. 

Eddie is rocking into him, slow and steady. There's no hurry, no racing towards the finish line.

Because this is goodbye, and neither of them are quite ready to let go. Not yet.

When Steve wakes up, it's dark in the room, and Eddie is dead to the world, his hair is fanned out across the pillow. As much as Steve wants to roll over, curl into Eddie's body and go back to sleep, he's aware it's time to go. He doesn't want to do it in the morning when it's awkward and sad. The harsh light of day ruining this. Eddie had shown him how much he'd missed him, as promised, and Steve's gonna carry that with him, feel it for days. 

This is a better ending than they got last time.

He dresses quietly, and Steve's carrying his boots out of Eddie's bedroom, when another door in the hallway cracks open.

"Oh, hell no," is the pronouncement, and Steve turns and looks. Gareth.

"Yeah, well, I love you, too, Gareth," Steve says, as he keeps walking. He doesn't need any lip from this kid. Never has, never will.

But then he's jostled as Gareth forces his way in front of Steve, blocking his path out of the hallway. Standing in front of him, not allowing him to just sneak away in peace. Does there really need to be salt rubbed into the gaping wound? He's going. Maybe he fucked up. Maybe they both did. But it was one night. Closure. Ripping open old wounds. Whatever you want to call it.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Gareth hisses, and Steve just glares at him. 

"Back to my own hotel, back to my own life. What the fuck is it to you?"

And Gareth grabs Steve's boots, yanking them from his hand, one landing with a thunk against the plush carpet. Then he kicks his foot out, banging it against the door they're stopped in front of, like a crazy person.

"What the fuck is your problem, dude?" Steve snaps, and the second door opens. Goodie, then Jeff, standing in the doorway. Why are they all fucking here? Don't they see enough of each other on the goddamn road? Steve tilts his head back, annoyed, "Great. Just great."

"Steve?" Jeff asks. Like he might be someone else.

"Don't you run away from him again!" Gareth hisses, and Steve feels insane. In what universe did Steve ever run from Eddie? 

"What the fuck? Run? Me? I'm the one that ran? I think you've rewritten history there, kid," Steve says, squatting down to pick up his fallen boot.

And Gareth shoves his shoulders, knocking him off-balance and onto his ass. 

Oh, Steve's gonna kill him.

But Eddie gets there first.

"What in the actual fuck?!" Eddie screams, getting in between Gareth and Steve as Steve puts on the one boot he has control over.

Eddie attempts to wrestle the other away from Gareth, bullying him around the hall.

"I was helping you!" Gareth yells, ducking under Eddie's arm, darting to the side, but that allows Goodie to easily snag the boot being held hostage during the evasive maneuver. He turns it over to Jeff, who hands it down to Steve, waiting for him to get it pulled on, and then helps him to his feet.

Ushering him past Eddie roughhousing Gareth against the wall, making him squawk and squall. Not a thing has changed. It'd be funny if it wasn't so ridiculous.

Jeff holds his arm out behind Steve, a protective gesture, and presses the down button for him.

Steve steps in when the door opens, sees Jeff pressing the intercom on the wall, and then the doors close. The last thing he hears before he descends is a hand slapping against the doors, and Eddie's muffled, "No!"

When Steve steps out of the private elevator, the same doorman from earlier is waiting and steps forward.

"Mr. Harrington, this way," he states, and hovers a hand behind his back, just like Jeff had, like Jeff must be so used to this, that now he was doing it himself. He hears the doorman radio for a car to be sent to the escape hatch and Steve thinks that sounds a bit dramatic, but smiles to himself.

So, there's a back entrance they use, but Eddie decided to have them dropped off out front. He wanted them to be seen, and Steve doesn't try to read into that. Tries not to interpret it as a hard launch, as he's led down a long hallway, far away from the front of the building. 

The doorman holds open a door that leads to a flight of stairs that go down, down, down. Steve smiles at him, even if he's a little embarrassed to be slinking off underground in the middle of the night. Maybe the doorman is used to it. Maybe this is part of his regular job, ushering out Eddie's conquests. 

"Steve, wait!" he hears, as Eddie is rushing down the hallway toward them.

"Mr. Harrington," the doorman says, giving him a choice. He surely works for Eddie, especially if he knows who Steve is without having ever met him before, but he's clearly giving Steve an out. 

"It's okay," Steve says, and the doorman takes a step back, as they both watch Eddie run down towards them only in his jeans, barefoot.

The doorman lets Eddie and Steve step into the stairwell, and then closes the door to the hallway, giving them some privacy. Eddie nods towards another door, and then taps his watch against the plate on the wall, lighting it up green, unlocking it. Once he opens it, it's a small balcony. With some sort of dark screen that Steve assumes only works one way. They can see out, but the world can't see in. Eddie's sure living a fancy life.

The fresh, fall air feels nice against his face, and Steve closes his eyes. Eddie pats his pockets, finds what he's looking for, and then lights a cigarette. When it's offered up, Steve takes it. At least on this side of the building, the street is blissfully empty. The crowd from earlier, totally gone. 

It feels normal, and the sounds of the city hum with life down below.

"Don't go, or at least let me walk you out," Eddie says, hand on Steve's forearm, and he keeps talking, "Are you okay?"

Steve laughs, "Just plotting Gareth's demise."

"I'll help," Eddie says, a small grin on his face. Then he looks serious, "He shouldn't have shoved you."

"I just didn't have my center of balance, and he took advantage like a little shithead."

"Still," Eddie says.

Steve's not mad. Trying to be forced to stay is way better than being encouraged to leave.

"It's fine. He just didn't want me to run again," Steve says, raising an eyebrow, and he smiles when Eddie cackles. "You been telling stories?"

"No. Well, of course, but not about that. He knows what really happened. He's just-"

"Your Robin," Steve fills in.

"Yeah. How is Robbie? We didn't really get a chance to catch up."

Steve laughs, Robin would have eviscerated him had he tried.

"Good, great. Happy. Well, probably not tonight. She doesn't want to clean up any more messes you and I make with each other. But good, otherwise."

Eddie just stares at Steve, eyes unwavering.

"What?" Steve finally asks.

"What if we don't make any more messes?" Eddie asks, big, brown eyes looking into Steve as if he can see his soul if he stares hard enough.

"Eddie," Steve says.

"Seriously. What if we do it right this time?"

"Are you not still on the road?" Steve asks, because he knows the answer to that, and Eddie's a lot more famous than he was the last time he thought he needed to leave Steve in the dust.

"Yeah, but not in the same way. I'm older. Wiser."

"You sure about that?" Steve teases.

"Let a guy dream," Eddie banters back, then adds, "Let a guy make up for his sins."

"Well, you do have plenty of those," Steve teases.

"I do," Eddie admits, then reaches out to squeeze Steve's arms, "But I'm ready. For you. For this," he says, hand sliding down to brush against Steve's wedding band. "How 'bout it?"

Like it's that easy. Like there won't be conversations to have, and the same old problems to tackle. Like there isn't deep-seated hurt to smooth over, overcome.

But none of that matters. Not really. 

Because, yeah. Steve's ready for it, too. 

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiesongfics and follow along with the fun! 🎶

Notes: If you're familiar with the song by Taylor Swift, you'll have recognized where several of the lyrics popped in. (And other songs from Taylor's discography as well.) I love these song challenges, since music inspires me to write things SO often.

This got way longer than I intended. I was gonna write it jointly for this and "wrath" over at @corrodedcoffinfest, but 1313 words went by way too fast, haha. 🤣

[peppermintquartz]

some possible midseason bucktommy angst:

Tommy gets into an accident at work partially because he got a little cocky. He's okay, but Buck finds himself overwhelmed (he doesn't fall to pieces, not until Tommy's safe, and then he just crumples at home alone in the loft) by what could have been, and the fact that Buck would not have been anywhere close enough to try to save him, not like he was able to save Christopher and Eddie when they were in danger.

So he tells Tommy he wants to break up (so that neither of them will have to feel the worst kind of heartbreak).

It kinda blindsides Tommy, who naturally assumes the worst, and he tries to get Buck to tell him why but Buck just says "It's not you, it's me" and then he clams up and avoids him.

Over the next two, three episodes we hear voicemails that Buck doesn't delete but never replies to, sees some texts, and Tommy finally comes to the station but Buck hides from him until a job rolls in, and Buck quickly goes out to work, pretending he doesn't see Tommy's devastated expression.

Unfortunately in the meantime the people who can talk sense into Buck are occupied with their own shit - Hen and Karen with the councilwoman, Eddie with being on his own in his adult life for the first time in forever and discovering himself, Bobby not at the station and not really able to observe Buck, Chimney and Maddie having some trouble with their daughter maybe (not that I want harm to come to Jee-yun but she's so cute, so something will, if my writer's instincts are correct).

Then Tommy accidentally sees Buck and Eddie hugging and thinks that Buck got together with Eddie and gets super jealous. Tommy asks Eddie out for a spar but doesn't ask Eddie anything about the hug, he just keeps fighting and not pulling his punches or kicks, and finally when it gets too heated and they're pulled apart, Tommy spits out that he isn't ever giving up on getting Evan back. Then Eddie realizes what happened and he clarifies matters with Tommy.

Then Eddie is on Tommy's side to get Buck and Tommy to reconcile. Then Buck is hurt quite seriously because of poor leadership and Tommy almost assaults Gerard after he rescues Buck; he's stopped only because Chimney and Athena and Eddie hold him back.

He rushes to the hospital, but Buck doesn't want to see him. Tommy is beyond frustrated, because he doesn't know what he did wrong, and he wants to make it right, and he begs Maddie and Chimney to help. Maddie goes in and sits with her brother, who finally confesses that he's really afraid that if he'll loses Tommy while they're together, he won't be able to take it.

"I live with that thought every day," Maddie tells him, stern and wise and kind. "And I have two of you to worry about. Every time you and Chim are at work, my heart is with you. Should I leave Chimney then, because he might die on the job?"

"What? No, of course not!"

"Then why are you doing this to Tommy?" Maddie is very gentle and she kisses the top of her little brother's head. "I'm gonna let him in, and you're going to talk this out with him, ok?"

Tommy comes into the ward, Buck takes his hand, and they finally have some time alone.

"I thought you'd thrown me over for Eddie," Tommy admits. "I know you two are close."

"I was just afraid I'd lose you and not be able to save you," Buck says. "I didn't want you to feel how I felt that day. I thought I could protect you from that pain."

"We won't have to worry for a bit, seeing how you're in hospital and I, uh, I may be suspended for threatening to assault a captain."

"You did that? For me?"

Then it's them saying sorry for being stupid and then making up, and that's when Tommy says, "I love you, Evan Buckley, and nothing will keep me safer than knowing I have you to come home to."

So that's how they split and reconcile and how Tommy gets to say 'I love you' first

[aritsukemo]

Heyyy! I hope the requests are open and im not putting too much work on your shoulders...

Anyways, this is my first ever time requesting... ANYTHING at all so i hope this is a not-so-hard or something that i shouldn't request (if not or you just don't feel like doing this request do NOT respond/do this request. I don't want to cause you burnouts or anything...)

Okay.. so...

May i request OMORI main gang x reader (all separate ofc) how long did it take for them to get comfortable around their s/o fully and how do they act in the developed relationship?

Thank you for your time! ^^

How long would it take the Omori Gang to become comfortable with their s/o? Well..

( @weed-stoner )

Warnings: Spoilers ahead! ( Implied in others and blatantly stated in Aubrey's part )

A/N: I AM SOOOOO INCREDIBLY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! I started this shortly after you requested it but then things happened and I had a little dry spout with Omori and forgot about it completely. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this! ( And again, I am SOOO sorry, love! 😅)

I'd say, based on their level of openness, the ranking of how quickly they'd become comfortable with their significant other would look something like this..

Kel

Mari

Hero

Aubrey

Sunny

Basil

And here's why..

