#rikers gonna rike

[live-long-and-suck-it]

I went to the Brothers v Guardians baseball game yesterday and this sign clearly says “no Rikering”

[festival-of-pudding]

this is like the first paragraph of every self-insert fic I wrote at age 14

Thank you, Ensign Pudding. I'm alright. Are you sure, Commander? Yes, I.... *stares* I never noticed how bouncy and shiny your ponytail is. You are very smart and interesting and not like the other ensigns. You know, Counselor Troi and I aren't officially going together right now...

[theesirenteller]

Who's The Savior?

Manny, Mayans Mc X OFC

"Bunny, You alright there sweetheart?!" Tanner called out from across the desert. The ex-navy seal stood at the staggering height of six feet and four inches tall, with shaggy chestnut-brown hair, a Greek god-like chiseled build, and a babyish face that was fresh of any facial hair. One of the Mayans stood in front of him with the end of an AK-47 pressed against the back of his curls.  "Alright, you got our girl and we got your guy. Bring us the girl now!" Ordered Riker, A heavily tattooed blonde with wild, piercing blue eyes. His sun-kissed skin was covered in thick layers of ink. Toned and Muscular but not nearly as buff as his best friend. He had platinum blonde hair that was cut short into a sleek back mohawk. His trigger finger itches to unload his M4-carbine into the low lives before him, "Give her to us you fucks!" "Y-yes! I'm okay! Just be cool guys please," She called out with teary eyes and a pleading tone as she stood behind Manny. The tall and lanky male rested his hand against her shoulder as he led her to them. His touch sent unexplainable shivers down her spine. He provided her with this unspeakable security.  "Don't shed no more tears, muñeca, everything's gonna be alright."He whispered raspily and Bunny slowed down her shaky breaths.  "Thank you, Manny." She said in a soft tone that held a delicate whisper to it. His warm hand only squeezed her shoulder in response. Tanner nudged the captive Mayan forward as soon as Bunny was in arm's reach. Bunny went rushing into Tanner's arms and hugged him by the waist tightly. His large hand patted her back and gripped her waist with one of his hands despite holding his gun in the other.  "Fucking wetbacks," Riker seethed before he had unleashed the bullets from his gun. The thought of them doing anything to His and Tanner's girl caused an animalistic rage to boil within him. The man wasn't a stranger to using Mexicans as target practice either. He'd done horrific things to them in his military days and wanted to do worse now. Tanner followed along with his friend and shot forward until Bunny intercepted. "NO! No Riker stop!" Bunny screamed in horror as she watched the Yuma men drop. Without giving her actions much thought, she rushed in front of Manny who had dropped.   "Bunny what the fuck?!" "Get the hell up and away from him, woman!"  "No!" she cried as she sat on her knees beside him. He'd been shot in his knees and shoulders. "This is wrong!  He protected me, He's got a child to go home to for Christ's sake! You can't kill him! I won't let you." Both men gripped their guns tightly as they looked from her to one another. Silently debating with their eyes. "Tanner please…" Bunny pleaded with her more reasonable lover. "Alright sugar," The brunette sighed before shaking his head and slowly began lowering his weapon, "Put it down, Rike." "Fuck." Riker spat in annoyance before lowering his weapon, "Looks like it's your lucky day wetback." he smirked down at Manny, sinisterly. Despite coughing up blood and wheezing, Manny's eyes were stuck in a cold glare towards the redneck. "I'm so sorry, "Bunny whispered as she placed her hand against his cheek. The rumbling of motorcycle engines could be heard in the distance getting closer and closer. The pair held eye contact for a few lingering moments before the plump woman was snatched up by her blonde-haired lover and thrown over his shoulder. "Time to go princess," Riker announced as he pushed her into the backseat of the Jeep. "Move out! They're getting close." Riker hollered as he sent shots into the air in an attempt to prologue how close the Yuma biker gang was getting. Tanner did as told, placing his foot harshly on the gas pedal, and sped off through the desert. 

