#right what the FUCK the characters say its your JOB literally i get doing subs must be annoying but like shit

[timeisacephalopod]

I use subtitles a lot and I SWEAR they've been getting shittier and shittier recently. The other day I was watching a doc on Netflix and deadass I went to look at the tv to confirm what I heard with subtitles and here WERE none for like 40 seconds and then it just picked back up like a HUGE chunk of words weren't missing and I was like wtf I don't even have a disability but to someone who IS hard of hearing or deaf these fucking things are USELESS of they're THIS useless to someone who DOESNT have a hearing issue like ???? How fucking hard is it to do subtitles (I know a lot of disabled people will do subs as freelance work and I can see how some stuff would be missed due to said disabilities, everyone has bad days, but something tells me DISABLED people aren't the ones skipping nearly a minutes worth of words being lazy with the subtitles.)

[panpanpanini]

detco salt. moonlight sonata remake rant below

forewarning that i am a staunch funi-dub enjoyer and fell in love with this show in the first 50 episodes (and still consider the early show to be superior)

-

broke sequence and watched detco episode 1000/1001 yesterday, and not to be a negative nancy but jfc i think i would've been pissed if i had tuned in to watch that on premiere day.

maybe i set myself up for failure expecting anything more (especially given my very low ceiling for ridiculous anime shenanigans) but for transparency's sake i watched the tubi dub (👎) with my brother, since we grew up watching and loving the funi dub version. ooh man did we think it sucked

remaking moonlight sonata at this stage in detco is only a good idea on paper bc it's sentimental. that's literally all it has going for it though. it didn't hold a candle to the original, not even close, not in translation/writing or voice acting, not in animation or color or background or music direction. it was so so bad, the kind of bad that cuts so deep disappointment turns to insult. rigid and stilted, environments feel sterile and vacant and weirdly huge (this is a uniquely me criticism of modern detco lol, absolutely fuckin MASSIVE environments), all sense of small town superstition and tension are gone, no time is spent even acquainting with narumi and so i felt nothing when his identity and status as the killer is eventually revealed, let alone when he self-immolated. and coming off of that, conan himself barely feels like a character. the funi dub does a stellar job of cementing shinichi as the overarching narrator of the series both in writing and in the decision to dub conan's inner monologue with his "true" voice, so while the tubi dub is already at a disadvantage in that regard there's next to no framing of the situation by him otherwise and it just kind of feels like we're flies on the wall in the most boring way possible. this isn't to say the original, subbed or dubbed, is a masterpiece of high art or anything, it just knows what it wants to do and it does it well enough to get you invested in it. there's a reason it's an iconic case, right? in the remake, you just don't get the sense that conan is invested in the case or moved by any of the ominous circumstances at all. it's so fucking weird because he should be the audience surrogate for these cases and instead it's flat and the opposite of immersive. maybe it's harsh of me to say but dare i say it's incompetent. absolute night and day compared to the original, even if you remove the dub variables.

speakings of dubs. i don't know any japanese so i have no meaningful input as to whether or not the tubi dub is a more """accurate""" translation than the funi dub but i'm firmly of the opinion that 1:1 translations belong exclusively to subs. there's way more at play in a dub than just "accurate translation" and i can't fucking tell you how awful the tubi dub is all around. it's just so wooden. i'm sure the cast are capable actors and the rigid writing was more than bogging them down but every time a name was said i made a face. every time a character spoke like a wired informant i made a new one. have the writers ever heard real people converse with each other before? does whoever was in charge of voice direction know what good performances sound like? nobody talks to each other the way the people in this dub do!! christ on a stick

(as an aside, people have pegged my criticisms of anime shows as 'expecting too much realism' but in my defense [1] detco likes to treat itself as a show that--compared to its other big-name modern shonen counterparts-- exists mostly within the bounds of real-life rules and [2] people talking to each other transcends expectations of realism. the show already expects me to think of it within a certain box and i'll eat my hat if you or other people in your life normally talk to each other like they're wearing a wire, repeating everything that's said to them like someone is on the other side of the glass)

overall verdict 1/10. mid episode for the late 900s/early 1000s era piggybacking mostly off nostalgia and good intentions but horrifically executed outside of that bubble and especially in comparison to its predecessor and the legacy thereof. extremely underwhelming and upsetting thing to put out as a commemorative special. i'm not impressed, but i'm not mad either - i'm just really, really sad

[mememanufactorum]

Things my friends have said out of context (June 2023 edition)

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

INTENSE ISLAND MECHANICS.

Magic bad.

Are you Irish for the night?

Now you can uninstall forever.

WELL IT'S ALMOST 1 AM FOR ME.

MAN SHE REALLY DOES HATE ME.

Bruh I had 100 nuggies in one day.

WHY THE FUCK IS [name] IN LOS ANGELES AND NAKED ON A BEACH?

[name] jingled the right keys for me.

DO WE HAVE A NEW LORD OF LIES?

There's already a character I really want to spill the guts of.

So I learned [name] owns a sub, and that sub has made it to the bottom of five of the seven seas.

It do not move around. It only go up. And down. No forward or back. Not even side to side.

Rotation is on thin ice, mister.

So what they be saying is magic is literally killing the planet.

Today’s stream is sponsored by the letter A. Why is that? Because you’re gonna hear a lot of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Nuh. I’m not about fancy life.

QUICK, HOW DO I INTERACT WITH PEOPLE AGAIN?

Wait I can't get away with that. This is not a receptionist job.

I want to smack people with a nuggie.

They hit your brain.

My tiredness is maxed out.

I don’t even know how many Godzilla movies he owns at this point.

A [name] with no bread is not a [name].

I am all kinds of confusion.

And now I sit here and unwind into the abyss.

It’s fine. Y’all know Japanese right?

Just ask her if she can download gas for the car.

You know, I’m starting to scare myself. I’m remembering things. My memory is working better.

Are you experiencing pain for how these people used that rice cooker?

Do you experience pain or do you experience the jolt of adventurous inspiration?

YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME, I HAVE TWITCH NOTIFICATIONS.

I bit into a well beyond expired donut an hour ago. I didn't notice because my sense of smell is basically non existent, and it tasted sour.

Okay even though this donut is supposed to have like every nutrient ever why does it taste like extra sour sourdough bread?

So either I have consumed a bite of a mold ridden burger or I'm going to explode into spiders. Both options I'm not a fan of.

I have consumed potate. Egg. And 10 charcoal tablets.

Now, I like deep dish personally, but uhh. My dad decided deep dish wasn’t deep enough, and created pizza cake.

He’s describing his character as if it’s not him and it’s just him.

I SWEAR I HIT THE BUTTON AND IT SOUNDED LIKE [name] WAS YELLING AT ME "GET THE FUCK-"

Tell [name] I said happy birfingdai and he'll get the best Godzilla movie, 1998 Godzilla.

So are you good now or still busy with the animaminals?

Would you rather that or unga red bunga red?

You forgot the toaster bath.

I want to bring my Switch to its knees, just like I had my PS4 turn into a jet engine.

So she was like "FUCK HUMANITY I HOPE THEY ALL ROT AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO TRAP EVERYONE IN AN ENDLESS LOOP".

They solve everyone but their own problem.

Can't fucking believe we actually did a bank heist.

Tiptoeing death is a [name] maneuver.

I’ll keep [name] to myself then.

Say hi and hope you don't fuck up. Freeze in place and smile awkwardly. If not, just freeze and hope they just ignore you.

I WANNA SMACK PEOPLE WITH KETCHUP OR A NUGGIE.

What if I smack you with a bag of Doritos? Or a giant cookie?

Traditional hot pot doesn't have spam.

Would you like a pizza pen?

[bisexual-horror-fan]

✨Yhello!✨

I may or may not be a little bored and extremely curious so I gotta ask - Any good shows out there you'd recommend? My current roster is getting a little repetitive even for me (which says A LOT, I promise) and I am all out of people to ask. But you're right here so might as well, right?

I hope you're having a wonderful day Bex!

- 🦇

Batty! Hello, hello! I am doing well! I hope you are too! You came to the right place because I have watched a LOT of tv shows! Lemme run down the list of some of my all time faves that I have re-watched many a times! You are gonna get good insight into the kinda shows I love. Hell yeah let's go!

Sense8.

My favourite tv show. Gun to my head and I am asked what is head and shoulders above the rest. It is this show. It is two seasons and a “movie”, it was supposed to be five seasons, netflix cancelled it, (on the first day of pride month of all things) and over the course of a month, the fandom, yours truly included bullied netflix into allowing them to film an ending, hence, the movie, it’s more than a lotta shows axed too early get. The show is a sci-fi show about sensates, a sub-set of humanity that is able to experience mental connection with other people around the globe and share in the same experiences, “clusters” are comprised of the people who are also born with this trait at the same time, took their first breath at the same moment. It is very LGBT+ friendly, beautiful, stunning, emotional, hilarious, it was filmed literally around the world and has some fantastic heart and world building to it, I wish we got the full five seasons from The Wachoski’s (yes of The Matrix fame, this is their show) but what we got is still amazing. It isn’t without its faults but the highs are so high it makes up for it. I recc three eps min to really sink into it, watch through the “What’s Going On” scene and tell me you don’t wanna keep going after that point. (Also, also it has a fuck ton of group sex scenes and massive poly vibes. If don’t stop it here I will just keep going.)

Third Rock From The Sun. 

A sit-com about four aliens, who have taken on human form and assume the identity of a human family in an attempt to learn more about the human race and eventually, hopefully, take over the world but in the process they discover what it means to be human. The cast is amazing, John Lithgow plays Dick Solomon, The High Commander, Kristen Johnson plays Sally Solomon, the weapons expert, Harry Solmon is played by French Stewart (my fave), he is the conduit for them to contact their leader, The Big Giant Head, (played by Willaim Shatner.) And Tommy Solomon is played by a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who is the oldest alien but stuck in a teenage body. They have tons of guests, the side characters are fantastic, the comedy is stellar, both physical and otherwise, a show I could re-watch over and over and I have.  Six beautiful seasons of comedy and insight about the human condition from a very un-human perspective.

Scrubs.

Another sit-com, expect a lotta sit-coms. A show set in a hospital with a bunch of doctors using humour to heal and deal with everyday life in their jobs, again the cast, Zac Braff, Sarah Chalk, Donald Faison make up the main three, who start off as interns, are amazing, as are everyone else, this show has made me laugh so hard and made me sob with my whole body, it is just the best. It’s absurdist comedy really helps balance out the heavy stuff, Dr.Cox is my personal fave, they have a musical episode that won an emmy btw! A ton of memes that you probably know have spawned from this show. Skip season nine tho, it doesn’t exist. 

How i Met Your Mother.

I can admit some of the jokes and moments in here have not aged the best but it is still a big fave if not infuriating at points. It’s about a guy, Ted Mosby, played by Josh Radnor, explaining to his children how he met their mother. Jason Segel, Alison Hennigan and Neil Patrick Harris and Cobie Smulders, fills out the rest of the main cast. This show is great because it is all told in flashback, years after the events so there are gaps in memory, misplaced names, heavy edits to make the wild shit he did in his teens and 20s, “kid appropriate” which also then makes it tv appropriate, a fun work around that they exploit to great effect for comedic purposes. Ted is also a very unreliable narrator. The ending is a big divisive thing, I personally do not like the evening but they did a re-edit and to me that is canon. You might think 9 season to get to meeting The Mother is too long and you’d be right but at the same time the ride is just so fun I cannot help but love it, a romantic comedy movie turned tv show.

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. 

If I had to pick a second fave show it is this one. Tragically cut down in it’s prime, it has only two seasons but the season two finale’ can be viewed as an ending that is pretty satisfactory for everyone but one character. The show follows Dirk Gently, played by Samuel Barnett, who is a holistic detective, he commits to a case and it sort of unfolds around him. Elijah Wood plays Todd Brotzman who is the second main character and just kills it. It is a sci-fi murder mystery show with heavy comedic elements and it delivers beautifully. The first four eps of season one will have you confused as fuck and saying, “What?” over and over again, but it’s just setting the table, and then the last episodes, everything clicks into place just so and it’s so satisfying. It also has Fionna Dourif, you know, Brad Dourif (Chucky from Child’s Play) kid, she plays Bart Curlish, my fave who is a holistic assassin, shown in the above gif, the universe just tells her who to kill and that is what she does, she’s a gem. 

And to top it all off lemme give you my top two fave anime reccs. 

Puella Magi Madoka Magica. 

A magical girl anime that follows Madoka Kaname and her friends and the journey to become magical girls. Has my fave WLW ship in anything ever, Madoka and Homura, I love them, I don’t wanna say much because uncovering it for yourself is very, very fun but it’s a massive recc from me, I adore it for a ton of reasons. Show is one season, there are three movies, the first two cover the show again, the last movie is advancing the story, a fourth movie is coming soon! Sub it better, dub is still good tho!

Panty And Stocking With Garter Belt.

Two angels were cast out of heaven and now on Earth they have to kill ghosts to earn heaven coins to earn their way back in. Panty’s panties turn into a gun that she uses to fight and Stocking’s stockings turn into twin swords. This show happened because some people saw Drawn Together and thought it was so funny they wanted to do an anime like that, this is that anime. It is a sort of magical girl show, mostly a satirical comedy. It's absurd and steeped in sex and unhinged behaviour, the sub or dub is good, I prefer the sub tho. One season but season two is officially announced and happening! Which is huge! Also the soundtrack is amazing.

---

Okay seven shows and I hope at least one of them strikes your fancy and hits for you! I provided trailers for all of them but fr Sense8 and Dirk are my top two I recc the most, but if you or anyone ends up checking them out please lemme know what you think! Hope this helps Batty!

[safetycar-restart]

SHELLLLLLSSSSZZZZZZZZ *trashing like a cartoon character gripping high voltage wires*

accent on seb loosing control when he marks you!!! THIS IS SO PAINFUL bc like, he feels so good right afterwards?? he isnt sure if he have ever felt like that but probably not??? and he is so so happy and content and in love and doesnt know how he gets to feel like this and then he sees the scratches and oh. oh yeah he doesnt actually. thats why. SHELS HELLO????

(i also LOVE how the moisturiser routine starts because !! he might have exactly one (1) functioning braincell and the only thing this braincell wants to do is !! give back !!!! screaming crying etc)

OH MY GOD what if he doesnt want people to know you're his dom??????? shels? shels have you changed your mind about the wedding are you trying to kill me before i can marry you (which, if youre serious and 📓 would also have me, YES YES YES AND YES AGAIN im awaiting eagerly in my bridal glitter)???

oh my god he would be so upset you would EVER think he loves you anything less than 400% hed literally dedicate his life to proving it wrong (even after being told repeatedly its okay and youre convinced bc ARE YOU SURE?? do you know how much he loves you ?? dO YOU??? no you DONT its more actually comE OVER HERE)

also yes the last scene is exactly what i pictured when i was writing this weeewooo 💜💜💜

Lemon 💜🍋💍

p.s. did the ask for later come through btw? i also can send it again as close to the date as i can if this will make it easier for you sorting-wise

EPP LEMON WELCOME TO THE POLYCULE!! We’re married now. Also yes! I got the somno ask and it’s SO good I’m so excited to answer it. You don’t need to resend it, but when we reach somno day, just remind me that I have that ask and I’ll look for it. Yeah? Please?

Also, because I love you I’m just gonna write more detail into the Seb wanting to put moisturiser on you concept because why not?

It starts out after a scene where you tie Seb up. When you untie him, there are rope marks all over his skin.

You know the marks will fade in an hour or so, but you can’t help but feel your heart clench when you see the rope marks on your sweet sub.

So you just have to rub some moisturiser into his skin.

At this point, Seb is in absolute heaven. He’s so happy and warm and safe? Still kinda in subspace because you’ve fucked him so well and now he’s just laying in bed, waiting for you to come back for cuddles.

And then when you arrive, he realises you’ve got moisturiser with you and you’re going to rub moisturiser into his skin?

That only makes it better?

He just lays there, eyes closed as you rub lotion into his skin and it’s just so good? He feels so loved and taken care of, not a single worry in his head.

And then when you finish, you go to put the lotion away and Seb realises you don’t have any?

He whines then, sitting up and making grabby hands for you, so obviously you stop and turn around to go back to him, asking him what’s wrong and what he needs.

All he says is “you, want to help you!”

And of course that’s just the sweetest thing ever. You assume he just wants cuddles, so you climb into bed.

Seb is so excited! He takes the lotion from you, trying to open the tub and then whining when he’s too weak for it.

You realise then that Seb wants to put lotion on you, which just makes your heart want to burst because you love him so much.

To be honest, he does a terrible job. He’s pretty much half asleep at this point.

But that doesn’t matter. You’re more than happy to sit there and let Seb put lotion on you, even though he doesn’t do a very good job.

Seb, however, is VERY proud of himself? Cause he’s helping you! He’s being such a good boy!!

[bunni-v1]

🍓Hello darlings!

Welcome to my humble blog! My name is Bunni (she/they/he)— you can call me any rendition of that, whatever you can come up with is fine — and I’ll be your writer. I’m a “veteran writer” (feels silly considering how old I actually am) on tumblr, but I haven’t actually written anything in almost two years now. Since this is an entirely new blog for an entirely new me I definitely need to do some proper introductions!

Who is Bunni?

Well, I’m an eighteen year old college student as of right now. I plan on attending college for the next four years, though my major is undecided, it’s likely I’ll end up in something to do with East Asian culture. I will be spending my summers working at my sub-par, but well paying job, and writing here in my free time. I love to write (obviously), draw, and sing! Twst is my current special interest, but other media I like (but tend to avoid the fandoms for) are Genshin Impact, Obey Me, Project Sekai and quite a few anime. If you have any questions about me, just ask!

Who are Bunni’s favorite twst characters? 

To keep it simple, I’ll list my top three with a little explanation (spoilers for chapters 1-4):

1. Azul Ashengrotto - I took one look at this man and fell in love. Azul isn’t exactly my type design wise, the only thing thats consistent with all my faves is the white hair, but his personality and backstory are really what makes me love him so much. Something about him being a huge asshole who has a lot of trauma and is only using a front to get along in life is so... yum. It’s just yum to me. The bullying is something I could relate to a lot with him, and I really like it when fictional men are unhinged and mean. God I could kiss him. Anyway, I could actually go on for hours about Azul so I’ll leave it there.

2. Vil Schoenheit - I was a Vil hater at first -- honestly most of us were, even if you say you aren’t you’re definitely a liar. I think he grew on me a lot after reading cards and finally watching chapter six. The biggest thing that both icked me out and drew me to him was the way he represented his own gender. A gender fluid queen, honestly. When I started twst I wasn’t all that confident and comfortable in my gender identity yet, I hadn’t had anyone or anything affirm it. Then Vil came along and it scared the fuck out of me, then seeing more of him helped me grow to love him and slowly accept who I was. Really fucking lame, I know.

