#she thinks that if she can cure the calling then maybe he can live a full life without a looming death sentence over his head

[nightingaletrash]

Solana: Alistair dumped me and left so now I'm gonna become a Blood Mage

Loghain: why???

Solana: he was 90% of my impulse control

[girlivealwaysbean]

dni.

[feminist-space]

"Joy Spence, 21, said she visited emergency departments at two hospitals in St. John's over the course of nearly two weeks this May.

What began as weakness and abdominal pain on her right side quickly deteriorated into blacking out from the agony in her torso.

But no matter how dire her symptoms got, doctors kept sending her home.

"They would just tell me, 'Your bloodwork's normal, there's nothing we can do.' They would send me home, then same thing again," she said. "I would go back again. They would get me to do the bloodwork, say everything's normal."

Ultrasound and CT scans apparently turned up nothing, but Spence, in such severe pain, says she had no option but to keep returning to the hospital, where she says she was eventually left screaming in a waiting room, ignored by hospital staff.

"If somebody doesn't help me, I'm going to die," she recalls wailing, watching doctors and nurses pass her by.

At one point, she was dismissed outright by a walk-in clinic nurse, she adds.

"Somebody said to me, 'I don't know what you expect me to do,'" she said. "'You're a healthy 21-year-old young female.'"

One night, she says, her boyfriend had to help her into an ambulance. Spence was in so much pain she couldn't stay conscious and stand on her own.

"I remember the man in the ambulance telling me … how often he sees other young women going into the hospital and seeing them be misdiagnosed and not taken seriously," she said, speaking through tears.

"He said that he would do his best to … get things going for me."

Spence says she went to an ER at the Health Sciences Centre or St. Clare's Mercy Hospital about 10 times over a 12-day period, beginning on May 21. She also visited her family doctor, who could do little except tell her to speak directly to the surgeon at Health Sciences Centre, she said.

Each time she saw a doctor, she says, she was sent home and told to dance around her living room or do yoga to cure what physicians believed was anxiety or sluggish bowels.

"I had so many laxatives," Spence recalls. "I would tell them … nothing's even coming out anymore. It's not just this, I don't think. But no, they were dead set on the constipation and only constipation. Like, it can only be that."

...

Spence says doctors only began to take her seriously once she began vomiting in a Health Sciences Centre hallway. The contents of her stomach were green and black.

An older doctor walking past her happened to notice, stopping in his tracks. Spence says he immediately identified the issue as appendicitis.

At that doctor's urging, Spence was finally wheeled into an operating room, where she says her burst appendix — now gangrenous — was removed.

"I think when I walked into the room and they seen a 21-year-old young girl, they immediately dismissed me and thought that there couldn't be anything wrong with me," Spence said.

"I was not on their minds and not on their radar. And if they didn't have that preconceived idea of me, those thoughts wouldn't have been formed and maybe I would have gotten the proper care that I should have."

...

Spence is still struggling to recover from her ordeal. Physically, she's now fine: her appendix was removed and her stitches have healed.

But she's lost an alarming amount of weight, she says, wakes up gasping in the middle of the night and can't stop herself from crying whenever she remembers the hospital.

"I've been losing a lot of hair," she said. "Mentally, it's just been a struggle."

Spence only received an apology from the health authority after CBC News requested comment and confirmed that Spence had done an interview — a move she says felt hollow and frustrating, since the manager who called her didn't give her an explanation about why she was repeatedly ignored while waiting to be admitted.

The ripple effect from her illness, and how she says she was treated when seeking care, has uprooted her life. She's taken a year off her studies in Memorial University's social work program and has lost her job. She's looking for trauma therapy, but now doesn't have the money to pay for it, she says.

"I think as young women we're always told what we're supposed to do, how we're supposed to think, and not to trust our instincts," she said.

"But most of the time … the gut instinct is right. I knew I was sick. I knew what was happening wasn't right, and I could have died if I didn't keep going back to the hospital.

"If I had listened to those doctors and went back home — what could have really happened?""

[ghostieblr]

he knows

When people ask him what changed his mind, why he's back in Beacon Hills instead of at the fancy FBI job he earned through merit and luck, he just smiles and laughs it up. Insists this is how it just worked out. That the job was good, and being in the field was surprisingly easy for him, but the remote research work landed on his lap once and he realized he'd much rather do that. Working the field was great, but being able to actually spend time with his old man gives him more joy.

The old ladies call him a good man, tell him he's such a good son, and share their own turmoils with him. The old men sneer at his choice until he lets slip just how much he makes, and then they're singing praises, too.

After a couple of weeks, the noise dies down. He is no longer the novelty, the townspeople ready to move on to the next new, shiny thing that catches their attention.

What doesn't die down is whatever is spreading inside him. The burn under his skin is licking up towards his heart, coming out through his pores, charring him to immobility as the sun dips down and comes back up.

After week three, he's unable to move from the bed, and none of their research is bringing about any clues. No one knows why this is happening to him, and they have all accepted this.

That he is going to die. There's no coming back, no cure for this sudden illness that has taken him. None of the books that Deaton provides, that Lydia translates and pours her time into, have a single clue.

It's not as painful, if he's honest. Not now. It was at the beginning, the heat sudden and startling, the pain that comes with it bright and unending. But he's been with it for a while now, gotten used to the constant warmth. A false sense of security.

The only thing left for him is to stop feeling altogether. At the rate his body is shutting down, it's not too far, now. Another day or two, maybe three if he's unlucky.

He's said his goodbyes. Told his father to keep on living, to not only honor the memory of mom, but his, too. There's grief laced in each of their interactions, each word spoken with a weight that brings tears to Stiles' eyes and a tremble that rocks his father's body. It's an ugly sight, and it so happens to be his last. Nearly his last.

His dad's a strong man, he'll survive. He's enlisted the help of Lydia to do so. Asked her to be the child he'll not get to be for him. Through teary eyes she had agreed, and he's watched the two of them get closer in their quest of trying to heal him, and then grieve him. She's like the daughter he never had, and she is good for him. Stops him from drinking alcohol and makes him healthy food, even when he refuses to listen, and Stiles can do nothing but lay on his bed as the voices float up from the kitchen.

Scott and him never did resolve their differences. Scott's been a part of his life enough to warrant him a last goodbye, and despite everything that has happened, Scott promised to him to be there for his dad. He promised many things, but has delivered none, and has only been by to see him on day one — when Stiles had allowed Lydia to bring in the McCall Pack to help him cure himself.

It's as if Stiles being dead was an accepted outcome for him, and Scott has grieved him to the point of utter indifference since. If he's grieving in silence that's another thing, but for now, Stiles isn't dead. People do come in and see him.

Lydia, of course. His dad. Jackson flew from London to come see him, and he hasn't left since, feet set like stone in Beacon Hills, despite the final acceptance of their failure. Isaac came with Jackson, and it's so silly, he thinks, that being on the verge of death can bring together people you would never see in one place by choice.

Kira has stopped by multiple times, as have Malia, Liam, Mason, Jordan, and surprisingly, Hayden. She insisted he's a hero, and cried while hugging him.

Scott hasn't come again. And, honestly, it's not as bothersome to Stiles as someone else not coming in to see him.

Cora has face-timed him, and Peter was there, he knows. The two of them were there, and when he'd asked about Derek, Cora had snapped out, "He's an idiot," while Peter had calmly told Stiles, "He's determined."

Stiles is smart enough to put together the fact that Derek has been pursuing his own leads to find the cure, but he'd hoped that once the finality of his situation reached him, he'd see Derek one last time.

He wouldn't burden Derek with the knowledge of his own feelings. Wouldn't confess like in the fairytales, and hope for a true love's miracle. Stiles is honest to himself these days, and he'd rather go with unconfessed feelings than burden Derek, because somewhere in their interactions, Stiles has developed a pure hatred for anything that could even remotely hurt Derek.

He supposes this is love, and how ironic is it, that this is the most intense feeling he's ever had, and he can't even speak aloud about it?

So he lounges in his bed, waiting for the light to take him. Each time he closes his eyes he knows he's closer to never opening them again, and tonight, as he hears Lydia turn the pages of a book, and Jackson walking outside in the hallway, and his dad sobbing in his own room, and Isaac cooking, he just wishes tonight's the night. He cannot have the people he care about clinging onto false hope.

He closes his eyes, and behind his eyelids, he sees his family. He sees his mom, beckoning him; his parents, smiling, as he runs towards them for a family hug; Lydia, when she told him she loves him in the Jeep, and the night when he came back, declaring that he's not supposed to leave her, ever; Jackson and Isaac laughing at his expense, but not in a mean way, instead enjoying each other's company like the friends they've become these days; Derek, as the last time Stiles saw him, smiling softly at him while he rambled on about the way he convinced the FBI to let him join the mission that saved Derek's ass.

