#seeing people older or younger than me being queer being themselves gives me hope

[that-ineffable-devil]

I'm processing a lot of emotions tonight and I keep being drawn back to Good Omens--not just because it's the new hyperfixation or because it's so good. That's what I thought it was, at first.

But this year--hell, the last 3 or 4 months especially, I finally started taking steps to accepting and being myself. I'm rapidly approaching middle age and I'm only just now beginning to feel like I'm allowed to be me. I came out to the people in my household, a few select friends, and a few select family members--most of whom were wholly supportive. I started testosterone injections. I stopped trying to be someone I'm not. I stopped hiding who I am and who I love.

What does this have to do with Good Omens? Nothing. But also... Everything.

So much queer representation is in characters vastly younger than me--and that's good! I want queer kids to feel safe and loved and accepted in ways I never did. They deserve better than we had. And it gives me hope for their futures. I bawled like a baby when I watched The Owl House with my son and he was totally unphazed by the queerness. It's just how people are to him.

But when something like Good Omens comes along and not only grabs every opportunity to show average, everyday old(er) queer representation... It just. I've never felt more seen. More accepted. More hope for all our futures. And season 2 just knocked that out of the fucking park. And the nonbinary, genderfluid, and genderqueer rep? My God.

And it's not subtext, it's not it's own separate plotline where they're fighting for acceptance or dealing with hateful bigotry... It's just... Accepted. It's normal. No one questions it. No one even comments on it.

It's people of any age (even millions of years old) being unapologetically themselves and loving who they love openly and fully (with one notable uncommunicative group of two ineffable idiots, but they'll get there).

I just.

I can't express how grateful I am to see older queer rep at this time in my life. It's been a rough year, and I expect it'll get rougher before it gets better. But I've never been happier in my own skin, and it means the absolute world to see my literary and media heroes like Neil Gaiman, David Tennant, and Michael Sheen (and Terry Pratchett and everyone who worked on Good Omens, honestly) making this beautiful, messy, adorable, excruciating, wonderful, heartbreaking, ethereal, down-to-earth tale.

There aren't enough words in all the languages of the world to express how I'm feeling. "Thank you" just feels... Insufficient.

I just hope they know how much it means to people like me, especially after a lifetime of buried subtext and overt queerbaiting and media ridicule and general lack of acceptance, to experience this story with them.

[faintedincoils]

7, 10, 11, 12 & 34 ^_^

7) Are you the "token" queer person in your family? Nope! My sister and niece are both queer, and by their own description both my mom and her mom are on the ace spectrum, though they didn't have the language to label themselves that way. My mom's cousin is gay too.

Putting the rest under a cut because my answers got long. 😅🙈

10) Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans): All of my cute, colorful, silly skirts. All through my childhood and young adulthood I was told by all sorts of folks that I was "bad at being a girl." Which was okay, because a lot of the time I didn't really feel like a girl, although I couldn't say what I did feel like. I had some broomstick skirts that were long and flowy and so much fun to spin in. I loved the sensation of wearing them. I didn't love how people would say it made it even more obvious that I wasn't a good girl, or that I looked or 'felt' weird in them. So I just stopped wearing them for the most part. Then as I got older I tried wearing them to work on occasion, which was just as bad or maybe worse. I kept getting comments on how dressed up or pretty I looked, or how they weren't used to seeing me looking so girly, or questions about if I was trying to find myself a man now, because if so this was definitely going to help. So I stopped again. Then a random patron at work one day gave me a hard time about wearing a pastel purple polo shirt, how it wasn't a good color on me and made me look even bigger than I already am. This is after years of wearing nothing but polo shirts and khakis to work, or jeans and t-shirts on the weekends, being as bland as possible and hoping nobody paid any attention at all to what I was wearing. I got so angry and so offended and so fed up that I was like you know what? I am going to make my off the wall, probably questionable taste and fashion everybody else's problem and I am going to be happy. So I bought myself two maxi skirts in very bold designs: a desert landscape and some flying griffins. Then I decided to finally buy the Maya Kern skirt I'd always wanted, even though a midi skirt seemed too short because it might draw attention to my big calves, which happened a lot when I was younger, and got my legs groped by strangers more than once in my 20's. And every single time that I wear any of those skirts or the other ones I've bought similar to them, I'm so so happy. I can twirl around in my midi skirts and they flare out around me! I can put my hands in my pockets and swish my skirts around and I feel like a fancy dancer or something even though I'm an awful dancer and won't actually dance around at anyone. And everyone compliments what cute patterns they are, or how happy I look wearing them, but nobody really says anything about me being girly. I don't know. That was a lot of words but I still feel like I'm doing a lousy job of describing it. Some days I feel like a girl, but the skirts don't make me feel like more of a girl. Other days, more frequently, I feel like not a girl. I feel nebulous, or like nothing, so far as gender goes. And even though skirts register largely as feminine, and I'm sure they help a lot of people feel more feminine, they actually enhance my neutral gender feelings. Somehow.

11) Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media: Oh wow, there are so many! I'll start by saying that I have a huge soft spot for pretty much anything put out by Wolfe Video in the early to mid-2000s. I probably need to watch a bunch more of their recent stuff honestly. Anyways, Make the Yuletide Gay is a fluffy holiday favorite I watch almost every year. Were the World Mine is the gay movie I would have killed for in high school. Camp is the one I got as soon as I graduated from high school; it and But I'm a Cheerleader came into my life at just the right time and I'm forever grateful for them. On a similar note, Mercedes Lackey and Tanya Huff's books will always hold a place in my heart for being so matter of fact and lovely with their gay characters, which helped me tremendously as a tween and teen. More recently, Cat Sebastian's books have been game changers for me in the romance field. Her queer characters are so varied and have so many lovely little idiosyncrasies, and even the romances that you assume are straight aren't, because her characters are often by or because gender and attraction are a little more complicated than what you're used to.

12) Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most: I'll be honest, I don't really listen to a ton of music. Once podcast became a thing I switched over to them by and large for when I have time to listen to stuff. But Placebo was one of the formative bands in my early life and they were queer. I didn't listen to a ton of Green Day, but American Idiot looped in my CD player nonstop, and boy howdy did the line "maybe I'm the faggot America" resonate with me and get me all pumped up. And t.A.T.u's "200 km/hr in the Wrong Lane" was my entire experience for a year in high school.

34) What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)? It would be so nice if people would stop using so much gendered language and phrases about me or in reference to me. I don't mind she / her pronouns, but being called Miss or ma'am or lady skeeves me out a lot of the time. It doesn't bother me at all coming from some of my friends who aren't cisgender, because there's always an implied asterisk, so to speak, but from randos it's the actual worst even though I know they're probably just trying to be polite and don't think anything of it.

[shadowetienne]

Just sending you All The Questions (tm) from the LGBTQ+ ask game (okay, not all, but a lot). Some of these I know the answers to but just wanted to put it out there anyway. I copy/pasted and it lost the numbers. ;;

Have you ever attended a Pride event or parade? If so, what was your experience like?

What's your favorite LGBTQ+ movie or TV show?

Who's your favorite LGBTQ+ musician or band?

How do you celebrate your queer identity in your everyday life?

What is one thing you wish more people understood about the LGBTQ+ community?

What does the future of the LGBTQ+ movement look like to you?

So many questions! I retrieved the numbers.

3. Have you ever attended a Pride event or parade? If so, what was your experience like?

I have been attending Pride events consistently in some form or other since 2011 (got up to Seattle just in time for it that summer). I've been marching in Pride events pretty consistently since I want to say 2018 but I might be off by a year.

I find being in a parade audience deeply overwhelming, but still a really affirming experience. Marching in a parade, getting to see and hear the difference and connection we are making by showing representation, connecting to all those other people but also being in the bubble of the group I'm marching in, that I love. I also love smaller Pride events, small towns specialized things, the little festivals that spring up around parades.

I've been out to some degree or other, willingly or not, since 1999. The affirmation that my community is here and real that Pride events bring, and being able to access them as an adult is monumental to me. Seeing kids at Pride with their parents or supportive adults is what gives me the most positive hopeful feelings though.

4. What's your favorite LGBTQ+ movie or TV show?

I honestly don't have a good answer for this? I do have a deep love for The Birdcage of older films, but I also rarely rewatch it. But I'm often not a movie and TV shows person. And there's not a ton of right up my alley fairy tale reworkings or the exact right level or hopeful but not too goofy fantasy and scifi that is queer out there for me to be like yes this is for me.

I do love My Beautiful Laundrette, and I think that is going to be my final answer, partially because of my when and how I watched it story.

5. Who's your favorite LGBTQ+ musician or band?

Ooh, hard question! Part of this comes down to are we talking about someone who makes queer art or someone who is themselves openly queer?

Makes Queer Art: Jolin Tsai, OnlyOneOf

Is Also Openly Some Form of Queer: Lady Gaga maybe? I have to dig a little deeper into the stuff I love for this

6. How do you celebrate your queer identity in your everyday life?

I am an openly queer teacher, and my work lanyard has a growing collection of queer pins. All my socks I wear on the regular are queer. I do use clothes and jewelry to show and celebrate my queerness on the regular. I feel like my queerness is something I more live out loud, proudly, and in a way that allows me to find joy more than precisely something I celebrate.

I do celebrate the times where I am able to connect with and mentor younger queer folks and I can see the difference that it has made.

8. What is one thing you wish more people understood about the LGBTQ+ community?

There is such huge variety of people within the queer community and umbrella, and there is no one fit for all of us in terms of needs. The only thing I can state for all of us is that we are deserving of respect as people and to not have to fear the world around us. Queer and LGBTQ+ and so on are umbrellas, and the people under them are facing a lot of the same hatred from society. A world that allows more freedom of expression and love and existence... that will treat us better.

9. What does the future of the LGBTQ+ movement look like to you?

In the future, getting to see more and more younger queer people who do not have to be afraid, who can celebrate themselves and their joy of existence and who they are.

[rainbow--skies]

Rainbow’s Thoughts On Life #2 - Role Model

As I grow older, my high school has opened up more and more of our activities to the middle schoolers in our district, in a way that wasn’t really a thing when I was in middle school. And so I find myself now with some friends a few years younger than me, though when I was their age I didn’t really know anyone the age I am now- I’m an only child and I didn’t have the opportunities they do to meet people a little older than me. I think this change is a good thing. Having friends younger than me has made me remember again how much my life has changed for the better in these few short years and how hard finding out who you are can be. I think having friends older than you at their age gives you a better idea of how your life is going to go and that everything can turn out okay.

Most of all, this has made me see parts of myself in these people that I remember from when I was their age: I see them pushing people away and spending time with people that aren’t good for them and struggling with discovering their queerness and maybe arguing a bit too much even if their hearts are in the right place. I try to be better about these things now. I can’t pretend I have fully outgrown them, but progress is not linear and progress is not instantaneous, however much we wish that it was. I see the good too- the kind of joy and humor and good ideas that you can only have at a certain point in your early teens, even with the pain and the sadness that often comes piled on top of it. I see all the intelligence and the kindness and the way they care for people selflessly and that they are good kids at heart. I am confident that they will do great things someday, even if the circumstances are against them right now.

