#she is frog. he is worm. MONCH

[cult-of-the-placeholder]

Baby Heket absolutely tried to eat even baby-er Leshy and you cannot change my mind

[beetlebitties]

SFW Beetlejuice HCs

Just a bunch of fun headcanons for my Beej! ENJOY!

-BJ has at least one small freaky lil animal in his pockets at all times (usually snakes, lizards, rats, and the occasional frog).

Doesn't really understand the internet, but would ABSOLUTELY have an Onlyfans account if he did.

Contrary to popular belief, HE CAN READ!!! He's just dyslexic.

Despite being about a millennia old, he still hasn't realized that 'BJ' also means blowjob.

He will wear any article of clothing, and he WILL work it!!!

Despite having the ability to summon extra limbs, he's AWFUL at multitasking

Loves to set things on fire, absolutely abuses the shit outta that power to show off.

He doesn't need to sleep or eat, but he does because its fun and it makes him feel closer to the living.

But because he's a demon, he can sleep for 1000 years and/or eat an entire Golden Corral buffet and he'd be fine lmao.

About 60% of the purple around his eyes is just makeup.

His nails tho??? ALL natural red little demon fingies.

Much like Musical Beej, his hair changes color depending on this mood: green for neutral/content, red for anger, purple for depressed/sad, and pink for flustered :3

He has STRONG Garfield energy.

His striped suit originally belonged to a dead car salesman, and he hasn't parted with it since he nabbed it.

Before then, he would still predominantly wear tacky black & white clothes because he surprisingly cares A LOT about keeping up his aesthetic!!

The little beetle clips on his suspenders are real and he modified them himself :3

Magenta (his inner shirt color) is his favorite and he tries to include it in his looks whenever he can!

His body functions by cartoon-logic: If you pinch him or squeeze him/etc., you WILL hear a honk noise.

He can *somehow* fit his way through any tight space, kinda like a cat.

When he isn't summoned, he can travel through mirrors and other reflective surfaces (just like in the cartoon!) to communicate with Lydia.

Speaking of Lydia, her and my Beej have more of a best friends/sibling vibe than a weird uncle and niece one.

That's mostly because Lydia gossips and vents to Beej about school stuff, gives him makeovers, helps him pull pranks on ppl, and gets into petty fights with him (A LOT).

They are the gay goth criminal dream team!!!

BJ has never rly thrown hands before, but don't try to actually fight him because you WILL end up with 20 snakes clinging to your ass.

He's been banned from every bar in the Netherworld, and every Olive Garden in the living world.

BJ is banned from the Olive Garden for angrily turning all of the pasta into worms when Lydia refused to get him an Unlimited Pasta Pass.

He's ALSO banned from various theme parks and children's establishments for attempting to possess animatronics and character costumes.

Let's be real, if he possessed a Chuck E Cheese he'd be UNSTOPPABLE...

Lydia has been diligently trying to encourage BJ to only prank/scare 'bad people', like bullies and condescending adults.

The worst ppl tho? Like Nazis and pedos? Beej has a special prank for them!!!! (its murder).

BJ can shapeshift into various animals and creatures, however he always retains his human head, so ppl usually tease him for it..

Despite this, he enjoys scaring the living as a snake the most >:3

BJ is of course a huge physical affection whore, especially for hugs and head scritches

He WILL start purring and he will make it painfully clear that he’s agitated if you stop...

 -Whenever there’s an ‘undesirable’ bug in the house, Lydia will summon BJ to get it.

She always takes a photograph of the bug for her insect-album before BJ monches it tho!

BJ has a bunch of nicknames for Lydia that he uses interchangeably, such as: ‘Lyds’, ‘Eyelyds’, ‘Lit-ia’, and ‘Deetz-Nuts’. Lydia hates them, but she can’t get herself to tell him they are awful..