#saw a pose on pinterest and saw the quote 'tell me where to put the anger' and ended up with this

[acekindaneat]

it became too much sometimes

[i-found-you-in-a-fanfic]

[ Butterflies ]

Summary: Butterflies are childish. Every person can remember a time in their life- no matter how brief- where they were mesmerized with the beauty of such an insect. The creature is littered through kid’s shows and coloring books- how could anyone expect them to go unnoticed? The colorful patterns; intriguing paths to adulthood; the way that they float through the air, balancing on the breeze all make for a delicate, ethereal form of life. Beautiful is the only word to describe their existence, no matter how juvenile. But, just like every beautiful thing, butterflies hold much darker secrets. And they are not made for children’s ears.

Contains: Iwaoi, poem at the end, figurative language, sad oikawa, su*cidal thoughts, anxious oikawa, hurt/comfort, pining oikawa

A/N: hi, i’ve done another thing. hope u enjoy! - Mod Kunimi

Butterflies are childish. Every person can remember a time in their life- no matter how brief- where they were mesmerized with the beauty of such an insect. The creature is littered through kid’s shows and coloring books- how could anyone expect them to go unnoticed? The colorful patterns; intriguing paths to adulthood; the way that they float through the air, balancing on the breeze all make for a delicate, ethereal form of life. Beautiful is the only word to describe their existence, no matter how juvenile.

But, just like every beautiful thing, butterflies hold much darker secrets. And they are not made for children’s ears.

Oikawa found himself fascinated with the creature. Though he hated insects- ask Iwaizumi; Oikawa was terrified- he never had even the slightest aversion to butterflies. They were too perfectly flawed, too delicately broken, too similar to him to trigger a phobia.

The sight of them did make him a little sad, though.

What most people think of when they see a butterfly is their beauty. People watch every flap of their wings, trace every marking embedded in their body, not even thinking about what darker fate awaits them. People see every dip in their flight as graceful instead of the strain from the weight of life. People see every splash of color on the insect as effortless beauty instead of a mask to make everyone happy. In this way, Oikawa was a butterfly.

Oikawa hoped he wasn’t too similar to the creature, despite its beauty and the love it received. Butterflies may bring joy while they’re alive, but that doesn’t last long. One of the many bittersweet truths about a butterfly is that life takes a toll on them faster than it does most. It becomes a struggle to keep flying, keep posing, keep living very soon in the life of a butterfly. As it does for humans sometimes. Even if mother nature doesn’t erase people as quickly and naturally as it blows away butterflies, that doesn’t mean that humans don’t feel the pressure of simply being. And that doesn’t mean that humans can’t erase themselves before mother nature has a chance to.

Hence, the reason Oikawa was splayed out on a bench in the park at 1am. Pondering the meaning of his life, like any teen would from time to time. Like a butterfly, would his life wink away as quickly as it came into view? Did he want that to happen? Oikawa had been asking himself these questions for the last 30 minutes, and he could assure anyone with 100 percent confidence that he wasn’t getting anywhere. His brain cells had left the chat about 5 minutes into this train-wreck of thought, and they were nowhere to be found.

Maybe he was thinking too hard. Maybe butterflies weren’t worried about what others thought of them. Maybe the beauty wasn’t a mask, maybe it was effortless and simple. Maybe every dip in their flight was just a minor setback caused by the wind. Maybe butterflies were just bugs like everyone said they were.

Maybe he was alone in his feeling alone.

Oikawa’s breath materialized in front of him in the icy air. He had so many friends, so many admirers, yet felt so alone. That was unfair to all of those who had no one to turn to, those who actually were all by themselves. He should feel grateful, because there were so many people who had it worse than he did.

Then why did he feel anything but grateful?

Why were the butterflies still crowding his lungs and stomach, restricting his air and choking out his happiness? Why were the insects growing, duplicating, vibrating in his throat until he felt that the edges of the wings would split through his throat? What was wrong with him?

Usually, butterflies were a symbol of beauty.

Beauty is known to be deadly.

Oikawa wasn’t supposed to feel sad. He had everything. Like a butterfly, he was beautiful and delicate. So many loved him. So many envied him.

So many misunderstood him.

A tear dripped down his cheek, the only sign that he was anything but happy in the darkness. He wondered if everybody would still envy him if they saw him now. Would the girls who squeal over his nonchalant grins still be so delighted if they knew every smile was fake? Would people adore and idolize him if they saw him, sitting alone, crying in the dark? Would he be so popular if everyone knew he was in love with his best friend, a feeling that could destroy their entire relationship? Would people still love butterflies if they knew that the elegant creatures weren’t what they seemed?

Would anybody ever love him if he showed that he wasn’t what he seemed?

The fog grew thick over Oikawa, a tornado of insects hovering over his face and body. It was hard to escape a feeling like this. When he was anxious, sad, or anything in between, he always left a cloud of insects in his wake. When he was anxious, sad, or anything in between, they weren’t butterflies anymore. They were just bugs, clawing at his skin to remind him that nobody is perfect and never could be. Why reach for the stars if so many have settled for the moon? Why follow the crappy Pinterest quotes to ‘be yourself’ when you know that nobody will accept you that way?

