#she doesn't even look her age!
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concepts to consider: louise's fluffy bed head. the way her spiky pixie cut would be more WILD, not regal, but actually unkempt. hair strands sticking out of place and shooting out in all directions like a destroyed bird's nest. sticking to her cheek, her eyes, her forehead as soon as she wakes up before the sun hits her face and runs her fingers through it to untangle it
#˗ˏˋ ༄ ──── 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 〳 ❪ violence creates and molds as well ❫#someone who paints the perfect image 100% of the time and is suddenly presented as a normal everyday person is what i strive for#also#no makeup louise?#she's a natural beauty#ages gracefully#like fine wine#probably insecure about her wrinkles#on her forehead and eyebrows and the corners of her mouth#eyebags too#i mean#she's definitely in her 40s#she doesn't even look her age!#uses makeup to hide it ofc
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In my heart Isabela doesn't like Lucanis because Zevran freed her and is also one of her best friends.
#zevran arainai#isabela dragon age#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age zevran#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#she's like 'ugh not just any antivan crow but a scion of a powerful house of crows'#she's very loyal in her own way#even though it doesn't look like any loyalty most people would recognise
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Hesina Willshaper AU
Step one canon divergence: Amaram's army doesn't do the kind thing. Kaladin's listed next of kin are sent a letter stiffly informing them that their son is a deserter and, thanks to the highmarshall's mercy, has been sold into slavery.
Step two canon divergence: a light spren has started following Hesina around.
The letter reaches hearthstone.
Hesina cries the bones of the first ideal through labor pangs. Their wretched diamond lamp grows slightly dimmer during childbirth.
Hesina and Lirin discuss if there's anyway they could possibly find their son and pay his slave debt. They're not optimistic.
Hesina talks with her lightspren.
Lirin and Hesina talk again about trying to find their son, now that Oroden is starting to be weaned.
Hesina appears to have grown taller. No one but the two of them seem to be aware but they're worried other future changes might be more noticeable.
Hesina and Lirin realize that she can mold rock as if it was clay with stormlight. A spark of hope for freeing their son emerges.
The two leave town.
They find a slave market in the nearest city. They see other parent's sons, but not their own.
Hesina swears to free those in bondage. Stormlight starts coming easier.
They make a tunnel. Rebellion follows. Lirin is horrified by the violence (the violence is not actually that bad all things considered. a couple guards dead. some bystanders frightened. Fair amount of property damage as they rob the military barracks food supply, steal every sphere that's not nailed down. and also steal the spheres that are nailed down. (Lirin won't admit it but the stealing from lamps part is kindof fun.)).
Many of those they freed flee. Some return to slavery willingly, scared of retribution. Many decide to follow the Radiant woman who has vowed to see others like them freed.
The group proceed to the next town. They find another slave market. They make a tunnel. There is more resistance than last time, clearly they were warned something might happened. Hesina kills a man.
Lirin is terrified by what his wife is becoming.
Hesina swears to shelter those without homes. The lightspren forms an unbreakable hammer, perfect for knocking crem free from buildings. And for knocking down men.
A now larger motley group seeks shelter in a mountain town razed in one of Alethkar's many skirmishes over the last decades. Hesina builds homes. Lirin begs her to stay here, to stop fighting before she goes to far down this path, not to go to war. The slaves they've freed are split, many wanting to stay, hide, some wanting to fight and free more, with a radiant at their head, there's a real chance to change things. Hesina lingers, practicing, spends some time falling in and out of shadesmar.
Lirin and Hesina separate.
Lirin stays with Oroden and the noncombatants. Hesina leads those who want to fight to another city, still trying to find their son, still trying to free everyone's children.
The town settles into a routine. Hesina and Lirin miss one another. This is the first time they've gone longer than two days without seeing each other in the last 25 years, and the two days was only when Lirin had to travel to where someone had overturned a cart on the road nearby and Hesina had to stay and watch the children, too young to travel. besides that, it had been every day. they keep turning to talk to each other.
While the army is gone, the free town is attacked by those trying to reclaim her property.
