#sexuality and the church

[technically-human]

Confessional... things get complicated when you're a ghost.

@i-am-as-normal-as-you-are asked for, and this is a literal quote, "R!Edwin going to a confessional (full angst)" so yeah... full angst indeed.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.

Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).

Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.

Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.

Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.

The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.

Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.

[i-used-to-be-an-anti-feminist]

I am not anti-marriage, but I have to say I am personally losing my faith in it. The number of marriages that look healthy and supportive to me are so few. All the time, I am seeing women give everything to their husbands only to be belittled by them and joked and complained about when they become overwhelmed. I am seeing men become increasingly more radicalized by online misogyny and treating their wives with even less respect. As they age and need more love and support, they are getting less and being treated as a commodity that's been used up and has no value anymore. This is happening to varying degrees around me, and I'm just definitely never going to risk sharing my life with a man only to find out his love wasn't real when I'm going through menopause.

[hunnam]

[silverskye13]

I love how the church kinda treats tanguish like the community cat that just vibes and get really worried when he vanishes they love their gargoyle

To use a cut quote from a cut chapter: "It's a church. They keep track of their regular visitors, especially the ones that never come inside.”

They worry! I feel like the Order or Remembrance would, even more so than others, just because it's their job to remember. I imagine there was a bit of panic when the anonymous Gargoyle vanished, and everyone collectively realized they'd never asked his name, or managed to corner him long enough to invite him inside.

Honestly the next chapter or so is really scratching an itch for me, as far as church communities go. It's been a hot minute since I was last at a church that I really connected with a church [I live in a very conservative area and the churches here aren't very friendly to my current views] but when I was a kid, the sense of community that came with church was very nice. People genuinely cared if members of the congregation, even ones who didn't come often, disappeared for prolonged periods of time. I haven't been to my childhood church in over 10 years, but sometimes when members see me around town, they still run up and talk to me and ask me how I've been.

[cheerfullycatholic]

I hope someday kids don't have to fear coming out to their Catholic families. I hope someday they're raised being taught the whole truth, that while actions are sinful and the Church cannot condone them, feelings and temptations are not, and that God doesn't love them any less for something they can't control. I hope when they start to feel these things their immediate reaction isn't "oh no, my parents will kill me if they find out" but, "I need to talk about this with my parents". I hope someday it's no longer treated as the worst thing a person could be, or something that needs to be hidden. I hope someday they don't feel unwelcome by their parish, that they know they belong there just as much as anyone else. I hope someday they're taught that a celibate life is not a punishment, but a beautiful way to live a holy life- not just for lgbt people, but for anyone who chooses it, and that it's no longer looked at as a lesser option. I hope someday they can confidently turn to their loved ones for support and guidance, and not have to carry this alone. I hope someday lgbt Catholics are loved in the Church like God loves them.

[broadway-and-books-love]

Johnny and Ponyboy were each other’s first loves and definitely knew it in that church, in this essay I will

[holysaintscathedral]

Not to be a pick me on main but constantly berating your attraction to men and saying it's a curse to be attracted to men and "ew who would ever choose a man" doesn't seem all that healthy for your mental well being and your relationship with your own sexuality.

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

So-called Christians still whining about the Olympic opening ceremony supposedly "insulting Christianity", but none of them gave a fuck about Israel bombing the oldest Church in Gaza months ago.

[daziechane]

Consent, autonomy, kids, and ourselves

Not gonna lie, it's going to get weird for the next few years. "Grab 'em by the pussy" will not only be locker room talk but the law of the land. It's time to prepare and protect our kids and ourselves.

But how?

Register your kids, ALL YOUR KIDS, and yourselves for an OWL class.

Our Whole Lives is a series of six comprehensive sexuality curricula for children, teenagers, young adults and adults published by the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ Justice and Witness Ministries.[1][2] Publication was the result of seven years of collaborative effort by the two faiths to prepare material which addresses sexuality throughout the lifespan in age-appropriate ways.