Kel is the type of person who can vibe with anyone as long as they aren't a horrible person. ( Or act like Mikhael. Even then there's a chance. )

I'd say give it maybe a couple weeks? He's never been in any kind of relationship like this one so he may act a little different than usual for a while. Once that's over though, he's pretty much the same eager ball of sunshine! He'll always want to nag them to come out and enjoy the world with him and will do everything in his power to be around them! After all, it's way more fun hanging with them than being at home..

Now this can be up for debate, but I think Mari wouldn't take long at all to grow comfortable with her significant other. In her opinion, communication and trust are key parts to any lasting relationship so she doesn't mind coming to you when she's a little bothered by things. ( Which happens more times than one may think )

I see her taking maybe around a few months ( like three to four ) before completely letting the person in. It's nothing personal, she just wants to gauge their personality and see whether or not this relationship will be able to last.

Now, Mari doesn't act much different when she's comfortable with people. Subtle things do change though. For example, her smile seems more relaxed and she gets less upset when making mistakes around that person. Their presence soothes her and as a result, she's less uptight around them.

For Hero, it really depends on when he got into the relationship. If it was before his relationship with Mari, which is not likely, he's not that much different to Kel. He'll spend a lot time with the person and pretty much tell them anything and everything. If it's after his relationship with Mari, which is more likely, it'll be much different.

You see, Hero has experienced heartbreak in one of the worst possible ways and it'll take time for him to heal. That being said, I really don't see him dating anyone until that happens, but let's say that he does. Realistically, it take quite some time which can vary from a few months to a year to way longer than that.

Now, Hero is still Hero so he'll treat whoever he dates with the kindness and respect that they deserve and will do everything he can to make sure they're happy and healthy, ( both physically and mentally ) however when it comes to verbalizing his own emotions, that's where we hit a nail. Whoever he dates would have to be very patient with him otherwise it may cause him to put even more walls up.

When he's finally comfortable around them, it'll show. He'll start telling them things he wouldn't before and'll even rant to them about his problems occasionally. He'll be way more open with his partner and'll be just a tad bit ( a lot ) more clingy than he used to.

Aubrey is a rather tough cookie. Ever since Mari died and everyone distanced themselves, forcing her to cope with everything alone, she has never truly let her walls down in front of others. And, if someone attempted to break down those walls, she'll grow defensive and even violent towards that person.

How long it would take Aubrey to even be comfortable enough to date someone really depends on the personality. Like, I see her letting her guard down quicker if the person is more kind and patient with her like Mari rather than someone's who's short-tempered or rough around the edges like her.

When Aubrey is comfortable around her significant other, she'll be less afraid to tell them how she feels. She'll vent to them, but because of that, she'll be more shy towards them. Aubrey'll also hold that person in higher regard than others and'll hold them close to her heart. When they scold her, she actually listens and tries to do better. If they're upset, she'll be the first to notice and'll be there to listen to them rant/help them out in any possible way. And, she'll always try to make sure that her little fights and other violent affairs never mesh and disturb the person's daily life. In a way, she sees this relationship as a way to pay them back for putting up with her for so long so she'd pretty much do anything for that person.

Sunny's next and oh boy..

I honestly don't see him indulging in any kind of romance with anyone unless him and that person were like childhood friends—I'm talkin' never leaving each other's side, seen everywhere together type of close childhood friend with someone—and even then, it's hard to imagine post-traumatized him feeling comfortable around anyone besides his former friends, let alone a relationship. But for the sake of this, let's say he does..

I can't put a time limit on how long it'll take him simply because I see it depending on which ending we're talking about. Obviously if we're talking about any of the bad endings, he's pretty much a lost dead cause. He's not going to make any attempt to open up to them and no matter how much they may try, there will always be distance between them. Now, if we're talking about good ending Sunny, the person actually has a chance.

There will be a lot of trial and error simply because Sunny's used to keeping things bottled up. He's not used to being upfront and truthful and he's only used to running away and not facing his problems. That being said, I see the process quickening a bit if the person he's dating is super gentle and patient with him. If they just gave him time, and a tiny push here and there, he'll come around. And when he does, he'd be stuck to them like glue.

I feel like he'd make it known with his body when he's truly comfortable around his partner. Whether his shoulders noticeably slump in their presence or maybe he lets his guard down enough to hold you or lean on you. Just something that'll let the person know that he feels truly safe around them! I see him being sorta touch-hungry and expressing it once he's comfortable with that person by giving them a bunch of hugs and cuddles and such.

And hey, maybe he'll even talk! ( Nah I'm playing BAHAHA- )

Finally, we have our sweet boy Basil. The gardening genius that carries a ginormous bouquet of trauma wherever he goes..

It's easy to say that whether the person was his friend prior to the incident or not, it'll take forever for Basil to truly feel comfortable around them.

If they were his friend prior to the incident, well, it all really depends. Was he close ( closer than he was with the others ) with them before the incident occurred? Did they distance themself from the group like everyone else? Did they stick to him and never let him go? Depending on what the person does all depends on how long it'll take. To me, I definitely feel like Basil would spill everything eventually if the person decided to stick with him when everyone grew apart and, as a result, would become sort of this unhealthy lifeline to Basil. Since they'd be the one he confides in about everything, it would grow to the point that they'd be the one thing keeping him together. He'd be at their mercy, and in a way, they'd be at his and nothing would really change until probably after the truth comes out ( if it were to come out ) and Basil got the proper help he needs.

If they weren't his friend before the incident, good luck. They'd be lucky enough to even get a full conversation from him, much less get him to be their friend and harbor any kind of romantic feelings for them. But let's say that is the case. Let's say that through some stroke of luck they managed to befriend Basil and eventually end up in a relationship with him. The person is going to have to put up with a lot. Basil is a very sensitive person and all it takes is one bad interaction for him to completely shut them out. They'd have to tread very lightly ( but not too lightly; if they don't try enough, the relationship's not getting anywhere ) or else they'll end up back at square one. I see this taking years ( specifically four or more ) and really, I only see him completely growing comfortable with the person after some extensive therapy.

When he's finally, fully comfortable with them, he'll be way more verbal and open. The fear of being rejected/judged would've been less apparent and slowly pushed to the back of his mind. Being with them for so long, ( and having gotten at least some bit of therapy since I literally don't see this happening otherwise ) he's grown to trust them to some extent. He's also grown to love rambling to them about whatever's on his mind. Whether that be about flowers or things much darker. I see him craving their touch and he wouldn't mind asking. ( But not too many times, he's still Basil after all ) I see those two spending so much time together that Polly would see them as an extension of the household. ( She'd fix them dinner every evening and would grow concerned if they didn't show up to get it and say hey to Basil. That's how much they'd be together. )

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[painted-bees]

I went looking for a list of OC questions that had a majority of things I hadn't answered yet wrt the hi-note trio, and found this lil' one abt "love and relationships" lmao I'm not gonna make anyone submit a number in my ask box for it, it's only 15 questions. I'll just answer them all for Margie and Raf under the cut.

1) How does your character view the idea of romantic love? Raf's got a complicated relationship with it. He's a very romantic person, and wants desperately to believe in the whole "true love "thing-- to believe that someone could love him just because it was predestined for them to do so, or because of some hard coding in their DNA or whatever--and that it'd work the same way for him, too. Just effortless, unquestionable, natural and unbreakable love. But that doesn't exist, it's a fantasy. People don't get into relationships unless there's something tangible in it for them--and then it's a tug-o-war of compromises and capitulations, and it's impossible to imagine anyone ever being truly happy and comfortable under the weight of an obligation as undefinable as 'love'. And so, he figures he'll be lucky if he can find someone he can tolerate, who can tolerate him--who might, once in a while, give him the euphoric feeling of being valued as a person rather than as an asset. And hopefully, those moments can outweigh the inevitable fights and disagreements, and all the emotional damages that arrive in those situations. As for Margie, there's no clear distinction between romantic love and platonic love for her, much of the time. She loves her friends all very intensely, and she loves her romantic partners in very much the same way! Her expressions of love do not change much between friends and lovers--and maybe for this reason, people who take the plunge into being a committed romantic partner with her find her to be somewhat underwhelming. There is very little difference between Margie as a friend and Margie as a romantic partner. There is very little difference between her definitions of these two things. Arguably, she's a very loving--but not a very romantic--person. She doesn't believe in soulmates or true love or any of these things, either. It feels too limiting. It puts so much unnecessary pressure on a single person and needlessly mystifies something that really shouldn't be all that strange or complicated.

2) What was your character's first heartbreak, and how did it influence their approach to relationships? Raf's first heartbreak, romantically...hm. He had a few friends who grew up with him, most of whom were also part of the junior classical music circuit; some of whom he kept in contact with even as his career pivoted away from the classical niche and into pop performance. I think perhaps there was one lass who he might have returned to Monaco for rather than fucking off to Juilliard--if she had returned his affections. He had confessed to her over the phone, just after being announced as a semi-finalist for a large, televised popular music competition. She asked him to call her again after the competition was over, when he was gonna come home. He didn't make it as a finalist, and she never answered his calls then after. So he followed his initial plans and absconded to Juilliard with a different friend who he awkwardly...briefly fell in with romantically instead. Who knows why she never answered his calls, but Raf has no doubt attributes the fact that he didn't make it as a finalist to the reason why she stopped talking to him. That was kinda the first and last time he made the first 'move' for a romantic relationship, and has since taken a much more disinterested, aloof approach...as with most things, really. Margie's first heartbreak was in grade five! She had a huge crush on a boy one grade above her, and mentioned it within earshot of one of her classmates from the 'popular' clique. Those girls got really excited for her and offered to help set her up on a date with him, got him to come over and ask her out during recess, and when she provided a very overenthusiastic, "yes!", Margie found that she had only been set up as the butt of a very hilarious joke between the lot of them. In that same interaction, the lad coined a new name for her, "FleaGirl", and it stuck all the way until she graduated highschool. It's still one of those embarrassing moments that crop up in her brain during the Midnight Carousel of Shame that keeps her awake during restless nights. As a teen, she started flirting with people as a joke, cuz that's her affection could really be–and she delighted in weirding people out with the overfamiliarity she performed. It felt nice though, when the other person would volley back and try to out-skeeze her. She still doesn't know how to flirt in earnest, and will always make a joke out of her affections. It's always kinda up to the other person to respond sincerely if they're actually interested in her.

3) Does your character believe in soulmates, and why or why not? HAH woops, I accidentally answered this in the first question lmao

4) What traits does your character find most attractive in others? Raf values honesty and genuine expression. He really...really loves joyful, unironic cringe. Like, there's something really attractive to him about a person who can let their guard down in order to fully enjoy something. He's really attracted to people who seem impervious to expectation and can cut through what he perceives as the superficial, performative gestures of day to day interactions. Sometimes that takes the form of a counter cultural "I don't care what they think of me" rebellious personality. Sometimes it takes the form of, well...[[gestures at Margie]]. Also, he'd never admit this, but Raf is attracted to messes that he can clean up. Margie is attracted to nice hair, cute smiles, and warm kindness. Unprovoked kindness towards her is the fastest way to make her fall in love with you. The other is casual, affectionate physical touch. She is not immune to a well groomed sense of style and easy confidence, either. If someone is well dressed with nice hair, a straight, open posture, and a warm smile--that's an attractive looking person to her.

5) What does your character fear most in a relationship? For Raf, it's expending his usefulness and being discarded. In every relationship, he's waiting for that one chance to prove that he can't give, or be, or provide what his partner was hoping to get out of him. Or maybe they finally get what they were after and don't need to keep suffering the act of 'loving' him anymore. Or maybe something better will come along and make him redundant. He's always waiting for that other shoe to drop. His biggest fear is just learning that his partner was only pretending to love him, so as to pacify him while they extract from him whatever it is they wanted. For Margie, she's terrified of overstaying her welcome. She feels like as soon as she gets into a relationship a timer starts ticking down where, every day, she starts becoming a little less cute, a little less fun, a little more annoying, a little more difficult to live with. She's identified herself as a kind of 'manic pixie dream girl' that people initially enjoy because she's weird and quirky and playful. But the more time they spend with her, the less fun those things are. She never stops being weird and quirky and playful. There's no point where she is able to get serious and organise herself, and behave like a normal adult. No one wants to live with that for very long.