Through this all, I can’t help thinking I have to be a good role model, someone they can look up to. I know they put trust in me and I don’t want to see them go down the paths I went down. I think we all have this innate desire to stop people from facing the troubles we faced. But I can’t be perfect. I can’t protect anyone from the world and I can’t protect anyone from their peers and I especially can’t protect anyone from themselves. I don’t think being some perfect person who has it all figured out and gives the right advice on everything is feasible.

I hope that despite this I am making a positive impact on these kids’ lives, that years down the line I’m a thought in someone’s mind when they’re happier than they are now, that I helped. I think being the person I needed when I was that age, talking about how much better it gets and how important it is to surround yourself with friends, being an older queer person who’s been through the coming out and the navigating of today’s world that’s so hostile to us, has to be enough. I think just being me has to be enough.

[polyamorouspunk]

Hey there ! Using sleepover Friday just to say you're one in a few people I always like to see on my dash :) I'm quite older than you and you seem more eager than I was at your age, to improve yourself and the world around you. I'm working harder towards that now, but it makes me hopeful to see younger queers actively helping others, you seem to be a very kind soul. Wishing you the best ✨

Honestly, and I made a post about this over on @spooky-systems the other day, it’s okay, I think, to not want to better yourself to some degree. Like you know if you’re happy with yourself the way you are then stick with it. I just don’t know anyone whose 100% happy with themselves. You know like sometimes I get into that “hell yeah I’m mean- I don’t take shit! I stand up for myself!” Attitude which is what “Punk”, as an entity, is. And then sometimes I feel like. I’m mean, I’m a horrible person, self-doubt, etc etc OR I see someone who just exudes kindness and I go I want to be like THAT and I think that’s what Savvy, as an entity, is. I have a hard time making up my mind if I want to come off and tough and callous and no-nonsense doesn’t take your fucking shit and you can shove your exclusionist beliefs up your ass, or if I want to be the person who when they come up to you you just feel calmer and safe and at ease and when they give you a light touch you get butterflies in your stomach and relax into them- and I think that’s the main split between Punk and Savvy, just deciding which version of ourselves we are at any given moment- are we the kind of person who you want to go to because they can hide behind you and feel safe or the kind of person who you want to go to because they make you feel warm and fuzzy like a hug?

There is a lot I still need to work on for myself as well, and I don’t see that process ever ending. I’m a lot better than I was 6 months ago. I’m no longer suicidal, I haven’t had suicidal thoughts in a while. I’m not as angry as I was 6 months ago, I’m not as hurt and raw and crying and desperate. I’m not fully “healed” or “better” or whatever either. I thought about running over a classmate I don’t like with my car 2 days ago and when two classmates I tried befriending but was mostly ignored by in favor of each other started talking to each other over my head again like I didn’t even exist I put my earbuds in and cranked the heaviest song I had up to the loudest volume in hopes of them being like “what’s that [persons] problem tf”.

Honestly I don’t even know how to start trying to improve the world around me with my level of energy. I thought about going out and trying to vote blue but I didn’t because I think both sides are bad, but at the same time I feel guilty because if I had voted at least it’s trying SOMETHING to make things better vs sitting here complaining about how shit things are. I honestly don’t see the system being changed any time soon so sitting here and saying how “we need to overthrow the system” is useless and doesn’t do anything because it’s not going to happen. I think it’s better to try and work within the broken and corrupt system to change it because I just don’t think there’s enough manpower to really overhaul the whole thing unless someone like bombs the White House or something. Which I’m not suggesting either.

I’m not a perfect person, I’m very flawed, and there are many, many people who have come across this blog who could and have pointed that out. I still say scummy shit from time to time tbh and honestly a lot of times my reading comprehension is lacking and people get mad that I’ve reblogged something that I understood COMPLETELY differently. I wouldn’t claim to have made a profound difference in this world but I can claim to have made a profound difference in various people’s lives. I try and be humble about my mistakes if I think that I’ve made one (because sometimes I don’t agree and I still think I’m right) and if I’m haughty about something it’s usually for a joke. I’m in therapy again to learn and relearn how to be a better person. I don’t like the person I was this past year. I hated them. I was afraid of them. I was tired of them. I missed being a better, kinder version of me, and I’m slowly making my way back towards that.

[love-takes-work]

Live on Instagram, Rebecca Sugar and Ben Levin (with help from Ian Jones-Quartey) have given us a two-hour fundraiser to benefit the Trevor Project, in honor of Bi+ Awareness Week.

It was a lovely evening hanging out with them. Please see below for a little breakdown of what songs they played and what was discussed during the stream in terms of bi+ youth resources, Rebecca’s experiences, and the importance of having support for bi+ people.

Please go to The Trevor Project and learn more about what they do and how you can help. Their Resources for Bi+ Youth packet is available on the site! You can also donate through Rebecca’s specific fundraiser.

More below:

Rebecca announces this event is for Bi+ Awareness week for the Trevor Project. Ian Jones-Quartey is giving some help with the fundraiser in the background.

First Rebecca plays "Love Like You" on guitar. It's a lovely stripped down version. They're a little bashful about making a couple glitches on the guitar. It's very sweet and charming, Rebecca, no one minds. :)

Next Ben Levin joins on bass and they play "Fries," a longer version than was in the Adventure Time show.

Then Rebecca talks about the Trevor Project and its suicide hotline that they provide for the LGBTQIA+ youth they support. After some tech glitches, they discuss how great Trevor is and what resources and research they provide on why it's so important to support these communities. Since this is Bi+ Awareness Week, they have put together a resource guide. They encourage us to donate to this organization.

Rebecca discusses Ben Levin's involvement on Steven Universe and Craig of the Creek. They decide to play Jeff Rosenstock's song "Illegal Fireworks and Hiding Bottles in the Sand" as a mashup with the Craig of the Creek ending song.

Then they give an update on the donation amounts and Rebecca gets so excited about the support. They admit to being really nervous after no performances for so long.

Rebecca decides to play a solo song and doesn't announce the title at first but Steven Universe fans all know "Escapism." It's a slightly different version with some great guitar additions in an added interlude, and they even throw in some fun super-high squeaky notes at the end.

They give a shoutout to Jeff Liu for the beautiful guitar part. They tell a story about Adam Muto (who worked on "Escapism" with Joe and was Rebecca's board partner on Adventure Time), and how he asked Rebecca to write a song for the Adventure Time finale. Rebecca goes on to play "Time Adventure."

Then they bring Ben back to do the bass while Rebecca sings "I'm Just Your Problem." Rebecca does a cool guitar solo in the middle while Ben rocks on the bass.

Then they do a nice little instrument switch and bring in the omnichord and set up "True Kinda Love." They shout out Chance the Rapper, aivi and surasshu, and of course Estelle for the help writing this song.

Rebecca gets excited again about the amount of people who have donated and gives us info about the hotline for the Trevor Project, how their hotline is available for phone, chat, and text. They also point out the existence of Trevor Project's available pamphlet, which can help people understand their Bi+ friends and family, as well as helping actually Bi+ people understand how they can expect to be treated, how to understand themselves, and that they aren't defined by their partner.

Rebecca then takes a moment to set up with an acoustic guitar (so they can have their foot on a box since they don't have a strap) and they cut out briefly to get it organized. Then they do indeed come back with their foot on box.

With a shoutout to Kate Micucci (who is watching on Instagram Live), Rebecca says she will play "a Lars and Sadie song" that she's figuring out on guitar, and plays "Be Wherever You Are."

Rebecca goes back to getting excited about the donation amount and they can't believe it's as high as it is with the concert less than half over! They say they'd like to make a tradition of doing a Bi+ Awareness Week fundraiser every year. She didn't have access to information that Trevor is now providing to bi youth when she was growing up in the 2000s, and thinks their resources are so vital. She suggests using their resources yourself or that you slip the resources to people in your life who want to support (or need to know more about how to support) bi youth.

Rebecca says they're about to play a "really really hard" song that they're nevertheless excited to go for. They said maybe we can guess what it is. They shout out Nick DeMayo, who's in the audience, the animation director of Steven Universe who is Greg's namesake and taught them a lot about music. And then they jump into . . . a guitar and bass version of "Other Friends"!

They shout out aivi and surasshu, Jeff Liu, and Sarah Stiles for all their contributions to that song, and how cool it is to play a "campfire version" of the song even though it's different.

Next, she wants to play a solo (but will need Ben again right after!) but takes a moment to thank everyone in attendance for supporting the stream and the Trevor Project. They say "thank you for bearing with me" regarding the performance rockiness. 

They talk about Marceline and how they felt so connected to this character--writing episodes like "What Was Missing" where Marceline would be revealed to have had a relationship with Bubblegum and be known to be a bi character, and Rebecca felt so astonished that the audience understood Marceline was bi and understood she would always be bi, not fluctuating in orientation based on current relationships defining her. Rebecca explored this about herself only after she saw it explored with Marceline, and understood it was so important to have media that helps people understand who a bi person might be. She never related to the "party person" or extrovert stereotype of bi people as they’re usually shown in media, and thought as a nerdy person who was shy, she couldn't be bi if that was true. Cartoons helped her connect with people who understood those things about Marceline and eventually about herself. 

Trevor is so important as an organization to help the next generation understand all of this. Rebecca has felt that knowing herself wasn't possible if she didn't understand her bisexuality or accept it as what it is, and it spread instability throughout the rest of her life. What brought her to finally being able to process and understand this aspect of her identity was cartoons, and she hopes cartoons can bring some others in as well. With that, she brings out the song she was asked to write for Marceline even though she had left the show. Rebecca plays "Everything Stays."

Rebecca then says they were a little conflicted about whether they were going to say all that stuff, about why this issue is personal to them. (It's okay, Rebecca, this is the best!!!) 

She says that song was about her stuffed black rabbit that was her favorite toy that she thought she loved so much, but she forgot it in the garden and it was damaged. That it was so surprising to her that she could have loved this rabbit the way she did and not realize it was missing, and that it could change without her. "Everything Stays" was obviously about that, but she also says the situation with Spinel was inspired by the same toy. She switches to electric guitar to sing and play "Drift Away" with Ben back on board on bass.

They point out that they're rocketing through the set list and Ian suggests maybe they'll have to do some encores. In thinking about what songs to play, they point out that so many songs were written about their mental health journey and coming out to family and friends. A song that was "at the end of that whole arc" for Rebecca was "Change Your Mind." It can go on forever, they point out, but they'll only play it a few times. On we go with a really smooth guitar version of "Change Your Mind." (It's the extended looping version.)

