#seeing how they are clearly trying to push their own agenda while trying to fly under the radar and seem like they’re going along-

[angeltannis]

Also seeing Alien again re-reminded me of how Cuff Forspoken reminds me of Ash to a degree. “I won’t lie to you about your chances. But…you have my sympathies.” Whuf 🤪

[queer-flesh-simulacrum]

SPOILERS FOR ARCANE SEASON 2

I think you have some really insightful points and I don't mean any of what I'm saying to create a serious disagreement, but I've been wanting to share these thoughts for a while.

I've always always thought of the arcane and hextech as a metaphor for nuclear power/weapons. The common narrative about nuclear energy has been that it was discovered as a result of scientific curiosity alone and ripped from the hands of optimistic and politically naïve scientists for the purpose of furthering the agendas of world powers. Despite what the writers do with the arcane, I don't see it ever really coming across as an intelligent force with a will of its own that can make judgements on those who try to use it. It's an uncontrollable force of nature and the only hubris at play that might be punished by the narrative is the kind that pushes these characters to pursue "progress" specifically as a vague keyword as you've said.

The progress towards a clearly defined goal, specifically pursued by the Zaunites is given the most attention by the story. Their steps forward and the pushback against those steps (especially since Piltover's reason for thwarting those attempts is handwringing about preserving the safety of their city for "the greater good") are laid out as specific plotlines in every episode rather than as a kind of gradual slide towards an ambiguous destination the way the creation of hextech was. I think due to that attention, even when those steps forward fail, we can see that the reasons for those failures aren't just due to moral judgements about the unworthiness of the dream of an emancipated and empowered Zaun. On the other had, progress for its own sake seems to be framed as a much more slippery slope. The only thing that seems.. idk, kind of irresponsible in a political story to me, is how Heimerdinger, a mentor figure, was only opposed to harnessing the arcane due to what seemed like more of a gut reaction than anything. I think this was opened up for more criticism later though because of the way that Heimerdinger warmed up so quickly to the idea as soon as he saw the superficial societal advancements of hextech in action, but that might be an overly charitable interpretation.

While almost all of Zaun's attempts at independence have been crushed down by dominating powers, I think its so clear that this is due to disparities between the conflicting parties' material resources and the conditions that Piltover's ruling class imposed on Zaun that even if the narrative included themes of either party flying too close to the sun, the implied ethical judgements on Zaun would be outweighed by the simple fact that the rebels were in the right and extremely, unreasonably resilient. What I mean by this is that I think even a viewer with poorly developed political literacy would come to this conclusion just due to the way the main Zaunite characters are framed "underdogs" in more significant ways than the Piltovans or Noxians are (though this is subjective).

One thing that I think Arcane is really good at is avoiding the political story sins of implying that "bad people make bad things happen" or that "one guy made all this happen". It avoids the first by creating characters like Jayce, Mel, and more recently Maddie Nolan who get swept up in whatever the current consensus about what's right or wrong to due in a way that feels really realistic (the scene at the very end of act 1 season 2 with Maddie giving Caitlyn this worshiping wide eyed look and smile while uncritically going along with this extremely fascist coded chest beating thing gave me chills). And of course it avoids the second by intertwining the actions of all these characters so tightly and showing how the systems at play inform the actions and responses individual actors. But anyway, I want to talk the most about this:

In my opinion you really can't ignore that, in League lore anyway, Jayce and Viktor are stand-ins for the major ideologies in conflict during the cold war. The perspective of western democracies, from a very general birds-eye view, about communism, especially during the height of the cold war, has been that a communist society necessarily leads to a state of dehumanized brainwashed people living like cogs in a machine. And I really believe this metaphor is going to become more and more of a main theme in the show, or at least I think that would be cool to see. If it is, then it seems like Arcane might be doing something really interesting with Viktor's arc that fixes some of the shallowness of his motivations in League lore.

The last lines that Viktor gave at the end of act 2 season 2 where he started musing about human nature came as a result of "the failure of the commune". In my experiences talking to people on the right about why in their opinion communism must necessarily fail, they almost always point to human nature. And now this was Viktor's reaction to the failure of the idyllic society that he created. This is the champion that's been, up until the point of Arcane, the evil commie strawman, and his reaction seems like it's going to be the impetus of his quest to rid humanity of emotions for the goal of a perfect world. I think Arcane is really about to imply that the potential evils of communism come as a result of the view that humans are inherently untrustworthy and not the other way around.

Idk, I could be totally off base here and I probably misinterpreted a lot of what you were trying to say, but I just wanted to share my excitement. I'm really glad you shared your thoughts on this show I've come to love so much. It's really cool to see people engaging with it's political themes on the level that you are.

In Viktor and Jayce's first encounter and the subsequent Hextech discovery was motivated by a desire to use science as a tool to put the power back in the people's hands (understanding the people as the proletariat, mostly in Zaun), and there is clearly a class component that stands out in a narrative that, for all of that first season, leaned really hard into both-sides-ism. Part of the appeal of the conflict for me was that it was specifically them that were working on it. We are shown science and a common goal as an equalizer and an excellent tool for "progress" (a vague keyword that we frequently use in the real world as well in relation to science at the service of capital, but that's a post for another day). But it soon becomes apparent that science is ideologically neutral and that their personal backgrounds are at odds, with Jayce being from a piltovan petit bourgeois background (while still existing in a plutocratic industrial metropolis) and Viktor being a disabled zaunite whose presumed working class background is nevertheless light years away from those of other zaunites who are in the same circumstances as him but still living in the Undercity. And of course, the industrial use of the arcane soon becomes tied to the economic interests of said industry, namely weapon manufacturing and international trade (led by the plutocrats governing the city.)

The Arcane as a corrupting power (someone playing god and being punished for taking what isn't rightfully theirs) is a theme that is being hinted at throughout this season. While I do think it makes for a very good background for a tragedy, we love the Greeks, etc., I'm not sure it's a narrative I find all that compelling in the context of a story where the main point of conflict is class war. If taking what is not rightfully yours results in punishment, the underlying thesis is that the Undercity was punished for trying to take something that wasn't rightfully theirs ("welfare state" would be the more clout-friendly term I could use, but I won't: They were trying to seize the means of production that were hinging on the use of exploited labour of Zaunites and all the social and physical consequences that are born from this oppression).

I am hoping that the depiction of imperialist endeavors as something negative (at times cheesy in its obvious visual signifiers) through Caitlyn and Ambessa, as an aristocrat on the police force veering right in a moment of political turbulence and a general in an expansionist empire's army with a material interest in Hextech weaponry, is treated not as a "they also flew too close to the sun" but as people whose economical interests need that there is an oppressed class (be it Zaunites, Ionians, or whomever) whose labor sustains them. But my hopes about this also tie into Jayce and Viktor and their shared plotline.

I think it's a delightful, painful irony that the Zaunite guy who has been working in Piltover for over a decade comes back to Zaun all full of magical wisdom and cures the disabled addicts who inevitably turn to worship him for ending their plight. There is a side of horror to this when you consider Viktor's personal relationship with disability and professional goals in the Hextech investigation, and I'm very worried about the implications of both "the disabled guy gets punished for curing his disability with magic" and "using magic to improve human lives is playing god and one must die to restore the balance of the universe" which right now, one day before act 2 of season 2 airs, seem increasingly possible takes. I hope I'm wrong. Jayce, on the other hand, is facing the consequences of having understood their investigation and invention of Hextech devices as an isolated endeavor when he realizes all the industrial detritus has been an active component of mass death in Zaun. And the soundtrack and his horror at the anomaly put the audience in a spot of thinking that once more the horror lies in trying to control the Arcane, in human hubris and ambition, and not in the class horror of killing poor people by the hundreds in the name of an abstract value of progress that clearly only benefits the proverbial patron.

The Act 2 posters for Viktor and Jayce have been released, I've written extensively about how I think making Viktor's narrative about bodily autonomy and agency is a possibility and also what I think the character deserves, but I am wondering about the design choices for Jayce hinting at the fact that he embodies some of Viktor's pre-cocoon traits. I understand the appeal of Jayce also getting "infected" by the hexcore, sustaining matching injuries to Viktor as he heals him (the leg brace, the bracelet's gem embedded in his forearm, the glove, the glow of hextech in his chest and pauldron). But I dislike the thought that this whole exchange once again exists in the premise that the Arcane is punishing human hubris and demands.

The Arcane is nothing, it has no essential properties, it's not sentient. The Hexcore heals because Viktor spent months teaching it how to heal. The Hexgates transport ships because that's the input they have been given. I would maybe like to consider the environmental aspects of Hex crystal harvesting as more of a "hubristic endeavour" rather than an "angering the gods" story (I miss you, old Skarner). I want to focus on the social structures the discovery has supported, on how Viktor's and Jayce's current predicament is a product of socioeconomic neglect because they believed in the certainty of science as the objective truth, as politically neutral, as inherently good, and now they are trapped, injured, losing themselves and their very mortal and human bodies because they were cogs in a bigger machine convinced of their importance.

This story is at the same spot it began: With Zaun crushed under Piltover's boot for demanding dignity and freedom. Will this anomaly trip change the stakes at all? Can we understand the literal, physical transfer of Hextech-induced sickness onto Jayce through Viktor as a narrative of accepting the demands of the oppressed as one's own to finally work for liberation? To become a class traitor as an act of love?

[messwriting]

Written for the Whorehouse Compilation [RAW DOG 1080p] (Try Not To CUM) Collab:  Masterlist.

Open wide: the Doctor is IN

Shirabu Keijiro x Female Reader 

Doctor Shirabu gives you a very special treatment on your first appointment.

Rating: E for explicit | Don’t read this if under eighteen.

Note: I’m sorry for being this late to the party. The cursed porn search we all have looked at least once (some... lots of times hehehe). THANKS TO @dymphnasprose​ for the little porn search bar i love them so much ;-; <3 My (very) late contribution to the Whorehouse Server CUMpilation. Thanks for letting me participate Miki! Doctor Shirabu is ready to see you now. 

Warnings: POSSIBLE TRIGGERING CONTENT.  CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT.  DOCTOR/PATIENT. MEDICAL PLAY. INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHES. WRONG GYNECOLOGICAL EXAM. Breast exam but not really. Corruption Kink.  MEDICAL KINK. Use of medical equipment in inappropriate ways. ANAL PLAY. Established relationship clarified at the end: role-play. Poorly researched medical stuff. Overuse of Good Girl. 

Word count: ~4.4k 

You’re such a cute little thing.

Sitting on top of the big, pristine examination table, waiting for him while wearing an easy summer dress, square heels dangling from one side to the other as your hands fumble with your own fingers on your lap, eyes flying to him immediately as he enters the close space - big, bright eyes shining in the dull white hospital room, framed by beautiful eyelashes and soft makeup. Your tempting lips are almost deployed of lipstick from as much your teeth have punished the plush flesh.

“Hello.” Shirabu greets you with an easy smile, one that he doesn’t really use despite the little effort it takes.

“Oh, hi Doctor.” There’s an anxious smile on your lips and Shirabu feels a tingle start on his fingertips, climb his arm, spread down his back to burn in his guts. You’re so pretty when you’re nervous.

“How are we today? You can come and sit by the chair first.” Shirabu moves calmly, closing the door behind him; carefully turning the key without bringing attention. He’s still testing the waters but he can gather that you’re a trusting one, waiting to hear from him what exactly you need to do and then do it. 

“Ahhh, um… I’m good, just came for my annual checkup.” You say while taking a seat on the chairs, only risking one look up at his face, then lowering those eyes onto his coat, clearly reading his name. Your expression seems surprised… but pleased. Is it because he’s young or because he’s attractive? Shirabu can’t decide, but there’s a clear smile in his lips as he looks you over, then circles his way to sit behind the table.

“Is this your first time here? If not, when was your last appointment?” 

“Actually,” Your eyes meet his when your head angles up and you scurry them down as if you’re embarrassed. Your lips are once again suffering under your teeth before you free them and speak, “It’s my first. Like, ever.”

“Oh,” Shirabu let’s slip with a breath. There’s too much joy in that little sigh and in his tone when he asks, “Really?”

Your head goes up and down first, fingers fumbling, then you seem to remember that you need to speak with him, “Yes.”

“Do you have a medical file here already? Any complaints I should know?” Shirabu covers the usual bases first, calmly checking his agenda and time, how much he can have with you and how he can extend it.

“Hm… No complaints, except…” You fall silent for a moment and Shirabu can feel the burning in your face all the way through the table. 

“It’s okay.” He’s quick to tranquilize you, “I’m your Doctor, you can tell me anything.”

“I think my birth-control is… uh, how can I say this? Making me… a little numb?” You tell him in a low voice, a hint of worry slipping through as you try to send him a little embarrassed smile as if you’re worried he may feel bad about it. 

Shirabu is quick to smile back, so pleased at how you relax and melt back into yourself at the sight of it. He can’t help but think you’re such a good girl. “You didn’t answer the first question, though.”

 “It’s my first time in the clinic as well. A friend of mine recommended it to me.” You give a precious little giggle as if your nervousness scrambles your train of thought and Shirabu thinks it’s endearing, especially the fact that you’re a pretty little thing who doesn’t know best and you’ve ended right on his lap. 

Well, he plans to make the most of it.

“Hmm, understood. So, Miss… Is it Miss?” Shirabu sends you a charming smile, one he knows it’s good, and your eyes seem to flash with something at the sight of it, your throat bobbing right before your lips split in a little smile.

“Yes,” you giggle his way with a little roll of your eyes, as if it’s obvious and he makes a surprised face along with another dazzling smile. Shirabu has smiled more in the last ten minutes than n his whole week and he’s face will soon protest.

“Really? You’re so pretty, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone had already planted a ring on your finger.” God knows he would, and as fast as he could, too. 

You bite at your lips to avoid a smile planting itself in your face, eyes fleeing from his as your hands fist your dress and you left a little breathy laugh out. As if he’s being ridiculous. 

“Okay Miss, so since it’s your first time doing this check-up, I’ll need you to do a few things for me, okay?”

“Sure, Doctor.” God, that shouldn’t mess him up as it does, the hairs on his arm standing on edge at the delicious sound of it in your voice.

“I’ll need you to go to that bathroom right there, strip all your clothes including underwear and change into the paper gown that’s right on top of a cabinet there. Leave the opening to the front and then come back to sit at that examination table right there. Can you do this for me?”

“Of course, Doctor.” Warmth spreads from his body, rolls thick with his blood around his limbs and starts concentrating south. Jesus, you’ll be his demise like this.

“Good. Now go.”

Once you’re out of sight, Shirabu makes arrangements. And when you come back, clad in nothing but a paper-thin gown that leaves little to the imagination, he buttons his coat as long as it goes. Just to be sure.

His eyes thread carefully over your barely concealed body, enthralled by how your breathing comes in quick puffs of air, goosebumps rising on your skin under the cold temperature of the room. Pressing against the warmth of his palm at the slight touch of his fingers on your shoulder. 

“You can sit at the examination table. We’ll start with a breast exam before you lie down, okay?” Shirabu knows his voice is sweeter than usual; carefully built in a trusty tone, words rolling off his mouth a little deeper, a little low - all just so he can assure he has your attention. 

 “I’ll start with a breast exam and then you can lie down.” He explains his steps one by one, so when he opens the front of the barely existing paper gown, all you do is take a sharp breath and slowly let the air out. So nice. Such a good girl for him.

He carefully brings his fingers to glide over the outskirts of your breasts, pressing on your flesh with steady, slow to warm digits. Shirabu feels as you fidget slowly when he circles the flesh once, slow and deliberate with the pressure he applies. “I’m checking for any unusual lumps around the tissue,” Shirabu tells that so close to your face he can feel the warm wave of air your gasp lets out at his words, and he pretends the little taste does nothing for him despite the way his blood boils in his veins. 

He does the same circular motion a second time, then a third time in reverse, and all but grin in his self-satisfied way when he notices the shy nub stand to attention. Your brows are furrowed even from such little stimulation, throat bobbing as your mouth sucks cold puffs of breaths inside your lungs. 

Shirabu’s digits slide up your collarbone, then press together in a quick motion from all the way up to under your breast, stealing just the slight touch over your erected nipple. 

“Please put your hand over my shoulder,” Shirabu says carefully, detached; and is delighted when you push a little dazed “what” out your swollen lips. 

He can’t help but smirk; poor little lamb is lost to the wolf around her - and his claws are already in. 

“Like this, honey.” His hand takes yours in his, open your palm with his fingers to press it on his shoulder, a wide-angle that gives him better access and provides for a comfortable examination. 

“Hm, okay!” You strangle it out, cute and bashful and Shirabu feels his slacks getting tighter.

“Good,” he breathes close to your face and restarts his movements, digits massaging up and down your chest, right side first as his fingertips get together to start to draw patterns from outside until the center in a repeated motion that ends with just a barely-there, butterfly touch over your nipples as he does a careful glide around the circle.

Your shoulders tremble and curve inwards as your abdomen seizes, hints of your pleasure that Shirabu can pinpoint even without his medical expertise. It makes his heart soars; such a little innocent thing that you can’t even speak up about it, just quietly suffering from the need growing inside you until you’ll burst.

His hand stops under your breast to weigh it, palm covering the extension of flesh as his thumb slides in a fond motion to the sides. 

“Now I’ll do the left,” Shirabu announces and feels as you tense, eyes looking up at him in a lost haze even as you blink and nod. There’s a small storm brewing inside your eyes clouding them over, as if you’re struggling to catch up to his fingers, trying to fully wrap around his motions and still falling victim of your innocence, agreeable and placid, trained and directed to respect authority. 

Dr. Shirabu knows best, you’re probably thinking as you nod once again, hands grabbing at anything they can to hide their trembling. Then he starts his ministrations by rolling your nipple with his thumb, drawing a gasp from you.

 “Oh, sorry,” Shirabu says with fake sorrow before he starts the circling massage around your breasts once again. 

A humming agreement is all you answer him, lips pressed together as if you’re embarrassed by the noise you’ve left. Oh, poor little thing. 

He can’t wait to ruin you.

Shirabu wonders if you can notice how he changes the motions of his fingers this time around, pressing closer to the center and around the halo of your breast as he kneads the delicious mound with his digits. 

Your knees are practically pressed together and you’re struggling to hold your shoulders up in a straight line and Shirabu is absolutely delighted at causing your downfall with such little, fickle things as the point of his fingers.

He waits for the moment where your teeth close sharply over your swollen lips, holding both breath and noise inside, and angles both his hands to press under your breasts, upwards motion that is a good excuse for groping - not that you’d know. Your spine curves as your head turn down in waves of burning hot embarrassment at your own behavior and Shirabu simply has to move before he does something bad.

Well, worst.

 “All done,” he tells you with a small curve on his lips as he steps back. You wait for him to turn before letting a breath out, but even that sounds sharp in the silence of the room. Shirabu hides his hands from your eyes in his pockets, fingers twitching in the absence of your smooth skin under his digits.

“Now we’ll pass to the examination.” The little tremble in your frame is enough to add twisting fire into his veins, temperature rising even when the air conditioning is running low. Shirabu does his best in making his voice sound unaffected and neutral, walking over to the stirrups and adjacent dressing table where he keeps his medical gloves.

“You can lie down and put your legs over the supports.” 

“Yes, Doctor.”

You obey like a good girl, the simple motion already flashing him the precious skin underneath, legs spread wide open and immobilized. Anxious eyes look for his in reassurance, then seem to think better of it as they fall down to watch your open legs. The view making you squirm once again in the padded table. 

So precious.

And trusting.

Your hands are clasped over your belly in an attempt to keep them from fidgeting, eyes eagerly fleeting between Shirabu’s frame and the ceiling. He sends a smile your way as he pulls the chair close to the stirrups and your disconcert is practically charming. 

When Shirabu walks over to sit between your open legs, his cock strains against his slacks, immoral coil twisted hard at the small peak of heavenly skin, of glistening folds swollen by the blood flow.

If only he could lick it.

There’s a tremble to your form that he can’t pinpoint, but the wide-open arch of your legs immobile over the stirrups clear are involved in; that, and the pulsating arousal in your center, if the way you’re throbbing open for him is any indication. 

Shirabu had considered going slow, threading carefully before taking what he wants, but the fortitude of his mind is being challenged by the view alone: You, laying on the table, legs spread and skin glowing. It’s wicked. Shirabu wishes so much to taste, but he’s snapping his gloves on instead. 

 “Are you sexually active?” He makes small talk, chair sounding loud in the silent room as he finally takes his place on it.

“I’m, uh, not for a while.”

“Any unprotected intercourse?”

“Hm... N-no.” Huh. Shirabu doubts he was able to hide the motion in his lips signaling that the little slip in your tone isn’t lost. “Are you certain? We may need to do a test, just to be sure.”

Your eyes fleet to him, shining in the artificial illumination, flustered expression as you down them for your clasped hands after. It’s rather endearing to watch as your anxious behavior spike, the way you’re unable to twist or move, pinned there by physical barrier more than just his eyes.

“It’s possible.” You answer him, meek, and he tries not to smile. “But I’ve been on the pill.”

“Ok, then. You mentioned numbness. Did you mean during intercourse or just in general?”

“Sometimes general, but normally when I’m… touching… myself.”

Oh well. What a nice little improvement. His eyes bore on yours between the valley of your legs, the air surrounding you both turning thicker. 

“Understood. I’m going to be touching you now.”

You nod, and then gasp when his hands actually touch the inside of your open thighs, a light caress to satiate the need to know how soft and plush you feel, and it’s exactly as much as you look. You suck in a breath slowly, and Shirabu lets his fingers slide up to your hot center.

“I’ll start with the pelvic exam. If you feel any pain or discomfort, just say so.” You nod and he starts slowly, two gloved fingers carefully threading over the swollen labia with acute precision, circling motions as he caresses the underside of your most sensitive place and downwards, rounds the dripping wet entrance, and sliding back up, fingers opening in a “v” motion, a small twirl around the engorged nub above it all. “I’m making an exterior exam, any numbness?”

You nod your negative. Eyes barely holding themselves open, teeth sunk on your lips. “Tell me if you either don’t feel anything or feel anything hurting.”

“Okay,” it’s mostly a whine, breath leaving your mouth as soon as you open it. He descends a third finger over your sex, up and down circling motions that rip a groan from your throat.

“Does anything hurt?” Shirabu’s voice is collected, calm, a stark contrast to the throbbing length in his pants. “Numb?”

“I...don’t think so?” You’re trembling, voice breathless as the stirrups squeaking under the strain of your thighs and Shirabu’s other hand comes up, palm planting over your pelvis, feeling the soft skin and then pressing his palm on it.

“Doesn’t seem like you have a problem with sensibility.” He tries to reassure you as his fingers thread to your entrance, indicator slowly tracing the tight circle pulsating in front of his eyes. You’re dripping wet, soaking his gloves and all he can think is what a delicious little patient.

“I’ll be entering you now, okay? There’s no need for the speculum, so I’m performing a touch exam.” 