3. Floyd and Jade Leech - NO I AM NOT LUMPING THEM TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY’RE TWINS, OKAY??? I’m lumping them together because I literally cannot pick which one I like more, okay? Anyway, both of them are silly funny goofy, absolute sillies. I really like how their personalities are foils of each other. Jade is the seemingly normal innocuous one while Floyd is the scary unhinged one, when its literally the opposite when they let their true colors show. Like, yes Floyd is a little silly in the head, but Jade is literally exactly what Floyd presents himself as. Meanwhile, Floyd just wants to go with the flow and vibe. I like them.

What are Bunni’s boundaries?

I’m terrible at talking about my boundaries, but I suppose I’ll add them later as I go. The biggest one, though, is that when I say ‘no’ I mean it. I do not take well to being pressured. I have the right to refuse any request, and I may or may not write yours. If I chose not to write yours, respect that. Arguing gets us nowhere.

Finally, enjoy your time spent on this blog. Please feel free to ask me any questions about myself or my blog — twst related or not. Thank you for reading my darlings! 🍓

[bitchkay]

Ok. Hear me out: Orgasm denial for Fenn 😳. Pleasure him into oblivion and every time he's close to coming, just stop. And rinse and repeat until he's a sobbing mess or until you run out of energy. Whichever one comes first

I feel like everyone has thought about this at some point and this is just proof of that😌😌

Anon do you want head😳

At this point I'm not even indulging you you're indulging me

I've always LOVED the idea of ruining THE prince Fenn Luxure cus this man is obviously a switch, it's not a case where its like 'oh I bet this character is a swich' no like Fenn is a switch and yet that's not explored. We've only seen little slivers of Fenn being even a fraction submissive but MC gets embarrassed so easily its almost annoying like girl at least suck his dic--

Fenn's inner sub is literally crying

In Fenn's complete surrender I think it was, I don't remember if it was the last chapter or the epilogue but Fenn was full on begging and I was like yes my skin just cleared up the clouds have passed everything is right with the world then he took control again and I was like ...are you teasing me😐

Fenn would be such a mess.

I'd treat this man so right and by so right I mean edge him to the brink of tears

Let's call a hand job normal difficulty.

Wrapping your hands around his stiff cock, teasing his sensitive skin then removing your hands when he gets a little to close to cumming and repeating the cycle.

He'd be gripping the sheets below as you run a finger over his burning hot tip almost drooling precum. Every time he gets close you let go, pushing yourself up to be eye level with him before kissing his lips.

We're calling a blowjob medium difficulty.

His bottom lip probably quivering as you drool on his cock.

He's really fighting demons not to cum down your throat on the spot.

His body stiffens as saliva rolls down the underside of his dick dripping down his balls before you take him in your mouth again. Denying him another orgasm leaving him wet with spit as you kiss his lips sloppily giving him the tangy taste of his own pre.

Now, hard mode is reverse cowgirl.

Imagine this☆:

You had to tie his arms behind his back to keep him from doing something he wasn't suposed to. Fenn with his back against the headboard you slowly —torturously— raised up and down on his cock facing away from him. His breathing laboured, his fists clenched until his nails dug into his palms, he used every once of self control he had not to buck up into you. Last time he had to watch you grind against his thigh. You could hold your own quite well. It was fun watching him loose his mind from a lack of release. He banged his head against the wall as you shimmied your hips against his pelvis before lifting off him. "Ugh! Treasure- I can't- please!" Voice hoarse and broken he hiccuped his pleas, cock twitching from the cool air. "Hmm, I'm not quite done with you yet. What can you not take it?" You said in false sympathy grinding your ass back on his dick. "I thought you'd be good at this? I haven't even cum yet." While yes, it was true, you weren't going to let yourself cum before him, no way! You want to see him fall apart. The tears beaded in his eyes have yet to fall. Burying his cock in your pussy he immediately twitched. "Ah!" You lifted off him again. "Please! Please please please-! I'll do anything! I just need to-" "Anything?" Watch your words Luxure. Looking over your shoulder you caught sight of the most beautiful face you've ever seen him make. His hair long since let loose of his braid, fell messily over his face, amethyst eyes glossy and wet, cheeks heavily dyed red damp with tears, and bottom lip raw with bite marks and the faintest trace of blood. He looked fucking gorgeous. "Anything you say?" "..please ... it hurts..." "Aw poor baby.." you cooed. "How about you watch me get my self off? Then I'll finally let you cum. I might even let you cum inside if you're good."

I'd fuck the absolute shit out of Fenn.

Fun fact: Fenn is actually submissive and breedable.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[junnibook]

•Dabi nsfw alphabet •

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

after care? lucky if he even stays, what’s that trend when dabi only calls when he’s high. yeah its one of those moments, simply because he doesn’t need a FULL relationship right now, get it.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he’s a ass and thigh guy, likes to leaving stinging hand prints and marks. if he sees them fade he’ll just make new ones, and if he sees some that aren’t from him, prepared to be covered in his marks.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

likes to paint you white with cum, he also likes when you swallow his cum down. DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT SPIT HIS CUM OUT. he’ll start all the way over with so much force that it’ll hurt to talk for a week or more. his cum is a gift take.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he doesn’t have any, he’s did and told you everything you need to know. he’s not holding back. if he wants to do it he will and takes pride in telling you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

A LOT, your most def not his first. he’s had several hookups. your just lucky that he keeps coming to you and not changing it to some other girl. but it can be a good thing or a bad thing that he’s attached. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

any that puts him in complete control and any that gets him deepest into you. his go to is the mating press. he won’t leave cum in you unless your on the pill. condoms make him annoyed and he doesn’t want another dabi running around following in his foot steps.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i think maybe a few teasing ones laced with a soft degrading. something like. “look who’s take my dick like a slut, ha you must really want it” not actually funny but it tickles his throat in a way.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he doesn’t shave and don’t ask him too because he still won’t, why should he have to? is what he would ask. “worry about the dick and not the hair” 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

yea no, not at all. wait no he might kiss your forehead MIGHT that’s his way of saying “i don’t hate you “ 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

when ever he feels like he needs to get off he’s on the way to you, he wants two things from you while on the way. one the door unlocked because he’ll be damned if he has to knock on a door, he’ll start fires if its not and two, you better prepared to take him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

dom/sub, degrading kink, worship kink {when you worship him} , public sex , public humiliation, thigh kink, quirk play, biting, marking. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere he pleases, he doesn’t care who sees him, he’s up for putting on a damn good show. you better put on your best face because he isn’t hiding it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when you send him sexy photos and text him “slutty “ things, he’s also into the innocent looks, even more if your a virgin. he likes the idea or tainting the ‘angels’ so if your innocent and still do those things he’s already at your doo hard and ready. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

not into that daddy shit, he doesn’t wanna be a daddy. but he’ll gladly be a master. he’s not into being sub, doesn’t matter how dominant you THINK you are he’s always going to be the more dominant.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

won’t eat the cat on regular days, you gotta earn that tongue piercing, but loves when he gets to throat fuck you, stretching your little throat brings him so much pleasure.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he’s always rough and fast, he doesn’t care to be gentle and he also has a habit of fucking his frustration into you, great but rough always. your going to NEED a safe word. hopefully he hears it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

even his quickies are rough, he mostly has them when he has a job he needs to be done but randomly gets horny, he’ll fuck you while on duty depending on how big it is. if he’s driving places he won’t fuck you there but right after. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

fucking you out side is a risk and he absolutely loves it, the feeling of getting caught makes him want to fuck you even more. fucking you deeply into the walls where people can hear you moan out. yea he loves that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

depending on his mood, he can last 2-6 rounds tops. some can be non stop some can give you a breather all because he doesn’t wanna have you passing out on him.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

hand cuffs, that’s it you won’t need them literally. he’s got it all covered. TRUST YOU WON’T NEED IT.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE. he likes to tease you before giving you anything, have you begging for his dick, “my little whore wants my dick does she “ he rubs your dripping opening with his tip.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he grunts and groan, loves when you moan his name,  he hates when you whine. don’t whine for a long time it annoys him, or do, what ever floats your boat.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

absolutely loves anal. the tighter the better he says. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

above average and thick with ladder piercings going down his dick. he’s proud of his member 100 percent his favorite body part.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

it’s in between. he would’ve been horny always if he wasn’t always doing jobs. but he’s right at your place an hour after he’s finished just because he can fuck his frustrations out.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

maybe it depends on you, if he can trust you than he’ll sleep there but if he’s guessing your trust than he’ll leave when you sleep or awake doesn’t matter t him.

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thanks for reading and ask box is always open.

[elpercotreviews]

Reviewing My Anime 10/10's *Relatively* Spoiler-Free

Note: What I rank a 10/10 is very specific and obviously very subjective to my own. Something can only be a 10/10 if I already consider it a 9/10 AND I must have rewatched it. I am someone who typically does not rewatch/reread anything, unless it's something I truly absolutely enjoy. With that being said, because of the requirements, I only have 4 animes that I rank 10/10, and tbh only one of those animes would get that ranking from the general anime audience. The rest are SO SO SO specific to my particular tastes that I would be absolutely stunned if someone also had the same four as me, because the requirement is so specific. Imma make another post eventually for my 9/10's because I think that list makes a lot more sense for a general anime audience lmaooo.

Soooo, in order of least personal to most personal (although obviously they're all personal to me lol) we have:

1. Psycho-Pass

Recommended for people who: are really into that dark dystopian future society vibes, are fans of Ghost in the Shell, like detective/crime stories

Okay, for a few people, this one actually probably makes some sense. At the moment, it has an 8.37 on myanimelist which means this anime is super well liked. I've watched this anime twice, first the original and then the second time I watched the director's cut (yes that exists lol). Overall, I'm a huge fan of the entire Psycho-Pass anime series as a whole. I've watched all three seasons, as well as two of the movies. I didn't watch any of the Sinners of the System ones cuz tbh I literally couldn't find an english sub of that anywhere, it just doesn't exist lol. I think it's okay cuz the ratings for the Sinners of the System trio of movies seems meh. I've actually watched Psycho-Pass the Movie like three/four times LMAO but that's simply cuz a movie is obviously much quicker to watch than an entire anime season. Like just objectively, the Psycho Pass series as a whole is very inconsistent in quality due to the fact that it's all original, so they do technically just make up everything as they go lol. Season two is all right (I think it gets more hate than it should), three is good but season one by far is the absolute best in the entire series. I'd argue the movie is technically my absolute favorite out of the whole IP, but I actually give the movie an 8/10. The movie, because of being obviously way shorter, simply does not have the deep controversial and philosophical lines of thought that season one has. It lacks that extra depth that would make me put it anything higher than an 8. The two main characters have good chemistry as a crime-fighting duo and the main villain's rivalry/relationship with the male lead is super compelling. The female lead is meant to be relatively naive/more on the innocent side which works with the plot as it allows the show to naturally explain and give more exposition as to the actual world and rules of Psycho-Pass without having it seem so ham-fisted or just throwing info to the audience.

2. Violet Evergarden

Recommended for people who: cry to sad movies, like gorgeous animation, are very empathetic, like vignette-esque storytelling

All right if you even remotely consider yourself an avid anime fan, then this anime is probably also somewhere on your 10/10 list or at least an anime you consider to be "very good." That is, unless you are that very vocal minority who simply really just REALLY do not like this anime for some god forsaken reason. However, in my honest opinion, I think an anime like this just really doesn't sit well with ... how do I put this blunty ... people who do not give a fuck about other people or anyone else's feelings but their own. Basically, IF YOU ARE SELFISH, A NARCISSIST, EGOTISTICAL, OR ANY SORT OF COMBO OF THOSE THREE, YOU WILL NOT LIKE THIS ANIME. And if you do, you probably don't think you're any of those things. Because of the anime's very premise, I find it very difficult to see a very self-centered/heartless person particularly enjoying this anime. The whole premise of this anime is that the main character who, because of her upbringing, doesn't understand feelings/emotions, especially the concept of love, grows as a human and slowly begins to learn what love is. The show does this by showing multiple sets of characters meant to represent different types of love (romantic, familial, platonic, etc). The vocal minority of people I've seen give Violet Evergarden bad ratings all typically argue that although beautiful, the anime doesn't have any substance/doesn't really mean anything. If that's honestly all you got after watching the entire show, then you deadass just don't get it, and you probably will never ever get it. If you've seen or heard of Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song, than just know that these two animes are VERY very similar in vibe despite being technically different genres. However, I personally found the themes and concepts in Vivy are done much more masterfully in Violet Evergarden which I think is due to Vivy's heavier focus on a story-driven overarching plot/action as opposed to Violet Evergarden's focus more on emotional impact/an episodic format. I've watched the entire series and I've rewatched the main show twice. TBH you can probably skip the gaiden movie AKA the one set at the girl's academy it was highkey pointless. Compared to the opera episode they added as a "special", the gaiden movie was still good but I wish resources were dedicated to something that actually added to the story. ALSO YES I KNOW ITS A GAIDEN AKA A SIDE STORY AKA FILLER SO YES NO DUH IT DIDNT ADD ANYTHING, BUT STILL. As for the main show, I think I cried for three episodes (the one about the playwright/author I forgot lol, the mother and daughter, and the soldier). On my rewatch, I didn't cry but I still deeply cared for and related to the characters. Violet Evergarden is a beautiful anime with a beautiful story.

3. ACCA: 13-ku Kansatsu Ka

Recommended for people who: like bread and bakeries, don't mind a very chill and slow-paced story, like stories about political intrigue and hidden agendas

Based on a relatively short manga, ACCA: 13 follows the main character Jean Otus as he performs his job of auditing the 13 districts of his country Dowa, while rumors and politics brew in the background that threaten to entangle Jean into a complicated plot. To be honest, I think properly reviewing this anime is impossible for me, because I just can't really explain the vibes of this anime besides "chill" and "intriguing." I think trying to explain anything more than the basic premise I just wrote would spoil a lot of what ACCA is, because it's plot is actually relatively quite simple and straightforward. Compared to Psycho-Pass which has a relatively good cult following, and Violet Evergarden which is universally praised, ACCA is an anime that I've yet to personally meet anyone who has ever even heard of it LMAOO. And almost everyone I know watches anime, so that's saying something oof. ACCA is made by Madhouse, which if you don't know, is a super well known anime studio, producing big hits such as Death Note, Hunter x Hunter, One Punch Man, etc. That's why I'm surprised that ACCA has flown just SO under the radar, but that may be due to the overalls nature of the anime itself. ACCA is an anime where all the characters hold their card close and no one seems to really share their real thoughts. One main criticism the anime has is the lack of deeper connections to characters and that for a main character, Jean Otus is very bland. To be honest, I think that's a very fair criticism and I can understand why this would prevent people from rating this anime higher than an 8 or 7. Due to the very nature of the anime and its plot, I do agree that there is a huge cast of colorful characters that we unfortunately don't really get to know more about. To be honest though, I don't mind this because I feel that's honestly quite realistic, especially factoring in Jean's job. All these places he's going and all these people he's meeting, it's literally just his job. He's not on vacation, these people aren't his friends, so the anime has no real reason to dwell much longer on places past its specific episode. Just like in real life, you encounter so many people and go past so many places that you probably won't ever see again. So for me personally, I didn't mind that the anime didn't explicitly show much about the backstories or lives of the cast, save for the very main characters (as their backstories were plot relevant). I think as viewers of not simply an anime, but a whole other world, I think it should be satisfactory to inherently understand that these are whole "people" who have entire lives that we are not exactly privy to. So although admittedly our understanding of many of the characters was all around quite shallow, I think that works for the scope of the anime, which was relatively simple and focused on just Jean living his life and the political plot stirring in the background until it was brought forward in the second half of the anime. Also I love Jean Otus. I actually completely absolutely adore him. He is literally my profile pic for myanimelist LMAO. I think calling him "bland" is fair from other people's perspectives, especially as the supposed main character of an ANIME, but I feel that if ACCA was in a different format like a novel, I think his personality would have been less criticized. Like I said, I love him soo much. I don't find him bland at all, but actually very interesting and highkey attractive LOL (if only he'd quit smoking but it's part of his charm 😞). Yes for an anime "protagonist," he is quite underwhelming especially compared to others, but I think that makes him very charming!!! Like all he wants to do is just chill, vibe, and do his job lmaooo. I think as a person, he’s very charismatic, and in the world of ACCA the rest of the characters see that as well. Because like, if he really were such a bland person, why would so many people like him and actually trust him lol? As for why it’s technically my favorite anime of all time (my ultimate one is a movie), I can’t give super detailed reasons why to be honest. I just really like the overall vibes of the anime itself, and I think the anime is just super unique and original. I’ve watched a ton of anime over the years, but I’ve genuinely seen nothing like ACCA in the slightest. I mean, just look at the recommended animes on the myanimelist. The recommended animes are all stuff I’ve also personally really liked (like fugou keiji unlimited and the great pretender) but yeah there’s just truly nothing that’s close to what ACCA is, and because of that, it reminds my absolute favorite anime show. I’ve seen the dub and the sub, even though I am a vehement dub hater lmaooo (except for very few circumstances, and this also applies to all non-English media, not just anime). There was only one thing in the entire show that slightly confused me/ seemed slightly unbelievable and I won’t spoil but it had something to do with the overall timeline of some events, but it doesn’t detract from the story at all. Oh and the art style! I really love the art style of the anime. It stays pretty true to the manga, but is also just an overall kind of art style I really like. I really enjoy the more like 2d/flat/drawn art style versus really clean and really detailed stuff, and I’m typically not a big fan of very obvious use of CGI (unless done tastefully like in Demon Slayer). All the backgrounds in ACCA have this painted/drawn style and the anime itself has this like muted(?) filter over it that makes the anime seem like someone’s drawings just put up on display in a way that’s really refreshing and nice. I highly recommend this story for anyone who wants a breath of fresh air and to get away from the typical action-packed high energy of big name anime.

4. From Up on Poppy Hill

Imma make a whole separate post JUST for this movie so I can explain why I love this movie so so much. And honestly, Imma need a whole separate post in the first place to address the elephant in the room when it comes to this movie (if you’ve seen it, then you know what I’m talking about). And if you’ve haven’t seen the movie, maybe you’ve heard about one of its controversial themes. I’m not gonna say what it is, cuz I KNOW it’ll be super off-putting for a lot of people, but please omg just hear me out. I just love this movie so so much. I’ve seen it like 7 times and counting. I have it downloaded on my computer and on a flash drive. I’ve watched the sub AND the dub however I’ve stopped watching the dub because it makes me sad every time I hear Shun’s voice actor ;-; This movie is legit an honest-to-god comfort movie for me that I could watch over and over and I’ll fall in love with it again each and every time. And once again IMMA MAKE A WHOLE SEPARATE POST BECAUSE I SWEAR PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE LIKE “Yo ain’t this the movie with the -----” and it’s like PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN. The vibes of this movie, the themes it addresses (yes even THAT theme), the music, the art, the characters, is perfectly presented in a way that I will never stop watching this movie. The only other film that has come close to the amount of times I’ve watched From Up on Poppy Hill would be Legally Blonde lmaooooo. 

