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denimbex1986 · 1 year ago

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'The Doctor finds themself wearing a familiar face for the first time in their 2,000+ years of existence. Donna Noble and her family are suddenly in the middle of a world of aliens and spaceships for the first time since her memories were wiped by the Doctor fifteen years ago. Despite Donna’s lack of memory and the Doctor’s best efforts coincidence or destiny has thrust these two one-time best friends back together. This is where Doctor Who’s 60th Anniversary Trilogy of Specials – “The Star Beast,” “Wild Blue Yonder,” and “The Giggle” – begin. Russell T Davies has returned as showrunner! David Tennant is back as the Doctor! Catherine Tate is back as Donna! Not having to wait for the Blu-ray release to rewatch episodes for the first time since Jodie Whittaker debuted in “The Woman Who Fell To Earth” has me basically living on Disney+. And what’s struck me most as I’ve watched these specials again and again is how beautifully they present the mirror of friendship using two characters, two best friends, who find themselves at existential crossroads with their identities...

Theresa used to have a little poster hanging in her classroom which said, “You become like the five people you spend the most time with. Choose carefully.” And wow has my analytical part spent a lot of time thinking about that! Our friendships certainly shape us. Our friends also serve as a mirror which reflect who we are in a very intimate way, both in whom we connect with and how we are within those relationships. The Doctor and Donna share such a relationship and for all the Meeps, Wrath Warriors, Not-Things, and Toymakers, watching them reconnect across this trilogy of specials was my favorite part of the 60th anniversary experience :).

As Doctor Who’s 60th anniversary was a trilogy, I’m going to address these themes with each in turn! So feel free to read this as one unified piece or just read about the specials you’ve seen or are most interested in exploring.

Doctor Who: The Star Beast

If friendship is a mirror, to lose our memories of and/or connection to a best friend means our reflection is incomplete. We struggle to see ourselves as we once did. When we first meet Donna in “The Star Beast” with her mother Sylvia (Jaqueline King), and meet her daughter Rose (Yasmin Finney) and husband Shaun (Karl Collins) for the first time (okay, yes, Shaun was in “The End of Time Part Two” but it was just for a moment and we only see him from a distance), she is still very much Donna. Though it’s clear she feels the shape of something missing in her life.

Sitting at her kitchen table, Donna tells Sylvia, “Sometimes I think there’s something missing. Like I had something lovely, and it’s gone. And I, I kinda look to the side like something should be there but it’s not. And I know I’ve got Rose and Sean and you and the biggest sausage roll I’ve ever seen and frankly I should be happy. I should be really happy. But some nights I lie in bed thinking…what have I lost?” We are the sum total of our memories. Without one or some (or all?) we’d still be ourselves…but undeniably different. And having a sense of the something you lost would have to be a restless way to live.

But the Doctor can remember and, when I think about it, I imagine that would be harder. He knows he lost this brilliant, beautiful best friend. All the feelings he had for her live on in his hearts, surrounded by the dull ache of loss. For me, that one seems worse. Donna longs for something she lost but the Doctor knows who and what he lost.

The Doctor, having regenerated into a familiar form, is also anxious and unsettled. Though he is clearly happy to be back in his old body again! Many people online have pointed out how he emerges from the TARDIS in London with an energy very reminiscent of the opening of the 2008 Christmas special, “The Next Doctor.” It feels so happy! He’s smiling as he wanders through the street. At this moment, those anxious and unsettled parts are unblended and he’s able to enjoy the beginning of this new life, a half hour or so after his regeneration. But when the Doctor meets UNIT’s new scientific advisor, Shirley Anne Bingham (Ruth Madeley), he beings to speak openly about the confusing nature of his regeneration:

The Doctor – “Eh, it’s all a bit mad, don’t you think? I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Shirley – “Well, you look like the Doctor to me.”

The Doctor – “Well, exactly, the one in the skinny suit. After that I wear a bowtie. After that I’m a Scotsman. And after that I’m a woman.”

Shirley – “But that’s your future. You can’t know that. It’s forbidden.”

The Doctor – “I regenerated. And she became me.”

