#she doesn't really realize one of the reasons she's so angry is lack of agency

[novelmonger]

Okay, what's the 'clone idea'??

Just to clarify up front: This idea has nothing to do with Star Wars ^^' I actually got it from a super-cool dream a few years ago! In the dream, it was about me and my youngest sister (but not my other siblings for some reason?), but obviously I'll be altering them to make distinct characters that aren't just...clones *ba dum bum tsh!*

This unnamed idea for a novel is set in the not-too-distant future, when cloning of human beings has been perfected. It only works with fresh DNA, and it takes about five years for the whole process to be completed. Due to this and ethical concerns, there are laws and other safeguards in place so you're only allowed to clone someone who has just died (DNA can be collected prior to death, but the cloning process itself can't be signed off on until the person is declared dead). You're also only allowed to clone someone's particular DNA once. The clone will then take over the deceased person's legal identity, in terms of social security, taxes, etc. (there's probably more complicated caveats and whatnot, but this story isn't really supposed to explore all of that). Naturally, there's a whole debate about whether these clones are actually people or not. Do they have souls? Are they the same person as the one who died? Are they a freakish abomination and the scientists who developed the process are treading in God's domain? Should they be outlawed? Are they an unnecessary drain on the economy? It's very expensive to have a clone made, as you can probably imagine, but not outside the reach of someone who's reasonably wealthy. So like...you don't have to be a millionaire in order to pay for it, but you've gotta really want it.

The story is about a family that has two teenage daughters. I think I've decided the dad is a dentist, and the mom has a some kind of career as well, or maybe volunteer work or something. The sisters are three years apart in age. They aren't best friends exactly, but they get along pretty well and genuinely love each other. The older sister is about to go off to college when the younger sister dies suddenly and tragically in some kind of accident. The whole family is thrown into shock and grief, but the mother especially is not handling it well. She can't take the thought of her baby girl suddenly being taken away from her, so she insists that they clone her. The dad is reluctant at first, but the mom says that if she has to go on for the rest of her life without her daughter, she's going to kill herself to join her. So they pull out all of their life savings and order a clone of the younger sister.

In the five years it takes to develop the clone, the family processes their grief and the mom gradually begins to think she made a mistake. She realizes she was mostly just angry at God for taking her daughter from her, and making a clone was like shaking her fist at the heavens. The cloning agency allows those who have ordered a clone to cancel their order - payments are made in installments, so besides a cancellation fee, they don't have to pay the full amount; they just won't get a refund for what they've already paid if they back out partway through the process. But even after the mom realizes it was a mistake to try to clone her daughter, she doesn't want to cancel the order either.

She says, "I realize now that it was a mistake to want to clone her. I was angry at God, and didn't want to accept it when he took her away from us. But I believe that God can take my mistakes and my lack of trust, and make something good out of it. His plans are bigger than mine. And that clone in there? That's a little girl who deserves a chance to live. I may not have given birth to her…but she's my daughter. And she needs her mommy."

So they go through with it. The mom has to quit the job she loves and get one that will pay better, and the older sister has to give up on her college plans and go straight into the work force while still living at home, so they can continue to pay the cloning agency. And finally, the day comes when they can bring the little clone home. The standard/cheapest option is to grow a five-year-old clone (for some reason that's easier than a baby or an adult, just run with it), which is what they'd decided on - to get a second chance at childhood, as well as to make it as affordable as possible.

There's an option for training/programming (not sure exactly how it works yet), using video footage and other information provided by the family, to make it so that when the clone first leaves the facility and comes home, they'll have an approximation of the original person's personality and mannerisms, which can then be fine-tuned with the family and various psychologists/trainers over the next year or so. But this family opted not to do that - partly because that would be another expense, partly because the parents have agreed that, no matter what scientists or whoever else say, this little girl is her own person. She might look like their original daughter, she might have identical DNA to her, but it's not the same person. They want to raise this little girl as their own daughter, but they want as much as possible to let her decide for herself what kind of person she's going to become.

The result of all this is that, when she first comes home, this little girl is kind of robotic. She can talk and understand what people are saying on about the same level as any five-year-old, but a lot of the nuances are lost on her because she's only observed the world for like a week at that point. So she understands the concept of food and eating, but she might look at an apple and not understand that it's food.

I just think this would be a really fascinating concept to explore. There's a really compelling pro-life side to the whole thing, as well as the age-old debates of nature vs. nurture and what makes us human. Beyond that, it would be so fascinating to explore what the sisters' relationship would be like. I think there's definitely going to be some resentment and other growing pains on the older sister's part, because here's this girl who looks like her little sister but is definitely not, and they've all had to upend their lives in order to bring her into the world. But then there are moments where little bits of the sister she remembers will peek out - the way the clone smiles, the sound of her voice when she sings, the kinds of food she really likes. I want to put a lot of me, as a big sister, into this story.

