#seasons three and four left me feeling the same way Book

[the-birth-of-art]

[starlightazriel]

bee 8

desc: modern day bestfriends>lovers azriel au (fem reader)

warnings: lots of time jumps, rhys being rhys, arguing/angst, lying, az being unhinged in vegas (leave my bby alone he's not used to serious relationships), reader being insecure , SMUT ! (oral, az eating the booty like groceries (we been over this guys hes a freak), raw dogging, soft dom, self gratification,vibrator, squirting, spanking, cream pie), fluff, drug/alcohol addiction

A/N: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG MY LIFE IS V V MESSY AND UNHINGED ALSO THIS ISNT FULLY PROOF READ

MOOD FOR THE BEGINNING OF THIS

wc: 5.9k

other parts can be found on my masterlist under azriel

eight

"I got us a massive suite at the four seasons for our trip this weekend," Rhys is grinning while showing Cassian a photo of what he had booked for them. Azriel suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, only Rhys would drop that big of a bag on a weekend work-stay, they were supposed to be location scouting. He didn't want to be ungrateful, but him and Bee were in their honeymoon phase... Everything was just going right, everything except the fact that Rhys wanted to move him hundreds of miles away.

"This weekend?" Azriel grimaces, leaning against the reception desk in the shop. Kat had gone home already and it was just Rhys, Cass and Azriel left. "What if I don't want to uproot my entire life here and move to Vegas?" he asks then, Cass shifts uncomfortably on his feet, looking between his two best friends.

Rhys' jaw flexed and he leaned back, tilting his chin up at Azriel in that power tripping way that he did so often. Azriels jaw flexed, his hands balling up at his sides as he stared Rhys down, not shying away from his intimidating frame. He knew challenging Rhys never ended well, sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

"You do realize that you have a contract, right Azriel? A contract that you signed, a contract that includes relocation if I see fit," Rhys voice is cool and unwavering as he assesses Azriel. "Maybe, if you had been sober while reading the contract, you would have known that was included," Rhys eyes narrowed, the tension in Azriels jaw grew, his temper flaring. "And maybe if you had been sober when we were talking about this trip weeks ago, you would have remembered that we were going this weekend to scout out a few potential new spaces," Rhys tone was unwavering, Cass winced behind him, it was always his job to keep the peace, usually between the three of them it was almost always Rhys and Az butting heads.

"Fuck this, I got dinner plans to get ready for," Azriels voice was a near growl now, and he didn't even bother to say good bye to either of his closest friends before he left them in the shop with a slam of the front door, the bells rattling at the top as it slammed shut.

His annoyance and Rhys' sheer entitlement had him needing to take the edge off. Az loved Rhys, of course he did, he was basically his brother- but that didnt mean they always agreed. Azriel tried not to think about Rhys' jabs at his sobriety while he took a quick sniff from his vile before heading home.

-

With Bee, it was just easy. Azriel didn't seem to have the same issues he did in the past with other women, being faithful to her came easy. He guessed it was because he always had been loyal to her in a sense, since they were just kids.

The past weeks had been a type of bliss that Azriel had never known, a different kind of high than the one he got from his drug of choice. They were fucking constantly, waking up together every morning, going on dates whenever they had time, fuck, he had even posted her which he had never done for anyone else... It was a picture of her at the beach, grinning so brightly it made his chest feel tight because he put that smile on her face. ive been so blind, was his only explanation under the photo.

And still, he wasn't able to bring himself to tell her about Rhys' Vegas plans for the next year. Everything was too perfect right now. Granted it had only been a few weeks since their first date, but he just didn't wanna mess everything up so soon, he wanted to live in this perfect little bubble just a little longer.

"Az? You with me?" she giggles softly, her dirty martini pulled to her lips, her eyes glowing as she looked at him from under dark lashes. "I think I want to get the vodka pappardelle," she places her glass down again and points to the menu.

"Yeah, whatever you want baby, sorry," he ran his finger through his hair, leaning back into his seat, flicking his eyes back down to the menu. "Just- I know it's last minute, I'm going on a little Vegas trip this weekend with Rhys and Cass," he waited a second before looking up and studied her face, absentmindedly messing with the straw in his own drink.

"A Vegas trip?" Bees eyebrows draw together, her attention was already on him, the menu forgotten, he swallowed. "Like Las Vegas?" she asks, a little more slowly this time. "Why are you guys going out there?" the concern, the uncertainty in her eyes made Azriels gut wrench. He knew he should tell her everything now, tell her that the possibility of him living there next year was becoming less of a possibility and more of a reality. Sure, when she was done with school, she could be a nurse anywhere... But that was still a ways away.

"Boys trip," he shrugs, and it wasn't exactly a lie, it just wasn't the full truth. She looked back at him skeptically, and he knew he had to change the subject soon.

"Boys trip, huh?" she leans back, raising an eyebrow skeptically. In the past- boys trips were really only meant for single Az.

"I'll be good," Az flashes her a smile, he knew he may have used the wrong choice of wording. A year ago, a boys trip to Vegas would have meant unlimited blow, maybe even a threesome, hooking up with randoms, losing all of his money. "Gonna gamble for sure though," he sips his drink, she's still looking at him with a skeptical look as if she knew there was more to the story. Luckily for Az the server came back for the rest of their order.

"Have we made some decisions?" she asks, looking between the two of them, Az only jerked his chin toward Bee, he liked the smile it put on her face to be able to choose everything for them so they could try it together.

"Yes we are going to share the duck pizza and the vodka pappardelle, you want oysters Az?" she lifts her eyes from the menu to look back at Azriel, he smirks and glances up at the server.

"Yeah, we'll start with a dozen," he shrugs and the waitress beams, making sure she had everything correct before leaving the table. "Thank you," he adds, but his eyes are back on Bee.

"So boys trip to Vegas, kinda last minute huh?" she quirks her brow again, leaning forward, her elbows on the table, Azriel tried not to let his eyes settle for too long on her breasts as they spilled slightly out of her top. Of course he wasnt lucky enough that she'd already forgotten about it.

"Yeah, I mean, I knew about it.. Just forgot," he shrugs easily, nudging her foot under the table, her eyes are hazy but he can still see that skeptical glint in them. He didn't want to lie, or leave parts of the truth out... But he also wanted to have a good night before he had to leave in a couple days, plus, she was working the rest of the week until he was gone anyway.

"Interesting," she murmurs, rubbing her finger against the base of her glass. "Anyway, you better bring something back for me," she shrugs before taking another sip from her martini.

"I wouldn't dream of coming back without something for my girl," he licks his lips, nudging her foot gently again under the table, her cheeks warm at his words and she rolls her eyes playfully at him. Az knew he was good at distracting her, though he wasn't sure if that was really a good thing or not.

"Yeah, yeah," she laughs softly, the sound made Azriels chest swell. "Thank you so much," she smiles softly as the runner sets the oysters down on the table between them.

"Can I grab you anything else?" the boy flashes her a cheeky grin that Azriel doesn't miss, he clears his throat as if to remind him he was sitting there across from her.

"More lemons," Az says boredly but there was an edge of annoyance in his tone, making the boys head snap to him and he blushed slightly, nodding his head. He didn't need more lemons, he just wanted to be difficult, the level of jealousy he felt when anyone even spoke to her was something he'd never experienced.

"Oh, of course, I'll be right back," he swallows, before running off back to the kitchen. Azriels eyes snap back to Bee, who's looking at him with pursed lips.

"Azriel, lay off the poor kid he's like eighteen," she shakes her head slightly, he noted that her martini was almost gone now, she was definitely feeling it. He only shrugs, smirking at her, stretching his legs out under the table so they were more than in her space, the skin of her bare calf pressed against his pants, she's nibbling on her lip, her eyes growing darker with lust. He loved how easy it was for him to get her going.

"Here you are, enjoy," hes back quickly and he places the small dish of lemons in front of Azriel.

"We will," Az only nods, Bee makes sure to utter a rushed thank you to him, shooting Azriel another look. "Don't look at me like that, lemme see you swallow," he smirks suggestively and she lets out a little puff of air her jaw dropping slightly but she couldn't help but smile.

"Azriel, don't be gross," she giggled quietly but she was still squeezing lemon onto the first oyster, he watched as the juice dripped off of her fingertips and she picked up the oyster, her eyes meeting his.

"That's it," he murmured, watching her tip her head back slightly and open her lips, her cheeks warmed at the gravelly tone of his voice. "Good practice for when I make you swallow something else tonight," he smirked, sipping from his drink while he watched her rest the shell on her lower lip, he watched her throat bob as she swallowed, humming softly in approval.

"Mmm those are good ones," she giggled softly, turning the shell over and placing it back on the ice.

"Youre a good one," his lips twitched in a sheepish smirk and she held his gaze, her own full of so much love it made his heart rate pick up.

"Az Im worried about you, cheesy much? youre definitely going soft on me," she grinned so brightly it made heat crawl up the back of his neck and onto his cheeks.

His cock was aching in his pants, he couldn't wait to get her back home. His jaw flexed before he muttered "you're going to be my end I swear."

-

"I should have stopped after the first two," I giggled quietly as I stumbled into my bedroom, kicking my heels off behind me, Azriel was right behind me, I could almost feel his eyes burning into my backside.

"I told you," he says in that low husky tone he often used with me these days, it was laced with so much need it made my head spin. "Anyway, Im glad now because it will give you courage for our reenactment."

"Reenactment?" I ask, turning to look at him now my brow slightly furrowed. "Of what?" I ask curiously, taking each of my earrings off, I had obviously been wearing the ones from Az, I had every day since he had gifted them to me. I had learned that he liked to get rough often, I didnt want to chance losing them so I tucked them away carefully in my jewelry box.

"Of the day I walked in on you," his voice was so calm and commanding it made my toes curl, my breath hitched, a warm tingling sensation spreading throughout my pussy. My cheeks warmed at the thought.

"Az- I can't..." I breathed out, my heart rate picking up at the thought of just purposefully touching myself in front of him.

"I didnt ask if you could. You will," he says, his voice so sure, and he was right. Knowing what he could do to me... Anything he told me to do, Id do it. Especially when he sounded like that. "I'll give you about five minutes to get situated, ten if youre lucky but I don't think I can be that patient. Im going to show you what I wanted to do to you," he adds, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. I was already moving before my brain could even process. My throat bobbed, my cheeks embarrassingly red as I retrieved the toy I had used that day from my top drawer and I left him alone in my room. It was annoying how easily he could render me speechless these days.

I slipped out of my dress and my panties, leaving them both on his bedroom floor, I didn't dare look at myself in the full length mirror he had. I let myself fall back onto his bed, inhaling his cedary scent just like I did that day he walked in on me.

My heart was racing as I spread my legs and placed my rose toy on my clit. I let out a small huff my eyes on Azriels open bedroom door as I let the toy suction softly to my pussy. My hand traveled up, caressing my skin gently before settling on my nipple, I rolled it gently between my fingertips. My breath hitched when he appeared in the door way, looking handsome as ever, my cheeks warmed at the sight of him. How had I gotten so lucky?

"That's my baby," Azriel chuckled darkly as he leaned against the door frame to his bedroom. I moaned softly when our eyes met, my cheeks turning pink. "Now if I had been bold enough that day, I would have got down on my knees like I'm about to now,"

"Az," I whimpered softly in desperation, the need for him starting to outweigh my nerves. It was hard to want to hide when he made me feel so sexy. A single look was enough to do me in.

"Shh baby," he hums softly and in one fluid motion, pulls me to the edge of the bed and slowly drops to his knees. I whimper softly as he brushes the sides of his face against my inner thighs, inhaling my scent before spreading my legs. I gasped softly my hand shaking slightly as I held my toy between my legs.

Azriel sucked gently and bit at the sensitive skin on my inner thighs, a guttural moan escaped my lips at the contrasting feeling. The sting of his little nibbles mixed with the soft buzz and suction from my toy had my back arching up. "Please Az," I gasped softly, I knew there would be little bruises peppered over my delicate skin.

"Please what baby?" he breathed out, his breath hot against my sensitive skin. My head was spinning, I didn't know if it was from the alcohol I'd drank at dinner or from the way he touched me, the way he took control, guided me. It just felt so right, so perfect.

"Please," I let a heavy breath pass through parted lips, my heart beating rapidly against my chest. "Please taste me, I need you," I begged softly, gasping as he pushed my legs up, the delicious scrape of his rough hands against my skin sending heat slithering down my spine.

"That's my good girl," he licked his lips at the sight of me, my legs spread and up in the air, bared to him except for my clit, the vibrator still buzzing around it. I was already so close, my cunt pulsating with need for him. My breath hitched when I felt his mouth on me, the slow lazy roll of his tongue on my second hole sending stars dancing in my eyes. I hummed softly, tossing my head back and letting my eyes squeeze shut, goosebumps raising all over my skin.

"F-fuck Az," I breathed out, the new sensation making my mind go numb. His thumbs pressed harder into the backs of my thighs, I arched my back slightly, gasping again for breath as he circled his tongue around and around my opening. He held my legs open as they threatened to close, quivering pathetically underneath his touch. It was only a matter of seconds before I was cumming, his name ringing out through the room, making him moan against me. My vibrator fell from my hand, gently hitting his cheek before rolling onto the floor next to him. I panted, my hips wriggling underneath him as he sucked the sensitive skin between my pussy and my ass before covering my entire cunt with his mouth. "Ohh my- fuck-" each word came out in a pathetic broken moan as he shook his head between my legs. I couldn't hold it back anymore and I was squirting all over his face, he moaned against me, pulling off of my pussy with a soft sucking sound.

He gently licked me down from my high, my body jerking with the aftershocks of my intense orgasms. "Damn baby I didnt know you could do that," his eyes are so dark and hazy with lust as he kisses back up my body, hes back on his feet now, hovering over me. "My little sprinkler," he teases before biting down softly on my nipple, I yelped softly, my body jerking.

"Az, I need you so fucking bad," I breathed out my eyes meeting with his. He grinned in that lazy way he did his face still glistening with my cum. He looked so damn happy, it made my heart sing. It had been a bit of a rare sight these last couple years... But these past few weeks? He had been nothing but happy, it made my chest swell knowing I was the cause of that happiness.

"I was gonna put my cock in your mouth first but since you've been so good we'll save it for later," he stood up straight, looking down at me hungrily, my legs laying lazily over the edge of the bed now. He undid his pants, his eyes never leaving me as he dropped them to the floor. "Lay on your stomach," he commanded, his voice gravelly. He watched me readjust myself, cursing quietly under his breath as I lay on my stomach across his bed before him.

I let out a moan when his hand unexpectedly connected with my ass with a loud slapping sound, the sting sending my toes curling. He gently lifted me up, his arm wrapping around my torso and lifting up with ease. He slid a pillow underneath to prop me up perfectly. Azriel gently rubbed his rough fingers over the tender spot he had smacked, humming in approval. "Ive wanted to do that since I watched you walk away from me in the hall that day," he admits, only earning a whimper in response from me. I was so ready for him to fuck me into nothing.

I shivered as Azriel slowly slid his fingertips over my shoulders and down my arms gently wrapping his large scarred fingers around the tips of his fingers pressing into the insides of my elbows as he pulled my arms behind my back. He used one hand to pin my wrists to my lower back, I whimpered softly, begging him for his cock again as his hand tightened on my wrists, his large hands finding no trouble.

He used his other hand to guide his cock toward my pussy, not bothering with a condom. If it was one thing about Az, we were fucking raw, every time. He slid his tip over my slick cunt, teasing gently before sinking into me, cursing softly under his breath as he did. "Yes please fuck me, please," I begged desperately, the side of my face pressed into his bed.

"That's my girl, so wet and tight for me," his fingers were gripping the bed beneath me, his mouth almost by my ear now as he moved in and out of me his cock filled me up over and over.

I moaned his name again, arching my back up for him, he hissed under his breath and spanked me again, I felt my ass jiggle under his big hand, the sting made my body jerk. "I love how you fuck me," I whimpered softly, feeling like a puddle beneath him, he still my hands pinned to my back, he let out a low groan from deep in his throat, up on his knees as he slammed his hips over and over against my ass.