Shirley – “You got your old face back?”

The Doctor – “Yep.”

Shirley – “But why?”

The Doctor – “Eh, that’s what I’m worried about. Because I’ve got this friend, called Donna Noble. And she was my best friend in the whole wide universe, I absolutely love her. Oh! Um, do I say things like that now?”

Shirley – “Sounds like a good thing to say.”

The Doctor – “But Donna took the mind of a Time Lord into her head. I had to wipe her memory to save her life. If she ever remembers me she will die. So what happens next? I get this face back and the TARDIS lands right next to her. I turn around and there’s her husband. Then a spaceship crashes right in front of her. It’s like she’s drawing us in….the universe is turning around her again. I don’t believe in destiny but if destiny exists, it’s heading for Donna Noble right now.”

The Doctor doesn’t understand who he is anymore but he instinctively begins to try and sort the question of his identity through Donna. He is wearing his old face. The “universe is turning around her again.” There must be a connection. And it’s because of Donna he realizes he’s the sort of person who says things like, “I absolutely love her.” He says much the same about Wilf: “I loved that man.” For the notoriously closed off Time Lord, this willingness to be open and vulnerable is remarkable growth. And I’d wager that Dan (John Bishop)’s gently yet insistently pushing both the Thirteenth Doctor and Yaz (Mandip Gill) to own and voice their feelings for each other plays a role in the Fourteenth Doctor’s newfound openness :). And that makes me so happy!

Uncertainty aside, the Doctor and Donna quickly fall into familiar rhythms. As the Meep threatens all of London, the Doctor does what the Doctor does and Donna instinctively springs into action beside him. With the lives of nine million people at stake, Donna freely volunteers her life to save the others and the Doctor, with great pain and frustration, allows her to do so. They each make their own ultimate sacrifice – Donna in giving up her life and the Doctor in killing his best friend – to save Rose and all of London. This is who they are.

But Donna lives! Because the Meta-Crisis was passed down to Rose! What was too much for one human to hold becomes a shared inheritance. Donna’s survival also brings the dawning of greater comprehension:

The Doctor – “We’re binary.”

Donna – “She’s not. Because the Doctor’s…”

The Doctor – “…male…”

Donna – “…and female.”

Rose – “And neither. And more.”

Rose’s role in the Meta-Crisis allows the Doctor and Donna to articulate the full nature of the Doctor’s identity with greater clarity than ever before. In a beautiful moment, Donna and Rose chose to “just let it go.” Donna has her memories back (and she lived! (yay!)). Rose is finally herself. But the Doctor is still uncertain as to why his old face returned.

Onboard the TARDIS he brushes that question off but tells Donna, “I really do remember though, every second with you. And I’m so glad you’re back ‘cause it killed me Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me.” Donna ask, “We can have more days, can’t we? I mean why is it such a big goodbye with you? Why is it one last trip? ‘Cause you visit, with my family. We could do outrageous things like have tea, dinner, and a laugh. And Rose’s school play, well maybe not that, she can’t act, she’s terrible, I don’t know how to tell her. But the point is, you’ve been given a second chance. You can do things different this time. So why don’t you do something completely new – and have some friends?” Tentatively the Doctor replies, “Yeah. Maybe. Yeah.”

To me this feels like the key to the entire special. Similarly to his saying he loves Donna and Wilf, the Doctor is being open and vulnerable in telling Donna, “I’m so glad you’re back ‘cause it killed me Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me.” Donna, comfortably settling into her new old self – restored memories alongside the person she’s become with her family – notes the Doctor has been given a second chance to do things differently with this face. While the Eleventh Doctor visited with Amy and Rory and the Twelfth Doctor did with Clara, it’s not the Doctor’s usual m.o. and you can see the reluctance on the his face. Fear of the Twelfth Doctor’s weariness, expressed at the end of his life – “A life this long, do you understand what it is? It’s a battlefield, like this one, and it’s empty. Because everyone else has fallen”[1] – is evident. But he doesn’t give a hard no! Perhaps the Doctor is willing to change, at least for Donna, his best friend in the whole, wide universe.