6) How does your character handle jealousy or insecurity in relationships? Margie has no jealousy. She's straight up chill to let her partners have other relationships or flings or whatever so long as they don’t lie to her about it. And she’s extremely trusting about this. Her insecurity about her own lack of desirability probably played a huge part in developing this polyamorous stance, but she genuinely does feel very comfortable and secure in it. Raf [[gritted teeth]] deals with it. Not very well, in previous relationships. Poorly, in fact. The very uncommitted, open ‘friends with benefits’ relationship he had with Margie for a while before he eventually admitted to himself that he really needs her to stay in his life–has done a lot of weird psychological lifting for him. There’s a really strong precedent for Margie to be honest with him about the nature of all her relationships. On top of this, she doesn’t have locks on her phone, she makes him hold her phone most of the time. She doesn’t care if he reads her messages or checks her emails [he Does Not Do This, if only for the exercise in restraint]. If he’s having the Weird Paranoia about Margie, the thought that “well, she’d let me go through her messages right now if I asked” is enough to leverage himself with. Sometimes he does ask, and she’s just like “sure, w/e”--and he pacifies himself on that without feeding the impulse further. And so, the paranoia usually picks a far more fruitful subject to latch onto.

7) What past relationship still impacts your character's current life?

  Raf is still comparing and contrasting his current relationship with Margie to his previous relationship with Lacey…and has been learning a lot about himself through the differences. Lace was arguably his only other “real”/serious relationship before Margie, and it was such an absolute trainwreck. But it’s also just what he assumed relationships were Like. Nowadays, he kinda dreads ever meeting with Lacey again because most of what he has learned is that he absolutely could have, should have treated her better, and she deserves an apology.

 Margie still thinks about her ex girlfriends in Montreal. She just really misses them a lot…She’d love to rekindle those friendships, and thinks there might still be a chance to do so, some day.

8) How does your character show love and affection?

  While Raf hates to have things expected of him, treating and gift-giving is genuinely his biggest show of affection. It stops the moment he feels like he’s being taken for granted, or as soon as he gets even the faintest whiff of entitlement. He doesn’t take kindly to being “hinted” at any more than he appreciates being straightforwardly asked for gifts or favours. It’s the fastest way to get him to withdraw. But If he gifts things and he feels like the gesture is genuinely unexpected and appreciated–it’s almost kind of a bond-strengthening exercise in of itself. He enjoys being helpful and feeling needed and appreciated, he just pathologically hates being taken advantage of or used. So–like…a lot of love and trust goes into the act of Raf giving something. It puts him in a vulnerable position, because the way the gesture is received will forever colour his perception of the relationship and can really…make or break it for him–beyond reasoning or any logical recourse.

 Margie shows her love and affection with physical closeness and careful patience. If there is someone she exceptionally loves and loves being around, she takes a lot of extra measures to make sure she doesn’t overwhelm them with her presence and she tries to really reign in how she acts around them so as to not be unpalatable. But she’ll drop her head on their shoulder or throw her legs across their lap. She’ll hold onto their arm while walking, and lean against them in casual settings. She just wants to exist in the same space, and reciprocated touch is a comforting reassurance that they do, as well.

9) What significant change has your character experienced in their understanding of love?

 The biggest thing Raf has so far learned is that love isn’t a tug-o-war of compromises and capitulations after all. If you love someone, you genuinely want them to feel safe and happy and secure, and so you’ll give things up and change your behaviour willingly for their sake with very little sense of loss about it. They’ll do the same for you, and neither will keep score about who gave up what, or who was willing to do the most work for the relationship. In the end, it’s not about him vs her or who gets to live ‘better off’ in the arrangement–but it’s a matter of collaborating to build a comfortable, happy environment together. One’s happiness is the other’s happiness. Not a competition, not a game of carefully measured concessions. A better whole.

  Margie has learned that she has a lot more to offer in a relationship than she thought; that emotional labour is an enormous contribution to a partner who is able to appropriately value it. Just because it comes easy to her doesn’t mean it’s worthless. Her love and affection is not a joke; it has meaning, it has worth. It’s worth a whole lot. 

10) What sacrifices has your character made for love, and were they worth it?

  Raf has to sacrifice his entire sense of safety and wellbeing every time he commits to a relationship. And, just this once, it’s been worth it.

  For each person that Margie has pursued as a romantic partner, she has sacrificed a friendship and definitely mourns each one. Raf is the first time she’s not had to sacrifice anything.

11) How does your character's cultural or familial background influence their views on marriage and relationships?

  Oh man lmao Raf’s Monegasque billionaire family dynasty…his parents genuinely really really love each other, but he has had very limited exposure to that. I don’t think he has ever seen them hug or hold hands, they stand very attractively next to each other and exude an imposing aura that commands respect. So…his idea of what marriage and relationships should look like is severely lacking. “Absolutely No PDA” has definitely stuck with him though.

  Margie’s from a lower income northern Ontario blue collar family with a dad who probably still makes “ol’ ball and chain” jokes about his wife, and a mom who does all the cleaning and cooking and doesn’t really get to enjoy her hobbies outside of the house. Actually, in a small way, this has probably contributed to Margie’s lack of enthusiasm towards getting married. She doesn’t wanna be anyone’s ball and chain, she doesn’t want to cook and clean, she doesn’t want kids. She’s written herself off as being absolutely unfit for marriage. She thinks she’d be an abysmal wife lmao

12) Does your character have a relationship that everyone else misunderstands?

No lmao everyone around them understood Raf and Margie’s relationship better than they did themselves for a long while lmao.

13) How does your character handle rejection or unrequited love?

  Raf has only really had to deal with this once, and he got pretty spiteful mad about it at the time. He also holds a mean grudge just…generally…so I do not think he’d be excited to ever meet her again.

 After the initial emotional gut-punch, Margie suffers a lot of shame and embarrassment and gets really depressed and quiet for a few days until something new and shiny comes along to divert her attention away. Anytime she randomly remembers a rejection though, she gets to re-experience it all again for a brief moment lmao stings.

14) What lesson about love is your character still trying to learn?

  Raf is still trying to really honestly believe that it can be this easy. He’s still waiting to hear what the catch is.

  Margie still has to fully internalise that the people who love her don’t find her annoying and will never tire of her–and that she doesn’t have to apologise for existing as a person with wants and needs

15) How has your character's professional life affected their romantic relationships?

  For Raf, it has severely limited his options–he refuses to date fans, past and present. If they recognize him as a public figure, but aren’t from a similar economic background as him, it’s basically a write-off in his mind. Eligible peers are hard to find…

 For Margie, it’s uh…homelessness definitely complicates things. All of her relationships prior to Raf were plagued with financial stress…and that can probably be cited as a major reason as to why most of her relationships fell apart.

[yandere-yearnings]

I know Laurent intro isn’t out yet, but if it’s ok can we have a bit of info about him? I really need to know if he is the pathetic type WHO SAID THAT

I understand if you want to keep the info secret until he makes his debut!

ask and you shall receive nonnie, i will absolutely give you more info abt him😌✨️ also, thank you for sending this in, anything concerning laurent always makes me the happiest🥺🩷 he'll hopefully be debuting soon btw!! his intro is mostly written, now i just need to salvage some time to actually finish it😔💔 and yes, he is definitely pathetic haha i will be expanding on that at a later date

With the way Laurent keeps up public appearances, it would be ridiculous for most to entertain the idea that he works in a field where there's more graves than grass. Under scrutiny, his smile alone is enough for people to turn a blind eye to the blood that stains his skin.

Somehow, he's even managed to claim the title of communal grandson amongst the elderly, and he's dutiful to it too — ever ready to lend a helping hand where needed.

Charming, charismatic, the textbook definition of 'sunshine' whose warmth will undoubtedly melt the coldest of hearts. Rival organisations fear his magnetism will lure away their best workers.

The unequivocal respect he commands wasn't built on power and influence alone, though they were important contributors. If you were to ask any of Laurent's men why they'd take a bullet for him so easily, they'd tell you it's because never once in their lives has anyone showed them as much compassion and sincerity as him.

To those under his wing, he's the reliable older brother that never lets them down. There is security with Laurent; in the way he listens, and the way he protects. Since he's aware of being a home to many, he hides how hard he has to toil to keep the roof from caving in.

Clover knows, ever his trusted right-hand. They've been best friends since childhood, so she's the only one who he can't fool. He depends on her for a lot of things — she insists he does. He tells her about how much he wishes this wasn't his reality, tells her about his guilt, his heartbreak. He tells her all about you.

As full as his heart is to pour out to others, love has never been good to him. Desensitised in a world of death and deceit, it's the only thing he's truly afraid of. He wants to trust you. Laurent thinks you'd be able to fix him.

That being said, it takes a lot of persistence and coaxing to get him to take your advances seriously. He's the type of person who'll pamper you with extravagance, but can't seem to understand why you'd ever want to return the favour.

Over time, you might just notice Laurent's habit of keeping the things that make him happy the furthest from him. If you ever ask him why, he'll deflect and change the subject — something Clover will tell you he does when he feels vulnerable. In any case, that'll be the first and last instance you'll see his eyes unmatching the rest of his cheerful façade.

Although not a quality that matches his job, Laurent is surprisingly gentle. He likes animals, and nature, and reading books under the low light cast from his lamp — a gift from the owner of the oddities shop in his hometown. You could join him, he'd never say no.

He has a lot of scars, and a lot of tattoos to cover them up. He knows he's got nothing to be embarrassed about, if anything, they're signs of loyalty. It's just, sometimes, all he wants to do is pretend he lives a normal life.

In the middle of the night, the stack of towering papers on the desk his sole company, Laurent finds himself thinking about you more often than not.

If there was no duty tied to his name, if he were anyone else and less of a coward trapped within constant tragedy, he'd have liked to reach out. He'd have liked to hold your hand.

[fanofstuff01]

Right. Angst time. And a new au!

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 you should see this to- both of you get ready for my class presentation.

It's called Return to the Dirt au.

It takes place in Eden, Lucifer was the closest relationship Adam has literally ever had and will have. Not even Lilith, Eve or God could come close to it.

He loved Lucifer, but he had no idea what love was but he knew he felt something deep for Lucifer.

But as the months go by, Lucifer stops coming by to see him, and Lilith is always gone when he wakes up. He's never been able to find them, so he decides to leave them alone, thinking they'll come to him when they want to see him. Except they never come.

Adam eventually finds them under the tree. They both say hurtful things to him, but it's everything that Lucifer said that hurt him the most. Lucifer said he deserves to be punished for how he treats Lilith and that he wasn't good enough for either of them. That he'll never love him.

Adams emotions and thoughts were already all over the place because of the loneliness, he even stopped eating. Not even the other angels had come to see him. So, with Lucifer and Lilith's words and betrayal, his mind and body gave up. The animals found him dead by the waterfall.

No one knew Adam was gone for weeks. It wasn't until Lucifer was in Heaven one day and was asked to make a report on Adam, seeing as the other angels hadn't had time. Lucifer really didn't want to, but he wasn't about to slack on his duties in case he was banned from Eden.

He flew down to Adam and found him leaning against a rock, surrounded by animals. Lucifer hid and watched him for hours. He never moved.

Feeling worried, Lucifer went and knelt next to him. Trying to make small talk and jokes. When Adam didn't respond, he said a few insults.