[astrologista]

Gavin Bros. Analysis

here be spoilers for apollo justice (aa4)

There are already a bunch of posts all about AA:AJ and just what the heck was behind Kristoph Gavin’s Psychelocks. What were his motivations? Why did he do what he did? As fragmented as the story is surrounding the Gavin brothers, and as much as I wish the source material had rounded out their characters a little more, I believe the game actually tells you pretty much everything there is to know about this case rather succinctly. Don’t worry as I will use evidence to back up my claims...

It is notably interesting that Kristoph’s Psychelocks only come up when Phoenix asks him point blank why he killed Zak Gramarye. This is the one question that Kristoph consistently refuses to answer directly, both in Solitary Cell 13 and in his testimony at his trial. Coincidentally, this is also the main question that he ever gets asked that speaks to his emotions or state of mind. Kristoph has a really good logical answer for basically all of the evidence-based questions. But, it’s also not a coincidence that Apollo has the presence of mind to note - “why not bring up the motive from the start? unless it was a battle he thought he might lose...”

This establishes pretty clearly that Kristoph is going to have a vested interest in keeping all questioning solidly focused on the material evidence at hand such as the postage stamp, the nail polish, and reasons why he cannot be directly connected to those objects. The law provides plenty of escape hatches and loopholes for Kristoph to exploit, which he does, providing him with the legal basis to be able to escape punishment due to the inability for anyone to prove his guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. This is not surprising as being a very successful defense attorney is literally his job and he happens to be extremely competent at it.

This kind of person is scary if you meet them in real life because they can always seem to wriggle out of anything you try to pin on them. Kristoph is a grand master at doing this, quite possibly as good as they come in the AA universe.

Here’s the rub. Apollo brings up that Kristoph wants to avoid bringing the conversation into motives and state of mind questions, why? Because “it’s a battle he thinks he might lose”. Every single time this topic comes up, Kristoph deflects the question. This also is indicated by the five black Psychelocks that come up when Phoenix asks him point blank why he killed Zak. So from this we can gather that the game is drilling it in pretty well that Kristoph’s motivations are a sore spot for him and possibly the one chink in his armor.

Because the material evidence cannot prove anything for or against Kristoph’s guilt, in a typical case like this the police would hope for the holy grail - a full confession and admission of guilt. Kristoph is much too cool of a customer to fall into any traps, no doubt he was questioned very rigorously after being arrested, but all he even had to do was invoke his right to remain silent regarding his motives or simply claim that he killed Zak just ‘cause y’know, being evil is fun. Once he confessed to killing Zak, though, the police probably didn’t care all that much to probe into his thoughts and motivations really, if he did it, he did it and he’s going to spend a stint in jail either way.

Phoenix sees through this, however. In Solitary Cell 13 he does NOT allow Kristoph to drop or evade the question. That is why we get as far as even seeing the black Psychelocks at all. If we can’t know the motive, why bother to have this scene in the game?

Quite simply we can now understand that Kristoph’s motive for killing is something emotional. It is not something that he’s going to divulge casually, but it is also probably something that he is worried about divulging UNCONSCIOUSLY which is why he constantly tries to steer conversations away from it, instead deflecting to discuss the evidence or the emotional state of other people in the room. Consider that Kristoph’s reputation is PREDICATED on him being “the Coolest Defense in the West”. His identity is based on his successful suppression of emotions in court. This is not to say he shows no emotion or is some kind of monotone emotionless husk. He has a rather dry sense of humor. He banters with Apollo. He banters with Phoenix. He isn’t as uptight as some portrayals would have you believe (”life is to be taken easy”). When it comes to surface topics, Kristoph is an open book. He’s not as terse as you would believe, but rather kind of poetic and loquacious and conversational (to his downfall in 4-1). You get the feeling that he would be a very good conversationalist. But only for surface topics. Try to dig a little deeper and he will very neatly deflect your efforts. 

How can we hope to understand a character who by definition does not have any interest in talking about his innermost neuroses? The reason why people still discuss the Gavin brothers and Turnabout Succession so much is that, while a very satisfying and intense case, it is unlike a lot of other AA cases in that you come away from it with a LOT of open ended questions. You don’t feel the same feeling of closure as you would get from the DL-6 case, where it feels like you finally understand all the facts of the case and all of the character motivations come to light making you go “oh! THAT MAKES SENSE!” you understand why von karma killed gregory, and everything comes together nicely in the end. Turnabout Succession is kind of a rarity in that it does not do that. By the end, you feel like you clearly understand the case, but you do not have a crystal clear view of the root cause of the motivations behind it.

In Kristoph’s final testimony he does shed a little bit of light on his motivations for his crimes. The issue that he has is mainly centered around his dismissal by Zak Gramarye as his representation. And, his subsequent replacement with Phoenix Wright, an attorney he perceives to be low-class and sub-par. Kristoph then states “these men shamed me, and I could not forgive that.” This is as close to an answer as to why he went to such lengths to get Phoenix disbarred as we are likely to get. Disproportionate retribution is the name of the game. It seems as if, if there’s one thing Kristoph cannot tolerate, it’s being looked down upon by someone that he perceives as inferior to him. Kristoph has extremely polarized notions of who should get to practice law, who is acceptable and who is categorized under “ignorant swine soiling the courts”. He makes very, very clear that he has nothing but disdain for common people, common wisdom, and any use of emotion or feelings in deciding verdicts.

So the particular manner in which Phoenix sought to bring him down with the jury system was a very deliberate masterstroke to Kristoph’s pride. That much we can establish. But again, motive. The game goes out of its way to tell you that whomever defended Zak would be “famous beyond belief” and, presumably also, rich. They would get a lot of very high-profile clients and cases sent their way after successfully defending the uber-famous magician Zak Gramarye. 

Taking all of this into account, right. Is it possible that everything Kristoph did has its roots in one very simple source, the root of all evil?

Money.

Taking a step back for a moment, consider Klavier. Why does Klavier perform in a rock band? “Because I want Frauleins to look at me when I walk down the street.” I feel like people really want to believe that both Kristoph and Klavier are super deep characters and have all this deep lore and hidden backstory. Maybe they do. Most AA characters do. But consider this. What if they’re both so deep, they’re actually just shallow? Yes, that shallow?

Given how much AA:AJ focuses on the Gavins, which is really not that much, this concept seems difficult to swallow. Is there really more to the story based on what the game gives us? If there is, how would we piece it together?

One major hint the game gives you about Kristoph (and, if this is insignificant, then you have to really wonder why they bother to bring it up at all) takes place directly after seeing Kristoph’s black Psychelocks in Solitary Cell 13. He starts doing his nails. Phoenix says “I know appearances are a big thing with you”. Kristoph says “You know what I say? One cannot live a beautiful life without beautiful nails.”

I feel that this statement is important because it is probably about as deep of a look as we are ever going to get at how shallow Kristoph Gavin really is. He hopes you will believe that he’s playing 12-dimensional chess with some kind of fucked up backstory and motive going, but the truth is, he’s no chessmaster. Based on what the game gives you, there’s really only one motivation for everything that makes sense.

Kristoph killed Zak, Drew and attempted to kill Vera to cover his tracks. He had to do everything he could to make sure no one talked about the forgery. He had to stalk people like Spark and keep Phoenix very close (the epitome of keep your friends close keep your enemies closer). There’s nothing really debatable about those facts because they are all discussed in the game.

What about the root cause? Revenge, of course, for Phoenix stealing away the chance for Kristoph to defend Zak.

Why was defending Zak so important to Kristoph? To become rich and famous.

So wait. Why does Kristoph need to be rich and famous?

As it is, Kristoph appears to be very affluent and well off. There is no real reason directly given in the game as to why he would need such prestige and fame other than that it feeds his massive ego and superiority complex. So that’s a big part of it, no debate there.

But why would the excessive monetary gains that would be secured off of the Gramarye case be so appealing to Kristoph? We’ll re-examine this in a little bit.

In Daryan Crescend’s case, Phoenix tells Apollo “every man has an igniter. find his and set it off”. 

What is Kristoph’s igniter?

I mean some people would say Phoenix Wright is Kristoph’s igniter based on his breakdown. But, I think more of that trial was contrived by Phoenix than we tend to notice.

I think Klavier is Kristoph’s igniter.

The final trial in Turnabout Succession would not have been able to succeed without Lamiroir, without the jury system, without Phoenix pulling the strings, without Trucy, without Apollo, and most especially without Klavier. Removing any of these elements from the scenario would immediately give Kristoph a massive advantage in allowing him to manipulate the courtroom. Can you imagine Payne trying to prosecute Kristoph?

No. Klavier was the only one who could confront Kristoph successfully.

The final trial had to be contrived in such a way as to put maximal pressure on Kristoph to increase the chances that he would slip up or, more likely, that an element of randomness and/or emotion would become introduced. Phoenix sets up Klavier as the prosecutor for this trial for a good reason - remember, Phoenix tells Apollo point blank that he (Phoenix) is pulling all of the strings for the Misham trial, so whatever happens is entirely his responsibility.

It must have been difficult for Phoenix to entrust Klavier, the person who sealed his fate, with such an important task. But realistically, he didn’t really have a choice. Klavier’s disclosure of Kristoph’s visit to the prosecutor’s office is the glue that holds together the entire case against Kristoph Gavin. Notice that Kristoph never really does anything to keep Klavier out of the public eye or otherwise silence him (up until the very end at least). If I knew there was someone walking around giving press interviews and practicing as a prosecutor who knew something really incriminating about me, I would want them swept away or snuffed out asap - I mean, Kristoph has already poisoned Drew and Vera who were unlikely to tattle on him at best; Drew couldn’t even identify him! What Klavier has on him is much, much more damning dirt. Either Kristoph really loves and trusts his brother or is convinced that he can control Klavier to the point where Klavier would never dare tell anyone about that visit or wouldn’t want to. Probably both are true.

The interesting thing about this dynamic is that this is really the only time where we see both Gavin brothers together in one room, as well. Something about being in proximity changes both of their behaviors. Klavier becomes hyper-alert and nervous in Kristoph’s presence, a marked change from his usually easy demeanor. Klavier’s presence causes Kristoph to make several mistakes, which end up costing him the case.

So all of these things needed to happen, and they needed to happen simultaneously for Phoenix to succeed. Getting back to my theory on Kristoph, we can see from what’s said in the game a few things - he really, REALLY wanted to be the one to benefit from defending Zak Gramarye (a trial he knew he would win against his brother using forged evidence), the presence of Klavier is his undoing in court, and his appearances are very, very important to him. 

I honestly think the real reason Kristoph was so salty about losing out on the Gramarye trial fame and money is that he didn’t just want to be affluent or well-to-do. He wanted to be excessively, filthy rich.

If you look at Solitary Cell 13 you will see that Kristoph likes very much to surround himself with many nice things. He likes tasteful decorations and furniture. He enjoys literature, music, art, that weird rose he keeps in a vase, and he has a dog named Vongole. “First rate in all things, accept nothing less.”

To have such top of the line items, Kristoph must not only be rich, he must be like top 1% rich. He has to have the absolute best of everything. This is why he needs money. Without these things, what separates him from the ignorant swine he so despises? This is why Kristoph needed money.

Nowhere is this highlighted more than with the Ariadoney nail polish. I think it’s mentioned a couple of times that the Ariadoney is absolutely the best possible nail polish that you can buy. It’s very, very expensive and is manufactured in extremely limited quantities (this is discussed during Kristoph’s testimony). If Kristoph is this fixated on something as simple as a bottle of nail polish, you can almost imagine the absolutely ludicrous costs of every other item that he uses or owns, not limited to his home, his car, fine foods and wine, his expensive hobbies, possibly traveling etc etc etc etc. I just know this fool shops at Whole Foods, because I can’t see him buying groceries at the Costco. It makes a lot of sense as to why he is single as well. Kristoph Gavin would end up being an expensive habit to any partner who would have him - I wouldn’t want to share a bank account or credit line with him. He needs Gucci to keep him happy. No bootlegs here.

Point is, Kristoph Gavin has an addiction to the finer things in life and he will NOT settle for second rate products. He will have what he wants and he will do basically anything to maintain his lifestyle at its current elite level at the expense of his own morality and soul. Sadly enough I feel like that might be as deep as it gets with him. That’s a really pathetic motive to have and makes me hate him a lot more, but it’s so fucked up I can’t look away.

Consider also the most important thing to Kristoph of all - his appearance. It costs money to keep yourself up and this seems to be the one area that Kristoph might end up pouring the most money into. The top of the line suit, the white shoes, the perfect tan, the platinum blonde hair so immaculately coiffed, the fact that his skin is virtually perfect and the fact that his face is near-identical to Klavier’s despite being some 8 or 9 years older. Most normal people would have some kind of facial imperfection pop up at some point, a wrinkle, a pock mark, something. And that’s when you realize... that Kristoph Gavin has most likely had work done. Like, on his face to make it stay youthful. He’s just that vain and probably also despises watching Klavier stay young and pretty while he’s just aging. Fillers? Botox? Collagen treaments? Something more invasive? No one knows, but all I’m saying is that Klavier’s character description goes out of its way to describe Klavier as “the spitting image of Kristoph Gavin”. Vera notices the extreme resemblance right away. There can certainly be genetic basis for two brothers looking alike, but compare that to how Mia and Maya look “alike”, or Lana and Ema, both of whom have a similar age gap to Kristoph and Klavier. You would realize that Kristoph and Klavier seem to have somewhat of a more obvious resemblance despite the age difference. So this isn’t just possible anymore, this is actually likely. I don’t think the game implies that Kristoph has undergone plastic surgery or anything, so I’m keeping this in the realms of headcanon for now. But it would make perfect sense as yet another reason as to why Kristoph Gavin needs cold cash. He needs to look flawless and he needs access to the absolutely most top of the line treatments and practitioners, continually. And as he continues to age, he needs to get more and more aggressive, more and more products, more and more retouching with those age reversal creams and foundations and stabilizers. That adds up, cost-wise, very very fast, especially if you want top of the line EVERYTHING, and Kristoph does indeed. It is very clear that settling for any less would be completely unacceptable to him.

All of this money, it has to come from somewhere. Being a posh defense lawyer will bring in some money, sure, but nothing near what Kristoph is going to need to live his beautiful life. Winning the Gramarye trial would have probably bought him enough prestige, clients and monetary gains to support himself off of law for the rest of his life. It does make a lot of sense that he would be incensed after losing that chance.

There is one more unexplored possibility as to why Kristoph had to be the one to win the Gramarye trial, though, and it ties into the money issue as well. This was supposed to be a fair match, after all, brother to brother. Klavier’s first case, in fact. It was supposed to be Kristoph vs. Klavier, and Kristoph wanted to make sure that he would be the one to win. Only Zak and Phoenix ruined that chance - a once in a lifetime chance, actually, for Kristoph to go up against his brother on Klavier’s very first day.

Klavier was the prosecutor of the Gramarye trial. It was his very first case. What could Kristoph have to gain by being the one to trounce 17-year-old Klavier in court on his first day on the job?

Well, not much, other than it would have been a huge crushing blow to Klavier psychologically.

There’s a comic floating around by someone, I think zarla-s, where Kristoph wins the Gramarye trial and is discussing his win with Klavier afterwards. Kristoph is smug and hopes Klavier will be humbled by his impressive win, but Klavier is unperturbed by his loss, happy for his brother and insists he’ll win next time.

As cute as this is, somehow I don’t think that’s exactly how it would go down.

Klavier has actively shown how nervous / anxious / upset Kristoph’s mere presence makes him in a courtroom setting. Based on this, it’s not unfair to say that losing to Kristoph IN PARTICULAR on Klavier’s very first case would have been a devastating psychological blow that could technically end Klavier’s prosecutor career before it even began. There is a lot on the line with the Gramarye trial, don’t forget the praise and adulation that Klavier gained by winning it. So other than all of the fame, adulation, money and pride Kristoph would have gained by rigging and winning the Gramarye trial, there is another dimension that he was also robbed of - the ability to ruin his brother’s law career. Losing to another attorney like Phoenix or anyone else would not be enough to do the job. It would have to and could only be Kristoph’s doing.

What reason could Kristoph have for wanting Klavier’s law career to come to an end?

Well, Klavier does have another job. As a rock star.

Wildly popular rock stars make a lot of money, many many many times more than even a celebrity defense attorney could dream to make.

The Gavinners had multiple albums go platinum. They sold out shows all over the country, I believe, possibly all over the world. They are a brand. They are profitable. Klavier is profitable.

With how much Kristoph depends on and uses Klavier, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Kristoph gets to take a big cut of Klavier’s earnings from his music career. For all we know, Kristoph could have been responsible for assembling and filing many of the Gavinners’ early contracts and legal paperwork. The rights to songs, record deals, merchandising - this is a lot of stuff. I’d say it’d be pretty hard to believe that Kristoph did not have his hooks into the Gavinners from day one. If he handled contracts, he could have written in loopholes that would give him a huge cut of any earnings resulting from Klavier’s band, the Gavinners.

Now I know what you’re thinking, Klavier himself is a legal prodigy. He could have easily read through anything Kristoph prepared and refused to sign on the dotted line if he found anything amiss or hidden in the fine print. What if Kristoph’s legal control of Klavier started much earlier than that? Depending on when Klavier started in the entertainment business, which could have been a very early age, Kristoph could have had plenty of time and opportunity to secure access to any of Klavier’s future earnings, especially if their parents were out of the picture.

 If you think Kristoph has nothing to do with the Gavinners, think about it. One of their songs is literally called “Atroquinine, My Love”. They are a brand. They are marketed specifically to teeny boppers. They’re not squeaky clean mainstream pop like the Jonas Brothers or anything, but they are marketable. The advertising, the way they dress, the way Klavier says he’s tired of the youthful angst scene, the fact that Klavier only gives Apollo and Trucy a 20% discount on concert tickets. I’m just saying a lot of it could end up being contrived, perhaps by a certain someone with an ulterior motive. It seems really, really weird and coincidental that the band broke up right after AA4 too. Klavier seems like he’s really dedicated to his art, and to music. This much is clear in the way he reverently talks about Lamiroir, how he teared up at her song, even the Guitars’ Serenade seems like a very different song than what the Gavinners would typically do, and it only debuts after Kristoph is already in jail.