Doctor Who: Wild Blue Yonder:

The reflection friendship shows includes our deepest fears, anxieties, and insecurities. Beside a friend with whom we feel safe we find a place to open, be with, share, and – sometimes, eventually – heal the wounds and traumas which fuel those fears. When a seemingly out of control TARDIS drops the Doctor and Donna on an abandoned spaceship at the very literal edge of creation before dematerializing on its own, they are forced to see this reflection of themselves through a glass, darkly, in a horror-tinged version of friendship’s mirror.

The Doctor – “I’m sorry, Donna. The TARDIS was out of control. It’s taken us to the edge of the universe.”

Donna – “So what’s out there?”

The Doctor – “Well, that’s difficult – for you – because if the universe is everything than the concept of an everything having an edge is kind if impossible. But that’s the language of 21st century Earth and you don’t know anything yet. I’m not being rude, you just don’t. When you discover Cambodian flat mathematics, you’ll discover it’s possible.”

Donna – “What?”

The Doctor – “That. Nothing. The edge of creation. Absolute nothingness.”

What’s funny is I think about this all the time! Theresa tells her students the Big Bang left the universe hurtling outward as it literally expands into nothing. She explains we can’t conceive of nothing because we’re things so we’ve evolved the ability to understand other things. We can conceive of darkness or emptiness or vastness or space but we literally can’t wrap our heads around nothing. We’re not wired that way. The first time I heard her say that I fell in love with it! I even use her example as the frame for talking to my students about how we can never fully conceive of God as infinite transcendence.

All this is to say, I think about the literal edge of creation and absolute nothingness A LOT. And I love it as the setting for an existentialist horror look into who and what we are. Both the Doctor and Donna have their own sense of self shaken, just as its taking a more solid shape, and they need to find strength and security in the other.

This is so human and I love it. Just yesterday, Lauren took a half day and we got lunch, hung out, and ran errands all afternoon. My last two weeks have been hard (work is still taking more from me every day and my emotional exhaustion is overwhelming) so Lauren wanted to be sure we had some time together. I was eager to see her – I always am – but a part of me felt bad because she was taking off work because I’m a mess. I was talking about this part with Kalie when she smiled and reminded me, “That’s what people who love you do. It’s what friends are for.” My day with Lauren was so beautiful and so restorative. It filled me back up! Pushed to the brink of existential despair, hunted and haunted throughout this ship, the Doctor and Donna can only do the same, regrounding themselves in each other – something the Not-Things intentionally try to destabilize.

The Not-Things take their shape so the Doctor and Donna never know if they are talking to each other or the Not-Things. Sometimes they are near perfect copies, others a ghastly perversion. When the Doctor asks them, “Where did you come from? You’re not part of the ship, are you? Did you come from outside?” The Not-Thing Donna says, “We came from the Nothing.” The Not-Thing Doctor says, “We are not things.” Then with malicious intrigue the Not-Thing Donna adds, “But you, you are not nothing.”

I love the different levels of fear here! First you have these dark, twisted, and at times monstrously disproportioned copies of the Doctor and Donna chasing them. Then the Doctor and Donna have the fear and anxiety of never being sure who they are talking to – their best friend or the Not-Thing. Then you have (what I would argue is) the more disquieting and disturbing fear of your best friend not being able to recognize you. Thinking of yesterday, one of the things that makes Lauren such an important friend is she’s safe – I can share anything with her and I know it will be received, honored, and cared for. There is nothing I can’t tell her. I get all sorts of anxious, as it affects that safety, if I imagine talking to Lauren but not knowing if it is Lauren. And that deep, pervasive anxiety turns into an almost painful fear to imagine Lauren not recognizing me as it seems to imply (even though it’s all a result of the Not-Things machinations) the friendship, the closeness and security we share, isn’t what we thought it was.

Dancing between that anxiety and fear, the Not-Things attack. The Not-Thing Donna rips open the trauma of the Doctor learning they are the Timeless Child and the destruction caused by the Flux.

Not-Thing Donna – “So where are you from?”

The Doctor – “No, we’ve done that. We talked about that, back there out loud. All four of us know it’s Gallifrey.”

