#shag marry kill

[5sospenguinqueen]

Going To The Chapel | Arthur Leclerc x Reader

Summary: A glimpse into life with Arthur Leclerc since your engagement. 

Warnings: Fluff. Marriage. Pregnancy. Suggestive comments

Requested: Yes by @1800-love-me . requested newlyweds/new dad arthur

F1 Masterlist

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yn_ln just posted

liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and others

yn_ln i had the most amazing weekend with my girls. thank you for planning such a relaxing time away. only one week left until i marry the love of my life  tagged: alexandrasaintmleux, bestfriend, charlotte2304

1,617 comments 

charles_leclerc i’m still disappointed that i wasn’t invited :( 

→ alexandrasaintmleux you had a bachelor party to go to, mon coeur 

→ charles_leclerc yeah but they didn’t have matching robes

→ arthur_leclerc i offered to wear matching underwear with you? 

bestfriend thank you for not saying “only one week until you marry your best friend” because i would’ve had to kill myself, and then you 

→ yn_ln oh

arthur_leclerc my beautiful girl. i cannot wait to marry you 

→ yn_ln counting down the days until i can call myself your wife 

→ user1 ugh, i need a love like these two 

alexandrasaintmleux you’re going to make the most beautiful bride 

→ yn_ln once i work off the hangover you inflicted on me

→ alexandrasaintmleux you didn’t have to keep drinking the prosecco

→ yn_ln you didn’t have to keep topping my glass up! 

→ bestfriend she was getting you drunk enough that you would agree to run away with her and not marry arthur

→ arthur_leclerc hey! 

charles_leclerc just posted

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charles_leclerc a day full of tears and joy. i’m so proud of you, little brother. and beautiful yn, you have been part of this family since arthur first brought you home to us but now we can officially call you leclerc 🤍

5,516 comments

user2 love how he posted an individual pic of yn but not his brother 

→ yn_ln i’m the family favourite out of the two of us 

→ arthur_leclerc i would disagree but you are my favourite 

user3 i love how close charles would’ve had to get for that veil pic

→ alexandrasaintmleux we did have to keep dragging him away from them  

→ charles_leclerc i’m just so happy! 

francisca.cgomes the most beautiful bride 

user4 i love that photo of the two of them sat at the table together 

→ charles_leclerc thank you. i had to sneak back to get it but it was just the two of them in their own little world 

→ yn_ln i was telling him how desperate i was to get out of my dress

→ user5 and he was telling you how desperate he was to get you out of your dress?

→ arthur_leclerc yes

lorenzotl i love you both so much. welcome to the family, yn 🩷

user6 oh okay. this has reminded me of how alone i am 

user7 the cutest couple! 

yn_leclerc just posted

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yn_leclerc sand, sea and a new surname 🏖️

2,347 comments

user8 she changed her name! 

charles_leclerc did you do anything other than kiss? geez 

→ pierregasly it’s their honeymoon. i bet they did a lot more than kiss 

→ charles_leclerc ew

user9 look, we all know you spent the honeymoon shagging each other but you didn’t need to post proof

→ user10 and to think these are the photos they thought were acceptable to share liked by yn_leclerc 

arthur_leclerc my favourite place will always be beside you 

→ yn_leclerc i may not let you leave

→ oscarpiastri married arthur is a cheesy arthur 

alexandrasaintmleux i’m loving these photos! 

→ yn_leclerc maybe you should be next 

→ charles_leclerc don’t give her ideas! 

user11 oh a leclerc thirst trap was not what i was expecting 

user12 is this pr approved? 

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arthur_leclerc just posted

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arthur_leclerc coming soon. baby leclerc

3,549 comments

alexandrasaintmleux i’m so excited for baby leclerc to arrive. is it bad that i’ve already bought loads of clothes?

→ charlotte2304 competing for favourite aunty already, i see

→ yn_leclerc favourite aunty will be whichever one of you gets me a drink first when baby is here

user1 the charles leclerc project is happening 

→ scuderiaferrari we are already having a mini f1 car made 

user2 you’ve only been married 6 months

→ user2 oh

→ user3 honeymoon baby 

charles_leclerc i’m so glad you finally told people. the amount of baby ferrari gear i’ve had made that i have wanted to post 

charles_leclerc i am going to make the best uncle

→ lorenzotl *second best uncle

yn_leclerc i didn’t realise having a baby was going to create a leclerc civil war 

landonorris that is more of your wife than i wanted to see 

→ arthur_leclerc just say congrats, mate

oscarpiastri i guess this means our affair is over

user4 somebody enjoyed their honeymoon a little too much 

arthur_leclerc just posted

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arthur_leclerc our baby girl was born late last night. she is happy and healthy, and yn is doing well

4,478 comments 

yn_leclerc i love you, mon amour. i couldn't have done this without you

→ arthur_leclerc thank you for blessing me with the most amazing family

charles_leclerc can confirm, she also smells so good

alexandrasaintmleux she’s wearing the little booties i bought! please give baby and yn a huge hug from me

→ user5 you don’t get to meet baby?

→ alexandrasaintmleux i’m not currently in monaco but visiting them will be the first thing i do when i’m back

user6 girl dad arthur incoming! 

charlotte2304 missing those baby cuddles already 

→ yn_leclerc we’re home tomorrow so please come over 

→ yn_leclerc you can cuddle baby whilst i have a wash 😂

user7 a baby girl! 

francisca.cgomes you put my giraffe in the bed with her 🥹

→ pierregasly don’t let her meet baby leclerc, please. i’ve only just gotten her a puppy 

→ yn_leclerc oh but how cute would a baby gasly be! 

→ pierregasly no!

→ arthur_leclerc nobody warns you that your wife will be broody again the second she’s had a baby

→ yn_leclerc excuse me, i think you mean no one warns you that your husband will be begging you for a second baby

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yn_leclerc just posted

liked by francisca.cgomes, carlossainz55 and others

yn_leclerc in honour of mon b��bé turning 1 yesterday, please enjoy some snippets of this past year. it has been both exhausting and incredible, and i couldn't have done it without my amazing family

2,091 comments

charles_leclerc i can’t believe my niece is one already. she’s growing too fast 

→ arthur_leclerc which is why we should have a second one

→ charles_leclerc yes! that is a great idea

→ yn_ln this is why i don’t leave the two of you alone with her anymore

user8 that pic of arthur and baby leclerc sleeping?! never wanted kids before but now

→ user9 like he was cute before but now he’s a dilf?

→ yn_leclerc i can’t believe i just had to read that 

→ arthur_leclerc you called me a dilf last night?

alexandrasaintmleux being aunty alex this past year has been the best part of my adult life 

→ yn_ln you can take her for the week if you like. she’s teething so…

→ user10 haha this is so real if you’re a mum 

pierregasly who let charles wear that goofy hat 

user11 omg charles and baby leclerc though 

arthur_leclerc why have you never shown me that photo of us sleeping! she’s literally smiling in her sleep from my cuddles! mon coeur! how could you keep this from me

arthur_leclerc what other photos have you been keeping from me

arthur_leclerc i’m not helping you make a second one until you show me all the photos 

→ yn_leclerc does that mean i get a break from you?

→ arthur_leclerc now people are going to think i mount you all the time

→ charles_leclerc ew why did you word it that way liked by yn_leclerc 

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requests are open

tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25

[my-castles-crumbling]

obvious - @rosekillermicrofic - word count: 126 - NSFW, very suggestive

"Alright. Fuck, marry, kill....Barty, Reg, and me," Dorcas says to Evan, who grins maniacally.

"Oh, easy," he shrugs. "I'd fuck Reg."

Regulus grins lewdly, murmuring, "Of course you would ," before turning to James to give him a kiss of reassurance.

Barty, however, tries to hide his obvious betrayal. "So I'm not good enough to shag, then?" he asks, trying to make the question sound platonic, and not at all like imagining Evan and Regulus makes him want to throw up.