They announce that now with the Instagram contributions and the landing page we've reached the goal of $20,000, and they can't believe it's at the halfway point of the stream and we have already reached it despite that the show's been done for a long time and they "broke a lot of social media rules" by stepping away for so long, but that's been crucial to their mental health and their journey.

After they come back from a break, they discuss some funny artifacts that they finally got to take home that were left in the office--a Steven Universe piñata that they were supposed to smash in celebration of a pickup and they didn't want to because, you know, hitting a representation of their younger brother is kinda wack? Haha. 

They also had a model of Marceline's bass. 

These items were left in the office and just kind of frozen in time because Rebecca's last day (written on the white board, still, when they returned!) was March 13, 2020, just as the pandemic was coming down. Returning to collect stuff was like visiting a room that had been frozen in time!

Rebecca offers a stretch goal to get to $30,000 instead of the original $20,000, and talks a little more about the Trevor Project, discussing how important representation has been, to have bi representation in terms of DIRECT support for LGBTQ+ youth. What they've gotten to do with cartoon representation, having queer characters who can just have fun the way heteronormative kids can and see representatives of themselves is great, but these specific resources are also so important.

Rebecca then plays "Heart of the Country," a Paul McCartney song they're learning that has a hard solo they hope they'll nail. After playing it, they say they flubbed some of it but it was super fun.

Rebecca comes out with an old ukulele--older than the one they wrote the Steven theme song on and auctioned off for National Bailout--that they wrote a bunch of Adventure Time songs and got as a Hanukkah present. (They mention happy 5782 for those of us who celebrate Rosh Hashanah.) Ben is also using his first bass! They recommend musical instruments as gifts for bi people because those are the gifts that keep on giving! They mention working on guitar during the lockdown (which has been therapeutic!) and not having played uke in a while because of that. With that, she dives into "Here Comes a Thought."

They decide to talk about the background of "Mindful Education," how they were coming out at the time they were writing that episode and song. They said coming out was like having the ground spin around. They thought mindful meditation, being so wonderful and helpful, could become an 11-minute episode where Steven leads kids in mindful meditation. With help from Ben (and Matt Burnett), Rebecca realized it would work better if they show characters benefiting from the lessons. They have a little joke about how the episode number was 108 and they prided themselves on knowing the episode numbers. Then they put aside the uke and pick up a big black guitar to play "Found."

After this, she talks more about Trevor Project's hotline, chat, text, and resources. They remind us that bi+ people experience very specific forms of marginalization and this organization can help everyone who wants to understand. She thanks everyone for helping with donations and she can't believe the Instagram fundraiser has gotten to $10,000. She's amazed that "the thermometer is bursting" and promises to draw it later. Ben thinks he could be part of future fundraisers and Rebecca reminisces about times they've played together, like in 2016 at SDCC and a Gallery Nucleus show.

Rebecca goes back to the other guitar to do some audience requests for repeat songs and talks about the song "Fries." The story behind this one, when she was writing it--the first song she wrote for television and the first episode she boarded--since she was introverted and struggled with pitching, she went on the roof of Cartoon Network to practice being louder until she was actually audible. Ian helped.

They decide to do the ending Craig song again and Ben says Jeff Rosenstock's song is really nice and Rebecca talks about getting teary over the Craig ending with people sitting around the dinner table. Rebecca's favorite line is "speaking in a stupid secret language." She feels like she still hasn't moved on from that in her life and likes to surround herself with people who speak that language. After it's over, Rebecca says hi to Jeff Rosenstock in the chat.

They do more shoutouts for the Trevor Project and then discuss encore songs. Rebecca decides to do "Love Like You" again because they were sad they messed up a chord during the first performance. It's another lovely version.

After more great discussion of the Trevor Project's resources and Bi+ Awareness Week, Rebecca says hi to her Brazilian friends and how awesome it was to visit there for a convention, and she loves that Trevor is trying to expand resources to be more global. She knows how important those resources would be to help people worldwide. She thanks people for coming out to see her, and admits to being surprised that her life has come to include actual performances since she always thought she'd just be behind a desk as an animator. She gets very nervous about performing but loves that people support her. They love being able to perform and once got a sweet comment from John DiMaggio (the voice of Jake on Adventure Time) who would hear the early demos that were a struggle to be audible, and he told her that she's come so far that it now sounds like she enjoys performing, enjoys the sound of her own voice now. She feels that coming out and all the support from friends, family, and organizations has made that confidence and comfort with herself possible.

With that, Rebecca plays the Steven Universe theme song on guitar!

And then, they play "Time Adventure" again.

Rebecca talks more about the astounding amount of support for Bi+ Awareness Week, how moving it is and how hard it is to hold it together while talking about what it was like to be an adult who didn't know if they were even allowed to be bisexual and nonbinary, how much of their adult life was in such a quagmire over not knowing fully who they were.

For their next to last song, they play a song written by aivi and surasshu with lyrics by Rebecca: "Being Human" from the ending theme of Steven Universe Future.

Finally, Rebecca says thank you to everyone who's been involved in the songs--the performers, aivi and surasshu, Jeff Ball, the Crew, Ben Levin, Ian Jones-Quartey--and everyone who's helped raise over $11,000 just through the Instagram concert. She plays "Change Your Mind" one more time, adding that the journey is ongoing even though this song was written at a time she considers at the end of an arc of self-discovery for her.

Thank you!

(Yes, I did a donation.)

Links:

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/how-to-support-bisexual-youth/

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

[that-stone-butch]

Hi can I ask for some general advice? I’m femme and single and every day that I don’t have a lovely butch in a leather jacket smooching me is another day wasted. I just want a older butch to call me sweetheart, change my oil, and roll us a joint while I make them dinner while wearing a pretty dress so when I bend over they can see I’m not wearing anything underneath! Is that so much to ask!! Where are they?? How do I flirt with butches when my friend turns into Silly Putty around hot women?

Or, more specially, how would YOU like a femme to approach you/ask you out/express interest? Granted, most of it is online at the beginning, cause there aren’t very many if any queer spaces in my area that are open, and even then they were 97% gay men anyway. I’m very much a bottom and a sub so being the one to break the ice and get the ball rolling is very strange and difficult for me, but I also know that a lot of butches can be shy at first so I gotta Just Do It. Help me Jasper, you’re my only hope….. to get laid.

I'M your only hope? oh NO! i'll do my best! obviously i'm not every butch but i'll do my best to bring my perspective into this. i've never participated in hookups and casual sex, all of my flirting experiences have been geared towards building a relationship. but for the most part, i'd wager the 'showing someone you're interested' credits transfer. on that note, if anyone has input on more casual experiences, i genuinely invite them to add on to this post.

okay so it seems like we should separate the advice into online flirting, and irl flirting. let's start with online.

it's always better to make a good first impression rather than come on too strong, in my experience. start with a compliment, keep it light and respectful. in general, i find that the best compliments are things that someone *chose*. as someone who gets constant online 'compliments' (spoiler alert it's actually catcalling), i'm NEVER flattered when someone opens with talking about my body. 'your jawline is incredible' isn't the ice breaker it sounds like; maybe i'm self-conscious about my jawline! you don't know, you're literally introducing yourself with this. like so many people compare me to men and male actors, and they think i'm going to take it as a compliment? the very POINT of opening with a compliment is that you DON'T know what people do and don't like about themselves. maybe you like tall girls, but just because you do doesn't mean the person you're interested in is proud of the fact they're tall. ESPECIALLY in trans and gnc spaces, you just don't know what relationship strangers are going to have with their own bodies, and opening with that is just going to display a level of entitlement that is a bit of a turn-off, personally. so compliment people on things they chose, like their attire or aesthetic or tastes. it's really flattering to hear someone say 'hey, i also like that thing you *chose* to make part of your whole deal.' from there it might be the case that someone likes and enjoys hearing compliments about things they didn't necessarily choose, but you really should test the waters first.

additionally, compliments like this break the ice because it's also a thing you would say to a friend? it's my experience that good relationships always grow from good friendships. even if your conversations don't end up in a relationship, or casual sex or whatever, you can still end up with a friend which is a great thing (butch/femme friendships are something we don't talk about a whole lot as a community, because we focus a LOT on sex, but they're life-changing like my femme friends make my fucking day). it can be difficult online to make your intentions known; you don't have the subtext, body language, all the things that help you further communicate your intentions in person. that's why, online, it's good to make your intentions known after you've built up a good rapport with someone. strike up conversation, find things in common, and after a little bit it's perfectly respectful and okay to tell someone you're interested in them. however, and i cannot stress this enough, do NOT be vague about your intentions online. at least in my case, it's very easy to misinterpret people over text. (who am i kidding, tumblr is the internet capital of people misinterpreting each other). be plain about your intentions. from there you might talk logistics, trade phone numbers (use encryption! use signal!), agree to focus on building a friendship together, part ways, etc. get to know people, ask them questions about themselves, show them you're engaged and interested.

i want to take a second here, especially for younger people reading this, just because someone is gay and/or you're into them doesn't mean you should be unsafe with your information. play it close to the chest, if you're going to meet up meet up in a neutral location. DON'T meet people from the internet in your home, or theirs. exchanging addresses is something to do well after you know you're in a safe situation. ALWAYS be ready to bail. be safe.

as for in-person, i'm sorry to say but in my experience you ARE likely going to have to make the first move. for a lot of butches (and femmes) being out and about is kind of a gender battleground. the LAST thing i want to do is make someone uncomfortable, especially as a masc woman. a misread signal can be dangerous. additionally, i want to say you should NEVER hit on someone who can't leave the situation. never hit on someone just doing their job (unless they're stating very clear intentions toward you from their position. it's sometimes okay to flirt *back* with people on the clock, but still give them space to back off) because you're putting them in a VERY uncomfortable situation.

in-person flirting for wlw is kind of fraught with some difficulty in that you need to signal that you're gay. for me, as a butch, if someone hits on me and they don't signal very hard that they're gay, i'm left wondering if they even knew i was a woman. i've had straight girls hit on me, it's the weirdest fucking thing. now, i'm not equating femme presentation with looking plausibly straight or whatever femmephobic brainrot is floating around out there, femmes ARE gnc and do so in a unique and beautiful way. but being wlw, especially what feels often like a 'gender outlaw,' you're often plagued with self-doubt. sometimes it's easier to believe you're misreading someone as gay and they were just being friendly (or just being friendly AND are gay, as i said earlier that happens and that's a GOOD thing).

i find, in person, it's a good idea to open with a compliment that specifically recognizes someone's butch presentation. if someone says 'i love your hair, by the way' i'm IMMEDIATELY in blush mode. it feels so good to be recognized when i'm out and about, when so many people just decide i'm a man to validate their own worldview, or think they have to compensate for my presentation, assure me no i'm pretty i look very feminine, to validate me as a woman. meeting someone in-person, that you're interested in, it's validating and refreshing to just be seen and shown that someone's interested in the way i'm putting a lot of effort into presenting.

that said, never push people. if you see someone at a coffee shop, campus diner, bookstore, etc. that you're interested in, as with online it's a good idea to aim to leave a good impression. chances are, you might see that person again. i'd rather have someone see me, flirt a little, and then approach me *again* the next time they see me, then go all-in intense the first time. obviously it's smart to play it by ear but if you feel like you're coming on too strong, it's a good idea to back up a little. but that's just me.

above all, remember to have fun with it! flirting is fun, and if you're trying to tactically align your flirting with someone too hard toward a relationship, it kind of loses a little something? i find it's usually a good idea to approach people with the genuine intention of making a connection, and seeing where that takes the two of you, rather than trying to *get* someone to reciprocate. keep it fun! keep it light!

i hope that helps! i'm sorry i don't have more experience, if anyone has something to add, they're welcome to!

