#seriously I need bts of this scene what the fuck

[meraki-yao]

I've been agonizing over this every day since I learnt that according to Matthew, this scene/shot was a spur-of-the-moment decision, and wasn't scripted

I've already screamed my list of questions before (I'm starting to lose track of what I've posted about and what I haven't lmao) but I want to scream about the fucking hand grab today because what the fuck

It's so possessive and loving and it's a reflection of Alex's underlying uncertainty and fear that last night was a dream and that Henry will run away again

But Henry sees the hand around his wrist and he just smiles so lovingly and snuggles further into Alex's embrace

IT'S FUCKING PERFECT

WHO CAME UP WITH THIS???? TAYLOR??? NICK??? MATTHEW??? WHICH ONE OF THEM THOUGHT "YOU KNOW HOW TO FURTHER KILL THE AUDIENCE WITH CUTENESS IN THIS UNSCRIPTED SCENE? A WRIST GRAB" WHICH ONE OF THEM PROPOSED THIS????

Also damn the way that Nick/Henry is a fairly tall and big guy but Taylor/Alex completely circles him with one arm and makes Nick/Henry look small

Also I've read my fair share of fics on this scene where Alex wakes up and starts planting kisses on the back of Henry's neck and now I'm mad that we don't get to see that part visually in the movie 😡

[star-sim]

hopeless ☆ heeseung lee

☆ horrendously down bad! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: absolutely no one would have expected the dark, brooding, and rough heeseung lee to be hopelessly head over heels in love with the sweet, oblivious you. especially you. even with the help of practically the entire year, it's almost pathetic the way heeseung struggles to utter three, simple words to you, let alone look you in the eye. ☆ genre: fluff!!! pining, SUPER WHIPPED HEESEUNG, high school! au, non-idol! au, a lot of 01 liner idols + the rest of enha make appearances, btw this follows the asian school system, SO MUCH FLIRTING OMG, heeseung is kinda pathetic and awk ☆ warning(s)? swearing and dumb characters lol, there is one SA scene, but it is not graphic + very minor violence ☆ word count: 10.8k ☆ this is extremely based off of "danger" by bts, especially the lyric "you're cute, and i'm pathetic" lol enjoy!

Heeseung Lee was stressed. 

No. He was distraught. 

Distraught about how fucking cute you looked today.

Ever since he was a kid, Heeseung loved Halloween, because he loved Trick-or-Treating with his older brother and cousins. However now, at the age of seventeen, he found himself resenting it. Not because there was any issue with the holiday, but because today was Halloween. 

From across the classroom, Heeseung found himself staring, all dazed and empty-headed, at you, who was clad in your cute bunny costume. The way the fluffy, white ears stuck out from the top of your head, as well as the fluffy white coat draped around your shoulders, made you look so soft and cozy and adorable. The way your nose crinkled as you laughed with your friends, sweet sounds coming from your lips as you threw your head back. 

Were you real? How could anyone be so goddamn beautiful and not be an actual angel sent from above? What country did Heeseung save in his past life in order to get to be in your presence in this life?

"Dude, you're staring," a new voice interjected.

"What?" Heeseung tore his eyes away from you. "I wasn't."

Beomgyu Choi was one of Heeseung's classmates. And, like everyone else in their year, Beomgyu knew how enamored Heeseung was with you. Other than yourself, of course.

"I'm tellin' you," Beomgyu plopped down onto his seat, which was beside Heeseung's. He slid his chair so that he would be closer to his classmate, before throwing an arm around Heeseung. "You need to make a move. Like, now."

Heeseung glanced over at his classmate. If he ignored the fake blood on Beomgyu's chin, as well as the fake, plastic vampire teeth and the god-awful Spirit Halloween Dracula cape, he'd know that Beomgyu was 100% correct. 

Everyone (and seriously, everyone) knew that Heeseung Lee had the biggest, juiciest, most obnoxious crush on you. In fact, your own friends had even tasked themselves with the job of putting in a good word for Heeseung, saying things like "Isn't he so cool?" into your ear to hopefully guide you straight into his arms. It's such a well-known fact that some of your teachers have purposefully placed you and Heeseung next to or near each other in order to help him with his more-than-obvious crush. 

With such a big, school-wide effort, it should be expected that at least some progress was made.

Wrong!

Not even a single stroke of progress has been made.

Probably because there was one teensy, weensy, eensy, problem: Heeseung was an absolute mess around you. Heeseung was known as this tall, blunt, and rough guy at school. When he wasn't silently judging everyone, he hung out with his group of friends, who had a reputation for being delinquents. Heeseung Lee, clad in his iconic black leather jacket, was intimidating, and usually had no problem speaking up for himself. But around you? Absolutely not.

If anyone thought that Heeseung Lee could easily speak to you, they were out of their goddamn mind. There were too many instances where your classmates would push Heeseung and you together, only for him to blow it because he was completely incapable of looking you in the eye without turning red. 

In Heeseung's defense, you were the most beautiful person in the world— How is he not supposed to get nervous?

"You know I can't," Heeseung murmured, clenching his fists.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Hee. What happened to banger Heeseung Lee? Heeseung Lee that beats up kids? I didn't think you'd be scared of talking to girls."

"First of all," Heeseung frowned, "I'm not a banger and I don't beat up kids. And also, I'm not scared of talking to girls."

His classmate quirked a brow. "Really?" Heeseung nodded. "Because the last time I remember, you could barely get a word out in front of [Name]."

At the sound of your name, Heeseung jerked in his seat, reaching out to grasp Beomgyu's arm. "Shhhh, don't say her name so loud!" he hissed, eyes quivering over to where you were with your friends.

"What?" Beomgyu looked around indiscreetly. "It's not a secret to anyone how you feel about [Name]."

"Shhhh! Shut up!"

When the bell rang, everyone scurried to their seat, and class began. As Beomgyu tuned out the sound of the teacher's voice, he couldn't help but notice the way Heeseung's eyes were completely glued to you. It was almost laughable, the way the boy's eyes were wide, staring at you like you were some god.

Oh god, Heeseung Lee was hopeless.

"Heeseung-hyung, are you free tomorrow?"

It was lunch time. Heeseung and his friends liked to hang around the rooftop of the school, because it was always empty. And plus, no one wanted to be where Heeseung and his friends were— they were too scary!

Heeseung looked at his younger Australian friend, Jake Sim (or Jaeyun Sim, as his official documents stated), who had just asked that question. Heeseung took a bite of the instant ramen that they bought from the vending machine.

"Yeah, why?"

"Good. Because you have a date with [Name] tomorrow."

Heeseung choked. As he coughed, his other younger friend, Sunoo Kim, let out a whine.

"Hyuuunggg!" Sunoo pouted. "Why'd you tell him?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise!" Riki Nishimura, the group's Japanese foreign exchange student friend, added, elbowing Jake in the ribs.

"Whatever," Jake crossed his arms. When Riki nudged him again, Jake opened his mouth to holler, "Jay, back me up!"

Jongseong "Jay" Park was another one of Heeseung's friends, probably the closest person to him. 

"You guys know Heeseung-hyung is going to fuck it up either way, right?" Jay said. "Remember last time?"

"Yeah," Sunghoon Park joined in. "No matter how much we prepared him, Heeseung-hyung still acted like a fucking idiot."

"I'm right here!" Heeseung shouted, still hitting his chest to dislodge the ramen that he choked on. 

Jungwon Yang, the seventh person in their friend group, put a hand on the older boy's shoulder, his lips lifting up into a half-teasing grin, revealing sharp canine teeth, "Hyung, don't listen to them. I think you'll really impress [Name] tomorrow."

It was Heeseung's turn to elbow Jungwon in the ribs.

When Heeseung finally finished coughing up a storm, his friends were already onto another topic, making plans for the next weekend.

"Hey, hey!" Heeseung grumbled. "Aren't you guys going to explain this so-called 'date with [Name]'?"

"What's there to explain?" Riki said. "You're going on a date with [Name]. End of story."

The eldest of the group's face contorted. "What are you guys even saying—"

"Well, it's not technically a date," Sunghoon said, taking a sip of his juice box. "You're, like, hanging out with [Name] though."

That still didn't answer Heeseung's question. 

"When? Where? What time?" he spluttered, eager for answers.

Jake huffed exasperatedly. "Do we have to explain to you everything? It's not that deep, man."

Jungwon rolled his eyes. "Hyung, [Name]'s friends are the presidents of the Environment and Ecology Club, and there's a social tomorrow. It's like birdhouse painting, or something. [Name] is attending to support her friend, so we signed you up, too."

"Birdhouse painting?!" Sunoo's features morphed into confusion. "I thought they were making bracelets?"

"No, I thought there were weaving baskets?" Riki frowned.

"Whatever it is, it sounds lame as hell," Jay remarked.

Jungwon rolled his eyes again, earning a punch on his arm. "Whatever it is, it'll be a great opportunity for you to talk to [Name]." 

The younger boy offered Heeseung a reassuring smile, only to receive a pensive one in return.

When classes resumed, Heeseung felt light-headed and distracted the entire time as he processed the fact that he was going to be around you tomorrow.

Oh god, he sounded like a total loser. Did the mere thought of being in your presence make him nervous? Yes, yes it did. You were just so pretty and sweet, he had no idea what to do. Poor boy, his teeth dug into his bottom lip, clammy palms pressing into the underside of his desk. His knee bounced, and there was absolutely no way that he could even make out a single word the teacher was saying.

Heeseung was going to pass out. 

"Hey, Heeseung?"

That's your voice. It was so pretty and nice on his ears. Was he in heaven? He wouldn't be surprised if your voice was the voice of an angel.

"Heeseung?"

Heeseung was convinced that he was in heaven now. What he wouldn't do to hear your voice every second of his life.

"Heeseung!" another voice interjected. That's what snapped Heeseung out of his daze. Too deep in his head, Heeseung hadn't noticed that the class period ended, and the short passing period had already begun.

At his desk stood Yunjin Huh, Minjeong "Winter" Kim, and... oh my god... you. The three of you had somewhat matching Halloween costumes: Yunjin was a gray mouse, Winter was a cat, and you were a bunny. And now that he looked at it, you all were holding a bag of candy.

While your two friends were giving him the"Are you serious?" looks, you looked at him with wide, kind eyes.

"Heeseung?" your beautiful voice said, fingers reaching into the candy bag that you were holding. "Would you like candy?"

He stared at you. You were giving out candy to everyone in class because it was Halloween... You're such an angel... What did the world do to deserve you...

Winter stepped on Heeseung's foot, snapping him out of his daze once again. The boy let out a small yelp in pain, and as the embarrassment settled in, he heard you let out a small giggle, lips raising up to show off your teeth.

Oh my god, he was going to die.

"Y-Yeah," he stammered out, cursing himself internally. Heeseung couldn't help but feel everyone in class's gaze glued to him. When you handed him a piece of candy, your hand brushed up against his. Heeseung could feel his ears becoming hot, the warmth rising to his neck.

You smiled at him, before saying in a sing-songy voice, "Happy Halloween!"

Heeseung had to force himself not to stare like an absolute fool.

He was really hopeless.

hee: jay i don't think i can do it tomorrow

It was 2AM when Heeseung texted Jay. He spent the entire night thinking about the "date" (probably the least necessary word at the moment), and he simply couldn't sleep.

Heeseung had embarrassed himself too many times in front of you. Like that one time you and him were on cleaning duty together, and he was so distracted by you that he tripped over a bucket of water. Or that one time he sat next to you for a few weeks and his shoes kept squeaking against the floor, making it look like he was farting. Or when he tried to look cool and suave in front of you at some social your friends invited him to only to rip a hole in his pants. And then what happened today... He could not embarrass himself again.

hee: like i think i'm going to die if she sits next to me tomorrow

It was only a matter of seconds when his friend texted back.

jay: you'll be fine trust

Heeseung frowned.

hee: stop lying to me

hee: you know how i am around her

jay: i believe in you

jay: like srsly

hee: that's blind faith

Jay typed for a little bit, before stopping altogether. Heeseung huffed. Did his friend just leave him on read? A few minutes later Jay sent a Wikihow article.

'How to talk to your crush,' it was aptly named. Heeseung deadpanned.

hee: are you being fr right now

jay: give [name] your sexy heeseung charm and you'll be walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her in no time

jay: read the article btw

How was this guy an actual person?

hee: kill yourself

jay: give her that passionate, sexy, boiling hot, hotter-than-the-sun, steaming hot heeseung that makes her just want to come up to you and give you the fattest, juiciest kiss on the mouth, i know you can do it soldier

hee: DIE

Heeseung couldn't sleep all night.

At school, the entire day was just plagued with anxiety for what was to come. It didn't help that your friends kept turning around and giving him knowing looks throughout the day. When school finally let out, Heeseung went to the classroom where the birdhouse-painting-bracelet-making-basket-weaving social would be held. His friends told him to go there the moment that school ended, but when he came, there was literally no one there.

Until someone yanked him into the classroom.

"Hey!-" he yelped, before the door slammed. In front of him stood two people that he recognized: Sumin Bae and Sieun Park, two of your friends who also coincidentally were the co-presidents of the Environment and Ecology club.

Sumin cocked a brow at him, crossing her arms. "I hope you're not as hopeless as everyone says you are."

Heeseung opened his mouth to respond, but Sieun cut him off.

"Ugh, that doesn't matter," she pinched her nose-bridge. "We told [Name] to sit near the front, so you better sit there, too."

"Right-" 

Sumin cut him off, too.

"[Name]'s favorite color is pink, and her favorite Sanrio character is Keroppi," Sumin asserted. "And she really likes things that are cute, so like fruit patterns, hearts, stars, yada yada."

Heeseung blinked at them. "And this is relevant how...?"

Sumin and Sieun shared a look.

"You are completely hopeless."

As it turned out, they were giving him details about design-elements that you liked, so that Heeseung could somehow impress you with his birdhouse painting abilities (Jungwon was right, it was birdhouse painting). After info-dumping on him, they kicked him out of the classroom to actually prepare for the social.

As Heeseung was pushed out of the classroom, he bumped into someone. Just as he was about to say, "Watch where you're going," he realized that it was you. 

"Oh, hi, Heeseung!" you greet him cheerfully, your eyes pressing into thin slits as you smile. 

Quick! What does he do? "Hi... [Name]."

"Are you here for the social, too?" The way your eyes gazed at him made him feel shy already.

"Y-Yeah...."

"I didn't know you were interested in the Environment and Ecology club..." You remarked, and Heeseung panicked— Was it obvious that he was here exclusively for you?— but what you said next made him sigh in relief. "That's great! I'm so happy that I finally have someone familiar with me here!"

He's going to faint.

When the social began, you invited him to sit next to you. Heeseung felt stiff as he sat beside you, watching the way that you happily painted your small, wooden birdhouse. Heeseung wanted to start a conversation with you, but each time he thought of something to say, his voice caught in his throat. Sumin and Sieun had given him two dirty looks already, so he needed to make a move now or their efforts would be in vain.

"W-What's that?" he finally stuttered out, pointing to the glob of green on your birdhouse. 

You laugh airily, leaning closer to him so that he can see it better. "Can you guess?"

Heeseung tries to concentrate on guessing, but it's hard when you're close to him. Quick! What's green and something that you like?

"Is that... K-Keroppi?"

"Yeah!" Your face lit up, flashing him a cheeky grin. You nudged him with your elbow, raising your brows at him playfully. "Awww, Hee, you smarty pants! How'd you know?"

Hee?

OhmygodohmygodohmygodyoucalledhimHee.

You stopped laughing, pulling away from him. "Sorry, do you not like being called Hee? Beomgyu sometimes calls you that, so I thought-"

"No, I like it!" Heeseung blurted, a little louder than he wanted to, earning a few questioning looks from people around him. The boy felt abnormally warm, embarrassed at his outburst. "I-I'm okay with you calling me that..."