Not-Thing Donna – “Except…it’s not.”

The Doctor – [pause] “What d’you mean?”

Not-Thing Donna – “You don’t know where you’re from.”

The Doctor – “How d’you know that? How does anyone know? How does Donna know?”

Not-Thing Donna – “Back on Earth, when I was the Doctor Donna, I saw your mind. I’ve had fifteen years without you and I saw everything that’s happened to you since and oh my God, it hurt.”

The Doctor – [tears in his eyes] “You’re saying this to break me down.”

Not-Thing Donna – “We haven’t stopped. To talk. We haven’t had a chance. It’s always like that with you, running from one thing to the next but I saw it. In your head. The Flux.”

The Doctor – [voice shaking] “It destroyed half the universe because of me. We stand here now, on the edge of creation, a creation which I devastated, so yes I keep running – of course I do! How am I supposed to look back on that??”

Not-Thing Donna – “It wasn’t your fault!”

The Doctor – “I KNOW!”

Not-Thing Donna – “I’m sorry.”

The Doctor – [plaintive] “Donna, is that you?”

Not-Thing Donna – “Yeah.”

The Doctor – “All those years, I missed you.”

On the one hand, the Doctor’s guarded. He knows the Not-Thing Donna would work to break him. On the other, he desperately hopes it is Donna so she knows but he doesn’t have to say it and he can be vulnerable with her without the struggle to get past those protector parts which hold his trauma close. With tears in his eyes and his voice breaking, he goes to hug her and the Not-Thing Donna dissolves into a puddle and laughs at him.

The Not-Thing Donna twists a knife in the trauma of his loneliness, insecurity around his identity, and guilt of all those he couldn’t save. While the Not-Thing Doctor strikes at Donna’s sense of self-worth.

Trying to prove she’s really her, Donna says, “I was born in South Hampton ‘cause my mum and dad where there for the weekend visiting my Auntie Iris. My mum was nine months pregnant but would Iris come to her? No she would not. So I arrived in South Hampton which allowed my mother to say I was a problem from the day I was born. And I’ve now come to the edge of the universe to discover I’m still dealing with that. So you can copy my memory but there’s only one person who can understand my family like that and that is me. I’m definitely Donna.” When Donna notices the tie the Not-Thing Doctor took off to prove he was the Doctor had disappeared he says, “Oh, I see. When something is gone it keeps existing. [bending over backwards to crab walk in the creepiest way possible.] Auntie Iris! Mummy and Daddy! Ya-da-da-da-da-da-dah! Why does he travel with someone as stupid as you?” And he chases her out of the room.

Beautifully, it’s the existence of our polarized parts that allow the Doctor to cut through the Not-Things’ deception. As someone who spends a lot of time aware of and being with my own polarized parts, this warmed my heart :).

The Doctor –“You think you’re stupid?’

Not-Thing Donna – “Of course I do.”

The Doctor – “That’s very Donna.”

Not-Thing Doctor – “That’s so Donna. That’s my Donna.”

The Doctor – “Except Donna does not think she’s stupid.”

Donna and Not-Thing Donna – “Oh I do.”

The Doctor – “No, Donna thinks she’s stupid and, sometimes, she thinks she’s brilliant. She thinks both. Because that’s the astonishing thing about people from our planet – they can believe two completely different things at exactly the same time.”

For a moment, the Not-Things freeze and the Doctor and Donna run into each other’s arms. Once they are sure who’s who, the Not-Things begin to strike at humanity’s nature to shake their faith in what they are as they attacked their sense of who they are.

Not-Thing Doctor – “We drifted here, in the lack of light, passing no time. But we would feel it – from so far away – your noisy, boiling universe. We wanted to travel there, to play your vicious games, and win.”

The Doctor – “If you existed here, no shape, no form, no purpose, then what’s made you so…bad?”

Not-Thing Doctor – “The things we felt, they shaped us. Carrying across the dark. We could hear your lives of war. Blood and fury and hate. They made us like this.”

Donna – “We’re more than that.”

Not-Thing Donna – “Love letters don’t travel very far.”

