#remus is there too i guess

[fourquartertoast]

marauders-era characters as chaotic conversations I've had/witnessed, pt.2

James: MOOOONY! Marlene is bullying me! Marlene: REEEEMUS! James is being homophobic! James: I'm not being homophobic! All I said was that you can't date my mum! Marlene: Well, your mum is hot! James: She's married! Remus: *currently running on three espresso shots and twenty minutes of sleep* You two ought to go to couples' therapy. James: ... Marlene: *not listening* We should what? James: Moony says we should go to couples' therapy. Marlene: Me and your mum? James: Remus: Marlene: Peter: *nods vigorously*

[courfee]

remus is very unimpressed, sirius is very happy :)

based on this post

[let-roman-bite-someone]

i briefly mentioned this in a previous post but i really want to talk about how patton’s growth and how he is trying his best to accept remus as part of the sides, because

he went from reacting like this to remus’s contributions, screaming or looking visibly horrified or telling remus to stop

to just casually replying to remus when he suggested that janus might have gifted him a dead animal.

keep in mind, patton is very fond of animals and these are the kind of thoughts that freak him out, but he showed no sign of distress here nor did he reprimand remus for suggesting such a thought. i’m so proud of him, he’s keeping his promise to thomas.

[norry-yippee]

Marauders ships as Hozier songs

Wolfstar- Through Me(the flood)

Rosekiller- Angel of small death and the codeine scene

Jegulus- I, Carrion (Icarian)

Marylily- Abstract (Psychopomp)

Pandalily- Would That I

Dorlene- Wasteland, baby!

[bimoonphases]

@wolfstarmicrofic September 18 - prompt 18: Floo [word count 336]

“Stay still,” Sirius said, doing his best to keep his voice from trembling and pointing his wand at the bleeding gash on Remus’s arm.

“I can handle myself,” Remus snapped, moving further away on the sofa.

All the anguish of that late autumn night reared its head in Sirius’s stomach.

“Bloody hell, Moony, it’s not a Full! I know you can handle those, but this is a wound caused by a Curse!” he closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. “Let me check it, please.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus moved his arm closer again. “I’m exhausted and it hurts.”

“I know,” Sirius started passing the wound with his wand. “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have shouted. But I was on edge all night waiting for you to come back.”

“I told you you should have gone spend Halloween at Lily and James’s,” Remus said softly. “It’s not healthy for you to worry on your own.”

“I couldn’t. I had to be here for you.”

“I love you, Pads.”

Sirius smiled over the last bit of the wound closing, leaving a pale scar on the skin.

“I love you too.”

In that moment, their fireplace roared to life, green flames almost licking the mantelpiece. They both jumped to their feet, wands at the ready, a split second before a figure clutching a bundle tumbled on their carpet in a cloud of Floo powder.

“Lily!” Remus shouted, running immediately to her as she coughed. “What happened?!”

“He… He found us,” Lily’s voice was hoarse as she clutched the bundle in her arms, a frightened Harry who began to cry. “He came to the cottage tonight.”

Sirius’s face crumbled as the meaning of that last sentence crashed on him.

“He… Pete…” he croaked, wanting to throw up.

Remus shot him a look but then busied himself in helping Lily to her feet.

“It’s alright,” he said soothingly. “You’re safe, Harry’s safe.”

“Where’s James?” Sirius managed to whisper.

“James…” Lily’s eyes were empty. “He… He held him back.”

[aeligsido]

Remus forgetting his Wolfsbane is pretty funny I think we can all agree on this but like. He didn't even have the potion at the time? He was waiting for Snape to bring it to him when he caught what happened and the Map and forgot to think™ and just went after the murderer, his best friend, and the children.

On the other hand, why the fuck didn't Snape bring the Wolfsbane with him after bringing him to Remus, not seeing him but following things™ on the Map, and then deciding to go spying on them? He had it in his hand!!! It wouldn't have been that hard!!!