Evan just smirks, though. "If we were married, Bee, we'd fuck every day."

And Barty inhales roughly at the thought, his entire body going hot and hazy.

It only take a moment for Dorcas to break the heavy silence. "Wait, so you'd kill me, then?"

[littlealexhorne]

FMK: David Baddiel, Bob Mortimer, Dara O’Briain

(aka the olds)

you're so chaotic for this one anon

fuck bob marry dara kill david

[fashionteahouse]

Detonate - paul lahote x reader

You were happy. You were always a joyful person, but you felt complete with your boyfriend, Jared Cameron. You had a crush on him since forever and you were pleased to find out he liked you too.

He asked you out over lunch at a diner you liked to eat at and presented you with a “Will You Be My Girlfriend” dessert plate, with the help of the waiter.

You spent a lot of time together to the point where you began to build bonds with his little siblings. They looked up to you in a way and were happy about how sometimes you gave them advice or take time out to spend time with them.

Jared loved showing you off. His friends already gotten the idea of if Jared was coming, you were coming too. They didn’t mind, they were immune to how crazy you two were over each other.

Jared was particularly happier than usual this day, if that was possible, because his childhood friend, Paul, was moving back to Washington. He was living with his mom but after getting kicked out of public school, being sent to alternative school, and being kicked out of that, she figured living with his dad would help straighten him up.

Jared’s phone rings while you two sit on the couch in his parent’s lounging room. He gets up to answer so he doesn’t disturb you from watching your favorite show, which he agreed to watch with you.

He comes back in beaming announcing, “You know Paul’s over his dad’s house now. Are you coming?”

“Is it okay if I stay here? I don’t want to intrude.” You say to him. You were respectful or giving him some space, you wanted him to catch up with his childhood friend without being too much up under him.

“Are you sure? You know it won’t be a bother.”

“Yeah. I’ll meet him whenever things get settled better.” You promised.

He was reluctant to leave you there but your demeanor let him know that you were okay.

That following Saturday, Jared’s parents were going out of town. His siblings were over their grandparent’s house. He decided to throw a get together. Or a welcome back party for Paul.

You arrive with your best friend Leah and she brings her boyfriend of 2 years, Sam Uley. You liked Sam for Leah and you didn’t pay attention to the public’s opinion about him. They stereotyped him as a sketchy guy but they just didn’t know him. He always had piles of responsibility since a young age, so he was mature. Leah helped him by being his peace and he loved her for that.

It definitely wasn’t a small get together. You would’ve thought it was a new year’s party if it weren’t for it being spring time.

You couldn’t find Jared, so you decided to dance around Leah and Sam. They were too busy following each other’s moves. You didn’t mind, you just felt the vibrations of the musical waves and let yourself have fun.

You saw some familiar faces, chatted with them, and followed them into a smaller room where they were sitting, talking and smoking some tree. You didn’t do it often, just occasionally. You felt comfortable since you knew them, but you just didn’t know the one guy.

Grey clouds were evident in the smaller room and you guys were hotboxed in with the door closed.

“Okay. Shag, marry, kill.” a guy you knew from your own childhood said.

You roll your eyes and groan knowing this guy loves this game.

“Lay it on me.” You say.

“Aladdin, Batman….hmm…oh! Harry Potter.”

The guy that you didn’t know starts cackling loud. “Weird ass choice.” he says.

“This is why I can’t stand him. Okay…kill Batman, shag Aladdin, and marry Harry Potter.” you decided.

“Really? You would kill Batman? He’s a billionaire.” The guy who started the game said.

“Okay but he would stress me out. All of those gadgets in his house and I know Harry’s pretty cool. He can do magic.” you say and cough a little bit.

“Okay but fucking Aladdin is crazyyy.” The guy you didn’t know pipes up.

“Fine! What’s your pick?” you challenged.

“They’re all not my type so I’ll pass.” he replies.

“What is your type?” you inquire, you didn’t want to sound flirty but you were soft spoken because he had such a bold personality. It took the room like it was his.

“Definitely not Aladdin.” he teases and gives you a panty dropping smile. You swallow because your boyfriend is in the same house. You want to stay respectful.

You shift your eyes and tell the girl to your left that ran in the same circle of you and Leah, that it’s her turn.

She chooses to marry Batman of course, kill Aladdin and shag Harry Potter.

After some more teasing, you get up to use a bathroom and get some water for your cottonmouth. You see Jared and run and hug him.

“Hi babe,” he laughs then pauses and whispers, “You’re high?” You nod and shrug.

“You should’ve got me. I would’ve joined!” he says to you.

“I was trying to find you when I came.” you tell him.

Just as he opened his mouth to reply, he looks over you and gets into a bigger smile and steers you along with him.

“I get to introduce you now! Paul, this is Y/N, my girlfriend I was telling you about.” he says and you realize the boy who matched your red eyes and teased you about the game, was in fact Paul.

You’re a bit caught off guard, but decide to shake it off since you’re sure that Paul must’ve didn’t know you were Jared’s girlfriend.

You politely smile, “It’s nice to match the name with the face.”

“Likewise.” he says and doesn’t dare to break the eye contact, as if he’s determined to win a staring contest.

“Come on. You want to dance.” Jared asks you, oblivious to the fact that Paul was close to eye fucking you. You nod with the quickness.

After your high was starting to come down, people started to file out, and the music was lower than when you came in, Jared was ready to wrap up the party. He was thankful that nothing was broken.

”You want me to help you clean up? It’s not a big deal.” You tell Jared.

“No it’s okay, just go ahead. I got it.” he tries to tell you, but you didn’t feel right leaving him to clean up a full house. There were people already helping so it felt only right.

You took two big trash bags to his garage’s garbage can. You spot the mini fridge down there and grab a water bottle.

“You mind handing me one.” a voice asks.

You slightly jump, startled, and drop your bottle out of your hands.

Paul picks it up and hands it back to you. “I’m not that scary damn.”

“I’m sorry it’s just I thought I was down here alone.” you say.

You had him a bottle and he makes sure to make contact with your hand and you pull your hand back and use it to open your drink to take a couple of sips.

“How long have you and Jared been together?” he asks.

“It will be a year this November.” you tell him, slightly smiling. He nods taking in the information and then looks at the label of his drink as if he’s researching something.

“Had to break up with mine before coming here.” he confesses.

“Oh really? Sorry to hear that.” you tell him.

“Yeah.”

“Have you guys considered like…long distance?” you offer.

“Well…I don’t believe in those. I share my love through touch.”

You nod and slowly make your way to the stair case that leads upstairs that leads to civilization.

The house is almost cleaned and you forgot that Leah and Sam were your ride back home. Jared’s parents took their car.

“Damn.” you whisper to your self.

“What?” Paul asks, you didn’t even know he followed you upstairs.

“Oh nothing, I have to call someone to pick me up.” you say softly.

“Paul can drive you home.” Jared says and looks at his friend.

“No! It’s no bother. I’ll just tell Leah or Sam to just come and get me.” you say to your boyfriend, but he just shakes his head and says, “You know damn well they left to get their freak on.”

“It’s alright. I’ll take you home.” Paul ends the conversation with that sentence and his car keys are now in his hand.

With Paul’s back turned, opening up the door to start his car, you give your boyfriend an affectionate smooch and promises to text or call him when you get home.

It was quiet in the car for a bit while Paul was driving. You kinda wish you were still high so the silence wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. Once at a red light, he leans back a bit and looks at you.

“Are you a native to here?” he asked.

You nod your head yes and make a mhm sound.

“I don’t remember too much about being here when I was a kid. Just bits and pieces.”

“Did you like where you lived before moving back?” you ask.

He thinks for a minute before answering, “I mean..it was cool but hopefully it’s not boring here.”