"Noted!" you said, before your lips curled upward. "Now... are you going to tell me how you could tell that this green blob was Keroppi?"

"Oh uhm..." Heeseung's lips were moving faster than his head, "Y-You dressed up as Keroppi last year for Halloween with Yunjin."

Almost like you were a cartoon character, you perked up at his statement. "You remember?"

Of course he did. How could he forget? You wore a cartoonishly-big red bow around your neck like Keroppi, and had a green Keroppi-style headband. You looked adorable, especially when you went around showing off a Keroppi keychain that you got at the Cinnamoroll Cafe in Hongdae to anyone that was willing to listen.

Heeseung found himself chuckling. "Of course I'd remember your massive red bow."

You stared at him for a few moments, before a bashful grin broke out on your face. You then buried your face in your hands, letting out a groan. "Ughhhh, that's so embarrassing!"

"How?"

It's going good so far, Heeseung thought. Just don't mess it up!

You pouted cutely, your bottom lip jutting out. In the light, he could see the gloss shining off of it so prettily. "My makeup was so fucked up last year, ughhh, it looked so bad."

You? Look bad? Impossible.

"What are you talking about?" Heeseung asked, his doe-like eyes scanning your embarrassed face. "I thought you looked cute."

You stared at him. It took a few pulses for Heeseung to realize what he just said. His face instantly turned three shades warmer and panic was evident in his expression.

"I-I mean— You jus—You were really—"

He shut his mouth when you began laughing. Laughing so hard that you clutched onto his knee, keeling over yourself. His cheeks burned.

You're laughing at him, aren't you? Did he fuck up?

When you noticed the sulky expression on his face, you stopped laughing.

"Sorry, Hee," you said, giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. "It's just... You look so intimidating, when you're really just a sweetheart."

If Heeseung was red before, he was quietly literally the color of a tomato. It was a wonder that the entire room’s temperature didn’t rise given the sheer amount of heat radiating off his person.

"A s-sweetheart?"

"Yeah!" you happily respond. "You're just the cutest, y'know? Like a little puppy."

As much as Heeseung wanted to die happily now that you called him cute, he needed to keep this conversation going. Sucking in a sharp breath, the boy looked at you in the eyes. "W-Well I think the same about you... [Name]."

You looked at him curiously, so he continued, his voice soft and sheepish, "I... also think that you're the cutest."

You blinked at him a few times, before the widest smile that he'd ever seen spread across your cheeks, stretching ear to ear. If only Heeseung wasn't too busy grappling with his shyness, he'd notice the way you let out a soft, bashful giggle, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut to keep yourself from being too visibly flustered. Slowly, with all the courage that you had left in you, you raised your hand and placed it on Heeseung's head. You ruffled his soft locks, gushing, "God, you're so cute, Heeseung!"

The rest of the social is filled with soft chatter between the two of you, but Heeseung was honestly too captivated by you to notice the time passing. With his heart on his sleeve, and a sloppily-painted birdhouse in his hands, Heeseung mentally high-fived himself.

Heeseung's friends never heard the end of it. The moment that he got home, Heeseung spammed their groupchat, giving them paragraphs and paragraphs of the events that ensued.

hee: and then she called me cute. like CUTE CUTE, not even like she was alluding it, she used the word CUTE

hee: oh my god i think i'm gonna faint

His friends don't have it in them to flame him. After all, this was progress.

Unbeknownst to him, you were feeling the same things. Everyone knew that Heeseung liked you, except yourself. You had the opposite case: you've had the biggest crush on Heeseung since middle school, but never told a single soul about it. You're a naturally expressive and sweet person, so it was so incredibly hard hiding your feelings for him. 

After all, under that handsome and brooding outer shell, you saw his softness. This past year, you've had so many miscellaneous interactions (at least, it seemed miscellaneous-- everyone but you knew that those interactions were set up) with Heeseung. At the beginning of each interaction, he'd act all mysterious, but as time passed, he'd speak so softly and slowly unravel. 

It was so, so cute. Heeseung was so cute. To say you wanted him would be an understatement. No words were sufficient to fully express the nights that you stayed awake thinking about him, or the makeup looks that you intricately practiced to impress him, or the sheer number of times that you had to hide the fact that you were staring at him.

Maybe you couldn't hide it any longer.

"Wait, what?!"

Heeseung's heart dropped to his stomach the moment he heard the words leave his friend's lips. Chenle Zhong was one of you and Heeseung's mutual friends, and according to him, someone had confessed to you via a letter today.

"Are you serious?" Heeseung asked, pulling his bottom lip into his teeth, chewing pensively. "Do you know who wrote it?"

"Nope, but I'll try to get more info on it," Chenle frowned. "Yunjin says that [Name] laughed at the letter."

When Heeseung didn't say anything, Chenle continued. "Hey, man, that could be a sign, y'know?"

When Heeseung's face morphed into a confused expression, his friend added, "Like, maybe [Name] thinks it's a joke? Maybe she doesn't care for it."

That's what Heeseung hoped for.

Later, Chenle texted him a screenshot of the love letter. To say that Heeseung was appalled would be an understatement. The letter read,

'To my dearest [Name], you're as beautiful as the plum blossoms in the spring. Your lips are soft like pillows, pillows that I would love to fall into an eternal in. I love you, I love you, I'll love you until this paper decomposes and becomes a part of the earth, and maybe then they will be able to force me to forget you. Love, your admirer.'

Heeseung immediately sent it to his groupchat.

jakey: yo who invited shakespeare???

hoon: i had a stroke reading that

sunoo: "your lips are soft like pillows" is crazyyy

hee: chenle gave me updates, apparently [name] knows who the sender is

jay: AND WHO IS THE SENDER??

hee: i don't know

hee: but minjeong says that it's someone from class 2

niki: class 2 is full of snobs

jungwon: i'm still in shock because of "i'll love you until this paper decomposes"

hoon: WHAT IF IT'S JUNGSU HYUNG

niki: oh it's SO over for you heeseung-hyung

As it turned out, it was not, in fact, Jungsu Kim from Class 2, thanks to your friends, who were quite wonderful info-brokers. But he still didn't know who it was.

Laying in bed, Heeseung felt weight on his chest. You laughed at the letter. While that could mean that it was a joke, it could also mean that you thought the person writing the letter was funny... which could mean that you liked them back. Just the mere thought of you with someone else made Heeseung frown deeply. This entire time he was worried about how to act around you, completely ignoring the fact that you yourself could be interested in someone else! God, he was so stupid.

Heeseung needed to know who it was that sent it, and more importantly, if you were romantically interested in them.

Fear makes man do crazy things.

Like walking one's crush to school.

Look, Heeseung was mulling over the situation as he walked to school, when he saw you across the street, walking in the same direction as him. In what could only be called an adrenaline-high, Heeseung ran across the street up to you.

"[Name]!" he called out.

"Heeseung?—Oh my god!"

Poor boy was breathless, flushed in the face. It took him a few moments to catch his breath. Flashing you a grin, Heeseung said, "Let's walk to school together, [Name]."

You're silent for a few moments, before you return the smile. "Of course."

The walk was silent, only the sound of early morning traffic, footsteps against the concrete sidewalk, and the occasional sniffle courtesy of you filling the cold air between the two of you. Speaking of which, your sniffles began to get louder and more frequent. Now out of adrenaline, Heeseung was back to being shy.

Clearing his throat, Heeseung forced his voice out. "Are you— Are you sick?"

You sniffled again, bringing your hand up to swipe your nose. The two of you were at an intersection now, so you pressed the pedestrian button. "No, I just get sniffly when it's cold."

That's. So. Cute. Was what Heeseung was thinking. The way you were rubbing your hands together made you look so adorable, he just wanted to put you in his pocket. 

He must have been staring at you for a while, back in his you-loving daze, because Heeseung did not notice that the streetlight changed, and it was time for the pedestrians to pass.

Not to worry!

Heeseung was completely kicked out of his daze when your smaller hand grabbed his, pulling him along the street. His eyes were glued to the two of your hands, especially where they connected. For someone sniffly, your hands were warm. He liked the way that they fit in his.

Even in the cool morning air, Heeseung suddenly felt warm all over.

You were in the middle of the sidewalk when Heeseung stopped. Feeling bold, he dropped his schoolbag, and began slipping off his thick, black, leather jacket, before draping it over your shoulders. 

When you looked up at him with those curious doe eyes, all his boldness went away.

"Y-You're cold aren't you?" He avoided looking you in the eyes. "Just... Just take it. Y-You can give it back later... or whatever."

You giggled, slipping your arms into the sleeves.

God, you looked so cute in his jacket. Heeseung was going to melt.

And he did melt, because you began doing cute twirls to show off the jacket, posing for him.

"How do I look?" you cheekily asked, popping your leg up. 

Heeseung was speechless, his mouth just left agape. He had to force himself to speak.

"Cute..." he answered, barely audible.

A grin was growing on your face. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. How do I look?"

Heeseung squeezed his eyes shut, huffing. "I said you looked cute!"

The sight of Heeseung's pink cheeks and his cute little pout was enough for you to be satisfied. Before the boy could realize what he said, you picked up his school bag for him, shoving it into one of his hands, before snatching his free hand. You pulled him gently to continue walking, but Heeseung was frozen in place, eyes too busy on you.

"Heeeeee," you elongated your syllables. You squeezed his hand twice, tugging him again. "We can't be late to class, can we?"

Heeseung audibly gulped. "Y-Yeah. You're right.."

You guys began walking again, neither of you wanting to let each other’s hands go.

"And then she held my hand— Isn't that crazy?! She held my hand!"

"Heeseung-hyung, please, I am peeing right now."

It was the lunch period once again. As Heeseung and Sunghoon traversed the hallways to get to the stairwell, the older of two chatted about the events that morning.

"So you held her hand?" Sunghoon asked half-heartedly, barely listening. "And then what?"

Heeseung perked up. "And then we walked to class together, and then she—"

"That's cool and all," the younger friend was walking in front of him. Sunghoon turned over his shoulder. "But did you get any more information about the letter fiasco?"

Oh. 

No, Heeseung didn't.

When they reached the rooftop, his friends gently nudged him to get more information about the letter. 

"You don't want to have one of those 'too late' moments, right?" Jungwon said, chewing on his rice ball. "What if by the time you gather the courage to talk to her, [Name] is already walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her secret admirer?!"

"What's with you guys and walking off into the sunset..." Heeseung muttered, running a hand through his hair. 

"I'm serious, hyung!"

"I second that," Jay said lazily.

"I second that," Riki mocked in a squeaky voice, earning him a soft smack at the back of his head.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Heeseung asked, frustrated. "I can talk to her or her friends later, but not right now."

Jake scoffed. "What's stopping you from going back inside and talking to [Name] right now?"

The eldest boy didn't have an answer. That's true. There wasn't anything stopping Heeseung from talking to you right now. All the boys were now watching him for an answer, ready to pounce on him for being a coward.

"I don't know!" Heeseung finally said. "I've used up all of my bravery today... I don't think I have it in me to talk to her!"

His friends stared at him questioningly, until the silence was broken by Sunoo taking a loud and very obviously fake phonecall.

"Hi! Yes! Mhm. He's right here. Yeah. Mhm. Thank you!"

Sunoo hung up loudly, and looked at Heeseung with a cocked brow. "I was just on the phone with Yunjin. She says you should probably go talk to [Name]."

Heeseung looked at Sunoo incredulously, but the expectant expressions on his friends' faces made him groan.

"Fine!"

As Heeseung creeped down the school hallway, he came to the classroom that you hung out in at lunch: your homeroom. Standing outside the door, the boy took a deep breath.

Relax, it's just [Name], he had to tell himself, as if that helped at all. What was he even going to say? 

'Hey, are you dating the person that sent you that letter? If you aren't, do you want to get married to me? Haha.'

????

Just as Heeseung was about to slide the door open, he heard a very familiar laugh from inside. Of course he could recognize it. After all, it was you. 

"Yuri is so cute!" he heard you giggle. "She wrote me that little letter as a joke, but I think I'm actually in love with her."

In.

Love.

With.

Her.

"Awww, Yuri, come here and give me a kiss!"

Come.

Give.

You.

A.

Kiss.

"I'm gonna marry you, Yuri!"

Marry.

You.

Yuri.

To Heeseung, everyone was an enemy. No matter their gender or class, the moment that he heard that you got a love letter, everyone became a suspect. It all made sense now. Yuri Jo, the 'Yuri' that you were talking about and to, was from Class 2. He knew that you and her were friends, but he didn't know that you were romantically interested in her. 

Jungwon was right. Now you were going to walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her!

hee: guys what if [name] is already taken :(

jakey: what are you on about this time

There was something scary about a 6-feet tall guy mulling around and sulking all day, so luckily no one got in Heeseung's way as he brooded. Unfortunately, he felt his heart hurt whenever he looked at you. Almost cartoonishly, he'd turn away, close his eyes in dramatic pain, and pout. Although he acted a little bit theatrical, it was no doubt that Heeseung felt sad. He really thought he had a chance with you, and now he felt stupid.

Except, he was stupid.

But for a different reason.

"Jesus Christ, you're actually hopeless, Heeseung."

After school, your friends cornered him, somewhere where you wouldn't see. His friends were somehow in close communication with your friends.

"I can't believe you thought me and [Name] were actually dating!"

Heeseung scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, as he leaned against a locker. Before him stood Yunjin, Winter, Yuri, along with a few other of your friends, Hitomi and Minju. 

"I don't know!" Heeseung huffed. "Everyone is an enemy to me—” he glanced at Yuri— “Including Yuri.”

Yunjin scoffed in disbelief. "You're insane."

Soooo... You weren't in any romantic relationship with anyone. Yuri sent you that letter as a joke, and you were just really close to her. Good.

"I don't know how I feel about this guy getting with our [Name]," Winter muttered to Hitomi and Minju, but loud enough for Heeseung to hear.

"Hey!"

"I know, he's a total dumbass," Minju grumbled back.

"Dude, I'm right here!"

Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Well, are you free on Friday after school?"

"Yeah, why?" They always asked Heeseung that question when they had some crazy plan up their sleeve. Not like he was any better.

"Wellll," Hitomi began in a sing-songy voice. "[Name] really wants to go to that Cinnamoroll Sweet Cafe in Hongdae on Friday, but none of us are available."

Heeseung nodded slowly. 

"I think it'd be a good way for you to get closer to her, dontcha think?"

And that's how Heeseung scored his first (unofficial) date with you

When your friends told you that Heeseung would accompany you to Hongdae, you almost jumped for joy. Almost. Friday couldn't come any faster. The plan was that you'd meet Heeseung at the train station at 4:30PM, meaning that you had a bit of time to change and get ready. You didn't want to get too ahead of yourself and call it a date, but oh boy did you want to.

What were you going to wear? What if you were too formal? Should you go for a casual look or something more put-together? You needed to impress him!

When Friday came, you practically ran home to get ready. You perfected your makeup, and put on your prettiest outfit. Spraying yourself with your signature perfume, you looked in the mirror. Hopefully, he'll like how you look. 

At the corner of your eye, you spot a black, leather jacket. His black, leather jacket. Without even thinking, you slinked toward it, slipping into the jacket. It smelled like him, the faint scent of his cologne lingering on the leather.

With a final glance in the mirror, you left for the train station.

On the other hand, to say that Heeseung was nervous for the date was an understatement. His heart was about to fall out of chest. He changed into something more casual, made sure to brush out his disheveled hair, and reapplied his cologne. He came to the train station 20 minutes early, just in case something went terribly wrong. He glanced at his phone. For the date, he managed to get a hold of your number, for “communication purposes.” He’d wanted to text you all week, but didn’t have the courage to.

“Hee?” your soft voice calling his name got his attention. Behold, you standing there before him, all dolled up and pretty. This must be the sight he’ll see when he enters heaven, he thought. 