WIP ask game

[belethlegwen]

The Faerie Spell - Chp 3

Chapter One: Click Here Chapter Two: Click Here Chapter Directory: Click Here

Words: 2831

Summary: Cal comes over for a smoke break to try and offer their friend some companionship, Daphne continues to struggle with being treated as small as she is.

Even the lightest taps on the window pane sounded like something trying to come through the side of the house. Normally by this many hours into a shift I’d have gotten used to everything being stupidly loud, but I didn’t exactly have a lot of conversation happening around me today and that was more my fault than anyone else’s. The sound startled me so badly that I shot straight upright and stared at the window, my eyes landing on the massive brown ones of Cal.

Their face lit up with that lopsided, cocky grin they always had when they saw me, their shaggy dark-blonde hair poking out at odd angles from beneath their beanie. I had been coasting in the zone of too-pissed-to-sleep-but-too-tired-to-be-awake for stars-only-know how long, so all I could do was blink as they held up a grocery bag presumably full of snacks in one hand and their weird wooden pipe in the other.

I stood, trying to fix my messy tangle of a bun and my PJs a little as I heard the familiar sound of Cal jostling the window in the way they knew would bypass the broken lock on it. I’m positive that if today hadn’t been such a shitshow already that I would’ve been happy to see them, but right now I was just tired and still cranky.

“Shmoke break~” they sang once it was open, the pipe clamped between their teeth, smoke already drifting up from the bowl.

“Not in the house!” I shouted, making my way down the stairs to the desk again. “If Sheri smells it I’m gonna have to listen to her bitching all--”

“Wha-?” Cal asked, trying to push themselves up and through the window, brow furrowed as they looked at me. They hauled the pipe out with a hand as they dangled partially in the house. “D’you forget your stones?”

“Yes!” I yelled, gesturing toward my pajamas, Cal taking a second to look me up and down. “DON’T. SMOKE. IN. HERE.”

“Oh, right, fuck,” Cal muttered, shoving themselves back out the window and putting the pipe on the ground before shoving themselves back through the window again. “You need PJ pants with pockets,” they said through grunts as they slipped onto the floor awkwardly with a couple of loud, desk-shaking thuds.

I waited until they were back up to eye-level at least, a hand slamming onto the desk near me and making me jump as they pulled themselves from the floor. Cal wasn’t the most… delicate or considerate about my condition, but honestly that was better than Gem acting like I was liable to shatter under the lightest surprise movement. “They do, I don’t like having to move the stones too much between outfit changes because I’m worried I’ll forget them,” I called to them.

“Worked well for you today,” they groaned, trying to take deep breaths but only able to do so much with their binder on. 

“Fuck off,” I snapped, flipping them the bird.

“No, you,” they quipped back, flipping me one in return next to that cocky grin. 

Ok, maybe I was alright with Cal being here today.

“Where do you keep ‘em?” They asked, pulling themselves up to stand and shifting the desk just a little, making me stumble beyond their notice while their eyes scanned the long studio-bedroom situation I had going on. “Ah.”

I didn’t have time to tell them not to bother before they walked off to my bedside table and poked at them, picking up the turquoise one and heading back to me with it. “I can’t exactly carry it with me!” I called up to them as they came back, frowning up as my neck craned.

“Just sit on it while we’re outside, I don’t wanna spend the whole time guessing what you’re saying out there,” they said, reaching for me.

“I don’t wanna go outsi--” I tried to shout but it was no use, Cal’s thumb and fingers pinched around my torso and lifted me, knocking the wind out of me enough that the words just died in my throat.

“Naw, c’mon,” they said, their voice like thunder as they swung up toward their chest and dropped me in the breast pocket of their coat. “Smoke break.”

The motions of being in the pocket were always rough, and I hated how routine it had all become. I was fine with it at the start because hands and being lifted and carried were terrifying; at least in the pocket I couldn’t see anything, so some of the vertigo was at least negated. Being in Cal’s pocket though was a whole other kind of nightmare as I felt them bend and turn and twist and slide themselves out of the window, my gravity changing in a dozen different ways. I swung and slammed and bounced off of their chest a number of times; this was a coat they wore even when they weren’t wearing the binder, so there was a notable amount of slack.

“Use your whole hand,” I tried to request bitterly as the pinching-fingers came back into the pocket to pluck me out, Cal having walked to one of the big wooden lounge-chairs on the deck and plopped into it. They gave me a curious look before tipping their hand and letting me go enough that I dropped into their palm, the breath getting knocked out of me again.

“This better?” They asked, their fingers and thumb coiling around me and pinning my arms to my sides. Their grip was at least loose enough that I could wiggle my arms free and throw them over the top, pinning the digits to me as I looked at them.

“Less rough next time, but yeah,” I managed to get out once my lungs were working right again. I didn’t wanna look at them yet, especially this close to their face. Faces were so terrifying from this size, and while I had gotten a little more used to it over the last six times this had happened, I just didn’t want to have the conversation about how having to look at it while I was literally dangling in their hand was a bit too much. Plus, Cal had a bad habit of staring when I was zonked like this.

