#saint pauli

[mathiaskammerer]

Mathias Kammerer, 2022

[brokeandfamouseu]

want. // 2024

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1114 - Initial Thoughts

And we are back

TCB uploaded on a Thursday for the first time in yonks, but it had to be midway through my trip back from work

but anyway, GLOBAL WARMING! Vegapunk is pouring the tea, the world is sinking, so what more does he have to say and how will the world react?

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release Also!

Yamato's pilgrimage involves taking the long way around Wano to bring Yasuie's sword to the Enma shrine (the god of the underworld not Zoro's sword)

We'll likely encounter a bunch of characters on the trek but it surprises me that he's bringing back Yasuie's sword and not Shusui to Ryuma's grave. Either are still fine but I feel like that had more narrative significance, though if that was the task then Zoro wouldn't have been able to visit his grave off-screen - which should've very much been on-screen!

You know the tea is spilling when the chapter title is 'The wings of Icarus'

Naturally, the world takes in the revelation we left off on

The Navy reacts first, the Vice Admirals in disbelief but Akainu silent

Mock Town of all places is next, filled with nonbelievers of dreams, they mock the smartest man on the planet and deem themselves wise

Water Seven are shocked too, finding it difficult to believe that it's the whole world and not just them

Paulie and Pepe Lulu cameo too (love Franky but in another life I would've liked to have seen Paulie as a Straw Hat, would've been a perfect foil for Sanji too since he's a bashful perv, plus Nami would totally abuse how bad he is with gambling)

Doflamingo of course is revelling in the news, mocking Magellan about how this affects Impel Down

It's so surreal to me how we all know that Doflamingo is a menace, his debut literally involved him pitting marines against one another, but now he's in Impel Down he's just chilling, on his back just vibing with people like Magellan and Tsuru

It seems the Mother Flame's flooding did cause some problems for Impel Down

Doffy predicts that it'll take 5 more meters for most of the world to be flooded

He also implies evacuating 'somewhere high up' - like the Red Line maybe?

Fishman Island also reacts to the news, like everyone else they find it hard to believe

Back at Egghead though, the Buster Call don't care if it's valid, it's coming from Vegapunk so it holds weight but either way it's bringing unrest and discourse

The Gorosei meanwhile are livid, even considering going scorched earth to stop it

York is also annoyed, suck on it

Vegapunk makes a prediction, accurately pointing out the weather effects of Lulusia being wiped out

That for sure has got people more convinced, given how it's pre-recorded

Surprise Smoothie and Mont D'or cameos too!

And another already flooded island is surprised how much to a tee Vegapunk got the prediction right

Damn even Tonjit from Long Ring Long Land is getting a cameo!

Aokiji bandaged up also listens from Fullalead

Vegapunk also calls out that the earthquakes were not natural, which really sets the Gorosei off

The Straw Hats continue to fend off Saturn to protect Robin, with Lilith also in on the fight

Most of them get knocked away though, being caught by Robin's Spider Web

Saturn does still appear to be showing some damage, so still props to the crew for doing the job

Because Saturn has shifted his priority from Robin, making his way to the power station to protect it

Saturn crashes in, as Vegapunk explains his obsession with finding an unlimited energy source

Back to his 'human' form, Saturn basks in the Mother Flame

I was expecting something different, but it is a tiny flame kept in a giant tank

I wonder if the S-108 and the A&Mu stand for something? The latter are not elements on the Periodic Table

Also it's a flame inside liquid, A FLAME INSIDE OF LIQUID!

The Sleeping Giant still is on the move, passing unfazed through fire and flame

Even the Giants are struggling in the flames, still in pursuit by Warcury

Luffy however is back in Gear Fifth, that fermented shark meat must've done the trick

Marejois is stirring though, because Vegapunk has just brought up the void century

Most of the Celestial Dragons are in uproar, blaming the marines and feeling big enough to take on Vegapunk to kill him themselves

Though, interestingly, Saint Shalria - Charloss' sister - seems almost intrigued, it appears not all the Celestial Dragons know about the Void Century

Vegapunk goes on to talk about how the Poneglyphs are key to the void century

In a woodland a giant lounges as he takes in the news, the familiar laugh of Dereshishishi coming from him

I'm still not certain it's Jaguar D. Saul mind you, why hide his face for so long?

Man we're even going as far back as Orange Town!

With the Mayor and Chouchou!

The benefits of having a 20+ year manga is how you can bring back so many minor characters briefly to just show the entire scale of the world that's been built

We also see Margaret from Amazon Lily, her face seems conflicted

Vegapunk however explains that his second sin was trying to decipher the Poneglyphs, using documentation gathered from Ohara

Since Luffy could hear the broadcast I'm sure Robin is hearing it too, I wonder how she feels about Vegapunk about to lore drop a bunch of Poneglyph stuff she didn't get to discover herself

Brook is also calling for Zoro and Jinbe, not sure what their status is, same with Franky, Bonney, Atlas and Sanji vs V. Nusjuro

'History is a story, after all' is a lowkey banger line

But the Labophase is behaving differently, the clouds are stretching

Edison's plan has come into action, making the clouds wider so the Sunny can drop off into the ocean

Credit to Usopp for figuring it out too

Seems like the little tyke isn't making it out, it may end up being just Lilith at this stage

Vegapunk keeps going, stating that he only knows little about the void century, so he'll give the world some of the only facts he knows

Luffy strikes Warcury again with a Gear Fifth big punch, but the result hurts his hand all the same

Meanwhile Vegapunk details the story of a person born 900 years ago to a bountiful and advanced kingdom

Just like Nika, he had an elastic and stretchy body - which the world will very much connect to Luffy - called Joy Boy

Joy Boy was the first man to take to the seas: The First Pirate

But a break again next week, I know last week was a SJ break than an Oda break but c'mon I feel like he does this every year!

Oda sure loves to set a stage huh? What do you mean Joy Boy was the first pirate? That'd imply he's rebelling against something right? Was the advanced kingdom too restrictive maybe? So much still yet to be said

For the most part, what the characters were doing this chapter were secondary to this announcement built up, it's still cool that the Straw Hats deterred Saturn away from Robin - though we are overdue seeing Jinbe and Zoro do something of substance. Ju Peter and Mars are still kinda floating around, Doll and Bluegrass were circling the island last we saw them too. But yeah, lots of unique and surprising cameos, the mystery deepens as the plot continues somehow to thicken.

[fefflerone]

Listen, I know everyone has beef with The Many Saints of Newark, but can we just appreciate for a moment how damn babygirl Paulie was?

[nikkistclaire]

the fact that he came in and said exactly what she said but in his own words 🥹

[x-heesy]

𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝝝𝗨 𝗖𝝝𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖

𝗜 𝝠𝗠 𝝠 𝗗𝝠𝗡𝗖𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝝠𝗡𝗗𝗪𝗜𝗖𝗛 🎧💃🏽🕺🏼🪩🚀💥

𝝠 𝗧𝗥𝝠𝗖𝗞 𝝠 𝗗𝝠𝗬 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝝠 𝗗𝝝𝗖𝗧𝝝𝗥 𝝠𝗪𝝠𝗬

𝗚𝝝𝝝𝗦𝗘𝗕𝗨𝗠𝗣𝗦 / 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝝠𝗧𝗜𝝝𝗡𝝠𝗟 𝗕𝗘𝝠𝗧𝗦 /𝗜𝗡𝗧𝝝𝗠𝗬𝗦𝝝𝗨𝗟 / 𝗘𝝠𝗥𝗚𝝠𝗦𝗠 / 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗭𝗭 𝗜𝗭 𝝠 𝗚𝗜𝗙 𝝠𝗧𝗧𝝠𝗖𝗞 / 𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗗𝗥𝗨𝗚𝗦𝝠𝗡𝗗𝗦𝝝𝗖𝗞𝗦𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗛𝝝𝗟𝗘𝗦 / 𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝗦𝝠𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗗𝗘𝝠𝗗 / 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗬 𝝠𝗦𝗦 / 𝗚 𝝝 𝗗 𝗜 𝗦 𝝠 𝗗 𝗝 / ΓЯДCҜФFΓHΞDДУ / 𝗗𝗘𝗘𝗣𝗗𝝠𝗥𝗞𝝠𝗡𝗗𝗗𝝠𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥𝝝𝗨𝗦 / 𝗣𝗛𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗜𝗧 𝟰 𝗣𝗛𝗨𝗡 / 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝝝𝗨𝗧𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗪𝝝𝗨𝗟𝗗𝗕𝗘𝝠𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗧𝝠𝗞𝗘 / 𝗪𝝝𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗜 𝗖𝝝𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗖𝗥𝗬 / 𝗪𝗘𝗜𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝝠 𝗖𝝝𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 / 𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗡 𝗧𝗪𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗 🎧 / 𝗟𝝝𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝝝 / 𝗧𝗛𝝠𝗡𝗞𝗦 𝗟𝝝𝗥𝗗 𝟰 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞 / 𝗜𝗠𝗙𝗥𝗘𝝠𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝝝𝗨𝗧 / 𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗧𝝝𝗗𝝠𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝝝𝗨𝗧 / 𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗕𝝠𝗦𝗦𝗠𝝠𝗦𝗦𝝠𝗖𝗥𝗘 / 𝗦𝗛𝝠𝗞𝗘𝗪𝗛𝝠𝗧𝗬𝝠𝗠𝝠𝗠𝝠𝗚𝝠𝗩𝗘𝗬𝝠 /𝗗𝗥𝝝𝗣𝗕𝗘𝝠𝗧𝗦𝗡𝝝𝗧𝗕𝝝𝗠𝗕𝗦 / 𝗥𝝝̈𝗛𝗥𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗖𝗛 / 𝗜’𝗠 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝝝

