#resident_q

[thefederation]

CRYO INTAKE LOG: RESIDENT_Q

“So…I know I just manage the pods and it’s not my job to ask questions, but isn’t this a little risky?”

“I looked through the files and this is definitely our best bet. He’s got established rapport with multiple residents, but still spends a lot of time alone.”

“Yeah, but how’s it gonna look from the outside? He’s just gonna…disappear?”

“Shouldn’t bother anyone. He’s a single and he’s known to be irresponsible. Residents EM, CS, and BBH are the most likely to notice, but EM and CS are usually preoccupied with their self-generated telenovela.”

“…and the other guy?”

“Well, that’s what I said, but…well, boss?”

"Eh, don’t worry about it. Resident_Q is a total flake. He picks things up and drops them ALL THE TIME. BBH is nice, sure, but they’ve got plenty of reasons not to trust him. It won’t be a problem.”

"Say, [-------], don’t you think five people on ice is, like, a lot?"

“Its about which ones. None of the current popsicles really had time to make nice or have any gay sex. We’re thinking Res Q vanishes, comes back, sweet talks a little, and then he’s in with them.”

“Popsicles?”

“Yeah, popsicles.”

“Heh. Cute.”

“Your job is great, by the way.”

“You would. He’s all prepped and ready to go, do you wanna say goodnight?”

“Really?”

“Sure thing.”

“Ooh, yes PLEASE.”

“Mmm…”

“God, I love that look. Did you see his face when he came here and saw all the other pods?”

“Yes, boss.”

“So yummy. Aw, look how scared he is. What’s the matter, cutie? Can you hear us? You know nobody’s coming for you?”

“…You’re kind of a freak, you know that?”

“You and [-------] put a microphone in the Frenchman’s ass because you thought he was hot. I can do what I want.”

“100% Fair.”

“Y’all are a different breed.”

“You chose half the residents because you liked their tits.”

“WH- C’mon, you ALL liked their tits!”

“Final clearance was up to you.”

“You did have a lot of say in that.”

“Philza Minecraft was a logical choice and a FANTASTIC one to make! He’s SUCCESSFULLY IMPRINTED with Egg_03! We thought we were going to have to TERMINATE Egg_03!”

“Why was your first thought Philza Minecraft? Did someone mention Philza Minecraft?”

“I didn’t mention Philza Minecraft.”

“Oh my god.”

“Isn’t that the guy with a great rack or something?”

“I dunno. Hey, [-------], do you have the file on Resident_PM’s rack?”

“You know I’m HR right? I can report you both for sexual harassment.”

“You won’t. No balls. Alright, I’m bored. Freeze him.”

“Aye-aye!”

“Aaah, no, don’t freeze me aaaaah…”

“…”

“Alright. He’s down. I got a meeting with [-------] and [-------] now, I’ll be around.”

“Alright.”

“Later, boss.”

“God, I love this job.”