Snape just tells us you want to be killed (bitten) by a werewolf it'll be quicker ffs

Anyways I think it's time we pile on Snape for being irresponsible with the Wolfsbane in this essay i will—

[littleliterarylesbian]

I feel like the big "gatcha" of jegulus antis of them having some members of each other's families on their family trees is kind of fucking weird because.... EVERY wizard that's a pureblood or halfblood has in common people on every other family tree in some way shape or form.... wolfstar,,,,, ginny x harry (idk the ship name 😦), drarry, ect. THE WIZARDING WORLD IS FILLED OF INCEST BECAUSE JOANNE WAS FUCKING STUPID WITH HER WORLD BUILDING. EVERY WIZARDING WORLD'S FAMILY TREE, IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, IS ALL CONNECTED IN SOME WAY SHAPE OR FORM. I CANNOT STAND SOME OF Y'ALL WHO DON'T USE YOUR BRAIN AND THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE USING THIS TO ARGUE AGAINST A SHIP THAT'S NOT REALLY A BIG DEAL AND DOESN'T MEAN THAT THOSE SAME RULES ALSO DON'T APPLY TO YOU'RE FAV SHIPS 🫵

[whisperingn1ghts]

Average convo between them

[one-eternal-sigh]

ugh okay I’m terrible for this but lily at her wedding, there’s laughter and dancing and she loves james, she really does

(she could, she could learn to, in the way he wanted, it was easy to, he was a better person now and he had loved her so long, and everyone said they would be perfect together, and it just fit right, and how could it be anything other than right?)

and amidst the drinks and laughter she looks around for mary only to realise she’s left early

(something came up, apparently, and marlene says this casually, because she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know about the glances and the kisses, and the things they moved on from, no one does)

but she thinks she knows why, and on what’s supposed to be the happiest day of her life she feels her heart break and shatter to the ground a little.

[sorenphelps]

🌙completely starstruck✨

[courfee]

Sirius refuses to dress seasonally appropriate, but he has a boyfriend with soft jumpers who keeps him warm :)

I got several asks for wolfstar but here is them as kiss 2 from this prompt

[usbotthrills]

I’ve got that James potter + Remus Lupin mix that’ll make me mysterious one minute then tripping over my feet the next babygurl

[padfootastic]

hohoho i am writing a remus & sirius confrontation that is ending up a little too mean and it’s verging on the edge of not fitting into FoD but by god, is it satisfying 😈😈😈

“Oh, stop pretending, Remus.” There’s a part of Sirius, not insignificant, that tells him to shut the fuck up. To bite back the words as he’d always done. They don’t expect it of him but he is perfectly capable of maintaining a civil tongue when needed. He just doesn’t want to, today. “You’ve always resented us, haven’t you?”

“Padfoot, do you even hear yourself—?” Remus’ amber eyes are bright, almost feverish, and Sirius knew that all he had to do was push.

So he did.

- brought to u by ‘i’ve been thinking about remus and i also recently read a fic that blindsided me w commentary on james’ and sirius’ social positions intimidating remus into compliance as an excuse for his cowardice and general temperament and got incredibly annoyed at how he is, yet again, victimised so i shall now endeavour to turn that idea around on its head using the ‘ol ‘u cannot help someone who does not want to be helped’ adage so help me god’

[riveatstoes]

assigning the sanders sides my liked songs

i’ve wanted to do something similar to this for a while. i did this (kind of) with just taylor a few weeks ago but this is DIFFERENT! so basically the rules were that i had to assign EVERY song in my liked songs on spotify to one of the characters, and then i shortened the lists for brevity. the criteria wasn’t very strict so it came out,, as well as you’d expect it to. there’s also a few at the end that are pairs/groups of characters rather than just one.

the criteria:

general vibes of the song/artist

lyrics (most of the time i cherrypicked the lyrics HARD though)

projecting my own hcs onto them using the songs as tools to do so

one of logan’s is only there because of an animation meme.

also some of these can be taken as prinxiety/logicality/intrulogical based because they’re rotting my brain.