He remembers, with immense clarity, the moment he realized he's in love with Derek. The heartbreak of saying goodbye to him, of watching his brows furrow at the clear lie of, "You should go," and hesitant step forward he'd taken before realizing it.

He'd said, "You should go or Cora will leave," and left the, "I want her to," unsaid.

He sleeps, and wishes to dream about a world where Derek didn't leave and things happened differently. Where somehow, they found their way to each other, and Stiles never got ill like this.

Instead, he dreams about a purple light guiding him to a tunnel that simply looks white, like that is all there is.

He follows.

He doesn't wake up, again.

At least, that's what he thinks — until his eyes open and he's face-to-face with —

"Derek?"

*

The whole place is white. The only splash of color exists on Stiles himself, his clothes rumpled with sleep, and on Derek, whose jeweled eyes are shimmering with unshed tears and sparkling joy.

"Derek, what the hell did you do?!"

Derek doesn't deem that a question worthy of replying. Instead the werewolf picks him up and hugs him so tight Stiles worries about not being able to breathe, and then realizes, with a startling clarity, that he is not in pain.

Still in embrace, he asks, a little choked up, "Why am I not in pain?"

Derek takes an exaggerated sniff before reluctantly pulling back and fixing him with a look that screams of resplendent joy, but also like he's waiting for a reprimand. He says, "This is Bardo."

Stiles stills. "Bardo," he repeats. He's dived into enough books to hear what Derek is leaving unsaid. Bardo is where spirits go after dying. It's an in-between space for spirits with unfinished business, one that opens only on a land with a Nemeton on it. Beacon Hills fits the criteria for it, and Stiles the criteria for having wishes he didn't get in his life, but he doesn't... He doesn't fit the other criteria. "Derek Nobody Will Tell Me What Your Middle Name Is Hale, that place — which apparently is this place, what the hell — is for supernatural spirits. Me?" He laughs, humorless and frantic. "I am not a supernatural creature. I'm just a human who used to run with a Pack."

Derek's worry melts away into nothing, as if Stiles would miss the fact that for Derek to be here, he has to be dead.

"Don't think I don't understand that you're dead, too! Deliberately!"

There. That is the face of a chastised puppy. "But it worked?" Stiles squints his eyes and motions for Derek to go on, who sighs but complies with the command. "The illness that took you was a Supernatural fever, last recorded with a Spark centuries ago. I tracked down the journal —"

"Wait, hold on, Spark? Where have I heard that word..." The Vet clinic, years ago. The Kanima in the club. The mountain ash line that never should have formed because there was much too less of it to complete the circle. As the realization hits, he closes his eyes and rests his fists against them. He isn't ashamed to let out a scream of rage as well.

When he lets his arms fall back down to his side, Derek takes one of them and starts rubbing comforting circles on the back of his hand. "You are one," he says softly, like he's trying not to spook Stiles with the declaration. Like Stiles' world didn't just shift irrevocably as he put the pieces together. "I don't really understand why your powers never unlocked, because traditionally speaking they should have kicked in your teen years. With the added clusterfuck of those years they definitely should have. They did not."

Again, he laughs humorlessly, and gives Derek a "duh" look. "Our lives have rarely dared to be traditional." He thinks back to all the awful things that have happened over the years to him, but mostly, as Derek put it, in those years. The Nogitsune was definitely the worst thing to happen to him, and holy shit. "Do you think it chose me because of my power? Rather than her?"

Derek doesn't answer for a moment. Then he says, "I think that is why you survived. Because of your Spark."

Oh. That... makes sense. Sort of. But that is the past, and they're in the present, and they're in fucking Bardo of all places. "Derek, I think I really need an explanation. Like right now. Including why you thought killing yourself was the best fucking idea."

Derek winces, but he also looks determined once Stiles' glare eases off of him. And they're still holding hands, which he realizes with a warmth he actually enjoys feeling. "When I got the call, I had an inkling... So I followed my instincts and ended up at probably our oldest vault."

"You knew what I am." He doesn't even feel angry. Somehow, Derek knowing a thing about him that nobody else does (and he is not counting Deaton as a factor here at all, that cryptic asshole), it feels nice.

Derek uses his free hand to tap at his chest, once, twice. "Instincts," he says, with the same effect as saying, "Werewolf," like he once used to, as if that was the answer to everything. "This illness confirmed it for me. I found a journal at the vault that belonged to that Spark, and in it, he detailed how the illness felt, how it spread, and how within weeks he could do nothing but lay on his cot." Derek swallows, his voice turning rough with choked up emotions. "Stiles, just reading it was so awful. I can't imagine..."

Derek Hale doesn't cry. He feels deeply, and he cares even deeper, but he doesn't cry, not in front of people.

But Stiles is not most people, and he is aware enough to know that he is, for some reason, one of the people who is most important to Derek. So as Derek breaks down at the idea of Stiles' suffering, Stiles reaches forward and brings his arms around Derek.

"I'm here," he assures, over and over again, until the words are stronger than Derek's shaking. "I'm right here," he says one last time, and stays close to the man he loves most for an indeterminate amount of time, silently not-breathing together.

Stiles breaks the silence with, "I love you, you know?" He had promised to not say it to Derek. To not burden him. But here they are, in Bardo. Together. A Pack of two who would do all that is possible and all that is not to protect the other. Derek deserves to know he is loved.

The way Derek's arms tighten around him says he doesn't know. And when Derek pulls back, just a little to stare at Stiles like this is unbelievable, Stiles pulls him back in by grabbing his hands and putting one on his chest, the other on his face. He kisses the inner palm of the latter, and smiles brightly. "Never thought I'd say it. Especially once I was on my deathbed. Still hate that you chose to die with me, but I'm hoping you have a plan, and you deserve to know. You're amazing and I love you, Derek Hale."

The smile he gets is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and Derek presses forward until their foreheads are resting against each other's. "Samuel," he says.

"Derek Samuel Hale? Samuel like Sam and Dean's grandpa?"

Derek does a snort-chortle thing, then says in the small space between them, "Shut up, Stiles."

"Shutting up."

The silence stretches, and they stay together, seizing the moment. Who knew Bardo could be peaceful? Except...

"Our escape plan? See, I'd love to explore you biblically anywhere and everywhere, but I would much rather do it on —"

"Stiles."

Derek's look of scandalized horror makes Stiles laugh until he's being hauled off in his strong, muscled arms like a sack of potatoes and starts walking. "I don't know why I love you too."

"This is just sexy. I don't think you know what you're doing to me."

"I can still smell your arousal, Stiles. I know."

"You know loads of things. What else do you know?" He says it in a simpering, sexy voice, and then giggles as Derek stumbles a step before balancing himself.

"I know how to escape. We need a bed, yes? So stop distracting me and let me do my thing."

Stiles is just glad he is already in Derek's arms, because otherwise he would have swooned and fallen into them.

The escape plan is easy and a let down, if he's being completely honest. What they need are:

A Spark's Belief ✅️

An Alpha's Roar ✅️ (When did Derek become an Alpha again?)

An Anchor on The Other Side ✅️ (Peter)

An Incantation That Derek Has Memorized ✅️

To Stand Where The Veil is Thinnest ✅️ (Derek's instincts strike yet again)

All in all, it is very anti-climactic, and very dirty as they end up materializing in a clearing near the Nemeton which is muddy. Peter looks one look at them and says, "Finally."

Stiles isn't sure if he meant it for them coming back or for Stiles and Derek finally confessing to each other. Either way, Peter hands them clean clothes and agrees to drive them back to Stiles' house, where apparently everyone is in a panic because "Stiles dissappeared."

"It's only been like, an hour or something," Stiles says, confused, as he changes into the clean t-shirt while Peter faces the other way and Derek stares, unabashed, much to Peter's verbal disgust.

Peter takes a break from chastising his nephew to say, "It's been 72 hours."

Huh.

"We should get going then," he says, and Peter sighs.

"If only you could ask my dear nephew to rein in his urges."

Stiles throws Derek a glare, who rolls his eyes but obliges. However the glare the turns into an appreciative look over Derek's abs, and Peter throws up his hands.

*

Acclimating to having magic is easy when he already has an anchor. Derek's presence is both wanted and needed, and despite Scott's insistence that another Alpha cannot stay in town, Derek stays as long as Stiles does.

Two weeks pass before Stiles calls back his boss and lets her know that he's now alright, and then he's promptly being shipped off to another state for a case. Everyone has already congratulated him on both being alive and doing something about his pining, so they throw a simple dinner on his last night in town and Stiles watches, with amusement and fondness, as all the people in his heart mingle with easy conversations and banter.