Hesina swims deliberately through shadesmar for the first time. reaches lirin just in time.
Lirin accepts that not fighting won't stop the violence. (It breaks him just a little bit)
Hesina shouts that one person's freedom ends where another's begins. She vows to fight against powers which would rather see their people in cages then homes. A thousand light spren rise up to grant her strength.
(yes I know she's moving fast through the oaths. but she's always been a thoughtful woman and she raised two children who asked difficult questions and now shes mother to another several hundred. honestly she had already worked through some of these concepts before they became actionable on such a grand scale.)
Lirin vows to support his wife through whatever trials the Almighty seems inclined to put her through.
The lightspren, who has started to get some memories back, remembers Oathgate Spren not terribly far from here by physical realm measurements, guarding a hidden human city
the stone remembers the way the radiants once traveled.
The path to a kingdom in the sky is slow — there are many cages to break on the way.
Kaladin doesn't know it right away, because people weren't exactly telling slaves about the freedom riots, but slave wagons start having harder and harder times reaching the shattered planes after him.
Someone mocks Lirin for having a wife so determined to pursue the masculine art of war. Lirin gets pissy and decides to show them by learning to read and write to help support the administrative side of his wife's kingdom wide asskicking.
The highprinces lead a fairly successful misinformation campaign about the slave riots, lots of accusations of rampant violence, the dregs of society lashing out, you can probably imagine
The ongoing rebellion is large enough that word trickles to the bridge crews, encouraging bridge four's hope for escaping, while also making it substantially more daunting, as the crews are even better guarded than canon.
Rumors of a female radiant swirl around. Most people assume it's a woman in shardplate with some sort of tunneling fabrial, which is still pretty crazy, but several major players Take Note
A very large and tired huddled mass of people reach Urithiru. there's just enough squires, and two new willshapers with their own oaths, to make tunnels through the shattered planes and reach the oathgate without being seen by the alethi armies
the parshendi army is another story, but some are willing to take a chance listening to the neshua kadal, and come with them.
The political implications of Dalinar freeing 1000 slaves is slightly more complex, especially considering the rebellions have been impacting Sadeas the hardest
About a week after being freed, Kaladin hires a spanreed intermediary to write home and find out if his hometown is alright (again, a lot of misinformation and rumors about the violence of the riots)
Is informed by Laral that his family left town looking for him shortly before the riots started, were presumed dead
Kaladin is under the impression that 1) his parents are dead because of him 2) the Rebellion is not the righteous fallback plan that he and the men were hoping it was.
Hesina has many reasons to go to the shattered planes. Nearest part of the trade network for food and necessary goods. Many slaves to be freed from there, and a part of her still hopes to find her son, even thought its been so long. Home of Alethkar's political leaders, the source of Alethkar's slavery.
I have spent. A LOT of time imagining many possible reunions between kaladin and his mom in my highly specific high oath hesenia au. She has a couple faces she could wear when visiting the planes. Brightlady. Radiant. Cagebreaker. Queen of Urithiru (not her real title, they're tentatively trying the Listener council model, but they know what the Alethi will understand). Even darkeyed mother, if she and Lirin approach slowly from a different direction. Honestly, pleased as I am with all of the above, a lot is flexible, the key here is kaladin going "MOM??" In some fashion One possible Reunion Here
Thank you @sorchasolas for conversation and the urithiru ideas and for leading me to actually write all this down <3
#stormlight archive#my au#stormlight au no 2#hesina cagebreaker#the stormlight archive#stormlight au#Hesina willshaper au#ok for the growing taller thing: hear me out!#like she's a tall woman#she can reach the crem on most rooftops with her crempick#like 95 percent of the rooftops#and that 5 percent of rooftops that she can't quite reach she always forgets to bring a stepstool#so she's a tall woman. but her Identity is that of an even taller woman.#do you see my vision#Lirin leaves to bring her the little stepstool because she always forgets when she's hired to clear the baker's building.#but she doesn't need it#he had noticed...but he had honestly just assumed he had gotten shorter. musculoskeletal atrophy happens to men of a certain age.#he's on the younger side but the heralds know it's been a difficult few years. he didn't bring it up but neither did his wife#now he's looking at his wife and is:#Lirin: I am certain you needed a ladder to reach this roof before#Hesina: I did? Are you sure?#Lirin: yes I'm sure you always—Hesina!#Hesina: what?#Lirin: i am. CONFIDENT. that for the last 20 years my eyes have been level with your chin.#Lirin: not your...#Hesina: not my...?#Lirin:#Hesina:#and then they go bone#ok i'm done thank you for listening <3
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b’elanna vs her mother at similar ages, plus some sketches!