“Oh-kay, doctor,” comes your little gruff voice, putty under his hands and opening up nicely for his fingers when he presses inside. You’re tight, wonderfully so, clinging to his gloved fingers. Shirabu angles them up and deep, your blistering warmth spreading from his digits to his arm and then his whole body. 

He’ll have to find a way to “test” you there, as well.  He doesn’t retreat his fingers, but he aims the motions of them inside and above, looking for the sensitive place that’s bound to make you-

“Ah!” 

There it is. Shirabu chuckles and rounds the place with his digits as your knees buckle inside then angling out, spreading wide. He retreats his fingers, rolling them with a little scissoring, then plunges deeper inside as an excuse of trying to reach your cervix. If only he could use his cock- that’d be way easier.

“And now?” Shirabu asks, wicked. “Any pain? Numbness?”

“N-uhnn-” You try to speak but choke on a soft moan, your hands flying to your face as you swallow and answer him back in a trembling tone, “No.”

“Anything else?” It’s teasing, clearly, but you don’t seem to notice it, dazed eyes searching for him as you wet your mouth before speaking.

“It feels… weird.”

“Really? ” Shirabu spreads his fingers a bit, rolls them to feel around your walls. “Why’s that?”

“I- I don’t know. It’s… good.”

“Hmmm… That’s interesting.” His gloved thumb descends over your labia, rolls over your clitoris with strict precision, fingers angling inside to meticulously hit that special place once again. The table squeaks under the strength of your buckling, open cunt pulsating around his fingers in plain view for his appreciative eyes. “You seem to be a bit oversensitive, not numb.”

“Is that- a problem?” You say between breaths as Shirabu’s thumb rolls over your clit. He’s astonished you don’t question any of his debatable moves, only looking at him with dazed, soft eyes. 

“Depends. Do you always leak like this? It can be a condition.” Shirabu presses his palm over your pelvic bone, angle his fingers meticulously and swirl your clitoris with his thumb in firm precision. You moan and immediately recoil in embarrassment, mouth agape in your own surprise. Shirabu scissors his fingers in a rotating motion, inside and out for barely a few seconds and your spine arches off the table, mouth falling in a wide “o” as you tremble on his examination table.

Delicious.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?”

“No,” you answer in a breath.

Shirabu palms his length to release the pressure, cock straining at the soft expression of rapture on your eyes. “Everything seems good inside; But maybe you’re sensitive. I’ll keep that in mind for the next exams.”

“Is it… done?”

“Almost.” Shirabu smiles, but it's a be-ready-for-trouble one. “All we need is the ultrasound for the internal exam.”

“I thought you had just-”

“This one was the touch one, the next one is done with the ultrasound equipment. It will be inserted inside and then I’ll be able to take a good look at your uterus health.”

“Oh, okay.”

You seem focused on catching your breath as your stretched hole keeps winking at him, as if begging for more. Unfortunately, Shirabu has to move on. He pulls the equipment table close, moves the screen to the side and at a fairly inaccessible angle for your eyes. The transducer reminds a wand, long, shaped anatomically thin with a slightly larger head, barely two-fingers girth. 

“Have you ever orgasmed before? Sensitive dysfunction can make it harder for women to achieve sexual gratification.”

“I… actually don’t know…”

Shirabu slides a condom on it, drops a generous amount of lube over it and then turns to you with a smile. Your legs twitch and your walls clench and he has a strike of brilliance right there as he eyes the pretty furl of muscle under your pleading pussy.

You yelp as he brings a lubed finger to draw rings over your rear, embarrassed eyes quickly searching for his.

“Doctor?!”

“Oh, sorry. The equipment goes in anally. Didn’t I mention that?”

“No?!” You groan, surprised, a soft breath escaping your lips.

“Sorry. I’m just preparing you, passing something to help it.” Shirabu explains, as a liar, and slowly work you open with his indicator pressing inside - carefully, slowly, with clinical precision until his whole knuckle is inside and your breathing is labored, open pussy throbbing for something he can’t give it to you just yet. How precious. “I’m inserting it now. Please tell me if it hurts.”

Shirabu angles the device on the lubed hole and watches, enthralled, as your ass swallows it’s wider head whole with just the first push, the rest of the body following easily as the tight ring presses the overflowing lube out. Fuck. Shirabu’s cock is weeping uncontrollably inside his slacks and he carefully brings a hand to help with the tightness of his pants, opening it enough to allow his thick length to escape free, but still covered by his lab coat.

Then Shirabu presses the device deeper, the angle sharp. He brings the receptor over your belly, presses way to closer to the apex of your sex. “Does it hurts?”

“No,” you breathe out, dazed.

“Does it feel good?”

“...Yes,” you sigh.

“Hmmm, interesting.” Shirabu retreats it, pretending to angle it somewhere else. He moves the equipment a bit more and your knees tremble as your pussy starts to drip on the floor. Jesus, that’s fucking hot. He leaves the receptor over your skin to fly his hand to his cock, slowly pumping it to relieve the throbbing ache. You’re way too lost in your own pleasure to notice his, and that only makes him more feral.

“You can feel something entering you now, but it’s just another equipment,” Shirabu says as he abandons his aching cock to slide two fingers inside your pleading hole, instead. He’s not even sure you understood his warning. Cute. 

“Doctor,” you breathe, almost panicked and Shirabu rolls his thumb over your clit to hear you yelp, your ass tight around the transductor as he scissors his fingers on your wide-open cunt.

“Yes?” 

“I feel... “ You sound so wrecked and lost, a shiver wandering down Shirabu’s spine as his throat bobs. Your pussy throbs around his fingers, begging for something it can’t even pinpoint. Poor thing.

“Pain?” 

“No? Something… else.” Such a cute breathless voice, chest heaving with rabbit-fast beats that Shirabu almost can feel on his fingers deep inside your soaking walls. 

“Pleasure?” He offers, fighting the need to smile at how your confused expression, brows furrowed as you try to think of another word but come ultimately short.

“I…” You start but bite your lips to hold the noise at how he aims at your special spot. Then blink twice, still losing the fight against the thick pleasure fog in your mind. “I guess?”

“Wow.” You’re so honest. Shirabu’s surprise is fairly genuine. He hopes his tone sounds more understanding than completely hungry. “Well… It’s not unusual for patients to feel arousal by exams considering their invasive nature. It’s okay, don’t panic.”

“But,” You start, tense and writhing, but Shirabu stands up, the equipment in your ass changing angle but his eyes are finding yours in the distance. 

“It’s okay,” Shirabu repeats and you listen, hazed eyes focused entirely on him. “Take a deep breath.” 

You obey so well, mouth opening as you breathe deep, chest filling even when Shirabu slowly edges the equipment out of your tight asshole. The fingers inside your pussy don’t stop, though, and he brings his other hand, now free, to aid him in wrecking you. “Now surrender to it. Let it wash over you…” 

“I…” You whine and tense, but then his two hands are gliding over every erogenous zone on your labia with acute expertise, and you let go, bones essentially melting under his ministrations; letting out a soft, obedient, won over, “Okay.”

“Good girl.” He tells you and rotates his fingers in and out, keeping you nice, wet and wide. You’re close. Shirabu can feel it in how you’re swelling around him. “You’re an amazing patient, Miss. Just do as I say and I’m telling you to cum.” That does it, as your head angles back, hands holding yourself and the table as you take a deep breath.

“Yes, doctor,” You whisper and moan, surrendering to the intense orgasm that pulses suddenly through you and quivers around his fingers. It’s beautiful to watch you come undone, legs trembling sharply as they’re held wide open, pussy fluttering in a wave of wetness that joins the puddle on the ground, mouth open as your tongue slides past it, eyes rolling inside your skull and probably seeing white. 

Shirabu never feels tired of it, finally angling himself to bend over your frame, mouth looking for yours quickly as he breaks character.

“Keijiro,” you sigh, pleasure-drunk and Shirabu licks over your open lips, bites on your jaw, sucks the skin to leave his marks. 

“Yes, love.” He answers against your pulse point and you lets out a satisfied sigh by his ear.

“That was amazing.”

“You think so?” Shirabu rolls his hips against your bare, soaked wet pussy, and his free cock rolls deliciously between the lubricated folds. “I’m just starting, though, Miss. I think you’ll need a more thorough exam, though. With special equipment too.” He brings his hand to angle his cock on your entrance, eyes locked on yours as you blink and smile, blissed out and pleading. Shirabu presses himself inside and you throw your head back in bliss, hands planting on his shoulders with sharp nails aiming for his skin. “Such a good patient I have. Open wide, love.” 

You arch your head back to look up at him, mouth falling open on command, for Shirabu to do as he pleases. You, wide open on his table, for him to do as he pleases. He’s your husband after all and you’ve learned from a long time that what pleases Dr. Shirabu Kenjiro the most is picking you apart piece by piece, white bliss searing your every nerve-end as you fall and shatter for him, drowning under his thumb as he holds you down waves of pleasure, dragging you like the tide - strong and unyielding until it hurts to even breathe. 

The mere thought of having more makes your lips fall open in a moan, “yes, Doctor.” 

Because you love everything about that. 

[wordsfromthesol]

The Set-Up

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @zphilophobiaz @anousiemay @malfoys-demigod @pricetagofficial Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Summary: You are Dinah's younger sister. Word Count: 2,410 A/N: I know it’s been awhile so if anyone wants on/off a taglist just let me know!

"Alright, Roy, you got me here. What's so important?" You called out as you stumbled into what the Outlaws deemed a safehouse. Their standards were pretty low.

"We needed a fourth, okay! Go get Jason and I'll brief everyone." Roy hurried you out of the room that he and Kory were already set up in. You sauntered up to the closed door and knocked.

"Jason, you decent?" You shouted as your fist rapped against the wood.

"Well I'm not morally decent, but I'm wearing pants if that's what you're asking. Though I can be without pants if that's what you prefer --" Jason's voice trailed off as he swung open the door and was met with your face. Clearly, he figured the person on the other side would be Roy or Kory. His face slightly reddened as he reached back and grabbed a shirt.

"I mean…maybe not right now. Roy needs to go over the mission with us." You winked at his obvious embarrassment before trotting off in the direction you came from. Jason quickly caught up with you.

"I…uh…I didn't know Roy asked you for help."

"Yeah he didn't really tell me much. Just that you guys needed a fourth. Not sure why he thinks I'll make that much of a difference.

"Guess we should go find out." Jason raced past you, hoping to avoid further embarrassment, but stopped dead in his tracks as he entered the living room. Roy and Kory were both staring at him, trying to hold back fits of laughter. "What is this all-important mission Y/N was recruited on?" He asked in an attempt to redirect their attention. You walked in behind Jason just in time to get the answer.

"Not really all-important…" Roy's voice reeked of mischief, "just better to have four than three. Then we can do two teams."

"You do know that I have my own agenda. I'm not just sitting around waiting for your call."

"Oh Y/N/N! Don't think of it like that, I practically begged him to ask you. I seriously need some more girl time." Kory piped in to release some of the building tension.

"Uh-huh, sure. Roy, what are we doing?"

"Right. Human trafficking, finally got a hit on this group. Think it's their main smuggling port. There are two docks to check, so two teams. See, I do have a plan. Kinda…"

"Hm mm" you mumbled, still not fully believing him, but you let him continue anyways. You didn't fly out here for nothing.

**

Hours had passed and the four of you sat near the docks, waiting for the cover of nightfall. The smugglers, however, did not. You grabbed Jason's arm and began running towards the dock as soon as you saw a boat pulling into the harbor.

"What are you doing?" Jason mumbled as he ran to keep up with you.

"Are you blind? There's a container ship pulling into the docks. The dock that Roy told us to watch."

"The sun is still setting. There's no way they'd be that stupid." He tried to reason with you, but your pace didn't slow.

"Maybe they just paid the right people. Or killed them." You retorted though the timing was eerily suspicious. Both of you came to a halt when you only saw four guys. Sure, they had guns…but it definitely wasn't enough to warrant extra help. You glanced over at Jason in utter disbelief. "You want me to sit this one out or…"

"Let's just get it over with." Jason was clearly just as agitated as you were. The "battle" lasted only a few seconds and your trip back to the rendezvous spot was completed in utter silence.

"So…Roy. Why the fuck was I needed here?" Holding nothing back, you cried out as soon as you saw his red costume appear in the distance.

"Woah, hold up there. Must've gotten some bad intel. It happens. Better safe than sorry."

"Yeah well next time be sure. I do have my own cases and crime rings to dismantle." You walked off in a huff, determined to find your own way back. You didn't know what exactly Roy was up to, but you knew you wouldn't like it.

**

Months passed since the pointless mission with the Outlaws. You had gotten back to Miami, your home for the time being as you investigated a new drug trade route coming up from South America. Finally, you had made some progress, only said progress led to you being pinned down behind some wooden barrels.

"These aren't going to last long," you mumbled as you dialed Kory on your phone. No answer. "Fuck." Roy was next.

"Y/N, can this wait --" You hear the wind get pushed out of him just as the sentence finished.

"Hm not really. Kinda been pissing off the wrong people and now I'm pinned down."

"Fuck." Roy mumbled as he threw a punch towards the jaw of the unsuspecting thug.

"I tried Kory, but -- shit…" You watched as the barrels splintered around you.

"Off-world. I'm patching in Jas --" Roy stopped a syllable short, you assumed dodging his own bullets. You didn't wait for him to finish.

"Yeah look. I'm in Miami." You heard Jason mumble your name but continued on. You didn't know how much longer you would have. "Pretty sure they'll take me alive. Heard through the grapevine the boss wants the honors himself." You sucked in a sharp breath as you felt a bullet pierce through your shoulder. You took a few steadying breaths before continuing. "I have a tracer in my mask. I'll try to keep it on as long as I can. If you can't track it for some reason, call my sister." You didn't hang up the call before slowly raising your hands above the splintered barrels. "Take me to your leader," you exclaimed in your best alien impression, all while trying not to laugh.

"Do you think this is a game?!" One of the thugs screamed at you as they inched closer. You just shrugged, waiting to either be killed or taken. "Well grab her, idiots!" Two men hesitantly walked towards you, guns still drawn.

"Should I tie myself up? Would that be easier?" At this point, your sarcasm was the only thing keeping you sane. Finally, they got within striking distance and everything went black.

"Y/N? What's happening?!" Jason frantically began calling out your name as he was met with silence. Roy eventually spoke up.

"Jason. I hope you're on your way. I'll meet up with you as soon as I can, but I need to get ahold of Dinah first." Roy had no idea what he was going to say to her.

"Even in the jet, it's going to take 2 hours to get there…" The reality of the situation set it. "But I'm taking off now." Jason tried to push the horrific thoughts from his mind.

**

You woke up tied to a wooden chair. Not surprising.

"So, where's the boss?" You forced the words out, willing yourself into consciousness.

"Don't worry girlie, he's on his way…though I suppose there's nothing wrong with having a little fun first." The goon smirked as he flipped a knife in his hands.

"Well, you wouldn't want to damage the merchandise." You could tell he wasn't sold, so you continued. "I mean I'm dead either way, right? Wouldn't want you to risk your life as well…" He just stared blankly at you while the gears turned in his mind. Finally, he let out an exasperated huff and turned his back to you. At least you were able to buy yourself a little more time. Though you had a feeling it still wouldn't be enough. As your head began spinning, you looked down at your shoulder. The blood was still pouring out of the wound. "Of course…" you mumbled as the dizziness intensified. You were going to have to think of something quickly.

"So, how'd you get stuck with this job? Or are you just some disposable errand boy who got lucky?" You began antagonizing him as you attempted to saw through the ropes with the small blade that discharged out of your gloves.  

"Lucky?" He turned towards you with a villainous look plastered across his face. He sauntered towards you and placed his hands on either side of the chair. "I've been following you. I know your patterns. When you strike. That ambush was calculated and planned. Boss sent me 'cuz he knew I'd get the job done." Before he could push himself up from the chair, you launched forward, ramming your head into his. As he crashed to the floor, another burly man rushed into the room. You managed to free one of your legs just in time. As he stumbled backward you bent down in an attempt to free your other leg. The man lunged at you again. Pulling the other leg free, you circle around and hurled the chair at him. You let out a huge sigh of relief and slid to the floor as he landed atop the first assailant.

**

Jason watched as men patrolled around the building. Just as he was about to move Roy's voice came over the comm, "Have you found her? What's the situation? I'm still an hour out."

"I found her. They have four guards patrolling. Heavily armed. I found an opening."

"Four patrolling…you can't get any intel about who's inside? I think you should wait for me to get there." Roy already knew there was no hope of that.

"We may not have a chance if I wait. I'm going in."

Jason heard his best friend sigh, before eventually relenting. "Keep me updated. I'll be there when I can." Jason saw his opening coming up again. He moved quickly and quietly, sliding into the open door. He took in his surroundings, trying to not alert anyone of his presence unless absolutely necessary. He didn't want to give any of them a reason to shoot you…that is, if you were still alive. As he rounded the corner, he came face to face with a brutish man. Jason launched himself forward, knocking them both to the ground as he muffled the goon's mouth with his hand and encapsulated his neck. It only took a few seconds before the guard was out cold and Jason continued lurching down the hallway. He stopped short of a closed door. Jason took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever awaited him on the other side.

**

You were jolted awake a few moments later and looked around to find the two men still unconscious on the ground. Crawling over, you pulled at one of their jackets and cut off a long piece. It took the last bit of your energy to tie it around your still bleeding shoulder. As your eyes began to flutter closed once again, they shot open at the sound of the door opening. You forced your head upwards and let out a faint chuckle at the familiar Red Hood that looked down at you.

"Solis!" Jason's eyes went wide as he saw the amount of blood in the room. "Shit alright. I need you to stay awake, okay?" You nodded and forced your eyes open as Jason dove down beside you, properly retying the fabric around your shoulder. Jason stared at you for a few moments before pushing himself up and firing a single shot down the hallway. You watched intently as the goons came running in, Jason plowing through them in a matter of minutes. Jason scooped you up, not bothering to try and gather any further information from you.

**

You woke up in a bed in an unfamiliar room. Your brain began piecing together the events. Jason had come to get you, then put you in a car, brought you here, sewed up the wound…you wondered how long you'd been asleep. The door creaked open and you saw both Roy and Jason standing in its frame.

"You're awake! Thank fuck, D would've killed me!" Roy rushed over and embraced you.

"Yeah probably…" You were speaking to Roy, but you couldn't take your eyes off Jason. There was something there, unspoken, that you couldn't remember. What had happened? How long had you been asleep? As if reading your mind, Jason spoke up.

"It's only been 12 hours," he watched your eyes go wide. "Before you freak out, you lost a lot of blood and were barely hanging on to consciousness. 12 hours is not that many. You'll still be weak." Jason began to step towards you but hesitated. Roy immediately noticed the awkwardness his presence brought.

"Imma just…I'll go get us some food…or something." Roy pointed towards the door and rushed out.

"I feel like I'm missing something."

"No…I just. I was worried." You leered at him, knowing that was not what you were missing. You carefully sat up and swung your legs over the bed, determined to get to the bottom of whatever feeling this was. Once you attempted to stand, Jason was at your side in a fraction of a second. "I just said you would be weak…" he mumbled out.

"Well I have to go to the bathroom and you aren't giving me answers anyways." You tried to push him away. It unsurprisingly did not work.

"How long have I known you? For once, just stop being so damn stubborn!" He grabbed your shoulders, in an effort to steady both of you.

"I dunno like 8 years…" you grumbled out, unsure if the question was meant to be answered.

"Yeah well for 7 and a half of those I've loved you. And it just hit me that you could die…hell I could I die, and you wouldn't know." His hands traced down your arms and collapsed at his side. "I guess that just broke me, okay? Are you happy now?!" The anger in his voice rose.

"So how about those pants now?" You smirked, trailing your eyes over his body. Jason's eyes lit up as he began to laugh, recalling the situation from months prior.

"Maybe not right now…let's wait until you can stand on your own."

"JUST KISS HER ALREADY GOD DAMMIT!" Roy screamed from the doorway. Neither of you knew how long he'd been there, but that didn't deter Jason. His lips smashed into yours while his arms enveloped you.

"FUCKING FINALLY!" Roy screamed as he threw his hands up in the air.

[prettiestvulcan]

pairing: enji todoroki x oc

rating: explicit

wc:

summary: a summer getaway gets heated, in more ways than one.

warnings: none

a/n: part of @delirieum's hot milf summer collab!

She’s always had a dislike for summer. The sticky, humid heat. The influx of tourists, which meant more crime. The increase in her number of patrols. Summer meant more work in near unbearable conditions.

There is one plus to summer, though. It means the kids are out of school, so she gets to spend more time with them. Sure, during the day she’s always on patrol, but then she gets to pick them up from her parents’ house and take them to pick out dinner. They don’t have to be in bed for school, so she can introduce them to her favorite childhood movies.

This summer is different, though. Her parents are taking their grandkids on a vacation and she can’t go with them. Work is having their own week-long mandatory ‘vacation’, which involves flying out to an island for team-building exercises disguised as fun. It’s the first time the agency has done something like this, but her guess as to why is as good as anyone else’s.

“Mommy, do you have to go?” Her youngest asks. She kneels before him, giving him a soft smile.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, but mommy has to go because of work.” He pouts, crossing his arms with a frown.

“I don’t want you to go.” Isaac looks close to tears. “I don’t want to go with Nanny and Pappy. I want to go with Mommy.”

“Isaac,” she brushes tears from his cheeks with a thumb. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Mommy will be back. And I’ll call every night before bedtime.”

“Promise?” He sniffles. She nods, holding out her pinky. He grins, wrapping his much smaller pinky around hers.

“I pinky-promise,” she answers. His tears have started to dry up.

“Okay,” he finally relents. “I’ll go with Nanny and Pappy.”

“That’s my boy,” she ruffles his hair, the curls catching occasionally. He doesn’t seem to notice.

He runs off towards the front door, giggling the whole way. She stands, watching him go with a smile. He’s always been a cheerful kid, willing to do as she asks. She’s grateful for it. However, her eldest isn’t as agreeable. Perhaps being close to ten, she’s just going through a face. She was a fussy baby, though, so something tells her she just takes too much after her father.

“Why do I have to go?” Hazel starts. “I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”

“Hazel,” she reproaches. “I don’t have time to find you a babysitter. Nanny and Pappy already agreed to take you somewhere fun.”

“Ugh,” she groans. “Whatever, mom.” Hazel storms off without another word. She frowns, watching her go. If only there was some way she could make both of them happy. She hadn’t lied, though; the trip for work was very sudden and she didn’t have time to look for a babysitter. It was only through luck that her parents had agreed to take them on vacation with them this year. Perhaps because they were both old enough not to need as much supervision and constant care.

With a sigh, she grabs her suitcase once more and climbs into the taxi. She really wishes she could have given Hazel a goodbye hug, but she knows her daughter well enough to know that wouldn’t have gone down easily. There would have been a lot of yelling and pushing, possibly some kicking. She really hopes Hazel doesn’t regret not saying goodbye.