“Sorry bro,” Cal said, and I felt myself shifting just slightly as they obviously gave me another full look over. My cheeks were red and my stomach was doing backflips, and whether it was because they noticed I was uncomfortable or they had just sated their curiosity again, they plopped me down on the armrest of the lounge and started to re-light the pipe. “So Sher’s bein’ a pill again today, huh?” They asked with the pipe between their teeth.

“I tried to talk to them about the--” I started, before Cal held up a finger and reached into one of their other pockets, plopping down my blue stone next to me and pointing at it. I sighed and took a seat, rubbing it with a hand and muttering the activation word. “I tried to talk to them about the vacuuming,” I said, my voice amplifying to a regular speaking volume for Cal as they nodded approvingly. “Didn’t go great.”

“Of course it wasn’t gonna go great,” Cal muttered before taking a long drag off of the pipe, holding the smoke in their lungs and wiping off the mouthpiece with the bottom of their shirt before holding it out to me. I took it in my hands and frowned, trying to hold the thing steady as Cal swayed. I didn’t even know if I was up for a hit right now, but arguing about it was just going to make me more tired. “The bitch hates cleaning. She always has. You were already doing almost all of it before this shit happened.”

I pressed the bottom of my face to the mouthpiece; Cal saved this pipe for me because it was the only thing either of us had that I could manage at my size. I sucked in a huge breath, the long stem still full of smoke after Cal’s pull, and let it out slowly through my nose as I let the pipe go back to them. “Yeah but I didn’t really care before--”

“Bullshit~” they sang again. Despite the patchy, stubbly beard they had finally started to grow, Cal could still hit those Soprano notes when they wanted. Not even falsetto-- just like they hadn’t gone through either of their puberties at all. “You did and I know you did. It just wasn’t worth the fight before now.” 

“Yeah well,” I admitted bitterly while they took another long pull, “maybe if I hadn’t waited so long it wouldn’t have been so much of a fight.”

“Naaaaw,” Cal breathed out on the exhale, smirking at their own smoke plume. The pipe swung back to me and I tried my best to not get hit by the stem as they turned it without looking. “It would’ve been. Y’knew that, s’why you didn’t bother before now. I’m just pissed on your account that the bitch got to pretend she won because your flitty friend decided to go hit the town early.”

“She didn’t pretend she won--” I started back after finally managing to take a pull, feeling a little bad about shit-talking Sher so much.

“You’re not in the other group chat,” Cal said bluntly, sinking into the chair and actually turning their eyes to me with a frown. “I imagine I’m about to be uninvited, too, but yeah she absolutely thought she won today and jumped in to vent that you had been giving her a shit time about vacuuming when she ‘has to take care of you all the time now’.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I shouted, my own voice rumbling so loud around me through the amplifying stone that it vibrated me a bit closer down the armrest toward Cal’s elbow. Some birds in the trees near the apartment took off, getting both of our attentions for different reasons, just emphasizing how pissed I was.

“I told her off. Gem was trying to do her centrist-horseshit but was also on your side, for whatever that’s worth, and Mak hasn’t been in the chats yet at all today but I assume he’s gonna be on your side as well despite him also being a lazy sack of shit when it comes to cleaning.”

“Mak lives alone,” I said pointedly, waving for the pipe again while Cal seemed to gaze off into the treetops in search of more birds. “He’s allowed to be a fuckin’ slob on his own time.”

“Yeah that’s his angle on it,” Cal agreed, swinging the pipe back around and smirking as they watched me take too big a hit and start coughing. They passed the pipe to their other hand and pressed the free one to my back, tapping me annoyingly with a finger. I didn’t wanna bother telling them it wasn’t a help; I knew what they were trying to do and the thought was nice enough, I guess, for the situation. “When me and he were roomin’ though he did put in the effort, he just bitched the entire time to the point that I gave him like, two or three jobs to do weekly and did the rest myself just to save on the fuckin’ headaches, y’know?”

“I always forget you two were roomies,” I said with a sigh as the coughing dissipated. Cal wobbled the lip of the pipe in front of me tauntingly, wordlessly asking if I wanted another hit and I shoved the thing away while they laughed.

“That’s by my request,” Cal said, taking a look at the bowl and reaching into their pocket for the cap to smother it and save whatever was left for later. “Told him to think of me as a whole new person now, and it’s to the point when he’s tellin’ stories about his roommates I never realize he’s talking about me half the time anymore.”

“...I don’t think I’m cut out for roommates,” I said after a minute, trying to duck away from Cal’s idle fingers as they poked at me.

“Shit time to figure that out,” they said, raising an eyebrow at me skeptically. “You’re not gonna be able--”

“I fucking know, Cal,” I snapped, their hands leaping into the air defensively with a massive sigh that washed over me. “I’m very fucking aware I’m not gonna be able to live without a permanent babysitter, thanks.”