#panicdynamicpandemic #trackoftheday #gifattack #gifmania #moody #edm #electronicmusic #shakewhatyamamagaveya #raaaaven #electroshockboogie #dancemfdance #partymusic #lostinmusic #thankslordfortechno @decemberthenemesis

𝗧𝗥𝝠𝗖𝗞 𝝝𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝝠𝗬: 𝙰𝚋𝚋𝚎𝚋𝚎 - 𝚂𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎 𝚅𝚒𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚡 𝚋𝚢 𝙰𝚌𝚒𝚍 𝙿𝚊𝚞𝚕𝚒

[actualmermaid]

All of my icon-drawing, meme-making, and queer Christian history research has led to this moment:

The unstoppable tag team of the Reverend Doctor Pauli Murray and Professor John Boswell, King and Queen of gender and sexuality, 20th century queer elders and patron saints of LGBTQ Christians, have destroyed the cisheteropatriarchy once and for all

(They've also seen our online queer discourse and they're not impressed)

[the-only-trans-sopranos-fan]

watching many saints of newark and this shit is so goofy like what were they thinking putting all these marvel ass easter eggs all over the place like silvio's dad is in it for no fucking reason ???? and then livia mentions how tony should go into selling patio furniture like her cousin (which is a nod to the kevin finnerty dreams which showcase the life tony could have lived WHERE HE IS A PATIO FURNITURE SALESMAN) the sopranos cinematic universe is real and uncle junior is thanos

also they did young paulie so dirty i will never forgive them

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Kiss Me, I'm-

A Curtis and Honey Holiday Special

Summary- 3.2k Curtis x Plus Sized Reader. Saint Patrick's Day is in full swing at Paulie's Bar. You and Paulie play a friendly game of flip cup, that results in the whole bar getting a special holiday round of beer. As well as an opportunity for Curtis to get you all to himself.

Warnings- Dirty Talk, Sexual Activities, Alcohol Consumption, Buzzed/Drunk.

A/N- Thank you so much @mumbles411 for reading through this piece as well as all our conversations about Curtis and Honey. I really appreciate all the times you just drop a random thought and we weave whole scenarios around it. @bigtreefest thank you so much for dropping that ask in my inbox that prompted this. To all the readers, gosh you guys are incredible. Thank you!

If you happen to celebrate the holiday, please stay safe.

If you enjoyed this, please leave a comment and/or give a share.

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet Masterlist

“You can try to kick my ass at this.” You smirked as you flicked the cap off of a jameson bottle, the top spinning across the bar's counter till Paulie smacked his hand against it to keep it from spinning onto his floor. 

“Oh girl, I know I am going to.” Paulie set down a line of red solo cups between the two of you, his eyes narrowed at your challenge. “Saint Patricks Day is a bartender's Christmas, I’m not about to let you out-flip me at flip cup.” He informed you while taking the bottle of Jameson, pouring some whiskey down the line and finishing the rest of the cups with his green beer. 

Edgar at your side scrunched up his face. “So instead of Santa, you have little leprechauns you look forward to? Just fucking creepy man, I hate those little bastards.” He shuddered. 

You laughed while bumping your shoulder against Edgar’s. “Even Lucky the lucky charms leprechaun?” 

“ESPECIALLY HIM! You know he is a scheming little bastard. You’ve seen the movies, those leprechauns will murder you just because.” 

Paulie scoffed at Edgar, setting the bottle and pitcher aside. 

“Oooh! That was such a terrible set of movies.” You glanced over your shoulder towards where Curtis was in a game of pool with Ella. “We should watch the leprechaun movie later!” The balls clanked loudly after he took his shot and straightened up, leveling you a look. 

“Honey, you taking that line of shots with Paulie, you’re gonna be out of commission tonight.” You scoffed to hide your grin, knowing he was right. After this topped  off with the green beer Paulie was serving to celebrate, you were gonna be wasted. “Okay, tomorrow then.”

Ella piped up from the other side of the pool table. “Oh, I vote sleepover and we build a fort in the living room to watch them. Curtis can make us his hangover cure.” 

“Deal.” You gave her some cheesy finger guns while Curtis eyed you, a playful gleam in his expression. 

“Remember that when I’m trying to get you out of bed tomorrow.” 

“Wait, can I crash this sleepover?” Edgar pouted and you slung your arm over his shoulder, drawing him in close. 

“The more the merrier, of course you're invited.” From behind you, you could hear Curtis and Ella debating about the best hangover cures and just how committed Curtis was to cooking for all of you in the morning. 

“Okay! Back to what we were doing… Paulie, you ready?” 

“At drinking you under the table? Sweetheart I was born ready.” He curled his fingers on one of the cups at one end, preparing. You both stare at each other trying to intimidate the other. “The one with the most flipped cups wins.” 

Curtis came up behind you at some point, his hands resting on your tense shoulders, squeezing lightly and you saw Paulie's eyes flicker behind you. “Bet’s on that Y/N gets in more shots. I know my girl, she doesn’t back down from a challenge.”

Oh did that make you tingle all over at his praise. Now you absolutely had to win.

“Prepare to lose your money Everett.” Paulie shot back but you just gave a cool smirk at the man. Edgar watched the clock above the bar and as soon as the second hand hit the new minute mark, his palm slammed down on the bar, making you leap into action. 

You were good at this game, college had taught you the efficiency of keeping calm instead of trying to rush in flipping the cups. 

Meaning while Paulie was fumbling with some of his flips, yours were steadily flipping in the correct manner, wincing whenever you came across the shots of whiskey, the beer though went down a lot easier. 

“Son of a bitch, flip.” Paulie sputtered, seeming to get stuck halfway up the line. You were laser focused, the whiskey making your eyes water with every heavy swallow. Curtis was whispering in your ear about how you were turning him on right then.

“Come’on Pretty Girl. Show them how good my girl is.” 

Between that and the burn of alcohol, you were swimming in the rush of it. The last cup flipped and you threw your hands up in victory with a cheer, just barely beating out Paulie by a matter of seconds. From behind you Curtis gave a victory yell, pulling you into him while you were still jumping and dancing in your win. 

“Ya got lucky.” Paulie huffed while Curtis reached over you to grab the Jameson bottle and took a drag off it, claiming it for himself. 

“My girl has fucking talent.” Curtis praised, his arms enclosing you against his firm chest. Warmth filled you, feeding you till you squirmed back against him, his grunt quietly muffled in your hair. 

“Tease.” He whispered, flexing his hold on you to keep you still for now. 

The whiskey as well as the rush of excitement had you floating on that feel-good sensation that you were ready to ride till it faded away. 

“Alright Y/N, how are we celebrating?” Paulie leaned against the bar after cleaning up the pile of red solo cups and the remnants of jameson spilled across the bar. 

“Beers.” You demanded. “St.Patrick’s Day demands it.” 

“How about the next round on me then?” Paulie offered, gathering up the pitchers of beer to refill glasses. 

“THE WHOLE BAR?” came a shout from somewhere in the room, you suspected it was Ella. Paulie conceded, waving over his customers to claim their free beer. 

