#remember when you used to be able to buy a whole box of 10 big pizza puffs for 10 bucks
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Shoutout to the big, Chicago style pizza puffs
#I don’t#know if they make them anywhere else in the world outside of Chicago and Italy or whatever since they guy who brought them over started his#business#in Chicago lol#you’re missing out if you’ve never had one before#you might think ‘it’s just a regular pizza puff like those small ones right-‘ and um HELL NO#they’re nothing like those frauds#topping them off with lemon pepper mmmmhhhsjsj#god#rambling#I have a taste for them I might order me some man#remember when you used to be able to buy a whole box of 10 big pizza puffs for 10 bucks#then they knocked it down to 8 pizza puffs for 10 bucks#now it’s like almost 12 bucks for 4 pizza puffs bro 😭👎🏾!!!#and buying one single pizza puff from the store is like $5 bucks… what’s the point#you’re definitely better off going to a fast food joint to get the meal#since most of the time they come with two pizza puffs and fries so#well depending on where you go
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my thoughts on how to do Basically Kinda cel animation but cheap as fuck PART 2
If you haven't seen part 1 of this you can find it here:
INTRO
Ok so where were we. We had gotten through penciling last time. This part won't be super ultra mega as involved because we won't be like. You know. Building a shitty light box.
We will however be doing 🎉ink and paint🎉
I probably made you buy some of the things you need in the previous part of the tutorial but let's go over all the ingredients you need for this part. Once again the whole point of these is not to have you make the most super duper high quality thing to ever exist that will make god herself cry at the marvel wrought by your skilled hand the point is to Traditional Animate TM if you're fucking broke as shit and get your shit out there no matter what because you're stubborn and you can do this and no one is gonna keep you down. Like in part 1, I bought EVERY SINGLE ITEM in this list at the dollar store, ensuring pretty much maximum affordability (you likely will not have to go back for extras later so these will mostly be one time purchases unless you're trying to animate a bazillion fucking frames). You may even have most of this laying around your house.
You will need
-sharpie (don't worry! They have eliminated the horrible smell from when we were young! There's still a bit of smell but it's not as bad or as dangerous especially if you leave the windows open) get at least black or a dark color but you can get additional colors if you like
-clear page protectors (these come in packs of 16 and you will need 4 for every dollar store drawing pad's worth of frames if you're intending to use the whole pad. Otherwise just get as many as you need. If you need more than 8-10 packs however it becomes more cost effective to go to a big box store and buy a pack with several hundred protectors)
-gloves. You'll want to wear these while inking and painting because it'll reduce the chance you'll get a bunch of finger prints on the clear sheets, or paint on your hands. The dollar store sells nitrile gloves so I'll use those here, but typically I actually buy white cotton gloves in bulk for this.
-acrylic paint (I recommend getting at least 2-4 colors - like 2 contrasting colors and white+black. you can do a lot with a light color + darker version of the contrasting color or a dark color + white though. And you can just have ONE color only if thats what you want. It's just important to remember that you will NOT be able to dilute the paint with water if that's what you're used to doing. You also cant go wrong with just primary colors + white but my store was out of blue and yellow so :/)
-craft adhesive, specifically the dollar store kind or something like it. I'll elaborate on why later but it's really important. If you don't have a dollar tree in your area, I think the closest thing would be tacky glue? I honestly straight up do not know though. You need something paintable but ultimately MORE STICKY/TACKY than it is wet. If that makes sense
-something to mix paint on (for the sake of only getting things from the dollar store I got paper plates)....I didn't take a picture of this but I feel like you know what a paper plate is probably. You're on the depression meals enthusiast website after all
-something to put water in to mix your brush (or just use the sink I guess)
-something to dry your brush (like paper towels. I am so so serious you will need a dry ass brush)
-brushes. One of those sets with some pointy ones and some less pointy ones will work. We're not going for perfection here. Just don't get something so chonky you can't do little corners and don't get something so small painting a larger area will press your rage buttons
Ok. Onto the process.
A Note on Backgrounds
I forgot if I explicitly mentioned backgrounds in the last tutorial but if all you did was draw stationary settings on the "animation paper" for back drops then all you will need to do is go over the lines with a sharpie or even just darken them and shade with your pencil. You do not need to transfer stationary backgrounds to a cel using the process in the following section unless you really want to (it does make painting easier, but I didn't paint most of my backgrounds for my animation aside from the occasional detail. If you aren't painting detail inside outlines or animating something like say water or snow, transferring to a cel is really unnecessary). Kind of like the background below (of course, you'll note that this is a piece of paper taped to a page protector. I don't know why I didn't take a picture of literally anything else. Same idea though you just won't have to tape it to a page protector to align the image if you already drew your background on the punched paper)
Ok now onto the stuff that DOES move.
Inking
Ok! So let's in the frames you penciled when following the last tutorial. For this part, you will want your sharpie(s) and page protectors. And gloves wear the gloves.
The way this works.....In traditional animation, you would typically trace over the pencil drawings you made on the animation paper, but trace onto clear sheets that can be composited later to make one who frame of the scene. Like photoshop layers but manual.
Essentially we're going to use the page protectors as our cels and ink onto those. Typically you would use acetate cels, but the fact that no one is using them these days means there aren't a lot being made and it means that you will be shipping them from a billion miles away and they're going to cost you like 75 cents - a dollar PER CEL. Not PER FRAME. If you are animating multiple things, you're likely going to be using multiple cels per frame and it adds up so fucking fast. You also would ink onto those with something like India ink or thinned cel paint. Which are also of course expensive (these days of course people mostly do digital inking and scan their pencil drawings and trace over them onto a new layer in something like photoshop but since the focus of this info dump is the broke people equivalent of traditional animation we won't be doing that here - though you're free to like chuck this tutorial into the sun and do it anyway idc I'm not your dad).
Instead we're going to trace pencil drawings onto page protectors with a sharpie.
It's really simple.
-Take the first pencil sketch in your sequence and stick it on your peg bar (we did all this in part 1 - pencils and making the peg bar).
-Put a page protector on the peg bar as well, right on top of the pencil sketch. Mine had a bumpy side. I put the bumpy side down and inked on the smooth side. If the cel feels like it's sliding you can hold the top in place by putting a bit of tape along the top edge
-Trace the pencil lines you want to keep with the sharpie. If you got a dark one i recommend using that for most of the lines bc it'll show up better but it can look cool to combine colors as long as they're kind of dark ish (important bc this will not be as dark as traditional ink) but it's your call. Also make sure to indicate the frame number somewhere inconspicuous like the very bottom next to the peg holes. Probably a good time to mention that you absolutely need to use the same type of page protector you used to line up the peg bar holes in part 1, though if you want to re-punch holes in your page protectors and use a different brand I guess I'm not going to stop you. I also won't stop you for trying other ink, but I am going to tell you that in my lengthy journey to find something that would stay on these and not smudge, sharpie was the ONLY think that could do it (well and alcohol markers like Copics, but they are way too expensive for this tutorial and don't show up as well).
-Repeat for the next pencil in the sequence etc
When you're done with those let's move onto paint! Dry time for sharpies is pretty short.
Painting!!
Ok this part was a bit of a challenge for me to figure out because NOTHING wants to stick to these little shits. What I didn't pay in money I paid in rage I guess. But I did figure it out.
Here's what I came up with. For this part you'll need all the other supplies in the ingredients list (and no I don't plan to stop calling it that I have a really boring sense of humor and it's still funny to me after 5 times and you count your lucky blessings I haven't amused myself further by switching to Ingredience).
-once the sharpie is dry on one of your inked cels, put the cel face down and make sure it's held in place with the peg bar (you won't be tracing anything in this step obviously but it'll help keep things steady). By face down I mean the inked side should be up against your drawing surface - you'll be painting on the back of the cel (so like if you drew on the smooth side then paint on the bumpy side) (I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS STEP. I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE)
-Mix up your first color but HOLD OFF ON PAINTING TILL YOU READ THE NEXT STEP (Also note that what you start with matters - Paint from smallest most detailed area to biggest area, allowing dry time between step along the way. Basically figure out any detail areas and paint those first)
-Add glue to the paint on your pallette. I had a world of a time figuring out how to do the paint for this because NOTHING wants to stick to page protectors. I experimented with several types of glue mix ins to see if I could get it to adhere. After trying to mix the acrylic paint with (individually) Elmer's glue equivalent, modgepodge, and a watery more instant craft adhesive, I realized none of those would work. The paint just continued to bead up on the "cel". The dollar tree liquid craft adhesive did however cause the acrylic paint to stick. I experimented with the ratio and found that typically adding glue in the amount of 25-50% of the paint volume was sufficient to get the paint to stop beading, while still not diluting it so much as to cause it to dry clear or translucent.
In the first picture below, paint + that glue on the left was by far the most successful.
-ok! Go ahead and paint! - like I said before, start with details, let them dry, then do larger areas on top. Let everything dry. You may need two coats for larger areas but yeah wait for jt to dry before deciding. (Oh yeah I fucked up one of my pegs so I wasn't putting the thing on the peg bar here, mostly also bc I had nothing to trace anyway. I did also lose my tape so I'm holding it in place with a piece of kneadable eraser. You don't have to do this you can use tape just dont get it on the part of the image you intend to have in the shot (and chances are you WILL crop some of the final image in post anyway))
Once you've done all this and all your frames are dry it's time to put it all together! And that will be the topic of part 3, which will come soon! (I will show how I did it for Fate For A King, but I also realize people may not have access to all the same things, so I'm doing a bit of experimentation to find other methods of eventually ending up with a thing you can upload to tumblr ultimately)
If you click the following link and it takes you to a complete post then yay! That means I came back and wrote it at some point. If you go there and it's still a placeholder post though don't worry! I will get to it, I just want a working link here in case anyone reblogs this in the future so they won't have to go piece together the whole trail of posts.
Part 3 link!
#Animation#Tutorial ....kinda....idk what I'm doing really I'm just giving you ideas based on what worked for me#2d animation#Cel animation#Ink and paint
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Whilst I actually remember that I exist here, may I quickly catch you up on some News of various types?
1) the RomPod podcast episode that's got an interview with, er, me, and also the lovely romance scholar Maria Ramos-Garcia, is up now, if you want to hear me ramble about things! We're in episode 2, which you can find here.
2) if you're looking for a good cause to support this month, and some great short stories celebrating queer joy in all sorts of flavors, you might like to check out this anthology kickstarter from Amphibian Press - I've got a story in there! Something brand-new and shiny and exclusive to this collection! (I think we're not supposed to announce the full lineup yet, but there are some lovely author-friends in there too!) Proceeds are going to benefit Club Q!
3) this one’s probably the Big Thing - the Character Bleed box set - with the original three novels, plus new author’s note, and updated cover art - is coming June 10 from JMS Books! Ebook first, then paperback probably in about two months - yes, it’ll be massive! I really want to see it. It’s going to be...wait for it...332,890 words. (Good heavens, did I write that many words?!) It’s actually sort of experimental - JMS said they don’t normally do paperbacks for box sets, but this trilogy has been such a consistent good seller, they’d like to try at least a limited number in print. (So maybe please buy one when that happens? If nothing else you can probably use it as a hammer, or a doorstop, or a weapon.)
This is closer to the way I originally wrote it, as one giant novel - I broke it into a trilogy to, y'know, make it publishable! This volume includes the short stories that came with each book - including the ones that were never on AO3, at least one of those per book. The short stories published separately will get collected into a second volume! (I am STILL working on Leo’s book, which might have to be two books, because it is now 116k and NOT DONE *screams quietly into pillows about not being able to write short things*)
I don’t think the Amazon link is live yet but here’s the JMS Books link!
4) with the Academic Hat on, I am your Fantasy & the Fantastic Area Chair for the Pacific Ancient & Modern Language Association Conference! We've got several great proposals but should have room for 1-2 more - if you are working on some fantasy-adjacent research / creative work with meta-cognitive component, and you want to come to Portland in October, send me an abstract over here! Or, if you are in or near Portland, would you like to hang out, meet up, say hi? Or, any recommendations? I’ve been to Portland once before but also for Academic Conference Reasons, so not lots of tourist time. Awesome Husband might come this time because he’s never been to Portland and he’s got some vacation time. We like history, good craft beer, botanic gardens, water, queerness, and libraries. I think the conference hotel is some sort of Hilton in the downtown area?
5) officially got the rights back from Inkshares* for my first** novel, A Prophecy for Two! (Plus they sent me the last paperbacks they had in inventory, so a- those are I guess rare-ish now, since there'll never be another of those editions - want to buy one for cheap? *laughs* I mean I’m semi- serious; they sent me like 13 paperbacks, and I do not need that many! and b- I think that's it as far as that relationship! *dusts off hands*) Now to give the whole thing a polish and republish it with JMS - we've already had conversations about that, so it’ll happen!
*I’ve got complicated feels about Inkshares. That’s a whole other post. In the short form: did I get a book out of it, when I was an unknown author? Yes. Would I advise someone else to work with them? No.
**first in terms of being completed. A Demon for Midwinter ended up being published first, because of publisher schedules and JMS Books sending me a super-quick offer and having great editorial turnaround.
6) okay, I THINK that’s it! Actually, a totally non-publishing related thing: I just had a student submit - for a 12-page paper requirement - a paper that was 21 pages. Yep.
Honestly, it was kind of lovely - he’s a good student, he’s a good writer, and he already submitted a 14-page version that was excellent, but then he asked if he could send me an updated version “to make it as good as I possibly can,” and I said yes, because he *is* a very good writer, and then. A 21 page paper showed up in my email. Not including his Works Cited section, or the lengthy email in which he told me how much fun he had in my class and getting to write about monsters and monstrosity and ethics and agency. My god, student, I am both impressed and vaguely in shock. I mean, that’s why I do this job, that’s why I love this job, but also - he sent the updated version to me the *day* before final grades were due. (He already had an A.)
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Southpaw
pairing: jungkook x female reader (ft. a little sprinkle of namjoon)
genre: childhood friends to lovers, boxer jungkook, college/frat au
includes: swearing, angst, mentions of blood and violence, pining, smut (public/private, unprotected sex, hair pulling, jungkook is big guys, duh), alcohol, smoking weed, jungkook seems like an asshole but he’s really not, OC having a crisis every two seconds, some fluff here and there as well, also this takes place over many months just saying if time gets confusing
premise: Knowing Jeon Jungkook for the better part of your life, you thought you knew everything about him. Well, that was before you two disappeared from each other’s lives at least. When Jungkook suddenly finds himself buying you a coffee to rekindle your friendship, it leads to much more than you bargained for.
word count: 30k (she’s a monster sorry guys)
quick note: this is my first story back in a year(?) give or take some weeks!! kind of nervous to post & not sure if my writing has declined in anyway but nonetheless here is the beast that has been sitting on my computer since April 2019!! quick disclaimer I don’t know much about boxing so if I get stuff wrong - I apologize!! please enjoy & let me know what you think ❤️happy 7 years BTS!
recommended songs for reading: pray (JRY, RuthAnne), mushroom chocolate (6lack, quin), hallucinate (dua lipa), wus good/curious (partynextdoor)
_____
The evening was slow—after all, it was only a Wednesday. You had just finished serving a table of two—a young man and young woman—presumably on a midweek date. You didn’t recognize either of them which wasn’t surprising considering the campus grossed about 20,000 people. You began to wipe down tables out of boredom, glancing at the clock every two minutes hoping it would jump to when your shift was over in forty-five minutes. Thankfully, you didn’t have much work to do when you got home, but you are wishing to get in bed before 10:30 to get a full eight hours of sleep for your lectures tomorrow—something you had not had in about two months. Most days, like today, you were running on five hours of sleep and five cups of coffee. It wasn’t healthy, you knew that much, but it’s how you had to live your life. Your schedule was too demanding to hit the snooze button multiple times. You had shit to do—and getting your degree was the top priority.
“Y/N,” your coworker, Mark, called your name from behind of the counter.
“Yeah?” You respond.
“Will you come help me clean this out?” He asks you and you nod diligently.
“Of course,” you say, dropping your current task of wiping already clean tables. Mark was the one student that worked here you could stand to be around. He was very much like you in the sense that school came before anything—he too was on a full academic scholarship. He worked here before you, but he made you feel the most comfortable out of everyone. You would consider him a close friend at this point.
The espresso machine was a pain in the ass to clean and did call for two people most of the time. Besides, you would rather smell the remnants of coffee beans than the harsh chemicals of bleach gliding across a table.
“You have much work to do after your shift?” He asks you.
“No, thank god,” you shake your head, “I got most of my shit done between my classes today. You?”
“I have to write a ten page paper by midnight,” he sighs, “And guess how many pages I have started.”
You give him a short glance, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say zero.”
“Damn right,” he smiles. A short silence between you two ensues before he speaks again, “Oh! Did I tell you I’m graduating early?”
“What? Really?” You look at him and an excited grin plays on his face. “When?”
“Yeah, I spoke to my advisor this afternoon and turns out, the classes I’m taking this semester is all I need for my degree,” he speaks with a relieved tone.
“Wow, that’s awesome,” you say genuinely, “I wish that was me,” you give out a small chuckle.
“I’m just glad I don’t have to keep stressing over this hell-hole,” he laughs, “The sooner I get out of here, the better.”
“I feel you on that,” you say, “I’m proud of you nonetheless, you’ve worked your ass off dealing with this scholarship.”
He gives you a small smile in return but it’s broken by the bell ringing from the door, signaling a new customer has decided to come in. Your eyes break from Mark’s and glance over to the door, your head doing a double take.
Your mouth goes dry when you see them—more specifically—him.
No, it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him, but you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him outside of a frat party on the weekends. And truly, it was your first time getting a good look at him in awhile. You felt nervous—though you had no reason to be nervous. You had known him since long before your days as university students, but since you weren’t plastered in this scenario, looking at him seemed more like a chore than ever.
“You want me to get their table?” Mark asks you and you look back at him.
“No, I got it,” you say, throwing down the cleaning cloth, wiping your hands on your apron.
The small group of boys are too busy in their own conversation to see you approaching them. You clear your throat before grabbing some menus off of the podium.
“Hey guys, welcome,” your voice breaks their conversation. The three men your age turn to you all at once and a small smile erupts from one of them.
“Y/N? I didn’t know you worked here?” Taehyung—another person you knew all too well—smiles and speaks brightly
“Yup,” you say simply, “Just been here a little over a month,” you explain pressing the best smile you can muster up. “C’mon, I’ll get you seated and get your order in.”
You lead them towards the back of the small restaurant, seating them in a booth. As they follow you from behind, you can feel their eyes burning into your back and you feel like screaming at the top of your lungs. They sit down and you pass out the menus.
“What would you guys like to drink?” You ask, putting a hand on your hip.
“I’ll take a coke,” Hobi—you remember his name easily as you see him around in a few of your classes.
“Coke as well,” Taehyung says.
“Jungkook?” His name rolls off your tongue and it sounds foreign. You couldn’t remember the last time you had said it, let alone to his face. His brown eyes meet yours and he clears his throat.
“I’ll just take a water,” he finally speaks, his gaze breaking just as fast as it met yours.
“I’ll get those right out,” a grimace spreads on your face and you turn on your heels to fulfill their drink orders. You hadn’t expected the encounter to be so awkward and have so much tension—but what did you expect?
Your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was a strange one to say the least. You had known him longer than anyone you associated with—you meet each other at the tender age of eight in elementary school. You remember that day so vividly.
You had been assigned a seat right beside of him the first day of school. He kept his eyes away from you. Being the energetic child you were, you were expecting him to introduce himself but—he never did. It actually took being in school a whole week to get him to talk to you. You nudged his arm with your elbow and his eyes meet yours for the first time. You smiled at him, “I like your shirt,” to which he responded a small, “Thank you.” He picked at his nails and you smiled at him again, “I’m Y/N,” though he would already know that sitting beside of you. “I’m Jungkook,” he spoke again with a shy smile. That day would change both of your lives—all thanks to you and your mouth that couldn’t shut the hell up.
Four years later, at the age of twelve, Jungkook was your best friend. For four years, he was the one person you had came to all about your problems—he as well. The two of you would complain equally about school, he would complain about his older brother picking on him, you would complain about your younger sister bothering you nonstop—the two of you were more alike in more ways than you could imagine. Despite getting older and more different, you and Jungkook shared the same friend group. You had met a girl named Kim Jennie during a pre-algebra class and Jungkook had met a lively kid named Kim Taehyung—no they weren’t related but you often joked about it. It was nice having another close friend instead of just having Jungkook—especially a girl. You and Jennie had more in common than you and Jungkook and Jungkook and Taehyung and more in common than you two. But—the four of you clicked and you spent nearly everyday with each other.
At sixteen, a lot of stuff had changed. Yes, you, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jennie had all remained best friends, but high school was definitely not the same as middle school. You and Jennie joined the tennis team, Jungkook and Taehyung joined the soccer team—Jungkook also joining the baseball team—which kept the four of you more separated than you would have liked. The four of you all sat together at lunch each day, but as each day passed, something felt different with Jungkook. And then, halfway through your second year of high school, the news broke that Jungkook had a girlfriend—a cute girl named Yuna—who was actually older than him by a year. You felt indifferent about it. He didn’t speak to you as much as he used to and he would ditch you, Jennie and Taehyung to hang out with her. It didn’t bother Jennie or Taehyung as much as it bothered you—but then again—you had known him since you were eight and it felt weird not being Jungkook’s number one girl. You hated to say it—but you were jealous and you had no idea why.
Two years had passed, the four of you all eighteen and fully legal now. It was the end of your last year of high school and you could not be more ready to leave. Growing up through high school together, the thought of all of you going to the same university was a dream. The four of you were excited to move on to new things. Jungkook and Yuna had broken up a few months prior, not being able to work through the distance of her being away at college. Jungkook soon started molding back to how he was before—texting you throughout the day, complaining, just being Jungkook—you were happy, happier than when he was with Yuna. It was May when you had received the news that you had been offered a full ride academic scholarship. You cried and cried tears of joy—finally busting your ass for so long had paid off. Jungkook was so proud of you, though he didn’t outwardly show it, the way he looked at you when you had told him was all you needed. Taehyung suggested it—a small celebration of sorts for you—a.k.a. the four of you getting absolutely plastered in his basement. Taehyung had managed to steal some alcohol from his parents and before the four of you knew it, beers had been downed and half a bottle of tequila had been drank. You were laying on the floor, giggling at everything Jennie did, dancing around the room with a bottle of vodka in hand. Jungkook had laid down beside of you, his eyes boring deep onto you. You crane your neck and give him a small smile, not realizing how little space was between the two of you. Jungkook supports himself on an elbow and it was then you had realized how handsome Jungkook had actually become. He spent so long away from you when he was dating Yuna, you didn’t realize how much he had grown into his features. That night—was singlehandedly the best and worst night of your life.
You had no idea what came over you, but you stood up throwing out your hand for Jungkook to take. He grabbed it with no hesitation, him towering over you as your chests touched and it was the closest the two of you had ever been. Jungkook had looked over to Jennie and Taehyung, still drinking and acting stupid, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into the closest bathroom and shutting the door. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you grip his shirt tightly. The next few moments are a blur—Jungkook kisses you—actually kisses you. He gripped your waist tightly, pushing you against the door. A small whine emitted from your lips as he pulled away and you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He kissed you again, pulling your thigh up to rest in his hand. This was wrong—so wrong in so many ways. But neither of you stopped until a bang from the other side of the door broke the steamy makeup session.
That night changed everything between you two. Neither of you talked about it ever again. Despite being so drunk to the point of blacking out—you remember every detail—and so did he. That summer, you and Jungkook grew apart. And it was the worst thing to ever happen to you.
Now, at twenty-one, almost through university, you had interacted with Jungkook only a handful of times. You had studied together a few times your freshman year, but after your first year, you could count on your hands how many times you had seen each other. Most of the time, only seeing him at parties with other girls hanging off of him. It was painful to see. Even after 3 years of a drunken kiss in Taehyung’s bathroom, it hurt more than ever to see Jungkook with other girls—but at the same time you didn’t care. You had moved on and so did he. You two were now strangers but your life was good—you didn’t need him like you used to think. And he seemingly didn’t either.
“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Mark nudged you out of your obnoxiously long reverie and you jumped out of your skin. “Are you okay?” He asks.
You look down and realize that you haven’t taken the three of them their drinks, the ice now watering them down to shit.
“Y-yeah, I’m just tired is all,” you begin to pour out the drinks to get new ones before Mark stops you.
“Here, I’ll handle them,” he says, “You can go home early, it’s fine,” he smiles.
“A-are you sure?” You ask him, not wanting to leave him by himself.
“Yeah, it’s about closing time anyways. Just head out, I’ll close,” he nods with a smile and you can’t help but to throw you arms around him.
“Jesus, thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you one day,” you tell him pulling away. You wash your hands quickly and throw off your apron.
“Get home safe,” he says and you tell him the same before grabbing your bag. You glance one last time to the table in the back and unexpectedly, Jungkook is staring at you. It makes your breathing hitch and you turn around on your heel quickly, not wanting to linger on his gaze longer than you need to.
_____
The weekend comes slower than you would like, but it’s Friday which means one thing—time to go out and get a much needed dose of social life. You and Jennie had found yourself at the Beta Tau Sigma crush party at their fraternity house that evening.
“Here you go, m’lady,” Namjoon comes into your peripheral vision, handing you a drink he specially made just for you.
“Thanks,” you give him a small smile. You take a huge gulp without hesitation—you trusted Namjoon with your life. Not only was he on academic scholarship too, he was also the president of this fraternity which meant if he didn’t act straight—he would face serious consequences. The mix of brains, being ridiculously handsome, and being in a fraternity was a recipe for disaster—he was your type—bonafide. You were his type too which is maybe why the two of you clicked so well, particularly in bed.
“My feet are fucking killing me,” you groan glancing down at your heels, rolling your eyes in the back of your head. Namjoon throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.
“At least you look hot as fuck,” he lips brush against your ear and you give him a glare.
“Isn’t hot kind of a degrading term in today’s world?” You press.
He narrows his eyes at you, “Fine—you look beautiful, cute, sexy—is that better?”
“Much better,” you nod playfully and Namjoon gets bold—pulling you even closer to him for a small peck on your lips. Eyes linger on the two of you but you couldn’t care. So many girls would love to be in your position and you feel lucky to have captivated Namjoon at least for now. Besides, he was good at fucking and you needed stress relief, as did he.
Unsuspecting, Jungkook waltzed his way into the room and he immediately stops when he sees the sight of you and his older brother Namjoon. He had heard rumors about the two of you, which he brushed off—you would never go after someone like Namjoon—oh who is he kidding? You and Namjoon are the same person and it kills Jungkook inwardly. The way Namjoon is nuzzled into your neck and the way you're smiling, giggling to every word he says, makes him feel uncomfortable. You looked so different at parties than how he saw you a few days ago at your work. Your legs looked sexy as fuck in your short black dress, your hair flowed down beautifully as opposed to being thrown up, the way red lipstick painted your mouth made him semi hard. Jesus, how after all this time, does he still think about you like this?
Your eyes break away from Namjoon and your smile falls when they meet a familiar set of doe eyes from across the room. Your breath hitches and Jungkook looks so handsome you want to die. His dark hair is slightly parted, his button up is undone at the top, and his legs fulfill his pants better than any guy here. He downs two shots, not breaking his gaze from you. You feel intimidated by his gaze and presence, despite having seen him at these things multiple times. The only difference is that now—he’s giving you some attention that you weren’t ready for.
Your gaze breaks away from each other when a group of loud boys—including Taehyung as well as Kai, another brother within the fraternity—come rushing into the room, hauling a keg in tow.
“Hyung! Come on,��� Taehyung teases drunkenly as they set down the keg. There are many hyung’s for Taehyung in the room to not have specified which one he was talking about, until he deadpans on Namjoon. “Namjoon-hyung, come on!”
Namjoon begins to shake his head in protest, “I’d rather not,” he puts his hands up, keeping his distance from Taehyung, “Gotta keep an eye on this one tonight,” he nudges you and Taehyung’s eyes widen when her realizes it’s actually you, standing beside of his older brother.
“Y/N! Hey! What’s up! Didn’t expect to see you here, especially with this one again,” he narrows his eyes to Namjoon.
“Hi Taehyung,” you give him a small smile.
“Do a keg stand with me?” His eyes bulge out like a puppy dog and your own widens in shock at the question.
“Oh no,” you protest, looking up at Namjoon, “Last time I did a keg stand was freshman year and I said never again,” you explain to him. He gives you a pout.
“Fuck,” Taehyung says, “Well who is gonna do this shit with me then?” He sounds impatient and frustrated.
“Get Jungkook too—he’s been looking over in this direction for too long, give ‘em something to do,” Namjoon says and you look up at him. Did he notice Jungkook looking at you? Shit.