Logan

- The Dark Of The Matinée, Franz Ferdinand

- Bang Bang, K’NAAN, Adam Levine

- Delicate, Taylor Swift

- Birds, Thomas Sanders

- Scott Street, Phoebe Bridgers

- Fortnight, Taylor Swift, Post Malone

- Antisocial, Anthrax

- Powers, boygenius

- Chinese Satellite, Phoebe Bridgers

- Here We Go Again, Paramore

Roman

- Souvenir, boygenius

- Applause, Lady Gaga

- Crazy In Love, Beyoncé, Jay-Z

- You Spin Me Round (Like A Record), Dead Or Alive

- Self Esteem, The Offspring

- Sad Beautiful Tragic, Taylor Swift

- love is embarrassing, Olivia Rodrigo

- The Night Begins To Shine, B.E.R.

- On My Own, Ross Lynch

- I Want You Back, *NSYNC

Patton

- Hard Times, Paramore

- Waiting Room, Phoebe Bridgers

- Get The Funk Out, Extreme

- Thick Skull, Paramore

- Pocketful Of Sunshine, Natasha Bedingfield

- Fire Flies, Gorillaz

- That’s When, Taylor Swift, Kieth Urban

- Graceland Too, Phoebe Bridgers

- Black Hole, boygenius

- Still Into You, Paramore

Virgil

- Green Eyes, Red Face, Lucy Dacus

- Dancing With Our Hands Tied, Taylor Swift

- Second Chance, Shinedown

- Moon Song, Phoebe Bridgers

- ballad of a homeschooled girl, Olivia Rodrigo

- Salt In The Wound, boygenius

- Thick Skull (Re: Julien Baker), Paramore

- All The Things She Said, t.A.T.u.

- I Know The End, Phoebe Bridgers

- Mean, Taylor Swift

Janus

- Ignorance, Paramore

- Rolling In The Deep, Adele

- Stick Season, Noah Kahan

- Build God, Then We’ll Talk, Panic! At The Disco

- Feather, Sabrina Carpenter

- Potential Breakup Song, Aly & AJ

- Ain’t It Fun, Paramore

- Angel Of Small Death And The Codeine Scene, Hozier

- Big Man, Little Dignity, Paramore

- COPYCAT, Billie Eilish

Remus

- Misery Business, Paramore

- Maneater, Nelly Furtado

- The Kids Aren’t Alright, The Offspring

- This Fire, Franz Ferdinand

- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High, Arctic Monkeys

- Motion Sickness, Phoebe Bridgers

- I Ain’t Got Time!, Tyler, The Creator

- The Bitch Is Back, Elton John

- Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time, Panic! At The Disco

- EVIL, Melanie Martinez

Bonuses!

- Janus & Patton: Who Are You, Really?, Mikky Ekko

- Roman & Virgil: Electric Touch, Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy

- Logan & Remus: I Can See You, Taylor Swift

- The Dark Sides: Not Strong Enough, boygenius

- Logan & Patton: Oh No!, MARINA

[brandstifter-sys]

The Great Bitchin Bake-Off

Chapter 1: It's a Piece of Cake (Ao3)

Word Count: 3311

Rating: T

Characters: Roman, Remus

Warnings: Brotherly shenanigans, innuendo, blood, Remus has OCD

Roman and Remus have no internet, no cookbooks, and they have to make breakfast for everyone in the mindscape. Rather than work together, the creativitwins just have to make it a competition, if only so there's something edible in the end

---

This was the worst possible thing that could happen! Thomas was camping and away from the internet, and Roman and Remus were tasked with making cinnamon rolls for breakfast, as well as eggs and sausage, but those things were easy to prepare. 

“Where is it?!” Roman groaned as he scoured the cabinets. Patton had to have a cookbook somewhere around there! Remus was sitting on the stovetop, watching his brother tear the kitchen apart. 

“You know where it isn't!” he chirped, being as unhelpful as possible. 