I let out another broken moan, his considerable length dragging over my g spot every time he thrusted himself into me, I couldnt hold it in anymore and I came all over his cock with my third orgasm of the night, stars danced behind my eyes my body tensing underneath him. I couldnt stop the scream that left my lips as he continued fucking me, cursing again softly and squeezing my tender and red flesh from his spanks. "Ohh yesss Az..." I moaned again, his thrusts lost their rhythm as he grew closer, his breath heavy and erratic behind me.

"Mmm baby you're so fucking sexy," he breathed out before letting out a low guttural groan. "I'm gonna fill up that pretty little cunt," he grunted in my ear and with a few more thrusts I cried out softly at the feeling of his thick ropes of cum spilling into my pussy. So damn good. "Fuck," he breathed slowly pulling his hands from my wrists, my arms fell back at my sides and I whimpered softly as he slowly pulled his cock from my pussy. He swore again under his breath, "Stay just like that," he muttered, leaning over and grabbing his phone from the bedside table, and I felt him slap his still semi hard cock on my ass cheek. "For later," I could hear the grin in his voice as he snapped a picture of his gleaming cock against my ass. I just whimpered softly in response, my body feeling limp my mind numb. He tossed his phone aside on the bed and flipped me over onto my back and placed a soft kiss to my lips.

I had been waiting to get fucked like this for years. None of my past lovers had ever been able to compare to the way that Az made me feel, though if things hadn't gone the way they did with Az I probably would have ended up giving Eris another chance.

"You're so damn good at fucking," I huffed out, looking up at him with hazy satisfaction. "It's not fair," he just laughed and leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead and then my lips. I let my eyes flutter shut again as he tucked my hair behind my ear before he muttered "let's get you cleaned up baby."

-

"Send me lots of pictures," Bee flashes her biggest grin, hugging Azriel so tightly. He smiled down at her, squeezing her back and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. He was glad she had brought them to the air port, it gave him just a little extra time with her.

"I promise baby I will, I'm gonna miss you," he rubs small circles into her back, savoring the last few minutes they had together before he was on the plane.

"Be good okay?" she drops her voice lower, Rhys and Cass were standing off to the side waiting for him while he said his last goodbyes. He could tell she didn't want them to hear this part. "Just like- stick to drinking and bud okay? Just don't want you to buy something without knowing what it is for sure first.." she mumbles softly, biting down gently on her lip.

Az sighs quietly, pulling away slightly at her words, he knew she meant well but he couldn't help but get the tiniest bit annoyed. "I'm gonna be fine, chill off me," he chuckled quietly but leaned down and pressed one more kiss to her lips, because he know she was only saying that because she cared about him... She had never exactly supported his extracurricular activities. "I'll be good, and you better be good too," he warns playfully, but there was a slight edge in his tone so she would know he did mean it. "You're mine now, I don't want to hear about any red headed visitors," he raises an eyebrow and she pursed her lips, glaring lightly at him.

"Azriel. You know I would never-"

"I know," he cuts her off, brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I gotta go baby, text me when you're home safe alright? I'll text you when I land," he opens his arms one last time to crush her in good bye hug, she hums softly tucking her chin into his neck and inhaling his scent.

"I love you," she mumbles softly, he just grinned and hugged her even tighter, he kissed the top of her head, not daring to utter it back yet. Some things he just wasn't ready for.

He had told her he loved her dozens of times, but he knew the next time he said those words to her, they would carry a whole different weight.

-

It was evening on the second day when they finally made it out onto the strip, the first day had been filled with scouting out locations. Rhys had already signed a lease, much to his own surprise, he thought he'd have to come back a few times before finding the perfect spot for their new shop. The signing was followed by a very late dinner and a few bottles of champagne before they retreated back to the massive suite Rhys had got for them.

Azriel had to admit, he liked it here. He was having a blast with his brothers, and he hadn't wanted to admit it before but he could see himself living here. He knew this would be a level up for him, he would make way more money out here... Plans were already stirring in his head for how he would convince Bee to move out here with him, she would have to transfer schools, quit her job... He knew that was a lot to ask. He couldn't imagine not living with her anymore...

"Sin city baby!!! AZ! Get outta your head man do you see this shit?" Cass had been excited since the moment they stepped off the plane yesterday, they were all quite fucked up now. They had been gambling all night, winning and losing money and had now settled in one of the nicest clubs Azriel had ever been in. There was half naked bottle girls everywhere, and of course Rhys had got them a VIP section with bottle service included.

"Oh I see it," Azriel laughs softly, catching the eyes of the bottle girl who was leaning very close to him as she poured shots for the three of them. She was definitely giving him the eyes. Azriel had to look away then, turning his head back toward Cass. "I'm just fucked up," against Bees wishes, the first thing he had done this morning was purchase a gram.

"Better hope that shit didn't have fenty in it," Rhys turns his head to look at Az, who rolls his eyes in response.

"It's doesn't," he snaps back, before downing another shot, he didn't even know how many he'd had at this point. "It's just good shit you want a line?" he raises his eyebrows, there had been a time the three of them did this all together. Az just never grew out of it...

"I'll take one man, I'm in fucking Vegas!" Cass shouts, earning a laugh from Az who simply passed the little white bag over. This was one thing about Vegas he liked, the freedom of just being able to do a line in the club and no one even batted a single eye because it was Vegas, and obviously one of them had money if they had a VIP here.

"Some day the two of you will grow up," Rhys sighs before beckoning the bottle girl over for the list of bottles they could purchase.

"Get the Clase Rhys we are celebrating!" Cass voice boomed out and he shot to his feet, shaking his head with the effect the drugs had on him. Azriel just laughed and snatched his little bag back from him.

"Easy," Az laughs again, catching the bottle girls eye again, he didn't mean to, she was fucking staring. She flashed him a seductive little grin before retreating to get the bottle that Rhys had ordered.

He knew a few months ago he would have flirted a little and ended up taking her back to the room. He wasn't single anymore though, and the pain it would cause Bee just for him to get his nut off for a night while he was on his boys trip, it just wasn't worth it. Plus, he needed her to know he wasn't that guy anymore. He wanted to be everything for her.

-

"No fucking way," my phone tightened in my hand as I stared down at it, Kat and I were out to brunch, she figured we should have a little girls weekend while the boys were away. So finally we were able to do something since I had Sunday off, Az wouldn't be landing back home until late tonight.

"What is it?" Kat asks, lifting her eyes from her plate.

"Go look at fucking Cassian's instagram," I said through gritted teeth as I swiped through each photo from their apparent escapades lastnight.

There was my Az, my Az... Grinning wickedly, leaning over, face smushed between the tits of two bottle girls who were wearing nothing but lingerie to cover their most intimate bits. He had his arms around each of them, a drink nearly spilling over one of their shoulders. His pupils were blown out, clearly he hadn't listened to me about staying away from drugs out there. My heart was sinking further with the scroll of each photo. There was another snap shot of him dancing with one of them, she was bent over, her ass shaking on him, one of his hands loosely on her waist.

"Oh fuuuck.." Kat drew out the word, her eyes widening as she looked down at the photos on her phone.

"Yeah fuck is right," I locked my phone, tossing it on the table next to me before downing the rest of my mimosa. "I fucking knew it, he hasn't changed even a little bit- As soon as he said boys trip I-"

"Boys trip?" she asked, drawing her eyebrows together. "That's what he told you?" she asks, biting her lip and gnawing on it a bit. What the fuck did she know?

"Kat...?" I say slowly, meeting her eyes, her cheeks are flushed as if she had just said something she knew she shouldn't have.

"I- I'm sure Az is going to tell you- I don't think it's my place to-"

"Just spit it out," I was starting to get more angry, the gnawing feeling of shame starting to eat at my stomach. "What do you know?!" I demanded and she loosed a breath, leaning back in her seat.

"Bee- I swear I thought he told you- Please don't tell him it was me that said anything I'm sure he's just waiting for-"

"Just spit it out Kat," I repeat, an impatient edge to my tone. What had he kept from me?

"It was a location scouting trip- For-for the new shop that Rhys is opening up with Az and Cass in Vegas," her voice is soft now, and she's almost wincing as she waits for my reaction.

Just like that... It felt like everything had been some sick game to pass the time. My stomach turned, I felt like I was going to lose everything I had eaten on our little brunch date.

"I'm so fucking stupid," I breathed softly, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I really thought I knew him better than that... I never expected him to pull some shit like this. To keep something this big from me.

-

Azriel groaned loudly as he rolled over, the silky sheets slipping from his skin as he reached for his phone. He smiled, noticing the few notifications he had from Bee, his face quickly fell, and he was sitting up straight in an instant rubbing his eyes.

good morning!! can't wait to see you tonight

Normal, but the message below that one, and the notification that she stopped sharing her location? Definitely not normal. They had been sharing location for years, basically since it had become an option.

going to visit my family for a couple days i'll talk to you when i get back.

He quickly typed out a response.

everything okay baby?

He knew he had forgotten to face time her lastnight before he went to bed, but he was so fucked up he couldn't even remember getting home. And it had to have been almost 5 am when they had gotten back to the resort. She had asked him before they left to face time her before he went to sleep both nights, surely she couldn't be that mad over that, could she?

As he padded into the little kitchen that was built into the suite, his eyes were glued to his phone. He opened instagram next, and his stomach twisted slightly when he pressed her story and it was one of those dumb quotes girls tended to post after getting dumped about never really being able to know someone.

Fuck what did I do? his face had gone a little pale, the contents of the michelin star dinner they had lastnight and all the alcohol he had consumed bubbled in his stomach, he was racking his brain, trying to piece together the night, he couldn't really remember much of anything once they had left the casino and got to the club.

All he had to do was scroll down to the top post on his feed and his face paled. "Cass are you fucking dumb?" he's in Cassians part of the suite before he can even think shaking him awake.

"What the fuck man?" Cass groans, rolling over and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Rhys was behind them now, he had been up for an hour or two already.

"You saw the instagram post didn't you?" Rhys chuckles from behind him, holding his coffee cup in hand, leaning against the door frame.

"You think this shits funny?" He demands, whirling around to direct his attention to Rhys. As angry as he was at Cass, he knew it was only his fault that he had bought coke and got completely black out shit faced drunk. "Man fuck both of you," he growls and turns on his heel, storming to the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.

-

a/n: sorry but if it's one thing abt me yk i love drama

taglist: @smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta

[hrtsdevils]

you made me love the number forty-three | fall to me au

summary: a close-knit bond is formed between luke hughes and y/n l/n throughout the years. they have their ups and downs, but they’ll always be there for one another.

pairing: platonic luke hughes x family friend!reader

wc: 1564

warnings: fuck ass bob

a/n this is based off of abby by gracie abrams, and it’s very dear to my heart! pretend that luke wasn’t committed to umich 2 years before he graduated… for the plot! sorry jack’s kind of a meanie, i love him!!! i swear!! it just fits w the lyrics <3 enjoy and thanks for reading!

tell me your secrets, ask every question. my door is open twenty-four/seven. think you were made from something in heaven. you made me love the number eleven forty-three.

october 2008-september 2010

Your family had known the Hughes family for as long as you could remember. Your mother had played soccer at the University of New Hampshire with Ellen, and she was the first person to cheer her on once hockey season started. This allowed them to form a close bond over their four years of eligibility. The Hughes family travelled a bit around the country due to the careers of Ellen and Jim, but as soon as they settled in Toronto with their seven, five, and three-year-old sons, your mother followed suit with five-year-old you and your eight-year-old older brother.

The older two boys in each family started hockey, and Jack was soon to follow. This left you and little Luke to hang out in the care of Ellen, and occasionally your mom. At first, you loved him, he was like your personal baby doll that you could drag around, dress up, and have tea parties with. Luke didn’t usually object, except for that one incident where you tried to make him wear “clip-clops”, as you called them, to which he had a temper tantrum about the sheer idea of putting them on his feet.

As you grew older, Luke wanted less to do with you and your girly things and more to do with hockey, along with whatever else the boys were doing. Although normal of him, you still felt betrayed. What can you say; you were seven years old. To try and make you fit in, Luke took craft scissors to your long, wavy hair and cut it to look like the boys. Maybe you’d have looked better if you had a pixie cut done by a professional salon, however, he was slightly less than and you came out with the same shaggy haircut as the five-year-old. You ran to your mom immediately, about to cry of embarrassment.

“Mommy, something bad happened!” You screeched, interrupting her conversation with Ellen and catching the attention of the three boys.

Covering her mouth slightly, Ellen was the first to speak, “Oh, sweetie.. what happened?” She reached out to touch your now chin-length locks and brushed a few stray longer hairs out of your eyes.

“Luke cut it, so I could play hockey with them.” You gesture towards the boys, “And now I... I look like him!” You exclaimed out of horror, finally realizing the drastic nature of your actions.

You started to tear up before your mother cut in, “Baby, you both look adorable! It’ll grow out soon, don’t worry about it.”

You were still seething for the rest of the day, and you were plotting your revenge plan on Luke for weeks. You wanted to kill him, and had been ignoring him since that very moment.

You figured your life was over, and what better way to spend your final moments pretending Luke didn’t exist after what he’d done to you. You decided that he was public enemy #1, or at least that’s what he was until you looked in the mirror, albeit a month or two later, and your hair had grown out into a short bob, framing your sweet features beautifully. You started to feel better about it.

Later that day, you went up to your mom and curled up in her lap. “Do you think Luke and I will ever get along again?” You asked while she was reading a book.

Your mother sighed and smiled at you, “You and the boys just have different interests. When you get older, things will be different and you’ll be even closer.”

december 2015

Your mom was right, although you and Luke were pretty far in age, he was practically your baby brother and best friend. You were close, despite differing interests and he would confide in you on a regular basis. One particular night, Luke rode his bike down the sidewalk in the cold, snowy winter and knocked on the window to your first-story bedroom.

You immediately let him in, then asked him what was wrong. Ten-year-old Luke pulled you into a hug and started spilling out his feelings and secrets. “Jack’s so rude!” He exclaimed into your shoulder, “He thinks he’s so much better at everything! Hockey, Mario Kart, basketball, all of it.”

“And?” You inquired, “Just ignore him, Lukey.”

He sniffed some more and released himself from your arms, “He keeps excluding me from his friends and stuff, they’re over and he pretends I don’t exist because I’m not good.” He wiped his nose and sat on the carpeted floor by your bed, “Quinn’s not home, he’s at a tournament with Mom.” He attempted to clarify why Quinn couldn’t stop, although you already knew because your brother was with them.

You frowned, “That’s not cool of him.” You quickly shot a text message to Jim saying Luke came over here to hang out, so nobody got worried. “Are you hungry?”

He nodded, and you offered to make some Kraft mac and cheese. “Feel free to listen to music or something, love you.” You slipped out the door and went to make him some dinner.

Since you were little, you knew for certain that you’d always be there for him and now you knew you’d always look out for him, whenever he needed it. Even if one day he’d be more able to protect himself than you ever could, today you would refrain from marching over to the Hughes residence and getting in a physical fight with Jack.

march 2020

It was almost your eighteenth birthday, so you were visiting home to hang out with your parents, the Hughes’, and a few other hometown friends. You entered the front door to your house after catching up with your friend over coffee to see your parents and the Hughes’ bent over Luke and his laptop. “What’s up?” You question, hanging up your big, puffy jacket.

“We’re waiting for my UMich college acceptance letter, they sent them out today.” He said, nervously. You could tell by the shakiness of his voice.

You joined them at the table, “Don’t be silly, Lukey. You know that they’ve already expressed interest in you and your game.” He smiled a little as you ruffled his hair, and sat down at the chair to the right of him.

“I wish Jack and Quinn were here.” Luke sighed and scratched his head, “Jack promised he’d call, but I think he’s busy.”

You frowned for him, you knew how much closer he and Jack had become in the last few years, but they’d drifted again when Jack moved to New Jersey last year. A part of you wished Jack had gone to college and stayed closer, but you and Luke knew he was too good for the NHL to wait on. “I’m sure he’ll call soon, bub. Give it a little bit.”

After about twenty minutes of refreshing and chatting, the letter from the University of Michigan popped up. It was nerve-wracking. Luke had already been accepted into a few safety schools that wanted him on their hockey teams, but he really wanted to follow in Quinn’s footsteps and go to Michigan. Luke’s cursor hovered over the email for a few moments before clicking it, and to nobody’s surprise, it was an acceptance letter. Everybody cheered, but you seemed the most excited (besides Luke, of course.)