“Hell yeah, that little shit will definitely do it,” Taheyung smirks and yells for Jungkook to come over. Jungkook is preoccupied with a girl before Taehyung breaks his mojo from across the room. Jungkook sees Taehyung and you standing together and he furrows his eyebrows. He excuses himself from his pussy date for the night and saunters his way over towards your direction. You keep your eyes anywhere but Jungkook as he approaches you.
“Hey hyung,” Jungkook greets Namjoon, “Y/N,” he says slowly and you tense up. “What do you want Taehyung?” He spits out. He’s clearly buzzed as the attitude coming off of his tongue is stronger than usual.
“Do this fucking keg stand with me pussy,” Taehyung presses and Jungkook scrunches his nose.
“Fuck no,” Jungkook responds and Taehyung rolls his eyes.
“Come onnnn,” he drags out, begging his life long best friend to do it.
“Absolutely not, I’ve done it once and I said never again,” Jungkook says and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. Taehyung looks at you and Jungkook and shakes his head.
“I swear you two are the same person in a different body, it’s weird,” Taehyung says, “Your loss,” and Taehyung is soon leaving your side to find someone else to do his proposition.
Jungkook is left standing in front of you and Namjoon in an awkward silence.
“Don’t forget, you’re on clean up duty Jeon,” Namjoon raises an eyebrow at the younger man.
Jungkook groans, “Fine, whatever hyung,” his words run together as he gives you a final glance, “See you later Y/N,” is the last thing he says before he walks away to find the girl he was smooching up prior.
Namjoon gives you a weird look before you are furrowing eyebrows at him, “What?” You ask.
“What’s up with you two?” He asks motioning over to Jungkook.
“What do you mean?” You gulp down your drink hoping to hide the nervousness in your tone.
“Didn’t you two use to be like, best friends or some shit?” He asks.
You shrug your shoulders, “Yeah, when we were kids,” you chuckle.
Namjoon doesn’t seemed convinced, “I remember you two hanging out a lot during Jungkook's freshman year here, what happened?”
You shrug once again, “People grow apart,” you answer simply, not wanting to go in detail how one kiss basically ruined whatever your friendship was with him. Namjoon suddenly smiles, a dimple showing in his left cheek.
“You know he talks about how hot you are? Not all of the time, but I’ve heard it before,” he laughs and you freeze in your spot.
“What are you trying to prove by interrogating me Joon?” You say with some attitude. That was the least thing you expected to come out of his mouth.
“Hey, I’m just asking questions!” He defends himself, “I just didn’t know if something happened between you two—like you dated or something and shit got weird, I don’t know… just curious,” he chuckles a bit.
You eyes widen and you feel yourself getting warm, “Oh no, we never dated or…anything like that…” you trail off. “We’ve just grown apart, we’re too different now.”
Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, “According to Taehyung you two are the same person.”
You glare at him, “Get me another drink,” you shove your cup into his hand and see laughs at you before sauntering away for a few seconds. He comes back with a full glass and you down half of it in a few seconds.
“Ew,” you scrunch up your nose. Nice, you think to yourself.
“Maybe you should talk to him? I’m sure having an old friend is nice every once in awhile,” Namjoon continues, clearly interested in your history with Jungkook.
“I have Jennie,” you answer, “Besides, conversation goes both ways. If he really wanted to be friends again, he could talk to me.” You knew that answer was stupid. Jungkook didn’t even speak to you when you were younger. You were the one that initiated the friendship, not him, and you knew that.
“Whatever you say space cowboy,” Namjoon draws out and you give him a glare.
“Did you just quote Kacey Musgraves?” You ask with a small smile on your face.
“Fuck yeah I did,” he smirks, “She’s a gay icon are you kidding me, I’m obsessed with her.”
“Joonie, you’re not even gay,” you laugh.
“So? I love anyone who supports gay rights! Don’t discriminate my quotes!” He defends himself and you cannot help but laugh at him.
“Let’s go dance,” you grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen onto the main dance floor. Namjoon was perhaps one of the more attractive people you’ve met here in your four years. He oozed sex appeal and charisma, which is why anytime he wanted to hang out or take you to a party—you obliged. If it meant getting in his bed at the end of the night, wearing the heels was worth it.
Namjoon puts his hands on your waist and the two of you dance to music in the crowded dance floor. Namjoon grabs a bottle of liquor from one of his other brothers who you have never met before and the two of you share a nice gulp of the cheap—but very strong—vodka.
You haven’t had too much to drink but you know if you drink anymore, you will not make it back to your apartment. You push the bottle away from you and turn to face Namjoon. His brown eyes stare into yours with a glassy, tipsy appearance, and he smirks at you.
“What?” You question him as his grip gets tighter on you.
“I wasn’t lying when I said you looked hot,” he says smoothly and you roll your eyes yet again.
“How sweet,” you grumble, biting down on your bottom lip. Without a warning, he leans in and pecks your lips gently. The alcohol in your veins surges through you as you lean back in and close the gap. Even in your heels, you still have to crane your neck some to fully reach his stature. His hands grip your waist tightly and you tug at his light brown locks, pulling him impossibly closer to you.
He presses himself into you a little bit harder and you can tell he wants you, his hands gripping one at your waist and the other one in your hair. Everything around you goes blank was it only feels like the two of you in the room together. Unfortunately, your moment is ruined when someone bumps into the two of you, knocking you apart. Namjoon steadies you and he glares at the two girls that ran into you.
“You want to get out of here?” Namjoon says into your ear, his breath fanning over your neck sending chills down you body.
“Yeah,” you nod a little too excitedly and he grabs your hand pulling you away from everyone. Namjoon is taking you up the stairs before someone calls out your name.
“Y/N!” You turn around in Namjoon’s grip to find Jennie holding onto the railing of the stairs, swaying back and forth drunkenly.
“Oh god,” you mutter.
“Is she okay?” Namjoon asks as he follows behind you back down the stairs. No, in fact, she looks terrible.
“Jennie, what’s up? I thought you were with Suzy?” You ask her and her face scowls.
“I was, but then… he showed up,” Jennie says, knowing exactly who she is talking about, “And he brought another girl with him! Y/N, what’s wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him?” Jennie is rambling as tears began to flow down her face. You look at Namjoon as he assesses the situation.
“I-I can get an Uber for her, if you’d like?” Namjoon offers and you nod.
“Please?” You beg and Namjoon grabs your hand squeezing it reassuringly before walking away to get the car.
“Jennie, come on, snap out of it,” you tell her and she continues to sob in your arms.
“Y/N, I don’t get it, I love him and he says he loves me but he does this shit all of the time,” she rambles.
“I know, I know,” you try to calm her down, “Jennie your drunk right now, but you’re so much better than him. I know you don’t realize it, but you are—“
“He makes me feel like shit,” Jennie sighs and you cradle your friend. Unfortunately, Jennie doesn’t have the best taste in men and she finds herself stuck in toxic situations she can’t get out of. You wish you could help more then you do but when Jennie is drunk, it’s hard to get anything through to her.
“Come on, let’s go to the bathroom,” you pull her up before she starts fighting you.
“I don’t need to use the bathroom though,” she pouts.
“Well, you might, let’s go,” you manage to hold her up and get to a bathroom in a hallway that isn’t too crowded. You reach for the handle only to be disappointed that it’s locked. Great.
You beat on the door with your free hand, “Hurry up in there! I have a crisis hanging off of my arm!”
“Hey, don’t call me that you bitch,” Jennie frowns and you roll your eyes, knowing she won’t remember any of this in the morning. You beat on the door again and again and again and finally, someone unlocks it and opens it fully.
The sight makes your eyes widen and your body heat up on fire. In front of you stands Jungkook against the counter zipping up his pants and the girl he was with earlier standing from her knees, wiping her mouth with a smirk. She leaves the bathroom, leaving you standing there with Jennie alone. When his eyes meet yours, his face goes ghostly pale. His mouth parts open and he feels like crawling into a hole to die.
“Y/N, Jennie?” Is all that comes from his mouth.
“Move Jungkook,” you say sternly and he moves to make room for you two in the bathroom.
“Uh, do you need any—“
“Leave Jungkook, I don’t need any help,” you say frustrated at the sight you just witnessed. You don’t know why you felt angry at him. You knew that he slept around like most fraternity boys—but to see him after getting sucked off in a bathroom—was new territory. Not only did it bring up the memory of you and him back in Taehyung’s bathroom all those years ago, it made you physically sick to know that you were just a pawn for him then. Who are you trying to kid? You were nothing to him. Once he figured out what his dick was used for, that’s all he cared about. Christ, you say to yourself, fuck him.
Jungkook leaves the two of you alone and within seconds, Jennie is over the toilet hurling her entire stomach up. You hold her hair back as she heaves into the toilet, trying not to gag yourself.
“Y/N,” she mumbles, “I don’t feel good.”
“I know, just keep it in the toilet please,” you say looking away at the sight.
Thankfully, Namjoon appears at the door. “The Uber is here,” he announces.
“Come on, we’re going to get you home,” you tell her, wiping her mouth with some toilet paper.
“Home?” She asks, “Thank god.”
Namjoon grabs her other side as the two of you carry her outside into the fresh air. You have to admit, the fresh air as sobered you up slightly. You spot the car waiting up front and Namjoon opens the door for Jennie.
“Thank you so much,” you tell Namjoon as he helps Jennie into the car.
“It’s seriously not a problem,” he smiles, “You should go with her,” he suggests and you feel your heart drop.
“A-are you sure?” You ask, subtle disappointment in your tone.
“Yeah, it’s fine—we’ll pick up another time,” he gives you a wink and you smile back.
“Okay, thanks again.”
You load into the back of the Uber with Jennie and you just pray that she doesn’t hurl in the car, for the sake of you and the Uber driver’s car. You were not about to pay the $200 fee for puke in the backseat.
_____
The next morning comes all too quickly in your deep sleep. When you wake up, you are not expecting Jennie to be in your bed with you. You had nearly forgotten she refused to sleep in her own bed last night, therefore you having to give in to her wishes of sleeping with you. Thankfully, you don’t feel like you have too bad of a hangover. For Jennie though, you know she will probably be in bed all day with a bottle of Tylenol at her bedside.
You check your phone and your eyes nearly burst from your head. It’s 1:07 PM.
“Fuck,” you groan to yourself. You did not need to sleep this late considering you absolutely needed to study for your exams on Monday. Not only was it an exam—it was your midterm exams in your human sciences and financial analytics classes, two classes that were kicking your ass. The longer you laid in your bed, meant the longer you were losing time to cram in your studying. You swig the sheets and blankets off of you to find yourself still in your party dress from last night. You grab a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt from your wardrobe before heading to the bathroom.
Your appearance makes you shudder when you seeing yourself in the mirror. You didn’t even take off your makeup, mascara and lipstick stains spread out on your face. Now it was time to really pray that you wouldn’t breakout from the old layer of foundation on your face. You grab a makeup wipe to get the gunk off of yourself before you step into an insanely hot shower.
You manage to shower quickly, scrubbing your body and face off of any stench left of you from last night. You step out, moisturizing each crevice that you can reach before you throw on your clothes. You feel 200% better now that you have showered and you can hear footsteps coming down from the hallway. Jennie appears at the bathroom door rubbing her eyes harshly.
“Good morning sleepyhead,” you comment and she stretches out her limbs, her dress hiked up far up her legs where her underwear is showing.
“Ugh!” She groans loudly, “My head is pounding. What the fuck happened last night?”
“There’s some medicine out in the kitchen,” you say as you follow her out into your living room and kitchen area. She goes immediately to the medicine cabinet and downs two pills with ease.
“Where are you going?” She asks as you began to gather up your school work into your book-bag.
“I have to study,” you tell her and she closes her eyes again, the sun being too harsh for the light.
“It’s Saturday Y/N,” she says obviously.
“I know,” you zip up your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, “But I have two midterms Monday—I can’t make below a B or I can get in trouble with the dean,” you explain and she nods, her sleepy gaze staring at you.
“Well, have fun. I’ll be here—dying,” she grins and you salute her off, leaving your shared apartment to go to the campus library.
The library is only about a ten minute walk and thankfully, not many students are flocking to the location on a Saturday afternoon. You assume that everyone is either hungover like Jennie or just don’t give a shit enough to come out and study.
You grab a coffee from the small coffee shop outside the library before you go in, sit down, and get to work on your studying. You turn on your classical music radio as you take out out your printed slides, notes, and textbooks. As strange as it is to say, as much as you hated studying—it’s where you felt the most comfortable. You knew you were smart and you knew school was your strongest trait—everyone knew that about you.
You go through each chapter of your human sciences class, writing and rewriting notes on new sheets of a paper. You make flashcards as you go along. You answer the obnoxiously long quiz questions at the end of your textbook as you go along.
Thankfully, you haven’t had any distractions and before you know it, it’s been nearly two hours since you first sat down. Your coffee is now cold but you don’t care as you need the caffeine to keep you going. You are about to pull out all of your analytics material before suddenly, a coffee cup in placed on the table in front of you. You look at the source and look back down until you look up again.
“Jungkook?” You ask pulling out one of your earbuds. His face is tired, the bags underneath his eyes prominent. He’s wearing a gray tracksuit, his hair messy underneath his somewhat contained beanie.
“H-hi,” he says simply, “Can I sit?” He asks referring to the chair across from you. You nod as he slings his backpack off and into the floor as he plops down in the chair.
“Hi,” you speak lowly. There’s tension between the two of you. It’s uncomfortable. You hate it, almost as much as you hate the sight you saw last night. “What’s up?” The question is simple, but forced.
He shrugs, “I dragged myself out to study despite my busting headache,” he says scratching the back of his neck.
“Jungkook in the library? To study? Did I hear that right?” You ask and he laughs slightly.
“Yup, unfortunately you did,” he answers before letting out a sigh. “I uh, got you this,” he slides the coffee cup over to you and you furrow your brows. You face heats up. Why would he buy you a coffee? The time Jungkook bought you something was a card and flowers the evening of your high school graduation, why the hell would he buy you a coffee?
“Thanks,” you laugh awkwardly grabbing the cup from him. You take a sip from the cup and realize it’s exactly how you like it. Three creams, an espresso shot, and a dash of vanilla flavoring. “How’d you know this is what I like?” You ask.
“Uh, you told me a few years back,” he says shy, his gaze ripping away from you. “I assumed it was the same, thank god,” he laughs trying to lighten up the mood.
“Thanks,” you repeat, unsure of what to say.
“Uh, how’s Jennie this morning?” He asks you with a genuine concern. You look from him, not being able to hold his gaze without burning up.
“She’s fine,” you say, keeping your eyes on your notes and hands in front of you.
“That’s good,” he says awkwardly. His leg is bouncing uncontrollably underneath the table and he feels like he needs to throw up.
“Why did you buy me this?” You ask him. He wants something, you can feel it.
“Um, no reason, I-I just saw you h-here and I know how much you love coffee,” he stumbles over his words and you meet his gaze again, before giving him a glare.
“Hm,” you mumble.
“Listen Y/N,” he starts, sounding more clear of his words, “I know we don’t really have a relationship anymore but, I-I just wanted to apologize to you about… the bathroom… last night,” he sighs and he hangs his head down for a second.
Your expression is blank and you shrug your shoulders with a small head shake, “Don’t worry about it.”
He nods slowly before a silence falls between you two.
“Listen, um I really have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow. Thank you again for the coffee,” you say with a small smile, trying your best to be cordial with him.
He nods getting ready to stand up but he stops abruptly, “What are you doing this week?”
The question catches you off guard.
“Oh, um,” your mouth is dry and it’s hard to find the words, “Probably studying, working, I don’t know,” you shrug again.
“Well uh, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up?” He bits his lip nervously, “We haven’t hung out in awhile, I thought maybe we could catch up?”
Awhile would be an understatement. The boy and you exchange another glance before you begin to nod hesitantly.
“Sure,” you answer simply.
“Cool,” he responds, “You still have the same number?” He asks. The question is weird. How is it that your best friend of so many years has to ask if your number is the same?
“Yeah,” you nod. He nods too, saying a quick goodbye before you watch as his built frame disappears into another corridor of the library, your eyes lingering a little too long on his built frame. What the hell was that?
_____
On Monday, both of your exams go a lot better than you were expecting them to. Your human sciences exam had already been graded and you made a 94 which in turn meant you were over the moon. Now you could only hope for that in analytics.
You know sat across from Jennie at one of your campus’s sandwich shops eating a late lunch.
“I don’t even know why you stress so much about your grades Y/N,” Jennie says, “You always end up with an A.”
“Jennie, I worry because if I don’t get A’s I can get kicked out of the honors program, you know this,” you say with pointed eyes, “Besides, I made a B in that business statistics class I had my freshman year, I’m still pissed about that!”
“Boohoo, I got a C minus in that class,” Jennie rolls her eyes, “All I’m saying is, you just need to loosen up. I know school is stressful but I know that you have to be going crazy.”
“I am going crazy Jennie,” you whine, “I’m just glad we don’t have much longer,” you sigh heavily.
“You and me both,” she adds, “I’m sorry I interrupted your stress relief the other night,” she says.
“What?”
She laughs, “You almost got dicked down by Namjoon and I ruined it,” she pouts and you giggle at her.
“It’s fine,” you shake your head, “He said we could pick it up another time.”
“Good, his fine piece of ass is something you gotta keep,” she smirks. Suddenly, your phone makes a ding on the table and you grab it quickly. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the text message.
[3:32 PM Jeon Jungkook] hey do you still want to do something this week?
“Who is that?” Jennie asks you.
“Uh, nobody,” you shake your head putting the phone back down.
“It most definitely is not nobody—your eyes are huge,” she points out. Dammit.
“Um,” you start, “Well last week at work, Jungkook, Taehyung, and their friend Hobi came in later at night,” you tell her, “And it was awkward and then I saw Jungkook at the party on Saturday.”
“We see him all the time at the parties we go,” she shrugs.
“I know, but then he came up to me in the library the other day…and bought me a coffee,” you finish.
Jennie’s eyes widen. “What?”
“I know right,” you say.
“Wonder what he wants from you?” She purses her lips.
“He asked if he wanted to go out this week,” you shrug, “He said we haven’t in awhile and he wanted to ‘catch up’,” you say.
Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Hm,” she mumbles, “Well are you going to?”
“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly, “I think I’ve seen enough of him to last me awhile.”
Jennie grimaces at you, “Come on Y/N,” she says, “You and Jungkook used to be inseparable, I don’t even know what the fuck happened to you two.”
“We just grew apart Jennie,” you tell her.
“Friendships like you and Jungkook don’t just ‘grow apart’,” she uses air quotes.
“Believe what you want,” you mutter, picking at your food suddenly not feeling too hungry.
“Why wouldn’t you go? There’s nothing stopping you is there?” She presses.
“Not exactly, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea,” you mumble.
“Y/N, he’s your oldest friend,” she says, “You’ve known him longer than anyone else here, I know that you miss him as your friend,” she goes on.
“I don’t know Jennie, we’re not the same people we used to be. We’re not compatible as friends anymore, it’s weird.”
“How can it already be weirder than it is now? It’s weird as fuck that you two grew up together and don’t speak to each other anymore. I’d say go, just hangout, who knows what might happen,” she reasons and you cannot help but agree with her.
You don’t say anything else as you pull your phone back out.
[3:38 PM Me] Yeah I’m free tonight if you want to do something!
_____
Jungkook picks you up at seven on the dot. You feel nervousness settling in your stomach and you suddenly care about your appearance. When you open the door of your apartment and welcome him in, you have to tell yourself to keep your mouth closed.
He’s dressed in a sweatshirt and ripped jeans but he looks…so good? You hope you aren’t overdressed in your dress and denim jacket and he smiles when he meets your gaze.
“Hey,” he greets you and you welcome him into your apartment—a place he has never been.
“Hi,” you say grabbing your keys from the kitchen. “Jennie!” You shout and she emerges from the laundry room
“Yeah?” She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Jungkook. “Oh, hey Jungkook.”
“Hi,” he smiles.
“I’ll be back later,” you tell her, “What are you doing tonight?”
“I have to write a report and I guess I’m going to do your laundry since you’re lazier than shit,” she presses. You throw up your middle finger and turn to Jungkook.
“You ready?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
_____
“Where are we going?” You ask him as you make your way outside, keeping a relative distance between you and him.
“You hungry?” Jungkook proposes, almost with a playful tone.
“Mhm,” you mumble, looking down at the ground as you walk. This was weird… so fucking weird. The last time you and Jungkook had hung out was around two and a half years ago—not even shitting. You wonder if he still liked the same things, had the same hobbies, ate the same food, but you were completely unsure of yourself in this circumstance. The nervousness hasn’t settled in your stomach and your mind wonders if he’s nervous too.
“Alright, c’mon,” he says and you meet his gaze before he changes direction with you in tow.
It’s not even a five minute walk—mind you, in silence—until we reach the place Jungkook had led you to.
“Really Jungkook?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you step into your all too familiar work place.
“What?” He laughs, “The food is good,” he continues.
“I’m starting to think you brought me here for my employee discount,” you press to him and he tilts his head.
“You have an employee discount?” He repeats, “Good to know,” he chuckles and in turn, you return a small laugh, feeling a little more comfortable.
Mark isn’t working tonight, but unfortunately, a girl named Kyla is and you absolutely despise her. Her biggest personality trait is just being a bitch—a bitch for no reason! Sure, you can have your bitchy moments but you’re not going to be a bitch to someone unless they deserve it.
“Y/N… Jungkook,” Kyla says slowly, looking between the two of you. “Just sit wherever you like,” she says. The restaurant is free real estate as you two are the only ones here.
You choose a booth, sliding in on one side, Jungkook on the other.
“Do you know her?” You ask Jungkook once she walks away from your table.
Jungkook looks pale, “I’ve met her, once or twice,” he says and it’s all the confirmation you need to understand that means he’s fucked her once or twice.
You don’t say anything else as you look through the menu, already knowing exactly what you want.
“When did you start working here?” Jungkook asks you.
“Oh, about a month ago,” you say. He already knows that. I guess you and Jungkook are really too that point, huh? Small, dull, repetitive conversation?
“How did your exams go?” He asks, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s nervous—you can sense it.
“Better than I thought,” you answer honestly.
“Hm, let me guess—you thought you did terrible but ended up getting an A,” he reads you perfectly.
“Hey! I don’t think like that,” you say even thought you know that is a fat lie.
“Come on Y/N, you’ve been that way since we were fourteen. Lying sends you to hell you know,” he raises an eyebrow at you and you look away from him to suppress your laugh.
“Fine. I got a 94 on one of them, I don’t know about the other one yet,” you tell him.
“See, you’re a genius,” he says and you shake your head.
“Most definitely not,” you say.
“I was always so envious of you growing up, you just sat there in school and you just… got it,” he says remembering back to your younger days, “All of us were jealous of you,” he adds.
“I can guarantee nobody was jealous of me Jungkook,” you give him a grimace, “We all were stupid in our own ways, maybe you more than anyone else,” you decide to pick on him since you’re feeling more relaxed as the conversation keeps going.
“Hey, no need to shit on me like that,” he gives you a pout.
Your phone suddenly vibrates against the table. It’s probably Jennie, you think to yourself as you flip the phone over. To your surprise, it’s not Jennie—It’s Namjoon.
[7:28 PM Kim Namjoon] hope you had a good day
[7:29 PM Kim Namjoon] mine would be a lot better if you were sitting on my cock right now
Your eyes widen and you flip the phone back over with a slam to the table. Jungkook looks at you curiously.
“Whose that?” He asks.
You want to lie, but Jungkook can tell when you’re lying. “Just Namjoon,” you tell him, “He was asking about some homework.”
Jungkook nods slowly before chewing on his bottom lip again, “You and hyung are good friends?”
Your face drops and you don’t say anything.
“I’m just asking since I’ve seen you guys together at our parties,” he adds while clearing his throat.
“Yeah, we’re friends,” is all that comes from your mouth. Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read but you can tell he knows you’re not saying what you’re actually thinking. What he wants you to do is be honest with him and tell him that yeah, you and Namjoon fuck from time to time, but of course, he doesn’t get that answer.
About twenty minutes later, Kyla is bringing your food.Your stomach growls as the scent of the food comes into your nostrils. The two of you begin eating, keeping some small talk between the two of you.
“Are you still a business major?” You ask him as you chow down on your French fries loaded with ketchup.
Jungkook scrunches his face up, “Hell no,” he shakes his head.
You stop your chewing momentarily, “Oh,” is all you can muster. “I’m sure that went over well with your father.”
Jungkook gives you a short glance, a smirk across his face, “It went as well as you can imagine.”
Growing up, Jungkook was expected to go to college, get a business degree of some kind and him and his older brother were to takeover his father’s company by the time he was 30—you would know, Jungkook would secretly complain to you about nonstop as teenagers.
“What are majoring in now?”
“Photography and film,” he answers boldly.
“Oh, wow,” you tell him, “That’s a big move.”
“I’d rather die than being forced to do something I don’t want to do, that’s no way to live life,” he munches on his burger, his eyes looking straight into yours.
“How’s Taehyung?” You ask him.
“He’s good,” he laughs a little bit, “Would you believe it if I told you he has a girlfriend?” He cocks his head slightly.
“Taehyung? And a girlfriend?” You say in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope,” he chuckles, “It’s weird though, he won’t introduce me to her, hell he won’t even tell me her name.”
You furrow your eyebrows, “That is weird,” you pause, “Maybe he thinks you’ll steal her,” you smirk jokingly.
Jungkook shakes his head, “Taehyung’s got more game than I do, trust me,” he says with a laugh.
“I’m assuming you don’t have a girlfriend?” You ask him nervously, biting down on your bottom lip.
Jungkook stops eating and rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek, “No, I haven’t dated anyone since Yuna really.”
The confession surprises you and you somewhat don’t believe him.
“Why not?” You press.
He shrugs, “Just haven’t found anyone I like I guess, like, really like, you know?”
You nod understandingly. Before Namjoon (whom you aren’t even dating) you had dated this guy for awhile and he was nice but you were bored as fuck in that relationship. Thankfully, you moved on from that onto better things.
Once the two of you finish your meals, Jungkook pays before you can protest and you leave the restaurant around 8:30 PM. You shove your hands into your jacket and walk along beside of Jungkook, lazily kicking rocks when you come across them.
“So, what did I do to deserve a free meal and a coffee from Jeon Jungkook in the span of two days?” You look up at him and he glances down to you quickly.
“I said I wanted to catch up, how else was I supposed to do that?” He smirks and you hit his arm playfully.
You don’t say anything so he continues.
“I don’t know, it’s just when I saw you last week working, I hadn’t seen you in so long… let alone speak to you,” he pauses, “It made me realize that I miss our friendship, I missed us…” he trails off, looking straight ahead.
“Why didn’t you reach out sooner?” You ask him seriously.
Jungkook hesitates some, “You could have reached out too, the phone works both ways” his words are unexpected, harsh. And they somewhat hurt.
You don’t say anything again, feeling a sting in your chest.
“I didn’t mean it like that Y/N,” Jungkook say, stopping his path to stand in front of you, “It’s just… we haven’t spoken in so long. I feel like you’re a completely different person ever since we got here to university. I don’t know what happened—“
“You don’t know what happened?” Your tone is sharp. “Are you stupid Jungkook?”
He looks taken aback, “W-what?”
“When we were eighteen and you fucking kissed me that’s what happened and that’s when shit changed Jungkook, don’t act like you don’t know,” you sound angry to which, you are. Talking about this gets you riled up.
Jungkook lowers his head, “We should have talked about that, I know but—“
“But what Jungkook? It ruined our friendship and you know it.”
“I ruined it?” He now sounds pissed off. “What ruined our friendship was you acting like I didn’t exist once we got here to college. You blew me off and blew me off time and time again,” he runs a hand through his hair, “I tried to maintain this friendship and you know it. If that stupid, fucking, drunken kiss bothered you that bad, you should have been a big girl and told me.”
You feel frustrated and you feel tears are threatening to spill out of you. You want to comeback with something, but you know he’s right. He did try and you were the one to put distance between you both.
“I-I,” you start but no words come out. “I’m sorry Jungkook. It’s just when we got here, things got more complicated and more stressful, and I couldn’t afford distractions—“
“So I’m a distraction now?”
“What? No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” you shake your head in protest.
“So, hanging out at fraternity houses every weekend, getting hammered with Jennie every weekend, smoking pot once in awhile, and fucking Namjoon isn’t a distraction? But your best friend of fourteen years is a distraction?” Jungkook’s words come out in a frenzy and you feel slightly attacked.
“Excuse me what? Jungkook no—“ you stop yourself from speaking. You know he’s right but that doesn’t give him a right to attack you like that. “So, what’s your excuse then for not being the bigger person than, huh? Getting sucked off too many times in a bathroom and you realized you don’t need my attention anymore? Huh?”