“There’s plenty fun stuff to do here. Well.. at least for me. Everybody’s interests are different.” you tell him.

“Maybe you could show me around. Get me used to being back here.”

“Maybe.” and that’s all you said.

The ride was over and you thanked him for the ride.

“You’re welcome.”

He even waited for you to get into your house before deciding to pull off.

You did let Jared know that you made it back safe and after conversing, you knew that he couldn’t hang with you tomorrow because of work.

So, the next day, you decided to walk to your favorite hang out spot. Headphones in and all. No one knows about it, not even Jared, fearful of it being over saturated.

As you were walking, a familiar car comes into view. You pay it no mind at first but they honk to get your attention.

“Where you going?” You see that it’s Paul asking this as he leaned over with the window down and one hand is on the steering wheel.

“Just going for a walk.” you tell him.

“I can give you a ride.”

Damn. You didn’t want people to find out about your sanctuary. It was the only place you could be free in without worrying about people intruding.

“I’m good! Really.” You say and continue walking.

He doesn’t listen but just instead put the car into cruise mode and won’t give up until you huff and look at him.

“Are you seriously going to follow me the whole way?” You ask.

“I’m just trying to be a gentlemen. I’ll drop you off and leave you alone. How about that?” He tries to compromise.

You hesitate to get in the car and shut the car door. His car was clean and since it was daylight, you had a better look at it. The car’s aroma smelled so good and like him. You shake your head to forego unwanted thoughts. You had a boyfriend who you loved for christ’s sake. You’ll never forget this smell because it’s so unique and it fits him.

You tell him directions and he’s makes his way to the destination. It ends when a woodsy sight makes its way to the forefront.

“Here’s good. Thanks!” You say and fling the door open.

With furrowed eyebrows he looks at the sight before him, “It’s a dead end. There’s nothing but trees here.”

You just don’t say anything because you know beyond those trees, there is a sanctuary that’s waiting for you. You make your way to the through the woods and you don’t notice Paul turning off his car to follow you. He’s a stubborn person and he was nosey, he had to see where you were trying to go.

You notice louder footsteps and whip around to find him taking in the scene.

“Dude, you followed me?” you say in disbelief.

He shrugs and just stares at you, daring you to tell him to leave. It’s not like he was going to listen.

You make your way through the small trail and lo and behold, the swimming hole was right there before you two’s eyes. The blue water was glistening and almost glittering. That’s why you were so protective of this spot, the water was so clear.

“Wow.” you hear him say behind you and you look around to see him with a twinkle in his eye.

“So what do you do here.” He asked curiously.

You shrug, “Swim, read…sometimes just sit on the rocks and listen to music. It honestly depends.”

“Let’s go for a swim.” He suggests.

“Don’t tell anyone about this spot. I’ll hate you forever.” You warn while he’s taking off his shirt.

“You have my word.” He says like he’s taking an oath. He pulls his jeans down and he had basketball shorts on.

You take off your cardigan, which reveals your bikini top and peel off your jean shorts that reveals your bikini bottoms. You chuck off your socks and sandals and leap in with him in the water.

Cold and refreshing is an understatement. It feels like heaven. You feel oddly euphoric, maybe because you have company with you.

Paul comes up for air and shakes water off hair to get it out of his face. “I definitely see why you gatekeep this place.”

“Uh huh.” you say seriously.

“It’ll be our little secret.” He purrs and shines you a mischievous smile.

You look at him for a bit but dunk your head underwater. You swim and swim and come back up for air once you’ve made some distance.

You see him not in the water anymore but he’s sitting on a rock, lighting up a joint.

After he takes two hits he extends it so you can join in. You shake your head but he extends it again in a “come on” motion.

You swim over, sit next to him and one puff and you’re coughing. He’s laughing at you, “I don’t do that weak shit.”

It was good. The high felt better than the high you felt at the party, you felt looser and more confident in a way. You two cracking jokes and swimming around until you two feel drops of rain interrupted the splashing session. You swear in another life Paul was a water bender the way he wouldn’t give you a break.

“Shit! Come on.” you say and make your way to shore and hurriedly put your things back on. Paul doesn’t care to put his shirt back on and just throws his discarded shirt and jeans in the backseat.

By the time you two made it in the car, it’s pouring down raining. Paul turns on the windshield wipers as fast as they can go. He makes his way back to normal road. You two glance at each other and giggle like little children.

“That was..”

“Crazy?” you finish for him.

He nods. After some time, you notice him going in a different direction.

“Actually you were supposed to keep going straight.” you tell him.

“I’m just letting you dry off at my place.”

“Someone’s scared of thunderstorms.” You tease.

“Ha, ha.” he dryly says.

His father wasn’t home. The air was cool and you two were just hanging out watching trash reality tv, not caring about the plot, but making fun of the people on there.

You go to crack one more joke but look at him this time, you see his eyes weren’t on the screen, they were on you. It was like he had a mission in his eyes.

“What?” You start to ask and when he didn’t say anything you touch a spot on your face and look down at your hand, wondering if there was something on your face.

He still doesn’t say anything but lifts your face up with his finger and leans in. You’re too stunned to move because you don’t know what he’s gonna do but in the back of your mind you have a feeling.

The kiss was so different than Jared’s. Jared was gentle and almost careful. The way Paul kissed you was like you were already his woman. He kissed you like he worshipped you and your soul. It left you breathless and feeling tingly. He let go of your bottom lip with a soft pop and you looked at him face, completely in awe.

Then reality hits you. You just cheated on your boyfriend.

You quiver your bottom lip and put your face into your hands, too ashamed to look at him.

A sniffle makes Paul put his hand on your back and asks you if you’re okay. You just shake your head.

“Was I that bad?” he says. You had to hold in your laughter because it was far from bad. It was so good, you almost wanted to hop on him.

You reveal your flushed, emotional face and quiver out, “I’m the worst girlfriend ever. I have to go.”

You turn to leave out but he grabs your arm.

“Hey, it’s still raining out. At least-“

But you don’t care. You yank your arm out and you don’t care that he’s calling your name. Right now you hated Paul’s guts. You don’t care that you had to walk 30 minutes in the rain from his house to yours.

Your clothes are completely soaked and you peel them off and shower. You know you’ll be sick as a dog the next day.

Jared called you an hour ago. You start to tear up all over again and decide to sleep off your misery. You hated yourself for kissing him back and enjoying it.

The next day, you wake up, your throat is a bit scratchy but not too bad. A cough drop will do the trick. You see a text from Jared.

Jared: “I tried calling you yesterday day but you were probably sleep. When you get this call me.”

Your heart is pounding so hard you can hear it in your ears. You nervously press on his contact and he answers after two rings.

“Hello?” he says.

“Hey.” You reply.

“I’m coming to pick you up. Be ready.”

“I don’t think-“ you start to say but he wasn’t having it.

“Come on! I miss you. We couldn’t hang yesterday.

You finally agree and he’s so happy to see you. The only thing that keeps replaying in your mind is what happened the previous day. When he greeted you with a kiss, it felt nothing like it did with someone else.

You two are lounging about in his bedroom when you finally get the balls to want to make things right.

“Jared.” You start.

“Yeah?” he says.

As soon as you open your mouth, a doorbell rings faintly.

“Hang on. Hold that thought, I’ll be right back.”

You sigh to yourself in defeat.

You hear happy chatter going about and realize the person who was outside of the door made their way inside of the house.

The person you did not want to see enters Jared’s bedroom behind him and you felt like your heart dropped.

Jared sits back in his spot on the bed with you while Paul flops in Jared’s gaming chair.

“What were you gonna tell me?” Jared says and looking at you.

“Uh..I forgot.” you say dismissively.

You catch Paul looking at you with a knowing look on his face. It kind of pisses you off.

Jared moves from his spot and puts a game disc in and two controllers now occupy both of their hands.

“I think i’m gonna head out.” You say.

“What? You just got here.” Jared says.

