#repulsed seems like a strong word for what im imagining

[william-s-churros]

honestly im very torn between gay brad and non-sex-wanting asexual brad but im like :[ doesnt having him be asexual kind of have weird implications because of the trauma... but i am starting to realize headcanoning a minority gender and sexuality onto any character is basically going to have weird implications and i just have to live with that lol. gay brad is obviously very self serving because i love writing and drawing porn lol but im like you know. i could very very easily believe this dude has 0 interest in sex at all. but who knows..!!!! i don't. maybe ill just compartmentalize this like i do with my gender headcanons lol. like here's a version of this thing i believe in but also here's the other version which i also believe in. these characters are each like 5 characters to me lol. very "what if...?" about everything because people change over time and understand themselves thousands of different ways i guess (or something equally pretentious lol)

i have been thinking about this tho cuz i do regularly get stuff in my feed from the headcanons blog and i feel so bad for that person who saw that dumbass post about how gay sex with terry cured brads trauma which was definitely supposed to be a joke but i can only imagine that people who are frequently told that theyre just traumatized and that good sex can fix them might not find that so funny lol. i also dont find it funny personally because im a big ol fuddy duddy whos like ">:^[ thats not how that works..." and im a slut who loves having gay sex so lmfao. anyways...

[fandomsonrequests]

𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓..? [𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 11]

fandom: ATEEZ

characters: prince! park seonghwa

reader: fem! knight

word count: 3.6k+

summary:  It was time for another Selection. No- not a Selection for a bride but rather a well-trained knight to keep Prince Seonghwa safe after a failed assassination attempt. You, a blacksmith’s daughter, manage to make it to the elite group of knights worthy and skilled enough to protect the crown prince after months and months of training. This alone catches Seonghwa’s eyes- in more ways than one

a/n: part 11!! whew- i think its almost halfway? im sorry if the series is taking too long ;^; but thank you to those as well to whoever enjoys this so far! i really appreciate it! <3 

taglist: @iwanttohitmyself​ @minihongjoong @i-purrple-u @taetae123094 @jeonartemis @barcelona-sergei  @theoinkypiglet @sparklychangbin @krystal-cole @mangotexts @tooweirdforyou 

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The skies today were as blue as the crystal seas as fluffy white clouds filled the heavenly bodies. The sun peeks over The Capitol, basking the townsfolk in its bright but warm rays. The city village teemed with life as people went about their business. 

Today was actually a good day. But not for the delegates- today was the day of elimination.

The small dining hall the young delegates ate in was quiet. No one said a word, if they did it was done in tones no louder than a whisper. Only the ear-piercing sound of utensils scraping against the ceramic plate was heard along with the occasional clinking of mugs against the wooden table. 

The atmosphere was thick with tension. Each one of these young people felt as if they were Atlas, bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders. No one and nothing could ease them of the uncertainty on whether who gets to stay or not. Even the cockiest person among you was quiet.

You on the other hand felt as if the weight was doubled. You didn’t know how you would be questioned regarding the chapter you had painstakingly read. You had wasted so many nights and lost so much sleep over that you could only hope you didn’t fail whatever task Hae-seong had in mind. 

Breakfast passed by quickly and you soon found yourself lined up by the courtyard. Haeseong stood in front of you as Byron, and a few other knights, stood by the duke’s left. A rack of training swords was soon rolled in, the inanimate object seemingly taunting you. You knew the final exam was about to take place. 

“Delegates,” Haeseong called out in his annoyingly nasal voice. “Today is the day of elimination. We’ve reviewed your grades from training and academics and unfortunately, half of you are going home.”

A few gasps erupt from around you. You could feel your palms sweat with anxiousness and the fabric of the uniform seemed to itch more. You tighten your hands into a fist, silently praying that you’d pass this first set of eliminations.

“This just proves how incompetent you people are.” Haesong continued to earn a disappointed sigh from the large man beside him. 

“Nevertheless, it didn’t mean you didn’t try your best,” Byron interjected and sent a tiny glare to the duke who brushed it off nonchalantly. “Anyway, as your final exam- you’d be partnered off randomly to duel with the training swords.

“And for safety precautions, we shall be putting each of you in light armor.” 

You tense at that. Though you weren’t helpless when it came to swordsmanship- you weren’t sure if you were good enough either. Nevertheless, you just hoped you’d make it far. You glance to your right to see Siyeon’s lip quivering with nervousness. Your fingers discreetly tangled with hers, receiving a grateful squeeze of your hand in return. You send her a small smile to encourage her. Although she was still tense, she had relaxed a bit and had steadier breathing.

As you were all being suited up for the exam, a few of the royal court had come to watch. Among them were two of Hae-seong’s sons- the eldest who was a couple of years older than you and his youngest son who was only eighteen. You’ve seen them around the castle a few times. The younger, Minjae, was a bit spoiled but respectful nonetheless. He could be a little boisterous but you chalked that off to his teenage hormones. 

The eldest, on the other hand, Beom-seok, was just as nasty as his father or not worse. Not only was he prideful or an elitist, oh no- he had no respect in general. He would eye some of the female delegates like they were pieces of meat and pick on the castle servants when he walked around. What was worse is that whenever no higher-ups in the court were around, he’d strut along the palace as if he owned the place. He was disgusting but not many seemed to care because of his charming looks and stature in life. He had a strong jaw, a sharp nose, and fierce eyes. But his aura was just so repulsive not many really stayed friends with him. 

You saw him whisper to his brother as he glanced over at all of you. The pair snickered but the younger seemed to do so just to get his brother to shut up. Beom-seok must have been spewing some hateful stuff again so you chose to ignore him. Instead, you glance up the large window of the palace in the middle of the courtyard, hoping to see the prince. 

Seonghwa managed to plague your thoughts often ever since he had met you. He was just so different than you imagined- you didn’t think you’d grow fond of him in the way you do with your friends. You hoped that you do succeed in becoming his bodyguard because that way, you could still maintain your friendship with him.

As your gaze lands on the window, you see the prince looking down at all of you with interest. But beside him was Lady Ayeong, looking as ethereal as ever. A gentle yet curious smile was settled on her delicate lips as she surveyed over all of you. You found it hard to believe that an angel like her was the daughter of the devil. 

Seonghwa’s eyes meet yours and he sends you a subtle wink. You roll your eyes in amusement but nodded your head at him before focusing your attention on the knight in front of you to start donning the armor for the final exams. 

“Is it really this serious that light armor is needed?” Ayeong asks Seonghwa, looking up at him with a concerned glint in her eye. 

The prince merely nodded but gave her a reassuring smile in return. “Don’t worry. No one gets seriously injured during these. It may hurt but nothing that could kill.” 

Once you were all settled with the armor and the weapons, you were all ushered to the side as Byron called out two people’s names to duel. One was Julian- a city dweller with a flamboyant personality. His bouncy auburn hair glinted under the afternoon sun as he strolled up to the middle. His confidence was outstanding, it was his biggest asset. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be his biggest downfall either. 

The other was Gahyeon. You and Siyeon, as well as other folks from Trelark, sent her silent cheers. You all watched as both delegates took their positions across each other, arms raised and weapons held firmly in their hands. 

This was it.

Everyone watched earnestly as Gahyeon struck first, clashing her sword against Julian’s. The sound of wood on wood was heard throughout the courtyard. Several cries rang out and the nasty sound of splinters cracking soon joined in. 

By the end of the first duel, Gahyeon ended up with her back flat against the cobble and the wooden sword pressed to her chin. Julian was panting heavily and looked like he could collapse at any moment. Gahyeon proved that if she was going down, she was going to do so with a fight. 

Hae-seong says nothing, just dismissing the two and making them return to their spots in the line. “Julian wills the duel!” Byron announces before calling up the next two. 

Several more pairs came up. Some of the cockiest delegates had karma coming and lost the duel. Others surprised you like the quiet girl, Ursula, from the farming village in the South. She generally kept out of everyone’s business and was shorter than the average woman your age but she was quick on her feet and managed to take down her much bigger opponent pretty quickly. 

You were still marveling over Ursula’s assassin-like skill when Byron called your name. You snap out of your thoughts and head over to the middle where your opponent was already waiting. It was one of the bigger boys from the mining villages. You gulp nervously as you take your training sword from Byron and face your partner. 

You could feel your palms clam up and your heartbeat rapidly against your chest. The two of you assumed duel stances, swords in hand, waiting patiently for the signal to start. By this time, more of the royal court had come out to watch. You saw two young men that often accompanied Seonghwa stand off to the side. Maybe they were his friends but their presence just added some pressure to you. 

You inhale deeply and let out a shaky sigh right before Byron gives the signal. You make the first move, dispelling all your nerves with a short yell and bringing down your sword against your opponent’s. You managed to catch him off guard as he stumbled with his weapon, clearly not anticipating your strength. 

And for a short moment, you felt a bout of victory— that was until he pulled back his sword and swung at you. You stepped off to the side and blocked his blow, the force of the impact shot up your arms and to your shoulders. It was a rather harsh one, leaving you to grit your teeth to keep them from chattering. 

You step back when he swings at you again and you retaliate by blocking it off and swiftly following up with a slash near his middle. He narrowly avoids your move, hopping backward to do so. Your movements came right after the other, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You could practically hear your heartbeat thrum in your ears. Dust kicks up around you as you advance towards him, giving him blow after blow. Your opponent was left to defend rather than attack, his bigger stature causing himself to slow down at your faster movements. 

You felt confident that you’d win this duel. That is until Hae-seong calls out your name and distracts you. Your foot hooks against your ankle as you mean to step forward, causing you to trip. Your opponent takes this moment to swing his sword at your foot, making you fall onto your front. Several gasps were heard around you along with a ferocious cry. You look up to see your opponent actually bring down his sword against you. 

Luckily, you manage to roll away in time and the training sword lands against the spot you were on. “Are you crazy??” You exclaim. That blow could’ve killed you. You stumble back onto your feet, now weaponless as your sword had fallen out of your grip when you tripped. Your opponent takes a moment to kick away your sword and advance towards you.

You dodge another swing from him, shifting your feet to help you avoid him. “Aren’t you going to stop him?” You ask Byron and Hae-seong. The former remains silent but there’s a glint of sympathy in his eyes. The nobleman on the other hand simply grinned and shrugged.

“This is part of your test, _____. Remember the book I made you memorize? Well, I decided to quiz you— right now. I want to see how focused you really are.” He sneers. His eldest son laughs at his father’s words, making your blood boil. 

You eye your sword that was only a few steps away. Your opponent wasn’t an idiot— he knew what you were trying to do; he was doing everything to keep you from getting it back. But you were determined and stubborn as a mule. 

“First question, ______,” Hae-seong calls out as you step to the side and dodge another hit. “Name all seven kingdoms and what each are known for,” 

“The Nessa Empire: the kingdom near the sea,” You start out, trying your best to focus on the man in front of you while answering correctly. “Our kingdom of Sarem: the kingdom of the earth; the Kingdom of Velaris..” You continue on with the list and successfully manage to answer his questions.

This goes on— Hae-seong throwing question after question at you while you respond correctly- much to the duke’s annoyance. Of course, you would stumble every now and then, fatigue slowly creeping up on you, but you push through it. And finally, you see an opening. 

Your sword lay a couple of steps away and your opponent was far enough for you to reach over and grab it. You briefly glance over to the weapon and keep your gaze trained ahead of you. You patiently wait for Hae-seong to ask you another question, slowly inching towards your sword.

“Final question,” The nobleman huffed, trying to get you to mess up. “Sarem takes pride in our trade in grains and precious stones; true or false?” 

You almost answered “true” but you remembered what the prince had said the first night you met. 

“Don’t believe everything that book says— especially the part about how our kingdom trade works. It says something about grain or stones but that section is terribly inaccurate.”

You thought it was nasty on Hae-seong’s part to pull that trick out on you but you didn’t pay any attention to that. 

“False!” You answered just as your opponent was about to bring his sword down on you.  You rushed to pick up your own and swing it up to block his strike. This caught him off guard, allowing you to kick your foot out under him and make him lose balance. He falls flat against his back and you scramble to kick his own weapon away, pointing your sword against his throat. 

Byron takes this as a chance to end the duel seeing as both of you were tired. Your turn went longer than anticipated. “_____ wins this duel.” He announces, earning a few applause from the bystanders. 

You almost collapse to the ground in relief as victory floods your system. Thank the heavens. You helped your opponent up and gave him a bow of your head to which he responded in kind. You were still pretty banged and up and bruised since he got more hits in but it was all worth it to be able to make it past this final exam and to see the annoyance on Hae-seong’s face. 

It was obvious he hoped you would mess up but at least he knew to give credit when it’s due, even if it hurt his pride. He turned his pointy nose up and waved the two of you away to return to your spots and allow other delegates to go. “Moving on—“

You plop down onto your original spot, Siyeon shaking your shoulder excitedly. “You killed it!” She cheers quietly, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m so proud of you, Yellow.” 

“Thanks, Wolfie.” You reply, giving her hand a squeeze. 

You tear your gaze away from your friend and up to the window to where Seonghwa and Ayeong were watching. From your spot on the ground, it was clear that he had the brightest smile on his face.

“Her fighting spirit is commendable,” Ayeong praises, referring to you. She turns to her husband to be with a curious tilt of her head. “Don’t you think so?”

The prince felt his chest swell his pride, a warm feeling running through his veins. Though you two had met recently, he felt as if he was your friend for his whole life. He couldn’t help but feel proud of what you had achieved today. He nods in response to his companion. “I couldn’t agree more.”

The final dueling exams ended late into the afternoon. It felt exhausting to watch and go through- after all there were 20 pairs that had to go through this. Despite that- tensions were still high as everyone anxiously waited for their results. 

Some looked hopeful while others remained dejected. It was clear to some that they were convinced that they would be eliminated; regrets of not trying hard enough during the first few days due to their reluctance flooded their thoughts. Only hushed whispers and silent sobs were heard through the courtyard as everyone let their frustrations out.

Amihan scoots over to you as she clutches her splinted hand to her chest; she had fallen down during her duel causing her wrist to be sprained. Her face had dejection written all over it; it was far from her usually laid back look. Raviv follows behind her like a concerned mother hen, brows furrowed. 

“I think I’m going to be sent home,” She admits quietly to your group, eyes glazed over with tears that were threatening to fall. Both you and Siyeon immediately move to comfort her, taking her hands in yours. “I should’ve tried harder,” 

“Ami, you did your best. That’s what’s important,” Siyeon says as she comforts the older girl. “You’re such a fierce fighter Amihan. Maybe you’d pass.”

You nod in response as you offer your friend a comforting smile. “Just shout it out to the world and think of it, it's sure to happen.” 

Amihan only shrugged in response but thanked both of you nonetheless. She sat back on her heels and sighed, looking down to her palms. “Thank you for comforting me… but think it’s useless either way. I’m injured so I can’t go on with training.”

“Maybe they’ll excuse you,” Raviv interjects and settles a hand over her shoulder. “Please don’t be so down on yourself, Ami..”

Before any of you can say anything more, the duke clears his throat and catches all of your attention. He had a roll of parchment in his hand, most likely containing the list of all delegates who made it past the first half of elimination. Right now, there were fifty of you, twenty females and thirty males. All that could change after tonight. 

“I shall now be announcing the delegates who passed.”

Tension rises and a pregnant silence fills the atmosphere. It was absolutely suffocating. You could feel your heart beat erratically against your chest as you laced your fingers with both Siyeon’s and Amihan’s hands. You didn’t want to go home— not when you were this far. The weight of the pendant your father gave you seemed heavy against your chest, a constant reminder of why you were here in the first place. 

“Abel,” Hae-seong started listing out. One by one, a name was called followed by a deep sigh of relief. Stifled tears and quiet sobs were soon heard when the duke failed to call their name. 

One of those unfortunate ones was Amihan. When Duke Hae-seong continued on with the list, the names now starting with B, your heart fell. You look over to your friend who had a resigned yet accepting look in her eyes. You couldn’t believe it. Your friend was no longer going to be with you. 

“Ami..” You mutter quietly, chest heavy with grief. She only smiles at you, cupping your cheek and brushing away a hair that stuck to your face.

I’ll be okay. She whispers to you before doing the same for both Raviv and Siyeon. You felt numb. It was such a short time since you’ve known her but you’ve created a deep bond with her since your stay— it would be hard to see her go. 

The names went on and luckily, you, Siyeon, and Raviv was still safe. For a moment your solemn thoughts turned into relief. At least you were safe, you were still in the game. You still had the chance to win this thing. 

“That’s all, you are now dismissed. You may return to your rooms. To those who were eliminated, we thank you for trying your best,” Hae-seong drawls out, oddly chipper. Maybe he was just glad that he didn’t have to deal with any more “brats.” “A carriage awaits you tomorrow morning so I suggest you start packing up.”

Usually, the walk to the rooms would be lively and full of playful banter. Now it was just glum and filled with frustrated cries. Whispers of comfort floated through the air as the group parted ways to head to their respective rooms. But before Raviv could part with the rest of you, he walks over to Amihan and gives her a tight embrace. They exchange a few words, only whispered between the two of them, before separating ways. 

You and Siyeon were on either side of Amihan’s side as you walked down the hall, trying to make the most of your last moments with her. Your friend had long stopped crying, her tears turning down to sniffles. She was quick to accept her fate. 

“Well, at least I got to live in a palace for 2 and a half months.” She jokes in hopes to lighten the mood. “Even though it was a short period of time, I’m glad I was able to make friends with you two…”

She turns to both of you, pulling you to the side to allow others to enter the room without blocking the way. “I’ll miss you both.. better write to me or else I’m coming back here to hunt your asses down.” 

She managed to pull some laughs out of you and Siyeon before bringing you into a group hug. It was a bittersweet moment and none of you could stop the tears from falling. It was kind of cathartic to be able to cry after a long while, even if they were grieving their separation from each other. It was Amihan once again who pulled herself together and straightened up. 

“I hope one of you wins. And I know one of you will.” She says with such conviction in her voice it was hard to not believe her. 

As you help her keep her things for her leave tomorrow, you couldn’t help but allow this moment to fuel something within you. You had another person to fight for, and that’s exactly what you needed. If things were hard now, they were surely going to get harder. 