And months after the events of that weekend happened, Manny couldn't help but let his mind wander off to the bubbly, free-soul, beautiful brown-skinned brunette that saved him. Even when he was safely home with his daughter and family, he wondered how she was. If she was okay, how she looked, and most of all...He wondered if her lips felt as soft as they were when they'd kissed the night before the trade-off. What he didn't know was that she thought of him as well.

[festival-of-pudding]

when I tell you I screamed

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S7 Watchthrough Episodes 2-5

Liasons: Picard crashes on a planet and is helped by a woman whow as stranded… and she’s just a little unhinged. This is essentially the ST version of Stephen King’s Misery. You know, the story where the obsessed fan kidnaps her favorite author after he getsinto an accident and nurses him bck to help, but turns out to be an utter psychopath? Yeah it doesn’t get quite as horrific, but the sentiment is there. So it was alright, at least for most of it. The Enterprise plot is alright, Worf dealing with an annoying alien and just wanting to strangle him is amusing. Not much to note otherwise. The Picard plot… along with the Misery parallel, it feels like All Our Yesterdays from TOS if Zarabeth had been faaar more unhinged and tried to force herelf on Spock instead of how it actually happened. There’s a plot twist with this one… and while I won’t give it away, it makes the entire thing utterly horrible. The concept is interesting, but the most I can say is that at least they emphasized that forcing yourself on someone is wrong, although the one responsible got off extremely light. But all I’m goign is ‘…why didn’t you just ask to know what you needed ot know instead of doing… this?!’. So yeah… not one I’m keen on looking at again. 2/5.

Interference: A Starship has gone missing along with its captain… who is Geordi’s mother. This happens just as they are testing a neural interface connected to a probe that makes Geordi feel as though he’s actually there. During one of the tests he encounters, to his shock, his mother. God, I feel so bad for Geordi in this. While everyone, including his father, assumes his mother is dead, because there’s no evidence of it Geordi refuses to believe it but it’s clear that this has hit him hard. He’s upset when a memorial service ges planned, keeps pressing with his job, and when Data offers comfort he tries to deny it until admitting that he does. It’s all very understandable and when he finds even a slimmer of hope, he takes it even when it means breaking regulations. But can we blame him? Honestly, it annoys me that everyone just assumes that Geordi is wrong because he’s upset. Several times they took these things seriously and at least looked into them, like in Remember Me and The Quality of Life. Aside from safety concerns with the interface, which is justified as it can cause legit harm to Geordi, the fact that they won’t even investigate the possibility just feels OOC. Still, it was a fine episode. Certainly one of Geordi’s better focuses episodes since there’s no forced love interest where he never learns. I won’t give away the ending but it is a bittersweet one. Also due to the interface, LeVar Burton gets to go without the VISOR and contacts for a while, so that must have been a relief for him XD 3/5

Gambit: Another two-parter alreadt? You’d think they’d wait at least more than two episodes, but whatever. Let’s see what we got.

Part One: Picard is dead… okay yeah no he’s not, but the crew presume him dead after investigating. Riker is Hellbent on making the ones who caused his captain’s ‘death’. Yeah it kinda loses some dramatic impact since unless your name is Tasha Yar, you know that they ain’t gonna kill one of the leads so anyone watching this can already figure out that Picard’s alive. Fortunateley they seemed to know that and don’t play it out for very long. I question Riker’s more vengeful reaction, but it’s moot as he gets kidnapped by mercenaries. Thus Data is left in command of the Enterprise while Riker is forced to work on-board the bad guys ship… and finds Picard also working for them. The mercenaries are after some Romulan artifacts, so we have Picard and Riker infiltrating the ranks (Picard having created a whole new identity/persona for himself while solo) while the rest follow suit. It was an alright eppisode, it does it’s job welle nough. it feels like we had some good potential with a psyche out death from Picard and Rike wanting to avenge him. Even with The Best of Both Worlds at least the posisbility they could save Picard was there. But the way they did go works and we have a mystery with the artifacts. Solid first part, but we’ll see in Part 2 can uphold it. 3/5.