“Luke!” You squealed, hugging the boy from the side as tight as possible, “You did it!”

He hugged you back, “Thanks for supporting me, and letting me sleep on your floor.. and buying me food all the time.” He chuckled, “Couldn’t have done it without you, sissy.”

present day

It was Luke and Jack’s day off, as they had zero games scheduled for the next few days. You had come to visit them to watch a few games, and you were staying at their apartment. It wasn’t a rare occurrence that you came and watched their games, stayed in the guest bedroom of their Hoboken apartment, and hung out with their team and whatever WAGs were joining them. But today it was just you and Luke, chilling on the couch and watching ‘Elf’.

“Remember last November when we went to New York?” You recalled while watching Buddy run through the city. Luke turned the TV down and grinned.

He nodded, “Yeah, good times. And we ate so much chocolate that you almost threw up.”

“That wasn’t because of the chocolate,” you objected, “it was because you were making me laugh so hard my organs hurt.”

Luke snorted as he remembered the vacation and the hotel room you guys stayed in. It was a spontaneous trip on a week when he was injured to try and cheer him up. You guys sat all night judging random music albums and your boyfriend at the time. It was all just a part of a collection of memories you loved to revisit, a photo album in your head.

“God, I can’t believe how old we’re getting.” You said, a tone of sadness. “You used to fit on my shoulders, and now I think you might break them if I tried to give you another piggyback ride.” You laughed softly.

“I’m grateful that our moms raised us two houses down.” Luke threw a piece of popcorn at your face.

You threw it back, “I’m grateful I get to know you.” You stated, a smile gracing your features.

i’m right here. fall to me, to me. fill your head with sweet dreams, sweet dreams. you’d never hurt a thing, nothing. i hope you know to talk to me.

end

[lurkingshan]

10 Things I Love About Only Boo!

*kicks down the door* I'm a few weeks late but I have arrived and I am here to yell about this fucking adorable show. Have you heard that it's the cutest shit you've ever seen in a fresh new package of all your favorite silly old romance tropes? Besties, this is truly the Sunday Serotonin we need. Here are the top 10 things I love about it:

The main romance is between a confident sunshine protagonist and a kind older boy working through his grief and an artistic block. Mok (Moo) and Kang are such nice boys, two cinnamon rolls too sweet and pure for this world, and I loved them instantly. They have a nice crackly chemistry between them and really solid communication right from the start.

The setting is rural and refreshing. Moo moves to Nakhom Pathom to attend school for a semester because his mom wants him to focus on his studies before she will allow him to pursue a career as an idol. Little did she know she was delivering him to a cute boy who would become the new distraction.

The crushing and flirting starts immediately, and it's mutual. They just like each other, man. Kang is (slightly) older and trying to be responsible about keeping Moo focused on his studies so he's putting up some token resistance, but it's very very token. They both find excuses to keep seeing each other after they meet.

There's a side couple with a long-term pining friends to lovers arc. The way I squealed when they revealed that photo wall. I support you, Payos, you will get your boo. These two also have a lovely, easy chemistry and seem so comfortable around each other. Their characterization also gets a fun twist in the beginning of the story.

The writing is strong and assured. This was written by the same screenwriting team as Cooking Crush, aka the best written original Thai bl of last season. These folks know their way around a smart romcom. They know how to deploy classic tropes so they feel fresh, build authentic character arcs, and make all the beats of the story feel confident. We are in good hands and don't need to worry about any out of left field conflicts or weird plot turns with this one.

A fresh new cast brings a ton of energy. I really love all four of the main actors for this show. They're young and bright and breathing some new life into an old formula. And both pairs have solid chemistry and seem comfortable in their scenes together.

Some of our old favorites are here too. They've made the smart decision to bolster the young main cast by surrounding them with more experienced seniors like our lady Milk, here playing Kang's friend and neighbor who is all up in his crush on Moo. Louis and Book are also going to show up at some point.

The show incorporates music and dancing in such a charming way. Moo is one of those kids who just has to dance, and the show mines a lot of comedy around his efforts to stifle the impulse as his mom ordered. I don't think he'll hold out for long, though, because Payos and Tae are on him to train with them. And of course the music supervisor is having a great time working in some classic GMMTV music gags (yes, Love Score and Too Cute To Handle both make memorable appearances).

It's a high school story brimming with youthful energy without being mired in immaturity. The tone of this show reminds me of My School President in the best way, in that it has all the sweetness and innocence of a high school romance without making the characters so immature and bad at communication that it's annoying to watch. As expected from the CC writers, these characters may be inexperienced but they are going to talk to each other and honesty will prevail every time.

We are only three episodes in and the romance is already well underway. This is the kind of show where we will see the main pair flirt and date and face obstacles together. The swoony moments started immediately and Moo is already throwing around the faen title. We know from the synopsis that the core conflict will come when Moo is forced to choose between his relationship with Kang and his dream of being an idol, and I expect he will be finding a way around that choice. I'll be strapped in for the ride because I already believe in these two.

[icyg4l]

How to Prepare for Halloween 🎃

hello beautiful people! the theme of this month is ask and you shall receive! i asked you all how you would feel about a halloween series & this is just the beginning! today’s pick a pile is all about what you should do in order to prepare for your halloween plans. if you are interested in booking a reading with me after reading this, please go to either my guidelines or my booking website to book a reading! 😸 if you have any questions, please dm me! without further ado, please select the pile that resonates with you!

top left to bottom right: (1-4)

pile one: save your money!!! it is imperative that throughout the next four weeks, you make better financial decisions. right now, you could be a broke college student, but once that refund check hits you'll have plans to celebrate halloween the right way! if you plan on drinking/going out in between then, make sure that you don't drink too much. you could burn yourself out that way. and for those who are underaged, please for the love of god, dress up with your family! some of you may have a tradition where you have a family group halloween costume. you might think it's lame but years down the line, what will you have to show for it? the 'it' being your dedication to family. it's better to cringe than to be regretful.

cards used: 5 of discs. 10 of cups. 4 of discs. king of swords.

pile two: this is my introverted pile for sure. boredom sucks, doesn't it? it's time to find peace in that though. be grateful for your current circumstances because things are about to start looking up for you. it's about the little things that will lead to the big things, even if it means being uncomfortable. if there is a chance for you to go party, then do that. you will meet someone at this party who is well-connected with someone that will invite you to their halloween party. if you're more into small-gatherings/quieter settings, attend a movie/poetry night at your school if that exists. the outcome will be the same. you don't try hard enough. an object in motion stays in motion. let's get the ball rolling, shall we?

cards used: 4 of cups. 9 of cups. death. princess of discs. 9 of discs. prince of cups.

pile three: you have wayyy too much on your plate. it's time to start breaking things into sections. some of you could be contemplating your next hairstyle, get something that will last past halloween! get a hairstyle that is low maintenance and versatile, preferably something that is not in your face. it is best that you take a tolerance break right now. find some more productive things to do. the best thing for you to do is to stay sober at this time. you could be prone to psychotic/mental breakdowns + episodes. some of you have nightmares around halloween annually. try not to overstimulate yourself by multitasking. just do one thing at a time. lastly, if you hold a leadership position, don't be afraid to try a new method or let someone else take the lead. it is okay to be a student.

cards used: king of discs. temperance. 9 of swords. princess of swords.

pile four: embrace escapism! you are so uptight, pile four. you just need a night on the town to help with that. your friends may clown you for doing things that would be considered "ladylike" or "mature". that's just your prerogative. however, you are the only one stopping you from letting loose. a good pregame session would do you something good! some of you may attend church on halloween, but this year you may want to do something different. it's okay to want to explore. you're the antithesis to pile three. it is best for you to just go with the flow this halloween season. do something out of the ordinary.

cards used: 8 of wands. 5 of wands. the moon. the hanged man.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Four episodes in, and not once have we seen Helaena and Aemond speak, or even be in the same room together. I know I probably complained about this since before s2 aired, but just because it's such a waste of Phia's acting skills, they're really just wasting the opportunity to like y'know...actually use her character. At all. Also I can't remember if I said this in my last ask, but honestly, at this point it feels like Alicent just hates her children. Before, the lack of content or scenes left us able to be a little bit more hopeful and ambiguous, and I know it's the writer's fault, but truly, will we ever see her act as though she cares for them at all, besides Helaena?

Her leaving Aegon when he was crying to go fuck Crispy Cole was one thing, then the way she talked to him in the last episode, I mean....for fuck's sake, man. They really do just want us to hate her, honestly.

And if it's really been confirmed there is to be no Maelor, what will be the point of Daeron's character? Or is he just name-dropped for fan service, then to be never talked about again? In true, shitty to the point of disrespect to the source material Ryan Condal style?

-🦋 anon

Aemond and Helaena have never exchanged any words at all on screen, even as children. That is insane to me.

They have scenes together in the upcoming episodes, so we will see them actually exchange dialogue. I am looking forward to that.

Overall, I am not loving the shift in writing for the Greens. The woman that cuddled Aemond to her chest at Driftmark and shouted "he is your blood, Viserys!", the woman that pushed her adult son behind her when faced with a fucking dragon, the woman that dismissed the idea of Helaena being married off to one of Rhaenyra's "plain featured" sons - where the fuck is she at?

I don't buy into the "pick a side" narrative at all, but I do feel that Team Green is getting the shitty end of the stick in terms of character development and plot this season.

Ryan Condal has confirmed that Maelor won't exist in the show. I've also seen rumours that Daeron won't physically appear until season three. But it is what it is.

The show and the book are not the same, I have to keep repeating to myself.

[myloveforhergoeson]

ash's september 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read (or didn't read...) this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

booklist:

Summer Reading by Jenn McKinlay(18+!)

• review: this was a solid read. nothing incredible, but definitely better than some of the other crap i've read this year lol. i enjoyed the dynamic between the fmc - a dyslexic chef named sam - and the mmc - a librarian named ben - and the interesting relationship between someone who hates to read and someone who's life revolves around books. honestly i was really interested to see how this played out between the two of them, but like one week into them fooling around he begins to read a book aloud to her and the conflict is magically solved. sam just loves audiobooks now and i wish the author had done more with that. both sam and ben have goals they're striving to reach and i love that ben is able to see his through to the end, but the reader is kind of left wondering about sam's and i would have loved for that threat to have been tied up, but overall this was a cute read. my only real issue with this story was the quality of writing. there were some parts that were super cringe and were clearly written by a millennial emulating the 'how do you do fellow kids' meme that i could've gone without... anyway. i really enjoyed the relationship exploration between sam and her budding teenager brother. after not being in each others lives for a bit, i thought their bonding over the summer was adorable :) would've loved to read a book just about them tbh. neither of the main characters were the kinds of characters to write home about, but overall i did enjoy the progression of their relationship. just kind of a middle-ground novel.

• rating: 3/5 seasons of the bear that taught me all i know about cooking

fic list:

assorted works of @ceruleanmusings <3

look around your world, pretty baby

Blood Diamond; Year Four

i could always write literal essays on your work i swear to god but these two works this month really got to me as per usual. the first mickames one shot for james canon bday was so freaking adorable. i had literal butterflies in my stomach like i was there on the date with them... despite the urgency of the time crunch, which you did exellent in making it seem like it was somehow slow and fast at the same time, god i read this like three times over. mickey and james are just my favorite ;-;!! and blood diamond always hitting in the feels of course... this one in particular really got to me though. the combination of brooke's annoyance with james the last few chapters really came to a head here at the hair salon. he's just a kiddo!! let him play in peace!! and then her figuring out a way to potentially exploit his singing talent... i'll wring her neck i swear. as always tysm for sharing and tagging me in your works 😭 i could read them forever and ever and ever <3

2. assorted works of @partiallypearl/ @praetoravila <3

it's nowhere close to closing time

all over again

be my weekend lover (but don't be my friend)

can i have this dance?

lolive kissssss

you got me paralyzed

you know all my deep dish

this is such a STACKED LINE UP AUGH!! from the beginning with it's nowhere close to closing time... kogan... save me.... i love the first chapter introduction to both the characters and the setting. it's been so exciting theorizing how the story will play out from here and i can't wait to read more!! and of course... all over again with olive my beloved... i just can't get enough of logan and olive and their fucked up little relationship. jo's party chapter literally had me shitting my pants ngl and you already know im thinking of lolive on a daily basis. they're my roman empire i stg... the other three lolive on shots had me by the neck too - from the conversation with kendall 👀 to the quinceañera chapter to their KISS augh im too obsessed for my own good... and saylors introduction one shot!!! ahh!!!! you always have such interesting and well-rounded ocs i'm so jealous!!! i can't wait to learn more about saylor and their relationship with both kendall and lucy :)) macie's story too... she and katie are so adorable. i love the dynamic you've set up between the two of them as they both navigate hollywood!! obsessed as always. im up in your dms literally every single day gushing and i wouldn't have it any other way!!!!!!! <3

3. assorted works of @selangkir <3

mrs. knight one shot

girl time rush (anniversary reread🙏)

iconic work as ALWAYS!!!!!! i truly think your character interptetations of btr/side characters/ocs are so unique and bring such a fresh perspective to the story! the mrs. knight one shot, on top of being hilarious, began to expand on her pretty one dimensional characterization in such a short story and it blew me away. unmatched creativity!! lord knows she needed the j anyway if im being COMPLETELY honest. and i cannot believe gtr turned one year old this month what the fuck!! what the actual fuck!! i swear i've read all three chapters about a bazillion times. ty for being so accepting of roxy and using her as a vessel to tell your story too <3 i'd be lying if i said i wasn't so inspired by sabrina carpenter rn i already have another chapter draft of my own cooking in the google docs..... <33

4. assorted works of @inkameswetrust <3

the windowsill pt. 4

the windowsill pt. 5

oh LORD such incredible updates to this sweet story. these chapters always pack such a punch! i expect nothing less from kames fan #1... im obsessed with the continued relationship between katie and kendall in pt 4. btrtv lacks so heavy on their sibling-ness so i always love seeing it expanded on in fic! and JAMES AND KENDALL GOING OFFICIAL AOAJFOBOBGA i had knots in my stomach! you've also so clearly set up stakes and kendall's future fears it's so genuine and just real it hits so hard. pt 5 with brooke had me almost throwing my phone at the wall if im being honest. the way she spoke to kendall was bonechilling and i'm nervous yet excited for their future together <3 never stop kamesing the world needs it so so sos sooo bad !!!

5. assorted works of @naquey / @ithinkyouhealedmyheart

ghostwriter chapter 1

ghostwriter chapter 2

hi <3 welcome to the reading round up! i love your story sm i'm so grateful to be here for the very beginning of kenonnie and their sweet relationship. ronnie is such a cool character! there is so much depth and dimension to them and i love that every single chapter we learn something new about her!! from her relationship with addy and callie (who i also ADORE and can't wait to learn more about) to his struggles with his father's health... god... the amount of thought you put in is clear and i'm just astounded! the second chapter was also super cool too; i love how you took existing characters and tweaked their relationship so we could learn more about how you view the two of them. i'd never thought to write something with just kelly and rebecca - it's so inventive, just like the (spoliers lol) other chapters you've published since <3 tysm for sharing your writing with us, i'm so excited to see ronnie's journey progress!!!

[soranihimawari]

1/100th of a Second

Or how a poor college student became the sweetheart off a popular rookie athlete in his debut season…

Warnings: none? Just a meet cute at Noehbi…?

Pairings: Bokuto Kotarō x (fem!)reader

Ratings: reunitedbest friends!->lovers

Based on this image i had commissioned from @/rrabittt

Love, as scientific experts say, can change the chemistry of your brain. Love, some romantics who write in the genre, say can happen as often as a clap of thunder in the storm. Love, as you know it, walked into the classroom of your fifth grade class and you feel your young heart fall instantly within 1/100th of a second when your eyes meet the most talkative boy in your class.

Sure, for the next four years, until you enter different high schools, you were inseparable. Taking naps, going to support each other’s sporting events, you name it, he was there for every win and you were there for his. It wasn’t until your middle school year was ending that you had to break the news to him up weren’t able to join him in at Fukurodani. He was devastated and he seemed to visibly deflate and poke around his bento.