The taxi drops her off outside the entrance of the airport. She takes her suitcase from the trunk before heading inside. The layout is huge, but everything is clearly marked and mapped. She has no issues finding the check-in for the airline. Finding the gate is even easier, since each gate is in a specific order. She sits down to wait for their boarding time, taking her phone out to make sure there are no calls or texts from her parents. Thankfully, there are none so everything must be alright.

She decides to look around the area from her seat, spotting several familiar faces in the seats around her. They all seem absorbed in their own activities, so she leaves them be. She was never really familiar with any of the other sidekicks, anyway. Being a single parent meant she didn’t have much time for get-togethers, so she was always turning down invites after patrols. They’re always friendly towards her, however, so she thinks they’re all on good terms. They probably understand her hesitance to leave her kids at home with the babysitter longer than needed.

After a while, it’s time to board the plane. It’s her first time flying since before Isaac was born, but she still remembers the drill. Show your boarding pass, get it scanned, find your seat. It’s very straightforward. Everything about the trip so far has been, which is something she’s grateful for. She’s not a huge fan of surprises. Never has been. Although she supposes Isaac and Hazel are two surprises she absolutely couldn’t live without.

Soon, the pre-flight announcements are beginning. She’s surprised to see no one in the seat beside her. It’s nearly a full plane, though she’s not going to complain. It just means she has more room to stretch out. She listens to the pre-flight announcements, turning off her phone as instructed. She takes her in-flight bag off the floor, putting it in the empty seat beside her. She couldn’t quite reach the overhead bin and had been too embarrassed to ask for help.

The plane takes off, bringing with it a slew of emotions. She’s excited to be going somewhere, even if it’s for work, but she’s going to miss her kids. Not being able to see them for an entire week? It’s an entirely new experience for her. She’s been home with them basically since they were each born. She’s been there to kiss ouchies better, to read them stories before bed, tuck them in with a kiss on their foreheads. She’s been there to wipe their tears, to make them smile and laugh. Being away from them will be a new experience for all of them, but at least they won’t be completely alone. She trusts her parents to take care of them, just like they cared for her as a child.

She takes comfort in that thought, relaxing back against the seat. She hadn’t realized how tense she’d been the whole time, but once she relaxes the soreness of her muscles makes itself known. She rubs at her thigh, trying to soothe some of the pain. It works, to some degree. She’ll just have to remind herself to relax and take something for the pain once the plane lands.

She rests her head against the headrest, closing her eyes. Nothing wrong with a nap on the flight. Just as long as the turbulence of landing wakes her, she’ll be fine. She feels herself slipping into unconsciousness….

The island is beyond anything she could have imagined. It’s lush and tropical, palm trees dotted everywhere. The air smells like salt from the sea, but somehow still refreshing compared to city air. Even the hotel is magnificent. There’s an indoor spa! She’s never stayed anywhere with its own spa.

They arrive late the first day, so they’re told to find their rooms and get settled in. They’ll receive instructions the next day, according to Burnin who is giving the orders. She wonders if Endeavor will show or if this whole event is being organized by Burnin. She’s certainly capable of doing it.

She spends the first night unpacking and familiarizing herself with the hotel. There’s so many extra amenities and she hopes she has time to try out some of them. She takes photos of the view from her hotel window, sending it to her parents so they can show Isaac and Hazel. When she’s finished exploring, she retires to her room and makes the promised call.

Everyone is doing great, of course. They also made it to their hotel, which Isaac excitedly informs her has an indoor pool. Hazel is much less talkative, but seems to be in high spirits even if she doesn’t outright say it. She’s glad they’re enjoying their trip so far and hopes they keep up the momentum. When they finish swapping stories, she wishes them goodnight and tells them she’ll talk more tomorrow.

The next day, they all have breakfast in the hotel’s café before convening outside. It’s more upscale dining than what she’d have expected. Once outside, Burnin gathers everyone close before speaking.

“Hello, everyone!” Her voice easily carries across the crowd. “I hope you’re ready for a fun week!”

There are cheers from the other sidekicks.

“Well, have I got a surprise for all of you.” She’s close enough to see Burnin grin. “There’s no agenda for this week, aside from getting out there and having fun together!”

No agenda? She’s a little surprised by that. She thought this was a mandatory team-building trip, not just a vacation. She feels conflicted. On one hand, she’s glad for the opportunity. On the other, she had fully expected the week to be planned out for her so now she’s at a loss.

What does one even do on vacation? It’s been eighteen years since she’s done anything by herself. Sure, she’s taken weekend trips with Hazel and Isaac but never alone. And never somewhere so opulent or tropical. She doesn’t know what to do with herself now.

“Now get out there and have fun!” She snaps back to reality at the sound of everyone’s cheers, before shuffling back inside the hotel. Whatever she wants to do, huh?

She changes into something more comfortable, having expected there to be training. Thankfully, she had thought ahead and packed extra clothes on the off-chance there was any free time. It looks like her foresight had come in handy, as she takes out her bathing suit and coverup. Nothing like a trip to the beach.

She’s surprised that there’s no rigorous training. Endeavor is known for running a tight ship, so this whole trip seems out of character. Then again, ever since his last major fight, something had changed. He’s still just as strict, but he seems almost approachable now. A little more lenient. She’s certainly not as terrified of being called to his office anymore.

She wonders if he’s come on this trip, as well, or if he’s staying back at the office. He could use the trip, she feels. He’s always working so hard. Besides, she swears she saw his youngest in the crowd. If his son is here, surely he would’ve come as well.

Someone clears their throat behind her and she startles, realizing she’s just been staring at the open elevator doors. She shakes her head, murmuring an apology, and enters the elevator. The figure behind her enters, as well, and as she turns her eyes go wide.

“Endeavor, sir,” she hurries to greets, giving a polite bow. “Thank you for this opportunity.”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks at her with a grimace. She wonders if she’s said something wrong before he grumbles something under his breath, inclining his head in acknowledgment. He doesn’t say anything else, but she’s shocked to see him. She wants to comment on it, but the elevator arrives at the ground floor before she can figure it out.

“Ah, Endeavor, sir,” she calls out without thinking.

“Please call me Enji.” She can’t help the eyebrow that raises. “We’re on vacation. I’m not your boss right now.”

“Of course, Enji, sir.” He doesn’t look pleased with the added ‘sir’ so she tries again. “Alright. Enji.” It feels awkward coming out of her mouth. He’s been her boss for the better part of a decade and never once called him by name.

He seems pleased by the amendment on her part, though it’s hard to tell with him. She shifts her weight from foot to foot, trying to figure out why she even called out to him. He waits, turquoise eyes trained on her.

“Would you like to come to the beach with me?” She almost smacks herself with how bold she’s being. Sure, he’s been nice to her over the past few months, but that doesn’t mean he wants to be friendly.

He looks just as surprised by the offer, one eyebrow raised. She purses her lips to keep from saying anything more, waiting on an answer. Her heart pounds in her chest. Finally, he speaks.

“You’re going to the beach?” She nods. “I’ll accompany you. I was headed there regardless.”

She takes in his appearance for the first time, noting the swim shorts. He’s wearing a white t-shirt, a towel slung over his shoulders. She nods to show she understands, eyes moving back up his hulking frame, to find his eyes also looking over her.

Had she just been caught checking out her boss?

Had she just caught her boss checking her out?

The thought brings warmth to her cheeks. She ducks her head down, though she’s sure he’s already seen her blush. She decides to take the lead, brushing past him towards the door. She can feel him follow, after a few tense seconds.

She feels a little silly. She’s too old to be checking out other men, let alone her boss. It doesn’t matter if he’s older; he has his own family. She knows he has at least three kids, though she’s never heard about their mother. He has to be married, though. There’s no way a man like him hasn’t been snatched up.

She tries to push those thoughts aside, instead focusing on walking down to the beach. It’s not far from the hotel; might as well consider it the backyard. The closer they get, the more of the ocean she can smell. She’s not sure it’s an entirely pleasant scent.

There isn’t much in the way of conversation. For her, it’s just too awkward to start one and he’s not exactly known for being chatty. She’s sure he doesn’t find it awkward at all, the silence. But she does.

As she scrambles to come up with something to say, they finally arrive at the beach. There’s a few others on the beach, rainbow color of towels spread along the sand. She tries to find a spot some distance from the main crowd, not wanting to interrupt or intrude.

She expects him to part once they reach the beach, but he keeps pace with her easily. She did invite him to come with, but she hadn’t actually expected him to follow through. Sure, they talk at work about work. But conversations about patrols are entirely different from conversations about life and the weather.

They lay their towels out, red and blue side by side. It’s a little closer than she’d been expecting, but still a respectable distance apart. She hesitates a brief moment before pulling her coverup off, folding it and setting it aside. She has nothing to be embarrassed about.

Hero work has been good to her. Even after two kids, her physique is still desirable. She’s not exactly slim, but she’s muscular enough to hide the chub from two kids. She has very few major scars, the most notable being the faded white scar on her right leg from a piece of metal out of a falling building. She’s lucky it didn’t take her entire leg.

“I’m going to swim,” she announces to her company. He inclines his head, again not saying anything. She leaves him where he’s reclining on his towel, heading down to the water.

She feels more comfortable in the water. It’s cool and refreshing, compared to the sticky heat on the beach. She takes her time in the water, swimming around and floating. She even rides a few waves to the shore before swimming back out. When she’s had enough, she returns to her towel.

Endeavor—Enji, she corrects herself. He’s still laid out on his towel, but his eyes open when he hears her approach. She flops down onto her towel, feeling energized after her swim. She turns her head to face Enji, having felt his eyes on her.

He’s wearing an inscrutable expression. He’s not exactly easy to read, but it looks as if he’s taking extra care not to express any emotion. She offers him a smile, not sure what to do or say. He doesn’t return it, but he does finally look away.

She peers up at the clear blue sky, wondering what kind of exchange that was. She rests her arms behind her head, closing her eyes. It’s a vacation. She’s going to get in as many naps as possible….

She wakes sometimes later, having been shaken awake. She blinks a few times to clear the sleep from her vision.

“The tide is coming in,” Enji tells her. She nods to show her understanding before sitting up. She stretches with a yawn. “Dinner?”

She’s not sure if it’s a question or a demand.

“Sure,” she agrees. “I could go for something to eat.” She stands, grabbing her towel. She shakes off as much sand as possible before slipping her coverup back on.

“We should change at the hotel,” he says.

“Good idea.” She looks down at herself. “A quick shower might be good, too.” She gives him a crooked smile. He nods and she swears she sees the ghost of a smile on his lips.

She feels significantly less uncomfortable on the walk back, perhaps because he’s actually not that scary. He’s just not very talkative. And if she doesn’t think about how he’s her boss, it’s almost like hanging out with a friend. A very new friend. Okay, maybe it’s still a little awkward.

Dinner is a quick and quiet affair. He doesn’t say much and she isn’t sure what to say. When they finish, they bid each other a good night and go their separate ways. She takes the time to call her parents so she can speak with Isaac and Hazel. They tell her all about their trip so far and she shares hers.

“You spoke with Mr. Endeavor?” Isaac seems in awe.

“Yeah, sweetie. I spoke with Mr. Endeavor.”

“Can you get his autograph for me?” She can hear the excitement in his voice.

“His autograph?” She repeats.

“Yes!” Isaac is definitely bouncing on the other end. “I saw him on the TV! He’s my new favorite Hero!” She chuckles.

“Sure thing, sweetie. I’ll get his autograph for you.” It shouldn’t be too difficult. He is her boss and she’s sure he’s used to being asked for it.

“You’re the best, Mommy!” She smiles at that.

“Love you, too, sweetie.”

“Okay, I’m gonna give the phone to Hazel now.” There’s a shuffling noise before she hears Hazel’s voice.

“How are things going, Mom?”

“They’re going well,” she answers. “How are you doing?”

“It’s okay.” She hears Hazel shrug. “Nanny took me to the museum, so I guess it’s alright.”

“The museum?” She prompts. “Which one?”

“The Hero Museum,” there’s a smile in her voice. “It was pretty cool.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” She really is. Hazel is a difficult child sometimes, but her interests aren’t outside the realm of any other ten-year-old. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Love you too, Mom,” Hazel huffs. “I’m giving you back to Nanny now.” More noise as the phone is swapped to another.

She talks to her mom for a few more minutes, just to be sure the kids are behaving. Her mom assures her that everything is fine and to enjoy her own vacation.

The next day is spent much the same: at the beach with her boss. Enji. She keeps having to remind herself. She does manage to get his autograph, explaining it’s for her youngest. He asks about him, and she’s more than happy to talk about her kids.

He speaks about his own children, much older than her own, but there’s pride in his voice as he speaks about them. She can’t help but smile, her laughter coming freely when he tells embarrassing stories about them. It feels like she’s getting to know him and she can’t help but like what she’s seeing.

It’s hard not to find him physically attractive, but she’s old enough to not be distracted by a pretty body. She’s worked for his agency for nearly ten years; she’s long gotten used to the way he looks. But something about their conversations has her reassessing him.

The third day on the island, something feels different between them. He feels warmer, somehow. It isn’t exactly anything particular he does. It’s in the way they lean towards each other when they speak, the way they keep bumping into each other, the way they keep finding ways to spend time together. It’s a combination of all these things that has her heart pounding when she sees him.

She decides to make a move. Either he ignores it or he reciprocates. Either way, there’s no harm done. They’re on vacation. Perhaps she’s feeling a little risky because of it. Away from work, away from her kids, she’s feeling a little more brave than usual.

It’s been years since she last was with anyone. After Isaac’s father left, she swore off dating and catching feelings in general. It was just too much of a hassle. Why now, after all these years, she isn’t sure. Something about it just feels different. Feels right.

They go out for dinner as usual, but she invites him to the hotel bar afterwards. She doesn’t fully expect him to agree, so when he does she’s feeling more confident. They sit next to each other at the near empty hotel bar, drinks in hand.

When she makes a joke, laughing at it while he gives a slight grin, she reaches out to put her hand on his arm. He looks surprised by it at first, eyes going slightly wider. She wonders for a brief moment if she’s overstepped, pulling her hand back, but he quickly grabs it before she can withdraw.

They stare at one another, neither saying anything. It’s like he’s waiting for a signal. She nods. He moves into action, pulling her up from her seat. He keeps their fingers entwined, tugging her along to the elevator.

It’s actually happening, she realizes, as she leads him to her hotel room. She didn’t think this would ever actually happen.

He presses her against the hotel door, mouth hot and heavy on hers. She grasps at his arms, his shirt, anything she can reach to keep herself afloat. She’s quickly giving in, sinking further into his desires. She doesn’t think she wants to fight them anymore.

His mouth moves down to her neck, biting and kissing. She can’t help the sounds spilling from her and just hopes no one in the rooms around can hear her. His hands—big, so big—tug at her dress until she’s slipping the straps from her shoulders and letting it fall to the ground.

His bright turquoise eyes stare at her, wearing nothing more than a pair of lacy underwear. She feels intimidated by that heavy gaze, feels the urge to cover herself.

“Don’t,” he growls as he grabs her hands, pulling them away. “Let me see you.”

She lets her hands fall to the side, trying not to feel so self-conscious. She tries not to think of all the stretch marks across her belly and thighs, on the tops of her breasts. She tries to remind herself that they wouldn’t be here if he didn’t see something desirable about her body.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, cupping a breast. It fits perfectly in his hand, his thumb rubbing circles against her nipple. She squirms, a moan slipping from her parted lips.

“You too,” she tosses back. “I want to see you, too.” He grins, something crooked and slightly menacing. But he pulls away from her, tugging off his shirt and shorts. She reaches for the last piece separating them from each other, pulling them down.

She can’t help but stare. She knew he was a large man, but it couldn’t have prepared her for how proportionate that made him. Long and thick, red at the head. She wraps her hand around him as best she can, giving a few short tugs, and hears him groan. Will it even fit?

She doesn’t have much more room for thought as he pulls her in for another kiss, tugging her towards the bed. She goes willingly, wanting nothing more than to feel him against her. He nibbles at her bottom lip and she licks at his; soon their tongues tangle together. It’s been so long since she’s been with anyone like this. She hopes she can make it as good for him as it feels for her.

She lays on the bed, situating herself against the pillows. She beckons him, wanting to close the distance between them. He lays himself atop her, balanced by his hands on either side of her hips. He kisses her, sweeter this time. Not as desperate.

He kisses a path down her neck, across her shoulder, before dipping to take a nipple into his mouth. She shudders, pleasure welling within her. She runs a hand through his hair, red strands tickling between her fingers. He hums, licking and sucking her nipples.

“Enji,” she whines, pushing on his head. He chuckles, moving lower. He plants kisses across her stomach, still a little pudgy from her last pregnancy nearly eight years ago. She feels self-conscious about it, but the way he worships her body makes it a little better.

Finally, he’s exactly where she wants him. He wastes no time, diving right into his task. Her head knocks against the headboard, but the brief bloom of pain is nothing compared to the sensation between her legs.

He eats her out like a man starved. A little uncoordinated, but enthusiastic. His tongue circles her clit before flicking it, a single thick finger toying with her hole. She grips the blankets beneath them, unable to stop the noises slipping out of her kiss-swollen lips.

He slips a single finger in finally. It’s as thick as two of her own, but she knows she’s going to need the preparation if he’s going inside of her. She squirms, wanting to clamp her legs shut, but his shoulders keep her spread. She has no choice but to give in to the onslaught of sensations.

And give in she does. Head thrown back, mouth open and spilling profanity with his name mixed in. She couldn’t keep quiet if she wanted to and she can tell he definitely doesn’t want her to keep quiet. That single finger pumps in and out, stretching her, before he adds a second.

It’s almost too much, but she forces her body to relax. She’s soaking, giving him plenty to work with. His spit and her fluids ease the way for that second finger. She moans, pressing down against him. She feels his laughter, a gentle vibration through her cunt.

“Please,” she begs. “Want you inside.”

She’s ready for it. She can handle it. He pulls off, looking up at her, and she can’t help but flush at the sight of him. His chin is wet with her juices, his lips swollen. He shifts up, towering above her, and reaches down to line himself up.

Her mouth opens on a silent moan as he pushes in, stretching her beyond what she thought she was capable of. It’s painful at first, but as she has time to adjust it morphs into pleasure.

“Finally,” his voice rumbles through her. “Been wanting to do this.”

She whines, pushing her hips down and against him. She needs him to move already. It’s been ages since she last got fucked and she’s eager for it. She wants him to pound her into the mattress until she forgets who she is.

He delivers on those fantasies. He fucks into her roughly and with abandon, until she’s moaning his name and his name only. He shoves two of his fingers into her mouth and she sucks on them, drool seeping from the corner of her mouth. She doesn’t even care, too busy with the feel of him.

She doesn’t even care anymore when things changed between them. The only thing she cares about in that moment is coming around his cock. She can worry about feelings and emotions later. Right now, she’s only focused on reaching that high.

He reaches between them to roll his thumb against her clit and she can feel her eyes roll to the back of her head. Just a few circles and she’s cumming hard around his cock. He fucks her through it, fingers shoved deep in her mouth.

When she comes down, she takes a moment to appreciate the fucked out look on his face. The squinting of his eyes as he concentrates, the sweat beading on his temples, and the slack-jawed grunts and groans spilling from his lips.

“Inside,” she tells him. “Come inside me.” It’s a risky request, but she wants it. He does, too, judging by the way his thrusts speed up until he growls and spills inside of her.

When he pulls up, she feels his semen trickle down the inside of her thighs. He collapses onto the bed beside her, but searches for her hand among the sheets. He laces their fingers together and she smiles up at the ceiling.

The mood is ruined by the sound of her ringtone, however. She’s tempted not to answer, but it might be her parents calling about the kids. With a sigh and a silent promise to return, she gets out of the bed to answer.

“Mommy!” Her son, Isaac, shouts from the other side. “Are you coming home yet?”

“Not yet, sweetie,” she laughs. “In a few more days.”

“Awww,” he pouts. “You’re with Mr. Endeavor, right, mommy?”

“Yeah,” her voice is soft with affection as she gazes towards the bed, where Enji is lounging.

“Did you get his autograph for me?” She chuckles, but confirms she did.. “Yay! You’re the best, mommy!”

Isaac hands the phone off to her mother, who updates her on her eldest who refuses to come to the phone. It’s just like Hazel to be so stubborn. They’re doing fine, her mother assures her, and tells her to enjoy her only vacation in eight years. She just laughs, but promises to have as much fun as possible.

When she’s finished, she sets her phone back down on the desk and wanders back to the bed. Enji greets her with open arms and she rests her head on his chest. She listens to his heartbeat, letting it lull her to sleep.

Best getaway ever, is her final thought before she falls asleep.

[link4eva]

Kiro’s Work Visit Date (探班之约) Translation [CN]

Hi! Just a couple of notes before you begin reading...

This fluffy and wholesome date was just released (March 11, 2021) in the CN server and will eventually be released in the ENG server sometime next year.

I also don’t know any Chinese myself so all of this translation was done through the power of Google Translate and with help from the lovely @keliosyfan​ .

You can read his Couch Potato call that comes with this date here!

Hope you enjoy!~

*Spoilers ahead for future content!*

[First Part]

MC: So now the question is….

Kiro: Wait a minute! I didn’t seem to understand too much of what was said. Let me take a look!

During the video call, Kiro suddenly moved his face close to the screen with excitement.

Kiro: Miss Chips, do you mean that….you’re going to go in person and be a host on the show?

MC: Pretty much….

Some time ago, I did a variety show about a certain European town called “Cloud Tourism”.

The reason it’s called “Cloud Tourism” is because I’ve never been to this small town before. I only got a preliminary understanding of the traditional customs there through a novel.

Out of an abundance of interest, I consulted a lot of relevant sources and finally released a program with the concept of “seeing words as faces”.

Originally it was just an experiment inspired by an idea that didn’t really make any big splashes in China.

Unexpectedly, an internet celebrity from the small town recommended this program on his personal blog which led to it becoming popular very quickly.

Kiro: Oh….slowly but surely, I figured it out.  Not only has this show received great praise, the local TV station also sincerely invited you to come and do some interviews. Even in the form of a reality show, I must say that Miss Chips is amazing!

MC: ......

MC: I think you understand it pretty clearly but some parts are exaggerated….

Kiro: Congratulations, MC!~

Kiro: If I wasn’t shooting abroad, I would definitely take you there to celebrate! But we can celebrate like we did before….

MC: Wait! Wait a minute! I haven’t decided whether to go or not yet….

Kiro: This is a great opportunity to promote the company. Why are you so hesitant?

MC: Although I have previous experience, this would be my first time shooting as the host….

MC: What if I’m too nervous in front of the camera? It’ll affect the shoot.

Kiro: Miss Chips.

On the screen, Kiro sat upright and pushed his glasses up that were nonexistent.

