#seriously fuck batman

[kay-enemy]

I thought I might make a way for people to contact me outside of comments on my fics. I am KNMI on AO3 and I mostly write pro-Red Hood, anti Batman fics

(um, if you have seen another tumblr for the same AO3 account... shut up no you didn't. I was drunk that day and sober Kay can't figure out the password to that account)

(I am drunk tonight too, but hopefully google remembers this password)

[sporkberries]

Robin(1993) is a comic where things happen

[lycheeloving]

more fake texts :)

Dad to the rescue!

[notfeelingthyaster]

the way the older batboys cope with relationship trauma is that tim is a serial dater (cannot, will not, be single, would rather swallow glass, name the last time he was single), jason is a serial kisser (what's the name when you're not dating you're just kissing people? in brazil we call it "staying", like when you go out clubbing and kiss 10+ randoms) and dick is a serial cheater (i've said what i said)

[necrotic-nephilim]

I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.

batman (1940) #618

And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.

batman (1940) #650

It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?

When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.

[batbrainrot]

in three jokers when jason is about shot shoot joker and babs tries to stop him and they're fighting and she throws a batarang at him but misses and he kills the mf and babs is like jason wtf and they're arguing and she says "i didn't want this" and he's like "oh fr? when was the last time you missed?" is still one of my favorite moment in comics ever btw. like if you even care.

[about-faces]

This is HUGELY helpful for all the Batman viewers who have never heard of the Joker.

[medusagorgongirl1]

I think that Kon would adore Tim's muscles. Like I think there's a lot about Tim that Kon would love, but I think the muscles really get him going. Like I'm picturing the core four as adults, on some sort of reunion type of mission (they were all free and had nothing better to do) and naturally it was some mountain mud slide monster thing near happy harbor but it was messy as fuck and they are all in the changing room getting ready for the most well deserved shower of their lives. And Kon's about to ask Tim if this is the second time this week that this has happened to him because there was something in the news about clayface but

He fucking bluescreens.

Because Tim

He's taking off his shirt

And don't Kon wrong in their long friendship they've seen each other in various states of work related nudity. But like

This is different.

Because Tim is all muscle. His torso is all thick muscles rippling as he takes off his shirt and when in the hell did that happen? Where is noodly string beaness?

Oh god his arms

Tim used to be skinny but now he's all muscle. But not muscle like Kon's. Kon has 'perpetually flexed looks like the dehydrated movie star washboard abs' muscles. But Tim's muscles have been forged from work. They aren't artificial. They're from Tim's determination to be apart of the hero world.

Tim once confided in Kon when they were younger that Tim's body type didn't put on muscle easily. That despite his best efforts his body did it all it could to remain thin and skinny. That Tim has to constantly exercise to keep his muscles. And

Goddddd, how much training did Tim have to put in to look like that now? Kon's genuinely losing his mine. Because Tim's muscles aren't the ideal model look, they really look like they were forged from effort. They're solid and thick and god Kon is resisting the urge to ask Tim how much he can bench press and silently questioning if Tim could even carry him

Oh god

Tim's raisng an eyebrow at kon and Kon's not at all subtle gawking. Shitshitshitshit

"You got buff" Is all Kon can manage. If possible Tim's eyebrow has raised further. "

I train?" Tim responds obviously baffled

Fuckfuckfuckufckufck

"You just, uh, got bigger" Kon forces out with a desperate awkward smile rocking on the balls of his feet and definitely did not get distracted by Tim's pecs Midway through Because that would be fucking irrational shut up.

"Okay" Tim dismisses giving Kon one last piercing "I'm blatantly psycho-analyzing the shit out of you because your behavior is very baffling" gaze.

Kon definitely isn't practically sweating. Fucking christ why Tim, why of all times did he choose now to be very obviously hot. Kon is a simple boy, there is only so much one can repress the homoerotic feeling ones has for their best friend before they fucking explode.

