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suicidalslasher · 4 years

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𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒚 - 𝒋𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒅.

the one where Jason is a jealous dumbass, that’s it - that’s the plot.

WARNINGS: This is a Jason Dean fanfiction, therefore, you all know what you’re signing up for. I don’t really got to tell you, twice.

Possessive!Jason. Jealous!Jason. Female reader, reader’s pronouns are she/her.

Slight mention and scene of choking but it’s not graphic. A hint of NSFW but it isn’t shown. Also there’s a few mentions of blood but it’s not a lot, either. I wanted to tag that nonetheless, too. Also, Jason actually shows emotions in this which is out of character but in MY world, Jason Dean is a simp to his girlfriend and would rather die than to live a day without her.

I may add the smut scene later on, who knows? Not me. This is my first imagine of Jason Dean so be nice to me or I’ll be like Ghostface and gut you like a fish (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*

If you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to follow and or leave me a request, as they are open. If you also like my work and or have a dollar to spare, as it will help me write and create more stories like this one, my ko-fi is here.

Thank you and enjoy :)

White knuckles from clenching his fists too hard, and gritted teeth from effort to remain silent, Jason bit back his words, knowing they'd be harsh and full of poison. He's fully aware of how much damage he'd likely cause if he spit out the words that were on his mind. He was going to break, and he knew it wasn't going to take too long until he did so. Yet, as the female continued to talk beside him as an attempt to grab his attention, the feelings only grew larger and he dug his teeth into his bottom lip, the metallic taste of blood trickling on the tip of his tongue. Jason swallowed that anger when it was nothing but a fire-seed and he had forgotten to drink something cold right after, in an effort to calm himself down; therefore, it grew in his stomach until it came out hotter than any dragon breath.... all those negative emotions that swam in his veins and crept in the pit of his stomach exploded and all the feelings he desperately was trying to hold back came burning on the one person he loved the most, his girlfriend, (Y/N). His face was red with suppressed rage and when (Y/N) set her finger on his shoulder, he swung around and mentally snapped, his nostrils flared and his pupils were blown and dilated as he snarled like an out of control beast. "I hate him more than I do the Heathers," spat Jason, as he pushes his girlfriend up against the wall, the framed photograph that hung there now remained at the bottom of their feet, shattered into hundreds of pieces. "I don't like you hanging out with him." Jason growled, his fingers curling around (Y/N)'s throat, feeling her pulse begin to quicken as he presses his weight down onto the palm of his hand. "Do you know how much it hurts to see you look at someone else? To see you smile at someone else? It makes me feel sick.” "Jason... Let go of me. Let's talk. Please? You don't even know him... if you'll let me speak and tell you-" "You love him, don't you?" Jason hisses, the sentence feeling like a slap to (Y/N)'s face as he throws out this statement.... it was a lie, that's what it was and (Y/N) desperately was trying to tell him how wrong he was but he just wouldn't listen, the arrogant son of a bitch never listens! "You love him more than you do me." Before either teen realizes it, Jason is letting go of (Y/N)'s throat only for him to raise his hand up into a fist and he's punching the only other framed photograph that was beside her, the glass shattering behind his knuckles. (Y/N) screams in horror and although she's pissed off, she - obviously - still cares about her boyfriend. "Jason!" (Y/N) yelps, tears falling down her cheeks as she rushes to her boyfriend's side, examining his hand which was now dripping with crimson, a few drops of red landing on the now broken picture frame and the wooden floor beneath their feet. "C'mon, I've got a first aid kit around here, somewhere-" "You love him." Jason repeats, ignoring the fact she was trying to help him. He pulls his hand back, dropping his arm by his side, not even caring about the way the blood was falling from his knuckles and staining both his pants and shirt. The anger and venom that once coated his words were now replaced with a hint of sadness and heartbreak. She's never seen him this upset before.... regardless, if he'd just calm down, she could explain. "Jason, baby-" His voice broke as he looked up at (Y/N), sad eyes meeting with her confused but angry gaze. On top of those, she was sad, too. "Go then. Go to him, if you prefer to spend your day with him rather than your own boyfriend. You don't care about me, I'm not sure you ever did." (Y/N) sighed, shaking her head as a few more tears spill past her cheeks. "Fine. If you won't let me talk and tell you my side of the story, I'm leaving. If that's what you think and if you truly think I don't give a fuck about you, I'm gone." (Y/N) mutters, letting go of his hand as she walks back over to the door, grabbing her keys and wallet before storming out the door, slamming the door shut as she leaves.

A week passes.

Another week following behind that.

(Y/N) didn't bother to call or show up.

He really fucked things up, didn't he?

Jason wasn't huge on showcasing his feelings and putting them out on display for people to see. The only emotion he was so used to showing was anger and madness. Nothing but chaos was built and stored away in Jason Dean's body, too. All three traits made him who he was. People may not like him because of his temper and all the flaws he had but it was him, and he didn't plan on changing for anybody. Expect.... of course, (Y/N). As he sat alone in his bedroom, he felt depressed. He never cried, either. Couldn't tell you the last time he ever did cry. Did he even cry as a baby? Jason wasn't sure, nor could he tell you.

But.... Jason cried. For the first time in forever, he broke down and cried. Couldn't help himself. By the end of the night, there were no tears left to cry. He had run dry. His body couldn't form any more tears. Feeling both mentally and physically drained, Jason reached over and grabbed his phone off of the night stand, dialing the one number he actually had memorized. All he got was her voicemail. "This is (Y/N). I can't answer the phone at the moment but I will get back to you as soon as I can! Bye!" Jason groaned and he was half-tempted to throw the phone out of his window but he decided against it as he left a voicemail, regardless. He wanted (Y/N) to know he was sorry.

He wanted (Y/N) to know that despite their arguments (which weren't constant but when they did fight, it was mainly due to Jason's behavior rather than her own) he loves her.

(Y/N) coming into his life was the only good thing the world had offered and gave him. He wasn't going to give her up. Not that easily, anyways. "Hey." He had forgotten he was leaving a voicemail, having zoned out for a second, the beep brought him back out of his thoughts. "It's me. Uh.... Jason.... your boyfriend? I hope so, anyway, still.... But, yeah, it's Jason.... Jason Dean.... ha, uh.... you knew that.

Listen, I'm sorry for everything, (Y/N). I'm sorry for having that temper tantrum and taking out my frustration and jealousy on you. I'm not good at this type of stuff, not so great with showing my emotions in person either, so....

I'll talk here, hopefully the message goes all the way through. I don't want to say this in person, again, I'm not good at the whole unraveling my feelings, especially not face to face.

But... (Y/N), baby, you're the best thing that's ever been mine. You're my darlin', my girl, and I got jealous because I was scared, okay?

I was scared of losing you. And I'm telling you this because it's been awhile now and I haven't seen you around or heard from you in awhile. Therefore, I may have already lost you but.... I love you, (Y/N)... and I'm sorry, okay?

Thought you'd never hear me say that, huh? Me, apologizing? That's like... once in a blue moon. Hah.....

But, uh... well, it's true. I'm sorry and I, Jason Dean, love you, (Y/N) (L/N). And I hope that you still love me too." With that, Jason ends the call, hanging the phone back up on the table as he falls back onto the bed. He didn't - doesn't - know what to do if he didn't have (Y/N) by his side. Trying to ignore these thoughts and place his attention elsewhere, he decides he needs to focus on sleeping. His body was exhausted after all that crying, plus the punch to the picture frame was still making his hand ache and throb, despite it being a few weeks since he had done it.

He had one hell of a nasty bruise, too. He was sure it wouldn't look so ugly and scarred if he had listened to (Y/N) and taken her up on that offer when she suggested the first aid kit... Before he knows it, he's drifting off into a deep slumber, naturally bringing a pillow into his chest, tucking it underneath his arm as he falls asleep.

Faint whispers of (Y/N)'s name spills pass his lips as he sleeps. He'd rather be cuddling her than a pillow but he'll take what he can get. He just hopes she'll accept his apology.

(Y/N) gets home a little after midnight, sighing heavily and tiredly as she kicks off her shoes and strips out of her jacket, hanging the coat up first before setting her shoes under the rack. She had just finished unpacking and helping her cousin move things in his new apartment and she was exhausted. All she wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed.

In the corner of her eye, however, she notices her answering machine is flashing red, letting her know someone had left a voicemail. She walks over and clicks on the button, expecting it to be for her parents but instead she's met with a shocking fate - it was Jason.

Hearing his voice, so weak and vulnerable, brought tears to her eyes and she bit back a sob. Especially when he apologized, that was new.

They've said those three words to each other before, of course, but it was hearing how sad he sounded that let her know he truly did love her, despite everything they've been through and all the silly arguments they've shared over the past few months; they loved each other.

And nothing - nobody - could ever stand in the way of that. Jason was still a huge dumbass, however.

And as she grabs her jacket, sliding the thick layer of clothing around herself and dips her feet into her boots, she's quick to go and tell him that, too.

She loves him, yes, but she needs to let him know he was a huge fucking idiot.

Jason, for the most post, was sleeping peacefully until he heard a loud crash coming from downstairs, along with a string of curse words.

He was quick to get up, throwing the blanket and pillow aside as he opened his bedroom door and creeps down the hallway, wondering who the hell was in his living room.

He was met with.... well, not a burglar neither his father as he would have guessed the next outcome to be but rather his girlfriend.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?" He asks, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands as he tried to shake off the remaining sleep that had taken over him not even a few hours ago.

"I came here to scare you, obviously." She scoffs, rolling her eyes as she scrambles up and off of the floor, brushing her knees and arms from the fall she had taken. "Your door was locked, couldn't find the extra key anywhere so I snuck in through the window and-"

"And... you're bleeding." Jason said, gesturing to the tiny gash on her arm. "C'mon, I've got a first aid kit around here somewhere." He mocks, giving her a playful smile as he quoted the words she had said to him the day they got into that fight.

(Y/N) said nothing but she follows when Jason offers his hand out to her, anyway. He was surprised when he did find the small box up in a cabinet.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Nothing a bandage won't fix, right?"

"(Y/N). Why are you here? You never did answer me." Jason said, getting out the tiny box of band-aids, ripping one open as he presses the item down onto her arm. She was right, it wasn't a big cut, a few drops of blood, sure, but it wasn't one that'd get infected.

"I got your voice message." She said with a shrug of her shoulders. "And I came to talk to you about it."

He wasn't sure whether or not that was a good or bad thing.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. You're a dumbass."

Oh.

It was bad.

He felt his heart drop down to his stomach. He really let his jealousy get the best of him and now he was going to lose the one good thing he had in his life.

"I love you but you didn't let me speak," She continued. "That guy you saw... first of all, you have no right to judge him or say you hate him when you have no idea who he is. That dude I was seen with was my cousin, who, may I add, is gay.”

“I’ve been helping him move which is why you saw me in town with him. We were getting a few supplies and picking up his furniture.” She continues.

“You got jealous over a guy who is far from being attracted to females. And you know... he's related to me as well, so, that also plays a huge part in it. And if you didn't notice either, the picture you broke was actually a portrait of my family and his together at a family reunion. Of course, you didn't see that, though or probably even noticed but.... yeah, you're a dumbass. I love you, J.D, but you're an idiot for thinking I'd ever love someone more than I love you."

Jason says nothing, he feels embarrassed, ashamed, but overall; he feels happy, knowing she still loves him, even if he was a total moron. "I'm sorry, baby, I got jealous and I shouldn't jump so quickly to conclusions and-"

"And you need to make up for it." She said, pressing her chest up against his, resting her hand on the palm of his cheek, brushing a few stray hairs out from his face as she gives him a seductive look. "And how.... exactly, are you going to make up for it, baby?" She purred.

"I think I've an idea." He said with a smirk.

"Oh, yeah? While you're at it, can you choke me like you did, too?"

"I'll do more than just choke you with my hand, darling."

"To be suffocated and to choke on either your cock and hand would be a blessing, my dear."

"Then let's go upstairs, shall we?"

(Y/N) smiled and took Jason's hand with her own, giggling as if she wasn't just talking about getting choked by her boyfriend, as if she was some saint rather than a sinner. Fuck... Jason loves how dirty she was. "We shall." He replies, nearly dragging her up the stairs and into his bedroom.

"Going to show you how much I love you, going to treat you so good, so well, baby girl... missed you so much, love you so much..."

#heathers #jason dean x reader #jason dean x yn #jason dean fanfics #jason dean x femreader #jason dean one shot #jason dean imagines #christian slater #christian slater x reader #christian slater x yn #my works #cierra's stories

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calypsoff · 4 years

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Twenty.

I would be lying if I said I am ok with this, I am not. I am actually devastated and just the simple fact she never just reached out to me and just let me go, what was that all about. Did she not care anymore, did she stop caring, was I annoying her. Whatever it was I couldn’t take it, just seems a lot of lies were flying around and then I looked stupid, I felt stupid. I know Robyn can be so emotional, I assumed she would have cried, better yet even told me no we can just work it out. I didn’t even want us to split like that, I am hurt. I just don’t know where it went wrong, after Mexico shit just went sideways. I woke up and she hasn’t said a word, I am sad as fuck. I went straight ro bed when I got back to Texas, I didn’t tell the niggas anything. I kept it one hundred, just spoke on how dope she did but I ain’t mentioned it but I think I will tell them, they going to ask and I don’t want to speak about it after this. Locking my phone shaking my head, getting up from the bed in a huff. Grabbing my sweatpants from the floor, my clothes are a mess, they are everywhere right now. I need to wash my clothes actually, pulling up my sweatpants. Pulling open my bedroom door, I swear these niggas didn’t sleep, I can tell they didn’t. They been playing 2k since they came back “slept well?” Barry asked as he walked by to the kitchen with a bowl in hand “made breakfast for us, I was about to wake you too” nodding my head seeing TJ “morning” rubbing the top of my head “we ain’t in Cali bro, walking around topless and shit” TJ is a damn fool “it’s always warm for me in these streets, didn’t y’all sleep?” sitting down on the couch “nah, we still on the come down from the tour. I have had party invites, bitches want me” here he goes “that is because you documented everything” Barry touched my shoulder “you heard the latest development from the TJ and Tina story” shaking my head, Barry is smirking so it’s going to be something messy “this nigga here right here, has Tina’ number and they entered the mile high club” my face softened “what?” they joking “she got that good good, I like her” this is a joke “you had sex with Tina on the plane” he nodded his head, oh this is a mess “and she said she will come and visit me, your girl is staying in Cali so she got time” I feel annoyed now, this is a mess.

TJ nudged me “not hungry? You pregnant, morning sickness shit” he got jokes “says the father himself, you have a whole baby with a hoe so there is that” his face dropped, he deserved that “so you being real with Tina? You like her that much? Like not playing games, you being dead ass?” I can’t comprehend this, I don’t know why but I can’t “I like her a lot, she laughs at my jokes without making me feel dumb, we have real ass conversations, she is dope. Barry back me up here, you sat with us?” all I am thinking about is the fact I am a single man, meanwhile TJ over here is imagining wedding bells, imagine that. How awkward would that be. If they got married and I am there, she is there “did you just ignore me!?” Barry shouted, shaking my head “uh no, sorry what did you say?” Barry kissed his teeth “I said I would be lying to say they didn’t, but they did get on so well” I sighed out “so she is coming to see you?” am I invested in someone else’s relationship when mine is dead “she is staying here for a few days” I didn’t mean to roll my eyes, but I did “wow Chris, why? I am always happy for you” rubbing my face “I need a blunt, I will be back” shuffling my chair out, I need something in me.

Barry and TJ just stared at me like I am crazy “it is cold as fuck out there and you went out topless” I shrugged shuffling the chair in “I have something to tell you both, why I have felt like that towards things. It’s not your fault, I am sorry for making you feel that way” they will eventually find out, also I don’t want Tina telling him before me “Robyn and I split” rubbing my chin not really wanting to see reactions, I just don’t want to see it but they are awfully quiet “y’all love each other?” TJ said “don’t say that, I been telling y’all she is acting shady and she couldn’t give me the reason why she ditched me in the club, why she been wanting to stay away from me, her friends and family were acting shady towards me and I wanted her to speak, to tell me. She said sorry again and I said I am leaving and that is it for us, I ended it. I can’t just be Rihanna’ puppet you know, I am doing good for her, something like I got her pads, she asked. Shit I don’t know, she was bleeding I went for her out of love, but it seemed like a game, like she wanted me to go so she didn’t stop me, she let me go and I feel like shit, I do” Barry placed his hand on my shoulder “I am so sorry, I get it now. I do” nodding my head “she went missing all night, figures actually. She could be back with ASAP” looking at TJ “she didn’t like him like that?” I questioned, she told me that “the video is going around, they looked flirty and he grabbed her booty, like a whole piece of it” tilting my head to the side “you’re joking?” he is lying “I saw it too but didn’t mention it because that’s your relationship, she would have mentioned but now we know this, this is shady now” balling my fist up.

TJ turned his phone to me showing me the video of Robyn and ASAP on stage, she is happy. Well she seems it, squinting my eyes as ASAP came into her and then gripped her butt, shaking my head looking away from the video “she told me she doesn’t like ASAP like that so I am confused, like she let that happen right after we split, I am hurt but fuck it” putting my hands up “fuck it? I would call her and just say how wack she is” shaking my head “she is a friend to me also, I would never trash talk her, it’s not me. I mean it is me but Robyn, she is my friend first of all and we have split but I am not going to say anything, she can do what she likes” I shrugged “it is what it is, the tour broke us, and it was mainly her attitude towards me, I didn’t deserve that from her at all. She shouted at me and shit but I won’t be speaking on her like that, it’s done. I don’t want to hear her name for a while, I am happy for you TJ and I hope it works out for you but yeah, I am pretty hurt. I need to just get over it” chewing on my bottom lip “I can take Tina elsewhere? We can go to a hotel, it’s not fair on you” shaking my head she fucked me over, I don’t know” I can’t believe it, I look stupid and I feel like a whole clown, I should have known.

I didn’t think Tina would be here so quickly, I mean TJ has just told me this in the morning and now she is here. I don’t dislike her, but I feel a type of way about it because she probably knows, I don’t know but let me say hi to her, god knows what TJ is up to with her, I hope it ain’t no dumb shit “here he is” TJ pointed out “hey, nice seeing you again after all that” sitting down on the couch “I know, TJ invited me. He is hilarious” nodding my head smiling “I thought you was coming to California with us? I was shocked when you weren’t there” shaking my head “why would I, you ran here quick though? You not helping her?” I am shocked she is here or got time off “she said she didn’t need me and gave me time off, when I got to Cali she just said go home. That was it, so I packed up. She will call when I am needed” getting up from the couch “I am going for a walk, y’all have fun” Barry was about to get up but I pushed him back down “I am cool, I just need space thanks” nice of him but no, I need my time alone.

“Ok” I said, I mean what else does my publicist want me to say “I am going to lay down” pushing my chair back, walking off to my bedroom. Rumours are being thrown about, they are being thrown about so much that people assume they are real, that I am wanting Rakim like that, he grabbed my ass, and I was not expecting it at all. It just added to my depression I am feeling, I hate myself so much. The only thing I keep thinking about is why didn’t I act on the signs, I felt it. I knew it, I missed my period so I knew it but I didn’t do anything and I just pushed myself. My mood changed, my body was changing, I was changing but yet I did nothing about it. I hate myself so much, but I haven’t cried since, Mel follows me like a lost dog. I just want to be left alone, forever alone. I wanted one thing, I give, I always give, and I wanted to just be a mother. Pushing open the bedroom door “don’t need to follow me” I said, I can hear Mel behind me “bitch I think not, you are not alone Robyn” I want to be alone, grabbing my bear and getting back into my bed. I was in bed before my publicist came, wanted to verify what is happening with Rakim, nothing is happening.