#my art#star trek voyager#my very first deanna…. my original obsession. if i ever read as much about betazoids as i do klingons we’re all in grave danger#also wrt the first image b'elanna is. 12 years old and as such is about to go emo mode but not quite yet. the girly girl thing is a front#sometime in winter she'll chop her hair off without permission#what do we think? human girl look to fit into the image her father has while he's still around or after to try and get him back?#miral is also a little bookish like b'elanna but on different subjects.... likes to keep to herself naturally but is also loudmouthed and#got told she shared her opinion too often a lot in university. didn't stop her though she speaks up when she thinks (knows) she's right#what did she study? don't ask me my answer changes with the weather#botany....linguistics.....military strategy.....chemistry....... uhmmmm religious studies. or even better the klingon system doesn't have#starfleet equivalents and she spent ages 15-22 doing apprenticeships for a certain (or multiple) disciplines#anyway.#kessik 2352 b'elanna has trouble sitting still for photos until she gets a little older so all the pics from before 7 are of her father#physically holding her so that she won't wander OR off guard shots or super blurry. theres more videos of that time than anything
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redraw of an umineko piece from 2019 (original under the cut)
this one was drawn/lined traditionally, then coloured digitally. the redraw is all digital.
#umineko#umineko no naku koro ni#when they cry#wtc#beatrice castiglioni#beatrice the golden witch#beatrice umineko#eva ushiromiya#ushiromiya eva#ushiromiya natsuhi#natsuhi ushiromiya#asumu ushiromiya#ushiromiya asumu#kyrie ushiromiya#ushiromiya kyrie#rosa ushiromiya#ushiromiya rosa#jichanart#jichan? drawing women? crazy!#been meaning to come back to this one for AGES but i kept dragging my heels and losing motivation#but i did it! and look how far i've come from the original!#i am still fond of the stylisation of the original but i like my current style much more#and an ensemble piece means i can show more diversity in facial features and expressions#certainly some spots that could be improved because my motivation waned but. overall very happy!#almost all the moms in umineko! sorry kumasawa and kinzo's wife#in my defence i don't think kinzo's wife has a canon design. she doesn't even get named 😭#no kumasawa because. she's not that interesting SORRY#and she wasn't in the original anyway so i'm not switching around the original composition to squeeze her in
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had to track down that fun chapter where Yoo Iseol decided to show that she's actually a feral girly and gave Cheong Myong the scare of his (current) life and then i got sidetracked with taking screenshots.