Oh, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this scene. Is it real? Or rather, are the Not-Things telling the truth? Donna overtly rejects it and it undercuts everything the Doctor is always saying about humanity. Soooo, did the violence and hate of our universe shape them as they moved from the nothing into existence? Or are they trying to get in Donna and the Doctor’s heads to break them down? Or is it both?

Ultimately Donna and the Doctor realize the Not-Things need them to be afraid so their bodies and brains move faster which is essential for the Not-Things to copy them. I think that’s an interesting commentary too, on how our fears shape us and reveal our identity. Donna is shaped by a lifetime of insecurity her mother helped cultivate just as the Doctor is shaped by not knowing who he is and his guilt over what he couldn’t stop.

Despite all the head games of existential horror, Donna and the Doctor stop the Not-Things, leaving them to die in the fiery furnace of the exploding ship. Back on the TARDIS the Doctor tentatively, nervously, and trying to project an aura of casual indifference, asks if Donna could remember what the Not-Thing Donna knew. She doesn’t. Donna says it’s too much, like looking into a furnace. So the Doctor pulls inward again, desperate to talk about it all but unable yet to voice his trauma out loud. Lovingly, Donna presses the issue, “C’mon. Where have you been since I last saw you? What’s happened?” The Doctor brushes it off, “Eh, you know, the usual. Robots, chases, waterfalls.” But Donna keeps the invitation open, “Oh, okay. But what really happened?” The Doctor takes a long pause before simply saying, “A lot.” Donna asks if he’s okay before another long pause when the Doctor assures her, “I will be.” Donna asks when and the Doctor tells her, “A million years.”

With “The Star Beast” the Doctor and Donna joyously reconnect, finding there fuller sense of self in their reflection with the other. In “Wild Blue Yonder,’ they seek the safety friendship provides as they are forced to face their deep insecurities under the terrifying spotlight of the Not-Things. Though, given the horror vibes of the special, I’d say it’s key scene is the moment the Doctor incorrectly chooses the Not-Thing Donna to take onboard the TARDIS. As it dematerializes Donna screams, desperate for the Doctor to come back. With tears falling down her face she stares at her own death, knowing she’ll never see her family again, and feels the gut-wrenching, soul-shaking pain of not being recognized – of not being seen – by someone she loves so much and is so loved by in return. When the Doctor realizes his mistake and returns for her, they embrace in the safety of the TARDIS. The traumatized looks on their faces show what they endured. In that moment they desperately need to be held by someone with whom they feel safe, someone who understands, someone who sees and loves them as they are.

Doctor Who: The Giggle:

The reflection of ourselves we see in the mirror of friendship is a fuller reflection of who we are than we are able (or willing) to see on our own. Our friends often see when we’re hurting and when we need help before we are willing to own and admit it. They often see who we really are when we hold ourselves in guilt and shame we needn’t carry. The beauty of this is our friends can help us see all that, too. And this is exactly what Donna does for the Doctor when the Toymaker (Neil Patrick Harris) escapes his exile outside of existence and returns to this realm looking to destroy humanity with the most malevolent of games.

With violence erupting all over the globe as every human being on the planet suddenly believes they are right and won’t be told otherwise, UNIT comes to collect the Doctor and Donna. At UNIT HQ in central London, they are greeted by Shirley Ann Bingham, Kate Stewart (Jemma Redgrave), and Melanie Bush (Bonnie Langford), who travelled with the Sixth and Seventh Doctors. They realize a giggle imbedded in every screen since the very first television broadcast is what’s unleashing all of humanity’s darkest impulses.

The Doctor and Donna head back to 1925, the date of the first recording of the puppet Stooky Bill, to try and find answers. Leaving the TARDIS in 1920s New York, Donna tries yet again to get the Doctor to open up.

Donna – “So, what about Mel?!”

The Doctor – “Haha, she’s brilliant, isn’t she?”

Donna – “Yeah but I just keep thinking, all this time, you’ve never mentioned her.”

The Doctor – “Donna, I’m a billion years old. If I stopped and talked about everyone I’ve ever met we’d still be in the TARDIS yapping.”