“But it’s not like I’m going to be too far away, Bo,” you remind him. “You can always watch my games when I start the season in Hyogo. My mom went to Inarizaki too before moving here to Tokyo for university and she met my dad instantly and kicked off their love story…”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same! You’re gonna be 12+ hours away by bus even more so my walking…”

“The scouts saw me out perform everyone on the team this year even if we didn’t make it to the girls’ junior nationals…’m really sorry bokkun.”

That summer, before you packed up and left, you don’t let the fight you two had nearly three hours before you leave with your parents who would drop you off in another city, stop you from marching to his house in the pouring rain. You pounded on his door and when his older sister answered the door, she leans over her shoulder and you don’t wait for her to return with a towel. For once, you put your heart on the line and in true story book fashion, you bully your way into your best friend’s room:

“Bokuto Kotaru!”

He’s never heard you yet at him, but you at 14 years old knew how to get his attention without the yelling. He hit his growth spurt this year and is now at a comfortable height difference for you to reach up, cup his face and humble him with his first kiss being stolen by you.

“You’re insane,” he mumbles.

“Absolutely stark raving mad,” you jest back before hugging him. “Thought you should know I’ve been wanting to do that since we were ten.”

And so, you leave when he wishes you luck in Hyogo.

Almost a full three years later, you’re back in the city that bared and raised you. Tokyo was ever growing, ever expanding. It would be the same across the country in Hyogo. Sure you were a bit timid even in the past, however ever since your parents decided to split, you find yourself back in your hometown.

It's a weird feeling hearing your old friend in your new high school's gymnasium. Apparently, though you were studying at Nohebi (because they were still accepting transfer students right before the year had started), you happened to join a classmate to oversee her boyfriend's volleyball club training. That's when you see a few of the guys clad in ivory. The third team that were invited were a den of cats, and you seem to pick up this was a pre-pre season face off. Noehbi's vice captain nudges one of the others whom your girl friend from class waves toward and you are introduced to Daisho Suguru. His rival, the tall guy in red, still insults him, but you sort of laugh at their banter. However, your attention goes to the third young man clad in the ivory and gray practice uniform. Sure, you haven't seen each other in three years, but you can tell he sort of filled out: chest and torso was worked out on a weekly focus rotation; his legs were covered with compression leggings which only accentuated his...other assets; and oh my god, you realize he's walking toward you.

"Excuse me," you smile at Daisho and his-your-girl friend, and you respond when you know Bokuto's voice has changed to a little raspier one than before. "Bo?"

"YN?"

You both chuckle and you let Daisho make the call to have the first practice match be between Nekoma (red team you found out later) and Nohebi, begins. WInner of that match will square off with one of the five top aces in the year.

Hours later, you're seen walking in the opposite direction of your own home, reconnecting with the boy you stole your first kiss from at 14. You fill him in on your life, even your parents divorce, "so the judge agreed I was old enough to choose who and where I wanted to live, so I came back home...with my dad."

"Cool, but y'know, 'm sorry they split," Bokuto says, holding your hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Me too, but I'm glad they're living their own truths now," you reply, shyly combing a piece of your hair behind your ear. “I’ll be here through the end of our third year. So, I’ll be seeing you more I guess.”

He hums, nodding along. 

“Once an old friend, always an old friend,” Bokuto beams. 

You don’t bring up the time you literally gave him his first kiss, that memory could burn for all you care. Awkward and all, however that was three years ago and as his house comes to view, he asks you something a bit…sweet?

“Want to come in?” 

You, who think nothing of it, agree, stepping across the threshold of the front door you’ve came through so many times. His house is lively with with sisters and even the eldest one now is finally expanding the family. Her sweet smile invites conversation, but thankfully after you had said your greetings, she understands her kid brother more than anyone else. The middle sisters are gushing over the latest sonograms of their eldest sibling while Bokuto chimes in with being named a godparent almost immediately.

“Well, if I make Koutaro a god parent, then,” his expecting sister glances at you. “I’d have to make you one too I guess.”

Your cheeks are burnt sunset orange when Bokuto pulls you away from the kitchen saying something about homework.

“They are as lively as ever…So, your one-san is expecting? That’s something I wasn’t expecting when you told me she was gonna come home for a few months and travel back I think before she gets too far along…You an uncle? That’s also great too,” you ramble a bit. You take an opportunity to see the achievements he made with being the ace for the volleyball clubs since your move, spotting the article framed of him and his near perfect posture for a pipeline spike. 

“Bokuto,” your voice is gentle. “Why did you invite me inside?”

He places his things down at the corner of his bed before sitting on the edge of it.

“Because I missed you way more than I imagined.”

Considering you’re standing by his desk right now, you arch an eyebrow, but you shrug your shoulders. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t write or call,” you confess. “I didn’t have enough time to ask for a computer at the time. I mean, I had tablets, sure, but we didn’t make it a point to trade social media.”

“Come here,” he holds your hand. You listen to him and walk toward him until you’re close enough he hugs you; a hand of yours rustles his hair. You chuckle slightly amused when he nuzzles his cheek against your torso. 

“Affectionate as always,” he hears you say. His eyes light up and he chooses to ask you something a bit bolder. 

“Mind if I do something?”

You shake your head before asking if he’s attempting to flirt with you (again).

“So what if I am,” Bokuto loves it when you tease him a bit. His lips find yours after he guides you to sit on his lap for a bit. There’s a smile you feel post him pecking your lips as he finally decides to take a chance for you both. For the boy who cares and emotes too much to find the person who inspired him to return after some time, having you return his affections meant the world to him.

So when future you had honed your skills in obtaining your degree in public relations, you stand in the press room with the rest of the rookie volleyball players from the Monster Generation, a sparkly stone shines on your finger when just a regular ace answers a question from the press.

[fandomtherapy44]

Castiel x reader Chapter 18: The End

Summary: SEASON 5 WHOOOO!!!!!!!! LET's GO! So I am so excited for this season so many great episodes. There are going to be a lot more Cas and Y/n scenes. And more chapters too. I do recommend that you read my first book so you get the full Y/n Winchester build-up. Okay with out further due enjoy the second book of Love War and Grace.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

WC:7.242k

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season five of Supernatural, Emotional hurt for Y/n, Guns, Talk about Alcohol

divider from

Firefly Graphics

About a week passed, and Dean was blowing up my phone with voicemails and texts with apologies. I listened to and read them all, but I couldn't talk to him, not yet. I left Ellen and Jo to have space to think about what Dean had said and they understood. Ellen and Jo still checked in with me by giving me a call. 

“Hey sweetie, how are you doing?” Ellen asked. I sat down on my bed with a beer in hand, thinking about what to say.

“To be honest, Ellen, I don’t know…I mean my whole life, he’s been mine… I just can’t believe he said that about Sam and our family.” She took in my words and tried to find the best to return back with. 

“I know, I think Dean doesn’t understand all that he said either.” I sigh and lay back on my bed with a big flop. 

“Yeah doesn’t mean it doesnt hurt.” I sniff and let a tear fall. 

“Y/n…I'm sorry, I want you to know if you ever need anything Jo and I will be there.” That brings a small smile to my face. 

“Thanks El, I'll talk to you later.” I hang up from her and just sit there and I get a text. “Call if you need anything :) -Jo”

It was amazing to have them, it was almost like having a moth-. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing. “Hey, Cas. Any updates?” 

“The colt.” He responded, plainly.

“The colt that we lost?” I questioned, sipping my beer.

“It’s the only thing that could kill Lucifer, Y/n. And if you three still want to kill him, that's how we do it.” 

“Have any leads?” I ask.

“Where are you now?”

“Kansas city. Rev Motel, room 444”

“Good, I’ll be right there.”

“Cas, wait, I need sleep. Can we meet in like four hours?”

“Okay, four hours.”

“Thanks, Cas.”

I went to sleep but not even an hour later I got a call. It was Sam. I answered instantly.

“Sam?”

“Hey N/n, how are you doing?” 

I didn’t know how to tell him so I did something I hate doing. I lied. 

“Uh…good. You?”

“No, I’m not, I’m I- I’m…the vessel for Lucifer.” That makes me shoot straight up in bed. 

“What!?” I replied.

“Yeah, he told me all Freddy Krueger style.”  I think about it, and it makes sense with the whole prophecy thing.

“Okay. Well then we will take this on like any other thing. I’ll send you my location.”

He pauses and I can almost make out mumbles, “Really just like that.”

“Yeah of course Sam, Why?” I retort.

He sighs and breathes in deeply. “I told Dean, and he said we would be better apart.”

The anger courses through me like a storm. But I didn’t want to upset Sam anymore. I had been going through the same feelings as him. “I'm sorry Sam, it seems Dean has been a jerk to both of us, just call me when you're on your way, kay?”

“Kay, love you Y/n.”

“Love you too Sam.” 

I hung up the phone and crawled back into bed feeling uneasy, like pieces of myself were missing, like I wasn’t whole. I knew what was, but I couldn't force Dean to be here if he didn’t want to be, just like Dad.

Tweet tweet. I slowly opened my eyes and there was a bird in front of me? I fully open them and as my vision clears from sleep. I think I’m still dreaming because my whole room looks like Edward Scissorhands wanted to be a room designer. I got up from the broken bed and everything was tattered and filthy. I put my head outside the window and the whole street looked like it had been abandoned for ten years. I went outside and it was definitely eerie. I felt like I was transported into a zombie movie. I see an old newspaper case and grab one out.

“OUTBREAK NOW HITS KANSAS CITY, WHERE DO WE GO NOW?” My eyes then wandered down to the date. “January 15th, 2014.” What the fuck?

I started to walk down the street trying to gather what was happening. I then walk down an alley and see Dean.

“Dean?” He turns to me and grabs to hug me. I forget what had been said but for just that moment. I then glance over his shoulder and see a little girl, out cold.

“Did you punch a child out?” He looked between him and the girl and saw how bad it looked.

“The little psycho pulled a knife on me!” I'm about to respond when my head turns and I see the one word I wasn’t expecting.

“CROATOAN” 

“Oh shit!” At that, a lot of people spawn out of nowhere, all of them affected by something.

“Run?”

“Run!” Dean agrees with me and we both book it down the street, and holy fuck the affected were like fast zombies. We hit a dead end and are about to be pounced on when the military comes out of nowhere and shoots them all down, miraculously missing us. We parted the barbed wire to clear a fence and begin walking.

“So?” Dean questions.

“Yeah, so what the hell are we doing in 2014!?” I blurt out anxiously. Dean stops me.

“We’re in 2014!?” He utters, reciprocating my fear. I just shake my head.

“Okay, I think we should go to Bobby’s. You?” He asked me, staring intently into my eyes. I couldn't return his gaze.

“Sounds good.” I responded coldly and Dean knew why.

I managed to hotwire a car and we were on our way. A stale silence filled the car which never happened; there was usually talking or music, but not now. With Dean gripping the steering wheel, he finally said the words that had been on his mind for the last hour. 

“So, are we going to talk?”

I don’t even look at him. “About what?”

“You know what, Y/n I really am sor-” I stopped him at that. 

“Dean, we are currently trapped in 2014 with a deadly virus on our asses, I don’t know, could we maybe pause that conversation till we figure it out after?” I never stalled a chance for us to apologize to each other. That's how he knew he really screwed up.

“Of course.” A couple more seconds and we get the living daylights sacred out of us.

“AHH FUCK!” Dean had the same response and there was Zachariah sitting there, smugly. I should of fucking known.

"Croatoan pandemic reaches Australia." He reads off from a newspaper headline.

“I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap.” Dean quipped at him.

“‘President Palin defends bombing of Houston.’ Certainly a buyer's market in real estate. Let's see what's happening in sports. That's right—no more sports. Congress revoked the right to group assembly. What's left of Congress, that is. Hardly a quorum, if you ask me.”

“How did you find us?” I painfully asked him. I didn’t want to look at the fuckface.

“Nice to see you too, Y/n. Afraid we had to tap some unorthodox resources of late—human informants. We've been making inspirational visits to the fringier Christian groups. They've been given your guy’s image, told to keep an eye out.” I think and I know who it was.

“The Nun selling the flowers! That bitch, and to think I bought daisies from her.” I said, shaking my head in annoyance.

“The Bible freak outside the motel—they, what, dropped a dime on us?” Dean said.

“Onward, Christian soldiers.” Zach replied.

“Okay, well, good, great. You have had your jollies. Now send us back, you son of a bitch.” Dean commanded.

“Oh, you'll get back—all in good time. We want you to marinate a bit.” Zach said, amused. I look back to wanting to smack him.

“The fuck that’s supposed to mean?”

“Three days, Dean. Three days to see where this course of action takes you.” Zach then looks at me.

“And for you, really think if you don’t let your brothers fulfill their prophecy, see what happens.”

At that Dean and I looked at each other, thinking, what were we going to see?

I kick the door open to Bobby’s house.

“Bobby! Bobby!” 

Dean and I go in searching for any sign of Bobby. Sadly, his house looked like everywhere else. The nail in the coffin was just an empty wheelchair in the middle of the hallway covered in cobwebs and dust on its side with bullet holes and dried blood. It had been sitting there for years. 

“Bobby…”

Dean goes to the fire mantel and picks up an old picture of a group of men. One of them was Bobby but strangely, another was Cas. Dean points at the photo.

“Camp Chitaqua.” 

We had gotten to the camp and we had sneaked in. A few steps in and we see a horrible thing- well, at least to Dean. It was Baby. Most of her parts were missing- wheels gone and greenery growing out of it. Dean sticks his head in the open car. 

“Oh, no, Baby, what did they do to you?” 

I hear some rustling and before I know it Dean has been knocked out. I tried to run but it was too late.

A gun cocks. “Turn around, slowly.”

I do and I see my brother, lying unconscious on the ground.

“Dean?” I ask, staring in shock at the man before me, who looks exactly like Dean, but a bit older and before I knew it I was out too.

Future Dean’s cabin had its essentials: guns, food, and liquor. My Dean was still knocked out and handcuffed. I was too smart, because we are all Winchesters, after all.

“So should we talk-” I was stopped because future Dean was giving me the death stare.

“Okay, won’t talk. Got it.” He just sits and stares at me.

“Do I have something on my face or-”

“I need your arm.” He doesn't give me a chance and just grabs it.

“Hey! HEY!” He pulls out a silver knife and makes a cut in my arm. “OW! You could have at least given me a second!”

He stands up and grabs a flask. “We don’t have the luxury of seconds anymore.”

I can’t even respond because Holy water gets thrown in my face. I spit it out.

“I'm not a monster and neither is he.” I nod to my Dean.

“I know.” He said and for a reason there is a tiny bit of sadness behind it.

“How did you two end up here?”

“Fucking Zach.” I say with heavy disdain. Dean chuckles and mumbles something I couldn't hear. “I'm from 2009.” 

“If you were my sister, tell me something we would only know.” Future Dean questions.

I think for a moment and come up with the perfect thing. “My first date stood me up, so you picked me up and we egged his house. You told me that he was an idiot and that you would always… be there for me.” I finish with a small smile thinking about one of the few good memories from my childhood all because of… Dean.

“Yeah, I wanted to throw it at his car, but you said that was too far and I remember being happy that you still cared.” Dean said looking down at his hands with a hint of melancholy to his voice. Which made me curious.

At that moment my Dean wakes up. “Y/n! Y/n!” 

“Dean, I'm okay! So are you.” My Dean looked at Future Dean and a look of horror consumed his face. This was getting too confusing. I decided to call my Dean by his name and the future one DD. It was a nickname I had for him when I was little.

“I know Zach threw you guys here. Where is he? I want to talk to him.” DD asked Dean.

“We don’t know.” Dean answered for us.

“So, what, Zach zapped you two up here to see how bad it gets?”

“I guess. Croatoan virus, right? That's their endgame?” Dean asked DD. I mean it has to be right?! I wondered.

“It's efficient, it's incurable, and it's scary as hell. Turns people into monsters. Started hitting the major cities about two years ago. World really went in the crapper after that.” Two years ago? Then where the Hell is Sam? My thoughts raced.

“Then what about Sam?” Dean had the same question as me, rightly so.

DD is silent for a second. You could see the cogs turning in his head as he thought about how to respond.

“Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I understand, Sam didn't make it.” Dean and I widened our eyes at that news.

“What happened?” I questioned, scared for the answer.

“No. No, me and Sam, we haven't talked in—hell, five years,” DD replied. I look between DD and Dean. So that is what happens. Why didn't I try to connect us together?