#the return of the mount hua blade#yoo iseol#*wipes away tear* she's grown up so much since then#but she's still feral and i still adore her#and speaking of cheong myong or whatever spelling you use#deeply amused by the fact that no matter how you ship him there WILL be an age gap#physical or mental it doesn't matter#and most of all he will still consider himself a grandpa in this current lifetime even though everyone are older than him#like i know he is very much Not For Romance but it's still SO funny to think about#if someone managed to seduce him he would be like AM I A CRADLE ROBBER????#even though for all appearances he's like a minimum of 2 years younger than them#in HIS mind he's a grandpa ok even if he was a grandpa that looked like 30 years old at most
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Actually I can't stop thinking about Tim gaining a bit of weight during her time as Persephone and it's killing me now
#she's been an immortal for so long she has no idea how she looked before the lunar war#she was 3-4 years younger and matured during that time despite the starvation#and she probably got a buzzcut when she was drafted but nobody kept up with hair regulations bc they couldn't see each other enough#for them to be enforced#After she first got mechanized the eyes were just one of the many parts of ger body she didn't recognize#and it competed in importance with the weight loss and aging and new scars and more#But when she sees herself at a healthy weight as Persephone bc she hasn't had a complete death in so long that she's managed to hold weight#she just cries because she thinks this is how she must have once looked#though her memory fails to give her any confirmation. she can only guess#she sees in the mirror a person who didn't feast on the corpses she could find#and she can pretend she actually Is Persephone- not Tim#that she's lived a happy olympian life and has never died and that she doesn't occasionally unwillingly salivate over brains in the acheron#and the worst part is she Knows this is temporary#her fantasy and joy is limited#limited until the day she doesn't throw a grenade far enough again or the day she annoys Ashes enough to set her on fire#she can't stay this way for the eternity she is so damned to#and once she does experience a full body reset it's an uphill climb to regain that weight again- if she manages to not die in that time#it's the inevitability of it all that really gets me#and also Ashes obviously thinks Tim looking healthier- well taken care of- is hot as fuck. tho they think Tim always looks hot as fuck#but they don't understand why she freezes when they run a hand along her chest now- unable to even feel her ribs unless they press down#or why she starts making flimsy excuses to leave whenever they offer to take her out on their arson runs
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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Character inspo things, i thought about making these a lil while ago when the trend was going around but i could never think of enough characters to fill it all the way (i still can't, but eh fuck it)
#I don't usually drag inspo from a lot of specific places when it comes to character creation so it's hard for me to think of such#i would make these for the other ocs too if i even had much like. there's quite literally nothing i can connection Jiro and Hitaru to#Akemi's personality is inspired by Karin from street fighter alpha and that's pretty much it#nothing much for Bashira and Ippei other than making them feel like Ayame results from the two#Emina doesn't have anything other than that either. But Ayato takes slight inspiration from Butterscotch Horseman#Hamato is just meant to resemble Ando. and strangely enough the one character inspo for Yukari is Honeyspring from Lutumclan#(don't ask how that connects honestly. idk either) + La chorona song from Coco#none of these are enough to fill even half of this template so I'm not making one for the other Another series ocs#onto the ones that are actually here tho! let me elaborate on them#starting with Beni there's Kanata who's a big inspo when it comes to character design beats. as explained in the breakdown post i made#Retsuko and the unused idea for her expression and general anger prone aspect if Beni's personality#Mirei and Nayuta are more tied to her age specifically. the former for her adult self and latter the child one#they give “what is wrong with her” kinda vibes to me#Kizuna and Ayame on Akira's is self explanatory. she's a fankid of course inspo will be drawn from the parents#but other than desigh beats I'd say her personality leans more heavily on Kizuna inspo and Ayame a little less#Callie was not an inspo for her originally but ever since i notices that they look similar i feel like Akira has gotten dumber/sillier#it affects how i imagine the way she talks too. Callie but moreso Mr.Peanutbutter on that speech pattern department#and Juri is there for clothing style as in big baggy pants and crop top looking shirts. color scheme a bit too#hyena ramblings#dra#oc#fankid#Benitsuru Ando#Akira Tomori Hatano
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I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)
aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao
(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)