“...If it makes you feel any better, I egged that witch’s house over the weekend.”

They had offered the information so casually I could’ve sworn it was a joke. I turned to face them a bit better, sliding the stone back up the armrest to get an easier angle as I kicked back a few steps with my feet. “It would make me feel better if it happened, yeah, but--”

Cal’s cocky grin came back and they reached into their pocket for their phone.

“No,” I breathed, brow furrowing. “Cal you didn’t actually throw eggs at a witch’s house, please tell me you didn’t.”

“‘Course I fuckin’ did,” Cal laughed, pulling up the photos and spinning the phone around to show me.

“You’re a fucking lunatic,” I laughed, shaking my head and realizing how dizzy the weed was already making me. “You’re going to get a curse put on you if she finds out.”

“Yeah that’s a pretty big if, though,” Cal said, shoving the phone back in their pocket and resting their head back against the chair, closing their eyes. “...’sides, figured you’d be ok with a curse buddy.”

“Wouldn’t mind it if y’all had a bit better idea how this feels, I won’t lie,” I said with a bitter shrug.

“I’ve got a pretty good idea,” Cal replied, adjusting themself and shaking the seat so much I had to brace my feet on the wood to stop from slipping.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that if they had any idea they wouldn’t grab me like they do, or they’d probably quiet down at least a bit when they were talking. I couldn’t dredge up the energy to tell them that if they had any clue what this was like they’d be trying to find a better witch or someone to help break curses set by fae, instead of just egging the house of the one that ran me out of her shop when I came in to ask for help.

I couldn’t bring myself to do any of that, so I just sat on my lumpy rock in the sunlight of the apartment’s open backyard and tried not to look into the windows of my neighbours in the row-house styled building. At the risk of being evicted, they hadn’t been informed there was a walking curse in the complex yet, though we had some excuses lined up if any of them ever got wind of it.

“I brought twinkies,” Cal said, almost apologetically, and I blinked before turning my eyes back to them. I didn’t realize they had been staring again, or that I had been staring off for stars-only-know how long. “You want?”

“Yeah,” I said, offering a tired smirk. “It cool if we eat it inside though? I don’t want the neighbours or the birds seeing me.”

“Can I kick it on your bed?” Cal asked, fingers already moving to grab me again. I made a face, ready to just suck up the pinching, when they seemed to remember the request from earlier and wrapped their whole hand around me. A bit too high-- my whole back end felt like it was dangling-- but it was just a short ride to the pocket so I didn’t bother to say anything.

“Yeah you might as well. I’ll just bitch if there are crumbs in it when I finally get to use it again.”

“I’d tell you to just use it now, but I imagine you’re still pretty triggered from the first time,” Cal offered as they pushed themselves out of the seat and grabbed their things, heading back to the window.

“It was twenty minutes at least,” I called, Cal dropping the stone into the pocket next to me. “I felt like I was going to suffocate. It was the worst nightmare I had ever had… up until I found my way out.”

Cal laughed, sliding through the window on their back awkwardly. “I’m not sayin’ it probably wasn’t terrifying or whatever,” they said, plucking me and the stone out of their pocket and plopping us both onto the bedside table next to the other enchanted rocks before they tossed themselves onto my mattress and blankets. “...But it’s a double. Could you imagine if you had a Queen?”

“I don’t wanna think about it,” I muttered, sitting down on the rock again. “Pass me a twinkie and let’s talk about something else.”

----------------------------------

Next Chapter

[mjstral]

I didn't know him, not really. I had only heard of him. It was impossible not to know about the youngest, ruthless Port Mafia Boss after all, especially if you works at the Armed Detective Agency. But it didn't matter. Even before we were people, Dazai Osamu and I were enemies. Even before we were a man and a woman, he and I were a mobster and a detective who had sworn allegiance to their respective institutions. Even at the cost of dying. But when I first met him all these convictions crumbled like lime; in their place doubts arose, uncomfortable emotions, sensations never experienced before. The taste of melancholy. Of something left in the middle.

***

Neither of us dared to move a muscle. He, however, unlike me, seemed a calm sea. I was so stiff that I couldn't hide my hand shake. I slowly reached for the hidden pistol in the sheath, but I was ready to react with my Ability the moment he made one misstep.

"You won't need that."

His voice was flat, tired I dare say, lacking in energy. As if he never knew what happiness was. But I guessed, who knows how, who knows why, that he was sincere. He apparently didn't want to hurt me, but that wasn't enough to make me let my guard down. A few seconds passed in which silence was prevented from taking complete control by the rushing of water inside some pipes located on the walls of that tunnel. He looked at me fixedly, I tried not to lower my eyes. His gaze made me nervous, it gave me shivers on my skin. It seemed to dig deep inside me looking for something I didn't know. Something that only I owned. I let him do it without resisting, as if I had forgotten that he was the enemy. Only at the end did I seem to come back to me.