Part Two: So those Romulan artifacts? As it turns out… they’re Vulcan. The artifacts can form a weapon known as the Stone of Gol, which was created pre-Surak and can let Vulans use their telepathy to kill those with violent thoughts. Yeah… you can probably tell why the current logical Vulcans wouldn’t want that used. I would say they probably should have destroyed them since that seems the most logical option, but I guess this works too… anyways! It seems like Picard and Riker may have some help as one of the mercinaries is a Vulcan woman named T’Paal posing as a Romulan who is investigating due to a group of Vulcan extremists seeking it. Holy crap, a Vulcan extremist movement? That is an awesome plot point! We don’t get much unfortunateley cause plot, but the closest we ever got to this was with Sybok in The Final Frontier so I’m still glad to have it included! As far as the episode goes… it’s fine. It really gets good enar the end when the mercenaries get on the Enterprise, get the artifact, Picard fakes Riker’s death to get him back witht he crew, and Picard provokes a mutiney against the mercenary leader whose been forcing the rest to work for him. But there is one more twist. As per usual I won’t give it away, but lt’s just say that the’s one other Big Bad within the ranks. The fiirst half was kind of meh, though I liked Data being in command with Worf as his Number One and the two having to work the dynamic out. But once we get the artifacts all together? That’s when things got exciting. Lke I said I wisht here had been more with this Vulcan extremist movement, but still pretty good all in all. The final scene got a good giggle out of me XD 3.5/5.

Overall: It was a decent two-parter. Like I said, I think they should have waited a bit before doing another two-parter, but still fine. The infiltration plot is fun and Picard was at his absolute best. It was fun to have a villainos Vulcan as well, especially apparently she was played by the second actress for Saavik. That’s an effective way to use a returning actor haha! There were a good few parts where it dragged and it feels like with some tweaking they could have made this a regular hour episode. Also the Stone of Gol, while it has an interesitng cocnept… doesn’t really do much damage since Picard figured out the weakness quickly. It’s pobably the weakest two-parter in the series just because it’ nowhere near as exciting, provoking, or even as entertaining as some of the others were and did pretty much nothing on a character development front. It’s still fun and the plot works, it just both feels stretched and like it wasted some really cool opprotunities. Like rewrite it so that the Enterprise works with a Vulcan to find these artifacts and lies thaty they’re Romulan, the Vulcan turns out to be an extremist, use it to do some more exploration on Vulcan culture and the ramifications of the logic-based society that The Final Frontier kind of brought up (maybe this movements was even inspired by Sybok if we go the ‘emotions over logic’ route), and Picard has to piece it all together while implying a potenial major Vulcan conspiracy going on. The mercenaries are ultimateley irrelevant at the end of the day, so you can easily write them out. Still, it was fine. it’s at least watchable and had some fun moments. 3.5/5.

[sttngfashion]

True Q - 6.06

Oh, Q, you rake, you scalawag. You’re so mischievous that you’ve snuck into one of these mostly-unis episodes like the scoundrel you are. Also I believe this episode title, much like Return of the King, contains a spoiler within the title. But we’ll get there.

“Don’t even try to out cheekbone me, girl. I’ll eat you for lunch.” —Bev

This blondie is Amanda Rogers (and boy does she look like an Amanda Rogers), and she’s an... intern? She’s 18 years old and is eventually supposed to go to Starfleet Academy but has somehow beat out a bunch of other youngsters for the opportunity to work on the Enterprise before she goes to study. She’s perky and a know-it-all and wears colors that must have been picked out by a girl who grew up idolizing Glinda the Good Witch. She’s rocking that square neck that we’ve seen before, but it’s doing a weird thing with that waffle undershirt she’s wearing, and I’m not convinced any of these colors works with her skin tone. 