[hanadolphieron]

lunar artist!yeojin; chapter three~

warnings; space battles, yeojin and reader have beef now

genre; sci-fi, strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, angst

pairing; im yeojin x gender neutral!reader

word count; 2.3k

summary; your small crater town on the moon was rarely visited. one day, artist!yeojin travels all the way from mars to paint the serene, wistful scenery of your planet.

-----------------------------------------------------------

after the two of you suffered through that exhaustingly awkward moment, you both headed up to bed.

you gave yeojin your bed and snatched the sofa next to it. you could keep an eye on her that way.

not that she would attempt anything.

but you never know.

she might attack the fish who bit her and exact revenge.

and that would not end well.

yeojin sets on a solo adventure to find the bathroom, and you, completely oblivious to her quest, shuffle around the kitchen, cleaning up the small mess made by the pretzels.

she fails, somehow, and comes wandering back towards you. 

“where is the bathroom?” 

not saying a word, you lead her to it. 

“ah.”

“yeah. you can shower if you want to, all that dancing must have tired out your small legs.”

“hey! i’m not that short!” she says, reaching out to smack your arm. however, you’re too fast, and scramble like an egg into your room before she can catch you. 

you hear the bathroom door close. you’re safe. for now.

sitting on your bed, you write. jotting down notes about your emotions, what you’ve felt throughout the day, random doodles, it’s what you do when you’re bored.

you’ve never felt embarrassed that you do this, i mean technically your job is being a writer, considering your journalist occupation. although your company hasn’t communicated with you in, let’s see, 3 months? yeah. 

however, now that someone else is around you, you feel like you have to hide it a little. it reminds you of the way you’d feel when you were a kid, all nervous because their crush is near them, and they just have to impress them.

no idea why you feel like this around yeojin. it’s not like she’ll judge you. i mean, she will, but the connection between the two of you is already too strong to completely break, despite it only having been a week since you met.

thinking of yeojin seems to manifest her somehow, and she appears in your doorway.

“good evening,” you say.

she nods and mobilizes towards the bed. flinging herself upon it, you flinch back a little, still not used to fast-paced moves.

now that yeojin is settled, (although there is a lot of rustling) you lay back on the sofa, curled up in a fluffy blanket and a surplus of pillows. 

you used to sleep out under the stars, but you’ve grown so used to seeing them that they don’t bring the same kind of magic they used to. it’s pretty sad, honestly, that beauty seems to disappear after a while. 

yeojin breaks into your thoughts, “you said we could go ice-skating.”

she doesn’t phrase it as a question, but you know what she means.

“let’s go then,” you respond, effortlessly dragging yourself up from your den and treading barefooted through the house.

yeojin follows, her feet tapping quietly against the floor. 

going into the edge of the door, you look at the ice skates. you have two pairs. one for you, obviously, you do live here. the other one you bought in a romantic mood, hopelessly yearning for some long-lost love to come find you and ask you to dance on the frozen lake under the stars.

right now, the time has come for them to serve their purpose. not exactly how you were expecting it, but nevertheless, there is a, well, i guess you’d call yeojin a “love interest” wanting to ice-skate with you under the frosting of sparkles shimmering above.

yeojin reaches down, snatching the pair you just mentioned. wordlessly, you take your pair.

you go outside into the freezing air, which is more or less not even air. both of you are barefoot, having just gotten out of bed and neither of you are hooligans and sleep with socks on.

you don’t complain, neither does yeojin. she’s used to the hot atmosphere of mars, so it’s surprising she doesn’t react to the cold, but then again she’s also used to concealing emotions and being a warrior rivalling the spartans.

once you’re at the edge of the icy lake, you plop down on the ground and slide the skates on. yeojin does the same.

“i’ve never skated before,” she says.

“as expected. well, it’s okay, i’ll catch you if you fall,” you tell her, giving an easy smile.

you, on the other hand, are excellent at skating. it’s one of the only activities you’ve been able to enjoy here, and you’ve certainly spent lots of time on it. 

standing up, you start off without yeojin. i mean come on, you need to impress her at least once.

starting off with your left foot, you move up to a soft, swift pace. 

gliding across the ice, you swirl and pirouette in the air, landing on one of your feet, spinning.

you don’t look back at yeojin. instead, you quickly skate across the long side of the lake, going faster than yeojin ever thought was possible with ease. 

after performing a few more jumps, and even skating backwards for some of them, you slide back over to yeojin.

she’s standing there, wobbling a little, and practically falls over once she sees you heading towards her.

“wow, that was, woah, i,” she’s speechless.

you laugh a little, reveling in your moment of glory. taking her hand, (which is pretty brave for you) and help her onto the ice.

her small figure keeps the amount of imbalance to a minimum, and she seems to have pretty good control over her limbs, so the first few steps go well.

unfortunately, yeojin loses her footing after attempting to go faster, and flails backwards, almost bringing you with her.

however, your confidence on the ice and long arms stop her.

you catch her.

she’s now being held bridal style in your arms.

this is, well, one of the best things you’ve ever experienced. you’ve never held a girl like this, and wow does it feel nice.

she’s pretty light, and is floating in your hold.

her hair is soft, and it brushes up against your skin, making you shiver and giggle as it tickles you.

you’re not as awkward as when you’re on solid land, and manage to lift yeojin upright, still holding her hand.

she seems flustered, her cheeks dusted with a light layer of pink dust, matching the sigil on her forehead.

this seems to boost yeojin’s confidence, and her nerves disappear knowing she has a knight in shining armor ready to catch her if she falls.

going faster this time, yeojin squeaks along the ice, struggling in places, but she seems to be getting the hang of it.

“can i try one of those twirl things?” she asks you. her impulsiveness never fails to surprise you.

“no,” you chuckle, “but we can do this.”

you turn towards her, lifting one of her hands up. yeojin stares up at you, confused. 

“turn,” you whisper. 

she gets the memo, and awkwardly lifting one foot up, attempts a turn. 

you guide her through it. luckily, her hair doesn’t smack you in the face, you were a bit afraid of that.

the stars glitter above you, a constant reminder of your miniscule existence. it’s comforting somehow.

but right now you don’t feel small.

you feel bigger than you’ve ever felt before. like you’re more than just flesh with an intelligent, imaginative mind.

you’re part of something else, a feeling, an emotion, an act, you’re not sure. 

but you feel alive. and that’s all that matters.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“ehg,” a groan awakens you from a deep slumber.

yeojin is conscious, and ready to take on the world.

not really though, she seems a bit lost actually.

blinking and grumbling to herself, she sits up, blankets strangling her.

you watch her, one eye open.

“i have a plan,” she says suddenly, and with a massive burst of energy, leaps out of bed.

“ow,” she growls at herself, having damaged her ankle from the excitement of her actions. 

continuing on to the kitchen, completely unaware of the fact that you are awake, and does not care. 

she is hungry, and needs food.

you follow her, dragging yourself out of bed much slower than her gymnastics-worthy jump.

she’s already gotten into the pantry. you shove her to the side, looking in yourself. she flings open the other door and pushes you over.

grabbing a box of cereal, you sit down. yeojin snatches another one, than looks in the fridge, snatching a bowl and spoon on her way there. you don’t ask how she knows where all your cutlery is. probably guessed.

sitting down, gobbling up her food with the same repulsive but somehow endearing way of munching, she finishes off the bowl in no time. 

you expect her to make another one, but instead she licks her lips, looks at you and asks, “no milk?”

“huh?”

“you’re not having milk with your cereal.”

“milk is a drink and i can’t believe you eat it as a gravy.”

“well. i don’t agree.”

“sucks for you.”

“no it doesn’t. i have nice, soft cereal and you have crunchy cruanchy cereal.”

“you mean i have a beautiful, crisp breakfast and you have a mushy swamp.”

“no. that wasn’t what i meant.”

you open your mouth to retort, but she continues, “i have a plan.”

“oh wow. would you like to explain it?”

“no.”

“fine,” you say, but barely get a chance to spit the word out before being dragged to your feet.

“hey, what are you-”

yeojin pulls you towards the door. you follow her. what’s the worst that could happen?

‘wait here.”

“okay,” you comply, exhausted. how come sleep just makes you more tired? you were much more energetic last night, retreating to your bed with a wide smile on your face, eyes looking up at the ceiling, unable to close without seeing the adventures of the evening.

you wait. and wait. 

you hear an engine start. 

wait- you hear an engine start? you don’t have a vehicle? who? what? where? when? why? how? 

flying around the corner, yeojin, with a helmet, boots, and a whole driver’s outfit, sits atop some sort of mechanical thingo that you have never seen in your life.

you stand there, dumfounded.

“wha- where did you get that?”

“built it.”

“what do you mean you built it?! how? how talented are you?!”

“eh,” she says, shrugging her shoulders, “i’m made for this type of stuff.”

she are speechless and continue to stand there.

“well?” she asks, “are you coming?”

“we’re going somewhere?” you have no idea what is going on.

“yeah, that was my plan.”

“where are we going,” you are already moving toward her, sitting behind her, holding onto her back.

“somewhere,” she says. you can’t see her face now, but you’re sure she’s smirking.

before you’ve even a tiny bit situated, yeojin accelerates, throwing you to the side. you are left clinging onto her waist for dear life.

you can’t see much of the scenery flying past around you, but you think yeojin is going north, towards the lunar capital, bexyim.

still wondering how yeojin managed to find the parts to make an whatever this is, i mean it’s so fast? how did she do this? you don’t have any oil either? this madwoman is more powerful than you thought.

you gaze out to the side. something catches your eye. fire.

“wait, yeojin, stop!” you yell, your voice getting lost in the wind. she halts the vehicle, throwing you forward. you get out, looking up at the sky.

“what is that,” you say to yourself, not even realizing you’re speaking.

“come on,” yeojin says, sounding urgent, like she doens’t want you too see what’s happening, “we should go, i’m sure it’s nothing.”

but you stay there, looking up at the stars. this time, they’re not alone.

burning metal flies down to the surface of the moon a few miles away from you. you can smell the smoke from here.

it’s coming from up above. from a battle.

the sounds of laser and missiles hurts your ears. there are ships firing at each other, sending one another down to the ground, ruthlessly destroying each other.

and the colors. you know them well. silver and red. moon and mars. and the last silver one just fell.

you turn around, looking at yeojin. this is why she tried to get you to look away. away from the way her planet is murdering yours.

“this? this is what your planet is doing?” you glare at her.

“it’s not my fault, y/n, how could i stop this?” yeojin says defensively.

“why did you leave so early last week?” you question. it’s all piecing together now. the sigil on her forehead isn’t just a mark of the marsians. it’s a mark of the marsian warriors.

“i- y/n i don’t have a choice!” you don’t listen, already turning away. 

yeojin, the girl you were falling in love with, is fighting against your planet. the one you live on. the one where she is standing right now.

you start running. you don’t know where you going. but you have to get away from her.

you can’t believe it. there you were, falling in love with a person who is actively taking part in the long-standing oppression of your planet. 

you should have known better. marsians are always like that. never valuing peace. never caring about other’s lives, only worrying about themselves.

you go faster, heading towards bexyim. you can see the skyline over the burning horizon. it looks dark, darker than when you first saw it. 

it always happens like this. the “love of your life” betrays you and you run. escape from people and the disappointments they bring. 

this time, you’re escaping someone different. someone who you never thought would betray you, she had a warmer feel, one that didn’t seem manipulative, it felt honest.

but you still run.

and yeojin doesn’t bother to come after you.

----------------------------------------------------------- 

masterlist ~ previous ~ next

[rosesanthology]

Across time | Akaashi Keiji x F!reader [soulmate!AU]

for this one i tried a little bit of world building to put more context into some stuff as i suck at accurate and realistic historical aeras, this ended up being WAY longer than planned oof also YES i 100% took the well idea from Inuyasha👉🏽👈🏽

- Moeru Fukuro means blazing owl

- au where the reader finds themselves enamored far beyond the limits of alternate timeline and universes

[Tags] : @raevaioli @chenle @lcaita and @lceiji

- it was all because of a stupid dare

- it's a shame you agreed to do anything when more than 50$ were on the line (O.O)

- your friends from high school thought it seemed like SUCH  a good idea to dare you to spend 3 hours in the woods next to your house in exchange for 60$

- the 3 hours of course starting from midnight

- but you weren't one to back down from that kind of stuff

- no sir

- the only thing you had to do was to wait by the abandoned well surrounded by trees without anything to distract you (you trusted them with your phone anyway)

- tonight wasn't even that cold anyway

-so here you were, waiting for time to pass as you listened to the sounds around you

- you found it absolutly mesmerizing, how everything around you had its own identity through the sounds made

- you had always felt calmer in moments like these, by yourself at nighttime, just taking everything in

- you had been to this well many times before, the old lady who lived accross from your appartment told you that it was used as  a wishing well most of the time

- she spoke of how many people through the times had thrown coins into the unsettling darkness of the pit and wished for true love and stuff like that

- the other day, you had found her there and she told you about how that very same well helped her meet her soulmate

- you hardly believed her

- the wishing part ? Okay. It's a normal thing to throw coins into fountains and wells and pray for things. But soulmates ? That seemed like a reach

- so you felt pretty dumb for staring into the dark pit of most likely freezing water as intensely

- you also felt pretty dumb for making sure that you brought a coin with you on this outting

- okay maybe......the idea of finding your soulmate was not so repulsive.... (◡‿◡✿)

- you didn't hope it would work too hard but still.....just sayin that it would be nice

- so, you threw the coin, listening to its sound as it came in contact with the water at the bottom after a long fall and you started praying

- "i don't really know how this is supposed to be done but....if the stories are true can i please meet the love of my life ? If not possible i also accept checks and cash (▰˘◡˘▰)"

- you didn't really mean the money part

- but you know.....getting rich isn't that bad

- at that moment you felt smart for bringing a hoodie because ???? The wind was extremely strong all of a sudden like ?? Sheesh

- you were about to sit down and cuddle into your hoodie for warmth but then u SWORE U HEARD A VOICE COMING FROM THE WELL

- and you aint crazy but you're about dumb enough to lean your head above the opening to hear better

- i think you know where this is going....

- the wind's strength had you tumbling down the well in no time

- time seemed to slow down as you plummeted toward the surface of the water

- soon you came in contact with it, cold soaking your clothes and hurting all the way to your bones. You could see the moon thru the suprisingly clear water as well as the bubbles from your last reserve of air, all this caused you to pass out.

- in the capital of the kingdom MoeruFukuro, they were many things ; from kind townfolks, to golden rice paddies and from a gorgeous royal castle to roaming forest demons

- you heard me right

- the lands around were infested by demons and spirited who manifested at night, some benevolant and others not so much

- thankfully for the royal priest Tsukishima's magical talismans placed all around the town, the people could leave in peace, the malignant creatures knowing better than trying to overcome the spells

- the capital could pride itself all around the country for having ones of the most powerful and smart array of people there ever were in addition to being prosperous from the folks' trade businesses

- for example, in the royal palace, you could find as forementionned priest and mage; Tsukishima Kei, legend has it that he was blessed by Kaguya, the goddess of the moon herself in order to have such knowledge of spells

- there was also General Kuroo Tetsurou, who had his fair share of tales and admirers alike, the biggest one being the one in which he had saved a thousand men from a demon by sacrificing himself, earning its respect and protection in battle

- obviously there was the crowned prince, Bokuto Koutaro. Well he might seem a little air headed and childish at first sight but he takes his duties very seriously even if they consist in little things such as gathering the peoples' eventual complaints himself, some people going as far as saying that he is the closest thing to a god on earth

- and then, wherever Bokuto went, it would be near impossible to forget about his right arm and advisor, the wise and renowned astronomer Akaashi Keiji. If Tsukishima had been blessed by the moon goddess then many people believed that Akaashi was the one who tought Omoikane, god of wisdom and intelligence himself, everything he knew. He was everything people wished they were, calm, good looking, creative, reasonable and intelligent beyond mesure. No wonder he was the one Bokuto trusted the most by his side

- studying the sky also brought Akaashi much knowledge on seasons and the movements of stars and such, providing help to both the people and Tsukishima

- Akaashi did not live in the castle however, well technically yes but he did have a workshop of his own a bit farther in the territory, where he could dedicate himself to staring at the night sky he loved so very very much from his makeshift observatory/rooftop

- he also had a lovely well near his observation tower that Tsukishima had passive agressively insisted on cleansing for him (>.<)

- so there he was, in this particularly enchanting night

- something about that full moon, shining stars and clear sky just about almost got some tears out of him

- but he was interrupted when he heard a low growl from beneath his observation tower

- naturally he looked down to where it came from and saw a fire fox spirit inching suspiciously close to an unconscious girl on the ground near the well

- the demons avoided the talismans yes but that far from the heart of the city trickster spirits and ghouls could just about do as much chaos as they pleased

- rushing to get down, Akaashi took his bow and arrows ready to get rid of the spirit and make sure the girl, no matter how strange her clothes looked like, was safe

- it was fast work, his arrows reaped through the night air seemingly at lighting speed and quickly made the spirit disappear

- muttering a small banishing prayer he picked up the passed out girl and brought her on top of his observatory

- she was dry but she was still shivering from the cold

- "she must not be used to the cold" thought the young astronomer, taking off his haori to put on top of her frame and sitting down next to her, looking downwards at her now relaxed features

- he did not know why he brought her up there but right now it just felt right. So he went on with looking at the sky, resting his hands flat on the ground near his sides

- you were awake, enough to feel a warmth next to you but not enough to open your eyes yet

- you thought that you'd fallen asleep after making the wish and that your friends had carried you back to your room or something

- but it was to cold to be true

- you peaked slightly from between your lashes and were met with a GORGEOUS night sky

- usually in your city, the sky was too polluted to be able to see that many

- and the full moon seemed closer than usual, bewitching, enchanting, almost asking you to come to her, so in a way you did

- now fully awake, you outstretched your hand toward the celestial body, not really thinking in the moment

- "you're awake ! How are you feeling ?" said a silvery soft voice, almost similar to a whisper

- so similar you thought that you were still dreaming as it was the same one you've heard before imagining falling into the well

- your train of thought was quickly cut short by the feeling of warm hands around your own outstreched one

- oh this was definitly real

- you sat up im a swift movement, looking around you and only seeing trees and rice paddies, as well as the lights of a town in the distance

- you almost didn't hear the man's voice over your own rapidly beating heart

- almost

- "Everything's okay now, calm down" he said, probably noticing your panic and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles

- his words seemed to immediatly sink into your very soul at the second they came out of his mouth, and worst is that you thought that if it meant to be marked in such a way you would be glad to have your soul inked all over with just his words

- but you still didn't know him so you kept that thought to yourself

- "who are you and where am i ?" Your voice was so shaky and your mind so foggy that you weren't even sure if they ever made it out of your throat

- but Akaashi heard you loud and clearer than anything before, just touching your hand had seemed like such a common task but the needle like sensation that ran up his whole arm begged to differ, he regained his composure fast though

- "my name's Akaashi Keiji and you're in the kingdom of MoeruFukuro" he made sure to speak as softly as possible, never letting go of your hand, fearing that maybe, if he let go you would disappear back into the wind

- ".....my name's Y/N L/N....listen i don't think im supposed to be here- well more like...now"

- "what do you mean ?"