Curtis took his chance with the rush to the bar, tugging you away from the crowd and slipping the two of you through doors leading to the back rooms and the office. You giggled as he rounded on you, grabbing your hips and swinging you up to wrap your legs around his waist. “We aren’t supposed to be back here.” You chided, teasing as your hand wrapped around the back of his neck, hovering your lips close to his. 

“Paulie is too fucking busy now losing part of his profits to notice where we are.” Curtis growled while continuing his mission to get you all to himself. Pushing open the office door with his shoulder, his hand fumbled on the lock while you crashed your mouth to his, 

Pinning you back against the door, your head banged back with a soft thud while he traveled away from your lips, grinding into you. 

“How's that whiskey treating you Pretty Girl?” 

You whimpered when you felt his kiss at your pulse point turn harder, making you tingle at the sensation. “Good, really good…” 

“Want me to make it even better?” His mouth finds your ear, teasing you enough to make you bite your lip at the loss of his mouth. 

This man knew how to drive you crazy, your body arching to press against his all that much more although he already had you pinned tightly against the door. “Please Curtis?” Your tone is aching and needy, lust filled.

“Fuck when you sound like that.” He growled as his mouth reclaimed yours, swinging you away from the door and falling back into the chair behind the office desk, while your hands reached between you two, tugging his belt open. “It makes me so fucking hard for you.” 

“How long do you think we have?” You moved to kiss along his bristled jawline, nipping at his neck while he reached around you to shake the computer mouse and pull up the bar's cameras. 

“Plenty of time Pretty Girl.” He wrapped a hand into your hair, pulling you back till you were sitting up straight and his eyes could roam up and down your body, licking his lips like you were just made to be devoured. “Get out of those pants and turn around.” His palm smacked against your ass, making a slapping sound but your jeans kept away any sting. You lifted yourself off to do as he asked, a glance over your shoulder showed him shimming his pants and boxers down off his hips. For good measure, you stripped your shirt off to drop it with your pants. 

“We’re gonna have to buy Paulie a new chair.” You giggle as you finally get one of your legs free and Curtis grasps your hips to make you back up, his touch going between your thick thighs to tighten his fingers into your panties, making them rub right up against your clit. “Fuck.” You hiss, rocking your hips enough to create friction. 

“Leather chair Pretty Girl, he will never know once I wipe it back down.” 

The image of Curtis’s ass cheeks in the leather made you giggle between breathy moans, another glance over your shoulder catching sight of him spitting on his hand and rubbing it up and down his cock. You couldn't muffle the giggles while Curtis pushed aside your panties finally and had you start to lower on him slowly, gentle bounces and thrusts working him in. “Although your ass print should be considered a work of art.” The image of framing the chair with two distinct ass cheek imprints having you laughing harder until Curtis pushed you down into his lap. 

“You're a fucking work of art, remind me to nail you up against a wall later.” He stated, his hands flexing in appreciation along the curve of your hips.

A gasp escaped you, falling back into his chest with a buzzed grin plastered on your face. “I ever tell you how much I love feeling you. Mmmhh when I first met you I said ‘Y/N, that man has a cock made to ride.” 

Curtis snorted behind you, running his hands up your front to tease your breasts in his hands, pushing your bra out of the way. “Was that before you went all teacher mode or after you left?” 

You moved your hands over his, making him squeeze harder till he was doing the exact pressure you wanted. “Oh definitely during, the whole time we were walking around and I had to ask those questions. Good thing I had my note cards or else I would have failed at being logical.” 

You felt the press of his smile against your cheek and a groan coming from him, followed by a curse.  Squeezing your cunt around him always made him a little more vocal and you loved hearing him. “Wanna know what I was thinking the whole time?” He muttered in your ear before pushing you forward to sit up, your hands landing on the desk edge in front of you and his own touch slid down to your hips. 

Digging into you like he was holding on. 

“How this perfect fucking cunt was made to take my cock.” He thrusted up hard, making you jolt in his lap and flutter excitedly. “Knowing how god damn sexy you would be when you went mindless, begging for more.” He started faster, making you bounce on him. Your hands tightened their grip on Paulie’s desk to keep you from falling forward, the jolts making your little sounds escaping broken sounding almost pathetic. “How you played sweet and innocent that day, but I knew that was just a show…”

Your head nodded, your ass slapping down onto his lap now, your body jiggling in the forceful movements. His cock pounding into you was making your eyes roll, how good it felt to feel him fuck into you over and over. “T’was Curtis, I wanted…” 

“Wanted what Pretty Girl?” He asked, his tongue and teeth sinking into your shoulder blade and kissing your flexing back. Sure there would be a mark on you, his mark and that satisfied him on a whole other level. 

“That.” 

“What’s that?” Curtis let go of your hips, to roam his hands over you, palming your breast again and squeezing till you shuddered in his hold. Your own touch flew back to grab at the back of his head, holding on. 

“To be dirty for you.” 

He hissed when your cunt fluttered again, squeezing and sucking him back in, like you never wanted him to leave. “Fuck you are, you would get down right now and suck my cock, or bend over this desk wouldn’t you? All with the office camera rolling for a video.” 

Your head nodded, tilting back with parted lips crying his name out louder than you should have. His hand at your chest slapped over your lips, muffling your cries. “My pretty little whore, we gotta be quiet.” 

You didn't care, the alcohol buzzing in your system, sneaking off with Curtis and him talking like this to you was making you stupid with pleasure. Your pants were rushed, the slap of your body against his and the creak of the leather was just adding to it all. The small office felt heated, now smelled of sex, and you couldn't stop giggling behind his palm. “You gonna come for me, soak this cock?” 

A firm nod had you grabbing at his hand still wrapped at your waist, shoving it between your thighs with a moaning yes when his fingertips pressed against your clit. A deep laugh, knowing that you needed to have that touch in order to get yourself off. “Come on Pretty Girl.” He grunted in your ear, the twirl of his fingers and the rub he was giving your clit making your heart race, the tension just before coming building, swiftly now. Like you were about to crash. “Someone is gonna come looking for us, and see you spread all out on this chair with my cock buried deep in this weeping cunt. You don’t want that do you?” The snap of his teeth signaling just how close Curtis was. 

No? Maybe? You knew it gave you a rush, which just added to the moment. “Curtis!” His name falling from you like a prayer muffled behind his palm, ready to crash into shattered oblivious pieces, falling apart in his lap where he yanked you back, the slap of his hips underneath you had his cock pushing into your squelching cunt while chasing for his own orgasm now that you came. 

Yours left you floating, giving yourself over to him to use you however he wanted while you just let yourself continue enjoying the buzz of sex and alcohol. 

“Fuck, FUCK!” Curtis’s muffled roar was against your shoulder, biting onto you with a grunt as he pulled you hard onto him one last time, warmth making you clench on him again, rocking your hips slightly with a satisfied moan of your own. Your head tilted into his, both of you panting heavily to catch your breaths when his hand dropped from your mouth and rested against your heaving chest, his palm flattening against the racing of your heart.

“We should sneak in here more often.” You snickered while pushing up to sit, Curtis sliding his hands around your waist and following up to hug you from behind, letting his face press against your shoulder. 

“Don’t worry, I know where Paulie hides his office keys for when he starts locking the door.” He muttered, pressing kisses across the top of your back to the other shoulder. “Move that mouse, see where he is.” 

You leaned forward to shove the mouse enough to take off the old school screensaver, peering at the grainy screen. "Still at the bar, busy too. Looks like Saint Patrick's Day really is his Christmas.” 

“Good…” Curtis gave a push to have the chair roll back away from the desk a bit. “Turn around so I can hold you proper for a few minutes before we go back out there.” 

“Does he really have cameras in here Curtis?” Your eyes bounced around, searching. You certainly didn’t want Paulie seeing this on video. 

“No Honey, I helped him set them up and he just has one facing the door, not inside.” His lips pressed against your shoulder and then helped you to stand, your legs a bit wobbly and twist around to sit back in his lap, the leather chair giving a groan once more, making you break out in a giggle. 

Nothing was gonna ruin your mood tonight, not even knowing the chances you were gonna have a hangover could kill the high you were feeling right now. His arms wrapped back around you, palms brushing up and down your back while you tucked yourself in against his chest, silence filling the room. “You know I am really looking forward to tomorrow.” You tucked your face on his shoulder, letting your hand rest against his chest, playing with his chain, your fingers twisting in it. 

“Mmhh, is it the fact you are making a fort on the living room floor with Ella and Edgar to watch Leprechaun? Or the hangover cure I’m supposed to make you guys?” 