“What about me?” I ask, concerned. DD turns his head and puts it down in shame.

“I haven't seen you in five years, N/n.” At that, DD starts to leave.

“Wait, wait! What’s that supposed to mean?” I tried to grab his attention because that short explanation was not good enough, especially considering the situation we were in. 

“It means that we…I haven’t seen you for five years.” He stops the conversation there, grabs his stuff and turns to Dean.

“Okay. All right. Fine. But you don't have to cuff me, man. Oh, come on. You don't trust yourself?” Dean said to DD, very offended. DD looks between the two of us.

“You're right, I'm sorry.” He goes and grabs a pair of handcuffs and secures them on my wrists.

“Hey, that's not fair!” I reply, trying to defend myself.

DD turns to me and gives a look, as if to say, “Really?”

“Okay, fair.” DD rolls his eyes and leaves the cabin. Dean and I look at each other.

“How the hell are we always short sighted in our own Back to the Future movies?” I asked Dean.

“I don’t know, Y/n, maybe Marty McFly screwed the system for us.” Dean used a nail he quickly pulled out from the floor board, unlocked his cuffs, and threw me the nail. I followed suit, while Dean started to leave.

“Uh, where do you think you're going?”

“I'm going to check out all this!” He pointed outside.

“What about everyone else seeing doubles?” I said, pointing out the obvious.

“Oh please, with the world they live in, I think they will be okay. Are you going to come?”

I looked around and decided that I needed to uncover a little more in here. “I'm going to look around in here.”

“Okay I'll be back in an hour.” He opened the door, glanced around, and snuck out.

I stand up. Let's just say the cabin did not have much charm to it. “Okay, time to Scooby Doo this bitch.”

I had been looking around for about thirty minutes and I had found nothing, just six guns and eight empty booze bottles, which was typical of Dean. As I walked around the room, a floorboard creaked. “Uh huh, still the same hiding spot from when you were a teen Dean.” I kneel down and pry the board open to find a brown leather journal that looks identical to our Dad’s. I picked it up and started to go through it. Usually I wouldn’t do this, but DD is definitely hiding something important.

“It's been a year since this damn breakout started. Bobby and I tried to defend Sioux Falls the best we could but we had to leave. The Croatans are never ending and basically are super powered. I haven’t really gotten sleep. The only aid I get is from a bottle if I'm lucky enough to find one. It's the only reason why I won’t have nightmares about what happened…” 

I began to filp the page to continue reading but before I could I heard Dean scream followed by a gunshot. I dropped the journal and ran out the door and towards the sound. I see a clearing and Dean and DD standing there with a dead dude on the ground. Other people were staring at Dean like it was The Parent Trap. 

“Dean! Are you okay!?” I ran to his side. 

“Yeah I’m fine, but he isn't.” He glanced down to the poor sap.

“Who shot him?” I questioned and at that time I noticed everyone looking at me even weirder than the twins.

“Uh, my twin.” Dean responded.

Then I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned to see Cas standing before me.

“Cas?” He just stares in my eyes and I see so much pain and sorrow behind them. He pulls me in for a deep and strong hug, even stronger than when he hugged me after he came back from the dead.

“Cas are you okay?” I squeeze back.

We let go and he gives me a chilling response:

“Y/n, you've been dead for five years.”

I somehow found myself back in the cabin, my whole world turned upside down. Dean and I were silent, thinking about what was just uncovered. DD was just standing there silently.

“So, you want to say something DD?”

He looks at me with emotion in his eyes that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. “You haven’t called me that since you were eight.” 

“Yeah it’s a little too The Parent Trap to call you both Dean. Let’s move on from childhood names and tell me, how the hell am I dead, and why didn't you tell us?” I declared, crossing my arms. I had no way of regulating my feelings more than I usually do.

DD sighs and looks down and Dean and I are waiting. “Five years ago you died in Detroit, that's the day I regretted not saying yes.” He turns to Dean.

“That’s why you have to say yes.” Dean stared at DD.

“How do I die?” I asked.

“I don’t remember, no one does.” He poured a tall glass of whiskey.

“What do you mean you don’t remember!?” I slammed my hands down on the table in confusion and anger.

“I mean that no one remembers how it happens. Maybe it was from trauma or the Angels but we all can’t remember shit about that day.” He finished by gulping down the drink. I had to get some air, so I headed outside.

I started walking while everyone looked at me like they were seeing a ghost. Technically, they were. I didn't even realize that my legs were running till I got to a clearing where I was far enough away that I could think straight. I leaned my back against a big tall pine tree, letting myself slide down to the stump. I tried to catch my breath in the cold air, and it was obvious that I wasn’t doing a good job. As I exhaled, my breath looked like a white plume of smoke. Thousands of thoughts ran through my head, none of them stopping to drink water. 

“Hey, are you okay?” A deep scruffy voice asked from the other side of the tree. I didn't need to turn to see who the owner of the voice was. It might have sounded a little strained and hoarse, but I knew it was my best friend. I got up, slowly trying not to stumble while ignoring the oncoming headache. 

“To be honest, Cas, no. I mean, how are you supposed to react when you die in almost a year?” I put my hand on my head trying to calm it.

“It’s been five years for me, the worst five years.” He sits down on a stomp and takes out an old pack of cigs that looks about ten years old. He lights one up and breathes it in and blows out a long puff of smoke. I went to sit down next to him.

“Since when do you smoke?” I waited for an answer and just took a good look at him. He was still handsome as ever, but looked aged and scared in more than one way.

“Since you died and the world went to shit.” He throws the cig and then he takes out a small flask, immediately throwing it back like he couldn't be without a substance for more than a couple of seconds. I hated seeing him like this.

“Do you remember how I-” I hesitated to continue. not wanting to speak it in existence more than it had.

“How you die? No, I don’t, like everyone else.” He offered me the flask and I thought, what the hell. I take it and drink it back. 

“Ugh that tastes disgusting- it’s like old peach schnapps.” I pulled it from my mouth and spit it out on the ground.

He takes it back, smiling. “That's ‘cause it is, Y/n. Not many stores in the apocalypse, but as long as it gets me drunk I don’t care.” He then again drinks it back like it’s nothing, telling me he’s had a lot of practice.

“So what happened after I… died.”

“Well, the Angels had their fun letting the Croats and demons run around after the planet was barely spinning. We've been trying to save what’s left.” I hadn’t heard such a hopeless sentence for a long time. Then I realized something that should be so obvious.

“Cas… You're not an Angel anymore, are you.”  He chuckles at that.

“N/n, always so smart. Yeah, I lost my wings a long time ago. I think it had something to do with the others leaving. I don’t know. So, I'm useless.” He drank again.

“Useless?”

“Yeah, useless, I couldn’t even… save you.” He says, full of regret and disdain.

“Cas, you have never been useless, even after losing your wings, despite what you think. You are useful just being you! Don’t blame yourself for what happened. I can tell you, even though for me it hasn’t happened yet, it wasn’t your fault.”

He turns to me and gives me a real smile. 

“I missed that.”

“Missed what?”

“Missed you pulling me from hell, no matter what.”

Cas and I walked back to the cabin. When we arrived, everyone was having a meeting and the colt was in the middle of the table.

“Is that the colt!?” I asked, surprised, and sat down. Cas looked curious as well.

Both DD and Dean stared at me as how to I was doing.

‘How are you doing?” Dean whispered to me.

“I…” I didn't really know.

“So, that's it? That's the Colt?” Risa questioned.

“If anything can kill Lucifer, this is it.” DD responded holding up the gun confidently.

“Great. Have we got anything that can find Lucifer?” Risa threw back with attitude and she did have a good question.

“Are you okay?” DD was confused.

“Oh, we were in, uh, Jane's cabin last night. And, apparently, we and...Risa have a connection.” Dean told DD and I had to try to hold back my laughter.

“We don't have to find Lucifer. We know where he is. The demon that we caught last week, he was one of the big guy's entourage. He knew,” DD stated.

“Are we really trusting a demon?” I just couldn't believe Dean, especially that this Dean (DD) would take a demon's word truthfully.

“ Y/n our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.” Cas said and I could tell he was sad saying it.

“Torture? Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again. No, that's—that's good. Classy.” Dean said in disbelief to DD.

Cas laughs at that and DD gives him a look.

“What? I like past you.” Cas riposted back.

“Lucifer is here. Now. I know the block and I know the building.” DD brought out a map and a block was circled.

“Oh, good—it's right in the middle of a hot zone.” Cas clearly pointed out.

“Crawling with Croats, yeah. You saying my plan is reckless?” DD replied.

“Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe,” Cas stated.

“Are you coming?”

“Of course. But why is he? I mean, he's you five years ago. If something happens to him, you're gone, right?” Cas was right- I should technically be dead- but not him.

“He's coming.” DD commanded firmly.

Cas is done with DD’s bullshit and just agrees to halt the conversation. “Okay. Well, uh. I'll get the grunts moving.” Him and Risa leave.

“Why are you taking us?” Dean asked DD. DD reloads his gun, looking down.

“Relax. You'll be fine. Zach's looking after you, right?”

“No, that's not what I mean. I want to know what's going on.” Dean was right.

“Yeah, I second that.” I chimed in.

“Yeah, okay. You're coming because I want you to see something. I want you to see our brother.”

“Sam’s dead like me right…?” I asked, hesitantly. DD looks into my eyes and sighs and then turns to Dean.

“Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said 'yes'.”

“Wait. You mean—” 

“That's right. The big 'yes'. To the devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom.” 

“Why in the hell would Sam do that? It makes no sense.” I wondered, voicing my thoughts.

“I don’t know why N/n, but now we don't have a choice. It's in him, and it's not getting out. And we've got to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it—the whole damn thing, how bad it gets—so you can do it differently.”

“What do you mean?”

“Zach said he was gonna bring you back, right? To ‘09?”

“When you get back home—you say 'yes'. You hear me? Say 'yes' to Michael.” DD was chest to chest with Dean, pleading with him.

“If Dean does that then Michael and Lucifer will smoke half the planet.”

“AT LEAST YOU’LL BE ALIVE!” DD yelled, finally letting his anger out.

“Look around you, man. Half the planet's better than no planet, which is what we have now. Your sister can still be alive. If I could do it over again, I'd say 'yes' in a heartbeat.” DD continued.

“So why don't you?” Dean asked.

“I've tried! I've shouted 'yes' till I was blue in the face! The angels aren't listening! They just—left—gave up! It's too late for me, but for you—” DD went on.

“Oh, no. There's got to be another way,” Dean interrupted.

“Yeah, that's what I thought. I was cocky. Never actually thought I'd lose. But I was wrong. Dean. I was wrong. I'm begging you. Say yes. So our sister can live.” 

I get in a truck with Cas to head to the site where Sam supposedly is. It’s so weird to see him driving, but I liked it. He takes out a bottle of pills and takes a couple.

“Pills? What the hell are those?” I nod my head to the bottle.

“Amphetamines, you want some?” Cas easily said, without regard. My stomach dropped.

“Sure.” I give a sweet smile, prompting Cas to hand me the bottle. I proceeded to roll down the window and threw the bottle out.

“WHAT THE HELL Y/N? Do you know how hard it is to find those?” Cas tried to focus on the road and not to turn back.

“No I don’t, and I don’t care.”

“Why!? Why would you do that?”

“Because you're not being you!”

“What does that even mean!” He exclaimed, hitting the wheel, turning to glare at me quickly before looking back at the road.

“The Cas I know would never get high and drink!”

“I'm not the Cas you know or knew I don’t really know but after you died… I couldn't, I just couldn't.”

“Cas, listen to me. After this, go somewhere for me.”

He looked to me. “Where?”

“Go see the Northern lights.” 

“Why there?”

“I never got to go and probably never will, so you go for me. I don’t want you to be sad, I want you to get the full human experience, feel sad, and mad... and love. Feel for me, because I can’t bear to see a shell of you. Just promise me, okay?” I grab his hand and squeeze it tightly.

“Okay, I promise.”

We had gotten to the site and it was an old repair building. DD started telling us the plan. 

“There. Second-floor window. We go in there.” He pointed up to the building. He said this as if it was easy to accomplish.

“You sure about this?” Risa rightfully questioned.

“They'll never see us coming. Trust me. Now, weapons check. We're on the move in five.” This is too easy and fishy, I thought. He’s lying.

“Hey, uh, me. Can I talk to you for a sec?” Dean nodded at DD.

I get up to go with them. “Tell me what's going on.”

“What?” Dean in any timeline can be such a bad liar.

“DD, you forget that I have been with you our entire lives. What the fuck are you planning?” I pointed at his chest.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” DD rebutted back. 

“Oh, really? Well, we don't seem to be the only members of your party with some questions, so, uh, maybe we will just take our doubts over to them.” Dean and I started to walk away.

“Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Take a look around you, guys. This place should be white-hot with Croats. Where are they?” He said, holding us back by the collars of our shirts.

“They cleared a path for us. Which means that this is—”

“A fucking trap. Then we can’t go through the front!” I concluded.

“Oh, we're not. They are. They're the decoys. We're going in through the back, us three.” My jaw dropped at what DD suggested.

“You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too? You want to use their deaths as a diversion?” 

DD looks away in shame.

“Oh, man, something is broken in you. You're making decisions that I would never make. I wouldn't sacrifice my friends.” That's when DD snaps.

“You're right. You wouldn't. Maybe seeing that your SISTER DIES BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS CHANGES THAT!” He screamed at Dean and his eyes floated to me in the tension. Dean and I turned to each other, knowing we had to go warn the rest of our party.

“These people count on you. They trust you.” Dean tried to counter.

“They trust me to kill the devil and to save the world and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.” DD replied coldly and hopelessly.

“No. Not like this, you're not. We are not gonna let you.” We start walking away and suddenly, Dean is knocked out.

I gasped and turned to DD. “DD please, I know you don’t want to do this, I know you don’t want to kill your friends, Castiel, just to kill the devil.” I was backed up against a tree as DD came closer.

“Y/n, I want to trust me (Dean). Like you said, you know me, but I can’t let him keep living. Not after having you die ‘cause of it. I really am sorry.” I didn’t get another word until the handle of DD’s shotgun went into my head.

I slowly start waking up to the sound of lots of gunfire. I stumble to get up. I was pretty sure I had a concussion. Everything is a little blurry and tilted. Dean is still knocked out and DD is nowhere to be found. 

“Dean, get up!” I shook him but he was not budging. I sighed in frustration and anxiety. I remembered why there was a lot of gunfire, the trap, and Cas.

“I'll be back Dean!” I tell him in his unconscious state and run to the building.

I enter as quickly and quietly as possible. There are dead Croats and sadly, there are some of our own, lying on the floor. I pick up a gun and go up the stairs where I find Cas killing a Croat.

“Cas!” I run up to him, he drops the body, and I run into his arms. “Oh thank God.” I whispered and tightened my grip on him. And so does he. We let go.

“I think that is what I miss most, is your hugs.” He says and I can see tears build up in his blue soulful eyes, mixed with regret and affliction.

“Can you promise me something?” He continued.

“Of course.” I nodded my head.

“When you get back will you uh hu-” His words suddenly stopped and blood slowly started to come out of his mouth.

“Cas!?” He slumps down revealing that a Demon had stabbed him in the back. The demon pulls out the knife and gives me a creepy smile.

“Aww did I kill your boyfr-” I pulled out my gun and shot him in the face not letting him have the fucking satisfaction of finishing his sentence.

“CAS! Cas, stay with me! It’s okay, I'll get help!” I frantically said, panic rushing through me.

“N/n you can’t even if…you could there is nothing that could help me in this timeline just stay with me please?” Cas said in between coughs. Blood is now spraying on his shirt. It was like deja vu- flashes of Sam flashed through my head.

“I’m here, Cas.” I pull his head on my lap and stroked his hair.

“Ha ha ha...” Cas somehow laughed through more coughing fits.

“How in the hell are you laughing right now?” I said while tears rolled down my cheeks.

“It’s just funny that a formal Angel is dying from something as simple as a stab wound, don’t you think?” He gave me a half-stoned smile.

“Ha, I don’t think it’s funny at all.” I sniffed.

“I'm sorry I can’t go see the lights.” I could feel he was slipping away quickly.

“Oh Cas don’t be sorry, I just always wanted you to live for you.” My tears were coming out and there was no stopping it.