“Hi,” he said, his eyes glazing over your face. You were so pretty. Did you dress up for him? He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but the idea that you wanted to look good for him made Heeseung’s heart skip a beat. “You look…”

He didn’t mean to say that. You smile bashfully. “I look…?”

“So pretty,” Heeseung breathed. “You look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” you smile. Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt, playing with it, which sends his heart racing. “Well, I think you look handsome, Hee.”

“Th-Thanks.”

The two of you stare into each other’s eyes for a few moments, and Heeseung swears that you’re looking at his lips. You spoke up, breaking the silence. “You notice anything about me?”

Heeseung grasped the collar of his jacket gently with both hands. “My jacket.”

“I was going to give it back to you earlier,” you begin, eyes trained on his lips, “But I think I’ll keep it for today, yeah? Since I look so pretty in it.”

“Oh fuck,” Heeseung cursed under his breath, loud enough for you to hear it and giggle. “Yeah, you can keep it for as long as you want.”

“As long as I want?” you purred, taking a step closer to him. Although it wasn’t clear to anyone else, you were a mess inside. Your heart was palpitating so hard that you could hear it in your ears. Your throat felt dry, and your hands were shaking with mere anxiety and excitement. “What about forever?”

Heeseung cracked a grin. “Do whatever you want. You’re pretty.”

If it wasn’t for the train announcement, you thought you would have kissed his pretty lips right then and there. Taking Heeseung’s hand, you led him to your train cart. 

“Let’s go, Hee.”

The train is much more packed than you expected, but it was the beginning of the weekend after all. The trip from Gyeonggi Province to Hongdae should take no less than an hour. Unfortunately, because of the amount of people in the train, you and Heeseung had to stand for the majority of the time. It should have been uncomfortable, but it simply wasn't. Because you were with Heeseung.

Standing only a few inches away from the boy, your chests almost pressed against each other. You could feel his breath fan your cheeks. The both of you held onto the pole, hands barely brushing against each other when the cart shook against the rails. 

At some point, the shaking was a lot more aggressive than it had previously been. Instinctively, your hand reached for his broad shoulders for stability. Likewise, Heeseung reached for your waist, holding you in place. You and Heeseung shared a long, drawn-out look, eyes getting lost in one another's, before you both avert your gazes shyly, muttering, "sorry." Yet, neither of you moved your hands from their newfound positions.

As minutes passed on the train, your eyes were glued to Heeseung, at least when he wasn't watching. 

You loved the reddish blush that naturally decorated his under-eyes, and the natural corally red at tinted the tip of his ears. His glossy eyes and heart-shaped lips had to be your favorite feature of his, if not for his large, yet delicate hands, so gentle and soft.

You were deep in thought when you suddenly felt a hand creeping on your leg. Nimble fingers from behind, brushing up against the hem of your dress. From the corner of your eye, you saw an older man. He looked unkempt and scruffy, like a delinquent– but nothing like Heeseung. Heeseung looked much better than him.

The man reeked of cigarettes and musk. A nasty grin spread across his face as he peered down at your exposed legs. His hands creeped toward them again, now slightly pushing your dress up. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, your entire body stiffening. Your heart began to pound in your chest, your cheeks and skin feeling hot. 

Panic overtook your system. Your once soft breaths became much shorter and quicker, inhaling and exhaling shallow air.

You’ve never been in a situation like this; you’d  never wished, thought, or even considered something like this happening to you– why would you? You had no idea what to do, and were not at all prepared for this. The train was packed to the brim, this man was much bigger and stronger than you, and you did not know how to fight.

The hand moved past your skirt, now under it and directly in contact with your skin. The hand felt dirty, brushing against you. A small frantic whimper escaped your lips when the man’s hand squeezed your bare thigh. It was a small sound, barely audible in the vast bustle of the subway. However, someone did hear it.

Heeseung, doe-eyed and lost in his own world, immediately darted his eyes over to you the moment he heard a sound of discomfort. 

When your eyes met, you could only signal helplessly. Your gaze was wide, pupils dilated, with fear and panic. Heeseung’s eyes narrowed, staring into your eyes for a moment before analyzing your expression. The way you were extremely tense and overwrought casted a sense of suspicion in his head, and your eyes that were seemingly pleading him made him think.

Help, your eyes said.

Heeseung’s dark eyes flickered from your face, to your entire body language, and back to your face, before he spotted a few, foreign fingers creeping around your leg area.

Your shifty eyes kept moving from Heeseung’s to the side, but now that he looked at it, it was like they were pointing behind you. And lo and behold, behind you was a musky pervert, who was shamelessly touching you.

“[Name]…” he whispered. His fists clenched, teeth gritting. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling anger build up in his stomach. You whimpered again in response. He brought a hand to ghost over your shoulder, pushing you very, very, gently to the side. “Move.”

He wound up his fist and sent the hardest punch he could muster to the man square in the jaw.

The man lurched back immediately, his hand moving far, far, away from you. A groan left his lips, his head being thrown back in pain. The man’s fall had pushed a few other people down as well. Other bystanders watched on in shock. Some took out their phones to record and take pictures, others to tell their friends.

You just stood still, leaning into Heeseung, whose fist was a faint red color. With a very careful hand, he brushed the lifted hem of your dress down, which had been messed with earlier.

The man quickly got up once he noticed the new and tense silence over the subway cart.

“Hey!” he shouted, pushing himself up from his downtrodden position. “You little punk, who the fuck do you think you-”

The train announcer called for the stop. Heeseung, ignoring the man, took your arm, pulling you out the door. Before he himself left, Heeseung landed a kick to the man’s crotch, muttering, “Fucking bastard.”

"W-Wait, Hee-!"

Heeseung was silent as the train doors opened, only pulling you along with him. When the two of you were far from the train, he finally stopped, turning to you.

"Are you okay?" was all he asked. You shifted uncomfortably at the thought of what happened earlier.

"Y-Yeah..." you played with the hem of his jacket sheepishly. "Thanks for what you did back there."

Heeseung jolted up at the mention. He didn't love using violence, despite his 'delinquent' reputation, especially in front of you. His hands joined yours at the hem of his jacket, shyly brushing up against yours. 

"Next time," he began, beginning to play with the zipper, "I'll fight every person on that train so that you can sit."

You smiled softly. "You don't have to do that, Hee."

Heeseung slowly zipped up his jacket on you, meeting your eyes, before straightening out your collar. 

"But I want to," he breathed. You gazed at him. His hands were still on the collar of the jacket, close to your face. You noticed the red smudges on his knuckles from punching the man on the train. You took that hand, opening it up, and nuzzling your cheek into it. You took his other hand. To Heeseung's surprise, you pressed soft kisses on his knuckles, rubbing them with your thumb.

"What are you..." his breath hitched when your eyes flickered to his, holding steady eye-contact. 

You pressed one last kiss on his palm. "Thank you, Hee. Really."

"Of course, [Name]," he finally whispered. "Anything for you."

And so, your first date with Heeseung began.

The sweet scent of cinnamon and pastries hit your noses the moment you guys stepped into the Cinnamoroll Cafe. When you were seated, you took a look at the menu. So far, the date was going smoothly. Other than the run-in at the beginning, the chemistry between the two of you was sparking. The conversation was flowing, and if that already wasn't a dream come true, you kept touching Heeseung. On your end, you were practically vibrating in your seat with the sheer amount of excitement you had bubbling in you. You couldn't believe you were on a date with the Heeseung Lee sharing a strawberry banana parfait. 

"Hee," you said, motioning him to come closer to you. He did, so you cupped his cheek, bringing your thumb up to wipe a stray piece of the parfait from his cheek. 

"Oh-" Heeseung's face reddened. How embarrassing! Did you think he was a slob now? You only giggled, bringing both hands up to hold his face. You squished the boy's cheeks, laughing at the way his brows cutely crashed into each other.

"You're so cute, Hee," you said, playing with his cheeks. "The cutest."

That's all you, he thought. You're going to drive him crazy.

Or, at least he thought he thought.

Did he just say that out loud? Heeseung groaned when you threw your head back laughing, hiding his own face in your palms. You chuckled.

Feeling bold, you cupped his cheeks again. You leaned closer, holding his face close to yours. You kissed a soft and chaste kiss on his nose. You couldn't help the heat that rose to your cheeks as the boy flopped over the table, hiding his face in his arms. You ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly, cooing at his cuteness.

"You can't do this to me," Heeseung murmured.

You laughed. It wouldn't hurt to tease him a little more, right? You leaned down, giving the boy another kiss. This time, though, you kissed the top of his head.

"Hee, baby, you're just the cutest, you know that right?"

Heeseung combusted.

After the Cafe, Heeseung and you walked around the Hongdae Festival Street. By now, it was beginning to get darker outside, the air cooling down. It was cold, but to Heeseung, it was perfect, because now he had an excuse to hold your hand. As the two of you walked and talked, you enjoyed the sight of the lights and bustling street. 

Suddenly, a new voice interrupted the two of you's conversation. Turning around, you saw two guys who looked around your age. They were holding a camera and a microphone.

"Hi!" they said, smiling. "We're interviewing couples in Hongdae, would you guys like to be in it? We’ll blur your faces."

Heeseung glanced your joined hands, then back at the two guys, then back at your hands, "O-Oh, we're not a coupl—"

You cut him off. "Of course, we'd love to!"

You flashed Heeseung a grin, squeezing his hand twice, almost as if to say, 'Just go with it.' His ears began to burn, his neck prickling with warmth, before clearing his throat. "Y-Yeah..." he squeezed your hand, "We'd love to."

The two guys cheered, turning on their camera. "All right, first question. How did you guys meet?"

"We went to middle school together," you were quick to answer. "I thought he was really cute, but we didn't start talking until this year."

You didn't know what the fuck you were saying. Was it risky to be so truthful for an internet interview, right in front of your long-time crush? Absolutely. But your heart was pounding so hard in your chest, simply waiting for Heeseung's response.

On the other hand, Heeseung's mind was in complete shambles. Were you telling the truth? The way you answered so smoothly with absolutely no hesitation made it almost seem natural.

"And you?" the interviewer asked. "What did you think about her when you first met?"

"I—" Heeseung's breath hitched. "I thought she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen."

The way you glanced at him made Heeseung's heart feel like it was about to fall out. "I.. I still think that."

Your expression was unreadable, your lips pressing into a thin line. Then, a huge smile broke out on your face.

"Awww, Heeeee! I didn't know you thought about me like that!" You squeezed his hand again, and he squeezed it back.

"How long have you guys been together?" the interviewer asked.

"We just started dating!" You answered enthusiastically, a weird, surprised sound coming from Heeseung.

The rest of the interview went smoothly, with you mostly answering the questions. You quietly thanked the interviewers, and you and Heeseung were on your way.

Your words kept ringing in Heeseung's head.

Especially your answer to the question, "Why did you like him?"

You answered, "Because he's so perfect."

Heeseung? Perfect? He couldn't believe his ears! Were you telling the truth?

A calm silence fell over you and Heeseung as you walked the bustling streets of Hongdae. That question lingered in his mind, and before he knew it, his mouth was moving faster than his mind.

"Did you mean anything you said?"

His voice seemed to reverberate against the night air, ringing in his ears. You chewed on your lip. Then, you sucked in a sharp breath.

"Of course, Hee," you finally answered. "If it's you, I mean everything."

Heeseung sucked his bottom lip into his teeth, biting down so hard he drew blood. Once again, his hands found home on the hem of his jacket draped over you. 

"Good." He couldn't meet your eyes, not with the knowledge that you meant everything you said. He forced his attention onto the hem of the leather jacket that you were wearing, too shy to look at you. 

Heeseung only looked up when he felt your thumb pressing against his lip, eyes widening.

"Don't bite your lip too hard, Hee," you said, a smile in your voice. You thumb swiped against his lip, wiping off the small blotch of blood on it. "You'll bleed, and I'll have to kiss it better."

Heeseung's tongue darted out to swipe over his bleeding lip, brushing against your thumb. "What if I want you to kiss it better?"

"Well, then you better not keep me waiting."

His eyes flickered to your lips. He wanted to kiss them so bad. They looked so soft. What would they taste like? You liked strawberries— maybe they'd taste like that. When he didn't say or do anything, you changed the topic, unable to hide the disappointment in your face.

"Did you mean it?" You asked. "When you said that I was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen?"

"Oh my god, yes," Heeseung said under his breath, eyes still trained on your lips. "Always."

Another silence fell of you two, simply getting lost in each other's eyes. Maybe it was something in the Hongdae air, but Heeseung felt brave. His hand slithered to your waist, bringing you closer to him. When you slid your hands up his chest, resting them on his shoulders, Heeseung audibly gulped. Your faces inched closer and closer, until you could feel his breath against your cheek. You wanted to lean in and close the gap so bad. And you could tell that he wanted to, too.

Just as you were about to, however, the sound of a car honking and tires screeching interrupted you. Heeseung instinctively pulled away, his head whipping around to look at the commotion.

Oh hell no.

You were not going to let that stop you.

You snatched Heeseung's hand, before pulling him with you. You don't know how much you ran, or for how long, but you ran and ran until you found an empty alleyway.

You pushed him against the hard, concrete wall, a bit harsher than you expected too. Holding him by his shoulders, you put all your weight on him, caging him against the wall.

"You'd let me kiss you, right?" you rasped, out of breath.

Heeseung, also breathless, stared at you, lips parted. 

"I thought I already said," he breathed, "Do whatever you want. You're pretty."

With that, you crashed your lips onto his. His lips were soft, a little chapped. It felt so surreal. The scent of his cologne made you feel dizzy. When you pulled away, it was evident that he was feeling the same as you were. 

It was a chaste kiss, but the tension was so thick in the air. Somehow, that made it even more intimate.

"Wow..." was all Heeseung could utter. Under the moonlight, with you pressed up against him, you looked so goddamn pretty. Your face was illuminated with the pale light, making you look like an angel. Was he in heaven? Did he die yet? He wouldn't mind if he died right then and there, now that you (you!) kissed him. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me, [Name]."

"But you'd like it, right? Because I'm so pretty." The teasing tone in your voice would normally make Heeseung melt, but all he could do was grin. 

"You know I would."

The rest of the night, you and Heeseung don't kiss anymore. Not because you guys didn't want to kiss, but because the adrenaline wore off, and now the both of you were shy. It was almost comical, the way both of you completely reverted back to your bashful and sheepish selves, barely able to make eye-contact with each other.

"Thank you for tonight, Hee," you hummed, as you and Heeseung walked to the train station, hand-in-hand. "I had a lot of fun."

He scanned your face. The slight curve on your lips (oh god, your lips, the way the corner of your lip had a smudge of lipstick from kissing him earlier —how badly he wanted to kiss them again) was contagious. "Of course. I had a lot of fun, too."

The train ride back was quiet. You eventually began dozing off, resting your head on his shoulder.

"You did what?!" was the collective reaction of both you and Heeseung's friends. After that Friday together, you called together all of your friends to your house, to spill the beans. Likewise, Heeseung forced every single one of his friends into his living room.

"Ouuu, you little flirt!" Yunjin exclaimed. Currently, Yunjin, Winter, Hitomi, Yuri, and Minju were seated on your bedroom floor, while you dramatically flopped around on your bed. 

It was now that you explained to your friends your long-time crush on Heeseung, much to their pleasant surprise.

"And then what happened?" Minju asked, filing her finger-nails. "Did you profess your undying love for him?"

You groaned into your pillow. "I can't!"

"Why not?" Winter quirked a brow. "You guys literally kissed."

You let out another groan. "What if he doesn't like me like that?"

Your friends deadpanned.

Heeseung Lee didn't like you. He loved you. They would know better than anyone.

"[Name], honey, you're overthinking it," Yuri nudged you with her foot. "He gave you his jacket. I think that says enough."

"Well, what if I'm just getting ahead of myself and he's just being nice?"