- and so you explained to him how you actually came from the 21st century in what you could only assume to be another timeline and universe, trying to sound as calm as possible

- because well, you weren't dumb, and castle as "cool and fantasy anime looking like that" were not so common

- Akaashi kept drinking in your voice, painfully aware of every movement of your face, every little speaking quirk and tones, never breaking contact

- he was fast in reassuring you on his own world, he spoke of his life, of his friends and of the castle, not leaving out the fact that demons and spirits were a common factor, carefully choosing his phrasing and explaining with the most concise words

- explaining so well that you felt as if you already knew all these things, deep in yourself

- and time passed

- you soon found yourself laying on you back, fingers still intertwined with the royal astronomer, talking about your lives, as if you were desperatly but as easily as breathing trying to make the other remember your existence, trying to get a part of your souls back

- the silence of the night made your voices reach the other in an almost pieircing melody, the deep blue and silver sky as your only witness of this moment

- "so you're an astronomer right.....why do you like the stars so much Keiji ?"

- oh man did he love hearing you say his name, it sounded like the rarest music he's ever heard coming from you

- "i guess it just comes easily to me....i've never felt lonely in the castle, my friends are supportive and strong even though i've never been particularly good with people....when i come here for reasons other than work and stare at the sky, it feels like im finally walking in my own feelings, finally able to search for something that i somehow always wanted..."

- he turned to your face and swore that he saw many more stars in your eyes than he has in his whole life and continued on

- " it feels- it felt like trying to find a part myself that had been fragmented and thrown into the universe....a part of myself that was very much more human than i thought"

- "oh" was all you could muster between that and the flood of feelings that was inside your heart

- you felt like you were running out of time.

- you felt like you had to make the most out of this precise instant.

- you suddenly jerked up, making Akaashi jump at the sudden move

- he sat up with you, facing you, unsure of what  that was all about

- " Keiji !" You said, full of determination despite the advanced hour of the night, and when he nodded and smiled, humming slightly as response you took it as your greenlight to continue

- " Let's find each other again ! Whether it be in this life or another ! We're bounded together now and im sure whichever gods brought me to you will make it happen again no matter what. So you have to promise me before it's too late....don't forget about me !"

- Akaashi's eyes bore into yours with as much intensity as yours and returning the smile you wore on your face

- he let go off your hand for the first time that night and you felt as if an invisible countdown just started somewhere

- he took of a teal and marine blue colored thread bracelet that he wore and put in on your wrist, it had a small crescent moon symbol made of nacre on it....how in character

- how....him

- "there. That way i won't ever forget you. I sure hope you don't forget about me either"

- the last thing your remembered was the gorgeous yet so undoubtfully sad smile of the astronomer before waking up, warm, in your own bed

- you looked around in a hurry and little did you know, you were back into your appartment's bedroom

- you figured it was just a dream

- and yet your heart was still beating against your ribcage and tears were stinging your eyes

- you looked at your phone to check the time since the sun had already went up and your eyes fell on the bracelet you were wearing on your wrist

- you wasted no time in DASHING out of your appartment straight to the old lady's, well too aware that what had happened last night was definitely not a dream

- as you rung the doorbell you were too busy trying to calm your heart that was still trying to beat out of your chest to hear an all too familiar voice from inside the appartment saying "i'll take this"

- the door opened and you almost fainted

- "hi ! Im Akaashi Keiji your new neighbor from next door.....have we met before ?"

[angelofhell-666]

Hail Hydra (Part 1)

This is the on going series after “That’s my granddaughter Buck...” hoping this turns out great. starts off slow then get’s intense over time.

warnings- alcohol, maybe language?

words- 1,463

We each took turns using the bathroom to shower and get cleaned up. Gramps had a few shirts and extra pajama pants that he never wore that I got him for holidays so he let the boys wear them. I guess he doesn’t like the captain America pants I got him seeing that Bucky came out of the bathroom in them with a huge smile on his face. Sam must have been buzzed at that point because I thought he was going to pee his pants from laughing so hard.

As I came out of the bathroom and down the hall towards the living room I hear them over talking.

“Listen Steve, I really didn’t know she was your granddaughter, I hope you aren’t mad at me.” Bucky spoke.

“It’s okay Buck. It’s like I said, I knew you then and I know you now, and I know present you will treat her right. I’m glad it’s you and not some shmuck.”

“I know. But if I knew, I would have asked you first. And I’m sorry….that I said those things to you…during the fight…” his voice went low.

I peeked around the corner and say that Sam’s head was leaned back in one of the recliners. Im guessing he’s asleep.

Gramps laughed, “Listen it’s not like you said anything provocative. And what you said really helped me decide that you would be good for her. You said nothing but sweet things. And when I saw the way you looked at her on the field…it was the look of love.”

I felt my eyes go wide as I looked at Bucky who’s face went red as he looked down at his drink.

I mean it’s not like I don’t feel the same way. Actually I must if I had butterflies every time I came in touch with him.

“I just never thought it would be your granddaughter, and I never would have thought she would like me back…” he kept his head low.

Gramps reached over and put his hand on his shoulder, “Buck, she looks at people for who they are, not for their past. And she has good judge of character. She trusts you. And she feels the same way about you. I saw the way she looked at you tonight.”

Bucky looked up and locked eyes with gramps, “Thanks. I won’t let you or her down.”

Gramps smiled, “I know. Because I’ll have to kick your old ass.”

Bucky laughed, “Yea okay old man.”

I guess I do love him. Even though we only had one date and only met a hand full of times before that.

I smiled to myself as I walked out from the hall. I came over and rubbed my hands together as I touched Sam with small lightening just enough to give him a shock.

He jumped up, “Ah what the hell was that!?”

Buck and gramps started to laugh, “Sorry I thought you were dead…” I laughed as I sat down on the couch next to Bucky.

Gramps grabbed Bucky’s shoulder as he stood up, “Well im going to head to bed…it’s way past my bedtime. Y/N will show you your rooms when your ready.” We walked over and squeezed my shoulder. “Goodnight.”

He let go as I said goodnight back and he scurried into his bedroom.

“I need another beer.” Sam said as we wondered back into the kitchen. Leaving Bucky and I alone.

I leaned back on the couch, “I’m sorry our first date didn’t go as planned.” He spoke up looking at me.

I looked over, “It’s not like you knew we were going to be attacked Buck. Besides, no one else I’d rather be attacked with then you.”

He smiled as he reached over and took my hand, “I would like to make it up to you…maybe a second date?”

I smiled back, “I’d like that. And I am sorry that I didn’t tell you about gramps. I didn’t want you to not ask me out because of it.” I looked down.

He tilted my chin up with his free hand, “That would not have stopped me. I know we have had only one date but I’v never felt this way about someone before.”

“I havn’t either.” We both started to lean forward right as Sam interrupted.

“Y/N you really need to update your beer selection.” He came in looking at the bottle.

Bucky pulled away as he put his head down as I looked up and saw Sam sitting back down.

“I mean since I can’t get drunk off it, I buy the one’s with good flavor.” I said to him.

Bucky reached out and filled my glass and his up with the Asgardian liquor. Once filled he passed me my glass. “To not getting killed my hydra…and being in hiding.” He smiled.

I put my glass to his as Sam reached over and clinked his with ours. “And thank god for Rogers always having our backs…both of them.” Sam winked at me.

I rolled my eyes as I drank my drink in one shot.

5 drinks later I am definitely feeling it. Sam must be feeling it to because at one point he drank some of the Asgardian stuff to taste it and got drunk off it. At least I’m not as drunk as him.

“Listen here..uh…im just a sayin’…you guys would have some freakishly strong babies…” I started to laugh as Sam slurred his words out.

“Yall would be unstoppable! Just imagine with her good looks and your weirdness man!” Sam blurted out as Bucky gave him a look.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Sam and I might be drunk but I can tell that Bucky isn’t.

“I don’t think your weird Buck, “I said as I put a hand on his metal arm, “Oh your so cool…that’s feels real nice.” As I put my face against his arm. Yup I was definitely drunk.

It didn’t really seem like Bucky cared what I was doing at the moment. “Listen Sammy, your just jealous every girl finds you repulsive.”

I lifted my head from Buckys arm and laughed so hard I had my head thrown back.

“Hey man that’s not cool…at least I don’t have a metal arm!” Sammy tried to slur out.

Bucky let out a chuckle, “Yea but at least I don’t have a small-“

I cut him off by asking Sam a question, “Oh my god Sammy, you should totally let me use your wing pack.”

“Girl you can’t handle that.” He laughed.

“But Bucky said it’s too much for YOU to handle.” I laughed out.

Sam tried to shoot Bucky a pissed off look but with him being drunk it made him look like a goof ball.

Sam and I both cracked up laughing. We both gulped down the rest of our drinks and he reached over and grabbed another beer. I then put my glass on the coffee table to pour myself some more but Bucky already started to pour it for me.

“Thanks Buck.” I looked at him.

He finished pouring my glass as he poured himself another one. “Anytime doll.”

I felt my face get hot. “Awwwww yall are so cuuute.” Sam slurred out.

“I think it’s time for you to go to bed bird brain.” Bucky laughed out.

“Hey! That’s my nickname for him!” I laughed.

Before I even took a sip from my glass I saw Bucky down his in one gulp. I looked over at him with a confused face. “Hey I haven’t been drunk since the 40’s. I think I deserve one night to get drunk with you guys.” He smiled as he poured another glass.

“Damn I forgot how old you were man ha!” Sam blurted out.

I shot Sam at look, “Yea but atleast he has game.” Nudging Bucky’s side.

He almost spat out his drink. “Wow that’s cold.”

We all had one more drink each before I started to feel my eye’s get real heavy. Sam and Bucky were going back and forth making fun of each other when I felt my eye’s close. I heard Sam say he was going to the bathroom as I heard him knock something over. Didn’t sound like it broke so I kept my eye’s shut.

I then felt my head go off to the side and land of what felt like Bucky’s metal arm. Too drunk to care I didn’t dare move. I managed to somehow mumble out which barley came out as nothing but a whisper. “Thanks for protecting me Buck…”

I felt what must had been him kissing the top of my head as he softly spoke, “I’ll always protect ya doll.” That was the last thing I remember before darkness took over.

[demiromantic-official]

I'm a little confused if I'm demisexual and/or demiromantic, because I think I can be romantically attracted to other people I don't know so well (though I need a bit knowledge about them before I am attracted). but I'm not sexualy attracted to people I don't know well. The thing is just, that I don't want to kiss, hold hands, cuddle or do anything where I am close to another person when I don't know them well! I can fantasise about it, but I am repulsed with the thought of actually doing it

Knowing one’s identity can be difficult because not everyone has the exact same experience, and since the lines between different forms of attraction are often hazy. 

One thing to remember that there is a difference between action and attraction/thoughts.  I’m sure many people can easily be attracted to another and imagine sexual actions with them, even if they would absolutely not actually want to do those things.  They just like the idea.  Likewise, one can be romantically attracted and enjoy fantasizing but not actually want to do those things.  Perhaps it is similar with you? Since you say you are not sexually attracted to those you do not know well, that hints that you could be demisexual.  As for the romantic part, you do not have to consider yourself demiromantic due to your repulsion of actually doing those things, since you seem to feel romantic attraction without a strong bond.  Though no one is stopping you from using it either, if it feels comfortable.  There may actually be word for someone who enjoys the idea of romantic and sensual actions but doesn’t actually like performing them or having them performed, though I do not know what word and based on your description it seems you are comfortable with cuddling, kissing, etc when it is with someone you are close to.  

I hope this is helpful and makes sense!

[superemeralds]

fanon shadow beef

[ I’m going to ramble about headcanon shit and stuff that I see done out of character in fanon in no particular order. This might be very chaotic so bare w me. ]

Everyone else: 

Shadow uses guns on a regular basis. 

He is not repulsed by guns. 

Shooting is one of his hobbies. 

He probably owns at least one gun and keeps it at home.

 Me: 

Shadow is very uneasy around firearms and avoids using them at all costs. 

The sound of gunshots (and similar loud sounds) makes him flinch. 

(On new years he retreats into his cabin in the woods so e doesn’t have to hear the fireworks.)

There’s very obvious reasons for that yall.

He avoids demands to "do his job cleaner" by using guns. 

Shadow is for gun control and strongly advocates for making it illegal for private households to own and store guns.

He Hates Guns. 

He. Hates. Guns. 

The reason he joined GUN despite it being a very triggering environment is because he has the mindset that he has to endure exactly this to overcome it.

+ he has to make sure that GUN doesn't go down that path again. You all know what I mean (and we all know that they will) 

After all this time, the commander from ShTH and Shadow made up, after covering up all misunderstandings and acknowledging they were both young and heavily manipulated back then. For the short while that this commander is still in charge Shadow has great faith that GUN will take a good turn, which is what moved him to join (they probably discussed it at the dinner that the commander (canonically!) invited him to with his family.

Additionally, he wants access to their data bank to learn as much as he can about the planet and secrets that governments might have. 

He never obeys his orders without question and often breaks rules and opposes GUN, sabotaging missions and just generally doing his thing while using his status in the organization to get what he wants. 

Due to his position and the sheer fact that he is the ultimate life form (and way too valuable to not be “under GUN’s control”) the authorities can’t punish him in any way for his betrayals and kinda get used to it.

God I have So Much Beef with the wiki page for him lmao lemme just. :)

<< Shadow also has a ruthless and merciless edge in combat that all other characters in the series lack, and displays a natural "killer instinct". >>

He only intended to kill Sonic in SA2 because he was blinded by rage and he planned to destroy the entire planet anyways.

I hate when people call shadow merciless and murderous and “killer instinct”... That’s not him...

He was TRAINED to be like this but that’s not who he really is.

Of course that learned behaviour isn’t easily unlearned, even if he cant remember when and how he learned it, but he has his own morals, too, and he is very very much against senseless death. If he can prevent it, he sure as fuck will do all he can do to save a life.

In Shadow���s eyes life is precious, something extraordinary. He promised to Maria to protect it, and he, himself, thinks of it as something worth protecting. Its true that he has a lot of trouble to accept his own feelings and thoughts as important and valuable, but that is due to the way he was raised. 

(as an experiment that is not treated like it has its own will, he was constantly told to comply in experiments, but they never even bothered to tell him what this was all for or engage in deeper conversation with him; as we can see in SA2 when shadow talks to Maria about how confused he is about his purpose of existence.)

More than enough I see him frown or be disgusted or just. plain angry at nothing in particular in fanart. (or the evil bloody murder type of character... or him proudly holding guns or shit :)))))) Hm... )

There’s a difference between an angry face and a person that just doesn’t smile as neutral expression. like… there just are people who have a neutral expression but look unhappy because their mouth naturally rests in a ^ position instead of a - or a v …

<< In the original Japanese version, where Shadow omits honorifics and speaks highly of himself (if not rudely), though contrasting this, in Japanese he normally uses the "boku" pronoun when referring to himself as opposed to the more arrogant/confident "ore" pronoun (which characters such as Sonic use). >>

okay so the difference between boku and ore is that ore is VERY casual and mostly used when talking to someone you are close to, or when you're just really sure of yourself. Boku is a pronoun used mostly by young boys or when someone speaks humbly abt themselves.

And I don’t know how this confuses anyone, since Shadow did grow up on a fucking space station and that’s all he’s known, and he was probably treated like a child, even when he was grown up. Plus, Shadow might be a little arrogant and think very highly of himself (which he mostly does because all his life he was taught that he is a very special and superior life form, mind you), he still very much respects whoever else he is talking to, and he doesn’t take credit for his powers or the things that make him special. He’s the “it’s not a big deal” kind of guy. And he doesn’t mean it in a derogatory way, he means it in a way, that he doesn’t want to trouble the other person.

Making the other person believe that he has everything under control and that he’s okay gives them a sense of security in tense situations, which can be vital to success. 

The way he interact with people might come off as rude and arrogant, but he does act with the best intents for the people around him. It’s just that even when his intent is well, his thoughts might be destructive rather than productive. (for example him thinking his feelings don’t matter and bottling them up.)

<< On occasion, Shadow appears to have some degree of mental instability. This is demonstrated by his instances of post-traumatic flashbacks to Maria's face prior to and during the events of Shadow the Hedgehog, though it could be argued that they were simply an effect of his amnesia. >>

whoever wrote this please eat a cactus

PTSD is not a joke and it’s definitely not just amnesia induced stress.

I remember seeing someone repost a gif of Shadow looking around anxiously shortly before having a flashback and saying how “cute” it is how “observant” and “jumpy” he is……

Those are PTSD symptoms and I hate how people make them the joke of a comic oftentimes. Sure these people could be uninformed but im just… Think a little more about it before making this shit up bc it physically hurts to see.

<< In Sonic Forces, it's heavily implied that Shadow ruthlessly slaughtered an entire mercenary band not only in an extremely dismissive, nonchalant manner (not even remembering the incident a few months later), but also seemed slightly proud, mocking the mercenary defence squad by saying they themselves needed a defence squad. >>

Sonic forces can fuck off its bad writing and it’s not shadow.

I made a comic showing what REALLY happened in episode shadow because *rolls eyes* sega doesn’t know their own characters.