It makes you wonder if there might be a little something more going on here. If Kristoph had it set up to where he could get access to Klavier’s assets, which almost certainly dwarf his own by several times, then he had every reason to want to crush Klavier in court. He had to be the one to face Klavier in the Gramarye trial and win, causing Klavier to end his prosecutor dreams - and do what?

Go back on the road, put everything into his music career and become a workhorse for Kristoph’s ambitions.

Putting Klavier full time on the Gavinners would have solved all of Kristoph’s monetary worries for good. He could skim everything off the top and finally live the beautiful life of his dreams, the life he needed to have and couldn’t do without. Most importantly, he could keep up appearances and always look continually young and attractive.

Until we learn otherwise, I think that that is really all that was behind Kristoph’s black Psychelocks. Just a narcissistic, vain, preening loser masquerading as some mastermind villain when, in the end, that’s not really what he cared about being. He cared about painting his nails in a luxurious mansion surrounded by piles of money in a big Scrooge McDuck money vault, and laughing maniacally at anyone who ever thought that there was anything more to it.

[allsassnoclass]

i blame it on the weather (can you make it better)

Pairing: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Key Tag(s): College AU, Cold, Angst with a Happy Ending

Word Count: 6,177

Read on AO3

A/N: this was tailor-made for @michaelownsmyheart​. I hope you like it darling <3 also big shout out to @clumsyclifford​ for looking this over and giving me Good Advice

—

Michael doesn’t remember the dorm being this cold when he left in December.  He doesn’t know how the space between him and Calum got that cold, either.

—

The drive back to campus feels shorter than normal, songs on the radio flying by with other cars on the highway the further Michael gets from his family and the closer he gets to the loneliness of an empty dorm.  Normally he wouldn’t mind having the place to himself, especially because that means he can blast music as loud as he wants and no one else is going to take the shower with the good water pressure, but there’s something foreboding about it now.

His phone is still empty of messages from the one person he’s been waiting to hear from.  Two weeks alone in the dorms wouldn’t be so bad if he had Calum on the other end of the line to keep him company.

He pulls into his parking spot right as snow begins to fall, a little earlier than predicted.  He sends a quick text to his parents to let them know he made it safe, then grabs his bags and makes the trek to his dorm.  It’s an older building elegantly nestled between the newer residence halls with better air conditioning or elevators that don’t break down every month, but there’s more character to it.  The other dorms are boxy and made of dark brick, but this one is lighter with turrets at the top and heavy wooden doors.  It looks more like a fantasy castle than a dorm building, and Michael’s mum had fallen in love with it immediately on their campus tour a few years ago.  Now that Michael is living here it’s lost some of its luster, but it’s also the only building to have single rooms, and while having Luke as a roommate turned out alright in the end last year, he likes being able to have the room to himself all of the time.

Michael fumbles for his key card to swipe himself in, biting off one of his gloves so he can get it out of his wallet.  Thick flakes land on his coat and hands, the kind that would probably be good for making snowmen if he still did stuff like that but that will be hell to drive in later.  Hopefully the roads will be clear enough by tomorrow, and he probably has some ramen that he never made from last semester that he can heat up for dinner tonight.

Inside doesn’t feel much warmer than outside, but there’s no snow or wind.  Michael stomps his feet in an attempt to get all of the snow off his boots, but freezes as soon as he glances up.

Nestled amongst the armchairs, big windows, fireplace, piano, and little side tables that make up the front lounge, Calum Hood stares back at him like a deer in headlights.  He’s got a notebook and pencil in his hand and a textbook open in front of him, blanket wrapped around his shoulders in a way that Michael wishes he were.  He looks exactly the same as he did when Michael last saw him a few weeks ago, except he’s fully clothed this time.  He looks good.  He looks cozy.

He looks like Michael is the last person he wants to see.

Michael clears his throat.

“I didn’t know you were back on campus,” he says.

“I’m taking a j-term and thought it’d be easier to focus here,” Calum replies, lifting the notebook halfheartedly.  “It’s a prereq for my chem class this semester.  It turns out that switching majors put me a bit behind this time.”

Michael nods.  Calum started as a music education major, then switched to an elementary education major before realizing he didn’t want to deal with little kids.  Now he’s studying to be a high school science teacher, which means he has a few freshman science classes he needs to squeeze into his schedule.  He hadn’t said anything about a j-term to Michael when he registered, but they also haven’t exactly been communicating much since before finals.

“I didn’t expect anyone back yet,” Calum says eventually.

“I got permission to come back early so I can take a few more shifts.  Gotta pay for college somehow, you know…”

Michael trails off, unbalanced and uncomfortable.  It feels wrong to be reacting like this around Calum, just like it felt wrong to not hear from him during finals or break, but after a few more moments of uncomfortable silence and chewing his lip he hefts his bag higher on his shoulder and makes an excuse about wanting to get his room back to rights.  He feels Calum’s eyes on him as he leaves, the weight of his gaze lingering even after Michael has entered the stairwell, dug out his key, and entered his room.  When he takes off his jacket he immediately reaches for a blanket, wrapping himself up and trying to suppress the shivers threatening to erupt throughout his body.

He doesn’t remember the dorm being this cold when he left in December.  He doesn’t know how the space between him and Calum got that cold, either.

-/-

Once he has a bowl of instant ramen in front of him and his stuff more or less put away, Michael calls Luke.

“Good morning,” Luke answers, a leftover joke gone stale from when they were roommates with opposite sleep schedules.  It almost makes him wish for a simpler time when Luke was forcing him to go places like Welcome Week events and they were literally running into people like Calum and Luke was forcing them all to be friends even though Michael’s smoothie got spilled and Calum dropped his nachos.  Michael would take being newly flustered over a hot guy who got a strawberry drink all over his favorite sweatshirt rather than having Calum not fucking talk to him.

“Did you know that Calum’s doing a j-term?”

Luke sighs on the other end of the line.

“I’m doing fine, Michael, thank you for asking.  How are you?”

“I’m bad.  Calum is here and no one warned me.”

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t tell him that you would be back early, either.”

“That much was obvious.”  Michael stirs his noodles, suddenly feeling like he doesn’t have the right appetite for this.  “He looked like me showing up was the worst thing in the world.”

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“I’m not,” he says.  “You should’ve seen him.  He hates me now, and I still don’t know what I did wrong.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Luke says.  “He misses you, too.”

“If he misses me so much, he should respond to my texts.”

Luke hums on the other end of the line.

“You’re both in the same place now.  Maybe you can corner him in person.”

“I wouldn’t have to do that if someone would just tell me what happened.”

“What happened is that you two slept together and then Calum ghosted you,” Luke sighs.  “If you want his reasoning, you have to ask him.  I will not be a messenger pigeon for you two.”

“I feel like that metaphor works best only if he’s been asking about me, too,” Michael says.  Luke doesn’t respond right away, a drawn out pause that makes Michael look up from his noodles.  He wishes they were video chatting so he could see what sort of expression Luke is wearing. “Luke, has he asked about me?”

“I’m not doing this with you right now,” Luke says.

“You fucker, he has talked about me!  Do you know why he ghosted me?”

“Stop using me as a go-between!  If you want to know why Calum hasn’t replied to your messages, ask him yourself.  You both need to get your heads out of your asses and communicate.  I can’t believe I’m the one who has to say that.”

Silence descends and Michael pulls his phone away from his ear to see that Luke hung up on him.  Michael huffs.  A second later his phone lights up with an incoming call, a very unattractive picture of Luke staring at him from his screen.  He considers letting it ring out and go to voicemail, but in the end he decides to take the high ground and answer.

“What,” he says flatly.

“Sorry I hung up on you,” Luke says.  “I don’t like being caught between you both.”

“Yeah,” he sighs.  “I don’t like it, either.”

“Will you try to talk to him?  He’ll let you if it’s in person.”

“I guess.”

Luke hums.  They stay on the phone a little longer, small talk filling the silence so Michael doesn’t have to be alone while he eats, but he knows he’s being a bad conversation partner, too distracted by what Calum may or may not have been saying about him to Luke.  When they finally hang up Michael flops back on his bed and groans, wondering if he should just move to Antarctica and change his name rather than put himself through this.

-/-

He manages to go the rest of the night without any indication that Calum is there.  They miss each other in the bathroom, but every sound in the hallway has the hair on his arms standing on end, wondering if it could be Calum or just the settling of the near-empty building.  He sleeps fitfully, tossing and turning on the sub-par dorm mattress, cuddling deeper into his blanket in an attempt to find some much-needed warmth.

The last night he spent with Calum, and the first night they’d spent together in that way, Michael fell asleep warm.  It was almost too hot, sticky under the covers and burning wherever their skin touched, but he loved it.  He’d take the heat over the cold any day, and he hasn’t felt warm since he woke up alone, bed feeling too big without the other boy in it to act as his personal space heater.

That morning the sheets had still smelled like him, but they were cold.  He’d left long before Michael woke up.  Michael’s first morning back feels like a mirror of that day.  Right before he fully wakes up he catches himself reaching for Calum and coming up empty.  When he realizes what he had been doing, he forces himself to get up rather than stay in bed and wallow only because he can’t afford to be late to work on his first day back and he doesn’t trust the roads to be cleared yet.  The college is situated on the outskirts of town, an odd placement that puts a woodsy area to one side and only a few smaller shops next to it.  Michael hadn’t managed to land a job in one of those places, but the family-owned restaurant he works at pays enough to be worth the gas it takes to get there.  He throws on a hoodie and slippers and shuffles to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Calum is already at one of the sinks when he enters.  Michael doesn’t let his eyes stray from his face, refusing to take in the tan shoulders and torso or the drops of water glistening against him, leading down to the towel wrapped around his hips.  He has a toothbrush in his mouth, foam gathering at the corners of his lips, lips that Michael has--

No.  He can’t think about this now.

“Morning,” he says, clearing his throat to get it to work properly.

“Morning,” Calum replies around his toothbrush, consonants muffled.  He spits into the sink and Michael makes himself focus on his own morning routine, meticulously putting toothpaste on his own brush and hoping it’s not obvious that even glancing at Calum is dangerous for him right now.

Neither of them try to say anything more, and Michael wonders if the silence is hanging as heavily in the air for Calum as it is for him.  Before break, silences between them were the only types of silences Michael could stand.  He’s fidgety by nature and gets uncomfortable without background noise, but Calum always managed to temper that a bit.  Being around him settles something inside, something that right now makes Michael want to scream.

He’s about to try to break the silence when Calum picks up his bathroom caddy and leaves without so much as a glance his way.  Michael tries not to let it bother him, but he misses the weight of his gaze.  Calum used to look at him fondly, filled with enough affection that Michael could feel it in his heart.  He doesn’t understand why that would have to change now.

By the time Michael goes to start his car for work, Calum has set himself up in the lounge again, laptop open in front of him.  He’s turned on the fireplace, something that Michael thinks they're not technically supposed to do but that he’s certainly not going to call him on, and he doesn’t look up when Michael comes down the stairs.  Michael lingers by the doorway longer than he should.

They’ve spent a lot of time in this room, whether doing homework on the couch, trying to play duets on the piano in the corner, or hogging the chess set by the window, figuring out how to play and passing the time.

The chess board is set up for a fresh game.  In a naive fit of hope Michael walks over to it and moves one of the pawns forward.  Calum doesn’t glance up from his computer, but he’s still in a way that means he knows what Michael is doing.

On his way out he thinks he hears someone say drive safe, but the howling of the wind is already filling his ears and he can’t be sure.

-/-

Michael gets sent home early because of the snow.  He fights it all the way there, pulling in late because he had to move so slow, and halfway through his shift the manager calls it, deciding to close up for the day.  Right after he clocks out Michael gets a notification on his phone for a severe blizzard alert, and he steels himself to face it before leaving behind the warmth of the restaurant.  Outside the world is covered in a thick sheet of white, plows not able to keep up with the large flakes still falling from the sky, and Michael wills his car to survive the drive, windshield wipers going furiously in an attempt to keep him seeing as much as he can.  The drive takes three times longer than usual, and when he finally spots his dorm through the snow it comes with a sigh of relief.

Calum is still in the lounge when he comes inside and stomps his feet to get some feeling back into them.  With the snow came a biting wind, and even after barely being outside he feels frozen.

“I was getting worried,” Calum says, startling him.  “It looks like it’s bad out there.”

“It is,” Michael says, taking off his hat and shaking snow off of it.  He squints at Calum, in a different position and bundled in a blanket now, the big blue one that Mali got him as a grad present.  Michael once again has to push away the urge to cuddle up to him.

“It’s fucking cold,” he says instead, because it’s true and if he doesn’t make small talk he’s going to blurt something embarrassing like I’ve been thinking about you all the time or why did you leave me or I love you I love you I love you I’m sorry please can we be friends again?

“Going to be a cold night for us, then,” Calum says.  “The heating’s been shit this break.  I don’t think they keep it up as high when there’s only one student here.”

“I’ve had a few cold nights,” Michael snorts before he thinks about it.  “I mean--I’ll use some extra blankets.”

Calum nods once.  He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, then snaps it shut again, looking down at his computer.  It feels like a dismissal, like Michael isn’t worth his time anymore, and it stings.

He should go upstairs, anyway.  He needs to find some blankets of his own.  He glances over the piano and the fireplace, eyes landing on the chess game by the window.

Someone has moved a pawn on the other side.  He glances at Calum, then moves a knight, continuing the game.  He wants to ask Calum to sit down and play a proper round with him, but one glance at Calum’s posture has him biting his tongue.  He’s closed off, blanket wrapped around him securely and face tense, and Michael can’t bring himself to bother him, not when interacting with Michael seems to be the last thing he wants to do.

Michael looks back at the chess set, three pieces out of place, and heads to his room.

-/-

The night comes simultaneously fast and slow in the way that all boring winter nights do.  Michael sits in his room scrolling through social media while the sun sets around him, and when he does eventually get up it’s only so he can make more ramen to eat.  He had lunch at the restaurant and never did get to the grocery store, but he has a few snacks to munch on and if things get really bad he can always see if Calum has anything he’s willing to share.

Calum initiated conversation earlier, so things can’t be too bad between them, right?  It’s still terribly stiff and uncomfortable, but at least he’s not getting the silent treatment anymore.  At least Calum looked at him for a little bit.

He plays video games until he’s too bored to continue, then showers and crawls into bed.  It’s still cold, just like Calum said it would be, but they haven’t lost power yet.  Michael piles on the blankets and pillows, but his sheets are frigid, not yet warmed by his body heat and making him shiver.  After a few minutes of tossing and turning he considers boiling water just to have a warm mug to hold in his hands.

Maybe it’ll be better in the lounge with the fireplace on.  No one’s here to get mad at him for falling asleep on the couch, but then he’d have to haul all of his blankets down there, something that he doesn’t think he has the energy for right now.

He wishes Calum were here.  It feels like all he’s done since getting back to campus is think about Calum, his presence in the building affecting him more than it would have if he was fully alone, but in a pragmatic sense he also really wants a warm body next to him right now.  Two people under the covers are warmer than one, and he’s already put on socks and a hoodie.  Wrapping himself in Calum would keep him warm on a physical level, and maybe it’ll settle him enough that he’ll actually be able to sleep without having weird dreams or waking up every few hours.

He hasn’t even gotten close enough to touch him since getting here.  Before break, he and Calum were always handsy with each other, personal space a myth with the two of them.  It feels wrong to have seen him and not immediately gone in for a hug.

He flops onto his stomach, trying to get comfortable without disturbing the blankets too much, but sleep isn’t coming easy.  When a knock comes on his door, he’s immediately awake and alert.  He wonders if it was a piece of a dream instead, given that there’s only one other person in the building and late night visits did not seem to be an option on the table, but after a few moments someone knocks again.

The light of the hallway is bright after the dark of his room, making him squint at the silhouette of Calum standing before him, wrapped in a blanket like he always seems to be right now.  His hair is messy, no doubt from his own fitful attempt to sleep, and Michael wants to run his fingers through it and put it back to rights.

“Hi,” Michael says.

“I called maintenance about the heat,” Calum says.  “They said they’re having a bit of issue with it and will send someone out, but with the road conditions it could be a little while.  I think they forgot that there were people here.”

“Oh,” Michael says.  “Okay.”

He stares at Calum again, cataloguing how tightly he’s wrapped up and the way he’s chewing on his lips.  Michael waits for him to say what he really came here to.

“It’s really fucking cold, Michael,” Calum blurts finally, a little desperate.

“I know,” Michael says, not sure how to tell Calum that he’d set the world on fire for him if it would help.

“It’d be warmer if we were together.  Like, scientifically speaking.  If we cuddled, it would warm us up a bit.”

“Well, you are the scientist in this duo.  You would know.”  Calum finally meets his eyes, looking up through his eyelashes a little in a way that’s completely unfair.  He’s already got Michael wrapped around his finger, heart skipping a beat at the simple occasion of having his attention again.

He has it so bad that it’s pathetic.

“Is that all?” Michael asks, trying to scrape together some of his dignity.  Calum has been ghosting him for weeks, and a conversation about the bad heating isn’t exactly what Michael wanted from a real conversation with him.  He’s too tired for small talk and much too cold to be standing here when he could be under the covers.

“You’re shivering,” Calum says.  Michael hadn’t noticed the small tremors, but now that Calum pointed them out he can’t ignore them.

“Come on, Mikey,” Calum says, stepping closer.  Michael wants to lean into him and the warmth he promises.  “I promise it’ll be warmer if we cuddle.”

“Do you want to come in?” he asks.  Calum nods, so he steps aside.

Having Calum in his room again when the last time included one of the best and most overwhelming experiences of Michael’s life is weird, to say the least.  It’s like Michael can see two versions of him: the current Calum, wrapped in a blanket and closed off in every conceivable way, and the Calum from that night, laughing at all of Michael’s jokes and spouting off facts about gravity to explain how they kept getting closer and closer.

“See, everything with mass exerts gravity on everything else, except typically it’s not enough to be noticeable compared to the gravity of the Earth.  Your gravitational field must be really strong today.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“No, Michael, you idiot.  Stop misinterpreting what I’m saying!”

Calum surveys the room, the safety light reflecting off the snow outside just enough to give him silhouettes to work with.  Michael wonders what he’s remembering.

“How do you want to do this?” Michael asks when the silence has stretched on for too long.  Calum shrugs, so Michael climbs up onto his bed, sliding under the covers and leaving a corner flipped up in invitation.  Calum hesitates, and for a moment Michael thinks he’s going to turn tail and run, but he throws his blanket on top of the covers and joins.  The bed is too small to avoid some awkward elbows and involuntary brushes of clothing, barely big enough for one person, let alone two.  Michael holds his breath while Calum gets somewhat settled, pressed against the wall to give him as much room as possible.