Peter chooses to stay in town to reconnect with Malia in person, while Cora deems it better to go back to her Pack in South America. Lydia and Jackson leave together for London, but Isaac decides to stay back.

When Stiles asks him why, he says, "Liam needs a good mentor. His control is weak. I can help him, plus, Derek needs a pack."

Stiles raises an eyebrow. "Liam is Scott's beta," he says.

"None of them have a pack bond," Isaac fire backs, and oh.

Derek must have heard the conversation, too, because he comes over and claps Isaac on the back, proud and all smiley, and Stiles can't help but lean in to kiss it. To taste the constant joy off of Derek's face, to give him his own in return. The action is met with Derek's soft moan and a ring of disgusted groaning from the others, including his dad's.

Stiles laughs after he pulls back, and looks around at the lot of them. There's tragedy woven into all of their lives, but there's also happiness.

Who knew getting ill would lead to this? To re-founding a family?

Maybe Derek knew, the bastard. Loveable bastard, though.

[ultimate-marysue]

Jason thinks he's safe. He's 6 feet tall, and not even completely done growing (he can gain maybe an inch before his mid 20s). He's already taller than Dick, and his brother isn't growing any taller. If he's right, he might actually get to Bruce's height and, when entropy inevitably comes knocking on the Bat's door, eventually surpass. He'd shrink down like all old people do.

No, the only real competition is in the younger generation, and Tim's not getting anywhere near his height. The future version of him he met was around 6ft... which is short people talk for "under 6ft but close enough to bluff". And that's without taking into account the fact that he was wearing platform boots. Tim may have omitted that from his story, but Kon had the facts straight.

Babs, Cass and Steph were also out of the running. Sadly for the Batgirls, none of them were Amazonians. Batwoman on the other hand...she came close, but close was not enough to win.

Damian was a mystery. Ras and Bruce were both 6'2 and Talia was not short either. He had also always been short for his age, but that does nothing to predict at which height he'd max out. He has unlimited potential and that's problematic, but he'll burn that bridge once he gets to it.

Things were looking great for him, that's until Duke showed up of course. 5'9 at 15 (two whole inches above average), and he seems to be growing by the week. Worst part is, Dick and Tim have ungraciously accepted defeat and are now banking on Duke to be the one that surpasses Bruce the fastest. Jason starts helping him find a cure for his parents so he can return to them before hitting 6 feet. He reasons he still has time before the kid's 18, except Duke reaches the mark at 16 and a half.

There are cheers from the "avenged" siblings, promises from Damian to outgrow him. Duke just pats Jason's shoulder

"Should I call you little brother now?"

"Fuck off, we're the same height."

"So what you're saying is 'give it a couple months'?"

He never lives it down.

[rockwgooglyeyes]

Really, what CURE highlights is Ivan's sense of self- or lack thereof.

"you can break me apart"

"to quiet my fears, I'll drown in you"

"consume me, yes, me"

Maybe this is why, overall, I think Ivan wrote the lyrics more than I believe Till did. While we know Till to be a producer and lyricist, the content of the lyrics themselves are really what put that final nail in the coffin for me. I don't really believe that Till would have a desire for Mizi to hurt him, even in a romantic way. His affection for her seems far more pure than that, something where violence and injury are absent, something happy and bright where there are no worries. Mizi might be Till's reason to believe in the world and the future, as she shows him a possibility of goodness and happiness, but she doesn't seem to distract him from his own fears. In fact, his admiration of her from afar is a behavior that's an extension of his fears and insecurities, stemming from his superiority complex where people don't like him, it's because he's better than them and they know it. But not only that, adding onto that superiority complex, Till has a fear of vulnerability (or he just doesn't want to be perceived as weak) due to his traumas and I don't think that he would want Mizi to "break him apart." Then again I might be splitting hairs and I might be wrong. These are just my thoughts at the moment

Back to Ivan, though. He's . . . *sighs* his sense of self worth is pretty much nonexistent. He thinks very poorly of himself, he's part of the crowd who call him a freak and a pervert and a monster. He believes himself to be something wretched and broken, in need of fixing and yet, unfixable. He's just as afraid of vulnerability as Till is, ironically, but it's for a different reason- Ivan is afraid of laying it all bare and having someone confirm his suspicions that there's something irrevocably wrong with him. He's not insecure in the same way Till is, because he believes wholeheartedly that he's fucked up and that he's unlovable and that's how he got here. It's not Till who *needs* to love him back, or anything like that, it's Ivan that's the problem.

That's why "consume me" and "you can break me apart" and "to quiet my fears, I'll drown in you" are so utterly Ivan. Ivan would be happy to be consumed by someone he loved because that way, he's useful. He's sustaining them. He would be happy to be broken apart by someone he loves because that way, they can get their anger out on someone without any consequences, because he doesn't mind, he's happy to be the meat on their chopping block. He will use a person he loves as a distraction from his own doubts and fears because, hey, he already knows what's wrong with him but there are so many wonderful people around him, who he can help support. His problems aren't what's important because he doesn't have problems, not real ones, anyways. He can't compare to any of his friends, he has a guardian who doesn't actively physically abuse him, and he's famous. What more could he ask for?

Also I think the "sick of these nights to come" is in reference to the possibility of Ivan winning and being forced to live in a world without Till, a comparatively quiet universe. Anyayws. starred crossed doomed yaoi my belvoed. if anyone calls them toxic i will have questions because i want to know your reasoning and if i can dispute it because maybe im wrong!

[silhouetteonpaper]

Pessimism and Pancakes

Summary: When you wake up feeling off, your girlfriend knows exactly what you need—and she won’t give up easily. Wanda Maximoff x Reader WC: 1,046 Warnings/Themes: Angst to fluff :)

Your alarm blares the same obnoxious sound that drills into your head every morning. Quickly reaching to stop the noise, you tuck yourself back under the heavy pile of blankets in a tired haze. With an exasperated sigh, you turn your head to glance at the time. 7:00 am, the same time you wake up every single day.

But this morning is different, like a thick fog has settled over your body, trapping you from doing anything. You’re supposed to train with Wanda like you do every morning, but something in you makes you slowly close your eyes instead. Maybe a few more hours of sleep would cure this hazy feeling.

It feels like barely any time has passed when there’s a knock on your bedroom door. Whoever’s there pauses before walking in, the door closing behind them. You’re too far under the covers to see who it is, let alone care who’s there.

“Are you awake?” A Sokovian accent fills your ears, immediately alerting you to the woman standing next to your bed. None other than Wanda, here to see why you weren’t in the training room. You only groan in response, still half asleep. “Why are you still in bed?” She asks.

A part of you prepares for her to be mad, but the other half still couldn’t care less. Now blinking away the remaining sleepiness, you can’t help but feel fatigued in your awakened state. You simply ignore her, hoping she’ll just go away if you don’t move a muscle. But the bed dips, and you can tell she’s sitting right beside you.

“Are you alright?” Wanda asks, reaching for the top of the blankets. She attempts to pull them down, but finds you tightly holding them above your head. Not only was missing training unlike you, but hiding like this was even more out of character.

“I’m fine.” You voice, the sound muffled. Wanda doesn’t buy it though, trying to pry the blankets down once more. The frustration in you grows, wanting nothing more than to be left alone right now. You feel off kilter—even while laying down, like your mind is unwilling to think without every single thought falling into a hopeless dark depth.

“I said I’m fine Wanda!” You snap, your head popping above the sheets as you pull them tightly to your chest, snatching them from her arms. She raises her eyebrows in surprise, slightly caught off guard by your behavior. You’re never this short with anyone.

“What’s going on? First you miss training, and now this?” She questions, her expression filling with concern. At first she was assuming you missed your alarm, or maybe wanted to sleep in after a long day yesterday, but your actions now prove otherwise.

“Sorry that I don’t want to do the same thing every day. Next time I want to live in a time loop I’ll call Strange.” You jab, huffing as you turn your back to Wanda completely. She pauses for a moment, exhaling as she thinks. You can tell she’s playing with her rings, she always does when she breathes like that.

Maybe a part of you feels bad about how you’re acting, but you don’t have enough energy to care right now. After a minute of sitting in silence, you feel Wanda stand. It isn’t until the bedroom door clicks shut that you know she’s gone.

You inhale deeply, hoping a regulating breath of air will calm this growing pit in your stomach. It doesn’t. It’s not like you have a high-stakes mission coming up, or even a stressful meeting. The feeling just sits inside you and nothing seems to shake it.

The ever-growing pessimistic thoughts pause as you hear the door swing open once more, this time without a knock beforehand. “Alright, I’ve got pancakes with all your favorite toppings. Time to sit up!” Wanda exclaims, placing something on the nightstand before yanking the pillows out from under you.