Donna – “So you talk about no one ever. You just keep charging on.”

The Doctor – “Yes because I’m busy, like now.”

Donna – “Of course you’re busy every second of every day. I mean look at us now, we haven’t stopped. I saw you Doctor. I got a glimpse inside your mind. And it’s like you’re staggering. You are staggering along. Maybe that’s why your old face came back. You’re wearing yourself down.”

The Doctor pauses, decides to ignore her point, and redirects the conversation to finding the shop which sold the Stooky Bill John Logie Baird used in his first television transmission.

Much like Lauren did for me yesterday, Donna can see the Doctor’s hurting. She sees he’s exhausted, burn out, and run down. Though, unlike my response to Lauren, the Doctor is unwilling to acknowledge what Donna sees. The reflection is too clear, too accurate for the Doctor’s comfort. So instead he chooses to look away from the mirror Donna provides and instead focus on their mission.

Following the Toymaker into his realm, the Doctor’s desperation becomes more and more apparent as he and Donna race down endless identical hallways lined with endless identical doors. The Doctor’s façade begins to break a bit. The fear and the vulnerability begin to show. While he’d rather not own this (as evident by their conversation on the street outside the Toymaker’s shop), the Doctor can hold it back no longer. Donna is safe so he’s honest.

Donna – “Yeah but, you always say…”

The Doctor – “Oh, what do I say? What do I say?? What do I say?? ‘Cause I’m always so certain. I’m all sonic and TARDIS and Time Lord, take that away. [with tears in his eyes and doubt on his face] Take away the toys…what am I? What am I now? [with fearful resignation] I don’t know…if I can save your life this time.”

Donna – “It’s not about me.”

The Doctor – “Oh yes it is.”

Donna – “Well, maybe I’ll save you. You big idiot.”

With all these vulnerabilities, insecurities, and fear shining back at the Doctor, Donna gives him a place to be safe. She reassures him that protecting her isn’t what it’s about and she may just save him this time. Often our closest friends, the ones we love the most and are loved the most by in return, aren’t “just” the ones who can see when we’re hurting and need to be saved but they are the ones who we’ll let save us. This is the relationship Donna and the Doctor share.

They find the Toymaker and the Doctor challenges him to a game, a game he loses. This leaves the score at 1-1 as the First Doctor beat the Toymaker when they met and the Fourteenth Doctor just lost to the Toymaker. Back in 2023, they prepare for their final round at UNIT HQ. The Doctor – and this is such a Doctor thing to do – asks the Toymaker why he’s “so small.” Then he invites the Toymaker to leave this planet and these games behind to travel the cosmos with him so they can be “celestial” together, playing infinite games across the universe for all eternity.

The Toymaker considers…before blasting the Doctor through the chest and saying, “I played the first game with one Doctor. I played the second game with this Doctor. Therefore your own rules have decreed I play the third game with the next Doctor!” Donna comes forward telling the Toymaker, “He’s not dying alone. You can do what you like with me, I’m gonna be with him.” Mel agrees, “And so am I.”

Donna – [taking his hand] “It’s okay.”

The Doctor – “It’s not dying.”

Donna – “I know, but…”

Mel – “You’re gonna be someone else. It doesn’t matter who. ‘Cause every single one of you is fantastic.”

The Doctor – “It’s time. Here we go again. [several deep breaths] Allons-y…”

This is such a different attitude than the last time this face regenerated! It shows all the growth the Doctor went through in his Eleventh, Twelfth, and Thirteenth incarnations. And it shows the place he was able to get to with Donna by his side, creating a safe place for his fears and guilt, pressing him in loving ways to open up, and always reminding him of who he really is. Instead of seeing it as dying, now he assures them he isn’t dying. He is serene instead of angry. He says allons-y (“lets go”) instead of I don’t want to go.

As regenerations go, it was a beautiful one. Or it would have been. Instead the Doctor bigenerated.

With regeneration energy flickering around him, Donna and Mel, under the Doctor’s instructions, each grab an arm and pull…and the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Doctor split in two! My head is already spinning with thoughts here but I don’t want to lose the thread. That’s the story for another post.