[glamrockmonarch]

The Land That Our Grandchildren Knew (B!Reader x Brian May)

THIS WORK IS PART OF THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE

Requested: NO

Type: SFW, FLUFF ?, ANGST.

Summary: A little glance at life back to normal after Brian and B!Reader get over the cheating scandal.

Warnings: None.

A/N: So this came out of nowhere in my mind. I have struggled with being creative for a while and I just do not know why(?) but here we are! I hope someone out there enjoys reading this one.

*For anyone who does not remember (lol it has been a while): B!Reader (often B!R) is "Brian!Reader", and R!Reader (or R!R) is "Roger!Reader".

“The one thing he did not know was how much I loved him. In a previous life, in a time when things were so much more complicated. When war was splitting us apart and leaving us breathless. Motionless in a world of aggressive turmoil. There was little we could do when everything was amiss. All around us things were blowing up, giving in upon themselves the buildings fell, and the cities died along with their lights and spectacles.

“The love I grew and nurtured for him was the last reminding power of the old Earth, scattered through the cosmos like dust as I searched for him in a ridiculous journey. I did not meet a king in a tiny planet, and I never saw a rose grow on the dry lands of the foreign space countries. We had each other but time made it so that I was here today while he was here yesterday. Today was never ours, today was a promise we believed and ate up and followed with blind eyes until the moment when the sound of truth, deafening and cruel, locked us out of each other’s life. And still, forever, my love for him is true and enduring. Out there, I know he will feel my presence in the air, see me in the clouds, savour me in the smell of rain and grass. He will miss me when the night is cold, and the sound of wind reminds him of my voice… Yes, he will be empty when he hears the silence, the way I will always feel too when I look back at Earth and regret every second spent away from the one who called me Venus.”

The crowd claps and smiles and I see the people in the front look at the books in their hands with expressions of confusion and deep thought. A good reason to write something is to make people wonder, so for B!Reader this one was a success. She had taken so long to finish the manuscript, not that she was being lazy; with the scandal of Brian cheating and the twins taking sides, it was hard to focus on this. This book was not what she intended on writing when she began doing research for it. It started with the Irish War of Independence, she went around Britain meeting historians with much better understanding and knowledge on the topic. It soon turned upside down when the news appeared on every single form of media… Brian’s stunt. She would call it what it was now; he had cheated.

It was hard to get over it. B!Reader took time off with her mother in Scotland, she had taken the kids with her, much to Brian’s displeasure, but he was in no position to complain. When she came back home, she was still defeated by the details. Brian’s lame explanation sounded more like an excuse but even she had to admit that her husband did not have the best track record when it came to women. She was probably the one he had been the most loyal to at that point – even when he had cheated on her once.

So, she tried. They sought professional help. A therapist. First couple’s therapy, and then one-on-one sessions alone. She hated every second of it, which could not have been fun to hear for their therapist. Nothing seemed to be helping, in fact B!Reader talked to a lawyer in secret… but her career was also on the line at that point, and she was desperate for ideas, desperate to reconnect with the only man she ever truly and completely loved. Her manager had the idea, “read some of Brian’s stuff, maybe ask him about his PhD work, maybe he will inspire you and if he doesn’t at least you will have spoken to each other… it’s worth a try”. And so B!R did that, although not in the way her manager had meant. She was stirring her on the direction of reading some of his lyrics not his space dust thesis… Nevertheless, the story began there.

B!R could not understand much, and she wound up spending a lot of time talking about physics and space with her husband. Brian was a patient teacher, she already knew that, but it was now being confirmed to her. He was also happy to be able to go on and on for hours, the topics where his cup of tea, and they had numerous cups of tea too while B!R took notes and began toying with a historical fantasy mix for her next book.

Today she was reading from her favourite chapter in the book. It had been a massive hit; one she could not quite understand. If she was being honest, the book was more like therapy for her than her actual therapy sessions had been. She cried while writing it and poured a lot of emotion into it, which she rarely did. Her writing had always been more …impersonal, presented almost as a sort of biography of fictional characters rather than real moving parts of the imaginary world they were living in.

She had never written such an odd story before, with time skips and a weird space journey concepts implanted in the middle of 1920 Ireland.

“You did great, mum.” A proud Fred wrapped his arm around her middle.

Even though the teen boy was still that, a teenager, he managed to already stand a couple centimetres taller than his own mother.

“Thank you love, did you get anything of that?” She wondered, wrapping her arm around him in the familiar way a mother does.

Arm around his shoulder, soft play of the tender fingers on the dark curls on the back of the head of her “little boy”.

“Nothing at all,” he smiled and shrugged, honesty dripping in shameless glee from his tone. “But that’s the cool part, I don’t think anyone gets it.” The younger of the twins looked at his mother up and down in her bright blue dress. “Except Dad. Was that the point?”

B!Reader looked at her son and inhaled a deep long breath, which she held for a moment. Her brows furrowed and her mouth moved like that of a fish.

“Maybe.” She conceded.

“Hey mum, would you sign my book?” Harry interrupted, bringing along Jazz and a peculiarly uninterested Max.

Harry gave his mother a wide smile and put a copy of her own book in her hands.

“For Harry, please.”

“Dork,” Max rolled his eyes.

He was the only one to admit he had not finished the book yet the previous weekend when Fred mentioned his mother was doing a reading at a local bookstore while they sat by the Taylor’s pool. And he rushed to get through it. Max was not dumb, and he managed to grasp some of the concepts in the complicated plot, although he did not let on to any of his friends.

“Loved the wormhole bits Mrs May.” Max said once Harry had his signed copy reading for Harry with Love. “That dark hole and the speed of dark and light near the end were mind-blowing. I never thought of you as a fantasy writer!”

B!Reader nodded and blushed at the compliments. Max was a lot like Roger in that he did know how to make a girl blush with what appeared to be little effort.

“I am glad you liked it,” she said, a trace of pride in her voice.

“I really wish Darragh and Conor had ended up together,” Jazz voiced from around Harry’s tall lean and awkward teen figure. “They were obviously meant for each other.”

Fred had been in tears when he read the ending of the book. Of course, he would have hoped for his mother’s first queer paring to end together but what that did was echoing life.

“You have to be the eighth person who’s said that to me today.”

R!Reader, Roger and Brian were in a conversation of their own next to the long table B!Reader was about to sit before to meet some fans and sign as many copies of her book as time allowed.

She eyed the silver hair on her husband’s hair, she had been discreet when describing Darragh in her book. A tall, talented, middle-aged, idealist Irish man. A man born in a difficult time. A man who fell in love by mistake, with Conor. A young man described often as immature, who enjoyed a quiet life on board of a spaceship when he got caught up in a black hole and wound up going back hundreds of years and miles into the past. Conor had almost been killed in his attempts of helping his beloved Darragh in fighting what he considered to be hiswar. The battles gave their relationship meaning, although it was never spoken about between them. The adoration was always palpable and present to the last page. Down to the moment when Conor acknowledges that his lover cannot come with him once he finds the way back into his ship, and then it turns into a matter of will. Darragh is revealed to have a similar story, only that… he was left stranded in 1905 with no way back to his ship. “The voice of Venus” was really a metaphor for B!Reader. A complicated one, as her feelings were when she had to love the man who broke her heart. She felt lost the way Conor felt, but she could tell Brian had been lost for a while before the entire ordeal – defeated in the same manner as Darragh. And it was fitting, he was older, he was educated. He should have known better than to play in the physics lab with those dangerous materials. Brian should have known better than to play with that old woman. Conor could have turned his back on Darragh, he knew he was of no help now that he was so invested in the past – now their present. He knew Darragh and himself would never be able to be together if he stayed and they would most likely get killed if they marched on. So B!Reader made them split. She was about to leave Brian when she started writing her book, so it made sense. And when she realised, she did not want to end her marriage, she still wrote it that way because this was the ending she had seen coming for herself before – one she fortunately managed to evade, which still was the ending for many couples.

B!Reader watched the teens as they began discussing the book, Max and Jazz were defending the plot, Fred joined in and the three of them seemed to be getting passionate about proving Harry wrong. The eldest of the group was stubborn about his stance on Conor being right to leave Darragh.

His mother could not help but remember that same stubbornness from the first few weeks after the story broke. Harry had been the one to take it the hardest. When they packed for Scotland, she had to stop him from shattering his project guitar, the yellow guitar he and Brian had been working on for a while. “I don’t want it! I do not want anything from him! He is a liar!” He had yelled, with the side of his face still reddened from a slap he received from Brian. She still could not believe she managed to stay impartial at that moment after the mess that had happened in the kitchen when Harry insulted his father – earning a slap from him.

“It’s alright,” B!Reader placed her arm around the twins’ shoulders. “Conor had to go back anyway. He had a family in the spaceship.”

“What?” Jazz was the first one to open her mouth.

With a laugh, the young writer looked at the confused faces around her. “He could never stay…” She shrugged.

Harry’s expression flashed with a difficult emotion, which both Jazz and his mother noticed.

The short girl flipped her long blonde hair and checked the time on her phone, “no wonder I’m hungry! Who’s coming?” Her blue eyes searched around in an almost innocent manner.

“You got to be joking, we JUST ate.”

Max stepped back from his sister and Fred followed, “sorry, I told dad I’d get lunch with him.”

Blue eyes flipped onto Harry’s figure. B!Reader gave him a squeeze and let go, the sigh he let out being enough of an answer for Jazz to show a large smile, reaching out to grab his hand and pull her to her side. It almost seemed a pass of the baton.

The boy walked taller than Jazz and still, it looked like he was the smaller child. She was sure they had been doing a good job as parents, although that slipdid a number on Harry. The curly haired boy pulled the glass door open and let Jazz go first, only to have her childishly cling on to his arm once they were outside, a smile breaking his serious expression when his young friend told him something – they were too far for B!Reader to make out what Jazz said.

“Where are those two going?” Brian walked up to her.

He had a cardboard cup of coffee in his hand, which he offered to her. With a mumble she took it and had a testing sip – it was too bitter, but it would do. “Nando’s. Probably.” She gave her husband a soft smile.