Spiraling down, further and further. Oikawa found it hard to snap out of funks that got this bad. By the time he couldn’t breathe or think clearly, when he noticed what was going on, it was usually too late. The layer of insects was skin-tight. This kind of thinking is what drove him to get so mad at Kageyama and Ushijima. This kind of thinking is what drove him to almost hit Kageyama. This kind of thinking destroyed him, telling him the worst things he could hear at the moment. Things that nobody would actually say to another person.

That didn’t matter. He heard those things anyway.

Oikawa was deep in the thought spiral now. All he could do was lay on the bench, crying, as his own thoughts turned against him. He wanted to free himself, to blow away the insects and rejoice with the butterflies, to show himself and take on the world. But he couldn’t do any of that while stuck in the shackles, bolted to the ground with heavy weights. Stuck in the crawling, buzzing, skin-tight suit of bugs.

This is when the thoughts got worse. The thoughts that held a silent taboo over so many people, and scared some into submission. The line that cleared the blur from normal and broken. The thoughts that told him that he wouldn’t regret it if he ended everything. There wouldn’t be a way for him to regret it. It would all be over, all the pain, all the crying. All of it gone.

He hated how much the thoughts made sense.

Oikawa’s phone lit up, snapping enough of him back together so that he could read the text through his blurry eyes.

Iwaizumi: Hey, is that you outside at the park?

The insects began to retreat, whispering their sweet promises to return soon. Oikawa filled his newly-freed lungs with air before texting out a response.

Oikawa: Yeah! I’m just watching the stars. It’s so peaceful out, I couldn’t help myself! Iwaizumi: Mhm. Iwaizumi: Look behind you.

Oikawa clicked off his phone and sighed. How would he explain this? How much had Iwaizumi seen?

“It seems you’re stalking me, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa put the happiness in his voice perfectly, like he wasn’t just crying a second ago. Over the years, he’d gotten scarily good at disguising his face, voice, and emotions. It came naturally now. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“Oikawa, you were sobbing.” Way to state the obvious. If Iwaizumi was waiting for confirmation, Oikawa didn’t give him any. He didn’t deny what his best friend said either. “What’s wrong?”

Iwaizumi sat down on the bench, right next to Oikawa. His presence blew the remaining insects off of Oikawa’s skin, and replaced them with a few butterflies of his own. One of the many reasons Oikawa was in love with him. He not only helped scare away the bad, terrible thoughts that could twist him into an ever-tightening spiral, but he added butterflies. He didn’t only defend, he gave. He gave even though he had no idea what he was giving to Oikawa, and why Oikawa needed it.

Of course, Iwaizumi had no idea about his thought spirals and panic attacks. Of course, Iwaizumi is going to wonder what he just walked in on. Of course, Oikawa doesn’t want to tell him.

Of course, this is a huge problem.

“Oikawa?” Iwaizumi asked. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Ah yes. He should probably answer the question.

“Nothing’s wrong, Iwa-chan! I was laughing, not crying.” The darkness blanketed most things at that time of night, but Oikawa could still see Iwaizumi’s eyebrows furrow.

“Don’t lie to me.” Iwaizumi’s soft breathing triggered a ripple of movement through the butterflies in his stomach. Everybody knew about those butterflies, the use of ‘butterflies in the stomach’ was probably one of the most overused analogies in writing. But, naturally, Oikawa had them along with all of his other butterflies.

And their flapping wings pumped blood into Oikawa’s cheeks in a flush that spread over his nose and chin.

“I was just thinking.” It was an answer. No matter how small Oikawa’s voice was when he said it, or the fact that ‘I was just thinking’ could mean literally anything, it was an answer and Oikawa deserved at least a little bit of credit for that.

With every second of silence, his heartbeat triggered a surge of movement from the wings inside his body.

Is it possible to feel the outline of each, individual butterfly in your body even when you know they aren’t physically there?

Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa into his chest, strong against the struggle that the latter put up. The sound of both boys’ heartbeats falling into sync relaxed the tension hovering around the pair. “Do you want to tell me more?”

Yes.

Yes he did.

“Not really.” They both knew this was a lie. It was so blatantly obvious, light against the surrounding darkness. The lie was so clear, you could see through it with no effort or thinking at all. And Oikawa was supposed to be an experienced liar.

“Oikawa?”

His name was all it took to destroy the dam. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. All of these years of keeping secrets and feelings inside, and his name was all it took to release them. He didn’t know he could reach this level of pathetic. But it was happening. He was spilling everything- secrets, tears, hopes, fears.

The butterflies were set loose.

To Iwaizumi’s credit, he listened. He comforted and heard Oikawa out. He actually wanted to help. He actually did help. This was why Oikawa loved him. Because Iwaizumi may not understand everything, but he tried to. He cared, understood, and helped. He helped set Oikawa free.

Oikawa knew that even though he opened up, he wasn’t free. The insects would come back. But for now, he was free. And for now, that was all that mattered.

As Oikawa’s rant sputtered to a stop, he was painfully aware of the fact that he just spilled everything. Well. Everything except his enormous amount of love for Iwaizumi. But that could say a secret, at least for now.

“Do you hate me?” Oikawa’s voice trembled, outlining every butterfly that was living in his small, choked-up throat.

Iwaizumi stared at Oikawa for a good 5 seconds before answering. “Of course not. Oikawa, everyone has things they need to deal with, things they are ashamed of. I only wish that you told me sooner, so I could have helped you before it got this bad.”