Picking up a pebble from he bank of the lake, he threw it at Adam. It hit his arm, which turned to dirt. Adam didn't move. Lucifer was beyond freaked out at this point and ran to Adam, grabbing his other hand, which also turned to dirt as soon as he touched it. Fully panicked, Lucifer needed to see his eyes. He touched his face, it didn't crumble, and he was actually able to tilt his head up.

His eyes were somehow full of pain while being lifeless, he didn't say anything, and Lucifer couldn't hear his heart. Then his face turned to dirt and slipped out of Lucifers fingers. The rest of his body followed, becoming a pile on the bank of the pond. Every animal went crazy, howling and wailing, but Lucifer noticed none of it. He still stood, his hands in the same position of cupping what was Adams face. He couldn't see his eyes anymore.

Heaven found out about Adam, and every angel was devastated. This wasn't supposed to happen! How was the first man able to die? Death hadn't been a possibility yet for the first humans. Heaven eventually found out it was because of the pain and heartbreak caused by what Lucifer and Lilith did. So they handed out their punishment of banishing them to Earth.

Making Eve from some of Adam's dirt, they remade him afterwards. Adam has no memories of his life before dying, he was basically reset. He didn't feel love for Eve but he cared for her. He didn't know what love was.

Lucifer was ecstatic to hear that Adam was remade with a new woman in Eden, so he broke in to see them. He found Eve at the forbidden tree, and Adam was in the field below, picking flowers for her.

Lucifer introduced himself quickly to Eve before taking off to see Adam, Eve couldn't help but smile and watch the two men. As soon as she saw Lucifer tumble to the ground, she started to worry.

Lucifer was calling Adams name before he even arrived to him. He latched onto his arm instantly, repeating how sorry he was. That was until he was thrown off his arm. Looking up, he saw Adam looking around urgently, while holding his arm.

Adam: Eve! Was that you?

Eve was just as confused, she clearly saw the ex angel hug Adam before he freaked out and flicked him off. She watched as Adam looked around, gripping the picked flowers close to his chest.

Eve: not me, love. It was the angel!

Adam looked back at her, completely confused.

Adam: What angel?

Lucifer watched on. Was he joking? Heaven said he didn't remember anything before dying, was he ignoring him?

Lucifer: Eve... what's going on?

Eve: I don't know Lucifer, I'm sure he's just joking-

Adam: Evy, who are you talking to?

Eve just stared in disbelief before looking at Lucifer.

Eve: the angel, darling... Lucifer

Adam: there's no angel, are you feeling okay?

Adam quickly walked away from Lucifer who was still lying in the flowers. Arriving at Eve, he placed the flowers down, and knelt next to her, feeling her forehead.

Adam: you don't feel hot, are you hungry? Thirsty? I can-

Eve: Adam! You just ignored the angel! He's here to see us!

Adam followed where Eve was pointing, which was right at Lucifer. Lucifer sat up, hopeful, and gave a small wave and smile. But Adam looked right through him.

Adam: Eve, there's no angel, I'll go get you something to eat

Adam kissed her forehead and walked off. Eve quickly rushed over to Lucifer, helping him up.

Eve: I'm sorry Luci, I don't know what's gotten into him!

Lucifer held it together for Eve, saying it wasn't her fault, and that he'll come by again in a few days. Once out of ear shot of Eve, he broke down. Heaven made Adam unable to see or hear him. He was completely invisible to him.

---

When Adam dies at the extermination, it happens again. Lucifer goes up to Adam, to pay his respects. He hurts for the first man, Lucifer didn't touch him apart from hitting him off his daughter. Other than that he didn't lay a finger on him, it wasn't a fair fight otherwise. But the way Adam died wasn't fair either way. Being stabbed in the back.

Placing his jacket over Adams head and torso, Lucifer feel back and moved as far away as he could. Adam turned to dirt.

---

A week later, Angel came back to the hotel carrying a naked, human man. Realizing it was Adam, the hotel all had different reactions. The only one that was happy he was alive was Nifty, anither bad boy for her to swoon after. Most wanted to kill him. Alastor wanted to have him as a 'guest' on his radio show.

Alastor: It's only fair! After the hit he landed, I believe i have first dibs~.

Angel: he's fucked us all over, Al.

Husker: should have just left the bastard outside, Angel

Angel: and what? Let him get taken out by some random sinner or overlord? What if the Vees got him, Husk!

Husk: who fucking cares!

Vaggie: I'll end him. Quicker than he deserves-!

Charlie: stop! Please! He's just a man! We'll see what my dad says- until then I'm taking charge of him!

Finding out Adam was alive wasn't a good feeling for Lucifer. There was panic but also hope, maybe he'll be able to see him now?

Standing next to his bed, Adam has been a sleep since he got to the hotel. Seeing him so still and looking exactly like he did in Eden brought back a lot of bad memories for Lucifer.

He slowly reached out and grabbed his hand. Lucifer didn't take his eyes off Adams face as he stired. He was so hopefully, he was almost begging his father lo let his friend see him again.

Adam was looking at him, and in the eyes. Lucifer tightened his grip.

Lucifer: Adam? Buddy? How are you feeling?

Lucifer stared. And stared. And stared. Until Adam stared to look around the room, then back at his wrist. He gave it a few tugs, and started to look scared as he could feel a weight and force gripping and trapping his wrist down. He couldn't see a chain or rope.

Lucifer: A-Adam-? Please- I'm here!

Adam started fully panicking as Lucifer tightened his grab, and reached over and grabbed his other hand.

Soon, Charlie ran in with Vaggie, who had her spear ready.

She managed to pull her dad off, and wipe his tears.

Charlie: dad?! Dad what's wrong?!

Veggie: what did you do!?

Lucifer crushed Vaggies Spear with his magic as she was about to stab Adam. She stumbled back, looking at the king, Charlie was still trying to comfort him.

Charlie: dad! What-

Lucifer: he still can't see him! Heaven's still made me invisible to him! He died! He should be reset- why can't he see me!?

Charlie watched as her dad broke free from her grip, and curl up in the corner of the room. Looking between her dad having a breakdown and Adam having a panic attack, she was lost. She looked to Vaggie. Who looked scared.

---

Yee! Angst! 😝

Okay- bye!

I- I kept this away from the world for 3 weeks.

Punch me.

Anywaay! I LOVE THIS!! How the fuck do you find stuff this wonderful OH MY GOD.

Is it bad that I want Adam to be able to only hear Lucifer when he's crying/apologizing for the damage he's done to his friend? And Adam still can't even see him and is just scared of a weeping ghost only he seems to hear?

Until Lucifer admits and apologizes for EVERY pain he caused on him.

Hundreds of years on Earth. The whole Eden. Everything.

Also Adam needs a hug my god

[icycoldninja]

Hello <3

I wanted to say I'm a big fan of your dmc headcanons.

If you like, could you please write some headcanons about vergil falling in love for the second time after nero's mother?

Like post dmc5 events, with a "human" especially.

Ohh thank you, I'm so glad you enjoy my writing! Here you go, and enjoy! 💜💜

Vergil x Reader moving on from Nero's mother headcannons

-Nero's mom, whoever she may be, was the first woman Vergil had ever found intrigung; the first woman he'd ever given himself to. After she disappeared to wherever it is she went, he was heartbroken, left feeling even more alone than he did before.

-His heart was now like a slab of semi-melted ice sitting outside at night in wintertime; what had melted into water refroze into thin, dangerous, slippery ice.

-Vergil never thought he'd ever get over this heartbreak. He was sure he'd be doomed to wander the earth alone again, just as he'd done before, except now, he was changed. He knew what being loved was like now, making it even harder to live without it.

-When you came along, Vergil got scared. Could he really trust you? Was it safe to trust you? What if you were lying to him? What if you were trying to manipulate him? What if you were using him? What if...you would abandon him too?

-Then he saw how well you got along with Nero and Dante, how friendly and supportive you were to them. If you could be kind to them, surely you could be kind to him?

-But Vergil was still hurting on the inside, and watching you and Nero interact just made it worse. He wanted to trust you. He wanted to get to know his son better; he wanted the three of you to be a happy loving family. But he couldn't work up the courage to say anything because he was scared.

-He continued to observe you, looking for any signs of foul intentions on your part, and thankfully found none. Though his own suspicions weren't quite calmed yet, he was starting to warm up to you.

-He found himself talking to you more than he spoke to anyone else, including his own brother. He enjoyed your company, a lot more than he cared to admit, and loved just sitting there and listening to you go on about your day.

-It took him a long, long time, but he finally accepted that he had fallen in love with you. Despite all his doubting and worrying, Vergil had moved on. He didn't realize it at first, but it was true; he was in love with you.

-He's still afraid to admit it, because he's terrified of being abandoned again, but he'll express his feelings for you in different, more subtle ways.

-Maybe someday, he'll build up enough courage to tell you how he feels, but for now, he'll be your confidant and will watch over you, continuing on as your silent protector.

[yanderend]

All Yandere's reactions to you giving them the silent treatment!

Requested by an anon

— The Detective

Charlie is a rather cold-hearted yandere, if he upset you, he wouldn't care too much.

That being said, he wasn't actually aware he upset you this time— after all, you've never reacted like this before.

He's almost happy about it, getting to see a new reaction out of you. Interesting as always.

'Two can play at that game,' is his thought process, not talking to you or paying you much mind outside of his usual stalking activities.

The Detective really didn't expect you to keep ignoring him for this long, but now it's been a week, and his irritation is starting to show.

His work focus is starting to wane, which is rare for him, but his brain is taken up by intrusive thoughts of worry. He's fine with you being petty for now— but what if you never talk to him again?

What if you try to talk to someone else?!

No, Charlie couldn't handle all his work on you being undone. He'll have to do something.

You find yourself cornered in your home, his arms by your sides as he glares you up and down.

'What do I need to do for you to acknowledge me again, huh?'

You try to move your head away, but he grabs you by the chin and forces you to look at him.

'Just... I just want you to apologise,' you tell him.

'Fine.' He bites his tongue and swallows his pride, refusing to meet your eye. 'I'm sorry. Are you going to talk to me, now?'

'Are you going to let go of me?'

'Youre pushing your luck, sweetie.'

— The Childhood Friend

· She's completely paranoid from the second you start not answering her questions.

This is out of character for you, you wouldn't do this to the one person who's looking out for you, would you?

Eli knows her questioning can be invasive, but whatever hit a nerve with you was only essential knowledge for her! She couldn't live with herself if someone else knew something she didn't— but she's also struggling with the guilt she feels over pushing you on it.

'There's nothing to worry about, okay? There's nobody listening, so just talk to me, already!' She'll plead endlessly.

She doesn't want to blame herself— that would mean she's a bad friend, a bad lover! No, no, it has to be someone elses fault.

So that's what The Childhood Friend leads with, and goes out of her way to construct a fake narrative where someone is clearly manipulating you into not talking to her.

How could she have been so foolish as to let this happen? I guess that means she'll have to keep you on an even tighter leash, for now.

It's all for your protection, of course! No-one should treat you so awfully and lie about your best friend ever again...

'I'm sorry for this, love, but you understand how it is. After all we've been through, you shouldn't just go ignoring me for so long.'

— The Worshipper

At first, it takes a while for him to notice you're trying to give him the silent treatment. It's normal for him to not talk to you for a few days, and just watch from the shadows. He understands that you're a busy person...

It's when he actually makes an attempt at talking to you, and isn't met with the usual chipper response, his world immediately falls apart.

The Worshipper never thought he'd experience heartbreak this catastrophic— all he can think of to justify you not talking to him is that he's being punished by some higher force.

You're his everything, and now you're being taken away from his watchful eye. It's as if his life is crumbling around him.

All those times he told you he loved you, over and over and over, and like his anxieties told him, it was not enough to keep you.

(In reality, you just needed a short break from his advances, but your lack of clarification made him immediately assume that you never wanted to see him again.)