“Both.” You lifted your head, finding his lips with yours and giving him a slow affectionate kiss. “I love you very much. For much more than you making me feel really good in Paulie’s office, which he is gonna be pissed about.” You were sure to point out as his grin grew, his arms tightening just a little more to keep you in close to him. “Although I do feel really really good, and that's only a little bit from the jameson.” You rambled on and Curtis couldn’t help his reaction, his head tipping back and a deep chested booming laughter sounded, making you feel so happy to see him happy. 

Maybe you were more than buzzed. 

“I'm glad that it's seventy five percent me, twenty five percent whiskey?” Curtis ventured a guess, catching your chin in his forefinger and thumb to tilt your mouth back to his. 

“More than that, like ninety-ten.” You mumbled against his lips, the two of you teasing each other with soft playful pecks. “But i'm definitely drunk now.” 

“Mmh, I can tell Honey.” His answer was softer now, sighing against your lips. “I love you for giving me these moments in life.” His touch lingered on your face, cupping your cheek and this kiss was moved from your mouth up to your forehead, giving you a whole other satisfying sensation, one that curled into your heart. His gaze fell back to the computer screen with a soft shit under his breath. “Incoming Honey.” 

Right behind you was a pound on the door. “You two better not be fucking in my office!” 

You squealed, hiding against Curtis as if Paulie was gonna come barging in, which he wasn’t, he knew better. “Busted.” You loudly whispered while Curtis muffled his laughter once again. 

“Give us five minutes…. TEN!” Curtis shouted, watching the camera to see Paulie storming back towards the bar, sputtering. 

“I need to bake him some cookies to apologize.” You said solemnly as you too watched the camera’s with a twist of your head looking over your shoulder. 

“You do that Honey so I can taste test them.” He gripped your chin to turn you back to look at him. “Kiss me Honey? I’m-”

You didn’t let him finish, your lips pressing to his, cutting off the last of his words.

[samstclair]

Tony Soprano's Goomah

Tony Soprano X Reader

Anonymous Request -

Hiya Saint Samuel!!!!! So listen to this, I've just started Sopranos, you know, the HBO show? Anyway I've come to the conclusion that Tony is exactly my type. He's brought out an inherent and animalistic part of me I never realized was there in the first place. Like, a strong attraction to alpha men. I'm not that far in the show, but I love the idea of him taking me to dinner at Vesuvio's, you know, Artie's restaurant? I love that he supports his friend's small business when he's not busy blowing it up! So could you come up with an imagine about the date? Let me know!! Thank you!!!!

P.S. - I love your work but please keep this one short! It's gotta be a quickie before bed!

Word Count: not that long tbh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's so gloomy out," you said, face souring as you looked out the window of your apartment. "It's always gloomy." 

"Um, where the fuck do you think we're at? It's New Jersey," your friend, Snooki, said. "That's why I only like the shore. It's different out there."

You smiled. Her thick Jersey accent always threw you off but it felt so warming. You forgot people actually talked like that. She'd come to visit you from the Shore to help you get ready for your little date. She was filming a season of her TV show, which you didn't completely understand, but nonetheless you were supportive cause you always supported your girls. That's just how being a girlie works. 

"So who's this guy anyway?" Snooki asked as she began to flat iron your hair, clouds of thick smoke rising from it as it fried your shit straight. "You're so like, secretive about him. You never ended up telling me."

You blushed, living for the idea of this little forbidden-esque romance you and Tony had. 

"I didn't tell you because I'd only just met you, I had to make sure you were a girl's girl first, you know?"

"And when was that?"

"When I found out you were down to help hide me go into hiding from the stupid ugly IRS men-in-black people, THAT'S when I knew."

She smiled to herself, she DID that. 

"Anyway, and I couldn't tell you over the phone cause you were on that stupid duck phone. I didn't want the show to be recording my business, silly," you said, "plus, those guy friends you have there are creeps. I don't want them knowing my business, either."

You shuddered at the thought of those overly-tan, Ed Hardy cologne smelling boys. You didn't trust them in the slightest. After one of them called you a grenade because they caught a glimpse a single stretch mark, you knew DAMN well they had never been connected to any basis of reality and therefore not REAL.

Except Paulie, you didn't really mind him, if you catch my drift if you catch the flow! ;). He was lowkey a girl's girl.

"So tell me now! I'm so over waiting!" she whined. She really was over it. You loved holding back information some times just to create a little suspense. A little of that never hurt no one never hurt a FLY.

"Well, what do you wanna know?" you smirked to yourself. 

"Is he Italian?"

"Oh, def."

"Is he tan?"

"Oh, no."

She suddenly stopped the ironing and gave you an annoyed look in the mirror. You knew that was a no-no in Snicker's book. "Then why are you wasting your time?"

"Because he's just hot, like, I don't know how to explain it," you really didn't. When you first met, you just found it odd how insanely attracted you were to him. You just were. It made you feel like a middle-aged mom. But who cares? EXACTLY! "He's low-key, rich, high-key. He works in like, garbage disposal or some shit."

"That's what they say when they're in the mafia." Snooki said, continuing to iron your hair. 

"I did my fair amount of business with Italians back in England, I know what the mafia looks like." Of that, you did. But that was your old life, you were supposed moving on. The Queen is dead, after all. Don't push! 

You wish you could tell your girlfriend more, but you had to remind yourself that you were under a different identity - as you mentioned before, the IRS are actually a bunch of Debbie downers and negative Nancies who wanna see you, just a girl, down. They hated seeing you, just a girl, succeed, and that's not cool or cute. They ran you out of the country once, but not again. You were a full, beer-blooded American and that's that. (if ur reading this and not American just pretend you are! Who wouldn't want to?!)

You met Tony through the Italian connections you had in England, and once you knew you had to escape back to America, they were the only allies you knew that could help smuggle you in like the cocaine in little baggies shoved up the asscracks of a flight attendee. If it weren't for that, New Jersey would have definitely NOT been the first place you had in mind to arrive in. 

Once the Italians brought you through, they directed you to this deli place called Satriale's after you moaned and groaned about your tummy rumbling. You kept joking that you were a different person when you were hungry, what you dubbed as the "hungry monster", over and over. Safe to say, the Italians soon grew increasingly uncomfortable with that and your other incoherent ramblings about food and decided you needed some gabagool. 

Let's just say - you went to absolute fucking town on those slices of meat and cheese. All those thoughts about becoming a vegetarian? Yeah, out the window they WENT. 

You assumed that none of those Italian-Americans knew that a girl could fucking eat, because they looked at you with both horror and confusion. Also, a little concernment. You also learned the complete difference between Italian and Italian-American, as if that horrendous atrocity that is your bff Snooki's Jersey Shore season 4 wasn't enough to learn from.

As you were munching away on what you were sure was only your third slice of 'salam' (salami), (it was actually your eleventh), the door swung open along with the little bell atop ringing. That wasn't what broke you out of your trance, no, no it would take a LOT for that to happen in the state you were in, but it was who....

"Hey, sweetheart, save some for the rest of us, huh?" He giggled, his other goons giggling behind him.

You looked up. You hated being spoken at while eating. It was really a trigger.

But there he was. Tony.

Tall, big, low-key balding, leather jacket and Goodwill's men section polo with some khaki pants, cigar in hand, under-sized gold rings and necklaces bulging, and a whiff of men's cologne (probably an Italian designer's).

You were stumped. Stunned. Stupefied.

So were they. They watched you, waiting for some sort of response whether it was verbal or physical. Instead, they were given your mega disassociation-state, blank expression, mouth full with a slice of meat in one hand and a slice of cheese in the other.

The entire deli went silent - it was literally as if there was a cowboy standoff going on like some Western film shit. A Spaghetti western here, perhaps?

"Fuck's wrong with her?" one of his minions asked. You later found out this was his wannabe Aaron Sorkin nephew Christopha.

"Hey, Ton', I think you broke the poor broad!" the other said, who had crazy white streaks of hair. This was his other minion, Paulie who giggled with the possible case of Tourette's syndrome.

"Ayyeeee, sweethaarrttt," the other said with a grumpy face and crazy hairline, (Silvio), "what's tha matta?"

You didn't know what the matter was. And honestly, neither did Tony.

All you two knew, is that you were both locked IN. What you didn't know at the time, was that he realized he had landed his eyes on one of the most beautiful, fine ass women he'd ever seen. And man was down BAD! Of course he was, girl, LOOK AT YOU!