Jungkook’s eyes darken and you can tell he’s pissed off.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks you.
“Jungkook, you’re my oldest friend—“
“You don’t treat me like it—“
“Well neither do you,” you back go back and forth with each other. You’re frustrated. Angry. Sad.
Jungkook is fighting a battle in his head. “I’m sorry okay,” he says, “I think we both can admit we’ve acted shitty to each other.”
You look away from him staring aimlessly at your lap, “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Neither should have I,” he says. “I just wish you had told me about that stupid kiss, we could have talked through it Y/N. I wasn’t thinking back then.”
“Why did you kiss me?”
Jungkook’s eyes look panicked and he scratches the back of his neck.
“I had a stupid little crush on you at the time okay? And alcohol doesn’t help, it only intensified my feelings.”
“What?” Your mouth drops agape at the confession.
“I know, stupid right,” he shakes his head, “Fuck I wished we had discussed this sooner because this is so embarrassing,” he laughs while shaking his head.
You’re in disbelief. Jungkook liked you? How did you not know? It makes your insides tingle at the thought, but you know you shouldn’t get excited so you drown out the feeling deep within you.
“Well, that was years ago,” you tell him, “All we can do now is look ahead,” your breath is uneven and shaky.
“You’re right,” he mutters, “I really am sorry Y/N, I-I just want you as a friend again—“
“I forgive you Jungkook. And I’m sorry too.”
What Jungkook does next is unexpected but all too familiar. He grabs your chin and squeezes it in his hand. You swat him away with a laugh as he pulls you in by an arm. You oblige his movements and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you keep walking. There’s something oddly intimate about this gesture. And the whole atmosphere has changed but you like it—it feels… like home.
“Can I ask you something?” You mumble.
“You just did,” he laughs and his chest rumbles underneath you.
“Shut the fuck up,” you lean up from him with a smile, “Namjoon said you talk about me a lot…?” You trail off your question. You could be sneaky if you really wanted to be.
“He did?” Jungkook panics. Fucking Namjoon, he thinks to himself. “W-what did he say?” He stumbles on his words.
“Just stuff,” you respond hesitantly, “He may or may not have said that you called me hot.” Jungkook freezes beside of you.
“Fucking hell, I’m gonna kill hyung,” he mutters underneath his breath, “Look I’m sorry okay—I was really drunk and I saw you at one of our parties in this short ass dress and fuck, yeah I said you were hot—I’m sorry okay? I know that’s so fucking weird jeez, I’m sorry—“
“Jungkook it’s fine,” you laugh interrupting his rambling. “It’s not weird, I just wanted to know whether or not Namjoon was feeding me shit.”
“You don’t think it’s weird?” He asks and you can sense that he is very embarrassed. “I told you, I’m not good with my alcohol.”
You shake your head, “I mean, you’re pretty hot too if I say so myself,” the words tumble from your mouth and you actually want to crawl in a hole and die. Did you just say that?! Jungkook looks at you as you turn your face away from him. Fuck, he thinks to himself. He glances down your body and notices the cleavage coming through your dress and the way you hair is pulled to one side. Fuck, he thinks again, yeah, stupid little crush three years ago my ass.
“Can I tell you something?” His voice his quiet, serious.
“Of course,” you look up at him with a concern face.
“You can’t tell anyone—not even Jennie,” he says, his voice low. You give him a confused look, but nod anyways.
“What’s wrong?” You ask him. He bits at his lip, feeling uneasy.
He takes in a deep breath before exhaling, “When I changed my major a few months back, my parents threatened to cut me off—“
“Whoa, what?”
“And they’re still threatening to if I don’t get my shit straight.”
“Jungkook, I don’t get what you’re saying? Have you done something?” You ask him, feeling already too uneasy about where this conversation is going.
“No, I haven’t done anything—that’s the problem. I haven’t proved to them that I’m worthy for them to keep paying for my school. I haven’t proved to them that I can get a job somewhere. My grades aren’t proving anything to them.”
“What are you gonna do if they cut you off? You can’t pay for this shit-hole by yourself—they know that.” You notice the way his jaw is grinding and his breathing is shaking.
“Please don’t get mad at me,” he mumbles quietly. Oh god. “Recently I started taking up, um… boxing,” he says, unsure of his words.
“…Okay?” You say slowly.
“I’ve been fighting, like underground fighting,” you almost don’t hear him, but then you do, and you want to laugh in his face—but he’s being serious.
“Fighting? Jungkook what the fuck?!” You push yourself away from the comfort of his side, “Are you crazy?!”
“I’m getting paid for the fights—if I win at least,” he tries to sound reasonable but to you, you want to scream at him in anger.
“Jungkook, are you fucking kidding me? You’re fighting? Instead of finding a real job?”
“Y/N you don’t understand—I make thousands of dollars for one fight—it’s my best chance right now.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake your head, pulling your hands through your hair in frustration, you cannot believe this man right now.
“What are you going to do about school then? Huh?” You press him.
“I-I was hoping you would help me, at least try to tutor me,” he says hesitantly and your stomach drops. You don’t say anything for a moment, unsure if you want to scream or cry at him.
“So this is the reason why you wanted to rekindle our friendship, so I could be your fucking tutor?”
“What no—“
“Are you fucking kidding me Jungkook? I cannot believe you right now,” your voice is getting louder by the minute. You start to walk away from him back to your apartment by yourself, unable to even look at him right now.
“Wait—no, please Y/N,” Jungkook runs to you, grabbing your hand and pulls you back to him, “I know this is all bad timing but I really did miss having you as a friend and you’re the only person, I could tell this to, at least for now,” he quickly explains.
“What, so you want me to help you through school while you get the shit knocked out of you for money?” You ask him, “Jungkook I don’t want to see you go through that, you have to find another option,” your eyes are pleading with him. His grip moves from your hand to your waist which causes your heart to race irregularly.
“Y/N, please I know it’s not the best but it really is my best option. I need someone there for me and I need that person to be you,” his face is too close for comfort and you back away from him a few inches.
“Jungkook, I don’t know,” you shake your head.
“Please, Y/N, I’m begging you,” he says again.
“Have you told anyone?” You ask him.
“Aside from you, only Taehyung knows—and Yoongi, he was the one to introduce me to it.” Yoongi—a name you’re not familiar with.
“Fucking hell Jungkook,” you lean your head back, trying to contain your emotions.
“Please you can’t tell anyone Y/N, I can get in serious trouble by obtaining money this way.”
“Yeah because it’s fucking illegal,” you spit at him. You find his hand to grip a little too tightly and you want to scream at Jungkook. How could he be so stupid? And how were you going to let him be so stupid?
“I’ll help you with school Jungkook, but the fighting… I don’t know,” you tell him, “You know I’m not going to be okay with that.”
“If you makes you feel any better, I haven’t lost. The most I’ve walked away with is a few scraps and bruises on my arms,” he tries to lighten up your mood but it doesn’t work. “I promise I won’t get hurt, I know what I’m doing,” he nudges you trying to loosen you up some. He hands end up grabbing yours, intertwining them tightly.
“Don’t make me promises you can’t keep Jungkook,” you tell him and his face falls again. Both of you look at your intertwined hands. “At least promise me you’ll be careful,” you plead him.
“Of course. I promise,” he says giving your hand a squeeze. Without warning, he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around your waist tightly. Your hands snake up against his neck and pull him close to you as well.
His scent is all too familiar and it scares you that you’ve missed out on him growing into the handsome adult he is now. And now, you have to fear for his wellbeing. Fuck. Jungkook pulls away from you and your faces meet a little too close for comfort. His nose brushes against yours, his eyes burning holes into you.
“I’d trust you with my life Y/N,” he speaks again, “And I’m trusting you with this.”
Your breath hitches as his nose brushes yours again. Fuck, you think to yourself. You bite your lip, knowing that you wold absolutely die for this boy and it takes all of you to grip his shirt and push him away from you. You feel less suffocated once your space is empty and Jungkook’s hand stays in yours as he walks you home. It’s a good thing, you think, that you’ve had a stupid little crush on him too or you would most definitely not do this shit for him.
_____
“So,” Jennie says slowly, “How was it?”
You hadn’t even walked into your apartment five feet before Jennie is rushing questions onto you.
“Um,” you pause, taking the time to take off your shoes, “It went... well,” you say, unsure of your words. Did it go well? You weren’t sure considering the two of you were in an argument nearly the whole way home.
“Well?” Jennie asks, curiosity dripping in her tone, “I need more details than that. What’d you do? What did you guys talk about?”
“Um, we just kind of caught up on things,” you knew you had to tread your words lightly. “It felt pretty normal.” You add at the last second, giving her a weak smile. She narrows her eyes at you.
“That’s it?” She somewhat frowned.
“What did you want me to say?” You give her a laugh as you begin to walk back towards your room and undress into your sleepwear. She follows your footsteps closely.
“I don’t know! I was just expecting more, more from you! You seem awfully quiet,” she says plopping down on your bed that she is oh-so accustomed to.
You look through your drawers and pull out a big t-shirt and slip it over your head. You turn to Jennie and give her another pathetic attempt of a smile.
“It’s just weird okay,” you tell her, climbing onto your bed with her, “This was the first time we’ve actually hung out by ourselves in years and I don’t know, it was good, like we picked up where we left off you know?” You knew that was a complete lie but you needed to get Jennie off your case or you were afraid you would let your worries slip.
She lets out a sigh, “I guess so. I do think about high school sometimes and we really had it good… the four of us,” she smiles fondly thinking back to simpler times.
“Yeah… we did,” you agree staring up at your ceiling.
“How’s Taehyung by the way? Did Jungkook mention him?”
You give a glance at Jennie and she’s looking at her overgrown nails. “He’s good, Jungkook said he had a girlfriend which surprised me.”
“Hm,” Jennie shrugged, “Interesting.”
You furrowed your eyebrows while looking at her. “Interesting?” You found her answer odd but she brushes it off.
“Yeah, well I have homework to do that isn’t gonna do itself unfortunately,” she stands up from your bed, “See you in the morning, goodnight.” She throws you a quick wink before she leaves, shutting your bedroom door behind of her.
You let out a sigh of relief when she leaves. As happy as you were that you and Jungkook reconnected some tonight, the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach was keeping you from focusing on the good. You couldn’t believe what Jungkook had gotten himself into. Boxing? For money? You knew Jungkook never had much common sense but this takes it to another level. You now knew one of his deepest secrets and not only could that seriously backfire on you if something went wrong. He said he trusted you with his fucking life for Christ’s sake. Who says that to someone they’ve barely spoken to in two years? Someone who is desperate, you think.
You grab a book from your nightstand for one of your classes and flip to your last read page, trying to rid your mind of Jungkook getting the shit beat out of him. And as much as you read your book and your eyelids fall sleepy, you manage to barely sleep that night, as images of your old friend are burned into your brain.
_____
It wasn’t long after your first meetup with Jungkook that he started asking for tutoring help. Jungkook knew your schedule was busy and he didn’t want to pressure you into anything, but the more you were around Jungkook, the more desperate you were to help him. You have known him for so long and despite all your differences, he truly was and will always be one of your best friends. And best friends helped each other. Right?
“Hey—sorry I’m late,” you meet Jungkook in the back of the fourth floor of the library after your last class of the day. “I had a question about my lecture—“
“Y/N it’s fine,” Jungkook says softly, not looking up from his paper, “Don’t worry about it.”
You set down beside of him and begin to take your belongings out of your backpack and you notice Jungkook has already begun some work himself.
“How was classes today?” You ask him opening up your laptop. You give him a glance and he’s focused on the problem in front of him.
“It was alright, I slept through my first one at ten—“
“What’s that?” You ask as you let your eyes focus a little too close on his face. A cut lined across his jaw and up towards his left ear and you felt yourself begin to panic. “Jungkook what—“
“Don’t worry about it,” he’s being cold and distant and you don’t like it. You look down his arms and onto his hands and notice some cuts and bruises there too. That’s when it hits you.
“Jungkook did you have a fight recently?” You keep your voice low so no one else could hear. He visibly tenses up beside of you and he adjusts his beanie on his to try and cover his ear area.
“Yeah,” he says simply, his eyes not looking at you one time, still focusing on the paper ahead.
“Jungkook,” your tone is deep and not happy, but you suppose there isn’t much you can do in this situation. Curiosity got the best of you and you ask, “What happened?”
“Let’s not talk about that okay?” He turns to you fully and you inwardly gasp, seeing that his right eye is half blacked behind his glasses. You feel sick to your stomach and your mouth parts. Again, you don’t say anything and just give him a nod.
The rest of the tutoring session with him goes smoothly and Jungkook has significantly picked up his understanding of his classes in a short amount of time, but in the back of your mind you wanted to scream. Scream at him. How could he be doing this to himself? He first told you he was fine. He sure doesn’t look fine. It’s getting close to 7 o’clock when you tell him you have to go get ready for your shift at the diner in an hour.
“We can pick up again whenever you need to,” you tell, “And text me if you have any questions.”
“What are you doing this weekend?” Jungkook completely ignores your sentences and you turn to him, trying not to stare at the faint of blue under his eye.
“Um, I have another shift tomorrow that starts at 7,” you tell him.
“Can you get off?” He asks almost nervously as the two of you begin to leave the library.
You chuckle, “Probably not, why?”
“Well, Taehyung and I are having a small get together at our apartment and I wanted to know if you and Jennie wanted to come?”
He sounds genuine and you know it could be fun and a little different from the chaotic frat scene that you’re used to.
“Sure, I’m sure Jennie will be down,” you give him a smile to which he returns one for the first time tonight. “If I can’t get off work I’ll just come after my shift.”
“Sounds good,” he says and you are about to part ways before he grabs your arm to stop you, “Thanks again Y/N, for helping me out,” there’s a glimmer in his eyes.
“No problem, it’s what a friend would do right?” You give him your best smile although it feels weird saying that. His face drops in the slightest way.
“Yeah…” he trails off, his hand trailing down your arm before letting go, “See you soon?”
You give him a nod, “See you soon.”
_____
Your shift at the diner tonight was being particularly slow for a Tuesday and you found yourself aimlessly making lattes for yourself every thirty minutes. You were slightly jacked from the caffeine but you knew you would need it once you went home to finish off the load of your homework for the night. Bedtime as of right now was looking to be 3 AM, possibly 4. Mark is once again working with you tonight which makes it all the more bearable, but the more you stand behind the counter, sipping your coffee, the more you realize you do not want to waste tomorrow night working.
“Hey, Mark,” you say and he looks up from his book.
“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes focussing on you.
“Would you care…. to possibly… take my shifts this weekend?” You ask slowly, dancing around the topic. His eyebrows furrow and you could tell that is not what he wanted to hear from you.
“I mean… I don’t care to, but can I ask why?”
Shit. You couldn’t say it was to go to a small party. That would be an automatic no.
“Well, I’ve been tutoring someone recently and it's taken away from my own study time, so I really need all weekend to catch up on all my shit,” you say smoothly. Not a complete lie, but he didn’t need to know you would be catching up on your “shit” tonight and not this weekend.
“Yeah, sure whatever,” he waves his hand off, “Just be sure to tell our manager before you leave.”
“Right… thanks Mark.”
“That means you owe me a shift in the future,” he says pointedly.
“Yeah, yeah, read your fucking book.”
_____
Friday was a blur. You went to sleep around 3:45 AM. Had to wake up at 7 AM for your 8 AM lecture, dragged your feet to your other classes, barely had time to eat anything, only consuming coffee to suppress your appetite in the afternoon, and now that you were home you couldn’t wait to lay in your bed for a few hours.
Jennie didn’t have classes on Friday’s—fuck her—so she had been chilling all day when you burst through the door exhausted.
“You look horrible,” she said as soon as you flopped down on the couch beside of her.
“You don’t have to tell me that,” you groan covering your eyes.
“Well you better get rested up before tonight,” she says.
“What’s tonight?” You mumble, nearly drifting off to sleep right then and there.
“Jungkook invited us to his apartment, that’s what you said last night,” she gave you a funny look before shaking her head.
Shit. You had forgotten about that throughout your drowsy state all day.
“Yeah, right,” you pause, looking at her through the crack of your arm, “Wake me up at 7 to get ready.” You stand up planning on taking the fattest nap of your life.
“I-I captain!” Jennie says sarcastically and it’s the last thing you hear before passing out on your bed, not even bothering to put a blanket over you.
_____
Jungkook and Taehyung’s apartment isn’t far from yours. You wouldn’t say the exterior is nicer than yours, but the abundance of buildings shows that their community is much larger than the one you and Jennie share.
“This is right?” Jennie asks as you knock on the door heavily.
“Yeah,” you say, faintly hearing music from the other side of the door.
The door swings open and to your surprise, it’s Taehyung.
“Jennie, Y/N!” He smiles widely at the two of you before ushering you in. “It’s been wayyyy too long! You guys want a drink?”
You take a second to look around their apartment, not seeing Jungkook anywhere. There’s about two dozen people here, some playing pong, others sitting around the living area. You knew Taehyung was feeling a little drunk despite it being only 9 from the way he grabs a couple cups, the entire tower of them falling over.
“How have you guys been?!” Taehyung pours some cheap tequila into your red solo cups and hands them over.
“Good, what about you?” Jennie smiles to him and Taehyung pours another shot for himself.
“Fucking great,” he says before putting his cup out. The three of you bump cups and down the tequila, a familiar burn hitting you instantly. It’s oddly reminiscent, the three of you drinking alcohol like there are no problems with the world.
“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, giving another glance around the apartment, only recognizing some of his frat brothers, but him still not to be found.
“He went to get more alcohol and some other things,” Taehyung says, pouring another shot for the two of you. “I heard the two of you finally got over your bullshit?”
You furrow your eyebrows and Jennie laughs. “W-what?” You have to laugh too, “Bullshit?”
“You know, how the two of you acted like neither of you existed? God it was so annoying hearing that little bitch talk about you constantly,” he rolls his eyes dramatically and Jennie eyes you suspiciously.
“Uh, yeah—“ you were unsure of what to say, “Heard you have a girlfriend now?” You change the subject quickly and Jennie raises her eyebrows at Taehyung.
“Really?” Jennie says almost passively. Taehyung doesn’t glance at you, only looking to Jennie.
“Yeah,” he says, “C’mon, drink your shit. The night is young and you guys need to catch up!”
“Or you need to slow down?” You offer and only giggles again. You down another shot and at this pace, you’ll be passed out by 11, Jennie by 10. You’ve always handle your alcohol better than her, but a shot every two minutes will do anyone in.
The three of you talk aimlessly, somewhat of an unresolved tension between Jennie and Taehyung that is impossible to avoid until you get some more alcohol in you. You’re about four shots of Jose Cuervo in and sipping on some type of seltzer when your phone buzzes in your hand.
[9:46 PM Namjoon] hey, wrud tonight
[9:46 PM You] at a friend’s place tonight, wbu
Your eyes are having trouble to focus as the alcohol begins to settle in your system. You remember vividly how you barely had any food today and you know you should stop drinking otherwise you might puke everywhere.
[9:48 PM Namjoon] damn, missing you. I believe you still owe me a rain check
You laugh at your phone.
[9:48 PM You] soon, I promise lol
“Jungkook! Fuck yes my brother!”
You instantly look up from your phone and see Jungkook walking through the front door, a case of beer in one hand and a brown bag in the other. He smiles as he sets down the case and bag of liquor as his brothers crowd around him to grab a can.
Do you go up to him? Yes, are you, stupid? But shouldn’t he look for you? What are you twelve?
Your internal monologue is interrupted when Taehyung pulls you over to Jungkook with a small push.
“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook smiles, grabbing a beer for himself. He’s wearing a hat to cover his forehead.
“Hi,” you smile and he gives you a small, somewhat awkward hug.
“Glad you could make it,” he says, the bruises on his face from the other day already looking a lot better.
“I was not going to spend my Friday night at the restaurant,” you laugh, trying intensely to focus on his face and not zone in and out as you tend to do drunkenly.
“Jennie here?” He asks.
“Yeah, she’s uh,” you pause, actually not knowing where she went. “Oh, she’s playing pong with Taehyung.”
“Come on then,” he reaches out his hand, “Let’s play with them.”
“Jungkook I’m terrible, you know that—“
“I never said you were good, but for old times sake?” His brown eyes bore into yours and you give in, nodding your head and settling your hand into his. His hands are warm—always have been. Slightly rough and calloused but smooth—what the fuck, stop it!
The four of you, girls verses boys, start a new game of pong and you’re sure Jennie is just as bad as you. That’s evident when Jungkook and Taehyung lob four in, one after another. You’re lucky you get one in their cups. Jennie, too drunk at this point, can’t even throw straight. The whole sight is very funny as the four of you laugh like you’re the only ones in the room.
“Come on Y/N!” Taehyung yells, “I knew you were ass but really?!”
“Me! What about her!” You defend yourself as Jennie throws a ball at Jungkook’s head.
“At least Y/N can aim!” Jungkook laughs, defending you as well, rubbing his head from the plastic impact.
The game ends with Jungkook calling island and you don’t even care at this point. Pong was and never will be your favorite. Flip cup was your speciality and even Taehyung knew that. You find yourself sitting with Jungkook on their couch, legs tucked underneath you, watching at Taehyung and Jennie take on another round of pong with Jackson—a fraternity brother—and his long time girlfriend—Mina, maybe?
“Are you even drunk right now?” You deadpan Jungkook with your eyes and he gives you a small smile.
“Nah,” he says, “You are though,” he says pointedly drinking from his beer.
“Hey—“ you point, “Only a little,” you whisper close to his ear and he laughs at you again. “You sir, need to drink.”
Jungkook shakes his head before standing up, your eyes following up his jeans to his t-shirt clad chest. Has he always looked like this? You grab onto his extended hand and he leads you away from everyone and your heart rate quickens. Where are you going? What’s he doing?
To your relief, he takes to the small outside balcony, sliding the door nearly closed as you step out. There’s two other people out here smoking cigarettes that greet you and Jungkook curiously. You have seen these boys before, but you know they don’t recognize you. They obviously think you’re some random girl Jungkook has invited but—if they only knew.
The fresh air feels nice, but you can feel a chill running down your spine and you watch Jungkook’s frame go to a dark corner of the balcony, bending down to pick something off the ground.
“What are you doing?” You ask him and he turns back to you and you send some interesting paraphernalia in his hands.
“Not in a drinking mood tonight,” he says, his eyes leaving yours before focusing on the small glass bowl in his hands. He starts to pack it and you’re watching his every move closely. You never knew Jungkook to be a stoner, but the way he packs it quickly and begins to light it, tells you otherwise. He inhales through the end of the bowl deeply, exhaling once, before quickly taking another hit.
“Goddamn,” you laugh and he starts to cough a little bit, a small laugh coming from him.
Jungkook begins to walk back to the corner before you grab his shirt to pull him back.
“You heard of sharing is caring?” You say and he shakes his head.
“No, you’re drunk, you don’t need—“
“I want too,” you say. You hadn’t smoked in awhile, but you knew you could trust Jungkook. “Come on, I’m fine.”
Jungkook hesitates a little before he holds out the bowl. You take it and hold is securely between your lips. He lights the underside and you inhale deeply. The balcony begins to smell like weed, but it doesn’t bother you, it never has. You exhale and give him a small smile. He puts the illegal substances away and stands beside of you on the balcony.
“Alright, that will be five dollars,” he says and you turn to him, your mouth agape.
“Five dollars a hit? Kiss my ass,” you say and you suddenly begin to feel the effects of the marijuana, which makes you giggle a little too long.
“How was your day?” Jungkook asks you and you nearly feel like you could fall asleep.
“Exhausting,” you mumble, “I got like four hours of sleep last night and one of my professors had the audacity to tell me that my answer was wrong on my homework when literally five other people had the same answer and got it right. And then I had coffee as my meals and had a busting headache until I took the longest nap of my fucking life—“
“Slow down,” Jungkook interjects with a laugh, “Too much information that I’m not processing right now.”
You let out an “ugh” before saying, “I’ve had better days for sure.” You leave it at that. “What about you?”
He smiles before turning to you completely, “I’ve had better days, better weeks for sure.” He almost sounds annoyed now, like something is deeply bothering him.
You let a pause presume between the two of you, unsure of what to say. You know you shouldn’t bring it up, but you can’t help it. The bruises on his face, the cuts on his hands—you needed to know what happened to him. Despite your intoxicated state, you could form sentences and think pretty clearly and you weren’t letting Jungkook out of your sight without explaining himself.
“Jungkook,” you say in a whisper, looking around to see if the other guys had left. They had. “Are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”
He looks down, almost embarrassed. “There was a fight on Tuesday,” he stops when you furrow your eyebrows at him.
“Tuesday?!” You half whisper, “What the hell are you doing fighting on a Tuesday? Jungkook you said—“
“It wasn’t an official fight Y/N,” he interrupts you, “I was fucking jumped with one of my friends,” he says and your eyes widen. You feel your head spinning and your mouth goes dry. From the weed, alcohol, or the conversation? You’re not sure.
“What?” You ask, worry filling your tone, “Jungkook what the fuck! You said you had this under control.”
“Keep your voice down!” He scolds, “I do have it under control, although you can’t really control when you get jumped.”
“W-why? Who would want—“
“His name is Eric. I beat him at the last real fight and I guess he’s a sore fucking loser. He wants a rematch and everything, said he was injured before the fight, so he sent some pussies to jump my friend Jimin and I.”
The information being taken in wasn’t something you wanted to hear. Was this stupid underground boxing that serious? And how stupid could Jungkook be to continue to do this?
“Well you’re not gonna fight him again,” you pause. He doesn’t look at you. “Are you?”
“There’s a lot of money on the line,” he says.
“Jungkook you’ve got to be joking.”
“I’m not Y/N,” he turns to you again, his body now closer than before. His knuckles gripping the railing are pale and cracked. “If I win this fight, I won’t need anymore money before the end of the year. Hell, I’ll probably even have some left over.”
“Okay? And?”
“Then I can be done with fighting,” he sounds genuine but insincere at the same time. This greatly improves your posture and you feel your heartbeat calming down.
“B-but I figured you would need more money? Your parents Jungkook?” You stumble over some of your words.
“Y/N you don’t understand the money within these things, it’s insane. Trust me, I’ll be set with money for awhile. I just have to win that fight…”
You want to protest him. Tell him he shouldn’t do it, that he should find a normal job, get away from that stuff—but you stay silent. Jungkook always will be as stubborn as you and he seems to have made up his mind about this fighting stuff awhile ago. At the end of the day, whatever happens to him, isn’t necessarily your business.
“You know I’ll never agree with this,” you shake your head, looking down at Jungkook’s hands. They’ve relaxed against the railing and time has slowed down significantly. Every blink of your eyes seem to last 5 seconds and Jungkook could say the same thing.
“I know,” Jungkook steps towards you, overlapping one of his hands with yours, “But like I said, I trust you and you should trust me,” he almost sounds desperate. “Look at me,” he whispers and you slowly turn your head up. Your noses are nearly touching and you can smell him, your vision clouding in the dark.
“Do you trust me?” He asks quietly, licking his lips and you swallow, trying to find your breath.
You nod your head slowly, “Yes.”
You don’t know who leans in first, but when your lips meet, it’s like a siren goes off. The scene feels all too familiar. His lips are soft and they feel just like you remember. He’s gentle with you, his left hand holding your waist to pull you towards him, your bodies flush together. One of your hands finds their way to his hair and you pull him down closer to you. This feels good, really good—but isn’t this wrong? You two have just rekindled your relationship and you two didn’t even last four weeks before you two are snogging—the very reason your friendship became weird in the first place all those years ago.
You try to pull away, “Jungkook—“ he closes the gap once again and it’s like a drug—touch is like heroin in your veins. Both of you are hungry—hungry for each other. You’re not sure when, but you find yourself backed into the wall of the dark-side of the balcony. The door isn’t in view so anyone inside couldn’t see what was going on right now thank god.
“Y/N,” the groan sends your body into overdrive and he begins to trail his lips down your neck and you’ve pulled him so close to you there is barely room to breathe. It’s gotta be the alcohol—or the weed—or just Jungkook—but you’ve never wanted anyone more in your life. You squeeze your thighs together to find some unrelieved friction and Jungkook senses what you’re doing. He stops you, forcing is own leg between your crotch and you subtly moan.
“Fuck, shh,” Jungkook scolds and it makes you laugh as you check if anyone is coming to the door.
“Jungkook,” you whisper and he closes the gap between you again, covering your mouth gently and you genuinely feel butterflies in your stomach. Jungkook’s hand trails from your waist down to the front of you jeans and you pull away suddenly, “Jungkook w-what are you doing?!”
“Do you want me to do this?” He sounds mischievous as he pops open the button to your pants and you can safely say you never thought you would be in this situation with Jeon Jungkook of all people, but you are not about to stop him.