[ read it here ]

Shortly summarized and in reference to what I said before: Shadow deems life precious and worth protecting, he would never kill without having a good damn reason to do so. (Like when he sees no other way to prevent a GREAT catastrophe or when the person just really DESERVES it. )

<< Shadow also possesses some sense of identity, as evidenced when after falsely being told that he isn't the Ultimate Lifeform due to a lab report. He states to Rouge that even if his memories were fake, he is still Shadow the Hedgehog. Similarly in Sonic Heroes, during the Egg Fleet level, he mentions that even without his memories, he is still the Ultimate Lifeform, Shadow the Hedgehog. These qualities make him rarely susceptible to being manipulated by other forces. >>

LMAO YEAH BECAUSE HE’S BEEN MANIPULATED FAR TOO MANY TIMES IN THE PAST HE’S DONE WITH THAT. 

:))))))) BACK TO THE PTSD SYMPTOMS

He is incredibly distrustful and keeps mostly to himself, because he can’t be sure that someone else would (a)buse him for their own gain :) betray him, or do something horrible to him (or someone he’s close to).

His identity as Shadow the Hedgehog, the ultimate life form, is literally ALL HE HAS LEFT IN THIS WORLD.

Everyone he knew and was close to DIED. He woke up 50 years in the future, all alone. He literally had NOTHING.

He didn’t even have a reason to live, which motivated him to carry out Geralds plan to destroy the planet.

<< Despite his apathetic nature, Shadow is not without compassion and has shown concern for others at certain times. >>

I think you mean…. 

Despite having trouble to convey his feelings of compassion and concern for others, he is shown to make attempts of support through his actions and carefully chosen words.

As already mentioned, Shadow never learned how to socialize, he’s awkward about it, and on top of it all he has trouble trusting and opening up to people. Stop saying he doesn't care, he just doesn’t know how to show that. 

Also Shadow is a very logically thinking person, so he might look at things a different way than others and see things very dry and objectively. He doesn’t mean to be rude or evil, whatever he does is always with the other people’s possible concerns and feelings in mind. (He just has trouble to read their emotions and imagining what they might think/how they feel about a situation).

<< Shadow brushes off most kindness or sympathy that is sent his way; in Sonic Heroes, when Rouge showed concern for Shadow when he saw a broken android, Shadow curtly brushed her concern away. >>

GOD. That’s because he doesn’t know how he feels about the situation himself yet. He also feels like he doesn’t deserve concern or worry from other people; and he very strongly dislikes making others feel bad. Making other people worry about him makes him a bother, and he doesn’t want to be an inconvenience. He puts on this mask of strong ultimate soldier that has everything under control, so he doesn’t hinder anyone from reaching their own full potential.

I mean.. I mentioned this like 3 times now but this is SO important!!!!

He appreciates support, but often times he feels like it’s shallow or the person might have secret intentions; so he only ever truly accepts it when he feels like it was genuine and deserved.

<< Despite the fact that Shadow often fights for the greater good, he is considered an anti-hero by the most part due to his morality. He does whatever is necessary to get what he wants or feels is right, though this enthusiasm causes him to take risks and jump into situations without fully thinking it through. >>

B-But that is the definition of anti-hero….

SOMEONE WHO DOES WHAT THEY WANT/HAVE TO DO TO ACHIEVE WHATEVER THEY THINK IS RIGHT ???

He’s just chaotic neutral you fungus………

<< Shadow's fighting style focuses on brutal, unrestrained and powerful hand-to-hand combat. In line with his nature and potent abilities, Shadow has adopted a fighting style where he fights his opponents using powerful blows, such as karate chops, swift punches and roundhouse kicks, to which many of his attacks have a significant amount of force behind them. With the speeds Shadow can move at, he can disable the opponent through the force of his blows alone, while leaving them at the mercy at his incoming attacks. >>

HERE’S THE TEA:

He attacks his opponents with such heavy blows hoping to take them down with minimal effort, but without actively harming them too much. 

His attacks are chosen very carefully. In 06 his chaos spears even just paralyzed his opponents asjfhsakj like. he can do that.

AS ALREADY MENTIONED: shadow is out to immobilize; not to kill.

putting opponents out of commission is the goal, not to end their life in vain…. it’s RIGHT THERE

<< With the speeds Shadow can move at, he can disable the opponent through the force of his blows alone, while leaving them at the mercy at his incoming attacks. >>

HE DISABLES EM WITH ONE BLOW SO HE CAN JUST GO ON WITH HIS MISSION ASJKHFASKJ

this whole “leaving them at mercy” bullshit is unnecessary and incorrect.

<< While not having any physical weakness, Shadow was initially a somewhat easy target for manipulation during the time he had amnesia due to his confusion about who he was. >>

THIS IS IT! MY ENTIRE BEEF WITH HOW THE FANDOM TREATS SHTH AS A GAME!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOLLLLYYYY SSSSHHIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! LET ME TELL YOU

okay so the whole POINT of the game is to show the player ALTERNATIVE TIMELINES in which shadow is manipulated in slightly different ways which lead to slight changes in his personality and like. with all the selective information he received he can be manipulated into becoming different kinds of people. 

i don't see how people dismiss the entire game as not canon?????, IMO those are all very valid and canon alternative timelines??? like… canon AUs???????

you can't just throw the entire game under the rug??? 

and saying things like “shadow is an android now i guess bc of that one shth ending” im..,

he was MANIPULATED into BELIEVING so. Eggman lied to him so he would obey him. (or just to make him unstable enough to be able to restrain him)

(proof ^^^^^ dialogue of eggman speaking to shadow during the final boss, saying that he lied and that shadow is the real shadow)

OH BOY ........ THE TRUE ENDING!!!!!!!! HOOOLY SHIIIIT

people have so much beef with shadow “leacing the past behind him” and like the “sayonara shadow the hedgehog” in the last cutscene…….. im…………………….

“leaving the past behind” doesn’t mean just forgetting about everything and pretending it never happened, it means ACKNOWLEDGING that it happened, ACCEPTING IT…. learning from it and then…. MOVING FORWARD.

it means that you learned from your past and are now at peace with it, not stressing over it anymore… finally able to focus on the present moment and your feelings in the NOW; maybe even think about the future a little more.

just. yeah. it means he made peace with his past and wont let it define him (in the sense that its all he thinks about and that his haunting memories control him) and he is more confident in himself and perhaps regained some self-worth…

and that “sayonara shadow the hedgehog” is 

 a call to say that his old “self” is now gone, and that it's time for the new “self” to rise

 just look at the room he’s in and the picture he's looking at…… those were maria's last words at him…… let him mourn one last time, let him make peace with her death. he’s been stressing over it long enough.

<< Professor Gerald's granddaughter, Maria Robotnik, is by far the one person that made Shadow the happiest. She was like a sister to him, and they shared the same dream; to visit Earth. >>

Can yall stop shipping them romantically? thanks.

I headcanon that Shadow adopts the Robotnik last name for a VERY GOOD reason.

okay im done w the wiki bye fuckface

I’m not done yet tho.

I want to talk about a thing I see in lots of fanart too... 

Shadow smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol.

Shadow is a highly sensitive creature and alcohol has an unpleasant sting to it when you drink it and he KNOWS it’s bad for people’s health. He would never indulge wild parties or participate in “jolly drinking” where people drink for the purpose of getting drunk and having “fun”.

He very much appreciates having one drink with rouge at the bar (for the taste, purely) or a beer at a meal with someone else. 

He doesn’t actively seek it, but he also is not totally repulsed by it.

What disgusts him is the abuse of alcohol and he doesn’t like associating with that behavior and stays away from people who do that. 

why? easy. let’s just take a look at cigarettes.

each package has a warning and disgusting picture of the aftermath of smoking on it, and everyone is very well informed about how bad it is for their own health, and more so for the health of the people around them. 

He does not accept people who put whatever benefit they think they receive from this, if they put it before the well being of others and willingly make themselves sick and rot.

Same goes for alcohol. Everyone is very well aware that its toxic to our bodies, but people get drunk and risky anyways. This way of fleeing their troubles is illogical and ungrateful. 

Ungrateful to the gift of life, to the healthy bodies they posses.  It has a lot to do with the unfairness he feels when he thinks about how Maria had a life expectancy of 9 or 10 years for something that wasn’t even her fault. And there are other, perfectly fine humans out there, that willingly destroy their bodies and willingly accept that they are harming the ones around them with their behavior too.

[ DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to call anyone who reads this that drinks or smokes out as a bad person; you can do what you want I’m not trying/going to try convincing you to stop or make you feel guilty. This is the standpoint of someone who has experienced health related loss, so it indeed is extreme. I am not trying to start a debate. ]

another beef i have is the weird idea that shadow is a lusty dominant rapist

[ warning that sexual themes might be discussed, but not explicit ]

shadow is MOST PROBABLY asexual; and even if he was interested in intercourse he would be polite about it, seek consent and so on and so on

just are many people forgetting that despite him being very mature, he had not had much life experience yet. 

not to be reaching but he kinda fits the “born sexy yesterday-trope”; where he is mature, there’s a gray area on his age, and he is clueless about how life works and basically a man-child “that needs teaching”

just that for some weird reason i see a lot of people draw shadow as very flirtatious, and in fanfictions he gets very violent towards romantic partners and ofc the infamous sonadow rape porn (tho ive encountered stuff relating to the born sexy yesterday shit too)

[ im not here to discuss how WRONG the things above are in its own, im just here to talk abt characterization today. ]

i just want generally everything to stop........... its bad........ don’t put that shit up in public and then even untagged........

[ warning end ]

..........

before anyone comes at me like “uuummmm but things you said are bad are actually portrayed in canon like that”

sorry but

hate to say it but i know their character better than sega themselves.

I’m tired and my wrists hurt i need to stop typing now but you did not hear the last of me.

[gaarfielf]

k im gonna throw in my hot take on part 5 now i think the time has come where i’ve watched enough of the damn series i can make a coherent essay on whats what on what (putting it under a read more bc this shit is gonna be long and i dont want my followers to suffer too much)

I’ll do this character by character starting with the new ones

Ami: I’m having a hard time deciphering whether she’s being underutilized or over utilized because number 1) her character isn’t interesting enough to have her keep coming around, especially when her only connection to the group is Lupin. She hasn’t had any interaction with Goemon or Jigen that i know of and she hates Fujiko for ??? reasons. That being said, I would’ve preferred if she was fleshed out more because 2) literally having her be the distant girl that is quiet and doesn’t understand social norms is..... really boring. It’s almost as boring as having a female character whose only there as a set of boobs... (coughs). She isn’t interesting because they didn’t make her interesting, yeah? It’s hard to hate a character based on the fact alone they were clearly written by a man but I mean it very literally when I say she could’ve been something great. Having her confess her love to Lupin was straight up disgusting and I really expected more from tms in that vein. Putting romance where romance doesn’t need to be is bad enough let alone when you jack knife it in between a child and an adult. And for those of you saying ‘Oh hhhh she’s like nineteen’....look into your heart. Even if she is 1) she sure as hell doesn’t look it and 2) Lupin is like 40-50. In the wise words of me, children loving adults was a myth made up by pedophiles in support of the devil. Npot to mention pitting her against Fujiko because they both like Lupin?? I ain’t even gotta explain why that’s a pathetic excuse at writing. But I will. Fujiko is a grown ass woman so why the fuck would she care and Ami is a child who shouldn’t be in love with him anyway. She has truly been nothing in the series except a tool and even at that not a likable one.

Yata: Do I even have to say that I can’t write anything about a man who hasn’t had more than 4 minutes of screen time in the last 24 episodes? He was hyped up before the series started and he’s done nothing but be Zenigata’s personality in the place of Zenigata y’know. Actually speaking and having one for himself BUT WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER. He’s done nothing but yell and cry over literally nothing? Like he fights Zeni’s fights because for some reason Zenigata got super lazy this season (again, we’ll get into that later) and he’s just a pointless character.

Albert: Gay rep for life haha just kidding he was bad at that too. I think they literally introduced him as faux-gay rep because they know the fans wanted more sensitive interactions from their already existing male cast members and they were like ‘well that’s gay so we’ll give them this guy’. And speaking on behalf of myself - ‘I don’t want these’. So Albert shows up, supposedly having a HUGE connection to Lupin’s past and then............we never see him again. And they literally tell us nothing about him except he’s gay and works in the government. Apparently when we say ‘we want gay rep’ they hear ‘very minor gay character??’ and didn’t hear us say ‘no’ back. And every time I hear anyone say 1) ‘well, his connection to Lupin is supposed to be a mystery!’ I can feel hives growing on my skin because i’m allergic to bullshit like if they weren’t gonna tell us the connection, and whatever the connection is didn’t reveal anything new about the character outside of ‘Lupin knew somebody that wasn’t Jigen when he was younger’ then why?? mention it?? why make an entire arc dedicated to not telling us something if the end result was ‘it doesn’t matter who he is’? 2) ‘well they’re obviously cousins’ except they obviously aren’t. if they obviously were, they’d say that they were cousins. like if y’all are digging up bits of the manga from 40 years ago to say ‘there was a character who had the same last name’ but are also out here saying ‘Jigen doesnt have a sister bc they said that over 40 yers ago and haven’t mentioned it since’ then I ain’t got nothing to say to y’all, you’re just dodgy and ain’t worth the stress of talking to. 3) ‘they’re maybe gay’ well the cool thing about gay rep is that we don’t give honourary mentions out for series that were too cowardly to actually come right out and say it. So in conclusion, Albert was written by cowards who couldn’t decide what to do with him.

Enzo: Boring. That’s literally all I have to say. Trying to give him depth by making Ami his daughter was predictable and not at all interesting. To be honest I completely forgot she was looking for her dad anyway because she didn’t seem to care that much about finding him either (or seem to care about anythign really). He’s a shitty villain and every time he speaks I got my finger on the right-key because I don’t care what he has to say and so far I haven’t missed anything good so yeah. Just disappointing.

I think that’s it??? For new characters?? So I’ll move onto the main cast

Jigen: I 👏 WANT 👏 JIGEN 👏 TO 👏 DO 👏 SOMETHING like good fucking God the man hasn’t done anything this whole series up until 24 where he got  5 minute scene dedicated to him killin’ cops (direct action) but like?? As a character he hasn’t progressed he has BARELY spoken and we’ve learned one new thing about him the whole series in the episode where he meets the daughter of a woman he used to work with. And that one thing that we learned was: he used to work with the mother of this girl. That’s it. Episode 24 he got a little bit of dialog with Lupin that I guess was supposed to be like character development but it was so weird because it was kind of directed at the audience?? So it’s like is he talking to me or to Jigen because if I was Jigen I would not have one goddamn clue what he was talking about. Also, he’s so depressing this season?? Right up until now we’ve seen very little personality from him aside from Angry and Complains a Lot. He smiles sometimes sure but like he doesn’t exactly have a lot to smile about this season considering he’s not really in the limelight anymore and is only brought back to foreshadow how much he hates technology and wants to retire. Personally, Jigen is one of my favourite characters and the fact he hasn’t achieved much this series is a big let-down

Goemon: I can’t even imagine how let down Goemon fans feel because again, up until Episode 23 he did nothing. He had an episode where he fell in love?? With a girl?? Disguised as a woman?? For some reason?? It was in one of the throwbacks and I’ll admit that maybe the episode made sense and I probably missed something but to me I had no clue what was going on. ANYWAY like his big scene in the spotlight is 3 episodes before the end of the series (its not like he’s a main character or anything) and he cuts Lupin. Because he thinks that he isn’t really his friend. That’s it that’s the only reason he almost murders his friend. Just kidding the other reason was that it was a half ass attempt at shock value to make sure the audience was still paying attention. They can’t seem to decide this season whether they want Goemon to be edgy or stupid but I think we’ve gotten a greta big helping of both so thanks tms /sarcasm/. They’ve really just dragged his character through the mud this season because he used to be stoic, mysterious, traditionalist but lowkey clumsy guy and then now he’s. I don’t even know how to describe it he’s just become so cutesy and edgy at the same time so we get him cutting Lupin in half right in front of UwU i eat my fish skin first ! I’m quirky ! like what am I supposed to feel about this grown man? He’s really too back-and-forth for me this season

Fujiko: I’M GONNA GET HEATED ABOUT THIS ONE SO BUCKLE UP I’ve never seen Fujiko written this poorly since TWCFM (yes i’m outting that as a bad series too so don’t @ me about that lil tidbit). She’s there as a piece of eyecandy bUT SHE IS SO POORLY DRAWN IT MAKES ME WONDER IF ANYBODY AT TMS HAS EVER SEEN A WOMAN IN THEIR LIFE TIME. Seriously her proportions are so off and outwardly repulsive looking it makes it hard not to skip anything she says in the series on account of how half-ass her character looks. Not limiting herself to being visually repulsive, she also has a half-ass personality. Suddenly Fujiko isn’t the come-and-go as she pleases, mysterious woman that gives Lupin intel on very high security operations she’s just. There. At some point in the series she said ‘a woman’s body is just a tool to get something she needs’ and I wanted to puke this is NOT Fujiko’s character at all and I’m disgusted that they’re brushing her off as a pair of walking talking boobs. Also her absolute lack of empathy is just mind numbing because they’re somehow trying to convince the audience that Lupin broke her heart due to wedding related reasons that still haunt her but? Seeing him cut almost in half does nothing for her? And then she deadpan ‘This is just how it is’ like this is just putting her in such an evil light that I hate because I love Fujiko! In every other season she’s fighty and sarcastic and witty AND NOT JUST THERE FOR EYE CANDY. And going back to the wedding thing, why is this being made into such a big deal? There’s literal episodes in other seasons called ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Look Right in a Wedding Dress’ ‘Fujiko Doesn’t Want to Be Married’ ‘A Ring Is Like a Trap’ like she 👏 don’t 👏 want 👏 to 👏 be 👏 married 👏. And the preview for the next ep shows her in a wedding dress so I’m ultimately preparing myself for the big season finale being them getting married.

hurray.

Final thought on Fujiko being, the episode where she picks up Lupin to save him from succumbing to his crossbow wound (easily the funniest thing thats happened all season) I mean. Yeah it’s kinda cool. I don’t really have any strong feelings about that like I’m not about to praise them for something like that when it was immediately followed by her and Ami slap fighting over him again.