#myrna is actually really proud of him for pushing through and becoming a very fine member of the mourn watch#(and a good man)#but she is also. well. myrna. so she has never expressed as much to him. (she thought it went without saying. it did not!)#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#neve gallus#considering how satisfying the Arc with davrin has been I hope this can liven up neve and rye's interactions for me!#also very interesting and fitting b/c davrin will come for you where you live and go 'and hey btw ANOTHER THING --' no bullshit#which rye finds SO annoying but is probably why their relationship has grown so deep so quickly b/c davrin won't let him avoid him#while neve is ironically a lot more like him and it means they have a much harder time reaching each other b/c they're both so watchful#and guarded. they vibed so hard in the beginning it was all neve approves all the times b/c they have similar instincts. and now look at us#we live in the same house and politely pretend the other one doesn't exist. we're making ghosts out of each other!!!#explaining why he's semi-avoiding her. he thinks he's being thoughtful in giving her her space but uh. well.#perhaps more flight behaviour in that than he's willing to gaze at directly haha#rye looks at lucanis claiming he's a mess and goes 'oh buddy you should've seen me the first day in a year I was fully sober#and working on that fucking orb with head pounding and eyeliner running. even like this you're one of the tidiest#and most disciplined people I've ever met. you're literally fine.'#the reason the romance is so slow is not even mostly on lucanis I think rye is the slower to truly open up one in that dynamic lol#hey. I love rook. I love him so much. my trying his best underachieving babyboy who killed god when he got it together#I suspect this is going to be a situation where I've planned multiple other playthroughs#that will inevitably be hampered by '...but where is rye tho. I wish rye was here. does anyone else miss rye' lmao#for reference I've finished DA:O at least 4 times. and all four of them was sophia amell doing exactly the same things. I have a Pattern lo#a pattern I have only really broken in da:i where I have three inquisitors I care about sort of equally (adaar is my fave#but I have fondness for them all)#hawke I basically play as always the same person just AUs of him haha. what if he was a mage instead and it was somehow even sadder#that sort of thing
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frickin shite that was the worst small group I've ever been to in my life
#the eisegesis made me want to rattle out of my bones in frustration#got corrected for trying to cross-reference because ''we only stick to our one passage'' and nearly fucking cried about it#I PHYSICALLY CANNOT NOT CROSS-REFERENCE SCRIPTURE#not only is it a shitty hermeneutical process but it's also just Not How My Brain Works!!#y'all have seen me crossreference on this blog it isn't just the Bible! I can't Not crossreference things to save my life#and I basically got (admittedly she was trying to be kind about it) corrected in front of the entire group of 20somethings#and the couple that leads it are so PARTICULAR and nitpicky and it has to be done their way or you're gonna get corrected#my first introduction to her was her coming up to me while I was working the sound booth and telling me about something#wrong with my production setup that I KNEW ABOUT and WAS AND STILL AM NOT ABLE TO CHANGE#(our camera for livestreams doesn't have a high enough mount and I don't have space to extend it higher so we catch the tops#of people's heads in the camera shot)#and the girl I went bc I want to get to know her better WASNT EVEN THERE#I spent the entire time trying not to cry or look at anyone#I need to find a different small group... sorry all the kids my age were nice but I can't handle the structure or leaders#Lu rambles#adulthood woes
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Me normally: Let people love what they love
Me, after a Test Match Special commentator expresses their belief that the new All Creatures Great and Small is somehow "better" than the 1978 version: This is pure insanity and TMS can no longer be trusted on anything, how can they even be trusted to know about cricket, do they have no TASTE
#Look it's fine that this show exists and people will watch it and like it and that's ok maybe it's just not for me#But that was like a statement purely designed to piss me off#There were lots of issues with the 1978 adaptation! I still vastly preferred the books any day!#And I actually initially had high hopes for the new one because they at least cast a Scot (albeit a Highlander not a Clydesider) as James#And the actors at least looked a little bit younger than Christopher Timothy and Robert Hardy#And thank god Helen actually sounds like she's a farmer's daughter and doesn't speak RP!#But from the half hour I've seen of it I've had to write off this new adaptation#For two major reasons#First of all there's Siegfried#Siegfried is one of the key central aspects of the vibe of the books and therefore key to any adaptation#Robert Hardy was too short and too old for the part but he lived and breathed the character#The twinkle in the eye bouncing off the walls and in and out of rooms followed by half a dozen dogs utterly full of life even when angry#But this new Siegfried is just sort of... Eeyore-esque; he comes into a room and you can see the flowers droop and the set turn grey#Siegfried was angry Siegfried was happy and the historical character he was based on was no stranger to melancholy#Since Donald Sinclair did commit suicide or rather self-euthanasia after Alf Wight and his own wife Audrey died#But this slow grumbly figure in the new adaptation is not Siegfried Farnon- the book character didn't grumble more often he exploded#And why did the adaptation give him a dead wife that's so weird? What could that possibly add to the source material?#And this brings me onto my second problem which is to do with women and age#Firstly I have no idea why they aged down Mrs Hall or at least made her look younger than a woman her age would have back then#But what really drove me mad was when Heriot goes out to see some old woman hill farmer in the episode I saw#And this woman is far too clean and young-looking and you can see that she's wearing 'natural' look make-up#And a perfect set of clothes that looked like they were straight out of the House of Bruar autumn collection catalogue#Say what you like about the 1978 adaptation but old women looked like old women regardless of whether or not they wore make-up#It may be that the better quality of television screens means that the 'natural look' shows up on screen more clearly than it would have#But natural look make-up was not really a thing in the 1930s and for old women Yorkshire hill farmers I doubt they'd have much on at all#They just don't seem to be capable of allowing people to look old and wrinkled and real or have bad teeth or unattractive clothes#And everything is far too tidy- everybody looks far too perfectly country and quaint#Anyway the moral of this story is of course that I always recommend reading the books because they're much better#than any tv adaptation; but if forced to choose at least the 1970s one felt real and yet didn't have to be grim either#Ok that's my rant over please do feel free to enjoy the show I just got annoyed because the opinion was expressed on TMS