You groan, but ultimately listen as you know she won’t relent. Wanda sets up the pillows behind you as you lean against the headboard. She presents a tray full of fluffy pancakes, embellished with everything you usually put on them. “Wanda-“ You start, only to get interrupted.

“Nope, don’t talk to me until you’ve eaten. I know how you get when you don’t eat.” She smiles, sitting back down on the side of the bed. You shake your head, attempting to hide the smile on your face as you begin to eat.

“I’m sorry.” You voice through mouthfuls of her delicious home-made recipe. The guilt inside you grows after your bout of frustration directed at Wanda, and here she is making you food in return. She chuckles, shaking her head.

“You don’t need to be sorry, it’s okay to have an off day.” Wanda replies with a shrug. An off day, the kind of thing normal people have after a long week of work or a chaotic night prior. You’re anything from normal, living here in the Avengers Compound. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a rest day every now and again.

There’s been a handful of days when you’ve had to drag yourself out of bed, yet still you carry on with your day like usual. Something about today is different, though. Even though you feel compelled to leave your bed and get on with things, something inside you just physically… can’t.

“What are you thinking about?” The abnormal amount of time you’re stuck staring at your plate leaves Wanda curious. You snap back to reality, putting your fork down.

“I don’t know, I haven’t felt like this before. I just feel really… shitty.” You shrug, looking at Wanda like she has all the answers.

“That’s alright, we don’t have to train today. We don’t have to do anything today, if you don’t want to. All I ask is that you communicate to me where you’re at, so I know how to help you.” She offers with a warm expression. Now it’s your turn to smile at her, nodding as you continue eating your delicious breakfast.

“Thank you,” You add while finishing your last few bites of fluffy pancake. “Could we watch those sitcoms you like?

Wanda grins, “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”

[supershot73199]

Hey so this is kinda inspired by @virgamsysxvolumes lucky rush au but it's more my own twist on the bioshock inspiration. Actual prompt / idea below the cut

Ok so this would be a good parents au where Danny revealed himself to his parents shortly after the series (excluding phantom planet) and they were super supportive and asked for his help in learning more about ghosts. He also managed to track down Dani and brought her back to Amity only to learn that the ecto dejecto was only a quick fix. Eventually with Frostbites help they cure Dani but the only way is to essentially turn her into her core and let her form a new body in a special pod only she would be a baby. Now at first Jack and Maddie were going to fake a pregnancy and pretend she was Danny's and Jazz's sister however she and Danny bonded while they were looking for a cure and she accidentally called him Daddy. Danny was smitten and decided he would not pretend to be her brother and would be her dad.

The fentons pass it off as an invention gone weird that basically made a baby from Danny with no mother and Amity just shrugs at the Fenton weirdness and accept baby Dawn (She asked Danny to give her a new name before she was turned to a baby and I think that would be a cute name Danny would come up with.) Now 4 years later Danny is 19 or 20 and Dawn is 4 years old and Danny had been studying inventing like his parents and medicine from Frostbite. At Dawn's most recent check up Frostbite gave Danny one as well only to discover that Danny has been absorbing more ecto-energy than his core can handle because he is a primordial in the making (yes this is master of space Danny). So the solution to this is two-fold he has to move to another dimension with less ecto-energy and he has to where a special suit in his ghost form that frostbite and his parents made together. Which is this.

Just without the drill and maybe a little more astronaut themed.

So eventually they pack up Danny and Dawn and find a new dimension with a city where they can live without people asking too many questions. Gotham city. With the number of vigilantes already there Danny won't feel obligated to go out and fight and he can finish his degree at Gotham U and start a business making and selling meta specialized medical equipment and other helpful inventions. (But no weapons.)

So Danny and Dawn with their new identities and parents/grandparents, aunts and uncles (blood and honorary) settle in pretty well with Danny and Dawn going out on moonlit walks in Ghost form. Thus the people of Gotham meet Big Daddy and his little starlight.

Now as for who I would ship with Danny I personally love DannyxCass or Dead silent as I think the current ship name for them is.

So maybe she meets the single dad Danny at college or at the park for the first time but they don't really hit it off until Danny signs Dawn up for a ballet class that Cass teaches.

Meanwhile Bruce and the more paranoid Bat's are trying to find out more about this tank like Meta that the public named big daddy (I imagine people heard Dawn calling him Daddy and No one ever asked his name so they start calling him that as a sort of meme) after he beat down a feral ManBat who tried to go after Starlight. (They heard Danny call her that in the suit and ran with it)

Basically we have creepy tank man and his glowing ghostly daughter on one side and sweet Cass and Danny romance with little gremlin Dawn trying to play matchmaker on the other.

Also what I think the other bat's think of Cass new boyfriend.

Dick is full overprotective big brother.

Jason after seeing the way that Danny is trying to help the underprivileged and the fact that they are like something out of a Hallmark movie ships it.

Tim is paranoid about this stranger and is back to his old habits(stalking) to find answers.

Steph is full Gung ho wing women she will be Cass bridesmaid God dammit.

Damien starts off hostile thinking there is no way he's good enough for his favorite sister until he meets Dawn and suddenly he is declaring that Cass needs to hurry up and marry him or else he will because he will have that adorable little girl in his family no matter what.

Duke is wary at first because he hadn't ever seen someone who glows as bright as Danny and Dawn but the more time he spends with them the more he realizes that the bright glow is a safe and protective aura and that it reaches out and covers everyone Danny cares about. (Danny has a ghostly aura he subconsciously covers people he cares about with that let's him react to danger faster)

Alfred is already planning out weddings and birthdays. He always expected Dick to be the first one to give him Great grand babies but he's not complaining.

Bruce much like Dick is full over protective dad maybe he even borrows one of Alfred's guns to try to intimidate Danny.

Barbara who is both a big sister figure and a almost mother like figure to Cass is absolutely delighted. (It doesn't hurt that Danny made a set of leg braces that can read nerves to allow her to walk naturally again without needing surgery)

Selina adores the two and thinks they make a cute couple.

Also I think it would be funny if after all of Bruce, Dicks, and Tim's paranoia Danny just strait up tells them that he is from another dimension and even offers to let them tag along on the next visit to his parents so they can do a proper background check (which freaks them out because they hadn't told him they were doing that. At least until while they are discussing it and if that was evidence that Danny is more than he appears Cass says she told him that they were doing a background check on him. Not that Danny didn't already know but it helps the suspicion.)

But yeah part neutral Meta and park Hallmark romance.

Also maybe a side plot of Jazz coming to this dimension and maybe she has a relationship with Supergirl because I haven't seen that before.

[yuriisclumsy]

I'm so excited that more people started taking cale request!!!✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧

Anyway hiii! Can I have an enemy to lovers with cale henituse and fem.reader idk something cliche like a dance scene or one gets protective of the other or maybe a cute "oh shit I'm actually in love moment"

Sorry I'm bursting with ideas rn.~

Love's Dance

Part 1 (You are here) | Part 2 | Part 3

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 2,729

Authors note: You ask, and I shall deliver. PS. why did you give me such a good idea? like, I'm at 5k word for the overall thing, and I am not even done yet... (send help)

The streets of Roan Kingdom's Capital were bustling like usual. The vendors selling their goods, children running around carelessly, mothers screaming at them to not get dirty, and the usual underground activity Arm did. 

I strolled through these streets, thinking of nothing and relaxing ‘til I get another mission. 

“That reminds me…Arm has been quiet as of late. Sigh…they are up to no good…” I spoke to no one in particular, walking back to the Quiet Isle lodge. 

Quiet Isle is an inn in an area a little off the center of the Capital. I stayed there for the past three weeks after finishing my last mission. The price to stay is cheap, while still being comfortable. It has comfortable rooms, a clear view, free breakfast, and most importantly, it wasn’t noisy at all! Bonus points for the innkeepers, as they have been nothing but sweethearts.  

All-in-all, a good Inn if you’re looking to get your coins worth. 

I went through the inn’s doors, a sweet aroma of lavender hitting my nostrils as I neared the front desk.  

The Innkeepers were an old couple, and the misses genuinely enjoyed the smell of lavender. That is why, as you walk through the inn, you’ll be met with an influx of light purples from the flowers. 

Reaching the desk, I was greeted by a senior woman whose smile could cure all kinds of child injuries. 

“Oh! Why if it is the youth I’m all too familiar with!” The old granny said, delighted to see me. 

 “Greetings, Granny Fes,” I vowed curtly with a small smile. “Have there been any new guests at the inn?” I asked as she extended her hand to give me a piece of candy. 

Receiving the small candy, I offered a small ‘thank you.’ She said a quick ‘You’re welcome!’ before responding to my question. “Yes, yes! I welcomed a few new guests shortly after you left this morning for a stroll!” she excitedly told me. 