"Girl..."

Heeseung had a similar reaction.

All of his friends stared at him like he just punched their grandmothers.

"You can't be serious right now, hyung..." Sunghoon said, pinching his nose-bridge.

All of his friends were piled onto one couch, while Heeseung laid out on the one across from them, almost like they were in a therapy session. 

"What if she just thinks I'm a good friend?" Heeseung used his hands to speak, theatrically moving them.

"What makes you think that?" Sunoo asked incredulously. 

Heeseung groaned. "[Name] tells Yuri Jo that she wants to marry her and they're good friends."

"Okay, and?"

"Well," Heeseung huffed. "What if [Name] kissed me because she sees me the same way that she sees Yuri?"

"Well, I'm good friends with Jungwon-hyung and I don't kiss him," Riki said matter-of-factly.

"Right..." Jungwon nodded his head slowly. "Hyung, do you really think a good friend would pin you against a wall and kiss you?"

"Do you think a good friend would kiss you three times and then call you cute like a bajillion other times?!" Jake chimed in.

"Let alone choose to keep your jacket?!" Jay sounded tired.

Heeseung clasped his hands together, thinking for a few moments.

"Yes."

All of his friends groaned in defeat.

"You're hopeless."

After a lot of urging and cross-communication between friend-groups, both of your friends managed to convince both you and Heeseung to confess to each other the next Monday.

"What if I faint the moment she says my name?" Heeseung catastrophized to Jay in the school bathroom. 

"Uh, I doubt that, hyung."

Heeseung texted you to meet him under the stairwell, and that was when he was going to confess. On your end, the moment that he texted that, you decided that you'd confess to him then.

When the time came, Heeseung headed out to the stairwell. His hands were clammy, and even when he wiped him on his uniform pants, he couldn't stop the trembling of his hands. What if everyone was instilling false hope in him? Gosh, Heeseung thought he was going to throw up. His stomach was churning, he was going to collapse if he saw you right now—

"Hee?" Your voice broke him out of his internal spiral. Seemingly, there was a halo around you, a light so bright that Heeseung was blinded.

"H-Hi," he stammered, straightening out his posture and clearing his throat.

Your hands were clasped behind your back, leaning forward toward him. "You wanted to talk to me, yeah?"

Heeseung couldn't bring himself to meet your gaze, his shoes suddenly becoming interesting. "Y-Yeah..."

The hallway where the stairwell was located was beginning to feel stuffy. Heeseung had never felt so nervous in his life. He was light-headed, barely able to even balance himself.

"Hee," you reached out to touch his arm, noticing his discomfort. "Let's go outside, okay?"

Going outside should have helped him cool down, but when you shrugged on his leather jacket to combat the cool air, Heeseung realized that there was no way in hell that he was going to get through this confession without dropping dead. 

The two of you walked around the school yard for a few minutes in silence. 

How should he start this confession? He had Sunghoon and Jake write out a script for him, and he spent the entire night memorizing it, but now in your presence he couldn't remember a single word. Should he have written a letter like Yuri Jo? Heeseung couldn't possibly contain himself.

"Hee," you finally said, disrupting the silence. "I have something to tell you."

Heeseung's mind wandered to the worst case scenario. 

You're going to tell him that you're moving across the world to marry the love of your life, aren't you? You're going to say that he's a great friend and that you just got a boyfriend, right? 

No, he needed to tell you his feelings first! If he didn't now, he'd never, and he'd burst into a million pieces!

"M-Me too!" he blurted, stopping in his tracks. 

You blinked at him, then smiled.

Oh, no! It's actually happening!

He could already hear your voice saying, "Hi, Heeseung, my boyfriend just proposed to me and you're invited to the wedding."

You sucked in a breath, parting your lips to speak.

He needed to tell you first! The little demons in his head kept replaying the scene of you asking him to be your groom of honor at your wedding with the love of your life next Saturday. He could hear the marriage officiant announcing, “I now pronounce you husband and wife” at your wedding, and he imagined himself sitting in that little wedding venue holding back tears.

Oh my god, he needed to say it now, or he'll never say it ever!

"Hee, I really--"

Heeseung cut you off. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands balling into fists.

"I like you, [Name]!" he yelled.

.

.

.

You stared at him in disbelief. Or were you flustered? Heeseung couldn't tell. With too much adrenaline in his veins, Heeseung threw away all the preparation and drafted scripts he and his friends made for this very moment.

"I-I.. I like you so much, I'm scared that I'm going to explode!" Heeseung continued shouting at you. He had no idea what he was saying. All he was doing was telling you the thoughts he'd had about you all this time. "You're so, so, so pretty and I can't believe that you're an actual, real, physical, person, and you make me feel so fucking stupid, I can't take it."

Your eyes were bulging out of your head at this point, your jaw dropped. 

"I've never liked anyone like I've liked you, a-and I just wanted to tell you this before you... you go off with someone else!"

Heeseung kept his eyes shut when he was done confessing, letting out a labored breath. There was no way that he could face you. The silence that fell over the two of you made Heeseung's heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. He squeezed his eyes in embarrassment. He gripped the hem of his shirt to relieve the bubbling anxiety inside him. Gosh, he was going to puke.

After a few moments, nothing happened. You didn't say a word. Did you just leave him there standing? Of course, you did. You were probably too kind and angelic to outright reject him. He was a fool to think that he had a chance with you—

Heeseung heard footsteps, and before he could react, he felt a pair of lips on his.

His eyes shot open.

You.

Were.

Kissing.

Him.

!!!

After he confessed!

Poor boy was so stiff, eyes wide.

Did that mean you liked him back?

You pulled away.

Usually, you had a reassuring smile on your face by default. Even during times where you were embarrassed, you almost never showed it on your face.

But this time, your entire face was painted with a flustered expression. Your cute lips jutted out in a mini pout, while your eyes were glued to the ground, avoiding his gaze.

A few pulses passed.

"I... I like you, too... by the way," you murmured.

Another few pulses passed.

You. Liked. Him.

Nonononono wait, was he dreaming?

You.

YOU.

The beautiful, angelic you. 

Liked him.

Without thinking, Heeseung stepped forward, gently grabbing your face.

"You're real, right?" he breathed. When glossy eyes stared back at him, Heeseung felt warmth spread across his chest. Your lips looked so appealing right now, he was craving them again. "I'm not dreaming, yeah?"

You blinked at him a few times. The corners of your lips quirked upward.

"Why, because I'm 'so pretty that you can't believe I'm real?' " your voice had a teasing tone in it, referencing his earlier confession. Heeseung chuckled, letting go of your face so that he could slide his hands to where they belonged: around your waist.

"Just kiss me," he mumbled, looking at you with lidded eyes.

You grinned. "Gladly."

With that, you smashed your lips onto his. Instead of the chaste, soft, kisses that you shared earlier, this one was different. You shoved your tongue into Heeseung's mouth, exploring all its crevices. Poor boy was so surprised that he squeezed your waist, letting out a small whine. The feeling of you smirking against his lips gave him butterflies.

You finally pulled away breathless, but gave him no time to breathe. You grasped his chin, giving you easy control. 

"You drive me so crazy," he murmured against the shell of your ear.

You pressed a kiss at the juncture between his neck and ear. "I drive you crazy?" you cocked your brow.

"You," you muttered. You began pressing kisses down his jaw. 

“Drive.” 

Kiss.

“Me.” 

Kiss. 

“So-” 

Kiss.

"Fucking-" 

Kiss.

"Crazy."

Before you could pounce on him with more kisses, Heeseung, red in the face, flopped over you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. He let out a cute groan.

"What, are you getting shy on me?" you teased him, running your fingers through his hair. He shook his head against your shoulder, making you coo.

"I can't believe you like me back, that's all," he mumbled, muffled by your shoulder. 

You laughed. "How? I feel like I was so obvious."

Heeseung looked up at you with pink cheeks, frowning. "You don't even want to know how hopelessly in love with you I was."

You quirked a brow at him. 

"Yeah?" You pecked his forehead. "Try me."

Heeseung let out a breathy chuckle. He attacked your lips.

"How about I show you?"

FIN.

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated :)

[nqueso-emergency]

the BoBs are turning on bucks coming out scene at the wedding now, saying it did nothing but make a joke out of it, that tommy pushed buck into it, it’s so out of character, the show didn’t take it seriously etc…

i swear everyone loved the coming out scene when it first happened? but now, because it’s linked to tommy, they have to hate it.

some people are even ragging on maddie for saying “how long have you been leaning in the other DIRECTION” because apparently calling it a direction is derogatory.

like. it was the perfect, most Buck way of coming out, just a face full of soot from making out with his hot pilot boyfriend. it’s a lovely, lighthearted moment, which is exactly what Tim said he wanted to do. None of Buck’s coming out scenes were serious or sad.

All of Buck’s coming out scenes were very lighthearted- meaningful, but lighthearted. When Buck came out to maddie, he was more bothered that he’d lied to eddie about what he was doing that night rather than the fact he was on a date with a man (which, that scene always gets twisted because maddie says “if there’s something you need to tell eddie” (not verbatim) and the BoBs always took that as maddie pushing buddie, but the whole scene is very clearly centred around Buck feeling guilty about lying to eddie about what he was doing). When he came out to Eddie, he was again more bothered about clearing up that he was on a date with a man, not out with a friend.

Buck, on screen, was never, not one singular time, bothered that he was on a date with a man. He felt bad about lying to his bestfriend about it, but we never saw Buck feel unsure about or debate his bisexuality, he came to terms with it in a way many bisexual people do. It just clicked for him, it didn’t trouble him.

So, sorry that none of the coming out scenes were sad, sorry that the hospital coming out scene wasn’t a bigger deal, but Buck didn’t think it was a big deal, so it didn’t need to be one. He just wanted to introduce everyone to his new boyfriend- not because he’s a man, but because they’re together.

Sorry this was long. been pent up for a while. Hope it made sense.

It makes perfect sense!!

And you know what? Fuck whoever is saying those negative things about the way Buck came out.

Why does everything have to be such a huge fucking production? This isn't 13 reasons why, it's fucking 911. They do not dredge shit like this through the mud. And honestly thank god because coming out, in a way that's comfortable for you and not making it feel like something you HAVE to do is honestly a really beautiful thing to see.

I am so sick and tired of bestie boos wanting shit to be the slowest of slow burns.

And you know what else? The only reason they're backtracking now I because they have nothing else. Ryan and Oliver aren't doing bts just the two of them, Oliver isn't reacting to anything really.

I hope they understand that they're slow burn that they wanted so fucking bad is actually taking place on the actors they claim to love. They're burnt out and honestly I can't wait for the first sign of Buddie being pulverized.

[lover-of-mine]

I have realized what is making my head explode when a BT post accidentally goes through my tags!!!! They are completely ignoring Buck is bi. They are acting like my aunt in the early 2000s. I may not have been fond of all the LUs but they were valid relationships. If Taylor had not fucked up who knows where that relationship would have gone. I mean clearly nowhere once Eddie was out because once Eddie broke up with him he spiraled and kissed Lucy. But they are still valid relationships and at this point in time I don't see how Tommy is better than any of them. To be honest he has the worst traits of Abby and Taylor but the screen time of Ally. So frustrating.

Well, when have people ever been normal about bisexuality? But here's the thing, every relationship Buck had so far had his own set of issues that somehow have been reduced to the way he was dating women, which is fucked in so many ways and the amount of times I have to stop myself from picking a fight because of bucktaylor it's actually hysterical to me because we're seriously at a point where I need to defend the validity of Taylor's place in Buck's life. Like, how did we get here? Because here's the thing, do I think Buck and Taylor were meant to be? No. Do I think Buck would've clung to her until he literally couldn't anymore if her actions hadn't hurt his family? Absolutely. I see Buck going as far as panic proposing to her if that particular situation hadn't happened, just to have someone. Because they had chemistry and Buck kept trying to force that to become love. Taylor was wrong for Buck for a multitude of reasons, but none of those reasons were because she's a woman and Buck is gay. And the relationship with Tommy is not gonna magically last forever just because Tommy is a man. Tommy is this weird amalgamation of all of Buck's love interests with Ali/Ana levels of screentime and he doesn't magically have a fighting chance just because he has a dick and people can't seem to see this. And I think that's crazy. Because Tommy was given to us in an episode that had the theme of not recognizing people, while actively making us think it was about someone else and then they did the Kim storyline and I want to scream because people can't see the parallels. And the more I look at it the more insane I get because he's all of Buck's love interests smashed into someone who's Eddie two steps to the left with none of the things we love about him. But somehow he's perfect because he's not a woman. The only thing Tommy has going for him is not being a woman. You turn him into one and none of the things he did would fly. Letting Buck get away with physically hurting Eddie? Leaving him in the curb? Not dressing up? Making a kink joke after someone Buck loves almost died? Picture those scenes with Lucy and tell me anyone in the fandom would be shipping them. Let alone fighting for them the way people are right now. But he's a man so he gets a pass and that's so fucking weird. Evan Buckley is bisexual but getting dicked down isn't going to magically make everything perfect. Jesus.

Also, since you mentioned Eddie coming out, something that I've been thinking about since we found out it was supposed to be Eddie, a Buck who thinks he's straight finding out Eddie has a boyfriend would shortcircuit. I legit think they could not find a way to write Buck's reaction to Eddie being queer that didn't end with him figuring his feelings out so they switched things up, so Buck would for sure would've gotten there once Eddie got there because he would've had big feelings about it and Buck is not the repressed one.

[graendoll]

I finally watched the finale of 911 season 7 and my thoughts are below the break.

I have a lot of feelings about what they did and some of them are pretty "oof". Anyway, I realize I swept into Buddie fandom like two months ago and fell deeply in love with Buck and Eddie but after everything that is happening in fandom and in the show, I may slip back out as quickly as I came in because I'm not sure I can deal with the ship wars between now and season 8.

So yeah, if you want to hear what I think about where everything ended up, keep reading. Also...still a Buddie shipper in case it needs to be said 😅

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT PROCEED W/CAUTION

First, Eddie's story has me absolutely heartbroken even if I suspected a lot of it. Chris calling his grandparents, him leaving even if temporary. I knew it was coming and it still hit me really hard. I know Gavin was considering pulling back so I get it. And Chris will obviously still be a part of Eddie's narrative but ouch that hurt.

Next, the scene between Buck and Tommy was just icky to me. Daddy kink is one of those things I filter out of fic because it's a major fucking squick so the fact that Tim Minear put that on my screen against my will nearly had me throwing hands. Any positive I was trying to find in their date interaction was quickly vomited out all over my coffee table.

I'm not optimistic about Tommy leaving quickly in season 8 for any reason. The date was very much a get to know you situation and while I thought Tommy was being a bit harsh about Bobby, I can guarantee the BT's are probably drooling over the implications of that scene.

(This is one of the things seriously impacting my desire not to watch this show anymore.)

On to Hen and Mara - I am very glad we have a mostly resolved situation with Mara going in to season 8. Honestly this whole story line felt unnecessary and written for the sake of drama. The show is feeling very soapy and while I was giving it the benefit of the doubt because of how much the writers were trying to do in 10 episodes, they better knock that shit off. It's a far cry from the writing of episodes like Buck Begins. (The second reason I may not watch anymore.)

Also, every once in a while Athena does something that makes me absolutely despise her character and this episode was one of those situations. Her jumping to conclusions and threatening Amil was just, rushed, overly dramatic and felt unnecessary

If you needed to get her to Amils house for the cartel arrival, maybe have her go without homicidal tendencies?

Honestly the only storyline that got any room to breath in this episode was Eddie's.

Which brings me to my final thoughts, specific to Buddie and the future of that ship in canon.

First, that will is never going to come up again. It belongs to us now. The writers have elected to ignore it for three seasons and it's never going to come up again, unless Eddie actually dies.

