#rip to this unnamed person they are not making it out alive

[zootopiathingz]

OMFG HAHA I LOVE IT😭🙌🏻

Alastor: oh! And if you ever speak disrespectfully about the princess again, I will kill you.

Alastor, laughing: I’m sorry! That sounded like a joke!

Alastor: I will actually fucking kill you.

[nobodywritingao3]

unnamed monster & caretaker au

Tasked with feeding and caring for the king's resident monster, Tommy is constantly overworked and fully expects to die before he's twenty. He has an odd relationship with the beast and makes it a point to keep details about himself private, but it's difficult when the creature is the closest thing in the world he has to a friend.

wordcount: 2.3k 🕸 read it on AO3

CW: - hard vore mention - soft vore mention - mentioned abuse and dehumanization

‼️‼️‼️ Unfinished, unedited one shot. Proceed with caution

@gracideaviolet sent me a writing prompt and this is what i originally wrote for it. i like the concept but i wrote this at a not-good time and when i reread it, i didnt like the quality enough to fix it. if you like this story, let me know cuz that might give me motivation to properly finish this thing. feel free to take the idea but please credit and send it to me cuz i like this story and wanna see what someone else does with it

Tommy finished loading the cart and took a second to breathe.

He heard the beast shifting around in the dark. "Are you doing okay out there, Sunshine?"

Despite his tiredness, the sweet nickname made him smile.

"You know you eat a lot? It's a pain in the ass to load myself."

He meant it as a joke but silence hung in the air a second longer than it should have.

He cleared his throat. "I don't mind it. I'm compensated."

The beast snorted. "Not enough."

Tommy laughed awkwardly and didn't say anything.

He walked over to the control panel and started up the track.

The cart was big enough to fit a barn, and filled to the brim with various livestock, prisoners of war, and whoever else might have found themselves on the king's hit-list. Nothing sent to the monster was alive. It was a point the monster whined about a lot, but Tommy much preferred it that way. It was already disgusting having to spend hours upon hours piling the cart with bloody meat (sometimes human!) by himself, and the day he was handed a living person would be the day he faked his death and fled the kingdom.

He pressed a few buttons, tried not to cut himself on several rusty levers, and the rail obediently started itself up with a few revs and puffs.

The beast hummed contentedly at the noise.

The cart began to run along the track, disappearing from his view and descending into the inky black cave. He heard the gate creak open and he heard it creak close. And then he heard the beast begin to eat.

They weren't nice sounds by any stretch of the imagination - ugly rips and wet squelches of flesh - but Tommy had been at the job for a while and was long used to it. He settled in and waited for the creature to finish its meal.

"So how was your day, Keeper?"

Tommy hummed. "About the same as it always is. My master told me that the king will be coming in soon for a performance review, but I've no idea when that might be."

The beast paused its munching before hesitantly starting again a moment later. "I - why?"

He shrugged, assuming the monster could see him from the dark. "Something about me holding down this job the longest out of anyone before."

"Hm."

"I don't understand why that would intrigue the king. And no offense to you personally - "

"Uh huh," the monster sarcastically interjected -

" - but this isn't exactly the career path I'd have chosen. If I knew how to transfer I probably would have. Honestly - I have no idea how the others could have quit this job. I was under the impression that this is the sort of thing you do until you die."

It laughed at that.

Tommy sighed.

He was quiet for a few moments, a question sitting heavy on his tongue.

He shouldn't ask. It's impolite.

The monster shifted around. "Spit it out."

He gave the darkness an accusatory look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

There was a huff of laughter. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're doing that thing where you want to say something but are worried about what I'll think. It would be adorable if I wasn't desperate for decent conversation."

"Fuck you." He said it with a smile.

"Well? Are you going to say or not?"

He scrubbed at his face. Fuck it. "What were your other keepers like?"

The beast went silent for several long moments.

Shit. "You don't have to answer if you - "

"I didn't much care for them."

Tommy didn't say a word.

"The feeling was mutual." It sighed heavily. "You're a much better replacement, Sunshine."

"I'm sorry for asking."

The beast purred. "Don't be, dear. I pressed you. And I don't mind answering." It jostled the cart. "And I'm done eating."

Tommy nodded and powered up the control panel again. The cart began to recede. 

It appeared from the darkness, picked completely clean and shiny as if it never been covered in blood at all.

It scared him a little, how quickly the monster could eat such a large amount, but he dismissed those thoughts as easily as they came. When would that ever affect him?

He checked the clock. He still had a few hours before he had to report back. "Do you mind if I stay with you longer?"

The monster laughed conspiratorially. "Oh, but that's against the rules," it said in a high mockery of his voice.

He flushed.

He had been terrified of the monster when they first met. He gave any excuse to leave the beast as soon as he could, including that the rules specified that spending unnecessary time with it was prohibited. That was true, but no one would have known if he chose to linger. In hindsight, it had been terribly obvious how afraid he was and he's only embarrassed that the monster pretended to believe him.

"You're the worst."

"And you still want to spend time with me?"

Tommy blew a raspberry at the darkness, earning a few laughs.

It was comfortably quiet for a few seconds before the monster spoke again. "Why are you curious about my old keepers?"

He tugged at his fingers. "Do you know how I ended up here?"

"You never talk about it."

He frowned. "And I never will," he responded coldly. It never gave up asking. "But do you know, generally, how someone ends up working this kind of job?"

The monster was quiet. "Yes."

Tommy didn't say anything for a minute. "The king is very angry with me. I don't want to see him again. However the other keepers escaped..." He shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. If the king requests an audience with me, it isn't for any good reason."

~

When the king acquired his monster, he hired out help to feed the thing and keep it under control. He made sure the beast ate lavishly, but now matter what they fed it, it never seemed like to satiate the creature. But it hadn't died of starvation and that was good enough. When its caretakers started to disappear, it wasn't difficult to guess what happened.

But acknowledging the problem would mean addressing it too, and the king simply didn't care. In the end, he realized he had the perfect way to quietly do away with those he needed gone. He sourced this job, with its one hundred percent rate of 'job abandonment' to political adversaries or people growing affluent enough to take his throne.

Which takes him to the present day, and a rather interesting problem.

When some servant boy had spilled a bottle of red wine down his front during a gala several years prior, the king had been so angry that he threw the child in a dungeon and left him there. When the monster's then-keeper inevitably disappeared, the king came to the boy and grimly informed him of his punishment.

He hadn't expected the child to last more than a couple of days. He'd even picked out his replacements.

But lo and behold, the boy remained present at his job post for a week. And then that week became several, and those several became months, and those months became a year and a half.

The king couldn't understand why it hadn't eaten him yet. He was fifteen at this point, certainly the youngest to feed the monster. Was it waiting for him to grow up? Did it want to watch him sprout up before it made its attack? It was perfectly sentient, and the king knew this even though he denied it upfront. Shouldn't the monster trust that the sooner it finished its current keeper, the sooner he would be replaced by another?

Had there been someone who had managed to bring this creature to subservience? If so, then the king took special interest.

And if not, then it was long overdue that the servant boy be put to death.

~

Being a human's lapdog wasn't a dignified experience, but it was a fed one. Driders were megafauna, making it hard to get enough food. It certainly didn't help that the human kingdom believed everything was its rightful property and saw driders as a threat to them owning more than they could eat.

Wilbur certainly didn't enjoy his life, and he was almost always hungry anyway, but at least he was alive.

He lived in a dungeon below the castle, but he wasn't sure what a castle was and he barely understood the concept of a dungeon. He hadn't seen the sunshine in years, and his keeper was his only company.

He liked his keeper. The boy was kind. He didn't threaten to pee in Wilbur's food or throw rocks at him. He asked him how his day was, and even made it a point to handle the meat carefully as he transported it into the cart. He seemed lonely, and made up excuses to stay. He was a cute little thing, and Wilbur wanted to stick him into his brooding pouch and keep him there.

~

The cart rolled into Wilbur's enclosure, and he greedily snatched it up and began to eat.

His keeper sat at a table in the light.

Wilbur finished his food in a few seconds and toyed with the cart. He always made it seem as if it took him longer to eat than it did.

"Do you have a family?"

The boy froze at the question. "Why do you ask?"

Wilbur pouted even though he knew he couldn't be seen. "We've known each for so long. I don't even know what your name is. Can't I know just a little?"

His keeper awkwardly laughed, fidgeting with his fingers. "Oh... I guess you're right."

Wilbur's heart leapt.

"I don't have a family."

"Oh." Shit.

"Yeah."

What was he supposed to say?

"I don't have a family either."

His keeper peered into the darkness. "What are you?"

Wilbur smiled. He skittered to the bars of his cage and leaned against them, towering over the boy, though he had no idea. "Would you like to play twenty questions?"

"You're so lame, seriously, what are you? I don't even know what you look like."

I could show you, he wanted to say.

Coming out of his cage was easy. The king assumed it could hold him but no one actually checked. And aside from his keeper, no one had been in his dungeon for years. In reality, the bars had long been bent open and Wilbur could get out whenever he pleased.

It wouldn't be difficult to come through the bars and present himself to his keeper. Pick the little figure up in his hands and take him into his cage with him.

When he'd eaten his previous keepers, they'd always been replaced. If he captured his current keeper and stored him away in his brooding pouch, then he'd never be lonely again.

It was tempting.

"That's probably for the best," he said. He stepped away from the bars of his cage and curled up on the floor.

He liked his keeper. He wanted him to be happy. Just because Wilbur was stuck in a cage didn't mean he had to be as well.

"Do you think I'd be scared of you?"

Wilbur looked down at himself, at his large stature and eight legs. His fangs came down to his mid chin. "I think you'd be terrified, dear."

His keeper smiled. "I don't think so. I have a suspicion that you're just harmless."

His heart melted. Oh stars, he wanted to eat this kid.

He massaged his aching brood pouch. "You're sweet, Sunshine."

~

The cart was left in his cage while he was sleeping. He woke up confused, spying it in the corner of his enclosure and wondered why he'd been fed overnight. Where was his keeper? His mind jumped to the worst conclusions.

He found him inside the cart. Bound and gagged and looking terrified beyond all reason.

"Oh, Sunshine," he murmured.

His words had the opposite intended effect, his keeper starting to panic and writhe at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, hey... Calm down, okay? I'll get you out of there." He reached into the cart and picked him up in his hand.

Despite the circumstance, his heart soared. This was the closest they'd ever been.

The figure was tiny in his palm, and still struggling.

Wilbur quickly undid his bounds, being mindful of his sharp claws against the human's body. As soon as his hands were free, he was clawing at the gag around his mouth.

"Don't eat me! Please, do not eat me..."

Wilbur's stomach dropped.

"What? Sunshine, why would I eat you?"

The boy continued to sob.

Wilbur cupped him to his chest and headed towards the bars of his enclosure. He expertly clambered through and came out the other side, his skin exposed to the light for the first time in more than a year.

"Dear? Can you talk to me?" He stroked his head with his thumb and brought him eye level. "Why were you in my feeding cart?"

His keeper stared at him in shock, and it was then that he remembered his keeper had never truly seen him before.

A hot wave of embarassment and self consciousness overtook him.

He awkwardly set his little human on his table and receded back into his enclosure.

"Sunshine?" He prompted once back in his cage. "Are you..."

"Could - could you get out the whole time?"

Wilbur's mouth went dry. "I - well, yes, I could but - "

His keeper stumbled off the table and hit the ground with a nasty sounding crack.

Wilbur sprang to his claws and scrambled forward. He popped his head out between the bars and stared down at his little keeper. "Are you okay?"

The human stared up at him with terror on his face and scrambled backwards, running for the door.

"Shit, shit, wait, I'm sorry! Please stay, please, Sunshine - "

The door slammed behind him with a resounding crack and Wilbur flinched backwards.