RIKER, SHE IS EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Get out of her personal space.

Riker is showing her her quarters which, to be fair are pretty lush for someone who should be preparing for the horrors of dorm life. On the other hand this room is definitely not meant for youngsters.

Yes that is a tall skinny bottle of curaçao with matching glasses on the coffee table.

Anyway, after Riker is all up in her personal space, he leaves Amanda alone and suddenly... puppies appear. No, really.

Is it just me or is she wearing Jellies?

Who cares, PUPPOES! They are so floppy and foldy and adorbz central. (Side note: that desk chair is def from Staples.)

Behave? More like BeeHIVE, amirite?

I don’t really understand what is happening here as for most of the rest of the show her hair looks normal. Maybe her hair just got excited by the PUPPOOES!

So after these puppies mysteriously appear, she tells them to disappear, and they do, though kind of reluctantly. And that’s the end of the Teaser. That’s right: after the last puppy disappears, we get the DRAMATIC MUSIC because DISAPPEARING PUPPIES. I may have guffawed.

Okay, plotdump: later on, Amanda saves Riker from getting bonked on the head by a falling barrel or something, and then after that, stops a warp core breach with her hands. WHAAAAAT? Also, this is hand motion she makes when she saves Rikes.

Oooh, I love shadow animals! What is it... an elephant?

Anyway, because this GIRL has magically SAVED THE WHOLE GODDAMN SHIP there needs to be a MEETING.

“Her hooters were like, this big.” —Geordi

Sorry, sorry, I’m being base. Have Deanna’s eyebrows always looked like they were made out of smoke?

Obviously though, this meeting is dumb because we know who’s behind this.

Who decided to design the conference room chairs with an omnipotent douchebag recline setting?

I mean, you gotta give John de Lancie his due: no one can do all-powerful schmuck quite like he can. But he’s only wearing his “I’m crushing so hard on you, Picard” command red uni, so blah.

How’s the rest of the senior staff feel about Q’s arrival?

From left to right: not having it, pissed, I can’t believe this, are you kidding me, and uuugggghhhhhhhh

Everyone is earning their episode rate in this shot, but Beverly and Geordi are owning it.

So it turns out that this girl is Q, but Q has been sent to find out if she is TRUE Q. I think if she’d turned out not to be, the episode would be called True Q? or Untrue Q or FALSE Q. But you know now how it’s going to end.

Still, we have to go through the motions.

Okay, Q, now you’re really in her personal space.

I suppose there might be some perfect metaphor of discussing Q-privilege but frankly I don’t think I’m smart enough to do it.

OH NO NOT THE DECORATIVE PLATE AND BOWL!

Also it’s amazing the extent to which this is clearly a stunt double. Also also: no more decorative spotlight on the artifacts. The computer was able to sense what was coming, I guess.

I can’t remember exactly what happens here but Gates just looks so awesome and sassy that I had to put it in.

Sorry guys, it’s a low-fashion episode. Oh, but hey, here’s a fashion!

Ghost Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamsweater.

It’s hard to make out exactly what’s happening here, but as best I can see, from left to right again: block gray, block plum, block grape, block grilled peach, block mocha, AMAZING SWEATER OF ALL YOUR MOST BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL DREAAAAAMMMZ. 

These are Amanda’s parents, who it turns out were Q also? I can’t remember what the release of information is like in this episode but basically the Q Continuum MURDERED Amanda’s parents because they wanted to live in Nebraska or something. Which, like, that’s not nice, but also... Nebraska? They were killed by a freak tornado which was engineered by the Q but also IT COULD HAPPEN.

In other news, I have four nostrils and this one dope chain.

Also, this individual has Bea Arthur’s hair. I am 100% not mad at it.

Oh man, I’m really murdering the plot of this ep... these people need help of some sort and Amanda and Q are NOT HELPING. There’s a whole thing where Q wants to take Amanda on Q lessons and so they speed up some experiment that Bev has Amanda doing, but that ruins the experiment or something? I wanted to be like “listen, Q, either you’re doing omnipotence wrong or the writers are” but I love this show so I kept quiet.