This feels painful, just passing the tissue that was supposed to be my baby “you know that my baby’ heard would have been beating, it starts to form, and I just remained reckless. I was drinking and smoking, not eating. Not caring about me, I was so lost in me. My baby heart would have been beating, I killed it Mel” Mel has probably heard this already, but I am hurting so badly, she started to rub my back “stop reading up on such things Robyn, it’s not healthy. It’s hard on you, it’s hard that you’re having to go through this on your own too. I personally think you should have told him” she is different to me “the very man that would have been annoyed that I even got pregnant, I wanted this to much. I wanted something of my own, I never have anything of my own, I am everyone’s to sell for a quick buck” Mel’ hand lightly raked through my hair “you are so beautiful friend, it is something you will never get over, I read up that it’s something that will stay with you but I know god will bless you Robyn, I know god will” I lightly chuckled “I lost two things in one day, you say you want me to mourn but I did on the stage in front of everyone there, look I don’t want to speak on it. Leave me to wallow in my own pain” this is all I need to do “let’s change the subject real quick, Tina told me a little secret. She entered the mile high club on tour with TJ” I know this kind of information I would be screaming about but I can’t bring myself to do it, I can’t just feel something “here is me thinking she was innocent” I am so numb.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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naturaldisasterfanfiction · 4 years

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21. Part 3

Landing in London in the early hours, it is just my luck that I had to go through proper customs, it’s a hit and miss when that happens but they were ever so kind to me and it was quiet because of how late it is. I can’t fault them with how they treated me, took me to the backrooms, so I am annoyed but not that much. I think I am doing well actually, especially without a bodyguard to help me “thank you” I said to the lady that held the door open for me “Welcome to the UK Miss Fenty” she said, smiling at her “oh my baby!” my mom said “you been waiting for me all this time, mommy” opening my arms up to her “you look so good baby oh my god, I have missed my only daughter” hugging my mom, just to hug my mother close I have missed her so much “I feel so emotional seeing you like this, to see my baby having a baby. I have been dreaming of this moment, I am so emotional to see you like this and baby. You look so happy; you are glowing with happiness. I prayed god would look over you, to bless you. Gran gran to watch over you while you travel with the bundle of joy, I just love you so much. It makes me nervous when you travel now, I want you to stay put” my mom got me choked up “I wish she was here; I know she is looking down on me smiling but this is it now. I am not moving anywhere” moving back from the hug “you look so beautiful, my baby. Look at you, and how is my grandchild” my mom touched my bump “I just, I am amazed to see you this way. I find it weird but also a blessing” smiling at my mom “she is good, she is having a party every night. We are good, I am just ready to get home and start setting up for her, I need the break now. I want peace, it’s time for some peace, you know” my mom nodded her head “well, let’s go home now” my mom held my hand, I love her so much.

The home is in boxes so I decided to stay in a hotel for the night, better then going there in the middle of the night “how was the flight here?” my mom asked “it was ok, lonely. I know people are getting ready for Christmas so it’s all hectic and stuff, I am sad to not see everyone for Christmas, but I am scared, a little nervous about this. It’s a lot, and I just wanted her father with me” I didn’t want to mention names, I mean the driver can’t hear but you never know “your husband” my mom said, my face dropped “I am not stupid, and I know how crazy you both are” my mom put her head down, looking to where my mom is looking and it’s my ring finger “pretty ring Robyn, it was very thoughtful of him, he knows you adore emerald. Which you told me represented the love you had. Which was him” my mom lifted her head to look me in the eyes, I didn’t want my mom to know until I was ready “I am not angry at you for eloping, only god knows why and I do know why. The disapproval of the world will be heavy on you, and you and I both know that. I am not angry for my daughter to be a wife; I am not upset either. Chris made you an honest woman, and that does make me happy. I am a little upset because I didn’t get to see my daughter a bride but don’t hide such love” I feel awful now, I feel like I have upset my mom “I was scared, I ran as soon as he proposed to me. I ran because I didn’t want anyone to invade my thoughts, we have been through shit together and all I expect now is just that so when people say they are happy I see the negativity. I am so happy mom, you don’t understand” I sobbed out “I know you are, and I am not angry at you” my mom rubbed my back, it is so hard for us and it’s always a battle to please everyone.

I am a mess right now, and I did not expect my mom to know so quick “how was it, now you stopped crying?” my mom asked “it was perfect, so much love and happiness in one room. I don’t care for the dream because that left me a long time ago when I knew the powers of evil always won, I tried fighting and I gave up. The day was us, it was beautiful and we exchanged the vows that was meant for us, now we are married and not living in sin as you call it” my mom chuckled lightly “I have to give it to him, he made you a honest woman and you deserve to be that Robz, I know you have spoken on things and you felt like nobody will ever do that for you. God guided you and he may have guided you into the arms of Chris but that is because that man loves you, we know that and I would like to see him shine with you, I know you can do that. You know when you are a Mother Robyn, you only want the hurt to go for your daughter. You want to help them but I have been so helpless in this, from the depression on your face, from the time when you went so skinny and then you gained so much weight, you got bullied for being fat then, so much evil against you but you’re here now, I am happy. Your brothers don’t understand a woman’s trouble, especially when you were getting older and you felt you was not going to have a baby. I say god blessed you” looking at my mom, I am feeling very emotional about things “so there, I am happy for you. Don’t be sad” least she knows and is not angry with me “It is always hard being strong. I know Chris has his issues and I want you to take your family and you live your life Robyn. You don’t please nobody, you please your family now” nodding my head, my mom is right.

I am knackered, I just want to crawl into bed and sleep, but I need to call Chris, I did say I would, but I can just leave a missed call. He should be asleep by now, but I don’t know. He said he punched Keeis so I need to know why, I don’t want him to get in trouble at all. Those friends of his are just disgusting and rude, I want them gone. Putting my phone on speaker, placing it on the bed so I can climb into bed slowly. I am dragging myself right now, I am so sleepy “dumpling, I have been waiting for you to call me. I was so worried you wasn’t going to call but you did, I was going to call you but I know you said you was landing” I miss him, just to hear his voice and how excited he is “I miss you” that was it, that is all it took for me to be crying “are you crying? Robyn please don’t cry, I didn’t want that” placing the covers over me like a child that is being forced to sleep “you’re not here to tuck me in” I managed to say through my sobs “I know, I will be there soon” shuffling back against the headboard “not soon enough, it’s not fair. I am getting big, my ankles are swollen, my nose is big. And it’s cold in London” I cried out, it’s all so much “did the cold hurt you or something?” Chris questioned “no! But I don’t like it now because you’re not here” I sniffled, I am sounding like a brat, but I am sad as hell “I can’t change the weather Robyn, I am sorry. I haven’t even started doing anything yet, just please hold on” now my eyes are sore “how long” I mumbled staring at my hands “you sound so cute but like I don’t know maybe a week or two” I huffed out “you’re not here to see her, I just needed the support. I wanted the father there” blowing my nose, I just cry so much now, and it can be for the smallest reasons too “I know” I probably upset him now, let me calm myself down and stop being such a wreck.

I breathed out “I am calm now; I am in a hotel. I didn’t go to the home because I have a lot to do with just me and my mom” I said lowly “you’re making me feel so bad Robyn, like I am sorry ok. I am just trying my best here” taking in a deep breath “I will be fine, anyways tell me what happened with you and Keeis?” I would like to talk about something different now “because niggas be treating me like I am fucking stupid, Robyn I said to him don’t let niggas be there, and what does he do? Invites them, I am done with that shit. I felt laughed at so I punched him, and they soon ran out but they think I am going crazy. Robb called me and was like we family, why did you do that. Family fucking listen! And they don’t watch their cousin get fucked over so yeah, that happened” shaking my head lightly “it’s ok Chris, you’re not crazy. They will know soon enough why, you just need to ones that are happy for you” I am being too much for Chris, I think anyways “oh and I have something to tell you, like you’re already so upset so now I am unsure of saying it but like I feel like a punk bitch for not doing anything but I did it for you. I thought of you and had to be calm about it, it’s fucked up and I just, I am fucking angry” I am scared now “what is it?” I rather know “I should have knocked his Jew ass out to be honest” from when he said Jew, I knew. Taking my phone off speaker and placing it against my ear “tell me” I said.

“Wait, I am just parking my car. I just got home” I thought he was driving “so you just got home now? Where did you go? Oh you went to the studio ok, so what happened. Hurry up” he is taking his time “anyways I do have the home to myself now” I am glad to hear that “make sure you close your gate and stuff, be safe” I am sure those friends know his security pass “I will don’t worry about it, I am just getting inside now. But Mijo knows about us, he figured it out. That post I put up, and also you rang, and he saw it. He goes he knows us, and he knows we slept together at the party too. He told me to go to London and don’t look back and I appreciate that advice, it’s the best thing he has said to me” I smiled a little “I expected Mijo to figure it out. I am not shocked, after the caption I was like watch Mijo figure it out, it’s nice of him to say that now hurry up and come here” people that know us, then will know that we are crazy together “are you inside yet? Damn, I wish you was that slow when you cum” Chris snorted laughing “your pussy too good, I can’t last and I am inside but I need to get comfy first” rolling my eyes “I don’t have time, can you just stop playing around” he is taking ages now “time is all you have now but I went to the studio to lay a verse on a song with Drake, Ant said it would be good money and the blogs are talking shit, use him and whatever. So I did go there, I took Mijo for backup of course. So yeah I went there and erm, I just don’t want to upset you because I had to hold myself back, I was not happy but I didn’t do anything for you Robyn, I thought of you” now I am really concerned “I am a big girl, I can take it. Tell me” what has happened “I am angry, and I hate I can’t say anything because you’re my wife, but I promise you when it’s out I am gunning for him, I will beat his ass. I feel so bad I didn’t say anything but if I did then you would be upset with me, so I just had to stay quiet, I feel so bad like a real bad husband” I feel stressed already and I haven’t heard it “Chris, what the fuck happened?” I asked calmly, I am trying to be calm but they way he is reacting is worrying.

Chris cleared his throat “so I got to the studio and we all was ok, said hi to each other. I sat down and was like ok then come on, let’s hear it. I want to get home because I knew you would be getting home and you would call, so I just wanted to take this home with me and I will work on the verse. He was like oh yeah sure, I have this song for the album now I am like fine, so I am sat there. The song plays, it’s a good beat to it and I am like yo this is cool. I am angry all over again now actually, I feel like a bitch ass nigga for not saying anything, I didn’t take up for you at all!” he spat “whatever happened I am glad you didn’t because it would have been worse then this” it would be worse for him “yeah so the song is playing, he made a diss song about you Robyn. In the song he is speaking on how you played him, you play every nigga. You had to go for an unknown nigga, never trust a bitch that thinks she is a above you. Remember that night you were his forever, and erm something about London tattoos, and then something like now you stuck being a single mother did you really think niggas would wife a player, you’re lonely with your wine glass. The nigga wrote a text message he didn’t send and just put it on a song for you to listen too but didn’t mention names, but the song is called lonely Pisces, but he doesn’t mention no names. And then I walked out” my heart dropped, to hear those words and to know he has done that “I will call you back” disconnecting the call, I know that motherfuckers is not making a song about me.

This is the thing about him, of course he will pick up with my name calling him “hey riri” now it is hey riri “lonely Pisces huh? You were never a guy I would ever want to wake up as my husband, you gave yourself up to me like some desperate fucking bitch, how dare you! How fucking dare you even utter my name, making diss songs about me!? I will fucking leak every bastard nude picture you have sent to me, you sent them me. I never sent you shit, you sent me dick picture unprovoked you creepy fucking man, I am telling you now I am not lonely, and my baby has a dad. I said you was my forever when I was drunk, I don’t even fucking remember it!” I shouted, I am so angry “I erm, I didn’t do no song about you” he laughed nervously “lie to me, keep doing it! You pay for sex, let’s start there bitch” he lying, I know Chris wouldn’t lie to me “how do you know? Chris told you, is he the dad or something” Drake said “hell the fuck no, why would I want any of you useless niggas as the father of my child. I don’t even speak to that nigga anymore, same with you! I swear to god, on my baby Drake I will fucking get you back and I swear it will be worse for you. I will expose every thirsty thing you sent me; it has always been you. And Barry and I are very close friends, he told me. Maybe watch who you have with you. Don’t fucking try it! Don’t worry about my child, because they will be living good, think about why your so ashamed of your son and why you denied your own son because he was too white, fuck you” disconnecting the call, I am fed up like so fed up of people hating me because I closed doors on them and I didn’t et pregnant by them, who are these niggas to judge what I do.

I thought I would call Chris back but I am sad, I am very hurt by what he is saying about me “he blamed you so I called you a useless nigga and I don’t fuck with you, I said it was Mijo that told me. I am going to sleep now because I am just upset and all I have done today is cry” my voice broke “why do you have his number still?” of course Chris would say “oh my fucking god!” I shouted “is that all you care about!? Your wife is being dragged through the dirt and all you care is why does she have his number? I am going to be on my own for my scan, you are all actually useless. All I hear is reasons why I am a single mother and how I am the damaged one, how I deserve this shit because no man would wife this. Just please don’t fucking ring me back. I am tired and fed up now leave me alone” putting the phone down, I am angry and frustrated with everything right now, I just need to cry it out and fall asleep while doing so.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna Fanfiction #Chrianna #Fanfiction #Fanfic

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monkey-network · 4 years

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The Fiasco Finale of Future [1/2]

So in the penultimate episode of Steven Universe 2, the climax of both the season and series as a whole... is a group hug. As I expected, plenty were not too pleased with this turnout. Some felt it was anti-climatic, some felt it was resonating, and others tried to own the critics by digging deep into the scene like they always do sucking this show’s co- Coming from nearly a month later, I’m... split. One hand, I didn’t mind the climax. On the other hand, it was pathetic compared to plenty of other finales I’ve seen in media. It’s like this show as a whole, I enjoy it, but I also enjoy smacking it upside the head cuz it made some Karen-esque, All Lives Matter type stupid shit that I just cannot get behind. So you know what, Perry the Platypus, let’s mix it up. I wanna express the good and bad of this climactic end to the show and see where we can go from there. You ready?

What’s Good:

You truly wanna know what makes that final hug a great scene? A real showstopper? I have the truth, the best truth behind this, you won’t believe me but here goes. The climax worked because A Hug Is Nice. That’s it, there’s nothing else to it beyond a hug being nice. “But Monkey, you incel troll, there’s should’ve been more to that. The episode shouldn’t have taken that long to get to that point.” Well, in typical fashion, let me put it this way by talking about Spider-Man 2 (better than Spiderverse, don’t @ me). The whole movie is centered around Peter’s life getting shat on. He’s getting fired left and right, his people are abandoning him, he even loses his powers, he’s just at his utter lowest. But at his apartment, while contemplating, in comes his landlord’s daughter, Ursula, who offers him some chocolate cake and a glass of milk.

We can say the scene comes out of nowhere and that this is all that happens, feeling pointless, but I say this is an important scene because after everything that happens to him before, this one gesture from somebody out of nowhere to be honest was one of the nicest things he’s received in a while. It’s the seedling of a scene that keeps Parker going before Doc Ock comes to make him truly spring back into action. Above everything, it was nice. Like a hug.

I don’t need to be philosophically deep with SU2′s meta to tell you that a hug can be a worthwhile thing to get more than anything. It doesn’t resolve all the baggage Steven has in his mind, but a group hug from the people closest to you (and the Diamonds) can be a gesture so nice, it can numb you out, if only for a moment. Only other times where Steven got a hug was when he felt everything could be okay. With Lars, Peridot, and Connie after her “rejection”, and it’s after that “rejection” where he slowly loses it in his attempts to shake off that harsh feeling of abandonment and that everything can be okay. It is something where he can turn to the others for help but the concern of their response makes him reasonably suffer in silence. That last part is a little dumb, but I’ll get to that later. He can’t really hug himself because it doesn’t work like that. The point being that Steven, at his lowest, just needed something nice to consider. And a hug from everyone who loves him (and the Diamonds) can be that piece of chocolate cake he needed to be at ease, again, if only for a moment.

Like let me tell ya, as a deliriously depressed man that constantly wishes for death, a hug shouldn’t be spat on. Whether it be from your friends or mommy, a good hug can, at the very least, keep you sane and going. It isn’t medication, let’s not get it twisted, but a healthy remedy nonetheless, especially if you’ve ever felt touch-starved like I have before. It’s an affectionate gesture that for what it’s worth, should never be taken for granted. And while Steven could’ve well gotten this big type hug at almost any time he desired, I can at least appreciate the show for saving that at the right time. Whew. But, while the moment itself is nice, it’s predictably almost everything around it that unfortunately puts the moment in a vacuum and me with a bad taste in my mouth.

What’s Bad:

Let’s get this out the way, because I’m such a literal bastard... *inhale*

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!

Congrats on those with the corrupted!steven theories who no doubt had it hard on when this horned trunk ascended, hung its head high, and beat its meaty chest with blind rage, the crewniverse certainly had the balls to go with this design and a long discussion of utilizing Monster Steven’s full potential. And if you think I’m nasty about this, hoo boy, be glad that words are all you’re seeing right now because artists no doubt had a field day potentially ruining this design for you even more. I’m surprised Tumblr’s flagging system hasn’t taken down whole posts with this. HEHEHEHAAAAAAAA!

As you can probably tell, I’m not a fan of this Diamond Dinodildo’s design (say that 5x times fast). I mean Rebecca could be as horny as she pleased with this show, but this is next level, I tell you. But seriously, it honestly sucked that this is what they came up with when it served no purpose to Steven thematically other than him being a literal peen of a monster. Said this before, but what does becoming a corrupted looking amalgamation mean to him beyond “he’s a monster”? Corrupted gems weren’t the worst things in his world, they were products of a even worse thing. Turning into a diamond like figure would’ve said something about the cycle of abuse making you not feel like yourself, but a reflection of who you not only resent more than anyone, but were the indirect causes of your newfound issues. That would’ve took his struggle in the Diamonds Days arc to its next logical extreme, and brought most of Future’s episodes centered around Steven’s issues to a sensible turning point. Being a warped Diamond version of himself would’ve meant finally embracing inhumanity, and that would’ve conveyed the peak of Steven harshly feeling less like a human over the course of the season, especially when we had several episodes and new powers centering around him being inhuman. And a previous episode had him try to shatter a Pink version of White Diamond, two beings generally responsible for everything that’s happened to him. And it isn’t the design that made this a turn off.

What was Steven even gonna do as a monster? He does nothing to the town, he never even makes it pass the cliffside. He doesn’t even try to attack anybody, the only times he does is when he’s provoked by either the Cluster, the Diamonds, or any of the gems. Spinel raised more hell than Steven. So on the look back it’s insultingly sad they hyped up this big dick energy only to do... genuinely nothing. He already didn’t deserve turning into Pinky the Phallisaurus, but having him not even do anything as a monster left far more to be desired. Mob Psycho 100 did this nearly identical, but better. You can’t deny that it would’ve worked better with 22 minutes, actually give him something to do beyond screech and stomp like he’s Scrat from Ice Age. As much as I don’t like Change Your Mind, 45 minutes worked to its favor to do everything it did. Oh wait, this episode did make good use of time... with a fucking pity party.