"What do you want?" I spat out in frustration; for some reason my voice came out less angry than I wanted though. He lingered biting the inside cheek, then his shoulders dropped making me discover that he had been holding his breath the whole time.

"I wanted to see you."

And in that moment I saw it: the sadness in his gaze. People tend to represent it as something dark and distressing, but that one eye of his free from the impediment of the bandage began inexplicably to sparkle. My heart raced furiously. I couldn't do anything but gasp like a fish out of water and my hand slipped away from the gun. I realized that those words had hurt me. Both me and him. Me because I did not understand the meaning, and yet, at the same time, they had begun to echo in my head stronger than thunder; him because in pronouncing them he seemed to have unlocked a cog somewhere inside himself that he had tried to silence, but in vain.

***

In the universe of Beast Michiko adopts a new life at the Agency following some residence complications that force her to abandon the job she had earned with so much effort at the "Yokohama daily" newsroom; she now lives togheter with Oda and the orphans, alternating between being a caring older sister and a childish younger sister. Her relationship with the former mafioso has remained unchanged, with the only difference being that it's much more solid, having had the favor of time on their side. Oda loves her immensely, Michiko dotes for him and his attentions; whether it's to express affection or the simple desire to receive a caress, the girl will never leave it silent. Caring about writing as much as him she gladly reads his draft, praising how excited she is about the upcoming publication of his first book.

Her relationship with Dazai, however, doesn't boast the same immutability.

In all the universes that Dazai has gone through and in all the lives he has lived, he and Michiko have always found each other. In all but this one. The price to pay for Odasaku to live is high, higher than the boy could have expected, but he can't go back even if it means sacrificing his relationships with the ones that made his life a little easier, including Michiko who will never have the chance to hold his hand, because in this alternate universe she becomes a member of the Armed Detective Agency while Dazai is the boss of the Port Mafia. Their love would be forbidden, but in reality it doesn't even have time to blossom. Dazai, who thanks to his Ability still possesses all his memories, is unable, however, to stay away from her and for this reason he can't fail to meet her despite Michiko has never known him and automatically labels him as the enemy. During their first and only encounter her guard is high and her hand readily grazes the gun. In the mafioso's gaze, however, there is a glimmer of nostalgia that leads the girl to wonder if the person in front of her is really the much feared leader of a criminal organization as everyone says. Inexplicably, her heart begins to beat faster, as if she recognized that of other, but she is unable to voice that feeling, recognized by herself primarily as "wrong" due to the role she plays as a detective. However, Dazai shows no willingness to hurt her or engage in a fight, limiting himself to a few words that leave Michiko with her soul divided in two.

After learning of Dazai's suicide with a misterious girl, Michiko tries in vain to chase away the unjustified sadness that assails her, but she can't find peace. Often she goes to the cemetery without Oda knowing and remains for hours in front of the tombstone on which stands the name of the one who, in another life, had been her greatest love.

***

Thank you for reading this far! This was Michiko's version in Beast!AU, next one will be Tomie. If you're a veteran on my account you probably recognized this old art; since Michiko design has changed I decided to simply redo it lol yeah this was just a clarification

If you have questions I'll gladly answer them ♥︎

[Click for better quality]

[thekatebridgerton]

Eloise's behaviour is completely opposite from her speech. When she's dancing with that guy and he talks about the women from the ton she defendes them and then treat them like shit. I think that the two things that got me more angry than anything was

1- her saying she was happy because "there would be another intelligent woman in the house", like girl... Your mother is right there and you're basically calling her stupid, don't disrespect like this, she's never done anything to deserve this.

2- her saying that Theo was one of the only good things in her life! This isn't an anti about the ship, but more like she's privileged, rich and has a family that loves her despite everything and would never make her marry against her will. Ok, she might be unhappy with her role in society but she really needs to put things in perspective

I have come to see it as the show trying to showcase how a privileged young woman can grow up to be very inmature because she's left unchecked so much and given the freedom to do what she wants without her well meaning family warning her of the consequences

In a way show Eloise mentality is a little like Emma Woodhouse, not in the way Emma manipulates situations to go her way. But in the way Emma thinks she's the one who knows best and is equiped to look down on other women because nobody has ever taught her that she shouldn't.

(Knightley does try to instil this in Emma and of course she falls inlove with him. The one man who lovingly tells her she needs to change the selfish way she relates to other people)

Eloise thinks she knows best, that it's society who has the problem and that other ladies conforming to these rules is what perpetutes their oppression and lack of agency. When someone offers a different opinion or a perspective that could be seen as compromise, Eloise sarcastically lashes out and refuses to hear more, further confirming that she's not interested in any opinion but her own

Eloise is not rebelling because she's a feminist she's rebelling because if she voices her opposition to all things femenine and lashes out at the females around her. She can keep the imaginary control she has on her own life and doesn't have to be forced into giving up that control

Basically she's rebelling to prove she can. That she's in control. She is right, everyone else is wrong and this is how she proves it.