“It’ll be warmer if we’re touching,” Calum whispers, words hitting Michael like a shout with the close proximity and otherwise silence of the room.  If the lights were on, Michael would probably be able to count his eyelashes, but now his face is a combination of different shadows.

“How do you…” Michael trails off.  Calum reaches out first, a cold hand wrapping around his own and pulling him closer.  They end up with Calum on his back and Michael’s head on his shoulder, legs tangled together.  Michael’s sure that Calum can hear how loud his heart is beating, but he can feel Calum’s own beating in a similar pattern so he can’t be too upset about it.  He can hear every inhale and rustle of clothing, can feel the soft cotton of Calum’s shirt against his cheek and smell the faint remains of his soap.

He’s warm.  It’s not the burning heat from their last night together, but it’s almost worse with the gradual way that Michael can feel himself unthaw in his presence, slow enough that he could forget it’s happening only to wake up as an irreparable puddle.

“Okay?” Michael asks, sending flashbacks to the last few times he had asked that question and Calum’s answers: always positive, whether a verbal yes or a nod or a fierce kiss and wandering hands.

“Yeah,” Calum says.  Michael swallows.

Calum starts tracing a design on his back with his finger, barely-felt with Michael still bundled up.  Michael wills himself to stay in the moment rather than slipping into the past or wishing for a different future.

It’s not bad like this.  He gets Calum close at least, receiving that little piece of contact from him that he’s been craving.  If this is the last time they’re like this, he wants to enjoy it if he can.

He shifts, Calum freezing under him for a moment until they both exhale and relax a little more.

Michael closes his eyes and wills himself to sleep.

“Michael?” Calum whispers after a few minutes.  For a moment he considers not answering, sure that anything Calum might think to say in the dark of the night will be something he doesn’t want to hear, but all he’s been asking for the past few weeks is his attention, and it seems vindictive to reject it now.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Michael should ask for clarification on what, exactly, Calum is apologizing about.  He’s opened the door to this conversation, and Michael should take the opportunity to finally walk through and get their wires straightened out, but he can’t bring himself to do any of that, not like this.  Not when Michael is breathing him in and stealing his warmth and there’s absolutely nothing between them to act as a buffer.

In the dark cuddled up together, Michael can keep pretending that Calum isn’t about to crush him.  As long as he doesn’t ask for clarification, it’s like Schrodinger’s heartbreak: Michael can be both loved and lonely at the same time.

“Can we talk about it tomorrow?” he asks.  “We need to talk about it, but I’m tired.  And cold.  Not tonight.”

“Okay,” Calum says.  Michael waits to see if there’s anything else, but Calum just resumes tracing his secret design on Michael’s back.

Michael closes his eyes and hopes they don’t freeze to death in the night, twin skeletons found tangled together by some unsuspecting third party when the thaw comes.  He’s not sure when he falls asleep and begins to dream, but in his mind Calum presses a kiss to his hair and Michael tries not to let such a simple action break him.

-/-

When he wakes up the bed is cold and empty again.  It shouldn’t be surprising, certainly not after last time.  There was less expectation to stay here, but everything is ugly in the cold light, shattering the fragile balance of the night before.  Michael feels a pit in his stomach, but also a hot flare of anger.

Calum is the one who came begging for his company yesterday after completely ignoring him for weeks.  Calum is the one who left without a trace after Michael showed him he loves him the best way he knows how.  Calum is the one who keeps running away from this, but Michael is the one who keeps getting hurt and that’s not fair.

It’s a little warmer in the building now, the heaters likely getting sorted while they were sleeping, but Michael still grabs a blanket.  No one answers Calum’s door and the bathroom seems to be empty.  He heads downstairs to see if he has set himself up in the lounge again and knows he’s on the right track when he starts to hear piano music drifting softly towards him the more he descends the stairs.

Calum is one of the only people who ever uses the grand piano in the lounge.  It’s slightly out of tune, just enough for Michael himself to notice but for Calum to complain about a lot.  Michael has spent a lot of later nights in the lounge listening to him play, whether he was practicing back when he used to be a music major and take lessons or just playing for fun.  Calum curses a lot when he practices, but Michael has also caught him with his eyes closed and a content smile on his face, letting the music take him away.  Watching him like that, Michael sometimes wonders why Calum switched from music to science, but the rarity of the moments makes them all the more special.

He’s playing a piece that he’s been working on for a while.  Michael tries not to disturb him, walking slowly towards the chess set where another piece has been moved in a continuation of the game.  Calum must have pulled the curtains by the windows up, deep drifts of snow piled against them and sunlight reflecting off the white to set the entire room aglow.  In this setting and with this soundtrack, the morning feels less frosty.

The last note hangs suspended in the air and Michael holds his breath until it dissipates.  Calum sighs, breaking his posture to slump down, and turns to face Michael.

“You’ve gotten better at that one,” Michael says.

“Easier to practice when I don’t have to go to the music hall and no one’s here to use the piano.”

Michael studies him, taking in his rumpled appearance.  He doesn’t look like he’s been up that long, still in the same pants he went to bed in and already folding the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands to keep them warm.

The sweatshirt he’s wearing is one of Michael’s.  His heart flip-flops.

“Did you want to talk now?” Calum asks.

“Yeah,” Michael sighs.  Calum nods once.  He scoots over on the piano bench, making room, and Michael gingerly sits next to him.  After a moment’s hesitation, he offers part of his blanket, nearly sighing in relief when Calum accepts it.

“I’m sorry for how I left, and for not replying to any of your messages,” Calum begins.  “That was a jerk move.”

“It was,” Michael says.  “You’re my best friend, Calum.  If I had known that’s how you’d react, I wouldn’t have--”  He stops, because he doesn’t want to say he regrets sleeping with Calum unless he has to.  It would be a lie.  He’d rather have Calum as a friend than nothing, but the will-we-won’t-we would’ve killed him eventually, and the night itself was amazing right up until Calum left.

“I don’t want to jeopardize that,” he says instead.  “You mean a lot to me.”

Calum presses his lips together.

“Why did you leave?” Michael asks.  “I thought we were on the same page.  I mean… you wanted it, right?  You said you did.  I thought you did.  I didn’t--”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Calum interrupts.  “I did want it.  I really wanted it.  Too much, probably.”

“What does that mean?”

Calum sighs, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his sleeves again.  Michael wants to know why he’s so nervous.  He wants to grab his hands and hold him steady the way that Calum does for him when he’s freaking out, but that wouldn’t be welcome right now.

“Michael, I can’t do something casual with you.  You’ve said before that you’re not looking for anything serious, but I can’t be friends with benefits, not with you.  Not when I’m in love with you.  It’d tear me apart.”

“What made you think I wanted something casual?” Michael asks.  “Apparently you couldn’t tell, but that night was kind of a big deal for me.  I’m not exactly known for sleeping around.”

“Michael--”

“I’ve been crushing on you since we met, okay?” Michael says, turning to face him more fully.  “I wasn’t looking for something serious with anyone else because I’ve been hung up on you.  That night was one of the best nights of my life, and then you weren’t there in the morning.  I thought I had fucked up.  I thought I had ruined one of the most important relationships in my life.”

“You didn’t,” Calum says, grabbing his hand.  “I should have talked to you instead of running away.  That’s on me.”

“Yeah it is,” Michael sulks.  “Why didn’t you?  Why’d you just assume what I wanted instead of bothering to ask me?  That hurt, Cal.”

“I know.”  Calum grimaces, then shrugs.  “I don’t know.  I thought I knew what you wanted.  Or didn’t want, I guess.  I didn’t consider that you could like me until you kissed me, and you’ve never shown interest in an actual relationship.  I wasn’t ready for you to reject me.”

“But I wasn’t going to,” Michael says.  “You’re you.  You’re the exception.”

“I didn’t know that, though.  We didn’t exactly sit down for a conversation.  Our mouths were otherwise occupied that night, if I remember correctly.”  Michael opens his mouth to protest, then snaps it shut.

He doesn’t remember exactly what he said in the heat of it, but he remembers biting back I love you, knowing it was too early to be throwing that phrase around, no matter how true it was.  Maybe he ended up hiding the sentiment a bit more than he anticipated.

“You still should’ve talked to me,” he says.

“I know,” Calum replies, squeezing his hand.  “I’m sorry.  I’ll do better with that.”

Michael squeezes his hand back.

“So,” he says, “you like me?”

“Yeah,” Calum says.  “A lot.”

“You got that I like you, too, right?  I said that.  I’ve had it bad for you since we met.”  Calum frowns.

“You took a while to warm up to me.  I thought you were still holding a grudge because I spilled your smoothie.”

“No, you had me tongue-tied,” Michael says.  “I had to figure out how to function around you.  You’re really hot and it made me flustered.”

“Shut up,” Calum says.  He’s blushing, crimson staining his cheeks enough for Michael to see, sending a strong thrill of satisfaction through him.

“I’m serious,” he needles.  “You’re ridiculously attractive, dude.  You’re not going to hear the end of it from me now.  I’ve said it once and now there’s nothing to stop me from saying it five times a day.”

Calum laughs and tucks his face into Michael’s shoulder.  Michael feels his own happiness bubble up inside him, threatening to burst.  He brings Calum’s hand up to his lips and kisses the back of it in an attempt to release some of the pressure.

“Are we boyfriends now?” Calum asks.

“Fuck yeah,” Michael says.  “Unless you don’t want to be, but that’d be lame.”

“I want to be,” Calum says quickly.

“Good,” Michael says.  “Then we are.”

“Good.”

They sit for a while, and this silence feels comfortable again, like their old ones.  Michal could stay suspended in this moment like the final note of Calum’s piano song and feel content with it rather than uncomfortable.  That more than anything lets him know they’ll be okay.

“I’m cold,” Calum says eventually.

“We should move by the fire.”

“We should eat breakfast,” Calum counters.  Michael hums and gives Calum’s neck an exaggerated sniff, making him squirm and giggle again.

“You should shower,” he says.

“Fuck you.  That’s rude.”

“I could join you?” Michael offers.

“These showers are not big enough for two people,” Calum says.  “Nice try, though.”

He stands and kisses Michael on the forehead, tucking the blanket back around him.

“Can I kiss you properly?” Michael asks.  Calum nods and leans down again, the gentle press of his lips both familiar and thrilling, sweeter in the morning light.

“Breakfast, then I’m going to shower alone, then I think we have a chess game to finish.”

“Or we could make out all day while we have the lounge to ourselves.”  Calum considers him, tilting his head and giving a wry smile.

“We can do that if you win the chess match.”

“Deal,” Michael says.  It’s an easy bargain, because Michael is better at chess than Calum is, and with that prize on the line nothing’s going to distract him.

“Breakfast,” Calum repeats, tugging on his hands until he’s standing, too.  Michael leans forward and kisses him again, just because he can now.  Calum beams and leads him to the stairs, Michael tripping over his blanket and Calum’s laugh filling the room.

It could just be the heating kicking in more, but Michael isn’t sure he needs the blanket right now, not when Calum is here warming him from the inside out.

[norisxfics]

NCT 127′s Dorm Maid: Ch. 5 - Yuta

Title: NCT 127’s Dorm Maid

Genre: smut

Chapter: 5

Characters: Yuta x oc/reader

Chapter Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Contains: Dom/sub, spanking, restraining, choking, hair pulling, deep throating, teasing

Summary: When NCT’s Dorm maid falls ill, her niece takes her place and becomes NCT’s new dorm maid. NCT weren’t unfamiliar with the girl as she has substituted for her aunt many times before. But this time it was different, this time she was going to become their permanent dorm maid as her aunt was forced to retire because of her health. NCT members quickly grow fond of the girl, but little did she know this also meant that she was going to be a hell of a lot more busy than she expected.

For some reason in the past few days Yuta would often glance at me or stare me down as I worked, even when I wasn’t wearing anything revealing or provocative to give him a reason to stare so much. Sometimes he would even purposely drop something on the floor for me to pick up and he would watch as I did. It was kind of annoying I won’t lie but the way he would look at me got me feeling all hot and bothered.

He was kind of cocky with me at times, which was also super annoying, but god damn it it was also so hot. It got me thinking about how cocky he’d be in bed.

One day I decided to nag about the toothpaste that was always left open and the pile of clothes I’d find on the floor of the bathroom and anywhere else.

“Okay, I’m getting sick of this, who is it? Who’s the one leaving the tube of toothpaste open, and who’s leaving clothes on the floor? Are you that lazy? The basket is right there, how do you miss the basket, I don’t understand,”

The boys stared at me and Jaehyun pointed at Yuta “It’s him, he’s the culprit,” I glared at Yuta as he nodded his head and admitted it.

“It’s not that hard to put the cap back on the tube, what are you so in a hurry for that you don’t close it? It literally takes like a second, and the clothes? Like I said the basket is right there, I swear if you can’t just do the simplest of things then I feel sorry for your future spouse,”

“Ooo Yuta is getting nagged by the maid, he fucked up,” Mark snickered.

“And? You’re our maid, it’s the maid’s job to clean, so why should I do all that?”

The boys and I all stared at Yuta, our mouths gaped open. I closed my jaw and crossed my arms under my chest “Fine, you keep doing that, you’ll see what happens the next time I find those things like that,”

“What are you gonna do? Spank me?” He raised a brow, leaning back against the sofa with his arms crossed, one leg crossed over the other, and I swear I can see a small smirk forming on his lips.

So I smirked back “Is that what you’re into?” I shrugged “I’ll make sure to buy a paddle just for you then, little prince,”

“Hohooo shit! She just called Yuta a bottom,”

I smiled sweetly and turned away to make my way into the kitchen.

~

~

~

I was relaxing on my sofa in my bathrobe after a nice soak, reading a book as I drank the strawberry milkshake I had made for myself when the sound of my doorbell caught my attention. I set down my milkshake and book, fixing my robe on me to make sure I was covered as I went to the door monitor to see who it was.

On the camera I saw Yuta with a box so I quickly opened the door “Hey Yuta, what’s with the box?”

“Taeil’s mom sent us some homemade kimchi and he told me to bring some down for you,”

“Oh! Thank you, you can just set it down here,” I stepped back and opened the door wider for him. Yuta stepped inside, placing the box down.

He turned to face me and he not so subtly looked me up and down. He stepped closer to me and reached over my shoulder, shutting the door behind me, moving closer to me as he did so. I instinctively stepped back as he got closer until my back hit the door. He had me pinned, one hand resting by head against the door as he traced my jawline with the back of his fingers with his other hand as my heart pounded against my chest.

He let out a soft hum, as if in thought “You know, you lied to me the other day, you thought I wouldn’t find out?”

“Lied? About what?” My voice came out small, his intense stare was intimidating.

“Usually people try to hide evidence better than that, did you think I wouldn’t notice the used condom sitting on top of the pile of trash in the trash bin when I went to check on Jungwoo?” He tsked and shook his head “Just like that day with Mark, you think I didn’t know about that? You really need to work on your discreteness,”  My eyes widened when he mentioned Mark.

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he scoffed, he was now smirking at me, his face inches from mine, his fingers slowly moving down my robe, gripping onto the only thing holding my robe together and keeping my body from being exposed.

“I saw it with my own two eyes, I decided to keep quiet thinking you two had a thing but…with Jungwoo…I realized you’re just a horny little girl,” He tugged on the belt of the robe, the fabric now hanging to the sides, my bare body now uncovered. I shuddered as the cold air hit my body. He pressed his body against mine, burying his face against my neck, kissing and sucking my skin as he worked his way up my jawline, to my ear, whispering huskily.

“Now tell me cutie, how kinky are you? Because I’d really love to rough you up right now, I want to see what a dirty little girl you really are, make you beg for my cock,” my breath hitched and my thighs pressed against each other on their own to create friction as a shudder of excitement raced down my spine.

My hands clenched onto the front of his shirt as I gulped down hard before answering “Let’s just say, there really isn’t much I’d say no to,”

“I like that answer,”

He pressed his lips against mine, hands roaming my body, massaging my breasts. He pressed his thigh up between mine, pressing up against me and I began to move my hips against his thigh.  He lips parted from mine before latching them onto the skin of my neck. I rested my head back against the door, letting out a sigh as I grew more and more aroused.

Yuta soon lifted both of my legs up to his waist and I wrapped them around him, my arms snaking around his neck. He then proceeded to carry me into the living room, setting me down on my feet in front of the coffee table. He pushed my robe off my shoulders, and it slid down my arms and onto the floor. His hands then fiddled with his belt buckle before pulling it off.

“Hands behind your back and turn around for me, princess,”

I did as told without hesitation. I felt him tying my wrists up with his belt. He then turned me back around to face him, giving me a soft kiss on the lips before guiding me down onto my knees.

“Let me see that pretty little tongue of yours, princess,”

My lips spread apart and I hung my tongue out for him. I looked up at him, my breath growing heavier in anticipation. I watched as his fingers moved to open to the button and zipper on his pants before pulling his erection out. He was definitely a bit bigger than Mark, girthier too. I glanced up at him and he ran his fingers through my hair while he used his other hand to bring his cock closer to my lips, teasingly tapping it against my tongue.

“Do you want it princess?” He asked, his voice dark and low.

I let out a soft whimper and a nod response. He smirked.

“Do you want to taste it? Feel deep down your throat? Does my little princess want to choke on it?” I once again nodded, squirming a bit as I whined for him to let me taste him. He soon stopped stroking my hair and gripped onto a bundle of my hair tightly, pushing my head forward, pushing his erection into my mouth. I immediately wrapped my lips around him and began to suck on his length, moving my head forward and back.

He soon pulled my head back to let me catch my breath. “Can you hold your breath for long?”  

“Yes…”

“Let’s test that out then shall we shall we?”

He pushed the tip of his cock back into my mouth before roughly pushing my head in, I gagged as he pushed himself deep down my throat, tears forming on the corners of my eyes. He let out a deep groan, the sound of it sending a shiver of pleasure down my spine. I pressed my thighs together and squirmed as I grew more needy for him. He held my head in place for a few seconds, my eyes looking up to find his.

His eyes soon met mine “you look so fucking good, princess,” he soon began to move his hips, slowly fucking my throat as he let out soft moans. He let me catch my breath again for a moment before resuming his actions, this time he was rougher. His hips thrusting forward hard as tears rolled down my cheeks, saliva escaping my lips and down my chin.

After a couple more thrusts he pulled out and let go of my hair, watching as I was panting, admiring my tear stained face. He soon lifted me and bent me over the coffee table, his hands roaming my ass, he lifted his hand, landing a hard spank against my ass/ he then leaned forward and pressed a kiss where he had spanked me before biting down and sucking. I let out a soft whimper, I was sure he had left a mark.

He soon spread my legs open “you’re so wet for me, princess,” he let out a chuckle, this time biting down and sucking on the back of my thigh as his thumb teased my wet throbbing lips, moving it up and down as he played with my juices.