Oikawa was crying again. This boy was getting a massive headache and needed water stat.

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to keep this a secret.” Iwaizumi went on. “If I knew you were depressed, I definitely would have tried to make you feel at least a little bit better. I know it’s hard, feeling like you don’t belong. Feeling like the butterflies could eat you up at any moment, leaving nothing but an empty space of where you used to be. Wondering if anybody would care if you left. I know how it feels. And I would never leave you because of it.”

Oikawa wiped his nose on Iwaizumi’s shirt. He would have asked if Iwaizumi minded, but at this point it was already soggy with snot and tears. Using the shirt as a tissue again couldn’t make the mess any worse. He was just happy. So happy that Iwaizumi understood. Even happier that Iwaizumi didn’t hate him for it.

“God, I love you so much.”

Oikawa did not mean to say that out loud. If Iwaizumi didn’t hate him already, he would now. Who confessed their lies, depression, anxiety, and love to somebody all in one breath? Apparently Oikawa did.

When Oikawa realized what he said, he froze. Every movement of his hands, the falling of a tear, the buzzing of a butterfly stopped. He couldn’t bring himself to look Iwaizumi straight in the eyes.

But Iwaizumi’s warm laugh told Oikawa that he didn’t need to worry.

“I love you too, Oikawa. You can stop worrying. I’m here.”

And he was. He was there, holding Oikawa in his arms. He was there, wiping away the tears and sacrificing his shirt to take the place of a tissue. He was there to ease Oikawa’s pain and prevent him from hurting again. He was there.

The insects faded.

The butterflies were back. Spreading from his stomach to his lungs. Lungs to his throat. But he now knew what they meant. They meant something different to every person, depending on where that person was in life. For Oikawa, at first, they were happiness and beauty. Then they spun themselves into a chrysalis of fear, loneliness, and depression. When they emerged from the cave, they weren’t new. They were old and worn, they had seen so much already in their short lives.

But they were a new emotion. They weren’t innocent- it was too late for that. They weren’t the ‘feeling of being understood’. That’s just a sappy line from a kid’s show. They were hopeful. Hopeful of a future that had once seemed dark and bleak. The butterflies spoke of new, foreign feelings, anticipation and hope, strength and hope.

That may also seem to be a line straight from a children’s show, but butterflies were known to be childish. They were depicted as beautiful, innocent, and juvenile. They were ethereal and intriguing.

But they held secrets that were not meant for children’s ears.

Oikawa was beginning to think that the secrets might not be so dark after all.

How is it that you float through life, so elegant and untroubled Envious of how your story ends Life doesn’t treat me so easily Put me to sleep with a smile and a kiss Underprivileged in the eyes of my heart Show me how to live again Acquaint me with your eyes, smile, stars Loving even through our Last words

[ This story is also on my ao3 here! ]

[sleeplessintothenight]

Kintsugi

Kintsugi

---

Before I knew it, I found myself lying on the ground. I sat up and saw the disaster in front of me. My roommate ran in after hearing a crash and knelt down beside me. I stayed staring forward. I couldn’t break my stare with the pile of shattered glass that replaced my vase.

My mind raced doing its best to recount all the events that led to this moment. A flurry of memories competed for attention as I attempted to sort clutter in my mind. Did this happen before this? No wait, this was first and then it caused this. But this must have come before that. I broke my glance to stare at my hands and then back again at the pile. My eyes’ focus kept shifting between my hands and the pile and back again. One thought came to the forefront silencing all the others, “Was this my fault?”

I could feel my heart starting to beat faster and faster as one tear became a flood down my face. I tried to open my mouth to say something, but it was muffled by the sobs and sniffles. I brushed my hand across my cheeks to wipe away the tears, but like a windshield in heavy rain, the wipers couldn’t move fast enough. So many questions clawed away at the insides of my head. Desperately I gasped for air hoping that one of these questions would escape and lessen the pain. The harder they fought to escape, the harder the mind held on to them, afraid of what my roommate would think of my incoherent meltdown.

My roommate slowly got up and asked, “Should I go grab the broom and dust pan? I think I’ll go and grab ‘em now.”

As she left the room, I feebly let out, “No, it’s okay. I’ll grab it later. Thanks though.”

After a few minutes I finally began to catch my breath. The tears began to dry up and my heartbeat slowed to a normal pace.

I just needed some time to absorb all that happened. I crawled forward and leaned over the pile. A distorted and muddied reflection looked up at me from the ground. I’ve had this vase for as long as I can remember. It was a gift from my parents. I found it on my fifth birthday when my parents took me through a craft fair in the park. When we got home, my mother told me to fill it up with all the things that make up me. For the past 20 years or so, I filled it with fortunes I loved, Dove chocolate wrappers, horoscope clippings, and little scraps of paper where I wrote down my goals, hopes, and dreams. I slowly sifted through the sharp edges and dug through the old memories. I unfolded a wrapper and couldn’t help but crack a smile at the quote written inside: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” I folded it back up and reached for a fortune: “Do not give up; the beginning is always the hardest.” It even had my lucky numbers in their recommendations. I grabbed another: “Now is the time to try something new.” I tossed them back into the pile and started to unfold a wrinkled post-it note revealing what I wanted to be when I grew up and how many kids I wanted to have. I guess at one time in my life I believed the notes I put in here.