And like any privileged young woman she doesn't realize how that attitude hurts the women around her. Such as her mother, her sisters and even her best friend .

Eloise didn't defend other girls because she likes having the company and sisterhood of other females. She did it because she wanted to have a reason to pick a fight and stop the dance she was "being forced to endure" with that man

She disdains females as much as her brothers do. If like to venture that it's something she learned from Anthony. So there's a lot of internalized misogyny to unpack there.

And that's the tea

[kemonododo]

Decided to rewatch the whole series after seeing the finale, here's my thoughts as they come along part 1

Razz tells Adora not to look for others to tell her what to do and asks her what she thinks. Adora decides she must fight the Horde. It's poetic that Adora gets so hung up on destiny and fulfilling her goal, when the final message she needed to learn was said in the third episode. Razz is the wisest of us all.

Angella repeats what she heard in the legends of She-Ra, notably that she is meant to "bring balance to Etheria". From Angella's perspective this seems like a good thing, but it's so much more sinister knowing that basically means "to turn the death star on".

Catra was pissed at Adora, but seemed willing to leave the Horde until Hordak elects her as Force Captain. This is the start of her conclusion that Adora was only holding her back, and so the decent of her madness. That little smirk kills me, because that face will shed a lot of tears from this point on.

Season 5 showed us what Adora's She-Ra looks like, without the First One's influence. It might be a bit blasphemous, but I think that reveal would have worked better if this early season She-Ra was the mini-skirt, cleavage design of the 80s. Have a bit of symbolism about societal beauty standards. Love the muscles though that part is perfect.

The first time Catra and Adora meet back up after their falling out is a little unremarkable, the wounds are still fresh and they're still angry at each other but I think both still don't understand how big this schism between them will be.

I just realized Entrapta's castle has a picture of a Tyrannosaurus rex with a unicorn horn and Pegasus wings. Is that what Mara's dragon was!? 😂

God I love Entrapta, even when I first watched this I was excited to see the purple Hatsune Miku in the intro. She always cared about people since the beginning, she just doesn't understand politics.

Castaspella and Angella were shipping Glimbow from the start lol.

The show gives us a full view of how Shadow Weaver's abuse affected Adora. Being constantly pressured to be the best and strongest at the threat of Catra's health has left Adora a jittering wreck. Call me sadistic, but I love that it wasn't resolved in this episode. Adora wins the battle against SW today, but all the way up to the series finale we see SW's dirty fingers clawing away at her conscious. It takes more than 20 minutes to escape a life of manipulation.

Princess Prom! This is when the show goes from a 7 to a 10. Not only the prom being a fun venue, but this is where Catra begins to get some agency. This is the first time she really feels like a main character, which is great because I love her more than anything. Also the first time we see Double Trouble and the Star sisters, which I guess are different from the Star Siblings in season 5? A bit of a continuity error.

Aww, Glimmer is jealous. I can relate to her fears of being pushed out, but the fact that she's pretty madly in love with him adds a whole new layer. Bow is right but he's being a bit insensitive here.

Let's just take a moment to appreciate how far we've come. Remember when this was the gayest thing in the show?

It's fun watching the princess alliance so early in their friendships, they obviously care enough to go with Adora on this mission to save Glimmer, but I love how annoyed and distracted they get with each other.

This episode is also really big for Catra, realizing she will never get Shadow Weaver's approval, that longing look at Adora, "this is not because I like you".

The Beacon is sandwiched between two great episodes that make it feel like filler, but a lot actually happens. We see more of Adora's insecurities, especially how she starts to take it out on herself when she runs into a problem out of her control. We got the formation of the super pal trio, a short lived group with an amazing dynamic. And we also have a huge moment with Angella that basically defines her entire character.

Entrapta's insecurities are revealed. She wants friends, she loves people, but they're complicated and hard and always seem to leave her. It's heartbreaking and something that comes to a head on Beast Island.

I love this scene with Catra and Shadow Weaver. It's clear she still loves her evil mom, and we see how SW has abandoned the idea of Adora for now and is now beginning to manipulate Catra. We also see another Catradora parallel, both of them tell straight to SW face that she has no power over them anymore, something we continue to see is not true.

Promise! 18 months later and it's still my favorite episode of the show. I like how it starts off with the anger they've been feeling up until now, but through the mind melting manipulation by skynet Light Hope, it's multiplied a thousand fold. Before this Catra was pissed at her friend, now Catra wants to murder the person she thinks destroyed her life. After this Catra isn't a cute tsundere, she's completely homicidal. She still loves Adora obviously, but Light Hope has corrupted that love into the most vitriol hate on the planet. It's wild to think they both love each other so much, and yet the abuse that have scarred them prevents that love from breaking free. This is the true moment where the show starts, this is where it became the best cartoon I have ever seen.