~ ~ ~ 🕸

i used to love drider aus back in 2020 🕷️🕷️🕷️

just a freaky little guy whose half dude and half Fear. potential off the charts.

my tag list got lost when my computer was annihilated (</3) but let me know in replies if you want to get @'d and i'll make a new one

oh yeah link to the writing prompt and story i did fill out

[still-a-morosexual-help]

I posted 1,474 times in 2022

1,291 posts created (88%)

183 posts reblogged (12%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@still-a-morosexual-help

@ohmyglobwhatthefrickamievendoing

I tagged 1,407 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#obey me - 934 posts

#asks - 885 posts

#obey me shall we date - 850 posts

#obey me! - 819 posts

#shall we date? obey me! - 818 posts

#swd obey me - 815 posts

#obey me mammon - 354 posts

#om! mammon - 288 posts

#swd mammon - 283 posts

#shall we date mammon - 260 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#amxudmfnfidlxunfk i hate that i didn't catch on that this was the anime 'sports festival arc' till you said it😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ever stop to think about how fucking insane MC is?

Two of the brothers have admitted, to their face, to eating humans. To relishing it. They spoke about it with longing.

One of the brothers killed them, laughed over their corpse & was more than willing to kill the entire human race.

One of the brothers told them in graphic detail how he would rip out their heart.

Two of the brothers told them in graphic detail how they would rip them apart limb by limb.

Five of the brothers have nearly killed them.

One has threatened to kill them multiple times.

There is a high high chance.....................who am I kidding.....It's 100% guaranteed that all seven of the brothers have killed and eaten humans.

And MC gives 0 shits. They live with them, love them and consider them their family. I.....I don't think they'd care if the brothers were still actively killing humans. I think they'd actually pick the brothers over the lives of humans...

...They did pick the brothers over the lives of humans. Remember in S3 when a human pointed a gun at Belphie and they were able to summon fire, hot enough to melt a bullet, which then rushed towards the man? Even when Diavolo transformed to kill the man for daring to shoot Belphie, they were never concerned with Diavolo killing the man - either they agree with Diavolo and want revenge or they agree with Belphie and don't want to make more trouble for themselves.

They're also able to threaten to burn Little D No. 2 alive because he kept making too many chicken puns while in a chicken costume.

What the fuck is wrong with them?

I mean there's being chill and then there's not giving a fuck that the guy whose mouth you're sticking your tongue down regularly consumed human flesh at a point in his life

What the fuck is wrong with them?

Edit:

Lowkey devastated that people couldn't tell that as a monsterfucker & a person who is attracted to unhinged monsterfuckers this entire post was made out of a place of awe and lust

Anyway if you want a fic about this very concept, featuring unnamed gn! mc × mammon try -> Under the Gentle Rains

3,527 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#4

Wait wait W A I T is this the first time MC gotta make out with demon form Mammon!?😳

click for better quality because the look, the raised eyebrow & the smirk deserve better quality

3,659 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

#3

I love this fucking family.

See the full post

3,837 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#2

Some random demons: *gushing about how stoic and cool Lucifer is. how he must be a sadistic Dom. ~Daddy™~*

MC, a known eavesdropper, who lives with the guy; staring off into the distance:

4,239 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Mammon's such a fascinating character because canonically:

*good at solving complex mathematical problems in his head in a matter of seconds*

*understands people, their emotions and how they'd react to specific situations and uses that knowledge to manipulate them and get what he wants (whether that's some physical object or a certain reaction from them or just for them to calm down)*

*when there's no other choice at all, he steps up and effectively takes charge*

*a good teacher and seems to have a good balanced mix between being strict, encouraging and helpful*

*whenever Lucifer wants a job done well (no matter what the job is), he relies on Mammon (and has done so since they were angels)*

*scams usually work, he just tends to get caught at the end*

*came up with a code on the spot to tell MC he missed them while also being a comprehensible message on its own, that fit with his 'tsundere' personality*

*constantly found ways to sneak into the human world from the Celestial Realm*

*has fast and spontaneous reactions during high stake situations where you need to move/react fast*

*enjoys playing chess*

*can multitask well*

*actual emotional intelligence*

*one of the first brothers (the second?) to realise there was something wrong with Simeon*

*has a variety of skills that range from making balloon animals to fitting in seamlessly in a corporate environment*

*extremely hardworking when there's a goal he genuinely wants that he's working towards*

*when giving it his all he tends to pick up new skills easily*

*by his younger brothers' own admittance, he can do anything, complete any task and he can do it well as long as he puts effort into it*

But also canonically:

*had no idea what the fuck rent was*

*a shit liar*

*said "what if I accidentally tell MC I'm in love with them" to MC*

*constantly failing all his classes*

*easily falls for traps/curses*

*emotional intelligence fizzles out when it comes to talking about his own problems/admitting anything about himself*

*bet and lost their new house*

*managed to trick himself into believing he'd get a prize if he won a competition that Diavolo explicitly said there was no prize for*

*came up with a plan to win the competition in a matter of seconds, easily and constantly changing it to better fit the situation at hand. a plan that worked extremely well. lost the competition because he couldn't be bothered to check the title of a book*

Mammon's a character who'll break down and teach you PhD level Mathematics without breaking a sweat and then ask you what kind of animal the Pink Panther is in the next sentence.

I love him. I want to study him under a microscope.

See the full post

5,883 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rosemelodyshah]

Hello!!

Hope you had a good day/night doing whatever you were doing.

I was wondering if you have any crossover fics? Or fics that follow the plot/main idea of another book/tv series/movie or even on taking the events of one HP generation, perse, and giving it to another?

Also what happened to that SpiderVerse fic thing?

Hi!

I am having a good time, thanks for asking.

What happened to Spider Man fic is that I still have not got a good name, or any name, really lol

As for the other questions, no, I have no crossovers. Mostly because I never can figure out what really becomes crossover territory, so I've simplified it into characters of two different whatever contacting each other.

Also not the right ask but I can't find the other one, I wouldn't say it's illegal to make fics with real people but I don't think I'd ever do it. Like a character is, not real so it's fine for me, but real people-- not for me. I don't do erotic or smutty or inappropriate things, but I wouldn't make fics of a real person, alive or dead. Probs wouldn't read them either, but that's just me. As for the celebs fic thing-- they're still human I think, no? It's not my cup of tea, but I also don't have that kind of liking, not sure if its the right word, for any celebs. Like sure watch their vids and interviews or movies or whatever, but really that it (FOR ME)

Back to this ask (sorry for answering another one in the middle), I do have the other type of fics. I'll list them in case you wanted to know (and someone should really define crossovers bc idk exactly what is a crossover)

I have one in which James kinda lives out Harry's life. (I honestly don't even know where its at rn)

And, not sure if its what you meant, but I am doing a Triwizard tournament fic in which it happens differently and in the Marauders year

I again don't know if it counts, but one called Horcrux Hunt that has PF and Horcrux Hunting and Harry.

And then there's one I call 'the PF Young Sheldon fic'. I haven't seen Young Sheldon (unless you count the shorts that I watched like months ago) and the only similarity I'd say is an underage boy gets an overage girl pregnant. There's PF and good but protective Black family. Honestly half hoping someone tells me to not call it Young Sheldon bc I'm pretty sure that's not the point of the show at all.

There's my PF Spider Man fic.

And an unnamed fic which makes Sirius Cassie from the Naturals series. I made a couple snippets while reading that but I don't think much is to be uhh expected for it.

A freaky firday thing except I don't really know what happens in it and i just make Sirius really want to rip Regulus throat out again. And again. And again.

There's a couple Royal AUs if they count somehow. And Mafia ones too.

Oh and like a Tangled and Cinderella and Aladin aU somewhere Im sure

And a Robin Hood one/s(?) which I did a lot of work in like 6 months ago or something but its been a while since I did anything for it (do remember the rough plot which is cool Ig)

And I'm sure there were also some more I've forgotten but yeah

[littlefreya]

The Big Bad Wolf

Summary: If there is anything August enjoys it’s breaking those who resist him. Now trapped in his little cage, the little bird has no where to fly to.

Prompt:

I always found the idea funny of August breaking a strong girl. similar to Ingvild. but like she is one of his strongest Apostels and fights by his side. She's unstoppable but August just looks at her and is like 'yep this girl definitely got some issues lets tell her she's our good girl and make her kneel'

Pairing: August Walker x Original Female Character (3rd person pov)

Word count: 1.7K

Warnings: 18+, abuse of power, rough cage fucking, hatesex, unprotected sex, hinted breeding, risky creampie, possessive behaviour. On the safe side it’s borderline dub-con.

A/N: Got inspired by the prompt and by watching Mi6 for the 700th time. That scene gave me ideas and look where we are today. Many thanks to my love @agniavateira​ for beating my work.

Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed. Your feedback is my fuel. 🖤

Title: The Big Bad Wolf

August Walker admires a good challenge mainly because he always gets what he wants, either by the sweetness of his maw or the sharpness of his fangs. This time, the presented game at hand is indeed a fine one to be played: a woman so hateful, her blazing glare makes smouldering coals gather in the sour pit of his gut. 

He calls her the ‘Spawn of Lilith.’ Nothing but another entitled little brat. She forgets who she works for, but he would be there to give her a keen reminder. Hell, he is going to catch up with her, and when he does, it’s going to hurt. 

Even if it means he’ll have to char the flesh right off her bones. 

And so, he lurks in the shadows like an incubus. Watching, waiting for the moment when they are completely alone in the Apostles’ little underground hideout—a hidden cavern dug into onyx iron rocks and smooth oceanic minerals somewhere over the bleak Irish sea.

Even alone, she walks about as if she is the queen of his unnamed kingdom, her icy exterior growing icicles at the ceiling of the claustrophobic chamber while August seethes beneath his skin. Holding himself around her for months has been hard in many ways yet tonight, the opportunity presents itself like a gift wrapped up in a red little bow; his little glacier of a woman has literally walked herself into a trap. 

Unaware of August’s presence, she stands inside the cage where they store their ammunition and equipment. Too busy running through logistics, she doesn’t hear the careful footsteps that wander to join her inside.

When the metal bars rattle and slam behind her she almost gives out a squeal. Dropping the chart and her pen, she throws her head over her shoulder and immediately rolls her eyes. There he is again, that fucker, leaning against the shut door with his hands behind his lower back and a mist of lust clouding his furrowed gaze. 

She knew this day would come. She felt the way he covets her; perhaps in her most forbidden, unspoken dreams, she summoned him too. She hates everything about this and more than anything, she hates herself for the sweat gathering between her thighs.

August Walker, the shaggy canine beast. His eyes flare like volcanic stones as they wander languidly, while the tip of his serpentine tongue slithers across his lips. She swears she can see saliva dripping down his dimpled chin while he takes her in as if she was some forbidden delight. 

He would devour her alive, rip, tear, and swallow the remnants of her bones and then use one of her ribs to pick his teeth clean.

“Are you going to make this harder than it already is?” He asks, voice as calm as a fucking bomb.

Without batting an eyelash she shifts her posture, crossing her arms together and clenching her jaw. “The fuck do you want, Lark?”

“Hmm,” he groans softly and moves himself from the gate, long confident strides bringing him closer to his object of desire. He circles her for a moment, inhaling sharply as if he can smell the dew between her inner thighs. 

“You know what I want kitten,” he responds with a pause, pushing his tongue between his teeth, his glare fixed on her groin. “Bend over.”

“No.” 

With a spiteful smirk smearing her lips, she turns away from him—a costly mistake. Before she manages to return to her task, August's large claw clutches her shoulder, slamming her against the bars. His foot kicks her legs apart while he nuzzles her temple and huffs like a ravenous animal.

In her despair she whimpers, both out of protest and the undeniable desire to be fucked selfishly by a very dangerous, bad man.

“You’re saying no to me? I own this whole operation. That means, I fucking own you. And I take what’s mine whenever the fuck I want.”

Hanging onto the cold bars, she swallows the lump in her throat and closes her eyes. Her hatred toward him knows no bounds but her body is poisoned by the type of yearning only demonic possession can explain. It taints her with self-loathing, though if there’s anything that August taught, it’s that desire always triumphs above logic and reason.

It won’t do her any good to resist him anyway. 

Body arching, she sticks her ass against his rigid bulge, grinding back and forth. Fuck, she could swear he is harder than the iron in her grip. Her cunt already milks at nothing in preparation for the softness of his flesh and the thought of its warmth ploughing her open.

“Get it over with, porn ‘stache!” She spits.  