Brian nodded in silence, a reflective look on his face.

“He needs some time, Bri.” She guessed what he was thinking about.

“It’s been a year,” he said with caution.

“He is getting over it, love.” She took a step closer to Brian and whispered, “he’s picked up the guitar again.” They shared a look before someone called for B!Reader and she left her husband with a peck on the cheek.

[theladykit]

I received an excellent ask from @the-gay-lady-of-ravenclaw-tower and I was happy to answer it, but because I am a Tumblr old I accidentally replied to the first part of the ask instead of the second, and now it’s gone. So I’m going to reproduce it and include my answer below. I hope this can help others, too! Fair warning that I am long-winded and the post is very long as well. If anyone has suggestions about how to make it more readable (I have ADHD and long blocks of text are not my friend, so I get it), send me a message and let me know!

Hi, Ryn! Sorry if this ask is intrusive, feel free to ignore. You're the first non-binary person I've seen on here who's really fully an adult (to me grown up = older than 30-35) and I was wondering if you had any advice you'd like to share with younger queer/non-binary kids. In particular I was wondering how you navigate using gender-neutral pronouns in the workplace and how you build a community/found family with other queer adults. (1/2)

I'm 18, and it's easy to see other queer kids around me in college, but it feels like a bubble. I worry about the world outside of this microcosm and how to navigate queerness in the future. Seeing queer adults like you who have successfully made it through their 20s and survived in the "real world" while building a community is really hopeful for me, especially considering the world was much more hostile in your formative years than mine. Thanks :) (2/2)

Let me first apologize for taking so long on this ask, I wanted to give a considered answer.

I’m honored that you would ask in the first place. I take advice-giving pretty seriously, especially when someone is reaching out to me because they’re hoping to take advantage of any experience I might have from being on the planet longer. I want to introduce a couple of caveats, though, so you can take my advice in the context it deserves. 

As you mentioned, I did grow up in a world that was quite a bit more hostile to queerness. On top of that, I’m sure you know we just didn’t have easy access to queer information, and it was a lot more visible when someone was seeking it. Because of this, I didn’t actually figure out my queerness (though I suspected for decades) until a few years ago. However, I’ve tried to throw myself into the queer community as hard as I’m able, and I was always a queer ally. So I’ve been on the fringes for a really long time, even though it’s only now that I’ve been able to experience it from a place of openness. On the other hand, I do think there’s value in that situation, as well, so, take all of this for what you will.

The other caveat is that I left the traditional workplace prior to my accepting my queerness. I have never had to deal with pronoun issues, and I also come from a place of having the luxury of a decent relationship with my original pronouns. I am non-binary, but I’m ok (for the most part) with people using she/her for me. That said, my background is in accounting, and the firms I worked for, on the whole, probably would not have been thrilled about neutral pronouns, much less neopronouns, especially with anything client-facing. Some of the feelings about this are changing, and some are not. It’s very industry-specific and employer specific, so I feel like the best advice I can give in this situation is to be safe, in whatever way that works for someone. 

I would love to just say have the conversation with your employer in terms of pronouns and presentation and that if they’re not willing to accept even the idea of it, you know that they weren’t probably going to treat you with dignity and respect about being outside of the binary, but because society hasn’t caught up in their understanding and acceptance of anything but cisgender and heteronormative ideals, it is still a privilege too many are excluded from. Why human dignity and respect are treated as privileges, I shall never know, but that’s how it is for so many at this moment in time. So all I can say is try your best to assert yourself in whatever way is safest for you, and to know that there are lots of adults rooting for you and willing to help when and where they can, even if we can’t change everything immediately. It still sucks that we have to couch it this way, but I do think it’s important to remember that at least in some places we can have the conversation. It’s not enough, and it will never be enough until we don’t have to think about it anymore, but change is always going to be too slow for marginalized communities. 

The found family is where I feel most comfortable answering. My peer group, the oldest Millennials, was really the first youth group to benefit from the presence of ubiquitous, reliable internet as a way to find new relationships, whether platonic, romantic, whatever. And I have to say, we found it in the same ways then as a lot of young adults do now: fandom spaces, very primitive means of social media (ah, the heady days of the message board), various websites and communities that we, along with a lot of other age groups, built. I personally met most of my found family through a fandom space, and while none of us really retain ties to that fandom anymore, our love for each other has only grown. The rest of my sort of extended found family, if you will, I met through in-person spaces, like the classes I took in college, things like that. I think one of the most important pieces of that puzzle is not being afraid to reach out through your interests. I also think that’s not so different from when I was around your age. The spaces themselves are a lot different to navigate, and I do not envy you with the sort of omni-present fight against purity culture, which we did not really have to address, but building a community is pretty much the same no matter if it’s online, in-person, formalized like a city, or anything else. It takes work and commitment and a willingness to see it succeed, and it will change and evolve a lot as you go on. Not all found family is permanent, and there’s nothing wrong with that, either. There are people who have passed out of my life, and rightly so, that I was certain at the time would be with me forever. But it’s ok. I grew as a person, and I grew in a different direction than worked for our relationship. I grew in a direction that brought me toward my found family. 

I should also probably point out that my found family is, on the whole, not queer. A few of us are, or have ties to queerness, but there’s a variety of sexualities, genders, etc. I think you’re right to say that queerness can be kind of a bubble, but there are lots of people who want to embrace what may have started out as queer ideals because they recognize it’s how they want to live, even if they themselves are not queer. I think especially people my age and younger are realizing that they want families that are supportive and nurturing, and I am sorry to say it but that’s rooted in queerness in a way that most normative family dynamics are not. We’ve had no choice, we either had each other or no one else. Queerness, on some level, means found family—or at least queerness that doesn’t rely on trying to emulate the cisgender heteropatriarchy for acceptance. So the two ideas are really intertwined and it’s completely understandable why so many queer people gravitate toward families they built themselves. How to do that is as varied as any queer experience, but comfortingly, it’s still the same as any other kind of relationship at its core. Give it time, which is no one’s favorite advice, but that is the best I’ve got. Make sure you’re getting what you need in addition to helping others with what they need. Be kind and loving and supportive, and above all, bring compassion to the table every moment that you can. Empathy is good, too, but compassion and kindness will steer you better, I think, more often than empathy will. 

I know this is an incredibly long answer, and this is as concise as I could make it. These are big questions, and I am not a concise person by nature. :) Good luck, and I’m here to talk if you need, and that extends to any queer young adults that want advice. We have to band together, we all have so many wonderful things to contribute, and I for one am looking forward to seeing what you and your peers add to the discussion over the years.

[nealcassatiel]

Also, I think that there is a growing disconnect with older queer people and queer people who are growing up because we aren't used to seeing our relationships explicitly in text and so understand that subtext relationships are Real Things, while younger queer people are /growing up/ with explicitly textual queer people in their /cartoons/ so it is confusing and weird for them, the whole subtext thing, bc if it was Real, it would just be in Text, otherwise it's not Real/Intended by creators

I’ve never thought of it from that perspective - interesting. Maybe, as you say, it’s because I still see the validity in LGBTQ+ folks definitively saying that subtextual queer relationships on-screen are still valid queer relationship because that is historically how ALL queer relationships on-screen were shown. 

I’d like to think that younger viewers also share this perspective as there are still characters who are subtextually gay (rather than textually) even today (let’s discount spn). There’s also a wealth of television and films pre our current media age which younger viewers watch in which they should recognise queer subtextual relationships. 

The younger demographic group who I worry may not perceive subtextually gay relationships are younger straight&cis audiences. 

No matter one’s age or the progressive media they consume, I think most queer people know how they themselves subtextually represent their queerness in real life. The subtle hints we give - the purposeful wardrobe choices we make - the looks we give - the references we make. I’m not out to the people I spend the majority of my time with - work colleagues & family mostly. So I feel like my own lived experience of queerness is subtextual rather than textual (if my life were a book). I think this is what lots of queer people relate to no matter the age. So I’d hope that younger queer viewers would still recognise the subtextual in media. That being said, I think there is a trend now that there are textual queer relationships for younger audiences to degrade, say the spn audience, for investing in subtextual queer characters in SPN when ‘there are better queer characters out there more. Don’t let yourself be queerbaited.’ Maybe this speaks to young queer audiences not necessarily saying that they don’t see subtextual queerness on-screen or they don’t think it’s valid, but perhaps they don’t see it’s VALUE. 

Maybe older and younger queer viewers alike can agree that subtextual queer relationships are valid readings and are there, but we don’t ascribe the same level of value to them. 

This difference in how much value different demographics place on Dean as a queer character is compounded in our case by the fact that those who have never/no longer watch SPN don’t see the value in anyone still watching it. A lot of the outside-fandom voices therefore seem to hold two views simultaneously:

- There is less value in spn’s subtextual queer characters because we have better textual queer characters now.

and

- There is less value in spn as a television series in general because i’ve moved on to better shows/have never had the time for a sci-fi/fantasy/horror genre show on the c*w.

Sorry for the word splurge - but your question was really interesting and made me think about something i hadn’t put much thought into before! But I think I’ve now found my opinion (for now) on this:

- Straight people find it difficult in general to see queer subtextual relationships. Full stop. This tracks with how they’re blind to obvious queer hints from the people around them irl. 

- Queer people of all ages should be able to recognise and understand the subtextual language of queer coded characters and relationships. 

- However, due to the rise in textual queer narratives, this may have caused some queer people who now veer towards new shows with evident LGBTQ+ rep to not see the value in investing in subtextual queer relationships. 

TBH, the discussion of how much value to place in subtextual queer relationships on screen is another huge thing to think about, with much complexity and nuance. Shouldn’t we just champion textual rep now? Why would we put value in queerness which is hidden on screen? If I hide my queerness surely there’s value in it being shown subtextually on screen too? Subtext doesn’t always stay as subtext and can lead into text - we aren’t just going to have queer stories which from the get go are inherently textual because that’s not how our narratives work irl a lot. - ya know - all those difficult arguments for and against. Another thought for another time!

Thanks for your question! Sorry for the thought splurge! Hope that answer/thought splurge provided you with..... well, not an answer or anything, but other thoughts on the matter?

[violetwolfraven]

Prank War

@asexualbert requested redfinch and I think platonic ralbert too so here goes I guess.

((This takes place pre-canon. I know almost nothing about any of the character’s canon backstories, so I made up things to fill in blanks. I heard a thing saying Finch was Brooklyn in the original movie, so idk...))

Warnings: Q-slur, period-typical homophobia, a little bit of internalized homophobia I guess.

...

“Oh, Albie!”

Great. Albert was not in the mood to talk, currently, but this was just how it was, being Racetrack Higgens’ best friend.

“What is it, Racer?”

“Guess what I did?”

“Hmm... let me think. Did ya ask someone out?”

“Who do you thinks I am? Romeo?”

“Well, you flirts like him, so sure.”