Like Theresa’s sign said, we become like the people we spend the most time with so we much choose carefully. Reunited with Donna, who has consistently urged the Doctor to open up and talk with her – always insistent but always lovingly – we see the new Doctor bearing Donna’s imprint. This Doctor, the Fifteenth Doctor, seems to have finally healed from all the trauma of the Time War. He has finally learned a lesson the Twelfth and Thirteenth Doctors hadn’t learned even after the Eleventh Doctor changed their actions in the Time War and saved Gallifrey. As the Fourteenth Doctor glumly looks out over London, the Fifteenth Doctor and Donna come up on either side of him.

Fifteenth Doctor – [putting his arm around the Fourteenth Doctor] “Hey, we did it.”

Fourteenth Doctor – “But how many died down there?”

Donna – “It’s not your fault.”

Fifteenth Doctor – “You can’t save everyone.”

Fourteenth Doctor – “Why not?”

Fifteenth Doctor – “Come here. [pulling the Fourteenth Doctor into his arms] I’ve got you, yeah? It’s okay. I’m here.”

The Fifteenth Doctor kisses the Fourteenth Doctor’s forehead and looks him in the eye. Then he puts his arm around him again, as does Donna. They all walk away, arms around each other. With Donna’s influence (and carrying the echoes of everyone they’ve loved and everything they’ve learned over the last 1,100 years since they wore that face) the Doctor can finally hold their wounded part (or, as the case may be here, regenerated self) carrying all that trauma and tell them I’ve got you, yeah? It’s okay. I’m here. They can now comfort and hold themselves alongside Donna as they heal in the way they’ve needed Donna to do for them.

The key scene here comes back in the TARDIS, as the Fourteenth Doctor assures Donna and his new self he’ll be alright. The Fifteenth Doctor corrects him, “No, you’re thin as a pin, love. You’re running on fumes.” Donna agrees, “That’s what I keep saying.” The Fourteenth Doctor protests, pointing to the Fifteenth Doctor, “But you’re fine.”

Fifteenth Doctor – “I’m fine because you fix yourself. We’re Time Lords. We’re doing rehab out of order.”

Donna – “He’s saying you need to stop.”

Fourteenth Doctor – “But I don’t know how.”

Donna – “Well, I can tell you. Do you know what I did, when you went flying off in your blue box, space man? I stayed in one place. And I lived. Day after day after day.”

Fourteenth Doctor – [rolling his eyes] “That would drive me mad.”

Donna – “Haha, yeah, it does. But you keep on going. And that’s the adventure. The one adventure you’ve never had. ‘Cause I’ve worked out what happened. You changed your face and then you found me. Do you know why?”

Fourteenth Doctor – [quietly] “No.”

Donna – “To come home.”

Reflecting something the Doctor is not quite able to see himself yet, Donna finally pieces together the reason the Doctor’s old face came back. This face – the one whose final, heartbreaking words were, “I don’t want to go” – is the one the Doctor returns to when they are finally – finally! – ready to let go of the trauma of their past. And they return to their best friend in the whole wide universe and restore her memories. She then takes those memories and she, along with her daughter, sorts how to solve the Meta-Crisis problem on their own. And now, after Meeps and Wrath Warriors and Not-Things and Toymakers and a historic bigeneration, the Doctor is finally ready to come home.

Russell T Davies, the man who created the Time War and brought Doctor Who back in 2005 with a Doctor suffering PTSD and wrapped in survivor’s guilt – a Doctor who has been on a long, slow journey of healing over their last six incarnations – is finally ready to hold and heal their wounds so they can let go of their trauma. One incarnation goes home, surrounded by their family, to do just that. The other incarnation, the future one that’s already benefited from that work, is off to adventure in the sort of carefree and devil-may-care way the Doctor hasn’t felt since the Eighth Doctor entered the Time War! And the Doctor never could’ve gotten here without Donna, just as she never could’ve found her way back to her full self, memories and all, without the Doctor. What a beautiful note to end Doctor Who’s 60th anniversary on! It’s a beautiful reminder of the power and importance of our friendships, too.'

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