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This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.
I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.
For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.
Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.
If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.
That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"
Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.
For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.
The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.
At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.
The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?
Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.
Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-
But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.
Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.
To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.
"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.
"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."
And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.
What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.
I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.
#dao#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#da morrigan#tw: sa mention#long post#i love origins so much#every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional*#and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before#also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her#morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them#since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him#and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in#and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've#but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes#and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks#that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk#i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still
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will forever have a soft spot for chloe cause yeah dawg i get it we can try to avoid becoming attached out of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned again but miserably fail together
#she's not the best person ever#but no one is#and i'm not excusing a lot of her actions#like the way she acted when kate called max will always leave me biting my fist out of frustration#but people love to just stare at the surface n focus on the parts of her that aren't great#n don't bother to wonder what got her there#the part that jumps to conclusions and does things out of pure selfishness#and that part that doesn't really think things through...#like shooting that damn bumper#but i GET IT#putting so much trust and love into people just to have them disappear on you especially if you dont know if its intentional#not getting closure can do SO much damage it's not even funny#n it legit can just make you feel like an idiot when you look back like#why did i try so hard just to end up alone#like this girls life went downhill at the age of 14#she just like me fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭#no but#it's hard not to feel like the worlds against you#even at the end she acknowledges that she's been selfish#SO#i don't like believing that she chooses to be this way yknow like#i truly think that she believes acting like a hardass all the time is the only way she'll be able to get by anymore#she lost her dad n then max n then tried again with rachel and then lost her#i'd be fuckin insane too#girl just doesn't wanna be hurt anymore#there's better ways of coping and acting but overall i get where she's coming from#n ill always save her bc i genuinely believe that she deserves a second chance#to live her life and find happiness again#life is strange#chloe price
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god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
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ok so it's already wild enough that scott thompson from the kids in the hall was present for my first drink of alcohol, first time smoking a joint, took me to my first gay bar, etc. but the fact that he lowkey also contributed to the chain of events that led to me having my first kiss tonight is truly insane like how does this keep happening
#for context i took a girl i've been seeing to a show he was on at the comedy bar tonight and she really liked it#and idk i think seeing whether she liked buddy/scott was really a litmus test of whether we'd work as a couple#bc these things are so important to me that if someone doesn't get them they're 100% dealbreakers#so when we were talking about how much she liked the show i asked if i could kiss her and she said yes#even more wild: i'd already said goodbye to scott earlier bc he said he was going home. but a minute after my first kiss#i look over and see that he's actually been absorbed into another conversation across the room#like jfc how are you in the same room for this one scott. like it's hilarious why are all my coming of age moments in the same room as you
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