“Two of the five I welcomed are a couple expecting a child! Isn't that exciting? Ouu, to be young again…” 

“Oh, please. I say you are still quite young!” I say to get her head out of that cloud. 

“Fufufu, you are too kind [Name].” Granny Fes pinched my cheek as she got a bit flustered. “I believe one day you’ll meet a handsome young man that is suited just for you.” She added. 

I blushed a little, “Oh no, I don’t think that will happen…” I pause for a second. “Do you really think I’ll get lucky enough to have that...?” I asked, not believing I would get someone special to spend my days with. 

“Don’t give me that!” Granny Fes yelled, as if scolding one of her own. “You are beautiful! Which man wouldn't dream of having a wife such as yourself!?” 

All I could do was smile in response. This is how I want things to always go. Living in a peaceful area, sharing memories with people I meet along the way, even starting a family. Arm is nowhere near that picture. And it will never be. 

But alas. Good things always end. 

“Ah! That reminds me. [Name],” she called my name and handed me an envelope, “You received mail from a young lad. He said it was urgent.”  

Looking at the envelope as Granny Fes left to continue her job, I had an ominous feeling, yet I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.  

I turned it around only to see Arm’s seal stamped on it. Arm only sends letters if it is an important mission, and based on the color of the seal, it is of utmost importance.  

I am already not liking this I thought, refusing to open the letter. Maybe if I were to pretend its existence was nothing but a useless paper, it would disappear. But alas, I needed to open the envelope. With worry present in my face I opened it with the seal. Inside was a letter addressing Agent White Gold.  

That code name. It is the thing I despised most in this world. 

To Agent White Gold, 

Play time is up, White Gold. You have been assigned a mission in the Henituse Territory. We have discovered the traces of the leader of the organization known as ‘True Arm.’ Your mission is to go there and find out who the leader of the organization is, dead or alive. It is your choice which one you pick.  

A carriage will come to pick you up at sunrise, so don’t miss it.  

Once you arrive at your destination one of our men will greet you and guide you to your resting location and hand you an envelope. Inside, you will find descriptions of the one we are looking for, alongside a list of individuals that we found to match the description of our target. 

Remember, Agent, we are counting on your success. 

Don’t disappoint us, 

Arm 

Dammit… The moment I receive some peace after working for them like a slave…! I angrily store the letter to shreds, as if it were them instead of the letter. All I wanted was to disappear from the eyes of those bastards. They took me from my home, changed me to fit in an identity they made…they just can’t leave me alone, can they? 

 

I wanted to say no. To be able to run away to a far corner of the world so they would never be able to find me. But it is impossible. No one leaves. Rather, they die. Dying was the only way out. 

Yet, I want to live. 

I looked at Granny Fes as she talked with a few guests that were checking out. At that moment I knew that if I tried to escape, they would get everyone I was surrounded by. She doesn't deserve that. Neither does her husband, or her children and grandchildren. 

It is best I comply. 

“Sigh…Once you're in, there is no escaping their grasp…”  

The sky was tainted in hues of blues, purples, and oranges. The sun was rising from the nap it took, and fully ready to greet us. 

A carriage arrived early at the Quiet Isle Inn. Inside stood Granny Fes and Gramps Liy right next to me. Their eyes expressed sadness when looking at me. 

“Why so sad?” I asked the couple. 

“Oh, it’s just…it’s just that we’re both sad you’re leaving so soon.” Granny Fes confessed. Her husband, a bit more stubborn, only scuffed. Granny Fes elbowed him hard with a smile still shooting at me, gaining a small scowl from Gramps Liy. 

“AGHEM,” he raised one hand to fake a cough, “I guess you will be missed.” 

I laugh at his antics. Deep down he cares, he just has an unconventional way of expressing his feelings. 

“I’ll miss the two of you.” I looked at them with a small hinge of sadness but kept a smile to reassure them. I looked outside to see the coachman wave his hand signaling that he was ready for departure. “It seems I must go,” I turned to them, “see you later?” 

“Yes, yes. Goodbye little lady.” Gramps Liy ‘shud’ me to the carriage as he and his wife stared at me opening the door of the carriage. 

“Farewell, sweetheart. Make sure to take good care of yourself. And remember to look out for good lads while you’re traveling!” Granny Fes nagged me like I was about to never come back. Although, she was right about that. I don’t think I will be able to come back if I want to protect them. 

I laughed and said a small ‘I will!’ as I climbed into the carriage. Closing the door the carriage started moving. I waved to the couple one last time before I could not see them anymore. 

Sighting, I took out the map I packed. Looking at my destination, it was a few days from the capital. “This is going to be a loong trip…” I commented, making myself comfortable for the journey ahead. 

I hope I get this mission done quickly, so I can get another vacation from Arm. I looked up at the ceiling. I mean…how hard could it be to find this ‘leader’ anyways? 

… 

An old butler walks dutifully around the state halls. In hand, he holds a tray with a fancy tea set with a steel dome keeping the food inside warm; its aroma could be smelled by the passing housekeepers with wet laundry. 

The butler knocked at a door, he did not have to wait long, as he got an immediate response from the person inside. Opening the door he says his greetings. 

“Good morning, young master. I brought breakfast along with your favorite drink.” He says as he places down the tray on the table close to the window. 

“Ah, thank you, Ron.” A male voice thanked the butler. 

“It is my pleasure, young master Cale.” The butler, Ron, bowed. 

The man, who is now identified as Cale, sat down on the table to enjoy his breakfast. 

“Young master, if I may…” Ron waited for permission to continue speaking. 

“*Sight* Just spit it out.” Cale said in an uninterested voice. This is another one of his tangents. Drinking the lemonade that Ron made as he thinks of Ron’s earlier endeavors. 

Ron smiled, “I have detected Arm activity within the city.” 

“PFF–” spilling all the lemonade on the cup, he looked at Ron with widened eyes.

What is Arm doing here?! They have more pressing issues to deal with! Like, figuring out who Real Arm is! Cale’s thought went haywire.

 

Ron took his handkerchief out and gave it to Cale to use. 

“What do you mean there is Arm activity in the city? Is it more bombs?” He asked while using the cloth given to him to clean the mess he made. 

He shook his head, “no, at least not yet. I have seen them snoop around the city for information. It would seem we left them a small lead.” 

“Not good…” 

“If you’d prefer, young master, I could go rabbit hunting.” 

Looking at Ron with a drop of sweat evident in his forehead, he reluctantly answered. “...do whatever you want.”  

“Hehe. Then I will take my leave.” He bowed before leaving the room without making a sound. 

Scary old man. He looked outside pouring more lemonade in his cup. It’s not a good sign if Arm is here. I need to prepare in case they strike. 

… 

“Hey, wake up! We’re almost there!” 

“WHAT? HUH–huh?” I got up from my seat at lightning speed, looking around in a daze. As I scoot closer to the window, I see the giant walls looming overhead. On top of one of the towers built in the wall was a flag. It was the Henituse’s family crest imprinted on it.  

I’m already in the Henituse territory! 

Getting closer at the entrance door of the city, the carriage stopped, as they had to do a check before letting anyone in. 

“Execute me, m’lady. May I have your identification paper?” A soldier asked me. 

Security check? When I traveled to other places, they didn’t ask for my identification but the coachman’s. 

I handed him the paper without complaint, receiving it right after he checked that everything was good. The other soldiers gave him a thumbs up after checking the carriage and the coachman. Without further interruption they let us through, wishing us a happy stay. 

“That was…something.” 

The coach man dropped me off at a tavern near the city square. Going upstairs to the second floor of the establishment, I sat down at a table near the edge of the balcony. Waiting for the man that was supposed to give me the information mentioned in the letter I looked out into the streets, I could see the liveliness of the people.  

They were too lively in my opinion. 

Hearing footsteps approaching my table I diverted my attention to them. I was greeted with a man wearing a hat with fancy clothing. 

“Hello, m’lady,” the man greeted by taking his hat off and vowing curtly. 

Didn’t know Arm also had rich allies. I thought, seeing the man's mannerisms. 

“Good evening,” I vowed slightly, “are you the one mentioned in the letter?” 

“Eager now, are we?” He sat down in front of me with a smug smile. He placed his hat down before taking out an envelope. He slid it across the table. As I grabbed it, I took out its content.  

It was a list of suspects. They all had red hair and were male. And that was it. No underground activities, no records, nothing. 

“That’s…it?”  

This is the only information they managed to find…seriously? I thought. Was someone able to sneak past Arm’s noses? How is that even possible? 

“Unfortunately, it is.” 

“Ha...!” I laughed at the absurdity of the situation. I looked up at the man after reviewing the list of suspects.  