“These marks are for whoever else you’re fucking to see how much of dirty girl you are,”

I felt his tongue move along my folds , flicking against my clit, before hips lips latched around it. He sucked on it for a bit before dragging his tongue back up between my folds. His fingers spread my lips open and I could feel staring at my exposed entrance. I could feel myself turning red with embarrassment as he did.

I then felt his tongue push itself into me, moving along my walls, sending shivers up my spine, a moan escaping my lips. He let out a soft hum as he moved his tongue inside of me before it pulled out and found its way back to my clit, teasing it he sucked on it and grazed his teeth against it.

“Yuta,” I breathily called out his name, “I-I need you, please,”

“I can’t hear you, you’re gonna have to speak up, Princess,”

I raised my voice and begged “Please, Yuta, I need you inside me, I want to feel your thick cock inside me,”

“Since you asked so nicely,” I could hear him move behind me, he then lifted me onto my feet “where’s your room?”  I nodded my head towards my bedroom door before he led me to it. He helped me onto the bed, making me lie on my stomach before stripping his clothes off, letting them drop to the floor.

He soon climbed on top of me “do we need a condom?” I shook my head “I’m on the pill…” “Okay good,”

He then soon began to tease my entrance with his cock, I let out a whine in protest, pressing my ass back against it.

He let out a soft chuckle “so eager to have me stuff you with my cock, hm? So adorable,” I bit down on my lip and he finally pushed himself into me, eliciting a moan from me. He pushed himself deep into me as he leaned his body forward, pressing himself down against my back and tied up hands, his arms resting at my side as he buried his face against my neck.

He began to move his hips once I had adjusted to his size, his breath hot and heavy against my neck, sending shivers down my body. It didn’t take him long to start thrusting roughly into me, hips moving more quickly. I moaned more loudly this time, I could feel his lips smirking against my skin before he moved to press a kiss to my shoulder.

“Tell me, did Jungwoo fuck you this good? Does he make you feel as good as I do, princess?” I bit down on my lip, unable to answer as I was too lost in pleasure and lust. I soon felt his fingers move to the front of my throat, before he squeezed, choking me and bringing his face next to mine as he slowly pulled his hips back, then suddenly thrusting hard and deep into me. I gasped and whimpered, my wrist trying to fight the belt, I wanted to grasp onto something.

With a deep husky tone, he whispered against my ear “No need to answer me princess, I already know the answer,” he chuckled before resuming his previous hip movements. Pounding into me roughly. He soon loosened his grip on my throat, allowing me to breath.

His hip movement soon stopped, pulling himself out of me and I let out a whine “fuck...don’t stop,”

“You think I’m going to leave today without hearing how loud you can get?” He snickered pulling my hips up, lifting me onto my knees, my upper body still lying against the bed. I felt him gently rub a small area on my ass before landing a few smacks against my skin. He pushed himself back into me, his hand grasped onto my hair before tugging on it, lifting my body up closer to him.

My walls tighten around him at his actions. One of the many things I loved was getting treated roughly and getting my hair pulled. He pressed a soft kiss against my ear “remember to stop me when you need me to,” he was voice was more gentle this time, I nodded “rough me up, baby, pull my hair, choke me, i don’t care,”

I could feel him smile against my ear before he pressed another kiss. He began to thrust his hips into me again. He would often slow down only to suddenly pound himself back into me. My moans got louder, filling the room.

Eventually he had untied my hands, laying me onto my back before finding his position on top of me again. I wrapped my arms around his back, digging my nails into his shoulders as he continued to fuck me. We were both sweating a lot at this point, our breaths hot and heavy as the sounds of our moans and the sound of our skin slapping against each other filled the room. His hand wrapped around my throat once more as he choked me again, I could feel my blood rush to my head as I gripped onto his arm, digging my nails unintentionally into his arm as the pleasure filled my body and mind.

My back arched up as I felt myself grow closer to my climax. I squirmed underneath him, my walls tightening around him once again. He loosened his grip just a bit for me to breath before tightening it again, I moved a hand down between us to rub my own clit as I grew painfully close. I let out a curse and Yuta let go of my throat as he realized it “fuck, come for me princess,” my body convulsed underneath him as I loudly moaned out his named for the neighbors to hear.

“Shit, I love how loud you are,”

Yuta continued to move inside of me, before pulling out of me. He jerked himself off until thick streams of ecstasy squirted out, landing on the top of my abdomen. I looked down at it then back up at him, my chest rising and falling as I caught my breath. Yuta reached for the tissue at my bedside table to wipe me off before lying down beside me, pulling me into his embrace and I turned to face him, wrapping my arm around him.

He caressed my face, pressed a soft kiss to my forehead “how are you feeling, princess?”

I let out a soft hum, my voice barely coming out as I tried to speak “I’m fine,”

“Do you need anything? Are you in pain?”

I smiled at his concern and shook my head.

“I should probably ask you if you need anything, I think I gave you a few scratched,”

He let out a soft laugh and shook his head “I think I’ll be fine.”

[smutty-ki113r]

Hiya! I saw your blog and was interested in asking for a romantic matchup! You can involve nsfw if you would like.

My name is Ronan, my nickname is Ro, my most used pronouns are she/her/he/him. My sexuality is demi-sexual meaning I don’t get sexual attractions to people unless I have formed a strong emotional connection with said person. My zodiac is Scorpio (that’s pretty much all I know about that lmao) also my personality is ISTP-T

Starting with my mental trash I have a VERY low self esteem. I never liked the way I look and probably never will. I suffer from chronic depression that’s pretty much taken over my life. I have a very hard time with social cues and can come off as an asshole most of the time and I’m extremely blunt. People tend to think I’m cute since I’m fairly small; I’m a 5’3 Nordic female with thicker thighs. I am absolutely OBSESSED with The Legend of Zelda franchise, it’s been apart of my life for as long as I can remember. I’m pretty musical; I play bass, drums, and sing. I also voice act so that’s really fun. Not gonna lie I say I have a huge ego but really I just hate everyone. Having depression I mostly lock myself in my room and work on my art.

How I look: I have black/brown hair in a boy cut. I have big round hazel eyes, my face is round with slightly chubby cheeks and freckles. I want to get my lip pierced but sadly have not gotten to that yet.. My fashion sense is kinda everywhere but I typically go for the cottage core aesthetic. I love muted nature ish colors, I think they look so pretty. I love to go on long walks and sit alone at my local park. I find being alone outside very calming. When I’m not outside or in my room I’m mostly playing video games with my friends and kicking their ass. Believe it or not I used to do boxing but now I just lift weights and workout some. I have a long history of physical illnesses that really render my body kinda useless so I always try to strengthen myself up however I can. I spent most of my childhood in the hospital due to these illnesses. I have been homeschooled my whole school years but I taught myself German, Japanese, and computer science. I actually have a job around it. I’m terrible at explaining my feelings and asking for help so telling people I love them is a huge chore for me. A lot of the time you can find me alone singing to myself with my eyes closed daydreaming.

I love to read. My friends say I’m really boring but whatever. OH I’ve always wanted to be a DJ. I know its a really weird dream but it just looks so cool. Nobody ever expects the sick quiet girl to want to be a DJ. Speaking of shy I’m a huge introvert if you couldn’t figure that out already. I’m extremely shy, don’t talk to me I’ll run away or you’ll be enveloped in my Zelda talk. I have amazingly crazy music taste (according to my mom) I listen to mostly heavy metal and Corpse Husband.

NSFW: Huge HUGE brat. You want me to do something? Yeah fuck you. I’m a huge sub you can pretty much do anything to me. I have a big daddy kink like please let me call you daddy UGH. Also praise but degrade me at the same time? Please thanks. I’m also a pillow princess. Um um ddlg yes thanks.

I match you with…..💖BEN_DROWNED💖

NSFW bellow~

OK OK I KNOW I KNOW, DON’T @ me for picking Benny boy for you Ro. I just think it’s the right fit. Let me start off with the whole depression thing, BEN relates to locking himself in his room and hyperfixating on something. At least you’ll have a gaming buddy to get you through it. Plus, he’s a very competitive guy. Get him to not cheat and you will have fun for hours. Not to mention you sound a bit like Jeff in the way that you can come off as rude. BEN and Jeff are pretty good friends, so you’ll make a wonderful partner for BEN.

Voice acting? BEN will love that, he’ll try to get you to do different characters from his video games or even anime characters. He loves your chubby cheeks, likes to squish them and make them puckered and then give you kisses. It’s quite adorable. Zelda talk? Yeah you don’t need to worry about him running off about that.

BEN will be obsessed with the cottage core, probably likes those little white flowy dresses. Maybe one day wear those elf ears and surprise him, I think he’d think it’s cute. You should definetly do his makeup, put that holographic glitter on his cheeks and some hair clips in his hair- maybe a skirt if he feels up to it.

BEN is very understanding about your illnesses, in fact he would be super impressed that you even lift weights. And is so so supportive about you wanting to be a DJ. He gets excited and calls over Jeff to show him. He’s not very shy about saying I love you, maybe the first time but after it’s constant affection.

For the smut! He can get rough sometimes, loves the daddy kink. He’s the type to soak all that up like a sponge. Praises you for taking his cock so well but will call you pathetic for making those noises. Probably wants you to wrap your thighs around his head and suck your clit for hours, he likes to feel you cum.

Ok Ok I hope you enjoyed that! I love how you have a big ego and then- low self esteem, sounds like me. I literally hate myself so much and then… holy shit I’m the hottest person alive. I know what depression is like, those thoughts just wrap around your throat and choke the life out of you, and it’s not even fast. It’s every day just heavier and heavier, dragging you down and making you feel horrible. I mostly lock myself in my room too, but writing helps me through it. I love love love your hair, boy cuts are so cool. And get that lip piercing! IT WOULD LOOK AWESOME. I love that you’re talented in music, I wish I was musically inclined. Scorpios are so cool, like I said, my best friend is one and so I LOVE YOU GUYS.

I am so incredibly proud of you, homeschool and then the illness stuff must be so hard but you are so strong for going through it. You don’t deserve it but sometimes life works that way. It’s ok to be shy and introverted. For the record, I think you would make an awesome DJ. DO it, I believe in you, so should you. I mean we all have our passions, work hard enough and I promise you’ll get there. I used to write a lot about my feelings and nobody ever read it, but I continued and look where I am now! Im so proud of myself for having this account, and you for being ALIVE. Thats all you need to do, you don’t need to be cool, or popular or skinny to be an amazing person.

Ro, I swear you are an awesome person. I can clearly see it, and I promise one day you’ll look in the mirror and think the same. If your friends say you’re boring they aren’t your friends. They sort of suck because reading is so cool. Without readers I couldn’t be a writer now could I? I believe in you. I know you can do it. Lifting weights is so badass I couldn’t even- I can barely do 5 pound weights man. Ya know I believe that the people who go through the most pain and sadness are the ones who will be the happiest in the end. The universe has to give us back what we lost, there is balance in everything and pain is only temporary. Everything is temporary. So I promise it’ll be ok man, and hey, you’re valid. I see you ro, and I know that you’ll make great places someday.

[queennicoleinboots]

A Special PBC Royalty News Report by Stan Doe and Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles

"PRINCE BANANA ICE SHUT UP! WE'RE ABOUT TO BE LIVE!" King Bruce Ice shouted as he wore a huge silver crown on his head. He was staring at Prince Banana Ice.

Prince Banana Ice still couldn't stop giggling. He had a gold crown over his more ridiculous mohawk.

"You already are, King Bruce Ice," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles spoke.

"OH SHIT!" King Bruce Ice said with a loud growl.

Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles started laughing. "I love this job."

Squire Blinky was wearing a blue sash over his shoulders with his light teal long-sleeved button-down shirt and blinking the news.

Count Vanilla wore a black cape with his white polo shirt with the pocket on the left breast. He was growling the news.

Prince Banana Ice was giggling as he translated what they were saying, "Hahaha. I'm sorry. This is definitely going on Youfail.cahm. But yes, Jaybird, a goat who is literally a GIANT FLOATING HEAD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." He was snort-laughing and failing miserably to contain himself.

"I'm sorry, PBC viewers. My son uncontrollably laughs literally when he sees a floating head. He gets that condition from his father. Jaybird, the giant floating goat head, will tell us the significance of AI script writing and its reflections on the living beings' condition as soon as my son stops hysterically laughing... I'm surprised his larynx still works," Queen Gloria spoke as she wore a bright gold intricate crown on her head.

Prince Banana Ice was covering his mouth and had his head on the desk as he was heaving and laughing.

"Thank you, Queen Gloria," Jaybird said as his head took up the entire screen.

Prince Banana Ice lost it and literally fell out of his chair laughing. The other members of the royalty news family stared at him with concern. Count Vanilla suppressed a giggle.

"Seriously. What the hell is so funny about my floating head?" Jaybird asked. "Is he good?"

"No, he's fucked up," King Bruce Ice said as a matter-of-factly as Prince Banana Ice was laughing hysterically and flying around the studio with his rocket shoes yet again. Blinky and Count Vanilla were now laughing hysterically.

"CLEARLY!" Jaybird's voice boomed as he, too, started laughing uncontrollably. "Chrissy, submissive queen of laughter tolerance and nomenclature, can you please close-caption my broadcast. Hahahahahaha! I can't do this. This is the second time that RIDICULOUS bear has started flying around the studio while laughing hysterically for no... HAHAHAHAHAHA apparent HAHUEHA reason!" The flying goathead was now laughing, crying, and shaking.

The news crew that were off-camera were also laughing.

Chrissy, comedian who also was breaking down with laughter, was putting closed captions on Jaybird's floating head. They read:

"In my opinion, the most interesting part of Bouregard [the AI playwright] has been his way of teaching us patterns in science fiction storytelling. Bouregard's writing sounds original and crazy, but it's still based on what living beings actually write. Oscar the Grouch calls these results the 'average' of everything Bouregard looked at. Certain phrases kept coming up again and again. There's an interesting recurring pattern in Moonfall where characters say, 'WHAT IS THAT?!,' 'NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!,' and 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BECAUSE I SURE DON'T.' They're questioning the environment and questioning what’s in front of them. There's a pattern in sci-fi movies of characters trying to understand the environment. Interestingly, Oscar the Grouch has developed a writing pattern similar to Bouregard. He just regurgitates on the paper and hopes the audience likes that written vomit flavor of the week. Xara's writing has become more and more like that. It shows how much of a joke the writing community has become in 2021. When the writing becomes degenerate, the whole society becomes degenerate. I'm actually trying to write a REAL memoir with Sci-Fi tropes. I'm not regurgitating, but if I did, who the hell would care, ya know? Does anyone really know what's going on in the writing community anymore?"

"Frankly, I'm not sure. Your report seems to sum it up, though. Thank you for your report, Jaybird," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said while trying to be serious again.

"You're welcome, Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles. I'm in pain from laughter. Thank you," Jaybird said as he was trying to breathe.

"You're welcome, Jaybird. I've been trying to write, but between having to file five weeks of paperwork to even get on the Green Planet in the first place, getting everyone off of the ship, feeding 46 very hungry pups, and having back to back broadcasts, I just don't have the time. The public doesn't know what secretaries GO THROUGH," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said.

"PREACH! Being a secretary is a nightmare. I had to file two weeks of paperwork to merely deliver goods to... Prince Banana Ice... I can't get over that name. And that was horrid. Aye. I couldn't imagine the paperwork for permanent residence on this planet," Queen Gloria said.

Prince Banana Ice's rocket shoes were tied together and hanging like Christmas lights on a clothesline over the entire royal newscast. Prince Banana Ice was wiping his eyes and trying to compose himself.

"It was drrrrrreeeeeaaaadful. Speaking of secretarial work, where the hell is Xara? And more importantly, where is PRINCE PETER WALLACE PARKER!? I haven't even so much seen her or HIM in the break room lately! What is going on?! They are scheduled to do reports! Especially Prince Peter," Chrissy, submissive queen of nomenclature with many titles said strongly.

"I have no idea, but Xara's writing is definitely funny at least. As for Prince Peter, he has mastered the disappearing act. No one ever knows where he is," Pastor Penn said as he wore a gold sash over his gray polo shirt. He changed shirts in the commercial break.

"I quite agree. It's sensational in the most unsensational of ways. It says a lot and says nothing. It's the most untalented talent I have ever had the guilty pleasure of reading," Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets spoke as he wore a small silver crown on his head.

"I share your sentiment, Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets," Pastor Penn said.

"Admittedly me, too. Ummm... Xara's writing... ummm... is so bad that it's good.... uggghhhh.... I'm good with her NOT doing her broadcast right now," Prince Banana Ice stammered as he nervously looked around the room and tapped his fingers together. "And-and-and I'm definitely not ready for Prince Peter. Not even a little. Nope Nope Nope nope."

Count Vanilla growled eighteen times.

"I know it's not technically my choice of when their broadcasts are due, but ummmm..." Prince Banana Ice spoke softly as he looked down at the desk and blushed.

"Why does it matter when they are broadcasting?" King Bruce Ice asked.

"I believe I know the answer," a tall black goat with a melodic deep voice answered. His fur was brushed perfectly, and his soft brown eyes glowed in the lights.

"Please enlighten us, Stan Doe. We have to do something while Xara and Peter are making us wait!" Chrissy, sub with many titles said with a loud sigh.

The camera showed Stan Doe wearing a gray suit, white shirt, and a red tie. "Yes. I am Stan Doe, a brother reporter of Chrissy and her unlimited titles. Prince Banana Ice is not ready for Xara's or Prince Peter's broadcast because they are XARA's and PRINCE PETER'S broadcasts. It's not the content. It's the people reporting them. Also, pronouns are important," he spoke in a deep voice. He was more intelligent than most other goats.

"Correct! Wow! Someone who understands me!" Prince Banana Ice shouted with glee.

"Okay," King Bruce Ice said with his eyebrow raised. "Why are you not ready for XARA or PRINCE PETER to report?"

"OH COME ON! DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN THAT ON INTERGALACTIC NEWS?!" Prince Banana Ice shouted as the blush deepened on his face as he untied his shoes from the clothesline quickly.

"Probably not," Pastor Penn stated.

"Thank you," Prince Banana Ice said as he put his shoes back on. He was probably ready to use them at any minute.

"But I will," Steve Doe said as the camera went back to him. "Prince Banana Ice is nervous around most females and males he thinks are more attractive than he is. When in company of several females or very attractive men, you will find him hiding on the ceiling or under a desk. Why? Even *I* have no idea."

Prince Banana left his crown on the desk in front of his chair and was off-camera.

King Bruce Ice chuckled. "So... when are Xara and Prince Peter getting here?"

King Joebear intercepted the transmission with his naked black bear body and a gold crown on his head. "GQ?"