“Bet you can’t beat me.” Paul says. The game is on the try again or pick another character display and Jared snickers and offers you his controller.

Not trying to make anything more weirder than they are, you decide to just give it a shot.

You win, leaving Jared boasting and teasing Paul. Paul just passing it off as beginners luck.

You let them two play and eventually Paul wants to go home. Jared goes to the bathroom.

“I’ll drive you home.” Paul offers.

“I’m good.” you say too eagerly.

“We need to talk.”

“Talking’s the last thing we should do.” You say.

“After this talk, I’ll leave you alone.”

Jared comes back in and Paul volunteers to take you back home and Jared has no problem with it. Kissing you goodbye, you and Paul made your way into his vehicle.

Once he leaves Jared’s block, he begins to talk.

“Look I’m sorry for what I did. It was pretty shitty….The last thing I want to do is break you two up. So what I’ll do is, I’ll tell him I kissed you and you pushed me away and that away he won’t be mad at you.”

“No,” you shake your head, “I can tell him what really happened. You don’t have to cover for me….Why did you do it?”

Silence happens for a beat and you almost regret asking him.

“I just…i don’t know…I like you…and it just happened. You didn’t even like it and I just feel more horrible.”

Was he joking? Did he actually believe he was..bad?

“I liked it.” you whisper but recover yourself, “But I’m devoted to Jared.”

He accepts this.

“Can we be friends?” He offers.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“If you’re going to be around him, I’ll be around. I don’t want any animosity between us.”

You think silently for a long moment.

“We can be…friends…I guess.” you decide and almost missed his grin.

He drops you off and you feel like you’re in a daze. You wanted to kiss him again. You almost wished he kissed you again. But, you know the consequences.

The following day, you wake up to Paul messaging you on a social media site. You two chat and it’s friendly like he promised.

A couple texts turned into full back and forths. Months passed and he doesn’t pursue you again. He even brought a girl to the double date with you and Jared. You felt yourself get jealous. You felt silly for feeling that way.

But your jealously is pushed to side when Paul starts to make comments through texts, making you giggle.

Things were starting to die down with Jared and he begins to notice.

You two sat on a log at the beach with cool wind blowing you two’s way.

“I don’t think it’s working it out.” Jared says to you.

You did feel sad. He was your first boyfriend.

“Is there a way we could..maybe work it out?” you ask him. You did care.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to force something that’s not there for us you know? I’d rather be honest about it than bottle it in and be an asshole to you, you know?”

You nod and you two just sit there, looking into the sunset, still holding hands.

Later that night, Paul texts you again.

He shares a picture of a movie he wants to go see that just came out in theaters. He asks you.

You: I’m not sure. Me and Jared just broke up :/“

Paul: Shit i’m sorry to hear that.

He sends another one.

Paul: Was it because of me?

You: Nah it was mutual

He doesn’t reply after that.

You wake up the next morning to him text you.

Paul: what’s your number? I hate texting on here.

You give it to him automatically before realizing what you were doing.

You two text nonstop until you finally agree to go to the movies with him. He picks you up and buys you both tickets. To compensate him, you buy whatever snack he wants of his choice.

After the movie, you two slowly walk back to the front, joking around and talking about the movie.

After he pulls up to your house, turns to you.

“I really meant it when I said I like you.”

You don’t know what to say to that.

“Can I kiss you again? It’s like you’re addicting.”

You glance at him and blindly nod your head as if you were in a trance.

He makes his move. Leaning in, leaving you breathless again. This time you both are holding each other and there’s no regret.

“You were never a bad kisser.” You say after you two catch your breath.

He smiles a confident smile and says to you, “I know.”

[utterhomestucktrash]

Fuck, marry, kill: waterbed, shag carpet, conversation pit

Scared of water beds !! What if I drown or I fall in the plastic and suffocate !

[ghaniblue]

Reading List: August

Everything I finished and enjoyed in August that's not from HD Wireless fest see below. 99% Drarry, 1 Tom/Draco and 1 RWRB fic. ❤️ denotes favourites.

>> July recs <<

HP

❤️🙈 Alley Cat by papermonkey / @dracomort (Tom/Draco, M, 72k, WIP 13/?)

In which Draco attends Hogwarts with Tom Riddle and inadvertently saves the world.

What if Tom became Draco's best friend? I feel like the monkey emoji represents Draco in this fic: if I ignore it, it won't be real and I don't have to acknowledge it ladida. He amuses me to no end.

🏥 Nightingale by michi_thekiller (Drarry, E, 67k)

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages. -Jacques Deval

This is canon-divergent since it was written before the books were finished. I enjoyed the dual timeline. At school they are antagonistic and fight-happy with punching turning into shagging, while the present timeline is just a little disturbing. Harry is not well in this. Draco isn't either but [spoiler].

❤️🩸 Harry Potter and the Inconvenient Condition by Mirabella (Drarry, M, 20k)

Harry comes back from vacation with an inconvenient case of vampirism and must learn to cope with blood, Malfoy, and recalcitrant secretaries. And if that doesn't tell you everything about the plot you need to know, you haven't read enough badfic.

Another oldschool fic. Vampire!Harry has a hankering for Draco's blood. This is such a fun, tropey romp. I was kicking my feet with glee.

🔮 Cassandraco by @jtimu (Drarry, T, 5k)

Harry Potter was going to die in six hours. As far as Draco was concerned, that wasn’t nearly soon enough.

This is fun. Beleaguered rescuer Draco and unwilling recuee Harry.

❤️🤒 the sun between us by @eleadore (Drarry, E, 7,5k)

Draco Malfoy, an omega. It was laughable until he was right in front of you, smelling like he was one shaky step from tripping into a heat. 

This could be just any other omegaverse PWP, but it's so dense with characterisation and layered emotion.

🏊‍♂️ Freely Given by InnerLilith + art by @kk1smet (Drarry, E, 18k + digital art)

As a young child, Harry Potter had always wanted swim lessons. He never got them. As an adult, he runs into Draco—an excellent swimmer and disconcertingly fit to boot—at a muggle pool. Naturally, he calls in his life debt for swim lessons (a totally normal thing to do, thank you very much). He gets more than he bargained for.

What a lovely @drarry-mini-bang story: hot, funny and sweet; and the art is delightful (you get built swimmer Draco and adorable chibis).

❤️👮‍♂️Rookie Moves by peu-a-peu (Drarry, E, 75k) + podfic by @sweatersinthesummer (~7h)

Aurors Potter and Malfoy crack the case.

Finally managed to read this; all the recs are justified. They are such disasters. Their characterisation is so funny and vibrant. They are both so deranged and combative. The podfic was completed half-way through my reading so I switched to listening. Such a good interpretation of this mad fic.

RWRB

❤️🥍 A Sporting Chance by clottedcreamfudge (Alex/Henry, E, 12,6k)

"Marry Henry - destination wedding. Combine all of our names so paperwork is a fucking nightmare." Henry stares at him and Pez rolls the dice, and-

"Congratulations to Alex and Henry Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen," he says with a bright grin, and Alex punches the air and makes a 'whooping' noise. "Your wedding is attended by the Beckhams, the President, and several key members of congress. Henry is very gentle on your wedding night." Henry is going to fucking kill Pez.

"Fucking sweet," Alex says, because Henry is apparently the only one here trying not to have a coronary about all of this.

***

It had just been a party game, except now Henry is in way over his head.

Fuckbuddies/Idiots to lovers. This Alex is such a horny chaos demon, and Henry is so in love it's visible from space. Also, Pez is a gem. I often start scrolling through repeated sex scenes but not with this fic. This story made me happy.

>> september recs <<

[theroundbartable]

What are your merthur fav moments? And what are your fav personal headcanons about them? Also, do you have any fav ships (from any fandom) that the dynamics remind you of merthur?