They wasted my baby

This is. The WORST scene in the entire series and I’ll stand by that 100%. It’s one thing to show something offensive, but it’s another to have something be completely pointless. Yes, Connie talked some sense into them, but we didn’t need to waste time having White Diamond and the others bitch about something everyone who isn’t a toesucking simp should’ve figured out at that point. Not like it mattered, the Diamonds and Spinel never show up after this episode anyways, so good job making them count for something, I guess. This as well as minorly acknowledge the fact that the gems had a lot to do with Steven’s mental trauma because hey, we don’t have to hold these gems too accountable for child neglect. Speaking of which, where was Jasp- This plays well into my previous point, we aren’t shown what Steven was gonna do as a monster, so what else is the episode to do beyond holding him back in time to just make the characters go “All is lost” for one second before getting back up like this is Marvel’s Captain Driftwood?

Friendship is Magic had this type of moment in its penultimate finale but in that, more time was given to show the villains getting the upper hand, Twilight at her low point, her turnaround with her friends, and the lead in charge to defeat the villains. While some moments felt convenient and downright insulting, they made the most of their limit. The same can’t be said for this and it makes no sense. Speaking of things that make no sense:

Was this shapeshifting or corruption? Rushing or dragging? This personally bothers me because people are saying he shapeshifted even when they were also on board with him corrupting. But what was the point where monster Steven cums cries into the ocean turning it pink?

Now if Steven got himself corrupted, this would make sense since the three Diamonds are there with so fully turning him back to normal wouldn’t be an issue. Questions would arise about how corruption can happen to a human, then again this is Steven Universe, fans never really wanted you to ask questions. But if this was shapeshifting, then why have this permanent monster form? It would’ve made a little more sense of Steven changing his shape depending on his emotions, like what we’ve seen before. Additionally, Steven should have been capable of talking normally instead of roaring and growling like he switched brains with an actual animal. Just because he kinned Godzilla’s joystick doesn’t mean he was unable to speak to anybody, that is if he shapeshifted. Lastly, and this is more implicit than my previous points:

This season shouldn’t have tried tacking mental issues and trauma onto this dickslap of a climax. I’m on the side where we should’ve seen more from monster Steven, but what does this tell me for the topic of mental health? Nearly killing people on three separate occasions didn’t help, but having him transform into a near mindless beast is a backhanded way to convey post traumatic stress. Let me put it this way, if we didn’t get that episode where we learn Steven had held up trauma and stress from Doctor Priyanka, everything surrounding it afterward wouldn’t feel as fucked up as it did. Yes, understanding a root of a character’s problems is good, beneficial even, but having your character nearly, sporadically, commit MURDER THREE TIMES only to then have him become a wildin’ creature does nothing, if not disgust. It's disgusting when you talk about PTS one minute and have your main character be socially dangerous the next. You’d feel sorry for him, sure, but I gotta say nearly killing people is not something we should just hand wave. That is not a good or realistic depiction of depression and post traumatic stress; especially when you trying to discuss this with children. And don’t try to justify it by saying it was necessary for his downward spiral. Having to think and see death before my own eyes in real life, there should’ve been a better way to make Steven hit rock bottom without putting other’s lives on the line. It wasn’t compelling or resonating to see him become a witless creature after saying he could get away with anything, it felt jarringly hallow and teeth gritting sadistic to think this was acceptable. It took him turning into a literal creature to finally go to therapy or a throwaway line about therapy in this show’s case? Are you kidding me?

The hug is a nice moment on its own, but it took far too many kneecaps to get to this point and think it’s believably or justly earned. I can make fun of the monster design all I want, but what they put Steven through to get to this point is the most insulting writing I ever have to think about. Because you know what that hug told me, personally? It’s that you can commit near irrefutable atrocities, you can behave like a blithering rampaging beast all you wish, but that won’t matter. Because you’re valid and your people will love you. That is not only asinine, but it kinda pissed on what I went through growing up. Like, as idealistic as that felt, it didn’t add up because it made the mentally unstable come off as more unstable than they mostly are. You can disagree all you want with this, it won’t change the baffling fact that I came to this conclusion in the first place when I didn’t want to. “But the crew said in an interv-” NO, just nope. If the message the show gives is this polarizing for those that invested or were concerned with it, maybe the message wasn’t clear enough, who knows? I can believe Mr. Rogers never fucked this up when he made his show. I tried thinking of this differently, but I can’t excuse what they did and how they did it. Bojack Horseman never pulled this with its main lead and when it truly did, that was given more time to sort out; not an 11 minute epilogue in its final moments. The hug was nice, but this episode was trash.

Speaking of which, next time...

We Finally Look to the Future

Here’s Part 2, if you’re up.

#su critical #su criticism #su critique #su #steven universe #steven universe future #su future #suf #analysis #reviews #Good Stuff #dumb #I am my monster #long post

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notwhoiwanttobeyet · 4 years

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first day of school, 2021

keep scrolling, this is just a mental note for future reference! hope you’re havin a good day tho!! :)

i’m the only girl in my animation class and at first i thought these boys were fine but there’s these three jackasses that were talking so loud no one could hear our teacher. she’d already asked them to be quiet multiple times but they didn’t give a shit, which honestly isn’t fair on any of us that wanted to learn and pass the class. she said we don’t have to catch up for homework but i got pretty much no work done thanks to those dipshits so i’ll do it all over the weekend. anyway, as kid who answers all the questions and completes extension work ™️, i always tell people to ‘shhh’ - it’s like my superpower in a way. and they listen because they can tell i’m mad, which isn’t like me cause i repress all emotion and am just the quiet serious depressed kid ™️ most of the time. so i get so pissed i shhhh these boys, not even making eye contact because they don’t deserve any of my attention - then harvey turned looked over his shoulder to face me, silently signalling it was a bad idea. hamish had the AUDACITY to say “what’s up, bitch.” i gave them a look™️ - everyone watched and heard and a bunch of them laughed and i was super uncomfortable for the rest of the lesson and had an anxiety attack which went through into next period. it wasn’t that bad thankfully, but i was really jumpy and fidgety and freaking out.

after school we had a picnic and CALLUM came and it was great. there was this pretty girl smoking staring and me and it was h o t 😳but i left to go buy some food and shit and when i came back she was gone : ( also i turned around and these girls looked like they were about to kiss like girl a was holding girl b’s face and everything but girl a saw me staring and they ran off holding hands. i’m pretty sure i looked like i was being homophobic like i’m so sorry, i wasn’t gonna watch them kiss i just turned around at the wrong time and ahh- i’m gay too man !

anyway this gang of like 7/8th graders came towards us - we were literally having a PICNIC, MINDING OUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS and this blonde little bitch comes over and says “can i join? what is this-” he laughed, “like a-” and he made a weird face which basically meant we were losers. i’m not surprised but i was ready to get into a fight. forget being the quiet kid™️, i was fucking ready. then he has the actually, again, AUDACITY, to say to callum- “are you in mean girls?”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” callum said sassily (we love & respect)

“that you’re like-”

“like what?”

“an actor?”

bullshit. callum and i both knew he was calling him gay, which he is and so am i so obviously i’m not being homophobic but i still find it offensive when people categorise people and use lgbt+ labels as insults. his buddies started to come over. they thought they were such gangsters with those fucking ugly ass mullets. i’m sorry, only gay girls can pull a mullet off ! i’m just sayin !

then him and his friends tried taking food from jodhi (my other friend) and were stepping on our bags with our COMPUTERS in them and i was fucking pissed so after they said “can i have some?” for the 50th time when jodhi had responded no - all of my friends were uncomfortable - i stood up.

“she said no.”

he continued going on and on.

“she said no.”

consent is always important in every situation, what can i say. then i stepped forward, pushing him and his buddies further away from my friends - not physically but it forced them to back off.

“look- you’re not intimidating. you’re not intimidating. we don’t want you here. just leave.” they started calling as rude and whining, pretending to cry almost. i rolled my eyes, my voice sharp, loud and clear.

“just leave.” callum backed me up and after they whined a bit about how mean we were and shit they left, ran off laughing. dipshits. i’m proud of the way i acted, i wish i would’ve done more.

but actually today was amazing. classes were all good. i’ve been up since 5am. i made a salad roll for breakfast and everything went mostly smoothly. chloe and i also talked about being gay and about her girlfriend which was so cool. i like actually talking about being gay with people. the few gay friends i have have all been fully out to everyone since they were like 13 so they’ve all got girlfriends/boyfriends and i’m just the sad gay who cries because i’m lonely ;^; but it’s fine : , )

a n y wa y ,,,,, yeagh,. that’d the unusual tea of the day *sipppp*

also had an anxiety attack at the same supermarket as always - like it never goes smoothly, i had to get chloe to put the fucking money in the self serve machine because i couldn’t get it in, it was too crinkled and i was sshaking wanting to get out of there SO bad and the employee was like “you right there? is it not going in?” so naturally i was like “no, no it isn’t?” and my voice was shaky and everything and he just laughs - not like with me - but at me. which helps. a l ot . and then he walked off- the FucK. but chloe helped me tHanK fuCk. jesus.

also omg eloise has this shirtless harry styles sticker on her laptop and chloe and i were laughing at them to ourselves the entire lesson because every time we looked up we just saw this man and we’re gay so it’s like aqhgbiui3qwhigo23 lmao

yeeah

i’ll actually journal this later ^^

boiii

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thisisthepartwhereyou · 4 years

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BEASTARS MINI-STORY #5: “Everybody Play the Game pt. 3” by JCL

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We see the interior of a claw crane machine full of plush dolls. These plushies look like adorable chibi-versions of characters in Cat's Don't Dance (1997), such as Danny, Sawyer and Pudge. A claw moves down into frame and makes a grab at a Danny-doll. While the claw succeeds in clamping the body, the doll still slips through the grip and remains down with the rest of the dolls.

HARU: "Damn."

We see that Haru is the one playing with it, holding its joystick with an irritated expression as the claw returns to its default position. Now seeing the whole machine from the exterior, we see that it has an aquatic theme, with the picture of a cartoon crab and the title 'Treasure Trove' printed between the top of the machine and the display glass.

Legosi is standing next to Haru, leaning against the wall next to the machine.

LEGOSI: "I think you're throwing your money away. I've never actually seen anyone win something from these things."

Haru takes up a coin from her pocket and pushes it into the coin slot. The machine begins to play a short melody (which sounds like a sea chanty) and the crane inside it starts to blink, signifying that a new round has started. Haru's ears (who following the events of the last chapter look a little reddish) flicker. She got a frown on her face.

HARU: "It's not a waste of money if it keeps you distracted for a bit."

She glances over her shoulder, over which we see that the boys from 701 has taken a seat at their reserved table.

HARU: "He's still feeling pretty bad, isn't he?"

Legosi turns his head to look at Durham. The coyote look depressed for some reason.

LEGOSI: "Yeah..."

Haru pulls the joystick in a L-shaped motion, goading the claw back to the Danny-doll.

HARU: "I don't get it, it's not like he pulled my ears off or anything. He already apologized... He doesn't have to look like he's on a funeral or something."

She presses a large and red button on top of the joystick. This makes the four-fingered claw inside open up, descend and make another grab at the plushie. It goes a little better, with the doll actually being elevated for a short distance, before sliding off the grip and falling down. Haru gives off a disgruntled growl.

HARU: "Damnit! I get knocked around by accident almost daily by animals bigger than me, but they usually just apologize and then it's done. I don't take it personally, and they don't linger on it."

She quickly puts in another coin. The melody plays again and she maneuvers the claw into the same place as before. She really got in for that Danny-doll!

HARU: "I don't like getting treated like a little porcelain doll. Most of the world pities me already for being this small and fragile, he doesn't have to feel so sorry for such a little thing! It's like with you and that yakisoba-incident*...!"

She presses the button and the claw goes down again, except now it misses the intended target completely.

HARU: "SHIT! It was just a stupid mistake, and you still feel bad about it."

Haru turns her head to look at Legosi, who is still looking in Durham's direction.

HARU: "What is it with you canines and your overabundant sense of guilt?"

LEGOSI: "I think you've misunderstood why he feels as bad as he does. After he hurt you, did you happen to get a good look at the other visitors here?"

Haru's brows go up. She turns to look at the other visitors in the café besides them. We see that there is like 10 of them, all of them herbivores of varying sizes. She does not notice anything special about them though.

HARU: "What about them?"

LEGOSI: "Look at them for a little longer..."

Haru takes another, longer look. Doing this, she eventually notices how the other visitors are throwing them and the 701s nervous and/or unfriendly glances.

HARU: "... They keep looking our way?"

Legosi nods. He then crouches down, gets close to Haru and whispers into her ear.

LEGOSI: "It's because they're expecting us to attack and eat you at any moment. You probably didn't notice in the commotion..." ---

We enter a flashback, taking place right after Durham accidentally clamps Haru's ears on the Fivelimbs-carpet.

LEGOSI: "...But when you cried out they all immediately stood up or reached for their phones, probably ready to call the police."

As this happens, several of the other patrons stand up at their tables with their phones up, or look like they are about rush out or rush in.

LEGOSI: "Two of them even ran out the door."

We two scared-looking visitors, a goat and a llama, running out through the door.

LEGOSI: "Yanni reached for something behind the counter. I don't know if it was a phone, a baseball bat or a even a firearm."

Finally we see the owner, Yanni, reaching down for something behind the counter. ---

Returning to the present, Haru look upset by what Legosi just told her.

LEGOSI: "That's why Durham feel so bad. You see, because of his accident, everyone in here is now watching us with scrutiny. After all, we are six male carnivores, with one female herbivore..."

We go over to the 701s, sitting at their table. In an illustrative way, we see disembodied eyes filled with scorn spawning around them within a cloud of resentful aura, illustrating how they are currently perceived in the café by the other patrons.

LEGOSI: "People are always quick to assume the worst from us, and now that one of us has actually hurt you, it's hard for the other ones here to get the idea of us eating you out of their head."

Haru turns to Legosi. She has gone from being upset, to angry.

HARU: "But it was just a stupid accident!"

Legosi acknowledges this with a nod and a melancholic expression.

LEGOSI: "There are no accidents, not with carnivores. That's what they think."

He sighs.

LEGOSI: "That's what they always think, and we're always supposed to feel bad about it, even if it isn't true. That's the reason behind our... Overabundant sense of guilt."

Haru stares at Legosi, looking very sad for a few seconds. She then groans with a voice that sound so frustrated, deep and rough that it might as well have come from some wrath-filled creature from the darkest pits of hell.

HARU: "Son of a BITCH!"

The sound hilariously catches Legosi off his guard. Haru then swiftly turns and hits the crane machine with her fist. She leans forward, her forehead resting against the glass. Her eyes focus in on the Danny-doll; the orange feline sitting in there like an unattainable object of desire.

HARU: "It pisses me off. And as a cherry on top of the situation, why must that darn cat mock me..!?"

Legosi puts a hand on her head and scratches it affectionately.

LEGOSI: "There, there...!"

HARU: "So what are we supposed to do?"

LEGOSI: "Buy the doll online?"

Haru backs away from the machine and turns to Legosi.

HARU: "No... I mean about the atmosphere. What can we do about it?"

LEGOSI: "I am not sure whether there is anything we can do.... I guess we could go to another place."

This makes Haru's ears twitch in annoyance.

HARU: "No way! You guys rented a table, we have as much right to be here as any other paying customer."

Haru seems to ponder hard about what to do.

HARU: (The issue is fear and ignorance... How does one deal with silent fear and ignorance withpout causing a scene?)

Thinking about this, she then looks like she realizes something and turns to Legosi with an apologetic look.

HARU: "I am sorry about what I said about canines and guilt. That was very speciest of me."

Legosi shrugs.

LEGOSI: "It's alright, you didn't know better. Also, you should probably stay away from the word 'bitch'. That's kind of an offensive therm for us..."

Then, all of a sudden, a light bulb appears above Haru's head. Meanwhile, Legosi's stomach begins to grumble.

HARU: "Hey... You just gave me an idea."

LEGOSI: "Good. Could we get something to eat while you explain it to me?" ---

We skip ahead for a bit. We see that at their reserved table, each of the 701s have individual trays with food in front of them. Durham is continuously dipping a wafer into his cup of coffee with a vacant look in his eyes.

DURHAM: "This is unbearable. First impressions are everything, and now I've turned this game night into a stare off..!"

Jack, who is eating an English muffin whilst carefully wiping the crumbs from it into a napkin, gives the coyote a tired look.

JACK: "You should try and cheer up, you know, for her sake. She probably doesn't understand the situation."

It is about then that Haru return to the table with her own tray. Sliding the tray up on the table (which has a carrot cake, a cup of black coffee and a small bag of sugar cubes on it), she then hops up on the sofa and scooches in next to Miguno, who straightens up with a nervous look as she gets close. She doesn't appear to notice this though and looks around with a friendly face.

HARU: "What are you guys talking about?"

DURHAM: "Oh... Nothing."

Durham's eyes go directly to Haru's ears, taking notice of their reddish tint.

DURHAM: "... You're sure that you're alright?"

Haru looks a bit annoyed. She proceeds to rip open the little bag with the sugar cubes, making them fall out on her tray.

HARU: "I told you, I'm fine. You don't have to keep apologizing when it was just an accident."

Durham nods, but still look quite guilty. A hand lands on his shoulder. He looks up and sees that it is Legosi, who is giving him a look that appears to say 'it's okay.' This seems to calm Durham's conscience a bit. We then hear Collot growling at Durham.

COLLOT: "You should apologize to me too...!"

We then see that Collot has ordered a very large glass of ice tea, which he has positioned between his legs.

COLLOT: "Or at least pay for the damn tea. I'm not even an ice tea kind of guy...!"

Durham raises an eyebrow and stares at Collot with an unsympathetic eye. Meanwhile, Legosi sits down next to Haru. We see that his tray has a latte and a pound cake on it.

DURHAM: "Just consider it a bad case of karma for something you've done and gotten away with."

Haru sweat drops at this.

HARU: "Actually, I should be apologizing for that one... I am sorry that I bust a nut."

All the boys give her a weirded out looks. Realizing what she just said, she blushes and looks embarrassed.

HARU: "Okay, lousy choice of words, but you get what I'm saying, right?"

Collot gives her a little nod and smile, showing that he is not holding any grudge. Haru sighs.

HARU: "My karma must be wicked bad. First the crane robbed me, and now I put my foot in my mouth...!"

Voss, who has been busy gorging on a piece of blueberry pie, looks up from his plate.

VOSS: "No disrespect, but I don't think a crane machine is such good indicator to the legitimacy of karma, cause in that case everyone who has played it must've been real ass... ASSemblings of bad actions. I mean when did 'Cat's Don't Dance' come out? Twenty years ago? I bet the owner have to take those plushies out every weekend just to remove the cobwebs."

JACK: "Actually, there is some scientific legitimacy to karma."

Now everyone turns to look at Jack.

JACK: "Not that one can actually collect supernatural points that will determine what you're reborn as. I mean, if you see karma as an outcome of action, one should remember the third law of motion: for every action, there is an equivalent and opposite reaction... Meaning that good actions will affect your odds favorably, just as how bad actions can come back to bite you, sometimes when you least expect it."

Collot huffs at this, lifting the iceatea off his crotch and putting it on the table in front of him.

COLLOT: "Whatever you say Earl."