“This is the only description we managed to find,” the smile on his face dropped into a frown, “only at the low cost of our scouts: a single spy was able to escape long enough to hide a piece of paper in a tree trunk…” he said. 

“....” I looked down at the list.  

To be able to kill all of our scouts…this is no meek foe. Just thinking of how strong they are sends shivers down my spine…  

“I have arranged a small room at an Inn close by here. I have left some equipment at your disposal. The location is on one of the papers in the envelope.” The man stood up and put his hat on, adjusting his suit a little before looking at me.  

“If you need anything else, I left a card at your place with instructions as to how you can contact me. Remember I’m at your service m’lady, Tata! ~” 

“I will keep that in mind.” 

Watching as he disappeared behind the doors of the second floor, I decided to order something to eat before heading to my fixed place. 

…

 

“…a festival?” Cale looked at the flier given to him. 

“That’s right,” Count Deruth, Cale’s father, said nonchalantly, “the festival will brighten the people's moods, as well as show that we are financially good.” 

Politics…. 

! 

“Wait, here it says the ‘Henituse’s’ are attending…I don’t have to attend…right?” 

Deruth raised an eyebrow in question. “You don’t have to go.” 

“...” 

I must go. *Sight* My well-deserved rest has been postponed once again… can’t I catch a break for once? 

“On that note, I have reserved a spot on the city square where we will be presiding during the time,” he said as Cale gave him back the paper.  

“You don’t have to talk–or better said–you don’t have to even move. Just sitting there is enough.” 

Cale smiled at this I don’t have to move? Seems perfect to me! 

“I’ll be attending in that case.” 

“The festival will start in a few days. Be ready.” 

Cale exited his father’s study, walking back to his room. 

I need to tell Ron about this. It’ll be no surprise if Arm takes advantage of the festival. There stands a man with black hair waiting outside Cale’s room for him to come. 

“!” 

“Young master Cale!” The man runs towards him with puppy-like energy. 

“Choi Han, is there something you need?” Cale asked. 

“I heard from Ron that there have been suspicious activities happening in the city. So, I came to ask for permission to investigate.” Hans explained. 

Cale hummed. Strange. Usually, you would do these types of things without letting me know. Perhaps he thinks this is a bit dangerous and if he doesn't return, we know where to look? 

“You can do as you please, no need to ask for my permission.” 

“I see…thank you young master,” Han vowed, “I will report back immediately once I find anything!” As he said that, he began to leave. 

“Oh, and, Choi Han?” Cale spoke before he could fully leave. 

“Yes, Cale?” 

“If you find anything, make sure to report first. Don’t go around making havoc, got it?” Cale instructed. 

“...yes” he responded with a bit of thinking, knowing it was the best decision. 

Let’s see what they have in store for us. Cale entered his room, he’ll laze around until the festival actually begins. What a bother… 

… 

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Master-List

[blacksorrow-untiltheend]

oh.

Ok.

Hi guys.

My friend and I were on call, and we were rewatching Alien Stage together.

Normal stuff, right?

But then she points out something. Something that I did NOT notice before. Like, at all.

Tw for mentions of SA and abuse

ok. There’s one scene— the scene in Cure, where Till finds out Mizi is missing. If you don’t pay attention, you’ll miss it.

In this part, Till’s already being treated horribly— which, isn’t it normal in a fucked up world where Aliens only see humans as pets, and make them compete for their lives in a singing competition?

In the part after this, His head literally gets shoved down— that’s already a lot of abuse. And, like I mentioned earlier, the aliens only see humans as pets, so isn’t this “normal”?

There’s a frame for maybe two seconds, but you could easily miss it if you blink.

It disgusts me— yeah, the reason this is happening is because he fought back, but the way they’re manhandling him? It’s horrible. And something tells me this isn’t even the first time, depending on how his whole trait is being rebellious? Yeah, he’s definitely gone through this before. and that’s horrible.

This part kinda makes me cry. The alien— for one, has partially no clothes on, besides its jacket. Till looks famished, he looks so tired, it’s so upsetting. Using these two things, we can assume they’ve done something to Till. And based on the hallucination of Mizi, it’s not impossible that he might’ve been drugged. (Less likely, but still.)

This part is me speaking from experience—

The way the Alien pets Till’s hair, as if to “comfort” him, is something a lot of Sexual assaulters do to their victims.

Here’s a reminder; a sexual assaulter can be ANYONE. Friend, family, “trusted” adult, anyone. And they will make the victim feel like it’s their fault. After they’ve done those terrible things to their victims, they won’t always leave them alone. They might treat the victim like a partner would after sexual intercourse— kindly, comfortingly, doing actions that would soothe their partner. They’ll make the victim think that it’s okay, and it wasn’t a big deal.

This is what’s happening to Till. There’s a possibility that he thinks it’s fine, despite being so tired and hurt, because it’s higher ups, it’s his master, or something else. This isn’t quite confirmed but, in my own experience, SA victims can become hostile, and will run or fight if someone tries to touch them. And till? Well, he’s hostile, and he runs away a lot. Right?

And god knows if the others have gone through this too. My goodness.

When Ivan goes to free Till, he’s passed out. They left him there.

That’s what happens with sa victims sometimes.

The assaulter treats the victim so nicely, and then leaves. Because they always leave, eventually. They leave the victim alone, feeling disgusted by themself

I love the way vivinos handled this. Not straight out saying, “oh Till got SA’d”, or something. They showed it, but in a way that not only is it not being sexualized, but it’s also painting a picture of the fact that sexual assault is anything, and it can happen to anyone. It’s a common shit idea misconception for a group of people that “females are the only ones who can get assaulted!” When that’s obviously not the case. Is Till a female? No. Did he go through that? Yes.

Tl;dr — Vivinos is awesome when it comes to handling topics that are big and relevant. And Till deserves a better life

Also, I didn’t give a good explanation, so please go and read other ones that are better.

And if you’re an SA victim, just know; you are not alone.

[shakingparadigm]

Seeing all those analysis posts about how Till liked Mizi because she was gentle while not giving the same attention to Ivan because he wasn't... how Ivan might have made Till uncomfortable because he expressed his admiration for Till through violence because he liked how Till had the courage to fight back...

I was wandering if Ivan ever realized that the way he went about showing his feelings wasn't positive for Till and he fucking did. "I wish I had been kinder" he fucking regrets dude, fuck me man.

(This veered wildly off-topic I am so sorry.)

Coming back to this ask after the most recent R6 update is interesting.

I've always wondered why they chose the title Cure in particular. I was expecting a song title along the lines of Star or something abyssal. Then I thought about Till's affiliation with experiments and drugs and the various ways he was hurt. Cure... It also brings to mind how the content for Ivan highlights his "oddness", how he's framed as someone different, almost wrong in a sense. There's something that he lacks, something that he feels the need to fix, to cure.

In the recent ROUND 6 production post, the true meaning is revealed. You're right on a certain level, but as always, it's complicated.

Both Ivan and Till seek a certain type of "healing", maybe to compensate for their pain, their oddness and their loneliness. They wish to be cured of their suffering somehow and they seek the solution in other people.

QMENG states that Till desires a type of healing that Ivan cannot provide, and vice versa.

It goes without saying, pretty common knowledge at this point, but Till is a lot softer under his rebellious front. As someone who's been beat and abused his whole life, it makes sense that that type of love he'd want is something gentler, something stable. It's incredibly obvious in the way he acts towards Mizi. She's so genuine, so bright, untainted by the cruel reality of the world. Till softens around her, since she has only showed him kindness he in turn shows her the sweetest side of himself. He's had nothing stable to cling onto before, so he immediately becomes attached to this idealized version of Mizi. He believes she's the only person who can provide him with what he needs, the only one who can "heal" him.

It's outright stated that Ivan cannot provide that type of "healing" that Till is looking for. Ivan does try, of course. Unfortunately, he lacks something fundamental. Because of this he expresses himself in rather childish ways, which may involve a little cruelty and attention-seeking. A lot of Ivan's actions are muddled by his complicated feelings as well, as its stated that his true emotions and intentions are difficult to grasp. With Till, Ivan wants to save and be saved, hurt and heal him, keep him and set him free. Live for him and die for him. He criticizes Sua on the ethics of self-sacrifice and then goes on to do the same himself. With Ivan, everything contradicts.

He tries desperately to be the cure that Till needs, but due to his incredibly complex nature that "healing" will never be just healing. It may come with more pain and confusion despite his best efforts.

I don't think Till refused to give Ivan attention because he wasn't gentle enough, rather I think it's because everything was so complicated whenever Ivan was involved. Ivan is there for him in his times of need and causes a fair bit of trouble during the rest. He's strange and hard to grasp, but he's familiar. Calling each other "friends" seemed like such an inadequate label because they're simultaneously too close and not close enough. Ivan does wish he was kinder, though. Not only to Till, but to Sua and most likely a few other people as well. There's a lot of aspects in which Ivan wishes he were different, and it's tragic to hear how he deprecates himself in his final moments for it.