“I was really stupid when you were still here.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I never told you how you changed me, how you gave me courage, how you taught me to lov-” He just stops.

“Cas! CAS!” I shook him hard now, a full-on waterfall coming down my face. “Cas…” I whispered. He was gone.

How come the people I care about keep dying? I thought.

There was a crack of lighting outside to pull me out of my thoughts. I looked down and saw … Sam.

“I’ll be back to bury you I promise.” I say in Cas’s ear and kiss his forehead.

I run outside to be met with a rose garden and Sam is in this full white suit, DD’s head under his foot. His backside is to me. DD sees me and tries to say something but is stopped by his neck being snapped.

“Y/n well, this is a surprise. I was just expecting our brother.” He said this so calmly like it was normal that it sent a chill down my spine.

“You are not Sam.” I circled him carefully.

“You're right, I'm not, but he does desperately want to see you, he’s begging me to come up to just speak to you for a minute. I mean, how could you blame him, his little sister has been dead for five years.” He tried to jab at me to get some type of an emotion to manipulate but I would not give in as all of it was expelled about two minutes ago. Dean then shows up behind him.

“You've come a long way to see this, haven't you?” He said to the both of us. Giving us sinister eyes and speaking like a snake.

“Well, go ahead. Kill us.” Dean blurts out. I mean, both of us will die anyway, I thought.

“Kill you?” He looks at DD, who is dead, then back at me with a confused look. 

“Don't you think that would be a little...redundant?” 

“I'm sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this—shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be.” Sam, or more technically, Lucifer, rebuttals back. He reaches for Dean and my shoulders but we both pull back. 

“You don't have to be afraid of me, you two. What do you think I'm going to do?” 

“You know we may not be full Bible knowledge holders but we do the major stuff of what you did and continue to do.” I fought back, not falling for his bullshit.

“Yeah, what she said.” Dean nodded at me in agreement.

“Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handiwork of God.” Neither of us wanted to hear these lies. “You ever hear the story of how I fell from grace?”

“No, but I’m sure you're going to annoyingly tell us.”

“Ahh Y/n, I have always loved your little quips. You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything. And then God created…” He smiles and turns his head down on us. “You. The little...hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you—to love you, more than him. And I said, ‘Father, I can't.’ I said, ‘These human beings are flawed, murderous.’ And for that, God had Michael cast me into hell. Now, tell me, does the punishment fit the crime? Especially, when I was right? Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it.” I hadn’t had the urge to punch someone so hard since Ruby.

“You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy-for-the-devil crap. We know what you are.” Dean said for the both of us.

“What am I?” 

“You're the same thing, only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I've been squashing our whole lives. An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.” Lucifer smiles at us like we are little kids playing cops and robbers.

“I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We'll meet again soon. And Y/n I’m sorry, I won’t be able to hear your funny lines again.” He turns away from us.

“You better kill me now!” Dean screams at him.

“Pardon?” 

“You better kill me now. Or I swear, I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop.”

“I know you won't. I know you won't say yes to Michael, either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up—here. I win. So, I win.”

“You're wrong.”

“See you in five years, Dean. Y/n, Sam loves you though I could give him that.” At that thunder and lighting crack, Lucifer disappears, and Dean and I turn to see Zachariah reaching for us.

“Wait! I have to bury Cas!” Of course, I didn’t get to.

Dean and I are dropped in Dean’s hotel room and we lean against the sink to catch our breaths.

“Oh, well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw you.” Dean said in annoyance.

“Enough. Dean, enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Your sister dies. Just say yes.”

“How do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks? Huh? Some angel hocus-pocus?”

“The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael. Say yes and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die.” He then turns to me.

“Y/n, you die, don’t you want to live, convince your brother.”

Dean and I are on the same page because at the same time we both say “Nah.”

“'Nah'? You two are telling me you haven't learned your lesson?” 

“Look, off-brand Disney channel character, I’m in charge of my future, not what you dicks have planned.” I poured a drink for Dean and I.

“And I've learned a lesson, all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach.” Dean quipped drinking back.

And anger just surges through him. “Well, I'll just have to teach it again! Because I got you now, boy, girl and I'm never letting you—”

We landed on the side of the road under a lamplight and Cas was standing there.

“That's pretty nice timing, Cas.” Dean let out a breath of relief.

“We had an appoi-” I didn’t let him finish before I threw my hands around him trying to take in everything about him. Trying to find his heartbeat ‘Thump Thump’ there it is.

“Sorry, I just…” How was I supposed to tell him? “Missed you.” I finished. Dean’s eyes went between us knowing the reason for the sudden hug and he tried to bring attention away from it.

“Cas don’t ever change.” He claps Cas’s shoulder in awe and a smile.

“How did Zachariah find you?”

“Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?”

“And Nun’s selling flowers.” Dean then pulls out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Cas asks. I glance down and see Sam’s name on his phone and I smile at it.

“Something I should have done in the first place.”

Dean and I are waiting by the Impala for Sam. His car pulls up and I send a quick prayer to whatever is out there that everything goes smoothly. Sam gets out and walks over slowly.

“Sam.” Dean pulls out the demon knife.

“If you're serious and you want back in...you should hang on to this. I'm sure you're rusty.” Wow Dean is actually listening to me, crazy, I thought. Sam takes the knife.

“Look, man, I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm...whatever I need to be. But I was, uh—wrong.” Dean confessed.

“What made you change your mind?” Sam asks and well a lot Sam.

“Long story. The point is...maybe we are each other's Achilles heel. Maybe they'll find a way to use us against each other, I don't know. I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human.”  The three of us I don’t know. I haven't really felt like this before. Not sure if we need these extra two sentences, maybe change this? 

“Thank you. Really. Thank you. I won't let you down.” Sam really was thankful.

“Oh, I know it. I mean, you are the second-best hunter on the planet.” Dean said, talking like a true older brother.

“Uh excuse me you mean third best hunter right?” I added in. My brothers both chuckle at me.

“So, what do we do now?” Sam asks.

“I’ll tell you what we do, Sam, we kick ass and take names and our future.” I ended.

“Guess we have no choice.”

[dumbslxtclub]

you’re on your own, kid | e.m - part nine (bonus chapter)

eddie munson x singlemom!reader

summary: set after the events of season four, Steve has disappeared and is presumed dead in the upside down. broken and now left to deal with your pregnancy alone, Eddie takes it upon himself to support you to the best of his abilities in Steve’s absence.

chapter summary: we learn the root of eddie’s longstanding guilt as he navigates the crossroads of your relationship.

content warnings: fem!reader, adult language, adult themes, unplanned pregnancy, angst, hurt/comfort, some canon divergence/au, mentions of death, reader is 19, anxiety, angst, fluff, no use of y/n, slow burn, not beta’d

word count: 2.8K+

a/n: cheeky little bonus chapter for you!! wanted to give eddie his moment in all his angsty glory, big shoutout to my bestie @dickfics69​ for beta reading this one and working with me over zoom to flesh out these thoughts. hope you enjoy!

taglist: @lezzy-bennet @harrypotteranna23-blog  @reidstea @sashaphantomhive  @bexreadstoomuch @audhd-dragonaut @littlepotatobeansworld @ches-86  @tlclick73 @fckyeahlames @gnocchey @astrolockley @sidthedollface2​

↳  one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight  / nine / ten / eleven

Part Nine: You Sunshine, You Temptress

The door swings closed behind Eddie, and shock hits him like a freight train bulldozing through his momentary confidence. The warmth of your skin still lingering on his fingertips, the flushed-pink of your lips practically grazing his still imprinted in his mind. Heart pounding, hands shaking, and the faintest smile playing on his lips. Fuck. He wonders if he should celebrate or criticize his actions, but he’ll have time for that later.

Lucky for him, it’s hard to sift through the onslaught of thoughts flooding his brain over Squid’s vocal crying bouncing off the thin walls of the living room. He flicks on the near-by lamp, illuminating her still bundled-up figure in the crib, squirming around in the confines of swaddle.

“Hey, chunky monkey.” Hands outstretched, he places a hand behind her head to support her neck, worming his other hand to her lower back. Lifting her up and out, he quickly readjusts to rest her into a cradle position. With her head nestled into the crook of his elbow, he begins lightly tapping on her side and bouncing gently. “Shhh, let’s give your mom a quiet night tonight, yeah?”

Sighing, he makes his way to the couch, assuming the same spot the two had spent a majority of their shared night. Once comfortable, he runs a finger delicately along her rosy cheek, mouth wide open to release a plethora of screams at maximum volume. He traces along her chubby cheek, around her eye and across her eyebrow, lightly stroking the bridge of her nose. With this new contact, the tickle must be relaxing to her with the cries slowly weaning off. He’s learning to read her like a book, desperately flicking through the rolodex in his mind searching for what might calm her down. And so, he continues the motion with the corners of his lips still upturned as he studies her tiny face. Up and down, small circles, repeating the motion until her cries morph into coos and soft grunts. Eyes fluttering open, she takes in the faintly lit room around her. Eddie grins as he sees her big brown eyes, gazing up at the plaster ceiling with the occasional babble. 

“There she is.” Pulling his feet up onto the coffee table, his knees are faced skywards in a semi-supine position while he relaxes back into the cushions behind him. With a dramatic huff, as if Squid weighs a tonne, he maneuvers her into the groove between his legs. With her head nestled comfortably between his knees, face now eye line with his, he gives her sides a small tickling squeeze. “Couldn’t sleep, huh? Yeah, me neither.”

Although he’s positive she couldn’t identify him at barely six-weeks old, he feels his stomach backflip as her eyes bore into his with a sense of recognition. Familiarity. Safety. Her cheeky face lights up at the sight of him, shooting him a wide and gummy smile, nestling further into the comfort of her swaddle. 

And then, it hits him. She was crying because she just wanted to see him. 

His heart swells, letting out a soft exhale, pure affection bubbling in his chest and threatening to boil over. God, Eddie wishes he had Jonathan’s camera with him right now, wanting this image immortalized forever. Another picture to add to the pair taped in his locker, getting to see that smile every time he swung open the metal door. But simultaneously, he would not wish for anything to take him out of this moment, no desire to see the perfect image in front of him through a lens. It wouldn’t compare. Wouldn’t even come close. It’s like he’s meeting her for the first time over and over, intently examining her features. He can’t believe something could be so small. So new. So perfect. And, as much as he hates to admit it, he thinks she might be growing into her head. Time to think up new ways to get under your skin.

The two sit there, the faint hum from your fridge the only sound aside from Squid’s gurgling as her eyelids grow heavy, unable to fight off the call of sleep any longer. Her lips contort into an O-shape as she yawns, all the while Eddie runs the back of his forefinger along her chin. And, for the last time, her eyes catch a glimpse of Eddie’s before closing to the world, adequately settled once again. The pair sit in silence, Eddie taking to playing with her mess of hair as he waits for confirmation that he can put her back in the crib without waking her. There’s no doubt she’s Steve’s daughter with the amount of soft, brown hair adorning her head. He takes to mindlessly combing it with his fingers, first brushing it all to one side as a sort of comb-over. Unsatisfied, he brings all of the hair to the middle, smiling giddily as he clasps his hands together in an upward motion. He continues brushing her hair inwards, watching his creation come to life. The mess of hair takes the form of a mohawk, the world’s smallest metalhead sleeping peacefully before him. He chuckles to himself, giving her cheeks one final squeeze before carrying her back to the crib. 

There’s a particular chill to the mid March air, the promise of warmer days a luxury not yet granted to the town of Hawkins. Amidst the leaves kicked up by each breeze and the occasional cluttering of a metal can along the gravel, Eddie sits with his knees tucked to his chest. A moment of sheer solitude alone on the steps of your trailer, embers from his cigarette being prematurely carried into the wind. Nestled between his middle and forefinger, Eddie’s lips wrap around the filter, taking in a long drag of tobacco, allowing the haze of smoke to fill his lungs as it has countless times before. 

He’s not unfamiliar with the early hours, the eerie loneliness it brings to those few unfortunate enough to experience it. Intimately acquainted with the hues of gray and purple penetrating through the thin covering of lingering cloud forms, the view grounding him numerous times after waking from yet another nightmare depicting red skies and suffering. Images burned into his mind’s eye, inescapable and so tangible he feels he could reach out and touch them if he so desired. Breathe in the dense fog, allow it to coat his lungs with a thick layer of desperation. Wrap his fingers around Steve’s dirt-covered bicep, try helplessly to pull him to his feet. Press firmly into the wound carved deep into his abdomen to stop the waste of blood seeping out. Every night, no reprieve, reminded of what he didn’t do. 

Hands shake subconsciously as he once again returns the cigarette to his parted lips. It’s been the same story stuck on repeat like a broken record since the day the group returned without one member. The story that resulted in countless nights of lost sleep. The story no one is more desperate to believe than Eddie. 

He couldn’t bring himself to accept any other versions of the events, not with the implications they carry. And yet, day by day, his perfectly crafted web begins to collapse under the weight of new information. Carefully spun silk methodically weaved into a pattern of his choosing, now fracturing and threatening to break apart. How could he begin to explain it to you? And how could he ever expect your forgiveness once you knew the truth?

He wonders some days if it’s possible to be completely consumed by guilt, swallowing him whole and plunging him into a purgatory of his own creation. He should have told you. He should have told you the first night the group returned, at your trailer. Before he knew about Squid. Before he began to care. Before he grew attached.

There are facts, and then there are assumptions, hopes without tangible proof growing more and more likely to be true. Dustin and Robin were as bad as each other when it came to making mountains out of molehills, finding the smallest pattern in their daily lives and deconstructing it until they inevitably arrived at the same conclusion. With each speculation, Eddie grew increasingly more anxious, hoping to keep their conspiracies out of your earshot. But he couldn’t deny the mounting list of strange happenings. Robin’s recollection of the flickering lights in her home, divulged mere hours after Squid was born. Strapping the carrier to Eddie’s chest before running to a strangely familiar van sitting in the Hawkins supermarket parking lot, its occupants spent the day seeking her out. And then tonight, a frantic Dustin peddling his bike all the way to the trailer park, breathless and shaking as he announced the news before whisking Robin away. 

Owens found something. 

That was all the information Eddie had to work with at the moment, and he would love to say it was all he was privy to. Ignorance is bliss, and he was afflicted with too much knowledge. 

He allowed you to feel hopeless.

He encouraged the intimation that Steve was gone. 

He did all of this, knowing fully well that Owens had been looking for Steve since day one.

Guilt morphing into pressure, sinking him further into a dark sea of half-truths that should never have been spoken. Haunted by a pact made by the group, covered in the blood of others as they crawled out of the remaining gateway to a life now unfamiliar to them. He knew what he was getting into.

Shaking his head, he stomps his long since burnt-out cigarette butt to the ground. Eddie knew better than to let you in, to grow as attached to the pair of you as he’s become. His miserable existence is a movie, the ending of which he’s seen dozens of times before. A jangling of keys, a slam of a door, a scuffling of rocks under worn tyre. Everyone leaves, eventually. Yet, he can’t shake the feeling that he may be in too deep this time, finding pieces of you in the deepest recesses of his soul. Like children exchanging trading cards to complete their own collection, going out of their way to fulfill what the other lacked. He could have kept the first exchange civil, one acquaintance looking out for another during a time of need. Whose need was greater was something Eddie failed to consider. A burden in his childhood, unwanted by his parents and discarded at the first possible chance. A failure in his adolescence, rebelling against the status-quo and reducing himself to a portrait of what the world expected him to be. And at rock bottom, as he trudged along the gravel driveway of the trailer park he called home, gut heavy with culpability and survivor’s guilt. Plagued by his past, and hopeless for the future, he heard it. Your wails cut through the silence of the park, a physical manifestation of the despair looming in the night air. The kind of anguish that he has seldom vocalized, but is intimately acquainted with. Like a wounded deer on the side of the road, body weak with suffering and begging for mercy, he approached your door with an air of humaneness. Armed with only his innate sense of compassion, he comforted you from a distance, keeping his walls firmly in place. 

Walls that were being deconstructed brick-by-brick with every late return overlooked, every firm kick beneath tender skin, every soft exhale as sleep danced across your eyelids. His carefully constructed edifice of detachment now non-existent, uncomfortably open to the uncharted terrain that comes with emotional involvement. And he can’t help but fear that his intentions have turned self-serving, enjoying being at your beckoning call. Willing to crawl to the ends of the earth if it puts a smile on either of your faces. 