(For realsies all respect to Carmela she did not deserve any of Tony's caca!)

"Who the fuck is this?" he finally asked, somewhat angrily. He wasn't angry, just taken aback someone had defied him as much as you did in that moment from that face off. And that's just the regular tone of how a lot of these people talked, which you ALSO later learned.

"I'm me," you said back.

The three minions behind him all raised their brows in shock. They couldn't conceive a girlie, like you, could sass just as hard back. That response ALWAYS worked.

And that was that. You two were history <3. 

You then met Snooki at a bar later that same night and she let you stay at the Jersey Shore house for a bit until Tony gave you enough money to get your own spot. And now, here you two were. Some full circle shit. 

So yeah back to your apartment WE'RE BACK AT THE APARTMENT!!

You were in the midst of a rant to Snooki about beefing with your hairstylist, the same lady who bleached your hair and unknowingly participated as an accessory to concealing your real identity from authorities. 

"...and so I was like, I want a bleach and tone, like can you do a bleach and tone for me please, like smiley face emoji and she was like tone? (question mark) and I was like, a bleach and tone, like, a bleach and tone, like a bleach and tone, like what do you mean tone, like? Like after you bleach it, can you tone it, like make it not brassy, and she was like 'oh oh I understand' and put, like, the blonde princess emoji and I was like, okay I'm glad you understand."

"What a fucking dumbass," Snooki laughed, finishing your hair. "I can just give you the number to my hairdresser, just let me know."

You heavily considered. A couple chunky stripe black highlights here and there? Some reverse raccoon shit? SHIT!!!

As she wrapped up, you admired yourself in the mirror. Your other girlfriend, JWoww, had done your makeup but had to leave early to let out her dogs at her house. She'd done the full Y2K trashy mcbling look - black smokey eye with glitter, heavy on the contour, thin ass brows and a nude lip. You looked like a Pamela Anderson variant and you were fucking it up! 

After taking some grainy ass photos on your hot pink bedazzled camera, Snooki hyping you up some more and pregaming with you before your date, you got a text! 

"I've got a text!" you said like a Love Islander. 

"Oh my god, is it from him?" Snooki asked, drinking the remnants of the Ron-Ron juice she made, the only good thing he's ever been associated with.

"Oh, fuck he's like - he's like here! He's here!" 

You ran towards your window and peeped your head through the blinds - he was indeed here in his red Chevy. A wave of anxiety flushed over you - but you weren't sure why? You were literally his 'goomar' or 'goomah' however you spell it and this definetly wasn't your first time on a date with him. But every time before one, you felt like you needed to shit yourself. He just made you all nervy! Like, that's a MAN RIGHT THERE!

"Oh, fuck Snooki," you said, frightened. "I think I need to go."

"You're kidding. You don't have time! You said he made a reservation, right?"

"Oh, I don't know. He just walks into anywhere and he automatically has a reservation for that exact time. You really think I can't go?"

"I mean, how fast can you go?"

You ended up going. And you were fast.

It was a quickie, definitely not ALL that needed to come out, but it was something for now. You knew your body too well. As you hit that flush lever thingie, you saw all your anxiety go down with it. You were ready, renewed, and refreshed. THOSE are the real three R's for saving the planet. You also smoked the last bit if your blunt, a 'roach' if you will, to see if that could calm your nerves. Spoiler - it didn't. Girl there was less than an inch left the fuck did you think that would do.

As Snooki was closing the front door, she yelled somewhat drunkenly "YOU'RE FUCKING HOT!" It definitely gave you a little pep in your step, to say the very least. Your heels clicked and clicked down that staircase, you felt like Rose in Titanic to Jack in that one scene.

Tony exited the car, admiring his view. Snooki was very right. You were eating it UP LIKE THAT BITCH!!

You had a slip on sequin dress, not too clubby but not too dressy, low-key classy and a little not too shabby? Your hair was all done up and your hoops dangled from your ears. You smelled of some sweet Nicki Minaj's body spray from TJ Maxx.

A cloud of cologne (a good cologne, one that you secretly stole for him also from TJ Maxx) hit you as you and Tony embraced. Even with your heels, he still stood over you like a fucking wall. You got why the gays love their bears. 

"How do I look, Tony?" you asked. You knew your answer you just fucked with compliments. 

"You look beautiful, hun. Like an old Hollywood actress. Let's get goin'." He opened the passenger's seat door for you like the gentleman he was and closed it behind you. Once he was in the driver's seat, you two were off. 

It was now Christmas time - so the aesthetic was KICKING! Lights were all around on people's houses and trees, the air was cool and there was a little snowfall. It felt like some cozy 2000's digital photos you find under looking up 'nostalgic' on Pinterest. The car's heater was on full and the warmth felt good against your ass. You thought about fucking up a sauna and how you'd love one of those. Maybe a future date with Tony?

You lowered the sun visor to check yourself in the mirror. These false lashes were CRAZY. You only trusted JWoww or Snooki to put them on. 

"You smell that?" Tony asked, sniffing the air.

"No," you said. You only smelled the his strong cologne and Nicki.

"You smell like weed," he said. 

You did forget about the 'roach' and plants you were growing on your balcony to make some extra cash. But then, you thought, this could be the perfect lay-up right now. If it worked on Megan Fox, maybe it would work on Tony? If it didn't, you'd honestly Lady Bird yourself out of his car from the embarrassment.

"I am weed," you said, trying to sound femme fatale, biting your tongue like a mom. 

He didn't get it. 

"What did you say?"

You weren't high enough for this.

"Man, never mind," you said. "Where we going, anyway? You said you were take me to eat some real food. Cause apparently McDonald's isn't."

"Oh please, you're gonna start with that shit again?" Tony said. One thing with Tony, and all these mafiosos, they have more insecurity than a thirteen-year-old middle school girl. You've had to learn how to dodge Tony's whiny moments. 

"So where?" you asked again, back to the topic. 

"Italian."

"Oh, like Olive Garden?"

He stopped at a light and faced you, with a look of pure disgust.

You saw him in the corner of your eye, trying not to smile. You loved fucking with him. It was like fucking with a toddler.

"The fuck did you say?" 

And there it was. 

Tony then began to rant about what true Italian dining and food was, as he always loved to flex in his whiny self about how there's no other shame of an establishment other than Olive Garden to bring embarrassment to Italian cuisine. You disassociated for much of it after, watching the lit-up suburbs as you drove by.

"....and that's why Vesuvio's puts back the honor in the Italian name. End of story!"

"That's crazy," you said, one of your many safe automatic responses to have after your disassociation trips. 

Anyway, you two had finally made it to the restaurant, as Tony mentioned before, called Vesuvio's. It was owned by a close friend of his, which made you all happy as it was refreshing to see Tony support small businesses. It was the late evening, so the sun had already set and the ambience was hitting. 

Before you entered the restaurant, Tony said he had a surprise for you and took out from the back of his car a quite large box.

"What is this?"

"Go ahead," he smiled slyly, "open it up."

You felt like a child needing to rip the bitch open, but you stopped yourself - you liked playing hard to get so you knew you had to act indifferent. You instead opened it slowly, as if it was just an ordinary box but no it WASN'T!

"No. Fucking. Way," you were in disbelief. "Tony - a FUCKING VINTAGE HOT PINK JUICY TRACKSUIT?! THESE ARE LIKE, $100 ON DEPOP?!?!?!?!"

He was fucking up your reaction. He must've really listened to when you indulged in him your airport troubles and losing your suitcase, as well as your vintage Juicy Couture tracksuit. This got you all hot and shit down there to know he cared like that. Again, this is a MAN. He makes ugly dudes like Tate tater tot look like a little bitch and that's that.

"You like it?" he asked as you yanked that shit out and were admiring it. "Here, let me help," he put the box down and helped put the top jacket part on.

You were too shock to speak. Non-verbal, if you would.

"Tony, no bro it's that I can't - "

His little dumbass smile made it all the better. You hated that he knew he ate with this.

The fresh smell of baked bread and pasta was making your toes curl violently. You loved being a fat ass. Once inside, Tony greeted like half the staff because that's what these men do, but you were just bouncing your eyes from table to table at all the dishes. Shit was about to HIT! You purposely didn't eat all day so you could have room for what tonight was to come. But, with that, the Ron-Ron juice was now in full effect. Uh oh oh no.