I continued to run my hand through the broken pieces of me, feeling each edge against my fragile skin. I cupped my hands together and raised a pile up to my chest like a newborn baby. I blew a kiss and let the fragments of my past fall through the gaps between my bleeding fingers like sand in an hourglass. Once the last piece fell from my hand, I pushed the pile deeper into the corner of my bedroom. Still seated, I reached up onto my nightstand to grab a couple tissues to wipe off my hands. Next, I reached for my phone and opened the camera app. I leaned in closer again and snapped a picture. I swiped through the various filters before ultimately deciding on one. I began typing out the caption “Mood,” but deleted it to write out “My life right now.” I hit post and waited for the likes and comments to flood my notifications.

I took one last glance at the pile of broken dreams before falling backward and letting my arms fall to my side. I pulled my hood over my eyes and just lay there. I let the blips and buzzes become the background music as I let my mind begin to wander in to a much-needed nap.

As I opened my eyes I thought about sitting up, but decided against seeing the pile another time and reached for my phone. I smiled at all the likes and began to like back all the comments saying “Same.” After exhausting the comment section, I flipped through all the accounts posting depressing poetry over sunset photos. Double tap after double tap, I added to my collection the words to describe what I was afraid to tell anyone.

My scrolling was abruptly interrupted by an incoming call from a childhood friend. I hit ignore and continued to scroll. Again the incoming call consumed the screen, and again I ignored it. After I ignored the third call, he texted: “How are you doing? Let me know if you want to chat.” I could only respond with a thank you and few words about how I would figure out a way to get over it.

I sifted through the pile and wondered if I could put this back together. A pit in my stomach grew as a daunting task grew towards impossible. I frantically searched my memories for snapshots of its former self. Panic ensued as the pressure of preservation began to blur what I used to know. What hope would I have to put it back together if I struggled to remember its shape? As I reached for details, they hid deeper into the darkness that clouded my mind.

My friend texted again. Just a link to an article titled: “Kintsugi: The Beauty in Destruction.” I clicked and began to read. Kintsugi roughly translated to “golden repair.” The Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver.  It was strangely therapeutic reading that the philosophy of the art form is about embracing these “scars” as a part of its past and celebrates the imperfections of the repaired object.

I felt a calmness growing in me as I began to search for kintsugi photos. Google and Pinterest searches revealed a plethora of vases lined with golden streaks highlighting where edges had come back together. It baffled me. So many things in our lives today are easily replaceable. I could easily buy a new vase, but I knew this was about more than that. As I continued to scroll through gallery after gallery a bit of hope began to grow inside of me.

I sat up and began to sort through the wreckage to find the pieces I felt were worth saving while pushing other aside. It was going to take a while and I had no blueprint for what came next, but I knew that this was something I had to do. As I sorted through the pieces, I began to imagine how I hoped it would turn out.

I picked up a piece, examined it and then placed it in the pile to keep. I did the same with another, but placed it in another pile. Again and again and again until the mess made it’s way into almost as many piles as pieces. Some were definite keeps, some were maybes, some were ready to discard, most were somewhere in between. After an hour of false productivity, I found myself no closer to my destination then when I started. Until I was willing to make the tough choices, it would just be a game of musical chairs as pieces moved from one pile to another.

Frustrated, I pushed all the piles back together into one mess. My motivation was equal to the amount of progress I had made. The burning flame of inspiration withered away as the indecision grew. All the articles, tutorials, and photos made it look so easy. In theory it was simple, you’re just putting something back together like a puzzle held together by gold. I started to wonder if my pieces were far too broken to ever be put back together. I questioned whether what lay ahead was an impossible task.

If there’s a will, there’s a way I mouthed to myself. It was a quote that influenced so much of my upbringing. Lowering my head and grinding through challenges and tough times was a badge of honor I embodied. Giving up on this task felt like a weakness I couldn’t accept. My exhausted mind strained to run through scenario after scenario. Some thoughts were too ridiculous to work while others failed to formulate. A solution was a solution even if it wasn’t the best one.

I cupped my hands together around a collection of small pieces, and felt many of them slip between my fingers. I quickly reached again to collect the fallen pieces, but even more escaped my grasp. At that point, I understood it would be impossible to recreate my vase that had been broken. As the last remnants returned to the pile, I fell backwards and closed my eyes. A cooling tear made its way down my cheek to the edge of my ear. Reluctantly I let out a sigh of defeat.

As the breath left my lips, I noticed the tension running through my body. Shoulders scrunched to my ears. Knees locked out. Toes curled like talons trying to hold on for dear life. The sensation of tension created the illusion of effort. The tenser my body felt, the harder I felt I had worked. With a broken spirit, I lay paralyzed next to a broken vase desperately trying to formulate a path that didn’t end in failure.

Exhaustion began to spread throughout my body like a disease. The more I fought it, the more tired I grew. Before, fighting it always felt like the only option, but I was growing tired. As I desperately tried to fight off my own thoughts, I felt myself losing a battle I had been waging for far too long. Angrily I took another breath to try and clear my thoughts. With each breath of clarity, I reluctantly lowered my shoulders, bent my knees, and lastly I began to uncurl my toes one at a time. As each toe let go, I began to relinquish any hopes of accomplishing my current task. My arms lay heavy by my side as I did nothing to stop the tears starting down my face.