What’s Q lessons mean, btw?

WE’RE STANDING ON THE BACK OF THE SHIIIIIIIP

So this is one of those shots that I have basically remembered pretty much exactly since childhood because WHAAAAAAAAT. Looking at it now I’m skeptical as to whether they’ve gotten the scale right, but I guess they’re Q so they can be big as they wanna be or whatever.

Speaking of other things they want.

Welcome to my weird Pride and Prejudice fantasy, complete with gazebo

I mean, everyone is entitled to their own fantasy, but you are wearing lacy pink things and the strangest tartan belt ever seen, and your hair seems to be fashioned after those vines growing up alongside that latticework. Who’s your Mr. Darcy?

WORLDS COLLIDING

Where to start? The velour jacket is great, but the fancy lapelwork there is something I’d more expect to see alongside the jacuzzi that Lwaxana Troi and Worf’s son Alexander were hanging out in. Really the only thing that’s okay about this scene is how uncomfortable Rikes looks in it.

Of course, since the first scene with Riker and Amanda we’ve all been feeling that if anyone is feeling some kind of way about anybody, it’s Riker for Amanda (ew). Still, though, he does the this is not appropriate routine, until she realizes the full potential of her Q-ness and makes him fall madly in love with her.

Disclaimer: I am a gay man. But what is happening to her breasts.

I mean, that just cannot be comfortable. Also, bless Frakes for being like “well, I guess the script calls for me to get all up on this 18 year old.” Anyway, she knows that it’s not real so is not into it. Unanswered question from the episode: DOES RIKER REMEMBER ANY OF THIS?

Okay, so basically it comes down to: does Amanda stay and finish her internship or does she go with Q to join the Continuum and basically become a god? Let’s take a look at Amanda one week after her internship starts:

This job has destroyed me

So first of all, why she gotta always wear unitards with weird textured minidress operations on top? Second of all, though, at least this color is not quite so bubble-gum flavored. This is a lima bean and overdone spinach combination here, which, okay, not super appetizing, but at least she doesn’t look like she just jumped off the Candyland gameboard. Also, those tendrils of hair! That’s how you know she is not playing around anymore.

This planet is burnt

Listen, you guys, some other stuff happens, but I had several glasses of wine while watching FEUD so I’m just gonna wrap it up with this little side-by-side: this is the planet 4-nostrils Bea Arthur was from and that the Enterprise was trying to help, and Q is basically like “Amanda, if you can stop using your Q powers then you don’t have to come be part of the Continuum, oh but here’s a planet with a whole lot of people that are about to die, SHRUG.”

I mean, of course she saves it. The show didn’t have enough budget for an intern character.

UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL GO BE A GOD.

Still, she gotta say goodbye.

“Good luck girl, but don’t ever come for me the way Q comes for Jean-Luc. Because I will own you so hard.” —Bev

Have a great week, everybody! 

[forty-fourr]

snow didn’t even realize that she had left so many voicemails on riker’s phone. normally she was able to handle her liquor a lot better but obviously today had been different. things got a little too out of hand. when riker popped up at her door looking concerned she held her arms up from him, pulling her leg up onto the top of the table where she’d been sitting down. “rike you came to party with me! you’re gonna be my new year’s kiss yeah?” 

@lovclikewar

[nearlyheadlessbrit-blog]

i...think i have to get it. 

i'm looking into investing in audiobooks because of traveling back and forth to work, and THIS is available for purchased, NARRATED BY FRAKES. 

[nearlyheadlessbrit-blog]

Day 5. 

OMG. There is a disturbance in the force. A change of scenery, and something written on my hand. So, I didn't go to the gym. But I took the picture in my bedroom. You can even see my mini-poster shrine to Star Trek in the background. And a reminder that YOU GOTTA PAY RENT, FOOL.