“Funny. Everybody get a load of the comedian over here! He might as well get a new career slingin’ jokes!”

“Ey, I could if I wanted to.”

“Sure. You’s about as funny as Wiesel.”

“Seriously though,” Albert said, “What did you do?”

Usually, if Race joked this much, it was because he was deflecting around something while desperately hoping someone would figure out that he really did want to talk about it.

And, usually, this was Race’s way when he had a crush, or had done something moderately illegal. Not that Albert was judging. Pretty much all the Newsies had done something illegal at least once, even over in Manhattan. Hell, even Crutchie had hit a cop with his crutch, once, when he and Jack got in a tight spot.

Or... there was one more thing this could possibly be. Only... no.

“Please tell me ya didn’t.”

Race shrugged innocently, “I did.”

“It’s only been a few months since the last one!”

“And it’s been all quiet-like around here since! We all needs a good shake-up occasionally!”

Albert groaned. As much as he loved Race as his best friend, he absolutely hated when he started prank wars.

The first time, it was funny. The third time, it was still mildly amusing, but mostly annoying. By the seventh time, it was just plain annoying.

But, the younger Newsies loved it, and most of the older ones enjoyed the opportunity to harass each other without any risk of a soaking. If someone pranked you, you pranked them back, but nobody got hurt. That was how it worked, until the war had been dragging on a couple weeks and everybody got bored with it.

At least until Race decided to start a new war.

In the several years Albert had known him, this was going to be the eighteenth prank war Race had started.

“Well, who’d ya prank this time?”

Race grinned, “Spot Conlon.”

“What?!”

Albert yelled it so loud that pretty much everybody came running, wondering what was going on.

“What’s up, Albert?” Jack asked, “Heard yellin.’”

Albert glared at his best friend, “Racer here has started another prank war. And do ya want to tell the gang who you pranked to start it?”

Race shrugged, “Well, I just put a frog in his pillowcase, so it ain’t nothing serious.”

“Ain’t nothing serious?” Albert demanded, “You put a frog in Spot fuckin’ Conlon’s pillowcase!”

Immediately, everyone started yelling at Race, demanding to know how he could be so stupid, why he would do that, and a few asking how Spot had reacted.

Albert, of course, knew that since Race was friends with just about everybody from every borough, Spot couldn’t hurt him without other boroughs trying to hurt Brooklyn in retaliation. And besides, Race had even managed to get close with the King of Brooklyn, so it wasn’t like there was really any risk, but still.

Pranking Spot fucking Conlon was a stupid-ass move.

“Don’t worry!” Race said confidently, “He hadn’t found it yet when I left but I’s left him a note explainin’ the rules. This’ll be the first inter-borough prank war! It’ll be fun!”

The worst part was how some of the Newsies actually seemed to be agreeing that a prank war including the Brooklyn boys would be fun.

Everyone looked to Jack. It probably wasn’t too late for him to just go over to Brooklyn, apologize, and end the whole thing, but would he do that? It seemed like the smart thing.

Jack shrugged, “Long as nobody gets hurt, like always, should be fine. Might actually be fun.”

Race grinned. A few, Albert included, groaned.

This was going to be a long couple weeks.

...

“So, you don’t seem that thrilled with Racer for startin’ this.”

Albert happened to be in Jacobi’s that day, grabbing some water, when most of the Newsies weren’t. The only other one there was Finch.

To be honest, Albert didn’t actually know Finch that well. He knew he’d showed up a couple years ago and was sarcastic 90% of the time, (not that Albert blamed him for that. He was sarcastic a lot, too.) but he usually hung out with Henry or Sniper and Smalls, and Albert usually stuck with Race, and Romeo and Specs.

The prank war had started last night, and so far, no one, Brooklyn or otherwise, had made another move.

“I’m not,” Albert admitted, “Racer has a habit of bein’ stupid for no reason.”

“I don’t think Spot’ll hurt him.”

“Oh, he won’t.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“This is the second prank war this year and it was only funny the first few times.”

Finch laughed, “You tells it like it is, even about your own best friend, huh?”

“Well, we all know Race talks shit about me, so...”

Finch laughed again, and the twinge in Albert’s chest made him wonder why he was even here.

True, the Newsies were all pretty close. Close enough to at least vaguely know each other’s triggers and what kind of touches everyone was okay with, to count on each other in a fight, to openly know and keep the secret when two boys or two girls started going out... But they still had regular groups or pairs they stuck to. It was inevitable with a friend group that big.

So, why would Finch be straying from his? Was this a prank?

Seeming to sense his thoughts, Finch cleared his throat.

“So... I’s came here today wondering something. If you wanted to be allies.”

Albert was confused, “What?”

“Allies. We prank other people but don’t prank each other.”

“Don’t work like that. Everybody pranks everybody in a prank war.”

“I know,” Finch admitted, “But this time, it’s different, see? This time, we’s up against Brooklyn and Manhattan. And I used to be a Brooklyn boy, so I can tells ya we’s all gonna need friends in a war against them.”

“A prank war,” Albert corrected, “There’s rules for this. Nobody gets hurt.”

“You seriously think all them Brooklyn boys are gonna follow that?”

Albert hadn’t thought of that. He’d been thinking in terms of Spot Conlon, who wouldn’t hurt them because he was so close with Race. But some of his boys definitely would take a chance to soak someone for no reason and call it a prank.

“I know I can’t count on Henry for this,” Finch said, “I’s already asked, and he’s too stupid to see how dangerous this could get. And Sniper and Smalls only ally with each other. I’m askin’ you cause you seem like the smart kind who knows when not to go it alone.”

Aw, what the hell? Albert had never had an ally in a prank war. Maybe this would make it less annoying and more fun.

When Finch spat into his hand and held it out, Albert accepted the spit shake.

...

Unfortunately, Finch was right.

A week into the prank war, and Henry wasn’t hurt bad, when some Brooklyn boys gave him a black eye calling it a prank, but he could have been. Jack had decided not to tell Spot about it, instead giving the Manhattan boys permission to actually hurt people back instead of just the bare minimum defend themselves.

Knowing Spot had ears everywhere, they could only hope that knowing Manhattan was actually allowed to hurt in self defense would deter any Brooklyn boys looking for an easy target.

Of course, this meant that the ones like Jack, Sniper, Finch, Blink, etc, had to teach everyone else to fight at least a little, but it was working out alright so far.

“I don’t see why anyone would wanna soak someone for no reason,” Albert commented, when he and Finch were hanging out in an empty Lodging House. They’d gotten done earlier than anyone else that day.

“It ain’t that simple.”

“How ain’t it?”

Finch shrugged, “All the Brooklyn boys who’s rough is rough for a reason. Some of ‘em had bad folks. Some of ‘em, Spot found in a gang or somethin.’ Some spent time in the Refuge. Some grew up on the streets. All them rough ones grew up so’s they don’t know how to be anything else.”

“Blink’s folks were bad,” Albert pointed out, “Race was in the Refuge for a while. Crutchie grew up on the streets. They all turned out alright.”

“Yeah, cause Jack was there to help ‘em.”

Albert didn’t know how to respond to that.

Finch sighed, “Albert, you don’t get it. Here, everybody’s family. We talk stuff out. In Brooklyn, you got anger problems, Spot just tells ya where to aim it. Ya heal on your own or not at all. That’s just how it works.”

“Is that why you got out?” Albert asked.

He only vaguely remembered Finch coming to the Lodging House. One day, Jack had just introduced him, told the others Finch was one of theirs, now, and given him a bed. Nobody had questioned it, because when Jack didn’t immediately tell someone’s past, it usually meant it wasn’t one that should be asked about.

Finch shrugged, “I got tired of needin’ to be strong all the time. Spot protects who he can, but he’s got a lot more guys than Jack. Most of the time, you gotta protect yourself. Need to make sure the other guys don’t see you as weak. I guess Race noticed I wasn’t cut out for it. Told me I should come over to Manhattan.”

“What made you actually do it?”

Finch hesitated.

“Hey,” Albert said firmly, “Finch, you can tell me anything. Like you said, Manhattan is family.”

The other boy took a deep breath but still didn’t say anything.

“That bad, huh?”

Finch sighed, “I did it because Spot said I had to get out while I could. He said some rough boys got wind about me... about me bein’ queer. He told me to run to Manhattan.”

Albert nodded. He hadn’t expected that, to be honest, but it wasn’t like he could judge.

“Okay. That it?”

Finch seemed relieved, but Albert didn’t really know why. It was common knowledge that several pairs of the Manhattan boys were together, and most of the few girls had paired up with other girls.

“Yeah,” he said finally, “Ya know, Spot can’t be caught supportin’ queers. He’d be dead by the next dawn. Guess the guys who figured out ‘bout me weren’t sure enough to do anything. Still, Spot probably saved my life by tellin’ me they knew. I told my old Brooklyn pals it was cause I had a girl who got sick and died.”

Albert did remember that Finch had come during a cold winter. His Brooklyn friends would have bought it.

“Well, that ain’t gonna happen, here,” he said firmly, “If it was dangerous for queers here, Jack woulda had to kick himself out.”

“Shit, you serious?”

“Course. What did ya think Blink and Mush had goin’ on?”

Finch laughed, “Kinda assumed Jack didn’t know about it.”

“Cowboy is oblivious, but not that oblivious.”

Finch laughed again, and Albert tripped over his next breath.

Aw, hell. Why not?

“And uh...” Albert hesitated, “If Jack was in the business of kickin’ out queers to protect ‘em... he’d have to kick me out, too.”

Finch looked at him in surprise, “Albert—“

They both heard the Lodging House door close loudly, then someone cursed loudly. Definitely not Kloppman.

When he looked at him, Albert didn’t think he’d ever seen Finch so scared.

“I know that voice,” he said quietly, “We needs to hide.”

Albert didn’t question it, just pulling Finch into a broom closet at the end of the bunk bed rows.

Kloppman would be back soon. He’d only gone out on a brief errand. With homefield advantage, Albert and Finch should be able to stay hidden long enough to survive.

“Come on, Snitch, you gots to be quieter than that.”

“Ey, Muddy, I know that fuckin’ queer, Finch, is here. We just gots to find him.”

“What makes you think he’s alone?”

“If he ain’t, we’ll just get rid of whoever protects him, too.”

Their laughter made Albert want to punch something.

Finch was breathing quickly, shaking like a leaf. No one should be able to make him afraid like that.

“Hey,” Albert whispered, “Finch, calm down. It’s okay. They’s not gonna find us. They won’t hurt you.”

“This closet ain’t hidden enough.”

“I remember Muddy and Snitch,” Albert insisted, “They’re dumb as horse shit on the pavement. We just gots to stay quiet and wait for Kloppman to get back.”

It couldn’t be long now, but Finch was clearly too scared to think clearly.

There wasn’t much light in the closet, but Albert grabbed the sides of Finch’s face, digging his fingers into his hair to force the taller boy to look at him.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he murmured, “They won’t find us. Finch, breathe.”