"National Geographic," King Bruce Ice said. "By the way, I guess every bear in the League of Extraordinary Bears is now in the Royal Court of Royal Bears. More news will be reported on the Royal Court of Royal Bears when we figure out who is doing what role in the Royal Court of Bears. But luckily, we have ironed out most of the members in the Royal Court of Royal Bears. Again, more of the story will come."

"Yes, Bruce... King Bruce Ice. I noted the crown. I've been busy playing Magic The Gathering. It's degenerate, so it isn't newsworthy," King Joebear said.

"You play MTG, too?!" Prince Banana Ice asked as he leaned into the camera and looked at King Joebear.

"Yes. Do you?" King Joebear asked.

"Yes. I'm only *the* Master Deck Builder on this side of Glorgia," Prince Banana Ice said with a smug smile.

"No, dude. That title belongs to me," King Joebear spoke.

"...Doubt it," Prince Banana Ice said with a smirk.

King Bruce Ice growled to stop that conversation. "Where is your wife, King Joebear?"

"Queen Xara is actually taking a dump. She apologizes for being late to the broadcast," King Joebear said.

"THE MORE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS, IS SHE ALL RIGHT?! AND DO YOU KNOW WHERE PRINCE PETER IS?! I MUST KNOW IMMEDIATELY!" Chrissy, sub of many titles shouted.

"Yes. She is watching your broadcast and taking a dump. I haven't seen or heard from Prince Peter in weeks, Chrissy... are you royalty?" King Joebear asked.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WOULD NEVER INSULT THE WORD 'ROYALTY' BY ASSOCIATING MYSELF WITH IT! KING JOEBEAR, you honor me, but I do not deserve that honor," Chrissy, sub of many titles said dramatically.

Everyone clapped. Chrissy, sub actress of nomenclature, was a great actress. She should have been a Broadway star.

"Thank you, everyone. Does anyone have any pressing news while we wait for Xara, OH MY GOD... NESS! QUEEN XARA! I REPEAT, QUEEN XARA! EXCUSE ME!" Chrissy, Submissive Drama Queen said as her greenish yellowish hazel eyes were about to pop out of her head.

"Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy, you're all right," I said as I showed up on the screen from the neck up.

"Oh heavens, Queen Xara. I missed you! Are you ready to do your broadcast?" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked. "And do you know where Prince Peter is?! Also, a side note. I need that video AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!"

Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy wanted a private video of my audition to be a news anchor should my cleaning business have trouble getting registered with the local government in 2022 due to jab requirements that I will forever refuse to comply with.

Prince Banana Ice screamed and flew up to the ceiling. How the hell does he stick to the ceiling? Is he a spider bear?

"No. I'm not. Hehehe. I'm looking for Prince Peter, too. I assume he is hiding from the world due to another strain of the Plague appearing. I noticed that he was having more difficulty floating than usual. Maybe he is having second thoughts about being jabbed again. I am sorry that I haven't done the video yet. I have been busy with... stuff," I said as I looked at Prince Banana Ice now sprawled out on the ceiling as he tried desperately to hide from the camera. I giggled. "Is Prince Banana Ice good?" I giggled again.

Prince Banana Ice hyperventilated as he stared at me from the ceiling with wide eyes before he gulped. "Yeah. I'm fine up here. REALLY! Quick, can someone else do a broadcast?" Prince Banana Ice asked.

"Yes. I can. And it is very urgent! ....Queen Chrissy, can you provide me with an hour to broadcast? This is very urgent!" Pastor Penn asked.

"Hang on. Xara, dammit Queen Xara. What the hell is wrong with me tonight?!" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked.

"You're nervous, Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy. What do you need?" I asked.

"May I give Pastor Penn 60 minutes of air time?" Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy asked. "I need something to keep my mind off of PRINCE PETER'S ABSENCE!"

"Oh yeah! I love Off Grid Desert Farming with Penn and Alexia. Best news channel ever," I said.

"Thank you, Xara. You're one of my favorite contributors. I'd love to talk more, but I have GOT to get this news out," Pastor Penn said.

"No problem. Pastor Penn. You have the floor," I said.

"Thank you. And we must thank Squire Blinky, Count Vanilla, Prince Banana Ice, Queen Gloria, King Bruce Ice, Jaybird, Stan Doe, Queen Chrissy, and last but not least Prince Oliver: Werewolf of the United Planets for their contributions to today's broadcast," Pastor Penn said.

Everyone thanked Pastor Penn and nodded to him. Prince Banana Ice chuckled one last time before he flew the fuck out of the news studio.

"Thank you. We will be right back with a 60-minute special with Pastor Penn and Off Grid Desert Farming with his wife, Alexia after another 15-minute commercial break and another long period of time before PRINCE PETER ARRIVES! GOOD HEAVENS!," Submissive Drama Queen Chrissy spoke to the camera with a needy look before dramatic elevator music played in the background.

[perfeggso]

Noir (yutae)

Week IV pt. 2

Tokyo – fall of 1983: Nakamoto Yuta is quickly rising in the ranks of one of Japan’s most notorious yakuza families, and he’s poised to climb even further if he can stop himself from being ruined by the pretty Korean boy who’s shown up out of nowhere.

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6  | Chapter 7  |  Chapter 8  |  Masterlist

Glossary of Japanese words

Characters: Yuta x Taeyong + NCT ensemble, Twice J-line (for funsies)

Genres: Gang!AU, angst, smut, fluff, 1980s!AU

Warnings: graphic violence, swearing, minor character death, alcohol use, mentions of drugs, period-typical homophobia, xenophobia, BDSM

Rating: 18+

Length: 6k

In the days that followed, Taeyong declared that he was giving himself three short-term goals.  “Oh yeah?” Yuta asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.  “What would those be?” Taeyong elaborated: Goal number one was for Taeyong to get his friends, new and newer, to help him be a better gangster.  So, Yuta arranged for Sicheng and Yukhei to take Taeyong to the training room for workouts and, once he’d confirmed Taeyong was comfortable with it, to have Ten give him more “lessons.”  Yuta had sat in on their first session, watching in pained silence as Ten used one of his long metal pins to tether Taeyong to the ground through his shoe and then attacked him.  Yuta then enlisted Dejun, Yangyang, and Kunhang to teach Taeyong (and Mark and Jungwoo for good measure – they needed some review) how to follow people effectively and avoid being followed.  According to Taeyong’s recounting, it had been exactly like Yuta’s own training, each of the Inagawa members taking turns slinking around the backstreets of Kabuki-chō and getting critiqued by the Triads afterwards.  Yuta let Taeyong hang around when he discussed strategy and finances with Doyoung, Taeil, Johnny, and Jaehyun.  Taeyong didn’t really understand any of it, nor did he need to, but Yuta figured it was good for him to feel like he was getting the whole picture.

Taeyong’s second goal, he said with almost too much confidence, was to get Yuta to fuck him as much as possible without it becoming a distraction, and it’d been going well for both of them.  Taeyong had slept over at Yuta’s place three out of the last four nights and Yuta started taking a kind of dirty pride in the way his regiment grew used to seeing Taeyong in his clothing.  They’d started experimenting explicitly with dom/sub dynamics and their own kinks, one of Yuta’s favorite moments coming when Taeyong accompanied him home after a long day.  He’d fixed himself a drink and sat, legs spread over his couch and arms elongated over its back, the drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  Since that night, Yuta had to stop himself intermittently from getting half-hard at the memory of Taeyong trying to get off grinding on his thigh, Yuta more or less ignoring him as his clothes soaked through with his sweat and he cried in frustration into Yuta’s shoulder for him to just do something – touch him, degrade him, anything.  Yuta even impressed himself with the willpower he’d used to keep Taeyong strung out like that.  So yeah, Taeyong’s second goal was going just fine, Yuta would say.

Goal number three was the most complicated:  It was for Taeyong to make up his mind about what he’d do after the Mitsubishi deal (hopefully) went through.  As promised, Yuta tried to remain removed from Taeyong’s decision making process, even if Taeyong would sometimes come to him with questions.  Would they be able to keep seeing each other? Whether Taeyong stayed or left, they could still be together, Yuta had answered, although part of him worried that if Taeyong left he’d find someone he liked better the minute they no longer shared a lifestyle.  But that wouldn’t be the case if Taeyong left after officially joining, right?  Taeyong had clarified.  If he changed his mind too late?  That’s right, if you leave too late, you leave everything for good.  It’s okay, Yuta had told him, don’t force yourself into a decision until the deal’s been worked out.    

Yuta’s goal, on the other hand, was simply to stay sane and focused, and enjoy everything while it lasted.  Specifically, he wanted to enjoy cooking takoyaki, Osaka’s specialty food, for Taeyong one night after a rare day off, and he wanted Taeyong to enjoy eating it.  He wandered around Taeyong’s kitchen, alternating between muttering to himself and asking Taeyong why the hell it was so hard to find anything in there.  Yuta paused before his metal mixing bowl, trying to remember what the next ingredient for the batter was supposed to be.  

“You sure you don’t want help, babe?” Taeyong asked, and Yuta looked over to where he was sitting on the little table he kept in the kitchen, swinging his legs over the edge and giving Yuta moon eyes.  He almost laughed.  Taeyong had been nervous to have Yuta over, endlessly denigrating his apartment to the point that Yuta would have thought he was being invited over to a literal shack if he hadn’t already seen the building once, so Yuta made a point of fawning over the small space the second he arrived.

“No, darling,” replied Yuta to Taeyong’s question.  “I told you, this is my treat.”

Taeyong shrugged as a new Blondie song started to play from his record player in the living room.  “Suit yourself.”  Yuta stretched his shoulders, finally remembering that the egg was supposed to come next.  He’d learned how to cook from his mom, but that meant that sometimes his recipes were more like distant memories from ten to fifteen years ago.  Yuta hummed along to the music, turning to search for the egg carton in the fridge.

“So, can we go over this one more time so I don’t screw it up?” Taeyong asked.  Yuta was losing track of the number of times Taeyong had already been briefed on their plans for Minatozaki Sana, but if he needed to hear it again to feel secure, Yuta supposed he’d play along.  

“Sure,” Yuta confirmed, cracking one egg into the half-finished batter.  “But there’s really not that much you have to do, Taeyong.  I just told you the whole plan so you won’t be caught off guard by anything.”

Taeyong practically buzzed against the table below him. “Right, so basically I’m going to stand by her door while you and Doyoung convince her to flip on Yamaguchi.  There’s a window in the entryway, so I’ll have an easy view out if anyone comes, but I need to be sure not to be seen from the other end.”

“Exactly,” said Yuta, whisking.  The yellow yolk was swirling into the sticky mixture like streaks in hair.  “I don’t anticipate it taking too long, but I can’t make any promises.  If she resists, you just stay at your post and we’ll deal with her, unless she makes it all the way to her front door or something.”

Taeyong nodded, his legs knocking against the table’s. “What’s ‘not too long?’” he asked.

Yuta thought for a moment.  “Twenty minutes to an hour.”

“Alright.”

“Alright?”  Yuta finished mixing his batter and tapped the butt of the bowl against the counter several times, looking quizzically at Taeyong.  “Is that all clear?  Can we talk about something not work-related now?”

Taeyong smiled.  “Yeah we can,” he agreed, and Yuta let out a sigh of a laugh.  “Like what?  Is gang talk stressing you out?”    

Yuta sniffed the batter.  It smelled like it had enough dashi in it, so he figured it was fine.  Now where did Taeyong keep his soy sauce?  He rattled through Taeyong’s drawers as he answered.

“Honestly, a little bit.  This is the most responsibility I’ve ever been given, and I want it to go well.”

When Yuta looked back to Taeyong, soy sauce triumphantly in hand, Taeyong’s face had contorted to show his own worry.

“Wait, you’re really anxious about it?” he asked.  “I was sorta joking.”

Yuta set the bottle down on Taeyong’s green plastic countertop, making his way to the table.

Taeyong pouted as Yuta’s palms pressed over his soft cheeks.  “I’m a little anxious,” Yuta admitted, a warm feeling flashing through his chest at the sight of Taeyong’s face all squished up, “but I gave you your job description and worrying about my anxiety is not included.  Got it?”

Taeyong smiled sheepishly.  “Got it.”

Yuta let go of Taeyong’s face and returned to his cooking project.  “Just wanted some time together where I didn’t have to worry about work.”  He dumped some of the soy sauce into his batter and started to stir again.  He registered a little giggle coming from Taeyong.

“Anything I can do to help destress you?” he asked slyly.  Yuta mixed harder.

“Yonggie, now is not the time…”

Taeyong just shook his head.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Yuta tried to ignore the not-so-subtle look Taeyong was giving him, opting to divert the conversation to ask where Taeyong’s takoyaki griddle was.  Taeyong hopped off the table, mouthing the words to “Heart of Glass.”

“I’ll get it,” he offered, crouching next to the low cabinet where he kept his pots and pans and extracting the desired item.

“Thanks.”    

Taeyong leaned against his counter and watched Yuta rub oil over and then pour the batter into the six half-spheres in the cast iron griddle.  Yuta inserted the octopus bits, tenkasu , beni shoga , and sauce into the center of each raw takoyaki, conscious of every movement under Taeyong’s sticky gaze but trying to relax by listening to Taeyong’s whispery singing.  Once sufficiently prepped, Yuta brought the griddle over to the table and turned it on, sitting to watch the food cook.  Taeyong sat across from him, laying his head against the wooden tabletop and blinking as heat started to sizzle from the takoyaki.

Yuta sighed, thinking.  Taeyong made him think a lot about a lot of things.  Some of it was serious like, was their relationship sustainable?  Was he blinded by his infatuation and risking too much for someone he’d know for barely more than a month?  Was Taeyong going to end up hurt?  Because if he did, it would be squarely Yuta’s fault.  Mostly though, the thoughts Taeyong prompted in Yuta’s head were less dire but just as invasive.  Yuta felt a rush at how gorgeous Taeyong looked like that, sleepily gazing and allowing himself to receive the care of someone else’s cooking.  On second thought …    

“Hey, so I know I just said now is not the time,” Yuta began, rolling his sleeves up as he registered the room warming and noticing Taeyong’s eyes on his arms, “but there might be something that would help me destress.  But uh, you might think it’s a little early, I’m not sure.”

Taeyong sat up, smiling.  “Oh?”  

“I think it would be fun to spend a night at a love hotel,” Yuta admitted, and a splotch of oil jumped out of the griddle as if to punish him for being pushy.  “ Ita !”  

Taeyong just grinned.  “Yuta,” he began, crossing his arms over the table, “why is that such a big deal?”

Yuta sighed, feeling like he was about to get laughed at.  “Because, I don’t want to take you to just any love hotel,” he explained.  He figured he’d gotten himself this far, he might as well finish digging his own grave. “I want to take you to the Alpha Inn.”  To his surprise, Taeyong didn’t laugh, nor did he look confused; his grin only stretched wider, giving him crow’s feet around his eyes. Yuta wondered if he needed to clarify what he’d said.  “It’s –”

“I know what the Alpha Inn is,” Taeyong blurted.

Yuta felt his face go small, the sizzling of the takoyaki turning to static in his ears.  “Oh, then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because,” Taeyong explained, “I was waiting for you to tell me why you were being weird about it.”

“Oh,” Yuta repeated, and Taeyong pressed on.

“So why were you?  I mean, we’ve already kind of established that we both like that kind of thing, right?”

Yuta was beginning to feel like a first-class idiot.  “Yeah,” he tried to backtrack, “but I think it’s a bit different from anything we’ve discussed.  There are whips and stuff on the walls there and…”

Yuta hadn’t managed to finish his sentence before Taeyong was laughing in his face.

“Yuta,” he said, “have you been there before?”

“Yeah, I have,” Yuta explained, growing indignant, “but you’re different too.”  Taeyong’s eyes rounded in curiosity.  “You are! I haven’t had many relationships so when I’ve gone there it’s been, like, with hookups who are there for a specific purpose.”

Taeyong wiggled his eyebrows.  “And what if I told you I’d been there with hookups before too?”

Yuta let out a breath of relief, settling into a more self-assured comportment.  He honestly should have figured.  Taeyong seemed to notice the change in Yuta’s body language, because he wiggled back into his chair, away from the table, and softened his face from the challenging aspect it had taken on before.  Yuta smiled in satisfaction.  “Then, I wouldn’t worry about anything but us enjoying ourselves,” he answered.

Taeyong smiled to himself as he looked at his hands in his lap.  “So, letting you take me to a BDSM-themed love hotel: that’s what I could do to help you destress before next week.  Glad I got that out of you.”

“But there are some things we need to discuss first,” Yuta said, figuring the takoyaki looked adequately brown and standing to find a couple plates and pairs of chopsticks.

Taeyong nodded.  “Of course.”

Yuta returned, having found what he was looking for with surprising ease.

“First of which being that we have to change up the title, ‘kay?”  He sat and turned the griddle off, using his metal chopsticks to pull out two takoyaki balls.  “No more Shategashira during sex.  I can’t be getting hard every time anyone talks to me at work.”

Yuta slid a plate of food over to Taeyong.  “That’s fair.  What should I call you, then?”

Yuta blew on his dinner.  “Sir?  Does that work?”

Taeyong smiled.  “Yes, sir .”  And Yuta smiled back.

“Perfect,” he remarked, hand reaching out to Taeyong’s hair on instinct. “You’re perfect.”

Taeyong nuzzled into Yuta’s touch, whining when Yuta pulled away.  Yuta was happy to have taken back control of the situation, but he also figured he needed to change the topic of conversation if he was going to be able to focus on his food.  Thankfully, Taeyong did it for him, picking up a ball of takoyaki and holding it near his face, expression contemplative.

“Smells good,” he said.  He blew on it until it had stopped steaming, then nibbled experimentally after a quick "itadakimasu."  Yuta still held off, all too familiar with the treacherousness of eating takoyaki.

“How is it?” he asked as Taeyong broke through to the molten center.  He paused.

“Yuta?” Taeyong began, holding the takoyaki to show off the liquidy center.  He started laughing and Yuta found himself hurled back into embarrassment.  “I don’t think it’s cooked all the way…”

“Shit, sorry!” Yuta spluttered.  “Here, give it back!”

Taeyong guffawed, letting some of the hot but nearly raw batter fall from his mouth to his cupped hand.  “What?”

“Just give it here!”

“Okay…” Taeyong handed over the mangled ball and watched Yuta return it to its iron slot, switching the griddle back on and trying to look competent.

“Guess this will have to do,” he said, placing his own serving back to cook more as well.  Yuta smiled to himself, propping the side of his head against his fist and his elbow on the table.  Taeyong smiled back and said in a small voice,

“I thought you knew what you were doing, Osaka boy.  I’m a good cook, you could have just let me help.”

Yuta shrugged.  “Maybe I oversold myself.  This’ll work though.”

Taeyong made a pained face (“I’m so hungry though”) and Yuta rolled his eyes.  