Kiro: It seems that you’ve forgotten that there’s an experienced acting teacher right in front of you.

MC: Pff….I would like to ask Mr. Kiro how I can act natural in front of the camera. 

Kiro: It is very simple. Step one is to do the warm-up exercises in advance. Your shoulders should also be really relaxed. Then imagine the camera as a friend who can’t speak and has big eyes….

A few minutes later, Kiro was still “teaching” very professional acting techniques on the phone screen.

Kiro: Hello, MC, are you still listening?

MC: Um….I don’t think I can do this.

His bright eyes suddenly crinkled upwards, hiding a triumphant smile.

Kiro: I’m just teasing you. In fact, you only need to remember the first few steps.

MC: But I’m worried that if I get nervous, I’ll forget those first few steps. I hope that I can become Kiro that day!

Kiro curled his lips up again when he heard those words.

Kiro: Then close your eyes and hypnotize yourself….

Kiro: “I am the superstar Kiro!” 

[Second Part]

At five o’clock in the morning in the dressing room at the local TV station.

I tilted my head to face the makeup artist and held back yet another yawn.

The makeup artist whispered a few words to the accompanying translator and then left the dressing room.

Translator: Miss MC, the makeup artist has finished your makeup. The director will be here shortly. You can rest for a while.

I nodded gratefully. This country’s language is one that I’m not familiar with so the TV station specifically hired an interpreter.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt my phone vibrate.

Kiro: MC, are you still in makeup?

MC: Just finished. Are you ready to start work too?

Kiro: I’ve already been working for an hour.

MC: Why so early? It’s only five o’clock where you are!

Kiro: Don’t worry, I’m used to this kind of shooting routine.

Although I’ve known before that Kiro started almost every filming session in the morning, this was the first time experiencing it for myself. It’s hard work getting up early and putting on makeup.

What’s more, he often works overtime to catch up on his other stuff and rarely has enough time to rest.

MC: Then you must take time to rest!

Kiro: It’s okay. If I’m tired, I just close my eyes and think of Miss Chips’ smile. 

Kiro seemed to take a deep breath on the other end.

Kiro: Hmm~ Charging is complete!

I seemed to see him being content and I couldn’t help being amused by him. 

Kiro: By the way, what is your shooting schedule today?

MC: It’s sightseeing shooting. The director arranged to take me to several local attractions and I can also choose places of interest. 

MC: The first stop on the agenda is to explore the shop on the pedestrian street.

Kiro: Great! I heard from the crew that there is a famous cake shop on the pedestrian street of that small town. I will send you the address.

Kiro: Only by filling up your stomach and replenishing your energy can you be in the best state!

(Cut to the street)

MC: Well….

I watched my stiff expression and rigid body in the video replay. I couldn’t help but curl my toes and pick at the ground.

Director: Take it easy, alright?

I nodded slowly.

The director looked at me with sympathy and discussed some things with the translator for a while.

Translator: The director wants to know if you have anything you want to do. He suggested that if we start with one of your interests first, you’ll get into the right state of mind faster.

MC: Well, there is one place….

I almost immediately thought of the cake shop that Kiro had mentioned.

(Cut to cake shop)

Because of how early it was in the morning when we arrived at this cake shop called “Flipped”, the first batch of pastries had just come out of the oven. 

I was standing in front of the shop window outside the store while the director was preparing for shooting and I made adjustments for myself. 

Shoulders down, jaw relaxed, a smile appeared on my face. I recalled the formula Kiro taught me.

Close your eyes. Look into your heart.

“I’m the “not afraid of anything” Kiro!”

A burst of mellow sweetness lingered wantonly in the air. I opened my eyes and focused on the window again.

A pair of bright and familiar smiling eyes appeared in the window. The owner of these smiling eyes waved to me.

I felt my heart jump out of my chest.

Kiro: Hello, Miss Chips~ 

Looking at the two intersecting faces on the window glass, I finally couldn’t help but smile.

Oops, I really did become Kiro.

[Third Part]

I didn’t expect Kiro to have secretly been planning to see me on set. I was pleasantly surprised and realized that I was deceived by him during the morning call.

I made a “follow me” gesture to him through the glass.

(Cut to alleyway)

In the alleyway next to the cake shop, I wiped away the shock in my heart and checked, again and again, to make sure that no one else had followed us.

Kiro: Don’t worry, MC. Almost all the folks in this small town will have no idea who I am. And….

He pointed proudly to the sunglasses on his nose.

Kiro: I also came prepared.

I looked around and around and deliberately put on a face of worry.

MC: Why are you here? Weren’t you filming in another country?

Kiro: Actually, I don’t have any shooting arrangements today. It only takes an hour and a half to fly to this country from the shooting location. And it only takes two hours to take the train from the town’s airport.

MC: No matter how easy you make it sound, that was no easy journey….

MC: And with this time off, you should be resting in the hotel.

He pulled down his sunglasses aggrievedly. 

Kiro: But I really wanted to visit you at work for once, and give you encouragement at your side, just like what you did for me last time.

Kiro: And more importantly, I really missed you…. 

(Here’s a cute little clip of this dialogue uploaded by @cheri-translates​  !)

MC: Kiro….

All of my pretentious arrogance dissipated in an instant and I was about to reach out and hug him. But, he crossed his arms in front of him.

Kiro: But speaking of shooting, I just observed it secretly and your performance does have some small flaws.

Kiro: Your expressions are small and stiff, your movements are rigid and tiny, and your eye contact flutters from time to time….

Kiro: Also, you can walk without looking at the camera…. If I look at the camera while walking, [robot noises] don’t I look like a robot?

The more he talked about it, the more he assumed the coach position. He made a great show of it too.

I was so embarrassed that I nodded my head to accept the criticism with shame.

Kiro: Hahahaha--I’ll stop teasing you. 

He leaned over and squished my cheek and curled his lips again.

Kiro: Although, I can see that you are a bit nervous. I’m used to seeing your confident working style as a producer on set….

Kiro: It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this nervous. You can do it, love! *Did my own interpretation of what he said here cause I had no clue what Google was trying to say lol.*

He opened his arms and the morning sun fell on his shoulders.

Kiro: Come on, Miss Chips.

Kiro: Thank you for your hard work. For that, you get a rechargeable hug from Kiro.

I nodded my head hard and as soon as I took a step of joy, the director poked his head out of the alley. 

Director: Stand by, sweety!

I slammed the brakes and took out my phone, pretending to take a call. I shook my head slightly at Kiro.

He immediately showed me an aggrieved expression and I gave him a wink.

MC: It’s okay, I’ve already learned a recharging trick from Teacher Kiro.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, sketching a picture of bright, smiling eyes on the pitch-black canvas.

When I opened my eyes, those smiling eyes gradually merged with Kiro’s in front of me.

MC: Charging is complete~

(Cut to inside cake shop)

Under the guidance of Kiro, “the super professional”, I calmed down and tried to get into the shooting state.

However, in order to not affect my shooting state, Kiro pretended to be a stranger and waited silently near the shooting location.

When I don’t know which dessert to choose, he would raise his voice and give me a hint.

With pastry crumbs hanging on the corner of my mouth, he pointed at the corner of his mouth and winked at me until I understood what he meant.

During the filming, there were children running around noisily, so he used the tablecloth on the table to do some tricks to attract their attention.

Perhaps because of his “invisible” companionship, I really became more natural before I knew it.

Translator: The shooting in the store is OK! The director said that we are going to shoot some scenes on the pedestrian street next. Miss MC just needs to walk around the street casually.

After checking the route with the director in the cake shop, I realized that the table where Kiro was sitting was empty.

(Cut to the street)

I walked out of the cake shop and looked around but did not find him.

Without giving me too much time to think, the director shouted to start behind the camera.

I tried to walk the streets with peace of mind but my eyes subconsciously looked for Kiro.

Although the sun is shining in the early spring, there is still a bit of a chill in the air that has just warmed up.

Inexplicably, my heart is a little empty.

There was hustle and bustle on the other side of the street and my gaze followed the prestige in the center surrounded by a group of local children. The familiar blonde hair was dazzling and shining.

Kiro was holding a few yellow balloons in his hand with the children cheering around him as if he had helped them stop the balloons from flying away.

He squatted down and handed them the balloons one by one.

As if he could feel my gaze, he turned around and gave me an unreserved smile.

The empty part of my heart instantly filled up at this moment.

I retracted my gaze and found that the director was gesturing at me to continue walking. I quickly continued to walk.

When I pretended to spontaneously look to the other side of the road, I found Kiro with his hands in his pockets walking at the same pace as me.

Although separated by the road, he walked with me in such a special way.

The approaching noon sunshine finally had the temperature as spring.

[Fourth Part]

The shooting had finally come to an end before dusk came.

But Kiro disappeared when I was filming the last scenic spot.

As soon as I had finished work, I took out my phone to check it and found that Kiro had sent me two text messages half an hour ago.

Kiro: MC, I will have filming tomorrow so I have to rush to take the last train.

Kiro: Also, you performed well. I know my MC is the best.

I hurriedly called Kiro but the call informed me that his phone was turned off.

I took a look at the time and it was about 20 minutes away from the shooting location to the train station in town.

Maybe Kiro has boarded the return train and even arrived at the airport….

However, before I could think rationally, I didn’t hesitate to reach out and stop a taxi.

(Cut to the train station)

Due to the small population of the town, the train station at dusk is deserted.

I couldn’t understand the local language on the big screen at the station so I stood on tiptoe and looking into the waiting area in the hall.

Benches in the waiting area, a window for manual ticket purchases, on both sides of the platform, beside the vending machine.

Kiro wasn’t there.

My shoulders drooped in disappointment and I walked slowly towards the station gate.

The setting sun gives off the last bit of its light and the half-curved dome clouds shroud half the station hall in the shadows.

A slender figure stepped out of the shadow and looked at the phone in his hand, his face was as disappointed and lonely as mine.

The sunset gradually kept coming down for another minute but it just happened to pass through the windows around the station, covering the entire lobby with a layer of gold.

I looked at the young man illuminated by the golden light and couldn’t help but shout.

MC: Kiro!!!

He raised his head with a surprised expression.

Kiro: MC?

I waved at him frantically and ran in his direction.

He regained his senses after a brief moment of disbelief and then opened his arms wide like everytime he hugs me.

The moment his breath came to my face, my heart was filled with contentment.

Kiro put a hand around my waist tightly, lowered his head, and rubbed my forehead.

Kiro: Why are you here?

MC: I remembered that I borrowed something from you today, so I ran to pay you back.

Kiro: What’s that?

I tightened my arms around his neck.

MC: Isn’t this for you?

His breathing seemed to be slightly stagnant. He slid his hand on my waist to my hair.

Kiro: Then I’ll gladly take it.

MC: I….

He bowed his head slightly, and put the words that I was eager to confide in between his lips.

.

.

.

Trains in foreign towns are always prone to delays. Thanks to this, Kiro has been at the station until now so we now have the opportunity to be alone outside of our schedules.

As soon as the setting sun fell, the stars scrambled to fill the sky.

We were dressed in starlight, sitting side-by-side on the benches outside of the station, waiting for the late train. 

Kiro: How was the last scenic shoot? Did it go well? 

MC: OK! But when I was eating a snack, I poured all the ingredients inside by accident.

MC: But in fact, you’re just supposed to pick a flavour and eat it as a dip. The director laughed and shouted “CUT”....

Kiro: Pff….hahahahaha! Fortunately, I wasn’t there or I would’ve been laughing even louder!

MC: And there was….

I counted all the interesting things about today’s shooting, and laughed happily with Kiro.

Kiro: I’m glad I was able to come to the shoot today. Otherwise, I would have missed so many interesting things about MC.

MC: Kiro, do you feel that our current conversations seem to have the roles reversed?

MC: I used to visit you at your shoots, and you talked with me about all the interesting things that happened during them.

MC: Today, we “swapped” identities, and I feel a little delicate.

Kiro: Can I interview the delicate mood of Miss Chips?

He held his hand out to me as if he were holding a microphone and placed it in front of my mouth.

MC: Well, when I was shooting before, I could always feel your gaze. I felt it a lot today.

MC: It turned out to be difficult to stop myself from gazing back.

MC: Obviously, I saw you all day, but I had to hold back from looking at you.

MC: Obviously, you are by my side, but I have to resist the urge to hug you….

My cheeks were slightly hot and I avoided Kiro’s gaze. I lifted my head to look at the stars in the sky when I heard a “click”.

I turned my head and found that Kiro was taking pictures of me with his phone, the power bank that I had given him was still hanging from it.

MC: !

I took a look at the phone in his hand and saw the picture.

MC: It’s ugly! Delete it quickly!

Kiro: How is it ugly? The most natural MC is obviously the most lovely MC!

MC: I’m not letting you keep the power bank to charge your phone as revenge. Delete it quickly!

I struggled to snatch the phone from him, only to find that all the pictures he had taken today were of me.

I randomly clicked on a picture Kiro had taken of me eating a grilled sausage with an exaggerated expression, with me nervously facing the table in the background.

MC: You little….!

I glared at him angrily then clicked on other photos.

I frowned and watched the replay. I was stubbornly asking for another shot and I looked at him in the distance.

Kiro: Miss Chips….

He prolonged the ending, slowly coming closer to me.

Kiro: Don’t delete them. They’re all my precious memories of you. I want to keep them.

MC: No wonder your phone is out of power. You took too many photos!

He heard the relaxation in my tone and happily took the phone from me.

Kiro: Is this really too much? Compared to all of the photos of me on your phone, this is nothing out of the ordinary.

I blushed and tried to retort.

MC: Well, that’s because you are Kiro!

Kiro: But to me, you are MC.

He said this in a sincere tone.

Kiro: Just like you said, I also felt MC’s unusual mood today.

Kiro: I was worried whether you would be thirsty after talking for so long. And worried that you’d be tired after shooting for so long.

Kiro: You did well. I'm proud of you.

Kiro: The most important is….

He slowly came closer to me. I was the only thing in the reflection of his eyes.

Kiro: Although the scenery of this small town is beautiful, your shooting content is also very rich.

Kiro: But just like this moment….

Kiro: Under the starry sky, I can only see you.

Kiro: You are the unique star in my world. 

[END]

[fanficshiddles]

Trust, Chapter 1

Summary: Darcy’s life is turned upside down when she’s kidnapped by Loki, held hostage until he gets the tesseract from the Avengers. But what Loki wasn’t banking on, was how much he grows to like the mortal. Can she talk him round to the good side? 

- Darcy had been hoping for a change of pace to her life. It was just the same old routine every day. Sure, she worked with The Avengers in their compound on the outskirts of the city. Well, not exactly The Avengers, but as Jane’s apprentice…

It was exciting at first, being around the superheroes all the time. She had hoped to maybe start doing better jobs, getting paid… but that wasn’t happening any time soon. She mainly made tea and coffee for Jane and sometimes the superheroes if Jane was working with them, she found she was more like a slave for the scientist than anything else.

But when she had been hoping for something exciting to happen, she certainly didn’t mean getting kidnapped by a God.

She had been minding her own business outside the compound, eating her lunch and listening to music loud with her headphones on. She failed to hear the alien space ship landing on the green behind her, too busy listening to Space Oddity. Ironically.

Munching away on her sandwich, she looked up ahead of her when she saw Natasha and Steve running towards her. Thinking they were going to steal her food, she cradled her lunch box against her.

‘Nu uh, get your owwwwwwwwww!’ She squealed as she was lifted up from the ground by a very firm arm around her middle and she was hauled into a just as firm body. ‘What the hell!’

Her earphones fell out as she struggled, she craned her neck around to look at her captor and felt her blood run cold. She recognised it was Loki. His face had been plastered on plenty of newspapers and TV stations after the New York incident, hell, that had been over a year ago but he was still in the news all the time because he had managed to escape.

‘LOKI! Put her down!’ Natasha shouted and pulled out her gun, aiming it at the God.

Loki chuckled. ‘Your measly gun will not stop me. I will let this mortal go, if you return the tesseract to me.’

‘No way! We don’t even have it!’ Steve said.

‘You don’t want me, dude. Seriously, they wouldn’t trade me for shit.’ Darcy commented, but kind of regretted it when a dagger formed in his hand and the blade was threateningly pressed against her throat.

‘LOKI!’ Thor bellowed as he and Jane came running out of the compound.

Loki’s grip on Darcy tightened, she felt like he was close to squeezing the life out of her. These damn Gods didn’t know their own strength.

‘Let her go!’ Thor said a little calmer, putting his hands out on front of him as if it would calm the situation down.

Loki narrowed his eyes at Thor, then glanced to the other Avengers. In a split second, his dagger vanished and he threw a small ball to the ground on front of him and a puff of green smoke quickly filled the space between the superheroes and Loki with his captive.

Darcy coughed from the smoke, but the next thing she knew Loki lifted her clean off the ground and she was hurriedly carried into the spaceship she failed to notice previously. She was flung down to the floor as the door shut and the ship took off at lightning speed.

Loki went to the front of the ship and sat down. Darcy scrambled to the side to hold on. She looked around and was slightly amazed at being in an actual alien space ship.

‘So much for Jane getting all the excitement of going to space.’ She muttered to herself.

Her eyes were then drawn to Loki at the front of the ship. She saw a weird alien, very alike to the aliens that had attacked New York. But it was smaller and looked… dead. Or that’s what she would’ve thought if it hadn’t been piloting the ship.

Deciding her best bet was to stay quiet and stay where she was, that’s exactly what she did.

-

Darcy wasn’t sure if it was the whole ordeal of being kidnapped by a God or the fact she was flying through space at an alarming rate, but she passed out and slept for the duration of the journey. So when she woke up to Loki nudging her with his boot, she was completely disorientated and confused.

‘Ten more minutes, you can make your own coffee.’ She muttered, rolling over onto her other side. But then she realised she wasn’t in bed. And it wasn’t Jane trying to wake her up. She was on a very uncomfortable floor and it was an irritated God that was nudging her.

‘Get up, mortal.’ He snarled.

She sat up quickly and glared at Loki, who just glared right back at her.

‘I won’t tell you again, girl. Get up.’

Darcy huffed and got up to her feet. She wiped her clothes down from the dust of the smoke bomb that Loki had used back at the compound. ‘Not very gentlemanly to wake someone up by kicking them.’ She huffed.

Loki frowned. ‘I did not kick you.’ He shook his head and his face turned stern again. ‘Come on.’ He turned on his heels and stormed out of the ship, his cape flying out behind him.

‘Dramatic.’ Darcy said to herself as she followed after the God.

She quickly glanced to the alien that had been flying the ship, she frowned as she saw it was now hunched over the controls. It definitely looked dead now if it hadn’t been before.

Stepping off the ship, she was surprised as she looked around her surroundings. It looked like Earth, but it definitely wasn’t Earth. It looked like there was four suns, that were starting to go down. And the sky was purple. Which definitely wasn’t normal. Or her normal anyway.

‘What is this place?’ Darcy asked as she followed Loki up to the small house. It seemed to just be in the middle of a field, but as she looked at her surroundings a bit closer, she could see that in said fields were large stems of what looked like barley. But the barley was an odd grey colour.

Loki opened the door and stepped to the side, motioning for her get in. She stopped dead and stared at him as she folded her arms over her chest. ‘You’ve just kidnapped me. You need to tell me what the hell is going on.’

Loki narrowed his eyes at her and took a large, menacing step towards her. She didn’t back away, though she wished she did when he towered over her and gripped her face harshly, his fingers dug into her cheeks that made her lips pout out like a fish.

‘I don’t need to tell you anything. Now get inside!’ He snarled at her.

‘And what if I refuse?’ She asked, but it came out a little funny because of the way he was holding her cheeks.

Loki humphed and let go of her, he stormed inside and stopped just in the door. ‘You can either get inside, or take your chances outside with them. It’s starting to get dark.’ He looked out over the fields.

Darcy looked around, wondering what the heck he meant by them. But then she spotted them. In amongst the barley, was a bunch of glowing red eyes that suddenly appeared all around the house.

‘Oh shit.’ She quickly darted inside, relieved that Loki didn’t just shut the door on her face.

He locked it once she was in and he had the key vanish. She had heard all about Loki and his magic tricks from Thor. She took the opportunity while he wasn’t looking to look around the house. It was just like any ordinary house from back home. Mainly open planned aside from a bedroom and bathroom that were separate.

She was having a nosey in the fridge, for some reason rather glad it was full of food. Though she wasn’t entirely sure if it would be safe to eat or not. She had just closed the fridge door when Loki’s voice startled her.

‘You’re acting very calm for someone who has just been abducted.’

Darcy scowled over at him, he was leaning cockily against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. Watching her intently.

‘What do you want me to do? Run around screaming and clawing at the door? Or perhaps curl up into a ball in the corner and just cry all night?’ She flailed her arms out at her sides.

Loki’s left eyebrow shot up at her response.

‘Besides. If you were going to kill me, you’d have done it by now. You clearly have an agenda to get that glowing cube thingy back, so you need me alive.’ She pulled out a chair at the table and sat down.

‘You’re a smart girl. So far, you’ve made all the right choices. Continue to do so, and you shall be returned without so much as a scratch. Once your heroes get me the tesseract.’ Loki said as he slowly walked across the room towards her.

‘Well I hate to break it to ya, but as I said down on Earth, they won’t trade me for shit.’

Loki tilted his head slightly and came to a stop at the opposite side of the table, he leaned against the back of the chair. ‘They certainly looked panicked when I grabbed you. You may not have been my original target, but you were right there for the taking. So it made my job much easier but still seemed to be effective.’

Darcy’s head fell backwards and she groaned. ‘Of fucking course I wasn’t the main target. That’s typical. Even being kidnapped, I’m the wrong bloody one.’ She stood up and, in the process, pushed her chair flying back, it scraped along the floor loudly, making Loki cringe. Then she stormed off into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her.

Is she seriously pissed off because she wasn’t the intended target? Loki thought in complete bewilderment.

[non-binharry]

okay but can we talk about bottomharrykingdom for a second?because its creation clearly was a reaction to blp, and while it doesn't exclusively focus on harry bottoming but also explores gender and whatnot... why is it named that, it's making my skin crawl. and it irks me a little bit that you have a problem with blouies but see nothing wrong with bhk

i’m sorry anon that what i do on my own blog irks you, but allow me to clear the air:

1. i do not have a problem with blouies because they have a preference for who tops and who bottoms. that really doesn’t matter to me. as long as you keep it to fanfiction, i don’t actually care. now, it’s abundantly clear based on how adamant they are on this unsubstantial size difference that the main reason blouies are drawn to bottom!louis is because he’s small, whether they recognize it or not. you will see in every fandom surrounding mlm relationships that the softer, smaller, kinder, younger, etc. man will be given the role as bottom. it happens without fail. but i digress.