His growl clatters the bars like the tail of a rattlesnake. Unceremonious, he forces her trousers and panties down to expose her ass while urgently fumbling with his belt. The sound of the buckle clicking behind her sets ripples of need down her soaking mound. Lungs shrinking, she twists her sweaty palms around the bars and gasps, waiting to feel him stuff her with his huge cock.

August spits on his fingers, briefly lubricating himself before he parts her cheeks and penetrates her tight little slit with a loud grunt.

“Fuck!!!” They scream in unison, stilling and leaning against one another with the astonishment of two bodies mingling into one. This carnal function is beyond their sentiments and despise of each other. Pulsating heat, desire, and barbaric friction reduce them to nothing but primitive beings, grinding against one another in search of both heaven and hell.  

‘Oh, baby, hell is a place on earth.’

Like a wolf in a gentleman’s clothing, August reveals his true savagery. The elegant suit and slick haircut are but a mask of phantasm to the bloodthirsty animal that dwells beneath the surface. Wrapping a hand around hers, he holds her in place and begins rutting fast and hard, revelling in the screams and helpless sobs sputtering from her lips as his cock forces her to stretch. Every thrust further expands her for him, forcing her to become his vessel. With August’s girth pulsating inside her lonely crease, she is stripped of the remaining tendrils of resistance. Sooner than imagined, she is swaying along, moving to accept every inch like a wanton slut. 

Oddly enough, he is anything but the lame fuck she believed him to be.

“Lark,” she chants breathless, “harder!”

August chuckles at her pleas and slams his hips into her trembling ass. “Not such a cold bitch now, aren’t you?” He rasps, bottoming in, reaching a spot inside her so sensitive, tears follow from her eyes.

“You like this, huh? Like it when the big bad fucks you? I can feel your hot pussy clenching around me as if your life depends on it, swallowing my cock like a desperate little whore.”

Her answers are pitiful moans, her hands sliding lower on the sweat-slicked metal. The war to remain strong and agile falters as August rails her body the way a predator shakes its prey in order to stun it. At this moment she is heedless, surrendering to the carnal needs of a man who’d take the same pleasure in killing her as much as screwing her. 

“You are mine now, you understand?” Increasing the pace into a punishing rhythm, he reaches one hand to grab her neck, squeezing and leaning her head against his chin. “I’ll take this from you whenever and wherever I want. Maybe even put a little collar around that neck of yours to mark you.”

The cage suddenly feels smaller than it is—flesh and iron close all around her, August consumes and inhabits every pore of her skin.

“No...” she mumbles, but her voice breaks into a peal of shuddering gasps as August shifts to bounce her vigorously onto his swelling lust, proving a point of who’s in charge. The familiar symphony of senses begins to quickly swim through the base of her loins, spreading like colourful heat as he buries himself so deep she can feel him in every inch of her soul. 

Drowned in a mist of pure delirium, his name spills from her lips. She sends her hand to the back of his head and crashes like the waves that collapse on the rocks outside. Her treacherous womb draws August near, her pulsating canal threatening to make him one with her body. 

Although he planned to pull out, his hips falter and he pushes himself the deepest he can. The aching tip of his cock kisses at the wall of her womb and empties himself, hot and thick with a shuddering grunt. Hand clutched around her belly, he holds himself deep, huffing against her hair until his milky seed begins seeping out from around his cock and trickles down her shuddering thighs.

“Fuck, I needed that.” August pants. He leans to kiss the back of her head and then nudges his nose into her scalp like some sick animal. The scent of her lavender shampoo, sea mist, and acrid sweat pervade his nostrils; he inhales further the sweet aroma of victory when a sudden dry blow hits him in the abdomen. 

“I fucking hate you, you fucking dog!” She hisses, forcing him to pull out with an amused, taunting chuckle. His steel-blue eyes fall on the battered hole between her legs, feeling proud as his thick semen oozes out before she pulls her pants back on. She turns to look at him with whispering embers for eyes.

Tucking himself back into his trousers, August follows her with his gaze, watching how she scampers for the gate and battles with the handle to escape this prison of disgrace.  

“Better get some rest, pet. I’ll come for more later tonight,” he calls toward her with a promise as he rolls himself against the metal rods and sighs.

Finally managing to free herself, the door opens with a loud screech. She means to flap her wings and fly but then pauses and throws August a spiteful glance. The grin spreading on his face seems almost endearing, his large dimples deep and his cobalt eyes shining like a child’s who just got a puppy for Christmas. 

“Don’t worry,” he chimes, exposing those big white fangs. “I will bite.”

[darkeninganon]

ha ha, I blame @bittydragon and their Webbed AU. Anyone who knows me knows I started out as an anon on Roman’s blog who spent their time making their AUs extremely dark and angsty. Bitty has now been hit with their Webbed AU. :) I’m calling this the Arachnophobia AU because it’s going to be really dark and keeps activating my own arachnophobia :’) (I have to look up spiders for this AU) Trigger Warnings for: Arachnophobia (Driders/spider people), Death (Unnamed drider), Killing, Blood (Kind of implied), Vore, and Cursing!

Tommy stared at the forest stretching out around him. Of course he had to explore deeper into the woods than was allowed and now him and his friends were in this situation. Trapped in a giant web made by something and no one around for miles.

"Tubbo, please stop yelling..." Ranboo grumbled, the half albino clearly ready to accept the fate that would inevitably befall the trio. His nihilism was sometimes a little too much to deal with.

Tubbo was yelling for help, he had been since Tommy fell into the web, and only increased in volume when he and Ranboo joined Tommy. "Shut up! Someone has to fucking hear us!"

"Yeah, or something. That's more likely!"

"Oh fuck you!"

"I'd... Hrm, you know what, never mind, I don't care."

"HELP!!"

Tommy sighed, scrunching his eyes shut. This was a horrible idea.

And then he felt the thread move.

Tommy's eyes flew open, heart leaping. "Tubbo! Tubbo something's coming!"

"Hey! We're stuck! Help us!"

"Guys, I'm not sure..."

Tommy joined in, yelling, pleading for help from whoever was moving the sticky thread of the spider's web. Both boys stopped, falling silent in horror as something beyond their imagination slowly came out of the foliage.

"That's not a person..." Ranboo whimpered, staring in terror at the half-human-half-spider creature looming over the trio.

"Huh, would have thought you were more... substantial from all that yelling." The creature stated, slowly and lazily. "Oh well, guess it's fine." The creature moved faster, obscenely long legs carrying it over the sticky threads to the trio as if it was nothing.

"woah, woah, woah! Can't we talk about this?!" Tommy tried, struggling against his bonds.

"Nope. Been without food for a week. Nothing to really talk-" The spider creature screeched suddenly as something dropped on its back. "You! Get off me! Stop!"

The trio watched as the spider creature struggled before falling over, limp save for a twitch of the leg.

And then the snickering began.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" The trio looked at their savior, hearts sinking as they realized it was another spider-person-thing. Smaller than the one whose web they were trapped in, but a second one no less. "Three little humans, all caught and with no way out? How sad." The spider-person hummed. It seemed to be floating in mid air as it dragged the much bigger spider person closer. "You know, I don't normally waste my time with people, but maybe you three could be fun. I mean, I did save you from certain death, so you kind of owe me, you know?" The giant spider creature convulsed, and the floating one reacted quickly to bite it in the neck.

Tommy watched as the light seemed to fade from the much larger one's eyes, it once again falling limp. He looked back up to the floating one. "You... You killed it."

The floating one smiled, removing his mouth from his prey. "Well duh! I eat these guys. Sometimes humans, but, I think I'll keep you guys around for a while."

"What?!" The trio practically yelled in unison. Tommy could only watch in horror as this new spider creature floated the rest of the way down, landing lightly on the web before it approached Tubbo, easily ripping his shorter friend from the web. "Tubbo!" Tommy's eyes teared up as he watched the spider creature dangle Tubbo over its mouth and drop him in, gulping loudly and snickering as it turned to Ranboo. "You son of a bitch! Let him out!" The creature ignored Tommy, stalking over to Ranboo.

"Hm, you're taller." It hummed, pulling his second friend from the web.

Ranboo was silent, looking to Tommy as he shook his head. He began to struggle when the creature opened its mouth, a deadly chasm just below his feet. "TOMMY!"

"RANBOO!" The duo called out to each other as Ranboo was dropped into the creatures mouth, where it seemingly rolled around- or worse, chewed- Tommy's last friend before swallowing him as well.

"You.. You sick FUCK!" Tommy hissed out, the creature approaching him. It knelt down next to him. God, even if this thing was small it was still probably hundreds of times larger than the trio. All three could probably fit in its hand with ease.

"What? You'll be fine. I'm not going to eat you yet. Little humans like you are too useful to me." It chuckled, pulling Tommy from the web as it did so. "Now, behave, you don't want me to change my mind!"

Tommy was unceremoniously thrown into the air, yelling as he fell, only to hear the sharp click of teeth snapping around him and plunging him into darkness. Tommy screamed and tried to fight back as he was thrown around by the slimy appendage that was this thing's tongue. He could feel the creature tilt its head back and swallow him down, his hand flying up and trying desperately to grab onto anything he could, made impossible by the slimy saliva. Tommy felt himself slide down the tight, muscular tube before falling into a more open space.

Right on Tubbo and Ranboo.

"Ow!"

"Oi! You two okay?!"

"For now we are. Right boss man?"

"Tommy just landed on my spine, we are inside a giant spider person, and no one knows we're gone. I wouldn't call this "okay" at all."

"Yep, he's fine."

Tommy sighed. They were alive, for now.

Dream smiled, happy his new pets were tucked away and safe. They probably thought they were in his actual stomach and not his storage stomach. Heh, oh well, they'd figure it out eventually. Right now he had to drag this giant pest that dared set up his web in Dream's territory someplace to store it. He made his way back to his drop line, smirking as he felt the trio stumble and jostle about inside him. Yeah, they'd be useful. And once they were done being useful he'd get rid of them for good.

[sparklygoblin]

okay so I've been gone for a minute because I was writing my first fic on ao3 but I'm back with more trash than ever! I really love crack fics and my friend and I thought up this absolutely GREASY premise and I just couldn't help myself. I only included a few of my ideas in this post but let me know if yall like it and maybe I'll do a part 2

Haikyuu!! Frat House AU

Bokubro is obviously a member of the frat, he's also a minor drug dealer with Kuroo, and his room is L I T E R A L L Y DISGUSTANG, like Kuroo actually has a fear of Bokuto's side of their room. People are baffled, BAFFLED when they find out that his boyfriend is non other than Akaashi, president of the most prestigious fraternity on campus. But what can akaashi say? he believes any guy who can drink his weight in vodka, take at least three different unnameable drugs, and still smile at him the morning after, deserves his attention.

Kuroo took one for the team when he rushed, and roomed with Bokuto. Needless to say, his quiet gamer boyfriend, Kenma, refuses to stay over. When they first met at one of the frat's infamous ragers, they'd stumbled into Kuroo's shared room, heading toward a drunk hook up. Then Kenma put his hand in something wet. And very much alive. That was the first and last time. Bokuto and him irritate everyone by constantly referring to themselves as "businessmen", only to be immediately informed by Iwaizumi and Daichi that "selling drugs to high schoolers doesn't make you business men"

Daichi didn't want to be in charge, but duty calls and when you and Iwaizumi are the only sane ones in the house, well a man has to step up. Plus, it totally gains him brownie points with all of the trashy college girls that show up to their notorious parties. because he was totally interested in that, and definetly not in the chaotic silver haired boy from the competing fraternity. no he wanted nothing to do with Sugawara. It's not like he catches himself openly fantasizing about him, and the whole house made it into a running joke.

Iwaizumi is also in charge, to no one's surprise. he and daichi have the cleanest room in the house, not only that but he's the only one who will do dishes. he's exhausted. he's also sleeping with Oikawa Tooru the single most irritating member of the prestigious fraternity suga and akaashi are in. but don't mention it, don't talk about the way he blushes when oikawa throws it back, and DEFINETLY don't bring up the time Oikawa broke his knee sneaking out of Iwaizumi's room, and spent an entire semester harassing iwaizumi on a bright pink motorized scooter.