Roman's shoulders tensed and he said, “Then go check his room, or Janus' room! We don't have all night!” 

“It's already 3 in the morning, we clearly did have all night!” Remus jeered and jumped off the stove. 

“Will you just—” 

“Check their rooms for a third time? Ask Harlot's Web if he has it again? Scour the entire Imagination?” Remus asked dramatically, gesticulating like the prince, before he smacked his hands on the stove and laughed, “Of course not!” 

“Then what do you propose we do?” Roman hissed and spun on his heels to face the grinning duke. He absolutely loathed that sharp, twisted smile and the chaos it invited. 

“Wing it! What good is being Creativity if we can't get creative!” 

Roman sputtered and gawked at him as he skipped to the cabinets. Remus was all too happy gathering an assortment of dry ingredients that would coat his arguably plain clothes in white. There was no way this walking disaster could simply “wing it” with anything food related—the man ate cockroaches! 

“Working with you with a recipe is already more struggle than it's worth—I refuse to let you poison the others because you just had to be Eris incarnate!” 

Remus pouted at him and let his head drop over his shoulder. The unamused glare would have been disorienting for anyone other than Roman, but he was used to it. 

“At least I would poison them on purpose,” he scoffed, “You would manage it whether you want to or not, if you manage to make something worth eating.” 

Those were fighting words. Roman could see the impish smile fighting to unfurl below that infuriating mustache. There was no way he could let Remus get away with affronting his pride in such a crude manner! 

“In that case, leave and I will prove that I am capable!” the prince huffed and crossed his arms. A mistake on his part. 

“Prove this!” 

Slap

Roman yelped as a small square packet hit him in the face. That bastard was trying his limited patience. And what was worse, he was all too familiar with the size and shape of the packet. Knowing Remus…

"Was that a condom!?" Roman shrieked and whacked the packet away from his face. Remus howled with laughter. Of course he would be so crass! 

"That's dry yeast!! Way to prove you can't get laid Mr. Romance!" Remus wheezed, and set his ingredients on the counter. 

Roman fumed and stole forward, forcefully usurping the dry ingredients. He brought them to a different counter, the one with the stand mixer and seethed. 

“H—Hey! Wait a sec! You really want to poison your friends?” Remus gasped. 

“If I did, I’d leave the baking to you. And that is what I refuse to do.” 

“Now, I can take a hit, but you can't bake for shit. So gimme that flour back—Thank you!” Remus jeered and snatched the bag of flour while Roman was distracted by the limerick. He was such a prissy poet, he would have to analyze every syllable before moving on. 

Remus set the flour on the counter and pulled a large bowl and a measuring cup from the cabinets. He was able to pour a different packet of yeast into the bowl before Roman finished analyzing the poem. 

It was only when he skipped to the sink and turned on the water that Roman snapped out of it. 

“How dare you distract me with poetry!” he snapped and balled his fists at his sides. 

“Easily!” the duke jeered and stuck his hand under the tap. It had to be warm if he wanted things to work. And he would wash his hands, mainly because it would show Roman he was serious and set on baking. He was not about to leave everyone without a decent breakfast! 

Roman was sputtering more nonsense. Remus knew he was not going to convince the prissy princey to let him handle this, and if Roman didn't want to work with him, there was another way. 

“If you're so desperate to prove me right, the oven is big enough for two batches,” Remus taunted and conjured a bar of soap—one he wasn't allergic to. 

Roman seethed. He would prove that pest wrong! He would create the most perfect cinnamon rolls ever! And he would have Remus' disgusting batch to amplify his greatness. 

By the time he snapped out of his personal moment, Roman realized that Remus was no longer paying him any mind. The microwave was running and the idiot was bent over at the waist, staring at his bowl that he covered with a towel. 

“Wakey wakey my little babies!” Remus cooed, “It's time for you to get bakey-ed!” 

“What on earth—?” 