Taking a sip from the tea through a long straw, his face lights up a bit.

COLLOT: "Mmm... Its actually pretty good!"

Haru and Legosi share a look. He nods, prompting her to clear her throat, which directs the 701s collective attention towards her.

HARU: "Excuse me, I was just wondering... Do you guys have any questions about me and Legosi?"

This question catches the boys off guard. They all look a little uncertain.

HARU: "It's okay to be curious you know, I mean you gotta wonder how it works."

MIGUNO: "You mean... It's okay to ask questions?"

Legosi nods.

LEGOSI: "Well to be honest it would be nice if more people asked questions about us."

Haru takes the sugar cubes up from her tray and puts them into her coffee. She then proceeds to stir it with a spoon.

HARU: "Most people seem scared to ask, or maybe they're afraid of the answers."

DURHAM: "So it's really okay?"

Haru takes her spoon up and points it at Durham.

HARU: "As long as it's not too personal."

Miguno leans forward, looking at her and Legosi eagerly.

MIGUNO: "Okay... Um, stop me if I overstep any boundaries, but what do your families think?"

Haru takes a sip from her coffee.

HARU: "They all like Legosi, but I don't think they quite get that he's my boyfriend."

LEGOSI: "Actually, your dad knows."

Haru looks surprised by this, and she puts the cup down.

HARU: "He does?"

LEGOSI: "I told him when he gave me a ride home the first time I had dinner at your parents house."

HARU: "Really? Huh."

JACK: "What about Gosha?"

Legosi meets Jack's look.

LEGOSI: "He knows, but we haven't really had a chance to set up a formal meeting. Things have been pretty hectic since last Rexmas, with my job, his job and Haru's studies, so finding a date that works for all three of us have been pretty difficult."

HARU: "Golden week is soon. How about then?"

Legosi look at Haru with uncertainty.

LEGOSI: "I am not sure. A lot of people order udon during golden week... I'll have to talk about it with my boss before I can say for sure."

A little vein pops on Haru's head; she gives his arm an annoyed little poke.

HARU: "Considering you almost never take any time off, even during the holidays, he should give you a break...!"

JACK: "I have a question."

Jack stares at the two with a quizzical expression.

JACK: "How did you guys meet?"

Haru and Legosi look comically stunned... Like how are they supposed to explain all the bizarre details of how they got together without freaking everyone out?

HARU: "Uh... Well we actually came across each other one night, but we didn't really say hello to one another...!"

LEGOSI: "Y-yeah, we didn't really have a proper meeting until I went to the gardening club to ask for some plants for the drama club to borrow."

The 701s listen to this (very censored) re-telling with interest.

HARU: "Then we kind of met back and forth during the preparation for the meteor fest. It was a rocky time for both of us, during which we got close and... Well..."

Putting her hand on Legosi's, Haru gives him a tender look.

HARU: "Things has just continued to develop since then."

Legosi responds with a tender look of his own, and puts his other hand over hers. Seeing this, the 701s look touched. Durham even lets out an effeminate sigh. Strangely enough though, Jack doesn't seem to share the same sentiment as his friends, having a rather neutral expression on his face instead.

DURHAM: "Did he go after you or did you go after him?"

Haru awkwardly thinks back to when Legosi almost ate her in their first meeting, while Legosi simultaneously thinks back to when tried to have sex with him in the storage room of the gardening club. They both look a little awkward about this and reply with deadpan voices:

HARU & LEGOSI: "Both."

Haru then points a finger at Legosi.

HARU: "Though I'd have to say he made the first move."

Legosi blinks and gives her an odd look.

LEGOSI: "Are you kidding? You totally came onto me first."

Haru looks at him in an argumentative way.

HARU: "No way... It was you who started it."

LEGOSI: "Did not."

HARU: "Did too."

The boys stare at them as this interaction takes place with amused expressions.

LEGOSI: "Nuh-uh!"

HARU: "Yuh-uh!"

Haru takes a bite out her carrot cake with a stubborn look.

HARU: "Whatever, I know I'm right though... Mmm, a little dry...!"

Legosi look a little annoyed, and he begins to eat from his pound cake.

VOSS, COLLOT, DURHAM, MIGUNO & JACK: (What is this? Elementary school?)

HARU: "Anything else you wonder about?"

Voss then holds his hand up, like a little kid in class.

VOSS: "Me-me-me! I'm next! I'm next!"

HARU: "Shoot."

Haru takes her cup and takes a little sip of her coffee.

VOSS: "What is the sex like?"

Legosi's eyes bulge open and he bites down hard on his spoonful of pound cake. Haru chokes on her coffee, Jack facepalms and the other 701s stare at the fennec in a scolding manner. Even some of the other patrons (who appears to have listened in on the group's dialogue) look uncomfortable.

JACK: "Idiot...!"

Voss on the other hand look adorably clueless.

VOSS: "What? Was that too personal?"

Legosi opens his mouth. We see that he bit down of the spoon so hard that it is now bent out of shape... And with Legosi's set of false teeth attached to it.

LEGOSI: "Of coff itf too peffonal! What could poffibly be-"

Legosi then notices that his dentures are missing. He looks down, pulls them off the spoon and puts them back into his mouth. The boys look stunned and confused by the reveal that Legosi now wear dentures, while Haru can't help but to give off a little laugh at the slapstick-esque situation. With his teeth back in place, Legosi gives Voss a stern look and finishes his sentence.

LEGOSI: "- more personal?"

HARU: "I have to agreed, that is too personal." (I mean we haven't even...!)

Voss is visibly amused by all their reactions.

VOSS: "Yeah-yeah, I know. Honestly I just wanted to see your reactions!"

He then gives Haru a more serious look.

VOSS: "Serious question though, from one small mammal to the next: How do you deal with the size-difference? Like, when you're hanging out and stuff?"

Haru seems to think about this as she wipes some coffee stains off the corners of her mouth with a napkin.

HARU: "That was mostly a problem in the beginning... I mean I am a bit self-conscious about my size, and when I first started being with Legosi, I felt constantly reminded of it. But now I don't think about it as much."

She pats at the backpack which she is seated on.

HARU: "I mean we find ways to make it work, with him bringing a backpack when we eat out so that we can sit at the same table, and I got him a pair of big chopsticks whenever we stay at home to eat together."

VOSS: "Do you ride him?"

This question causes another wave of extreme reactions across the café. Legosi now look angry and embarrassed.

LEGOSI: "VOSS!"

Voss rolls his eyes at all of this.

VOSS: "I meant non-sexually you dirty-minded doof! Like how I ride Collot or Durham when we're up and about!"

The fennec points his thumb at Collot. Both Haru and Legosi sweat drops at the idea of them doing this.

HARU: "No... No offense, but I think that would be weird."

Voss points at her with his own, blueberry-stained spoon.

VOSS: "That's what I used to think, but it actually makes you feel surprisingly empowered. I mean the view is great, you don't have to worry about anybody stepping on you or knocking you down. And on top of that, it's like you're piloting your own, giant furry MECHA!"

Hearing this, Collot turns and gives his small friend a look.

COLLOT: "Is that why you hum Cruel Angel's Thesis whenever we're walking through the school halls?"

VOSS: "Maybe."

COLLOT: "Nerd."

Voss glares at him.

VOSS: "Oh yeah? Get fu... STUFFED!"

The 701s all turn to stare at the fennec.

DURHAM: "... Fu-stuffed? You know, now that I think about it, you've been awfully reserved with your vocab tonight Voss.

MIGUNO: "Yeah, most of the time you're like a little Chucky-doll."

Collot puts two fingers on Voss forehead, checking the fennec's temperature.

COLLOT: "Are you ill or something?"

Voss look annoyed and pushes Collot's fingers with his hands.

VOSS: "I am fine!"

Voss then looks away with a pair of puffed up cheeks.

VOSS: "I just don't think it'd be appropriate when there's a lady present..!"

The group at first look stunned by this. Then they all go "aaaawww" and lean in towards the embarrassed-looking fennec. Haru even finds it so cute that she holds her hand over her heart.

VOSS: "SHADDUP!"

Looking at the group around her as they make fun off the fennec fox, Haru then stares at Durham, who does not look the least bit depressed anymore.

HARU: (To think a mood can change so drastically... )

She shares a look with Legosi, who gives her an approving smile.

HARU: (... when you know a little better)

LEGOSI: "Hey, is anybody up for a game of Hungry-Hungry Wolf?" ---

We see a compilation of Haru, Legosi and the guys getting back to playing multiple games across the passage of time: These include Haru, Legosi, Durham and Miguno playing Hungry-Hungry Wolf, using large, plastic wolf heads to eat as many of the little red marbles as possible. After this they play Whodunnit, where Jack seems to have come to the conclusion that it is Captain Mustard who murdered the victim in the kitchen with a flatiron. Then, finally, we see Haru and Voss play a tug of war with a rope in their mouths (the same game played by Legosi and Bill during the Riz-arc) while the others cheer them on. ---

Later, we see Collot and Legosi competing against each other at the Whack-the-Weevil machine, furiously beating the the artificial bugs that go up and down from the holes while collecting points on a scoreboard each. Completing the round, Collot does a victory-pose while Legosi looks like he's out of breath.

COLLOT: "And the title of district weevil-swatting champ goes to..."

He points at Durham, Voss (who is currently sitting on Durham's head) and Miguno, who un-enthusiastically complete Collot's sentence.

VOSS, MIGUNO & DURHAM: "Collot, the sultan of swat...!"

Collot proceeds to make audience sound effects in a boastful fashion, while Haru puts her hands on her hips and gives Legosi a confounded look.

HARU: "Are you tired or something? I mean I've seen you at full speed, you could've totally beat him!"

Legosi, who has his hand over his stomach, looks like he is in some pain.

LEGOSI: "It's probably because I need to got the bathroom... I'll see you guys in a minute."

Legosi walks off to the bathroom, Haru and the guys following him with their eyes as he leaves. Collot begins to eagerly rub his hands.

COLLOT: "Very well then, who'll be the next victim? Haru?"

HARU: "No thanks, I am still tuckered out from the tug of war...!"

Hearing this, Collot turns to Durham instead.

COLLOT: "How about you then Durham? Get over here!"

Haru looks around, and then notices that Jack is sitting by himself at their table, looking though his phone. She walks over, hops up on a seat opposite him. He looks up at her.

JACK: "Just looking through my schedule for the next week. Did you want something?"

Haru pulls up a coin from her pocket and places it on the table, she then leans forward and gives the labrador a curious look.

HARU: "Penny for your thoughts."

JACK: "Don't worry about it, my thoughts are free."

HARU: "I am just a little curious. We haven't really talked a lot this evening and... Well, you are Legosi's oldest friend, aren't you?"

Jack nods and looks down at his phone again.

JACK: "That is correct."

HARU: "Meaning that me coming into his life was either the biggest or the smallest surprise to you."

Swiping through a schedule on his phone, the labrador doesn't look up as he replies.

JACK: "Probably the biggest."

HARU: "Is that why you don't like me?"

Jack looks up from his phone with a shocked expression.

JACK: "I... Why would I- Why would you think I don't like you?"

HARU: "Just a feeling. Back when when we talked about how we met, you could probably tell that we skipped over quite a few things. Things that were not very pleasant. Also, when I asked if it was true whether you were the smartest guy at school like Legosi thought, you acted like it wasn't a good thing."

Haru looks over to the rest of the 701s. They are enjoying their game of Whack-the-Weevil, unaware of the serious conversation taking place.

HARU: "This is just me guessing, but you probably consider it a burden rather than a strength, because it forces you to see the whole picture of something."

She looks down.

HARU: "Meaning you can see what an effect that our relationship will most likely have on our lives. You want to be happy for Legosi, but it's hard when you're certain that he most likely won't have a happy life with me..."

Looking at her, Jack's expression gets increasingly sadder as she continues to talk.

HARU: "I doubt I am as smart as you, but I am a realist. I know what it means for Legosi to be in love with a herbivore, and I wouldn't be surprised if you hate me because of that."

JACK: "I don't hate you!"

Haru meet Jack's look, which is a bit on the shocked side because of Haru's observation.

JACK: "It's just that... Well, it's complicated... And a bit selfish actually." ---

Entering a flashback, we see Jack's collective memories of Legosi from his childhood.

JACK: "We've been like peas and carrots since kindergarten. We've gone through basically every tough thing and fun activity together, outside and inside school. I... Well I guess with him, I eventually came to believe it would be like that through Cherryton, then through university and then through... Everything really. Always."

He thinks to back to his first meeting with Legosi in kindergarden, then playing in the sandbox together, him comforting Legosi at his mother's funeral and then finally attending Cherryton together. ---

Returning to the present, Jack looks depressed.

JACK: "But he chose you. He's not the kind of person to abandon someone, but still, after he met you, he's just drifted further and further away."

Haru stares at Jack with a knitted brow.

HARU: "... Y-You wouldn't happen to be in love with him?"

Jack looks up, looking kind of disturbed by that thought.

JACK: "It's not like that. For most of my life I've relied on him to feel strong... And now that he is living his own life, I've come to realize just how weak I feel without him."

He sighs and gives her a serious look.

JACK: "So no... I don't hate you. I am just jealous of you."

Haru looks skeptical.

HARU: "And you're sure you're not in love with him?"

Jack's face twists into an irritated grimace.

JACK: "Don't be ridiculous, I like girls!"

HARU: "Yeah-yeah, I was just kidding."

She then transitions to a more serious expression.

HARU: "Believe it or not, but I understand how you feel. This relationship has not been easy to keep going, especially not since we both left Cherryton." ---

We enter an illustrated train of thought in Haru's mind, where we see Legosi from the back as he is walking straight into a vast darkness ahead of him.

HARU: "It's frustrating... That feeling that he keeps going to places where you can't follow him, followed by that fear that one of these days, he won't come back...!"

In this domain of thoughts, Haru tries to follow Legosi into the darkness. But as they move further in, Legosi becomes one with the darkness and disappears, while Haru is left alone in the dark. ---

Back to reality, Haru gives Jack a melancholic smile.

HARU: "It's a hard thing to confess to, both as a female and as a herbivore that you actually need someone."

She leans forward against the table, her chin in her hands. Her eyes go tender.

HARU: "But at the same time... When I am with him, I feel neither scared or sad. What people think, the risks, all the realistic and horrible things that might happen, even my pride... All of that just go straight out the window."

She looks up at Jack, a great smile on her lips now.

HARU: "So I'd say I have grown dependent on him too."

Jack looks stunned; he never would have guessed that her feeling for Legosi were so similar to his.

JACK: "I really am happy for him though, and I am happy that you make him happy."

Haru meets his look.

HARU: "So... It's not impossible for us to get along?"

JACK: "Well the parameters certainly argue against the improbability."

Haru stares at him. Jack looks a little self-conscious about his convoluted phrasing.

JACK: "That means-"

HARU: "That it is not impossible."

The two are quiet for a few seconds, then they share a little laugh.

HARU: "Speaking of improbability, what are you thoughts on that?"

She nods towards the Treasure Trove crane. Looking at it, Jack cocks an eyebrow.

JACK: "Well, research does indicate that one in fifteen people can win a prize from them."

HARU: "Really?"

She hops down from her seat with a convicted look.

HARU: "Sounds like good enough odds to me!"

She proceeds to go over to the machine and puts the coin in. The machine plays the melody and blinks again. Haru grabs the joystick and aims for the Danny-plush again.

JACK: "Wait a minute!"

Jack walks over and crouches next to Haru, looking in through the display glass.

JACK: "If I were you, I would try to go in just a little further in from where you have it now..."

Haru looks back and forth between Jack and the machine. She looks doubtful.

HARU: "But then I'll miss the head..."

JACK: "Trust me."

Doing as he suggests, Haru moves the claw in just a little bit more before pressing the button and making the claw go down. As Haru predicted, it misses the plushies head and goes behind the doll instead. Haru does not look surprised.

HARU: "Knew it."

But as the claw goes up, she sees to her great surprise that the plush follows it all the way up. It turns out that while the claw missed the the head, it did get a grip of the plushies tail.

HARU: "...!"

JACK: "See?"

Getting a really focused expression, Haru gently pulls the joystick to the left, goading the claw back to the deposit-hole.

JACK: "Careful now... Steady...!"

Once there, she presses the button again. The claw opens and drops the plush down the hole successfully. Both she and Jack looks overjoyed and victorious.

JACK: "Ah!

HARU: "YES!"

Haru pulls the plush out of the hatch and looks at it with stars in her eyes. She then turns to Jack, looking all impressed.

HARU: "I can't believe it! How on Earth did you do that?!"

Jack rubs the back of his neck.

JACK: "It was just a well-educated deduction. I mean the head is covered in fake fur, which is why the claws keep sliding off it as it deals with the full weight of the doll. The tail on the other hand is made of a less slippery fabric."

Stars appear in Haru's eyes.

HARU: "Wow... You're like Sherlock Hound!"

Jack gives her a surprised look.

JACK: "You know about Sherlock Hound?"

HARU: "Know about it? I watch that show anytime it's on! I especially love Moriarty and his bumbling sidekicks."

Jack, looking happy over the fact that they have found a common ground with something and goes full fanboy on the subject.

JACK: "Yeah I know, they're hilarious! And Mrs. Hudson!"

Haru nods with a knowing expression.

HARU: "I know right...! Personally, I think the show is really underappreciated."

JACK: "I think it's really underappreciated too!"

Haru then takes another look at her newly acquired Danny-doll, looking really happy. But then she gets an uncertain expression and looks up at Jack.

HARU: "But what should we do? By right half the plush should be yours..."

Jack chuckles.

JACK: "I am not really a plushie kind of guy, you can have it. Besides, it was your coin."

To his great surprise, Haru then hugs him around his neck. He looks stunned by this.

HARU: "Thank you."

She then lets go to look down at down at the plushie again. She playfully makes the doll dance while humming 'Nothing's Going to Stop Us Now.' Jack still look stunned and has a noticeable shade of red on his face.

JACK: (That was the first time ever a herbivore gave me a hug..!)

HARU: "We gotta show this to the guys! They'll be so impressed!"

Jack smiles and points over his shoulder with his thumb.

JACK: "I'll fetch them so that you can surprise them."

HARU: "Great idea!"

Jack gets up and proceeds to walk over to where the rest of the 701s are. As he goes, Haru begins to play with plushie again with a happy expression.

HARU: "~Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now!"

???: "Well-well, look who it is."

Haru's happy expression dies in an instant. She looks around, seeing three familiar figures from her past: Mizuchi the harlequin rabbit and her two friends. Her former bullies.

TO BE CONTINUED...! ---

#beastars #fanfiction #script style #haru #jack #durham #collot #voss #legosi #ship #everybody play the game #jcl #2020 #dwarf rabbit #spotted hyena #sheephound #fennec fox #grey wolf

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overplannedbutunnamednpc · 4 years

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Jaded, Magic, Offspring, Vice for the alphabet one ... any characters you think are tasty but I would like to request that at least one be for Zephyr for development reasons (bonus if u want to make that be magic and talk abt her feelings on dunemancy as a controlled magic)

i’ll do all four for zephyr and also roll for others bc hehehe.........