Ushijima doesn't really care enough to be in charge. Mans is a FARMER if you catch my drift, and he makes fat stacks off of his "business" with Kuroo and Bokuto. once spent the entirety of his rush week in a maid's costume. but hey he's not complaining, it did get him the attention of that really weird dude from his leisure cooking class. he and Tendou are possibly the only couple that have it all figured out so kudos to them, three years strong

the miya twins are living frat legends, and they have been since their first party, at which Osamu got wasted and punched an equally wasted atsumu in the face for "breathing too loud". Atsumu seems like he sleeps around a lot, and maybe he did, but the guy won't stop simping for a very reserved chem major named Sakusa. sakusa gave into atsumu's begging once and woke up on a stained mattress in Vegas for his trouble.

Terushima is also there, making each party a little bit more chaotic and sleeping his way through ever girl on campus, except for kiyoko and yachi, the other guys were oddly protective of them. make no mistake though, terushima was a loveable himbo, who made extra sure that safe, sane , and consensual relations were his top priority. during hell week, he had to poop in a target dumpster, but daichi and iwaizumi didn't keep a good look out for him, he narrowly avoided getting arrested. NARROWLY.

Nishinoya and Tanaka rushed together. it went exactly how you think it did. Daichi and iwaizumi swore up and down that if they weren't desperate for new pledges, they would've never let those two in after they set the toilet on fire. Tanaka got really smacked one night and took a vow to abstain from any hook ups until he and Kiyoko (the hot girl from that one sorority) were engaged. Noya holds him to it and it's actually really wholesome. Noya on the other hand is battling a low grade obsession with the anxious design major from Akaashi's fraternity. everytime Asahi gets inebriated he's instantly the life of the party, and if Noya wasn't already in love, that time drunk Asahi took his clothes off and swam in the city fountain with him really cemented it.

kyoutani hates that little snot from the other fraternity....what was his name? mini oikawa, super prissy and whiny....YaHAbA. Kyoutani won Iwazumi's admiration when he took his rush like a champ, obliterating keg stands and hair removal alike. everyone thinks it's really funny because they're basically the same person down to the snotty, prissy, irritating boyfriends they won't admit they have.

Ennoshita is the mini daichi, and he's a simp for Tanaka. constantly pulling him back from fights, and rubbing his back when he throws up. maybe someday Tanaka might notice....

Lev is possibly the dumbest rush they have ever received and also the most fun. his natural talent for shotgunning and dangerous drunken adventures, makes him a favorite. he ripped his pants in front of the entire student body during his rush, on purpose. like he wanted it to happen. still to this day, no one understands why. he's been simping for yaku as long as he's been in college, so two whole months. to the outside world, it looks like the angry little man wouldn't think twice about the lowly freshman, but lev's been in enough closets with him to know that that's just not true.

kindaichi just adds to the madness, he's an anxious peacemaker with an epic talent as a lightweight, and a massive crush on his apathetic roommate, kunimi. Kunimi regretted joining the frat the first time he watched Bokuto peel string cheese with his toes.

Hinata and Kageyama are rushing at the same time. Tobio Swageyama is made for Greek life, but Hinata can barely do a keg stand. So naturally they are paired together through the rush callenges. This results in the loss of no less than six pairs of pants, a completely bald (no eyebrows) Kageyama, and an upside down lower back tattoo reading "boke", sometimes they get a little too spicy at parties and take the whole "kiss the homies goodnight" thing to a whole other level

[night-faye]

Hunted and Merlin👀👀👀? For Angst for April?

SO! It’s not explicitly angsty, but it certainly has some undertones of it! I apologize if it isn’t exactly what you were looking for, but if it’s any consolation, I am seriously thinking about continuing this!

An arrow whizzed by his ear, and Arthur turned fast, eyes widening as he searched the tree line, his heart pounding in his chest as his fingers flexed around the hilt of his sword, leather wrappings digging into the skin of his palm.

He swallowed, and turned back to the arrow, lodged impossibly deep into the trunk of a tree. Leon was inspecting it carefully, lining his sword with the shaft and attempting to figure out the trajectory.

Arthur turned, then, to Elyan and Percival, both adjusting nervously. They were good knights, no matter what his father said about him choosing to bestow noble titles onto commoners.

Elyan was, after all, just as educated as any other noble, and was the son of the royal blacksmith besides, there was nothing to say he couldn’t bestow a title onto him.

And Percival had saved his life, once. It had seemed only right to keep him close, since the large man had no objections to it.

So, as much as Uther complained, there was no way he could actually rip them of their titles without outcry from the counselors. For Uther was the first of his line to reign, so all the knights that had fought at his side had once been nothing but commoners or outsiders under the last king. There was not yet a strong line of nobility to lean back on. Arthur had every right to add his own trusted names to such a list.

Another arrow whizzed, and this one sliced across his cheek, behind a small, torn open scratch, before lodging into the slightly damp dirt of the trail with a thump.

“Sire!” Leon called. Arthur blinked, and lifted his fingers to the wound as he stared at the arrow, before drawing them back and looking at them.

The wound was barely even bleeding, his fingers only slightly streaked with blood. That was not a miss, and Arthur was beginning to think neither was the first one.

“These are warning shots,” he said, looking up at his three knights. “Warning shots from an incredibly skilled marksman.”

“What are they warning us about?” Elyan asked, adjusting his grip on his sword, and falling into a defensive stance, eyes flicking across the tree lines.

There was a massive roar, and it rumbled through the air, shaking the ground. The trees around them swayed dangerously, a few trunks cracking slightly.

“That,” a new voice said, and Arthur snapped his head up, coming face to face with a man who had to be younger than him, with black hair and ocean-blue eyes. He was standing on a thick, sturdy branch, and his dark blue cloak was flowing behind him and swaying slightly in the breeze, the hood halfway pulled over his head.

It didn’t hide the glint of a circlet made of silver leaves that bore a blue, teardrop gemstone in the middle of his forehead, hung slightly below the circlet by a chain.

Two cloaks, one a blue slightly lighter than the blue-eyed one’s, the other a foresty green that blended in with the leaves, dangled on either side of him. Whoever they were, sitting on the branch above him, they were both well hidden by the foliage. The only other visible thing was their dark, hard eyes, shadowed by the hoods of their cloaks.

The one he could see, standing on the lower branch, crouched down. He was holding a delicately carved bow, the wood engraved with swirling gold, and it now hung loosely from his fingertips, the quiver strapped to his back shifting slightly with his movements. He looked, mostly, annoyed.

“Kilgharrah doesn’t like strangers in his part of the woods. Especially strangers from Camelot.” he said, practically spitting the name of Arthur’s kingdom.

“Who is Kilgharrah? And why does he hate Camelot so much?” he asked.

The stranger tilted his head, and the sun streaming in between the leaves caught his eyes, and Arthur could’ve sworn there was a glimmer of gold running through the blue of them.

“Because the king of that land, Uther Pendragon, had him imprisoned for fifteen years.”

Arthur furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“For existing,” the stranger said, shrugging.

Arthur frowned. That didn’t really… Well, it did sound like his father, but surely he would have heard of a prisoner like that.

“Surely it isn’t as simple as that,” Leon spoke up. Arthur looked over to him, slightly startled. He hadn’t realized the knight had made his way over to Arthur’s side. “Surely this Kilgharrah must have done something beyond just existing?”

“He didn’t. He was a friend of my father’s, and Uther used my father to lure him into a trap, before turning on him, and chasing him from his home.”

“There has to be more to it,” Leon insisted. The stranger looked past them for a moment, and his face furrowed as if he were having an argument, before he rolled his eyes and looked back to Leon.

“Like I said. Kilgharrah never caused anyone harm. But Uther saw fit to eradicate magic from Albion. And that included Kilgharrah and his kind. He is the last of the dragons, and Uther kept him alive, as a trophy, under the castle of Camelot.”

Arthur’s gut twisted, but Leon spoke before he could.

“Dragons are dangerous creatures without reason!! How could you claim he’s never done any harm!?”

The stranger’s calm face fell, at that, and rage flashed across his features like a thunderclap. “Because he had a chance to demolish your beloved kingdom when I freed him, and perhaps I should’ve let him, but he listened to me even without my father’s powers, and he left it alone to live peacefully within these forests. Tell me, first knight, does that sound like a dangerous creature without reason?”

Leon opened his mouth, but didn’t say anymore. The stranger had a point.

The stranger had several points. Arthur has thought, for a long time now, that surely not everyone who possessed magic could be evil, and yet his father hunted them down indiscriminately, simply for existing.

And it sounded to him like that was what happened to this man’s father.

“You know who Leon is, then?”

“I do,” the stranger said, nodding. The calm returned to his face as he turned to look at Arthur. “As I know who you are, Prince Arthur.”

“Who are you?” Arthur asked, taking a step forward, and craning his head. The stranger smiled at that, a soft thing, his eyes crinkling with laughter not yet released.

“You wouldn’t know me.”

“Perhaps I should,” Arthur said, tilting his head. “I will be king one day, and there are several things I plan to do differently to how my father has done things. Perhaps I can learn something from you.”

There was a short burst of laughter coming from higher up, and the edges of the cape to the strangers left was shaking, slightly.

“Now that’s a good one!” A new voice crowed, lined with laughter. The stranger looked up at the person, frowning slightly.

“Now, Gwaine, perhaps he’s being earnest.”

“He’s a prince, Merls,” The voice, Gwaine, apparently, said. “What’s to say this isn’t a trick to lure you down there, so he can slice you down like his father has been trying to for the past eight years?”

“Gwaine,” another voice piped up, coming from the right of the stranger, ‘Merls’ sounded like a nickname, but Arthur wasn’t sure what it was deriving from. “He’s knighted two commoners, already. Maybe he really is different?”

“Excuse me,” Elyan called, he and Percival having joined the small group under the tree with the three strangers. “But, does that mean Uther knows of you?”

The stranger looked down, and smiled at Elyan, something sparkling in his eyes. “He does, Sir Elyan, brother of Gwen.”

Elyan’s eyes widened, slightly. “You know my sister?”

The stranger’s smile widened, and he nodded. “I do, she’s very sweet. You should do more things to help her, though.”

Elyan blushed at that, a little embarrassed, and he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Right, I will.”

“Elyan!” Leon crowed, and Elyan turned to look at Leon, lifting a brow.

“What? Mystery woodsy archer knows my sister, can convince a dragon of anything, and tells me to help her out more? What am I going to do? Not listen?”

There was another burst of laughter, though this one came from the stranger’s right side, the one who had chastised ‘Gwaine’, and suddenly the owner of it dropped down to the branch that the stranger was on, dark eyes bright, and short brown hair shifting slightly from his movement. “Wise words. Merlin’s very protective of his friends, after all.”

‘Ah, so his name is Merlin,’ Arthur thought, tilting his head as he looked back to him. ‘It fits.’

“My father has been hunting you for eight years?” Arthur asked, trying to get the conversation back to something a bit more sensible. Merlin tilted his head back to Arthur.

“Yes, he has.”

“Why?”

Merlin shrugged, easy acceptance. “Because I exist. Because he sees me as a threat.”

Arthur furrowed his brows, he was doing that a lot, actually. “Because you can control the dragon? Shouldn’t he try and make you an ally?”

The one that the as-yet unnamed stranger and Merlin called Gwaine dropped down, long, dark hair shifting and sweeping around his face, something shadowy in his brown eyes, creasing the laughter-lines at the corners of his eyes into something different. “Do you actually know your father at all? Or are you just that naïve?”

He was… Well, he was right. Arthur pressed his lips together. “I try to imagine he doesn’t let his bias against magic cloud his tactical judgment. It’s not the easiest thing to do, given the surplus of evidence to the contrary.”

Gwaine tossed his head back with a bark of laughter. “Alright, so you’re at least funny.” He tilted his head to face Merlin, “Maybe there’s something to your theory of his earnesty.”

Merlin smiled, and if Arthur knew him better, he might say it was smug.

The yet-unnamed one dropped down to the forest floor, straightening up and grinning. “So, you want advice on how to rule better than your father?”

Arthur swallowed, and nodded. “I do. It’s why I came out here. I have a friend, someone I consider a sister, I want to make the kingdom safe for her and people like her. She told me to seek someone named ‘Emrys’, said he could be found somewhere around these parts, and that he could help me.”