Finch took a deep breath, looking Albert in the eye.

“They won’t hurt you,” he said again.

That was when Finch kissed him, grabbing onto Albert’s wrists to keep him close.

Albert was... surprised, to say the least, but he certainly wasn’t complaining, doing his best to stay silent as he kissed him back.

They pulled apart when they heard Kloppman come in. There was yelling downstairs, and the door slammed. Clearly, the Brooklyn boys weren’t willing to risk tangling with an actual adult, even one that Albert didn’t think could actually fight.

“Hey, anybody here?” he called upstairs, “Anyone wanna explain why I just kicked out two Brooklyn boys?”

“Not that I really wants to, but we should probably get out of the closet,” Albert suggested.

Finch laughed, opening the door.

“It’s probably better ya don’t know, Kloppman!” Albert shouted down the stairs.

“Albert? That you?”

“Finch, too!” Finch shouted.

“Okay! And... be careful, boys! Be discreet!”

Albert stifled a laugh. He’d always suspected that Kloppman knew about the various same-sex pairs, but this was the first real evidence he’d seen.

“So, I takes it this ain’t a prank?” Finch asked.

Albert shook his head quickly, “Not on my end. If it was a prank on yours, you don’t really know what a prank is. I enjoyed that way too much for a prank.”

“Glad we agree.”

“So,” Albert said, sitting down on his bunk.

Finch grinned as he let Albert pull him down next to him, “So.”

“Are we still allies?”

“Hope we’s more than that.”

Albert laughed before leaning forward to kiss Finch again.

[lysandratrevelyan]

So, there's a weird part about growing up queer in a queer family, surrounded by fellow queers of all walks of life. You still get shit on by the world, and it hurts - hurts SO FUCKING MUCH - but there's a disconnect there, as well. After all, my family understands. They truly do understand the pain of changing what parts of you that you share with the world, with your friends at school and at their homes.

I already did this because of our religion, the additional editing barely registered.

I take that back, I was more open about being raised a Witch by other Witches than I was that sometimes I didn't feel like a girl or that girls and boys were roughly equally interesting. I was more open about the fact that we could name every single person who had passed on our religion going back over 500 years than the fact that several of my Aunts and Uncles in the community - both the Queer and the Pagan, and there were several that, like us, lay in the overlap - crossed gender boundaries in one way or another.

I grew up knowing first-hand how the AIDS crisis affected people. My Uncle Clemeth died when I was around 7 years old. I hadn't seen him in months because of the rules for the hospice house, after a lifetime of seeing him a few times a month. I'd barely seen his partner (not husband, because that was still over 20 years away, and not his domestic partner because that was still about 15 years off) in that time, because he'd been at the hospice house every day, every second he could, watching the love of his life waste away. The only person that could spend any time with him was the in-home caregiver who'd been caring for Clemeth before he got too ill, and I am very happy to say that the two of them are still together, still taking care of each other now as legally recognized spouses.

I grew up never worrying that my parents would be disappointed in whatever path I took. I was extremely privileged for that, and only wish I could do the same for my own kids (their father's family has them terrified of their own shadows, and I am slowly working through legal shit trying to get them away from that). I didn't have to worry that my parents would tear up my books or posters, destroy my jewelry or clothes over me choosing a different religious path. That I had been vocal since about 3 years old regarding which Gods called to me actually never factored into any of that. I didn't have to worry that my openly Bi parents, who were also openly polyamorous, would every shame me for my sexual wants or desires; they only made sure that I could talk to them about what I wanted or needed, and would help me safely explore.

I can still laugh at my mom buying me my first vibrator when I was 16, and the years later conversation in my twenties about how sex was weird as I'd recently discovered.

I can also still feel the warmth of her rage when she learned some of the shit that asshole pulled, and the way I felt safe telling her. I hope my siblings could feel the ice of my own when he tried to target them later.

I grew up going to Pride, marching in it, gleefully introducing my first girlfriend to my parents, even though we were only "out" to a handful of friends at school. I still think of her fondly, and hope she's well. I got to grow up around IT workers, social workers, authors, sex workers, tattooists, and people from every other walk of life. I got to dye my hair, cut it however I wanted. I got to choose when I got my first piercing, where it was (my ears, boringly enough, at age 4, though i plan on at least two more once it's safe) and when I wanted to gauge up they got me the jewelry and had me talk to some fellow poly Pagan friends about care and taking it slow.

When, at age 8 I was repeatedly trying to kill myself, my parents sought help. One of them sat me down and talked about her own struggles, and they found me a professional to talk to, and they made an effort to spend more time with me. Just because my problem was bigger than that didn't mean it didn't help, and they checked with me regularly about it; when I was in high school and spiraled heavily, they got me to the doctor, talked to her and let me talk to her privately, and reminded me to take the meds I was prescribed. When that med didn't help, they listened to me after I had to change to an entirely different med class, and shared their happiness that I was doing better.

They had learned after not listening to my younger sister, you see. My parents aren't perfect, and that whole talk I had when I was 8 scarred me heavily. Don't fucking tell your kids that you have it worse, okay? And maybe, just maybe listen when your kid tells you that the prozac makes them too manic and don't insist they can't be bipolar like mom's side of the family only depressed like yours, nearly killing your kid in the process. My sister is much better these days, but that was one of the first big experiences after the amnesia, and is still understandably bitter over it. Our older sibling and I are, too.

As an adult, I still had to deal with people being bigoted pieces of shit, now without the buffer of my parents. I had to deal with abusers who saw my barely acknowledged bisexuality as an easy target. I had to deal with classmates and coworkers mocking a later boyfriend for being gay. He wasn't, is still straight and cis, and unfortunately now a shitty dad, but because he taught ballroom dance that made him gay apparently. I still had to deal with lesbians insisting I just needed to pick a side. I still had to deal with homophobia, and biphobia, on top of defending my religion.

People fucking suck, okay?

As an adult, who grew up queer in a queer family surrounded by a queer community, though, it has brought me great pleasure to watch people try to make bigoted arguments, to convince me that somehow, at some time in some way I understood (understand) why it's a problem to let people be who they are. It's not a moral standpoint. It's not an ethical standpoint. They just really can't comprehend that I don't hate myself on some level, because I was never taught to. My exposure to that kind of bullshit was extremely limited to public school and visiting my grandmothers. Even then, the kids didn't know what they didn't know, and at least one of my grandmothers only cared that she got to see us.

Every place we went, every one of my parents' friends we visited, I was surrounded by people who were queer or part of my religion, and frequently both. I was aware there were bigots in the broader Pagan community, but my parents didn't have the time for that, so it wasn't really in my sphere. I could be me, in public. If I was a boy that day, I was a boy that day, and no one said boo about it.

Even now, years and years later, seeing the uptick in TERF bullshit and purity bullshit and people trying to rewrite the history of my communities (both queer and pagan, and they can all fuck right off), I'm not ashamed. I'm not confused. I am who I always have been. Labels may have changed with time as people find new words that fit them better, but even as safe as my upbringing was, we all still are part of the same community; the world outside still existed, my parents simply took the hits for me.

I guess the reason I'm writing all this, sharing all this when I usually keep my personal stuff offline is that I'm seeing a lot of queer people under every label talking about how they somehow can't do all... ^^this... for their own future kids - whatever form those kids come in. Y'all, my parents are a Boomer and a Gen Xer. I'm still doing what I can for my kids. There's not a cis-het person in my immediate family! You can do this.

Please don't give up hope, or leave that hope to the wider world being more acceptable. That acceptance comes at the cost of lives and loves and so much time. Raise your kids in the community. Adopt kids in the community. Be an Aunt or Uncle or Adjacent Adult Figure of whatever term fits! Let kids know themselves and that you are there for them. I believe in you.

[copperhawks]

Asexual Constant and why he means the World to me: Part 1

Constant didn’t see why that made a difference. How were Sav and Don’s heart troubles any different from Constant’s heart troubles when Daine was missing, or when he saw Sav sad for their dead parents, or when he felt lonely and lost? All those things hurt his heart. They were big too, they mattered too.

There are a few signs early on that Constant is asexual/aromantic/aspec, but in chapters 18 and 19, this becomes pretty explicit.

First, is this piece of internal musing from Constant in chapter 18.

Daine tells him that Sav often gets really mean when he’s “heartsore” and Constant can’t understand why. He says that HE doesn’t get mean while he’s “heartsore” so why would Sav. All Daine offers is that it’s “different.”

And to be honest, even without the asexuality, Constant’s RIGHT. There are obviously differences in how platonic love, familial love, and romantic love express themselves and how they effect people and their relationships. But the INTENSITY of each love can be entirely equal. The love you feel for your mother, your best friend, and your romantic partner can all be the exact same level of intensity.

Sav’s meanness when he’s heartsore over Don isn’t explicitly due to it being of a romantic nature. It’s far more complex than that, relating to how his relationship to Don even came about, what their relationship was outside to it becoming romantic, and what it’s become since both of those relationships ended. It has a lot more to do with what Sav thinks of himself and how his relationships to Don have shaped that. His relationship to Don is COMPLICATED, to say the least, even before the green hair and unsuccessful exile. His meanness over it stems from that complexity, not just because it’s romantic.

Constant’s confusion over is just so intensely relatable to someone who grew up not really getting the whole Thing over romance, at least in real life. I had no problems watching rom coms and reading books with romance in them and got really excited when two characters who were clearly feeling feelings for each other finally were allowed to kiss. But in real life? Was I supposed to be DOING something to acquire those feelings or were they just supposed to come to me? Were the feelings I had when I was around my friends potentially romantic or not? Had I ever felt it and I just didn’t know what it was, so it had passed me by?

Figuring out you’re ace, for me, meant living in a world of constant (ha) confusion for a while and just... having to play act for a while until a few things came across my attention on social media and helped me understand what asexuality even meant and the variations that came within it etc etc.

Asexuality isn’t a thing that’s really ever DISCUSSED and it certainly never made its way into media I had available growing up as a child. I read Tamora Pierce books where everyone had a love interest they got together with at the end and possibly multiple love interests within one series. The one person who didn’t end up with someone still had crushes she could identify as crushes and slept with one of them before she was 18, all experiences I couldn’t really say that I had. So even though Kel has now been WOG’d as aroace, when I first read her series, she still fell into the same molds as the other Pierce characters had. And I mean, I didn’t have the WORDS to even be able to headcanon her as asexual/aromantic back then, so it just seemed progressive for her not to end up with anyone by the end of the novel, but that we were supposed to assume that, within a few years, she probably would, once she found the right person.

At no point does she have thoughts like the ones Constant expresses above, at least, not that I can remember. She doesn’t really question sex or romance, though she arguably has somewhat less of it than Alanna or Daine did during their books.

And it’s CONSTANT that gets me.

Hard.