Second, the continuation of BT and the loss of Christopher is like a fucking death knell for Buddie in canon imo. I hate it, but without Chris, they are no longer a little family. Whatever magic was happening with Buddie up to the shooting scene has not been recaptured, and I'm not sure it's ever going to be at this rate, especially I'd the writers don't fix their soapy garbage.

Am I old and cynical? Yes. Does that make me wrong? Maybe...but right now what we have is Buck happily engaged in a weird Daddy kink relationship, Chris, one of the main points of connection between Eddie and Buck, out of the picture, and Eddie probably finding God and repenting for his sins.

Okay I made that last part up but it's a real fear!

In either case, I feel like we were horribly ship bated all season, and it was done only to create buzz for the show on a new network with a new queer character.

I miss when fandom didn't have access to creators and didn't feel like a place you could win because the BTs are going to be A NIGHTMARE for the rest of the hiatus and frankly I don't want to deal with toxic ship wars while we all wait for season 8.

So yeah, happy season 7 finale? 🤣

[akookminsupporter]

https://www.tumblr.com/akookminsupporter/736628315654438912/you-know-i-dont-like-to-discuss-the-subgroup?source=share

That's tkkrs'regular business. remember when the new BTS webtoon was releasing? And two three pages were like released or leaked from the webtoon and one was jm and jk's character's scene and other was with jk and joon's character's scene. Now in whole nj and jk scenes it showed like jk's character feels that "love at first site" not like actual way but you know like showing his crush on joon's character and no one said anything but but what triggered tkkrs was jm's character and jk's character's scene (I'm saying the characters cause idk the names i only know jm's name was haru) and i don't even remember the scene properly now but it's about when they first meet like when jm's character turns into human from a stone so it was that scene but since in the webtoon jm was shown someone closer to jk as jk's master kind of (even tho they had like 100yrs age difference lol) tkkrs'were throwing up saying the comapny is pushing fanservice even in webtoon.

So what they did was they started making tweets like "guys i just got information from someone that in the upcoming months especially in January hybe is trying to push a ship too hard but it's all about fanservice so don't worry if you want to know more dm me" and then all tkkrs ran with it.

Me as a jkkr i still haven't read that webtoon nor i ever planned to cause it's just a webtoon and not actual BTS so who the fuck takes that seriously and get's triggered over that?? Bro getting triggered over fictional character??? That too when you're ignoring the whole Falling in love scene of namkook but getting triggered over a stone turning into human???

What I'm saying is they always do this. They try to feed their cult with lies already so much when it happens they can make their cult fool into beliveing that their leader knows everything what goes on lol.

They're so scared of jkk that they always feel the need to pull out fanservice narrative but i never see jkkrs pulling that so who's actually insecure here??

How is the "comapny is hiding my real gay ship with another fake ship" and "The company has a problem with tk" exist in the same place?? Isn't their ship is not for cam?? So why beg for on cam content?? Why change the plot every two days?

Anon, you are thinking logically and logic is not a concept that the subgroup wants to understand. I think the fact that they basically refuse to see original content and that many of them refuse to draw their own conclusions from that and instead need others to explain to them in a misguided way what they see, says it all.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie and these last few days have been a ride, to say the least. I am not feeling very normal about anything going on myself, how are you?? We're not even on the same day as the episode and everything already feels unhinged. Masks?? Confessions?? BUDDIE HOLDING HANDS (in front of the tree)??!! I have never hoped so much (a mistake I know) that we are living in the best timeline and I suppose in less then 24 hours we'll see how insane it is to do that.

Anyway my "saving it for an episode emergency" wine is toast after today (todo list: replace that before tomorrow's episode) and thought I'd share my dumb spec for this episode. So not dumb is BT bones are obviously happening (like seriously, windex couldn't make it any clearer at this point) and I do think the Eddie-takes-care-of-Buck while treeman-cowers-in-fear is going to play a role in that, but I can't help thinking of the choice to have the mummy in Eddie's old bachelor party clothes. Like its kinda weird to have that specific outfit back in "masks" of all episodes, but maybe its not so much for the symbolism but just to remind the audience that that was a whole thing. Because what if one of our boys, via meditation or mummy curse or whatever (I'm not picky) actually remembers what happened that night?? And it, er, it wasn't exactly strictly platonic?? So one of them has to confront exactly what that means and we end up with (at least one) third party confession. I'd like to see it. But either way I feel like for sure next episode will end with Buck at least realizing he's been putting on a mask with his current relationship, and its covering up who he really wants, and I for one can't wait to see it. Less than 24 hours my friend, let's hope they don't do anything else insane before then 🥂.

Good morning friend! I'm glad you sent this last night because with the banger d20 ep last night and the pettiness and excitement about tonight, I just KNOW I'm gonna be put in post limit jail SO early, so I'm getting this out now while I can!

What a month these last couple days have been! I am feeling unhinged and damn is it hard not to get my hopes up! 🤪

I am *desperately* hoping that we see a bachelor party flashback in the next couple episodes! I would be happy with either Buck or Eddie, but not Buck if he's still clinging on to Tree #3, because I don't want the guilt spiral or him breaking it off because he "did something wrong". He really does for once need to recognize (on screen for the audience to share with him) that he is not being treated well in a relationship and leave. (Justice for the BT 1.0 breakup we SHOULD have had in 5a but FOX sucks.)

And now we have a scene (that to be fair I haven't watched because I like going in if not blind, at least not having watched big chucks of the episode yet) that once again shows Eddie knowing and loving Buck to his weird, superstitious core, and his BF being the odd man out, once again putting others down as a way to get laughs at work, and not knowing who is married to Buck's dad, Bobby, months after saving her and her and being together with Buck all this time. No wonder Oliver has been so excited! That man is a menace and petty bench and I love him SO MUCH.

Cheers my friend, I'm probably not going to have to drive home since my car is in the shop so I plan to have a drink and enjoy the chaos! Fun Halloween episode after 84 years, let's fucking gooooo! (Because the Denny stuff is not real, I do not SEE, I do not PERCEIVE.)

[jmdbjk]

JK's Seven live

JK starts off announcing his new single Seven. He immediately says he knows people will be disappointed it is just a single and not an album, but don't worry, he is working on a "full" album. It irritates me that he feels the need to even acknowledge this. JUST BE HAPPY HE'S CREATING NEW MUSIC OF ANY KIND.

He says he likes it and thinks we'll like it a lot and to look forward to it.

My take on perhaps what the MV might be like? He says its a feel good song that fits this time of year and since it was filmed in Los Angeles, the land of palm trees, sunny days and beaches I would expect a lot of outdoor scenes, people having fun, etc... because if it was all filmed on a soundstage, what was the point of filming in Los Angeles? Also, not a single leak of a pic of JK on set anywhere soooo hmmm...

The actor Han Sohee is supposedly very popular and edgy and I would imagine her fanbase and his will dovetail perfectly and the MV will be a match made in marketing heaven. The contact may have been made through Tae and his actor network. We don't know.

... and sorry, this won't be a p*rno film where they will be doing the nasty... no matter how much the homophobes think it will be. I mean... seriously? JK? Who had to get over his bashfulness of posing for cameras with no shirt under his Calvin Klein denim jacket?

Jimin had to gently break it to us that there would be female dancers just touching him (while fully clothed) in the Like Crazy choreo... and y'all think Kookie is going to be inserting his [blank] into a [blank] on camera? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAA... AHAHAHAHAHAAAA....

Anyway...

He also explained his album process is one where he is still working out what his colors and voice are. Which tells me he is much like Jimin in that though he is part of BTS, his central being is not creating the music but performing it. I hope he learns a lot from this process and is able to express his colors and voice to his satisfaction.

He talks about "resting" for so long and how much he really enjoyed this lengthy personal time. Back in February when people were sounding the alarm that he was being held back and forced to stop work... welll... he just said he chose to be a lump on the couch for a long time and apologized. DON'T APOLOGIZE KOOKIE! He's been running as BTS since he was a middle schooler, he deserves to be a lazy lump, JUST LIKE THE LAZY LUMPS EVERY ONE OF YOU ARE WHO JUDGE HIM AND HIS CHOICES ALL THE TIME.

He says the song Seven came about after a meeting with Bang PD and he heard the song and said MINE! I can't wait to see what Kookie did. I suspect this is the song he was recording when we saw this:

[April 16, 2023]

Kookie explains his new piercing:

Like bondage? Wait, that came out of nowhere... never mind, DON'T WANT TO TRIGGER ANY CLOSE-MINDED PEOPLE FOR GOD'S SAKES.

... what were you saying Kookie?

They always try to show "a different side" of themselves in their work. Their photo shoots have run the gamut of concepts. But Jungkook has indulged in tattoos and piercings for a few years now, experimenting first with the fake studs on his eyebrows before plunging in (literally) with a real eyebrow piercing.

You look like a cuddly bunny? Like a sweetie? Cuz you are?

His desire to be less "round" and more "sharp" is intriguing. Edgy is what I believe he's going for. His personality is edgy but perhaps not in the way he perceives "edgy" to mean. So he wants an outward appearance of edgy: tattoos, piercings, the whole motorcycle aura thing which reminds me, when are we going to see him straddling one of the bikes he supposedly owns?

Oh this explains everything...

[Paraphrasing for people in the back: Jungkook says to fuck off, he can do whatever he wants to his own body.]

A TMI: he just had an English lesson earlier. He says the order is difficult and I know exactly what he's talking about. The sentence structure of English and Korean are not the same. English is subject-verb-object, example: Dogs eat kibble. Korean is subject-object-verb: Dogs kibble eat. Also, English past/present/future participles are HARD for those learning English. The brain has to do some mental gymnastics in translating. Takes a lot of practice. He's very good at reading English and pronouncing what he reads. I suspect his struggles with English are conversational English and vocabulary. Not only do you have to recall the correct words to say what you want, you have to construct grammatically correct sentences as the words leave your mouth and its really hard to do that. I am certain he 100% understands English when it is spoken to him.

Another TMI: he had been at the company earlier, and ate buckwheat noodles...

I feel the need to further explain some misleading terminology people are constantly throwing around... not all noodles are "ramen" or "ramyeon". I already explained the difference between "ramen" as Japanese style and "ramyeon" as Korean style but ramen/ramyeon noodles themselves are made of wheat. When Jimin was asked specifically about did he go to Jungkook's for ramyeon, and he said no, he has not been to Jungkook's for ramyeon... but perhaps he's been there for buckwheat noodles which are gluten-free and are what JK used in that last dish he posted a pic of on Weverse. We already know JK has been told to lay off the gluten.

Anyway... back to JK.

He explains his 20/4 intermittent fasting. Some call it the "warrior diet." No eating for 20 hours and then a 4-hour window to eat. This type of eating pattern may impact metabolism and glycemic levels in your blood. If he's been told to lay off the gluten, this type of eating pattern may also be a way of controlling certain levels of blood chemistry throughout the day, especially if he's also working out. The timing of the eating pattern also makes a difference and what you eat during the four hours also impacts the effectiveness. That's all I know about it. Just keep in mind, all the members have a staff of professionals helping them stay healthy and when they say "diet" they don't mean they have eating disorders or are doing anything extreme that would hurt their health, they are following the advice of their trusted professional staff. Jungkook says his eating window is from about 7-8 pm until midnight or so.

After going on for a minute or two about how awesome yet cute Yoongi is, he says he wants to be like that, play instruments and sing and dance and be awesome too but...

I'm only 18 minutes into this 1 hour 50 minute live...

He showed off his mullet:

He still doesn't understand how some comments disappear...

My explanation to Jungkook: there is a complex war of wills happening in the comments where different factions of the fandom attempt to impose control over each other using the "report" function in the live chat. And that some comments, seemingly innocent of motive, "touch your hair", "touch your nose", "make a funny peace sign with both hands", are actually an attempt to coerce you into sending secret hidden signals to those watching in order to confirm that you are half of a "hidden" couple within the group and that you are being controlled and forbidden from living your life freely. These hand gestures (that only they know) and the places on your face that you touch are being intercepted and analyzed and fed into a software program as you speak so that these idiots ... conspirators ... dumbasses um, individuals, can prove their baseless ... ridiculous ... disrespectful ... selfish ... uh ... their fantasies are real. For real. Don't laugh. Ok go ahead and laugh because that's everyone's first impulse.

But for real, stop fiddling with your new piercing because it might get infected if you are constantly touching it with your fingers.

Gratuitous armpit shot for our hairy armpit enthusiasts:

Someone asks him for a spoiler for the song:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA SUCH A REBEL! This is the rebellion everyone insists proves that Kookie-pookie is being held back by the company. Right...

This is your rebel trying to invent his own "heart" gesture:

This is our dorky rebel, y'all... TAKE THAT, HYBE! (oops he gave himself a muscle cramp trying to make his goofy heart hands... our big, edgy, pierced, tatted up Kookie... love him)

And without any warming up, he commenced to working out on his home workout power tower.

Sorry, couldn't resist...

The whole time he's doing his arms work out he's whining about being so tired. Actually the ENTIRE time he's working out...

But he dropped another TMI too:

A shoot? What shoot, JK? And oopsie:

Every time he dropped those free weights to the floor, the neighbors below him probably fell out of bed...

[the chewed up corner of the coffee table is taking me out...]

At least he's not singing with his whole chest for 3 hours straight...

Then he gave himself a pep talk... to make himself do the workout... to finish it... to work on his solo activities well, to stop his habit of starting things and not finishing...

NO PAIN NO GAIN! YOU CAN DO IT KOOKIE!

Koo is gonna be hangry ...

That workout was a killer. Damn. Abs of steel.

As I've been making my way through this live, I've also been kept in the loop about a few things... Celine show has been cancelled. I was concerned that one of ours was in Paris while this turmoil was ongoing so hopefully Tae can get out of there. Maybe he can zip over to London and visit his bae at some point before heading back to Korea.

And hopefully no one gets triggered by this post since I kept it clean-ish. People are ready to call them lovers but saying they might be into certain sexual preferences is off limits? Seriously, check your prejudices before you start coming at me.

[lemotmo]

OMG to your last anon YES! the complete canon Buck erasure that is happening on some of those blogs is batshit crazy. Conquer ten thousand percent and yes the damse/helpless without Tommyl nonsense is gross. They're telling us Buck has been begging people to call him Evan for years and Tommy is just the only one who's listened to him *gag me* WHAT?! I even saw a few that said Tommy will help Buck see that the entire 118 has been emotionally manipulative to him for years and he's just taken it because no one's ever loved him enough to tell him he's worth more until now SERIOUSLY I HATE IT HERE.

Oh and one genius said they can't wait for the episode where Eddie leaves Buck to die in order to save himself and Tommy comes to his rescue and punches Eddie in the face and Buck decides to transfer to Tommy's house as a result. These are people who have supposedly been watching for 6 plus years. What the actual FUCK?

I'm not going to touch the Oliver hate that is creeping more and more into some of it. They finally seemed to agree he's not into it. It is a fandom of Tommy shipping. Buck has nothing to do with it. And those fucking cameo videos are entirely to blame.

Hi Nonny. Yeah, I understand your frustration. I've seen some of these takes around as well. Some of these people dismiss what the show is really about: the 118 as a found family.

Buck is woobyfied and treated as a small boy that needs to be protected by his new big hulky loving boyfriend. That is not the Buck we have come to know and love over the last couple of seasons. He doesn't need protection in a romantic relationship. He needs understanding, recognition and love. And guess what? He already has someone in his life who can give him just that. His name is Eddie Diaz.

The Ryan/Eddie hate is strong in that part of the fandom as well, but lately I have also seen some Oliver hate creep in. I agree that it probably has to do with the total non-reaction by Oliver on the BT relationship.

But look, he never lied about BT or lead them on in any way. He made it clear from the start that BT is a transitional relationship that will end. So he has decided to not engage with that part of the fandom, not willing to give them false hope. He did the same with Buddie in the past, until something changed pre-season 7 and he started gushing about it again. To me this is another sure sign that Buddie is happening.