The unnamed-one, and Arthur was very close to just asking for it already, nodded, before looking up to Merlin and Gwaine. “Well, did’ja hear that, Gwaine?”

Gwaine pursed his lips, and glared down at the unnamed one. “Oh, shut up, Lancelot,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Merlin, however, finally dropped down. “Well, apparently, I was wrong. You do know of me.”

Arthur blinked, and furrowed his eyebrows. “I… Is ‘Merlin’ not your name?”

Merli- Emry- Whatever his name was, tossed his head back, laughter spilling from his lips.

“It is,” He said, before he shrugged. “But Emrys is another name for me. I don’t often answer to it, though.”

“You always get such a look when the druids refuse to call you Merlin,” Lancelot, and Arthur silently thanked god that he finally had a name for the man, pointed out, a chuckle lining his words.

“It’s the name my mother gave me, I’m not going to just toss it away for some name linked to the destiny that’s been getting me hunted down since my birth.”

“That sounds fair, Merlin,” Arthur said, and the smile that Merlin gave him at that made him feel inexplicable warm.

“Well, then. I suppose we should get to talking, M’lord,” he said, bowing slightly. Though the look in his eyes, and the quirk of his lips, told Arthur that it was less meant as a proper address, and much more of a joke than it sounded.

He’d take it.

“I suppose we should.”

Gwaine dropped down, and that’s when Arthur noticed a sword sheath, with a sword in it, strapped to his side. On second inspection, Lancelot had one as well. He wondered if they were as skilled with them as Merlin was with his bow.

And, well, with the way they were both standing, at ease but ready to shift into battle stances, he wouldn’t be at all surprised if they were.

“So,” he said, straightening slightly, though it still didn’t bring him to Merlin’s height. “When are we going to start?”

Posted on AO3 - Here

Prompt list - Here

[fandom-imagines]

Please.

Fandom: Friday the Thirteenth

Pairing: Jason X Reader

Warnings: Toxic relationship, non-con (not graphic, just mentioned), murder (of course).

Summary: Jason was ready to kill, but then he met her. 

Words: 1.7k

Camp Crystal Lake, the supposedly cursed lake, that’s where Y/N and her friends were currently headed. Not that she wanted to of course, her supposed friends, along with her boyfriend, often forced her to do things she didn’t want too.

They were around half a mile away from Damons, Y/N’s boyfriend, cabin that resided close to the camp. The five of them had never been there before, except Damon, and they were all excited; all except Y/N that is.

She couldn’t deny the fact that the place was beautiful, it was very beautiful, but she didn’t want to be here. Had it not been for the fact she had been threatened into it, she wouldn’t have come.

Damon was incredibly toxic, along with his three friends that she had been introduced to after their first date. He started off kind, but soon turned into a toxic piece of shit, to put it politely. He would often force her into doing things through threats of telling people secrets about her that she had trusted him with before he became toxic. She went from liking him a lot, to hating him a lot. A quick change.

“We’re here,” Damon’s voice sounded, striking a feeling of hatred in his girlfriend’s chest, “isn’t it amazing.” He said, signaling towards the cabin as he did so.

Narcissist too.

The rest of the group cheered in agreement, all except Y/N.

She watched as the other four clambered out of the van, waiting for them all to rush up to the cabin before following.

~

Jason was aware of the intruders the second they arrived. His body filled with uncontrollable rage, hand gripping his machete tighter than ever before.

He had been having a good day.

He knew what he had to do, and how he was going to do it.

~

“Babe,” Damon speaking ripped Y/N from her thoughts, “why aren’t you laughing?”

The two of them were currently seated on the porch outside, legs dangling over the edge.

“Huh?” She asked quietly, “What do you mean?”

Damon let out a deep sigh, “I mean I’ve been talking for the past ten minutes and you haven’t even responded.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was merely a whisper, being genuinely afraid of his reaction.

She heard Damon climb to his feet, not daring to look up at him.

“Whatever.” He spat, turning and walking away back inside to his friends.

She merely sighed.

~

Jason watched from outside the cabin as night-time grew closer.

He stared through the open windows as two of the group were drinking, the other two making out on the couch which simply made his grip on the machete tighten, anger rising up to his chest.

He was ready.

~

Y/N was still seated on the porch outside, this time nursing a bottle of alcohol, something that she rarely drank. She usually only drank when she was depressed.

Her Y/E/C eyes glanced up at the moon as she recalled all the good memories she had with Damon, tears filling her eyes as she did so. Closing her eyes, she did her best to conceal her sadness, not wanting to show weakness as she knew that he would take advantage of her sadness. That was something he did a lot.

She just wanted it to end; she needed it to end.

~

Jason observed the cabin once again, waiting for somebody to leave the building so that he could start his killing spree.

That was when he spotted her.

A Y/H/C-haired girl sitting alone outside. She was holding an alcoholic beverage tightly in her hand, something that disgusted him. As he observed her closer, it seemed as though she felt the same way he did about alcohol, face pulling into one of disgust when she took a sip, clearly not enjoying the taste.

Then why is she drinking it?

His thoughts wouldn’t be answered of course.

He was going to kill her. He was going to kill them all.

Or so he thought.

~

It was around 11pm when Damon’s girlfriend finally joined the party.

Everyone was drunk by now, dancing wildly as they continued to drink.

Y/N wasn’t though, she had only had one bottle and that wasn’t very strong. She was completely sober.

“Hey babe,” Damon reeked of alcohol, making her cringe, “where’ve you been?”

“Out.” Her words were quiet, something that happened often around him.

“Want a drink?” He asked, shoving another bottle in front of her face, basically demanding that she takes it.

“No, thank you.”

“Take it.” He spat, tightly gripping her hand, and forcing the drink into it, lifting it to her lips making her gulp.

~

It wasn’t long before his first victim left the cabin.

He was heading towards a small shack down from the cabin, by the river.

Jason observed the tall man as he entered the shack, searching for whatever it was he was after. Jason followed him, being as silent as possible despite his tall figure that lead to him nearly headbutting the doorway.

The victim found what he was looking for: more alcohol.

As he turned to leave the shack, the door slammed shut causing dust to fall onto both Jason and the unnamed man as it did so.

“Who’s there?” Jason cringed at the high-pitched voice which almost hurt his eardrums.

It was clear he was scared.

“C’mon, Damon.” His voice shook, “This isn’t funny man.”

Jason walked towards him, footsteps echoing throughout the small room.

“D-dude st-“his sentence was cut short with a scream as the killer shoved him against the wall, lifting him from his feet using the grip had around his neck.

He simply stabbed him, ignoring the desperate pleads for Jason the release his tight grip.

~

Y/N stood silently in the corner, witnessing her boyfriend flirt with his friend.

His hand was placed on her shoulder, his free hand holding a bottle of beer which he placed against the blondes’ wine glass, both raising their drinks to their lips quickly afterwards. She watched as the other girl laughed at, what she assumed to be, Damon’s joke.

It’s probably shit.

A sigh left Y/N’s lips as she noticed him lean down to the girls’ ear, whispering something that she couldn’t hear. She knew what it was, however. An invitation to join him in the upstairs bedroom. But the girl refused, shocking both Damon and his girlfriend. The taller boy simply nodded, stalking back towards the girlfriend that he had forgot he had, or simply didn’t care that he had.

“You okay?” Damon’s words were slurred as he pulled her tightly against his body, hands travelling down her back before reaching her ass, groping it much to the owners’ dismay.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She gulped, trying to remove herself from his grip but the hold he had on her was too tight.

“Let’s go upstairs,” his words were demanding, leaving no room for refusal, “now.”

She simply nodded.

~

Jason finished up with another victim, dragging their body to his own cabin to use later.

He stalked back up to the cabin where he knew his last two victims were residing. He noticed that the upstairs light was on, lifting himself with ease to reach the platform beneath the open window of the room.

A male’s moan was the first thing he heard, shortly followed by some filthy and degrading words through another moan. He noticed that the other person wasn’t responding and, as he looked through the window, he saw that her body was stiff.

He dropped through the window, finding it comical when the man quickly moved from his position on top of her to face the killer.

“What the fuck?!” He screamed, jumping from the bed despite his naked form.

The girl remained on the bed, seemingly frozen in shock as she watched the masked man force Damon against the wall, pinning his body to it with his machete before turning to his final victim, ignoring the blood that was dripping onto his feet.

“Please…” He expected her to beg for mercy, beg for him to not hurt her, but her response left him shocked. “Please kill me.” Tears leaked from her eyes as she begged him to end her life.

Jason hesitated, noticing how she had moved towards him, moving her hand to grip his last machete before placing it in his hand which she then lifted to hold the weapon to her chest. He was about to push it through her chest when his mother’s voice stopped him.

“Save her, Jason. Don’t hurt her.”

That was enough to prevent him ending her life, dropping his arm to his side.

The girl in front of him let out a sob at the realisation that she was still alive and it placed a heavy feeling in Jason’s chest, something he didn’t like.

“P-please!” Her voice was strained, and he assumed that she was trying to not completely break down, “Please kill me, I don’t want to be alive.” Her words trailed off gradually as she spoke, eyes casted downwards as tears slipped down her cheeks.

Jason shook his head, despite knowing that she couldn’t see him.

“W-why not?” She asked quietly, glancing up at the taller man.

“Comfort her.” His mother spoke again.

Jason did what his mother said, sitting beside the girl whilst making sure that she was unable to reach his weapon in case she tried.

He wrapped his arm around her, doing his best to unstiffen his body. He was, once again, shocked as she leant into him, beginning to sob into his shoulder.

“Please.” She whispered, tears soaking his jacket. “I can’t do this anymore.”

The dead body of the man causing her pain behind them was forgotten, Y/N relishing in the killers’ gentle touch, gentleness being something foreign to her. Even though he was tense, she still appreciated the man’s gesture and attempt at comforting her.

Jason shook his head, releasing her from his arm to stand up.

She watched as he held out a hand to the seated girl, one she gladly took and stood beside him. She felt an odd sensation in her chest as he led her outside of the cabin, leaving the body behind as she was taken to his cabin. The cabin where she would learn true happiness, where she would learn true love.

(Kinda wanna write another part on this to show their relationship grow, but I don’t know.)

[lynns-drawings]

MMMM YESSSSS ITS FINALLY DONE

I PROCRASTINATED MY ASSIGNMENTS JUST SO I COULD DRAW THIS ASJDHKASD

also it has occured to me that i still haven't shared her information and stuff so i'mma go do that now

[BASIC INFORMATION]

Height: 5’1 ft.

Age: 11 (prologue), 15 (current)

Weight: 138 lbs.

Name: Rin Honoyama

Birthday: April 21

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Ranking: Hinoto (early chapters), Pillar (current)

Breathe style: Breathe of Flames

Hobby: Sparring, bullying Inosuke lmfao

Nationality: Japanese

Ethnicity: Filipino

[RELATIONSHIPS]

Takashima Honoyama: Mother (Deceased)

Unnamed father: Father ugly >:( (Deceased)

Tanjiro Kamado: Friend

Nezuko Kamado: Enemies (Early chapters), Friend (Current)

Zenitsu Agatsuma: Friend, love interest in the current chapters 7w7

Inosuke Hashibira: sibling rivalry type beat, still in good terms though

Hana Fujiwara: Friend

Kyojuro Rengoku: Master, trainer, dad-figure

[PERSONALITY]

~~(Early chapters)~~

Rin gives off a cold and rude vibe to a stranger so many people are afraid to approach her. 

Which is fine because she feels like she’s better off alone anyway, she doesn’t want to lose another person she cared about like how she lost her mother.

She doesn’t like to think a lot so she immediately jumps into battle and decides to go with the flow. Rengoku scolds her for that rip

Really really stubborn, again she feels like she doesn’t need help from anyone. 

Also loud because of Rengoku’s influence on her, she sometimes yells without noticing the volume of her voice unless someone tells her.

She doesn’t know it, but she’s really touch-starved.

~~(Current Chapters)~~

Rin is now able to open up more easily to other people and is now more open about showing her emotions.

She now knows that she’s really touch-starved and she always wants Zenitsu’s affection all to herself, but again- she’s still stubborn and wouldn’t say anything about it 

That being said, she’s 100% tsundere, especially towards Zenitsu.