Lupin: In my days of watching Lupin movies/specials my slogan was ‘if the ratio of screen time in the movie between characters is 10:0 in Lupin’s favour then it ain’t a good movie’ and it’s ringing true to this season where it’s all about Lupin. I understand obviously it’s a series called Lupin III like I’m not stupid but the amount of ass kissing to his character is something else like they’re putting him on this huge pedestal like he’s a do-no-wrong kind of guy to the point where he’s boring because he’s done nothing wrong. Ever. He doesn’t argue with anybody he doesn’t have any strong emotions really (outside of that episode where Zenigata loses his memory we see him outwardly angry for a minute). It just makes him such a dry character when they try to mold him into being absolutely flawless and admirable. Also the amount of faking his own death and ‘oh no is he gonna die’ moments are just not entertaining. Like I said earlier when he got shot with the crossbow that was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long long time. It played like an SNL skit (you know what one). And again we aren’t learning anything new. Whose Albert to him!? We never got to know, What’s his relationship to Fujiko!? We’re probably gonna find out they’re getting married last episode after all the touching moments they had together this season like.... like uh.... when they uh... oh right they’ve barely spoken to each other all season. And when they did they were arguing. Love is in the air huh?

Zenigata: AI’ll try to keep this brief but Yata’s taken over his character this season. He’s barely spoken, he has like, NO energy or determination. After the episode where Lupin faked his death (the first time, not the proceeding 90 times) Zenigata just stopped appearing and stopped doing anything productive. If anything his character became an excuse for an info dump. Like oh we see a war torn area whats going on? Zenigata is conveniently nearby to say ‘these people are at war!’ and then outside character will tell a 18 paragraph history on him of whose at war and their history and then Zenigata says ‘okay’ and doesn’t appear again for the next 2 episodes.

Now for the closing thoughts I guess

i don’t know why they’re looking at Lupin having plot as separate from Lupin being episodic. Like they’ve separated him from adventure so he’s just doing the same things over and over again. Not to mention like I said earlier, the fans wanted to see more sensitive interactions between the already existing characters, and if anything, they’re farther apart and just really confusing and contradictory. It’s hard to get through an episode when every week its another ‘great time for another plot arc they’re never gonna finish’. When I watched episodes of Part 1 and 2 and 4 (not so much 3 because i can’t find anywhere to watch it lol) I’m pretty attentive all the way through because the series drops tidbits of information about the characters and they make the episode enjoyable to watch. This season is so dreary and dry I can’t find anything to enjoy about it because it’s just one disappointment after another. I’m trying to to sound bitchy as I type all this out but I mean I’m speaking as a fan who is just really disappointed. I know I’ve said ‘disappointed’ a lot in this whole thing but there isn’t another word to describe it because that’s really the way that I feel about part 5. Seeing my favourite characters on screen is supposed to make me feel happy and excited to see where they’re gonna go and what they’re gonna do not make me think “I hope they don’t ruin this character for me’ in every. single. episode. This season has been underwhelming, unenjoyable, inconsistent and just really exhausting to me overall.

i gotta go eat now so peace out and if you read to the end of all this then hopefully i’m not the only one in this boat but if you don’t agree with me then i guess thats just how it is yeah?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that the callbacks were cool at first but now I just find they’re baiting me into thinking i’ll enjoy the episode because i’ll find something I liked from one of the better seasons in it. They’re just really overused at this point because these callbacks aren’t being used for anything. like ‘lupin is making his plan at the cagliostro castle!’ like. why. ‘detective melon is also angry at lupin!’ but if she isn’t like teaming up with zenigata or actually doing anything to find him why should i care. 

[my-depressed-thoughts]

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I just disappeared. If one day I just didn't exist. Not that I want to die or hurt myself or anything because I myself have lost too many people and now the sadness of that path; but sometimes you just wonder ya know? How different would the world be? How many people would care? How many people would pretend to care and act like they knew you? What would your funeral be like? How many lasagna dishes will the old ladys from chruch bring your family as they say "I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Let me know if there's anything you need".

Sometimes I wonder if my friends are actually my friends or if im just someone there when its convenient for them. Not that I don't love my friends and value their friendship, but the thought still creeps in every now and then. Do they think im weird and only keep me around to make me feel better? Am I just a person with a car to drive them around? Am I just such a nice person so "shes will always give me the money I need" eventhough shes struggling with money herself. Am I the friend that everyone keeps around just to boost their own confidence in themselves? Am I the ugly friend?

Sometimes I wonder if all I will ever be to a guy is just a means for their own gain. Just another girl to get nudes out of. Just a toy to use and throw away when I'm "no longer fun". I wonder if there are more than just the ass holes who use and abuse girls. More than just a guy who doesn't know that the word NO, means no and to stop. More than just a guy who dates you to look cool infornt of his friends and any small slip up could end in a break up. More than just a guy who only calls and texts you when its convenient for him. More than just a guy who says "you're not worth anything more than just a fick. Good luck trying to find anything more."

Sometimes I wonder if my depression is just a figment of my imagination. That all the trauma I have is just fake and all made up. That my parents are right "in a few weeks you'll be just fine. You don't need a therapist". That I'm not tired all the time for no reason, but just "need to go to bed earlier." That crying myself to sleep most nights always has something to do with me being a teenage girl with "girl problems". That I'm just being over dramatic because that's what theater kids do; make everything seem like the end of the world. That getting out of bed in the morning and finding the strength to keep going every day is the easiest thing in the world. That its all in my head and I'll be fine soon.

Sometimes I wonder what its like to be pretty and popular. To wake up and look in the mirror and not be repulsed at what I see. To look in the full body mirror and not decide which meals to skip today. To not look on social media and wish I was that model or that girl from school. To not go through fifteen different outfits just to find the right one that hides all my "imperfections." To not dress for that guy or anyone else, but to dress for myself and wjat makes me feel happy. To not wonder how long it'll take for me to finally love myself and feel pretty, but to accept that I am the only me like me in the world and thats amazing. To just be able to stop comparing myself to others and just love me.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be to not be the super nice person. Not be taking advantage of. Not be walked over all the time. Not be forgotten until someone needs something or needs to rant. Not be used for someone's personal gain. Not be the shoulder to cry on when they get hurt. Not be a push over. Not say yes all time and stick up for yourself. Not be pushed around. Not be pressured into something you know is wrong. Not be invisible, but be seen and heard. Be a force to be reckoned with. Be strong and speak your mind. Be able to say no. Be you without being told how to think or what to say. Be authentic.

Sometimes I wonder what its like to be myself and not hind behind a mask.

[craftyshipper]

Confession

Posted on FF originally if you’d like to read it there.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12765214/1/Treasury-Of-Love

Nalu oneshot.

                  I remember the moment that changed everything I know

"Natsu.." The blond-haired female murmured into his neck as he moved above her.

He grabbed her hands and pinned them to the bed as he lifted himself up to hover over her before leaning down to trail kisses from her neck to her exposed chest.

"Lucy…" He whispered against her skin as he feathered kisses across her chest before stopping near her breast. "You're so addicting."

He felt her swallow nervously, and smiled softly before taking her nipple into his mouth causing her to let out a quiet gasp.

"Natsu." His name left her lips on a soft moan. "Please." She whispered at the new sensation she was feeling throughout her body as he teased her pink bud.

"Not yet." He grinned when she pulled her hands from his and tangled her fingers in his pink hair. "Not yet." He repeated.

Natsu sat up quickly and glanced around the room he was currently in. He felt himself sweating and panting, despite not wearing his vest or scarf, as a blush crept across his face. What was that? He dropped his head into his hands and moaned in frustration. Looking up again, he realized he was in Lucy's apartment.

"I remember now." He frowned. "She went on a two day mission with Levy." He was a little hurt that she had ditched him, but where they were going he had no interest. Translating books didn't sound very tantalizing to him, so he opted to stay home and stole the use of her apartment while she was away.

"Why am I having these kinds of dreams about her?" He mumbled to himself so he wouldn't wake the blue exceed that was currently sleeping on the edge of the window.

Sighing he flopped back down onto the bed and turned so he could bury his face into her pillow. He inhaled her scent that lingered on her bed, but he suddenly felt empty. He missed her. He missed waking up to her yelling at him for being in her bed. He missed her laugh and her smile. He knew he had been in love with her for a while now, he just didn't know when it had happened.

"Lucy, what have you done to me?" He muttered as the red tint returned to his face.

"That was actually an easy job." Lucy turned her attention to Levy who was walking beside her.

"Yeah, I agree." Levy smiled back at her friend. "Plus the bonus the guy gave us for finishing it faster than he anticipated, made it all worth it."

The blond nodded her head, the low hanging pig tails bounced in response to her head gesture. She turned to the short blue-haired female next to her, who was wearing an orange dress. "So uh Levy?" She called her friend's attention.

"What's up LuLu?"

"Uh, just curious, how are you and Gajeel doing?" Lucy rubbed the back of her head nervously, before her hand fell back to her side, grabbing her key pouch instinctively.

"Oh." Levy blushed at Lucy's question. "Well, we are doing great actually."

"Really?" Lucy smiled, feeling happy for her friend.

"Yeah. We started off a little rocky, but now, it's all different, it's like I'm in a whole new relationship." Levy sighed dreamily as her thoughts trailed to her Iron Dragon boyfriend.

"That's great, I'm happy for you."

"What about you and Natsu?" It was Lucy's turn to blush a deep shade of red.

"Huh?" Lucy sputtered indignantly.

"Don't play coy with me sister." Levy smirked. "Everyone at the guild knows you like Natsu."

Lucy laughed nervously as she placed her hands against her burning face. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Levy smiled at her friend, the blond could try to hide it all she wanted but she couldn't deny the obvious looks she always gave the pink-haired male. She just wished they would admit their feelings for each other already. Everyone at the guild have already said that they would make a great couple. Lisanna had even tried getting Natsu to ask Lucy out, but the Salamander had quickly run from the guildhall.

"Whatever you say LuLu." Levy smirked as Lucy's blush grew a shade darker. "But honestly, everyone else at the guild has started a relationship with somebody." Levy held up her fingers to count the couples. "Mira and Laxus. Lisanna and Bickslow. Evergreen and Elfman. Erza and Jellal. Me and Gajeel. Shoot even Gray gave Juvia a chance, now they are one of the happiest I've ever seen them. Romeo even asked Wendy out."

"Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to imply something here." Lucy stared at her friend.

"Well you and Natsu are really the only ones left."

"That doesn't mean we belong together!" Lucy cried out.

"Suuurrre." Levy drawled. "Mark my words woman, you will get to together with him."

"Alright that's enough for one day, I'm going to go home and take a bath, bye Levy." Lucy took off leaving only a trail of dust behind as Levy laughed at her friend.

It will happen LuLu, just you wait.

Lucy sighed as she unlocked the door to her apartment, the exhaustion finally catching up to her. Once inside, she walked to her room and placed her keys on top of her desk not even noticing the male that was sleeping on her bed and snuggled under her covers. She grabbed a fresh set of clothes and headed into the bathroom. Hoping a hot bath would help her relax.

She hummed quietly to herself as she turned the knob, the cool water quickly shifting to the warmth she was used to. She grabbed a bottle with bubble soap inside and poured some into the tub, bubbles usually made her feel better. With a soft sigh she stood up and began to undress. Once her clothes hit the floor, she stepped into the tub, she moaned in pleasure at the feel of the warmth soothing her aching muscles. She ducked down as far as she could go, the water only covering her chest and below.

Lucy had a thoughtful expression that ran across her face. She couldn't help but think about what Levy had said to her.

Is it possible for me and Natsu to be together?

She inwardly sighed as she closed her eyes. She tried to focus on the warmth around her but her thoughts begin to drift to a certain pink haired male. She knew she liked him-scratch that- she was in love with him. She had for a while now, but she was too afraid to admit it to herself.

I know he doesn't like me back.

She frowned. He's such a dense idiot.

She closed her eyes and let her imagination wander, the warmth of the bath making her wish a certain dragon slayer was the source of the heat around her.

"Lucy." Natsu called to her softly as a blush made its way across her cheeks.

She stared up the male that was currently hovering shirtless above her; she let her eyes travel down his chest, taking in all of the details of his muscles and each of the scars that were present on his body. He had even abandoned his white scaled scarf before he pushed her back on the bed which now led to their current position.

"Can I touch you Lucy?" Natsu breathed into her ear when he leaned down to her.

She nodded, afraid that if she spoke, she would ruin the moment with her embarrassing words.

She let out a soft moan when Natsu placed his lips against her neck, before kissing his way down her body. He lifted the white tank top that was blocking his way, after he pushed the fabric away from her breast he leaned down and took one perked nipple into his mouth as his hand massaged the other gently.

Lucy shook her head as her face turned at least ten different shades of red. "Oh Mavis!" She placed her hands against her mouth when she heard a moan come from outside her bathroom. Someone was in her room!

"Lucy?"

"Oh my gosh!" She blushed furiously, recognizing his voice immediately.

"Lucy?" The voice repeated.

"U-uh y-y-es." She stuttered and inwardly cursed herself for her thoughts, which now caused her to stutter like an idiot.

"Are you okay?" She knew that voice belonged to Natsu, and the husky way he called out to her, she knew he had been sleeping. In her bed!

"I-Im f-fine." She frantically tried to calm her racing heart.

"Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah. Thank you."

I'm in trouble.

Natsu sat with his legs crossed on Lucy's bed and his arms folded against his chest. The frown he wore on his lips pulled into a small pout. He was sure he had heard Lucy scream, but clearly something was wrong since he could practically hear her heart beating against her chest, thanks to his heightened senses. There was something up, but it seemed she didn't want him to know what it was.

"What a weirdo." He mumbled under his breath just as the door to the bathroom opened to reveal Lucy in a pair of blue jean shorts and a pink striped tank top. The blush that was evident on her cheeks didn't go unnoticed by the dragon slayer, but he decided to let it go, at least for now.

"Lucy, are you sure you're okay?" Natsu dropped his arms as he stood and sauntered over to her.

She stepped back as if she was repulsed or scared by him. Honestly that hurt him, did she think he was going to hurt her or something? "Luce?"

Lucy saw the hurt that flashed across his face and immediately regretted shifting away when he approached her. "Did I do something wrong?" His question came with a slight crack.

She panicked and shook her head frantically. "N-No!"

"Then what?"

"I-I..." Lucy was at loss for words. "Nothing."

"I'm not an idiot Lucy." Natsu's frown deepened, he knew he could be an idiot sometimes, but now wasn't one of them. "I heard you yell, and your heart was racing."

"You heard my heart?" Lucy stated in a panicked tone as her face flushed a red that could rival Erza's hair. "Get out!" She shrieked and shoved him towards the door.

"Whaa?!" Natsu dug his feet into her carpeted floor. "Why?" He pushed back on his heels.

"Go!" She pushed him again.

"Lucy, what's gotten into you?" He growled and turned around, using more strength than he should have and knocked her down, effectively pinning her to the floor with her arms above her head.

She struggled against his hold, not realizing the intimate position her and Natsu were in. He was nestled in between her legs as he held strong to her arms. Her wiggling and squirming did little to ease his discomfort when her lower half rubbed against his.

"Lucy." A husky growl came from his lips that instantly made her freeze.

She looked into Natsu's eyes which were hooded as she finally registered their close proximity. Her heart began beating faster, making her feel like it was going to jump out of her chest.

"N-Natsu?" Lucy's stared into his dark eyes.

Natsu seemed lost in a daze as he leaned down, Lucy's eyes widened when he softly pressed his lips to hers. He's kissing me! Her brain screamed for her to push him away, but her heart wasn't having it. Succumbing to the sensations shooting through her body from the feel of his lips, she closed her eyes and returned the kiss.

Natsu's heart rate jumped when Lucy started kissing him back. He was expecting her to either flinch away or bite and yell at him, but those never came. Instead their tongues ventured out to play with each others, deepening the already heated lip lock. He shifted, his hands slowly releasing her wrists. He held up his weight on one arm as the other traveled down her body, stopping when he reached the hem of her shirt. The warmth she felt at his touch made her crave more and she soon got her wish as his hand moved underneath her shirt, touching her bare skin.

Finally needing to breath, he pulled away from her now swollen lips and gazed into her hooded brown eyes, the lust beginning to fade. His eyes widened slightly at the realization at what he had just done.

"Natsu?" Lucy breathed.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me." He whispered with embarrassment.

"Oh..." Lucy's heart sank at the thought of him not returning her feelings for him. "I-It's okay." She blushed a light shade of pink as he pulled his hand from her shirt with an embarrassed blush on his face and removed himself from his position above her.

She sat up and wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to sooth her aching heart.

"I-I should go." He hurriedly grabbed his shoes, vest and scarf and hastily jumped out of the window. Unfortunately forgetting to wake the blue exceed who had, thankfully, slept through the entire encounter.

Lucy sat on the floor as tears found their way down her cheeks. I'm such a fool. She hugged herself tighter. What am I to him? Nothing?

Deciding she didn't want to be home anymore, she quickly put a pair of sandals on her feet and grabbed her keys. She left the apartment in tears and made her way to the guild. She needed to get out of Magnolia, she needed to clear her head. There had to be a job she could take.

"You did what?!" Mira yelled at Natsu as he waved his hands to silence her, not wanting the rest of the guild to know what the subject of their conversation was. Luckily Mira quickly waved off any onlookers and turned back to Natsu. She smoothed out her red dress before leaning against the counter.

"I'm such an idiot." He hit his head against counter-top and looked back up to the takeover mage.

"Natsu you need to talk to her." The salmon haired male sighed and cursed himself for what he did to Lucy yesterday.

"What do I tell her?!" He exclaimed. "'Sorry Lucy, I freaked out when I kissed you and I didn't know how to handle it, I do like you but I chickened out?'" Natsu shook his head. "I hurt her Mira, I could smell her tears as soon as I left."

Mira sighed. "Natsu, she cried because you left her there. You didn't even try talking to her, if you explain yourself and how you felt, she may understand."

"I doubt it, she probably hates me." He muttered as he played with the only sleeve that was on his shirt.

"Now, now." Mira patted his arm and smiled. "Come on, now is your chance to do something special to make it up to her, and to tell her how you really feel."

"But what if she doesn't want to talk to me?"

Mira groaned. "Natsu, you two have been friends for awhile, I doubt she would just stop talking to you."

The male sighed and rested his head in his hands. "Yeah, maybe..."

Mira gave him a few soft pats on his shoulder. "Come on, I'll even help you out." She stated with a small wink.

Natsu sat up and let a wide grin spread across his face. "Alright!" He gave a thumbs up.