As for Eddie leaving Buck to die? LOL! As if! That man wouldn't leave Buck to die even if it meant him dying as well. That's devotion.

I find it waaaay more likely that Tommy will be the one to emotionally leave Buck on his own as the 118 will be dealing with Gerrard. I can see Tommy saying: "Just don't interfere and stay low. That's what I did. It'll blow over." after Buck told him once again how Gerrard is making Chim and Hen (and probably Eddie, Ravi and Buck included) pay for what happened with him in the past.

Most of these 'headcanons' floating around were started by Lou on his cameos and -unfortunately- some people just rolled with it. I don't know if they understand that these are things that Lou made up in his mind as an actor, but they aren't real parts of Tommy's character. The writers are the only ones writing Tommy. They decide who he is and how he acts. And so far, Tommy has not really been a very interesting or loving character towards Buck. That is what is canon right now. It's important to keep that in mind.

Ultimately I wouldn't get too worked up about it. The BT scenes were about 17 minutes from a season made up of 10 episodes. A season that has tons of great Buddie scenes, more than ever before. The writing on the wall is as obvious as it can be. It's not our problem that some people can't read it.

[ragingstillness]

Finally getting around to watching CM:E

Thoughts thus far:

Rossi is sad and I remain pissed that they killed Krystal for no reason

Grey!Em is still my favorite thing

Happy to hear some swearing, the original show needed more of it

Let Rossi say fuck 2k24

“Remote Garcias” “we’re not gonna learn their names” lol Luke stays savage

“Anglophile baking club” oh come on Garcia. We all saw how shockingly queer everyone at that party is. It’s a kiki, plain and simple

Weren’t Luke and Garcia going to go on a date? Oh it’s been three years

“Take your carbs and exit sir” I love Garcia so much

“Hoo-ha” lol, burn Goop to the ground

“Korean drama” it’s a BTS anti unsub

Garcia straight up flapping I love her so much

Damn the writers for this Krystal flashback

Emily is gonna eat this Deputy Director alive

Oh thank fuck at least the rest of Dave’s family is alive

The Galvez cheek kiss *eeeee*

That little head kiss, Rossi’s such a dad/grandad

Damn Sicarius how do you have the time to dig all these holes?

Hahahahahaha I picked up on Tara and Rebecca at the same time as Emily

Waha Tara being openly queer!!!

Paget is like a proud mama that someone in the BAU finally gets to be queer

Dang this cashier girl is like literally saying exactly what I do at work

“My floof” I relate to this girl so hard

“Jagoff!” “Fuckhead!” Get his ass Rossi

Damn this therapy talk is so accurate go Garcia

Garcia and Rossi’s friendship is my Roman Empire

Man I can’t believe Sicarius actually thought that he could control obsessional killers. Dude, they aren’t going to listen to you

Sicarius you anti-retail asshole. I will dream of smashing you in the head with an axe from the hardware store where I work

Emily and Dave walking together both with grey hair look so cool now

“Is everyone but me getting laid?” “I’m not” lol ngl I appreciate the increased sexual humor

That’s my girl Garcia! I hate what it’s gonna do to your mental health to be back but I’m happy to see you

Dude if you’re gonna be a criminal psychopath with these amazing computer skills, how are you not at least making money off of it? Like, there is zero reason for you to be poor. Normally I wouldn’t say that about anyone but dude, are you seriously providing these kill kits for free?

Wait a sec he actually /took/ the dog? He didn’t just kill it? Dickhead!

“This fucking guy” yeah Rossi, read my mind about most unsubs on this show

Rebecca and Tara’s height difference is kind of killing me in this elevator scene they’re so cute

Garcia are you wearing Rocky Horror earrings? Love that

Haha fine furry friends returns

Dang y’all is Rossi the only one allowed to say fuck? It makes him sound like a teenager that just learned all the swear words. Let Garcia say fuck 2k24

I can’t believe that it’s an actual plot line that COVID prevented serial killers from killing so they had to change it up and go online. I’m sure the writers thought it sounded cool but it just sounds silly. What, did Sicarius’ first kill kits also include PPE?

Also why are these guys so willing to kill themselves for Sicarius? They seem like devoted to the cause and frankly, so many of these guys are narcissists and we’ve just seen one defy Sicarius, why are they listening to him? Seriously? No matter what he has on them, why would they consider it more important to follow his orders than their compulsions?

“You two-faced little jerk” yeah I hope he heard that

Soon we’re gonna be seeing Emily’s daydreams about killing people, not just Sicarius’.

Seriously, the idea of Sicarius having money problems is so dumb to me. He’s been shown to have immense resources and technological capability as well as ample time to use them. There is no reason why he should be financially unstable. I get that stuff like private school is expensive but dude, DUDE, you’re running a network of serial killers! It’s not THAT expensive! I feel like this whole plot point is set up to humanize him to a degree and it isn’t working well.

God whatever props guy worked on these posts for the fake forum Sicarius is using had fun. There’s a user named George_Jungle_fkr whose post consists of “I have a waifu, too!!! She lives in the jungle. I fuck in the jungle. I kill in the jungle.” With a profile picture of George of the Jungle. No shit. Pause on that screen, it’s wild. User GetHungry1893 with a post about not judging people and a profile pic of a man with bloody hands sucking on a bone. User NotSoFast with a drag racing car profile pic and with a post titled “I’m getting more guns!” That then goes on to use the phrase “waifu” and *wink wink*. User Tiredoftheblood101 with a bloodspot clipart profile pic and use of the term “OP”, asking about how to kill his MOM (capitalization his). Also in the background a user named Anonymous1232 with the anonymous logo as their profile pic.

Wait Sicarius actually has a real job? He wasn’t just bullshitting about it so he could travel all over the country? What, is running this serial killer network like a side hustle for him? Wait wait wait and he’s going on business trips that the company is actually sending him on? Like he’s following their directives? And driving a company car? This is insane. If they’re gonna characterize Sicarius the way they have been, none of this makes sense. Side note: the guy playing Sicarius is actually a good actor and after some of the previous disappointments (Scratch and the Chameleon) it’s nice to see.

This DEI discussion between Sicarius’ daughter and the redneck neighbor was not something I expected to see in Criminal Minds.

“You fucking beta cuck” yeah pretty much what I’d expect from a guy like this. But also, hysterical to hear incel language being used in real life. Damn man, you just called his daughter a bitch? He’s gonna flay you alive! I wouldn’t provoke anyone like that, even without knowing they’re the head of a serial killer network. Anyone can snap you dumbass.

“Somebody should do something about that guy.” Oh of course she says this to the serial killer. Good lord. “I’m glad you’re not that somebody.” Oh honey yes he is lol. Or he’ll send someone from the network to do it.

Ha I just realized that I carried a case exactly like the kill kit cases when I worked for the Red Cross. Contained equally suspicious things (needles, gauze, etc), if you didn’t know what company I was working for lol.

“Those who bankrolled you” then why is he having money problems god this is so dumb! “I’m not putting a gun to my head” yeah I predicted this would happen.

More hysterical users on Sicarius’ platform: User NotSoFast at it again “I miss my family. Bad aim” User Ript4u, with a muscular torso pic talking about the fruitlessness of love, calling people lemmings, “simps,” “bitchboy,” “I will dominate,” and the delightful paragraph “These bitches think they’re got it all figured out. Walking on a cloud of happy thoughts and unicorn farts.”

Haha Garcia said fan fiction! We made it to the mainstream lol.

“Honey let it go” woman he called your daughter a bitch! I’d punch him for that!

Damn Tara you’re gonna get your gf fired

“Typical bureaucratic bullshit” yes YES the old man is out! Rossi ur a king

Is Sicarius really there in person! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Oh wow he is what a dumbass! And so close to the bomb zone too! Did you want to get blown up too?!

Yeah bringing in domestic terror was a mistake.

“Excellent. I never wanted it in the first place” also kind of misogynistic to turn to Rossi after Emily rejected you.

“Wank-weasel” Garcia ur my spirit animal

“You’re a hedge fund manager with a badge. You have never done anything” get his ass Emily! I guess after Barnes the BAU has completely lost their patience for bureaucratic dickheads

“I just wanted you to hold my hand” they are soft gfs and I love them

About time one of the unsubs turned on Sicarius

Screw the propaganda that you can just make dogs eat people when they’ve been totally docile and relaxed their whole lives

Hey Sicarius, you remembering how annoying it is to do your own cleanup now?

Who the fuck is this guy Elias is hallucinating?

Genuinely curious how he finds time to make these custom foam inserts for the briefcases

Ok why is it taking so long to identify the victims found from Sicarius? This is set in 2022, DNA is fast and common.

Can’t believe this Tyler guy looked into Garcia enough to send her the encrypted locations but not enough to figure out she literally worked for the FBI. His anger over her handing over the info makes zero sense.

I know a lot of ppl hate Will for getting in the way of Jemily but he’s a very good husband. Patient, intelligent, cute. I like him.

“I believe you, but will Mom?” This new sibling energy between Rossi and Emily is everything. Also that burgundy blazer set is amazing on her.

I think Tyler has a little crush on Garcia. He just wants a woman who will kick his ass.

“Because of you I feel safe in our home” so cute literally so romantic I love them when they’re sweet

Only tangentially related but I’d love to see an episode where a serial killer breaks into another serial killer’s house. Like would it go “whoops my bad” or “you asshole you jacked my plan!” or would they just kill each other

Garcia’s little rant is hilarious

“I’m not a problem. I’m a delight. I’m a little dramatic but wonderful” yes you are Garcia

I almost believe the deputy director truly didn’t want to be overseeing this case. My guess, without watching the episode, is that he wants to prove he has some field experience so Emily can’t use it against him anymore. Also he might have a small crush on her and be a little afraid of Rossi. This season is full of men who like dominant women and I support that. I don’t support any sort of relationship between this man and Emily but I support the concept

“Bullshit. She broke your heart.” Welcome to working with profilers sir.

Also finally figured out what Emily’s scathing inditement of the deputy director reminded me of: it’s Hotch’s profiling of his team to defend them against Strauss

Emily’s smile when she finally got one over the deputy director, so pretty

Garcia and her ‘puter like she literally did the cat meme

Ok the orange crocs are a sin I would throw a folder at him too

Not surprised Will doesn’t have cancer but pissed they even teased us with it.

Haha Garcia is gonna make that dude keep the cat lol

Oh hey Sicarius. Nice to see you. Gonna kill a senator now?

lol Sicarius is like yeah I’m not sticking around for this freaky Oedipal shit. You can bankroll me, but I’m not into voyeurism on this

I know we’re supposed to be worried but 1) using a streaming site undercuts the tension of thinking a character will die and 2) that was the sexiest wheels up ever

Hahaha wow they didn’t even try to give us a realistic justification for Sicarius taking off his shirt

[whosname]

Would ya let me ramble for a moment about the first Gintama live-action movie?

I was so wary about it 'cause live-actions are... live-actions, but I have a ton of fun watching it

i mean, from the first scene and then Gintoki's actor badly singing... I guess I'll have to make a justaway keychain for my self.

The beetle hunting adaptation, delicious, laughed more than I should

(I think I miss these idiots more than I thought)

Somehow Kondo is even more creepy in the live-action. yikes.

Shokasonjuko scenes!!!!!!

Oh, I thought Gintoki's wig was weird ('till I saw him in action) but... Kid Gintoki has a HUGE helmet for hair

"But the boogers keep coming" I KNOW, RIGHT?!

(Also, that's a totally big bro Zura scene)

"He's got to stop drinking it, or he'll be diabetic"

The Shinsengumi thing is weird, but it kind of works; specially the "Liar! That's obviously your lying face" scene with Sogo

The dream

I love that Kagura's actress is having the time of her life

Shinpachi admiring the ship made laugh a lot

I hate to play the impulsive punk at my age + the umbrella scene = my favourite part of Benizakura in all of the adaptations

The scene at old man Gengai's shop, I loved it; doesn't make a lot of sense but, I loved it

Have I talked about the costumes? I like the little details, the button on Shinpachi's kimono, the patch on Gin's (the pattern looked a little weird, but whatever), Takasugi's clothes!

Seriously, the Shinsengumi there, it's so fucking weird. Also, Toshi and Gintoki relashioship is better than the relationship they had at that time in the story. I guess I'll see what happens in the second movie.

Short-haired Zura!

"The dumbest samurai in the universe!" <3

"Don't worry, he's my friend"

I got very distracted at the end of Gintoki vs Takasugi 'cause I remembered the comment about Gintoki's actor absurdly long legs on the anime and Takasugi's actor having to shave his legs and being grumpy about it from the bts' gifs.

Also, is Takasugi's actor that short or they used hobbit film techniques?

"Too much sugar, I guess"

kind of missed the Bakuchi Dancer fight, but I guess amanto were expensive

The parachute scene <3

Next! The Rules are Made to be Broken and... I've been searching for the Okita Mitsuba Arc drama but I've only find it with indonesian subtitles so... if you know something... wink-wink nudge-nudge Found it! if anyone need it, hit me up! (maybe not in the best quality and from like 3 different sources, but hey)

[starofhisheart]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OFMD S2 EP6-7 under the cut

Ok, that was A LOT. I have so many feelings but no coherence so i'm gonna do this bullet point form but def not in order, just in order of me remembering wtf happened lol

-IZZY AND WEE JOHN IN DRAG!!!!! Wee John looked STUNNING with that Divine-esque appearance and Izzy had that transmasc drag king kind of thing going on (iykyk) that made me love him even more

-Izzy singing LA VI EN ROSE took me tf out!!! i'm glad he got to finish it after the *ahem* distractions bc Con's voice is so beautiful I could listen to it forever. We better get it in the album!!! Also someone posted the lyrics translated and i cannot get over the lyrics:

"It's him for me,/And me for him, for life/He told me, he swore to me, for life"

-But not only was he singing the second half had fucking gentlebeard doing the dirty in the next room asdfghjkl which.....was hot, ngl. The passion was electrifying. I'm sorta glad we didnt rlly see it with everything that happened after bc it all kinda left a bad taste in my mouth.

Also Stede Bonnet canonically gets turned on by violence confirmed

Or trauma. Whatever.

-What else happened in ep 6 cause all i can think of is drag and singing and sex-

-oh yeah there was that shortlived sexually-charged torturer who i distinctly recall him being in another scene in the promo so unless that got the cut perhaps he's not dead...?

-Lupete missing all the action cause they were doing the nasty all night lmao so real

-Jim best wingman (gender neutral)

-Stede...Stedey boy, can I call u that? Now i'm gonna say this nicely, but WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? Stede in his white guy w undue confidence era fr. Zheng Yi Sao was so right for what she did truly

-But in all seriousness i feel like this whole thing in ep 7 was such a parallel to s1 but also a very necessary bit of conflict in their journey together that was bound to happen. THey want different things and neither is wrong or right for that. Stede did react poorly tho but like he just had sex w the love of his life, his first man, and Ed the very next day is like "aight i'm out". I'd be pissed too. After killing someone which we know is a big trigger for him historically.

But Ed also had a valid reaction. He's wanted to retire for a while and stede knows this but it hasn't seemed to have sunk in quite yet. He fears that Stede only sees Blackbeard and...its fair of him to have that impression tbh. These are two messy, traumatized dudes who have never had a real relationship and there's gonna be bumps. I hope we get s3 so we can better explore that like Djenks wants.

-Ok back to the fun stuff:

-Izzy barging in on GB and the docking joke. love his cringefail ass.