I pinched my eyes slightly to try and clear them. As I lay there, I thought back to the days I used to do yoga. Every session ended in Savasana (“corpse” pose) to bring the body to total relaxation. The lingering tension in my body slowly died off allowing my body to fully relax for the first time in a while. In that moment, nothing else mattered.

With an exhale, I whispered, “It’s okay.”

With the next exhale, I whispered, “I forgive you.”

I opened my eyes and sat up. It was going to be impossible recreate the broken vase no matter how hard I willed it. But that was okay. In the end, it’s going to become something different, something new, something beautiful.

[ongames]

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents

Easter is less than a week away, and parents are gearing up for egg hunts, creepy bunny photos and serious sugar highs.

As with any holiday, having kids makes Easter extra chaotic ... and extra hilarious too. We scoured Twitter and found 49 funny tweets from parents about celebrating Easter. 

Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year. Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

Just explained to my kids that sometimes an evil bunny comes and eats kids' Easter candy on the night of Easter.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) March 28, 2016

I forgot to buy Easter eggs for the hunt this morning so I told my kids that this year the bunny hid them REALLY well.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 5, 2015

My kids can find 75K plastic eggs hidden outside, but they can't pick up one Lego in the middle of the walkway. #Easter

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 27, 2016

Step 1: Paint Jesus on an Easter Egg. Step 2: Hide the Easter Egg. Step 3: Yell, "You need to find Jesus!" At all the little children.

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) March 27, 2016

It's 10:30 at night. Should I tell my kids to give up on the Easter egg hunt or just let them keep looking?

— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 28, 2016

Based on all of the practice my daughters get looking for shoes, Easter eggs don't stand a chance this year.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 27, 2015

Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2017

Shoutout to all the parents who wrestled their screaming toddlers into Brunch clothes this #Easter.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 27, 2016

This is my family after our Easter brunch. I share it b/c NO ONE ASKED THE EASTER BUNNY TO POSE WITH US http://pic.twitter.com/OEFYDmgqag

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 5, 2015

Kids really do make the holidays magical and bright. Like, take Easter for example. Did you know vomit comes in pastels, too?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 27, 2016

For real Easter dinner fun, serve rabbit to the kids' table.

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) March 27, 2016

My 8 year old said that he hopes the Easter Egg Hunt is more of a challenge this year so I'm buying a bunch of mouse traps.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 17, 2016

The Easter baskets are down to just robin eggs and black jelly beans. This is my official cry for help.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 1, 2016

Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. - Every parent on Easter

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016

Still waiting for this toddler to find the Easter Eggs that are literally sitting in the grass right in front of them.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 29, 2016

My kid started using air quotes when saying "Easter Bunny," so I started using air quotes when talking about his "Easter candy."

— qwertygirl (@qwertygirl) April 4, 2015

*8 year old walks into kitchen* "Daddy, I have some questions about the Easter bunny." *wife walks into kitchen* *I cartwheel out*

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 29, 2016

Parenting Tip: Strip down to your skivvies before stealing your kid's easter candy so you can pretend to be sleepwalking if you get caught.

— HammBone (@hammbone84) April 6, 2016

Toddler found two and a half eggs at the Easter egg hunt. Yeah, HALF. No one was messing around during that thing.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Hey, everyone! Look how much Easter I'm having! *Posts all the obnoxious kid and bunny and Easter basket and egg hunt pictures*

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 28, 2016

Do you think Easter is the number 1 holiday for child vehicular barfing?

— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) March 27, 2016

Easter: Hunt for eggs. Day After Easter: Can't go anywhere without seeing and stepping on plastic egg tops and bottoms.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 28, 2016

One fun part about Easter is how your kids spend the entire day getting jacked up on candy and then you remember it's a school night.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

We covered our backyard in candy-filled Easter eggs. My 1-year-old picked up zero eggs and one piece of dog poop. Money well spent.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014

"He can't drink the Easter egg dye." Submitted By: Ashley http://pic.twitter.com/SsRvbqaA4k

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 28, 2016

When did "Easter crafts" become a thing? What happened to the good old days of putting an egg in all the dye colors & watching it turn ugly?

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 22, 2016

Serious question. When does the Easter Bunny come by to pick up all the kids he just loaded up with candy? #parenting

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 28, 2016

FYI: Talking into a half-eaten hollow chocolate bunny makes your voice louder, in case anyone needs their Easter candy to be more obnoxious

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) March 30, 2016

My kids have figured out every hiding spot I have in this house, so I guess I have no choice but to finish this stash of Easter candy now.

— Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) March 29, 2016

How Easter candy is really made http://pic.twitter.com/EuEJpTSIUz

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 27, 2016

A cute and scientific thing I tell my kids is that the Easter Bunny's body would flop around for several minutes after decapitation.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 28, 2017

Pro Tip: Christmas lights can double as Easter lights if *you* leave them up long enough. *we*

— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 7, 2017

4 yr old son: "That Jesus guy came back from the dead and saw all these people? So then he's a zombie?"#Easter

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 27, 2016

5: here's the thing about chocolate: it's delicious. Me: is that it? 5: yes. Me: ok. 5: and I found an Easter egg from last year & ate it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 2, 2017

Jesus died on the cross so you could put pictures of your kid's Easter basket on Facebook.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 5, 2015

I forgot to post a picture of my kids in their Easter clothes on Facebook yesterday and now DCFS is knocking on my door.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 21, 2014

*Morgan Freeman narrates "Alex thought he'd controlled his demons, but as soon as the Cadbury Easter Eggs went on display, it was all over."