“I have to activate my yeast—I threw the instant at you, so you don't have to worry your pissy little head off! You know getting anxious brings out the spider!” Remus jeered and wiggled his butt for emphasis. 

Roman could pretend he was not grateful. He knew the sheer horror of waking Virgil suddenly, and he was not about to be the cause of such a threat. 

“If that's how you feel, you won't mind ceding the stand mixer,” he said and picked up his yeast packet from the floor. 

“Yeah, you need a fighting chance!” Remus laughed as the microwave dinged. He bounced on his heels, dancing to a song in his head, set off by the beeping. Roman did not want to know what that song was. 

Roman willed his hands clean and emptied his yeast into the bowl on the stand mixer. Since he really had no idea what he was doing, he took the measuring cup by the sink and filled it partially with warm water. 

“It’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake,” Remus sang to himself, catching Roman off guard, “If the way is hazy!” 

Roman rolled his eyes and added the water to his bowl. Surely he could start adding his other wet ingredients while Remus reminisced over a children's show. Was there milk in cinnamon roll dough? There was about to be! And of course eggs. The last time he tried baking without them was a disaster! 

He rushed to the fridge and pulled out the milk and eggs, careful not to drop them. A prince was not born to clean. And he was such a fortunate prince, setting down both ingredients before anything could startle him. 

“Then you'll have a—Break it down bitch! Lemme see you back it up!” Remus switched from singing to quiet shouting. 

Roman watched, completely flabbergasted as his idiot brother twerked and lowered himself toward the floor, still shouting: 

“Drop that ass down low and pick that motherfucker up!” 

“What the hell are you doing?” Roman scoffed. 

“Obviously I'm waiting for my yeasty babies to wake up!” Remus laughed and straightened his legs, “And singing a classic song to time it!” 

“A classic?” 

“Don't tell me you never heard ‘Cooking by the Book (A Lil Bigger Mix)’ before!” Remus laughed, only to realize that Roman had certainly not. This uncultured swine! 

“I don’t need to be familiar with a meme like that,” Roman scoffed and stole the sugar from Remus' counter. 

“Boo you whore!” Remus jeered, “Or should I say ‘priss’ instead? A whore would know the difference between a yeast packet and a condom!” 

Roman’s face decided to match his sash as he set the sugar down and turned on the mixer. He kept grumbling to himself as he added two eggs, some milk, and some sugar, accidentally spilling some milk on the floor—a humble mistake that wouldn't ruin his creation. Remus decided not to comment on his lack of measurements. Roman wanted to do this without his help, so Remus wouldn’t offer. And he wouldn’t sabotage his brother either, not that he needed to. 

What Remus would do was make some tasty cinnamon rolls! He peeked under the towel and saw a lovely little foam on the top of the mixture, which meant he could get to work! 

Without much thought, he stole the sugar and pulled out a measuring cup. He was not about to let his OCD act up if he could help it. He always liked to bake when his thoughts were too loud, since it was soothing and ritualistic. Roman had no idea how much experience Remus had, but he was about to get a glimpse. 

Once he was satisfied with the amount of sugar in his cup, Remus pulled out a rubber spatula. He was careful, slowly pouring in the sweet crystals and mixing them in the yeast goo. Roman caught sight of him and a pang of dread filled him. 

Roman was supposed to be the good Creativity. Something as sweet and adored as cinnamon rolls should have fallen under his domain! How dare Remus look like he knew what he was doing! 

Sabotage was so petty and underhanded, something Janus would do, so naturally Roman was repulsed by the idea. And sorely tempted. But he was better than that! He would just move things around, where they belong. If Remus forgot about them with that scatterbrain of his, it was his own fault. 

The duke was busy getting his stuff from the microwave when Roman gathered the eggs and milk. He paused when he saw the contents of the Pyrex measuring cup in Remus' hand. 

“Is that milk?” 

“Yup!” Remus laughed as he began adding it to his bowl, stirring it in with grace. 

“Cow's milk?” Roman pressed suspiciously 

“Yeah.”