-IZZY IS HAPPY FOR ED EVEN IF ITS NOT WITH HIM

#growth

-the edizzy apology which was so typical of them. i expected it but bc i'd been building it up in my head all week w twitter pals it felt a bit anticlimactic but thats not the shows fault. it was very much in character and if they're satisfied so am i. i always have fic for more

-stizzy commiserating over losing ed pls thats all i've ever wanted!!!!!

izzy: "when i told him i loved him he-"

stede, like he's heard this story before: "shot u yes"

and the look they gave each other after!!!!! stizzy nation how we feelin?!

-izzy being like "stede no" when he was on his macho bullshit w zheng yi sao (also motivated by trauma bc he just lost ed, he cant lose MORE family!!!). i just like how protective iz seems of stede now.

-izzy''s "you're good for him" CRYING THROWING UP ETCETERA

-ed catching 1 fish and deciding thats his life now. adhd realness fr

-the swede whew is it hot in here or is that just jackie's effect on her husbands?

-jackie and ed actin like old friends. swede highkey shading ed adfghjkl

-anyway im sure there's more but i need to rewatch. there r things i wont go into bc its possible spoilers for the finale (tho its mostly just speculation some is based on bts not everyone may have seen). i am looking forward to and terrified for the show to end next week thats all i'll say

[xjoonchildx]

Lady, get a grip

Seriously, he's got more tricks up his sleeve and you know it. Btw, what kind of porn do you watch to write stuff like that?

And puhlease don't say, 'I only watch BTS. They invoke the goddess on me'. Shut it and share the hot gifs and videos of BTS. I want me some. There are cobwebs down there and I am yet to find an attainable JK.

me reading this ask 10 times and trying to follow the tone

anon, what a ride lmao

let’s take this one step by step.

yes, i agree that JK hasn’t even rolled out his full arsenal and every single one of should be very, very worried for when that day finally comes. not that anyone needs to be reminded, but Calvin Klein does sell underwear, amiright?

i’m dying a little inside at your question about porn 🤣😭🤣

the truth is that porn doesn’t play a lot into my ideas when it comes to sex scenes. i honestly think reading romance plays more into it. I’ve definitely torn through my fair share of bodice rippers and gravitate towards writers that aren’t terribly porn-y in the smut scenes. and because writing for me is entirely self-indulgent, i’m always writing men the way i wish they were vs. the way they might be in real life or porn.

anyway i will shut it now and continue to share sexy BTS videos and GIFs because the real world out there is pretty fucking terrible rn.

let’s all take a breath and enjoy this escape:

[bteezxyewriter12]

I Swear I Had A Plan With Those

Bully/1

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 4.9k

Includes- Angst, hatred, remembering of past bullying

Tag List- @tinyidle @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist

📝Namjoon Masterlist

Note- remember this fic is unfinished with lots of scenes abruptly stopping

Disclaimer- we all know our Joonie is a sweetie pie and would never do the things in this fic to anyone

J POV

No fucking way

Seriously?

I thought I was done with him

Done with his torture, done with him making me feel like absolute shit, all through high school

But no

Of course he has to be in the kpop group I'm hired to be a makeup artist for

Kim, fucking Namjoon

The bane of my high school existence, my worst bully, walks into the dressing area with the rest of the group members

Really?

I can't fucking do this

One of the members looks at me, walking closer

He smiles and waves, "Hi, I'm

J-Hope. You can call me Hobi"

Ok, he's really friendly

I wave back, "Hi. I'm Joanne"

"Are you the new make up artist?", one with blue hair asks

"Yeah", I nod

"Cool. I'm Tae", he introduces himself

I nod at him

One by one they all introduce themselves

Then Namjoon looks at me, smiles and says, "Hi, I'm Namjoon"

I die inside

He doesn't remember me?

I look at him and see absolutely no recognition in his face

He doesn't remember

He made my life fucking hell, but he doesn't recognize me

How could he forget the person he tortured every single day for four years?

How?

My looks didn't change much since high school

I'm not a completely different person

How can he not remember?

It's killing me

I can never forget him but he forgot me like I'm nothing

"Hi", I say coldly, so fucking angry

His eyebrows raise but I look away

"So I have to do J-Hope, Suga and V's makeup"

I point to Hobi, "You're J-Hope"

He nods

"Whose V?"

"Me!", Tae says smiling

His smile is adorable

"And whose Suga?"

"Right here", Yoongi answers

"Ok I also have to do RM's make up if there's time. Whose that?"

"Me"

No, fuck no

I slowly turn my gaze to Namjoon

"You?"

He nods

Fucking fantastic

I don't want to touch him

I don't want him near me

I'm taking my sweet ass time so I don't have to do his make up

"Ok Uh Hobi, I guess you're first"

"Ok", he smiles

Christ his smile is gorgeous

What is with all these guys being so beautiful?

I start with Hobi's foundation, smoothing it in with a beauty sponge

Jesus his skin is already perfect

How?

And why does he need face makeup?

Why do any of them, their skin is flawless

Hobi talks to me the whole time

He's really funny and so adorable

Tae also speaks to me when I do his makeup

His deep voice is such a turn on

Tae has a unique personality

I feel like he's a really fun person to be around

Maybe we can be friends

When Yoongi sits down, I hold in a breath

He's fucking beautiful

He doesn't talk so much but when he does, I love his voice

He asks a few questions like how I can speak Korean, where I'm from and some others

When he smiles, he takes my breath away

When Yoongi is done, I relax a little

"Hey Joanne!", Lisa, one of the other makeup artists yells

"Yeah?"

"Can you do Namjoon's makeup? I'm behind and I need help"

Fucking shit

I don't want to but I can't say no

It's my first day on the job, I don't want to cause any waves

But fuck who does it have to be him?

"Fine", I call her

I take a deep breath, then call him

"RM"

Namjoon looks up at me

"I'm doing your make up. Come on", I snap

"Oh ok"

He sits in the chair in front of me

Anger and hate are flowing through me

I start on his foundation

Jesus even his skin is flawless

How?

"So uh...did you just move here?", he asks

Is he fucking for real?

"No.", I answer

"Oh? How long have you been here?"

I can't do this

I'm going to flip out

"Since I was 15. I left for school but I came back", I growl

He raises his eyebrows at my tone

"Are you ok?",

No

No I'm not

"Yes"

"But you sound-"

"Look, I don't want to talk ok? Let me just do your makeup", I snarl

"Oh uh ok", he answers looking surprised and confused

He's silent for the rest of the time

I see him staring at me but I ignore him

I know he's confused but I couldn't care less

I just want him away from me

I finish his make up quickly but it still looks good

"Done", I say, turning away from him

I start closing the make up supplies

"Uh thanks", he says

"Yeah"

I hear him walk away

How am I going to do this job?

I don't want to be around him

I don't want to see him

I hate him

I should just quit, move back to the US and get my old job back

I need to talk to my boss

-------------

Namjoon POV

I'm so confused

I can't concentrate on the photo shoot

The new make up artist is being so cold to me

I don't know why

When I first saw her, my mouth almost dropped

She's the most stunning girl I've ever seen

But the second she looked at me, her smile dropped and she looked pissed

I've never had a reaction like that from someone I worked with

Hell from someone I've never seen before

I tried talking to her but she basically told me to shut up

I saw her talk so easily with Hobi, Tae and Yoongi

Why was she so nice to them but not me?

Does she know BTS and she just doesn't like me?

I remember when a lot of people didn't like me, called me ugly, untalented and told me to leave BTS

Is she one of those people?

But then I remember that she was asking our stage names and she didn't know who was who, so I don't think she knows us

I look over at her

She's standing to the side with the other makeup artists, waiting to check our make up and fix anything thats messed up

Yoongi goes over to her, pointing to his eye, talking to her

She smiles at him, answering

He sits down in front of her while she gets out some make up and a brush

She moves his hair away from his eyes, holding it while she fixes his eyeshadow

Jealousy flood my veins

Why is she being so warm with him but she's so cold with me?

About ten minutes later, Tae goes and taps her shoulder

She turns around, again smiling at him

He asks her a question and she checks his face

She shakes her head, talking to him and he smiles

Which makes her smile again

What the fuck?

I try to pose but I keep fucking up

"Namjoon what's going on? You ok?", the photographer asks

"Uh yeah I'm ok. Just tired"

"Take a break for a few minutes. Get your makeup checked, get food then come back"

I nod

I slowly walked to Joanne

"Uh excuse me. Can you check my make up?", I ask

She glares at me, scanning my face

"You're fine", she snaps then turns away from me

What the hell?

Why does she hate me?

As I walk away I'm so confused as to what's going on

------

"I like our new makeup artist. She's really nice", Jungkook comments during dinner

I almost choke on my food

"Yea she's really sweet", Jin agrees

"And funny! She was cracking jokes back at me today", Hobi laughs

"And she's gorgeous", Yoongi adds

"Oh yeah", Jimin agrees

"So pretty", Tae chimes in

"I couldn't stop staring at her when she did my make up", Yoongi admits

I keep quiet

I don't want to say anything bad since they all seem to have such positive interactions with her

It's just me she's not nice to

"Namjoon?", Jin calls

I lift my head to see all the guys staring at me

Shit

Did they ask me something?

"Uh what?", I ask

"I asked what you think of Joanne? You didn't say anything while we were talking", Hobi answers

"Oh yeah she's nice. A little quiet but she's nice. And beautiful"

"Maybe she was blown away by your good looks and she was too stunned to talk", Jimin laughs

Yeah right I wish

I just smile to get them off my back

I need to talk to her more, maybe she'll warm up to me

I want to get to know her

I hope she'll give me a chance

--------

Walking into the dressing room a few days later, I see Joanne

She looks up and I give her a smile

She glares at me again, rolling her eyes

I feel my smile fall

I guess she still hates me

Sitting down, I take out my phone looking through it

But nothing is catching my attention

I'm upset that she doesn't like me

I hate that I don't know why

"RM", I hear and look up

She's glaring at me

"Come on", she snaps, gesturing to the chair

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

2 months later

Namjoon POV

Joanne hates me and I don't know why

She's been here for two months and she never talks to me

She doesn't do my makeup that much and I found out that she specifically requested not to do mine

That was a punch in my heart

She only does it if there's no choice

She doesn't look at me, she glares

She's so cold when she has to speak to me or be around me

And she's completely the opposite with the guys

She talks so much with Yoongi, she laughs with Jin and Hobi, she jokes with Jimin and Jungkook and she's silly with Tae

It's only me she doesn't interact with

If I try to talk to her she shuts me down completely or she just answers with as few words as possible or shrugs

The shitty part is that I like her

A lot

I'm falling hard for her

I love her personality

I watch her when she's with the guys and she's the sweetest, loving, caring and funny person

Just not to me

Her smile takes my breath away and her eyes are gorgeous

She's smart and she loves to read like me

She loves music but I don't know what kind because she never talks to me

We have a lot in common and I want to be with her, ask her out, but she won't give me the time of day

And I want to know why

--------

I walk into the dressing room and spot her by the makeup

A week passed and we haven't needed to get our makeup done for anything so I wasn't able to talk to her

But today we're doing a photo shoot and I can talk to her

And I'm not leaving until she tells me why she hates me

I know she has me today because I specifically requested to have her

Otherwise I'd never be able to talk to her

She does Yoongi and Tae's make up first

I watch as she talks, jokes and smiles at them and I get so jealous

I can't help it

I wish she'd do that with me

I'd give anything to see her smile at me

Finally when Tae's done, I see her face drop as she calls me

"RM"

She never calls me by my name

Just RM

She calls all the guys by their names and nicknames

She even made one up for Yoongi since he doesn't really have one

But I'm just RM

I think she'd call me Mr. Kim if she could

And that bothers me

I sit in the chair in front of her and she doesn't look at me or say anything

"Hi", I say and she just nods at me

She starts doing my make up silently

"Uh Joanne can I talk to you for a minute?", I ask

"Why?", she snaps

"Uh, I have something I want to ask you"

"What?"

Fuck

This isn't going how I wanted it to

She's so hostile towards me

"Why do you hate me?", I blurt

Her hands stops moving and she finally looks at me

And I see anger and hate in them

It's scary

"You're a fucking idiot", she says angrily

"What?", I ask surprised

"You're a fucking idiot", she says louder, "You really don't remember?"

"Remember what? I don't know what you're talking about"

She laughs dryly, "Of course you wouldn't. Just forget it. I don't want to talk to you. I'll get someone else to finish your make up"

What the hell?

She tosses her brushes on the table behind her and starts leaving

I get up immediately

I need to know what I did

"Wait. Joanne. Wait. Tell me what I did. I'll fix it"

She stops in her tracks and turns around

"Uh everything ok guys?", Jin says nervously

"No", she answers

"What's wrong?", Jimin asks concerned

"Him. He's what's wrong. He's always what's wrong", she snaps, her gaze burning holes in me

"What did I do to you? I don't know."

"Of course you don't. Why would you remember?", she says louder, getting angrier

I stared at her

I really don't know what she's talking about

She's acting like I know her

"You know me RM"

I do?

From where?

I think but I can't recall her at all

"I don't think so-"

"Yeah you do. But back then you used to call me stupid fucking American and slut while your girlfriend called me bitch or whore

"What?", Jimin gasps

Oh no

Oh god

"You remember now? The American girl you tortured and teased and bullied all through high school? Then you got your girlfriend to do it too?", she snarls

Oh my god, that was her

I can see it now

I see her clearly

How could I not have realize?

And I'm frozen in shock

All the memories come rushing back

How I made fun of her

How I called her names

How I made her cry almost everyday

"What the hell Namjoon?", Hobi questions

"I...I..."

"Nothing to say? Not gonna tell them how you made four years of my life miserable? How you and you're fucking girlfriend spread rumors about me, turned everyone against the foreign girl? I was alone everyday at school. No one wanted to talk to the girl Kim, Namjoon hated"

I swallow hard

I didn't hate her

I was in love with her

From the first day I saw her

But I couldn't be with her

The kids in my school didn't like foreigners

They were bullied relentlessly and any Korean who spoke to them was bullied right along with them and considered outcasts

And no way was I going against the whole school to be with a foreigner

I was one of the "cool kids" and I wanted it to stay that way

And I was so pissed off that I fell in love with her and couldn't have her

I was such an idiot

And it makes so much sense that I'm in love with her again

I fell for the same person, twice

"Namjoon, is what she's saying true?", Hobi asks

"Yyyy...yes", I answer

"Seriously? Why would you do that?", Tae questions

"I don't know"

I can't say because I loved her

She snorts, "You don't know? That's great. You made my life hell for no reason. Thanks"

"What did you do to her Namjoon?", Yoongi asks

I can't answer

I don't want to tell them

I don't want to think about it

That's not me anymore

"He's not going to tell you. He probably doesn't even remember half the things he did"

No I remember

I remember clearly and that's the problem

I'm so ashamed of the way I treated her

"What did he do Jo?", Jungkook asks

"What didn't he do? I came here when I was 15 just in time for high school. Great right? New country, new language, new school. As if that wasn't bad enough. I sat next to him in one class because that was the only seat left."

I remember

She came in my class with another teacher and she took my breath away

The seat next to me was the only one left in class and she was told to sit there

She was really shy, keeping her eyes down even when she sat next to me

"At first he ignored me like everyone else. But one day I wasn't paying attention in class and I missed the instructions. So I asked him what was said. He glared at me and told me not to talk to him and that I needed to pay attention. I was surprised but I thought he was just one of those kids who hated everyone and wanted to be left alone. There were kids like that in my school in New York. So I didn't take it personally. Until he said "Stupid fucking American"."

She turns to me, "Remember Namjoon?"

I do

This is the first time she said my name to me and she said it with so much hate

It hurts but I know it's nothing compared to how she's feeling

"After that he did everything to make my life miserable. He called me "stupid fucking American" and " slut in korean, which I had no idea what that word meant until I got a grasp on the language. He kept telling me to go back to New York, no one wanted me here, I shouldn't have come here, I'm ruining Korea and shouldn't be here. He told me these things every single day, all day. When I was in the hallway and he saw me he yelled, "Go back to America, slut". Soon everyone was calling me that. They heard him call me stupid fucking American too and the kids started calling me that too. No one said my real name. It was always some kind of insult."