You kiss him this time, pulling on his hair, eliciting another delicious groan from him. His hand makes it way to your center and you shiver in the cold, his hands warm against your underwear. He rubs you through the material, once, twice, three times before he moves aside the fabric—the wetness covering his fingers instantly. You look towards the door again nervous that someone might walk out here and see the two of you compromised—you would die. Especially if it was Taehyung or Jennie.
“Quiet, alright?” Jungkook whispers and you nod biting your lip as he enters a finger into you. You close your eyes, mouth falling open. Your breathing picks up as he enters a second digit. His fingers are long and calloused as you noticed before but it feels so good. He brings one of your legs around his waist so he can get deeper into your center and a small, squeaky moan escapes from your mouth. Jungkook shuts you up by kissing you again and he begins to move his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right places, sending you into a silent mess.
You and Jungkook shouldn’t be doing this—not here, not right now, not ever. But you’re not doing anything to stop it. Neither is he. Is this suppose to be happening then? No—definitely yes. Wait, what? Your brain is so foggy you can’t even think straight.
Jungkook has added a third finger and it’s becoming harder and harder to stay quiet. Jungkook’s face in the crook of your neck, your neck in his—it’s all a little too intimate but it’s hot and heavy and it feels so good. Jungkook begins to use his thumb to find your clit, which he does with no problem—rubbing there and still moving in and out of you. Goddamn, he knows what he is doing.
“Jungkook, I’m gonna—“
“Shh,” he says, “Bite me, anywhere,” he says and you do as he says, your teeth clamping down onto his shoulder as you feel yourself falling off the edge. Your orgasm comes in a huge wave and it’s one of the best you’ve had in a long time—your body is shaking and you whimper into his shoulder, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Jungkook lets you finish before he pulls his hand out of your pants, letting your leg drop. You two stare at each other for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do now. You knew that Jungkook was hard in his pants but you weren’t sure if he wanted you to do anything about it. Should you ask? No that’s fucking weird. Well it’s fucking weird you just let your best friend of a billion years to give you one of the best orgasms of your life.
“Um,” he speaks first, “We should go back inside,” he says.
You nod, “Yeah, we should.”
You follow closely behind him as he slides the door open and you step back into the much warmer apartment.
“Y/N! Jungkook! What were you guys doing?!” Jennie pops out of nowhere until she steps back, “Fuck never mind, I can smell it,” she laughs, her eyes looking between the two of you. “What’s wrong with you two? Are you fighting again? Jesus fucking—“
“No, we’re fine, just high,” Jungkook gives her a reassuring smile and she nods absentmindedly. She is very drunk and then two of you might have to go home sooner than later.
“I need to call an Uber,” you say grabbing your phone from your pocket.
“I can drive you guys if you want,” Jungkook offers and you narrow your eyes at him.
“Absolutely not, you’re high.” You say pulling up the app on your phone.
“I’ve driven high before it’s not—“
“Jungkook, no,” you somewhat snap at him. This kid really knows how to grind your gears. “Thanks for inviting us, I just don’t want Jennie to do something she regrets tomorrow morning.” You try your best to lighten to mood but it’s not helping. As much progress as you and Jungkook had made the past few weeks, that all feels gone now. There’s heaviness with you and him and you hate it.
“Just let me know when you make it home?” Jungkook’s eyes are hard to read. He looks worried, anxious, high obviously, and other potential obscurities.
“I will, I promise,” you give him a smile and he returns one weakly. You look over your shoulder to find Jennie practically draping herself all over Taehyung. Fuck. “Jennie! Come on! We’re leaving,” you stomp over to the two of them and Taehyung doesn’t seemed bothered by Jennie throwing herself at him at all. If anything, they both seem to like it. “Jennie, quit, he has a girlfriend. Taehyung, you have a girlfriend,” you narrow at the both of them.
Taehyung laughs very drunkenly, “You’re right, come on Jen,” Taehyung pushes her away slightly and she stumbles over her feet.
“Our Uber is almost here,” you tell her and she nods.
“Sounds good,” she gives you a thumbs up.
“Help me walk her Tae?” You ask and he nods.
As you and Taehyung have Jennie up around your shoulders, you look around the apartment to find Jungkook to tell him bye, but he’s nowhere to be seen.
_____
It had been exactly one week since you’ve seen Jungkook. Since he was fist deep into your vagina, pleasuring you with at least 20 people in the room next to you. It has also been the last time you spoke to him. He didn’t reach out for any tutoring this week which was odd—as the two of you set a schedule for it a few weeks back. You were worried. You knew you should reach out to him and talk about what happened—but something was holding you back. You didn’t want to talk over the phone. It had to be done in person and it just had to be done. You didn’t want to lose Jungkook a second time to another drunken mistake.
Mistake? Since when was it a mistake? Was it a mistake?
You had no idea.
It’s why you’ve found yourself at Jungkook’s apartment a week later, waiting for someone to open the door. You wait patiently and no one answers the door. You’re about to give up when a voice startles you.
“Y/N? What are you doing here?”
Taehyung appears to your left and you jump.
“Shit Taehyung,” you hold a hand over your chest, “I’m sorry, I-I was just wondering if Jungkook was home?”
Taehyung adjusts his backpack. He must be getting back from class. “He’s probably at the gym.”
You nod slowly, “Alright, thank you.”
“No problem,” he says and you’re about to walk away and he stops you again, “Everything okay?”
You open your mouth and close it again, “Not sure,” you tell him honestly. He nods without another word, seeming to understand where you’re coming from.
If your assumptions were right, Jungkook would be at a gym about ten minutes from campus, one he frequented as a freshman all that time ago. You wanted everything to be okay, but now, you were sure you have done fucked it up once again.
The gym isn’t crowded and you don’t recognize any cars to be Jungkook’s so your mood begins to dampen as you walk towards the front door. The bell rings and you probably look like an idiot walking in with jeans and sandals, but your eyes ignore the stares as you try to find Jungkook. You walk through the gym towards the back, your neck craning each direction to find him. It smells of sweat and grit, something you haven’t done too much of lately. You’re about to give up until you reach the back, where a cracked door leads into another section of the gym. You open the crack slowly and the sounds of grunting and hard hits fill the room. You stop in your place as your eyes land on Jungkook, downing boxing gloves, a pair of shorts, and nothing else. You gulp.
He’s hitting a heavy bag hard and fast, his movements halting only for a split second before he strikes again. He’s dripping in sweat and you gulp again. Should you interrupt? He’s definitely not expecting you therefore you probably shouldn’t barge in but you’re already here, so what are you supposed to do?
“Come on Jungkook,” another man’s voice comes into play. You’ve never seen this guy with mint colored hair. “Throw a southpaw, let’s go!”
Jungkook’s stance quickly changes and he’s throwing his right arm and then uppercutting his left arm with all of his weight.
“Nice Jungkook,” the voice says again. Jungkook steps back with a smile on his face, looking behind him.
“Hey,” a different voice yells over and you stop to see who it is. A guy slightly shorter than Jungkook appears in the crack of the door, a wide smile across his face.
“Good news, fight is set,” the guy smiles, although his smile reads less than enthusiastic. You notice some bruising along this guys arms, a large scrap on the side of his face. This has to be Jimin, the other guy that was jumped with Jungkook.
“When is it?” Jungkook breathes heavily, his hair sticking to his forehead as he tries to push it back through his gloves.
“October thirteenth,” Jimin says, “A Friday.”
Jungkook laughs, “A fucking Friday the thirteenth? How cheesy could they get?”
You swallow harshly. October 13th was a less than three weeks away. You’re sure they are talking about the fight with the guy named Eric that Jungkook mentioned.
“I know right,” the nameless guy says, “But I’m sure you’ll kick his ass once again, waste of your time.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice Jimin,” Jungkook sounds annoyed and you’re starting to wonder if you should have came here at all.
“Come on, let’s do some more sets,” the other guy says says, patting Jungkook on the shoulder.
You take in a deep breath, hoping that this doesn’t backfire. You take your chance and open the door to the room as if you just showed up. Jungkook, Jimin, and the third guy turns to you.
“Y/N?” Jungkook asks, looking confused, “What are you doing here?”
You glance around the room awkwardly, “Uh, I-uh, went to your apartment to see you if you were a-and Taehyung said you were here, so,” you sound like a babbling idiot.
Jungkook’s eyes soften and it’s hard to not stare below his neck, but somehow you manage.
“Jimin, Yoongi this is Y/N,” Jungkook formally introduces you, “She’s a friend.” A friend. That hurt more than it should have.
“Hi,” Jimin gives you a sweet smile and he seems like a person Jungkook would automatically gravitate towards. Yoongi stays quiet. He’s definitely not someone you would strike as Jungkook’s friend.
“Sorry if I’m interrupting—I didn’t know…” you trail off, feeling more than awkward in this situation.
“No worries,” Jimin shakes his head, “We were almost done anyways.”
Jungkook’s eyes haven’t met yours since you’ve walked in. He’s staring at Jimin and knowing Jungkook, he’s going to try and leave as soon as he can.
“Wanna meet again tomorrow?” Jimin asks towards Jungkook as he packs up his bag on the floor.
“Yeah, sure,” Jungkook mutters, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. “I’m gonna stay here for a little longer though.”
“Alright,” Jimin says, “It was nice to meet you Y/N.”
You smile to him, “You too.”
Jimin and Yoongi leave the room and the silence is suffocating. You cross your arms around your chest feeling vulnerable and insecure. You look at Jungkook and he’s staring at you now. He looks away from you before turning back to the bag, lining up to strike it again.
“Jungkook,” your voice interrupts his chance to punch. He pauses with one more glance to your frame. You begin to walk closer to him wanting to get this over and done with. “What’s wrong with you?” You ask.
Jungkook looks down, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters and you nearly jump out of your body when he begins to strike the bag in quick, calculated motions. The bag moves backwards with each punch and his face tenses up, his mind clearly on one thing and one thing only. You exhale deeply, trying to stay calm. If that’s the way he’s going to play—you won’t keep your cool for long.
“Jungkook, stop,” you raise your voice over his movements and he suddenly quits, looking up at you again. “Don’t do this right now,” you say stepping closer to him again.
“What do you want Y/N, I’m busy alright,” he scoffs, stepping away from the bag, turning fully to you. You wish he didn’t look good drenched in sweat but it was hard to stay focused when he was looking like that.
“You know exactly what I want. You haven’t spoken to me in a fucking week Jungkook,” your words are fiery despite your cool demeanor.
“Is that really that big of an issue? We barely spoke for two years until recently,” he sounds annoyed, but also timid—you can sense something is bothering him.
You frown, “Yeah until recently because I thought we moved past that.”
He doesn’t say anything. And that’s what boils your blood. Tears are threatening to spill from your eyes—not from sadness, but frustration.
“So is that it? I let you finger fuck me and now I don’t mean anything to you anymore?” Your words are seething and once you say this, Jungkook’s face softens that slightest bit.
“What? No Y/N—“
“Then what the fuck is wrong with you? What have I done?!” It takes all of you not to breakdown right there. You just got Jungkook back. You couldn’t lose him a second time.
“Y/N listen,” Jungkook takes off his boxing gloves, throwing them in the floor, “You haven’t done anything alright. It’s just—complicated,” he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. He tries to grab one of your hands but you pull away from him.
“No, no you don’t get to do that,” you say, “What happened to communicating Jungkook? Wasn’t that our issue all that time ago?”
He looks down and back up. You really wish he would put a shirt on. “I know, I know…” he wanders off, “If I could tell you I would, but I’m just under a lot of stress right now and—“
“Then tell me what’s wrong,” you don’t want to interrupt him, but you feel like you two are going in an endless circle. Jungkook steps towards you once again and this time you don’t back away from him.
“Look, I’m sorry alright. I shouldn’t have cut you off this past week—I just thought it would clear my head,” he says. With hesitation, he grabs your wrists gently, “That was stupid I get that okay? I’m sorry, especially after… what happened,” he says and you can tell he means it. Jungkook is a genuine person, you can’t argue that.
Your face warms up and you feel almost embarrassed. Were you overreacting?
“I just don’t understand,” you mutter, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions but Jungkook, you’re worrying me. I don’t know what’s going on with us and this whole boxing thing is keeping me awake at night.”
He intertwines your fingers together and it’s comforting. Comfort you’ve been missing ever since a week ago. “Y/N, please just trust me okay? If I can get through these next few weeks I’m set and I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“How can you promise that?” You look up fully at him and you’re a lot closer than moments ago.
“I don’t to make promises I can’t keep.”
You sure hoped he was right.
_____
Two weeks have gone by since your talk with Jungkook in the gym. He had resumed talking to you normally, although there was still something off about him. Then again, there was something off with you too. The intimate situation the two of you found yourself in a few weeks back, still hadn’t been fully discussed and it bothered you like no other. It bothered you because you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want it to happen again—or even further. Fuck, you shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook like this. But don’t you have a right to? Jesus you were so confused. It’s why you have found yourself at Beta Tau Sigma once again on a Saturday night, Jennie already lost in tow somewhere, and you’re standing with Namjoon. Even though your mind was clouded with Jungkook, Namjoon was good company at keeping you distracted.
“What’s up with you lately?” Namjoon asks handing you another drink. You furrow your brows before taking a sip. Your face scrunches up at the taste—not the best.
“What do you mean?” You ask.
Namjoon gives you a straight smile, “Don’t play stupid,” he says. You don’t even try to make up a lie. Namjoon is too smart for that.
“I don’t know, Joon,” you sigh, “I’ve just been going through a lot lately I guess,” you mutter over the loud music.
“I get it,” he says, “Wanna talk about it?”
You’re about to answer him when you suddenly spot a familiar head of dark brown hair across the room. It’s Jungkook and he’s with a girl—you recognize her from somewhere. She’s standing in front of him and he’s smirking down at her and says something that makes her laugh. Then you know where you’ve seen her before—the bathroom girl. Fuck her, you don’t even realize you roll your eyes.
Namjoon laughs, “Whoa, what was that for?” He raises an eyebrow at you.
“W-what?” You look back to him and he follows where your eyes had been.
“Looking at Jungkook, eh?” He smirks, “Something going on between you two?”
You shake your head immediately, “No. Absolutely not.”
You didn’t know if that was a lie or not. Sure, Jungkook and you may have swapped some bodily fluids recently, but nothing else. You were also keeping a secret of his, one that if Namjoon found out about—would have him kicked out of the frat faster than he could blink. You glance back over to Jungkook one more time and find his eyes scanning the room. They land on you within 5 seconds and he shifts uncomfortably in front of bathroom girl.
“You sure?” Namjoon finds this situation funny. You don’t.
“Shut up,” you push on his chest slightly and he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him.
“Oh I can make you shut up,” he mumbles and you laugh as he closes the distance between the two of you. Namjoon’s lips are always soft and plump but that doesn’t mean he is always the most gentle. Namjoon is rough and sometimes—it’s just what you need. Jungkook’s lips on—
You pull away quickly from him. What the fuck?
“You okay?” He asks with concern.
You nod your head, “Yeah, I, just uh need some air,” you say. It was true—your head was now spinning and the alcohol wasn’t helping. You couldn’t believe you thought of Jungkook when kissing Namjoon.
“Alright, I’ll be by the bar.”
You leave Namjoon’s side and push your way through the hoards of people and loud music. You spot a door towards the back of the kitchen and use that as your opportunity. The air is cool but crisp. Just what you needed. There’s quite a few people outside surrounding a large bonfire keeping warm. You relax against the porch railings, staring aimlessly at the ground beneath you. You pour your drink out, knowing you don’t need to drink anymore of it. You nearly shit yourself when a voice comes up directly behind you.
“Y/N.”
You whip around, clutching your chest. “Jesus Christ Jungkook,” you say. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, a large flannel and sweatshirt covering his torso. He approaches you hastily and you don’t take your eyes off of his.
“I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” he says, obviously trying to make small talk.
“I didn’t either until Namjoon asked me this evening,” you say and you instantly regret bringing up his name. Jungkook stiffens.
“Still good friends with him I see,” he bites his lip nervously, looking over to the bonfire. You squint your eyes at him. He sounds off and annoyed.
“I see you’re still friends with bathroom girl,” you shoot back. You’re not even drunk, barely tipsy, but the thought of Jungkook being annoyed at you and Namjoon nearly sends you. At least you know Namjoon well—the only Jungkook knows about that girl is her fucking mouth.
“Gotta an issue with that?” He runs his tongue against his mouth and he looks at your from the side.
You turn to him and this feels all too familiar. “Yeah, actually I do.”
“Well, I have an issue kissing Namjoon in front of me—are we even?” He cocks his head to the side and you’ve never felt more annoyed yet turned on at the same time.
“Whatever,” you brush him off running a hand through your hair, turning back to your front staring at the fire. “Last time I checked I don’t take orders from you.”
“I know,” he says and you feel him push his body against your side. Your breathing instantly picks up and you bite the inside of your cheek to steady yourself. One of Jungkook’s hands finds its way to your shoulder, trailing it down to your elbow, then pushing it through the crack of your arm to settle on your waist.
“Jungkook,” you say quietly, not wanting to bring any attention to the two of you. Jungkook’s head leans down, his temple brushing against yours. His hand rubs gentle circles on your waist and you inhale his scent deeply. Fuck. “Jungkook… are you drunk?”
He shakes his head, “No, are you?” You believe him. He doesn’t smell like alcohol nor does he seem tipsy.
“No,” you say. Jungkook pulls you impossibly closer to him and your throat feels like its closing up.
“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook asks and you turn your head up, your noses brushing together. What? When has he ever been this upfront? You hesitate to answer but soon nod slowly—just once—you needed to feel it again—just once again. He closes the gap between you and you nearly melt into him. One of your hands grabs his face gently, pulling him down to you. Your own hands find their way to his fluffy hair, entangling into the locks. He presses himself into you and you feel your heart beating out of your chest. You let out a small whine when he pulls on your lip with his teeth and it shakes you back to reality.
You pull away from him—your entire body on fire. He’s got you trapped against the railing and you don’t trust the old wood to support your weight much longer.
“Jungkook,” you whisper and you feel something hard pressing into your front and your throat goes dry.
“Come home with me,” he says, “Please.” Desperation. That’s what laces his tone and you’re sure your heart left from your chest. But—you know this isn’t a good idea. Blame it on being sober, but you’re not sure you should go there with Jungkook. Not right now at least. Your head was spinning and as much as you wanted to—you couldn’t.
“Jungkook,” your eyes focus on his chest, watching your hands grip his shirt gently. “I—We can’t, we shouldn’t,” you bite your lip nervously.
“Please Y/N,” he nuzzles his forehead into yours, his grip on your getting tighter, “I need you, please—“
“Jungkook, no,” you push him off of you carefully and he looks hurt and confused. “I’m sorry, I—I want to but—“
“But what?” Once again, he looks sad and maybe a little angry now? “II’m not Namjoon? Is that it?”
You shake your head, not able to find a good answer in your head. His hands drop from your side and so does your stomach. Without another glance at your frame, Jungkook walks away, pulling at the roots of his hair.
You get home alone that night. Fuck. You think you really may have messed up this time. No, Jungkook wasn’t Namjoon but Namjoon could never be Jungkook. The history the two of you have... god you were so confused. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt gravity pull you to someone more since recently, that someone being Jungkook. As confused as your feelings were, you cry some in your bed. You don’t sleep that night, worried that whatever wedge is driving itself between you and Jungkook again—won’t be fixable this time.
_____
Jungkook, maybe much not to your surprise, cuts you off again the next week. You haven’t spoken or seen him since the party. Since he wanted you to go home with him and you nearly did, but thankfully you used your head some. You missed seeing his face dearly and missed his smile even more. When did things get so complicated with you and him? Ever since fucking graduation in high school—nothing has been the same. It’s been years and years and it’s something you’ve never gotten over. The more you think about it, the obvious reasons begin to show. Maybe Jungkook means more to you than you thought? Maybe he wasn’t just supposed to be your best friend? What if you two had been destined for something else all this time? Or maybe you weren’t meant to be friends at all?
Your thoughts are interrupted when a familiar face walks into your shift at the diner. Taehyung is by himself, his backpack thrown lazily over one of his shoulders. He looks tired, but just like you, getting through the day. His eyes meet yours and give him a small smile.
“Sit wherever,” you tell him and he decides to sit along the bar, sitting across from where you stand.
“Good evening,” he gives you a small smile, running a hand over his face.
“Hey Tae,” you breathe out, handing him a menu. He holds up his hand, not wanting it.
“Just get me a latte, extra espresso please,” he says and you nod.
“Coming right up.”
It doesn’t even take you a minute to make lattes now. The process has become so familiar it’s become second nature. Mainly due to your own obsession with lattes and your determination to perfect them yourself. You top the mug off with some foam before sliding it over to Taehyung. He doesn’t wait for it to cool before taking a big gulp.
“Rough day?” You ask, leaning forward on your elbows.
“You don’t even know,” he grumbles, “I had a quiz in my hardest class today that I didn’t know about, therefore didn’t study for,” he pauses, “I had to pick up all the slack on a group project that’s due on Saturday and then I have had to deal with Jungkook’s dumbass all week and he was at his worst this morning,” he rolls his eyes.
The mention of Jungkook makes your heart flutter yet stomach feel nauseated, “What’s wrong with Jungkook?”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you, “Don’t you know?”
“Um… he hasn’t talked to me in a week,” you look down at your hands, your mouth dry.
“Jesus fuck,” Taehyung groans, “No wonder he’s been in such a fucking mood. What did he do?”
You weren’t sure how to go about your answer. Um, yeah, so like Jungkook wanted me to go home with him to have sex and I did too and I didn’t and I don’t know why. Sounds great.
“It wasn’t him. It was me,” you pause, “He asked me to go home with him.”
Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, a small smirk on his face, “Did you?”
You shake your head, “No, I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted to but…” you trail off, slightly embarrassed to be telling Taehyung this.
“Goddammit,” he nearly laughs, “No wonder he’s pissy. Between you and tomorrow, kid’s got his work cut out.” You pick up Taehyung joking around but you still furrow your eyebrows.
“What’s tomorrow?” You ask.
“The 13th. Did he not tell you?” Fuck. His fight. Without talking to Jungkook everyday, you had forgotten about the fight.
“He mentioned it.”
“Are you going?” The question catches you off guard.
“What, oh no,” you shake your head, “No, he didn’t ask and I don’t think that’s something I wanna see anyways.”
“Trust me, he wants you there,” he says, “He’s just being a dick.”
“He’s got a funny way of showing it,” you snap. “Every time something happens between us… he shuts me off. I don’t fucking get it.”
“Y/N he does this to everyone when he’s stressed,” Taehyung pauses, “Especially since, you know,” he shrugs. The fights.
You nod, “I get it,” you slump, “It’s still frustrating.”
“You don’t have to tell me that—at least you don’t live with him,” he gives you a laugh and you send a smile in return.
“How do you feel about it?” You ask him genuinely, “The boxing I mean…”
Taehyung squints his eyes briefly, “I think it’s stupid personally,” this answer warms your heart until he continues, “But if I was as good as Jungkook I would probably do it too. The money in these things are insane.”
You raise your eyebrows, “So I’ve heard.”
Taehyung nods before he gets a text on his phone. He reads it before smiling.
“Your girlfriend?” You probe curiously.
He clears his throat, “Uh, yeah,” he responds quickly before turning his phone over. “So, what exactly is going on between you two?”
“Uh, what do you mean?” You laugh sarcastically.
Taehyung deadpans his face, “You know what I mean. I know you guys have this weird chemistry, it’s obvious. Plus he hasn’t shut up about you since you started tutoring him. Y/N this, Y/N that… it’s disgusting.”
Did Jungkook really talk about you?
“Ask him, not me because I don’t even fucking know. I could tell you what Kim Namjoon and I are before I could define mine and Jungkook’s relationship.” You let out a laugh and other eye roll.
“I’m assuming you and hyung are… what do they say? Friends with…?”
“Yeah yeah whatever you wanna call it,” you swat your hand slightly embarrassed.
“Jungkook hates it you know,” he says, switching tones. “You and Namjoon.”
You slightly snort, “And why is that?” You could tell Jungkook didn’t like seeing you with Namjoon, even before last weekend after he voiced it.
“Because he knows Namjoon is the type of guy you’ve always wanted, not him.” This takes you completely off guard.
“Why would Jungkook care about that?” You furrow.
Taehyung shrugs, staying silent this time. You weren’t stupid—you knew what Taehyung was implying by saying what he said. It makes your stomach drop. Maybe Jungkook felt more for you than he supposed to as well?
“So are you gonna come tomorrow?” He asks.
“No Taehyung,” you say, “I don’t want to see Jungkook get the shit beat out of him.”
“Jungkook won’t get the shit beat out of him, I can promise you that.”
You eyes glance over to the door as a small group of people walk into the diner. You don’t say anything else to Taehyung as you walk over to greet them. You seat them and make your way back to Taehyung, but you can’t chat much longer as you now have a table to tend to.
“Listen Y/N,” Taehyung stops you before you can walk back over with menus for the group, “If you wanna come, just text me. Like I said Jungkook wants you there, whether he’s said so or not. Also, another latte please, you’re slacking woman.”
You swat him with the menus before walking away from him. Goddamn, these next 24 hours were going to be hell.
_____
You couldn’t remember the last time you were ever this nervous for someone aside from yourself in a very long time. You remember how nervous you were in high school when you got injured and Jennie had to double with a girl on the bench of the tennis team. You remember being nervous for your parents when you left for college. And now, you don’t ever recall a moment in your life where you have been this nervous for Jeon Jungkook of all people.
It was Friday at 3:43 PM and you day was slow but painless, and you had no official plans set for the evening. Taehyung had texted you, wondering if you wanted to hitch a ride along with him to the match. You had yet to answer him. His text mocking you from your screen and you wanted to pretend that you knew nothing of the boxing match but that was impossible.
[You 3:59 PM] What time should I be ready
You send the message before you could regret it and delete it. Jennie has yet to be home from going to the store and you would need a good, yet believable excuse for your absence tonight.
[Taehyung 4:00 PM] i’ll pick you up around 8
[You 4:00 PM] Sounds good. Have you spoken to Jungkook today?
[Taehyung 4:02 PM] no he’s been quiet all day. have you?
[You 4:02 PM] Nope
You don’t receive another text from him and you slump down on your couch. It had been nearing two full weeks since Jungkook had spoken to you. You felt like all of this was your fault, sending him mixed signals and unsure of your own feelings for him. From the secretive finger fuck to the gentle kiss you shared last week, Jungkook was on your mind 24/7—aside from taking exams of course—but he was all you could think about lately. Growing up, you obviously loved Jungkook and was practically glued to his hip, but even then you don’t recall thinking about him every single fucking second.
You pull at the roots of your hair and let out a frustrated groan. Maybe you should reach out? After all, without your initiation of friendship all those years ago, you wouldn’t be here now.
You pick up your phone and find Jungkook’s contact and before you can stop yourself, you tap the call button. Your hands are clammy and you know he probably won’t answer, but it’s worth a try. The line rings for about thirty seconds before it goes dead. That dumbass doesn’t even have voicemail set up.
Pissed off even more, you slam your phone against the coffee table and let out an exasperated ‘fuck’ before going to your room to take a nap. Fuck Jeon Jungkook, is the last thought you have before you drift off into sleep.
_____
Taehyung picked you up at 8:02, though you told Jennie it was Namjoon who picked you up and the two of you were having a night in. You think she believed it but left her before she could ask anymore questions.
“I just don’t fucking get it Taehyung, one second he’s fine and another he’s like a child throwing a fit,” you filled Taehyung in on how you tried to call him but to no avail.
“You don’t have to tell me how he is Y/N, I fucking live with the guy,” he groans from his drivers seat. “I just think he’s going through a lot right now… with school, his parents, the boxing, you… he’s never handle stress that well you know that.”
You let out a sigh, leaning against the window, “It’s just so frustrating trying to help him only to get cut off like this…”
Taehyung looks at you with an eyeful glance though you don’t notice. “Y/N, in his eyes you’ve cut him off too, you do realize that right?”
You furrow your eyebrows. “What? No I haven’t?”
“Come on the little brat can’t keep his mouth shut. I know what happened with you two a couple weeks ago,” he says. You don’t say anything, cheeks getting warm. “And the weeks before that on our fucking balcony—“
“Okay what then Tae!” You interrupt him, too embarrassed by the memory.
“Jungkook is trying Y/N,” he says with a hint of a smirk, “He thinks you’re rejecting him,” Taehyung says matter-of-factly.
“Rejecting? C’mon Taehyung you know that I—“
“I know that you and Jungkook like each other, even though neither one of you have said anything, Jennie says it too.”
You narrow your eyebrows at your friend. “I don’t know what I think about Jungkook okay?” You’re being honest. You know you like Jungkook… but you’re scared of what that entails for the future. You want Jungkook in your future, you just don’t know what the right path is.