Also this is the only time since the first episode and Catra's redemption in season 5 where their chemistry is in full play. They just love each other so much, god I'm fucking tearing up again.

An important thing people forget about the Catradora dynamic is Catra's inferiority complex. She has been told since the day she was born that she is worthless, below Adora in every way. She loves and looks up to Adora, but her existing in Adora's shadow blackens that love. Which is why her joining the rebellion isn't a good ending for her. She needed time on her own, away from Adora, to carve out her own identity. It was her struggles as Force Captain that finally pushed her to start doing good, that realization that she is unhappy in that role. If she had left with Adora in episode 1, she would still be bitter and cruel and toxic, because she'd still be standing behind Adora.

Shadow Weaver's abuse goes both ways, as now Adora feels like she needs to protect Catra like a helpless kitten. That dynamic was not healthy, and it would not have lasted. Catradora can only exist now because they both accept each other as equals.

That final "you promise?", probably the most important words in the show. I've seen this episode a dozen times, but after seeing the finale the tears are running down my face again. Adora was the light of Catra's light, nothing mattered as long as Adora was there with her. She loved her so much. The Fright Zone, Shadow Weaver, her own insecurities, they all impacted Catra. But in that moment, them cuddling on their bunk, it didn't matter. Little did she know Adora loved her back just as much. Fuck I'm crying again.

Catra took that memory, tainted by Light Hope, and saw Adora as a monster. Someone who manipulated her like everyone else and abandoned her at the first opportunity. Someone who broke her most important promise, someone who broke her heart. Catra is probably the best written character in fiction, no I am not exaggerating.

It's a hard follow up after that episode, but the amazing juxtaposition of Entrapta and Light Hope telling the same story with different information is bone chilling and goosebumps giving.

Knowing the whole story of Mara, Light Hope's speeches are terrifying. Her manipulation makes Shadow Weaver look soft. Luckily we have an Alicorn to help, like all other abuse in the show it isn't over in a single dialog exchange, but Swift Wind is speaking the truths Adora needs to hear. The thing about Adora though is one of her main character flaws, she gives in to the doubt her abusers seed her. Her friends constantly tell her she has worth and deserves love, but she has it in her head that she must sacrifice herself for the greater good. That's another reason why Catradora works in the end, Catra helps bring out the selfishness she needs.

Battle of Brightmoon isn't a great finale, my time in the MLP fandom has soured me on "then all the friends came together and shot the villain with a rainbow" conclusion. Luckily, the show would knock the next three out of the park.

Catra starting the new season strong, I love the juxtaposition of the horde soldiers fearing her while the super pal trio doesn't. I love that little smirk, she thinks it's the first she wants yet we all know it's the later.

Frosta got a character change, I understand what they're doing where the other princesses are bringing her out of her shell, but it all happened off-screen so she just seems out of character. The little moment with her and Glimmer is great, and a little bit of forshadowing for Glimmer's queenly role.

Every Shadow Weaver and Catra interaction is fantastic, I love how SW gets so easily under her skin and how Catra pretends to brush it off. Those black tenticles still have a hold on the Kitty's heart.

Ties that Bind is a fantastic episode, especially seeing Catra's interactions with Bow and Glimmer. I love how this contrasts with the season 5 episode A shot in the Dark, here Catra is bullying the best friend squad with malice while the later has Glimmer and Bow playfully making fun of her with love.

Glimmer's actions here are also great forshadowing for her role as queen, especially how desperate she is to destroy the horde and how it affects her morals. Makes her decision to use the heart in season 4 very believable.

I love how Adora keeps referencing ghost stories she heard as a kid. I love the idea of her and Catra under the covers telling scary stories to each other until they'd both end up cuddling while insisting they aren't scared.

Entrapdak! Entrapta's love of science, complete lack of fear, and unending kindness can turn even a dictator cute. They have fantastic chemistry.

I love this little moment with Catra, Shadow Weaver correctly assumes that she's being pushed out and left behind by Hordak, and sure enough she finds Entrapta standing next to him in the lab she was almost killed just for stepping in. Her fears are repeating.

Ah! Goosebumps! The show is slowly moving to be more and more Sci-Fi, and that little shot of Mara's crashed ship with the fantastic music is just a hint to what's to come.

Roll With It is an absolutely adorable low stakes slice of life episode that shows how fun these characters are even when they aren't fighting a war. It's probably the funniest episode in the series, the 80s She-Ra segment is my favorite. There's also the wonderful moment of Adora's breakdown, the pressures of being the world's savior takes a toll on her.

White Out! One of my favorite episodes. The mostly self contained story, the new setting and outfits, great Super Pal Trio bonding, Scorpia being a lesbian, Sea Hawk, and the only time we see the corrupted She-Ra. It's a fantastic microcosm of the show itself, and it's really funny. The Scorpatra stuff is a bit sad knowing how it ends, but it is nice seeing how Scorpia can have a crush while still realizing the toxicity of her relationship later on.