You know it's bad when I can actually quote them without looking them up:

My absolute favorite scene is the one in "The Changeling" when Merlin holds his marriage speech. I LOVE that one. "I think you're mad. I think you're all mad, people should marry for love. Not convenience. And if Uther thinks an unhappy King makes for a better Kingdom, then he is wrong. You may be destined to rule Camelot, but you have a choice. As to how you do it!"

2. My second favorite is the one with the disir, when Arthur asks Merlin how he knew the place was sacred. It's the first time Merlin dares to open up about himself and it breaks my heart how it ends. "It's obvious." "Pretend it isn't." "Everything here ... is so full of life. Like everything is so much more than itself."

3. DIamond of the day part 2. Just - the entire episode. I love how heartbreaking it is (and I keep rewatching it so many bloody times, aaargh!). But I especially love the honesty and well... I love that Merlin got to choose when and how to tell Arthur about his magic. "I was born to be your servant, Arthur. And I am proud of that."

4. BOGMAN! The HUG! Arthur's desperation when Merlin is gone! Just - URGH! They are killing me.

5. The deleted scenes. First and foremost the Sigil scene! Everything is gayer in the deleted scenes. "Just ... take it." Personal Merthur headcanons?

I very much like the idea that Arthur believes that Merlin is in love with him. Like, from the very first time he saw Merlin steal a dress to the final episode, Arthur is convinced that that's Merlin's secret. I also like the idea that Arthur believes what they have is enough because Merlin never asked for more and Arthur is too afraid to lose Merlin to imply anything more. I also love the idea that at some point in their 10 years of friendship, Arthur CONSIDERED that Merlin may have magic. But that Merlin's constant choices against magic lead him to believe that it's just his imagination.

Arthur needs glasses. Short sighted, probably something like -3 and worse dioptrin. That's why he doesn't notice Merlin's eyes glowing golden when he's right in front of him. Arthur assumes it's candlelight or something.

Arthur keeps trying to show off in front of Merlin to earn his approval. (This one is canon, actually, what am I talking about?)

The servants in Camelot have their own Merlin fanclub and many of them are trying to set Merlin and Arthur up. Some of the knights like to help out.

Everyone thinks Merlin is the jealous one. However, turns out, whenever Merlin suspects a foreign prince/knight/bandit of doing something evil, or attacking Arthur, he is always right. Merlin is sensible and he trusts in Arthur, so he would never truly get jealous when there is no reason to be. When there IS a reason, he turns absolutely murderous though. In fact, Arthur is the jealous one. Only his jealousy is slow cooking. But it's less rational and when he is convinced Merlin has something with someone else, he goes absolutely feral. He avoids Merlin for days until he realises that Merlin doesn't care, then he makes a 180 and pretty much begs on his knees for Merlin to come back. At the same time, Arthur punishes whoever lord seems to have been too close to Merlin. Arthur was also, once, jealous of a horse.

They drink wine in the evening. And sometimes Merlin stays so late, that he has no choice but to stay over. And then, uuups - he shagged the prince. It's okay, it surely won't happen again tonight, will it? *cough cough*

Merlin's magic is very attached to Arthur... and Arthur will deny it, but he really, REALLY likes Merlin's magic. *wink wink*.

Arthur has rewritten at least 10 laws for Merlin before the magic ban is repealed.

... I can't give you all my headcanons, I need them for my fics, lmao XD

Ships from other fandoms that remind me of Merthur, you ask?

Banana fish: Ash x Eiji - Because ... the ending

Heartstopper: Nick x Charlie - When I found those books, I thought it was a BBC Merlin doujinshi. I love you ,Alice Oseman <3

Red, white and royal blue: Alex x Henry - I always felt that the book would work better as a series and I stand corrected. A gay prince dating the bi son of the female president of America? Hell yeah, consider me hooked.

Thank you for the question, anon! I hope you liked your answers!

[dramioneasks]

HP FESTS: The Story of Us Fest (Part 1)

The Story of Us Fest 2024:

Constellations and Miscommunications by noxinkwell - E, WIP - For the last year, Hermione and Draco’s relationship was a dream come true, hidden away from from prying eyes. That is, until it was time for Hermione to meet his mother. Then, everything fell apart. One year later, Draco is revealing two new potions—one to heal the ‘souls’ and the other is to heal a close friend. Hermione is forced to re-live their relationship when she’s invited to a Healers’ Gala hosted by the Malfoy Family to celebrate this momentous occasion. Tonight’s gala was only for her career. Hermione could get through one more night of seeing her ex and then she can move on… right? Based on: The Story of Us-Taylor Swift. Oh, a simple complication Miscommunications lead to fall out So many things that I wish you knew So many walls up I can't break through Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room And we're not speaking and I'm dying to know Is it killing you like it's killing me? Yeah I don't know what to say since the twist of fate When it all broke down And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Declassified by byanca_black - T, WIP - Hermione Granger believed she knew the man she married. Five years of unwavering trust had built a fortress around their seemingly idyllic life. But when Draco does something that she never believed he was capable of, their perfect world comes crashing down.

One Single Thread of Gold by justforgiggs - M, WIP - On a dreary September day, Narcissa Malfoy receives a shocking prediction from an unlikely source. She'll spend the next several years trying anything in her power to prevent it from coming true. -- A Narcissa POV Dramione fic

VERSIONS by jiex_hua - M, WIP - IN WHICH, two ex-lovers have different versions of their past but the present brings about an opportunity to reconcile their story. PRESENT: When workaholic Hermione Granger's so-called friends drag her home to London for a weekend, the last thing she expects is crashing her ex's bachelor party. Draco Malfoy, on the other hand, has no idea it's the moment he's been waiting for—until he sees her. PAST: Post-war Draco Malfoy is proving he can rehabilitate back into society under the watchful eye of none other than Wizarding Britain's Bleeding Hearted Boy Who Lived Hero, Harry Potter. But staying in line isn't so simple when he catches said hero's Golden Girl colluding with a Death Eater's son. Meanwhile, Hermione Granger is on another mission for the greater good that no one, especially her best friend Harry, can know about—even if that means forming an alliance with said best friend's ex-Death Eater pet project. FEATURING: past/present dual povs, both equally unfiltered and equally unreliable

Twist of Fate by Sparkly_Bee - E, WIP - It is harrowing how a single choice can change the trajectory of one’s life. What if it wasn’t his choice, but the choice of another that shifted his path? This isn't a tale of good decisions and happy endings, where a man can find his redemption. This is the tale of the boy who had no choice finally getting a chance to choose. Draco Malfoy has lost hope awaiting his fate amidst the Death Eater trials when his longtime crush, Hermione Granger, joins his legal team. What will drive Draco Malfoy’s choice? What will that choice cost? Can Hermione Granger save him?

In My System by Ink_and_Cider - E, WIP - “Come home with me,” she breathed. “Just for tonight. You're discreet, and obviously we have chemistry.” “Why are you giving me a sales pitch, I'm already trying to shag you in an alleyway. Do you frequently have to beg for sex?” “I usually make them beg,” she shrugged, taking a step towards him. “Oh really?” His eyes grew dark and heavy, and he stepped up to meet her. “Do you like when wizards beg at your feet?” “Sometimes. Other times, I allow them to worship me. If they earn it.” His swallow was audible and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. “Granger, if you aren't into public nudity, I think you ought to take me home now.”

Pull Me Under by IndigoHaze - M, one-shot - One night a few moons ago I saw flecks of what could’ve been lights But it might just have been you Passing by unbeknownst to me Snow On The Beach - Taylor Swift feat. Lana Del Ray Grief can eat away at a person until they're a shell of themselves. When someone can't publicly express their grief, it can drive them to madness. At least that's what Draco believes when he loses Hermione when she drowns during the second task of the Triward Tournament. Meanwhile, he's unaware that she's trying to find him. Written for The Story of Us Fest in DWS! (WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH)

A Million Little Times by Silver_Snidget - E, one-shot - And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings and stolen stares They show their truth one single time But they lie, and they lie, and they lie A million little times And you wanna scream Don't call me "kid" Don't call me "baby" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors You know I can't see with anyone else “I told you not to show up today,” he said in a low voice. With his free hand he brushed her hair over her shoulder. His hand moved slowly, leaving a tingling trail in its wake, from her arm all the way down to the hand that held her book in a vice grip. He gently loosened said grip and entwined their fingers.