She’s now more chaotic as she spends more and more time with Inosuke, who is equally as chaotic as her. They are the human embodiment of Cursed

Easily flustered, we all know who causes that 7w7

She can be really sneaky and enjoys other’s getting tormented, she got that from Inosuke lmfao

[BACKSTORY]

Rin grew up in a rather abusive and poor household. She distracts herself from her home by often coming to her dojo where she trains her combat skills (Said dojo was the rivalry of Akaza’s dojo.). Her mother was the only person Rin cared about because her mother was the only one who showed her love and compassion unlike her yucky father >:((

Since she grew up in a family with not that much money, they live in a bahay-kubo (A small hut made with leaves and wood). Her father was the only one supporting the family so both Rin and her mother only have her father to rely on.

Which is a problem because her father is an asshole who spends their only money drinking and getting laid. Rin questions her mother why they ended up getting married.

What she doesn’t understand is why her mother is still in the house, living with an alcoholic bastard, when they can freely leave at their will.

‘nuff about that, One day while walking home from her dojo, she discovers that the town she was living in was attacked by demons. She quickly ran to her home only to find both her parents being eaten alive by a demon. She literally went ape shit and tried to take down the demon thanks to her d o j o s k i l l s. That apparently wasn’t enough because the demon is far too stronger than her. She was thankfully saved by Rengoku before she could be killed. 

Rengoku and Rin talked for a while after the incident. During the conversation, is when Rin learned about demons and that there is a demon slayer corps.

Rengoku somehow saw potential in her and offered her to be his tsuguko, to which she agreed.

[TRIVIA]

Rin has nyctophobia (fear of the dark) and she hates it because she thinks it makes her weak.

The reason for this is because she gets traumatized because it reminds her of the times her father would lock her out of the house at night whenever he gets drunk and leaves her there until morning.

Rin gained the scar on her cheek from the boiling water her father threw on her when she was little.

She loves watermelons, it’s basically her favorite food because her mother used to grow them.

She chomps on people that are usually taller than her to assert dominance. 

Rin and Inosuke bully each other on a daily basis. Despite that, they’re really good friends and she’s probably the closest to him. (Cue a very jealous Zenitsu)

[honey-dewey]

Loving You is a Losing Game

Pairing: Marcus Moreno/Reader

Word Count: 2,602

Warnings: Gore, loss of limbs/appendages, medical procedures, implied experimentation, big Reader whump, Marcus is depressed, this is 99% angst, I’m sorry in advance, I promise it has a happy ending. 

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Two weeks before he was going to propose to you, you disappeared from Marcus’s life. With no idea where you went or who took you from him, Marcus devotes himself to finding you, even if it costs him his life. Meanwhile, you’re struggling to keep alive in a cell, wishing you had your hero by your side. What must you lose to reunite with Marcus? 

A/N: An anon asked me to write some Reader whump with Marcus after I posted my Marcus whump, and boy oh boy did I deliver! I hope this satisfies you, anon, because I’m oddly proud of it.

Every second that passed was agonizing. Marcus was pacing up and down and up and down, waiting for Miracle Guy to return from his mission. To see if they’d caught sight of you.

You’d been gone from him for six months now. You’d missed his birthday, and Missy’s, and even your own. He’d been planning to ask you on your birthday, the ring heavy in his pocket even now. But you’d been taken, kidnapped by an unnamed threat that hadn’t shown itself again. He had been inconsolable for weeks, but dragged himself to work on the hope that one day there would be news. And today was that day. Or at least, he hoped it was.

“Marcus.”

Marcus looked up. Miracle Guy stood in front of him, worried, holding a piece of paper. A photograph. He surged forward, moved by instinct and instinct alone.

“It’s all we could find,” Miracle Guy said softly, handing over the photo. “They did DNA tests. It’s theirs.”

The photograph wavered dangerously as Marcus took in the contents. Three fingers, bloodied at the ends, lay on the pavement, the blood long since dried up into the ground. They were old.

“Marcus? Are you okay?”

Marcus shook his head. They had you. They’d injured you. They had no fear of hurting you. Would they kill you?

He looked up, vision blurry with tears and anger. “They’ll pay for this.”  

Marcus didn’t rest for days. He was fueled only by coffee, anger, determination, and fear. Even Missy, who had mourned your loss as much as he had, was worried for him. He was killing himself to find you.

Finally, he found a lead.

Well, technically someone else found it. A smashed VHS tape found near the fingers. It took Tech-No days to fix it properly, but when he did, no one liked what they heard.

There was no image on the tape. The camera had been angled towards the blank wall, the faded patterns of bricks grey and fuzzy. The sounds though. Oh god the sounds.

It started with suppressed sobs. Marcus clenched his fists, trying not to scream. That was you, sobbing, shuddering breaths so full of fear. Heavy footsteps entered the room, and your breathing picked up, racing quickly to full panic mode.

“No, please,” you begged, voice thin and weak. “Please!” You sounded desperate, and there were rough sounds, the sounds of skin on stone. A sliding noise, like metal on fabric, and then a sound so loud and shocking that everyone in the room jumped.

You screamed, high and bloodcurdling. Frenzy entered your voice as you shrieked and shrieked and shrieked. Marcus was frozen, the complete terror and pain you were conveying with a single noise making him incapable of movement. He vaguely registered someone throwing up behind him, but all he could focus on was your continued screaming.

Finally, the tape stopped, cutting off one of your screams. Tech-No stepped forward, a bit paler than he’d been before he showed the tape. “Given recent evidence, we can safely assume that tape was of them removing three of (Y/N)’s fingers.”

Whoever had thrown up heaved again, the sick splattering sounds tame in comparison to what everyone else had just heard.

Marcus was the first to speak. “We’re finding them. Right now.”

———

You had lost all sense of day and night, and your only indicator of time was when your single meal arrived. A metal tray shoved under a flap in the thick metal door. Your food was typically meager and rotten, but you ate like a man starved. Mostly because in the beginning you had been.

As you crawled towards the tray, the chains binding your thick leather collar to the wall clinking, you tried your best to keep the weight off your left hand. Two weeks ago, the cruel men who’d kidnapped you had cut three of your fingers off and left you with nothing to fix the bleeding stumps. You’d eventually resorted to ripping up a pant leg to bind your hand and staunch the bleeding.

Today’s meal was a few bites of stale bread and a quarter serving of stone cold soup. You kept pace in eating, knowing that scarfing it all down would result in vomiting. And in the first months, it had. Your cell still stank from how much you’d thrown up in there, but it was buried among the other smells. Not that you could even smell it now.

You drank half the water they gave you, and used the other half to wash out your hand. It was the first major injury they’d given you, and you’d tried to take care of you. Despite your tending and the daily washings out, the hand was swollen and red, the site of the injury a sick sort of yellow with spots that were actually turning brown. It was burning hot to the touch and oozed something that reeked, even in the disgusting cell. You’d be lucky if you’d be able to keep the hand. Hell, you’d be lucky to keep the whole arm at this point.

“I’ll be lucky if I don’t die here,” you said bitterly to yourself, ripping another long strip of fabric off your discarded pants with your teeth and slowly wrapping up your hand, biting back tears. The only fingers left were your index and thumb, and they didn’t look good.

When your body succumbed to exhaustion, you curled up on the threadbare mattress and used the single moth bitten blanket to preserve body heat. Sleep was easy and dreamless now, and you often woke at the smallest of sounds. Like the man walking past your cell every so often, maybe every half hour? You wished you had a watch. You wished you had many things. Shivering beneath your blanket, you curled closer into the corner and wished for Marcus.

Marcus was not there when your eyes opened. You woke up to the harsh scrape of the door opening and two men grabbing you to drag you out. You kicked and screamed, but it did nothing. The men were stronger than you, and in your starved state, you were too weak to do much more than flail.

A rough scrap of fabric was tied around your face, killing your vision. A second one followed quickly, sitting uncomfortably between your lips and silencing your voice. Your feet didn’t want to carry you, so the men did it for you, carting around your dead weight as if it were nothing.

Just as suddenly as they’d lifted you, the men put you down, and you whined as harsh lights filled your eyes when the blindfold was removed. You were at the start of a long white hallway, branches of the hall snaking out and around. Had they put you in a maze?

A harsh jolt around your ankle sent you shrieking, kicking your feet to attempt to dislodge the heavy ankle bracelet you wore. It didn’t move, and a sharper stab raced up your leg as you danced around like you were possessed.

Finally, you started to run, racing down pristine white corridors and working yourself dizzy. You unwrapped your hand, hoping the dripping blood and pus would help guide you, like a gory version of Theseus’s yarn. But all it did was confuse you until every hallway was filled with smeared bodily fluids and you had no way to turn.

You had no idea how long you were in the maze. Hours? Days? Time was irrelevant here. Whenever you tried to stop, to rest or to find reprieve from the stabbing pain in your feet, the ankle bracelet would shock you harder and harder until you moved again. The blinding lights never dimmed, and finally, finally, your body gave out.

The anklet shocked you once, twice, three times and then yet again for good measure. All you did was twitch, lying exhausted on the floor, the world underneath you spinning like an out of control carousel. “Marcus,” you croaked, your dying voice a harsh scrape in your throat. You hadn’t had water in hours, was it hours? Spots swam through your vision as two people in white coats came to collect you, putting your limp body on a stretcher and wheeling you away. You were tossed into a cell, this one whiter and lighter than your last one. You had no time to investigate the new room as one person, the woman, poured water down your throat while the other shackled you to the wall again. The woman checked your vitals and wrote down some numbers while the man used white bandages and soft gauze pads to cover the ruin of your left hand. You weren’t coherent enough to tell if he’d put any disinfectant on the wound, but you could guess that he didn’t. No one here was that kind to you.

“Rest,” the woman said, putting a hand on your head in what you assumed was her idea of comfort. “We’ll try it again later.”

You couldn’t even argue as your body shut down, plunging you into the darkness of your dreamless sleep.

When you woke, it was not to the scientists or the bad men. It was to faint gunfire and a large figure bursting into your new cell. You scrambled upright, immediately tossing your hands up to protect your face, knees hugged to your chest to make yourself small and heavy. But no blows came, no rough hands touched your skin. Only soft shuffled footsteps and labored breathing. Braving a peak, you saw a man silhouetted by light, the familiar outline of katanas over the person’s shoulders breaking your heart.

“Marcus,” you said weakly, uncurling. As your eyes adjusted and the door slowly began to close, you were able to take Marcus in fully. He looked a wreck, exhaustion written all over his face and a broken expression twisting his usually kind features. He fell to his knees, and you crawled forward to meet him, throwing yourself into his arms and letting yourself be wracked by sobs for the first time in months. Your malnourished and anemic body shook violently, but you had never felt more steady, cradled in Marcus’s embrace.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Marcus breathed, voice unsure and wavering.

You shook your head. You had no words, no ability to speak right now. Instead, you just pressed yourself tighter to him, tears ruining his shirt. You could barely register Marcus cutting through your collar and discarding it on the floor.

Marcus stood, cradling your broken body to his chest. He carried you out, past other heroes who all fell silent at your current condition. Marcus lay you down on a stretcher once you were outside and rode with you to the hospital, holding your unruined hand the entire time. You focused only on his grip, grounding yourself to it. You would be okay as long as Marcus Moreno was holding your hand.

The next few days were very fuzzy. You were in and out of an operating room, usually asleep and always drugged. After so long in pain, the gentle numbness of not being hurt was worrying. You had been right, half of your left arm had been too badly damaged to salvage. Below your left elbow now lay nothing, no hand to hold and no fingers to squeeze. Marcus held your right hand instead, pressing kisses into your palm and slowly running his thumb over your knuckles while he read.

Aside from the arm, your injuries had been few and far between. A couple scrapes that needed disinfectant, a broken rib that had healed incorrectly and needed surgery, and the rubbed raw skin of your neck that had been healed. You’d slowly begun to gain weight again, no longer skin and bones. Your hair, which had been greasy and matted, had been shorn off and was now regrowing. Your body had finally begun to rework its circadian rhythm, your sleeps lining up with the rise and fall of the sun.