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) January 15, 2017

While we were sleeping, did Easter become Halloween Part 2/Mini-Christmas?? (Some of these baskets, man.)

— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) April 21, 2014

Celebrating Easter by being woke up at 5:15am and letting my kid her weight in chocolate before the sun comes up just like the Lord intended

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) March 27, 2016

[Wipes chocolate from face and brushes candy dust from lap.] I hate those cliche tweets about parents eating all their kids Easter candy.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) March 28, 2016

Hey Gals, don't forget to check Pinterest today for ideas on upcycling your Easter bonnet into an April Fool's Day chapeau.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 30, 2016

People who say “Hoppy Easter!” make me feel like Jesus isn’t risen.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 27, 2016

Real text to my husband: "Easter stuff is ready for the attic. But, please, whatever you do, keep the Christmas welcome mat outside okay?"

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) April 13, 2016

Behind every photo of kids coloring eggs is a parent screaming and threatening to take away Easter.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2016

My 8yo son asked for a smart phone for Easter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Everything about that phrase is ridiculous.

— Lady E (@LadyEdotMe) March 6, 2017

The Easter Bunny doesn't talk, so here are the kids awkwardly looking at each other like, What do we do now? http://pic.twitter.com/iTMDTx2VWe

— Aaron Schmidt (@byaaronschmidt) March 26, 2016

What came first? The tantrum over leaving a giant basket of candy at home, or the egg hunt? #Easter

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Bummed Easter is over. Now which candy/gift bestowing mythological creature am I supposed to use to extort good behavior out of my children?

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) April 21, 2014

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents published first on http://ift.tt/2lnpciY

[yes-dal456]

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents

Easter is less than a week away, and parents are gearing up for egg hunts, creepy bunny photos and serious sugar highs.

As with any holiday, having kids makes Easter extra chaotic ... and extra hilarious too. We scoured Twitter and found 49 funny tweets from parents about celebrating Easter. 

Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year. Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

Just explained to my kids that sometimes an evil bunny comes and eats kids' Easter candy on the night of Easter.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) March 28, 2016

I forgot to buy Easter eggs for the hunt this morning so I told my kids that this year the bunny hid them REALLY well.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 5, 2015

My kids can find 75K plastic eggs hidden outside, but they can't pick up one Lego in the middle of the walkway. #Easter

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 27, 2016

Step 1: Paint Jesus on an Easter Egg. Step 2: Hide the Easter Egg. Step 3: Yell, "You need to find Jesus!" At all the little children.

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) March 27, 2016

It's 10:30 at night. Should I tell my kids to give up on the Easter egg hunt or just let them keep looking?

— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 28, 2016

Based on all of the practice my daughters get looking for shoes, Easter eggs don't stand a chance this year.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 27, 2015

Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2017

Shoutout to all the parents who wrestled their screaming toddlers into Brunch clothes this #Easter.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 27, 2016

This is my family after our Easter brunch. I share it b/c NO ONE ASKED THE EASTER BUNNY TO POSE WITH US http://pic.twitter.com/OEFYDmgqag

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 5, 2015

Kids really do make the holidays magical and bright. Like, take Easter for example. Did you know vomit comes in pastels, too?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 27, 2016

For real Easter dinner fun, serve rabbit to the kids' table.

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) March 27, 2016

My 8 year old said that he hopes the Easter Egg Hunt is more of a challenge this year so I'm buying a bunch of mouse traps.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 17, 2016

The Easter baskets are down to just robin eggs and black jelly beans. This is my official cry for help.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 1, 2016

Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. - Every parent on Easter

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016

Still waiting for this toddler to find the Easter Eggs that are literally sitting in the grass right in front of them.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 29, 2016

My kid started using air quotes when saying "Easter Bunny," so I started using air quotes when talking about his "Easter candy."

— qwertygirl (@qwertygirl) April 4, 2015

*8 year old walks into kitchen* "Daddy, I have some questions about the Easter bunny." *wife walks into kitchen* *I cartwheel out*

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 29, 2016

Parenting Tip: Strip down to your skivvies before stealing your kid's easter candy so you can pretend to be sleepwalking if you get caught.

— HammBone (@hammbone84) April 6, 2016

Toddler found two and a half eggs at the Easter egg hunt. Yeah, HALF. No one was messing around during that thing.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Hey, everyone! Look how much Easter I'm having! *Posts all the obnoxious kid and bunny and Easter basket and egg hunt pictures*

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 28, 2016

Do you think Easter is the number 1 holiday for child vehicular barfing?

— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) March 27, 2016

Easter: Hunt for eggs. Day After Easter: Can't go anywhere without seeing and stepping on plastic egg tops and bottoms.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 28, 2016

One fun part about Easter is how your kids spend the entire day getting jacked up on candy and then you remember it's a school night.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

We covered our backyard in candy-filled Easter eggs. My 1-year-old picked up zero eggs and one piece of dog poop. Money well spent.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014

"He can't drink the Easter egg dye." Submitted By: Ashley http://pic.twitter.com/SsRvbqaA4k

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 28, 2016

When did "Easter crafts" become a thing? What happened to the good old days of putting an egg in all the dye colors & watching it turn ugly?

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 22, 2016

Serious question. When does the Easter Bunny come by to pick up all the kids he just loaded up with candy? #parenting

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 28, 2016

FYI: Talking into a half-eaten hollow chocolate bunny makes your voice louder, in case anyone needs their Easter candy to be more obnoxious

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) March 30, 2016

My kids have figured out every hiding spot I have in this house, so I guess I have no choice but to finish this stash of Easter candy now.

— Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) March 29, 2016

How Easter candy is really made http://pic.twitter.com/EuEJpTSIUz

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 27, 2016

A cute and scientific thing I tell my kids is that the Easter Bunny's body would flop around for several minutes after decapitation.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 28, 2017

Pro Tip: Christmas lights can double as Easter lights if *you* leave them up long enough. *we*

— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 7, 2017

4 yr old son: "That Jesus guy came back from the dead and saw all these people? So then he's a zombie?"#Easter

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 27, 2016

5: here's the thing about chocolate: it's delicious. Me: is that it? 5: yes. Me: ok. 5: and I found an Easter egg from last year & ate it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 2, 2017

Jesus died on the cross so you could put pictures of your kid's Easter basket on Facebook.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 5, 2015

I forgot to post a picture of my kids in their Easter clothes on Facebook yesterday and now DCFS is knocking on my door.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 21, 2014

*Morgan Freeman narrates "Alex thought he'd controlled his demons, but as soon as the Cadbury Easter Eggs went on display, it was all over."

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) January 15, 2017

While we were sleeping, did Easter become Halloween Part 2/Mini-Christmas?? (Some of these baskets, man.)

— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) April 21, 2014

Celebrating Easter by being woke up at 5:15am and letting my kid her weight in chocolate before the sun comes up just like the Lord intended

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) March 27, 2016

[Wipes chocolate from face and brushes candy dust from lap.] I hate those cliche tweets about parents eating all their kids Easter candy.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) March 28, 2016

Hey Gals, don't forget to check Pinterest today for ideas on upcycling your Easter bonnet into an April Fool's Day chapeau.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 30, 2016

People who say “Hoppy Easter!” make me feel like Jesus isn’t risen.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 27, 2016

Real text to my husband: "Easter stuff is ready for the attic. But, please, whatever you do, keep the Christmas welcome mat outside okay?"

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) April 13, 2016

Behind every photo of kids coloring eggs is a parent screaming and threatening to take away Easter.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2016

My 8yo son asked for a smart phone for Easter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Everything about that phrase is ridiculous.

— Lady E (@LadyEdotMe) March 6, 2017

The Easter Bunny doesn't talk, so here are the kids awkwardly looking at each other like, What do we do now? http://pic.twitter.com/iTMDTx2VWe

— Aaron Schmidt (@byaaronschmidt) March 26, 2016

What came first? The tantrum over leaving a giant basket of candy at home, or the egg hunt? #Easter

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Bummed Easter is over. Now which candy/gift bestowing mythological creature am I supposed to use to extort good behavior out of my children?

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) April 21, 2014

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from http://ift.tt/2orswP4 from Blogger http://ift.tt/2oYrcDP

[imreviewblog]

49 Tweets That Sum Up Easter For Parents

Easter is less than a week away, and parents are gearing up for egg hunts, creepy bunny photos and serious sugar highs.

As with any holiday, having kids makes Easter extra chaotic ... and extra hilarious too. We scoured Twitter and found 49 funny tweets from parents about celebrating Easter. 

Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year. Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

Just explained to my kids that sometimes an evil bunny comes and eats kids' Easter candy on the night of Easter.

— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) March 28, 2016

I forgot to buy Easter eggs for the hunt this morning so I told my kids that this year the bunny hid them REALLY well.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 5, 2015

My kids can find 75K plastic eggs hidden outside, but they can't pick up one Lego in the middle of the walkway. #Easter

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 27, 2016

Step 1: Paint Jesus on an Easter Egg. Step 2: Hide the Easter Egg. Step 3: Yell, "You need to find Jesus!" At all the little children.

— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) March 27, 2016

It's 10:30 at night. Should I tell my kids to give up on the Easter egg hunt or just let them keep looking?

— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) March 28, 2016

Based on all of the practice my daughters get looking for shoes, Easter eggs don't stand a chance this year.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 27, 2015

Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2017

Shoutout to all the parents who wrestled their screaming toddlers into Brunch clothes this #Easter.

— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 27, 2016

This is my family after our Easter brunch. I share it b/c NO ONE ASKED THE EASTER BUNNY TO POSE WITH US http://pic.twitter.com/OEFYDmgqag

— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) April 5, 2015

Kids really do make the holidays magical and bright. Like, take Easter for example. Did you know vomit comes in pastels, too?

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 27, 2016

For real Easter dinner fun, serve rabbit to the kids' table.