Selfish.

The week following Squid’s birth, Eddie picked up a shift at the auto-shop after reassurance that his presence wouldn’t be needed around the trailer. He planted his decade-old backpack at his feet before the metal lockers, clicking the combination he was assigned until the access was granted. From the front pocket, he rifled through until his fingers found the glossy paper of the fresh image. Securing adhesive putty to the four corners of the sheet, he mounted it in his locker beside the ultrasound, pressing it down firmly with his thumbs. A scuffle of boots on laminate flooring was followed by his co-worker’s cheery voice. 

“Look at that! Your girl had her baby, hm?”

Eddie spun around to the older man beside him, his wide grin openly displaying neglected and yellowing canines. 

“Oh, yeah. She did.” Eddie shuffled uncomfortably, wading knee-deep in the waters of the lie he’s created. The man scooted closer, studying the image. “Her name’s officially Audrey, but I’m still rooting for Squid.”

Bob (maybe Ed, who cares), face gruff with deep-set wrinkles in his crow’s feet, chuckles at the image. It’s not hard to imagine the image evokes memories of his own children’s births, kids who have long since moved away and now try to call once a month. 

“Congratulations, son. That girl looks like she’s got a good head on her shoulders." His oil-stained forefinger indicates to you, wide grinned in the hospital bed. Eddie smiles.

“Yeah, she sure does.”

“Take good care of ‘em, you’re a lucky fella.”

And with a squeeze on the younger boy’s shoulder, Eddie’s co-worker retrieves his lunch pail from his respective locker and pulls an old baseball cap over his balding head, bidding Eddie farewell. The two innocuously spoken words reverberate through his mind, heating his heart in a way he wasn’t accustomed to. 

Your girl. 

The dam breaks before Eddie is cognitively aware of it, suppressed emotions boiling over like an unwatched pot on the stove, neglected and unable to be further contained. Hot tears streak down his wind-burnt cheeks, hand quickly finding his mouth to stifle his untrustworthy exhales. He squeezes his sleep-deprived eyes shut, relishing in the burning sensation on his waterline. Every fiber of his body urges him to let out a scream into the quiet trailer park, as if that will absolve the heartache in his body. Instead, he resorts to choking out unsteady gasps of air between his tightly linked fingers, the steady stream cascading from his eyes along the grooves of his cheeks. He validates his greatest fear, allowing his guilt to overwhelm any self-love he granted himself. He didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve you. A boy in man’s clothes, playing house with the girl next door, as if that would make him feel whole. 

And it did. It made him feel needed. 

Wanted. 

Loved. 

He was quick to shut down your admission earlier, but still endures the aftermath of the shared sentiment. Sometimes, I’m glad he’s gone. What a fucking awful thing to think, let alone speak into existence. Of course, he felt no judgment when the words softly left your lips, understanding completely where you were coming from. But now, he can’t help but think of the implications should Steve return. And all will be right in the world. Squid’s dad will be back in the picture, something he always longed for her to have. A position he was happy to fill in the interim, now surely slipping from his grasp. What could have been, destined to exist as unlived dreams tucked into the bottom drawer of his mind. With all the love he has for the two of you, and he doesn’t know where to put it now. It’s too heavy to carry on his own. 

His gaze flickers to the temptation of the unoccupied trailer across from him, his bed empty and awaiting. 

Cold. Desolate. Lonely. 

The familiar comfort it brings, however solitary it may be. He was used to it. But after all he’s experienced, he’s not sure if he can go back to that way of living. His mind goes to the little girl, snuggled up in her crib, blissfully unaware of the plight around her. And you, wrapped up in cotton sheets and exhaustion, waiting for him to return through your slumber. How easy it would be to lay down next to you on the plush mattress, wrap his arms around you and hold you close to him as he longed to. To inhale the scent of shampoo lingering in your hair, press his lips to the nape of your neck, feel your warmth beneath his undeserving lips But, then again, how could he deserve such an unearned luxury?

Instead, he remains paralytic for a moment longer, occupying the space of limbo between his two comforts. A man destined to fail from the moment he was born, he cannot envision a scenario in which he is absolved of his guilt. 

His heartache. 

His love.

[formulapookie]

BEZ/JORGE MARTIN 34

Hiihihihihihihihihihihihihihi

"anonimo" amo lo so che sei te

34 as a suggestion

The Aprilia feels fantastic, him and Martin have already won three out of the first four races of the year, and have always been on podium, Sprint or Long Race, never missing an opportunity to shine.

Jorge's leading by three points, he's second, Marc and Pecco 15 and 19 points behind.

He feels good again, this bike is adapting to him like the One Ring, he feels complete, not like he's in need to understand the bike, but it's like the bike understands him.

They're currently partying in a club Aprilia booked for the night, an unholy amount of drinks flowing to the tables, he doesn't have the time to finish one there's another in his hand again.

Rivola is doing karaoke, some mechanics are doing shots at the bar and the majority of the crew is dancing or drinking on the side couches.

Martin has been lurking around him for a while instead, sipping on what seemed to be the same cocktail for an hour now, casting glances at him.

His eyes felt predatory, like those of a wild cat, waiting for one wrong move on his part.

Half an hour passes and Jorge is directly next to him, the cocktail changed, it's green now.

"Mh good race Marco, really, you left all of us behind by 4 seconds it was really good" "Thanks, I got lucky when Pecco fell in front of me and I had no one battling with us" "I think you'd have won anyway, you're looking like a really tough opponent this year, I think I'll have fun with you"

And it feels strange the way he says it, a bit too close to his ear, but maybe it's just the drinks, still, Martin has now got a hand on his bicep, dancing with his fingertips on it.

Bez is slow to realise, but in two split seconds Jorge is kissing him, and he can taste the last drink he's had on his lips.

He looks at him puzzled, him and Jorge weren't on those terms, he knew Pecco had something going on with him but that was it.

"The kiss was just a suggestion, do you want to go somewhere a bit more private with me?"

And once again, maybe it's the drinks, but the way Jorge's licking his lips makes him nod and follow him.

I AM NEVER WRITING THEM AGAIN I'M TRAUMATISED BY MYSELF PRODUCING THIS (jokes they might work next season for many tropes)

Send me a Ship name and a Number and i'll write a kiss

[astramachina]

For those of you who've been following me for a while now, there's a good chance you got to experience my journey reading the Remembrance of Earth's Past series last year. I loved Three-Body Problem, but The Dark Forest and Death's End were like pulling teeth. Both books had their very very good moments, but getting through them was a tedious experience I considered giving up on on multiple occasions. I will give it to Cixin Liu tho, I needed to know how the series ended and that alone was the sole reason I pushed towards the finish line. Any author that can make me tough out bad writing for the sake of seeing the end deserves some kind of award (and he won a ton anyway, so).

I approached the Netflix series with zero expectations given their propensity for shitty adaptations (One Piece notwithstanding), but after watching the first episode I was left cautiously optimistic.

Having watched all 8 episode I'm still unsure how to feel about it. I spent most of the series hitting pause to rant at my roommate about it, both positively and negatively.

I had many issues with the books, but some of the more obvious ones came from a writing standpoint. I love hard sci-fi. I could not excuse the sheer length of those final two books. The atrocious treatment of women as objects to romance and use as bartering for the main character. The abysmal MCs (specifically Luo Ji) that made me want to yell to the high heavens due to annoying they were. The lack of human connection between characters.

For books so steeped in sociopolitical and ethical commentaries, the flagrant misogyny and homophobia was eye-rolling. And not even in a "This is Bad" sort of way, just in a "This is So Fucking Boring" kind of way. I cannot speak for the author's biases, because the contents of a book in no way reflects the views of an author or their character.

Where the books shone the brightest were during the battle scenes, the looming dread, genuinely horrific thought experiments.

And, surprisingly? It feels like the people at Netflix thought the same.

I've never watched Game of Thrones but I understood why people were against it from the get-go. That, along with the whole "whitewashing" thing which I consider to be interesting. For starters, you're using whitewashed wrong. Yes, they moved the central story from China to England which was... a fascinating choice, but of the core five (that quickly became the core four), only two of them are white. I'm not saying it was okay for a western adaptation to take a cast and further diversify it, I'm just saying that that's not whitewashing.

That aside, I did like some of the choices that were made from a narrative standpoint. Reshuffling and streamlining events, for one. Removing the whole plot line about Luo Ji hunting down a woman who he invented in his head in order to marry her? I'm not entirely sold on the idea of taking core events and divvying them up between four different people, but I do understand what they're trying to do.

The book series failed at crafting believable and impactful relationships between its human characters, which made the narrative feel hollow and one-dimensional. This adaptation aimed to change this by slapping a band-aid over the issue. Like I said, I'm still unsure of how I feel about this.

A lot of unnecessary stuffing was removed to make a suitable run time, and I say unnecessary because there's really no scenes that are making me go "oh, I wish this had been included". Was some stuff rushed? Yes. The passage of time could have been outlined a little better, but that's a small nitpick on my end.

The scale of things was toned down, and I don't think Netflix has the capability (or budget) to tackle space battles.

Honestly? I don't really see this getting a second season for a variety of reasons, and I'd be okay with that.

It was an "okay" watch, in the end.

Tho, I'm still flabbergasted by the random "gory scary jumpscare" scenes????? Where did those come from??? I don't remember anything like that being in the books but, you know. I've read a lot more books since finishing these, so.

[cereal-before-milk]

Q-TA MINAMI

is a non-binary, bisexual, and feminist mangaka. Their manga stands out for dealing with issues such as sexuality, both in adolescence and adulthood, motherhood or everyday life. Which is why the demographics in which they are best known are seinen and especially josei.

Also known as Kyuta Minami, were born in Unnan City in Shimane Prefecture on January 13, 1969, although they currently live in Tokyo.

Q-ta graduated from Joshibi University of Art and Design Junior College Department of Design. Minami began working as a doujinshi artist during college and continued after graduating. Although at first they weren't very successful and couldn't make a living from it, so Kyuta was a "Pooh/ Poo Taro" (プータロー slang for unemployed, normally this term is not used in homeless people -wikipedia). During that time, they were living in the south exit of Koenji, Suginami-ku, Tokyo. That is why it is believed that hence their name, "South (Minami) Q-ta" (南 Q 太).

Their "official" debut on a large scale and that had an impact on the market was in 1992, with the Let's Play (Asobi ni ikô yo) manga in Wanimagazine (an adult/erotic content magazine) and obtained a mention Honorary Young Jump Rockie Award. Although already in 1990, the mangaka obtained an honorable mention in the Afternoon Four Seasons Award, in a category of young cartoonists, this caused them to take two years off. Those were the beginnings of what would be a long run of honorable mentions, such as the 1994 "Weekly Young Jump" rookie award, awards and drama adaptations of his manga, such as Yura Yura, which was dramatized in 2003 by the television channel of BS-i (now BS-TBS) in the Drama "Koisuru Sunday".

1996 and 1997 were very important years for Kyuta since they published manga in up to 3 different publishers, including the great Shueisha. All that variety made Minami achieve greater recognition and even loyal fans of their manga.

About their private life, Q-ta has been married three times and divorced twice. Their first marriage was with the mangaka Sabe, with whom they had their first daughter. After her birth, the mangaka changed her style a bit and began to make more childish manga and dedicate it to their daughter, like the manga Children's Games, published in 2003, which contains her personal experiences.

Their second marriage was with the poet Koichi Masuno, in between their first son was born. But there were bad feelings between the mangaka and the poet, so after the marriage, Masuno agreed that he would see his son once a month, something that Q-ta tries to avoid. The poet wrote novels and essays showing his resentment and even regret for the divorce (in case you are interested the book is Marriage disqualification, I have only found it in Japanese), in this he said that the mangaka earned more money than him.

Minami's last marriage is with the manga editor and ex-husband of mangaka Marie Yasuhiko, Masami Otsuka. With Masami, they had a son and a daughter, in addition to the son the publisher had with his first wife. So while raising a total of 5 children and taking care of 4 cats, Q-ta Minami managed to publish more than 40 manga, many of which are short stories or one shots, but unfortunately very few have been published outside of Japan.

Their drawing style reminds me of Kyoko Okazaki's style. It could be said that mangakas like Q-ta Minami continued with the legacy that the mangaka left empty, even if it was in an unrelated way. In fact, Q-ta is considered post-Kioko. It is noticeable at first glance that their drawings stand out for the almost absence of detail, although the dialogues in his scenes also follow the same pattern. With the slightest bit, the mangaka immerses us in their stories that are closely linked to the day-to-day life of women, girls, adolescents, and young adults.

Their manga are very peculiar (just like Minami) and they are closely linked to the everyday, to the weight of the monotonous and to trying to break that monotony that we have all faced at some point. Or not, the mangaka may simply want to demonstrate the drama that can exist in the "simplicity" of everyday life and, on many occasions, adding eroticism. And something that is a pleasure to read about their mangas is how Q-ta treats the sexuality of women, especially in adolescence/ young woman. Minami isn't t afraid to delve into a topic, which is often silenced or treated from a male gaze, and show how the girls who are the protagonists of their manga enjoy (in many cases) discovering and showing her sexuality.

➳ SAYONOARA MIDORI-CHAN 1997

*It isn't suitable for all audiences. It contains adult material*

- demographic: josei

- genre: romance, slice of life, drama

- French

Yuko, the protagonist, is a 20-year-old girl who is not very clear about things or what she wants in life, with the exception of one thing, her "boyfriend" Yutaka. She doesn't have hobbies or friends, nor does she look for them, although with two jobs it's not like she has time for it either. At night, she works in a bar next to where Yutaka works. That's where all the misfortunes happen to the protagonist, some even dangerous. Yuko should never have taken that job.

It is a very short story, so risking I will say that you do not expect a sublime masterpiece. Even so, it will surprise you how, in only 7 chapters, the characters are so well written and are so realistic that you can even identify with them. The narrated situations, the union between the employees, the relationship between the protagonists, the friction between the women, etc. They are things that could have happened to you, and that makes it interesting.

- in 2005 it was adapted to live action.

➳ POP LIFE 2016-2018

- demographic: seinen

- genre: slice of life

- English

Sakura, a mangaka, and Akemi, an event organizer, are two single mothers who end up living together and supporting each other in raising their children. The two families live in a somewhat small apartment, which could suggest that it makes it difficult for two small children, a 16-year-old teenager and two women, leading a comfortable life. But the reality is completely different and mothers seem to be happier in their new lifestyle than in the life they led before.

A breath of fresh air on motherhood, taken in a realistic way, showing broken families, but in a certain way complete. Although it is not only about motherhood, but also about death or how to handle a divorce. Many of the experiences that we see in both women are taken from the author's life, narrated from another perspective.

➳ HANDS OFF MY GIRL 2005

*It contains adult material*

- demographic: josei

- genre: slice of life

- Spanish

It is a compilation of a total of 8 stories, each one with a different genre, but all with the Q-ta Minami touch, so it cannot be classified into a specific genre, although the most abundant is slice of life.

The vast majority of these stories contain explicit sex, from TL to GL (yuri). But it is much deeper, it is not only simple eroticism. Hands off my Girl also deals with topics such as lies, jealousy, infidelity, unrequited romance, etc. Like in the second story, Broken Into Pieces, where the protagonist has sex with the man she loves, but he has a girlfriend, and he is supposed to love her more than the protagonist.

But there is something very curious, and it is that the last two stories have nothing to do with the rest. Diary of Another Young Girl narrates the life of a 10-year-old girl who is always in the clouds, has no friends and only trusts her cousin. And Days Spent with Her is an autobiographical chapter of the mangaka that narrates what a day is like with her and her daughter, who is still a baby.

➳ THE BLOOD RED BOY 2022

- English/ Spanish

- genre: drama, romance, bl

It is a very interesting one shot and only has 16 pages. The protagonists are nothing alike, they lead completely different lives and the only thing they have in common is the bar where they are going to drink and the reality from which they are fleeing. It is a story that touches on topics from gender to loneliness and the search for self-love. These are like pieces of an incomplete puzzle and you are the one who has to fill in the missing gaps.