With a soft groan, Lucy marched through the guild hall doors, quickly receiving greetings from several of her guild mates. She waved to them before making her way to the bar and sat down. She was dressed in a white tank top and black shorts. They job itself wasn't hard, it was all the walking she had to do, she loved libraries, but if she ever had to go to another one with so many stairs she would lose her mind.

"Good afternoon Lucy." Mira greeted with a warm smile as she tucked a stray strand of white hair behind her ear. "How did the job go?"

"Tiring, I think I'm going to steer clear of libraries for awhile." Lucy giggled and rested her chin in her hand. "But I did get enough money to pay for my rent and then some."

"Well it's good to have you back." Mira smiled and held up a cup, implying if Lucy wanted her usual strawberry shake, to which the blonde nodded. "But why didn't you take Natsu with you?"

"I just needed some space." Lucy glanced at the bar counter. "I had some things to sort through and needed alone time to do so."

Mira nodded in understanding, she wouldn't tell Lucy that she knew what had happened between her and the dragon slayer, but she could help by talking with her friend. She hoped she could get the blond to open up to her and talk about how she felt about the situation.

"Anything I can help with?" Mira asked with a smile. "You know I'm always willing to listen."

"I know, thank you Mira." Lucy bit her lip in thought before she looked to Mira who had set the strawberry shake in front of her. "It's just..."

Mira tilted her head to the side in curiosity. "What is it?"

"It's Natsu..." Lucy looked away with a hint of sadness on her face, she felt like she should be embarrassed to tell Mira this but she was too upset to even care. "He...uh...he did something yesterday and I don't know, it really hurt me."

"What did he do?" Mira asked even though she already knew the situation.

"Well, you obviously know how I feel about him right?"

"Yes, I think the whole guild does."

"Well, he kissed me yesterday." Lucy could feel the blush starting but it went away the more she spoke about what happened. "Then he took off, saying he didn't know what came over him." She sighed dejectedly. "I thought maybe he felt the same way I do, but maybe he just got caught up by his hormones or something."

"Lucy..." Mira trailed off. "Have you have known it to be easy with Natsu, about anything?"

"No, I guess not." She tried to force a smile but it didn't come.

"Look, Natsu may have gotten scared, maybe he thought you weren't going to accept him." Mira smiled and grabbed on Lucy's hand with her own. "I don't think Natsu ran off because he thought it was a mistake, he ran off because he was afraid of what you'd you say or do to him."

Lucy shook her head. "Why would he think that, I kissed him back, that should have been a clear signal, right?"

Mira shrugged. "Like I said this is Natsu we're talking about."

The celestial mage sighed. "I know." She pushed aside her cup after realizing that it was now empty, not remembering when she even drank it.

Mira grabbed the cup to put it in the sink. "Just talk to him Lucy. Please?"

She didn't know why, but Lucy felt as though Mira knew more about what had happened. Did Natsu say something to her? She shook that thought from her mind and stood from the seat she was at. "I'll see what I can do..." She muttered. "Bye Mira, thank you."

I don't even know what to say to him.

Mira smiled softy as she watched the blond female walk away. You better not screw this up Natsu.

Happy watched as Natsu paced back and forth through their home, he kept muttering to himself something about Lucy. Although he wasn't surprised, the dragon slayer had told the exceed what had transpired between the two and Happy was a bit disappointed in him. Happy knew how Natsu felt about Lucy, he had felt that way for a very long time. He had even let up on the teasing, hoping Natsu would get the courage to admit to the blond how he felt.

"Natsu." Happy called out to him.

The pink haired male paused and turned to his exceed best friend with a curious stare. "What's up buddy?"

"Are you going to talk to Lucy?"

"Yes, Mira helped me plan out a surprise for her..." He gave a small grin. "A surprise dinner date actually."

"Oh, what restaurant are you taking her to?"

Natsu smiled nervously. "Well, I'm not talking her to a restaurant..." He blushed. "I'm, um, making her dinner at her home."

"You're going to cook?" Happy raised his eyebrows on surprise. "But you can't cook!"

"I can too!" Natsu yelled back and cleared his throat. "Besides, Mira has shown me how to make a few dishes."

Happy smiled and laughed. "Just don't kill Lucy with your cooking."

"Hey!" Natsu cried in embarrassment. "I'm not..."

The blue exceed stopped his teasing to instead look at Natsu seriously. "I hope everything works out Natsu, I love both you and Lucy like parents, and I'd hate to see your relationship suffer over this."

"Me too Happy, me too."

Natsu stood in Lucy's apartment with bags full of ingredients and a bouquet of roses. He gulped in nervousness and thanked his luck that Lucy wasn't home yet. He walked to her kitchen and placed the roses on the counter before he got to work cooking their meal. He hoped Lucy wouldn't be back until he had everything laid out on the table.

His heart beat harshly against his chest and his face grew hot at the thought of seeing Lucy again after these last two days. He had sort of been avoiding her until he could figure out what to do, he just hoped she wasn't mad at him. That thought alone was enough to erase the blush from his face.

What if she really does hate me?

Shaking his head he continued to work, pulling out pots to cook the pasta and Alfredo sauce along with a slice of chicken. Mira had said this dish was easy, he hoped he didn't burn the chicken. That was not an impression he wanted to make on a girl he was trying to confess to. Then again, she should expect it from a guy like him, who knew next to nothing about being in the kitchen.

Come on Natsu, you got this.

Stupid Natsu.

Lucy kicked a pebble as she walked to the outskirts of Magnolia, hoping a walk would clear her head. She didn't know why but it felt like the fire dragon slayer was avoiding her for some reason.

Maybe Mira was wrong...

Pain lacerated her heart at that thought. She loved that stupid idiot and he was hiding from her, that's what hurt the most. She knew Natsu couldn't harbor the same feelings for her, why else would he be keeping his distance from her if that wasn't the case. She made her way to a secluded area in the forest that over looked a huge waterfall. The remaining sunlight illuminated her face as she sat down on the grassy area and stared down the cliff side as the water poured into a large lake down below.

Team Natsu may not be Team Natsu after all of this was over.

Her heart throbbed painfully as the first few tears escaped her eyes. "You're such a jerk Natsu, how could you do this to me?" She gripped the green grass through her fingers, as more hot tears fell, no longer caring about holding them back.

"Mom, I don't know what to do." She croaked out through tears.

Natsu sat on Lucy's bed, he had finished cooking hours ago and there was no sign of his blond haired teammate. He scowled as he looked over to the table where the food was now cold and dry and the candles were burned down to the last few inches. He sighed and laid back on her bed, and pulled at the collar of his black long sleeved button up shirt. He had dressed up for this, even leaving his beloved scarf at home, instead wearing a back shirt and dark blue jeans. He felt mentally exhausted after today and negative thoughts began to plague his mind.

What if she found out what I was planning and avoided coming home?

Did Mira tell her something? No. She wouldn't do that.

Was Lucy even okay?

That got him to sit up with a speed he didn't know he possessed. He threw open her window and jumped down from the two story height, ignoring the odd looks he received from any passersby. He sniffed the air, quickly catching her scent and sprinting in the direction he was sure she had gone. To the forest outside Magnolia. He continued his run, sniffing the air checking for any unfamiliar scents that may have been lingering nearby. He was relieved when he found none.

He skidded to a halt, her scent was even closer. He moved through the trees and foliage, several bushes scraped against his jean clad knees. He came to a stop when he saw her. His breath left him, she was beautiful. Her long blond hair cascaded down her back as she sat on the grassy floor with her knees drawn to her chest. Her blue jean shorts and red tank top hugged all of her curves in the right places. He gulped and stepped forward but stopped when a new smell reached his nose.

Tears?

With a heavy heart he stepped closer to her, with each step bringing him in earshot to hear her quiet sobs. He paused when he was behind her and knelt down to the ground. Whether she heard him or not, she didn't acknowledge that he was there. Building up his courage, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. His arms circled around her front as he rested his head on top of hers.

She gave an audible gasp at the feeling of strong arms around her. Before she had the chance to react, the person spoke, making her heart ache even more.

"I'm sorry Lucy."

Her lip quivered as unending tears made their way down her cheeks. She wanted to turn around and hit him or yell at him, but she couldn't bring herself to do either of those. Instead she cried even harder, her sobs causing her shoulders to shake as Natsu tightened his arms around her, refusing to let her go. He moved to sit down on the ground and pulled her into his lap and held her tightly as she choked out tears.

I'm an asshole...I can't believe I did this to her.

"Lucy...There is something you need to know." This was it, she would either hate him or forgive him. "I didn't run away from you because I thought it was a mistake, I ran away because I was afraid. I was afraid that you would hate me for doing what I did."

Natsu sighed sadly. "The truth is, I've loved you for a while now." Lucy's heart froze as her sobs slowly died at his words. "I was terrified of these feelings that I didn't acknowledge, but I understand them more now than I ever have, and I've never felt this way for anyone before." Natsu looked up towards the sky, noticing the day was nearing it end. "You make me feel happy and I didn't want to do anything to screw that up because I was scared to lose you if I acted on those feelings. I was afraid you would push me away if you didn't feel the same way I do."

Lucy pulled away from Natsu as his gaze found hers. He smiled sadly, not sure what he should do now that everything was out in the open. This wasn't how he had wanted to confess his feelings to her. But he bit the bullet, hopefully it would soothe the ache in her heart.

He sighed softly. "I'm sorry I hurt you, I promise that wasn't my intention." He squeezed her tighter. "I had a moment of weakness that day, your scent was so intoxicating and then we ended up in that position and I couldn't control myself any longer."

The blond only bit her lip as she thought over his words. Is he telling the truth? Natsu continued to stare at her, making her a little nervous under his gaze, not sure what she should say. She should tell him how she feels too? Is it safe to?

"When you kissed me back, I was afraid that you were acting on hormones or you were lost in the moment too. Man I'm such an idiot!"

Lucy gave a nod in understanding but remained quiet, not sure how she wanted to respond.

"You're killing me with your silence Luce." Natsu frowned, his nerves stretching thin from worry. "Please say something...anything."

Lucy gave a small smile as she wiped her eyes. His words were so sweet, she felt like she could die from the joy she felt at his confession. She didn't know why he would think he would lose her if he acted on his feelings, but he should know he didn't have to worry about that. They were going to be together no matter what. Friends or lovers, it didn't matter.

"Just shut up and kiss me." Lucy stated in a bold whisper, finally getting her brain to force her mouth to form coherent words.

Natsu's eyes widened. "Wha...?"

Laughing lightly through her tears, she grabbed his face between her hands and pressed her lips to his. Natsu's breath left him as soon as her lips made contact with his. He pulled away and gasped for air before smiling softly and crashing her lips with his again. She deepened it as her tongue came out to run along his bottom lip, his mouth opened without hesitation. He let out a soft groan at the feel of her tongue dancing with his, he never wanted this feeling to end.

When they finally broke away from each other's lips, Natsu stared into her chocolate brown eyes. The love he felt for her at that moment didn't compare to how he had felt before. An impressive warmth that swept through his chest, considering he was a fire wizard, made his heart skip a beat.

"I love you." He said it with so much conviction that the blond couldn't hide the blush that adorned her face.

"I love you too Natsu." Lucy smiled at him while her face grew a darker shade of red. "I always have."

The pink-haired male couldn't stop himself from grinning at her. His sharp canines revealing themselves with how broad his lips had spread. He slid Lucy from his lap and stood to his feet bringing the blond to hers simultaneously. Natsu placed his hands against her cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her lips before moving his arms around her form to hug her tightly to his chest.

"I know we just confessed our love for each other, but I feel I should ask just so that we are official." Natsu murmured as he pressed his face into her hair, inhaling her scent as he did so. "So...will you be my girlfriend?"

Lucy giggled into his chest and a soft chuckle rose from him. "Of course you weirdo."

"Hey, that's my line!" Natsu pulled away and pouted at her.

"It's mine now!" She grinned at him.

Lucy hadn't expected the mess she would find when they returned to her apartment. The dishes that laid askew in the kitchen from Natsu's attempt to cook for her drew a soft sigh from her. But she couldn't help but feel a little happy that he went through all of the trouble.

"Sorry about this Luce." Natsu rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Are you mad?"

"Mad? No. In fact I think I've fallen for you even more Natsu." She turned to him. "I just wish I had come back so we could have enjoyed the meal you had prepared. I'm sorry all of your hard work was for nothing."

"Eh, it's okay." The male shrugged. "Probably would have tasted horrible anyway."

"Don't say that. I'm sure it would have been amazing."

"Thanks." Natsu blushed.

Lucy giggled at him, his obvious embarrassment apparent on his face. Natsu watched as she stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you for trying." She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Natsu, I do need to apologize to you though."

"For what?"

"Yelling at you that night and trying to force you out of my apartment even though you did nothing wrong."

"Oh." Natsu gave a lopsided grin. "Don't worry about it."

Lucy nodded and dropped her arms from his neck. She walked over to her dresser and grabbed a pair of clothes. "I'm going to change for bed." Natsu nodded as she disappeared into the bathroom.

Now he was faced with another problem. Was he supposed to stay? Or should he give her space? Truthfully he didn't think he could be away from her right now. It was an emotionally exhausting day for both of them and he wanted her by his side tonight. Taking a chance he removed his shirt and kicked off his shoes before laying down on her bed just as she emerged from the bathroom dressed in a pair of pink shorts and a white t shirt.

The blond glanced at his position on her bed and only offered him a smile as she shut off the light. She crawled underneath the covers next to him and lay down on her side facing him. He turned so he mirrored her actions, staring into her brown orbs.

"Natsu..." She murmured as she felt desire pulse through her from his stare. His dark eyes captivated her and felt she couldn't pull away.

"Luce." He moved to kiss her plump lips.

She responded with an urgency she hadn't felt before. She couldn't think of anything else except wanting to be closer to him. A soft moan escaped from her, which prompted Natsu to sit up and lean over the blond, effectively deepening the lip lock. He pulled away and stared down at her, his gaze filled with lust just like on that night.

"Luce?"

"Hm." She hummed in response, her eyes never leaving his.

"I need to know how far you want me to go, cause if you don't I won't be able to stop."

Lucy's eyes widened at the implication of what he was saying. But as she looked up at him, seeing the love and care that filled his eyes, she knew she wanted all of him.

"Then don't stop."

Natsu stared at her with surprise before he smiled lovingly at her. The look of trust in her eyes made his heart swell with warmth that made every nerve in his body tingle. He couldn't imagine sharing this moment with anyone else.

That night was filled with shared inexperience, trembling fingers and fumbling of clothes as well as shared laughs as they explored touching each other. It was nothing like they had imagined, but they wouldn't have had their first time any other way.

Lucy pulled the comb through her hair as she stared at herself in the mirror. She smiled and hummed to herself a song her mother used to sing with her when she was younger. She placed the comb onto the counter-top before she straightened her purple t shirt. The effort was wasted as a pair of strong tanned arms circled around her waist and pulled her towards a very firm body.

A warm pair of lips came to rest on her neck, biting gently on her skin. She couldn't stop the soft moan that came from her lips, before she sighed happily.

"You keep this up and we'll never make it over to the guild."

"Hm, I'm perfectly fine with that." Lucy knew Natsu was smirking, she could feel it against her neck where his lips returned after he spoke.

She couldn't help but laugh at his response, but she really wanted to see their family, so she reached up and tugged his hair a little roughly. He moaned out in pain, and pouted once she managed to pull him away from her skin.

"That was just mean Lucy."

The blond turned to face him with a giggle as she took on his appearance. He had left an hour ago to shower and change at his house, then changed his clothes back to his original vest and white shorts. His scarf wrapped securely around his neck where it belonged. She smiled at the though that he hadn't worm or yesterday when he had planned that dinner.

"I almost forgot, we need to clean up the food from last night."

"Aww, do we have to do that now."

"Yes we do, I'm not letting my apartment turn into your house, I like having a clean home." She wagged her finger at him as he laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head.

"Fine." He playfully rolled his eyes and set about helping her clean the mess. "But only if you let me try to cook for you again."

Lucy smiled softly. "Deal."

"Are you ready?"

Lucy looked over to the pink haired male beside her as he grabbed her hand. They were currently standing outside the guild hall doors, not having entered yet, becasue this time they weren't entering as friends, they were entering as a couple.

"How do you think they will react?"

"Who cares?" He smiled at her. "Besides they're our family, they will react like they always do to big news."

Lucy couldn't help but laugh and nodded her head as Natsu reached for the door. He began to push it open, before be smirked devilishly and kicked the door open taking everyone inside by surprise.

"We're home!" He announced, not letting go of Lucy's hand.

Her face turned a bright red as every single member in the guild glanced down to their conjoined hands.

"Are they...?" Gray began.

"You don't think..." Erza sputtered while Mira smiled knowingly. About time.

Natsu grinned before he turned to Lucy and kissed her on the lips before cheers erupted throughout the guild.

"Finally!" The mages cheered in unison.

When Natsu broke from the kiss Lucy's face was even redder than before, almost rivaling Erza's hair. She tried to look at her family, but once she caught Levy"s eye, the script mage smiled, as if telling her, I told you so.

Oh man, kill me now.

"Natsu! Lucy!" Happy flew in rush towards them, he crashed into Lucy's chest and Natsu wrapped his arms around both of them, Happy being sandwiched in the middle.

"Hey buddy, we've missed you." Natsu moved back and patted Happy on the head.

"So you guys really talked out everyrhing?" Happy questioned.

"Yup, things are going to be different from now on buddy, but in a good way."

"He's right, but don't think we will forget about you, we're a family." Lucy hugged Happy when the small blue exceed started crying.

Natsu looked to Lucy and Happy before wrapping his arm around her shoulders and turned to his family. Gray, Juvia and Erza smiled, while Gajeel smirked at Levy. Wendy hugged Carla tightly from her spot next to Romeo as she smiled at the new couple.

"Well I think a party is in order!" Makarav announced as he entered the ground floor of the guild, Laxus at his side as the lightening mage smirked at the fire dragon slayer.

"Yeah!" They all cheered before rushing Lucy and Natsu and pulling them into rounds of hugs, saying how happy they were for them.

Lucy felt her heart burst with happiness from all of the support from her guild mates. This only made her love each of them even more.

Thank you all.

                                                    Where do I begin                                 To tell the story of how great a love can be

A/N: I posted this on my FF, so I thought I’d see how you guys would like it.