No, no - you couldn't. Had you not learned before in England? You cannot embarrass Tony, no, not in front of all these people. Tony was like a pillar in this little suburban community, you needed to make him look good!

But then, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror - you DO look good! 

And then it hit you - you're just a girl who likes to dress up and eat good. The last thing you were gonna do was hide who you truly were! High key who gives a fuck about Tony? You do but you get what I mean.

A very pretty, blonde hostess came to you guys and led you to your table. Tony said hi, gave her the usual besitos, and introduced you two. 

"Y/N, this is Adriana. You know, Christopha's girlfriend?"

"Oh my god yes! I remember!" you brought her in for a hug and your own besitos. She smelled great. It made you so happy to see another girl do her thing! "You look so good, bro! And your nails!"

"Oh, my god thank you!" she said, modestly. "You're so pretty!"

Tony smiled, happy to see two girls do their thing. Men will never understand.

You two sat a little more secluded towards the back. He had introduced you to Artie, the best friend and owner of the restaurant.

About an hour in, the vibes were HITTING! You were on your third slice of bread, dipping it in the olive oil and vinegar (though you preferred butter, but you weren't just about to say that in front of all these Italians, LITERALLY when in Rome like??), laughing as Tony was making his shitty dad jokes, light Frank Sinatra and 'like a big pizza pie in the sky' in the background, the chatter of other customers who were also vibing, and, like you, looking forward to absolutely demolishing the dishes. 

What those dishes were, you wouldn't know. The moment you sat, Artie pulled up and took your menus, saying he would make y'all something exclusive from the menu. Like THAT? Like that. You felt like it was 2017 all over again and you just found out about the secret Pink Drink that wasn't on the Starbucks menu. Exclusive! 

As Tony was rambling on about his new horse, you were just thinking about how insanely attractive he was. Again, this ain't no boy - no, this is a MAN. This is a man who gets shit done, whenever and wherever. You always thought yourself to be pretty humble and not consider power a trait to find attractive, but you just realized you were lying to yourself this whole time, cause Tony proved it was. Is it shallow? Oops. Who gives a fuck be real. That and giving you money every time he saw you was definitely a plus! He was just too smooth with shit.

And let's be real again, it was a little bit of a power trip for you too. Like, you're TONY'S girl. You know what that's more powerful than? Exactly. Anyone other than Tony's girl.

"What's your horse's name?" you asked.

"Pie-O-My."

"That's such a cute name!"

Dumbass name, you thought. But in all honesty you would've named a horse like Pickle or some shit so.

"Do you like horses? I should take you ta see her sometime."

You weren't a horse girl, even though you did have a small phase in middle school. "How could you not? They're so, like, otherworldly. Back in Colombia, my old boss used to have a zoo, and there were a bunch of horses there too."

"When were you in Colombia?"

You froze - you forgot. You're not Y/N, you're Y/N! You're supposed to be under a false identity! You can't just be revealing your past, Colombia was not supposed to be talked about! Have England Colombia not taught you anything?

"A long, long, long, long time ago. Long time. Looooong time," you said, smiling sheepishly and taking a nervous sip of your wine. This topic needed to be SKIPPED.

"For business?"

And then you forgot. Tony literally knows you're a fugitive. You are safe <3

You went on to expand about your brief but not-so-brief, actually extensive, time in Colombia, working for Pablo and committing heists with your girls. It seemed like another lifetime ago, but recounting it brought you such nostalgia, it made you happy to reminisce. Tony was eating it up too, he fucked with the fact that you weren't just no ordinary girl, no, you were a girl with a past. Dare I say, not like other girls at that. A criminal one, at that. To these macho mafiosos, seeing a girl do more than being a housewife is considered very exotic. 

"One time, in Colombia, I almost set off one of Pablo's bombas by accident," you giggled to yourself. Shit was crazy. "It was supposed to be a hit on someone and I opened the wrong door to the wrong car lol. Thank god it malfunctioned and didn't detonate, but ever since then my close experience with death has just taught me to live, laugh and love more, you know? He was reaalllyyy pissed at me, for like a minute. Then he got over it, cause like, it's never that serious, you know?"

You dug into your pasta, which had just been brought out. It was Alfredo, your favorite. You weren't sure how Alfredo was an exclusive dish, but whatevs. You felt the warmness go down through your intestines - deletable. You felt Mark Weins possessing your spirit.

Tony was in awe of your stories. 

"Wait, wait, Pablo's what?"

"Bombas. You know."

He still didn't comprehend. Ugh boys.

"Bomb bass?" you repeated.

"Boss Baby? Like that cartoon scientist prick?"

You'd never seen Boss Baby, but was pretty sure he wasn't a scientist. Just a baby in STEM. "No, Tony, bom-bas."

"Baz Luhrmann?"

"Oh my god, no, but I miss that summer," you said, thinking about that curse of a movie. "All that our love surviveeeesssss. So good. So good." 

You continued eating your pasta, imagining Jacob Elordi's face instead of Austin Butler. It helped with the nightmares.

"Wait, you mean bombs?" he whispered. 

"Yes, that!" you covered your mouth with your hand, still chomping away, "Sorry, all that time in Colombia I forgot English words. I should redownload Duolingo again."

"You can't say that around here. Not around Artie."

"Why not?"

"He's sensitive to subjects like that. Gets him all nervous." Tony then went on to basically play with his food by making his fork dance in and out of it, never actually accumulating more pasta. This was his fidgeting.

"You garbage disposal guys love to pretend you're all hard and shit."

He stopped. Again, he's offended. "What did you say?"

"Like, you pretend you're all hard, and shit, but then you're not. Okay, like, okay - Paulie doesn't like me cause I made a joke. A little joke and he got all butthurt."

"Yeah, cause you said that if he eats more than 12 grapes on New Years, he's cursed."

"Yeah, so what? His fat ass ate the entire bag. I had to make him feel bad for that. Reparations, honestly."

"You know Paulie, he's superstitious. And you weren't helping when you asked his zodiac sign or whatever bullshit."

"And what about Silvio, huh? So what if I've never seen the Godfather? How else is a normal person supposed to react if you just randomly say 'once I'm out they pull me back in'? Like, what? Back into what? I was being nice pretending I knew what he was talking about the first couple of times. I can only fake it til I make it so much."

Tony was growing more impatient. 

"And Christopher? Sorry if I didn't know that an Elf Bar would break his sobriety. I just thought he'd love to invest -"

"Listen, sweetheart, I gotta be honest with ya. My friends, they're not perfect, but they're my family. Let's not forget about the sanctity of loyalty and respect. So let's put this aside and enjoy each other's company, huh -"

"How's the food, huh?" Artie asked, suddenly appearing like an Gusteau's ghost. 

"It's great, Artie," Tony said, somewhat dismissively.

"Artie, you ATE this shit up! I'm gonna be sleeping sooooo good tonight!" you smiled. He smiled that you smiled. 

"Well thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Let me know if you need anything else, okay?" Artie then walked off, leaving you two to yourselves. He quickly turned around and came back. "Be sure to call if you feel you have food poisoning, though."

"Wait, what?" you asked, mimicking Trisha Paytas.

"Cause if you do have it, it's not my food," he chuckled. "Right, Ton'?"

With that ominous comment/inside joke that you really had no idea what he was talking about, he walked away laughing. Tony wasn't. He, underneath it all was fuming but holding it in. He didn't like to raise his voice in front of you, because he knew you would hit lengths that exceeded his. One of your favorite activities was to make guys feel stupid, and you were too good at that and he knew. Honestly, he was kinda scared of the power you held, like one of Pablo's bombas. 

You just shrugged it off and continued eating up your pasta. 

It was quiet. It wasn't an awkward quiet, just a 'who's gonna talk first to get us past this quiet' sort of quiet. You didn't care, you were being wined and dined for free. 

You then thought about how you could enhance the dish, like a wizard adding potions and his creation. You pointed to the parmesan. 

"What?" Tony asked, oblivious, munching. 

"Cheese, hellur?"

"The fuck is 'hellur'?'

You swallowed the food that prevented you from saying 'hello' correctly. 

"Like, hello. So, cheese, hello?"

"Why not say hello?"

"Tony, I don't make fun of you when you say things in Italian," you shot back. He couldn't know food delayed your speech. "Don't make fun of my language, xenophobia doesn't look good on you."

He passed the parm, again in awe. "You know, of all the women I've been with, you're the weirdest fucking one," he laughed to himself. 