➳ NOT ALL GIRLS ARE STUPID 1996-1997

*It contains adult material*

- demographic: josei

- English

Guess what? Another compilation of interesting short stories. Where girls start to discover their sexuality, fall in love, get disappointed and live their lives the way they want. Although there will be misfortunes, toxic relationships, unwanted pregnancies, infidelities and a lot of detail from the Q-ta Minami brand.

Q-ta Minami's stories are not characterized by being extraordinarily long so these are ideal to read when you don't have much time, but I really don't know what you are waiting for to give them a chance.

[spideyprongs]

do you dare? part three

pairing: remus lupin x female!reader

summary: it's christmas season at hogwarts, and remus lupin finds himself and his friends stuck inside the school for the holidays. when searching through the library, remus finds a book he hasn't noticed there before—a notebook—and the front reads one simple question: do you dare?

or remus and y/n give each other dares to complete through a notebook, not knowing who was on the other side of the pages.

or a remus lupin fanfic loosely based on the netflix show dash and lily

part two part four

When Remus woke the next morning, he had one thing on his mind: the notebook.

He knew the chances of the notebook being placed at this hour were low, but he couldn't get the object off of his mind. Or, well, maybe it wasn't exactly the object he was thinking of, but the girl behind the words he was reading. He was so curious to find out more about her, and though he would never admit it to anyone, he was actually having fun passing the notebook back and forth with the other.

Remus debates on his chances of leaving the dorm without his flatmates waking up, since it has to be early, and decides his chances must be very high. With that in mind, Remus quietly moves from under his cover, grabs a fresh set of clothes from his drawer, and sneaks his way to the bathroom. He quickly changes his clothes, does his daily routine, before walking out.

From the looks of it, the three boys are still sound asleep in their beds. Remus had a feeling he would get away with no one noticing, as he has to admit, the other boys tend to sleep like the dead. So, he makes his way to the door with a sly grin on his face.

"What's got you up so early, Moony?"

Remus stops in his tracks, turning to see James Potter, very clearly awake in his bed. Remus sighs softly, knowing he has been caught. How is he supposed to answer this question? Does he tell James the truth and risk sounding like a crazy person? How does one tell their friend, 'I'm going to the muggle studies room to see if the notebook I have been passing back and forth with a mysterious girl was left at the saddest Christmas book' without sounding insane?

Remus decided the best choice would be avoiding the question, "I could ask you the same, Prongs."

"Lily and I are getting breakfast at Hogsmeade this morning, and spending the morning getting Christmas gifts for everyone," James smiles. It's the same goofy, lovestruck smiles James always gets at the though of Lily Evans. Remus would have rolled his eyes if he wasn't in such a weirdly great mood. James continues, "And you, dear Moony?"

"I have to check out something in the Muggle Studies room, someone was supposed to leave something in there for me," Remus explain, and James looks confused for a split second, but eventually shrugs his shoulders with a nod.

Remus leaves the room, and has to stop himself from running straight to the classroom. Not many students are awake at this hour, but he knows it would look very strange for him to be running to the muggle studies classroom at this time. So, Remus tries his best to keep his composure, but he can't help feeling so excited. It's like he knows the notebook will be sitting there, waiting for him.

When Remus finally arrives in the classroom, he goes straight to what he believes to be the saddest Christmas story of all: The Fir Tree by Hans Christian Anderson. He read it at this time, last year, and it dampened the already bad mood he was in. So he goes straight to the aisle, knowing the book would be placed there and is so ready to see his response. He checks the aisle hopefully, and...

Nothing.

No notebook is there. Remus tries not to think the worst, so he decides to scope out the rest of the room, incase he might have forgotten a sadder Christmas story. He searches each shelf, hunting for the red-leather spine he grew so fond of. His luck is not looking good, and he begins to think Clue Girl decided his answer simply wasn't good enough. Was he being too whiney in his response? Maybe he shouldn't have been so honest about his feelings towards Christmas? Did he scare her off?

Then, Remus sees the spine of the notebook resting in the section of Children's stories. A smile grows onto his face, and when he grabs the notebook, he sees the interesting choice it was resting by. With a shrug, Remus open the notebook and flips to Clue Girl's newest entry. Remus then begins reading.

Dear Mystery Boy, I have to admit, you answer did surprise me. You might be the first person I have ever known admit to hating Christmas. I will say, I think you might have been misled by me, as we are not as similar as you had first thought. I actually love Christmas; something about this time of year has always felt so special. Usually, I spend Christmas with my family, but this year they decided to go on a trip and leave me here. SO I guess we can relate on having a shitty  Christmas this year.

Well, Remus had not been expecting this answer. He did think she sounded quite like him, but maybe he was projecting his feelings on the holiday onto her. Though, it seems she is having just as terrible of a time here as he, if not worse. Remus continue reading her response.

Now, I am guessing you might be surprised by my answer for the saddest Christmas story, but I have good reasoning for picking How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The Grinch was outcasted his whole life, and when he decided to take revenge against the people that made him feel such a way, his plans are foiled by a little girl. Sure, the book is meant to send children a good message, but the life of the Grinch was undeniably sad.

Remus finds himself smiling, and if he had to guess, it's probably a smile as goofy as James when he thinks of Lily, that Remus makes fun of constantly. He can't help it: Clue Girl has a sense of humor, for sure, and he cannot help but get more intrigued by her with each notebook entry. She is something different than most people he knows, which is why he is waiting for the answer to his last question. Remus keeps reading, hoping to get the answer he wants.

Mystery Boy, I know you asked for my name, but I don't know if you have earned it yet. Though, I have come up with a way for you to learn my name, if you're up for the challenge.

That was not exactly the answer Remus was expecting, but he is always up for a challenge. He is curious to see what it is that Clue Girl has in store for him, though.

As we both know, all the good children get this Christmas wishes granted by Saint Nick himself. That's how the story goes, right? I would have you ask Santa for my name, but I don't think he would come to Hogwarts for something so simple, and how do I know you've been a good boy this year? 

Hogwarts does have someone with a close resemblance to that of Santa Claus, though. And he might have something for you, but you might have to get a little naughty in order to get it. If you really want to know my name, I would check Dumbledore's office. He might just have a little piece of paper with the answer you're looking for.

Okay, so Clue Girl is much more mischievous than Remus had originally thought. Including Dumbledore was definitely not something Remus was expecting, but for Clue Girl, he would do almost anything. And Clue Girl must not realize who she is speaking with, because distracting Dumbledore is basically a piece of cake. How many times has he had to get the map back from Dumbledore's office while the other boys distracted him? That number is probably too high to count, at this point.

Clue Girl might think of this as a challenge, but it is no challenge when it comes to the Marauders.

"Would you like to explain this situation once more for me, Moony? I would just like a better understanding as to why I was woken up at the ass-crack of dawn to distract Dumbledore for you." Sirius complains.

Remus rolls his eyes, "I told you, I have been writing back and forth with a girl in a notebook, and in order to find out her name, I have to steal a paper from Dumbledore's office. Now, pay attention to the map! Are you sure Dumbledore isn't in there?"

Sirius checks the map once more, "Dumbledore is still chatting with Mcgonagall on the other side of the castle, just like he was when you asked 5 seconds ago. The longer you stall, Moony, the more likely he is to catch you. Just go in there, get the paper, and get out before we both get caught and have detention on winter holidays!"

Remus nods, slowly opening the door to the office. He has been in Dumbledore's office many times before, so he does know his way around the place. He quickly moves to the desk, searching through the many pieces of parchment for the name of his Clue Girl. 

For some reason, Remus is coming up empty handed. He is completely sure the notebook said the paper would be sitting on Dumbledore's desk, waiting for him. Isn't that what the notebook said? Now, Remus begins to question himself. It seems obvious the paper is not actually on the desk, so before Remus begins to panic, he starts frantically searching around the rest of the office for where the paper could be hiding. 

Remus is not having good luck in finding this paper. He has checked under cabinets, inside drawers, between books on the bookshelf, yet is still empty handed. The one place Remus hadn't checked was Dumbledore's mysterious cauldron. There's no way the paper would be in there, right? He might as well check, just incase. Remus makes his way to the cauldron, about to peak inside, when suddenly...

"Mr. Lupin, I wasn't expecting a visit from you today. Nor do I remember my office being such a mess when I left."

Remus whips around, "Hello, Professor! Such a nice day outside, isn't it? Doesn't the snow look beautiful on the castle?" He tries to play it cool, but if anyone can see through him, it's Professor Dumbledore.

Dumbledore smiles, "I believe it must be you this message was left for, correct?" Dumbledore pulls the paper he was searching for out of his sleeve. Remus nods enthusiastically, as Dumbledore continues, "Normally, I wouldn't be happy that you were meddling in my office, but I will let it slide this once. When I was your age, I was in love. Though he is no longer here, and didn't turn out like I had expected, I will always feel grateful towards him for showing me what love is. I cannot deny that feeling from you, Remus."

Dumbledore hands him the paper, and Remus stares at him in shock, his mouth slightly agape. "I'm not in trouble, Professor? I destroyed your office searching for this!"

Dumbledore simply shakes his head, a smile on his face. He speaks once more, "Mr. Lupin, you are not in trouble. Plus, I have always had a soft spot for you four. Now, go read the letter, and please tell Mr. Black to pay more attention when he's on guard-duty next time."

Remus nods his head, walking to the door of the office with the letter in his hand. He reads the message from Clue Girl as he walks.

I hope Dumbledore didn't punish you too badly for wrecking his office searching for this letter. Maybe I should have mentioned it was with him, but I thought this way would be more fun. And, mystery boy, I have to say you have definitely earned my name now.

Y/n.

Now, leave this notebook at this first table in the dining hall. And, mystery boy, I believe since you have learned by name, it is only fair I learn yours. 

Who are you, mystery boy?

"Well," Sirius asks, "Did you get her name?"

Remus smiles, "I did, her name is Y/n."

Siruis nods, "I like that name."

The two boys begin to walk away. Remus has a smile sitting on his face when he finally puts down the letter, and he doesn't even try to hide it. He nods to Sirius's words, saying more to himself than anything, "Yeah, I do too."

[julietwiskey1]

What if ATLA had 6 seasons, the War trilogy (books 1-3) and the Post-War trilogy (Books 4-6)?

This is a question that I think is harder then the four season question. Usually as a constraint I would want to keep the same tone and maturity level of the show. But I think an additional three seasons will need to be more mature and tackle more political questions that don’t quite fit the original show.

First three seasons are the same. Only major difference is we don’t need to speed run Zuko’s redemption at the end, we can start it and finish it in the fourth season. Then we mirror the last three seasons with the first, where it went water, Earth, Fire now it goes Fire, Earth, Water and we watch the gaang shrink down each season instead of grow.

I would start the season with a search for Ursa that fails. We see Zuko take charge as a leader and Azula’s uncertainty in the world and after her breakdown. Azula manages to give the group the slip at the end and head off on her own. Through out the season Zuko and the gaang face threats to the throne and the questions over the colonies and other conquered territory. Azula joins up with the bad guys and it’s a question of if she is truly with them. Half way through she is betrays them and saves Zuko and the gaang and rejoins the group as fully redeemed and accepted. Later half is her becoming friends with Ty Lee and Mai again. The season ends with them finding Ursa and the Fire Nation people staying behind as the gaang head to the Earth Kingdom, though they still show up for arcs and episodes in upcoming seasons.

Season five is earth and focused on Toph and Earth Kingdom politics. Toph is working towards teaching metal bending and opening up her own academy. They fight rouge Fire Nation units and the like. But also succession of Bumi’s rule of Omashu is explored and the Dai Li continued rule in Ba Sing Se. As inner turmoil still besets Ba Sing Se we see them try and help King Kuei become the leader he needs to be. Perhaps if we are feeling bold we can question the full extent of the White Lotus interest in the city and if it is for the good of the Earth Kingdom or self interest. Jet and the other freedom fighters make a return and can play the hero’s when the gaang needs them. The season ends with Toph going home, being accepted by her parents and opening up her academy where we say goodbye to her.

Season six, the final season, we are left with just Sokka, Katara, and Aang. With a focus split between Aang looking for his people and Sokka and Katara trying to restore theirs. We see Sokka become a strong leader and growing into his own and becoming ready to pick up the mantle of chief when his father is ready to move on, perhaps even taking it for awhile when his father is injured. Katara searches out for SWT bending texts and she takes up Hama as a master where we have a redemption arc for Hama (or better yet this is our first introduction to her character and other survivors of the death camps). Aang continues his search for his people with hints of them being out their but ever elusive. The climax for the season is the village being once again strong and they are able to resist an invasion by either Pirates or former Fire Navy, showing their renewed strength. But we have another episode to close off the show. Probably just an extended Iroh’s tea shop episode where we see everyone that we have been saying by to for the past three seasons one last time (happy Azula with her Mom!). For the very end we see Aang say goodbye to everyone leaving by himself only for the final shot to be of him finding a surviving Air Nomad.

Let me know what y’all think. This was just my first idea and playing with mirroring the first three seasons onto the past three seasons. Though their are probably better ways to tell a story. I’m particularly worried of not enough going on and cutting back the cast as we get closer to the end.

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

"It Doesn't Come as a Shock" 

Ferguson spoke with Collider's Editor-in-Chief Steve Weintraub in advance of the finale, and offered her reaction to how Juliette must have been feeling when she realized the truth. It seems clear that the air may well truly be toxic outside, so she will be praying the tape securing her suit is working as it should.

"I mean, obviously it doesn't come as a shock," said Ferguson. "I knew it was coming. It was more, how are they going to set it up and how we were going to shoot it, and how do you sell everything that's happening? You know, the lie within the lie, what she sees, the fact that we were walking on one spot. They put a camera in my helmet, and I was kind of walking on a treadmill kind of thing. But, it's so grand, it's so huge." She went on to say:

"The fact that these people have been locked up and underground for 200 years, not knowing what an option is, and to act that, the vast ongoing view of the sky, of the horizon, there's so much in that. You know, a lot of people say, “How does she react to what she sees?” I don't think she understands what she sees. At this point, it's so overwhelming, and the stress of wondering if the tape is going to hold, I think that's enough."

Ferguson continued, "It's also, what is the truth? You know, you look at our world, and you sometimes think things that we see...I don't want to compare it in that sense. I want to believe that I'm much more astute in what's happening in the world than what they are, sadly enough, with the whispers and the spies in the walls. But I sometimes think, what's gonna happen in 50 years in the future, and we look at ourselves now and think, “How were we so dumb? Why did we believe that?” What are we believing now as a reality, you know? I'm fully a believer in questioning everything."

How Much is Left in the Tank? 

Silo is based on and adapted from the post-apocalyptic science-fiction series by Hugh Howey. The series commenced its journey in 2011 with the introduction of the short story "Wool," which eventually found its place in a novel bearing the same title, alongside four subsequent novellas. In addition to "Wool," the series encompasses "Shift," "Dust," three standalone short stories, and even a captivating graphic novel adaptation of the original narrative.

Ferguson confirmed that she knows everything that would happen in the series, having done her due diligence and read all of the required material. Not only that, when Weintraub asked about working with showrunner Graham Yost, Ferguson praised him for ensuring all 10 scripts for the season were done ahead of shooting, allowing for a smooth process, something she was keen on as an executive producer.

"I have read Dust, Shift and Wool. I've read all three books if that answers your question, and I shall not say anything else. I have all 10 scripts for the second season. We had the same when we started shooting Season 1. That's how Graham (Yost) works. That's what we have now for Season 2. You lock them in, you work with them. Yeah, all 10. And also, I believe as an EP I think I wanted to have the control over the character prior to signing on to things."

Ferguson went on to say, "To be honest, watching Graham work with his team—I mean, people put that EP hat on my head, and obviously I enjoy it, but it means nothing compared to the role of just studying Graham when he comes to set. He's a fantastic showrunner and also a team leader the way that he runs the writers’ room. It's magic what they do and how they convert this book into the TV show, the way that we can adapt it because it's so big. It's so huge, and he's managed to create this fantastic storyline that pulled me through. I mean, he's phenomenal. He's the most incredible mentor I've ever had in producing."

But that begs one last question—we've seen people panic and use up all their oxygen very quickly upon leaving the silo, so just exactly how much air is left in Juliette's tank on her back? Ferguson teased the answer to that question with: "Enough to take us to Season 2, maybe." Good thing Silo has already been renewed for another season.