Tim breaks his gaze, giving up on his search of 'what the fuck is up with Kon' before returning to gathering his towel and moving out of the changing area. Kon nearly let's out a sigh of relief.

OH GOD HIS BACK MUSCLES

Inspired by this panel

[redactedrem]

Tragically saw this on Twitter and immediately came here to show off my cursed screenshots like an undiscovered relic

[violent138]

Alfred, while scrubbing white spray paint off the floor: I know you're rich, but a whiteboard or piece of paper wouldn't have sufficed for your mind map Master Bruce? Had to be the walnut flooring?

[hood-ex]

Remember when Ric told Bruce that every instinct he had was telling him to run away from the batfam lmao. He was straight up just like yeah the person I used to be would probably help you try to keep your little family together but uhhh I don't subscribe to that in my current state. Deuces ✌️.

[wesavegotham]

"Talia can never be redeemed and her romance with Bruce can never come back because *falls for Grant Morrison's/DC's extreme racism towards asian and arab characters in the 2000s/2010s"

Yeah, sorry, but shut the hell up. It never fails to astound me when DC actually tries to fix the mistakes they made with Talia/the al Ghuls in general these last two decades and the fans manage to be even worse than DC by clinging to the blatant racist/sexist writing of the past instead of embracing the turn for the better.

"But she did this and that!"

She's a fictional character in a fictional universe that is aware that it goes through continuity changes/retcons. What Grant Morrison did to her character was a a complete retcon of her 30 year history and characterization with zero respect for her. Why am I supposed to take Morrison's bullshit as gospel and reject any attempts to fix her from writers who know better?

[kierancaz]

MOTHER FUCKER WHAT COLOR ARE JASON TODD’S EYES ?????????????????

[necrotic-nephilim]

fan fact the only canonical world where tim is happy like batman is the future where he and cass are married and share the title

this is from solo #10, last story, written and pencilled by damion scott who was the first main artist of cass's run

THANK YOU FOR THIS OH MY GOD I WANT TO KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH.

i KNEW there was an Elseworlds story i had read where they ended up together!!!! but researching got me NOTHING and i half convinced myself i hallucinated it. i've always made the joke i think it's so funny Tim is the only Robin who's been with all of the Batgirls (Steph in the main timeline, Babs in the Arkhamverse, and Cass in this comic) but when i was trying to find it i doubted myself because i could find NO trace when looking it up, just reference to canon comics where CassTim was heavily implied. damn near gaslit myself.

anyways this whole thing makes me unwell. because i'm of the firm belief Tim could never be happy if he stayed a vigilante his whole life, *especially* if he became Batman. because that is canonically one of his worst fears. it's why i like Tim Drake of Tomorrow (Savior) so much, because it's a personification of those fears and the sort of proof that Tim becoming Batman would set him on a hyper-paranoid overly controlling path he wouldn't come back from. but? the idea that Tim could be happy and healthy as Batman if he was sharing the mantle with Cass? that makes *so* much sense. they represent very different aspects of Batman ('the noble detective' and 'the vengeful knight' pretty aptly display that) and her drivenness and dedication to the Bat as a symbol would be the thing that keeps Tim from falling over that edge. it'd keep him from self-isolating (a thing Tim is known to do when he's falling down a paranoid spiral) and keep him steady. meanwhile he would ground her, make sure she knows she's not alone. that's my only real gripe with Cass as Batman, is that she shouldn't be so alone and 'one man army' the way Bruce is. she needs to keep her support system she worked so hard for. she needs someone to remind her that she's human and treating herself like a weapon 24/7 isn't sustainable, something Tim has tried to get through to her. they're just so good at balancing each other out and DC would never go in the direction of exploring them again, but there was a time it really felt like we were on the cusp of them flourishing as a couple and tbh, i almost feel like we missed out.

[batboopp]

brutalia Come Home

[pricetagofficial]

What the fuck do you mean Bruce Wayne is 24 in Absolute Batman? I WILL NOT BE OLDER THAN SUGAR DADDY BRUCE WAYNE NO WAY