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard? Zephyr: not really??? I think growing up as an urchin kind of fucked that up even if she otherwise would. like, I’m sure the ideal in the kryn dynasty is what like. tbq and her wife have, with multiple lives and loving them through every one of them. but like. A) zephyr ain’t consecuted even if she says she is and B) she loves gent but that’s honestly probably her first real relationship and she kind of already knows that won’t end with a happily ever after because. she’s gonna still be in her elf twenties when gent dies. like, zephyrs actually kinda practical about this. she’s not gonna get a happily ever after with gent! she’s kinda accepted that even if she really doesn’t Like it. (and I’m very sad about it but that’s another post, elf lifetime meta included, if you want it). that said! she doesn’t think she won’t be happy! just that she’s smart enough to know that her relationships, such as they are, Will likely end in some pain for her, especially considering all the shit that comes along with a society with consecution. PC: Legacy - like. no? it feels ... cheap to her, I think. maybe it’s just me morgan not really believing in that stuff, but like. she grew up with nice parents who like. nothing was wrong with them of course! but like. she knows better, seeing them be in love with each other and fight and etc., she knows better than to think that anything could be happily ever after. she knows you gotta work at that shit, and I think she’s still figuring out how hard she’d want to work, if that makes sense. she does have a standard, though! she does want to fall in love or at least be infatuated/have someone be infatuated with her! it’s just an experience she wants. but considering her grandmother and her abilities... she kind of doubts she’ll ever be the prince OR princess in the fairytale, you know? NPC: Kiya - hh. Kiya knows better than to think happily ever after is in the cards. she’s got a pretty good thing going with MFU, she loves her employees, and I like the thot of her having a thing for one of them? but like. I’ve said it before: kiya isn’t really a ‘gets nice things for herself’ kind of person. so her standard is ‘it doesn’t happen in the first place.’ which is a little depressing, but hey! maybe she’ll be surprised.

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock? Zephyr: zephyr is a weird one because I like the idea of her being a little disbelieving that magic like. works for her, even though she’s a level 14 wizard with very specific knowledge of the arcane. I’m thinking about sir gentry and how he’s like, 50 years old by now or something. she didn’t look up the normal lifespan of a pet mouse until he was at least like. 10/15 because she just didn’t want to find out that he was about to die, and then she was kinda like ‘huh maybe... maybe he’s a magic mouse?’ (the in game explanation is that her dunamancy (time magic) is just. extending his life bc he hangs out with her and I think it’s cute and my dm loves me). but beyond that. I think it’s really fun if like. zephyr was NOT expecting to actually get into the academy? she made this whole plan expecting to at some point be found out but at least she’d have the knowledge, and then. She Wasn’t’? and she was obviously very happy that it worked!!! and I think she’s gotten more and more respect for her craft but it at least started as her going Wow alright this shit actually works? dope. now though I think she’s come to terms with it. she’s a level 14 wizard, she’s incredibly powerful really. magic for her is an extension of herself, to the point where she does it unconsciously (at least on sir gentry). she’s so skilled with dunamancy that she can just. choose to stop someone in time, five times a day. it’s exhausting, but she can just force a timeline on someone and have them be none the wiser. she’s Powerful, yo. and a lot of that power comes from sheer comfort with the subject, I think! I like that idea. PC: Zier - zier i think is very funny for this question because he like. JUST became a sorcerer and then levelled up super quickly in the span of like three or four months. but like. fundamentally, what happened was: 1. he ran away and got kidnapped and experimented on 2. he got away Somehow 3. he did magic at a giant spider 4. he ended up in another continent. so I think for him, it was surprising at first and he very much doesn’t know shit fuck all about magic, but he’s a noble boy through and through, and thus very quickly went “yeah i’m magical that fucks majorly because I fuck majorly.” it was basically him coming to terms with this new thing very quickly because he’s a bitch who likes the power. NPC: Coriander - coriander is the epitome of “is incredibly comfortable with magic.” for her, magic is essentially an assistive technology! she has darling who is basically a second pair of arms, legs, and an extra 8 feet of height so she can keep up with their partner and children who are much taller than she is. but I think a lot of the tech she develops is assistive or transportive in some way. coriander likes exploding things, but that’s more of a hobby. her actual magic works more like tech, and she treats it like a science.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple? Zephyr: much to think about.............. if she had kids I think she’d like multiple! she grew up completely alone so I think she’d want any kids to have siblings. as a parent I think she’d be good! i’ve been thinking about zephyr having very much Her People, who she likes, respects, and cares about to the point of fighting for and with them, and then Not Her People, who she kind of could give less of a shit about. her kids would def be Her People. she wouldn’t know exactly how to deal with them? I think for a bit there’d be a problem because she’d be stiff. she’d like her babies/kids very much! but she doesn’t know how to hold them. she doesn’t have experience talking to them. a baby cries and she tells it that theres nothing to cry over and logic at an infant doesn’t work and she goes bug eyed sasuke. but I think she’d figure it out eventually, and she’d be especially good at kids once they get to the “express their desires and disappointments in an understandable way.” perhaps she’d raise, on her own, very expressive kids because thats the only way they would be able to tell her what’s going on. PC: Sarril - :). he doesn’t know. but I think he would have been a good dad! his wife wanted multiple and so he would have had multiple, though he would have been very happy with only one. sarril was actively learning about Contact, so lots of hugs and holding for the babies and toddlers, especially with his wife and her family next to him. he’s always been a kind of calm and quiet man, and his way of showing love isn’t very Talkative, (i’ll talk about how he loves in another ask) so he’s more the dad who is At everything and is very quietly proud of everything his kid does, but unless there’s like, a crisis, he’s not likely to make it abundantly clear that he’s an adoring father. but you’d know from just like. he’s there, he’s tucking you in every night, he helps you with your homework, etc. NPC: Iris - iris wants kids SO BAD. she’d love one, she’d love multiple. part of being a part of a really terrible population crisis that may or may not be due to demonic influence, maybe, but she also just really wants kids. and she looked at cylthia and went “yeah alright we doing this?” I think iris with kids would be adoring almost to a fault. she’d LOVE those little bitches. she might spoil them rotten, but also they’d be super loved and have friends in all of glade and lent’s kids, and I think they’d eventually be cool.

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of? Zephyr: shopaholic. i think a lot of her dresses come, if not free, at least steeply discounted because maybe she’s someone’s muse or maybe she did a huge favor for a dressmaker? haven’t decided yet. but definitely a lot of her paycheck (which I imagine she does get, from freelance jobs offering her wizarding services or maybe the dynasty pays her for the small wizard jobs like lighting the streets, bringing down and putting up and keeping up the night sky over rosohna, things like that) goes to dresses and accessories. she really likes spending money, and doesn’t mind so much about having it. I don’t think she’s ashamed of it, exactly? it’s her money, she’s spending it on things she likes. but it is probably indicative of Something. PC: Kenny - has a bad habit of being beholden to a god of fire who wants him to betray his friends. nah i think he’s got a bad habit of like now, scratching/rubbing soot off of himself. shit like that, where it’s a stimmy way of trying to get the ashen wolf’s influence off of him. he’s probably ashamed of it a little? because it’s the ashen wolf? but idk if it’s even really noticeable to others so that takes away a lot of the shame of it. NPC: Ecstasy - bad habits. of. not sharing her fucking feelings! she says thats STINKY but it kind of just fucks her over. like tbf with raini it kind of works because if she ever said she was in l*ve with raini the wizard might hightail it out of there but like. i think after two years she might have gotten away with it and didn’t even try. and now she’s kind of paying the price because not only does raini not remember her but it also doesn’t like, matter, maybe, because the feelings were ALWAYS unarticulated? so? she’s now just ????????

#syn-odics #zephyr #legacy #human kiya #zier #coriander #sarril #iris #kenny #ecstasy #this ones a beefy boy.......#enjoy...............#as i neglect to make any coherent sentences in my rambling about my ocs..............

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musubiki · 5 years

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Whoa omg! Okay, sorry, but follow up question. When Mochi leaves, does Lime, Coco, and Oscar know why? Or is it so sudden and there's no explanation? Also, the thought of Mochi not graduating high school since she has to dip out for witch stuff kind of makes me laugh bc I can totally see Lime giving her crap for that.

ooooh they do find out why!!! (rm bc this is a bit long)

(from the way i see it in my head) its kind of sad though because when lime wakes up, shes not there. and hes used to waking up to her snuggling into his chest or something. and at first hes like “??? where did she go?” in kind of a soft, amused way, thinking she went to go make breakfast or something, but then he sees a letter on his desk from mochi.

and as soon as he reads it he jumps out of his bed and runs outside and slams the door open to her house and runs upstairs looking for her, the whole time yelling her name hoping it was some mistake or something. and then he goes into the greenhouse and finds mama tiramisu quietly and solemnly making potions.

she tells him that mochi is gone, and he IMMEDIATELY runs outside, through the town, everywhere, anywhere, somehow hoping to find her somewhere even though he knows he won't. (and hes already so deeply in love with her so this is just. depression. panic. love of his life is gone and he has no idea when or if shes ever coming back. and hes just thinking: ‘the bitch never even said bye to me??? what the fuck?? who does she think she is?? acting like this amazing beautiful wonderful person and changing my whole damn life and then just fucking leaving?? after everything we've gone through?? asshole!!’. there are tears in his eyes) and after running around LITERALLY all day, he just comes home at dusk and goes upstairs to his room. and tries to sleep but can't. because she's not there. so he just lays there and actually probably cries.

coco and oscar learn it from lime. when they go to see mochi, and when shes not there they go to HIS room like “Aaay loser whats up?? where mochi at, we were supposed to go shopping today.” and hes just. laying there across his bed with his arm over his eyes. he just mutters out a quiet “She's gone.” and coco thinks he's just being dramatic. so she kicks his foot and laughs a bit like “What, did she go grocery shopping without you or something? lol” and he doesn't respond. oscar looks around and picks up the folded paper on his desk and reads it, before nudging coco and handing it to her. and coco is in SUCH disbelief. “Hah- no. No way. No. No no, why would she leave? This is bullshit!” her voice slowly escalates to the same level of panic lime had before.

“You didn’t just BELIEVE this did you? Did you even go look for her?? Did you check the greenhouse?!” shes almost shouting, and lime just tells her he checked literally everywhere he possibly could. and he can’t access the doorways without mochi so he can’t go anywhere else to look for her, and they all just kind of stand there in silence. they're a witch's guild without a witch. they don't even know what to do or say. they've spent the last YEAR almost every day with mochi, fighting bad guys, almost getting killed, saving each other's asses, Mochis the one that opened them all up to this strange new world and now shes just. gone.

but i think when she comes back a year later, lime never really holds any resentment towards her. like. after a while, he gets it. he signed up for this when he became a member of the guild. and he gets why she had to leave and not tell him or take him with her. so when she comes back Mochi is constantly apologizing and is just rambling about why she had to go and how sorry she was and lime just. doesn't care. he doesn't give a single fuck. he is OVERFLOWING with love and happiness and relief and just pulls her into the tightest, warmest hug and holds her there for a long time while she cries into his shoulder. and somehow they bounce back into the same level of friendship they had before like no time had passed. they would be 18 after the timeskip

#xsamuraisamax #ask #i guess tumblr is broken again cuz i keep tryna put a read more but ti wont work sorry folks #long post #bpp #bullet point posts

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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601

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Gabie and my dad are the only ones who can hold my hand. I feel uncomfortable when others do it, even if in a platonic sense. What was the last thing you paid for? I needed a quick lunch to get me by before my exam, so I had instant noodles and kwek-kwek. Has anyone ever told you that you were their best friend? Yes. What's your favorite thing you own? I like my phone because I can use it for almost everything. Can you recite all the lyrics to your favorite song? I don’t have an all-time favorite song but I do memorize the lyrics to a lot of songs that I like.

Who made you laugh the hardest today? I didn’t really laugh today other than towards Gab sending me a meme. Would you sing in front of a large crowd? No. Have you ever jumped out of a moving car? No but I’ve thought about it, lol. Do you prefer chocolate ice cream? I’d have it if it was the only flavor around, but it’s not really my first choice. Can you speak any other languages? Filed under: questions on *almost* every survey. Yes, I learned Filipino before mastering English. Have you ever heard of the band The Cliques? Yes, keywords here being heard of. I haven’t heard any of their material. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? I had a crucial exam this morning that I only got to study for yesterday, so I really had to go all out. I only had five hours of sleep last night. Have you done your homework yet? I’m done with all my homework because I just finished my last requirement (a final exam) for this semester :) Time to be depressed this Christmas and disappear in my survey hole for the next two weeks. Did you get hurt today? Yes, my toothache has struck once again and it’s hurting like a bitch tonight. Thankfully this survey is distracting me from how painful it actually is being right now. What's a song no one would think you'd like, but you actually love? I’m not sure about ‘no one would think you’d like’ because I don’t pay attention to what people think of my music taste lmao but I’m surprised I ended up liking everything i wanted by Billie Eilish, considering her whispering annoys me most days. Have you ever snuck out? No. My mom always goes up and down the house and occasionally checks up my room, so she’d know if I left without permission. How old were you when you got your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 16. Are you talking to anyone? If so, who? I sent a text to Gab just now but we’re not in the middle of a conversation; I was just checking in on her. Have you ever been to Florida? Nope. What is the closest thing to you that's green? Fake plant decors on our dining table. When was the last time you wore a hat? A month ago when I decided to wear a cap to school. Are you broke right now? Far from it, thankfully hahaha. I’ve gathered a lot of savings for Christmas gifts but that’s gonna disappear next week when I finally go shopping. Has anyone given you a piggyback ride today? No. I’m not one to jump on someone’s back for a ride either. When was the last time you felt absolutely happy? Maybe last Monday when I paid my girlfriend a visit. She had a rough weekend and was not talking to absolutely anybody, myself and her family included. I felt happy to improve her mood just by simply showing up. When was the last time you felt upset? Yesterday, I got unbelievably pissed at myself because I stayed at home thinking I didn’t have to go to school (because I was done with almost all requirements) – I HAD A REPORT SLATED FOR YESTERDAY that I completely forgot about. I have never missed a single goddamn report in my whole time in college until then. Thankfully it’s a very chill class and it’s a group report, so my groupmates covered for me; but I definitely made sure I PM’d them individually and apologized profusely. How did you react when your first pet died? I wasn’t too attached to my first goldfish, so I was sad about it when he died but I wasn’t too distraught either. Have you ever drawn anime? No. If you had to give up everything for someone, would you? Probably not. What do you hear right now? I’m listening to a lo-fi playlist on Spotify. Do you feel alone right now? Nope. I just feel SHITTY because of this TOOTHACHE Have you ever told someone that you loved that you hated them? Never. Hate is a strong word. I don’t want to inflict something temporary onto someone important to me, because I’ll regret it immediately after and for the rest of my life. What are you looking forward to? This toothache going away, and for the rest of my Christmas break. I’ve never been more happy about a semester ending – this last one shook up my mental health so bad lmfao. When does your school let out for summer break? It’s either the third or the last week of May. Have you ever played Bingo? Yes. I remember one of my grand-aunts hosting A LOT of bingo parties at her place, and my 8 year old self would join her and her amigas not knowing it was already a form of gambling. I just joined because it won me some money haha. Can you use a pogo stick? No. I’ve always wanted to try it, but I’ve never even seen a real-life one. When's the next time you'll see the person that you like? I have no clue. Saturday seems slim cos we both have our respective Christmas parties, so I may just opt to see her next week when we go gift shopping. Do you currently want something? If so, what? If the theme for this survey still isn’t reiterated enough, it’s for this toothache to go away. Have you ever skinny dipped? No. Not really the sort of thing I’d do. What are you looking forward to most this summer? Graduating and getting whatever graduation gift I get, if any. And finally coming out to my parents. Can you draw well? Nope. Do you like bathing/showering? Only if it gets very hot/humid or when I feel dirty. Otherwise I get lazy. How do you feel about today? it was uneventful. I just went to school this morning to take my final exam for two hours, drove back home, slept all afternoon, and now I’m taking this survey. Maybe I’ll watch Friends after. What would you change about yourself? My confidence, and my lack thereof. What was the last thing you had to drink? Chocolate con nueces from our local bakery.

Who's closest to you, where you are? My sister and her boyfriend are chilling in the living room where he’s playing the PS4. Have you ever stolen something from a department store? No. Have you ever jumped off your roof? No, but [trigger warning: suicide] I’ve looked down at the ground from our rooftop thinking if I’d survive the jump. When was the last time you wanted to scream? Earlier this morning dealing with stupid drivers. Are you honest? I try to be. When was the last time you cried? If I remember it correctly, Friday or Saturday evening. I missed Nacho so I decided to talk to him. Can you play the violin? Haha, no and the few times I tried it I was atrocious. It’s a beautiful instrument. Have you ever considered entering a race? No. I don’t have the stamina and endurance for it. Are you listening to music right now? Yep. What's the nicest thing someone said to you today? My classmate said she was happy she met me in our class. Who said it? Gia, from my Contemporary Philippines class. If someone asked you to get them a soda right now, would you? If it was Gab, then yes I’d drive all the way there to get her a can of soda because I miss her hahahaha. I probably wouldn’t do it for anyone else. Have you ever broken a bone? I have not. Do you have a middle name? Yes. When was the last time you went on vacation? August. Do you truly love anyone? I truly love a lot of people.