2. my general problems with blouies are that they a) feminize louis into a soft dainty bottom when he’s literally never gave any indication that he’s like that therefore pushing a stereotype that bottoms must be feminine, which is both homophobic and misogynistic b) think everything they believe about louis is real and true and if you don’t believe it you absolutely must hate the real louis c) call anything and everything that doesn’t support their beliefs either a lie directly from hl’s mouths to our ears or management forcing hl into a certain image d) push a hyper masculine image onto harry despite the fact that harry doesn’t define his masculinity by the standards of others, and has joked about how unmasculine he is.

3. my BIGGEST problem with blouies is the fact that they felt like people pointing out that harry could be trans was a conversation that in any way required their opinion. they talk so much shit about bharries having an agenda and fetishizing trans people, but they ignore the fact that many people who believe harry is trans are a) not larries b) not bharries and c) trans/nb ourselves. you know who has an agenda about trans harry? the people who spend so much time pretending that harry is aggressively masculine. they saw us pointing out how harry’s relationship with his own femininity could be indication of something more and they felt threatened that harry being trans would blow the biggest fucking hole in the fantasy of harry that they’ve created (because they hate him the way that he is). then, to try to hold onto any bit of this fantasy harry that they can, they perpetuate transphobic ideas of how harry just can’t be trans because his body looks a certain way, because he grows facial hair, because he boxes and lifts weights, etc etc etc. and don’t giving a flying fuck that it hurts rl trans people to see people say this about harry, because we know it’s what many people say about us too.

4. bhk was one of the first blogs i followed when i started blogging about harry (fine line release day baby). why? because they were one of the few blogs i saw posting about the idea of harry being trans. not because they were being “fetishists with an agenda” who conflate harry’s gender identity with what he prefers to do in bed, but because they saw a conversation that fans wanted to have and recognized that they had the platform to amplify that conversation. they don’t try to paint a narrow image of hl to support top/bottom dynamics (which in their faq they make clear is for fiction). the “masculine haddy” in hoodies and basketball shorts or with facial hair that blouies love so much? they post that. soft louis edits and fanart and photos? they post that too. their twaddy tag exists. you get a much more honest depiction of hl just being themselves from bhk than you would ever get from any blouie.

in conclusion, my beef (not of the haddy variety) is not that blouies are blouies. it’s that they’re transphobic, fetishizing dickbags and their cishet queen lads is the biggest dickbag of them all. it’s never been about the (what should have been) fiction of it all. it’s about the bad, harmful, toxic behavior that comes with it.

[babysprouseisart]

Honestly more things are pointing to a permanent separation for SH. No indications of any reconciliation sadly. And it makes it even harder without the confirmation. I guess when they start to get papped with their new SOs will be the day that it is confirmed they are done. And I hope it is soon. This push and pull with them is exhausting

Good day, anon, and welcome to hell. Screams for help will not save you, alas, because when it comes to a topic in which I am 99, 9% sure, I have no equals. I'm sorry you probably got the wrong address, but it's too late. I am merciless and bloodthirsty with anyone who tries to contradict my faith, tries to correct my point of view and convince me of their own, although I did not give it a reason. Because it's my fucking blog where I for x-billionth time has already expressed my exact points and agreed with some people which think and proved the exact opposite to all that you are saying. So be prepared to be slowly but surely tortured by my long ass post.

 So, let's start with what I said about my blog: only good vibes here. I am not interested/concerned about other opposite/negative feedings. I just don't want to make a big deal about it. Here, in my blog, we support Lili Pauline Reinhart and Cole Mitchell Sprouse in any case as couple as well as individuals.

 This means that under no circumstances do we talk about them, their relationships, their projects, their family, or their decisions in a negative way. Yes, we may disagree with something they do, where they do it, and how they do it (what they post, what they like/don't like, write or repost, who they meet, with whom they decide to be, live and communicate with, what they archive/unarchive, and so on), but we do not have the right to judge them or decide how to act. We also can't control it and it's none of our business.

 I repent if I once made the appearance of a person condemning one of them or their family for their actions and possible causes of the separation, it was only my objective external disagreement, points and thoughts aloud, nothing more rude, involved and inappropriate. And I think with many of my words said earlier (or the words of those I follow and reblog their posts) about the behavior of family/friends of Lili, Cole, and so on, people with brains and common sense could agree. Remember this, or write it on your forehead, so that the next time you write to me, you will see these words.

 Moving on, taking into account all of the above, I would like to tell you that it probably won't be enough for one blog to explain to you point by point all my beliefs and points of view on this subject, to prove to you that every fucking word you say is illogical shit and the most real nonsense. It feels like you're an alien who fell from another planet and decided to crawl into our hole with your impressions of a newborn baby who doesn't understand much about the world and its creators. Although in this case, I'm more of the opinion that you are a little asshole, in which the vein of hatred is boiling and you like to come to this and some other blogs to tell us your agenda although we have no idea where you have such rash thoughts, perhaps you have an extra chromosome? Dude, treat your paranoia.

 Further, given that I don't have much time and desire to describe all my points of view point by point, which, unlike your random set of words, really makes sense for hundreds or even thousands of people who have the gray matter to be able to think, I will attach my long - standing post, indicating all the facts at that time proving the opposite to yours. Although, I will try to supplement everything else as much as I can.

 While, we all ( I hope) already realized and accepted that for many reasons, during this quarantine, Lili and Cole had some problems, were distant and ended up apart for a certain period of time, immediately after the end point of the explosion and informing us of all these public actions on social media (I hope you understand), then after a few weeks, they were already confidently moving towards resolution and recovery and that's why:

https://babysprousehart.tumblr.com/post/618026656780648448/hello-i-hope-this-doesnt-come-off-negatively

This was written long before, but still has many valid points and I just want to widen some of them.

Take a sit and follow me word by word.

I shall start my addition of evidence, based on all the guesses and great opinions of others, as well as hints from the Lili and Cole themselves. I would like to start with a significant event and the day when Lili posted a photo from the Antelope Valley on April 28th, well, or 27th, depending on where you are.

Perhaps we lose some missing pieces in this puzzle and forget about something that was done earlier, but I just want to start counting from this moment.

A few facts about this photo/photos:

1) It was posted exactly 3 years later from their famous photoshoot, when very, very, very many people, mostly in media, began to suspect that there is something between them in a romantic way. It was exactly in the same place, exactly with the same style, exactly in a similar image (waving curly hair, light flying dress, black and white effect) and even without a capture. The picture marked the anniversary and is very important for the two of them. An undeniable fact, beat me.

2) That photo was definitely taken by Cole. Why?

Here are a couple more facts in addition to the first:

They have the quality of captured on professional camera.

You can see, that Lili did not tag the photographer and said jokingly that the photo was taken by Milo, why would she lie, or hide that it was anyone else, because clearly she just hid that because it was Cole.

You may have noticed that Austin, when asked who took the photo, whether she took it and whether she is a good photographer, says no and her reaction with a grin and laugh is priceless. She also didn't tag nor the photographer, neither Lili in her photos from there.

You can watch the vlog in the Colleen blog and see there are very similar figures to Cole, Lili and Milo walking along the valley, because, duh, they were there.

You can view her post, where you can see Cole from the back (notice his dark clothing, the same as on one of his post in the profile, which he has already deleted, as well as his position from which the photo of Lili was supposedly taken and it is just in the same place).

You can observe his style of photography and how similar the theme is to the photos from 2017.

You can see the same poppy behind his ear in one of the past stories.

You may have noticed that the photo of Lili is processed with the same effect as several photos in Cole's profile, and I can tell you as an amateur photo editor that it is very identical.

Question: why arrange such a significant photoshoot with your ex after a few weeks of separation? Why is Cole smiling in a photo (black and white one with a mustache and black clothes) probably taken there? Why is everything so secretive if they broke up? Why even post a photo that your ex-boyfriend definitely took? How can you calmly go to this place, which reminds you of your joint travels with your former lover? Therefore, this photo and later another one from there were the first iron arguments in confirming the improvement of things.

 I would like to continue with another ironclad proof.

Lili in early may very fiercely, after a few weeks of Cole's statements about slander and threats, which she did not respond to so clearly at the time, defended Cole and pointed out the private relationship and literally said that people should stop it and even though should hurt and bully her, but not him.

Question: did she defend her ex so publicly? Would Lili talk about a private relationship if that was the way her past relationship was most often? Would she have written anything at all if she didn't care about him and didn't feel something towards him? I don't think so, so it's gibberish to say so (about the break up) when it's the second unquestionable argument.

 Next, we need to talk about the general activity of Cole and Lili in social media. I just want to list some observations, in different order, but it seems like everything we have now:

If earlier it was visible in the posts of Lili that it was clearly a show off, then over time and after the published photos, she began to behave more sincerely and tenderly, began to publish Milo less, began to say that there was only the two of them less, has stopped showing how good she is without certain someone, as if for Cole showing that she could cope without him, which was visible in the posts and stories, she began to talk more about improving her mental health as a result of training, spoke about how later she was feeling better and that she was grateful for those who were with her and difficult times and in light moments, that you just need to live and enjoy.

Additionally, I can say how she shone with each photo, and it was a natural glow of happiness and settling down. She no longer sang sad songs or posted sad songs, on the contrary, posted sexy, funny and relaxed ones. She appeared more in photos taken by paparazzi. She posted sexy, energetic, romantic movies, funny cartoons, watched funny clips, was excited about her project, laughed, danced with her dog, played with a dog with macaroni, cosplayed Willy Wonka (we all have a feeling it’s Cole’s thing, no?), playing with sand, puzzles, posted funny memes in story, which unfortunately coolly accepted as the opposite, posted a poem with a typo and funny answered to a fan who corrected it, told more about poems and attached a photo with a fragment of a poem about love from her upcoming book. She liked some photos from the anniversary of the last episode of the series, where we remember there was a hot scene of her and Cole's character, she liked a Bughead drawing. Yesterday, she actually posted one of the sexiest videos that will not be posted, being single and lonely, we saw that she actually spent more personal time with Cole (I am not saying they weren’t doing t back then), which was investigated thanks to many amazing people here, and even if they don't live together yet, they are more likely to meet and have met with each other, and more hints on sexy times (because, come one, maybe Milo was the one who left a hickey on her neck, huh?), which is undeniable, just compare the fact that she is no longer in the old rental, and he is not in Kj's house, she then posted a photo from some place, which is very similar to where Cole shot a video with Jimmy Fallon.

 He also began to be more active in social networks, exactly after she started posting photos of the Antelope Valley, he posted a series of photos of the kissing couple, even if it was a gay drawings, they were filled with love, there was a photo of him with cattle with the sarcastic caption, then the photo about porn bots, with funny ask to leave him alone and saying it’s not allowed to be horny on quarantine, again a photo of himself with heart eyes that I talked about above, he posted a very funny video recently. There were more photos from the paparazzi after some time when Lili's usually flashed, and then it stopped, then his humorous photo in the washing machine appeared, which she probably had taken, and why so I explained in the attached post, he posted a photo from the walk, which was also probably taken with her, because again, she had a similar location, then he jokingly called Tommy ‘the’ muse, maybe roasting fans, but he didn’t use ‘my’, so, indicating he still has his own muse, then we saw him at that damn party, which caused people's panic, although he is an ordinary person and has the right to relax, and by the way at this party he was very happy and frisky, but nothing bad or shameful happened and he is innocent, then we even saw Cole, after Lili, delete many of the photos, although he had also unarchived some of them several times, as she had, which means that he did not delete them completely, but just removed many of them, leaving the most tender photo after or before the kiss at the famous moment when Lili wanted a toast and eggs at 1 am, or many photos reflecting her body, which also marks not a bad phenomenon, but a simple trolling from them. Proof of this trolling and unarchiving is on the vastness of other blogs and on Twitter, thanks to that girl's video.

 The way their condition and activity on social networks have changed is very noticeable and is also third undeniable fact of denial of the break up. You can compare photos of Cole taken by Alex, where he is clearly very sad and depressed, because it was taken somewhere in the interval of their real breakup. And compare this with his smiling and playful state during the interview with Jimmy, where he also sparkled with happiness and fun, constantly smiling and seemed to be aroused about something (or someone). I think even a newcomer will notice a change in their mood and attitude. You will see the difference. And this does not happen when going through the break up after 4 years of deeply imbued with love relationships. Please understand, damn it.

 I have listed alas not everything that speaks so vividly about things going in the right positive direction and is evidence that everything is getting better again, there will be only more I assure you and you will kiss my ass, as Cole said.

 Execution cannot be pardoned.

 You have one attempt to put a comma and decide your fate, but I think you’ll  fail because you are a total sucker anyway.

 Bye!

[originofjaehyun]

Interlude: No More Drama | Part 2 | Kick It

Interlude: No More Drama Masterlist

Word count: 2,796

Warnings: SMUT, EXPLICIT SMUT!! who mess up with my daughter agenda by Mark Lee

Part 2 | Kick it

“The new worlds that will spread in front of me will come into me as if I can grab them”

Prev • Next

The sound of Seojun’s shoes rapidly tapping the floor started to tick Hanbyul off.

“Do you mind?” Hanbyul said to him, in a sarcastic tone.

“What took her so long? All she needs to do was to grab a bag, I thought she said she’s already halfway done? Did she fucked with some–yeowch!!!” Seojun screamed, unable to finish his sentence due to the flying slap you landed on him.

“I don’t fuck around with just anyone Seojun, unlike you. I bet you told them that you would drive Soyou back just to get laid.”

“That hurts!” Seojun grunts, hurt from both your speech and your action. “It’s not my fault to start doubting you when you’re taking rendezvous upstairs… wait, you’re alone?”

You’re making sure nobody noticed that you just took a gulp before answering him, “If only our friends can take care of their libidos. Don’t expect Soojung and Yerim to come home with us, I bet they’re still making out upstairs. As for Junhoe… he’s always the odd one, isn’t he?”

You don’t even have to finish your sentence because all of them share the same sentiments, laughing especially at your last sentence. After giving them Soyou’s bag, you told them you’ll go upstairs again to grab your own. Hanbyul and Mingyu are ready to accompany you when you told them to just go back home. 

“I’m not a bitch, [Y/N], what kind of friend I am to let you go back there alone?! You even just told us that Junhoe is the odd one! Who knows what kind of thing he would do to you!”

“Pfft!” You replied with a dismissive attitude. “One, we all know Junhoe is all over the moon for Yerim. Second, you are equally as drunk as them. So be a good girl and just go home, ok? Mingyu, can you please be a gentleman and make sure my friend come back home in one piece?”

Hanbyul nags and nags but eventually give in after Mingyu starts to tell her that she’s actually taking your time. They said goodbye to you and while they walked towards Mingyu’s car, you make your way to the elevator. You pretended to wait for the elevator, and standing next to you was the man you just made out with. After you heard two cars, Seojun’s and Mingyu’s, respectively, passed by, you finally let go of a sigh of relief.

“Here,” He said while giving you your purse, in which you took while not making any eye contact with him.

You’ve never done this before. Lying to your best friend, specifically for something as big as this.

You don’t fuck around with just anyone, huh, [Y/N]?

You thought to yourself, slowly fidgeting on the chain of your purse, refusing to see him in the eyes. 

It is as if he knows you’re nervous, he asked you gently, “Hey, are you ok?”

And with that, you finally locked your gaze with him. The alcohol in your system has made you an emotional person, putting your feelings on your sleeve. Tears of wary started to form in your eyes, while you still trying to smile at Jaehyun. He can’t help but letting out a soft chuckle, dimples on full display, as he saw that you’re feeling very unsure with all of these. He stretched out his arms, asking you to embrace him in which you did. He hugs you tight, and you can smell his fine fragrance, like a jazz club. You can smell bourbon out of him (so that’s what he’s been drinking), mixed with hints of tobacco scent. It’s not even two hours in, but you oddly felt very comfortable in his clasp.

“I promise you, I’m not a serial killer or some sort.” He said while stroking your head, and starts to coyly cradle you. You giggled in return, looking up at him and finally made another eye contact.

“It’s just… I’ve never done anything like this before. I probably drank too much and we might regret this the next morning. Hell, why do you sound so trustworthy when I barely even know you?” You said while burying your face to his chest.

He laughs, but the soft tone that he owns changed almost instantly.

“Look at me.”

You flinched at the sound of his baritone, dominating voice. When you meet his eyes once more, his previous soft gaze is nowhere to be found. His brown eyes set into a darker shade, and that excites you, leaving a tingling sensation, making you wanting more.

“I don’t give a damn whether you’re experienced in this or not. What I can assure you is that I want you, and I know you want something more, too.” His deep, low voice invites you in.

“Let me introduce you to something new.”

Your body freezes, not out of fear, but out of gush of adrenaline that your body produces over each word that has left his mouth. You know he’s not forcing you, but he lures you and it’s working. You’re aware if you’re going to back out, this is your final chance and he would probably understand. Then again, it seems like running away was not an option. You can’t really explain it, but you just know.

You finally nods, followed by his smirked in triumph.

“Good,” he said, as he searched for his car key in his pocket. “Wait here, I’ll grab my car.”

He practically skipped his way, finding his way to where he parked his car. Feeling victorious.

And there goes your chance to run away from Jaehyun.

–

He definitely didn’t take his time to let you admire his apartment. He immediately searches for your lips, missing how it feels on his. You welcomed him, scrunching his hair and messing it up without any care in the world. You know he’s been exercising by the way his body feels when you made out at the elevator, but you didn’t realize how strong he was as he suddenly lifts you up and pushed you to the wall in the hallway. You clung over his neck, begging for more. His kisses became more and more animalistic, he desires you. You’re not sure whether you are intoxicated by the alcohol you guys have consumed, or because you’ve been consuming one another.

He finally separates his lips from yours, only to give you a sweet whisper, forehead rested on yours.

“You’re gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.” He hissed, continues to leave wet kisses on your jawline.

“Wait,” you stopped him from continuing while catching your breath.

“At least let’s do it in bed.” You’re asking him a favor. You opened your eyes, meeting his who’s currently indulging you.

Jaehyun does not feel like obeying other’s requests at the moment, he simply replies, “Not after what you’ve done to me, baby. I want you, and I want you now.”

He starts to grind his hips to yours, for you to feel his growing member. You welcomed his movements with a moan, only to excite him in return. The layers of clothes in between you guys surely in the way, but you can feel the firmness of his cock, making you moan in pleasure.

“Jaehyun, put me down.”

“I want to make you feel good too.”

For the first time in the night, he listens to you. You started to unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants to expose his shaft, stiff from all of the stimulations. The tip is bright red, glistening from his pre-cum as if it is a signal for you to kneel and start kissing his cock.

“Fuck,” he lets out a groan, only making you doing more.

“Who taught you this, baby girl? You like taking my cock in your mouth?”

Normally you wouldn’t like it when a man talking down a woman like that, however, all those words just dampen your underwear even more. 

You bob your head, occasionally let out a small gag sound as his cock reached your throat. Every time it does, his cock twitches, desperate as the walls in your mouth coil around him.

“Shit, [Y/N], you’re going to make me cum like this.”

“Then cum for me, baby.” You said to him as you continue to lick him.

After your approval, he becomes more ruthless with each of his thrusts. Your tongue dances inside, only making his moans louder. He curses and curses before letting a low groan, tilting his head back as the warm liquid starts to fill your mouth.

“Fuck, you’re so good at this.” He said while still holding your head, finally looking down at your direction. 

You sucked all the remaining cum before swallowing his seed, making him raise one of his eyebrows, impressed.

“I thought you never done anything like this, but you’re a swallower? Damn.”

You licked your lips, “It’s your fault for tasting so good, sir.”

You didn’t regret your choice of words. You know from the first time that Jaehyun loves to be in command. You know by making him the dominating one turns him on almost instantly. Igniting the beast inside him.

He pushes you, now both of you are on the floor. He begins to undress you, trailing every nook and crannies of your skin. His soft lips landed on your neck, and whenever his soft lips touch your skin, you can’t help but whimper in pleasure. He plucked every article of your clothing, leaving you only with the lacy black bra with matching black thongs.

“Fucking beautiful.” He murmurs. His hands found his way to your breast, pulling the fabric down and exposing your twin. Again, he praises your body like you’re a piece of art before helping himself and sucking your right breast, kneading your left.

“Oh God, fuck,” your moan started to mix with your heavy breathing. You’re gasping in pleasure, messing his hair as a sign that you beg for more.

“What is it, baby love?” He took a peek on you, teasing you hard while his lips are still busy playing with your nipple. “Do I make you feel good enough?”

You want more.

“More…” You said softly, all he did was to tease your breast but enough to make you drown in indulgence.

He suddenly bit your nipple. It took you off guarded, making you lose all of your reasoning as you arched your back.

“You gotta beg better, babe.” He said in a husky voice, you turning on because of him clearly turns him on too. Making his cock grows bigger. “Come on, beg for me.”

You yearn from him. You want him to fill your core.

“Fuck me, Jaehyun, please.”

He gave you a smug smile. You thought he’s going to fill you deeply, except that he lifted your hips up, making you rest on your shoulder.

“Not yet, baby girl,” he said while tugging your legs on his shoulder. “I’m not done prepping you yet.”

You jolted when you can feel him beginning to taste you. Your mind went blank. It’s like he’s been fasting for days and you are his first meal in a long while. The sound of him sucking you mixed with your love juices filled the room. He licks every inch of your fold, and your juices flow even harder when you felt his thick cock rubbing your back. You’re twitching inside, and he could sense that. He proceeds by entering both his two fingers into you and causes you to moan even harder, kicking the air mindlessly.

“Shit, [Y/N], you’re so wet.” He said while spreading your inside, making you racking your hip back and forth.

“Do you want me that much? You can already suck both of my fingers” “Yes, Jaehyun, yes!” “Tell me, what do you want me to do?” He said in a mocking tone, demanding an answer as his digits move even faster than how it already is.

“Oh God Jaehyun please fuck me, I want you inside me!”

He didn’t waste his time, ripping the condom he had on his pockets, swiftly putting it on his cock, finally entering you. As he slowly rips you open, you can’t help but to swear and continuously call his name.

“Fuck,” he lets out a low howl, “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Fuck, that feels so good.”

He continues to thrust deep into you. He pulls out his cock slowly, every time he does it is always followed by him entering you harder. You start to feel numb, feeling like Jaehyun is about to tip you into two. Each time his cock reaches your core, you feel the knot in your stomach begs to be untied. 

“Baby I’m close, fuck, Jaehyun, I’m about to cum.”

He moves closer, kissing your swollen lips sloppily, missing your touch. “Good. cum for me baby girl, I’m almost there too.”

His movement becomes rapid, repeating your name with strained grunts. You never got fucked like this before, you don’t know how he is able to make you undone with every thrust. As the walls from your pussy begin twitching, wrapping his cock, his pace becomes even wilder. “Fuck, Jaehyun, fuck!”

With his approval, you finally let go of your built orgasm. You’re on cloud nine, never know how pleasurable intercourse could give you. Your nails dig deep into Jaehyun’s skin, desperately holding onto him as your hips continuously flinched due to pleasure. You feel Jaehyun stalling inside you, giving you few thrusts as a signal for him finally spurting his cum inside, refusing to take his cock out even though he’s done.