The Synthesis of You by dearhummingbird - T, WIP - She could see, however, how it calmed him, how he heard music in everyday things - the clinking of a spoon on porcelain, the pitter-patter of raindrops. To Draco, his mother sounded like Chopin’s Etude Op. 10 No. 3, powerful, serene, sorrowful, with bursting moments of joy. His father was moody, sombre; the first movement of Beethoven’s Sonata No. 14. Though, from the stories his mother told him, his father wasn’t always that way - even Draco had glimpses of memories - more Beethoven’s ‘Pastoral’ than ‘Moonlight Sonata’. Draco hears music in everyday things, in objects and the people around him. But he didn’t expect that his favourite song would one day be the result of the summers spent with a certain Muggle-born witch.

There’s Glitter On The Floor After The Party by GoldMagpie - T, one-shot - “You’ll do what…?” “If I kiss you at midnight, McLaggen won’t.” He explained rapidly, his gaze falling to her lips briefly. “If you want me to…?” - New Year’s Eve changes Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy’s lives forever.

Of Starlings & Shorelines by Hanniesalwaysreading - E, WIP - It’s been five years since the Battle of Hogwarts, and Draco is living in self-imposed exile on the Yorkshire Coast. His bigoted past is far behind him, his future is bright, and no one can bring him down. No one, that is, except for Hermione Granger. Why Granger, how nice to see you. What am I doing here, you ask? Ah, well, you see, I ran away like the coward I am, and I’ve been hiding on a secret estate cleaning up bird shit for the last three years. What the fuck are you doing here? — Or, how Draco Malfoy accidentally turned his home into a bird sanctuary, learned a bit of veterinary medicine, befriended a phoenix, and failed to keep Hermione Granger’s swotty nose out of his business.

dust off your highest hopes by cosmic_kate - T, one-shot - After draining all her accounts on repeated unsuccessful reversal attempts for the botched obliviation she performed on her mother, Hermione is just desperate enough to accept Draco Malfoy's offer of employment. He's annoyingly charming, handsome, and even comes with his own personal sidekick. But when she finally realizes what he's after, everything changes. OR Play seek and find for the 100 Taylor Swift titles hidden throughout.

Hoax by dittanyanddreams - M, one-shot - "You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark" Hermione sat in the window seat of her London flat looking out over the misty city on the horizon, cradling a mug of piping hot tea in her hands. The soft, rhythmic tapping of raindrops against the window echoed a comforting melody. It was during these peaceful moments that her thoughts unfailingly drifted back to her days at Hogwarts, particularly her eighth year. She had been Head Girl, an expected outcome even with the war having disrupted their education; but she had been paired with Draco Malfoy as Head Boy - a combination that had initially appeared impossible to work. Can Draco truly distance himself from pureblood culture, and what can the price of meddling and miscommunication truly be? This is not a HEA, please mind the tags!

little taste of heaven by goldrushrenegade - E, WIP - In which Hermione is forced to endure the presence of her ex-boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, in order to secure the coveted position of Junior Unspeakable. Being around him is unbearable, he acts as if he wants to be friends—as if they ever were friends—while planning his wedding with Astoria Greengrass. Hermione has tried to hate him…but her heart knows what the truth is. - Essentially, a love letter to Fearless (and every Taylor Swift post break up I-still-love-you song because I have no self control)

it's coming down, it's all around by kakumeizenya - T, one-shot - “Just so you know, Draco,” she says as he settles into the seat next to her. “If you sit at the front, you’re not allowed to sleep.” “Why?” “It’s against the law.” A blatant lie. “They stated it in the Geneva Convention.” Followed by another. -- Or, Hermione is knee-deep in denial.

Cracking Locks by kaycares - M, one-shot - Lately, Hermione dreams of cages. She knows they started the night Ron proposed. She just can't figure out why Draco Malfoy is always there.

Good Ideas & Power Moves by kaycares - M, one-shot - Hermione Granger is so sick of running as fast as she can, wondering if she'd get there quicker if she were Draco Malfoy.

Things We Never Did by AutumnWeen - M, one-shot - When loneliness set in, magic provided comfort, but even the most innocent spells can become addictive. People can be addictive, and that is something Hermione Granger knows well.

For You, I Would Fall From Grace by morgan_magic - M, one-shot - Hermione’s marriage was happy, her pregnancy easy, but postpartum she falls into a deep depression, contesting with suicidal thoughts and skirting psychosis. And although she finds love and helping hands thrust upon her, it’s never the person she needs. Or: Hermione can't live with grief and Draco's distance, but Draco can't live without Hermione.

If We Survived by Yeuxverts - E, one-shot - For the first time he thought maybe he might not die before the war ended. Maybe he’d survive. Maybe she would. She should know. How he felt. She should know how much he loved her. She reached a hand out to offer him the pardon and it fluttered to the ground, forgotten, as he pulled her close to him and gave her the kiss he’d been crafting for years. Draco Malfoy reflects on the contours of his and Hermione's story over the years of The Great War.

I Wish You'd Left Me Wondering by Sparkly_Bee - E, one-shot - "I’ve never-” Her courage disappeared when his eyes widened. “Never?” he asked, squeezing her hands. His whole body lit up, everything from his cock to his jaw twitched at the thought that she was untouched. He would be the first to figure out what made her tick. “That’s hot.” *** Draco Malfoy takes Hermione Granger to the Prefect's Bath and makes her feel better when her on-again/off-again boyfriend, Ron Weasley, runs off with another brunette. Things get wet, sloppy, and little crass. Will Hermione regret it? Yes. Do we regret it? No, and neither does Draco. At least not right away. Mind the tags!

Pink Rosé Regrets by allofthelights11 - M, one-shot - The awkward morning after. Fuck Theo and his commitment to screw-top rosé. Hermione is having none of it.

The Great War (Hermione's Version) by leryan - T, one-shot - Hermione felt like she'd been running for months. Years. Her bones ached. Her lungs burned. She was so tired. But she had to run. Inspired by "The Great War" by Taylor Swift .

[mcyt-correct]

Tommy: Shag, marry, kill: me, Jack and Jack

Tubbo: Everything about this is awful... I'd kill myself

[sandinmybed]

so I brought up the Putin/trump/sunak fuck marry kill conundrum from yesterday's video to my 50 year old heterosexual dad when he drove me to work today and he said "obviously kill trump, shag Putin, because he's into all the homoerotic shirtless horseback riding, so that leaves marry sunak"

[sylvienerevarine]

OC in 15

Thanks for the tag @dirty-bosmer! Here are 15 quotes that perfectly sum up Saint Sylvie Moon-and-Star because I'm replaying Morrowind for the millionth time and I love her. I tag @elavoria, @oblivions-dawn, and @stormbeyondreality

I’m already aware that I’m an outlander, thank you! That’s one of the things I do remember!

"But if you don’t mind me asking, Ashkhan, why exactly are your ancestors so aggressive? What is it about being dead that makes one so angry?”

“Wake me up if ash-things invade.”

“I need to be named your potato.”

“He is rather delicious, isn’t he? And he does everything I ask him to. Honestly, I may marry him.”

“I keep having these memories, ones that aren’t mine. I look at Dwemer ruins and I can remember how the air smelled when they were first built. I remember guarding a caravan in Midyear and getting sunburnt to a crisp, and how much everyone laughed. Gods help me, I remember you! I look at that mask and I remember the face that used to be under it, back before you lost your reason.”