There's the second half of QMENG's statement as well, "vice versa". Till cannot provide what Ivan needs either, but Ivan desperately desires it anyway.

Ivan views Till as his cure. He wants to not only "heal" Till, but to be healed by him as well. This desire can be seen in the lyrics of Cure:

Notice my pain

And mend me right now

To quiet my fears

I'll drown in you

(The wish for "healing" is stated.)

In your gaze, where I’m seen

Consume me, yes, me, oh, oh

(Ivan urges Till to "consume" him like medicine, he wishes to be what Till needs.)

Ivan lacks something, and he believes that Till can make up for that lack which is why he's so fascinated by him. If Ivan is a black abyss, Till is a supernova, bringing life to an empty void. Unfortunately, Till is explosive and rather inept at handling his own extreme emotions, which causes him to either lash out violently or retreat further inward and push Ivan away. He's also a thoroughly destructive and hurt individual, seeking his own cure in another form. He cannot provide what Ivan needs.

Both Ivan and Till are incredibly volatile. That's not to say they don't have their gentler sides, but overall they've been doomed from the start. Ultimately it's no fault of theirs, they did what they could with their complicated feelings and fought through their own respective hells.

In the end, Ivan had to come to terms with the fact that he couldn't get the "healing" he needed and could never be what Till needed, either. That's why he finally acted on his impulses and let his complicated feelings win over, resulting in his death. Despite all the heartache, his final thoughts are a statement of gratitude. Truly a tragedy.

[sky-is-the-limit]

Afab!reader x Abby Anderson

CW: NSFW, Masturbation

/ / /

Can you imagine being Abby's first gay sexual awakening? She started dating Owen because she felt like 'she had to'. He was her best friend, a person she trusted and cared for, and everyone else their age was starting to get their first romances, experiencing their first kiss so it was only natural that she felt like she also had to do the same thing.

And Owen was always there for her, especially after her dad was murdered, he was kind and took care of her when she was left with no one, so when he kissed her, she kissed back, obligation eating her alive. It was engraved in her head that she owed him at least that even if she didn't get all these butterflies and excitement the other girls were talking about.

There were no sparks, no feeling your knees getting weak, no thinking about it all the time. At first, she truly believed that that's how romance was supposed to be experienced. Then her first time happened and she thought that maybe something was wrong with her. Not only she wasn't enjoying it, she couldn't wait for it to be over. Again and again. It was purely just for Owen, for always being there.

When they finally broke up, she felt guilty for feeling relieved because she truly loved him and cared for him. It just felt.. different. She didn't want to lose her best friend or for things to get awkward, and so she thought that it was what people call a 'heartbreak'. She couldn't understand, though, why not spending the nights with him felt like a cure to an everlasting sickness.

And then you came along. It felt like she was living in a dark room her whole life, and you just walked in with your soft skin, eyes radiating warmth and flipped the switch. Suddenly, she could see crystal clear what it was.

The butterflies abruptly made their appearance, and it was all because of you. At first, she wasn't sure if she liked this change. How her confidence came crumbling down whenever you two were patrolling together, turning her into a mass of nerves. How she could feel her cheeks fill with blood, fighting with all her being not to blush but failing whenever your skin brushed hers. How her core pulsed with anticipation whenever she could steal a look at your cleavage or bare legs whenever you put on a skirt.

Ultimately, she experienced the craving to touch herself alone at night when she was laying between the sheets, caressing her skin softly, dreaming it was your hand instead. Improper thoughts of you started clouding her mind, desire filling up her body, feeling her core pulse and twitch as her fingertips find their way down to her clit and she wondered.. How would your touch feel, how would you do it.. or if you would let her do it to you instead.

Soft whines escaping her parted lips, her movements picking up the pace, making her hips back up and down against the bed, craving friction, craving you with every fiber of her body, mind and soul.

She can't help but say your name breathlessly, sucking on her own finger before slowly bringing it down to wet her nipple, sending a shiver down her spine as she drags her fingertips through her own slick arousal.

There wasn't a moment in her life so far that made her feel like such a mess. Suddenly the cool temperature of the room turned into unbearable heat, sweat dripping down from her forehead, brown hair messy against her pillow as she bucks up her hips against her palm, biting down on her bottom lip in an unsuccessful attempt to be quiet but as she gets closer to her climax, she can't control it.

Suddenly it's hard to breathe, her thighs start to tremble whilst her fingers stroke her clit faster, she can feel it coming. It's an unprecedented sensation, sending her body in trance. The thought of you kissing her, touching her, brings her finger back into her mouth, wetting it with the tip of her tongue. Would you let her do that? Stuff her long fingers in your mouth while she's grinding her hot core against yours? A soft moan fell from her lips at the thought of it, pinching her nipple, her eyelids fluttering to the sensation.

For Abby, it didn't occur to her along with an existential crisis. She expected a thousand powerful waves crushing down on her like they do when there's a storm. That never happened. To her, it felt like the calm that follows after.

[gojicorps]

I've been trying to make this post for a while... This is my OC "master post"

This is Ltw, if you dig stories of super heroes with a bunch of teenager drama and high school tropes, this isn't the story for you! Sorry, but this gender is already really saturated so I tried to mix and match different tropes across the medias to create a weird love letter to Comics, Tokusatsu and anything that I really enjoy. It's a coming of age story about Hart Lee Valentine, who chose to left his father house to live with his uncle in a city called Saint Expedite, famous for crimes, urban legends and some of the worst pizza you can ever imagine, an absolute paradise for someone who really wants to have a fresh restart in life.

The cast consists mainly of this 5 characters.

Hart Lee Valentine: He's the son of the smartest man alive... But this is just a media claim, his father helped cure one of the weirdest illness know to mankind. But that doesn't matter at all, Valentine is already living under the shadow of his only parent alive (wink, wink) he starts as a calm and collected person but gradually starts loosing his manners, becoming an unhinged not so crazy science. He has an odd sense of justice but he's MOSTLY a pacifist who will try to talk before throwing hands around.

His favorite animals are moths and ducks, dor different reasons, in his opinion moths are our saviours from the monstrosities called butterflies. And ducks because he loves how versatile they are, he identifies with that Jack of all trades style.

Sadako Atsuko: She's the local emo weirdo girl of the class, nobody knows much about her and her brother Helis, they live together in a mansion in the middle of the city, she's always tired, not in the best mood and usually sassy. People don't know but she's actually heiress of The Atsuko family, one of Japan's most advance tech companies, she's also a city vigilant who uses fear to stop crime... Yeah she's basically my universe version of the Batman, her character is driven by masks and alter egos, she feels incapable of leading a normal life since she's shattered between personas, not knowing who's the real her, not knowing how to express her true self. Those burdens started to get louder to the point she started playing instruments, as a therapy, but this basically turned into another problem, her days are getting too short to accomplish all her desires.

Her favorite animal is the bat, the long eared ones! So yeah she's basically using a fursuit to fight crime.

Helis: Sadako's adoptive brother, he's basically the group heart, trying to make their maniacal schemes be a little more unhinged, he's the protector and the tallest one of them. Those responsabilities are instantly forgotten when he's near Valentine, something about him makes Helis adopt a more act first think later persona, but they usually have fun with that. He's the one that gives unsolicited advices with the bestest intentions he wants to know more about his origin and maybe who's his real family but that's more a monkey palm situation that doesn't goes well when he meets his father and sister. He usually helps Sadako in her schemes, usually to treat her wounds while calls her irresponsible, dummy or anything in between those lines (she doesn't even get a cute animal band-aid...) oh he has an abnormal strength and light based power's, but that doesn't matter much to him.

His favorite animals are giraffes, he likes that they have the strongest kick, and besides their pattern is beautiful.

Ettore Zanchini: the definition of overcompensate! He simply is a tryhard in absolutely everything, he has a rivalry with Helis, Sadako and sometimes even Valentine, everything he does is trying to be the best. He likes classy outfits and good manners, he's a true gentleman with a short temper and overachiever, even though he doesn't need to prove himself that much. He's the best athlete of the school and won several fencing medals, he usually fights using two rapiers for the simple reason that this is a really dumb idea, so it's a good exercise.

He really likes Wolves and Stags, specially because they're the princes of the forest, he definitely cried with Bambi but keeps it hidden.