He became suddenly hyper-aware of the silence framing their conversation, so he got up to switch out the finished album while the food got done cooking.  

“What do you want me to play?”

“Kate Bush!” Taeyong yelled in response.  “’The Dreaming’ should be sitting right next to the record player.”

Yuta replaced “Parallel Lines” with Taeyong’s suggestion, dropped the pin, and returned to the kitchen as “Sat In Your Lap” began to play.  He also realized he forgot the mayo and the bonito for their dinner, and puttered around the kitchen again to find them, feeling like even more of a dumbass than he had for undercooking the food.  The takoyaki came out much better the second time around, and once it had cooled off, it was gone in a fraction of the time Yuta had spent making it.

“Okay, I guess you do know what you’re doing,” Taeyong admitted, his mouth contorting around a particularly large bite.

After eating, Taeyong insisted on doing the dishes.  Yuta took on Taeyong’s former position watching from the table, thinking to himself how lovely he looked in an apron, focused on getting everything spick and span.  Fuck, it was so domestic, and Yuta hadn’t had anything like it in so long.  Yuta was so shaken up about it he felt like the takoyaki in his stomach was trying to bust out through his belly button.

Taeyong glanced at his admirer as he scratched the suds from his hands into the sink.  “Stop looking at me like that,” he said.

For a mobster, Yuta had kind of a bad poker face when he wasn’t focused enough on it.  “Like what?”

“Like you want to…I don’t know, make me a housewife.”

Yuta rested his face in his hands.  “What if I do?”

Taeyong chuckled.  “First of all, that’s quite literally impossible.  Second of all, it makes me feel weird.”

“Weird how?”

Taeyong dried the metal mixing bowl as he spoke.  “Not sure how to explain it,” he said.  “Kind of itchy.  Like I want to hide?”

Yuta tried to calm down so he could stop the fascination from practically dripping over his face.  “Sorry.”

Taeyong put the bowl away.  “S’okay.  I’m also flattered.  Thanks for cooking, by the way – even if I gave you shit about it.”

“Of course.  It was kind of fun.”

Taeyong finished drying off and putting everything away, took off his apron, and suggested they retire to the living room couch to listen to their music.

Yuta sat down and let Taeyong situate himself so that he was lying down, head in Yuta’s lap.  Yuta played with Taeyong’s hair.

“Yuta?”

“Mm?”

Taeyong’s face had an air of stress about it, not like there was anything truly wrong, but more like he had a thought he needed to sort out.

“How did you figure out you liked guys?”

Yuta took a moment to process.  That was not what he expected Taeyong to ask.

“Oh, um, I don’t know, how did you figure it out?”

Taeyong scowled.  “I mean eventually it just sort of became obvious,” he said.

“Exactly,” Yuta confirmed.  “So, that’s not really what you’re asking, is it?”

Taeyong shook his head, skull rocking against Yuta’s thighs.

“Guess not,” he allowed, “How old were you though?  When you realized?”

Yuta pulled a strand of Taeyong’s dark hair until it stood on end.  “I don’t know, late teens probably, when I really sorted it out?” Yuta chuckled, calling upon some well-repressed memories.  “I had tried fooling around with girls at that point, and it wasn’t bad, actually.  I was very sure I was straight.  I liked the girls I was with – had a real fondness for most of them, but it was never very deep.  Momo and I even hooked up once.” Yuta laughed wryly as he watched a look of shock and, maybe jealousy? flicker over Taeyong’s face.  “Don’t worry,” he reassured.  “It was alright for me, but she made it very clear that it was never to happen again.”

Taeyong hummed thoughtfully.  Yuta wanted to grill him back, but it looked like he had another question brewing, so he stayed quiet.  “So, who was the first guy?”

Yuta breathed a laugh.  “Well, he was actually my boss when I was a Kumi-in…”

Taeyong’s eyes lit up. “Like us?”

“Kind of.  He was older though,” Yuta clarified.  He smiled, both in recollection and in amusement as he registered the dissonance between Kate Bush’s wailing singing and their quiet conversation.  “I remember thinking to myself, oh, now I know what this whole thing is supposed to feel like.”  By “thing” he meant to express the nebulous concept of attraction, love, relationships, lust; all those intangibles which tug at the heartstrings.  He hoped Taeyong would understand despite his lack of eloquence.  “He was the one who convinced me to go to the Alpha Inn the first time, but, uh, I was the one taking the orders back then.”

“What happened to him?” asked Taeyong, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands.  

“He decided this life wasn’t for him, so he left.  And, you know, if you do that you get excommunicated, banished – whatever you want to call it – so I haven’t heard from him since.”

Taeyong looked like he wanted to say something, then didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he said instead.  

The apology made a pang of guilt run through Yuta.  Here he was telling the sob story of his first love in front of poor Taeyong.  If he got uncomfortable hearing about Momo, why would he want to know this?  “Don’t be sorry.  I have you now,” Yuta said with a smile, and he meant it deeply.  

Taeyong sat up and sighed, eyes clouded over. “I just feel like this would be a lot easier if I wasn’t…you know…me.”  

Yuta felt like he had cold water rushing over his skin.  What was Taeyong getting at? “No, I don’t know,” he challenged.  

Taeyong refused to make eye contact and Yuta thought he saw the other man’s skin tone draining a bit grey.  “I keep thinking about Johnny and Mina,” Taeyong tried to explain.  “They seem so normal.  Like, they know what each of them is there for.  I don’t know how to explain it.  I just feel like if I were a woman it’d be easier and make more sense.  I wouldn’t be weirdly wrapped up in your work and having to make all these dire decisions and putting you in danger.  We could just see each other like average people.”

Yuta didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh.  He settled instead for gripping Taeyong’s chin with his fingers and forcing their eyes to meet.  “Taeyong,” he said softly, “I think you’re missing the point.”

Taeyong’s eyes looked glassy.  “Which is?”

“Which is that if you were a woman A) we probably wouldn’t have met in the first place, and B) I wouldn’t be as interested in you.” Yuta searched Taeyong’s face, awaiting a response.

“You mean that?” he asked, finally.

Yuta let go of Taeyong’s face.  “I do.  Why would I be lying?”

Taeyong smiled slightly.  “I dunno.  Sometimes you lie for fun.”

“God, Taeyong, not about stuff like this.”

“Alright,” Taeyong said, letting his smile extend and settling his back more squarely into the couch cushions.  “Sorry for being so insecure.”

Yuta took Taeyong’s hand.  “You and me both, baby.”

“Houdini” started to play and Taeyong closed his eyes, mentioning absently that it was his favorite song on the album.  When it was over, he spoke again.

“Mina warned me at the party,” he said, and Yuta was put on immediate alert by the threatening vagueness of the statement.  “Back at Johnny’s bar, we started talking.  She said I should leave as soon as possible and not get sucked in.”

Yuta stiffened, training his eyes on the stains in Taeyong’s rug and making a mental note to bring this up to Johnny.  “Well,” he began, “that’s her opinion.  It’s up to you to make up your own mind.”

“I know.”

Yuta laughed breathily, catching Taeyong’s drift.  “So, she told you that and then you immediately turned around and landed in my lap; let me pull you in deeper.  Was that a sort of decision?”

Taeyong nodded, squeezing Yuta’s hand.  “Maybe.  I just wanted it at the time.  I wanted a real reason to stay.”

Yuta tutted.  “I told you not to make me the clincher for such an important choice.”

“Yeah, but that was after,” Taeyong asserted.  “I think I’d already decided early on, even if I didn’t want to admit it.  Yuta?”

“Taeyong.”

He looked Yuta right in the eyes.  “I’m going to stay.  I invited you over tonight to tell you that I’m sure I want to join the Inagawa-kai.  I just didn’t know how to bring it up until right now.”

Yuta could feel the adrenaline coursing through him, like he was a candle wick being sparked; like he was about to go on a mission.  He was exhilarated at the idea that he’d fully gained Taeyong’s trust and admiration, that they would continue on as they had been; but at the same time, the possibility that Taeyong could get hurt or decide too late that he’d gone down the wrong path made Yuta’s blood run cold.

“You’re sure?”

Taeyong nodded.  “Yeah, I am.”  He looked at Yuta and smiled sideways.  “When do I get initiated?”

Yuta didn’t know how to respond to Taeyong’s sudden burst of self-assuredness.  “Well – uh – the Oyabun won’t let you until our current project is secured –”

Taeyong pouted.

“But!” Yuta had an idea.  “But, but, but, if you want, we can do something fun right now that might help.”  Yuta stood, about to head off to the kitchen until he remembered he didn’t know where anything was.

“What is it?”

Yuta placed a finger in front of his mouth.  “It’s a secret,” he whispered.  “But I need you to help me find some things.”

In a matter of minutes, they were back in the living room, couched in silence with the music having run out and kneeling at either side of Taeyong’s coffee table.  Between them, Yuta had set two empty masu cups, a bottle of amazake (since Taeyong didn’t have normal sake), and the knife that Yuta always carried around with him: medium-size and gunmetal grey with teeth like the one in the Rambo movie that had come out a year before.  Taeyong had stared at it almost in horror when Yuta took it out.

“Okay,” Taeyong said, eyes roaming over their spread.  “Now will you please explain this to me?”

“Sure,” Yuta agreed, grinning at his own creativity.  “So, you said you wanted to be initiated,” he began, “but you can’t technically do that for a bit, so I’m going to give you a little run-through; a rehearsal of sorts that can prepare you for the real thing while also making you feel more official right now.”

Taeyong nodded, looking sold.  “Okay.  What’s the knife for?”

“For when I sacrifice you to Amaterasu,” he deadpanned, and for a moment, Taeyong actually gaped.

“No, I kid,” Yuta said, cracking himself up.  “We’ll get to what the knife’s for in a second.”

Taeyong let out a confused breath, making Yuta laugh even harder.  Once he had contained himself, he went on.

“So, this will be the setup when you’re initiated.  Ideally there’d be witnesses, but you know.”  He shrugged.  “Okay, and you should know that I am standing in for the Oyabun .”

“You’re Goro?” Taeyong clarified.

Yuta nodded, pressing a hand to his chest.  “Yes, I’m Goro, who I don’t think you’ve met yet, by the way.”  Taeyong shook his head in confirmation.  “Soon enough, then.  You’re you, and what we’re going to do first is you’re going to hold out your cup to me and I’ll fill it halfway with sake.”

Taeyong followed directions, prostrating himself ever so slightly as he offered Yuta his cup and watched him pour the cloudy liquid inside.  Then, Yuta did the same with his own cup, passing the halfway point and filling it to the brim, images of his own initiation six years earlier flashing across his vision.  He’d been a baby in an ill-fitting black suit and Goro had looked more imposing to him than usual – like Mt. Fuji on a clear day.  He picked up the knife, remembering the sharp taste of Goro’s blood in a particularly strong batch of sake.

“Now we switch cups,” he instructed, and Taeyong obliged, eyes trained on Yuta’s knife.  They went wide when Yuta positioned his hand over Taeyong’s sake and cradled the blade so that it was invisible in his palm, although the implied pressure and discomfort made Taeyong’s face contort.  Yuta sliced shallowly into his palm, careful to adhere to the lines of his old scar as much as possible.  Taeyong’s gaze followed as a ruby droplet fell and dispersed into the alcoholic liquid.

“We could just get a raspberry or something if you have one and crush it into the other cup,” Yuta teased, “if you don’t want to do this.”  He grinned when Taeyong shook his head quickly.

“No, I can do it, Shategashira .”

“Good.”  Yuta wiped the blood from the knife onto a paper towel and handed the blade to Taeyong, who took it hesitantly.  “Just do the pad of your thumb for now,” Yuta suggested.  Taeyong hissed a bit as he cut into the flesh there and pressed down to force out a rivulet of blood.  Yuta realized he’d made a slight oversight when he registered that each of them now had one bloodied hand.  In the real ritual, this fact would have been ignored, but Yuta was already testing Taeyong and he didn’t want to also stain his nice bamboo cups.

“Gimme a sec,” he said, finding his leather jacket in the entryway and rooting around in it one-handed for another thing he always kept with him: bandage tape.  He called Taeyong into the kitchen and they took turns washing up and covering their self-inflicted wounds.  Yuta registered neutrally the kind of hazy and quiet state Taeyong was in.  Finally, they returned to the coffee table for the next leg of the ritual, starting off by switching their drinks back so Yuta had a full cup with Taeyong’s blood and Taeyong had a half cup with Yuta’s.

“What now?” Taeyong asked.

“Now,” Yuta answered, “you take the seihai-gishiki ; the oath of allegiance to me, Hirai Goro.” They both laughed at that.  “Repeat after me okay?”

“Okay.”

Yuta flexed his hand, still adjusting to the feeling of raw openness under the pink-tinged bandages.  "I vow never to reveal the secrets of the organization.”

“I vow to never reveal the secrets of the organization.”

“I will never violate the wife or children of another member.”

Taeyong balked.  “Wait, that’s kind of messed up,” he said, mouth poised to laugh.  “Why is that there?”

“Aish,” said Yuta in mock disappointment, “good thing I’m running you through this – Goro would never accept this interrupting.  Actually, the first ever yakuza clan in the 1700’s had a real problem with cheating and child molestation, so their boss had to make up this rule to stop it from turning into one giant super-illegal orgy,” he said matter-of-factly.  Taeyong’s eyes went wide.

“Really??”

Yuta frowned.  “No!!  You need to stop being so gullible with everything I tell you.”

Taeyong bowed his head several times while laughing nervously. “Ah, okay, okay, Shategashira .  Gomen , gomen .  Got it.”

Yuta smiled.  Taeyong was so damn cute it made his muscles hurt.  “It’s okay,” he said. “In all seriousness, I have no idea why that rule is there, but it’s a reasonable expectation, anyway.  Shall we move on?”

Taeyong nodded.

“Okay,” Yuta restarted, “I vow to have no personal involvement with narcotics.”

“I vow to have no personal involvement with narcotics,” Taeyong repeated.

“I will not withhold money from the gang.”

“I will not withhold money from the gang.”

“I will not fail in my obedience to superiors.”

Taeyong blinked forcefully and gulped before echoing, “I will not fail in my obedience to superiors.”

“Last one, okay?  I will not appeal to the police or other legal authorities.”

“I will not appeal to the police or other legal authorities.  Now what?”

Yuta picked up his cup with both hands.  “Now we drink.”

Taeyong followed his lead.  “Kanpai.”

“Kanpai.”

The taste of Taeyong’s blood was less harsh mixed in with this sweet type of sake, mellowed and drowned out until it was nothing more than a heady undertone, like the scent of skin.

They put down their cups once they had finished and stared at each other silently for a beat.  Then Taeyong broke into a grin.  “Did I pass?” he asked.

Yuta guffawed.  “Pass? This isn’t an exam.”  He cleared his throat and put on his Hirai Goro voice: gravelly and low and embellished by rolled r’s.  “But uh, yes, well done, Kumi-in.  Welcome to the Inagawa-kai.”

***

After the elaborate rehearsal, they had a bit of cleaning up to do.  Taeyong rinsed their masu cups in the sink as Yuta disinfected his knife and reinforced his bandages.

“The last vow reminded me,” said Taeyong, shutting the water off and setting the cups on the drying rack, “it only occurred to me after Johnny and Mina’s lesson the other day, but what if it’s not another gang that gets ahold of me?  What if it’s the police?  Wouldn’t they also interrogate me?”

Yuta burst out in laughter and Taeyong looked perplexed, leaning his lower back against the kitchen counter.

“Oh, sorry for laughing at you,” Yuta said, collecting himself.  “You’d have no way of knowing this.”  He walked over to join Taeyong.  “You don’t have to worry about the police,” he explained even if Taeyong looked dubious.  “I mean, if we like, killed someone in a public alleyway, sure.”  Taeyong’s eyes flickered in recollection.  Yuta continued.  “But if you’re just going about your business, they won’t dare take you in.  Most of them like us anyway – like that we instill a little fear and discipline into public life, that we rake in local tax revenue and do charity work, etc.  I mean they’re just as much thugs as we are, too, and I guarantee you in every ten cops you’d find at least three former wannabe gangsters.  Anyway, sometimes we get busted by national law enforcement, but you rarely need to worry about the local police; they only get involved if you kill someone, as I mentioned; if public opinion is especially bad; or if someone comes to them directly with proof of wrongdoing.”

Taeyong nodded heavily, taking in this new information with a mixture of horror and relief.

“I know.  It can be a bit odd at first,” Yuta offered.  “I imagine as a former street kid you’re not used to that kind of free reign.”

Taeyong shook his head.  “Yeah, m’not,” he confirmed.  “I used to get the cops called on me for standing wrong.”    

Yuta hummed a chuckle.  He didn’t doubt it.  His face hovered closer to Taeyong’s, drinking him in, and he paused over the scar next to Taeyong’s eye.  He still had never asked about it, so he did.

“Oh, this?” Taeyong said, pointing to the pitted skin.  He demurred a bit, embarrassed, and Yuta suddenly felt bad for asking.  “It’s not very interesting.  I used to have atopic dermatitis and I picked at my skin a bit too much when I got a flare up there.”

“I see,” Yuta said.  “Sounds irritating.”

“It was,” confirmed Taeyong.  “Did you have a theory about how I got it?”

“I didn’t but Doyoung did,” said Yuta.  “He figured you’d gotten it in a fight or something like that.  I didn’t really know.”    

Yuta thought he saw a shiver buzz up Taeyong’s body.  “Do you guys talk about me often when I’m not there?”

Yuta laughed.  “Only at the beginning,” He admitted, settling his elbows back on the countertop.  “You were kind of mysterious to us.”

Taeyong looked shocked.  “Me?  Mysterious?  Alright…”

“Well you showed up out of nowhere,” Yuta asserted.  “In fact, I got asked on separate occasions by Jungwoo and Jaehyun how I was sure you weren’t a spy.”

Taeyong spluttered.  “A spy?  That’s too wild.”

Yuta only shrugged.  If he was being honest, Taeyong was still a little mysterious to him.  He still wanted to turn Taeyong’s earlier questions about sexual awakenings and such back on him, but that could wait.  Taeyong pushed away from the counter and shifted so he was facing Yuta, his hands on Yuta’s shoulders.

“Want to dance?” he asked coyly.  “Just like after Johnny’s party?”

Yuta slipped his arms around Taeyong’s waist.  “How could I say no to that?” he teased, and they plodded like that back into the living room.  Yuta let Taeyong go momentarily to put on “Three Imaginary Boys” by The Cure, scooping him back up the second the music began.  Taeyong laid his head on Yuta’s shoulder and murmured into the base of his neck.

“I can’t wait to help you destress, sir.”

Yuta petted Taeyong’s soft hair with his bandaged hand and hummed.  “You’re too perfect,” he said, and he meant it deeply.