"Awe, Tony, you're so sweet." You smiled. The bad quiet vibes had gone away and the good vibes had returned. So what if there was a boulder on the path? You walk AROUND it!

Fast forward to dessert. Artie brought you some cannolis because we're in an Italian restaurant remember. 

Tony was in the middle of being pretty vulnerable with you. You loved that type of shit, when a man opens up. It's like seeing them fully evolve to becoming a normal person and you were front row.

"The things I do, you know. It's to get food on the table for my kids. But they, they don't understand. Meadow does, she's still young, but AJ? I don't know about the poor kid. Stays in his room all day, on that fucking computer, listens to that metal bullshit -"

"He's just going through his emo era. We all have it, don't worry. Some worse than others. And, he's a boy. They all enjoy a little Reddit from time to time. But just cause you're a criminal, Tony, doesn't make you a villain. The IRS just love to hate, trust me, I know."

He appreciated that you cared. "Therapy helps too, or whatever."

"Awe, that's great Tony!"

"But don't tell anyone, or I'll get whacked."

"By who?"

"You know. My associates."

"That's nice that you play games with your associates. It should be more than just business, you know. Like, there should be room for some bonding time and exercises."

"What are you talking about?"

"Like, Whack-a-Mole. Isn't that what you were talking about?"

Tony laughed. You thought he got it, but he was just still confused and was actually laughing at the shit you just say. 

After the check (there was no check cause it's Tony Soprano), you two stopped by at Wawa to get some SpongeBob popsicles, cause those cannolis didn't hit that 'sumthin sweet' feeling. The flavor you got wasn't as good as his, despite being the same thing, so at every free opportunity when he wasn't looking you scooped a little of his. He started to notice as his popsicle shrunk and shrunk, getting hot at what you were doing. You didn't mind, you liked it sometimes when he got mad cause you thought it was funny you got to him like that. He got over it eventually, realizing that it's never THAT serious. 

Some time later you were back at his place, what your girls would call an 'open crib'. It was just you two, and as Nicki once said, the night was still young. The possibilities? Yeah, they're endless. You had to admit, you were getting impatient. You needed something and that something was NOW.

By the pool, you two were making out. Shit was getting heavy and the night was getting pretty fucking chilly. A little too chilly, like the Juicy tracksuit was cute asf, but let's be real not helping in the slightest. But you weren't just about to have that interrupt you. What's a little cold? People literally live in like, Russian tundra.

Still making out, you felt small droplets of water hit you. 

You broke from the kiss and said, quite sensually but not exactly meaning to, "I'm wet."

Tony chuckled with his goofy, excited smile. "Tell me more -"

He brought you back in for another kiss.  

You felt more of those droplets hit you. You broke your kiss off again.

"No, I'm actually wet."

As if on cue, the rain began to pour pretty hard, increasingly violent. He grabbed your arm and pulled you to go inside. You two laughed as you were drenched, trying to escape the heavy downpour on some rom-com bullshit. 

You slid your heels off and ran, you ran and ran. One thing you knew how to do - you knew how to ran. Your feet hit those puddles of water with such velocity, Tony could no longer catch up to you and lagged behind. Your hands let go - you couldn't wait for him. Once you were in this state, there was no breaking out of it. He was amazed at your abilities. You couldn't risk your makeup running. That's a big no-no, no?

Once inside, he brought you two towels and began drying you off. You caught a quick glimpse of your make up in the mirror, and needless to say, you needed JWoww to drop you that link of the setting spray she used cause shit was STUCK. Immovable.

"Thanks for the towel, Tony." you said. He winked at you, pulled his soaked shirt off and tossed it on the kitchen counter, then pulled out a jug of orange juice from the fridge, downing that bitch. Your eyes trailed from his body hair, down to his chest, to his belly, then his happy trail down to - oh. Oh there it is. 

"Peter, the horse is here." you said. That bulge was bulging. 

Tony clocked his head to you. 

You thought you said it in your head, but you actually said it loud and clear.

"Who the fuck is Peta?" he interrogated, getting scared into thinking someone else was in the house, or that maybe 'Peter' was someone you were seeing...

"My god Tony you're such a fucking boomer."

"Is Peter your boyfriend -"

"- oh SHUT UP TONY!" you said, before pouncing on top of him. You hugged him, and he hugs tightly back, he then throws you on the dining table and you feel his member pressed against your leg. He begins kissing you, his tongue licking your lips for entrance. You let him in. Your tongues fight for dominance but you let him win. He eventually starts going down on you, taking your sequin dress off, and starts kissing your labia.

"This...this is a labia," he says. "End of story!"

You lift your legs as he begins to eat you out, his wet breath on your cooter. He holds your foot up and raises himself, ready to press his member into your entrance. Your eyes are closed, ready to take the man from North Caldwell, New Jersey in. This is it. No Peta, no duck phone, no garbage disposal, nothing - just you and Tony.

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Also, a heads up!  A friendly warning - DON'T tell me how long to make story. That is up to me, myself and I. Anyway this one's shorter so whatevs. 

xoxo, 

~ Sam St. Clair

[mdemn]

I suddenly remembered this one part where Sarah was giving food to this one lady and she said "It's enough - Nonna thinks you're an angel" AND I CANT PUT MY FINGER AROUND IT BUT THAT PART JUST ITCHES MY BRAIN IN A WAY I CANT EXPLAIN KNOWING THAT SARAH MOTHERS IS SOMEWHAT BAD?? ( I'm so sorry for bothering you I'm kinda sleepy rn 😭😭 )

I LIKE THAT PART TOO BUT FOR A DIFFERENT REASON !! i like that part because it shows sarah does community outreach in sort of the same way that sam & paulie do when they’re making business “pay for protection” !!!!!

when frank says “they need to look at you and see saint michael” what he really means is ‘you two need to act more like sarah’

it shows that sarah is a part of the family and a representative of don salieri and making him seem like a Good Guy and Blessing to the neighborhood. it shows that sarah is more intertwined with the mafia than she lets on to tommy— more than he could’ve ever imagined. truly, at that point in the game, tommy didn’t know a THING about sarah.

and maybe.. does he really ever? 🤭

[everlasting-rainfall]

Hello, everyone! My name is Everlasting_Rainfall but you can call me Everlast or Rainfall as it’s shorter. Hell, you can really call me whatever you’d like as long as it isn’t an insult

I’m a Demi-Girl meaning my pronouns are They/Them and She/Her and I’m bisexual as well! English is my first language but I’m not very good at it in all honesty

I’d like to personally welcome you all to my blog, I hope that you enjoy your stay and find the stuff that I write to be enjoyable!

I’m going to go over my rules in a minute but first

If you’re looking for my Masterlist then it’s right here for ya!

Just remember to not look at it if you’re a minor! I DO NOT WANT ANY MINORS ON THIS BLOG!! IF YOU ARE ONE THEN LEAVE!!

Also I have a Discord server! If you would like to join then send me a DM here on Tumblr and I’ll send you a link!

I would post the link to join here but something about that doesn’t quite feel like the best idea so I’m not gonna

So just send me a message here on Tumblr and I’ll send ya a link! Sound good? Good! But remember… NO MINORS

Now then… I’ll get into the rules starting with things that I won’t write for as I’m personally uncomfortable with it

Scat

Anal

Water Sports

Incest

Homophobia

Transphobia

Necrophilia

Racism

Anything where an Adult dates someone who is Underage

Yandere Kills their S/O

Erotic Gore

Okay, there are also a few characters that I won’t write for as well like I’ll write for just about anyone but not these characters…

“Saint” Charlos

”Saint” Shalria

”Saint” Rosward

Foxy

Skunk One

Boo Jack

Trebol

Any Underage Character

Beyond that, I’ll probably write for just about anybody unless you can manage to remind me of someone who makes me uncomfortable or I personally just don’t like

In which case, I shall add them to this list so check back every once in a while just to see if anything’s updated

Oh yeah! Also I figured that I might as well put down some things that I like writing about as well!