Marcus took a breath beside you, his thumb absently circling over your index knuckle as he read. He’d been touching you in some way ever since you’d been found. Gentle hands touching yours while he watched TV, shoulders pressed together when he told you about Missy, the softest of kisses against your temples  when your head hurt. You smiled, turning to Marcus and blinking slowly. He’d been working for weeks to restore your smile, and now you had it back, albeit shaky and nervous.

“What’s that look for?” Marcus asked, turning to you, one corner of his mouth rising slightly in amusement.

Your grin only grew. “You,” you said. “I love you.”

Marcus leaned forward, turning so he was fully facing you. “The day you were taken,” he said softly, taking your right hand in both of his. “I was so scared. It was two weeks before your birthday, remember? And I had been bursting with joy, because we were going to spend the evening together, just you and me.”

“Marcus,” you interrupted quietly. “What are you saying?”

“Hush dear, indulge me,” Marcus insisted, moving one hand to trace his knuckles across the curve of your cheekbone. “That night, on your birthday, I was going to ask you something. Something that would’ve changed our lives forever. I’d spent months planning, making sure the night would be perfect, and then the universe stole you from me.”

You sighed, wishing you could cup Marcus’s face in your hands. Instead, you settled on resting your only hand on his right shoulder. He put his hand against yours, the warmth seeping into your skin. “Now,” he continued. “I wish I could ask you as easily as I had wanted to. This has all brought to light how precious you are to me. How much you make me happy. Darling, my light and my love, I want to be beside you forever, and I want you at my side. We will stumble, that I’m sure of, and there will be days where we will hate the very ground the other walks upon. But I’m willing to risk the fleeting bad for the abundant good.” He reached into his pocket and produced a slender ring made of twisted silver and shining gemstones. “Will you marry me?”

You had no words. Looking at Marcus, who was so sincerely pouring his heart out, you felt some kind of shame that you had no response except shock. Not shock that he was proposing, because you two had briefly talked about marriage. No, you were shocked at his emotion. His heart wrenching tone. The look of worry on his face as you sat there, silent.

It took a minute, but you finally managed to compose yourself long enough for a very strangled sounding “Yes.”

Marcus’s face brightened as you nodded, both of you tearing up. “Here,” he said, sliding the ring onto your ring finger. “It’s beautiful.”

You smiled, pulling Marcus close and hugging him as tight as you possibly could. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Marcus breathed, embracing you as firmly as you had him. “I’m so glad I get to say that to you again.”

The pair of you spent the rest of the day pressed against each other, Marcus getting into your bed with you as you drifted in and out of sleep. While he watched some horribly violent fantasy TV show, you dozed against his shoulder, the gentle hug of the ring on your finger a constant reminder that no matter what threats came your way, you would always have Marcus.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Ever stop to think about how fucking insane MC is?

Two of the brothers have admitted, to their face, to eating humans. To relishing it. They spoke about it with longing.

One of the brothers killed them, laughed over their corpse & was more than willing to kill the entire human race.

One of the brothers told them in graphic detail how he would rip out their heart.

Two of the brothers told them in graphic detail how they would rip them apart limb by limb.

Five of the brothers have nearly killed them.

One has threatened to kill them multiple times.

There is a high high chance.....................who am I kidding.....It's 100% guaranteed that all seven of the brothers have killed and eaten humans.

And MC gives 0 shits. They live with them, love them and consider them their family. I.....I don't think they'd care if the brothers were still actively killing humans. I think they'd actually pick the brothers over the lives of humans...

...They did pick the brothers over the lives of humans. Remember in S3 when a human pointed a gun at Belphie and they were able to summon fire, hot enough to melt a bullet, which then rushed towards the man? Even when Diavolo transformed to kill the man for daring to shoot Belphie, they were never concerned with Diavolo killing the man - either they agree with Diavolo and want revenge or they agree with Belphie and don't want to make more trouble for themselves.

They're also able to threaten to burn Little D No. 2 alive because he kept making too many chicken puns while in a chicken costume.

What the fuck is wrong with them?

I mean there's being chill and then there's not giving a fuck that the guy whose mouth you're sticking your tongue down regularly consumed human flesh at a point in his life

What the fuck is wrong with them?

Edit:

Lowkey devastated that people couldn't tell that as a monsterfucker & a person who is attracted to unhinged monsterfuckers this entire post was made out of a place of awe and lust

Anyway if you want a fic about this very concept, featuring unnamed gn! mc × mammon try -> Under the Gentle Rains

[holylulusworld]

Little chaos

Summary: Having you around means chaos.

Pairing: Mobster!Dean x Fem!Reader

Characters: unnamed OFC’s, Benny Lafitte

Warnings: angst, language, sassy reader, attempted kidnapping, bratty reader, pregnant reader, fluff, mentions of smut, implied smut

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

“Sours worms, my favorite chocolate bars, chocolate chip cookies, and my sweet Dean’s favorite Whiskey,” Benny chuckles at your words. No one would ever dare to call Dean Winchester, head of the Winchester empire sweet.

“Do you need anything else, chèr?” Benny looks around the crowded store. He didn’t like you wanted to drive to town to get more sweets. “Dean wouldn’t want you out here. Not while he tries to get Trenton’s piece of Lebanon.”

“Deano knows I like my sweets,” you coo. Benny knows you are a smart girl, clever even, but sometimes you sound like a clueless child. “We will be back before he can miss me.”

“Dean won’t like it,” you grin now. “Y/N, I mean it. We should hurry and head back before anyone can recognize Dean Winchester’s girl at a store.”

“Are you worried Dean will get mad or that a big bad guy will steal me?” chuckling Benny looks down at you. He likes your feisty personality, even your bad jokes but your behavior doesn’t make his job easier. “Don’t worry. If Dean gets mad, I’ll suck his dick and he’s nice again.”

“Jesus, girl,” looking around the store Benny tries to hide he’s embarrassed, “you can’t say things like that.”

“Why?” you innocently look up at Benny, not giving away you like to rile him up a little. “Don’t you like sex too? I bet you and your girl do dirty things too. You already know Dean likes to fuck me,” pointing at your five-months baby bump you grin at your bodyguard. “Now back to business. I need licorice for Sam.”

“We will get it and leave. No more shopping for today,” Benny insists. “Let me just get the rest of your list.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, dude,” crossing your arms over your chest you angrily glare at the man aiming a gun at the clerk’s head. All you wanted was to get some ice cream before driving back to Dean’s mansion. “I want ice cream, not a gun in my face, idjit.”

“You know my friend is aiming a gun to the back of your head – right?” the guy threatening the poor clerk spats. “Be good and follow us.”

“Listen, I got no clue what’s going on in the empty room you call your head, but I will for sure not follow you and your dumb buddy. Do you know who I am?” the man looks at his friend, confused as you don’t seem to be afraid at all. “I’m waiting, dude.”

“You are Dean Winchesters girl, pregnant with his child. That’s the reason we are going to take you with us,” the guy responds.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” you turn your attention toward the clerk who, by all means, is in no condition to follow your order. “I want vanilla ice cream, chocolate chip, and chocolate for my sweet bear.”

“Lady, we are about to kidnap you,” the guy behind your back grunts but you ignore him just like you did with his partner before. “Hands behind your back and be good.”

“I only put my hands behind my back for my Dean,” you smirk. “He licks my pussy in return, and we share some pie later. Now stop getting on my nerves.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” the guy aiming his gun toward the clerk’s head turns his attention toward you. He aims his gun at your belly, narrowing his eyes as he unlocks his gun. “Do as ‘C’ says.”

“Gosh, can you just not?” you groan, hating that guy ruined your shopping trip. “I tried to get ice cream, not headaches.”

“You recognized I am aiming a gun toward your unborn child – right?” you shrug, finally turning your attention toward the man threatening the life of your unborn child.

“I did, sweet cheeks. I hope you recognized there are cameras at the shop and that Dean will know who hurt or even killed his girl and his unborn son,” the man’s face falls when you move closer to grasp for the hand aiming the gun at your belly. “You can aim the gun at your head and blow it off right fucking now ‘cause my Dean will come after you and do bad things to you.”

“Dude, he never said something about bad things being done to me!” the other guy, or if you want to call him like that, ‘C’ exclaims. “I’m out of this shit show ‘B’. I will not die for Trenton.”

The man is gone before his partner can blink. “One gone, one left,” you muse. It’s not as if you want to die or would put your child in danger but people like ‘B’ and ‘C’ would eat you alive when you show weakness. You learned to never show emotions or fear while facing enemies the hard way.

“Do you really want to kill or harm Dean Winchesters girl?” you ask, never breaking eye-contact with ‘B’. “You can still get out of town before he goes after you. Dean always knows what’s going on in his territory. This means he’ll be here in no time.”

“This was a job,” ‘B’ walks backward the moment the door to the shop swings open. You don’t need to turn around to know it’s Dean who entered the shop. “I swear, I would’ve never hurt your girl or your child, Mr. Winchester. Please.”

“I want my ice cream, now,” you ignore Dean’s men drag the guy threatening you away nor do you turn around when his partner starts to scream. You got used to Dean’s business or that people are afraid of the man you love.

“Sweetheart, didn’t I tell you to stay at home and wait for me?” Dean sighs. His arms wrap tightly around your waist to place his hands onto your belly, slowly rubbing it. “You scared me there for a minute, baby girl.”

“I wanted sweets, ice cream and I got you your favorite pie. These guys are cuddly little kittens,” you snicker when Dean groans behind you. “I know you believe I can’t protect me or our baby, but I learned to defend myself. I didn’t need violence, only my sharp tongue.”

“Said tongue got you into trouble more than once, my little ‘chaos’,” you love the pet name Dean gave you after your first encounter eight years ago. “I still remember the way you begged me to stop fucking your tight little cunt behind that restaurant.”

Now he caught your attention. “It was you begging me to let you take me home if I recall right, Mr. Winchester,” whilst you turn around to face Dean his men ‘take care’ of the men who tried to kidnap his pregnant girlfriend. “I came so hard.”

“Baby, this is not the place to discuss your misbehavior from back then with me,” using his ‘mobster boss’ tone Dean looks down at you. “Let’s go home, sweetheart.”

“Only if you admit it was you begging me,” poking your finger into Dean’s chest, just like you did back then you smirk.

“Jesus, Y/N. You ran into me at that restaurant and argued it was my fault I spilled my drink over your flimsy dress. It was you riling me up,” Dean grunts, cock swelling in his pants at the memory.

“It was your fault, Sir,” you hiss. “I tried to leave the restaurant as my date was a boring douche. You ran me over. After I clarified it was your fault, you followed me outside, dragged me behind the restaurant, and ripped my panties down my cute ass.”

“It’s a nice ass,” Dean dips his head to press a soft kiss to your sweet spot. “You moaned my name seconds later when I got my fingers into that cunt of yours. It was you begging me to fuck you like the dirty little slut you are for me.”

“I got pressed against the wall, your cock slid home and I didn’t get the chance to deny you,” the mobster groans at your lie. “I was helpless. You were strong, tall and your dick so deep inside of me I thought I ended up in heaven – cock heaven,” you giggle when Dean makes a face. “You held me against the wall and fucked me like no other guy before.”

The clerk of the ice cream shop tries anything to no listen to your conversation. The boy awkwardly shifts from one foot to the other, praying Dean won’t end his life for listening to your conversation.

“Little minx,” god, you love the dark grin on Dean’s lips, “I dare you to lie again. I can still slap your ass, Y/N.”

“You would like to do so, wouldn’t you?” you cock your head, grin mirroring Dean’s. You are shameless, even in front of strangers. One hand moves to Dean’s crotch and you just love how he growls low in his throat.

“Y/N don’t tempt me to take you here in front of that poor guy. I will show him your naughty little pussy. Fuck you deep and hard enough to make you scream my name or beg me to stop – but I won’t stop.”

“I wouldn’t say no but, we need to head home. I’m hungry,” you sigh. “Your son will eat me alive if you don’t feed the little beast inside my belly. That’s the reason I wanted to go shopping, Dean.”

“My girl was hungry?” Dean slings one arm around your shoulder. “We need to feed the wild beast I call my girl,” you giggle, loving Dean can go full angry alpha one moment and be soft only seconds later.