#survey #surveys

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queerlyglittering · 5 years

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LETTER BOY UPDATE

ok! This is long overdue lmao. but until the other day I was feeling a bit mopey and sad and also just generally tired and didn’t wanna talk about it BUT THEN E X T R E M E L Y LONG POST AHEAD

so lemme see where I last left off re: Letter Boy.... ok so like, to recap: there for a while we’d barely been talking. He didn’t have time to write to me most of the time, and then half the time when we did write to each other our letters kept getting lost in the mail, etc etc. I know I’d been like pretty obsessive over the whole letter-writing thing for a while so I thought I’d been pushing him away and like at one point I wrote him a goodbye letter? Like I was really out here like “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much, I’ll leave you alone now” like what sort of passive-aggressive bitchy monster lmao. And then eventually I was like nah fuck that, that’s not ok and I’m not leaving things like that, so I wrote him an apology and we kinda got back to talking a bit. And then he finally wrote me back! And his letter was deeply personal and emotional and I cried! He came out as ace! He told me he loved me! The absolute drama of it all! (Which it turns out, at that point he didn’t mean it in terms of like, romantic love, just like... he really cared about me as a person and was glad that he felt comfortable to write about his experiences re: being ace to me and it was sort of cathartic. BUT THEN!) So I wrote back almost immediately, telling him that I loved him too and that he was valid and shit lmao. That was all back in late May/early June I think... tbh I don’t remember what happened over the summer, lemme go back and reread our messages? b/c I know neither of us has physically written to the other since then. Ok so we messaged a bit about potentially meeting up at a Pride festival, either there in Houston or up in Dallas, but the timing just generally didn’t work out in our favor for either event, so we wound up not going. And then we kinda sporadically messaged each other here and there, usually when he was stressed with school or I was stressed with work, etc, but we barely talked off and on for a couple months. Then I started my current job, and my sleep cycle got outta whack for a few weeks, and that’s when things started to get interesting again lmao

ok so sometime near the end of August, he had like a minor depressive episode or something in the middle of the night and messaged me at like 4 am saying he felt “gross and sad” and I slept through that because it was Saturday but I wound up waking up at like 6:30 out of habit from getting up for work, and I ended up calling him and we talked for a while and I vented about some stuff in my life too and then we both went back to sleep lmao. And after that things got a little more active in terms of communication; like y’all know me, I’m a Needy Bitch, so of course I wound up messaging him like once every couple days or so whenever I started to miss him and needed Attention. Like it kinda started with a tarot reading I got, just a standard past/present/future 3-card reading, but she pulled the Lovers for my present, so I mean.... and basically she said something about there being a person in my life whom I had feelings for, and who reciprocated those feelings, but there was a communications disconnect, and the relationship was getting to a point where it could begin to go stale, and that we shouldn’t block ourselves off from progress. After that reading I reached out and messaged him again, and we ended up literally speaking every day for a week. Like I think I’d made a post about that on here about not messaging him for the 8th day in a row and thought I was exaggerating but then I went back and counted and IT ACTUALLY WAS THE 8TH DAY, WOW AUDREY, YOU’RE OFFICIALLY ANNOYING. So I tried to get better about leaving him alone lmao but I started messaging him a bunch of stuff about my singing, because my old community had a brief resurgence in September. and he said he wanted to sing something with me someday and I’m 🥰🥰

So then at one point I had mentioned coming down to Houston for the weekend of the SFA/Sam Houston State game (which was last weekend, 10/5-6) with my friend, and ditching the game to hang out with him instead. I kinda let the subject drop for a couple weeks because at that point it was almost a month out and I wasn’t 100% sure I was gonna be able to go so I didn’t want to get both our hopes up. But then work started being really shitty and dicking me around about my schedule change that was supposed to have happened once I got out of training, and my home life wasn’t gr8 either, so I kinda latched onto that weekend trip as like a bright spot, or something to hope for. Something to keep me going. And he’d basically forgotten about it, which is fine, except I wound up springing it back on him at the last minute lmao. But then my friend who I was supposed to go with (because I can’t drive so she was gonna drive us down there) was like ‘nah I’m not going to the game, I have no money for tickets.’ So I was like well shit, there goes my happy thing. And I talked to her about it and basically begged her to just go down to Houston for the weekend anyway, I’d get us a hotel and everything, because I needed this. So she was like ‘alright, look at hotels.’ But then HER friend got very sick, like in-the-hospital having-mysterious-seizures sick, and she went to go stay with her in the hospital for a few days because the girl’s husband was being a dick about it (it turned out to just be an infection from a contact lens that got stuck in her eye and like melted??? idk. but it was BAD AND SCARY). But that was like Wednesday-Friday of the week we were supposed to go to Houston on that weekend and I wasn’t sure she’d be up to going. So I asked last minute if she still wanted to go or if I should cancel the hotel (not realizing that it was too late to cancel it anyway lmao RIP) and she said ‘ok sure but I wanna bring my kid, since I’ve been away from her for 3 whole days.’ I was like that’s fine, I already thought you were gonna bring her lol. So we wound up going down there on Saturday but we left a bit later than we’d meant to, and by the time we got to town, Letter Boy was already at work. So I missed him that day. The three of us (me, friend & kiddo) wound up swimming in the hotel pool and then ordering Chinese takeout for dinner so that was pretty fun.

Then the next day, Sunday! Letter Boy called as we were checking out of the hotel to try and figure out what the plan was, where we could meet up, etc. We decided to meet at the mall nearby, since it was an easy landmark for all parties, and we could find each other pretty easily there. He took me (and my friend and her kid, though apparently that wasn’t the plan, and he would’ve preferred to spend time with just me; she even gave me the option to not have the two of them meet us at the restaurant and I decided not to take it because i was a nervous anxious coward lmao) out to lunch at this Korean place in town, where he loves to eat. We played a few rounds of a card game and talked and ate and it was great fun. Then he had to bail and go to work, and we had an interesting goodbye because I’d been out here trying to respect his personal space and all because from what he’d said in his coming-out letter, it sounded very much like he was touch-averse - but then he hugged me goodbye? and kept coming back for more hugs?! like “one more? ok just one more? and one more?” like nonstop for a good five minutes lmao. I was a bit confused but I loved it (my primary love language is physical touch; hugs are my kryptonite. And he gives AMAZING hugs. like I may have even actually dreamed about his hugs before I ever got to experience one, but that’s whole other post lol). Anyway so after that my friend and I went to hang out at her brother’s in-laws’ place because they lived in the area lol. Letter Boy had asked me to message him once I got there, so I did. I told him I wished I could’ve spent more time with him one-on-one, and he said “well if you’re still in town maybe you can sneak away when I get my break later” So I basically said hell yes, just tell me where to meet you, lol. We wound up meeting up at Starbucks and getting coffee and continuing to talk and hang out for the half hour of his break, and he really didn’t want to leave when it was time for him to go. Like he actually contemplated kidnapping me and bringing me to work with him lmao. If my ride hadn’t already been on her way, I would’ve gone with him in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to leave either. And he told me he loved me again! 🥰🥰🥰 It was sappy and sweet and just aghhhh <3

So that was a week ago today! And there’s been some interesting developments since then too. Starting off with that Sunday night when I got home, I’d had too much coffee (starbucks messed up my order and had to remake it so I ended up drinking both lmao, big mistake). So I was over-caffeinated and v emotional and couldn’t sleep so I started writing out all my anxious confused feelings in letter form, and wound up just linking Letter Boy to the Google Doc I’d been writing in. This was at almost 2 AM. Apparently I woke him up and he read it and replied to me over messenger and basically we talked about how like. when he first said he loved me in the letter, he didn’t necessarily mean it in a romantic context but it was definitely more than just platonic and he wasn’t sure how to quantify that. But now that we’d met in person, and got to spend some actual time together, he felt a little differently and that he was “not 100% sure but WAAAY more than 50% sure” that he loved me romantically, because partially because he’s ace, he’s just kinda unsure about romantic relationships in general and he’s reluctant to commit to them because the sex thing always becomes an issue. I reassured him that I completely understand and respect his orientation and would never ask him to change that aspect of himself or do anything that would make him uncomfortable, and he seemed immensely relieved. At this point I’m honestly not even sure how much of his feelings are genuinely for/about me, and how much of them are just some sort of general euphoria at having someone basically validate his orientation and his existence, because he’d spent so long being mocked and tormented by friends and lovers alike, and basically just feeling broken and worthless. And I completely understand that reaction. I’m not even sure I care if that’s all this is, if it comes down to it; I’m happy to be here to love and support him and make sure he never feels less than whole and valid again, no matter my context in his life. I just want him to be happy. I’d love to be the one who makes him happy, but if ultimately that is not my part in his life, then so be it. I’m at peace with it.

Anyway so that was Sunday night, we talked a little bit on Monday and Tuesday and then like,, nothing at all for a few days? And so of course my immediate instinct is that I came on too strong and pushed him away, just because he doesn’t want to talk to me every day?? so I got all mopey and sad and weird, because I thought I’d scared him off and lost him and idk. Also I was in a funk b/c my hormones are being wacky this week; I don’t really get periods per se with my IUD, but sometimes I’ll get phantom cramps and/or mood swings, etc. but this past week i’ve been spotting and cramping AND moody af, so that’s been fun. So I’d been all weird and sad and shit, and thinking he didn’t want to talk to me = he didn’t want me, and I was so paranoid and afraid because I still think this whole thing is too good to be true and I can’t trust it. I know it’s silly and far too early to be serious and it’ll never last and probably won’t end well. I know that it’s fun and easy and idealistic and won’t stand up to reality or practicality, when it eventually has to face them. So I’ve been bracing myself for that ending ever since it began. And I know three days isn’t very long, but after having a whole conversation about how we love each other, and how we love each other, it felt like an eternity. BUT THEN!!!!!!!!!

So ok, we did talk briefly on Friday, in passing. but it was a very short little conversation; the only major thing to come out of it was a further confirmation that yes, he’s serious about coming up here to see me. BUT THEN Saturday night (10/12), he got home from seeing Eric Andre perform live, and he was hanging out with his sister and drinking and generally being a goof, and he messaged me! UPDATE: It’s now sunday 10/20 and I’m still writing this. idk it’s been a lot, everything else in my life has been rough lately, idk. im not feeling as positively about this as i was before, but i’ll keep writing the update. I’ve written too much

SO! Anyway. he came home from the comedy show thing, and he was hanging out with his sister watching some Japanese reality show and drinking, and he messaged me out of the blue. Funny thing I’ve noticed is that he doesn’t generally reach out to me first and he’s not too expressive generally but whenever he’s intoxicated in some way, be it alcohol or pot or even benadryl, he gets really effusively, gushily mushy and sweet. So on this occasion he was drunk, or at least tipsy, and that means he was being extra affectionate and dumb lmao. He started out telling me about his night and then hit me with the “I wish you were heeeerrrrreeeeeeee” lol. And he said something about how one day when he graduates, we should get a place together, where we can “be non-binary and own our dreams” (the second time he’s mentioned possibly being nonbinary to me - or possibly third time, he said something in passing about being confused about gender roles, in a context that implied ‘in relation to himself.’ meanwhile I haven’t actually said anything at all to him about me being nonbinary, he just kinda assumed b/c i have a rly butch-y looking haircut rn lmao. but like.. he ain’t wrong tho 😂 so that’s a conversation that we need to actually have sometime.) He was like “it’s sorta romantic that you live up there and I live down here and we’re so far apart and we have to just kinda pine after each other basically” and i was like oh good, I’m not the only one pining lmao. But then he asked me to come with him when he moves to Japan to teach English there, sometime after he finishes his degree. Which like, I wish I could go with him, and I know that if we’re still talking at that point/especially if we actually get together, it’s gonna be hard to be that far away from him and I’m gonna miss him. But it’s just eminently not practical. I don’t have any college degree and I don’t speak a lick of Japanese, there’s no way I can teach English with him; and there aren’t many other jobs there for Americans. And he won’t be making enough to support both of us on a teacher’s salary, i know that much. So that’s where I start to get a bit disillusioned. Like I know it was just a drunk suggestion out of a desperation to not be apart anymore, and despite the fact that a drunk mouth often speaks sober thoughts, I know better than to assume that either of those offers to live together were any kind of a promise, and I have no intention to hold him to either of them. But in the moment I very much got my hopes up and I let myself get really excited and I regret that now lmao because like I knew even then that it wasn’t real. and now i’m just sorta disappointed because I’ve had to confront the fact that he’s very much a daydreamer and I, for all my delusional fantasizing, am at heart more practical than that. I don’t like to hope for things that I know can’t happen, because it’s just setting myself up for future devastation. And he just wants to hope and wish for everything, and maybe some of it will come true and maybe some of it won’t, and he just sort of seems unbothered by either outcome. For all my hopeless romanticism and my overemotional nature, I can’t bring myself to do that, to hope without expectation. I don’t know how. it’s so antithetical to my understanding of the world. And it just serves to highlight another of the many ways in which we are almost complete opposites - which isn’t a bad thing! but it can make some things harder. like handling distance, or hoping for the future, or just communication in general.

but anyway! back to drunken happiness lmao. he started saying really sappy shit like how he wants to be there for me when I’m feeling down, and he wants to have big dumb fights with me just so he can make it up to me with a big grand gesture like flowers or edible arrangements or something. and then he wrote me a drunken limerick and it was actually surprisingly good and really cute lmao. and he said he wanted to cuddle me. and then we got into a mini-fight over which one of us was cuter lmao. and he called me queen and said that he just wants to like. make me food and take care of me and stuff lol. and that he doesn’t even HAVE a type but somehow I am exactly his type? which is still fucking me up, that’s the sweetest shit i’ve ever heard. (because i know what he means, he’s dated around quite a bit with different types and genders of people and stuff because he didn’t really know how to handle his asexuality and of course the myth is that you just haven’t found the right person yet, so he just kept trying and feeling broken and then here I am, the first person he’s found to be accepting and understanding of that part of him, and still want him and care for him and be all lovey-dovey and shit with him, and he just wants me to be happy in return.) meanwhile I of course have several types, including different types for girls and guys etc, but he’s hitting all my boxes - tall, handsome in a kind of adorkable way, smart, funny, sarcastic, sweet, patient, sensitive, similar tastes in media and similar political alignments, queer. plus he’s just cute as fuck. like out of my league cute lmao but again, that’s exactly my type OTL so like I told him that, and that I just wanna like. hold him and be with him and help him be successful in whatever he wants in life. and he freaked out and was like ugh you should just come here rn i’ll hide you under my bed if i have to and i was like i wish i could :( and he was like THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH AUDREY COME HERE and i was like OK IM LEAVING ON FOOT SEE U IN 3 DAYS and it was funny. and we flung a bunch of heart emojis at each other. and then he made a passing reference to his mood swings and i kinda ended up ignoring it because i sent a message at the same time but in my head i was like boy have you even MET me, 1. the swings have always been my favorite piece of playground equipment, 2. i’ve got mood swings down to a fine art, and 3. i’m more worried about whether you can handle mine. i’m pretty sure i can take yours in stride lmao. and then there was more talk of cuddling, and HE STARTED HEART REACTING ALL MY MESSAGES and i’m just like WTF STOP IT THAT IS THE CUTEST SHIT <3333 and then he sent me a dollar by accident? and I sent him the “i love you bitch, i ain’t never gonna stop loving you bitch” vine lmao

and apparently this whole time he was still sitting around with his sister? lmao because he said she told him she approved of me after i sent that vine 😂 and she apparently likes my hair! which is good lol (reminder I need to post some pics of it on here, I posted selfies to fb but i don’t think i’ve posted on here yet). his sister is also bi lmao and seems cool in general (and also from what i’ve seen creeping her fb, she’s REALLY GORGEOUS, like it runs in the family, these fuckers should be models, it’s ridiculous really) so having her approval is v nice. like at least one member of his family approves of me! now to work on the rest 😂😂 and then he was talking about he was gonna get high also (despite being already drunk) and i was joking with him about bogarting the weed and he was like “when we live together I’ll share my weed with you” lmao but he said it with such certainty, like it was just a given. not an if, but a when. which threw me for enough of a loop. But then he started in on this fantasy scenario where like it’s late at night and we can’t sleep so he makes me sushi by hand, and we feed each other with our chopsticks (he was impressed that I already knew how to use them lmao) and we sit on the couch arm in arm watching reruns of cheers and laughing way too loudly and fall asleep in each other’s arms as the sun comes up outside but we don’t have anything to do the next day so it’s ok. and it was the sweetest most romantic shit I’ve literally ever heard in my LIFE, like it sounds like actual heaven and i was crying happy tears at this point lmao. just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like in that moment i felt so fucking loved i couldn’t even speak and y’all know i’m never speechless, i literally can’t fucking shut up most of the time lmao. and like at that point his phone was dying so he went to plug it in and go to bed and I did the same because it was like 2:30 in the morning but i was just giddy with affection and couldn’t sleep.

anyway so the next day (sunday) i had a party thing to go to that was really fun but i’m socially awkward so i texted him a lot as a crutch. and then the next day (monday) he had given me “permission to bug the crap out of him” so i messaged him a lot throughout my work day because it was an unusually crappy day anyway. and the day after that (tuesday) we messaged about the democratic debates and stuff. and then i kinda tried to give him some space, because i felt like i was smothering him, and i made it all the way to friday evening before i caved in and messaged him again. like i don’t wanna bother him by messaging him every day, i know he’s busy. whenever he doesn’t actively have class, he’s got homework or he’s working (which usually means he’s driving and can’t talk). but i’m like so addicted to the affection i get from him, it’s bad. my anxiety just keeps building and getting worse if i try to avoid messaging him and I don’t make it very far before i end up giving in and messaging him for a hit of that good ol’ dopamine. so we ended up catching each other up on the events of the latter part of our week, and talking about sushi preferences. and he apparently has never had eel?? like that was probably the 2nd or 3rd thing i tried lmao 😂 but then to be fair I had a boyfriend at the time who was very interested in making sure i tried new things, and who had been stationed briefly in japan so he knew a lot about sushi and wanted to show off. anyway Letter Boy is like me, he prefers salmon by a wide margin. and we talked about how he’d tried squid and did not enjoy it, and that turned into a mini battle to see who could post the weirdest squid-themed gif lmao. and then i sent him the playlist but he still hasn’t listened to it yet I don’t think. but he also wants me to write him a poem lmao so that’s something i should start working on i guess. but idk i’m not feeling it rn but that’s not his fault.

and then today happened and i had another incident with my mother and her narcissistic bullshit and i was feeling like shit so i reached out to my best friend to kinda get some validation that i’m not actually the narcissistic one (which felt shitty and manipulative, like if i have to ask i’m probably at least a LITTLE narcissistic. but then again if i actually was narcissistic i guess i wouldn’t even have that doubt? like i would just be certain that i wasn’t and not second-guess it because i wouldn’t care? and like making their victims believe that THEY are the narcissistic ones and the abuser isn’t, is a classic hallmark of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse? but i still felt like shit about it idk). And I also reached out to Letter Boy because while I love my best friend more than words can say, like she’s my sister-from-another-mother, Letter Boy has kind of become my comfort person. like i always used to write letters to him whenever I was going through a rough spot, as a distraction. and usually I’ll message him whenever I’m starting to feel anxious or sad, but lately it’s gotten to where I’ll start to feel anxious and sad whenever I don’t message him regularly. like i’ve said, it’s getting bad and i’m worried about it. like that’s not a good sign of a healthy relationship. and it’s nice to have some positivity in my life, especially given all the negative shit i’m constantly surrounded by. but that doesn’t mean this relationship is healthy or good for either of us. so that’s yet another thing on my list of shit that’s making me anxious lol. but anyway he tried to be supportive when i told him about what i’m dealing with in re: my mother, and encouraged me to get out, but he just seemed kinda generally lost. like he didn’t know how to deal with it. and if that’s because he’s been fortunate enough that in his life, that kind of behaviour is not something he’s experienced, then I’m happy for him. but he said some stuff about not really believing in labels, but specifically in regards to mental health issues? which like. that’s all fine and good in terms of gender and sexuality, but with mental health, that’s a medical issue. you kind of have to have names for things in that context so that you can treat them. and i get that he was kinda trying to be encouraging to me, to not let my mother make me think of myself as a narcissist, and to not feel so shitty about myself in terms of like my depression and anxiety and stuff. but it just felt like it was sort of coming from a place of very neurotypical privilege and misunderstanding, and it was sort of unintentionally invalidating. and then he brought up the idea of us living together again, once he graduates, but he said it in a slightly more realistic way which i should have been happier with but that only wound up disappointing me. he said “maybe when i graduate we can get a place...” instead of like his certainty from earlier. and i said i wish, and he said that he wishes too and we should both hope for it and maybe it’ll happen. and i’m just like... hope is a dangerous thing for my emotional health, i don’t want to hope for something that isn’t going to happen. and he basically said that i need to learn to hope without expectation, and set small goals as baby steps toward that bigger dream, and i’m just like. i don’t understand but thank you lmao. and that’s where we left off this evening. and i’ve been crying, about shit with my mom and my life in general and worrying about all this bullshit with letter boy and how like a week ago we were blissfully happy with each other and now things are feeling increasingly less certain and i have this burning feeling in the back of my mind that he’s not gonna actually show up for the Syrup Festival in 3 weeks - which again, i’ve pinned all my hopes to, it’s the light at the end of my newest tunnel. and i’m so nervous because i want to show him everything and let him get a feel for where i live (and why i feel trapped here lmao) and yet at the same time i don’t know how to handle it because i don’t think he’ll feel the same way about it as i do. and i’m still not sure he’ll even come. because despite him telling me repeatedly that he wants to come, i can’t help but feel that either something will come between us within that time, or he’ll just end up having to work, or something, and he won’t actually come. i’m so terrified he won’t want to come. I’m terrified i’m pushing him away. because this whole thing, ever since we started writing letters, has felt mostly one-sided, like i’m out here sharing everything with him and flinging my love and attention at him, and getting scraps in return, just enough to keep me coming back for more. and i don’t know if he’s stringing me along or if he’s serious. he is a bit flighty. I don’t want him to fly away. but i don’t want to hold him down, either.

i don’t know.