“That was awesome.” You caressed his hair, trying to mend the mess you’ve made to his hair. You guys are both panting heavily while trying to catch your breath, with him holding your back making sure your skin does not touch the cold wooden floor. You can feel his ribcage breathes in and out, and now that you guys are touching skin-to-skin, you can feel how well-defined his abs are.

He finally looks at you and smiles, showing his signature dimples as he refuses to let you the connection you’ve made with him.

You tucked his bangs that cover his forehead, wanting to see all of his facial features. “One of my best one yet.”

He suddenly stares at you, quietly. He suddenly picks you up and carries you, while his cock still lingers inside you. You’re shocked by how his junior feels bigger again.

“Wait, you’re not done?”

The devilish smirk.

“What do you mean yet? I don’t think anyone else can make you feel this way except for me, [Y/N].” He said while lifting you up, forcing you to hold onto his neck while making sure he is still connected with you down there.

“W-wait! Jaehyun! I just cum!” You desperately negotiate with him, clearly because you’re still sensitive all over from the waves of your orgasm.

“Let’s go to bed.” He said while kissing your temples, breathing your scent that is now mixed the scent of your sweat. “It’s not enough. Hold on.”

“You’re going like this?! Jaehyun, wai-!!”

You’re unable to continue your speech as every step he made just thurst his cock even deeper to your core. You began to clenches, jolting at his every movement.

“Fuck, J-Jaehyun…” You shudder. “Take… it out…!” you meeked as you plea, panting at the side of his ears.

He grabbed your ass, mischievously squeezing it so it’ll send more pleasure to you. Your visions turn blur, drowns in him. 

“No,” He said while opening his room, “I don’t want to stop. Not tonight, baby girl. Oh, do you also realize that you’re twitching around me? Naughty girl, I know you want this too.”

He slumped you to his bed. You tried to finally catch your breath, already missing his presence inside you while he’s tying the used condom and took a new one from one of the cabinets on his side table. You finally had time to admire his apartment. It was clean, with no unnecessary items. It’s a very minimal room, you must say. Before you can scan the room even further, Jaehyun’s figure is already on top of you, ready to have more of you.

“Ah…!” You unintentionally let out a loud moan, when all he did was to spread your legs open, sliding his cock on your clit.

Grabbing one of your legs while the other hand supporting your back, Jaehyun looks at you, satisfied with the state of the mess you are. All because of him. He starts to grinds, cueing the beginning of another round.

“Baby don’t forget,” he then leans forward to kiss you, and then his hands start to moves, teasing your clit. “This is mine, all mine. Now, come into me.”

A/N: Did I cringed a bit when I wrote let me introduce you to a new thangs? I PROBABLY DID ASJNABJHBDJHS I’m not sure whether I’m good at writing smutty things but I tried guys honestly I have to close my laptop back and forth because I was very shy when I wrote this? lol anyway I hope you’ll appreciate the tiny lyric placements here and there lol this is so hard BUT WHEW at least it was hot on my head lollllllllllll

[flowerfan2]

Aversion

David x Patrick, 1500 words, A03 ***The first story in my new series of Schitt’s Creek Season 5 Episode codas.

Summary:  Instead of something useful like a sense of accomplishment, doing the ropes course leaves David with bad dreams.

David’s stomach is swooping, dropping out from under him.  There’s a rush of air on his face and he reaches with his hands, unable to get a grip, his fingers touching only empty space.  There’s nothing to hold on to, nothing to stop him from falling.  He can feel himself slip, and terror overwhelms him as he falls, down, down --

“David?  David, wake up.”

The voice cuts through David’s dream and he jerks and flails, this time colliding with Patrick’s strong arms instead of empty air.

“David, it’s all right.  You’re okay.  You were having a nightmare.”

This isn’t news to David �� he’s had this dream three times since Alexis made him do that stupid ropes course last week.  He had hoped that some breathtakingly good orgasms and falling asleep in Patrick’s arms would keep the dream away tonight, but he clearly underestimated the power of a nice old fashioned bad dream.  There’s a reason they feature so heavily in popular media.  Nightmares are the worst.

“David, open your eyes, it’s okay.” David forces himself to comply, focusing on Patrick’s voice and the feeling of his hands on his shoulders.  He hears the click of a light switch and squints his eyes open.  Blinking, he sees Patrick, his eyes wide with concern.  He looks away, tracking around the room, each mundane piece of furniture and old knick-knack reminding him that he’s at Ray’s house in Schitt’s Creek, not flying through the air.

“Hey,” Patrick says softly, and David’s eyes find his again.

“I’m fine,” David says reflexively.  Patrick ignores him, scooting closer and rubbing his arms and shoulders.  The touch grounds him, and he leans into it.

“Were you dreaming about the ropes course?”  Patrick asks.

“More or less.”

Patrick tilts his head in question, and David sighs.

“You’ve heard the whole sordid story now.  I don’t have the best experiences with heights.  Sometimes I dream about it, that’s all.”

David has in fact had vivid recurring nightmares about falling ever since the Anderson Cooper debacle, usually triggered by something reasonably related to heights.  There’s more than one reason that he doesn’t ski, on top of the horrible weather and incorrect clothing.

“I’m sorry your attempt to do something fun for us brought the dream back.”

“Yeah, well, whose fault is that?”  David says under his breath.  It’s his own damn brain that caused this problem.  Then something occurs to him and he brightens.  “Actually, I blame Alexis.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe she forgot about your fear of heights.”

<i>“Aversion,”</i> David reminds him, trying not to think about how pathetic he sounds.

“Shall we call her up and yell at her?”  Patrick pretends to reach for his phone, and David lets a smile escape.

“Maybe we’ll save it for the morning.  She probably turned her phone off.  Too busy with Ted’s smoothly running generator.”

Patrick snorts out a laugh and settles back down on the bed.  He holds an arm out to David, apparently expecting that things are resolved and David will be ready to be soothed back to sleep.  But while that sounds delightful, David can tell from the way his heart is still racing that sleep is not on the agenda right at this precise moment.

“I’m just going to go freshen up,” he says, ignoring Patrick’s look of confusion as he untangles his legs from the blankets and slides out of bed.  He shuts himself in Ray’s hallway bathroom and splashes some water on his face, taking deep breaths in and out, and trying not to think about dangling far above the ground.

As often happens, David’s nightmare has left him feeling overheated and shaky.  He’d like to take a shower and wrap himself in a fresh set of pajamas, but he only brought the ones he’s wearing.  He sits on the toilet seat and wills the adrenaline rushing through his body to calm the fuck down.

By the time Patrick knocks on the door, it’s far past time when he should have gone back to bed if he was anything resembling a normal person.

“David?  Can I do anything to help?”

David lets out a long breath and opens the door, hoping he looks more composed than he feels.  “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”  Patrick tilts his head back towards his room.  “I brought you something.”

David follows him back in and sits on the bed, taking the mug Patrick offers him.  It smells like cinnamon and sugar.  “What’s this?”

“Warm milk, with a little spice and vanilla.”  Patrick looks at him hopefully, so David pushes away his knee jerk reaction of “milk, ugh” and takes a sip.

Surprisingly – or maybe not, since Patrick made it for him – it’s delicious, and he says so.

Patrick smiles.  “Good.”

“Where’s yours?”  David asks.

Patrick shrugs.  “I figured we could share.”  He holds out his hand for the mug, and David gives it to him as he gets back into the bed.  Patrick joins him, and they pass the mug back and forth silently, taking small sips and sharing hesitant smiles.

“I really am impressed by what you did for us, David,” Patrick says, kissing a drop of milk off David’s lip.  “Even if Alexis tricked you into it.  That tree walk was hard.  Especially given your aversion.”  Patrick says this with genuine sincerity, not even quirking a lip.

“You said that already,” David says, deflecting.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure you heard me.”

It should be perfect and relaxing, all this attention and care, but David is just feeling more overheated and uncomfortable.  Finally he can’t stand it any longer, and shifts away from Patrick, pulling off his shirt and tossing it on the floor.  He’s too strung out to even bother putting it away, which is really saying something.

“Do you want to borrow a t-shirt?”  Patrick asks mildly.

“I’m fine,” David says, pulling the comforter up under his armpits, ignoring the way his skin prickles with goosebumps.

“I’m pretty sure you left your black sleep shirt here last weekend, if you’d like that.”

David’s desire to play it cool wars with his need to cover himself back up.  “The Ralph Lauren one?”

Patrick gets out of bed, leaving the mug on the nightstand, and goes to his drawers.  The shirt is produced, and David gratefully puts it on.  He really doesn’t like to sleep unclothed, especially not when Ray takes such a casual approach to the concept of personal space.

Patrick picks up the discarded shirt from the floor and folds it without saying a word.  Then he gets back into bed and slides one hand under his pillow, gazing at David fondly.  

“What?”  

“You could have just said, if you wanted to borrow a t-shirt.  My clothes might not be designer, but they’re not going to bite you.”

“I know that,” David says sulkily.

“Then why didn’t you-”

“Do we really need to pick apart my every insecurity right now?”  David is embarrassed at how squeaky his voice sounds, and even more at his outburst.  What is <i>wrong</i> with you, he thinks to himself.  

“No, of course not,” Patrick says, and David chooses to think of his tone as simply accommodating, not patronizing.  “I’m sorry.”

“No, fuck, I’m sorry,” David says, rolling to his side and grasping Patrick’s shoulder.  “I’m being an ass, you made me warm milk, you’re perfect, I don’t know how to do this.”  His words spill out and make no sense.

“Do what?”

“Be – together.”  <i>Not be a disaster,</I> David thinks.

“You’re doing fine,” Patrick says.  “I’m not perfect.  And you’re not either.  You don’t have to be.  It’s okay.”

“Is it, though?  I’m a mess,” David says, unable to keep his thoughts to himself.

“If people had to be perfect to be together, everyone would be alone.”

David knows Patrick is trying to reassure him, but it isn’t helping.  David doesn’t know what to say.  David is well aware of his imperfections, and they don’t lend themselves to happy endings.

“David, I don’t understand what’s wrong.”

David’s pretty sure he isn’t imagining the hint of impatience in Patrick’s voice.  Patrick likes to take care of David, but he also likes to think he’s in control of every situation.  And David’s emotional turmoil is pretty hard to control.  He needs to get a grip, now, or Patrick’s going to head for the hills sooner rather than later.

“I’m fine, I just need some sleep.  Thank you so much for the warm milk, baby.”  David leans close and presses a kiss to Patrick’s mouth, then plasters a smile on his face and wraps his arm around Patrick.

Patrick snuggles closer, and David forces himself to make his body relax.  Even if he isn’t going to be able to get back to sleep, he can shut the hell up and let Patrick get some rest.

After a few minutes, Patrick starts talking, a soft whisper into his ear.

“I’m not trying to make you tell me all your secrets, David.  You can keep things private.  We can talk about this as little or as much as you want to.  But I’m gonna do whatever I can to make you realize that when you’re ready, you can tell me.  You can say anything.  You’re safe here, David.  You’re safe with me.”

David digs his face into Patrick’s neck, overcome with emotion and trying hard not to cry.

“And for the record,” Patrick continues, a mischievous tone lightening his voice, “Ted may think he’s a smoothly running generator.  But you, David Rose, are a goddamn Ferrari.”

[wits-writing]

Ultraman Z Ep. 23: “Prelude to a Nightmare” (TV Review)

(Original Air Date: December 5, 2020, Director: Koichi Sakamoto, Writer: Kota Fukihara)

“Prelude to a Nightmare” is a title making a promise the latest episode of Ultraman Z manages to keep and then some.

The final three episodes of the season begin as the GAF debuts SAAG and their new signature weapon, Ultroid Zero, to the public. A perfect opportunity to demonstrate the weapon’s strength appearing in the form of five simultaneous giant monsters arising across the country at once to be dealt with by the machine and Ultraman Z.

[Full Review Under the Cut]

With everyone but Hebikura and Bako still working for the GAF in some capacity, this episode gives a further sense of what I discussed last time with regards to the dynamic Team STORAGE had. They’re all well suited to their positions; Haruki in security, Yuka in Monster Research, and Yoko piloting Ultroid Zero, but the spark they had as a unit is gone. Haruki and Yoko reflect on this as they share lunch together, each describing their current situation as boring even as they acknowledge the importance of them. Haruki’s spent his time pondering the words Hebikura left him with about “proving them wrong”, whether he can do that in his current position.  Not difficult to sympathize when it’s clear they’ve all been reduced to pure function within the GAF sans the sense of community at their jobs they had before.

There’s another level of discomfort all of them have with STORAGE being replaced by SAAG and its militarized approach to dealing with monsters. A foreboding sense permeates the cold open of the episode as it details the GAF’s press conference covering Ultroid Zero’s public reveal. The new robot’s positioned as humanity’s true hope and chance to surpass the Ultras that have visited Earth throughout the series, with Geed, Zero, and Ace cameoing as pictures during the press conference. Concerns about Ultroid Zero being equipped with the D4 Ray after the incident two episodes ago getting brushed aside by the assurance that this artificial Ultra can use it safely. Though safety is less of a priority for the members of the GAF pushing Ultroid than using it as a symbol of might. Insistence that Earth must be protected by humanity’s own strength at any cost gets brought up, an idea present in the series since episode 3 when the GAF Board witnessed STORAGE in action.

Though Yuka, watching the conference on livestream, comments that their real concern is only humanity’s well-being rather than Earth as a whole, especially with a weapon like D4 being shown to cause massive collateral to the environment. Her concerns prove correct as the activation of Ultroid Zero awakens five monsters at once that arrive to fight the threat to their existence. Like the D4 test before it, Ultroid Zero invites the escalation the GAF claims to be preparing the world against.

For as much as Ultroid Zero represents every wrong move the GAF (and by proxy humanity) are making in a chase for escalating strength, I do love how it looks. The shifting armor and steam vents remind me of Ultraman Geed’s Solid Burning form, one of my favorite Ultra suit designs ever. The rigidness of that armor in turn reflecting Ultroid’s artificial nature. It’s clearly a capable machine when we see it in action, especially with a pilot as capable as Yoko at the helm. Ultroid’s arsenal directly mimicking that of the Ultras, from forcefields to beams to sluggers.

D4 is the main thing unique to Ultroid Zero and allows the machine to do what the STORAGE robots rarely could, defeat the monsters of the week, even three against one. While there is clearly still some backfire as the D4 drains Ultroid Zero of all energy and collapses to the ground with an unconscious Yoko trapped inside, the GAF still celebrates creating a weapon to surpass Metal Gear, err… Ultraman. Especially pleased are Mai Yuki and the Celebro-possessed Director Kuriyama, muttering the alien parasite’s signature phrase “Karekareta” as whatever his plans appear to be going smoothly.

While the episode focuses more on Yoko and the suspect machinations of the GAF/Celebro, Haruki and Zett still get some solid contributions to the episode’s action to call their own as things ramp up. The feral monster threat awakened by Ultroid Zero’s presence starts off more spread out, so they go off to confront the two attacking the city docks. However, the monsters going full berserker under these circumstances leads to Zett being overwhelmed (same for Yoko in Ultroid Zero during her fight.) They manage to make it to the mountain-range where Yoko’s fighting the other monsters, further outnumbering the new robot. Ultraman Z eventually flying over to her location and stylishly dual wielding blades against the two monsters he was fighting. The fight draws to a standstill when whatever spell had come over the monsters wears off and they go back where they came, a relatively peaceful contrast to how Yoko’s fight ended on being forced to use the D4 Ray to disintegrate the other three monsters.

With all the monsters eliminated and Ultroid Zero inactive in the aftermath of using the D4, a figure who’s been lurking in the shadows with his own agenda finally makes himself known to Haruki and Zett. Jugglus Juggler revealing himself as Hebikura to our main hero, calling back all the way to episode two when he told Haruki to not just rely on his eyes.

One thing holds this back from being a perfect episode in my mind, Yoko explaining her backstory. The fact we’re only getting it three episodes from the end is frustrating enough, but what it does to her as a character is head tilting at best. She gives Haruki an explanation for why she demands to arm wrestle all the guy’s she knows, which is that her father, a former GAF officer himself, told her to “never marry a man weaker than you.” Which does potentially mean that Yoko’s resolution in the overarching story of the season will be in regard to whether she ends up in a relationship. It’s also pretty weak in comparison to the backstories we’ve been provided for Haruki and Yuka.

Between the massive cliffhanger and the conflict with the monsters trying to destroy Ultroid Zero before it can threaten them, we’ve taken more enthralling steps along this final leg of Ultraman Z’s storyline. With two episodes left, we’ll see what the crew behind the show has in store for Haruki now that his world’s been turned upside down by one of the people he trusted most.

If you like what you’ve read here, please like/reblog or share elsewhere online, follow me on Twitter (@WC_WIT), and consider throwing some support my way at either Ko-Fi.com or Patreon.com at the extension “/witswriting”

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

Justice Girl

I rewrote the first part I had already done and made a cohesive one shot instead of doing my usual of making one part and then forgetting about it :p

What if Hawk Moth had been quicker to get his first akuma?

WARNING: A bit salty, but I don’t think enough to be classified as outright “Salt”

-

“Many centuries ago, magic jewels bestowing extraordinary powers were created. These were... the Miraculous. Throughout history, heroes have used these jewels for the good of the human race. Two of these Miraculous are more powerful than the others; the earrings of the Ladybug, which provide the power of creation; and the ring of the Black Cat, which grants the power of destruction. According to legend, whoever controls both these jewels at the same time, will achieve absolute power.” The little butterly like creature know as Nooroo narrated, finishing in a sad tone. Remembering the other Kwamis always made him felt nostalgic, and sad at the idea that he might never see them ever again.

“I want that absolute power, Nooroo” replied the man, his now owner and holder. “I must have those Miraculous!”

“But nobody knows where these Miraculous are! It would be an incredible contrived coincidence if they are even in the same continent we are now!”

“I found you though, my little Nooroo.”

“Yes, in Tibet. We’re like a million kilometers away from that! Seriously there’s a fat chance you’ll…”

“ Your Miraculous... remind me of its powers again.”

“The Moth Brooch allows you to give someone their own superpowers and to make that person your devoted follower!”

“And when it comes to luring superheroes, what could be better than creating supervillains?”

“But master, the Miraculous are not meant to be used for evil purposes! Wouldn’t it be way easier if you use my powers to make a super hero healer to cure your wife from her Soap Opera Coma?”

“…. Where is the fun in that? I must have this absolute power! Your Miraculous is in my control! I am your master now, and you must obey me.”

“Aw, fuck… I mean, Yes, master” nodded Nooroo sadly, aware that he had landed on the hands of a drama queen supervillain. He even thought his wife was just an excuse for his super villain agenda. He saw how he put on the brooch, and wished if the man would have been as enthusiastic if his Miraculous had been a hair accessory or something more girly.

“Nooroo, dark wings! Rise!”  Nooroo went inside the brooch and Gabriel Abigail Agreste grew a foot taller, using the magic to transform himself. Apparently he had height issues. And a fetish for Luchador masks. “From this day on, I shall be known as... Hawk Moth!” he claimed, and then laughed evilly, despite being alone in the hideout. He made a mental note to tell Nathalie how well his first transformation had gone.

-

“Master, Master!” The little turtle like creature known as Wayzz woke up from a nap and immediately  panicked through his holder and current Guardian of the Miraculous Box of Creation and Destruction massage shop. Unfortunately, his master was with a client, and he almost got caught.

“Uh…  Master, master... chanting, it's all part of the treatment. Master, master... “ He made the customer stand up and pushed him out the door rather quickly. Thank goodness he gave his massages to fully clothed people or that might have been awkward.  “Thank you for coming, see you again next week!”

“Master, the Moth Miraculous, I felt its aura.”

“Damn, I forgot to charge him… Wait, what? I thought it had been lost forever!”

“You mean, you lost it forverer”

“Same difference. How did you feel it anyway?”

“Uh… But Master, it's a negative aura. I fear it may have gotten into the hands of a dark power!”

“You and your overdramatic ass… Someone probably found it at a flea market or something… either way, we must find Nooroo and his Miraculous. If it has gotten into the wrong hands, there's no telling what evil will come upon the world!” Master Fu raises his arm, in which Wayzz Miraculous rests.  “Time to transform! Wayzz... “

“… I’ll bring your medicine”

“ I'm only 186! But you're right, Wayzz. I can no longer do it alone. We'll need some help.!”

Fu opens the gramophone, revealing the Miraculous chest box

-

An alarm is off. The owner of said alarm hasn’t even made an attempt to turn it off. Typical teenager.

“Marinette!” yelled the teenager’s mom from downstairs.  “Your alarm's been going off for fifteen minutes! You're going to be late for your first day back at school!”

Marinette Dupain-Cheng, a normal life with a normal life, crawled out of underneath her bed covers, still half asleep. “Got it, Mom!” She turned the alarm off and went to prepare for class.

During her routine, she couldn’t help but get a bad feeling overall. She would return to class this morning, after an uneventful break. Uneventful, boring, friendless break.  It’s not that she didn’t try, but with Chloe Bourgeois as a classmate,  the bitchiest bitch that has ever lived, and herself as a constant target of her bullying, it was rather hard to stand up to her, not to mention everyone else just looked away, afraid what would she do if they ever dared to show kindness to her. She sighed, and hoped against hope that Chloe wouldn’t be her classmate this year.

-

Hawk Moth feels it, for the first time, someone else’s feelings. He had to compose himself at first to remember those are NOT his own feelings… Such strong feelings... the anxiety… the fear… the outright despair of a teenage girl who doesn’t want to go to school today. Somewhat cliché, he thinks, but beggars can’t be choosers, and once he focus on someone, as Nooroo explained, he can’t track anyone else.

He digs in the feelings. The more he does it, the less foreign it feels, the clearer he gets what’s the girl is feeling... what he is feeling. Another girl bullies her, and the teachers don’t do anything. She also doesn’t have any friends, not for lack of trying, but from fear of retaliation of the other mean girl… Even he starts to feel bad for the poor girl. But if everything goes according to his plan, this girl will get sweet revenge on the Mean Girl, and he will get the Miraculous… or at least confirm if they are somewhere nearby after all.

“Fly my little Akuma, and evilize her!”

-

Marinette was ready for the day. Or as ready as she could be, anyway. She sighed again.

“Coming!” she announced herself, walking down the stairs to the family kitchen, where her mom was waiting for her. “I bet you anything Chloe will be in my class again.”

“Four years in a row, is that possible?”

“Definitely. Lucky me!”

“Oh, don't say that! It's the start of a new year. I'm sure everything will be just fine!”

Marinette smiled and nodded, trying to put on a brave face for her mom, and setting down the cereal. Several things are knocked over, spilling and falling to the floor. She groans.

After cleaning up and finally getting breakfast, both of them go downstairs, where the family business is located, a bakery. They find Tom, Marinette’s dad, singing while preparing a box of macaroons.