Because wow do those words hit home for me. He’s not naive, or ignorant, he just... doesn’t get it. Because he doesn’t feel the same way, he can’t feel the DIFFERENCE between the different loves he’s felt for various people in his life. One is not arguably stronger than another unless he just... knows them a little better or has spent more time with them. But he’d probably say that he loves Daine and Sav equally even though, from what we know of Sav and Daine’s early lives, he’s probably spent far more time with Daine than he has with Sav.

And I just... when this chapter was published and I read those words, I think I melted. I felt like crying a little. I feel like crying now as I write this and this is gonna become a whole ass rambling essay about why I love asexual Constant so much.

I’ve seen a few pieces of media as I’ve gotten older that include asexual characters explicitly (the Shadowhunters TV show and the book Belle Revolte are two that immediately come to mind) but it’s by no means a long list and aside from Shadowhunters, none of them are mainstream. I hope that some kid somewhere was watching the episode where Raphael Santiago confesses that he’s asexual and the woman he’s in a relationship with (who is NOT asexual) listens politely and accepts him for who he is and gives him a hug at the end. They break up eventually, but it’s not because of his asexuality. I hope that kid heard Raphael Santiago talk about how he felt and went “oh wow, that’s exactly how I feel, it’s A REAL THING.” I wish I’d been able to BE that kid.

Asexuality is becoming more widely known among the LGBTQ+ community and within online fandoms and it’s not hard to find headcanons that see characters from popular media as ace/aro/aroace/aspec. And it is showing up in some queer YA media (see earlier example of Belle Revolte as well as Samantha Shannon’s Bone Season series). And that’s GREAT, it’s so awesome to see knowledge of this sexuality becoming more commonplace because it means more and more exposure to people who might not otherwise have a way to figure out what their feelings even MEAN.

Constant is not alone, by any means. But I think it almost means MORE to me that he’s an original character than if one of the canon characters had been made into an aspec character (which is a completely valid choice!), partially because... I didn’t expect it. At all. I didn’t expect to click the link for Chapter 18 and see my own mid to late teen years reflected back at me in one short paragraph. I didn’t expect to see it in a 14 year old boy whose main passion in life is hawks.

Constant and I don’t necessarily share a LOT in common: I do not have a passion for hawks (though I think they are wonderful and beautiful animals), both of my parents are very much alive and I know that they love me, I am not a younger child, I was not born to a specific responsibility of leadership I know I’ll one day have to take over.

But in this, we are reflections of each other. In a way I don’t know that I had ever felt reflected by a character before. He makes me cry. A lot.

Dee, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for Constant. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to truly adequately explain what he means to me. But thank you. He means the world to me.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hi, I have a question for you, Queer Yoda (don’t even bother denying it 😉). Do you have any advice on how to deal with homophobes? Or rather someone who does not consider themselves as such, but who have some conservative views that can be harmful and who are not able to see that themselves. Do you think trying to educate them, even without willingness from them, could work or is it better to let it go and move on? I’m not looking for a definitive answer here, just another perspective.

I’ll be Baby Queer Yoda (He is cuter. Pls lemme have this).

In my experience, trying to educate or correct the ignorant opinion of an adult is quite difficult. Their perspectives and attitudes are fixed by this point and therefore explaining something simple as ‘respect people who for they are’ is quite pointless. They should know that by now. Which is why, I work or explain these things to younger people. They are interested in learning and hearing different perspectives. 

It is up to you whether you want to take up this fight or not. Like you said, sometime it is best to keep quiet and move on. But if you want to, you can always challenge them. In my personal life, I try to educate as much I can. But it’s important to understand that it only works, regardless of how clear your point is, if the person is willing to listen. Unfortunately not a lot of people are. So, if they are not willing, then I would recommend that you do not waste your energy on them. Talk to people who care and want to learn.

Having said that, it is also a long game. If that person’s opinion is important to you, then I say keep trying. For example, my mom was incredibly homophobic and thought gay people are criminals and pedophiles. But I didn’t blame her for her opinion because that’s the society and culture she grew up in. Her values were shaped by the things she saw and heard. So, it was important to me that she understood her perspective is wrong and she is misinformed. So, over the last four years, I have been educating - very slowly and carefully - about why she is wrong. And trust me, it is hard - especially when they are older and consider themselves to be more experienced and wiser than you are. 

But after these years, even though my mom is still not entirely okay with gay people, she is not the person used to be. She knows I have gay friends and treats them the same as my straight friends. She knows I am an LGBT activist, she talks to people about the work I do (as opposed to avoiding the subject). A couple of months ago, I told her how homosexuality is criminalised in many countries including our on. Then she told me that ‘people cannot be decriminalised for loving. That is ridiculous’. For me, this is amazing progress. I am proud of her and glad that I didn’t give up because it was too hard.

But I also want you to understand that you can’t change everyone’s mind or attitude towards this. Some people are just not worth your time. It is not good for your mental health to try and ‘fix’ these people.It is not your job to fix them. So, don’t feel guilty for not choosing to speak out. Just because we are burned by the mistakes of our ancestors, it doesn’t mean that we have a duty to fix them. It’s okay not to fight or speak out. It’s okay to fight quietly. It’s okay to fight for yourself.

If you do want to speak out, a small tip would be to challenge them scientifically - because facts cannot lie. For example, when people say ‘gays go to hell’ or ‘homsexuality is a sin’ asking them to prove it. Ask them to show where exactly it is in the bible or relevant religious scripture. It makes them realize that they in fact do not know where it is from. They realize they have been just basing their opinions on hearsay. 

When they say, ‘gay people are mentally challenged’ show them articles that show where homosexuality was proved to be NOT a mental illness more than 30 years ago. Show them articles of transgender people no longer being considered as mentally ill according to WHO. 

When they say ‘gay people can’t have children’ talk about adoption, surrogacy and how having children does not define a marriage or relationship. 

For those who are willing to listen, challenge them with your heart. For those who do not, challenge them with science. I hope this helps <3

D.

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Queer Eye for the Cap Guy - Part 2

A/N: Hello my darling lovelies. So I can’t contain myself so I yet again sit on a throne of lies saying that I’d finish this whole thing before I published. I just can’t wait to share it with you. Right now, my plan is to update once a week on Sunday Nights/Monday Mornings. Fingers crossed I can keep up the pace. For now. i hope you enjoy. And I hope you all have a great week. 

Story Summary: Bobby takes Steve shopping to figure out his taste. Who knew furniture could cause feelings? 

Rating: K+

Warnings: Some angst and Sadness. Mentions of deceased family members, i think that’s it. 

Word Count: 950 

“I know when we talked at the apartment, you said that you didn’t really know what you wanted to see in your home style wise, so I wanted to walk you through your options so I can get a direction for the design.”

“Where do we start?” Steve asked, trying to stifle how overwhelmed he felt.

“Living room furniture.”

“Lead the way.”

“As we’re walking if you see anything that you love or something you hate just let me know.”

“Got it.”

“Don’t worry. We’re going to take it room by room. Nice and easy. I’m not asking for specific decisions, just a vibe.”

The super soldier offered a sheepish smile. He had immediately started scanning the room as they walked, keen eyes taking in each piece and assessing it the same way he would an enemy on a battlefield.

“So let’s talk a little bit about how you want the space to function,” Bobby prompted as they ambled through the aisles, wanting to diffuse the tension clearly growing in Steve. “What would you like to set aside space for?”

“I definitely want a space for my art. And my motorcycle. I love working on it. Especially with Bucky.”

“Okay, good to know. And I know you love the roof.”

“Yes, that’s my safe spot. It’s where I can go to just think. I’ve always liked being outside up high,” he admitted.  “Used to scare the heart out of my Ma when I’d swing back in through the window from the fire escape. Always thought I was a burglar. She nearly clobbered me with a cast iron skillet one night,” he chuckled.

Bobby couldn’t help but study him as his eyes glazed slightly as a hundred year old memory washed over him.

“Of course, she also had my hide because I was apt to catch pneumonia that way.”

“She sounds like one fierce woman.”

“Absolutely,” he agreed fondly, focusing back on the present. “One of the strongest women I’ve ever known. I think I miss her more now than when I lost her. Of course I never expected to outlive her for this long,” he added in a whisper.

Bobby was sure he felt his heart break, and he was at a loss for what to say.

“I just hope that she would be proud of me.”

“I’m sure that she is. You’re a hero in so many ways to so many people.”

“I hope so. Sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he mumbled shaking off the vulnerability.

“Never apologize for expressing your feelings. And thank you for being open with me.”  

“You’re very easy to talk to,” Steve admitted with a half laugh and swiped at the tears that had gathered.

Bobby mimicked the action. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

“Is it normal to cry in a furniture store?”

“It happens more often than you’d think,” Bobby chuckled.

“Back to work now?” It was obviously a plea, so the older (younger) man nodded.

They had finally made it to the living room section, and the interior designer gestured to the seemingly never ending array of couches, armchairs, and coffee tables.

“Let’s talk couches.”

“I was thinking a sectional. One big enough to fit five adults who don’t like to sit on furniture normally.”

“Got it. Okay. So lots of lounging space.”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“So something like this maybe.”

They walked to a large sectional about 15 feet away. It was a U-shape with two extended chaises on either end. It was deep blue in color and soft to the touch. But Steve could also guess from the fabric that it wouldn’t hold the heat like some others which was always a concern. He and Bucky always ran hot.

He pictured it in his loft.

Bucky sprawled out along the middle piece and Sam on one chaise. Natasha would be perched on the back of it, because she hated using furniture in the way it was intended. Of course eventually she’d fall asleep and start to roll. Bucky or Sam (whoever was closer) would yank her down between them without looking and the three of them would rearrange themselves into a complicated tangle of limbs that somehow was comfortable.

Meanwhile you would have started out curled up in the corner, shoulder to shoulder with him while Bucky dropped his head in your lap. But when he resituated himself you would shuffle your way over to Steve’s end, snuggling down in front of him.

The thought made him smile. That was one thing he definitely wanted from retirement.

“It’s perfect.”

“Good.”

They went through a few more options and discussed modern versus classic and what Steve would prefer. Bobby had good idea of how he was going to set up the space.

“Is anything that we haven’t talked about that you desperately want to see?”

“This chair. Or something like it.”

Steve ran his hand along a neat brown leather wing back chair.

“Interesting. Okay. What draws you to it?”

“We had one growing up. It was the one nice piece of furniture in our house. It had been a wedding present for my parents. During the winter, Bucky and I used to curl up in it under this giant blanket my ma knitted when she was pregnant with me. I’d love to have one now.”

“We can do that.”

 Bobby’s Interview:

“Steve clearly hasn’t had a space that feels like it’s his own in decades. I want him to come home to a space that feels personal and not like a barracks. He also needs a space that acknowledges his past and sets him up to take on his future. And we can give that to him.”  

A/N: I hope you enjoyed. Thanks so much for reading. See you next week! 

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