So he makes himself scarce— if his darling doesn't want to see him, he simply won't be seen! Whether that means confining himself to complete solitude, or keeping an even further distance and keeping himself from looking directly at you.

The only way to get him to stop avoiding you is to seek him out, and have a long talk about it all.

The majority of his side will be apologies, and asking how he can repent for acting so overzealous with you— but it's a conversation nonetheless.

— The Queen Bee

• The Queen Bee's starting to regret letting you into her friend group— sure, it may have been an efficient way of raising your status, but now you have people to talk to when you're avoiding her!

'That's just not right at all,' Anya thinks, 'I'm flawless! Even if I slipped up on something, I always make sure to make it charming...'

Above all else, the silent treatment makes her frustrated. Nobody's ever been able to keep it up for long, not her parents, not her friends, nobody! So why were you heing so difficult?

There's no way she'll let her plan be derailed by you not talking to her, she'll try her hardest to find other ways to communicate and make out that the two of you are still together.

Your phone gets blown up on your social media one morning, only for it to be something a little concerning. You knew Anya was rather manipulative when she wanted to be, but this was next level...

People throughout the school had found your personal account and were messaging you with flurries of questions— you didn't even know half these people by name!

What she had orchestrated was a rumour that you had cheated on her, and that's why you were acting strange— but always playing the angel, Anya 'forgave you' for it and you're still in a relationship.

The both of you knew it was completely false, but it was either swallow your pride and talk to her again as if everything was normal, or deal with harassment from all the people who were already jealous of your unearned idol-like status.

The Queen Bee is terrifyingly smart sometimes, but her ecstatic smile when you speak to her again is genuine.

— The Fanclub

★ The moment you don't respond to a text from one of them it's panic— so you can imagine the chaos that ensues when you stop talking to BOTH of them.

You're meant to be! They're meant to be with you! What's gone wrong? What have they done?!

One awful group panic attack later Aurora's managed to get Fortuna in a more comfortable state, but she's not responding outside of nodding or shaking of her head.

Aurora gets angry, and Fortuna gets analytical— a bad combination for you, to say the least.

Borderline kidnappings were common, but Fortuna's got your schedule down to a T, so it's not at all difficult for them to actually stage a full abduction this time.

Aurora has you tied up tight while the other waits patiently in another room, trusting her partner to take care of the situation.

'Why are you doing this to us?' She asks, straightforward with tears brimming in her eyes. She just wants answers.

After you explain that their most recent endeavours were a push a bit too far and made you uncomfortable, Aurora's violent demeanour dampens a bit. She's still a bit aggravated about it all, though; your silence did hurt her girlfriend as well as her.

'You've got to forgive us, you- you have to! You're going to eventually, one way or another so... Just do it, already!'

You can see they've gotten a bit desperate— maybe your silent treatment was a bit too harsh for them.

They were right though, you'd forgive them eventually.

— The Deity

∞ Nitai is already clingy as all hell, so he simply refuses to let you go until you aknowledge him again.

Whatever he did to annoy you, he knew he could make it better— if only you'd let him!

It occurs to him that it might not even be him annoying you. That it might be a build-up of several stresses, and his possessive nature was the breaking point.

If that's the case then... He has to get rid of all those little stresses, so you can go back to focusing all your energy on him!

He's never felt so anxious about anything before, so until you start praising him again he needs an outlet... Murder is an outlet of sorts, yes?

He'll return to your home in the middle of the night, blood soaking his favourite comfy shirt, and cozy up to your sleeping body in some sort of messed-up ritual dedicated to you.

He'll be gone by the time you wake up.

The Deity's main form of coping will come in reminding you of his power— he'll shower you in gifts until you can't ignore him at all!

He can't lose his angel to such a petty disagreement, he refuses.

'My beloved, please, you know how much I need your sweet voice to soothe me. Don't be selfish, now...'

— The Anomaly

As per the agreement, you have to spend time with them. This makes things even more awkward.

The Anomaly does not show empathy to anyone but you, his assignment, so they don't understand why you're so upset over the latest incident.

The silent treatment won't effect them at all; Yvetan knows you don't have a choice but to stay at the facility with them.

As long as they can keep watch of you, and keep you away from the other creatures in the building, they're happy watching you in uncanny silence.

Hours upon hours spent in that room in quiet would drive any normal person mad, so Yvetan tries their best to entertain you, knowing that you won't respond.

'You know, human, it's rather nice having you in here so frequently. You are so much more fun to look after when you're not talking about your work— we should do this more often, yes?'

You'll likely end up more frustrated than they are, so the argument passes quickly.

— The Idol

## The Idol is a bit dense about these things, but picks up on your attitude immediately. You're not the first person to pull this on him.

Jamie being Jamie, he's still going to ignore your personal space and sidle up beside you any chance he gets; but now it's more out of hoping you'll talk to him again than embarrassing you.

Even if you scolded him, that would be good enough to relieve him.

As per usual, he'll abuse his power so that you're not allowed out of whatever filming location you're at. That way you're stuck with him, no matter how you act.

He knows he did something to cause this but... He does a lot of stuff you take issue with, so The Idol isn't sure which one he should apologise for— or if he should even be apologising at all.

'Babyyyyy....' He whines, resting his head on your shoulder, 'What was it this time? C'mon, pleeeaaase?'

You being unable to leave Jamison's vicinity makes it difficult to fully ignore him, but you can at least keep up not talking to him as much.

You're legally his assistant, so he uses that to his advantage as well, making you escort him short distances just to keep touching you and asking you questions.

'What's up next? Oh, a dress rehearsal? You don't mind helping me get dressed again, do you? You know how difficult all those little pieces are...'

It doesn't bother him too much, but he does miss the sound of your voice, and what he hates most is the little noises you make when frustrated or embarrassed by him.

If you keep it up for long enough (more than two days, really) he might get annoyed and be a bit more forceful.

'What's your problem, out with it.' He speaks, pinning your wrists to the walls of his dressing room. 'Was it when I fired that guy for talking to you? You know that was just cause he's a creepy old dude, right? No? Was it the time when I-'

He's trying his best to figure out what caused your silence, but he just ends up digging himself a deeper hole by listing all his crimes against you.

When you do start talking to him again, he acts like it's no big deal, but the days afterwards are filled with him drawing out all of his conversations with you and near-constant toying with you.

[tangledinink]

Hi, I really love your AUs, can't wait to see more!

eEEEE THANK YOU ; w ; this all so sweet and makes me so happy aaaAAAAAA

ask dump below~

he was 5'3" previously, he's now more like five feet maybe a little bit less. if you were to measure him and mikey back to back, mikey would be a tiny bit taller. you can't really tell yet, though, since donnie currently can't stand, and up until now he was constantly on tip-toes. he's also just very underweight right now, which makes him seem even smaller. as he recovers and gains some weight back, he'll seem a bit less itty-bitty.

thank you! ; w ; also while i don't think he's ever, like, straight up wiggled his fingers at a boy, i do think he occasionally gets a little fidgety/twitchy with his hands and fingers when he has a crush. maybe also tends to do little arm/shoulder touches with his outstretched fingers as well when he's flirting. u w u

It's completely gone! his tummy and hips are now just like the other exposed parts of his body, like his arms and legs-- just skin and scales. I don't think it ever actually came up in the main part of the comic, but is illustrated in his reference image in the masterpost! Also don't worry, no ill-effects from being crop-topped. It'll just take a bit of getting used to. (If anything, it's a bit of a boon at the moment for the rest of the fam. A lot of medical care is a lot easier without plastron blocking the patient's entire torso.)

HEHEHE, thank you <3 i love making them wag their tails I think it's so cute and silly... <3 I think Raph (across all AU's, lol) has definitely accidentally hurt himself wagging his tail in excitement on at least one occasion.

Oh gosh. It's hard to say because it's such a spectrum... It would have to be a pretty nasty injury for the witchdoctors to not be able to do something about it. But assuming they can't... Big Mama would never outright ask the Gems to perform on a serious injury, but the twins would definitely feel pressure to continue performing for as long as they possibly could, and to keep recovery time as short as possible. If they had to take time off to heal, they would, (and have in the past,) but they'd definitely be impatient to get back on the field. If the injury is truly so bad that one or both of them can no longer perform, they'd probably both retire, (though extremely reluctantly, and doing so would be incredibly heartbreaking for them and cause them a lot of grief and guilt,) because neither would want to go on without the other. There might be some pushback from Big Mama, though, and the uninjured party could potentially be convinced, with enough time and enough conversations, to make a comeback...

Poorly. It'd probably go about the same way it did for Donnie, except worse the second time around. They'd probably both be in trouble for it-- Leo for keeping things for her, and Donnie because she (correctly) assumes that he's 'influenced' Leo somehow, since he did the same thing first.

he is being SOOOO brave right now... but he can't NOT. not when his kids are on the line :< though I will say, you're being quite optimistic about how his conversation with Big Mama is gonna go... 👀

lmao april is maybe in a TEENSY bit over her head, bless her. splinter definitely struggled over whether or not to bring her with him to see big mama. he tried to convince her to let him escort her back home once he realized where he had to go, but of course she wouldn't hear of it. thought about having her wait outside, but... is so reluctant to leave her alone in the hidden city... knew she would probably pushback anyway, too, so...

the twins will definitely have a ton of therapy and healing to tackle in the future <3 my poor sweet baby boys....

THANK YOU <3 <3 <3

@11bountyhunters @oh-my-muffins @oneshortlove @khlegacynexus @animal-lover-forever @wings-of-sapphire @devious-little-creature @riseleon

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Hello hello! Got another request if you don’t mind! How would the 141 react to the femmilitary reader having a big family? Like she has a mum and dad, aunts and uncles and lots of cousins, and their all wholesome. Like the ultimate wholesome family?

Thank you ! 🏡👨‍👩‍👧👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👦👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

As someone who comes from a big family, this is something I can easily write about lol

Also sorry this took me forever ❤️

How Do They React to Reader who has a big family

Price

When he first found out about your big family it was bittersweet

On one hand, he liked that you had a family you could rely on when you went home. He knows that a lot of the people he works with don't and that having a support system that you can fall back onto is great

On the other hand, it meant that if anything happened to you, there would be a lot of heartbreak

He makes it his mission that you return safely for this reason

He probably ask about all of them, how your nieces/nephews are doing in school, how your siblings are, what your parents are doing. He's curious

If you show him pictures he'll be happy to see them

Won't be nervous to meet your family, he knows so much about them that he has so much to talk about

Would probably help whoever is grilling if it's a cookout

If there are any nieces/nephews who are kids they're going to love him so much he's going to be stolen away by them but he doesn't mind

He's actually really good with kids and will be the best person to tire them out for the parents

Shares obscure stories with your parents, uncles and aunts

He fits in really well with your family and when the visit is over you'll probably gets texts telling you to bring him around again

Ghost

He honestly finds it hard to understand how someone can have that big of a family but he's not that intimated by it

Much like Price, he becomes a lot more aware of your safety and takes extra precautions to make sure that you make it back to base with minimal or no life threatening injuries

Won't really ask about them unless you mentioned something about them offhandedly, then he'll want you to elaborate

He does like when you show him pictures though since he likes putting a face to the names you give him

He'll be a little nervous about meeting your family, being the natural introvert he is and what he would have to do about wearing a mask in front of everyone, even when you assured him that no one would make fun of him

He will probably try to stay in the less traffic/popular areas, though it's a little difficult with that many people

He will make small talk with anyone who tries to talk to him though, he's not rude, he's just a little bit overwhelmed

Eventually he will warm up and that when your nieces/nephews strike

They'll have him do anything and everything, parading him around as their pack mule for toys and showing him around the house. He's not going to question it at all, he's going to do what they tell him to.