Taehyung doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his car into a fairly full parking garage. It’s dimly lit and slightly freaks you out. Taehyung had to drive to the other side of the city to get here and you don’t recognize the neighborhood around.
“Stay close to me, alright?” Taehyung opened your door for you and you nod without any argument. You follow Taehyung out of the parking garage into the chilly air and you huddle by his side. The two of you walk down a couple streets before he turns down a dark, dimly lit alleyway.
“Taehyung what the fuck,” you whisper and come to a halt. His brown eyes bleed into yours despite the darkness and he takes your hand into his.
“It’s okay,” he says reassuringly, “I promise.”
You nod reluctantly and the you continue to walk down the alley, coming to a stop at the end where you spot the familiar face of Min Yoongi. He’s standing down a small flight of stairs beneath you two and he greets Taehyung with a stiff smile.
“Taehyung, what’s up,” he says, his eyes immediately looking over at you, “Y/N?”
You tighten your grip around Taehyung’s hand, Yoongi’s stare quite intimidating.
“She should be on Jungkook’s list.”
You stay quiet knowing Taehyung doing the talking is the best strategy. Yoongi looks down at a clipboard—old fashioned but effective you guess—before nodding.
“You guys are good. Hurry and find a seat, there’s a lot of people down here tonight.”
“You got it,” Taehyung gives him a small smile before you drag behind him down the stairs and enter through a heavy door. You already hear plenty of commotion as you enter a huge space a few feet from the door. Your eyes look around and you could see nearly a hundred people just in your line of sight.
“Holy shit,” Taehyung says.
“What?” You get nervous by his tone.
“I’ve never seen this many people here, goddamn.”
“Why are there so many people here?” You spot a large boxing ring, dead center of the room and your mouth goes dry.
“I guess people like rematches?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you.
“Where’s Jungkook?” You ask, noticing how some eyes are staring at you, making you shift uncomfortably in your boots.
“Probably in the locker rooms… wanna see him?” He asks.
You bite your lip. “Does he wanna see us?” You hope Taehyung says yes. It’s killing you inside not being able to see him, hear him.
“Guess we’ll find out, c’mon,” he smirks and you follow him closely. As you look around, you do notice people you somewhat recognize. Whether it’s from walking around on campus or some of your classes, all these faces are not too unfamiliar. Taehyung takes you away from the crowd of people, through another set of doors and down another hallway. With this much walking and standing, you would have worn something other than booties. You enter the “locker room” area and you suddenly feel queasy. What if Jungkook is mad that you’re here? What if he doesn’t want to see you after all? What if—
“Y/N?” Your thoughts are broken by a honey-like voice and you focus in on the source. Jungkook sits a few feet away from you and Taehyung, back leaning against a wall. He looks confused, but also pleasantly surprised. “What are you doing here?” He gets up and does the unexpected—he embraces you in a tight hug. You return it without a second though, holding him close to you. He pulls away from you after a few moments and gives Taehyung a small hug too.
“Hey,” you say shyly.
“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks his friend and Jungkook shrugs.
“I’m alright.” Jungkook looks at you again. “I didn’t think you’d ever come to one of these,” he laughs awkwardly.
“Me either,” you say with no expression. As much as you wanted to be happy—you couldn’t. You were pissed at Jungkook for ignoring you and you were pissed that Jungkook was about to fight. You eye his frame, a white t shirt and navy sweatpants hang low on his hips. He looks calm, too calm for your liking.
“Will you give us a minute?” Jungkook suddenly turns to Taehyung and he nods glancing at you.
“I’ll get some seats.”
Taehyung leaves you and Jungkook alone and you nearly feel like crying. What the fuck is this mess?
“Y/N listen to me,” Jungkook says stepping towards you, “I’m so sorry about thess past two weeks. I-I’ve been a dick for no fucking reason and it’s not fair to you.”
You don’t say anything as you stand there with your arms crossed over your chest.
“Fuck I know I’m idiot and there’s no excuse… I’ve just been so stressed lately and you’re the best fucking part of my day—“
“Well why don’t you fucking act like it Jungkook? I’m sick of something happening between us and you acting like a I don’t exist for god knows what reason,” you raise your voice slightly.
“Y/N I,” he pauses, his hands finding their way to your shoulders, “I haven’t been honest with you and,” he pauses again and you feel your heart speed up. What’s he talking about? “I just wanna say—“
“Jungkook, you got five minutes,” the two of you turn to Park Jimin who seemed to come in at the wrong time.
“Fuck,” he says, “We’ll talk after okay?”
You nod hesitantly and before you can push yourself away from him, Jungkook places a kiss on your forehead and it makes your insides melt. Fuck, you meet his brown eyes, biting your lip nervously.
A revelation springs into your mind; you think you might love him. He pulls you in for another hug, though this is one much shorter as Jimin is ushering you out of the locker room in the blink of an eye.
As much as you wanted to be mad at Jungkook, those thoughts had quickly subsided and replaced with butterflies and nausea. Did you really love Jungkook? You always have, but the feeling in the pit of your heart is pulling you to a different type of love. You cared about him, sometimes even more than yourself. You’ve always wanted the best for him, even if that meant sacrificing your feelings in the process. Now you were stuck between a rock in a hard place, much like you were back in high school when you had a crush on Jungkook. Fuck. And now you have to watch him fight someone like dogs,
You shake yourself from your thoughts, as loud music flows through your ears and you look around for Taehyung. Luckily, his ashy hair color is easy to spot amongst the crowd and you push yourself to him, squeezing in between bodies and their chatter.
“My bet’s on Jeon,” a voice says.
“Fuck no, Eric isn’t gonna let the same guy beat him twice.”
You try to ignore the snide comments about Jungkook and when you get to Taehyung, he greets you with a smile.
“Hey, everything good?” He asks.
You lick you dry lips, “I don’t know,” you say honestly. Taehyung’s eyes drop and he nods.
Suddenly, all the lights go out in the venue and a roar of screams and cheers fills the void. You stay still, pressing your body close to Taehyung. It’s not that you feel unsafe, but this environment—it wasn’t for you at all. You heart rate quickens when a man, give a few years on your age, gets into the boxing ring before you, the crowd cheering even louder for him. He bumps a microphone with his palm before bringing it to his mouth.
“Welcome, welcome!” He beams with a smile, “What an outstanding turnout we have tonight! You guys choose a good one to watch because tonight is the rematch of two of the best fighters I’ve seen in a long time…”
“Let’s give a welcome to our first fighter, weighing in at 148 pounds, 5 foot 11, Jeon Jungkook!”
Being an underground fighting ring, there isn’t a posse escorting Jungkook to the ring. He’s got Jimin by his left side, Min Yoongi on the right. Jungkook is shirtless, wearing only a pair of navy shorts, black and white boxing gloves on his hands. He enters the ring with cheers and you inhale and exhale deeply. You look up at Taehyung and he gives you a nod of reassurance to calm down. Jungkook jumps around in place a few times, shaking his arms and shoulders out. From your seat, you can’t read his eyes or facial expression—but he looks calm and unnerved.
“Coming in next, weighing in at 145 pounds, 6 feet tall, Kim Eric!”
Jungkook’s opponent walks in next, three guys surrounding him. He walks slow and steady, his bare chest tattooed beautifully, his boxing gloves a dark red. He enters the ring to cheers and this Eric guy’s gaze doesn’t leave Jungkook’s body one time. Jungkook hasn’t spared one glance at the guy and you find yourself somewhat smiling. Jungkook has always been a cocky-fuck when it’s come to sports which would usually annoy you, but here right now—he looked hot as fuck standing there as if he had no care in the world. Jungkook stands on the left corner of the ring, sitting on a small stool as Jimin and Yoongi talk to him. Jungkook nods, absorbing their information. Eric and his guys do the same.
Suddenly, both men stand and Jimin is putting a mouth guard in Jungkook’s mouth and with one last nod, he finally looks over at Eric, who has already made his way to the center of the ring with the announcer. Jungkook stalks over slowly, his eyes dark and hungry.
“Alright guys, I want a clean fight. No kicking, no cheap shots. If you get knocked down, I give you ten seconds to get up. You look me in the eyes and say you’re good before anymore fighting happens alright. We go for five rounds, unless more is needed. A knockout wins. Touch gloves.”
Jungkook sticks out his gloves for Eric but Eric only stares at him, ignoring the sign of solidarity.
“Fuck you,” Eric says to Jungkook and sends a chill down your spine. Jungkook rolls his eyes, backing away from him, but stays silent.
“Alright… ready… fight!”
Time slows as a bell rings loudly, the cheers get even louder, and you find yourself gripping Taehyung’s arm for support. Jungkook starts to move around the ring slowly, but Eric isn’t having that—immediately rushing to Jungkook to get a few jabs in. Jungkook manages to dodge them perfectly before Eric can corner him. Jungkook keeps his gloves high and never looks away from Eric. Eric comes after Jungkook again, jabbing once—twice—the third time hitting Jungkook square in the face.
“Shit,” you breathe out, eyes widening.
This time, Jungkook comes for Eric, his jabs coming quick and calculated, landing Eric in the body once. Jungkook jabs again and hits him in the face. Eric moves around quickly, Jungkook not quick to follow him. Eric comes after him again, Jungkook blocking his jabs, but missing at the end, leading to Jungkook getting hit in the face once again as well as a body shot.
Eric is coming in hot, throwing punches and jabs left and right, making Jungkook dance around to dodge them. After a few moments, Jungkook begins to fight back, landing Eric square in the face twice. You notice that Jungkook must have busted Eric’s lip as blood now protrudes from his mouth. This seems to send Eric into overdrive and attacks Jungkook quick and fast. You cover your mouth when Eric has Jungkook trapped against the rope, landing body punches after body punches.
“Alright!! Enough, break it up!!” The announcer gets Eric off of Jungkook and Eric starts to laugh in a very showman's way. Jungkook is breathing heavy and he tilts his head—a habit of his that comes out when he’s frustrated or angry. This seems to be both.
Jungkook and Eric continue to throw jabs at one another. Within a few seconds, the whole fight seems to change as Eric manages to slip past one of Jungkook’s blocks and lands him straight on the cheekbone. Jungkook’s body almost freezes before he falls back on the floor and you gasp at the sight.
“Fuck! Taehyung—“
“He’s fine, he’s fine,” he says but his eyes never met yours.
The announcer is on the floor with Jungkook counting down from ten and Jungkook finally sits up when he reaches the number four.
“You good son?” The guy asks Jungkook.
He nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”
Jungkook gets up and walks around, stretching his neck around, waiting for the ref to announce the second round.
“That’s what you get motherfucker,” Eric says walking past him to his corner. Again, Jungkook says nothing before sitting down. Jimin takes out his mouth guard and lets Jungkook drink some water.
“Why is Jungkook letting him hit him like that?!” You ask Taehyung, looking up to him, “He’s getting his ass kicked!”
Taehyung shakes his head, “Jungkook’s smart Y/N… he’s trying to run Eric’s energy out. If Eric keeps swinging the way he right now, he’ll be passed out on his own soon.”
The second round commences and this time, it’s Jungkook who comes out fast. Jungkook soon has Eric trapped against the rope, landing jab after jab. The ref intervenes and lets them get some air. Jungkook’s skin is sweaty and red hot and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look as mad as he does right now.
Eric counters quickly, catching up with Jungkook again, landing punch after punch. Jungkook escapes but Eric sticks out a foot, causing Jungkook to trip. The whole crowd—yourself included—start to yell at the action. The referee pulls Eric back and points his finger at him. You can’t hear what he’s saying, but you know it’s a scolding by the way his mouth is moving quickly. You look over at Jungkook who shakes his head disapprovingly. He’s talking to Jimin as Yoongi cares to a cut on Jungkook’s eyebrow.
“He’s a fucking asshole,” you make out Jungkook saying.
The third round starts and it seems both Eric and Jungkook are equally fighting this time. Jungkook’s combinations are cleaner than Eric’s, anyone can see that, but the way Eric keeps landing in on Jungkook—makes you feel like this isn’t going to end well for him.
“Come on Jungkook!” You find yourself yelling in the chaos, your whole body shaking as Jungkook dances around the ring to get away from Eric. Eric has him trapped again, but with Jungkook’s strength, gets Eric off of him to turn the tables. There’s sweat and blood coming off both fighters and it’s got to be the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen.
“Come on you little bitch,” Eric spits at Jungkook, “Is that all you’ve fucking got?”
Jungkook says nothing again, jabbing when he needs to.
“Fucking hell why won’t you speak to me you fucker?” Eric speaks again.
“I don’t have shit to say to you,” Jungkook finally retorts back. “You lost my respect when you sent those pussies to jump Park and I.”
Eric swings hard and Jungkook ducks, barely missing it by an inch. Eric is tired, Jungkook too, but Jungkook can see a weakness in him now.
“Come on it was all in good fun,” he says with a smirk, “You know what else would be good fun?”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything.
“Kicking your ass,” he pauses and before Jungkook can do anything else, Eric swings down hard, landing on Jungkook’s body knocking the breath out of him. Jungkook stumbles backwards, holding his stomach, he lands again on the ground with a clunk. Eric stands over him, before taking out his mouthpiece, “And stealing your bitch you invited tonight.”
“Goddammit,” you mutter watching the scene unfold in front of you. No one knows what they’re saying to each other over the noise and you honestly couldn’t care. You just want Jungkook to get up and finish this shit.
Jungkook stands up, though with a visible wince in his face. He’s breathing heavy and is filled with pure rage. The fourth bell rings and it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to attack him. Jungkook is fast and furious, landing punch after punch and you’ve never been happier for someone to get their ass kicked. Jungkook lands a punch straight across the face, causing Eric to stumble backwards. Even though you know nothing about boxing, Eric looks exhausted where Jungkook looks ready for more. With everything left in Eric, he starts coming after Jungkook. Jungkook blocks until he can’t block no more, but something in Jungkook’s stance changes. Jungkook steps forward, his right hand landing straight on Eric’s face cause his form to break. Jungkook steps quickly again, his left hand bringing an uppercut to Eric’s jaw.
The room nearly falls silent as Eric loses balance, going down straight on his back and head. When he hits the ground, the room erupts in a roar so loud it nearly deafens you.
“Holy shit!” Taehyung exclaims. The ref is down on the ground, counting down from 10, and then it’s at 5 and then 3 and then—
“Ladies and gentlemen, Jeon Jungkook wins this rematch!” The ref grabs Jungkook’s hand and holds it up over his head and you find yourself jumping up and down, pulling Taehyung down for a hug.
“Taehyung oh my fucking god!” You exclaim. He smiles brightly at you.
“I told you, he knows what he’s doing,” he says and you nod. You couldn’t deny it now—as stupid as Jungkook was for getting involved in this, his talent for the sport was extraordinary. “Come on, let’s get to his locker room,” Taehyung pulls you by your hand and you make your way back to where you were earlier.
Jungkook hasn’t arrived yet, but you find Yoongi already in there, setting out a first aid kit.
“Hey guys,” he says, “Great fight, huh?”
“Yeah, it was brilliant,” Taehyung says. The door opening catches your attention and Jungkook walks through with Jimin. Your eyes instantly meet and you can’t even stop yourself from running to him and throwing your arms around him. He exhales deeply with a sharp wince, returning your bone crushing grip with his own.
“Alright lovebirds, he needs to get fixed up,” Yoongi’s voice interrupts you two. You hesitantly let him go and he sits down in front of Yoongi, sitting forward on his knees. He’s still breathing heavy, dripping sweat everywhere.
“Fucking hell Jungkook, since when do you box southpaw?” Taehyung pushes his shoulder slightly and Jungkook only laughs as Yoongi wipes away the blood on his eyebrow.
“I’ve been working on it for awhile,” he says, “Just never had the right time to use it… until tonight at least,” he says giving you a glance. “Eric is all talk, no bite. I can’t fucking stand him.”
“Well, I don’t think you’ll be boxing him again anytime soon,” Jimin says, “He’s embarrassed himself twice now.”
“Yeah, agreed,” Yoongi chimes in, placing one of those bandaids that pull the skin together like stitches above Jungkook’s eyebrow. “No one will want to box you now knowing you can southpaw.”
Jungkook looks at you and you furrow your eyebrows at him. He said he wasn’t going to fight after this, but the way they are talking—it sounds as if he is.
“Well, I think my boxing career is probably over after tonight,” Jungkook speaks up as if he could read your mind. He tears his eyes away from you as the others look confused.
“What?!”
“Why?”
“Jungkook c’mon!”
“Guys,” he breathes out, “I made a promise, okay? Besides, I have enough money now, I don’t need anything else.”
Your features soften as you listen to his words. His promise was to you. A smile grows on your face as you watch his body calm down from his intensified state. Once Yoongi is finished, he packs everything up. The five of you talk amongst yourselves before Taehyung turns to you.
“You ready to go home?” He asks.
“I can take you home,” Jungkook says before you can answer.
“Okay,” you give him a small smile that he returns.
“Okay then, I’m gonna head out, I won’t be home tonight Jungkook,” he says.
“I know I know, at your girlfriends,” Jungkook swats his hand and Taehyung flips him off before leaving.
Jungkook stands up throwing on a shirt and slipping into Birkenstocks. “Come on,” he says to you, holding out his head. You gladly take it and it feels more like home than home ever has.
_____
“Fuck Jungkook, how much money is this?” You ask him as he hands you a white envelope as he unbuckles himself in the driver seat. The envelope is thick and you peak out of curiosity, your jaw dropping.
“I told you,” he says snatching it back from you, “As much food as I’ve bought you lately, hopefully this will last.”
You swat at his sarcastic comment before letting out a laugh. Instead of going home, you asked Jungkook to go anywhere but there. You’re parked outside of his apartment complex, which was fine with you. The two of you needed to talk. Not much talking goes on as a silence falls between you two.
“Y/N.”
“Jungkook.”
The two of you laugh as you speak at the same time.
“You first,” you say, turning your body to face him fully.
He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I know I said it earlier but I really am sorry about this past week. There’s not an excuse that justifies me acting like a complete dick to you, especially when you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”
You stay quiet, unsure of what to say.
“And when I said you’re the best part of my day… I fucking mean it. I’m sorry for coming onto you like I have, I just,” he doesn’t finish, his eyes looking everywhere but you.
“Jungkook,” you get his attention again, reaching over the console to grab his hand, “Don’t apologize for that. Yeah, you’ve been a dick each time something happens between us but that’s the apology I care about.”
“I just don’t know how to say it,” he mutters, caressing your hand gently.
“So you’re really not going to box anymore?” you inquire. Jungkook was good, more than good... it couldn’t be easy giving up on that.
He shakes his head, “No. I told you I didn’t want you worrying about me anymore. I keep my promises,” his smile his sweet and you swear your feel yourself melting more and more into his touch.
“Jungkook,” you let out a deep sigh, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you in my life until we became friends again. You know almost everything about me and I don’t want anyone else to ever take your place…”
It’s hanging there by a thread—the words on your tongue—and you’re not sure you can say them and they feel constricting—but you know you have to and—
“I love you,” the words come from your mouth and you feel like you could puke. “I don’t know when or why, but I’m in love with you Jungkook. You’re all I think about anymore and I don’t want anyone else when you’re right here.”
Jungkook parts his mouth, staring at you with a look you can’t read. Fuck, you fucked this up for sure.
“Shit—I know that was so rushed and stupid. Fuck I’m an idiot—“
“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice interrupts you and you try to hide within your own body from embarrassment. With your hand of yours in his, he pulls on it, forcing you closer to him. You look at him wide eyed before he presses his lips against yours firmly. As usual, his lips feel so good and you melt into him. This is good right? What the hell is going on? You pull away from him after a few moments, an unsure look on your face.
He nuzzles his nose against your own before speaking, “I’ve wanted to tell you that since the night of our graduation.”
“Really?” You ask as you feel your palms sweat, heart racing.
He nods, “I’ve been in love with you for god knows how long now.”
A smile creeps upon your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook watches you with interest, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.
“I can take you home whenever,” he says quietly.
You’re quick to shake your head, “No, it’s okay… I can stay, if you want,” your voice trails off and you suddenly feel shy under his gaze.
You don’t notice how Jungkook bites his lip but he does say, “Yeah. Of course.”
_____
Jungkook’s apartment is how you remember it, though a lot quieter without Taehyung here. You’re sure the reason Jungkook’s apartment is spotless is because of him. He has always been clean and organized and Taehyung… well he was Taehyung.
“I’m gonna get in the shower, my room is in here if you wanna chill,” Jungkook says and you give him a small nod. He rids his shirt before he even closes the bathroom door and it makes you gulp. This is new territory for the both of you. The two of you just admitted your love for one another and you’re about to spend the night with Jungkook? And not in a friend way? Jesus Christ you could be tripping.
You walk into Jungkook’s room and it smells just like him. His bed is neatly made and his desk is sprawled with two computer monitors and some notebooks from school. His walls are decorated as you’d expect—a Korean flag hanging, a ‘Saturday’s Are For The Boys’ flag—typical—and a few Beta Tae Sigma plaques scattered. What catches your eye is a wall of neatly lined photos taped to the wall. You look around at all of them with a smile. Most of them are Jungkook and his frat brothers, Taehyung, a few of his older brother, there’s even a picture of you, him, Taehyung, and Jennie from high school. One that catches your eye the most is one of just you and him. It’s an old picture but the memories from that day flood your mind. It was from your first week of freshman year here at university. Both of your smiles are wide and you two are hugging each other’s frames closely. Jennie took the picture you remember. It makes you smile to yourself, butterflies entering in your stomach. Did you love Jungkook then and didn’t know it? The way you’re looking at him in the picture would say so.
You suddenly feel an urge to be close to him again. You’ve never been a ballsy person but as you look back at the bathroom door that’s closed, your desire to be touched again by Jungkook again overwhelms your senses. Closing your eyes briefly, you don’t need much more convincing before your stripping yourself of your jacket and shoes. You kick off your jeans and sweater, leaving you only in your undergarments. You tip toe to the bathroom, grabbing the handle, opening it easy.
The shower water is loud and there’s steam in the small quarters. Jungkook is humming to himself as you start to take off the rest of your clothing. With a deep breath, you grab the shower curtain, pulling it back. Jungkook’s back is facing you but he hears you instantly.
“Shit Y/N you scar—“ he stops mid sentence as he takes in your naked frame getting in the shower too.
“Hi,” you mumble meeting his eye contact.
“H-hey,” he nearly chokes on his own air, trying to keep his eyes up from your breasts.
“Scooch,” you smirk at him to move to get underneath the water too. He does as you say watching you curiously. You’re in the process of wetting your hair when his chest is pressed firmly against your back.
“This wasn’t expected,” he says into your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist from behind.
“You’re the one that wanted me to go home with you,” you say giving him an innocent glance over your shoulder. He laughs biting his lip, pressing them against the skin behind of your ear. You lean into the physical contact, feeling almost all of your stress go away instantly.
You spin around to look at him fully as it’s a frenzy whose mouth collides with whose. He leans down to grasp your lips in their entirety, pulling you closer to him than you ever have been. He pulls you away from the water so it doesn’t get in your face as he presses you against the shower wall. His tongue dips in and out of your mouth, his hands free roaming over your breasts and down to your ass, whatever he likes within the moment. Your hands grip his dark locks as he moves his mouth from your mouth, to your neck, down to your chest. He waste no time taking your right nipple in his mouth and you exhale deeply at the feeling.
You pull his face back to yours, kissing him again not able to get enough of his lips. His hands trail down from your ass to the front of your thighs, getting closer and closer to your wet center.
“Is this okay?” He asks as his fingers rub slowly back forth between your entrance. You can barely speak as his touch is setting you on fire but you manage to nod.
“Yes, please, Jungkook,” you say. He enters one finger, then another stretching you out nicely. Fuck you forgot how good this felt with him.
“Fuck you’re so wet,” he breathes heavily and you glance down at his hardening cock. Your mouth waters at the sight. Jungkook lifts one of your legs and starts to take his fingers in and out of you slowly and agonizing. He fingers you deep and rough and you can already feel a climax coming.
“Shit,” you croak out as Jungkook rubs one of your nipples, kissing your neck. There’s a pain at the back of your head at his force pushing you against the wall but it’s easy to ignore when it feels so good below your waist. “Jungkook, I’m gonna come,” you say as the snap inside of you is about to break.
“Come on baby,” his voice is deep and groggy. As if on cue, you feel your climax wash over you and you’re not shy to be loud. You know no one is here so it doesn’t bother you one bit. Jungkook kisses you against feverishly as he pulls his fingers from you. You feel impossibly empty but you know what you want to do and you’re not near anywhere tired. Your hands travel down to his front, grasping his hard dick in your hands. God, he’s so big.
“Oh fuck,” Jungkook seethes through his teeth as you pull on the sensitive skin, all the way from his pubic hair down to the tip. He places a hand beside of your head, leaning forward against your forehead. His eyes are shut tightly and you lick your lips, wanting to take him in your mouth.
You push him away from you slightly and move down to your knees, your face front and center with his beautiful dick. You take no time to put him in your mouth which causes Jungkook to groan loudly.
“Y/N,” he says looking down at you. He’s never seen a better sight. You make sure to keep eye contact as you bob your head up and down his shaft. While one of Jungkook’s hands stays against the wall, his other grips your hair, fisting it into a makeshift ponytail. “Oh fuck—He pulls on your hair and it only makes you want to please him more. Your left hand go to his balls, the right helping you up and down his length. He pulls your hair again and you take as much of him as you can. His tip reaches the back of your throat and you gag around his length and Jungkook thinks he could actually cry. Watching you through half open lids, he decides this isn’t how he is going to come—not tonight at least.
He grabs your hair and pulls you away from him and you’re slightly confused when he brings you to your feet.
“Come on, I need to be inside of you,” he says and you nod eagerly as he turns off the shower. He leads you out of the bathroom in a frenzy, pulling up into his bedroom. You shut the door behind you and he pins you against it, kissing you hard and deep.
Both of you are dripping wet but neither of you care to dry off as he carries you to his bed. You settle on his lap as his hands rest on your waist tightly. Your hands grip his face just as tight but you’re careful not to touch his injury above his brow. You couldn’t believe he was just fighting two hours ago—that seemed like forever ago compared to now. A lot can change in a short period of time and it makes you slightly chuckle against his mouth.
“What?” He breaks the kiss asking you with a hazy grin.
You shake your head, “Nothing,” you smile pushing his hair from his forehead. You liked seeing it. “I love you,” you repeat. And you probably won’t stop, ever.
“I love you too,” he says, “So much.”
“Let me ride you,” you whisper in his ear and his eyes light up like a child. “Are you clean?” You ask him.
He nods quickly, “You?” You nod in response and both of you feel excited and anxious.
You rub your hand against his length again and you hold it up as you adjust yourself to sit on him. As soon as his tip enters you, a shiver runs down your spine. As you sink yourself lower, groans come from both of your mouths, a deep moan erupting from you when you bottom out.
“Oh my god,” you breathe in and out to control yourself.
“Ride me baby,” he says and you start to move your hips against his. He fills up every inch of you and it feels so good. Your hips lift away from his and he chases them with his own thrusts. He kisses your neck as you throw your head back, your hands digging into his shoulders for leverage.
“Fuck Jungkook,” you say seeing stars in your eyes, “You feel so good,” you whine.
“You have no idea,” he says against your sticky skin, one of his hands bruising into your waist helping you ride him in a fluid motion. “Goddammit,” he says.
As you grind against him, your clit rubs against his pubic hair, sending your toes curling. He senses that you’ve found your sweet spot against him and places his thumb there instead to rub the sensitive bud.
You feel yourself inching closer and closer to a second climax when Jungkook stalls your motion.
“Lay on your stomach,” he breathes and you do as he says climbing off of him quickly. He doesn’t even give you time to get there all the way before he’s grabbing your hips to pull your ass to him. He slides right into you and you nearly scream into his mattress. Your hands grip the sheets as he fucks you deeper from behind. He smacks your ass once, twice sending a loud whine from your mouth.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mutter trying to focus on Jungkook’s whines and small ministrations from his mouth. He reaches forward, rubbing your clit again and you want to die and go to heaven at the feeling. Neither of you try to be quiet anymore as you feel the second orgasm coming over you. You clench and unclench around Jungkook’s length as he stalls his thrusts to feel the action.
“Come inside of me,” you say, knowing both of you are clean and you have an IUD.
“Jesus,” he breathes, picking up his pace again chasing after his own high. As the sensitivity becomes too much, Jungkook finally lets go, coming deep inside of you. He holds your hips close against him, trying to deepen his climax as far as possible. The hot cum inside of you feels good and you moan at the feeling.
When Jungkook finishes completely in you, he pulls out with a sigh. You collapse against the bed, completely spent. Jungkook finds a clean rag in his pile of clean laundry and is quick to clean yourself and him up. You feel like you can barely move as Jungkook joins you in his bed. He turns you over to face him and he kisses you gently which you return happily.