#personal #letter boy #letter boy update #long post #ignore me #so anyway that's like.... the last 6 months almost lmao #all the ups and the downs #this has been over a week in the writing and i'm sorry #i got lazy with updating the dates throughout the post

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mightypocketcow · 5 years

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Avengers AU

I had a very specific vivid “cinematic” (according to @sui-me-away) dream about a wild course of events that would change the entire MCU, starting in Captain America: The Winter Soldier

and on request of my friend who I sent this to, I am posting it here:

SPOILERS for ENDGAME, INFINITY WAR, CIVIL WAR, and of course TWS

So... to start with, Steve and Sam are gay. That opening scene with the “on your left” and talking about over there versus here? That already is kinda gay. Especially like... he already knows where Sam lives by the time he and Nat are running? Gay.

Anyways, so my dream took it even FURTHER. They still do the flirting with the On Your Left and talking about how the beds are too soft... and they also talk about how lonely it is at night without a bunch of your Friends to talk to and be close to and stuff. Then Steve offers his Support... and this cute lil’ gold and red decoder ring with his address and phone number hidden in it in code, (and the camera really focuses on the ring at a certain angle where he is out of focus but his hand and the ring are in focus... more on that later)

And he’s like "I'm here for you, PTSD is some real shit and both me and my wife have it, we have both been through a lot." Because for SHIELD reasons that Fury won’t disclose, he has demanded that Natasha and Steve ‘get married’ but my gal is a bisexual mess with a huge crush on Maria Hill and Steve is a gay baby so it’s a nice best friend QPR WLW/MLM solidarity thing. They’re like insanely loyal and love each other but all platonic.

And Sam's face is like really surprised and sad, and he’s like "Uh your wife?"

And Cap just gets all flustered and goes "Oh no no no, it's a mandated thing from shield, we aren't really married... I mean, we are, but we're not... in love. I'm gay."

And Sam just goes "haha yeah... wait what? Uh, yeah me too."

And they kinda just smile at each other before Nat shows up for Steve and then Sam says "Hey you know that decoder thing you do for Anxiety Safety? I do it too." and hands him a silver and blue ring with HIS number in it.

So most of the rest of Winter Soldier remains the same except that at the end, Natasha somehow dies saving Bucky... and nobody will believe Cap and Sam that it wasn’t Bucky who killed her unless they can prove it was someone else. So it changed the whole course of Civil War because everyone on Tony's side is accusing Bucky but it really wasn’t him! And that’s why Bucky is on the run!

Now Clint is the one who was on Tony's side but switched sides to protect Bucky from T’Challa... because at that point you find out that it wasn’t Bucky who was responsible for Natasha’s death, but someone deep in Hydra/SHIELD.

But when she died Cap got Very Depressed... Sam helps him with the guilt he has because she dies rescuing Bucky so Steve has SO Much Guilt...

But Cap and Sam knew where Bucky was the whole time and that’s what everyone is mad about because they’re like “He killed Natasha and you’re defending him???”

But near the end of Civil War you also find out that Natasha isnt actually dead because Nick Fury said “Nah bitch.” (My dream was actually not specific about this part, but I imagine it’s similar to Fury’s death in TWS)

So civil war is about Natasha's death, T'Chaka's death, and the murder of Tony's parents. That's why Clint was on Tony's side. He love his Nat.

But they get it all solved with Zemo and with Nat’s death Not Being Bucky’s fault... but they still have a time with Bucky and Tony anyways because yeah he did still kill Howard and Maria Stark and Tony is LIVID

So that part essentially remains the same.

And then at the end of Civil War, after they escape the prison... Steve proposes to Sam with the red and gold decoder ring, with the same camera angle as before because Cinematic PARALLELS

He buys a real ring don’t worry but the decoder ring means more

So Bucky is happy and supportive and also maybe has a thing for Natasha but don’t ask him to admit that out loud because he will shoot your kneecaps (he won’t, Cap said no kneecap shooting, but he will seriously consider it)

Natasha does really think Maria Hill is hot but also she does like Bucky because she understands him (much like her with Bruce) and they do that “are they aren’t they” thing instead of her and Bruce...

Anyway yeah that's the first part...

So. Onto Infinity War and Endgame.

Peter Parker was fighting Thanos on Titan with Natasha and Bucky and the Guardians but Tony was not there.

Natasha sent for help with a Redwing-like droid she had from Sam when Thanos threw a fuckin moon at Bucky... but nobody came in time

So when the Snap happened Tony knew where they were and immediately did everything within his power to get to Titan immediately and turns out he has a suit that can go to space and turns out he made TWO of them

So he and Pepper show up there in their Spaceman Iron Man Suits and they find the Guardians disappearing and Bucky is gone too and Natasha is hysterical

And Pepper goes to soothe Natasha who has never been to space before and just lost her Bucky and everything else as far as she knows...

“It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault Pepper, don’t touch me Pepper I don’t want to lose you too, quit telling me it’s not my fault, you don’t know that, it’s all my fault, I should have been more careful, we should have gotten the gauntlet off of him, it’s all my fault Pepper, he’s gone because of me, they’re all gone because of me, I’ll never see Bucky again and it’s all my fault, how do you KNOW it’s not my fault Pepper you weren’t even here--”

And Tony goes to Peter who tells him what happened, in a slow shaky voice... and he is shaking badly, and he’s getting really pale... and he’s like “Mr Stark I don’t feel so good...”

And you can tell he's fighting it off with all his strong boy Spidey powers... and then he falls into Tony and Tony lays the boy down and is trying to be Strong but also crying because that’s his boy! He should have been here to save him!

And he’s like “Mr Stark I'm Scared I don’t wanna Go”

And he keeps getting paler and shaking more and more and his skin is starting to crack... and obviously fighting it is making him more in pain, so Tony through his hysterical tears is like "it's ok, Peter, you can rest now" (TO PARALLEL HIS OWN DEATH IN ENDGAME)

And then Peter visibly relaxes and closes his eyes and then dusts away...

So the only thing that really changes in endgame is that Steve is way more visibly upset about EVERYTHING because my boy has lost everybody... his Sam, his Bucky, and ergo his Natasha because girl is long gone mentally for a while

Even once she gets a bit more recovered Nat is vaguely hysterical the entire time because she lost her Bucky and she has so much guilt and PTSD from Titan but she gets better when they find Clint... and she still sacrifices herself. Mostly in hopes to see Bucky again.

And Steve just fuckin loses it when Clint comes back without Natasha, he has now lost everybody, he fucking decks Clint in the face and he’s just absolutely pissed but everyone realizes it’s not personal so Clint isn’t mad but someone still needs to pull Cap off of him because dude WILL kill Clint by accident so Bruce pulls him off and then Clint (nursing his black eye) just... holds Steve while he cries, dude has also lost absolutely everything, he gets it.

Then when Bucky and Sam come back in the final battle Cap is all happy and shit

But after the battle he has the unfortunate task of telling Bucky that Natasha is gone and Bucky just breaks. He’s broken. He is Done with Life and Done with Everything. But then Clint tells him the full story and he gets an idea.

So actually... Bucky... is the one that goes back in time.

He goes back with the soul stone last and meets the red skull and first things first fucking decks him in the face for WW2 and he’s like “I'm giving you back the stone give me back my Natasha”

It takes some arguing and a bit more punching but he does agree to it

And so they come back and he has Natasha and everything is solidly okay

Steve still wants to retire... but with Sam. They both have been through enough and they just want to be happy together and start a family and whatever.

So he passes the reigns of being Captain America to Bucky.... And they go “Off The Grid” like Clint's family. Someday they’ll start their own family but right now Uncle Sam and Uncle Steve have to help Pepper and Happy take care of Morgan with Tony gone. (Yes he’s still gone, I’m sorry that’s what my brain said)

(I didn’t mention this before but Stan Lee made a cameo in my dream, he’s an onlooker when Steve proposes to Sam in the park where they first met and he says, “Back in my day, men weren’t allowed to do that. I’m glad it’s changed.” Anyway I think this dream is a message from the ghost of Stan Lee goodbye)

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nonsimsical · 6 years

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Even super detailed questions for Bennette please!

I am assuming you mean all even’s for Bennette right? LOL Okay, I’ll do it. I’m skipping all even’s up to 20 because I already answered all those >>here

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

If she did insult them, she’d do it with one of the many southern sayings she grew up hearing/saying, lol. For example, “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, did it?”And she’d tell you what she thought of you to your face. She’s very honest.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

She’s a nightowl and suffers from insomnia. So she’s used to surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep. If she sleeps more than 5 hours, she’s kind of dead on her feet and is pretty useless, lol. She usually sleeps on her side and has to have a fan blowing on her even in the dead of winter. She can’t sleep without it. AND she does snore sometimes.. usually when she can’t breath out of her nose or when she’s pregnant for some odd reason.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

Happy or sad, Bennette tends to sing and she sings whatever pops into her head. She isn’t open with her emotions with people she doesn’t know, she has enough problems with her anger being hardwired to her tear ducts. No, she talks to Theron or one of her best friends about how she’s feeling if she needs to get it off her chest. And she does dance, rather silly might I add. She can dance, though. Nothing like ballet, but she can move it.When she’s depressed she becomes withdrawn from everyone and can be even reclusive. She pushes through enough to go through the every day motions so she can take care of her kids, but that’s pretty much all she can muster when she’s surrounded by that kind of darkness.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Losing her children. Being a failure as a Mother and not being able to provide for them, keep them safe and healthy and fed. She usually goes into the bathroom, turns on the bathtub and sits on the floor and cries until she can come out and face her family.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

She walks everywhere if she can. And goes on walks with Meghan with the little kids when the evening cools off in the summer. She goes swimming in the little pond on her property in Arizona and she takes Pal for walks all the time, but because she was on bed rest from 11 wks pregnant to 8 wks after she gave birth, the muscles that surround her bones became lax and so after being on her feet for a certain amount of time it feels like her back is on fire and it hurts to walk or just stand.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

She dresses casually.. in long shirts to cover her ‘fat’ or as she likes to call it, ‘squishy muscle’, and jeans. She hasn’t worn shorts or a dress in almost three years.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

She’s 5′9″ and some people would say she’s “voluptuous.” Theron would say she’s absolutely beautiful and perfect in every way.She does not like her body, but what happened was out of her control. She’s tried everything from excersizing, to dieting to lose the weight and she just can’t. Theron tries to reassure her that the weight doesn’t bother him. He still think she’s as beautiful as the day he met her, but her insecurity often rears its ugly head. She keeps this to herself though and she comes off as very confident.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Oh she sings, but she’s not very good at it though, lol. She enjoys gardening and coming up with new foods and breads. She’s pretty good cook and a Mom.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Honesty.Hmm.. honestly, HAH sorry but I couldn’t think of a better word, she doesn’t wish she was any different or more like someone else. She might have body issues, but she is proud of herself and all of her accomplishments. Her choices in life are what made her who she is today and brought her to where she is now and the people she loves that are in her life. She’d not change one thing.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Energy drinks, no. Coffee… to an extent. She prefers blended coffees, which she makes at home as well as buys.. though she prefers chai teas and sweet tea. And if she drinks soda, it’s pepsi.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Her goals are just to be the best person she can be, provide and love her children with all of her heart-body-and soul and .. to just take it one day at a time.She’d give her own heart if one of her children needed it to live.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

She loves Fall and she loves the rain, but she also loves not being wet, lmao.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

I think it depends. She can be very charismatic and she’s got the gift of gab and can befriend just about anyone. Some people think she’s weird, others think she’s too loud.. some like her and are usually very pleased/happy to see her again.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

She is not a party person. The only party you might find her at is a child’s birthday party and usually it’s her own children’s or her friends children’s birthday parties. Though she may very sociable and charismatic, she prefers to be home with her kids in her jams.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

This isn’t very specific. How big is the bag? LOLOkay.. toothbrush, scrunchy, chonies, bra, pair of clean jeans and a couple shirts, hairbrush, toothpaste, tampons, floss, toilet paper, wallet, cell phone, charger, flashlight, batteries, so on and so forth.

#replies #charsimatic #ts3 #simblr #sims3asks #sims3sims #oc stuff #my sims #mine #Bennette

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the-bathmat · 6 years

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okay *stretches knuckles* time to make a hollow city movie imagining it in a kinda realistic movie format

full version

first scene: the kids leaving cairnholm. no music is playing, just them in the boats. we barely even see them, small dark silhouettes against the mist. jacob asks emma "where are we?". emma stays quiet for a second and says "we have six kilometers left." we hear the children being like "oh thank god we're halfway done!". then emma goes "no, sorry, I was holding the map wrong. we still have eight kilometers at best". a moment of silence. then we hear enoch screaming "ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

the logo with the dramatic music and blah blah yeah yeah

we see them already at the beach, looking absolutely wrecked in their little cave. emma heals millard and everyone goes to hide the boats etc. while they do so, jacob sees the zeppelins. as they realize what they are and obviously run away like the floor is burning, sinnerman by nina simone aka the ultimate runaway song is playing

claire cries and bronwyn reads the cuthbert tale with this music as background because why the fuck not

bronwyn reads the tragic part with a resting bitch face, and the soothing music ends on a quite happy tone so it's fucking hilarious or maybe it's just that I have no sense of humor

then the night passes by, we see jacob & emma looking at the stars together, cuddling and telling each other it will be okay while can't help falling in love sung by haley reinhart plays

they find the lake and all that shit and the menagerie okay

and addison puts this song on a gramophone as he shows them around idk why i just think addison would do that

then there's that scene in which horace is a pussy™ (it's very important to establish that horace is a pussy or the knickers drawer plot twist won't work) and wants to stay behind but fiona and claire end up doing it instead. jacob says "don't worry girls. I have a feeling everything will go better from now on. we'll be back very quickly, trust me!"

cut to them in a cage in the romani camp. someone (probably enoch) says "well thanks jacob. we're in a freaking cage now and it's all your fault!" and emma goes "WTF BITCH NO IT'S NOT HIS FAULT" so a huge fight starts and everyone is accidentally being very peculiar. the romani people notice, obv, and are like "wait a sec" but then, in that exact fuckin moment

the wights arrive and they destroy the whole fucking place kicking people in slow-motion. the children are now fighting over killing everyone or not, we see families running away, everything goes to shit as this plays (i have a thing for violin and piano over fight scenes)

well then everything is alright, they party and the roma musicians play this but without the weird guy yelling in russian

the morning after they try to get back on the train but WHOOPS the wights catch them and bring them in the lil house and now I'm gonna mess it up a little

everything's just like in the book, except that when horace says that ICONIC line and they knock him off (and rock and roll by led zeppelin starts playing) emma snaps and attacks the wights. for some reason mr. white is the only one with a gun in his hands, but someone manages to throw that against the wall. as the shithead tries to get it back, hugh is at it with the bees. so in like 54 seconds everything is over owo

so yeah they catch the train but we don't show that we've got like two hours

SHABADABOOM KABOOM WHOOPIE we're in london and as they explore the half destroyed city, catch pigeons etc too marvelous for words by ronnie scott plays (at it again with the weirdly happy music over dramatic scenes,,, and this time the title is also kinda sarcastic)

SO they meet melina they hang out they risk their lives ok ok fuck there's a hollow

them bitches are in trouble in saint paul's loop. they run. the beatles sing twist and shout in the background

this is so sad melina play twist and shout

they get out yeehaw let's go save miss p

they enter that nasty 1800s loop and I found a song that may just fit the miserable atmosphere it made me depressed y'all x

we find that goddamn miss wren fucking finally! everyone is happy except jacob and emma who are kind of trying to figure out what to do, as always

yeah we see jacob's dream about eyeless priests, uncles and shirtless abe fighting a hollow because that's important. and waterloo by abba is playing. it gives off this surreal vibe you know

emo scene with jacob sharing quality bonding time with everyone before communicating his bad decision

but then GASP is that... is that like the bad guy or something

yeah it IS

caul leads the dumb heroes out of the house and into the underground while blood by my chemical romance is playing

yeah then there's that big fat mess and emma and jacob get the hell out of the place and everyone is shouting and yeah making a big fat mess as I already mentioned. so just to stay in the topic, my bad-humored ass chose mess around by charles as a background to this scene. we will need a shorter version, because the escape is supposed to quick, but,, the door closing in front of the children's shook faces as the last note fades,,, it will look so good fellas

(the idea for this was not mine it was actually @midoriperegurine 's lmao she did the first book)

#mphfpc #enoch o'connor #horace somnusson #emma bloom #jacob portman #miss peregrine #fiona frauenfeld #hugh apiston #millard nullings #claire densmore #olive abroholos elephanta #bronwyn bruntley

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overly-b · 6 years

Text

Infinity War - Tom Holland

TUMBLR WAS BEING WEIRD SO YES THIS IS MY SECOND TIME POSTING THIS IM SORRY!

MAJOR INFINITY WAR SPOILERS!!!!!!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN!!!!! I’M SERIOUS!!!!

Word count: 2k

Warnings: INFINITY WAR SPOILERS! swearing, some of the reactions were legitimate things that I said while watching IW.

Needless to say, before you even knew who Tom Holland was, you were a fan of Marvel. Being an actress yourself meant that you got to meet many of the beloved actors that played the iconic roles, which lead you right to Tom when he started off on Spider-Man Homecoming.

Even being longtime friends with many, you were a fan at heart, and still fangirled to no end when there were new movies.

Infinity War was no exception. You begged Tom to let you in on spoilers, for some reason he seemed more careful and determined to keep them from you than the rest of the world. He claimed that he didn’t know much, but you knew that he had to know something.

It broke your heart that you couldn’t make it to Infinity War premiere. You wanted nothing more than to support your boyfriend and his castmates during this time, not to mention you wanted to see the movie you had waited ten years for. You settled for a facetime call with Tom, in which you also talked to Robert, two out of the three Chris’s, Mark and Scarlett. You struggled to get through work that evening, wishing you could be with your best friends.

Tom called you afterward, as he was tucked up in bed. His hair was freshly washed and for a moment you imagined the smell of his shampoo. You pout at the fact that you couldn’t be there for him. You tried to trick him into telling you at least something about the finished product but as tired as he was, he did not want you to know anything until you could see it for yourself.

For the next three days, you avoided the internet. You blocked certain accounts, you deleted Instagram off of your phone and became a very productive human as you neglected your electronics as much as possible.

Once he was home, your usual welcome home sex nearly slipped your mind because you wanted to see the movie so bad. Little did you know, he had a private screening planned for later that night.

You were antsy all the way to the theater, bouncing your feet, picking your nails, playing with your fingers as well as Tom’s. When you entered, the room was empty. You were confused until you saw the look on Tom’s face. You gasped and began to jump around squealing. You were relieved that no one would have to witness your reactions and that you could be as loud as you wanted.

The two of you chattered as previews played. As soon as the lights dimmed, you gasped loudly and slapped his shoulder repeatedly in excitement. He simply smiled at you, lifting the armrest and getting comfortable, motioning for you to follow.

Tom knew all of your theories. He knew your ideas and fears. He knew that some of your theories were right, however, he also knew how much of it you got wrong, and how surprised that you would be.