Stefanny: Starting as a villainess, Stef is the last one to join the crew, she's really unused to a bunch of stuff the others enjoy but tries her best to get ahold of everything, she's not the warmest person and can be really misunderstood, she's gruff and goes direct to the point in most of her interactions, some have the audacity to call her impolite, BUT SHE'S NOT! She's just not used to have conversations longer than 45 seconds or with people that aren't psycho's, she and Sadako get along pretty well, perhaps because of all their battles and training, oh and even though she's all cool and collected... She has fire powers, yeah they are neat I guess.

Her favorite animal are salamanders, she loves those little moist dragons!

[420technoblazeit]

in my mind dean was always supposed to get older and become the new bobby. like ok you're a hunter, maybe a little new to the scene and still figuring things out. and you're tracking down a werewolf, easy case. except some things don't line up quite right and now you're thinking it might not actually be a werewolf. so you ask around a hunter's bar and they all say the same thing. go to this one bunker in the middle of nowhere in kansas

and you're like sure what the hell. you're stumped anyway, might as well check it out. maybe it's a weapons storehouse or something. but then you get there and there's a doorbell and a bee-shaped welcome mat out front and you're starting to think you've got the wrong place. the door swings open and there's this middle aged guy with a robe and batman pyjama bottoms. and he laughs at the look on your face and tells you to come in, he doesn't bite. not since he got that vampire cure, anyway. you're not sure what to make of that last part but he winks at you when he says it so you figure he's joking. maybe.

he gives great advice about hunting everything under the sun and if you stick around long enough he'll go on and on about how he saved the world at least five times. ok sure. you don't want to be rude so you just sit there and sip your coffee politely while he talks about some guy called chuck and how much of a bitch he is. and another guy who's aged a little more gracefully comes padding down the hallway in a metallica t-shirt and rolls his eyes. has he told you about tvland yet? ('i was just getting to that part!')

if you go to the basement you'll find shotguns filled with salt, wooden stakes, holy water, and demon-killing bullets for sale. and if you're lucky the witch who sells hex bags might be around. low-grade curses only, of course. you better leave the powerful stuff to the professionals. and she'll get in trouble if she gives you anything stronger, not that she can't be persuaded. a girl's gotta make a living after all and she's always encouraged eager new witches. it's worked out pretty well for her so far. and then a guy you swear is twice your height will raise an eyebrow at her and insist she only sell the weaker hex bags, please. you don't need any more witches in your coven, rowena. you've got plenty

pagan god giving you trouble? there's a man who swings by every once in a while who knows how to deal with those. give him some candy or a fun magic relic and he might help you out. it depends. he's a little picky about dishing out advice and he likes to play favorites. and if you've got a demon problem they can give you the number of a guy who swears up and down that he used to be the king of hell. but you've seen him walking around with a purse-sized terrier tucked under his arm and a dozen more following him so you're not really sure if you believe him

idk i like to think that dean got to grow old and retire. that doesn't mean he stops helping people, it just means he hangs up his coat and becomes an old man who rambles on and on about 'back in my day' and makes a dent in his leather armchair. there's a foosball table where the dungeon used to be and sam complains about beer bottles being everywhere and it becomes a safe haven for anyone still fighting the good fight. it's just that for dean and the rest of team free will the fight is over. they're done hunting now

[gayeddieagenda]

gnashing my teeth and pacing around. eddie was so ready to shape his entire life around finding something good in the thing he stumbled into when he was a teenager. he can say he didn't go back to shannon out of obligation, and i think that's true - he went back to it because he wanted it, but what did he want? a family? a simple life? to not fail at something, to not feel broken? he thought that would stop it, and he thinks shannon was the love of his life, but the very clear thing is that shannon didn't think he was the love of her life. if shannon was alive, they might be in each other's lives, but they likely wouldn't be together, and eddie still hasn't completely made his peace with that. he wanted the comfort and security of that relationship, and he wanted to not be alone, and he wanted to hang on to the first thing he felt that felt like love - but he said it himself, he's chasing something he didn't feel when he had it

he calls her the love of his life, but he didn't know it when she was alive. he and shannon didn't want the same things. and he's never going to have the thing he thinks he wanted, so maybe, maybe, he can finally start letting that go. letting HIMSELF go from the wanting and the imagining of this life he could've been living, if shannon was alive and somehow still wanted to be with him after everything. it was only ever a dream!! he never even had it once!!! let it go, eddie!! real life is better than the thing you made up in your head to keep yourself believing that you feeling broken could've been cured if shannon had lived a little longer, if you'd asked her to stay with you one more time, if she'd been pregnant for real that second time and you'd been stuck together again and you got what you thought you wanted. but none of that's going to fix him, because the harder he still believes there was a world where he and shannon grew old together, happy forever, the further he gets from anything that would actually make him happy, here and now, in the life he's actually living

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking on the phone while shopping?

So this happened months ago but it still weighs on me when I’m reminded of it and I want to know if I was an asshole, if I’m being dramatic, etc.

For context I have PTSD and AVPD (avoidant personality disorder - think social anxiety, but much more intense, lifelong, and you can’t ‘cure’ it or really medicate it).

For a very long time I didn’t leave my house at all. The last year or so I’ve been really working on it and I can do small things like go to a nearby shop, but sometimes I still have bad days where I can’t do that without having someone with me.

I moved into a new place and it was ideally located, there was a small corner shop literally seconds from my front door on the same little street. It was the only store in that area so it was my only option and I was lucky it was so near. However because the area was unfamiliar it really set off my mental illnesses and for the first couple of months living there I couldn’t make myself go out of my home, needing my sisters (who are wonderful) or my partner to bring me basic groceries or go with me.

One day I wanted to take that step but I couldn’t make myself do it completely alone (trust me I tried, I was sitting for several hours with my jacket on trying to psych myself up to go). Eventually I asked my partner, who was too busy to come with me, if they could be on the phone with me while I went - this sometimes helps because it gives me something to focus on that’s not the people around me and lets me feel like I have a lifeline of sorts. They agreed and eventually I worked up the courage to walk to the store.

I got in and had the phone to my ear but was keeping my voice as quiet as I could, though I was the only person in the shop aside from the woman (maybe 50s-60s) behind the till, so I didn’t feel as bad as I usually would about disturbing other shoppers etc. I picked up basic stuff, got to the till, put the phone on mute and put it down on the counter so I could have my hands free to bag things up.

The woman was acting a little weird, just kind of short and giving me looks, but I was just kind of trying to get out as fast as possible so I didn’t think too much of it. I asked her if I could have a bag and she didn’t seem to hear me. Asked again and she said okay. After she’d scanned everything she scrunched up my receipt and went to throw it away and she noticed I was still hesitating, so she asked if I’d wanted to keep it and I said “No sorry I’m just waiting for the bag”

And she just. Blew up.

She started screaming about how maybe if I’d been paying attention to her instead of my phone I would have asked earlier, how I was rude, how it ruined her day to have customers like me. For the first few seconds I remember kind of weakly smiling because I thought she was being jokingly mad, because that’s how absolutely out of nowhere it was - just 1-100 in a second. I still remember the look in her eyes when she was shouting at me, like… I can’t even describe how much genuine anger and hatred was in her face, her eyes were twitching and she was genuinely shaking with anger. Raised voices and anger in general are one of my biggest PTSD triggers so this just… broke me. She was holding my groceries to her chest while I kept trying to reach for them so I couldn’t leave and I just had to stand there and let her shout. Another customer came in so I didn’t even feel like I could argue back so I just grabbed my stuff and basically ran home and then broke down.

I was completely back to square one and I felt like it instilled that I couldn’t leave my home and be independent because the first time I’d gotten the courage to go out mostly-alone this had happened.

I didn’t want to put in a complaint because I didn’t want to be That Person, but my mother ended up calling the manager on my behalf and after she followed up he said he’d spoken to her but no more detail than that.

For the rest of the time I lived there I didn’t go back to the store even with people except on hours I knew she wasn’t there, because my sister ended up asking around the area and someone told her they knew who she was talking about because she had a reputation of being “like that” and gave her her working hours so I could avoid her.

I eventually moved away again and didn’t need to use the shop anymore, but this was brought back again because a few weeks ago I was passing through with my sister and we dropped by so my sister could grab something, and the woman was there again stocking shelves. As soon as she saw me she completely stopped what she was doing to just stare at me, then started aggressively throwing the things onto the shelves before going back to the till. My sister would probably have said something if she’d been rude in front of her, but she was completely fine to her and served her politely.

I didn’t really realise how badly it was still affecting me until then because I was just standing frozen in front of the door waiting to be able to leave and my hands were shaking really badly.

So AITA for being on my phone in a shop and being rude? The reasons I think I could be TA are that she treated my sister perfectly fine, when I told family about it afterwards some of them said that in her defense being on my phone while shopping was pretty rude, and I got my mother to complain to her boss about her (even though I don’t think she got in trouble I think she was probably mad about this)

What are these acronyms?