“Dad, these are so awesome!”

“Glad you like them.”

“Thank you Dad, my class will love them! You're the best!”

“We're the best, thanks to your amazing designs.”

Marinette hugged her dad, dropping the box. Fortunately, he caught it on his terribly huge foot and gives it back to her

“Thanks.” Marinette gets her backpack from her mom and with the box of macaroons, she says goodbye.

Marinette then tried to cross the street, but a car passes by and prevents her from it. She remembers her bad luck… and the possibility that Chloe will be her classmate and make her year miserable. Again.

Without paying attention to it, a little butterfly got inside her purse. OR rather, the butterfly fused with her purse, turning it a dark purple color, and made it look more like it was made of shadows.

“Hello, I am Hawk Moth” said the villain after his Akuma flied into Marinette’s purse. “You have suffered enough at the hands of that bully girl. You have suffered because no one had come to your rescue, not your classmates, not your teacher, not even your parents. But you’re not alone anymore, I offer you my powers. I offer you to make Justice for yourself, and to help everyone else, so no one has to felt like you did. Do you accept?”

Marinette dropped the box of macaroons, and didn’t notice an old man on the other side of the street clearly panicking when he saw her saying “I accept”

And she transformed. Marinette Dupain-Cheng was no longer, replaced by… a super hero. Justice Girl was her name now, her normal clothes replaced by a (somewhat tacky) super hero costume. She was wearing a domino mask that was supposed to hide her identity, although a lot of people just saw her transform in the creepiest of ways.

She then smiled, and went flying to the school (Which people later thought it was hella dramatic of her, as the school was basically in front of them).

She was sure she could find Chloe

She was sure she could make Chloe pay.

-

“Nino, Why don't you have a seat in the front row this year?”

Miss Bustier, the kind and kind of pushover teacher asked a boy hanging in the back row, minding his own business. Without saying a word, the boy complied and took a seat at the front.

“You better treat Adrien right, Lahiffe” he heard someone said to him. He looked at the girl, who took a seat in the bench behind him. Chloe Bourgeois, resident Queen Bitch. He didn’t like her, but also didn’t want to get on her bad side, as he knew that would be trouble.

“Who?”

Chloe looked at him in disbelief, and let out a haughty laugh. Her sidekick, Sabrina, who was sitting beside her, followed her example.

“Can you believe he doesn't know who Adrien is? What rock have you been living under?”

“He's only a famous model” replied Sabrina, just as haughty as Chloe.

“And I am his best friend. He adores me.”

If this Adrien was Chloe’s friend, Nino could help but hate his guts, and dread to be his benchmate for the rest of the year.

“Has everyone found a seat?” asked the teacher, ignoring Chloe’s bitchiness despite it happening literally in front of her. “For those of you who don't yet know me, I'm Miss Bustier. I'll be your teacher this year.”

“Ugh, he should have been here by now.”

No one seemed to notice that Marinette hadn’t arrived yet either.  The door suddenly opened, kicked by Justice Girl. She got inside the classroom and smiled in a creepy way.

“Oh, but I am here!” she smiled. Everyone looked at her, first in shock at the door being kicked, then in confusion. None of them seemed to realize she was Marinette, even if all she had was different clothes and a mask.

“Excuse me miss” Miss Bustier tried to confront her. “I think you have the wrong classroom”

“No, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be” she looked at the whole classroom, and immediately noticed that Chloe wasn’t in her regular seat, but instead had decided to take a claim on her. “I have come to make her pay for her crimes.” She said, pointing an accusatory finger at Chloe.

“And who are you supposed to be?” Asked Alya, the only one who wasn’t as confused (and afraid) as the rest of the class.

“I’m Justice Girl”

-

Outside the school, Adrien Abigail Agreste, Teen Model, was having his own battle.

“Adrien, please reconsider! You know what your father wants!” asked a very worried woman, his father personal assistant that also took care of Adrien’s schedule.

“Sucks to be him then, this is what I wanna do!” He said, running to the school’s entrance. He knew he would be in trouble the second his father learned that he was attending public school, but he also knew that it would look very bad if he pulled him from school after being seen by everyone there. Not to mention the temper tantrum Chloe, his childhood friend would throw.

Luckily for him, Chloe had already told him his classroom and schedule, and how to get here.

He had seen a lot of anime and manga and movies and obviously he didn’t expected them to burst into song (Although he hoped so with all his heart, brain, kidneys and assorted internal organs).

“Sorry I’m late I…” he said after entering the classroom.

He wasn’t prepared for this.

All his classmates were in the back, he could only see a couple of guys and a tiny pink haired girl. Everyone else was trying to hide behind them. On the front, what he supposed was their teacher had her hands on her head, as if she had a migraine.. He took a second to notice, but recoiled when he noticed that her eyes were wide open, but she was no pupils. Her eyes were a deep purple, and in one of her wrists, she was wearing a bracelet, which gave him a bad vibe. In front of him, three girls stood. Chloe was behind a girl with glasses that he didn’t know, and another girl was in front of them, looking like she just came from an anime convention.

He was pretty sure there were no anime conventions, otherwise he would have gone (Disguised, of course.).

He then noticed the anime girl was floating a few inches above the ground.

“I don’t care that you fancy yourself a super hero” said the girl with glasses. Adrien assumed she was protecting Chloe. Or knowing Chloe, she was being used as a human shield. Probably a bit of both. “This is wrong!”

“You must be new here.” The hero said, looking at the girl with glasses. “She’s a criminal. A Bully.”

“Name’s Alya, nice to meet you”

“Likewise”

“Still, Superheroes shouldn’t be jury, judge and executioner”

“This girl’s father is the mayor of Paris. She has everyone wrapped around her little finger. Students fear her. Teachers can’t do anything about her. Believe me; I’m doing everyone a favor.”

“Have you seen everyone?” said Alya, gesturing to her new classmates, who were still cowering. “IF she’s a bully, you’re no better than her”

Justice Girl looked at the others… sad?

“And look what you did to our teacher! Did she deserve that too?”

Justice Girl looked at Miss Bustier. Unlike with her classmates, she just cocked her head, almost in confusion.

“Actually, my power makes people feel how their crimes have made other people feel. This teacher’s inaction hasn’t made anyone any favors.”

“SHUT UP! She’s the best teacher ever!”

Justice Girl looked surprised. It had been Chloe who talked. And it sounded sincere.  She smirked. Of course Chloe would like the teacher who gave her free rein. Of course Chloe would like the teacher who allowed her to bully and mistreat and make everyone miserable without any sort of punishment.

“We all hurt other people, even when we don’t mean to. You are hurting all of us” said Adrien finally.  Justice Girl turned around to see the newcomer.

“Adrikins!” yelled Chloe, still behind Alya. “Don’t get any closer, she’s crazy!”

“Another new one? Beware of Chloe. She’s the worst.”

“AM NOT!”

“I know Chloe can be a handful…”

“Hey!”

“But she has a good heart!”

Justice Girl laughed.

“You don’t know her at all.” She said to Adrien, matter-of-factly. She then faced Alya again. “And why are you protecting her? You don’t even know her!”

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing” said Alya solemnly. Justice Girl raised an eyebrow. “Well, girl, you are literally terrorizing a bunch of teens, ergo, you’re evil, and I like to think I am good, so I can’t let you get away with this.”

Justice Girl raised her arm, giving Alya and the rest a start. Adrien bravely jumped in front of them (Later, people would point out that it would have been easier to tackle Justice Girl instead of trying to perform a heroic sacrifice).

Justice Girl recalled the bracelet on Miss Bustier. It went inside the bag on her hip.

“You have given me a lot to think about, Alya. I applaud and respect your conviction, even if I don’t agree with it.”

She bowed to Alya, who awkwardly bowed back.

“You too Adrikins, but don’t go performing heroic sacrifices for others… especially when they’re no necessary.”

“Duly noted” replied Adrien from the ground, were he landed face flat.

She floated higher in the air, and went out through the window, shattering it.

“… Why she didn’t use the door?”

-

“Justice Girl” She could hear Hawk Moth on her head, just like before. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to…”

The girl in question was helping an elderly woman cross the street, carrying her groceries. After reaching her house, the old lady gave her a croissant. It was good.

“I’m doing some hero-ing” she said, and then she spotted a kitty stuck in a tree, and went to rescue it.

“That’s not… WHY aren’t you attacking that mean girl?”

“Because I would be a villain if I attacked her unprovoked” Replied the girl, while helping a man change his flat tire.

“What”

“Don’t worry, she will attack me sooner than later… but not like this”

She went to the school again, and entered through an open window in the locker room. She tapped her hip bag that had become her purse, and all the energy of the transformation went inside it. She was Marinette again.

“What… How did you…?”

“You made me a super hero, didn’t you?” she said, walking out of the locker room. “And super heroes have secret identities”

Hawk Moth was annoyed. He detrasnformed and looked at his Kwami. As long as this girl held his akuma, he wouldn’t be able to create another one.

All his plans ruined, before they even started, all because he decided to use his powers in a girl who wanted Justice.

-

-

Yeah, I’m not 100% satisfied with my drawing, but that’s the basic concept. I only used olors that were already on Marinette’s palette, and her symbol is one of her flowers (Which obviously no one will recognize).

I tried to give her a bit of a chinese flair, but still make it a silly super hero costume, hence the half cape. 

I might add more colors/details if I draw her again, but for now I’m happy. 

Feel free to make suggestions headcanons of this oneshot!

[wanna-b-poet31]

Gabriel: He Hath Turn'd A Heaven Unto Hell

I felt like clarifying my earlier Meta on Gabriel’s Gaslighting in Good Omens. 

So like, we know that Gabriel is a dick but what makes him worse (and abusive), is how he uses his position of privilege and power over Aziraphale. 

Even though I’ve read some amazing metas that assert Aziraphale would be canonically higher ranked than the archangels, the bureaucracy favors Gabriel. While Aziraphale may have been given troops to command and a garden to protect, Michael refers to Gabriel’s choices when confronting the evidence against Aziraphale for his demonic “boyfriend”, Sandalphon allows Gabriel to direct the “surprise” meeting in the bookshop, and Gabriel appears at the airfield, in a position equal to Beelzebub, Prince of Hell.  So even if it isn’t a God-ordained position of power, he clearly is treated as the authority figure over Heaven. 

His abuse is rooted in the desire to gain and maintain power and control over Aziraphale. And like real talk, Show!Gabriel is sickeningly effective at emotionally abusing Aziraphale, and his most insidious tool is gaslighting.

Broadly, what I mean is that Gabriel is (trying to) reshape Aziraphale’s perception of reality using techniques like: 

pretending not to understand why Aziraphale is so worried about being unable to stop the war (Withholding); 

purposefully making Aziraphale’s feelings/interests feel insignificant (Trivializing); 

Changing topics when Aziraphale starts to question his or Heaven’s motives for the war(Diverting); 

Forgetting or denying events that have previously happened (Denial)

Purposefully questioning the victim’s memory/even despite knowing their account of events to be true (Countering)

Gaslighting IS abuse. Full Stop.

Although it can masquerade as genuine confusion or concern, the National Domestic Violence Hotline reminds us how over time, these abusive patterns of behaviors lead to a victim who “can become confused, anxious, isolated and depressed while losing all sense of what is actually happening. Then, the victim may start relying on the abusive partner more and more to define reality, which creates a very difficult situation to escape”

Affect on Aziraphale

Because? Honestly? Gabriel’s behavior is not nice, or innocent.  

Who here can honestly say that Aziraphale doesn’t constantly second-guess himself? And that he doesn’t have trouble making decisions?

Or ask himself if he’s too sensitive? too soft?

Maybe that he’s confused, or crazy? That he has to apologize for Heaven/Gabriel’s behavior to friends? That he feels like he has to withhold information to avoid making excuses or explaining Heaven/Gabriel’s behavior?

Does anyone think he’s happy despite apparently “good” things happening for angels? That he should feel happier for his circumstances?  Or that he knows something is terribly wrong, but unable to express what it is? To Gabriel? To God? To Crowley? Even To himself? 

We already know he uses lying as a coping mechanism to avoid put-downs!  And When he’s away from Heaven he’s a radically different person. That he’s more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed when away from his abusers. 

He’s absolutely joyless around Gabriel, 

and been made to feel he can’t do anything right. 

These are all the symptoms of being gaslit (gaslighted?), and it takes a heavy psychological toll on Aziraphale’s mental health.

He is being controlled. 

Through gaslighting, Gabriel can control Aziraphale’s perception of reality and consequently control his actions. 

Gabriel’s Guilting Pleasure

Gabriel cares about humanity about as much as one cares about their obligatory dental appointment. They do it, sure, but through requirement, and clinical distance. He doesn’t choose to love humanity, he chooses to manage Humanity. He chooses to treat them like cattle: to be kept in a pen [earth], kept for slaughter. He yearns for control, and that control extends to the angels who depend on him for leadership. 

Contrast that with how Aziraphale >and Crowely< who unabashedly choose to love humanity. 

Aziraphale is, at heart, a lover of food. He finds genuine joy and pleasure from eating, and in many ways, it’s an intimate part of who Aziraphale IS. It’s not that Aziraphale is a glutton, but it sparks joy in him.

Crowley clearly takes note of this, and on more than one occasion has gone out of his way to eat with him.  Book!Crowley explicitly shares food with Aziraphale, purposefully ordering desserts that his angel can steal bites.  It’s tender, it’s sweet, and it clearly shows the mutual respect the two share.

When unconstrained by the bounds of Heaven, we can see in the above GIF, just how relaxed Aziraphale can be. He has a soft calm smile, unafraid features. and a body language that to me communicates the feeling of safety.  This is an entity who unabashedly happy, but not just about Sushi.  He has a semblance of freedom here.

But, the scene abruptly changes when a Wild Gabriel appears! 

Aziraphale goes from relaxed, care-free, to tense in 0.01 seconds. Once he finishes *appreciating the sushi* there’s a magical jingling sound, Aziraphale almost instinctually turns left because Crowley is always on his left, and Gabriel’s face greets him in the mirror. 

We have a few precious seconds where we can see Aziraphale’s face journey: relax joy turns to expectant smile:

Look at the crinkled eyes, the flared nostrils, the look of joy. He’s clearly expecting pleasant company to join him.  

In the below gif, we get a slice of the impact of Gabriel’s control.  Once it’s revealed to be Gabriel, not Crowley, who asks to join him, his entire face falls. Notice how the smile is long gone, and his glance at the food is hesitant like he’s doing something wrong by being there.  

Gabriel then asks: “Why do you consume that? You’re an angel” with palatable judgment. Mean, but harmless right?

No. 

Aziraphale instantly starts making excuses, hiding an integral part of who he is, because he is trying to avoid the inevitable ridicule from someone who is supposed to support him and love him unconditionally.  

Gabriel is asking a question that he can infer an answer from: that either Aziraphale deems eating necessary, or he enjoys doing it. He’s feigning forgetfulness and calling Aziraphale’s choices into question. 

Further, by bringing attention to the “you’re an angel” Gabriel is drawing a line in the sand, defining that to be an Angel, at least a good angel, you can’t eat, lest they “desecrate” their holiness.  You can see Aziraphale’s face IMMEDIATELY fall.

We, the audience, can see this is untrue. There’s no reason to believe food is harmful to supernatural entities, and more importantly, it brings so much unbridled JOY to Aziraphale. So why point it out? Why deliberately trivialize our favorite Angel’s feelings like that?

Control.

Trivializing Aziraphale’s passions allow him to impose his own agenda. 

Gaslighting the War

Okay, so Aziraphale lies ALOT, but we know for a fact that he’s told Gabriel his intentions to try stopping the war. Several times. Over the course of 11 years. It should be no surprise to Gabriel that Aziraphale has a singular goal: saving humanity. 

Although Aziraphale conveniently forgets to mention Crowley’s role in helping prevent the war, Gabriel knows the general gist of Aziraphale’s plan to “prevent” the war. Aziraphale has made his intentions excruciatingly clear. 

However, besides blatantly lying to him about Heaven’s position on saving the world, he trivializes the very real concerns Aziraphale poses. It’s not just that he thinks Aziraphale can’t stop the war, it’s that Gabriel deliberately misleads him. Aziraphale up until the end of Episode 4, firmly believes his “side” will sanction the salvation of humanity. And Gabriel specifically strings him along, letting our angel believe that if he successfully climbs his mountain, he would be accepted by Heaven. (He’s not)

Then, in the above GIF, he dismisses Aziraphale’s transparent, clear plea for help.

CONTEXT: This is how Episode 4 opens. Aziraphale has found the Anti-Christ, met and rejected Crowley’s offer to fly off to Alpha Centauri at the Bandstand, told the love of his life his best friend that he doesn’t even like him and is in full out freak mode. Then, apropos of nothing “runs” into Gabriel and is in dire need of support to stop the end of the world. He NEEDS a lifeline, now that he thinks Crowley is fleeing Earth, never to see him again.

He firmly asserts that humanity is worth saving and that they COULD do it, (they’re Heavenly after all), but Gabriel does not give a single flying fuck about Aziraphale’s feelings.

Instead of answering Aziraphale’s prayers, Gabriel reinforces his own interests (see: the never-ending war) and changes the conversation to focus Aziraphale’s “gut”. The glance in the below GIF is unnervingly condescending.

Look at how “disappointed” Gabriel appears glancing up to meet Aziraphale’s eyes before pointedly looking to Aziraphale’s belly. It is if, with his eyes, Gabriel is insinuating Aziraphale’s appearance is a personal failing and a somehow more important problem than stopping the end of the world.

The pivot from Aziraphale plea “we need to stop the end of the world” to “you’ need to lose the gut” is classic “Diverting” from the situation. It deflects from his own manipulative behavior and leaves Aziraphale to constantly second-guess himself. It puts the power squarely in Gabriel’s hands because the topic is no longer rooted in Aziraphale’s valid concerns or feelings.

Gabriel leaves the scene, with a visibly distraught Aziraphale and, we hear Azirgaphale say he’s soft, in a hopeless, joyless voice that’s full of self-doubt.  It’s a heartbreaking moment because of how powerless Gabriel has made him feel. 

He has no support system.

However, Gabriel’s gaslighting comes to a head once Aziraphale is pushed passed his breaking point.

Aziraphale Want(s) To Break Free

Gabriel doesn’t encounter Aziraphale again until after the armageddon has been thoroughly avoided (read: Aziraphale’s concerns have been validated, he’s taken steps to address his issues, and he’s reformed relationships with people his abuser pushed him to second-guess).

When Gabriel reappears, he has every reason to believe that his gaslighting will work to “control” Aziraphale. Because, while he may now be aware of Aziraphale’s friendship with Crowley, abusers will do anything to get the desired power dynamic (with them controlling all of it, and the victim none), and why abandon his most effective tool?

So he tells Aziraphale to shut up, presuming he can still control Aziraphale. That Aziraphale’s inclusion is not just unneeded, but unwanted. 

Just one thing though, Aziraphale defies his abuser. 

It’s HIS turn to start questioning Gabriel’s grasp of reality. To buck against not just the system, but the authority figure who has constantly been belittling and gaslighting him. 

Why? What changes?

Crowley.

Crowley absolutely does not gaslight Aziraphale. Instead, he seeks to understand and validate his Angel’s concerns. Sure, occasionally they’ll fight, or push each other’s buttons, but Crowley never tries to manipulate of control Aziraphale. He remembers and encourages Aziraphale’s passions, actively seeks to participate in joint interests, and the sole act of saving Aziraphale’s books because he knows just how damn important those books are to his angel.

He’ll even go as far as to prioritize Aziraphale’s needs/comfort above his own.  Is Aziraphale chained in a prison during the Reign of Terror? Sure, let’s just appear to rescue him. Aziraphale is getting double-crossed by Nazi bastards? Let’s just put ourselves in danger and walk on the consecrated ground and be to rescue him and his books.

It would be a bit of an understatement to say that Crowley cares about Aziraphale and wants to promote his wellbeing.

At the Airfield, Gabriel has never interacted with Aziraphale with Crowley around (deleted scenes notwithstanding) and able to support him. But Crowley isn’t just there, he steps up, beside Adam, besides Aziraphale and affirms Aziraphale’s sense of reality. No, he’s not crazy, and his question IS valid. 

The simple act of having a support system there definitely boosts Aziraphale’s confidence and gives him the strength to make an actual choice.

Intervene.

He chooses to walk up to Beelzebub and Gabriel and ask, if they are sure of their reality, because, now Aziraphale sure as hell is. He knows where he stands and who he stands with.  

He is no longer under Gabriel’s control.

Never before has Aziraphale had a single honest choice. Sure, he made the choice to enter the “arrangement” with Crowley, to raise the (wrong) anti-christ, to lie to God. But these choices are rooted in self-preservation and self-defense.  Also, he’s not transparent about these choices to Gabriel.

Once Armageddon is averted, and Aziraphale’s chosen to side with Crowley, to jump out of Heaven if need be for humanity, there is very little holding Aziraphale back. And, Aziraphale is finally being lifted up.

Gabriel tries to intimidate Aziraphale into submission, to tell him the questions he’s asking are insignificant, and that his opinion doesn’t matter. But, Aziraphale no longer is blind to the gaslighting, and pushes on. Crowley, in turn, backs him up and they support each other (and Adam) as they defy their respective abusers.

TLDR: Really, Please, Fuck Off Gabriel

Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk

[telli1206]

A Christmas To Remember (Ch.4)

@vndooms @descendantsgiftexchange And here’s Chapter 4 😁 One Chapter left, which I hope to have up in a few days.

Chapter 1     Chapter 2     Chapter 3

Chapter 4 - Falling For Christmas

Jay grunts softly, his eyes fluttering open at the intrusive sounds echoing from downstairs. He had resolved himself to sleeping in with Carlos this morning, so of course there would be a ruckus to ruin his first solid sleep this week.

He sighs, glancing down at the boy cradled in his arms. Carlos is settled peacefully against Jay’s chest, even breaths gently ghosting through his pretty pink lips.

Jay snuggles in closer, hugging Carlos tightly to his chest to fully enjoy this restful moment. It’s almost too tempting to just stay here for the day and not move a muscle, but before he can even really entertain the idea he hears a familiar snarky cackle ring out from downstairs.

He bites back a smile, sliding out of bed all too quickly and almost stumbling over his feet, waking Carlos with his movements. The boy next to him pops up, looking surprised to see Jay awake.

“W-What...are you doing?” He yawns, propping himself up on his elbows. Jay smiles at Carlos’ adorable sleepy face, unable to resist leaning over for a kiss. But once he’s back over the bed, Carlos takes the opportunity to grab Jay and press his hands into his back, trying his best to pull him back into the bed.

“Mmph! ‘Los!” Jay resists, pushing back from the bed. “Ben and Mal just got here!”

Jay springs backward when Carlos releases his hold and sits upright. An excited smile splays on his lips, and he drops out of bed to join Jay and get ready quickly. In record time they’re making their way down to the kitchen together.