“Why is it yellow, and with that clearish layer on top?” 

“Butter,” Remus shrugged, too focused on his task. Roman’s face blanched. How could he forget about butter!? 

With the milk and eggs in hand he moved to get to the fridge to get butter. 

At least that was his plan. 

Eek!

His foot slipped out from under him, thanks to his spill, and he fell on his back. All of the eggs escaped the carton and splattered on and around him, coating him in goop and shells. The milk, fortunately, was closed and did not spill. 

Remus glanced over his shoulder and sighed, “Did you do that on purpose?” 

“What? Why would I fall and willingly ruin my jacket with raw eggs? I'm not some saboteur with a pain kink, like you!” Roman snapped and got up. He could at least put away the milk and get some butter with some dignity. 

“I haven't done anything to ruin your rolls, Pissbaby,” Remus scoffed, “You did it all yourself. And now I don't have chicken eggs! They're the most essential part of any baked good! And oviposition! And cockatrice eggs are terrible for baking!” 

“Figure your own shit out,” Roman huffed and put the milk away. He went to the sink and tried to wash off his face and as much of his hair as he could. 

Remus tapped his chin with his knuckle. He needed the binding power of eggs, but without eggs. He made dog biscuits for his puppies, Winnie, Sarah, and Mary, and all his other critters, without eggs. He always used blood for his babies, maybe he could get away with it this time. There was only one way to find out! 

Remus summoned an ornate glass jug filled with a deep red liquid. He held it up and swirled it, eyeing it closely. Yeah, he could work with this. 

Roman could not. He dried his face with a paper towel and gawked at the jug. There was no way he was seeing what he thought he saw. Remus was deranged and feral, but he wouldn't actually put something so vile in his cinnamon rolls when he was trying to prove he could make something edible, if not better than Roman’s. 

“What is that?” 

“Huh?” Remus paused and looked at Roman curiously, “This is pig blood—It’s already been boiled to hell and back, so it's safe to eat—I wouldn't feed my sweet little babies anything dangerous, so it won't be dangerous for anyone else!” 

“It's—It’s actually blood,” Roman gawked, only capable of focusing on that detail. 

“Yup!” Remus laughed as he measured out the amount he needed. He was not going to waste any of his preciously purified resource on cowards like his brother! 

Roman, for all of his disgust, suddenly felt much more confident about his own dough. He pulled his shoulders back with pride and pulled a stick of butter from the fridge. This was child’s play! 

Remus paid him no mind as he microwaved his butter. The duke was in the zone. With all of his wet ingredients mixed, he was ready to add a pinch of salt and a fuck ton of flour. So he set that bowl aside and pulled out another one, just to make his life a little easier. 

He busted out a dry measuring cup and carefully scooped out some flour. He made sure it was packed carefully and leveled before dumping it into the clean bowl. He repeated the process a couple times until he was satisfied. 

Roman pulled his melted butter from the microwave and tried not to laugh. Remus' dish was ruined already, yet he was still trying, foolishly whisking his flour. How admirable, yet so futile! 

Roman poured his butter into the mixing bowl and let it incorporate. While that happened, he stole the flour from Remus and tried to be a good sport. 

Remus knew Roman was fighting off laughter with his petty snickers. He could laugh all he wanted. Whisking his flour was less tedious than sifting it in some doohickey! And it was easier to mix sifted flour by hand! 

Not that Roman was going to sift his flour at all. Remus watched with bated breath as Roman poured it in, straight from the bag. Without turning off the mixer. The disaster looming over the prince was too good to miss!

The cloud of white particulates exploded in Roman’s face and flour spilled out around the bowl. Roman stumbled back and miraculously set the bag of flour on the counter without much more mess. 

Of course, while Roman had some restraint when it came to laughter, Remus did not. He keeled over, cackling at Roman as he tried to dust off his face. The poor prince still had some water on his skin from washing off the egg, and the flour soaked it up into a gummy mess. 