[mcyourbiisshowing]

My Havenfall Route

Episode 2

JD hovers just behind me, face twisted into a snarl as they rise higher in the air with a beat of hellfire wings. They look like a character out of a drawing.

“Take one more step towards her and I’ll blast you straight to hell.” JD snarls, yellow irises narrowing to a slit as fire summons into their hands. Fire seems to erupt from the ground, creating a fiery circle around us. I finally fall to my ass, trying as hard as I could to calm. It wasn’t working.

“JD don’t-- don’t hurt him!”

When John starts to walk towards us, I let out the longest scream I can in between breaths.

“JD no! It’s-- it’s John!”

“One. More. Goddamn. Step!” JD yells, white hot fire surging from their hands. That’s when John bolts, disappearing in a few moments. The fire all around us vanishes into wisps of smoke and silence reigns- except for my short gasps.

“Sinead.” JD lands, nearly soundless before dropping to their knees right in front of me. Their face is the picture of calm as I cling onto the arms of their jacket- trying to ground myself into reality.

“Look at me…..Now breathe. Breathe.” JD’s been there before when I’ve had a panic attack, their voice a heavy warm that I noticed they always use during it.

As I stare at them, my breath finally returns to normal and I slump, exhaustion pulling at me. But there’s something more important as I take in JD’s appearance.

“What the actual fuck JD?? Since when? What? What are you??” The questions tumble out of my mouth, one after the other and JD grins.

“Welcome back,” They say, before their face falls again. They look at me, head tilted in curiosity before they sigh heavily. I see a flicker of regret pass through their face - but Im kinda busy trying to figure out which one of the thousand questions I should ask. Their hand comes to my face and my eyebrows crease in confusion. I’m the one who touches people randomly. JD is the one who tries to squirm away from my grip when I hug them.

“Look at me. This is just a like a random dream in that head of yours, yeah?” I nod, dumbfounded as JD smiles and a honeyed tone takes over their voice.

“You'll just need to go inside, get into bed and you'll wake up tomorrow and nothing will be wrong. Ok?”

“Yea.” my voice is far away for even me, and I see JDs face contort as if in pain, when my eyelids start to droop.

“I'm sorry ‘Nead.” The last thing I register is their voice and the feeling of them pressing their lips to my forehead before I feel my body slump and unconsciousness drags me under.

----

For once I actually wake up in bed.

But still in my t-shirt and jeans. Good job, nerd.

I groan as I roll over and sit up, forcing myself to get out of bed quickly. The house is surprisingly silent, but I expect that to end when I knock on Johns door.

I grab a new work shirt, peeling the t-shirt off of me and throwing the new one on, before I yell again.

“John! Get your lazy ass up.”

He doesn't respond and I grumble, kicking open his door as I do up the buttons.

“John--”

He's not there. His bed isn't even slept in, I can tell.

I rush out the door and grab the keys. Maybe he had an early shift and decided to walk to work. I start up the truck, trying to ignore my thundering heart in my chest.

---

“Sinead.” Dr.Escalondas voice makes me jump when he comes up behind me as I linger outside the diner. I spin around, looking up at him.

“John was supposed to have an earlier shift today, but he didn't show up.”

Something pulls at my chest and I try find the right words to say.

“I-- uhm. He's….he’s…..” my voice trails off, and I look around worriedly.

“Sinead?”

The rumble of a motorbike catches my attention and I spin around, the sound amplified a thousand times in my head. Bike, burning rubber. Fire.

“I…..excuse me. JD!” I yell as I bolt across the street, JD glancing up at the sound of their name being called. An easy smirk falls into place, but it falls when they see me.

“Hey nerd. You look awful.” I shoot them a glare as I get closer, only stopping when there's a couple of inches between us. JD stares at me expectantly, eyebrow cocked.

“JD I-- what. Something happened last night and I can't remember and it's all like a stupid storyline I came up with and John--”

The words fall out of my mouth in a rush, tripping over each other in an effort to get them all out. JD grabs at my wrist through, the split second of dumbfoundedness gone- replaced by a slight anger.  

“Inside.” JD growls, letting go of my wrist and instead putting their arm around my shoulder and propelling me inside the bowling alley. I try to say a quick hello to Razi, but JD interrupts me with a clipped hello of their own. I start digging my heels in when we reach the arcade machines.

“Oi!” I try wriggle away from their grip, and they let me go, but still hold onto both my shoulders firmly. They're surprisingly strong, seemingly pinning me in place with little effort.

“What. Do. You. Remember?” their voice is a low growl, and I try not let myself fluster at the sound of it.

“Fire and ash and wings and Gods JD I don't know what to do-- Johns gone and--!”

JD's face comes really close to mine, hand going to my face. Their touch is gentler now, but their hand still tightens around my jaw. Their eyes seem to search mine for something - and for a brief moment their facade fractures but it's up again in moments.

“There was no fire, no wings. And definitely not anything out of the ordinary- right? Just that crazy imagination of --” I pull away, the warmth of JDs voice pulling me under, but at the same time repulsing me as well. Like an instinct screaming Get Away!

“No! Fuck off! I know what happened!” JD’s hand snaps away in the sharp movement of a reflex and I push them hard in the chest. They don't expect it and stumble away, but they don't fall. There's a brief silence, JD’s mouth open in a shock I'm not sure I've ever seen on their face.  

“Ok JD. Please tell me what the fuck is happening and what the hell was last night.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, breathing deeply through it. The subtle panic of not knowing settles if my chest but I force it into submission.

“You're ok aren't you?” Their touch is gentler when they put a hand on my shoulder, “I think last night was the worst panic attack I've seen you have.”

“When you see your friend has fucking wings….and horns! You tend to freak out.” I try not look then in the eye, knowing full well that if they look concerned it'll make my face go beet red.

“Nah. I might have contributed,” I give them a sharp look upwards and JD gives me a guilty smile back, “but you were in the middle of one when I got there.”

“Yea, but why is my question.”

JD rubs the back of their neck. It's as of they don't know what to say, but I cross my arms across my chest tightly and wait.

“What you brought home last night wasn't your brother. All it did was wear his face.” There's a brief flash of a memory, the uncomfortable silence in the truck. That fact John didn't say a word.

“You would remember an explanation except I didn't have time to give one. I was kinda busy trying to get the thing away from you. Then when you were back to normal you looked….” They trail off, hand going from their neck to their hair. I have to tear myself away from staring too much, my cheeks heating up moderately. But they don't seem to note it.

“You looked fucking terrified. Like someone had torn open a portal and shoved you into an alternate dimension. I just….I felt like it was the best thing I could do right then to make it alright.” JD’s face creases in pain. There's a pull of guilt in my chest and I step up to them, pulling them into a hug. They don't grumble like usual when I hug them, they sigh and put their head on my shoulder.

“You did what you thought was best I guess. Doesn't answer on the question what the fuck you are.”

JD laughs softly, their voice muffled by my t-shirt. They pull away and take a step back, arms crossing over their chest and a smirk settling back over their face. A moment of silence and I huff at their attempt at anticipation.

“Well, I'm the Jersey fucking devil.”

[supesbatsy]

I saw you reblogged a supergirl post, are you fan? cause if you are, what is your opinion on the comicon situation?

wow, sorry i never expected a question like this. yes i am part of the supergirl fandom. and trust me it is one of the most toxic, vile, disgusting fandoms i have been part of. and yes i have an opinion of the comicon situation. It might be an unpopular opinion but it is my opinion and that is what you asked for. 

But compared to the posts i have seen floating around on tumblr, i think my opinion is pretty level-headed.

im gonna put it under the cut cause i think i might rant. 

Everything that happened was done in poor taste but i dont believe the intention was to hurt people. But despite that i am sorry to anyone who felt hurt and invalidated by what happened and what was said.  At first Jeremy said ‘girlfriend’ about s*perc*rp and then corrected himself by saying they are just friends, and went a step to far in the correction. 

But honestly, in my opinion, it seemed like a member of the cast snapped. And after seeing how the extreme side of s*perc*rp treats the entire cast, crew, writers, creators, and disagreeing fans, i dont blame a cast member for snapping. At the end of the day we are all human, and we all have limits, and there is only so much a person can take. 

Was it done in poor taste, and unprofessional? Yes. 

Was there any malicious intentions behind it against the lgbt community? No.   

I personally saw the statement was towards the extreme shippers not the sexuality of the shippers or the ship. But i could still see how it can hurt fans, i do. But if you actually look at Jeremy’s history, saying he is homophobic for his statement is actually pretty disgusting. Jeremy raised money, by himself, to get his cousin out of a conversion camp when he was 18. And that apology on instagram. Once again he is human, and imagine people calling you homophobic after being an ally for so many years, and over a joke that wasn’t meant to be taken so seriously. 

once again, unprofessional but not malicious. and i am so sorry for the fans who were affected by the statement. i am sorry that this happened. 

Melissa (tho i am not a stan) was fed up the narrative the extremists in the fandom were spewing about her personal life, and about Chris Wood (her boyfriend), and sending him hate because of a character he played in favor of a ship. It was like the toxic and very vocal part of the fandom forgot how to distinguish reality from fantasy, and that the actors aren’t the characters. 

Honestly if peopled had seen a glimpse of Chris Wood’s social media (actually any of the cast’s social media, and the show runners and writers) before this incident they would of felt repulsed: death threats, mocking his locks, tells a man who lost his father to suicide that his father probably wanted to leave his sorry ass, calling him a trump supporter when he has been outspoken against him, calling him a racist when he is one of the few cast members that has actively talked about black lives matter, and silenced a man who is trying to erase the stigma of mental health after losing his father to it. ALL FOR A SHIP WAR. a ship war about fictional characters, and the real life actors were getting hurt in the process. 

But the extreme shippers dont care, they care about a ship and not the actors involved. All of this was done behind computers, this is cyber bullying and i dont give a rat’s ass if they are doing it to actors, ACTORS ARE STILL PEOPLE. and as someone who was bullied growing up, i will never stand and defend this. its vile and the fandom should be ashamed of themselves. and not only is the person who gets the hate affected, everyone else in their lives are as well. this is the internet. the other cast mates, his family, his friends can see all this shit that is being posted about him. 

so i have strong feeling that Jeremy (who was occasionally on the receiving end of hate from this particular side of the fandom) has seen the toxicity that has been spreading, and knows were it comes from, and said ‘they are only friends’ 1) because he feared his ‘girlfriend’ line would be manipulated 2) was fed up and decided to take a stand against the shippers not their sexuality

unprofessional but not malicious 

I have seen hate being spread towards Mel, Chris, and Jeremy (and sometimes Mehcad) and i find that laughable. 

Chris was the only one of the ENTIRE CAST that didnt laugh when Jeremy said it. ONLY ONE. Even fucking Katie and David laughed so get off your high horse saying they were awkward and isolated. They laughed as well.

Chris, the person how has been at the receiving of the hate from this toxic vile shipping fandom, the one who should have the most reason to be upset at them DIDNT LAUGH.

(also, in the same interview, and other interviews that day, Melissa said people are free to ship what they want) 

Chris said a sarcastic comment about sexuality. SARCASTIC. HE EVEN EXPLICITLY SAID IT WAS SARCASM SO NO ONE WOULD TWIST HIS WORDS, BUT Y'ALL STILL DID DESPITE THE FUCKING DISCLAIMER, SO SORRY NOT SORRY. I DONT ACTUALLY FEEL PITY FOR YOU. 

The nontoxic s*perc*rp fan, yes. im sorry that this happened, and if it made you feel invalidated as a fan. im so deeply truly sorry.  

But the extreme toxic rude s*perc*rp side, NOT ONE BIT SORRY. NOPE

btw Rahul Kohli guest starred on one episode of supergirl and realized how bad and vocal the extreme s*perc*rp side is. Learned it in one episode. He called them hooligans, so think about that, it took him one episode to be exposed to the vile part, thats how loud and rude they are.  

and i will never respect the crazy s*perc*rps after how they treated Rahul. calling him an ape, a slur commonly used for Indians, and NEVER APOLOGIZED, and now are here demanding apologizes and playing the victim card. NOPE.

respect is a two way street, and they sure as hell havent respected the cast and crew to suddenly demand it from them. 

the nontoxic fan can, but if you so much as spewed an ounce of hate towards ANY of the actors, you literally have no footing to stand on. 

and that is my perspective from someone who is actively part of the supergirl fandom and has seen both sides and fucking understands how and why Jeremy might have said what he said, and apologized after learning the gravity of the situation. 

RANT OVER

[arojughead]

"so don’t you dare try and erase his sexuality just to fit your own dumb ass headcanons" wow… uh calling gay & bi people headcanoning him as gay a "dumb ass headcanon" sounds pretty damn homophobic to me. Also to say that we should find another character is laughable, how about you go find another character? Why must you constantly take gay-coded characters and insist they're aroace because they don't display attraction to the "opposite" gender? It's unbelievably heteronormative to insist (1/2)

(2/2) that because they aren’t attracted to the “opposite” gender they must not be attracted to anyone at all

aight dude,,,, you seem to have some Strong Opinions so i guess im gonna have to finally engage in this Damn Discourse

“calling gay & bi people headcanoning him as gay a ‘dumb ass headcanon’ sounds pretty damn homophobic to me” nice job taking my words out of context! i described your headcanons as dumb bc they erase his identity just so they can fit into whatever idea you have of who jughead jones is as a person! also nice job assuming i was talking about gay and bi people when i never once targeted any specific group within the LGBTQIA+ but rather, everyone in general! this applies to straight people too tryna make him hetace! it’s just not okay to erase his identity in any context no matter what sexuality you’re trying to make him other than his own :-)

“also you say that we should find another character is laughable, how about you go find another character?” we’ve been over this already my dude, jug is openly asexual (and likely aromantic, as he’s always expressed a distaste for romance and the chip zdarsky described him as “asexual with aromantic leanings”, but more on his aromanticism later in your next comment) and he’s literally the only character we have. how fucking ridiculous would it be for us, as the aspec community, to try and find a different character when there literally are no other characters? as someone sex-repulsed, do you have any idea how hard it is to find a character that isn’t either oversexualized by the fandom or doesn’t have some typa drama concerning their sex lives in canon lmao??? you want a character to represent the gay community so bad, kevin is literally RIGHT. THERE. not happy with him? if you want a bi character so bad, reggie has literally shown interest in both women AND men? beronica have literally kissed and while there are issues w queerbaiting there, veronica is clearly interested in betty? you have options, we don’t. jughead is literally the only aromantic asexual representation in pop culture and to suggest we “find another character” is bullshit.

“why must you constantly take gay-coded characters and insist they’re aroace because they don’t display attraction to the “opposite” gender? it’s unbelievably heteronormative to insist that because they aren’t attracted to the “opposite” gender they must not be attracted to anyone at all” for the love that is good and holy, please explain to me how jughead is gay-coded. in the entire seventy-five year run, jughead has shown TIME and TIME again that he is not interested in romantic relationships as as whole. he has had romantic encounters in the past, though the majority of them he was incredibly against or uninterested in (ethel, wendy weatherbee, trula twyst to name a few). while all those examples are women jug has literally….. never shown any sign….. of being gay either????? like, the whole point here is that he only has one great love, which is his food. because he literally could not give a damn about any other human being in a romantic or sexual context regardless of their gender. interesting that you point him out as being gay-coded when the reality is that since his creation all the signs point to him being aromantic-coded. (which, by the way, is not heteronormative of me to assume since he is not heteroromantic or heterosexual to begin with and i am not considering his relationship with just the opposite gender but his relationship with romance and sexuality as a whole instead)

tl;dr: jughead is aromantic asexual, it’s not nice to erase that just so you can imagine him in romantic or sexual contexts without feeling like an ass. thank you and goodbye.

[limejuicer1862]

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger. The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

  Magdalena Ball

was born in New York City, where she grew up. After gaining an honours degree in English Literature from the City University of New York (CCNY), she moved to Oxford to study English Literature at a postgraduate level. After a brief return to the US, she then migrated to NSW Australia, where she now resides on a rural property with her husband and three children. While in Australia she received a Masters degree in Business from Charles Sturt University and a Marketing degree from the University of Newcastle. Magdalena runs the respected review site Compulsive Reader. Her short stories, editorials, poetry, reviews and articles have appeared in a wide number of printed anthologies and journals, and have won local and international awards for poetry and fiction. She is the author of the poetry books Unmaking Atoms, Repulsion Thrust and Quark Soup, the novels Black Cow, and Sleep Before Evening, a nonfiction book The Art of Assessment, and, in collaboration with Carolyn Howard-Johnson, the Celebration Series poetry books Sublime Planet, Deeper Into the Pond, Blooming Red, Cherished Pulse, She Wore Emerald Then, and Imagining the Future. She also runs a radio show, Compulsive Reader Talks. In addition to her writing, Magdalena is a Research Support Lead for a multinational company, and regardless of what she’s doing, will usually be found with a book or two in one form or another, sneaking time for reading.

The Interview

1. When and why did you begin to write poetry?

I honestly cannot remember a time when I wasn’t writing poetry. It feels very natural to me to express myself poetically, probably because I grew up with a lot of poetry around me, from Dr Seuss and Maurice Sendak to the songs my mother, who was in a rock band, was writing and singing or the poetry my uncle set to music including literary giants like Edna St Vincent Millay, Frank O’Hara, WB Yeats and Emily Dickinson. Poetry has always been part of my environment. I created a lot of handmade ‘zines, themed booklets and celebration poems for friends when I was growing up, but my first official publication was a full centre-page spread in a Greenwich village magazine while I was an undergraduate. I’ve lost the publication now though I kept the clipping for years, but the buzz of that first publication was pretty intense.