The kitchen is erupt with laughter when they walk in. Ben, Mal, Evie, and Doug are sat around the table with Lonnie as she animatedly tells the story of her and Jane, again, while Jane sits in her lap, giggling happily. Ben and Mal are clearly absorbed in the story, Mal nodding her approval and Ben glowing his usual reassuring smile while they listen to Lonnie.

“That’s so cool you guys decided to give it a shot,” Mal mused, giving Lonnie a pleased smirk as she turned to nuzzle Jane’s neck. “Like, you got to be such close friends for so long before you dated. That must’ve made things just, so much...better. Huh?”

Lonnie seems speechless, for once, simply grinning at Jane while she nods vigorously at Mal.

“Isn’t that right, Jay?”

Jay chokes back a chuckle. Mal’s not even looking at him yet, but he knows that smug grin is meant for him. She turns slowly, flashing the grin his way as her eyes trail from Jay to Carlos and back. Carlos buries his face in Jay’s shoulder to hide his reddening complexion.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s great. Thanks Mals, good to see you too.” His eyes never leave Mal’s as he returns her smirk, letting go of Carlos to stride over to her and swoop her up into a hug. “Missed you, M.”

Mal leans into the hug with a smile. “Missed you too, Jay. I’m glad Ben could finagle at least a couple of days off for us,” she teases, stealing a glance over to her husband.

Ben’s already engulfed in a hug with Carlos, but he pulls away and quirks a smile Mal’s way.

“I did my best,” he concedes with a shrug. “I know it’s not much, but the royal court is fully adjourned at least, so we shouldn’t have any disruptions for the next couple of days.”

“Shouldn’t, being the key word,” Mal needles, poking at Ben’s chest. He scoffs at her snide comment though, sneaking a quick peck from her before running off to grab more coffee.

“Well, I for one am glad you’re finally here,” Evie says with a squeal, smiling brightly as she leans into Doug, looking over his shoulder at Jay. “Jay has been our Christmas activity coordinator all week, and you’ve been missing out on all the fun!”

“Oh! Oh! Yessss! It’s been so fun!” Lonnie agrees, eyes alight with excitement. “Jay’s got all the great ideas. Like, Christmasy stuff but super fun and exciting. Never a dull moment!”

The murmurs and nods of universal agreement have Jay swelling proudly, puffing up his chest as he smiles around the kitchen.

Once he catches the look on his boyfriend’s face, however, he physically deflates.

Carlos is chewing on his bottom lip, eyes cast downward as he scuffs at his foot. Jay observes him, silently, until he hears Doug clearing his throat.

“Anyway, what’s on the agenda for today, Jay? Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be great to have Ben and Mal joining us!”

Evie grips Doug’s arm, eyes wide and focused in a silent thank you as he places a hand over hers. Jay sucks in a slow, stuttered breath, forcing a smile at them and silently promising to pry about what’s bothering Carlos later. Besides, he saved the best for last, for when Ben and Mal arrived, so Jay has no doubt that everyone will have fun today, especially Carlos.

“Well, why don’t we go find out? We’ve all gotta dress warm again…” he adds, talking over a few groans at the request. “It’ll be worth it! I know it.”

-----

Getting everyone dressed and out the door was a lot easier this time around. Jay likes to think that all of his surprises have been so fun that no one feels the need to question why they always have to go outside, but deep down he knows that Ben and Mal’s presence have more to do with it than anything. Ben is always willing to join his friends without question, and Mal has been hyping up their day so much that Jay’s really starting to wonder about her. Mal’s not the...cheerleader type. But he can’t think of another word to describe how she’s acting right now.

“Jay-bear, I think I figured out where we’re goooing,” she coos.

“Oh, did you now?” Jay quips, trying to glance quickly behind him. He knows she’s grinning, but their banter just doesn’t feel right if he can’t match his arrogant looks to hers.

“Yep, and I’m pumped.” She grabs Ben’s arm excitedly and stares out the window as they arrive. Jay’s pulling up to the lake now, fully frozen over and empty, with a fresh dusting of snow on top that’s been left untouched.

“Ice skating??” Lonnie practically shouts, jumping up from her seat in the car. “Yes! Let’s do it! I love it!”

Jay lips curl into a smile at the warm response to his plans. Even Carlos reaches over to intertwine their fingers and flash a happy grin. Well, a sort of persed, tight-lipped grin with a slight hesitation behind his deep brown eyes, but Jay pushes away the need to address it, yet. They only just got here, so there’s plenty of time to warm up to the idea still. And all their friends are here, so what’s not to love about this?

The sounds of excited chatter and elation as skates are being put on heartens Jay. Even Evie cheery smile stays put through the wobbling on her skates, and the mild offhand complaint about them not matching her outfit. Jane is giggling with every step, emulating a newborn foal with the ways her knees are knocking, but still eager and ready to get on the ice.

Carlos is not much sturdier than Jane on his own skates, but Jay keeps a firm grip on his waist and elbow as they walk, and despite a few harrowing teeters on his blades, Carlos glides onto the ice with surprising ease. Definitely a better start to their outings than previous days, and enough to stir a glimmer of happiness inside Jay as he and Carlos fall in sync on the ice together.

Of course, Lonnie still tries to stir up trouble by flying by them on the ice with Jane and getting a little too close , but even with that close brush Carlos manages to stay upright, maybe just holding Jay’s arm a little tighter.

He heaves a sigh of relief once they pass, and Lonnie throws a wink to Jay over her shoulder.

“We’re racing later Jay, you better be up for it!”

“You’re on!” Jay shouts back. He shrugs when Carlos shoots him a troubled glare, but once he squeezes Carlos’ hip and smiles reassuringly, he gives in with a resigned sigh.

“Don’t worry, I won’t leave you skating alone. Maybe you and Jane can keep each other...up?” Jay grits his teeth, biting back laughter at the thought.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Carlos quips, bumping him on the shoulder. “I was more worried about your dumbass racing yourself into a tree or something. You and Lonnie aren’t exactly...thoughtful, when you challenge each other.”

Jay chuckles, turning their bodies to ease around a bend in the lake. “I’ll be careful, ‘Los. You know you can trust me.”

Carlos nods silently, choosing to lean into Jay rather than respond, which Jay is fine with. He’s content to enjoy this time with Carlos before their friends disrupt them, which usually happens all too soon anyway.

Especially when Mal is around.

“Jayyyy!”

He’s startled by two hands on his shoulders, and Mal’s body slams into him from behind before he can react. “Whoa! Sorry,” she cackles, wrapping her arms around to hug him. “I wanna do a whip, Jay! Assemble the troops!”

She pushes off of him, just as Ben skates up and grabs her hand, gesturing for Jay and Carlos to join them as she leads Mal to the middle of the lake. Jay groans as he starts to spin them around.

“You heard the queen,” he snarks. “You wanna grab Evie and Doug? I’ll get Jane and Lonnie. Let’s get this over with.”

Carlos giggles and shakes his head as he skates off to do Mal’s bidding. Jay wants to keep a sneer on for show, but Mal’s eagerness to has him feeling giddy. Even Carlos wasn’t fighting back his smiles, despite being out in the bitter cold. Things were finally going well for him.

-----

The rest of the day on the lake had been fun, but largely uneventful. Jay was happy for that though, because really, most of the events of the last few days had some sort of minor disaster tacked onto the end of them.

The whip had been exhilarating in its success. A knot had twisted in Jay’s gut as they all got lined up, the thought of Carlos potentially finding himself at the end and getting whipped into a snow mound had been swirling in his mind when they finally started. But to his luck, Jay had finagled the anchor position, and was able to keep Carlos at his side, ensuring his safety...for the most part.

Carlos’ breathless laughter and toothy smile remained etched in Jay’s memory, making the day more than worthwhile to him. He even managed to race (and beat) Lonnie, with Carlos conceding to skate with Jane for a bit while they did.

“Oh come ON! How did you do that? Tell me you cheated,” Lonnie pants, trying to catch her breath. Jay doesn’t want to sound as winded as he is, but sucking his breath down only leads to an awkward wheezing, which makes Lonnie laugh out loud. “Careful grandpa, you’re gonna hyperventilate! Deep breaths!”

“Shut up,” Jay retorts, unable to bite back his smile. “I beat you fair and square, Li- loser.”

He snorts when she slaps his back, hard. “Fine! Just don’t get a big head about it, cause it’s not gonna last long, you hear?”

Jay nods, letting his laughter die down as his breaths come in more evenly. His eyes dart around the lake until they land on Jane and Carlos, arms linked as they skate slowly, chattering quietly and smiling to each other. It’s only when Lonnie leans in to follow his gaze that he realizes he’s been staring.

“They’re fucking cute, aren’t they?” she muses, smiling softly as she watches them. “The cutest little nerds…” she adds with a quiet chuckle.

Jay nods, but jumps when Lonnie spins to face him, lips painted with a playful smirk.

“They really needed us you know? To show them how to let loose and just have fun.” She turns back to steal a glance at them again. “I just assumed Jane would always be uptight. I still liked her though, still wanted to give it a shot. And...she’s actually really fun. She’s always up for anything when she’s with me.”

Lonnie continues to watch Jane, and Jay almost has to choke back a giggle at the dreamy look on her face, but he’s able to control himself. He’s too happy for Lonnie anyway, he doesn’t even feel his usual need to tease her.

She finally seems to snap out of it, looking back at Jay with only a half quirk of a smile. She huffs a laugh at him, shaking her head.

“You gotta do the nerd stuff too, though, don’t you? Just to make them happy. It’s not so bad though. Jane loves when we read together. And we do puzzles allll the time.”

She scrunches her nose when Jay chuckles at her, giving him a nudge with her elbow. “Turns out, I actually like puzzles. I had no idea. I guess that makes me a little bit of a nerd too, huh?”

“It makes you a nerd for Jane.” He actually laughs this time, and Lonnie rolls her eyes at him.

“I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been a nerd for Carlos even longer.”

Jay scoffs, pulling her along as Jane and Carlos start to skate back to them. “If you say so, Lons. It doesn’t matter anyway, cause I’m not about to complain.”

Lonnie seems eerily quiet for a moment, but just as she reaches out to grab Jane’s hand, Jay hears her barely mumble.

“Me neither.”

-----

Jay feels his happiness creeping through him for the entirety of their drive back to the castle. The car is relatively silent, Evie and Mal are already both sleeping, clearly feeling physically spent from the long day outside. Jane and Lonnie talk quietly in the back for most of the ride, while Jay lightly strokes Carlos’ hair as he lays his head against the center console. He’s smiling sleepily, and a rush of joy consumes Jay from the inside out. Ice skating had gone off without a hitch, and at this point he couldn’t have wished for more. Today was perfect.

Well, almost perfect.

When they arrive at the castle, Carlos pulls Jay aside and into the hallway as they’re walking in.

“So. Don’t be mad, but-” Jay’s already frowning, so Carlos turns a weak smile. “-would it be ok with you if I just went to our room now? I really want to lay down, I’m beat.” Carlos bites his lip and looks downward, refusing to meet Jay’s gaze as he waits for him to respond.

Jay’s trying to be understanding, but really, he isn’t. Sure, today was tiring, but everyone else is still choosing to hang out together, and Carlos is never one to turn down time with friends. And Mal and Ben just got here today! This just, doesn’t seem like something that Carlos would do.

Carlos finally looks at Jay, giving him wide, pleading eyes and his most regretful smile.

“I mean, if that’s what you want. You know I won’t stop you.” Jay mumbles, trying his best to look sincere.

Carlos nods, kissing him quickly on the cheek as he passes by to retreat upstairs. Jay huffs a sigh as he watches, eventually trudging glumly back into the main living room alone to rejoin their friends.

-----

“Jay, will you get your mopey ass in here already?”

Mal shoves another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, letting the spoon dangle from her lips as she waves Jay into the kitchen. He follows her command wordlessly. All the will he had to enjoy her company and banter went upstairs hours ago, leaving him alone so his mind could formulate all the potential scenarios that sent Carlos upstairs and not with Jay on Christmas Eve.

“Are you just going to sit around all night and wonder what the hell you did wrong?”

Jay grits his teeth as he slides into the chair next to Mal. “No,” he grumbles, but she’s already flashing a shit-eating grin.

“Yes, yes you are, Jay-bear. You’re not fooling me. Never could, so stop trying,” she chuckles and dips her finger in her ice cream to smear it across Jay’s nose. He swipes it off with a sneer, shrugging her arm off his shoulder.

“Fine, who the fuck cares?” He bursts, tossing his hands up in frustration. “I spent weeks planning out this trip, and all I’ve managed to do is drop a tree on Carlos, knock him out with a toboggan and make him want to go to bed and ignore me. I think I have the right to fuckin’ be upset, ok? I ruined our first Christmas together. He probably hates me.”

“Ok, stop with the pity party. He doesn’t hate you. I saw him with you all day today. He does, like...the exact opposite of hating you.”

Opposite of hate? Jay’s lip trembles, but he forces back his smile. “But, he couldn’t get away from me fast enough tonight. And I thought he had a great time today.”

“Jayyy,” she sighs, “I love you, you know I do. But not everything is about you. Did you ever think that maybe Carlos was...tired?”

Jay shrugs, a little disbelieving. “He’s skated before, it’s never that exhausting. And he’d never give up the chance to see you and Ben. We’ve been wanting to see you guys for so long.”

“I know,” Mals says, squeezing Jay’s hand. “And we’re excited to see you both too. But from what Evie’s been telling me, you’ve had all of them running laps for days with all your, Christmas activities.”

Jay snorts at Mal’s finger quotes, slapping them down with a smirk. “So what’s your point? I’m just trying to make the most of this trip, and really get in the Christmas spirit. You know? Make it a memorable Christmas for everyone.”

“And I’m not arguing that at all, Jay. Really, Evie, Lonnie and Jane wouldn’t stop raving about how fun it’s been thanks to you. But-”

“But? Oh great, here it comes,” Jay starts to moan.

“Just shut up and listen, ok? When you were making all these, Christmassy plans, did you stop to consider the things that Carlos likes to do?”

Jay pauses, licking at his lips as he thinks. “He likes...Christmas. Being with friends.”

“He likes sitting and talking, playing board games, doing puzzles,” she explains with a quirk of her brow. “Sure, he does sports. Sometimes. But mostly to spend time with you, like with tourney. But, you fell in love with a nerd, Jay. Don’t forget that.”

Jay scoffs, turning away from Mal with an angry furrow in his brow. But he releases with a sad sigh. “Fuck, you’re right. I know you’re right. I should’ve made at least one day about doing what he loves, not me. Dammit.”

He drops his head, clenching his fists on the table. But Mal reaches out to him, softening his grip with her fingers.

“Will you chill? We can still fix this.”

“Mal, it’s Christmas Eve. What the hell are we gonna do?”

Mal’s smile stretches wide and triumphant. “I thought you’d never ask. E! Get in here!”

Jay here’s some stumbling in the main living room, followed by quickening clacks.

“You called, M?” Evie sing-songs as she pops around the corner.

“Remember what we talked about? Jay does need our help,” Mal tells her, smirking at Jay’s surprised look.

Evie grins toothily at Mal. “Oh good! Craft time!”

[pretty-thoughts-and-a-pen]

To Be More

CW: blood, bullying

“Victor Lawrence, you are the one chosen by the prophecy.”

“This,” Victor could hardly shake off his bewilderment long enough to speak, “is the most stupid joke I have ever seen. Do you think I’m a fucking geek, or something?”

The words held a harsh, biting tone that seemed to stun the old man. Really, he should’ve expected as much from Victor; the young man of seventeen was not known for being nice. They should’ve expected it, those losers orchestrating this from behind the scenes. How had they gotten an adult in on this, anyway? This man was clearly in his forties, with a beard framing his hardened, square face and scraggly brown hair peeking out from under a pointed wizard’s hat. Victor thought the costume was simply ridiculous. Wizard robes. It was a lame, poorly-executed, frankly insulting prank and Victor could already feel the rage festering within him, wanting to spill over and send his fist flying into someone’s fa-

“I cannot imagine what I have said to make you so angry.” The man’s words pulled Victor unceremoniously to the realization that his anger was not unseen. It must’ve shown on his face, his features contorted in an ever-present frown, but if it was so visible, why did no one fucking care? While his body was strained in the grip of anger, every second of every day, why did people turn away, why couldn’t he be cared fo-

Victor snapped himself out of it.

“Listen, man.” He ran his hand through his hair, eyes already turning away towards the gateway of the school, which he longed to walk out of already. “I’ve had a really shitty day, and I would appreciate it if you would go crawling back into whatever hole you came out of, and quit wasting my time.”

The man clenched his jaw. A flicker of annoyance coloured his formerly calm gaze, and Victor delighted in it. Let him get on his nerves. He would be so, so memorable, this man would never be able to think of this moment again without feeling the exasperation Victor ignited in him.

“Young man,” the ‘wizard’ fiddled with the purple collar of his robe as he tried to keep his voice level, “you are disbelieving. And you are...lashing out,” well, that was certainly putting it mildly, “out of confusion, and I understand. If you could just spare a minute to talk things over, with me-”

“No, I cannot.”

“-then you would see that,” the wizard was gritting his teeth now, “the prophecy foretells a grim future for you, me, and all of humanity.”

“Are you done already?”

“It is vital that you wield the chosen one’s sword!” He was yelling now, hands thrown out in an exaggerated display, spit flying. Victor smirked at him, tingling with glee inside. He had ruined a good few losers’ day in a matter of minutes.

“Hilarious.” The cutting edge of his tone was one any self-respecting asshole would be proud of. “But if you’ll excuse me now, my good sir,” he drawled, putting his hand out in theatrically, “I’m fucking tired-”

“You’re bleeding.” The old man’s eyes widened, staring at the hand hung in front of him.

Victor blinked. “What? Oh.” Victor put his hand up in front of his face to make note of the splatter of blood coating his skin. “Nah, that’s not mine.”

“Your knuckles don’t seem to be hurt.” The man stepped forward and took his hand in one of his own. He turned it, inspecting it, and Victor was struck once again by how ridiculous this whole thing was. His mind drifted through many thoughts at once, trying to push through the bitter realisation that his brother was probably home already, strutting around the house telling everyone about his perfect achievements like the perfect son he was. And Victor was out here entertaining some clown.

“Do you need a band-aid-”

“What the fuck are you looking at?!”

Victor had whipped around as soon as the shadow of the hunched figure had entered his peripheral vision. His free hand curled into a fist, and the other was immediately wrenched out of the man’s grasp. His entire face contorted in fury, an easy retreat back into the mask that always hid his embarrassment behind it, and the sight of it sent his classmate Keith stumbling back in fear. The kid tripped over his own feet in his haste, and landed in a heap at the bottom of the steps he had been descending.

Keith looked rapidly back and forth between Victor and the wizard, trembling on the ground with his legs curling into him. His hands automatically shot up to shield his face, the way they often did around Victor. This was actually the only way Victor ever really saw Keith’s face - small sections peeking out from behind his fingers, with bruises and streaks of blood littering the skin. Victor wouldn’t really have it any other way. Sure, he rolled his eyes right then and pretended to be annoyed, but this was the only natural state for the two boys to be in. Victor deserved that power over the scrawny kid after all.

“Hey,” a thought struck Victor, “did you set this up?” He raised his eyebrows at Keith, taking a step forward, which at once made Keith scramble back. “This is your idea of a funny joke?”

“I-I didn’t! I didn’t!”

“This is not a joke!” The old man thundered next to him, and for once, Victor had to step back. Had to snap his attention away from his own agenda, and, as he got a look at the horror on the man’s face, even consider that he was wrong, and that he would have to listen.

He found that he much preferred when things just went his own way.

“Leave, kid.” The man turned to Keith and spoke gently, and at once Keith was scrambling onto his feet and dashing out of the courtyard. Victor spun on his heel just in time to see a streak of black clothes fly past, a backpack trailing along, fluttering away, before the kid was gone. Once again, it was just him and the frustrating clown. And somewhere far away in his home, his mom and brother were cooking lunch, laughing and making a merry old joke about how irresponsible he was, wandering around after school, always coming home late, never helpi-

“You are supposed to be the chosen one,” a small voice sounded. “The one who shall help people, save us all.” The man didn’t sound angry now, and as Victor’s head snapped back to look at him, he got an eyeful of a sight he hated. Slumped shoulders and tired eyes, the man had stepped away from him, looking exhausted. Looking reproachful. Looking so, so disappointed and Victor hated it, he fucking hated it and he couldn’t stand this charade anymore.

“Shut the fuck up about your prophecy!” His throat ached with the strain of raising his voice yet once again. But this was natural. This came easily, yelling and standing tall and taking menacing steps forward, ones that people instinctively stepped back from like cornered animals. Cornered animals who were all put in front of him to be imposed upon, to fix their eyes on him and give him their undivided, begrudging attention. He would have that attention even if he had to force it out of them, because it was better than that ugly, bitter disappointment they showed if they didn’t mask it with fear. They were all disappointed. They all saw something better that he could be, something more, but he was just him and all he could ever be was him.

“You could do so much better than this.” His brother looked over his desk, scrutinising his notebooks, his books, the fractured sentences he had managed for his essay. He had tried, and he wanted to say that he had tried, but trying wasn’t nearly enough.

“Are you even trying?” Yes, he was! But his sister didn’t see that. How could she, when she had entered his room just two minutes ago, only to see him slump in his chair and pull out his phone? She wasn’t leaning against the wall, running her critical eye all over his room, a little while before when he was kicking the desk, punching the wall, tearing his hair out but still coming back to do even a sliver of research. But she was here now. A perfect example of a med student who had so much good advice to give, if only her little brother would not be stubborn, and try to be better.

“Now, now. We all know he will graduate at the top of his class, just like his brother did!” His mom had entered the room, bounded over and ruffled his hair. “And his sister before him. Isn’t it, Victor? You” her voice trailed off suddenly, disappearing, much like the hopes of ever completing this essay before midnight, “you are planning to graduate this semester, right?”

It was a joke. Just a joke, and so Victor playfully swatted her arm away, murmuring a good-natured reply and pretending the laughter came as naturally to him as it did to them.

“Wait up! Young man, wait!” The wizard jogged after him for a while after he had stormed out of the courtyard, taken a turn down the street and was already marching away. He paused just one last time, but he was done. They were done here.

“Are you not going to fulfill the prophecy?” This was the first and last time Victor would hear the man speak in such a tone. Soft, questioning, filled with a naive hope befitting that of a child, that things would be alright yet.

Victor dashed those hopes immediately.

“Find someone else.” And he marched off and turned away, leaving the wizard with the poisonous words that he had spat out in a quivering voice. Had this hopeful, idealistic man banked on young Victor being the hero? Had he come to him anticipating his, and the world’s, saviour? Then, the old clown would consider himself lucky that he had been taught his lesson already. Victor could not be expected to be great. He could only ever be him.