Ends up getting a little sad because he gets reminded of his own family, but holds out until the event is over

Will get emotional if you tell him your family likes having him around and wants him to come back, but it'll take him a while to feel accepted just due to his own distance he puts between your family and him

Soap

Oh this guy is so happy to know you have a big family

He wants to everything about them and even friends a bunch of them on Facebook because he's nosy and likes to be in the know of what's going on in your life and your families

Will never stop asking about them. He's so excited to learn about what's going on and if you don't know he will most definitely found out by sleuthing through social media for it

Love seeing pictures. Please show him pictures

Lowkey accidental lives vicariously through you since he rarely ever sees his family or hears from them so getting to know all about them makes him feel a lot less lonely

Not nervous to meet your family, in fact he shows up like he's known them his entire life and your family greets him the same way

Gets along with everybody, he's got this charm to him that just wins people over

Jokes a lot with the adults and never fails to have stories to tell them that make them laugh. When he starts talking they all listen because they want to know what he's going to say but he's also just loud

Gets really into the family games

Price may tire the kids out but Soap puts them to bed with how much energy he's able to get out of them. He's really proud about it

Your family definitely wants him around and he might even visit them when you're not there. He's just that comfortable

Gaz

Ever heard of the phrase "Parents love him"? Yeah that's him

Was honestly surprised to learn you came from a huge family but is super curious about them nonetheless

He gives me only child vibes idk why so he's always willing to listen to how the family dynamics are within yours

Will ask about them a moderate amount and genuinely listens when you tell him what's going on

Probably friends a few of them on Facebook too

Likes pictures, thinks it's really sweet when he sees them

Nervous to meet your family but once they greet him with open arms all of it goes away and he feels right at home with them

Becomes the one that will do anything that needs to be done

Food needs to be moved? You got it. Things need to be carried? You don't have to ask him twice. Need help setting up tables? He's already doing it.

Talks with everyone but mostly connects with your cousins since they're most likely similar in age. He even manages to get some juicy gossip from them because he can be persuasive

The kids like to use him much like Ghost but they force him to actually play games and toys with them

He's happy to know that your family wants him back while your family wants you to marry him as quick as you can since he's so sweet

Hope you like! Sorry again for how long it took me to get to it.

[tending-the-hearth]

ALRIGHT BESTIES BUCKLE UP FOR MY MUTANT MAYHEM COMMENTARY

i will kick this off by saying that Mutant Mayhem is quite honestly one of my favorite iterations of the turtles EVER, second only to the 2012 versions.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR MUTANT MAYHEM (duh lmao)

the theme of having a family and a place to belong was established from the VERY beginning of the movie, so yeah, heartbreaking start lmao

Baxter's devotion to his children was just 😭😭

literally the best version of Splinter EVER i will not hear any arguments

I'd lay down my life for these boys in a heartbeat

the way Leo gets teased is SO perfectly how siblings tease each other, the little mocking tones and gestures is literally how my siblings and i act with each other

no bc Splinter having a history of being rejected by those around him and the boys being all he has and the one time he tries to go into a new environment it goes terribly and that's what leads him to never wanting the boys to leave 😭

but of course it's also SUCH a valid explanation for how he behaves like ofc he's going to try to keep his sons safe!!

the boys are so silly goofy kiddos i love them

"i dream of violence every night" "i think you have a problem" RAPH I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART

their excitement over the fight in the bike shop was so!!!! they're finally being heroes

Leo's little crush on April is literally the cutest thing wtf

the "bacon egg and cheese" moment was 100% some inside joke between the turtles' VAs, it was so random that it couldn't be anything else lmao

BUT i'm not complaining because that added so much to the boys!!

i love April, she's so realistically hesitant about the turtles, but also realizes that they can help with Superfly

also she has a list of questions she wants to ask the turtles, and one of the questions was "how many people has the red-banded turtle killed? does he need therapy?" and i cackled

the montage of them finding the different bosses!!!! and each turtle getting his own moment!!!

"why did you punch him, he told us everything!!!" Raph was in a silly goofy mood <3

Mondo has no thoughts. No brain.

The way the other mutants immediately started treating the boys like little brothers?????? my heart????

Bebop and Rocksteady being twins is my favorite thing

Mondo being truly heartbroken by the boys kicking him out of the van, he was so sad

Wingnut just trying to look out for her little brothers!!

THEY GOT FUCKING MILKED

Splinter literally not caring about anything else he just wants his boys safe!!

The other mutants turning against Superfly because they don't want to hurt the humans, they just want to be family!

Splinter realizing his mistake in sheltering his boys so much, and helping them destroy the device!!! growth!!!

His speech to the boys about how even if he doesn't like humans, the boys do, and he wants them to be able to be happy, so if helping the humans makes them happy, then he'll do everything he can to make sure that happens 😭😭😭

THE SHOT OF THEM ALL WALKING TOWARDS THE CITY AND APRIL THROWING RAPH THE ANTI-MUTAGEN GUN??? HELLO???

okay but the moment where all the news channels are reporting about the boys and their team being monsters, and it's just spinning around the boys as they realize they might never be accepted broke my heart

Leo stepping up as leader and recognizing his brothers' skills my beloved

WE GOT A SLO-MO COWABUNGA LINE

Splinter flashing between when he brought the boys to the surface for the first time and the humans chasing them away vs. the humans approaching him with concern and helping him to his feet 😭😭

THE HUMANS TEAMING UP TOGETHER WITH THE MUTANTS TO GET THE CARTRIDGE TO THE BOYS I'M FUCKING SOBBING

The mutants living together, they're a family your honor 😌

MIKEY LEAVING BEHIND HIS MASK

They got to go to school!!!!

and each of them finding their own group outside of their brothers!!

Donnie with his computer friends!

Mikey joining improve!!

Raph joining wrestling!!

April and Leo looking into TCRI!! Leopril truthers rise up!!

And the final mid-credits scene leading into the TV show with the hint towards TCRI still kicking AND AND AND

THE SHREDDER TEASE AT THE END??? HOLY SHIT??? HE LOOKS SO COOL???

There were also so many little background things that made me emotional, like the LGBTQIA+ flyers on the school poster board, the trans flag pinned next to the flyers, the little scribbles on the lockers and April's helmet, the details were just so so perfect. there honestly wasn't a single thing i didn't love about the movie!!!

GO SEE IT WHEN YOU CAN

[yantalia545]

For the political marriage one, what if they actually had a really good marriage? They respect each other, they help each other out, hell the allies believed that they loved each other.

But it all came to an end, when she asked for a divorce. Since they managed to make both of their respective economies stronger, she believed that they no longer need each other.

She still offers her friendship tho' a little unaware that that's not what they want from her, along with the seething rage and grief at the fact that she just casually threw away years of being happily "married".

America:

The two of you were very close even before your marriage, so the two of you shared more of a best friends living under the same roof lifestyle together.

It was like a dream come true to America. No longer would the distance of an ocean keep the two of you apart anymore. You guys could just wake up, make breakfast together, play endless hours of video games, then wind down for the night with a movie and snacks almost every day.

Because of your economy going up in flames, (where the need for you to marry America in the first place came from), America had stepped into your country's affairs and had pretty much dominated your whole government. While it did help heal your country tremendously, you couldn't help the nagging feeling in your heart that you wish to remain independent. You had fought so hard for it in the past that it would be demeaning almost to you to let it go so easily.

See as you guys are so close and comfortable with each other, you casually try to bring up that you'd like to remain friends but end this political marriage and go home. Although it doesn't go as well as you would have expected.

You foolishly thought that since he was also a country that had to fight for their independence too that he would have understood, but if anything, it was the complete opposite.

America had been on the offensive side of his independence war and is well aware of the signs of longing for said freedom. He could tell that you wanted to go home for quite some time now. What he also was well aware of was how to tighten up the loose ends that England had failed to see when the two of them were fighting.

He is a much more powerful country than you with way more resources and connections. There's no way you could ever face him and win. You government officials love him, and the enormous amount of money America bribes them with. They would do anything to keep America on their side. Your military and police had been replaced with his own loyal men too so there would be no one to fight him with.

Besides that, he'll show you how much more happy and more prosperous your people are now that he's taken over things. You would be a fool to throw that all away over some petty feelings.

America had all of these ends already tied up and was hoping to never have to reveal them to you. If things could have stayed the way they were, where you remained blissfully ignorant of his undoings, then things wouldn't have had to escalate the way they did.

Because of you actually voicing your desire to divorce, America has no choice but to act as if every time you wish to be alone or go out without him, you're plotting against him. He's going to up security and follow you everywhere. No more social media or talking to other countries either. He can't have you conspiring against him.

It was your own fault really, once thinking back on it. You thought you could be honest with America and confront him face-to-face about the divorce, but you really should have just run for the hills instead. Not that you’d get very far, but the thought of a head start did seem a bit more comforting. 

England:

As a nation that's had countless countries leave time and time again throughout his life, your request really hit one of England's biggest insecurities.

Since England's too prideful to admit heartbreak, he most likely will allow you to leave. Most likely by him screaming with tears streaming down his face telling you to get out, but other than that he won't give you much of a hassle, for now. When you're gone and word gets out that the two of you divorced, England will be a huge mess.

Many, many drunk late nights at the pubs. Anything to silence his thoughts riddled with you just for a little while. Why did you have to leave him like everyone else? What could he have done differently to make you stay? He thought you were different from the others and gave his heart to you.

Even if he won't admit it, with there being so many people leaving his life he's become rather lonely. England was so much happier when you were around. His house was no longer quiet and empty, instead, he had a peaceful presence to keep him company. England had grown attached to the feeling of your companionship and didn't want to let it go. He couldn't deal with his lonely house anymore.

Expect a drunk call from him almost every night. That, or France will call you in the middle of the night begging you to help him get England home if he knows you're staying somewhere not too far from them. "He keeps saying he won't go anywhere without you. Can you please help me?" France will beg.

When you do come around, regardless if it's another late-night drag home or you just happen to be at the same world meeting he's at, England will become exceptionally clingy. Almost every time you're with England, he will break down into tears and beg you to come back.

It will be awkward. Having a grown man cling to you like this isn't exactly comfortable for you. Or for anyone else in the room watching for that matter. It's not like you hate England or that he treated you badly while married to him. It's just that you only saw him as a dear friend. The two of you were only together like that to help out each other's economies grow.

You try to ease him off of you, but England has the exact opposite idea. While you keep trying to just stay friends with him, He's slowly leading you back to him through sob stories. Anything to make you stay just a little bit longer with him.

The whole world can only watch as this awkward game of tug of war takes place. Some may try to convince you to get back together with him while others will say to just leave him completely. Sometimes you wish you could just leave him. England can be so overbearing from time to time, but your friendship with him makes you feel almost too guilty to leave.

China:

Like Britain, China is also the type to let you leave. Unlike Britain though, he will remain calm and collected, albeit a little distraught over your divorce. After all, he believes it would only be a matter of time before you come crawling back to him but it was still a little sad to see you leave him.

Up until the very moment you board your plane back to your country. When he’ll be completely left alone to think and plan in his depressive isolation. It didn't have to be this way, really. But he won't actually accept the fact that you don't love him. When he asked you to marry him, he meant it.

China will spend a lot of time alone thinking about the words you had said to him on the day you asked for a divorce. What caught his attention the most was you stating that you no longer needed each other. To him, he'll see that as a sign to create dependency. If you feel like you need him and he's the only one that can provide for you then you'll never leave him again.

This is where his age and experience will most definitely come in handy. He won't flat out go to war with you in fear of you going to someone else for help. Threatening you could have to same result too, so he'll stick to more back-alley tactics that he's very skilled with. He'll pull the strings from the shadows to create economic crisis after crisis for you and your country until you start questioning if leaving China's aid and safety was a good idea.

It'll play out so beautifully; To avoid suspicion from you, China will stay as friendly as ever and even help you through a few of your lighter problems. If another country voices their theories about him to you, you'll dig your own grave and even go out of your way to defend him. China can't help but find so much pleasure in watching you defend someone who's holding a knife to your back. This just demonstrates further how vulnerable you are without him to guide you in his mind.