Shadow Weaver's backstory and the biggest window into her head. She believes what she is doing is right, but her methods are full on psychotic, and she was power hungry from the start. I love her so much, she's so deliciously evil. The Eldritch horror that is the spell of obtainment is a treat, and SW's arrival at the Fright Zone is beautifully terrifying. This episode also has the best scenes with her and Catra, it's devastating to watch Catra continue to pine for SW's approval and how, after all this time, SW still only sees her as a tool.

Shadow Weaver is one of my favorite characters, literally every scene with her a amazing. "I can tell by how your voice turns shrill when you scream" what a bitch I love her. I also really like how you can tell Catra and Adora still love her, even after all this abuse. She's a monster, but she's also a mom, and both of those identities conflict in their heads.

Shadow Weaver's and Light Hope's reveal of Adora's origin is goosebumps giving. The revelation that there is a universe beyond Despondos is amazing, but I especially love Light Hope continuing to withhold information and effectively lie to Adora. Razz, Swift Wind, Angella, Catra, they all tell her to make her own decisions but this moment with Light Hope where she is told she doesn't have a choice is what Adora latches on to.

There's also the deal with Hordak, when Light Hope tells the story, she paints it as Hordak ripping the poor baby away from her family. We later learn that's wrong, Hordak saves Adora, he finds a tiny baby and even as a heartless destroyer he knows he can't leave her out there to die. He steals her away, but he does so from Light Hope, the original kidnapper. If Adora was raised by Light Hope, she probably would have fired the heart without question. The Horde was not a good environment to grow up in, but it was an important part in making her the hero the universe needed.

I love Hordak's monologue, the art style and music are fantastic and the whole thing is terrifying. To imagine the big bad horde of the show is just a tiny sliver of what is out there. It also shows Hordak's motivations, which don't excuse his actions but do explain them. This show does a fantastic job at letting us sympathize with the evil-doers, and that has only grown now that Wrong Hordak has shown what it's like to be disconnected from the hive-mind. Bonus points for explaining Imp's origin and showing how Entrapta is exactly the person that he needs right now.

Catra is being embarrassingly edgy here, but it is funny that she's talking about "lost it all" and she seems to think this is rock bottom, oh girl you are in for a ride awakening with how much farther you can fall.

Promise plays again as Adora has another break down. We finally see Mara, and as with everything to do with the First Ones it is chilling. I love this slowly unraveling storyline of Light Hope's true intentions. At this point it is clear she is not to be fully trusted, but we have yet to see how truly sinister her intentions are.

Catra, again, being one of the best characters ever written. She finds a minimum amount of happiness in the wastes, and immediately it all comes crashing down when her trauma resurfaces. That scene of the anger taking over is a masterpiece. I have said a million times that she'd never be truly happy in the wastes, and the later seasons confirm it, but it is heartbreaking to see how even the slightest hint of a smile is ripped off her face.

The Glimmer Angella arguments hurt, they're both right but it's sad to see them fight and how Angella takes Glimmer's advice while Glimmer doubles down on her faults.

Shadow Weaver back on her bullshit, manipulating teenagers to give her power. Noelle mentioned how she truly believes she's on the good side, and obviously she doesn't want the Horde to win, but you can't deny she has some selfish motivations behind recruiting Glimmer. That lust for power remains with her until the very end.

We see Adora getting to Entrapta here, people I think really didn't get their impressions of her right. Entrapta loves tech and science, and sometimes it blinds her, but she isn't immoral, she does care about the safety of her friends.

"You made me this way, and you get to be the good guy" "you couldn't wait to get away from here, from me. But you came back for Adora". You can see how SW's betrayal not only reaffirmed Catra's fears, but was probably just as much a force behind her decent into madness as Adora was.

There's also something beautiful about the symbolism of Shadow Weaver using her new victim like a battery to crush her old.

And Catra betrays Entrapta and Scorpia, this is officially the worst she gets, at this point her hatred of Adora is taking over her. We see more of it in season 4, but her desire to hurt Adora as much as Adora has hurt her causes her to crack like an egg. Scorpia's face says it all.

I love getting to see Catra and Adora in their element, completely in love with each other. None of the complexity of the world at large, just them two together. Even Shadow Weaver's approval of Catra, this is her dream world.

It's funny how Scorpia's first instinct upon seeing Catra is to hug her while her first reaction to Adora is to insult her. She has terrible judgement of character lol

Everyone's insistence that it's "perfect", watching the world shift and fall apart, the confusion, the panic, the show masterfully shows Adora's emotions in this mind-melding episode.

"Soon the two of us will be ruling Etheria together just like we always planned" "Is that what you really want, to rule the world?" "I mean, yeah, obviously. Isn't that what you want too?" God this little moment is perfect, it shows how much they're wavelengths differ. Catra focuses on the "together" while Adora focuses on the "rule the world". Like DT says later, Catra's heart was never truly in it. This thirst for power is just the world's most destructive coping mechanism.