“You’ve always been like this, Voryn. Always saying the end justifies the means.”

“Let me sum up. Last year I got released from prison for a crime I can’t remember–in fact, I don’t remember anything before prison–and got dumped onto the shores of Morrowind for no discernible reason. Got about twelve new jobs, found out I might well be the reincarnation of a saint whose former best friend and wife I had to kill, and discovered that it is extremely difficult to reform House Telvanni from the inside, despite how charming their mushroom houses are. If that sounds stressful, Titus, that’s because it is . So essentially, I’m here to escape my responsibilities.”

“What I did in Morrowind was not for the Empire. My friends were suffering, and their homeland was being destroyed, so I helped them. If I helped the Empire as well, fine, but I can’t say I particularly care.”

“B’vek, I can’t leave you people alone for five minutes, can I?”

“Welcome to Tel Uvirith! Not my first choice for a name, I’ll admit. I would have chosen something more witty, like Tel Ekinesis."

“You’re as bad as the Great Houses. Rules, rules, rules, even when some poor woman is being treated like dirt in your own home!"

���I’ve existed for hundreds of years and traveled countless places, but nothing beats a good old glass of sujamma.”

“I couldn’t cope with the political squabbling and endless pressure, so I ran away, and by the time I came back it was too late. Be better than me, Sophrine. Don’t run away.”

“There’s a clever girl. Sort out your life, go get your fellow, and shag his brains out.”

[raina-at]

Date

There’s a few things in life theoretical knowledge can’t prepare you for. On top of the list, or very near it, is the actual experience of raising a child. The daily, hourly experience of living with a child isn’t comparable to anything else, and it can’t be properly described in words.

Sherlock loves Rosie to distraction. But, it has to be said, if there was a world championship of accidental cockblocking, she would medal without breaking a sweat. 

That adorable, wonderful, funny, smart little girl can ruin the mood so quickly Sherlock would honestly be impressed if he wasn’t simultaneously so frustrated he can barely see straight.

John lovingly calls her the world’s most effective chastity belt, and Sherlock agrees wholeheartedly.

Sherlock thinks this might be the reason most couples wait a few years before having children. 

Unfortunately, he and John never did anything in the right order. They fell in love pretty much on sight, then spent ten years being stupid. In between Sherlock pretend died, then (almost) died for real, John got married, had a kid, the wife died, John moved back in, Sherlock became a second father, and then, finally, they started shagging. 

Only they never had a sex holiday, because they have a Gremlin they can’t inflict on anyone for a week to just bugger off and shag each other’s brains out. Not yet, anyway. Molly’s offered, but their schedules have not aligned yet. Sherlock hopes it will happen soon.

The last few weeks were especially harrowing. Sherlock was in Cardiff for a week for a boring case, and when he came back, he was busily snogging John against the refrigerator when Rosie came down from her room and vomited all over the sitting room carpet. 

If there’s anything that kills the mood faster than a vomiting four-year-old, Sherlock never wants to encounter it.

Of course they both got sick as well, and for the better part of a week, even the thought of anyone touching any part of Sherlock that wasn’t his forehead or his hand was frankly revolting.

Then Rosie dislocated her shoulder and had to stay home from daycare for a solid week. They were both so exhausted every evening that whoever had bedtime duty that night routinely fell asleep in Rosie’s bed before Rosie did. 

But now. 

Now Rosie’s at Molly’s. They had a lovely date night, with dinner at Angelo’s and a walk through Regent’s Park in the moonshine, and Sherlock is a tiny bit tipsy from the wine and from banked arousal. He’s got John backed against the sitting room door, and they’re snogging leisurely. John’s hands have found their way into his clothes, one hand is caressing his arse, the other trailing up his spine. 

“The things I want to do to you,” John mutters, grinning at Sherlock, wicked and full of promise.

“Oh, I have a list as well,” Sherlock replies, biting at John’s throat.

John moans, letting his head fall back against the door, exposing more of his skin to Sherlock’s hungry mouth. “I hope getting me out of my clothes before I go completely crazy is on that list,” he breathes, the hand on Sherlock’s arse pulling their hips together. He’s got a leg slung around Sherlock’s and is dreamily rubbing his erection against Sherlock’s thigh. 

“In a minute,” Sherlock mutters, going back to biting at John’s neck. John smells delicious there, like fresh air and a bit of sweat and his cologne.

The door to 221 opens, closes and someone ascends the stairs.

Sherlock sighs. “Fuck off, Lestrade,” he yells through the closed door.

John giggles a bit, hiding his face in Sherlock’s shirt. Sherlock smiles. That’s his favourite thing in the world, a happy, aroused, giggly John Watson, all his to do with as he pleases. He kisses the laugh from John’s lips.

There’s a knock at the door. Right behind John’s shoulder blades. 

“He said fuck off, Lestrade,” John says, freeing his lips briefly from Sherlock’s before diving right back again for another deep, dirty, single-minded kiss. 

“Listen, chaps, I get it, but the Lambeth strangler’s resurfaced. We need to move on this now.”

Sherlock draws back from the kiss. “How do you know it’s him?” he asks, holding John in place as he makes a move to withdraw his hands from their various places on Sherlock’s person. 

“Red string, candles, the works. It’s the same man, Sherlock. It’s not a copycat, we’re sure.”

Sherlock sighs. They’ve been after the strangler for years. Sherlock has never had the opportunity to see a fresh crime scene. 

“It’s okay,” John says, quietly, so Lestrade won’t hear through the door. “I understand. This is important.”

Sherlock meets John’s eyes. John looks disappointed, but he knows ending a date with chasing a serial killer is as traditional for them as sex is for other couples.

The case is alluring. Surely at least an eight. It’s important.

But so is John.

“Lestrade,” Sherlock says, leaning in and nosing along John’s neck while speaking, “walk away now, no questions asked, and give us one hour, no questions asked, and I’ll take the next five cases you’re offering, no questions asked.”

There’s a noticeable pause, then Lestrade says, quietly, “One hour.”

They hear him walk down the stairs and the door to 221 closes behind him.

“Delaying a serial killer crime scene for a whole hour, for me?” John mutters, grinning at Sherlock, bright and happy. “Now I know you love me.”

“Some people need a lot of convincing,” Sherlock mutters, sinking his teeth into John’s neck.

“Take me to bed,” John says, winding his hands into Sherlock’s hair. “And convince me some more.”

Here. Fluff and sexytimes like I promised!

Thank you so much @calaisreno for the tag and the prompt.

Tagging a few people: @jrow @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels @meetinginsamarra @lisbeth-kk @khorazir @discordantwords @thetimemoves @the-reading-lemon @7-percent and anyone else who wants to play.

Also, I'm collecting all my ficlets on AO3 here.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Just really close roommates?

You guys wanted Rosekiller :D

Year One:

"McGonagall's a hardass," Barty grumbles, collapsing back on the foot of Evan's bed, rolling his eyes. "Twenty-four inches in two days? I'm going to die."

He realizes too late that Evan is giving him a weird look, probably because he has just invaded his personal space. "Erm, sorry," he apologizes, sitting up and making to move off of the bed.

"Nah," Evan shrugs, grinning. "Too right. She's a bitch."

And Barty laughs.

Year Two:

"-and then Father said he'd rather I have been sorted in any other house than Slytherin," Barty says shrugging.

Evan, from his usual space at the head of the bed, kicks Barty's shoulder with his foot. "Your father's a prick."

Barty just snorts from his spot by Evan's feet. "Yeah. Fuck him."

Year Three:

"Alright. Marry, shag, kill..." he begins his turn, searching around his brain for the perfect three girls. He's wedged next to Evan in his bed, shoulder-to-shoulder, looking at the canopy above them.

"Shag, Narcissa Black. Every time. But don't tell Regulus," Evan smirks.