Jesus, I made her life horrible

I feel so bad

I just wanted her and I couldn't have her

And I was ok if she left me alone, but when she spoke to me, I had to get her to stop

So I insulted her

But I kept doing it

I didn't have to keep doing it but I did

The guys are looking at me with disgust

I deserve it

"You remember Namjoon? You got all the kids to turn against me. And you remember the rumors you and your girlfriend spread about me?"

I nod, so ashamed

I can never forget those rumors

"Then fucking tell them what you did!", she shouts, fury radiating off her

The guys all look at me

I don't want to answer but I have to

I did this to her and I need to say it

"Uh...my girlfriend at the time hated her. So uh she started the rumor that Joanne was in Korea because she was expelled from her school in America for sleeping with three of her teachers. And that she needed to get far away from America so she came here. And to keep an eye on her to see if she sleeps with any of the teachers here."

Holy shit", Tae stares at me horrified

"You let your girlfriend do that?", Jin asks incredulously

I hang my head, "Yes, I didn't stop her. I helped her and repeated the rumors too."

"That's fucked up", Yoongi shakes his head

"His girlfriend started calling me bitch and whore and soon everyone was calling me that too"

"Oh my god", Jimin gasps

"Do you know how many guys asked me to fuck them? How many told me that they could fuck me the best? How many asked me how long they have to wait to fuck me? Because apparently there was a list going around of guys I "agreed" to fuck and all the guys were adding their names to it. I was told so many times how they wanted to hear how a slut moans and see how good I can fuck them. I was fucking harassed everyday. I kept getting touched. They touched my hair, my arms, my legs, my hands. I started wishing for everyone to go back to ignoring me.", she says angrily, tears pooling in her eyes

I feel like such an asshole

"Do you know how many times I was jumped by a group of fucking girls? How many fights I got into because they started it? How many black eyes, bruises, scratches, cuts? Did you know your girlfriend was part of a group that jumped me?"

I had no fucking idea, she never told me

"Yeah her and seven other girls jumped me after school. They followed me home, dragging me into the park by my house. They hit my face so many times. When I fell, they started kicking my body all over. You're girlfriend stomped on my wrist. I had to go to the hospital. I had to get stitches by my eye and my lip because they split it. I had three broken ribs and a broken wrist. I was out of school for a week and half because of those injuries. Remember that?"

She was out of school because she was in the hospital?

I thought she just didn't want to come to school

I didn't know she was hurt

"You must have been so bored because you were even worse when I came back. You remember what you said?"

"I....I....said that you...deserved to have your wrist broken and that you should have broken more bones", I whisper

"Namjoon. What the fuck?", Jimin gasps

"Yeah. And the fact I was hurt didn't stop any girl from coming after me. My dad started to teach me how to defend myself after I got the shit kicked out of me and put in the hospital. After that I fought back and kicked the shit out of any girl who touched me. But that didn't stop you. You started calling me a psycho bitch"

I know

I hate that I did that to her

I was such a horrible person

"Your parents didn't know?", Jungkook asks her

She shakes her head, "I didn't want to tell them. They were stressed from their jobs too and they were having a hard time here too. So I just kept quiet. The only reason they knew about me getting jumped was because I had to go to the hospital"

"I'm so sorry Jo", Yoongi says

Silence falls for a few seconds until she says, "You know I left Korea because of you"

Wait what?

She did?

Oh god, I didn't want that

"You did?", Hobi asks

She nods, "Yeah. I was sick of being here. I hated it here. After I graduated, I asked my parents to let me move to California with my older cousin for school. A week after graduation I was gone. I went to school there and worked as a special effects makeup artist. But I missed my family and they convinced me to come back and work here. So I came back because I figured I'd never see him again. I got this job and I was happy about it until he walked in the fucking door."

That's why she was glaring at me on her first day

"But Jo, you didn't know he was in BTS?", Jin asks

"No. I hated everything about Korea. I was bullied the entire time I was here and I wanted to forget everything korean. I didn't listen to kpop. I tried to forget my time here. I didn't know what BTS was. So no I didn't know", she answers

She glares at me, tears welling in her eyes and my heart crashes to the floor

"And the worst part was that he didn't even remember me. He didn't recognize me", she says, tears falling down her face

I feel so horrible

I hate that she's crying

I made her cry back then and I'm still doing it

"He didn't remember the girl whose life he made miserable for four years. He came in, smiled at me and I died inside. I could never forget him but he forgot me. It's like everything he did was nothing to him, it didn't matter, but to me it was everything. I cried everyday, I dreaded waking up and going to school. I wanted to disappear everyday. I went to sleep wishing I wouldn't wake up. But he forgot everything he did. And that's so much worse than everything he ever did back then. He really doesn't care"

I do care

I feel awful that I didn't recognize her

But I never forgot what I did to her

I always think about it and wish that I could apologize to the girl I bullied

The first girl I loved

But I really had no clue that girl was in front of me for three months

But now I see her and I can't believe I didn't recognize her

"I'm sorry. I really am Joanne. I'm sorry for everything I did. I never forgot what I did to you. I think about it all the time and I wished I could apologize to you. I'm not like that anymore."

She just stares at me and I know she's gonna go off on me

Because even though I'm apologizing, I know it means nothing to her

It wouldn't mean anything to me

"You're sorry? Sorry? Fuck you Namjoon. Like saying sorry fucking matters!", she shouts, "I don't care that you changed, if you even did. You'll always be that fucking asshole that made my life horrible for four fucking years. I never did anything to you. I asked a fucking question once and you turned the whole school against me. I hate you"

I know I deserve it but it hurts so much when she says she hates me

"Stay the fuck away from me. Don't fucking talk to me, don't look at me. I'm never doing your make up again. I would fucking quit this job but I stay for them because I love them and they're my friends", she yells, pointing at the guys, "Forget I exist. You did it once. Do it again"

Then she turns and storms out of the room

The entire room is silent

"Namjoon, I don't know what to say. I really can't imagine you being that way. You're nothing like that", Hobi says quietly

"I...I changed after that. After all the hate we got in the beginning, I realized that I was the same as those people. I did the same thing to her. I hated the way I used to be so I changed. I hate that I was that asshole to someone else. I hate that I didn't realize what I was doing until much later."

"Why did you do it? Why her? Why a girl?", Yoongi asks angrily

"I don't know. I don't. She was different, she didn't know Korean so I could say whatever I wanted and she wouldn't know."

"But she learned Korean. She speaks it well!", Tae yells

"By then I couldn't stop and I didn't care. But later on I did it because....", I trail off

How am I going to say this?

They're going to think I'm crazy

How can I tell them I loved her from the beginning?

They wouldn't understand

I don't even understand why I didn't just leave her alone

"What?", Jungkook demands

"Because I liked her. I wanted her. And I was horrified that I felt that way. I knew she would never be with me after what I did and that pissed me off. I was an idiot. I was pissed at her and not myself. I asked a Korean girl, Hyo, in my class out and she was my girlfriend for the rest of high school. Hyo hated Joanne. She was jealous of how beautiful Joanne is and how all the guys wanted her, even though they made fun of her too. That's why Hyo spread the rumor about her"

"You fucked this girl's life, you realize that right?", Yoongi points out

I nod

I know and I'm so sorry

They have no idea how sorry I am

"You're so lucky that she didn't try to kill herself because of what you did! I'm sure she was depressed and if she was it's because of you!", Jin snaps

I know

He's right

And it kills me

I know what it's like to be depressed

I was depressed from all the hate I got when we started

I hate that I made someone else feel that way

"She's strong. She went through all of that and she's still strong. She still achieved her dream of being a makeup artist. She's a tough girl.", Yoongi says

"Leave her alone Namjoon. Don't make things worse for her now", Tae demands

I nod

I want to make it up to her

I still want her like I did in high school

I love her

I want to show her that I'm different

But she'll never let me

And I don't blame her

🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨🐨

This next part of the story was where I was going to have the reader watch Namjoon and notice how different he is over a few months

She would see how he talks to people like the staff and his ARMYS during a fan meet, watch him encouraging the members, being the best leader we all know he is

And she slowly falls in love with him

[lover-of-mine]

Lady Whistledown here. I'm laughing that stuck, but I will take it. Literally, no one important just ended up there. The readers' digest version for those who didn't see the original goes like this.

In the beginning, it was all fun, and games and delusions of grandeur were written till E6, really.

That's when the Buck Tommy kind of flat lined, and what was shown was meh. Then they were desperately praying there would be on on screen pledge of commitment to shut us up before the season ended. Never happened. Pretty much all of the speculation came from paying for Lous Cameos. They built stories around them. Heavily used his cameo wearing the medal when he said they were "thriving." We all know they literally had one scene after that. Then Lou had to shut down his account, and now they were in a drought.

So they moved along into speculation territory for weeks until Oliver's live. Before then, we received their ire. We were bullies and harassing Lou ext. In the live, he basically grimaced and ignored the Buck Tommy question and smiled and blushed at Buddie. Have to remember with, in the same time frame, we had Ryan basically say so you know Buck and Eddie during an interview non 911 related, but also the old Lou interview started circulating again. The one where he basically says they called me last minute to kiss one of them and that he was basically called in to work out Bucks kinks as a starter relationship.

Clearly, this caused panic in the BT PR room!!

But it was weird because after Oliver's recent life, that's when they turned on him. Because now they had to confront why he had never posted about Tommy, followed Lou and only posted Eddie. I have seen that happen in other fandoms, but it's usually by main characters. Not a random side character. So my point is if Oliver continues as is, BTS starts popping up no Lou, Ryan, and Oliver promo. They are turning on Oliver if he doesn't promote BT. They already did and that was just the first trial by fire.

Since then, though, like any good conspiracy type behavior, it's like they forgot they were mad and never mentioned Oliver's expressions during it. Or the fact he seems to not care about the pairing.

They are back in delusional land. Some delusions include.... It's good Chris will be gone because it provides space for Buck to detach from Eddie, and we get more Tommy. Tommy will be more main character LI and involved with the team. Huge chance Tommy finally comes clean to Buck he was into Eddie before, and Buck being so loving invites Eddie to join them. Eddie secretly pines for Tommy. Tommy taking over father roles for both Eddie and Buck because clearly they need his help. Also sexual fantasies clearly written by straight people.

But mark my words... If it keeps going with no sign of Lou, Tommy, or Oliver acknowledging BT, it will because of us and Oliver. If that happens, I will, of course, message you.

And if people really want to know I am happy to always report back the gossip...

But if that was long winded as hell and you skipped to the bottom.. Yes, they turned on Oliver (behind closed doors) because his live was the first chance since the cameos to get anything. And he said let them eat cake....

Hello, my love 🩷🩷🩷

Wait wait wait wait you're telling me that after the hospital kiss when there were harassing everyone about how bt is now endgame, they were panicking about the way the relationship was portrayed? And that they realize the relationship was not defined on screen? Are you fucking with me? This is........ Okay, but seriously, do they realize how cameo works or do they think Lou was just saying those things because he felt like it? When you pay for those videos, you send him a message that prompts him. He was saying what they paid him to say. I'm...... I'm glad to know they are also unhappy with the way the relationship has been treated, I feel vindicated.

Also the way they also agree Tommy looked more interested in Eddie and are creating their own delusions on top of Eddie pining for Tommy? I don't even want to think about Tommy being a better parent, that one just makes me want to pick a fight. Interesting to know they are having the three-way fantasies in private while completely turning on Eddie out here.

Honestly, the chaos that will happen once filming starts is not something I'm looking forward to, because there won't be the level of content they want and that will 10000000% make them more feral. Especially considering the way Oliver is on our side, and even with bt on the making the promotion of s7 leaned HEAVILY on Oliver and Ryan together. And it worked. So it will probably happen again. And given how small Tommy's role was in the back half of the season, him not being around all that much is the more plausible scenario. And well, publicly turning on Oliver is not gonna get the reaction they think it will, so that's gonna be interesting for sure.

Please come back any time there's an update you feel is worth sharing, I'm loving having the inside view kapakapalapakpas

[chevelleneech]

Still on the finale, because of course I am

And as such, I must say

…what the hell was going on!?

Bobby was in a coma for barely half the episode, after being dead for 14 minutes. Sergeant Athena I’m-not-a-corrupt-cop Grant accosted a man her husband nearly killed, at gun point, threatening to kill him because she decided he set her house on fire. Chim and Maddie became foster parents in the blink of a fucking eye. Buck had no real point this episode other than to be present in scenes that the audience aren’t meant to view as meaningful, despite the repetitive nature in which he is always present for his male bestie with whom he was assumed to be dating. Tommy was just there, as always. They spent too much time with Amir and the Cartel, when quite frankly, that should have been the cliffhanger at the very least. And lastly, Eddie had the most near sensible storyline this episode, with Chris not talking to him then wanting to leave, and him not wanting him to go, yet even that was sullied by it being given a lack of importance.

Eddie and his parents should have been going back and the entire episode about this, because it’s that important. Isolating Chris to his bedroom, was ridiculous. I understand Gavin may not be entirely capable, perhaps, of committing to emotional scenes the way this would have required, but that just means Tim and co should have written it in a way that allowed us to see Chris’s grief as a child who has the same disabilities and potential neurodivergence as Gavin, seeing as he’s playing very close to himself anyway. But I think the episode would have benefited from the audience hearing from Chris as we’ve done in the past with lighter emotional topics.

Outside of that, this was the most pointless and anti-climactic season finale of any show I think I’ve ever watched. Yes, Gerard is back and that’s a big deal for what it will mean for the characters next season, but… was it a surprise? No, because they had him at the ceremony for no reason. I guess anyone who isn’t chronically online would have been shocked, but everyone on here is as overly invested as I am so like, it’s whatever, but damn.

I wish something was unexpected. Although, I guess technically it was the BT date, because no one thought they’d have Buck sit down after all that emotional stress to have a date night type meal, but that was the writers way of making Tommy the man Buck goes home to, even though they refuse to commit to them in a serious way. They ended them with a joke that was funny but contextually inappropriate, and that was that, as is every BT interaction has been the entire season.

Anyway, I really hope season 8 will regain the magic the first few seasons held. Seasons 2-4 especially, and imo, plenty of episodes in 5 and 6. Because I truly do not understand what happened. I know ol girl took over in 5 and 6, but Tim coming back made the show worse. So was it the network execs who actually saved the earlier seasons? For real, who was around to keep things flowing as well as they once were? We need them back. I mean, I completely understand and was in full support of the strikes, and I know Tim chose to change Buck’s storyline at the last minute, but him changing one character should not have dragged down every one else’s too.

Chimney getting sick was the best episode of the season by far, and honestly felt as thought out as the cruise arc. So I’m assuming Tim had it at least partially drafted, and Kenny Choi delivered as he always does. But honestly, they even had Angela coming across as stiff with some of her dialogue, and Mother is truly one of the greatest to ever do it. Someone just seriously missed the mark this year, and after all the hoopla about it being a top rated series and deserving its renewal compared another series… it didn’t prove itself, I’m sorry to say.

If we get 18 episodes back, I really hope Tim and co figure things out and try to realign with what fans enjoy about the series and with what he wants to say. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter about ships, it’s about the story. It’s about making us fear for these characters lives, even though we know they don’t plan to kill anyone off. It’s about giving them calls to respond to, that puts them in harms way the entire time only for them to either prevail or fail. It’s about the guest stars who play the citizens in need, who break our hearts and make us smile just as much as the 118 does.

This show had something so special, because it’s found family genuinely felt like family. Their hurt was our hurt, and their love was our love. Until s7. Now, they seem like damn near every other procedural drama on tv where the cast chemistry is there (for almost everybody), and the acting is solid for what’s being given, but the spark isn’t entirely there. I want the spark back.