It was nearly impossible to hold back his smile when he found you on his doorstep one rainy morning asking for his help again. China doesn't like seeing you upset normally, but in this situation, he feels like you deserve it. You broke his heart so now he feels he has the right to do the same to you.

He'll allow you to come back on one condition, you never leave him again.

Russia:

Leave him?...

Your words will throw him off. Russia will look for any signs of this being another bed joke of yours, but when he sees you're serious things will take a turn. Russia was having so much fun with you around. He couldn't just let you go.

For all of Russia's life, all he's ever wanted was someone he could rely on and call a friend. Everyone he'd come across in his life was either terrified of him or tried to stab him in the back. But you were so different. You came to him all on your own and you were even so kind and honest with him too! His once cold and empty house had the warmth he had always dreamed of. There's no way Russia could ever go back to that coldness.

Before we get into it, I feel that I should mention that even though the two of you are married (even just for political reasons) Russia still believes the two of you should have been doing things that married couples do; Passing kisses, sharing a bed, always being together in each others company for example. However, he held himself back and tried to be respectful of your boundaries. Russia was terrified of scaring away his only companion away and wanted you to come to him on your own. That all gets thrown out the window when he hears that disgusting word, "Divorce"

Russia will have the usual smile he always wears and his voice will be cheerful as ever, but his words would be ever so chilling. "Don't be silly. You're going to stay here with me. I'm going to stay being your devoted husband and you will forever remain my darling wife." Russia means what he said 100%.

However this goes down, Russia will no longer hold back his desires. Maybe if he should you how good of a husband he can be you'll never want to leave him again.

If you never bring up leaving him again then he'll only hover over you and keep you locked in his house for only a short few months. When does allow you to accompany him out of the house, Russia is going to keep you very close to him. If you're sane and start to demand being freed then Russia is bound to snap.

First, he restricts your confinements from the whole house to just your shared room. The windows will also be boarded up too to stop you from even looking at the outside world without his consent. You won't be allowed out even when Russia is around. He can't risk you getting any more of these ideas while he's not around. All electronic will also be removed from your possession. There's no need to talk to anyone besides him anyways.

Then, he's going to hunt for whoever sewed these awful thoughts inside your mind and deal with them. Most likely he'll blame the Baltics. They're the only ones you're with when he's not around. Their screams could be heard throughout the house. Not even Lativa was spared, making you regret your decision even more.

Like with America, you shouldn't have given any warning. You should have just gathered your stuff and run for the hill while everything was still peaceful. Maybe then you could have at least tried to call for help before Russia closed in on you.

France:

The two of you were in a pretty bad spot after WWwho knows. Germany did a pretty good number on both of your countries and were in desperate need of support. The rest of the world wasn't in much better shape, so the two of you decided to stick together. Even if your marriage wasn't out of love at first, France had grown these intense feelings of adoration throughout the years and truly believed the two of you were in love.

It was heartbreaking to hear you say you'd like to divorce him since both of your countries were doing much better now. Nonetheless, France still did let you go. After all, if you love something then you should let it go.

You did say you wanted to stay friends, so He'll stick by you and support you in any way he can. Mind you, he's still going to flirt with you like crazy and give you compliments at any chance he can. Lunches he made himself of all your favorite foods will also still be a reoccurring thing too. France is practically going to act as if the two of you are still together but living in different homes. It hurts to fall asleep each night without you by his side, but France reminds himself that this is only temporary. You'll come to realize your feelings too soon enough.

No matter how many years pass, France will remain patient and supportive of you. Though, if he notices you starting to retract from him, or worse, begin to develop feelings for someone else, France is going to take action. At that point, kidnapping is a sure thing to happen.

France will feel some regret when you wake up scared and tied to his bed. He did take the care to tie your wrist with silk instead of harsh ropes or chains, so he hopes you do see that he's doing this out of love.

He's a bit of a mess and feels like you've backed him into a corner. France thought that you would come around if he just stayed by your side. The two of you were in love. Your union was fate; Your destinies for love. France didn't want things to come to this, but you pushed him to do so. You were going to leave him. He only let you go in the first place because he thought it was what you needed to realize your feelings for him. Instead, you had to go off and pursue someone else.

Please just say you love him. That you really were just confused about your feelings and didn't actually love the other person. It's the only thing that will bring France back from his insanity.

[ohtobeleah]

I wanna say no but I do, I do wanna see why Jake & Amilia don’t work out the first time around.

Strap in kids I’m taking you for a ride: Also, please be aware that there is still a tone of love to cover between Jake & Amilia between this point and when they first met.

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, miscommunication. Jake Seresin being a literal idiot. Amilia being Amilia.

Terms of Endearment Masterlist

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

The Moving Car Theory //

“I'm sorry, what did you say?” The guy standing before Amilia chuckled to himself as he watched her disconnect her mic pack from her headset as she asked him to repeat himself. She was still a world away, well her mind was at least. She’d resorted to teaching old releases she knew like the back of her hand so that she could just tune the world out for forty five minutes or so. As the man before her laughed and took out his phone, Amilia couldn't help but to wonder just where it all went wrong, how she was back here, in Australia, doing the same thing she was doing before she left on a two year working holiday–not expecting to fall in love and get her heart broken all at the same time. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

It’s not like Jake goes from being this perfect boyfriend to a guy that beats his spouse. No. Jake Seresin was never a perfect boyfriend and Amilia never claimed he was one. He was just Jake. Plane and simple Lieutenant Jake Hangman Seresin. 

But for as much as Jake loved Amilia Fisher from the bottom of his heart untill his dying breath—he just didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. He didn’t know how to communicate his feelings, he didn’t understand that to be in a relationship you had to be a team player and although he’d learnt that very skill through his work—he didn’t know how to apply that same logic into his relationship. 

He doesn’t not try either, he did. Jake's actions spoke louder than his words and for the most part that was alright. He tried to be everything Amilia needed and deserved but that’s just the problem, Jake doesn’t understand how to be a good partner because he’s never been a good partner before. 

Amilia Fisher is Jake’s first long term partner and it shows because she’s the one who handles all the trials and tribulations while Jake tries his hardest to navigate this new kind of commitment he’s in over his head with. It’s not a little known fact that Hangman isn’t a relationship type guy—he doesn’t do long term and he doesn’t do commitment. He’s a grade A commitment-phobe and everyone and their mother warned Amilia that Jake was probably the last person they’d ever see settle down. 

But the hope was there in her heart that maybe, just maybe, Amilia was enough for Jake. And Jake does his best, he tries because he loves Amilia so much—he loves this crazy woman who came twirling into his life like a whirlwind tornado he wasn’t prepared for. He just does his best to love her enough that she’ll put up with his inability to express his emotions, his fear of commitment that rivals his fear of her leaving. He does his best to show Amilia that he loves her so much that she understands when he gets held up at work or forgets the plans they had because something else came up or when he says he'll do something that never does get done and Amilia ends up doing it. 

But sometimes your best isn’t enough. 

It’s not enough sometimes to be just there and not all in. And despite Jake being what he thought was, unconditionally in love with Amilia and all that made her uniquely her. As it turns out there was a condition, and that condition came in the form of a denied attempt to obtain permanent residency in the United States of America. 

“What do you mean your request was denied?” Jake asked as he frowned his brows and took the documents Amilia held out to him. “What do they have to deny you for?” 

“I couldn’t prove that by me staying here working, that I wasn’t taking away that opportunity for employment from a US citizen.” Amilia explained as she pointed to the simple but damned sentence that gave her less than two weeks to pack her new life up and ship it back to the land down under. “Penny even said she’d sponsor me, but it wasn’t enough to tip me over the edge.” Amilia sighed as she pushed away from the bar—floating around to where the empty schooner glasses were to fetch Jake his beer of choice. Budweiser, on tap. “I can always reapply for another working visa but I have to go back to Australia regardless—I can’t even stay in the country if I quit.” Amilia groaned out in frustration as she flicked the tap. “I feel so naive, we should have seen this coming—nothing is ever as easy as it is on paper.” 

“So what, just like that you have to head back to Australia?” Jake asked as he looked up from the documents Amilia had brought with her to her impromptu shift at the Hard Deck. The plan had been to meet for dinner after Jake had finished work, but as always—Jake got held up. So Amilia did what she did best and braved a smile and told herself it wasn’t her, it was Uncle Sam. She picked up a couple extra hours because by the time Jake had gotten around to texting her he’d be late, she’d already been waiting over an hour. “That doesn’t seem right, you have a life here.” Rooster never left Felix hanging, Amilia thought as she waited and waited and waited for Jake to arrive—the text had come far too late. They both worked full time and had two kids and still managed to make the whole communication process look like a piece of cake. “What are you gonna do?” 

It was always what was Amilia going to do, never what were we going to do or what can Jake do to help. Again, Amilia knew that Jake wasn’t intentionally making things difficult, but god sometimes he just needed a good smack. Sometimes he really did get under her skin and right now as he sat on the other side of the bar looking at her to solve this major problem that they were meant to be facing head on together, she cracked. 

“Well—I need to go back to Australia.” With a polite hand, Amilia passed Jake the beer she’d poured him. Placing the glass on a little napkin on the bar to catch the dripping condensation. “Anyway you look at it, I have to go back, I can’t file another attempt at permanent residence here and I can’t start the process of applying for another working visa until I update my biometrics back in the country.” It wasn’t what Jake wanted to hear. He didn’t want to hear the love of his life tell him she was leaving to go back to Australia. 

“Oz, there’s gotta be another option here sweetheart.” There was an option. Two in fact. Marriage which was entirely off the fucking cards because Amilia couldn’t even get Jake to commit to the weekly grocery shop with her let alone commit his entire life. Jake Seresin would never get married, Amilia knew that when she stepped into this relationship. Jake had never vocalised an interest or shown any intent on that home front. So, that left option two. 

“Well, I mean—you could always come back to Australia with me?” Amelia's eyes brightened just the slightest bit at the idea. “You could do some sort of posting out there for the navy?” It’s a rough idea but not entirely impossible. “I know that there’s a few Aussie guys that fly for you guys that come in for lunch sometimes, what if you did the same and came with me?” Jake doesn’t say anything as he sat up a little straighter and blinked at Amilia like he’s a deer caught in headlights. He’s processing the idea, slowly, she can see the stupid loading symbol above his head. “It wouldn’t be forever Jake, just a little while while we figure out what we should do and how to make this work and—“ Before Amilia can say how to stay together, Jake’s pressing his lips together and shaking his head. 

“I can’t do that.” It’s four words that break Amilias heart more than they should have. “Oz, I can’t move to Australia.” Logically speaking Amilia knows Jake can’t just uproot his life to be with her, she knows he’s got Dot and Fe and Rooster. A job that’s all consuming and his entire family are Texas born and raised. But—Amilia couldn’t help but to feel like she was the second option, the second choice amongst all Jake Seresins priorities. Right now though she felt like she didn’t even make the top five. 

“I applied for permanent residency for you.” Amilia wasn’t going to argue, she just wanted Jake to know. “I would’ve given up everything for you, my life back home, my job, my family, my friends, everything to stay here and be with you Jake but when the tables are turned and suddenly you’re put in the same position you didn’t even say let me think about it?” Amilia paused as she undid her waist apron. “Listen, I love you, with all my heart Jake I really do.” Jake could see it, Amilia was holding back tears as she tried to keep her bottom lip from wobbling. “But I don’t see this working if you’re here and I’m there.” 

It’s a hard pill to swallow and Jake feels himself losing focus on reality. This conversation is taking a drastic turn and it’s all moving far too quickly for him to keep up with. His world is collapsing right in front of him and it just seems like he’s missing something here. 