Non-Romantic Yandere’s (Platonic or Familial)

Toonification

Breeding

Housewifeification

Hypnosis

Being Pulled from One World to Another

Fictional Characters Appearing in the Real World

Cinderella Esque Scenarios

Transformation

Amnesia

Somnophilia

Humans Are Replaced as The Dominant Species of Earth by Something Else Scenarios

And as for characters that I enjoy writing? I honestly enjoy writing somewhat obscure ones in all honesty like not so obscure like that guy who got shook down in the Rainbow Mist arc for a liquor drinking tax or that guy behind Paulie when he saw the sea train as a kid

I mean characters like El Drago from the First One Piece Movie, Commander Jonathan from G8, Kamakiri from Skypiea, and etc

Plus I also like writing for that don’t have a lot of information about them like mostly recent ones like (And Skip This if You Aren’t Caught Up). Imu, Joyboy, Figarland Garling, Nika.

Something about it is just so much fun like I think it be because it’s less stressful and there’s less things to worry about if I’m doing something wrong by saying that “Sanji Poisons your Date” or “Luffy Watches You Bathe”

But regardless, I find it fun!

Okay, I think that covers everything! I hope that you all enjoy my blog and remember!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AT ALL

[illiana-mystery]

Here it is! The genderbent Paul Smecker fanfic I mentioned a little while ago. I must admit that I recently rewatched the movie and I fell in love with Smecker's female disguise all over again. 😅 So that's where this fic came from. Read the summary to this fic below: 

After a rough breakup and another moment of self-realization after moving out of her parents house, Dosie (reader) finds herself ready for another relationship. Knowing this, Dosie's best friend sets her up on a blind date with a slightly older NYPD police officer, Paulie. After hitting it off, both Dosie and Paulie realize that not only do they have a lot in common, but they're both working through growing post their breakups. Will their relationship stand despite this or will their past pain and Dosie's unapproving family break them apart?

Author's Note: This is a fluff/smut WLW fic between genderbent Smecker and plus-size cis female reader. It's gonna be a pretty wholesome lesbian love story, because we need more of that. We really do. 😁😊

Taglist: @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky​, @doodleborg, @braindead94, @lost-in-the-forest-again​

Let me know if you want to be added to this taglist for updates. 😉

[libras-interactives]

Hi ! Just thought about something! What are the religious beliefs of the UtDM's characters ? (Your ocs specifically) You mentioned Flynn was atheist, I believe ? I just find those kind of information really interesting when you consider the time period !

Have a nice day !

Ooooh interesting question! Cut because this is long.

Marius and Eveline were raised Catholic. She still attends Mass and believes to ... some extent, though it's painful when she'd had so much tragedy and she feels God has allowed it to happen. It's more comforting rituals to her, and a familiar place to have peace and quiet in. Marius would say he believes in God, but does little in the way of prayer or action.

Jack was raised in a very puritannical, isolated and fundamentalist Christian sect. He's still very afraid of God and damnation and Satan, and wants to not believe to relieve himself of that fear, but ...

Flynn was raised very strict Catholic, and he was always defiant and iffy on the whole thing - WW1 sent him firmly into "God is dead and/or never existed, and if He's alive, he doesn't care about us" territory. Generally he believes organized religion is an excellent scam.

Lottie's family was Catholic, though didn't attend church often and as far as she remembers, weren't terribly devout. When they died, she became bitter and resented God. As an adult, she's mostly recovered from that, but still jokingly calls herself a bad Catholic and doesn't really identify as one.

Máire was raised Catholic ... ish? Her grandmother and mother were... eccentric about it, to say the least. Their true beliefs were much closer to the late 1800s spiritualist movement, with a weird mix of Saint reverence and old Irish folk medicine and teachings. Máire dislikes explaining herself to others, and Catholicism is deeply tied to her culture, so she allows others to assume and refer to her as Catholic.

Malwina was raised Catholic and still believes in God. She tries to attend Mass, but lately it's brought more guilt and shame than it's worth. She prays on her rosary when she feels disheartened, but moreso because it reminds her of her mama and sisters.

Polly/Paulie grew up Methodist, and isn't particuarly religious or interested, but the church still holds fond memories. He's especially sentimental during Christmastime, and will attend those services. She only prays if she's truly in distress.

Slyvester was raised Lutheran, though his parents were fairly open-minded for the time. His wife is Catholic, and he married into/converted to the Catholic Church for her sake. They don't attend Mass except for holidays, and only pray with family or before meals.

Krooks grew up Jewish, and tries not to think about what his family and God would think about his current situation. He still observes dietary restrictions and holidays out of tradition and missing his family. Ezra was raised in a fiercely Southern Baptist home, which put him off religion for a long time. A few times he's gone to Krooks' synagogue and found it comforting. Roxie is quite blunt about her disbelief in God, and claims she never stepped foot in a church, nor will she ever. She grew up in rural Utah, had four mothers and narrowly avoided a marriage with a much older man. She does NOT like talking about religion.

[nikkistclaire]

Pauly just like me fr.

[x-heesy]

𝚄𝚞𝚞𝚑 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚊𝚊𝚊𝚑 🪩

𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝝝𝗨 𝗖𝝝𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖 💃🏽 🕺🏼

𝝠 𝗧𝗥𝝠𝗖𝗞 𝝠 𝗗𝝠𝗬 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝝠 𝗗𝝝𝗖𝗧𝝝𝗥 𝝠𝗪𝝠𝗬

𝗜 𝝠𝗠 𝝠 𝗗𝝠𝗡𝗖𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝝠𝗡𝗗𝗪𝗜𝗖𝗛 🎧💃🏽🕺🏼🪩🚀💥

𝗚𝝝𝝝𝗦𝗘𝗕𝗨𝗠𝗣𝗦 / 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝝠𝗧𝗜𝝝𝗡𝝠𝗟 𝗕𝗘𝝠𝗧𝗦 /𝗜𝗡𝗧𝝝𝗠𝗬𝗦𝝝𝗨𝗟 / 𝗘𝝠𝗥𝗚𝝠𝗦𝗠 / 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗭𝗭 𝗜𝗭 𝝠 𝗚𝗜𝗙 𝝠𝗧𝗧𝝠𝗖𝗞 / 𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗗𝗥𝗨𝗚𝗦𝝠𝗡𝗗𝗦𝝝𝗖𝗞𝗦𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗛𝝝𝗟𝗘𝗦 / 𝗣𝗨𝗡𝗞𝗦𝝠𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗗𝗘𝝠𝗗 / 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗬 𝝠𝗦𝗦 / 𝗚 𝝝 𝗗 𝗜 𝗦 𝝠 𝗗 𝗝 / ΓЯДCҜФFΓHΞDДУ / 𝗗𝗘𝗘𝗣𝗗𝝠𝗥𝗞𝝠𝗡𝗗𝗗𝝠𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥𝝝𝗨𝗦 / 𝗣𝗛𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗜𝗧 𝟰 𝗣𝗛𝗨𝗡 / 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝝝𝗨𝗧𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗪𝝝𝗨𝗟𝗗𝗕𝗘𝝠𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗧𝝠𝗞𝗘 / 𝗪𝝝𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗜 𝗖𝝝𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗖𝗥𝗬 / 𝗪𝗘𝗜𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝝠 𝗖𝝝𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧 / 𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗡 𝗧𝗪𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗 🎧 / 𝗟𝝝𝗦𝗧 𝗜𝗡 𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝝝 / 𝗧𝗛𝝠𝗡𝗞𝗦 𝗟𝝝𝗥𝗗 𝟰 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞 / 𝗜𝗠𝗙𝗥𝗘𝝠𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝝝𝗨𝗧 / 𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗧𝝝𝗗𝝠𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞𝝝𝗨𝗧 / 𝗦𝗨𝗕𝗕𝝠𝗦𝗦𝗠𝝠𝗦𝗦𝝠𝗖𝗥𝗘 / 𝗦𝗛𝝠𝗞𝗘𝗪𝗛𝝠𝗧𝗬𝝠𝗠𝝠𝗠𝝠𝗚𝝠𝗩𝗘𝗬𝝠 /𝗗𝗥𝝝𝗣𝗕𝗘𝝠𝗧𝗦𝗡𝝝𝗧𝗕𝝝𝗠𝗕𝗦 / 𝗥𝝝̈𝗛𝗥𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗖𝗛 / 𝗜’𝗠 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝝝

#panicdynamicpandemic #trackoftheday #gifattack #gifmania #moody #edm #electronicmusic #shakewhatyamamagaveya #raaaaven @shadowanndeath @luna-zylum @cavegirl66 @noramahmood97 @derflaneur @boanerges20 #electroshockboogie #dancemfdance #partymusic #lostinmusic #thankslordfortechno

𝗧𝗥𝝠𝗖𝗞 𝝝𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝝠𝗬: Abbebe - Sainte Vie Remix by Acid Pauli, Sainte Vie