The Our Whole Lives program operates under the idea that well informed youth and young adults make better, healthier decisions about sexuality than those without complete information. OWL strives to be unbiased and teaches about heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, and transgender sexual health. In addition to information on sex, OWL is intended to help children, youth, and adults to be emotionally healthy and responsible in terms of their sexuality.[3] (x)

TL;DR: OWL is a comprehensive, lifespan sexuality education curriculum that promotes healthy, informed, and inclusive attitudes about sexuality, relationships, and identity. Designed for various age groups, OWL emphasizes self-worth, sexual health, responsibility, and justice in a values-based framework.

Lifespan you say? So, you're teaching little kids about condoms and anal?

No, you eejit. Each curriculum approaches topics differently based on the age of participants. The K-1 curriculum, for example, looks at bodily autonomy, family, trusted adults, and that a sperm, egg, and uterus are required to make a baby.[6][7] The curriculum for older adults, on the other hand, might discuss aging, disability, dating as an older person, and body image.[7] (x)

But it's religious and I'm not.

Look- I'm a heathen, and proudly so. And I'm a trained OWL facilitator. This curriculum is designed to be offered with a liberal religious component or without. Find one that works for you. There's no proselytizing, no guilt, no judgement.

I have a ton of kids; how do I know which class is best for each one?

Each of the seven curricula speak to participants' needs, by age group: - grades K-1 - grades 4-6 - grades 7-9 - grades 10-12 - young adults - adults - older adults (x)

I don't want someone else teaching my kids sex ed. I'll be able to handle it when it comes.

OWL is designed to augment what you teach your kids. In fact, one of the things that each class starts with is an adult orientation that affirms parents and guardians as their children's primary sexuality educators.

I already know everything.

No. You don't. Trust.

I'm not in the USA. What is there for me and my family?

There are Unitarian Universalist organizations in Europe that may offer OWL. OWL has been offered in the Philippines. I don't know about elsewhere, but I'd be happy to help you find something if you're outside the US. If nothing else, you can download the Books and Media Recommendation list and start the discussion with your kids yourself.

I'm still unsure.

That's ok. Here's a short video that will give you an idea of how topics are presented, even to the little ones:

I'm not telling you how to raise your kids or how to act as your own grown-ass adult. I am suggesting that we're all going to need all the tools in our toolboxes to make it through the next few years and the rest of our lives. Here are some more for you to use.

Let me know if you have any questions. I want to help.

[lewmagoo]

Okay okay, inquiring minds (me, obv) want to know. If you write m/m for Rhett is he topping or bottoming?

since this would be the first time rhett has ever done anything with another man, he is bottoming for sure. he’s definitely a more submissive leaning bottom as he’s beginning to explore his sexuality (outside of being with women), because he isn’t that confident yet, so he needs someone to ease him into it and sort of take the reins. he’s spent so long repressing this part of himself so he needs that gentle encouragement. anyway. catch me waxing poetic about rhett coming to terms with his sexuality and embracing who he is 🙂‍↕️ after that though, once he processes all those repressed feelings, he is down for anything, topping, bottoming, dom, sub, etc. he just needs some time to warm up to it all

[i-am-trans-gwender]

Finding out that Hozier's "Take Me To Church" is about how Churches suppress natural sexuality, especially queer sexuality, was honestly a big surprise. Growing up in a Conservative Christian environment I was forced to hear that song so much that the song coming on feels like a Rick Roll. In retrospect the lyrics are so obvious how can any one think it's Pro traditional Christian values?

"Every Sunday's gettin' more bleak a fresh poison each week" 

"If I'm a pagan of the good times my lover's the sunlight"

"No masters or kings when the ritual begins. There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin"

[icebluecyanide]

I'm on s4 of my The Americans rewatch and that scene when Philip has to tell Gabriel about how he's been going to EST and Gabriel and Elizabeth sort of gang up on him like what, do you want to talk about your feelings, Philip? Do you want to talk to a therapist? Why don't you just repress your emotions like the rest of us?? is so funny