“You came to that conclusion awfully fast?” He doesn’t know it but that’s the tipping point for Amilia, that remark is the straw that broke the camel’s back. “I don’t wanna break up because of this if that’s what you're getting at here.” He sighs, Amilia just looks at Jake like she’s trying to memorise every single detail of his face. Because she is. She wants to remember everything that made her fall in love with Jake. “And I especially don’t wanna talk about this here, so can we just go home? Decide how we’re gonna combat this?” 

Amilia holds her ground as she crosses her arms across her chest. No. There is no other way to combat this. There is no other way to deal with this because Amilia knows if she leaves? Jake's best will only become his worst and then she’ll be stuck a million miles away wondering if he’s thinking about her when she already knows the answer. He won’t be. 

Because he can’t even remember to text her that he’s running late until he’s over an hour late when he’s five minutes from the Hard Deck. What’s it gone be like when she’s a million miles away and hasn’t heard from him in a week because he’s been so caught up with work that his entire relationship becomes an afterthought. 

“Jake, you either come with me, even just for a little while on a holiday of some sort while I figure out how to legally get back here, or—I go without you and you don’t have to pretend that being with me isn’t the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do.” 

“Amilia—I think we need to talk about this.” Jake stands from his stool as Amilia rounds out from behind the bar to meet him. He wraps her in his arms and kisses the top of her head just to smell her. “Hey, I love you, so much.” He mumbles as Amilia hugs him tighter than Jake could ever hug her. “Let’s just go home and talk about this? Before we make any decisions.” 

“I uh—“ Amilia pulls back, Jakes shocked to see she’s crying. Her eyes are red and her face is starting to swell a little. “I think you should just take me back to my sister's place.” 

“Why would I wanna do that?” 

“Because we know how this ends Jake.”

Amilia sobs as he pulls her back in. She’s not angry and she’s not worried about losing the love of her life anymore because if she was really the love of Jake's life there wouldn’t have been any hesitation whatsoever on Jake’s part to come with her. “I don’t wanna drag it out.” Amilia knows when Jake pulled away that she'd wasted a little over a year and a half of her life on a guy everyone told her didn’t do relationships—couldn’t do commitment. And she knows that Jake finally takes her seriously about breaking things off when he turns his attention back to his beer, still half full before he reaches out to skull the rest. 

“You really wanna break up? Just like that?” Jake waits for a reply. He waits for Amilia to compose herself as she wipes her tears and takes a deep breath because people are everywhere and she doesn’t wanna make a scene. Roosters already noticed though. He’s having dinner on the dining side of the bar with his loving wife and two children when he catches out of the corner of his eye this complete relationship breakdown that’s happening. “Amilia, do you want to call it quits yes or no?” There’s a slight tone of anger in Jake's voice that Amilia hates, but she nods regardless. It’s all Jake needs before the petty switch flips. 

“Jake I love you I really do but I can’t keep pretending a life separate from yours is good enough for me.” Jake doesn’t even understand what that means. His head hurts and his heart feels like it’s caving in on itself. There’s a ring in his sock draw that will need to be returned now. He’s had it for about eight months. Why he never asked the all important question he couldn’t even answer himself. Guess he was just too scared that Amilia would say no or that he just couldn’t commit. So when Amilia reaches out Jake takes a step back and grits his teeth so hard to stop himself from showing any signs of emotional distress he almost feels them crack under the pressure. “Jake it’s the truth, I love you but I can’t do this without you, I need every bit of you to love me, I can’t be some part time afterthought anymore.” Jake doesn’t care, he doesn’t care what Amilia has to say, all he cares about is getting the hell out of the Hard Deck before he can’t control his anger, his frustration, his heartbreak. 

“Dive yourself to your damn sisters.” Jake just scoffs before he barges past Amilia, his forearm hits her shoulder and she stumbles on already wobbly legs from the adrenaline and the heartbreak. 

“Don’t me a child!” Amilia groans but it’s too late, Jakes gone. She just stands there, holding herself together, looking around until she saw Rooster, with his perfect fucking family and his annoying ass wedding ring and his kids that remind Amilia that that was never going to be her. Not with Jake and certainly not with anyone else. She was gone quicker than Bradley could swallow his last bite to go see what was up. 

But the news spread quickly that night. And before she knew it while she cried on her sister’s lap while little Chase made himself useful and brushed Amilias hair against the lounge, Payback was rounding the corner with his phone in his hand frowning at the text he’d just received from Jake. 

“Hangman said he put all your stuff into a few boxes and put them in the garage for you.” Reuben just looked at his wife, Amilias sister Chelsea and silently asked her what the fuck was going on. “I uh, I can go round and get whatever you need.” Amilia couldn’t help but to laugh at herself, this was fucking pathetic. 

But Jake throwing her shit into boxes within a two hour window of what Amilia would consider the worst breakup of her entire life was even more pathetic than her crying on her sister’s lap with her brother in law looking at her like she’d finally snapped and gone crazy. 

“Sure, probably for the best.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Over the next few days Amilia pretty much turns into a recluse. She starts the tedious process of deciding what to take home and what to give away and what to donate to goodwill. You hadn’t heard from her in three days, so after work and with a very convenient playdate scheduled for Dot and Chase, you knock on the bedroom Amilia Fisher had been living in for almost two years whenever she wasn't at Jake's house. 

“Ozzie, babe it's just me.” You sighed as you let her forehead rest against the door. Knocking again. “Amilia Jane Fisher open this door now.” Amilia does exactly that with a huff. What you see greeting you is a mess of a woman who hasn't got a single fucking clue what she's doing. Amilia left Australia to try and find herself, now she felt like she was going back with her cup even emptier than what she'd begun with. 

“Felix I don’t wanna talk about it alright, I just need to pack.” Amilia didn't bother to stand in your way, she just went back to sorting through clothes and items that scattered the expanse of her bedroom. “What are you doing here?” 

“I just came to see how you were holding up, breakups can be hard.” You shrugged as you looked around at the chaos that was the current state of Amilias bedroom. “Breakups with my brother tend to be a little rougher than most.” Amilia caught herself smiling at your words. Of course, you would have seen this happen time and time again. Jake the commitment-phobe Seresin had probably left a trail of broken hearts for you to clean up. “The fuck Oz, you guys were meant to be together forever?” 

“I'm guessing Jake told you I broke it off huh?” Amilia sighed as she sat on her bed, still in her pyjamas from three days ago. You just nodded, sitting down beside her cautiously. Jake may have been your brother but Amilia had become a sister, ever since you’d found out she put herself in harm's way to keep you little girl safe. That was a debt you forever owed her. 

“Yeah, but I know, I know you haven't been feeling good for a while.” It's not that you had special powers of anything, it was just that sailors recognised other sailors on the sea and you just had enough of your own experiences to know that although Jake loved Amilia with all his heart and all his might, it just wasn't enough because he didn't know how to be with her. He’d tried his best for a little over a year and a half, but in the last four or so months, Amilia just could take it. “Jakes a good guy, and I know he loves you and I know you love him but maybe some time apart to grow will hopefully I don't know, bring you guys back together.” 

“Oh I cant hold onto that kinda hope Fe.” Amilia sobbed as she laid her head down on your thigh, looking up at you like you were some kind of therapist. 

“Why hon?” You asked softly and as if the flood gates had been opened, a wave of emotional and raw headache overcame Amilia Fisher. She cried into the palms of her hands that shot up to cover her face. “Oh my god, Ozzie I can't stand to see you like this.” 

“I just need this to be over Fe–” Amilia cried so hard Chelsea heard it from down the hall. “I can't take this anymore.” You were about to be the person Amilia Fisher dumped on, you knew it, you were prepared for it. “Yes I love Jake and yes I wanted to marry Jake, one day–hopefully, if he ever wanted to! But I didn't want a life separate from Jake and th–that's all he could ever give me!” But Jake had done the same thing when he’d had a bit too much to drink and showed up on your doorstep a sobbing dysfunctional mess because he’d lost the love of his life. “I don't want that, if I wanna be with Jake I wanna be with Jake, and he just didn't get that.” 

“I know Oz I know, he's such an idiot–” You cooed, wiping Amilias tears as she felt a burning rage bubbling away inside her. 

“I waited, didn't I? I waited, it's like Jake is driving a car Fe, okay–and I just wanna be able to sit in the passenger's seat, but he's locked the doors on me and I have to hold onto the bumper, you know.” All you could do was listen to the woman who’d become one of your favourite people, cry in your lap about a guy she really loved, Jake. “And I'm not even asking him to open the door for me! He could just leave it unlocked and say come in but no–he didn't, he fucking couldn’t so–.” Sobbs escaped from Amilias mouth as she took a deep breath in. “I’m hanging on to the bumper and life goes on and the car goes on and I get hurt and really badly bruised from hitting potholes and it hurts, it just hurts too much so I had to let go of the bumper and watch Jake keep driving into the distance while I figure out how to put myself together again.” 

It hurt so bad, but Amilia just hoped that it hurt Jake all the same. That she left him as empty as he’d left her. Short story was that she did, so empty he couldn’t let go of the ring he’d brought her.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“I said, are you seeing anyone at the moment?” The guy repeated himself as Amilia worked to pack her weights away, tossing up just what to say back to the guy who’d hung around after the BodyPump class she’d just filled in for. 

“Uh–” For a moment, just to save face, Amilia was going to say yes. It had been four months since the breakup and like a couple of weeks since she’d started to find a routine again. The news of Jake's marriage had really thrown Amilia off course for a while there–it just cemented the fact that she was never enough for Jake deep inside her. She had a feeling that may have been the case but the fact he went and married some random girl after only having dated for a few weeks really instilled that sentiment in Amilias soul. 

Still—she congratulated him.

But Amilia had just gotten back into it–settling back into work, getting back into the swing of things after having taken a mental health break yet again.

“No, no I'm not seeing anyone.” Amilia answered honestly through a soft smile, and decided to see where this was going. She could always say thanks but no thanks. 

“Cool, I was just wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime? I saw that there's a cafe across the way and thought I could buy you a coffee? If you’re interested?” Amilia didn't answer straight away as she mulled over her next move, it surely couldn't hurt right? She couldn't stay hung up on Jake Seresin, her American Idiot forever could she? Especially since he was now married and moved on. 

“Uh sure, why not right?” Amilia agreed and the way the guy before her smiled in response kinda felt nice. “I'll just finish up here and I can meet you over there–” She lingered for a while because she had no name to put to the face that stood before her.

“Oh.” The guy wiped his palm on his active shorts before reaching out to shake Amilias hand. “Jake, Jake Harris.” Of. Fucking. Course. Amilia just smiled and shook his hand. 

“Nice to meet you.” Maybe this was Amelia's first step in putting herself together again, getting back out there. So she did as she promised, she packed up her weights, cleaned up the group fitness room a little and was about to head out to grab a coffee with this guy she’d just met when she saw someone sitting in the little PT waiting area who she never thought she’d see the light of day again. 

“Hey, Amilia there's some yank waiting for you in the–” One of her colleagues went to mention but Amilia had already caught sight of him. The sound of Amilia's name being said made Jake look up from his phone, he looked tired, but coming straight from the airport to a rental car to the gym Amilia worked at would do that to a person. 

“Jake? What are you doing here?” She asked, watching as Lieutenant Jake Hangman Seresin, Amilias American Idiot, the love of her life, stood from his place in the waiting area. He stood before the woman who broke his heart and took it with her when she left. “Wait, the fuck? what are you doing here–?” 

“I fucked up.” Jake said as he took a few steps towards Amilia, she didn't move, frozen in her place. Too afraid that if she moved she’d wake up. “I fucked up Oz–” Amilia felt like she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see straight, couldn’t think, but there was one question she just needed to know before anything else.

“Where’s your wife?” Jake just smiled, he was looking right at her. He knew it, he was going to win Amilia Fisher back even if it took his entire life to do so. He just wanted the love of his life back, whatever it took. If that meant he dropped everything to move to Australia for a brief stint? So fucking be it. He was ready.

“Annulled–” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

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