You settle in with Tom’s arm slung around your shoulders. He was excited. Not to see the movie again, but to see how you took it. One of your quirks is that your reactions to movies are priceless. He loved the nights that you binged watch shows or movies because of all of the comments you’d make and reactions you had. If you were into something, you would say so. Most people found it annoying, however, Tom found it endearing. He loved watching you get riled up.

And without fail, as soon as the movie started, you were already going nuts.

“Oh my god, there’s no music. Where’s the Avengers theme, where’s the music? That means something bad” You decided, sighing and shifting slightly. Tom chuckled, you had no idea.

You watch as the first few minutes roll by. You smirk as you tell Tom that your theory of Thanos attacking Thor's ship was in fact correct. But soon enough, your happiness is replaced by the first death of the movie.

Tom’s eyes wander to you as your face changes and your hand goes to your mouth.

“That was,” You pause, clearing your throat as the movie continues on. “Quick” You sniffle, unsure of how to feel. “And we’re only like ten minutes in!”

The scenes change a few times before you see Tom portraying Peter, along with a best friend of yours Jacob. You smile widely in pride and giddiness. Tom notices this and his heart glows in awe. He was nervous that you wouldn’t like his addition to the movie franchise that you had loved for years.

“Tony and Pepper! Damn that ring! Tony wants kids oh my god!”

“A wizards necklace” You chuckle.

“Kick his ass!”

“Iron dad for the win” You state at Tony’s behavior.

“Ohhh upgrade!” You exclaim at the Iron Spider suit.

“Vision!”

“Tween Groot oh my gosh”

“He is not fat Chris Pratt is dad. Daddy Pratty” This earned you a funny look from Tom. He knew how much you love Chris Pratt.

“Steve! Steve! Steve fucking Rogers is here! Fuck yes!” You exclaim. Tom bursts out laughing at that one. “Brooklynn bitch is back”

These were just a few of the things that you had said during the movie. There were many others to follow. All of which Tom found extremely amusing and entertaining Everytime that Peter Parker said something funny, she would instantly turn to Tom, giving him looks of humor and amusement, or rolling our eyes at the interesting nature of the words.

He cuddles you closer as you near yet another dramatic scene.

“He’s not gonna do it is he? That grape would not.”

Your face contorts into a large pout as your eyes water.

“No” You drag out, sitting up to wipe the few tears that had streamed down your face. “Goddammit” You sniffle, leaning back down to Tom, shifting the original position that you both sat in.

The movie rolls on, you keep up with comments of encouragement, advice, and shuns to characters. You burst out laughing at some points. As the end of the movie built up, you began to get anxious. That could not be it. There was something else that had to happen. You and Tom had both sat up and were now shoulder to shoulder, holding hands. When you reached what was thought to be the climax of the movie, you were confused.

“What? What did that do? Nothing happened, what the hell? He snapped? Nothing happened!” You scramble. And then came the punches. “What the fuck!” Your hand clasps over your mouth as your eyes water rapidly. “No!” Tears rolled down your cheeks as you blinked. Character after character, disappearing before your eyes.

You sit further up as the scenery changes, from Earth to the planet Titan. “No!” You whined, your voice strained slightly. You rub your eyes, they had slowed in producing tears.

“Mr. Stark?” You felt your chest tighten.

You whip around from your upright position to face your boyfriend who simply wore a small smirk on his face.

You watched as your boyfriend, no, Peter Parker, one of your favorite Marvel characters even before your boyfriend played the role, die. In the most painful way, clutching his father figure because he had lost two in the past. He begged for his life. You knew that Peter Parker always had to prove his strength because he was the youngest, but alas he cried, sobbed even, pleading to be saved before vanishing completely.

The end of the movie plays out, your tears slow but do not stop as the credits roll onto the screen. You swipe the remaining tears from your chin, neck, and cheeks before leaning back to Tom with a pained expression.

“Did that just fucking happen?” You breathe out, curling into his side. Tom hums simply. You lift your head up to look at him, your eyes like puppy dogs as they water again when you think about what you just witnessed. Your lips curve downwards as you look into Tom’s eyes. His heart melts at the site.

“Oh, darling!” Tom chuckles slightly at your sadness to his, along with many other characters deaths. His lip juts out into a pout as a result of your heartbroken demeanor as he hugs you closer, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay”

You use your hands to cover your face as another tear sneaks past your lids. You shake your head against his chest where you lay.

“What the fuck Tom” You whine, craning your neck to look at him, your cheek still pressed into his chest. “They can’t fucking do that”

“I think that did love” Tom weakly smiles at your fragile state. You watch the credits and like true fans watch the end credit scene, questioning it excitedly.

Thanos will return.

“That prune, just die already!” You argue with the three words displayed as the very last point of the movie. Tom snickers at your behavior.

It was a quiet ride home as your replay what you had just seen in your head. Tom understood that you wanted a few moments to process, so he turned the radio on a low volume and held your hand all the way back.

Once you enter your shared place, you sigh loudly, wanting nothing but to mope.

“Y’okay love?” Tom questions as you both step into your bedroom.

“That was too fucking depressing” You scoff down a laugh, feeling slightly embarrassed by how upset you were.

“Okay c’mon” He takes your hand gently, leading yours to the bathroom. He turns the shower on, letting it run as he slips his shirt off.

“Tom I love you but I’m not in the mood-”

“Ah ah ah” He shushes you. Placing a sweet kiss on your now chapped lips, he begins slowly undressing you. Your face contorts into one of adoration over how adorable he is.

“I’m capable of taking my own clothes off” You cock your head to the side as he had you in your bra and jeans.

“I know” He states, a small caring grin upon his lips. He kneels down, placing a kiss just above the waistline of your jeans before unbuttoning and unzipping them. He lifts you onto the counter to slip the fabric down your legs, showering them with light kisses despite the fact that it had been two days since you had shaved.

He slips your down, unclipping your bra and sliding it down your arms. Followed by him guiding your underwear down just enough for them to fall to your feet on their own. You step into the tub where the water is now hot, and Tom is by your side a few moments after.

“You are the sweetest thing” You muse, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

“And you are the most dramatic movie watcher I have ever witnessed” Tom shakes his head in remembrance of the past few hours. Your head falls back in giggles, the hot water hitting the top of your forehead as you do so. Toms chuckles rang through the shower in harmony with yours.

“I cannot believe that you kept all of that from me” You scoff in disbelief.

“I didn’t want to ruin it for you. You deserved to get the best experience.”

“Well, the best experience freaking sucked” You pout. Not that you weren’t happy with what Tom planned, but with the events of the movie itself. Tom understands this right away, knowing that you were upset with the movie.

“Yeah” He agrees with you. “I know” He pulls you into his bare chest that is beaded with water, rubbing his fingers on your wet scalp. No doubt tangling your hair as it got soaked, but it felt so good that you didn’t stop him. Your arms snaked around his torso and his free hand found the small of your back. After a moment, he rests his chin atop your head and you begin swaying slightly under the stream of water.

“Don’t ever leave me” You mumble. Before he can open his mouth, you defend your words. “And I know it’s stupid because he's a character but, he’s your character. Watching your character die was also an image of you dying. I just, don’t do that to me, not for real.”

You didn’t have to look at him to know that his lips were pursed to suppress a small forming smile. Tom’s tiny laugh of cherishing your wish left him as air out of his nose. His chest rattled.

“I won’t. Especially not like that” To his statement you whine sadly.

“Way too soon!”

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agaywadarchive · 6 years

Text

Title: My Fault Who: Claudia Daviau, Susana Daviau, Alex Reeves, Mentions of Jackson Kent Rating: R (I guess) For: for me cause I wanted to write angst. But @toptotoe / @ravenpuff-writes since it takes place in our verse Notes: mental illness, mentions of past domestic, medical, and emotional abuse. ALSO IT’S LONG.

DAY 1

The picture they use on the news of her and Jack unsettles her. She is with him, his arm wrapped around her, sitting down on a park bench, smiling at whoever is taking the photo. They look happy and in love. Like soulmates even, but Claudia has more vile memories of when that photo was taken, and the shitty things that happened after.

Seeing that photo makes the words “slut” “whore” “bitch” and “worthless” pop into her mind over and over again, causing her to stagger and lose her balance and grab hold of the couch. A few other words pop into her head, but she tries to push them out because she knows, that once they appear, they’ll keep showing up until she’s crying and in bed.

“YOUR FAULT”

While those words flicker in Claudia’s thoughts, the reporter covering the story states that from both friends and family that she and Jack were a loving couple who were inseparable during their adolescence and that they had no problems. The only person who argues against that is her father, who is very adamant that Jack wasn’t a good guy. The news wants everyone to believe that Jack is a good man though, and even with the press conference Alex made, everyone wants to believe that. It disgusts her. Makes her sick to her stomach. Makes those pesky words repeat in her mind.

“YOUR FAULT”

Claudia was completely fine with the press siding with Jack at first. She thought that eventually that everyone would side with her. That they’d get the story right because of her actions. She felt powerful knowing that she made plans to take initiative and take Jack to court and put a restraining order on him. Then her other plan to give women who have experienced domestic violence a voice also sounded like a good move as well. The thing was, the more she watched the news, and the more they showed her face - as a sick child with her mother, as reckless adolescent with her devoted boyfriend, and her as the adoring wife to a politician - the more awful she began to feel.

The photos being shown - the ones that were photos of her past, not the ones where she was smiling in the present with her husband - were reminders of moments she’d erased from her memory. They were photos from times where she felt weak and defenseless, and in turn, she began to feel weak and defenseless as she looked at them. That feeling of weakness and defenselessness began to feel like a heavy sadness and a need for air.

Moving away from the back of the couch, Claudia stands up to walk to her front door. Her goal is to check the mail and to get some air on the way there. However, the moment she tries to walk, she begins to stagger, her balance uneven as she takes a step forward. She stops for a moment to gather that balance back, but then those shitty words popped into her mind again.

“YOUR FAULT”

She sighs. She wants to go outside though, so she begins to walk again. This time, reaching the door, and achieving her goal of going outside. She thinks that everything is good again and that the onsetting panic attack won’’t happen, so she continues to walk until she reaches the mailbox. She stands there for a minute, not even opening the box, and stares at the rows of houses in front of her. Their neatly organized lawns and decorated front doors a comfort to her since they are familiar to her.

“YOUR FAULT”

She frowns at the intrusive thought, and then she loses her focus, and once again, her balance. Her body sways to the left, and in order to stop herself from hurting herself or the baby inside her, she puts her hands out and uses to them land her fall. For a moment, she contemplates getting up. She thinks of going inside and reading or watching a movie. But instead, she just sits on the curb of the driveway and cries.

-----

Day 4

Getting out of bed is hard. She tells Alex that she doesn’t feel good and that she’s been nauseous. He believes her, but he gives a look that makes her assume he knows something is up.

“YOUR FAULT”

So she smiles and assures him that she’s fine. He gives her that same look though, but replies with, “Okay,” anyways.

__________

Day 6

She works on, or rather stares at the word document of, one of her self inspiration novels and tries to take her own words into consideration.

“You are stronger than you think. Everyone has a hidden strength within them that they’ve yet to show to the world. Find your strength and show everyone what you’re made of. It’s what I did, and I’m pretty sure everyone else can do it, too. Try,“ she reads out loud, not quite remembering writing it, and not really enthusiastic while reading it. Her eyes scan an earlier paragraph, but she doesn't’t read it. Just stares at it until the words begin to blur on the screen. There aren’t any thoughts going through her head, but the blur is comforting in a way, so she concentrates on it.

Or rather, she concentrates on it until she hears her doorbell.

Standing up slowly while holding her stomach, she scurries over to the door to open it. She doesn’t look through the peephole to open it because she’s not exactly here nor there and just wants to hurry up and open the door. So when she opens the door, she’s a little irritated to see her nosy, obnoxious neighbor at her home with a box of cupcakes in her hands. Claudia stares through her instead of at her, and gives her a feigned smile. Usually, she would say something snide and shut the door, but today she’s just going through the motions, so it doesn’t really matter that her neighbor is here.

“Hey, Claudia. The girls and I heard about what happened and we wanted to give you these. Bianca said you liked vanilla with strawberry, so that’s exactly we made for you,” Ingris says, a polite smile on her face. Claudia doesn’t want her to enter her home, but Ingris does anyways, and sits on her sofa.

Claudia’s home is messier than usual. There is a layer of dust on her furniture and there are pieces of clothing and oreo wrappers on the ground. There also books flipped over on two side tables, her coffee table, and her kitchen table. Alex cleans up a little of it everyday, but due to how busy he’s been campaigning, he’s much too tired to do anything once he gets home. So there’s mess all around. And Ingris looks a bit surprised - and by the turn of her mouth, happy - about it.

“Thank you for the cupcakes,” Claudia says quietly, taking them from Ingris’s hands before sitting on the lazyboy recliner near the sofa Ingris was sitting on. The last thing she wants is to feed Ingris what she wants. She doesn’t want her to see that she’s feeling awful. She knows that Ingris feeds off other people’s misery and then goes off to share it in the form of gossip. In her head, Claudia can already hear Ingris’s high-pitched voice calling her a “poor dear” while telling her friends much her “life was beginning to crumble” due to the little mess in her house. Because of that Claudia thinks it’s wise to find a way to get Ingris to leave. “They look delicious. I’ve been really nauseated lately though, so I don’t know how long I’ll be available to talk.”

Ingris seems to blur a bit, but Claudia does catch her leaning forward. Her neighbor then places her hand on her round stomach, causing Claudia to flinch and see clear again. She doesn’t like to be touched, and she especially doesn’t like to be touched by people who have no good intentions and play head games. “It might be good if I stayed a little while, I think. You look like you could use the company.” Ingris pats moves hand from Claudia’s stomach and places it in her hand.

Claudia looks at her hand awkwardly, again, not liking to be touched. Hand holding specifically, with the wrong person, reminds her the times where her mother would use hand holding to control her actions. “I don’t like my moth- “ she would start before her mother squeezed her hand and made her steal back her own words and correct herself, “I love my mother and I appreciate everything she’s done for me. She’s so brave, and I’d be lost without her.” Her mother’s hand would then loosen its grip, and she tap her hand with her other and smile at her.

As she sat with Ingris’s hand in her own, the lavender in her name began to slowly change into a blood red, lipstick stains beginning to smudge all around it.

“MY FAULT”

She pulls her hand away from Ingris, and places it in her own lap, looks away from the vile woman. She wants to hold her hand, but she decides to wait it out. “I don’t need the company. I just want some time to myself. I am a big girl and I have everything handled. The only reason I feel so sick is because I’m pregnant. So you can leave,” she tells Ingris, her voice a lot less soft than before and a little more stern.

“What if I don’t want to?” Ingris counters, her tilting as her arms cross over to her chest.

“Well, I’d like you to leave. It’s my home.” Claudia glares at Ingris. Ingris glares back at her. They stare at each other for a while, seeing who will budge first. And when Claudia doesn’t Ingris stands up and stomps out the door.

“YOUR FAULT”

Once Ingris is out the door, Claudia opens and closes her hand, staring at it. If she closes her eyes, she can picture her mother beside her, ready to grab onto it before a show. “You know this is your fault. You were supposed to say what I told you say. Don’t ever go off course.” Her mother voice echos in her head. “Your fault - remember that.”

She leans her head back against the edge of the couch, and then she sighs.

-------------

Day 10

It’s been ten days and she’s already beginning to question why she’s let it last so long. She should have asked for help - called her sister, spoke to Alex - but she just lets herself drown in her depression. She knows that she could have called a therapist. Called one of her friends. But she doesn’t want to do that though. For some reason the one person she decides to call is the worst person she could ever call about her feelings.

“Mom?” The sound of a heavy sigh could be heard from Claudia’s end of the phone. She has no idea if the person on the phone is Susana or her personal assistant. So when no one speaks, she asks again, though this time more desperately. “Mom?”

There’s another sigh, but this time someone speaks. “Yes, it’s your mother - what do you want? I already said you could have your segment on the show. Do you want something else?”

There is silence as Claudia’s eyes begin to water and her throat begins to dry and burn. She hadn’t thought much into it, so she doesn’t know what to say. Her chest just feels tight and the idea of hanging up crosses her mind but she doesn’t do it. “N-no, I don’t want anything else,” she starts before heavy sighing, her body already beginning to shake, “Or I do want something, but you’re probably not going to give it to me.” The last sentence sounds bitter coming from her lips because they are. But her tone is nowhere near as bitter as it usually is when she speaks to her mother. She sounds like cracked glass, and she knows - she just knows - that without much of a push, she’s going to break.

“You sound upset,” Susana states, her voice calmer and less annoyed than earlier. “What do you want, my angel?”

The words ‘my angel’ make her feel nauseous and are just enough to make the tears fall down her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, but she knew it would happen. While her mother is known to say and do awful things, she has always had a disturbing drive to baby and comfort. Claudia knows that the way to hurt her mother most is to ignore her and come to her during times of trouble, but today she doesn’t care about hurting her mother. She cares more about herself. “I want you to tell me everything will be fine,” she says quietly into the phone, before ugly crying into her hands.

The phone is still on speaker, so the sound of her mother in thought can be heard. And when she speaks that could be heard as well. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise.”

Claudia says nothing, just continues to cry.

“But I can’t continue this conversation at the moment. I have a meeting with my agent soon.”Her mother’s voice is quick, right to the point.

“YOUR FAULT”

“Okay” Claudia sniff, “Bye.” She hangs up the phone and then leans over her bed and then puts her head down in her pillow to cry.

-------

Day 13

“YOUR FAULT”

Claudia picks at her chinese take-out and stares blankly at the three vases full of roses on the kitchen table and the little tiffany box with the necklace inside of it beside them. Usually, all of this would make her happy, but she feels worse today than she’s felt for the past two weeks. She’d like to continue to hold it in, to make everything seem alright, but she can’t, so she begins crying at the kitchen table.

Alex looks a bit confused by her crying, but there’s no surprise in her eyes, nor annoyance. He reaches his hand out and awkwardly puts it on her shoulder. It’s something he’s done in the past that usually works, but makes her a bit nervous now, because now it’s so damn apparent he knows she is feeling bad. He doesn’t ask her what’s wrong though, or doesn’t pry. Just rubs his thumb against her back.

“Is this all my fault?!” she asks frantically with her hands out. “I keep thinking about how the news was putting the blame on me and it makes me think it’s all my fault. That nothing would’ve happened if it weren’t for me - if I would’ve just done something.” She’s still crying, and she wants to stop, but she can’t. “I know it didn’t mess up poll numbers, but I just - I just don’t like when my name is ran through the mud. I don’t like when things are blamed on me. I did nothing wrong.”

Alex quiet and he stops moving her hand. “I think you answered your own question.” His answer is simple and makes her sobbing quieter.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

He shrugs casually. “I’m not great at this, but you just said that you did nothing wrong, and I’m just agreeing with you.” He doesn’t make eye contact with her when he speaks, but she looks at him. She is no longer a sobbing mess, but is still crying, only this time not as much.

“But it feels like it.”

“It’s not.”

She sighs, rolls her eyes, and then begins to sob into her hands.

It’s apparently not her fault, but it’s so hard to get that through her head.

#elliesfinishedworks #( fake ass hoes )#though it's really just about claudia #but it's in one of their verses so #also i didn't know how to get alex #but i triiiiiiiied #also claudia is super sad and i hate it #writing: claudia daviau

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