“If you want Elizabethan makeup, use lead like a good cosplayer!” Remus wheezed, “Or are you trying to be a clown? You don’t need makeup for that!”

“If I wanted to look like a clown I would grow a mustache!” Roman snapped and rubbed the flour off his eyes. 

“You’d look hot for once if you did!” Remus wheezed and dipped his finger in his wet ingredients. 

Roman was far too irate to notice that slight movement. And he only got more irate when Remus bopped him on the nose and beamed. 

“Now you really look like a clown!” 

Roman's eye twitched when he realized what Remus had done.

“You revolting cretin!” he snapped and shoved Remus away from him. Remus laughed and got back to work. He could have his fun later. He had a task to complete! 

“You're the one who got covered in salmonella!” he jeered and slowly added a third of his flour to his wet ingredients. 

“You put blood on my face!” 

“Purified blood, milk, butter, water, and yeast!” Remus corrected and mixed his dough, “Safer than anything in your bowl!” 

Roman grumbled under his breath and checked his dough. The flour was mixed in but he would need more. He poured more in, much more carefully, lest he waste more. 

By the time he was satisfied with his dough, Remus was done mixing his monstrosity and setting up the counter to knead it. Roman would probably have to knead his dough as well. 

But first he would have to come to terms with the fact that Remus' dough looked like someone's insides as he scooped it from the bowl. Roman watched in abject horror as Remus slapped his reddened dough on the floured counter. He began to knead it roughly, slapping it with glee. The worst part was his grunting. 

"You close? You close?" he gasped with a twisted grin, as if he would get a response. 

"Yeah, you're a bad bad boy," he said and slapped his dough a couple times, "You close?" 

Roman wished he could be anywhere else, doing anything else. He was really set on proving this perverted lunatic wrong, enough to endure this idiotic display. 

“You know you need to knead that, right?” Remus asked when he realized Roman was just gawking at him. 

“Are you finished practicing for your next pornographic film?” Roman huffed and crossed his arms. He hated how filthy his jacket was. 

Remus laughed and shook his head. It was better for his thoughts if he didn’t get suggestive with only Roman there. He got back to kneading his dough, digging the heel of his palms into it. 

“Where's the money, Lebowski?!” he shouted as he continued to work. Roman could live with that. 

There was plenty of flour left on the counter from his mistake, so he simply plopped his dough on the counter and got to work. He was not pleased with how sticky his dough was, clinging to his fingers. Remus' wasn't sticking to his! 

What was worse, Remus finished kneading his dough before Roman could get it into a single mass. Roman growled to himself and got to work, ignoring the world around him. That was the perfect chance for Remus to strike. 

The duke conjured a pair of rubber gloves that completely covered his arms, and he stole Roman's bowl and mixing paddle. Granted they joined the two bowls he used, and the measuring cups, and the tiny bowl Roman used for his butter, so it wasn't sabotage. He just needed to wash the dishes. 

Remus was either very quick or Roman was struggling a lot, because he got all of the dishes done and even got the two bowls he had used greased for the next step. 

“Well, Pissy,” Remus said and set one of the bowls by Roman, “It's time to cover these and let them rise for like an hour or so!” 

“Why are you helping me?” 

“Because I feel like it,” he shrugged, “And you really need any excuse to shower and change faster!” 

Roman really couldn't deny that. He was a hot mess, and princes were supposed to slay. So he chucked his dough into the bowl before sinking out without his usual flourish. 

Remus took pity on him and covered his bowl with a warm, damp towel. Roman would absolutely need help whether he wanted it or not. He was so fortunate that he had a brother who didn't want to win because of his own stubborn stupidity. 

Once he was done covering his own dough he pulled out three sticks of butter to soften for the filling. Then Remus left the kitchen to get his hand mixer, since he would need it if Roman refused to share the stand mixer. He knew his brother all too well. But he would show that prince what happens when pride clouds the mind.

--

(2)(3)

[skz-miroh]

rip barty crouch jr you would have loved yungblud