“I love you,” he says for the third time tonight, kissing your nose.
“I love you too,” you entangling your legs together. The room is silent apart from your breathing and you’re about to go to sleep when he nudges you with his hand.
“Come on,” he says.
“What?” You ask.
“Let’s actually take a shower now since someone wouldn’t let me,” he eyes you with accusation.
You squint at him before flipping him off. “Fuck off.”
_____
The next morning you wake up with Jungkook hugging you from behind, his face nuzzeled in your hair. You have no clue what the time may be, but you since it’s early by the way the birds chirp out the window. You stretch out your arms as best as you could and try to move your legs, but it doesn’t work since Jungkook’s heavy legs are tangled with your own. You’re tempted to fall back asleep but when Jungkook moves behind you, you turn to see his ruckus. You’re met with his brown eyes and you jump slightly, not expecting to see him awake. Both of you let out the faintest of laughs, not saying anything.
Jungkook leans over and kisses your lips, “Good morning.” His voice is groggy and he shuts his eyes again as you fully turn your body to his.
“Good morning,” you respond, watching the way his chest rises and falls gently. “How’d you sleep?”
“Hmm, really good,” he mumbles. You are about to join him in closing your eyes again until a loud rumble comes from your belly. Jungkook laughs.
“Hungry much?”
“Starving,” you groan, “I didn’t eat dinner last night.”
“Why not?”
“I was too nervous before your match… I thought I would yak if I ate,” you answer. Stupid, you know, but it was your train of thought last night.
He opens his eyes again, “Let’s go to the diner for breakfast… employee discount.”
You glare at him, “Is that all I am to you? A fucking employee discount,” you say saracastically.
“And my girlfriend if that helps?” He raises an eyebrow. Your cheeks heat up and you smile.
“Welllll, since my boyfriend is rich now and gets a discount, I’m assuming he’s paying.”
He smirks, “Obviously.”
“Will you take me to my place so I can change? And then we’ll go?”
He nods, his hand caressing the side of your body, “As much as I wanna stay in bed, I could really go for pancakes right now.”
“Waffles are superior,” you remark.
He frowns with a disgusted face, “Get the fuck out of my bed you heathen.”
_____
Jungkook insisted on coming up to your apartment with you because he didn’t want to wait in the car, but you know he just wants to see you change in front of him. Boys are all the fucking same.
As you fumbled with the key, the door opens and whatever Jungkook is saying to you is suddenly drowned out when you see—
“Jennie?”
“Taehyung?”
The names leave yours and Jungkook’s mouth as you watch the scene in front of you. Jennie is sitting on the counter, Taehyung in between her legs with a coffee cup in hand. Could be worse but what the fuck is going on?!
“Shit,” Jennie says pushing away Taehyung. “Hey guys,” she smiles awkwardly. You and Jungkook look at each other confused before Jungkook speaks.
“Uh, Taehyung?” He asks and Taehyung is. as red as a tomato.
“Oh fuck,” Jennie mutters shaking her head. She looks at Taehyung for backup.
Taehyung pinches his nose before speaking, “Um… we’re dating.”
You and Jungkook have the same reaction as your mouth drops.
“Jennie is your secret girlfriend?” Jungkook asks.
“Surprise,” Jennie smiles again looking at you.
You look at Jungkook and shake your head at the four of you. What a fucking cliché.
The four of you go to breakfast together that morning and it’s like old times, just with a sprinkle of something new. As long as the four of you have known each other, you’ve always had each other’s backs. Even now, with you and Jungkook and Jennie and Taehyung—you know that would never change from here on out. Turns out, Jennie just thought her and Taehyung were friends with benefits, while Taehyung was telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he was that smitten with her. The four of you laugh at the situation at hand and you couldn’t believe everyone was back together... like this. As Jungkook’s pancakes and your waffles arrive, Jungkook’s beaming smile lighting the whole room you think to yourself—this is how it’s supposed to be.
#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#bts#bts x reader#bts x you#bts drabble#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#bangtan#bangtan scenarios#jjk#kim namjoon#kim taehyung#park jimin#jung hoseok#min yoongi#enjoy guys!!#let me know what you think#please i'm desperate for attention lol#boxer au#college au#childhood friends to lovers
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Saving Tips for Hard Times
I found this old document where I collected a series of tips to save money. This is all part of my experience of when I was near homeless, and some work depending on where you live, some don’t. Here we go.
BILLS:
1. The optimum temperature for refrigerator operation is 5°C, and -18°C for freezer operation. As a rule of thumb, for each additional degree of refrigeration output about six percent more electricity is used.
2. Unplug your appliances. Lamps, microwave, tv, computers etc. They don't need to be plugged until you use them, and it saves energy to keep them unplugged. Therefore, money.
3. Do homework for phone companies and internet plans. Call them! Often they are toll free and if you mentioned that you were already with them or thinking of going with them and then found out another company had a better deal, they could offer you deals for lower prices. I had to do it all the time for my phone, until they couldn't really offer anything better.
4. BIKE. Invest in a used bike if you can, especially for the warmer months. It offsets the transit costs and better your health.
5. WALK. That's the same as the bike, honestly.
6. Pay your bills on time, you will avoid late fees which can up to HUNDREDS of dollars wasted over the course of a year. If you can, set up automatic payments so you don’t forget.
FRIDGE:
1. Every time the refrigerator door is opened, cold air escapes and warm ambient air enters. To compensate for the temperature increase in its interior, the refrigerator must then use energy to bring the temperature back down. Always avoid opening the door unnecessarily and for too long.
2. When defrosting frozen food place it in the refrigerator. Not only does this ensure that the food is carefully defrosted, its presence cools down the refrigerator interior, reducing the amount of work that the compressor has to do, and therefore lowering energy consumption.
3. Never put warm food in the refrigerator as this will heat up the interior, as well as other stored foods. Hot food should always be allowed to cool to room temperature before placing it in the refrigerator
MONEY:
1. Keep all the containers like glass bottles, juice bottles, jars, cans etc. Look for your Return-It depot and have trips to return them. They give back coins for laundry, small expenses etc
2. Use that junk mail. Go through it, find coupons for food, for essentials like toilet paper or shampoo.
3. CHECK. THAT. DOLLARSTORE. They often have things like pasta, ketchup, toilet paper, batteries etc for literally 1 dollar. Pasta is pasta, toilet paper is toilet paper. Seriously. Don't need to spend 5$ on a shampoo bottle when you can have it for 1/5 of the price.
4. Do homework and check with different banks for which one offers a better plan. Some of them are willing to help out. Sit down with their advisors, find the best solution!
5. Use the envelope system! For example, one envelope with a label “food” the other with “entertainment” the other with “bills”. Then set the right amount of cash for each. That’s what you’re allowed to spend each month. If you realize you need more for food, grab it from the entertainment envelope. Adapt and arrange as needed.
6. If you can, set up an automatic saving (example 50$ every paycheck) for both regular saving AND an emergency fund.
7. Use the 24-Hour Rule. Avoid purchasing expensive or unnecessary items on impulse with a self-imposed 24-hour rule. For any non-essential item, wait 24 hours before purchasing. It’s perfect for online shopping where your items can simply be added to your cart to purchase later.
8. Make a grocery list BEFORE going to the grocery store and STICK to it. You’re going to avoid buying things you don’t really need.
9. DO. NOT. SHOP. WHILE. YOU. ARE. HUNGRY. Or you’ll end up buying food that you actually don’t need just because you feel snacky!
10. Only use ATMs from your bank, or you get charged small fees.
11. Set a “No Spend Day” per week, where you consciously DO NOT spend any money for that day.
12. Ditch the paper: Cutting out paper towels and using cloths and napkins that you can simply wash and reuse is a simple way to save.
13. After you wear clothes, hang them outside your wardrobe, on a door or something. You can air them out a bit, then stick them in the closet without washing. You can basically reuse the same clothes two or three times without having to wash them, sometimes they just need a bit of air and they won’t smell AT ALL.
14. If you don’t own or want to spend money on an iron, hang whatever blouse you need to iron in the bathroom while you shower. The steam will humidify the fabric and straighten it up.
15. Hang stuff to dry. Really don’t need to spend money on the dryer.
16. Sign up to the library. They have so many books and DVDs nowadays. You can also just go, sit at the library and stay warm for a while, so that you don’t have to sit at home and either suffer the cold or use money on your own heat.
17. Budget, budget, budget. Get a lil notebook, write down the monthly expenses, cut what you don’t need. It gets easier with time.
FOOD:
1. Make a meal plan. Write 10-14 days worth of dishes that you can do (lunch, dinner, everything you need). You can then toss them around as you go on with your week, but that way you have a pretty clear idea of what you use and the food you go through for how long. It also reduces the risks of getting take out since you already have plans for what to eat.
2. Cook double! Seriously. Make that dinner and double it up. Leftovers can be frozen or put in the fridge for the day after.
3. Meal prep. Once a week, prep a bunch of different recipes. Let them cool down, stick them in the freezer. At that point you’ll already have all these meals at the ready to just thaw/microwave or oven up.
4. You don’t need pop. You don’t need alcohol. You most likely don’t need milk, but go for it if you wanna. Just remember dairy products go bad WAY more quickly than non dairies, so consider getting food and drinks with no dairy in them. Mainly, though. Water. Just drink water. Lots of it too! Sometimes our brain can’t tell the difference between hunger and thirst. You think you’re snacky? Drink some water instead! It’ll quell your hunger.
5. Freeze fruit! If you think you’re not gonna be able to eat fruit in time, put it in a Tupperware or a ziplock and slap it in the freezer. You’ll be able to then use it for smoothies.
6. Use the Italian saying “Colazione da re, pranzo da nobili, cena da poveri.” Which quite literally means “Breakfast as a king, lunch as a noble, dinner as a poor.” Breakfast should be very filling, carbs, protein, vitamins. It carries you for the whole day. Lunch should be quite filling too! But supper doesn’t really need a lot of it, and if you REALLY have to skip a meal, skip supper. Your body doesn’t need that much sustenance while sleeping.
7. This is for the desperate times but I’ve done it, and I would do it again if I ever had to. Go to markets that have like… Fruits and veggies. Talk to them. Ask them “HEY, can I have the fruit/veggie that you have to throw away?” Ask them if you can have the ugly produce, the one that doesn’t look pretty enough to be put out. Or ask them to have whatever extra they have to dump because is past the expiry date. EXPIRY DATE IS USUALLY MUCH LONGER THAN WHAT THE LABEL SAYS. I wouldn’t risk it with dairy stuff or with things that are VERY expired, but one or two days? Totally fine, I promise. And if you have to? Dumpster Dive. Especially at markets with fruit and veggies that have to be sold on the same day (because it’s not considered “fresh” past that day.) Or behind pizza places like Dominos or Panago or whatever chain. They get pizza orders wrong all the time. Just give a peak behind these buildings and look inside their boxes. You have no idea how many times I found perfectly fine pizzas. For free! IF YOU DUMPSTER DIVE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES, A MASK AND PLASTIC BAGS TO PUT YOUR STUFF IN. ONCE AT HOME, DISCARD GLOVES AND WASH PRODUCE THROUGHLY. Also check tumblr for your divers community, they usually know the best spots.
CLOTHES:
1. Thrift shop! So many GOOD used clothes are out there! Honestly! My whole wardrobe is thrifted and everything looks brand new. It takes a bit of research and maybe that shirt you liked is not in your size, but you can find EVERYTHING, from socks to bras, at a thrift store. Don’t thrift underwear though. You want to go new with those.
2. Invest in some needle and thread, then open youtube. There are SO MANY tutorials that teach you how to mend holes in socks and underwear. And really, no one will really notice if a mend is perfectly done or not. After a week, you’ll forget it too! But that prevents you from throwing away clothes that could just be mended a little.
3. Something doesn’t fit you? Too small, too big? YouTube, homie. They have tutorials on how to fix these kinda things! All you need, again, is needle and thread.
4. Organize clothes swaps with friends and/or neighbors. Everyone brings clothes they don’t need, put them in a pile. Go through the pile and grab whatever there is. There’s no money exchange, one could go home with 1 item and one could go home with 50 items. Who cares? The extra stuff… DONATE IT TO A SHELTER.
Feel free to add more, and stay safe!
#saving#saving tips#saving tip#money management#savings#small savings#homeless#saving account#my tips#signal boost#thrifting#dumpster diving#recycle#creative reuse#reduce reuse recycle#reducereuserecycle
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One of the things that rub me the WRONG way is when people say that Elain is BoRiNG on Twitter and Tik Tok. Like????? Listen to what I have to say. And I’m sorry in advance for how long this post is.
After Nesta deals with the mortal queens, the only bad guy left is Koschei. I don’t think that Koschei is going to have a big role in this book, he’s probably gonna have some mentions throughout the story and help the mortal queens when necessary given the fact that he most probably is the “dangerous new alliance”. Why do I think Koschei is not going to be part of Nesta’s story? Because she has nothing to do with him, nothing has been teased or forshadowed in the books and she would not be able to kill him given the fact that he can’t die and she doesn’t know where the chest containing his mortality is.
Which leads me to Elain who is THE ONLY one who has a connection with him, aside from the mortal queens and Vassa. In ACOWAR, she has a vision about an onyx chest. According to legend, Koschei’s mortality is contained in a needle that’s placed somewhere highly inconvenient and very far. But, finding and breaking it is the only way to destroy him. It’s hidden in an egg, inside a duck, inside a hare that's inside an onyx chest; the chest is buried under the roots of an oak tree, which grows on an island at an undisclosed location in the middle of the ocean-sea.
If Koschei can’t die, why should he be afraid of Nesta or the IC? He has literally no reason at all. BUT there comes Elain who has the slighthest idea of where his mortality might be. It’s only logical that Koschei will be at least a little threatend by that. My theory is that when Koschei will find out that Elain is a seer, he’s going to start manipulating her. Like an Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov kind of situation. Imagine him being constantly in Elain’s mind, trying to make her leave her family behind and join him. And that’s why I believe that something very bad happened to Elain while she was in the Cauldron.
I also do think that Koschei is to blame for seers being so rare. Imagine if they weren’t and 6 out of 10 seers would have had visions about the place where that chest is burried, he would stand no chance. I mean what chances do you have against someone who, if trained accordingly, knows every step you’re going to take, who thinks ahead of you and takes in consideration every foreseeable future. Let me answer it for you. None. Seers can literally change the future and mold it to their wishes. But Elain is BoRiNg, right?
And also, don’t you ever wonder about what exactly the mortal queens will give Koschei to have him on their side? He is going to give them his protection and alliance for what? It can’t be for free and surely not cheap. A SEER would make some kind of sense, I mean they are a rarity. But I don’t think the mortal queens know about Elain being a seer, but maybe Koschei will find out? I mean he kinda is one of the most if not the strongest warlock to exist in the ACOTAR world.
And now let me tell you why Elain and Azriel will most probably end up together. So let’s say that Elain figures out where the box is located, she will need at least a little bit of help. Who will give her his constant suport? Azriel. Who will most probably train Elain in combat? Azriel. Elain will go to the mortal lands so she could meet with Vassa and question her about Koschei. Who will be with her every step of the way? Azriel. Who will sail with her to the Faerie Realms so they could kill the Death God? Azriel. And probably Lucien too, though I doubt it. Who will train Elain to be a spy so they could gather information about Koschei? Azriel. It just makes sense. I’m not going to give you whole speech on why elriel will most likely happen when you have amaizing people who already explained it, but you got the idea. And more importantly, if Elain and Azriel will truly leave Prythian, we would have the chance to see how the Faerie Realms actually are.
A lot of people started shipping Emerie and Azriel (and I’m not saying you’re wrong, you can ship whatever you want), but if we put these two together, what would they add to the plot? Nothing. Let’s say that Azriel and Emerie (even though she has nothing to do with Koschei) decide to track Koschei down and they find him, how would they find the box, or what is in it? They would need the help of a certain seer 👀 Like I said, I don’t think that Emerie and Azriel will add anything to the plot and their story would end in like 200 pages. ACOSF will take place in Ilyria and it’s unlikely that the next book will also take place there.
Let’s talk a little bit about Elain and Lucien too. I still do think that there is a posibility that they will end up together, I mean we don’t know what cards SJM will pull at the end. And again, like I said above with Emerie and Azriel, they would add nothing to the plot. Feel free to disagree with me, I don’t mind, but I believe they would be boring, sorry not sorry. Give me Lucien x Vassa, give me Lucien learning about his true father, let me see him going to the autumn court to wreak havoc, give me him talking and clarifying things with Eris, give me Eris justifying his actions, give me Lucien talking about Jesminda, give me Vassa being the Queen of the mortal lands, give me Vassa and Lucien fighting Beron alongside eachother, give me Helion being a true father and helping his son, give me the story of Lucien’s mother and Helion, give me Lucien, Vassa and Jurian being a comedic trio, give me their stories. There’s so many things Sarah could do with Lucien that doesn’t involve his mating bond with Elain.
Sometimes I come across people, especially on Tik Tok, who want Elain to die, but Lucien would suffer so let’s keep her alive for now. Can’t you see how messed up that is? Like Elain is an object with no feelings and her only purpose in the future books is to accept the mating bond. She can say no. She can reject the mating bond and she can continue ingnoring Lucien if she wants to. A lot of people don’t realize that when the mating bond snapped into place, it was in one of the most traumatic experiences of Elain’s life. She has every right to deal with this in her own ways. Do I think that her ignoring Lucien till the end of times will be any good for them? No. She will have to face him one day, and that day will be when she wants it to be or when Lucien had enough of staying on the side lines and thinks that it’s finally time to face her.
I have to laugh every time when people ignore the fact that in one of the 2018 interviews, SJM said that during her pregnancy she started gardening and shifting to Elain’s mind and how she is going to have visions about ivory strangling her in her sleep (and a very interesting thing that ties ivory to my Koschei theory is that ivory does grow on oak trees 👀) And also it wouldn’t make sense for her to write Feyre and Nesta’s story and then skip to another character. And at the end of ACOSF we will have Azriel’s POV so... I think that confirmed elriel at least a little bit. But again, we don’t know what Nesta’s book will bring us.
Elain is BoRiNg! We don’t know anything that goes in Elain’s mind or how things are from Elain’s perspective. I think that Elain tries to repulse every negative emotion, especially anger. I think that Elain is hiding behind a very well constructed mask and at some point that mask is going to break and she’s going to snap. Remember when Elain whispered that she hopes they all burn in hell (they being the mortal queens), I think that we got to see a little bit of who Elain Archeron truly is. When she hit those hounds with her feet and when she stabbed the King of Hybern in the neck, it’s not out of character. That is the true Elain. Don’t you ever think that maybe Elain wants people to underestimate her, to think of her as weak so she can have the upper hand in any situation? GOD for all we know Elain could be growing poison in her garden. Anything it’s possible. But for sure she’s not as dumb and naive as Feyre’s perspective makes her out to be.
But the most fascinating thing to me is Elain’s powers, a seer’s powers in general because there’s so much you can do with the ability of seeing the future. Imagine her fighting after she masters her powers: her dodging every arrow, every sword blow because she already knows when and where they are going to hit, her knowing where and how to strike her opponents harder. Her powers can go in so many directions. I can’t wait to see her journey going from being only Feyre and Nesta’s sister to a badass seer spy. But yeah sure don’t buy her book after ACOSF because for sure it will be BoRiNg!
But before we get to her book, Nesta’s story will come out in 2 months and, for sure, her journey will make us want more of the ACOTAR universe. Can’t wait for ACOSF.
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backstory
warning: death, cancer, drinking, mental abuse, some physical abuse, cussing, crying, anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts, child neglect
genre: angst
summary: before ivy even got to her teen years, things were more difficult than most adults lives. from losing her dad, to experiencing neglect.
a/n: ivy’s story is pretty deep. feel free to skip this post if you are triggered by anything listed. also i’ll be using her birth name a lot throughout this story.
languages: normal = english. italic = korean
olivia min was born june 4, 2001 in michigan. she is the youngest of three siblings. miya, the oldest, was born february 20, 1997. and austin, the middle child, was born august 4, 1999.
growing up, olivia had an amazing relationship with her family members. her parents were always really supportive of anything she wanted to do. and her siblings, were annoying, but they all love each other so much. the family was pretty middle class, maybe more upper middle class. they had enough money to buy nice things and go on trips, which was nice and it gave the kids experiences they’d always remember.
when she was a baby, the families friend jax, had given her the nickname ‘ivy.’ the name stuck with him and eventually spread to friends at school. but her family members always called her olivia or jisoo, her korean name.
in school she was a social butterfly, running around recess practically collecting friends like they were collectors items. and because of her loving nature, no one could say no. she’s also very smart, she’s always had straight a’s and was usually willing to participate in class. teacher would say she was a sweet and smart little girl, and of course she could make the class burst into giggles at any second.
olivia started dancing at the young age of 4 when her parents enrolled her into dance classes. there, she met new friends and became one of the best youth dancers in their town.
her grandparents lived in ohio, which meant a lot of the times they would travel there for the holidays. olivia had a friend named aggy that lived there.
aggy lived next door to ivy’s grandparents. she was diagnosed with leukemia only five months before meeting the family, this was when ivy was maybe 7 years old.
through the years, ivy excelled in everything from piano lessons that she started when she was 5, to even cooking. she was a cheerful and happy little girl. until she reached age 9 when her dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.
this was a huge reality hit. she didn’t really understand it though, her dad was healthy. until he wasn’t. she remembers that day so clearly
“where’s mom and dad?” olivia asked walking into the kitchen and seeing her sister sitting next to their sleeping brother on the couch
“hospital, grandma and grandpa will be here in a few hours. for now our neighbors are gonna look after us”
“hospital? but why?” the little girl tilted her head
“i don’t know olivia. go back to sleep it’s early” miya did know, she saw her dad getting worse and worse as the months went on. but the last thing anyone wanted to do was worry anymore people. especially austin and olivia.
“okay…” she responded and went back toward her bedroom.
a few hours later she woke up to her grandma shaking her awake “wake up olivia. grandpa and i brought lunch.” the elderly woman spoke
olivia smiled at her grandmother as she sat up and stretched. the girl walked to the kitchen.
she still remembers all the yummy food her grandparents made, now knowing it was out of grief. later that night was when her parents revealed the truth to the kids.
and suddenly her whole world collapsed.
she would miss dance class and sometimes even school because her father would be in the hospital. because her mom and dad were always gone, she and her other siblings were expected to help around the house. occasionally with their grandparent by their side.
when she turned 10, she didn’t have much of a birthday blow out. and her present was some nail polish because that was all her family could afford at the time. when she turned 11, they spent her birthday in the hospital. her dads condition became so much worse that he wasn’t able to leave the hospital.
“i’m sorry you have to spend your birthday like this livvy” her dad held her had. his skin was paler than usual. colder too.
“it’s okay dad, i’m just happy we’re all here” she smiled as she held back tears. but her dad knew she wanted to cry.
“me and your mom got you something” he smiled and looked at his wife. the woman smiled sadly and reach in her purse to pull out a small purple box.
olivia grabbed the box from her mothers hand and opened it slowly. a beautiful butterfly necklace was revealed.
“it took a little while for us to find the perfect one” her moms sniffled. “we wanted you to love it”
thinking back on that moment. ivy now understood they wanted it to be special because it would be the last gift she would ever receive from her father.
“thank you mommy. thank you daddy” she whispered and pecked her dads forehead.
sadly, on june 29, her father passed away in the middle of the night. for some reason, her brain blocks this moment out. it’s all a blur.
her and her sister were sleeping on the little couch the nurses had set up and her brother was laying on the sleeping bag he had brought on the floor. it happened so suddenly. she woke up to her mom hysterically crying and weeping.
her brother and sister were frantic as nurses guided them three of them out of the room. but she does remember the last look she had at her dad.
he didn’t look real, more like a painting. or a sculpture maybe. his skin was practically white and his body was lifeless.
her whole family was in a depression, especially her mom. after losing her husband, she started drinking to numb the pain.
her grandparents left ohio and went back to korea completely unannounced. it was up to miya and austin to take care of themselves, each other, and of course olivia.
after a month of her fathers passing. the family had got a call from aggy’s mom informing them that aggy passed away july 25. so now she lost her dad and her best friend. along with that her mom isn’t stable enough to take care of her and her siblings, and her grandparents were m.i.a.
when she turned 12, that’s when her moms drinking got worse. she was living off of beer and tv dinners. she was also now mentally abusive toward her children.
austin became the child that started work. he would work late at night and then go to school all day. he was responsible for the families income at age 14.
miya was rarely ever home as well, but she was gone to escape their mom. she would rebel, hang out with her boyfriend, who ivy later found out was physically abusive.
then ivy was the kid that did the chores. she would also clean the neighbors houses to help pay her dance fees. the neighbors would always feel bad so they’d usually give her $30 for each chore she did. that was barely enough though.
and somehow, none of their friends ever noticed anything. except for austin’s, he’s always shut down plans to work and was overly tired all the time. but the friends did start noticing behavior changes
ivy became really depressed and spent most of her days just waiting for them to end.
the family got some income from the bank after the fathers passing. the kids were all in his will, earning $114k each. but they wouldn’t receive that until age 18.
around this time, ivy got into contact with her grandparent. begging day after day to move their and live out her dream of being an idol. her siblings would even call and beg the grandparents to let her, not wanting her to experience this life anymore.
after months of begging, her grandparents finally agreed to move her out to korea. she had already submitted audition videos to big companies like sm, jyp, yg, bighit etc.
she was 13 when she was officially moved into korea. she lived with her grandma and grandpa for a month before moving into the jyp dorms. she trained there for a year before being sent off to audition for produce 101.
during this time, she experienced great stress. her anxiety and depression led to suicidal thoughts and almost had to leave the show because of it. many fans who were supporting her throughout the show noticed her getting skinnier and skinnier by the episode.
somi, who became her best friend instantly, was also worried for her. ivy felt bad that she was worrying people. but she couldn’t help it, her mind controlled her. her thoughts were always telling her to do something. she would practice all the time and forget to eat.
somi would often watch after her to make sure she would at least eat a bagel and drink water everyday.
it wasn’t long before ivy would share her story, only parts of it publicly. her story reached american headlines, meaning her family and friends had seen it.
she was struggling for years. and it was only recently when she found inner happiness. she worked hard during produce, and didn’t win. and of course, she left jyp and moved to kq where she met her life long friends.
her boys have helped her so much, they were there to listen to her story, to hug her when she cried.
those are her boys, her family. her home.
#ateez#added member#kpop#ateez 9th member#ateez imagines#ateez fluff#hongjoong#jongho#mingi#san#yunho#seonghwa#wooyoung#yeosang#yeosang imagines#yunho imagines#mingi imagines#wooyoung imagines#hongjoong imagines#seonghwa imagines#jongho imagines#san imagines#ivy update#ivy#kpop imagines#fanfiction#ateez ninth member
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History 3 Trapped Filming Diary (full English translation) - Days 1-10
Just before you start reading, a little note of explanation: the author of this diary will frequently use the character’s name when they mean the actor. I have added the names of the actors between square brackets sometimes to avoid confusion. Also between square brackets you will find some words that are implied, so I added them in the translation to make the translation a bit smoother, but they aren’t included in the Chinese text.
The book’s author will also talk in the first person POV sometimes, refering to themselves as either “I”, “we” or “this little editor 小编”. So each time you see me write “I”, it is not my own opinion I’m inserting in the text, but the author/editor’s. If I have anything else to add or explain myself, I’ll add it in a note at the end of the text.
I’ll repeat: I don’t own the book so I can’t post my scans of the pictures that came with every day. So I posted some other pictures of the scenes that were being filmed with each day. These pics belong to LINE TV or Choco Media, or I’ve taken screenshots.
Day 1-10 under the cut.
Day 1
The first day of shooting happened to coincide with ‘Li Dong’⁕ but the temperatures of that day soared to 29 degrees. The crew was going sleeveless, but the actors were all wearing sweaters or dress shirts. Tang Yi, who had on the most, was wearing a turtleneck sweater and a suit jacket on top at one point, but he didn’t sweat very much.⁕ Meanwhile A De [Stanley], wearing a shirt and a suit jacket, was [clad] the ‘thinnest’ at the scene. When he got off work and took off his sweaty shirt, the wardrobe department exclaimed: “This shirt is so wet!”
Officer Meng’s scenes for that day consisted of eating from 10 am in the morning until 6pm in the evening. He basically ate from when he got to work until he got off work. All in all he had two large bags of rice and poured 4 liters of coca cola. Junhao [Jake] will start sweating profusely and start flushing when he eats spicy food, so as soon as the director yelled ‘cut’, the crew would immediately pass him a plastic bag so he could spit out the spicy Kung Pao Chicken he was eating.