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) March 27, 2016

My 8 year old said that he hopes the Easter Egg Hunt is more of a challenge this year so I'm buying a bunch of mouse traps.

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 17, 2016

The Easter baskets are down to just robin eggs and black jelly beans. This is my official cry for help.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 1, 2016

Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. Please let that be chocolate. - Every parent on Easter

— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016

Still waiting for this toddler to find the Easter Eggs that are literally sitting in the grass right in front of them.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 29, 2016

My kid started using air quotes when saying "Easter Bunny," so I started using air quotes when talking about his "Easter candy."

— qwertygirl (@qwertygirl) April 4, 2015

*8 year old walks into kitchen* "Daddy, I have some questions about the Easter bunny." *wife walks into kitchen* *I cartwheel out*

— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) March 29, 2016

Parenting Tip: Strip down to your skivvies before stealing your kid's easter candy so you can pretend to be sleepwalking if you get caught.

— HammBone (@hammbone84) April 6, 2016

Toddler found two and a half eggs at the Easter egg hunt. Yeah, HALF. No one was messing around during that thing.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Hey, everyone! Look how much Easter I'm having! *Posts all the obnoxious kid and bunny and Easter basket and egg hunt pictures*

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 28, 2016

Do you think Easter is the number 1 holiday for child vehicular barfing?

— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) March 27, 2016

Easter: Hunt for eggs. Day After Easter: Can't go anywhere without seeing and stepping on plastic egg tops and bottoms.

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) March 28, 2016

One fun part about Easter is how your kids spend the entire day getting jacked up on candy and then you remember it's a school night.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016

We covered our backyard in candy-filled Easter eggs. My 1-year-old picked up zero eggs and one piece of dog poop. Money well spent.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 20, 2014

"He can't drink the Easter egg dye." Submitted By: Ashley http://pic.twitter.com/SsRvbqaA4k

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) March 28, 2016

When did "Easter crafts" become a thing? What happened to the good old days of putting an egg in all the dye colors & watching it turn ugly?

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 22, 2016

Serious question. When does the Easter Bunny come by to pick up all the kids he just loaded up with candy? #parenting

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) March 28, 2016

FYI: Talking into a half-eaten hollow chocolate bunny makes your voice louder, in case anyone needs their Easter candy to be more obnoxious

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) March 30, 2016

My kids have figured out every hiding spot I have in this house, so I guess I have no choice but to finish this stash of Easter candy now.

— Ash (@cray_at_home_ma) March 29, 2016

How Easter candy is really made http://pic.twitter.com/EuEJpTSIUz

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) March 27, 2016

A cute and scientific thing I tell my kids is that the Easter Bunny's body would flop around for several minutes after decapitation.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 28, 2017

Pro Tip: Christmas lights can double as Easter lights if *you* leave them up long enough. *we*

— Six Pack Mom (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 7, 2017

4 yr old son: "That Jesus guy came back from the dead and saw all these people? So then he's a zombie?"#Easter

— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) March 27, 2016

5: here's the thing about chocolate: it's delicious. Me: is that it? 5: yes. Me: ok. 5: and I found an Easter egg from last year & ate it.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 2, 2017

Jesus died on the cross so you could put pictures of your kid's Easter basket on Facebook.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 5, 2015

I forgot to post a picture of my kids in their Easter clothes on Facebook yesterday and now DCFS is knocking on my door.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 21, 2014

*Morgan Freeman narrates "Alex thought he'd controlled his demons, but as soon as the Cadbury Easter Eggs went on display, it was all over."

— Once Meh, Always Meh (@TheAlexNevil) January 15, 2017

While we were sleeping, did Easter become Halloween Part 2/Mini-Christmas?? (Some of these baskets, man.)

— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) April 21, 2014

Celebrating Easter by being woke up at 5:15am and letting my kid her weight in chocolate before the sun comes up just like the Lord intended

— Tim (@Playing_Dad) March 27, 2016

[Wipes chocolate from face and brushes candy dust from lap.] I hate those cliche tweets about parents eating all their kids Easter candy.

— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) March 28, 2016

Hey Gals, don't forget to check Pinterest today for ideas on upcycling your Easter bonnet into an April Fool's Day chapeau.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 30, 2016

People who say “Hoppy Easter!” make me feel like Jesus isn’t risen.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 27, 2016

Real text to my husband: "Easter stuff is ready for the attic. But, please, whatever you do, keep the Christmas welcome mat outside okay?"

— Jenna Fischer (@jennafischer) April 13, 2016

Behind every photo of kids coloring eggs is a parent screaming and threatening to take away Easter.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2016

My 8yo son asked for a smart phone for Easter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Everything about that phrase is ridiculous.

— Lady E (@LadyEdotMe) March 6, 2017

The Easter Bunny doesn't talk, so here are the kids awkwardly looking at each other like, What do we do now? http://pic.twitter.com/iTMDTx2VWe

— Aaron Schmidt (@byaaronschmidt) March 26, 2016

What came first? The tantrum over leaving a giant basket of candy at home, or the egg hunt? #Easter

— dadpression (@Dadpression) March 27, 2016

Bummed Easter is over. Now which candy/gift bestowing mythological creature am I supposed to use to extort good behavior out of my children?

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) April 21, 2014

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from Healthy Living - The Huffington Post http://huff.to/2pmklAE