“I’m sorry, Dean. Benny said I shall wait in the car,” you look at Benny, who hangs his head, not meeting Dean’s gaze. He disappointed his boss, his friend, and almost got you hurt or worse. “It was not his fault. I sneaked out to get ice cream.”

“It was his job to watch over your, Y/N,” Dean searches his friend’s face, knowing Benny fears he disappointed his friend more than death. “I will let it slip this once as you are an untamable brat mixed with chaos.”

“Love you,” you wrap your arms around Dean’s neck. “Please don’t be mad at Benny. You should know I can’t be trusted,” snickering Dean pecks your lips, knowing all too well you are a chaotic dumbass sometimes. “I know that I should stop myself sometimes. I just couldn’t.”

“Let’s go home, my little chaos. I want to fulfill my promise,” whistling you grasp for Dean’s hand to rush toward the car. “I mean it. I’ll slap your ass one day.”

“I know and I can’t wait for you to do so, baby.”

“Look at my girl Benny,” Dean smirks watching you talk to his brother. “I know she can be a handful. Next time she tries to sneak out, just tell me so. I will tame my little chaos.”

“I’m sorry, chief,” Benny sighs deeply. “I thought I can handle her. She promised to stay in the car while I get the pie she wanted. I was away for like two minutes and she was gone.”

“Sammy got me the book I was talking about,” showing Dean the book you sigh as he’s busy scolding you for running off on your own. “Yes, Sir. I’ll stay at home and bore myself to death.”

“Y/N, this isn’t funny, okay. The guys, they got scared off, but next time, you could end up dead, just like our son,” Dean runs one hand over your hair, gently patting your head. “I love you and don’t want to lose you or my baby, little chaos.”

“Love you too, big grumpy mobster boss,” grinning you hide your face in Dean’s chest. “I promise to not run off on my own again. I swear on your dick if you want me to.”

“Sweetheart, what did I say about talking about anything involving certain body parts in front of other people?” you need to hold back a snort. Dean can be such a prude in front of others whilst being a kinky bastard in the bedroom.

“No talking about your dick, got it, Mr. Winchester, Sir,” this time you chortle. Dean groans as you can’t stop your mouth most of the time. “I get it, baby. You don’t want anyone to know you’ve got the largest dick I ever had.”

“Chief, I’m, you know-” Benny stammers. His cheeks are shades of pink when he walks out of the room, mumbling something about checking on the car.

Watching Dean check on the windows you sigh deeply. You didn’t recognize there is war going on out there.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I know that I acted foolish and selfish today. I promise to not pull such a stunt again. I don’t want you or one of your men to get hurt. I love you.”

“Love you too, my little chaos,” you smile when Dean lies next to you. He opens his arms to let you snuggle into his chest. His warmth makes you feel calm in no time. There is something about the dangerous man making you feel safe. “I know this is a difficult time for you. Being pregnant and stuck in the mansion must be boring, but I want to keep you safe.”

“I know,” lifting your head you gently pat Dean’s cheek. “I will not risk my life for ice cream again, baby.” Dean hums when you peck his chin. “Now cuddle me, my big bad mobster.”

Dean loves it when you show him your softer, vulnerable side. No one gets to see this side of your personality. Your façade is a well-built construct, created by pain, fear, and betrayal.

“I love you, Dean. No matter what people call you, you are my savior…”

SPN Forever Tags

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--------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

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[lifeofclonewars]

Rookies rewatch! Aka let's cry about Domino Squad!

Everything about this starting scene is perfect. Hevy and Cutup arm wrestling, the radio station, brand new tattoos and the start of them growing out their facial hair, Echo being a lil nerd *sigh* we had it all for all of 3 minutes *shakes fist* screw you Filoni!

Cutup's little smirk when Echo says "shouldn't you be checking your scope, Hevy?" Lol that's definitely why he got his name

Even O'Niner's eyebrows are grey goodness what kind of stress has he been under the war's only been happening for like 6 months max at this point

Ah, yes, back when Obi Wan and Anakin had a little bit of sense and still wore armor

My favorite line out this has gotta be "Oooo meteor shower" and I love that the subtitles on Disney+ specify that he's saying it sarcastically

Rip unnamed deck officer

Me, watching Droidbait die: how do I AU this so he's fine and alive

Droid, impersonating a clone: Roger Roger. Rex: Something's not right here... Wow what a conclusion Rex, that's not obvious at all

Cody, immediately afterwards: let me show off my older brother vibes and make Rex in charge bc I don't want to

Okay so there's that one post about Obi Wan having fluttery eyelashes but apparently that's just,,,how they animate eyelashes bc I've noticed them on all the clones that get close ups

It's the og Domino Effect gif live!

"Yeah I've never seen--" right as Cutup gets taken how dare CUTUP NOOOO again, me: how do I AU this (but in a way that makes sense and isn't overused)

The disguised droid, waving its arms around: yeah, I think this is how humans talk

Where did that flare come from and how did you manage to have it on you when literally escaping? It's either Hevy or Fives tho so it checks out

Wait no favorite line might be "Woah, Rex, what the heck are you doing?" Cody ily

I still can't get over the fact that he says sun bonnets Rex whyyy

"the name's Rex" *cue The Clones theme in the background rjfjfjdj*

Camera: *close up on Echo* Me: I love him, your honor

I would love to see this episode with the new animation models. Seeing Cody and Rex and Fives, Echo, and Hevy smiling and all the little gestures they've been able to show with it? I'd straight up die of mostly happiness I love them so much

"tweezers" rjfjfjdjfjfjfjfj the script writers for this episode were just like "what if we had Rex say a bunch of what might be clone slang and then never mention it again?"

"this is never gonna work" Cody says, right as it works, in front of a bunch of shinies who could end up in either battalion at this point, solely because he's regretting putting his little brother in charge

Did they kill off Droidbait and Cutup so early bc it made sense or bc they didn't want to animate more than 5 clones with distinct personalities at a time at this point? Hmm methinks it's the second one...

Hevy's, Fives' and Cody's eyes all go wide at the same time when Rex is like "let's blow this place up" lol Cody's probably having flashbacks to the however many missions the 212th has had with the 501st already and calculating how many of them have included explosions

...I just realized part of the intro-scenes to Clone Cadets is a close up of a table with their helmets on it in the background as they plan to blow up the base :(

Fives insisting they need to go back for Hevy before Hevy tells them otherwise :( :(

I might be wrong but Echo might be the last one to try to contact Hevy before... #explosionbuddies 😭😭😭

Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh they set a heartbeat in the background right before the droid says "do we take prisoners" and stops right before Hevy says "I don't" I'm srsly going to cry 😭

What Rex says: You're exactly the kind of men I need in the 501st. What I hear: too late, you're my little brothers now and you can't stop me I fought Cody for this

Arc Troopers next, yes?

[of-fire-and-light]

Headcanon: origins (for... all the muses, I guess!)

[Oooh okay anon, thank you! This got long so it's under a cut...

OKAY SO. My muses are from original G1, so the canon for their origin is that Galvatron, Cyclonus and Scourge, and the Armada and Sweeps were created by Unicron from Megatron and the dead or dying remains of various other Decepticons - including but possibly not limited to Skywarp, Thundercracker, and either the Insecticons themselves or a handful of spare Insecticlones. The Dis, canonically unnamed at the time, was pulled from somewhere in Unicron's pockets and given to Galvatron as his flagship. Anything beyond that is open to speculation.

So, for my guys whether in fic or RP, this is just how I personally fill in the details. First of all, Unicron deciding to make himself a Herald and a strikeforce was an impulse decision when he found some of Primus's creations conveniently floating in his path; my theory is that Unicron didn't actually know much about making people, having never considered spawning creations of his own before. So he had to reverse engineer Primus's handiwork to figure out how, and he lied to, or certainly tactically misled, Megatron in order to get hold of his body, his power, and his blueprints intact. He would've told him anything, and meant none of it; he just wanted to persuade Megatron to concede access to all that information, rather than risking him self-destructing or similar if Unicron had tried to forcibly take it.

That much achieved, Unicron then harvested data, blueprints, and materials from all the 'Cons he'd gotten his claws on, used the inspiration and information from the gathered files to design his new strikeforce, and then the salvaged raw materials plus whatever else he had on hand to actually build them. Thus, fandom discourse notwithstanding, my headcanon is that Cyclonus, Scourge, and their corresponding drones cannot meaningfully be said to be "made from" anyone in particular. Sure, you could take them apart down to their molecular structure and identify which atoms were once part of whom, but there'd be no obvious pattern or purpose in the results. You might be able to trace bits of Cyclonus's flight coding back to Skywarp if you compared them line by line, but his cruelty and talent for psychological manipulation could equally well have been ripped out of Bombshell. Unicron just broke the dead Seekers and Insecticons apart like old Lego kits, and built his own custom designs without thinking twice about what he was taking from whom.

But those other 'Cons were dead anyway by then, nothing but useful scrap. Megatron was alive and talking and his mind, if not his body, was still fully functional. So in order to extract maximum value out of this one incredibly powerful and strong-minded individual, Unicron put all of Megatron's memories and files into a set of backup databanks, and installed those in parallel with the new directives, databases, and personality coding he created for Galvatron. Galvatron would thereby receive what amounted to a cognitive jump-start: immediate unfiltered access to all Megatron's experience, judgement, cunning and drive, and, of course, pathological hatred of Autobots.

But he couldn't continue to be Megatron, because that would require him keeping Megatron’s spark. And Unicron couldn't very well leave a shard of Primus lodged in his Herald's chest to conflict with his own power and directives... and so his final betrayal was to rip out Megatron's spark and throw it away. Galvatron, Cyclonus and Scourge all then received new sparks: tiny offcuts of Unicron's own, just as Cybertronian sparks are little pieces of Primus, aligning their core instincts and emotional paradigms with Unicron’s and cementing his control over them on the deepest possible level.

And then he gave them the Dis, designing and building it on the spot using assorted ship blueprints he'd found in the 'Cons' memories and the reserves of raw materials in his own holding tanks and internal furnaces, and sent them all out to go and do their thing for him. Cyclonus and Scourge were pretty much blank slates at this point, just accepting the reality they'd awoken into and largely controlled by Unicron's slave-coding; but Galvatron initially had a bit of trouble separating himself from Megatron, because while he could intuitively feel the difference, he also remembered "being" Megatron and there were a lot of those memories. Of course, he immediately started archiving new memories under the identity of "Galvatron" - and the trauma of having Unicron's control ripped out of his mind at the end of the Movie, followed by his time in a hot tub plasma pit on Thrull, was a sufficiently defining set of life experiences that by the time he was found again by Cyclonus and Scourge, he was certain that he was Galvatron, and had a sense of self completely disconnected from Megatron's residual identity. (He still has Megatron's memories if he needs to refer to them, but he doesn't do so except in desperation because he really hates feeling even briefly like someone he knows he isn't. Besides which, he has some pretty major ideological and emotional differences from Megatron, and the cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable.)

Random consequences of all of this include:

- The Unicronians kinda have... opposing spark polarity to Cybertronians. In mundane contexts it doesn't affect anything much, but, eg, if Galvatron entered a consecrated temple of Primus he'd feel like a demon trying to stand on holy ground - he might be able to do it, but it really wouldn't be comfortable for him. Regular Cybertronians instinctively feel creeped out and uneasy around the Unicronians even though they usually can't articulate why, and anyone with significant spiritual affinity or training would outright recognise them as Unicron-spawn pretty much on sight.

- They're simultaneously violently allergic to the Matrix because it was created as a weapon against the very power their sparks are made from, and magnetically drawn to it because Unicron programmed them to hunt it down and it radiates "this thing is delicious, try to eat it" to their instincts on a literally spiritual level. In most of my 'verses, Galvatron has managed to precariously but effectively resolve this conflict of interest by nibbling on Rodimus Prime whenever he gets the chance. Rodimus sees no downside to this.

- The sparks of Megatron, Skywarp, Thundercracker etc have all returned safely to the Allspark by now. If anyone were to attempt to summon or contact their spirits, it would be possible to do so, and there would be literally no collateral effect on the Unicronians other than them probably freaking out about ghosts if they heard about it.]