⁕ Li Dong 立冬 literally means ‘establishing the winter’, so it is some kind of winter solstice in Asian culture. In the Gregorian calendar, it falls on 7 or 8 November. According to the IG stories of some of the cast of Trapped, it was indeed 7 November 2018 when shooting started.
⁕ Chris apparently doesn’t sweat much, no matter how hot he gets. He says as much in his vlog as well. I envy him, because I’d just be sweating buckets like Stanley.
Day 2
The first meeting between Tang Yi and Wenhao is also the second time that Chengyang [Chris] and teacher Jiakui [Chen Jiakui, the actor who plays Chen Wenhao] worked together. They cooperated for the first time on a movie. At that time teacher Jiakui served as the movie’s drama teacher. When Chris had gone through make-up in the early morning, he sat alone in a corner with the script. You could easily see that he was conflicted and upset. [For the other movie] teacher Jiakui was Chris’ mentor, but here Wenhao was the target of Tang Yi’s revenge.
In the process of their scenes where they faced each other, the director hoped that Tang Yi could hate Wenhao even more, but Tang Yi’s personality is subdued and calm. So how could he fly into a raging fit and still keep his calm? In a part that was not captured on camera, teacher Jiakui aggravated some lines to make Chris more infuriated. Afterwards teacher Jiakui also said that the role of Tang Yi is not easy to perform. [Tang Yi] is a young mob boss, The hate in his eyes must therefore also carry a bit of youthfullness, which is difficult to experience for normal people in the course of their lives.
Day 3
Today was the first time that Zhaozi arrived on set, and while he was bored waiting for his scenes, Zhaozi started to act as the shop’s clerk to sell suits. Apart from suits, bowties and regular ties, he even managed to sell shoehorns. By oneself, the words just kept on flying out of his mouth which left Shaofei beside him looking dumbfounded (if you want to see Shaofei’s dumbfounded meme-like look, you have to absolutely watch the behind-the-scenes on the DVDs)⁕. [Shaofei] continued to shout “If you buy a shoehorn you get Zhaozi for free with it, please someone take Zhaozi away, Unit 3 can’t stand it anymore.”
Boss Tang was tired, and took a nap in his own shop. ‘Just a little while will do. Shaofei and A De, you two be on the lookout for me, and if the director is coming, remember to wake me.’
⁕ Excellent advice. Please do watch the behind-the-scenes after finishing this book, because a lot of what is written here is visualized in the bts. The bts are arranged per episode though, and not per filming day, but it’s still amazing to be able to see what went on.
Day 4
The set for the offices of Investigation Unit 3 is actually the office of LINE TV’s Choco Media branch. The contemporary industrial style caused the atmosphere among Unit 3 to be even more lively.
For Unit 3’s first scene together, the director used a one-shot to have everyone appear on the scene, which meant that the first time all the actors were present, they had to have a ‘chemistry’ test. But apart from the actors, chemistry also had to be there for the whole staff, as the directing crew, the camera crew and the sound crew, really everyone, also had to follow [the actors] along⁕. I still remember that by the 20th take, everyone’s lines ran very smoothly, the shot was satisfactory and everyone was where they were supposed to be. The director and the crew were holding their breath in concentration, and just when they thought they’d succeed, A Zhi [character Zhou Guanzhi, played by Kass Tsai] forgot a line in the very last sentence hahahaha. In the end, this round took 27 takes.
⁕ The author uses a metaphor/reference here. They write 乾坤大挪移 which means something like ‘The Great Shift of the Cosmos’ and is apparently a kind of martial art from a martial arts novel. It consists of 7 increasingly difficult skill levels, whereby the 7th level is almost unattainable. In other words, shooting this one-shot scene required the whole cast and crew pulling off this great cosmos shift, and thus was a big, big challenge.
Day 5
After we shot the scene where the two idiots from Unit 3 [Shaofei and Zhaozi] got into trouble and received an explosive scolding by Dapao [Shi Dapao, the name of Unit 3’s Captain]⁕, the director told Shaofei that she wanted to add a scene where he sat next to the window thinking about Sister Lizhen, continuing in the same mood [as the previous scene]...Everyone in Unit 3 felt that Shaofei was continuing to set his teeth into a meaningless old case. If there had only been some progress in the investigation...but [Shaofei] not only didn’t find any new leads, but he also got into trouble everywhere. If Sister Lizhen would still be alive, he wouldn’t be like this now...Shaofei really, really missed sister Lizhen. Rather than say that the director added this scene at the last moment, it’s more like she deliberately didn’t tell Junhao [Jake] that she would add this part.
When they were shooting, the director played the music from the music box through the megaphone and from time to time talked as well, to provoke moody feelings in Jake. In the end Jake grabbed his phone and scrolled through his mother’s Facebook, and to all our surprise Jake started bawling, so much so that even after the ‘cut’ he couldn’t stop, until the director walked over and lightly patted him on the back. To be able to cry like that in a short amount of time, even he himself hadn’t expected that.
⁕ How much fun is it that the name of the Captain of Unit 3 literally means big cannon, when he explodes in anger all the damn time? 😂 I am quite convinced that in the hospital scene where Shaofei tells Tang Yi of his fortune-telling and that only a cannon can strike him down - he uses the exact same wording ‘dapao’ - it’s actually an inside joke and he may not have meant ‘cannon’ literally.
Day 6
Today’s weather couldn’t be called very fine, and when we were shooting until 3 or 4 P.M., the daylight was almost gone, just when the filming location had large windows in every corner that reached the ground. Our funny director said “Why did the production team run out of light after 3 P.M.? Did they forget to send notice⁕ to the sun?” This caused the crew that was present to not know whether to laugh or cry. But in the end, before the sun got off work, everyone else smoothly finished their job as well.
⁕ the term “to send notice” is quite literal, but the word is indeed an entertainment industry term as well, that means to hire someone for a short amount of time or for a specific show, without there having to be a longer-term contractual agreement. So it could also be translated as “did they forget to hire the sun [to star in today’s scenes]?”
Day 7
It was a day with complicated feelings for Shaofei and little Tang Yi, as Shaofei discovered Tang Yi’s past history.
Before going to meet the adoptive father of his lover, of course Shaofei had to straighten himself out first and shave his beard to leave a good impression. In the evening, today’s final scene was shot. Before starting filming, the director hoped that [Tang Yi’s] adoptive father could guide little Tang Yi’s mood, because the intensity of this scene needed to bring out the reason why Tang Yi’s feelings for Tang Guodong ran so deep and make everyone feel the warmth that Tang Guodong brought to Tang Yi even more.
Under the constant conflict of raising [little Tang Yi] through much difficulties, a loud and clear slap came down heavily on little Tang Yi’s face. The silence at the [shooting] site caused the loud sound to be infinitely amplified, and the director and the crew were all shocked. When the ‘cut’ sounded, little Tang Yi instantly started crying, and the director rushed to the room immediately. On every crew member’s face was reluctance and shock. Meanwhile the adoptive father sat with his head down on the sofa, full of remorse.
An extra tidbit from the same scene: the crew’s love for little gadgets
There are always a few conspicuous toys in front of the director’s monitor. She explained that these were toys that members of the crew who are close to her gave her to alleviate stress. I don’t know which toy is the director’s favourite?
Day 8
For the setting of the toilets of Unit 3 we actually used the toilets in a department store. Zhaozi, who arrived at the store very early in the morning, was hit on by an older lady who was just coming into work. The lady said: “Aren’t you Zhao Youting [Mark Chao]? You definitely are Zhao Youting!!” Even though Zhaozi went on to deny it, the lady didn’t listen and believed that this handsome guy in front of her was Zhao Youting himself.
Actually, Zhaozi passed on the above story [to us], and no one actually saw this older lady. Zhaozi often tells bluff stories with a straight face, but I [this little editor] have my reservations about its credibility. But be as it may, after he was told that he looked like Zhao Youting, Zhaozi’s acting skills immediately leveled up. So okay, whether or not the story was real, we thank this lady ‘from the legends’.
Day 9
Can I call you dad after this hug?
I still remember the story of a friend coming out to his mother. He said to his mom: “I’m sorry if this thing disappoints you. I don’t dare to ask for your blessing. I just hope that you can show some understanding.” Through a chat message, his mother could only briefly reply: “If your other half is a good kid, I will give you my blessing.”
Many people in a same-sex relationship don’t dare to confess to the older generation and they don’t dare to ask for their blessings. Their only hope is not to be hated. It’s like that facing this society, and it’s the case when facing your beloved family. When Wenhao and Shaofei met each other, Wenhao gave Shaofei a hug. This hug must have carried [Wenhao’s] unspoken blessing.
No worries, dear father-in-law. I, Officer Meng, will take care of everything (pats on the back).
Wenhao and Guodong together brings its own hint of romance.⁕ The fighting was very intense that day, so much so that the police dispatched a Quick Fight Force team in concern [for the situation].
⁕ The term that the author uses is 腐味 (fuwei, the taste of fu). The first character, ‘fu’ is the same ‘fu’ that is used in terms like fujoshi 腐女子 and fudanshi 腐男子 (which are Japanese) but it’s the same pronunciation for that first character. So the author implies that there might have been something more than friendship going on between Chen Wenhao and Tang Guodong. They imply the same thing later in the book as well (day 60, where the two are called a CP).
Day 10
A Mei [Stanley] who portrays A De, said that he was the expert in getting beaten [in this drama]. I say that Stanley definitely dedicated himself to taking on that role. Many times his head bumped into the wall and the crew told him to take a break, but Stanley couldn’t stop yelling “no no, hurry up, I’m familiar with it now!”
All the way through the end Officer Meng and Vixen⁕ no.1, A De, cheered each other on before ‘Action!’ [was called].
⁕ The word for vixen is ‘fox spirit’ 狐狸精 in Chinese. I love that and I could probably write essays on this subject. In classical Chinese literature, foxes were most of the time portrayed as (mainly female) temptresses who seduced males for sex and then didn’t shy away from sucking the soul out of them, kind of like a succubus. If anyone is ever in the mood for some academic literature about foxes in late imperial China, I've got you covered https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3237790-alien-kind
So A De and Andy are constantly referred to as these foxes who want to seduce Tang Yi and snatch him away in front of Shaofei’s eyes.
#圈套影像日誌本#Trapped diary#history 3: 圈套#HIStory3: Trapped#translation#my translation#jake hsu#chris wu#andy bian#kenny chen#jack#zhaozi#meng shaofei#tang yi#history3 trapped diary translation#mandarin#mandarin chinese#吳承洋#徐鈞浩#卞慶華#陳廷軒#孟少飛#唐毅#趙子#趙立安#飛唐#飛唐cp#立克#立克cp#HIStory 3 Trapped diary
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mixtape | track thirteen
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Sean died in January, and it was cold. That much Grayson remembered. The funeral was fuzzy apart from a few very vivid memories, including one of sitting outside on a bench, the wind cutting through his slacks and freezing his legs. His arms were so cold he couldn’t even feel the wind on them through the numbness, seeing that his suit jacket was wrapped around Cameron’s shoulders. He’d borrowed one of his dad’s ties - it was a tacky pattern but subtle in color. Sean had worn it to the twin’s 8th grade night for football when he’d walked them proudly across the field with the biggest smile on his face. He shivered. But it was still better than being inside, looking at the casket that had his dad but not his dad inside.
That suit was gone. He hadn’t been able to look at it after that day, so he’d donated it, despite his mother’s qualms that he may need a nice suit again someday.
That day was coming much quicker than he expected, and that’s how he found himself in the back of a department store sifting through racks of jackets. But there was one bright spot in the scenario, and she was looking through ties on a table to his left.
Indy held one up with a soft smile, the most she’d been able to offer him in the last day.
“She liked blue.”
Grayson could only nod, the knot in his throat stealing his voice. He took the tie, running his thumb over the silky fabric. They were quiet as they went through and found him a few suit options to try on. Indy had to hold them up high so nothing dragged the ground as they headed to the fitting rooms.
She sat in a hard plastic chair outside, crossing her legs and fighting her emotions. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel. After all, there was no reference, no textbook on the expected emotions of preparing for a funeral of a 15 year old with your ex. If he even was an ex. They’d woken up that morning in bed together after all, with his warm breath on her back, arm around her, hand tucked under her rib cage like it used to be.
And she felt warm. And safe. And guilty.
How could she have a flicker of happiness in a world without Bekah? How could she be grateful, or glad that Grayson was just two doors down fiddling with suit buttons when her being gone was the reason he was there?
It was a blessing, the hold he still seemed to have on her. Because as soon as he walked out her mind went blank for a moment, only able to process him, and his broad shoulders and strong arms that she could still see under his jacket.
“This is the best of the three. What do you think?”
It took her a minute to find her words. “Yeah, it looks nice. Very… funeraly.”
Grayson looked in the mirror. “Funeraly. Well, that’s the idea I guess. Works for me.”
He disappeared again, coming back out in his nice pants and crewneck. He looked good, but the look of worry in his eyes made Indy uneasy. She didn’t like when people worried about her.
“Let’s go find you a dress.”
She’d been dreading that part. She wasn’t much of a dress girl most the time, but she wanted to look her best for Bekah. She deserved that. So with a sigh she led Grayson across the store to the women’s section, looking for anything black she could find.
He was patient, offering his hand out to hold any of the options she found to try. She only found three that didn’t look like they were meant for a night out, and Grayson took the spot in the plastic chair while she tried them on. They all fit, but her favorite was the long sleeved number she’d found - tight enough to be flattering, and long enough to be modest and warm, with a long metal zipper that she couldn’t quite get all the way up on her back.
She reached and stretched as far as she could before she huffed in defeat, unsure of whether she should ask him for help. Was that weird? Or was she just making it weird.
After another moment of contemplation, she stepped out in it, stomach fluttering against her will when she saw Grayson look up and catch his breath.
“Can you…” She moved her hair out of the way, revealing her back. He stopped breathing for a second, chair clanging against the wall as he rushed to stand up.
“Yeah, yeah of course.”
He moved behind her quickly, finger delicate against her spine as he moved to the zipper. It sat right below her bra clasp, and he recognized it as the one with a bent hook, a casualty of the dryer that he’d accidentally put it in back in November. He realized he was taking too long and zipped it up quickly, patting it lightly at the top to let her know he was done.
He met her eyes in the mirror, and realized she’d been watching him the whole time.
“Do you think this will be warm enough?”
“We’ll probably be inside most the time, so it should be okay.”
She nodded at him, disappearing back into the dressing room and taking a few deep breaths. Nothing felt real for some reason, and it took all her effort to settle herself, keep herself in the moment she didn’t want to be in. She stripped out of the dress quickly and slid it back on the hanger. It wasn’t worth the argument when Grayson held his hand out for it when they headed towards the counter. With her inability to work shifts her bank account was grateful for his that seemed to always be overflowing. Surely a $50 dress wouldn’t break the bank, but she still thanked him when he swiped his card.
They walked into the parking lot in silence, and she climbed into the truck when Grayson pulled the door open for her. He sat the bags in the backseat once he climbed in, starting it up and cranking the heat up. The air was still cold, cold enough for Indy to shove her hands under her thighs in a bid to keep them warm. Grayson frowned and grabbed his jacket from the back, passing it to her.
“Thanks,” she said, laying it over her lap and smoothing out the wrinkles. She was rigid in her seat, especially when Gray reached his hand over to the back of hers so he could back out of the parking space. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath till both his hands were back on his side of the console.
She hated it. Hated feeling like he was watching, waiting for her to fall apart at any given moment. But she loved it too, because if he was there to look at her with pity it meant he was there. Her mind was exhausted with the constant battle of trying to put a word to her emotions, to guide them into whatever box they were supposed to be in.
To Grayson, it just looked like she was numb. Her eyes were trained on the New Jersey roads every time he glanced over to her, either out the windshield or through the passenger window. He wanted to talk to her, wanted to know what she was feeling, wanted to grovel on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Instead, he held his tongue and continued down the road, 10 under the speed limit just to buy a few more extra minutes with her close enough to reach. He wasn’t sure what would happen when they got to the house. If she wanted to go upstairs, to avoid him until the funeral, he’d understand. He’d let her, even if it hurt. He deserved that. He’d sit at the bottom of the stairs and wait, and listen, and hope she didn’t need him but also hope she did.
The two played their own games of tug-o-war, parallel to each other until they made it to the house. Ethan was on the porch with Gizmo’s cage in his hands, holding it up and talking to her as they walked in.
“See Giz? It’s too fucking cold out here.”
“Brrr,” Gizmo squawked.
“Yeah, fuckin brrr. So you gotta stop screaming to come outside before Ma loses her mind.”
“You sure you aren’t the one losing your mind?” Grayson asked with a smirk aimed towards his brother.
“Outside!” Gizmo yelled and Ethan clenched his fists.
“Did you all find outfits?” Ethan asked to distract himself, looking at Grayson’s empty hands.
“Shit, yeah I left them in the truck though. I’ll grab em Dee, go get warm.”
Indy nodded and walked inside slowly, taking her shoes off and sitting them neatly by the door. She walked to the living room, sitting down carefully on the couch with her eyes trained on the woods. Even the squirrels seemed to be grieving, moving slow through the grass at the tree line. She watched them anyways, envied their oblivion of all the tragedy of the world as Grayson hung up their clothes in the coat closet and watched her from the foyer.
Her shoulders were slumped forward, and it pained him to see her literally curled in on herself in a way that he hadn’t seen before. He ran through a million different things he could say, but none of them seemed good enough. There were never words for times like these, and he knew that. Sometimes, it was better to just sit in silence. So he gave it to her for a few minutes longer, disappearing to the other room where his conversation wouldn’t be overheard.
When he reappeared, Indy was watching a robin, feathers bright red against the dreary gray of the sky outside by the bird feeder. He stepped into her gaze, offering her a soft smile.
“C’mon. Let’s get you some warm clothes and get outta here for a little while, hmm?”
“Where are we going?” Her tone was flat, and it made his chest feel tight.
“You’ll see. Just trust me.”
Those words hung heavy in Indiana’s mind as she followed him upstairs, let him pass her an old pair of boots that were too big for her and his thickest jacket to fight off the cold snap that seemed to follow the warm air that had brought the thunderstorms.
Just trust me
She did. Or at least, she wanted to, and she willfully climbed back into the passenger seat of the truck, let him drive them down the road on the route that was familiar now. They made it all the way to the tiny homes without seeing another car. Indy felt like the universe was sad with her somehow, and she was grateful for it. She wasn’t sure she could handle seeing someone smile as if the world was still the same happy place it used to be.
She blindly followed Grayson until she realized they were going around the house instead of inside of it.
“Where are we going?” She asked again. Her voice echoed off the trees.
He simply held out his hand. She took it without question, ignoring the tirade of contradicting emotions it stirred in her gut. He still had his callous where his pinky met his palm, but it was softer than usual against her skin.
They walked through the trees slowly until they reached the cliff that Indy recognized from the first time she’d been out to Jersey. It felt like lifetimes ago that she’d been there, but the water still flowed and she still clung to Grayson’s arm the closer they got to the edge.
“Come sit over here,” he coaxed, leading her towards the middle and helping her sit down slowly. Once she was settled he sat down beside her, ignoring the cold that seeped through his pants from the ground below him. He could see his breath in front of him, but he kept his eyes on the water running far below his feet.
“Gray.”
He tried to ignore the way his heart sung - she said his name better than anyone.
“Why are we here?” She asked.
He was quiet for a moment, and he picked at his fingernails before he spoke.
“I used to come out here a lot when I was younger and got overwhelmed. I don’t like being around people when I need to feel something, you know? Well, I can only be around certain people anyways.”
The fact that Indy seemed to be one of those people wasn’t lost on her as she listened to him.
“I just thought coming out here might help.”
“Me or you?”
“What?”
“Is it supposed to help me or you?”
“I was hoping both,” Grayson said.
To his surprise, Indy chuckled under her breath and shook her head.
“Well, I’m fine. I’ve done this before after all. Should be pretty good at having people I love die on me by now.”
Grayson couldn’t find the words for a response, and his cheeks flushed from her tone. She’d never been so short with him before, and he felt embarrassed to think that somehow he’d be the one who could help her when it seemed no one else could. But he swallowed hard and looked over to her.
“I’m not fine. And you knew her longer than I did. And I know something about losing people too. That doesn’t mean it ever gets any easier.”
Something in his words seemed to pull her out of her defensiveness, and she took in a shaky breath, eyes brimmed with tears.
“Sorry.”
“S’okay. You can have a redo, if you want,” he teased, bumping her shoulder gently just to see her try to smile.
“I know you get it, I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I don’t know how to do this.”
“Nobody knows how to do this Dee. No one knows how to lose a 15 year old that was supposed to be here for a lot longer than she was,” Grayson said, clearing his throat when it tightened. Indy sniffled and rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her jacket. She was quiet for a moment and they listened to the wind rustle the trees until she spoke again.
“Her mom wants me to write her eulogy.”
“Fuck, Indy.”
“I’ve never done one before. Charlie did mom’s.”
“Do you want to do it?”
“I want her to have one,” Indy sighed, picking at the grass. “A good one though. Not the one that the preacher does where they pretend like they knew her when they really didn’t.”
Grayson reached for her hand and waited for her to look up at him.
“Maybe Charlie can help. I called her, when we got back to the house. She’s flying out tomorrow.”
Indy froze, then turned so quickly that Grayson put a hand on her hip to keep her steady on the cliff’s edge.
“Really? She’s coming?”
Grayson nodded. “I know that things are… hard, with us right now. And I know that things are always better for me when Ethan is around so I figured it couldn’t hurt. I think her flight comes in at -”
Before he could finish Indy threw her arms around his neck. He wrapped her up as best he could without pulling her over the edge, scooting them back slightly to keep her safe as he held her as tightly as he could through all their layers.
“Thank you,” she whispered over the trees. She couldn’t find any other words to express what it meant to her, so she left it at that and breathed him in in secret while he held her. He turned his head to press a kiss to her temple but stopped himself, squeezing her tighter instead before they untangled.
She pondered her next question for a moment, then decided she truly had nothing left to lose.
“Can we stay out here tonight? At the house.”
Grayson paused for a minute, stopping himself from immediately saying yes, reminding himself not to take advantage.
“You wanna stay at the tiny house?”
She nodded, fingers going back to the grass, and she kicked her legs so the heels of her boots bounced slightly off the rocks.
“The funeral is tomorrow. I need to write the eulogy, and I don’t want a bunch of people around while I do that.”
Silence hung heavy until he gained the confidence to ask.
“Am I… one of the people that can be around?”
For the first time in a long time, Indy smiled.
“Did you think I was gonna kick you out of your house?”
Grayson chuckled and shook his head.
“I mean you did break my heart, so it would be fair though.”
He froze.
Indy laughed so hard it bounced off the trees, made a few birds take off on the other side of the water.
“I’m fucking kidding,” she said, nudging his shoulder so he’d let out the breath he’d been holding.
“Jesus fuck Indy, don’t do that! Too soon!” He huffed, but he was laughing too, heart light as he saw the first glimpse of the girl he’d fallen in love with since he’d gotten home. It was easier to breathe with her around, even in spite of everything else going on. He looked at her, tried to take her in, but he stopped short with a frown when she tried to hide a shiver.
“You’re cold.”
“Just a little,” she mused.
“Ma is making dinner, we’ll go home, eat, pack some stuff then come back out here.” Indy only nodded and let him help her to her feet. She held onto his arm until they were off the cliff, and after that too. Over top of his jacket, she traced 333 on his bicep, eyes on his tattoo that was barely visible under his growing hair. She wondered if he’d gotten any more while he was in LA.
She wondered a lot about what he’d done while he was in LA, whether she wanted to or not. But she wanted to know if he’d been up every night thinking about her. If he’d cried in the shower as many times as she did.
She wondered if he’d hurt.
And she wondered how much she would hurt when he decided it was time to go back. Her mind was screaming as she clung to him, wary that she wasn’t keeping him at an arm's length like she had swore she would.
Her heart drowned it out, singing quietly deep within her at the familiar firmness of his muscles under her hand, the warmth of him beside her.
She’d take whatever hell was sure to follow with open arms if it meant she could be back in his, even for a little while.
Grayson played Cudi on the way back to Lisa’s and tried to hide his smile when he heard Indy singing along quietly beside him. He used the time to think of his pitch to Ethan, his plan for how they could split time on each coast, or even manage most of it from offices in New York. It wasn’t his top priority - that was getting Indy through the funeral. But he couldn’t hold off for long.
The house was warm when they arrived in more ways than one - cozy and filled with the smell of spaghetti that had Indy’s mouth watering for the first time in days. Grayson breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her fill her bowl, happy to see her appetite had returned.
Still, when they sat around the table, Ethan and Lisa were cautious to start a conversation, worried they’d say something that could trigger the wrong emotions. After listening to the scrapes of forks against porcelain for too many minutes, Indy cleared her throat.
“I think we should do something a little different tonight. Something to help everyone’s spirits.”
Everyone breathed.
“Yeah?” Grayson said.
“I say we eat on the couch and watch Emperor’s New Groove in true Bekah fashion,” she proposed, standing with her bowl. No one questioned her - they simply followed into the living room with their dinner in hand.
They laughed at all the right times during the movie, and the world was okay for just a minute. Indy still ached deep within herself, guilt punctuating each smile she let creep up, but she fought it like she’d learned to after Nicole had died.
Grayson was asleep before Kuzco made it back to the castle, exhaustion catching up with him quickly. He was heavy against Indy when he leaned onto her, one arm going over her waist. She felt Ethan’s eyes on the two of them but she ignored it until he came closer, speaking in a whisper.
“Charlie’s flight gets in around 7, I’ll go get her so you all have time to get some sleep,” he offered.
“Thanks E. And thanks for coming with him.”
“Of course. And hey, anything you need Inds. Literally anything, just tell me. We’re all here for you.”
She bit her lip and looked down at Grayson.
“Is he okay?” She asked.
Ethan gave her a small smile.
“This is gonna sound fucked up, considering what we're all doing tomorrow, but… this is the best I’ve seen him since we left actually. I mean, he feels like shit for not being here for, well for either of you. He just wants to take care of you as best he can.”
“He’s always been pretty good at doing that,” she murmured, brushing some of Grayson’s hair back from his forehead. He stirred, curling up closer to her.
“Get some sleep Indy. Love yah,” Ethan said, leaning over and giving her a peck on the top of the head.
She sat with Grayson for a bit longer, let him rest until her arm went fully numb and she knew she’d fall asleep with him unless she got up.
She coaxed him up and made him give her the keys, let him climb in the passenger seat as she packed up a bag of pajamas and their clothes for the morning. He was asleep against the window by the time she got back in the cab, and she was happy to let him sleep. She figured he’d be happy to climb into bed when they got to the tiny homes, but he shook himself awake on the walk inside, cranking the heat up once they cleared the threshold.
“I’m okay bub, you can sleep.”
“You’re not gonna sleep?” He said instead of conceding.
“I need to write the eulogy.”
His eyes saddened in understanding, and then he was rummaging through the bag for the paper he knew she’d packed. He sat it down on the small table and then returned to the kitchen.
Indy watched him as he pulled two mugs down from the cabinets, the clay ones with tiny “I” and “G”’s stamped into the speckled surface. They’d found them at the craft fair they’d stumbled across back in November and picked them up, but Indy realized it was the first time they’d used them as Grayson made them a cup each.
“Gray.”
“What do you need,” he asked quietly.
“Um… space, I think. Just so I can think clearly for a little bit. It’s not anything you did, I promise, it’s jus-”
“Dee, you don’t have to explain. It’s okay. I’ll be upstairs. Take your time, okay?”
She nodded and took the cup he offered with a grateful smile, turning to the table to work.
As much as it went against every instinct in his body, he left her sitting there and moved up the stairs to the loft. Even without the coffee that he downed, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to sleep. Especially not when he heard Indy’s pen clicking against the table, followed by her sniffles that seemed to amplify in the high ceilings.
He stared at the slats of wood and tapped his fingers against each other as he fought to stay still, give her the space she asked for. He was sure it was just part of the process, and he didn’t want to interrupt her. It could have been minutes or hours, he wasn’t sure, but when her sniffles turned to sobs, he didn’t have the willpower anymore.
She heard him coming down the stairs and broke down even further, burying her face in her hands.
“Hey, baby hey it’s okay. You’re okay,” he whispered. “Take a break.”
She knew she shouldn’t. She knew it was wrong, that she shouldn’t want to. But the need for comfort was too strong, and she broke. She stood from the table and walked over towards the small bench seat. Grayson sat first and she didn’t hesitate to climb into his lap. She buried her face in his neck and let the misery have her, let her body shake with the force of her pain and let him absorb it too. She let him hold her, let him love her the way she always thought he had. And it felt good there in his arms. The world was lighter with him there to split the weight. She knew it would crush her when he was gone, but she didn’t care. She wanted to believe Ethan’s words, that Grayson was better there with her, and it was just enough to make her feel like maybe she wasn’t a terrible person for giving in.