Barty cackles, ignoring a weird feeling in his stomach.

Year Four

His head is in Evan's lap, the taller boy's long fingers combing through his hair. "I took that bird to Hogsmeade," Evan offers as they lay there.

"She put out?" Barty askes, grinning.

Evan winks. "That's between me and the broom cupboard."

"Slag."

But he feels a strange pang in his chest.

Year Five

"You're an idiot," Evan says, rolling his eyes as Barty leans back into his chest.

"She's the idiot. She wants me to skip hanging out with you lot? For what?"

"Your anniversary!" Evan almost yells, shaking Barty with his laughter.

"One month hardly counts," Barty argues, rolling his eyes and leaning into Evan's hands in his hair. It makes him feel better. Calmer.

Year Six

"Honestly never would have though it'd be Reg who'd be the first of us to settle down," Barty quips, laying next to Evan, tangling their legs together.

"He's a romantic at heart," Evan jokes back.

"Don't let him hear you say that. I won't protect you," Barty warns, grinning.

"Like I need your protection," Evan says, nudging him.

He pushes back, making the taller boy yelp a bit, grab him to stop himself from toppling off the small bed. And then suddenly, without even thinking about it, they're rolling. And Barty is, without even really knowing how he got there, laying on top of Evan.

"I-" he begins to say, not sure what to say, because his body is hot, now, his chest pressing to Evan, his voice stuck in his throat.

But Evan just laughs awkwardly and places his hands on Barty's hips gingerly, rolling them both back on their sides.

The only thing that gives Barty some hope that Evan is just as confused as he is?

He leaves his hands there for a few minutes as they continue to talk.

Year Seven

"It'll be weird, huh? To not have this next year." Evan says it so casually, but the statement stabs Barty in the chest as he lays on top of Evan, their bodies pressed together.

"Suppose...suppose we lived together?" he whispers, unable to speak any louder for fear of rejection.

Evan chuckles. "You still want to be roommates? After dealing with me for seven years?"

It's only then that it all comes violently colliding into place in Barty's head.

Roommates?

No.

No.

He does not want to be roommates with Evan.

So he takes a deep, steadying breath and murmurs, "Maybe...maybe really close roommates?" he asks, unable to find the words for what he wants.

But before Evan can open his mouth to ask for clarification, his bemused expression showing Barty that he is definitely confused, Barty leans in and kisses him.

And the kiss is insane. It is intense and passionate and all tongue and teeth and they're already pressed so tightly together that Barty realizes he's been a total idiot for not doing this sooner.

Evan pulls back for a minute, eyes wide and pupils blown and whispers with a chuckle, "Really close roommates, huh?"

"Fuck off, you arse."

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"So, where's my future husband, today?"

Regulus frowned. It was rather funny to hear a fifteen year old girl say that.

"Sirius is not your future husband" Regulus grunted "And don't touch that!" he exclaimed as he took some ornament away from her hands.

More than a fifteen year old, this girl acted like she had five.

Lovegood's niece turned out to be a nightmare. Another thing that Regulus had to take care of after Sirius left. Another responsibility that Regulus had to face. Babysitting practically while the "real adults" partied downstairs.

Of course Grandfather Pollux was looking a potential wife for Sirius. He just turned eighteen. And one of the duties of being the Heir was to marry well and have little heirs of his own.

As they were in the 19th century, for God's sake. That's when Regulus thanked to be invisible for everyone in this family. No one was looking for potential girlfriends to introduce him. Thank God!

If only Grandfather Pollux knew Sirius was probably shagging a boy right now. Lupin, nevertheless. And that he didn't want anything to do with this family anymore. That he said he would never return. That he would never be the Heir.

Orion and Walburga had done well covering for his absence so far. Planning ways to make him return. But Grandfather Pollux was going to be furious when he found out.

And guess who was the replacement in case something went wrong?

"You're just jealous because I am marrying Sirius and not you" the girl put her hands on her hips defiantly.

Regulus for a stupid unknowable reason went red.

He scoffed "As if! I rather die alone than ever getting the chance of marrying you"

Of marrying anyone really.

"Well, good luck I got the most handsome brother then..." she spat, Regulus took a deep breath "Although Uncle told me that if I don't marry Sirius, I have to marry you!"

Regulus blinked in shock. What??? No no no no no.... Not with her!!

The girl was amused to Regulus's reaction.

"What's on the third floor?" she asked and immediately ran up the stairs. "This house is enormous!"

This bloody girl had more energy than a kangaroo.

God, what if she broke something? Or worse... Got into Sirius’s room. Regulus was going to kill her.

"Hey!! Wait here!" he said as he ran upstairs after her.

"You better make your brother marry me if you don't want me as your wife. I am telling you we would get along horribly!"

She kept climbing and climbing the stairs, giggling like a little girl. Jesus fucking Christ.

"Pandoraaaa!" Regulus ran after her "Pandora Lovegood!!! Come hereeee!"

Regulus was going to murder her and send her back to America when he reached her.

Noo with this girl, Nooo!

[idobebeinggay]

I definitely did not watch the second half of bridgerton 3 this morning when i was intending to revise.

But actually I have now watched it for the actual plot. (Sped through the scenes) will go back and watch for the plot later.

But i have thoughts. Many.

…. Will update in a moment i am actually going to revise

I’m back. So spoilers from here on out

1) POLIN POLIN POLIN YAY SO CUTE AAAA

that ending was actually too cute. I hope we still have Julie Andrews tho, unless she wants to actually retire in which case more power to her xxx do what you want queen.

PENELOPE BRIDGERTON YES

Portia move from being a bad mum to pen to being a bad mum to the other two. That tracks. Their ball was so sweet i actually love them now. (Am coming round to prudence)

2) VIOLET!!! I love her so sweet, her and Marcus!!! Also I love u lady Danbury but u have no leg to stand on u shagged her dad. Generally love her have thoughts for an other post as well.

3) hyacinth and Gregory being people!! Loving their blooming personalities!

4) John is so cute!!! He’s so great I love him. Him and Francesca are cute.

4.5) MICHAELA??? Ok so I love the gender swap, saw someone suggest they might do it but DIDNT THINK THEY ACTUALLY WOULD. But I hope we don’t get any actual like falling for her until after John’s … ya know. Orr never kill him and her and Eloise can get together. That might be my preference. But I did enjoy the gay panic. I just hope we don’t get any cheating and that John and Francesca can have an actually loving cute relationship. So I might have preferred if we didn’t meet her until later??

5) Eloise is going to Scotland??? Ngl my creloise heart is broken but still confused.com.

I get the vibe they might not end her with Philip?? Kinda hope not. Sooo maybe she learns about queerness from Michaela, I honestly don’t see them as endgame?(from the 3 seconds) also I kinda jumped up and ran a round when Michaela appeared so may readjust after rewatching.

6) Benedict my love.

7) CONFIRMED BI BENEDICT LIVING THE BI BENEDICT DREAM

Honestly just take away the other guy and put me in and it’s my literal dream. I will not stop thinking about g about this ever again. I love Tilley I’m so glad they didn’t make her evil or something. Her and Benedict…………….. is affecting my functioning

8) is it gonna be his season next??

It has to be right? We’ve got Antony, Benedict, Colin, Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, hyacinth. Of which Antony married check. Colin married. Check. Daphne married check. Francesca married yup has to have a year or so b4 she has her actual season??? Right, Eloise I got the vibe that she’s not quite there yet??? Right?? Gregory and hyacinth are still kids. So we all knew it’s Eloise or my love. Right??

OMG I HYST THOUGHT MAYBE HE DOESNT ACTUALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED FOR THE FIRST LIKE BUNCH OF THE SERIES BUT MEETS SOPHIE AND FALLES IN LOVE AND CANT HELP HIMSELF!!!!!!

Ok that makes sense now.

I might have more thoughts after my rewatch….