2. Who introduced you to poetry?

I think I’d have to say my parents. They both read to me a lot – and there was poetry in the children’s books I loved (Sendak and Seuss come to mind immediately because I also bought and read many books by those two authors for my own children, but there were many books I loved when I was very young like The Story of Ping by Marjorie Flack, Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown, and Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crocket Johnson, all of which became introductions for me to what language can do as an art form, and how poetic language in particular can convey complex ideas in ways that jump past the intellect using rhythm, correspondence and imagery. I always had a visceral response to the books that were read to me, perhaps because my parents were very good readers and tended to act out the work and engage me in the process by talking to me about what they were reading, letting me fill in words and take over when I was ready. I’m deeply grateful to them for this early gift, which to be honest, I didn’t properly recognise until I was much older. Beyond being read to, I was pretty heavily influenced by my uncle, the composer Ricky Ian Gordon, who not only set a lot of superb poems to music – the sound of which formed a backdrop to my childhood as I spent a lot of time at my grandparents’ house where Ricky, who is only 10 years older than me, was growing up, but also he was always recommending and gifting books to me. I remember a book pack he gave to me when I was around 12 after he read some of my poems. I still have the books, which include Plath’s Ariel, Sexton’s Live or Die, Brecht’s Manuel of Piety and Rimbaud’s The Drunken Boat – none of which were age appropriate (!) but they certainly left a mark on me – like many young women I became a bit obsessed with Plath in particular for a while! Even now, when I see him he’ll usually recite a poem by heart to me from someone he personally knows or has recently discovered which will immediately blow me away.

3. How aware were and are you of the dominating presence of older poets?

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t suffer from imposter syndrome regularly as a writer. However, I have always been a confident reader. The delight I take in other people’s words is something that has bolstered me since I was very (possibly too) young. I think it’s fair to say that nearly all writers, no matter how famous, need and love attentive readers and reading is my happy place. So whenever I don’t feel like I’m writer enough to match the company I’m keeping (and that company may be on the page rather than in the flesh though I have been lucky enough to meet some intimidatingly good writers), I’m always able to fall back on the joy of delighting in the words of others. It’s a great privilege I think to be able to just pay attention to art that is exquisite. The sheer joy of that deep engagement is something that I think transcends age, fame, and even genius. It’s connection that is very primal and powerful and wipes out jealousy, intimidation and domination. That said, I’m always actively seeking diversity in my reading as I’m conscious that the “dominating presence of older poets” is really partly determined by a canon that isn’t necessarily very diverse. I’m actively trying to read as diversely as possible, not only because it is healthy to be exposed to what challenges you, but also because nuance and exquisite beauty can often be found in under-represented writers that isn’t so easy to find in some of the bigger, more famous names that are treated as “classics”. So I will sometimes deliberately resist that domination.

4. What is your daily writing routine?

I think it would be a rare day when I didn’t write something, but aside from that I just write whenever I can, often in brief snatches here and there, or while everyone else is watching television in the evening once the hubbub of the day has eased off. I have done things like pulled my car over to the side of the road to write something down that came to mind; written poems during business meetings; stirred something on the stove with one hand while writing with the other – you get the idea. I have three children and a day job so can’t really be precious with the time. Poetry is particularly flexible that way and can be fitted into a tight schedule but I have to admit that fiction is harder for me to write in short bursts which is why I’ve been writing a lot of poetry over the past few years.

5. What motivates you to write?

I’m not really sure what motivates me! It’s kind of instinctual. If I don’t write almost every day I find I’m not at my best – I get cranky – some variation of hangry – like there’s a hunger that needs satiating. Being able to sit down, even for just a few minutes, and put something down in writing is part of what my body needs each day – like food, water, exercise, sleep. It’s just part of how I live in the world. I get a lot of pleasure from extrinsic motivations like publication, praise (poets seem to me to be particularly supportive of one another and I’m so grateful for the gorgeous community I feel very much bolstered by), the odd tiny financial reward, and being able to perform/read/connect with readers – they’re all really wonderful perks, but the practice of writing is something I do regardless of those things.

6. What is your work ethic?

I was born and raised in New York, and it may just go with the territory but I think my work ethic has always been a little bit too strong. I have really tried to ease back on my work ethic – to be more present; to take more time on quality over quantity; to slow down a little bit and not feel like I have to be ticking every box on a daily to-do list. That said, I’m always feeling the tug to get one more thing done today. I’m trying to plan a little bit less, and to be more open as I get older.

7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

See question 2. The writers I read when I was young have had a massive influence on me – they’ve helped formed my identity and not just as a writer. I honestly don’t think I’d be the same person if I hadn’t read so much Maurice Sendak as a child. I still get a little shiver of excitement thinking about Little Bear’s trip to the moon or that wordless page of the wild rumpus in Where the Wild Things Are. I also was heavily influenced as a young adult by writers like Czesław Miłosz who I saw perform at Princeton when I was about 17, and I used to hang around the St Marks Poetry Project around that time hoping one day I might just end up having a conversation with Patti Smith, Jim Carroll, Allen Ginsberg or Anne Waldman. I was always too shy to approach them (see question 3), but I knew very strongly then that this was a place I felt at home and that theses were voices that resonated with my young self. I took a lot of that in and it helped form my identity.

8. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

I love so many writers that the answer to this question could go on for about 20 pages! It never fails to amaze me how much superb work just keeps coming out. I’m very lucky to be a book reviewer and so I get a lot of books. I certainly don’t like everything but I get at least one book a week that is excellent, often by someone I never heard of before. I know that the minute I commit a name to paper I’ll have missed out someone critical or maybe I’ll read someone tomorrow and by the time this goes to air I’ll be sad I didn’t include them. So instead of answering this question I might just ‘gather some paradise’ (to steal a phrase from the wonderful PoemTalk podcast) and talk about a few poets that I’ve recently read whose work I like. Please note that this is a snapshot of the work I’ve been in contact with over the past month or so and is in no way comprehensive! Tracy K Smith’s latest book Wade in the Water is just so good. You can read the title poem here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/147467/wade-in-the-water Another poet whose work gets me everytime is Danez Smith’s Don’t Call Us Dead. I don’t even know why but the book has brought me to tears several times and even now, I’m thinking of the title poem. I’m right in the middle of reading Anne Casey’s Where the Lost Things Go which is just so warm and lovely – so rich with empathy and compassion, and so very relevant. Another book I recently read and loved was Ali Whitelock’s And My Heart Crumples Like a Coke Can, which is hysterically funny, raw, sad and uplifting all at the same time. Both Anne and Ali are people I recently met and immediately became friends with – it was like we’ve known each other for years and we instantly began planning collaborations, tours, tweeting about one another’s work, etc. I’m so happy to give their wonderful books a shout-out.

9. Why do you write? Probably answered in question 5.

10. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”

At the risk of sounding like Yoda (it wouldn’t be the first time), there is no ‘become’ – if you want to write, write. Don’t waste too much time dreaming about it or making elaborate promotional plans (something I have been guilty of). Just get on with it. Write what you like to read best or what you feel compelling to write. Or pick a competition and begin working towards a submission. Push asdie the doubt and discomfort and that stupid “monkey” voice at the back of your head that says you’re not up to it, and just get on with it. No one is a ‘natural’ – first drafts are almost all bad, every writer no matter how well-respected is struggling with what they’re working on now, and the only way to get good at writing is, like anything, regular practice. You have to fail. It’s part of the learning curve – so get on with the failure, accept it, become comfortable in its presence and keep going. When you’ve got enough material or when your material fits a market, submit it somewhere. Then repeat the process. The one other thing you must do is to read, a lot, and diversely. If, like me, you’re nervous about promoting your own work or you’re uncertain that what you’ve done is great, then promote someone else. Shine a light on the wonderful, especially where it’s underrepresented. Everyone has the power to do that these days – leave a review, buy someone a book for a present, talk up what you love. Then get back to the table and make your own beauty. There’s no magic formula and raw talent that isn’t utilised is nothing. (may the force be with you…)

11. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

I’ve just had a poetry book published by Flying Island Books titled High Wire Step, and I’ve got another one coming out in April from Girls on Key Press titled Unreliable Narratives. Neither of those were planned this time last year and I’m really pleased with how they came together and the incredible editorial support I had on both books (I’m very grateful to Kit Kelen and Anna Forsyth respectively). I’m still a bit in promotion mode for these two and there are launches and performances planned at the Newcastle Wrtiers Festival this year and throughout the early part of 2019. I have begun working on a new book of poetry (I’m always working on a book of poetry ), and I am still working on my third novel, a sci fi which is proving to be quite difficult. One of my resolutions for 2019 is to either finish the thing or call it. Every time I sit down to write it strikes me as being too good and too far along to abandon but then I get distracted and it drifts away from my mind and the desire to work on it recedes. This is the year I either finish, or make the call. I also have quite a few multimedia/anthology collaborations in-hand, which I’m very excited about. I can’t divulge, but good things are on the horizon.

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Magdalena Ball Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.

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Welcome Tee!  You’ve been accepted as your first choice of Gal Gadot as Davina Harel.

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[ OOC INFORMATION ]

NAME / PRONOUNS | AGE | TIMEZONE

hi angels!!! it’s tee :) she/her, twenty, aest !

YOUR ACTIVITY:

usually a few hours a day!! and when i’m super busy, i’m still always around on IMs :)

ROLEPLAYING EXPERIENCE

abt six years now !!

IC INFORMATION

WHO ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE SHOW?

Please keep this layout for us. So that it is easier for us to update everything.

FACECLAIM: gal gadot

SECONDARY CHOICE: i’d rather rework her character a lil & resubmit ! :)

NAME: davina harel

AGE: twenty-nine

BIRTHDAY: june 19th

OCCUPATION: archaeologist 

HOMETOWN: jaffa, israel 

PETS: n/a !

BIOGRAPHY:

born and raised in the old fishing town of jaffa, tel aviv, davina harel was - and always would be - an outsider. in her hometown, alongside her family, and even amongst her friends – davina just never fit in. the second of three children, she grew up alongside her older brother and younger sister - who in comparison to davina, would cause their parents far less grief. their parents, who in davina’s opinion were sorely mismatched. 

her father lived and worked as a fisherman in jaffa port for his entire life, was what some people might call a ‘realist’. others (like davina, for instance), might call him an asshole. he was a cold, cruel man - surely a product of his own upbringing, which was something he never spoke of. full of harsh words, and strong hands. whereas their mother? she was soft. too soft for such a world, their father often complained. born in a small village in morocco, she moved alongside her family to tel aviv as a young girl - full of romanticism and wonder (two things davina’s father couldn’t stand). but she fell in love, somehow and someway - and a few years later, along came davina.

davina was untamable. a nightmare for her poor tired mother, even as a baby. always getting her hands around something she wasn’t supposed to, refusing to sit still and smile for family photos, and of course, she never once slept through the night. from the very beginning, davina was a puzzle piece that just didn’t fit right. the only thing that would ever soothe her was her mother’s soft singing - which her father hated, and it was therefore only reserved for moments when he wasn’t around. davina was like her mother in too many ways, perhaps. creative, emotional, romantic - but on the other hand, was full of her father’s stubbornness, as well as his conviction. but where he was a devout, traditional man, she was forward thinking, rebellious in her ideals, and unable to be domesticated. so, as you might imagine, davina and her father tended to butt heads. he wanted a simple life for his daughter: a husband, children. but davina - she wanted the world. wanted to eat it whole; wanted to learn everything she could, and to see each far off corner of the globe for herself. she did her best not to fight with her father, to try and keep the peace for the sake of her mother - but davina wasn’t the kind of girl to bite her tongue, even so young. trouble, trouble, trouble.

but she was clever. smarter than most all the other children in her class. she was an avid reader, and spoke three languages by the time she was in primary school - hebrew, spanish, and english. davina had a hunger for it: knowledge. knowing that if she ever wanted to get out jaffa - out of tel aviv - and make the life that she wanted for herself, it would be her intelligence that took her there. and oh, she wanted to sail away. fantasised about all the different places she would one day travel to, and all the different kinds of people she might live amongst. found romance in the act of disappearing. she disappeared often; into her music, into her poetry, into her history books. it was ancient history, above all else, that absolutely captivated her. history, and science. she liked taking things apart and putting them back together again - both literally, and metaphorically. she poured hours lovingly into her studies, never bored, always searching for answers. but as she began blossoming into her adolescence, much to her distaste, davina quickly began drawing lingering eyes. an object of desire from a young age, davina was forced to learned the price of her beauty. that she could never walk the streets alone, that she would never be taken seriously on her academic merit, and that she would forever exist to be an object of male desire. but davina didn’t want to exist for men. in fact, they repulsed her. she confided in her mother time and time again, begged her for answers as to why she wasn’t like all the other girls her age. why she didn’t want the attention. and she was met with same answer, again and again: you’ll change.

that’s what everyone seemed to want from davina: for her to change. for her to start taking her religious studies more seriously, for her to stop wasting all her time on school when she should be thinking about a husband, and a family. but the truth was - davina was religious, and she did want a family - although neither of which were in ways that her parents wanted for her. she had a great respect for whatever divine creature had ruling over their universe, but she knew that it was never something she could name, but rather only respect by living a good life. and oh, she dreamed of a family. she was a romantic, after all - just like her mother. but davina refused to fall into the same trappings as her mother; refused to settle, refused to waste her life with an old, miserable man. in fact, she refused to end waste her life with any man at all. because when davina pictured her life, her future, her children, she also pictured a wife. and that? that complicated things even further. davina always figured that she just… hadn’t met the right man yet. that one day, ‘he’ would come along, and everything would make sense. but love never came as a ‘he’, but instead, as a ‘she’. 

she was davina’s best friend. they would pass notes to each other in class, hold hands when walking down lonely roads after school, and kiss behind locked bedroom doors. it was an innocent kind of love, really. puppy love. but it was real for davina. and she thought it was real to her friend, as well. but after the girl’s parents discovered evidence of their hidden relationship, they confronted davina and her family - forcing davina out of the closet. her friend, or girlfriend, or whatever she was - she begged for forgiveness. insisted it was a phase, and that davina meant nothing to her. but davina? she just cried. cried, and pleaded with her father to let her see the girl one more time. but he refused. barely a week later, and davina was shipped off to a military school across the country. forced to say goodbye to her city, to her siblings, and to her mother. all things she had spent her life wanting to run from, but ached now to leave them. but none of them tried to stop her father - not even her mother. but then again, her mother wasn’t the kind of woman to put up a fight. so, off davina went. she spent her final two years of schooling in haifa, being groomed to become a solider and writing love letters to her old flame. she tried not to dwell on the fact that the letters were probably being burned, and that the girl she had left behind might’ve never even loved her anyway.

all davina wanted was to run. to disappear - like what she dreamt of doing as a child. but now, she had real problems to run from. all she wanted was to attend university, hoping to study archaeology and anthropology. after all this time, the thing that still baffled her the most was human nature - where we had all come from, and where we would go. but another complication, another roadblock: conscription. as a jewish woman, when she came of legal age, she would be required by her country to serve the israel defense force for the next two years. but davina didn’t want to fight. she had spent enough of her life fighting — she was done. her years of military schooling had only reaffirmed it: davina wasn’t anybody’s solider, and the only battles she would fight were her own. there was only one way out, for her. the escape route she had been planning since she was a young girl. her education. she applied for positions at dozens of universities all around the globe, desperate to be anywhere but there. and she got accepted - namely, to a program at a university in paris, france. so, with dreams of parisian summers and breathtaking museums, she accepted. freshly graduated from high school and weeks from turning eighteen, she gathered all the money she had to her name, and set her sights on what waited for her beyond the sea.

before her move to france, she returned home to jaffa one last time, wishing to say what might be a final goodbye to her family. but her father turned her away - refusing to let her set foot in their home. davina wished she could say she was surprised, but she wasn’t. she spent her last few days in tel aviv by the seaside, basking in the last few rays of the summer sun. daring to check in on her old flame, she discovered the girl was now married, with a husband and a child. davina wept for a week, and then vowed to never again let her heart break over a woman who didn’t want her - a promise she will desperately try to keep. but still, she had paris. and oh, did she. from the moment davina set foot on french soil, she felt at home. which was strange, because it was entirely new feeling for her. she had spent her last few months before leaving israel desperately trying to learn french (and doing fairly well), but she was nowhere near fluent, and was forced to work twice as hard as the rest of her cohort to keep up with her studies. but if davina could do one thing, it was work. during her college years, she was forced to keep to jobs, just to keep her head above water, supporting herself completely. it was sink of swim, and davina simply refused to sink. 

time flew by in paris, and things became easier as the days and weeks passed. before davina knew it, she had made a life for herself in france. friends, work, and soon, a degree. there was only one thing missing from life that had yet to fall into place: love. her past experience had left her scarred - terrified to even express interest in a woman, let alone spark a serious relationship. and that was the only kind of relationship davina ever wanted: a serious one. but suddenly, she had no problem diving in headfirst, when she met her. they met at university as davina was nearing the end of her degree, and sparks flew. suddenly, she was fearless - it would have been a crime not to act on her feelings, and do absolutely everything in her power to make this woman her’s. they had a wild love affair, living together in bliss for the next four years. during that time davina graduated from her degree, got her masters, and starting to work towards a doctorate - all the while working and travelling as an archaeologist. her career was going from stride to stride, but between her study and her work, davina’s relationship began to suffer. it was all her fault, and she knew it. her heart broke for her poor girlfriend, who she was forced to spend weeks apart from at a time while working in the field. it was tearing both of them apart. so, davina did the responsible thing - she ended it. and she cried, not breaking the promise she made to herself. because this woman did love her, and davina loved her right back. but the timing was all wrong - and timing was everything.

davina needed a fresh start. she adored france, and for her, it would always be a home, but she needed something new. so, at twenty-six she headed for london. finding work at a museum, she spent the next three years of her life focusing on her career as an archaeologist and getting her doctorate. once she had her phd, people were forced to take her seriously – forced to look past her pretty face, and to listen what she had to say. and she is a brilliant scientist. davina has been lucky enough that her work has taken her all around the globe - in fact, she’s spent the majority of her last three years out of england, rather than in it. she’s had her research published in a range of scientific journals, as well as publicised in a few documentaries and countless issues of national geographic. although young, she’s quickly made a name for herself in the scientific community, and davina has garnered a reputation for being absolutely relentless. finally, she’s begun getting the recognition she deserves - but even so, with her career doing better than ever, she still wants more. she wants that life that she dreamt of as a little girl; a family, somebody to love. 

reached out to by producers after publishing a study about lesbianism in ancient cultures, davina debated for weeks on whether or not to even come in for an interview. she had always been so private, after all, and there was some part of her that was afraid what might happen if her family back in israel saw her taking part - still terrified of her father, after all this time. but the money was impossible to resist, as were the possibilities of what it might do for her career. and, of course, what it might do for her love life.

RELATIONSHIPS:

n/a ! super down for plots, tho :)

FOR RETURNING CHARACTERS ONLY:

x

ANYTHING ELSE:

henlo i love both of u So MUch