Indy fell asleep in Grayson’s arms. He didn’t care whether the eulogy was finished or not - he picked her up and moved slowly across the room, carrying her up the stairs carefully. She woke up just enough to grab for his hand, a silent invitation that he was happy to take. He climbed into bed beside her, let her curl up into him as he set an alarm he didn’t want to wake up for. They slept peacefully despite it all.
The next morning felt like a dream in the worst way. Nothing seemed to really be happening as they woke up and got dressed in black. Grayson looked good in his suit, but that was about the only thing Indiana noticed. He helped zip her dress and put her eulogy in his jacket pocket.
“You ready?” He asked as she fixed the lapels on his jacket.
“No,” she sighed, but she walked out the door anyway. He drove to the house as the sun rose over the Jersey hills. They were quiet, and Indy watched the trees go by, watched the world spin as if nothing was different that day. It made her angry, the same way it had the morning of Nicole’s funeral. But she’d learned that day that the world had no consideration for anyone, no matter what you gave her. So she swallowed it down and kept herself as numb as she could until they pulled into Lisa’s driveway and she remembered where Ethan had gone that morning.
“She’s here,” Indy said, her voice strained. It was the most emotion Grayson had seen out of her that morning, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. But he didn’t get a chance to ask, because Indy was throwing her door open and bolting for the house.
She found what she was looking for in the living room.
Charlie was sitting on the edge of the couch in a black dress, and as soon as she saw Indiana she was on her feet, rushing down the hallway.
Indy was sobbing before she reached her, but Charlie caught her and wrapped her up in the hug that only she could give, and Grayson watched as his girl went to pieces. Charlie held strong like big sisters do, shushing Indiana and coaxing her over to the couch, helping her sit down as she cried into her shoulder.
“You’re okay, hey, you’re alright. Breathe,” she said, but her eyes were on Grayson.
“She’s gone,” Indy blubbered, and Charlie winced at the pain in her voice.
“I know. I know.”
Grayson stood with useless hands in his pockets and tears in the corner of his eyes. He hoped that giving Indy her sister, even just for the day, was enough to help more than he could on his own. When her tears finally stopped, it seemed his plan had worked, even if it was only marginally. She ate a muffin that Lisa had made, and made everyone coffee just the way they liked it to keep her mind and hands busy as everyone got ready to go. She didn’t bother with makeup. It wouldn’t survive the day, that she was sure of. Lisa hovered, made sure everyone had enough to eat before they climbed into the SUV. She waved goodbye from the porch as they pulled away, the funeral home in the GPS.
It was a somber drive. No one even tried for conversation. Charlie sat in the backseat with Indy, privy to the fact that Grayson glanced back at her every few minutes to check in. Each time she was staring out the window again, chewing her cheek.
Indy didn’t know whether the ride was long or short. She didn’t know much of anything other than she felt like she was going to be sick as they parked. Cold air rushed in as Grayson opened her door and helped her down.
“You okay?” He asked, just for her.
She nodded, but they both knew it was a lie.
They passed car after car in the parking lot - almost every space was filled it seemed. Somewhere in her mind, Indy hadn’t processed how many people probably knew Bekah. How many people cared.
Still, she felt alone in the world when she walked inside of the building. The carpet was dark, with swirling patterns of gold and roses. The entryway felt gold, but the parlor to the left was colder. It was marked with a sign.
Bekah Andrea Newcomb. 2pm.
Indiana couldn’t breathe. She reached to her left, finding Grayson where she knew he would be, holding onto his arm like she had in the hospital room.
“We can wait as long as you need Indy. There’s no rush to go in there.”
Her voice failed her and she only nodded. Grayson didn’t move an inch until she did a few minutes later, gathering the strength to step inside. It was fragrant, both in the way an unpleasant place is and in the way a floral shop was. There were enough bouquet arrangements around to fill a house. It was overwhelming, but not so much that Indy didn’t notice the photos. She couldn’t look at them - she’d go to her knees if she let herself even process a single one. So she kept her eyes forward as they walked to the opening of the door on the right.
There was a wide middle aisle, lined with pews on either side full of people.
At the end was Bekah.
Even from afar, she looked cold inside her casket. Indy’s mouth tasted like metal as she forced herself to walk forward. Grayson walked tall beside her, but she could hear him sniffling above her. The Newcomb’s were beside their daughter, and they offered sympathetic smiles as they noticed the pair headed down the aisle. Luckily, they didn’t say anything - they simply stepped away to give them privacy as they made their way towards the casket.
Indy held her breath as she got closer, eyes blurry as she looked down into the casket, her hands finding the cold wood when she reached it.
“Oh,” she whispered. Grayson coughed out a sob, wrapping his arm around Indy’s waist and turning his face into her hair.
Bekah looked like herself, but didn’t. Her hands were folded neatly over her stomach, above her hoodie pockets. It took a moment for Indy to realize what she was wearing. A purple hoodie, her favorite leggings and her thunderbolt headscarf.
Her lungs tightened.
“No, no that’s not right. It’s not right,” she whispered, shaking her head as her hands fluttered above Bekah.
“What? What’s wrong?” Grayson asked.
“Her hoodie, she wanted her blue hoodie, that’s the one she asked for, that’s what we told her they were gonna find her in. She needs her hoodie, Gray she needs her hoodie, get her hoodie.” She couldn’t get a breath through her throat as she choked on her words, looking to Grayson for help. His face was twisted up in pain as he guided her away from the casket.
“It’s okay Indy, it’s okay,” he cried.
“She needs her hoodie,” she sobbed, holding onto his lapel to keep him close to her and to hide her face. All he could do was hold her and cry. No one looked at them and he was grateful as he led her back out of the room, back to where Ethan and Charlie were waiting. It took her a few minutes to catch her breath, even with Charlie’s hand on her shoulder. The eldest Cross put herself between her sister and Grayson, her protective instincts taking over. Grayson couldn’t be angry. He’d step aside happily if it helped Indy.
Her sister seemed to help to calm her down enough to catch her breath after a few minutes.
“Sorry, I don’t know what happened in there,” she whispered eventually, looking over Charlie’s shoulder to find Grayson’s eyes.
“Hey, no apologies today Dee. It’s okay.”
She tried to believe him, tried to accept that it was okay. Something about the sincerity in his voice made her trust him.
“I wanna go look at the pictures,” she said quietly, wiping her eyes and standing up to smooth out her dress. “Get some new images in my head.”
Grayson stepped closer to her, offering her his arm as they headed back to the parlor. Things were calmer as they started to look at all the frames. Grayson smiled at the first picture he saw of Bekah with hair, her afro tall and proud as she stood with a small soccer trophy and a smile so big it closed her eyes.
“She taught me how to do twists once,” Indy smiled, leaning her cheek on Grayson’s bicep. “I sucked at it I’m pretty sure but it was better than nothing.”
“I’ve never seen her with hair before.”
“It made her so sad to lose it every time. She always said it was the worst part.”
“My dad hated losing his. Can’t imagine.”
“Oh my god, look at this one,” Indy smiled, moving to the next frame on the table. It was Bekah in the pool as a toddler, with round pink sunglasses and a purple floaty, with her dad behind her, pushing her along it seemed.
“She always told me she hated water.”
“She did.”
Indy turned to see Martina behind her. Her eyes were puffy but she had a small smile on her face.
“When she was four she fell off a pool float with her cousin, almost drowned. Ever since then she never even put a toe in,” she explained. She stepped up next to Indy, putting an arm around her shoulder.
“Thank you for coming. It means the world to us that you’re here, and that you’re speaking later.”
Grayson realized quickly he wasn’t part of the conversation, and he excused himself with a reassuring look to Indy. Charlie was still where she’d started out in the entryway, eyes darting around nervously. It was obvious she was uncomfortable, and whether it was because she didn’t like funerals or didn’t know anyone, he wasn’t sure. Either way she hid it well when Indy needed her, but she didn’t bother with the facade when Grayson approached.
“She okay?” was his greeting.
“She’s talking to Mrs. Newcomb. She seems alright, considering.”
“Considering,” Charlie laughed dryly. “Yeah, she’s been through hell and back. But you know that.”
It stung, even though it was deserved.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“Well. In my experience what you meant to do doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you did.”
“I know.”
“I’m glad you’re here, but I’m scared to see what happens when you leave her again.”
“Charlie, I’m not gonna le-”
Suddenly, Charlie stiffened, eyes trained over his shoulder on something outside the front doors that made him cut his explanation short.
“Fuck,” she hissed.
“What? What is it?” Panic rose in Grayson’s throat as he followed her gaze.
There was a man in a navy blue suit walking through the parking lot. It wasn’t someone Grayson recognized, but nonetheless the hair on the back of his neck stood up. On instinct, he side stepped in front of Charlie, blocking her from the door.
“Who is that?”
“Our fucking dad.”
“What?“ Grayson whirled. “How the fuck did he even know about this?”
“I told him I was coming into town, he asked why, so I told him. Jesus, I didn’t think he was gonna show up! Indy’s gonna freak if she sees him, she can’t see him.”
“Don’t move,” he said, darting out of the entryway to peek into the viewing room. Indy was towards the front, talking to some of Bekah’s relatives it seemed. He caught sight of Ethan and moved to him quickly, putting a hand on his shoulder and trying to make it seem as casual as he could.
“Keep Indy busy and whatever you do, don’t let her go outside.”
Thankfully, Ethan didn’t ask for an explanation, and he simply started to move towards the front of the room as Grayson exited out the back, just in time to get to the front door before Kenneth made it in.
To his surprise, Charlie was right beside him when the heavy wooden door closed behind them.
He was shorter than Grayson expected. It was obvious his hair had once been blonde, but it was gray now, badly managed with box dye that he could still see remnants of by his ears.
Charlie’s breathing sped up and Grayson took a step closer to her, just barely in front of her.
It didn’t go unnoticed by Kenneth, who stopped short at the bottom of the three brick-layed stairs.
His eyes were blue when he looked up. They skipped over Grayson’s broad frame to Charlie and softened just a fraction.
“Char.”
She stiffened, and Grayson held his ground.
“Sir, this is a funeral. A funeral I don’t believe you were invited to.”
Kenneth’s eyes went cold the way a father’s do when they’re threatened, and he fixed them on Grayson. Gray enjoyed the fact that he had to crane his neck to see him.
“And who exactly might you be?” Kenneth spat.
“I could ask you the same question sir.”
“The fuck are you, a funeral bouncer?”
Grayson flexed his knuckles.
“Sure, if that’s what you want to call me. Either way, you aren’t welcome here and you need to go.”
“Look, I’m here to see my daughter, alright? Now get out of my way.”
“I can’t do that.”
Kenneth narrowed his eyes as it clicked.
“Ahhh. So you’re the boyfriend then.”
Grayson stayed quiet, but his stomach turned at the smirk that creeped across the man’s face.
“Get out of my way, boy.”
“I can’t do that,” Grayson repeated himself and set his feet.
Kenneth moved up another step, but he stopped, eyes on Grayson’s elbow where a hand had appeared.
Charlie.
“What’s her name?”
Kenneth laughed. It was an ugly sound.
“Are you kidding me Charlie? You think I don’t know your sister’s name? Give me a fucking break.”
Grayson saw the tears brim in Charlie’s eyes, and he clenched his fists.
“No. I’m talking about the 15 year old whose funeral you’re using for your own personal gain. What’s her name?”
Kenneth didn’t have an answer. Charlie stepped in front of Grayson, standing toe to toe with her father as she took a deep breath.
“Leave. You aren’t welcome here. You aren’t welcome anywhere near my sister, or me for that matter.”
“Charlie.”
“What type of piece of shit do you have to be to show up when your daughter is hurting like this? Hmm?”
“I just knew she’d be here-”
“You also know her address, Dad. You chose here because you want her weak, you want her to need you and she doesn’t. Get out. Leave. I’m not playing this game anymore.”
“Charlie c’mon.” Grayson could see the panic in Kenneth’s eyes as he realized what his eldest was really saying.
“Indiana has always been so much smarter than me. And I should have listened to her when she told me to not give you the time of day.” She shook her head, a few tears slipping past her eyelashes, taking mascara with them.
“Charlie, you’re all I have left.”
“Yeah, and you did that to yourself. Now, I have a funeral to get to, and if you try to follow me I’ll let him beat you into the ground like you deserve.”
With that, she turned and walked back through the doors.
Grayson stared at the broken man for a moment longer, and then he turned to follow her. She was sitting in one of the big chairs by the table by the window, hands shaking slightly as she brushed her hair behind her ear.
“Hey, you okay?” He squatted down beside her to get to her eye level. He saw Indy in the way her lips shook while she breathed, trying to pull it together.
“Do you want me to call Dev?”
She shook her head with a dry laugh.
“No, he’s already worried enough about me. I’m okay. Thank you for that, by the way. Pretty sure he would have just walked right past me if you weren’t out there. I shouldn’t have even told him about this.”
“You didn’t know he was gonna show up. I’m just glad he didn’t make it inside,” Grayson sighed, eyes flickering over to make sure Indy couldn’t see them. Charlie knew what he was looking for.
“Well, you’re the hero of the day Dolan. I’m sure deflecting the dead beat father counts for some brownie points in winning her over,” she said.
Grayson’s brows furrowed when he looked at her. He reached to the table and pulled a tissue for her to wipe her mascara with before he spoke.
“I wasn’t gonna tell her. No need to stress her out more than she already is, you know?”
Charlie looked at him for a moment, her head cocking to the right just barely, and she smiled just barely.
“Yeah. Right,” she agreed.
“I’m gonna go find her, but come get me if you need me okay?”
She nodded, smiling when he patted her knee and moved back into the parlor. Ethan was walking around with Indy, looking at all the floral arrangements that had been sent. Grayson slotted himself beside her.
“Are the blue ones different flowers though? Like what makes them purple?” Ethan asked.
“They’re all hydrangeas. I think it has something to do with the soil, that’s what makes them different colors.”
“Acid. The soil has to be acidic, Ma always adds stuff to get the blue ones at the house,” Grayson chimed in, subtly relieving Ethan of his duties. Indy relaxed when she felt him next to her.
“The blue ones are my favorite,” she hummed, rubbing a petal between her thumb and finger.
“Noted,” Grayson said. “Let’s get you some water, it’s almost 2.”
She didn’t protest, nerves buzzing with dread as she realized it was almost time for her to speak in front of so many people.
“You have my speech right?”
He patted his chest pocket where he’d tucked it that morning.
“You’ve got this. I’ll be right there the whole time, okay?”
She nodded, following him to the small kitchen to grab a water bottle from the fridge.
Time flew, and before she knew it everyone was seated in the parlor as quiet music played and the service began. There was a preacher who spoke, read some scripture. Indy could only hear her own heartbeat in her ears. Grayson’s hand anchored her, squeezing hers just barely. He traced over knuckles with his finger. B-R-E-A-T-H-E.
She tried, but her lungs felt tight when the preacher gave her the cue. She stood and smoothed out her dress, took the paper from Grayson. It quivered in the air as she carried it to the podium. There were too many eyes on her, too many red and bloodshot from tears already shed.
She looked at Grayson. He only nodded at her, a silent reassurance. She smoothed the paper out on the wood, inhaled through her nose, and spoke.
“Hi. For anyone who doesn’t know me, my name is Indiana Cross, and I was a friend of Bekah’s. I’ve never done one of these before, and to be completely honest with you, I’m not really sure how to do one of these. So, I thought about what Bekah would do when I asked her a question - she’d tell me we were living in the 21st century, and that I should ‘just google it’. So that’s what I did. But it wasn’t helpful, because eulogies aren’t designed to be told about 15 year olds. Because 15 year olds are supposed to turn 16, and get their driver’s license and go to prom and grow up to be 17, and so on. So, I don’t think any of us know how to do this -” she waved around the room with a broken exhale - “but that’s okay.”
“I’m the type of person who believes that there are reasons for a lot of things in life, but I’m struggling, like I’m sure many of you are today, to understand what the reason for Bekah being taken from us so soon is. Maybe it’s beyond our understanding. Maybe it’s the cruelty of the universe. All I know is, it isn’t fair, and it isn’t going to make sense to me for a very long time. But all we can do is work to remember Bekah for the light that she was, and will continue to be. So, I’m going to share a few stories about Bekah, and the people that loved her.
She could hear the sniffles, both her own amplified in the mic, and those from the crowd. She locked eyes with Grayson, who was sitting in the third row. He only nodded his head, willing all of his strength up to her somehow.
“I first met Bekah in a place where you generally don’t want to meet someone. The hospital. But, as anyone could guess, Bekah made a hospital seem like the best place to be simply by being there herself. We played pranks on the nurses, and then got said nurses in on our team and ganged up on the other ones. We ran the halls on good days, we cuddled up and watched movies on bad days. We snuck extra pudding and ice cream from the kitchen once when she was thirteen and got caught, and let me just say, I think that girl could have talked her way out of any trouble she ever got herself in. But the most important thing about that first hospital stay with Bekah was what she told me when I met her. She looked me right in the eyes and she said ‘don’t treat me like I’m sick and I won’t act like it’. I had never met a kid with so much strength and bravery in my life. But that’s what we did, and by god did she keep that energy until the very end.
“Bekah went into remission 3 times. And when I found out she was back for this next time, I figured it would be just like her past rounds. She would beat it, because she’s Bekah, and she always beats it. I don’t know where her strength comes from, but I know some of it is from her parents. But in all honesty, I think she was just a special person with something special in her. She was kind, and loving and strong and hilarious and witty and smart and beautiful and special. I would give up just about anything to get to see her grow up, to see the woman she would have become if - if she’d been given just a little bit more t-time.”
Indy’s voice began to falter, her breath hitching in her throat on the way out. She grabbed onto the podium, her notes blurry with tears. Grayson twitched in his pew, moving to stand up, to go to her. She saw him and moved her hand to the top of the wood, tapping her fingers subtly. Somehow, he knew what she meant. Wait.
“But I can find some peace in knowing how Bekah’s last days went, and I hope I can share some of that with you. She wasn’t scared to die. She went peacefully, and I don’t have a single doubt that she’s up in heaven watching us right now, probably making fun of me and also thanking me for not telling you all some of the stories of things we got up to. So to end it, I’ll quote a lyric from one of her favorite people, who she claimed would ‘totally be her boyfriend if he knew she had cancer’, Harry Styles. He says “remember everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here.” For now, Bekah is far away. And that’s a hard reality, for all of us, because she deserved more time here. But I know we’ll see her again someday, and I’m going to hold onto that until this starts to make a bit more sense, if it ever does. So, I love you Beks. Always have, always will. And I’ll see you again someday. Promise.”
Her voice cracked at the end as she stepped back from the microphone, fingers numb and cheeks hot and stiff from the salt of her tears. Grayson stood as she walked back down the center aisle to him, reached out to take her hand and help her to her seat. With the pressure gone and everyone’s eyes elsewhere, she crumpled into his chest, grabbing onto the lapel of his suit jacket as the sobs began to break free.
“Shhh, you’re okay. You did so good,” he whispered just for her, his own tears disappearing into her hair. Charlie ran a hand along her back to soothe her as the preacher returned to the podium to speak again. She didn’t hear much of what he said. Everyone cried as the service moved on, sounds of rustled tissue boxes and quiet sobs behind fists made the soundtrack to the show no one wanted to see.
Everything moved too quickly, and suddenly everyone was lining up to pass by and give their final goodbyes. Indy clung to Grayson’s hand as Ethan and Charlie excused themselves out of respect.
Indy blinked away her tears to get one more look at Bekah when it was her turn. Grayson reached to adjust her head scarf, and Indy rubbed her hand, willing herself to pretend it was warm.
Grayson was a pallbearer, eyes red and puffy as he carried her much too light casket to the back of the hearse. It gave Indy comfort, knowing she was safe with him.
She held it together on the walk to the car, head held high the way Bekah would want it to be, and she noticed Charlie scurry to take the front seat, forcing Grayson into the back with her. She was grateful for it, especially when she slid into the middle seat so she could sit next to him as they joined the procession.
Indy watched the trees, and Grayson watched her.
The cemetery was beautiful as they drove through it. Plenty of trees that Indy knew would be beautiful in the warmer months. It gave her some peace to know that she would rest in such a lovely place, even though she knew she wasn’t really there. She hoped it would give people a place to remember her fondly, to talk to her. She herself had never really cared for cemeteries, but she stood tall anyways and went through the motions. She watched Grayson carry the casket to the pedestal, took the rose that they gave her off of the casket spray and said her goodbyes quietly.
The sun shone brightly above them, but it began to drizzle right as she was about to climb into the car. A sun shower, she supposed.
Her tears mixed with the droplets that fell.
“Hey Beks,” she smiled, an odd sense of peace flowing over her as she stood there for a moment to soak it in before she climbed into the car.
Ethan drove them back to Jersey, and Indy laid her head on Grayson’s shoulder the whole two hours it took to get there.
When they got back, it was obvious what Lisa had been doing to keep herself busy. There was a casserole in the oven, both a vegan and non-vegan option, with fresh salad and bread she’d baked herself.
“I know it’s not really dinner time yet, I just figured you guys might be hungry when you got back, and I didn’t have much else to do,” Lisa explained with a sheepish smile. Grayson just smiled at her and kissed her temple.
“Thanks Ma. You’re the best. Dee, you want something to change into?”
“Sure. My stuff is out at the house though,” she reminded him.
“I’ll find you something,” he said before he disappeared upstairs.
“The house? You all stayed out at the tiny homes last night?” Charlie asked quietly. Indy bristled, ready to defend herself.
“I needed to write the eulogy, I needed somewhere quiet, and it’s nice out there. I just needed somewhere nice for the night, not my place.”
Charlie was smiling.
“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,” she said. Indy balked, unsure that she’d heard her sister correctly. She resisted the urge to quote some of the explitivies Charlie had called Grayson when she first found out he’d left for LA during their phone call.
“You’re not saying it’s a bad thing…” Indy confirmed, waiting.
“All I’m saying is… maybe I was wrong. He’s a good guy. Just be careful, okay? Can’t see you like that again, especially with all this going on too.”
Indy was blushing, but she nodded.
“Here, try these. Might fit if you roll them and tie em’ real tight.” Gray came down the stairs with a pair of black sweatpants and an old wrestling sweatshirt. She took them gratefully, moving into the bathroom to change. She felt free once her dress was gone, like she’d pulled some of the weight of the day off with the fabric. The sweats were still too big, but she didn’t mind.
Outside the door and down the hallway, Ethan had pulled his brother aside.
“You need to be here.”
Grayson waited for him to continue.
“I was fucking wrong. I got my priorities fucked, and I put that on you, and I’m sorry. I know the businesses are out in LA, and I don’t think we can really change that right now, but we’ll figure it out. I can fly out here when we need to, and you can come out when you have to.”
Indy heard voices down the hall.
“Flights are cheaper on Thursdays usually, we could always plan for that.”
It hurt worse somehow, for it to be in Grayson’s voice.
It was Tuesday.
She disappeared quietly down the hall in the other direction, her stomach turning.
It was what she knew would happen. It was the pain she’d told herself would be worth letting herself be with him, just for a few more days.
The pain in her gut had other ideas. The smell of the food from the kitchen made her nauseous when she reentered, and she gave Lisa a sympathetic smile. The angel in the whole ordeal, the last thing she wanted was to hurt her.
“Hey Li, I’m not feeling too good. I think I’m gonna lay down upstairs for a bit if that’s okay.”
“Of course, of course it’s okay. Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m good. Thank you, and thank you for cooking. You guys go ahead and eat if you get hungry, I’m probably good for tonight.”
“Okay sweetie, get some rest.”
Indy managed to get upstairs undetected, and she found herself in Grayson’s room out of habit. She didn’t know what else to do, so she climbed under the covers and let her tears fall. She felt stupid, and unwanted, and sad. She’d let her heart get trampled again, all for a few days of comfort.
She felt pathetic.
Grayson’s feet thudded up the stairs only a few minutes later. She buried her face in the covers like a child, made her breathing even and slow.
He creaked the door open quietly, feet pausing before he came over to her.
She felt his hand on her hair, smoothing it back, and then his lips on her temple.
“I love you,” he whispered, and then he was gone.
Indy’s heart jumped to her throat, and her eyes shot open when she heard the door latch.
Her mind ran circles around itself as she laid there, staring at the ceiling wrapped in the blankets that smelled like him.
Did he love her? And if he did, did it matter?
It was times like that she wished more than anything that her mom was there. The closest thing she had was Charlie, who she suddenly felt guilty for leaving downstairs. But at the same time, she knew she couldn’t reappear so soon. So she sat, and she spiraled and rationalized and tried to make sense of her world that had fallen apart around her so quickly.
Downstairs, Grayson’s mind was wandering. His stomach led him, as it often did, but the greater part of him wanted to be upstairs in bed instead of at the kitchen table. But he couldn’t deny his mom’s cooking, especially after a hard day. So he sat at the table, glad that Charlie was no longer staring daggers into him from across the table. He gave Indy an hour or so to sleep before he went to check on her again, surprised to see her awake, perched on the edge of the bed.
“Hey you,” he smiled. “You ready to go?”
She looked up quickly. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought she looked nervous.
“Go?”
“To the house. All our stuff is out there, and I figured Charlie could stay in here tonight.”
“Yeah. Yeah, the house would be good.”
He held his hand out for her and she took it, let him lead her out to the truck, down the roads to the houses.
“You still tired?” Grayson asked once he’d kicked his boots off.
She thought of laying with him and nodded, walking up to the loft so he would follow.
He laid down beside her, let her curl up to him like she always had. It was peaceful, with the quiet hum of the furnace and the woods outside. The sun had set on their drive, and the dim lights from the kitchen made everything a warm yellow.
Indy took a deep breath and moved her hand under Grayson’s hoodie to find his skin.
Y-O-U-C-A-N-G-O
Grayson was quiet for a moment.
“What?”
She traced it again, slower, but she didn’t get to finish. He sat up in the middle of it, turning to her with concern all over his face.
“You want me to go?”
She stared at the ceiling.
“Want isn’t really the right word. But you can go.”
His heartbeat picked up, and he moved into her eye line.
“What does that mean.”
“I really appreciate you being here. I do. But I’m gonna be okay. You don’t have to stay here just because I’m sad. You don’t have to stay for me.”
A punch to the gut would have hurt him less.
“Indy. Indy, look at me.”
She turned and found his eyes, and to her surprise, his were watery.
“You’re my only reason to stay. I want to stay.”
“Stop. Just stop, I heard you earlier, you don’t have to pretend like you want to be here.”
“What’re you talking about?”
Indy sat up on her elbows.
“Flights are cheap on Thursdays,” she said. Grayson’s heart dropped for a moment, and then the pieces came into place.
“Indy. Baby, that wasn’t what you think it was.”
“Then what was it Grayson, please enlighten me.”
Grayson took her hand and kissed her knuckles.
“That was Ethan and I trying to figure out how I can stay here. How I can stay here with you. Because I want to be here. I want to be with you, I always have. Ever since I met you I knew I was meant to be wherever you are. I never should have left, it was the dumbest shit I ever did. And I didn’t want to bring all this up, because I know emotions are fucked right now, with Beks and everything. But I want to be here with you, or I want you with me, or I want whatever it takes for us to be okay and together. If that’s something you still want.”
Her head was spinning.
“You still want me?”
He nodded.
“Never stopped.”
Indy took in her first deep breath in days.
“Oh.”
They sat in silence for a while. Grayson opened and closed his mouth a few times, thinking better of his words before he spoke them.
“It’s okay if you don’t know tonight. There’s too much going on right now, I don’t expect you to know how you feel about it right now,” he finally said, voice too loud in his excitement and nerves.
“Yeah. I need time to… think.”
“Yeah! Yeah, no that’s good. I want you to take your time with it, of course. And I can give you as much space as you need, you know, like, um, I can go sleep on the couch. If you want.”
Despite everything, Indy laughed.
“You don’t even fit on the couch.”
“I could make it work,” he said sheepishly.
“You’re fine. Just go to sleep, and I’ll… I’ll think about it.”
There was an excitement in his voice that she hadn’t heard in a long time - it snuck through even as he tried to hide it.
“Okay. Sounds good. Well, uh… goodnight.”
“Goodnight Gray.”
They stared at each other for a minute, unsure of what to do with all the new emotions that had come to light.
“We should probably lay down, if we’re gonna sleep,” Indy said.
“Right, yeah. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” she said again, watching him awkwardly pull back the covers and climb in fully clothed. She wanted to laugh at how awkward it was, as if they hadn’t been in each other’s arms every night since he’d been back. He kept his back to her, and she knew with her mind buzzing she wouldn’t be able to sleep.
She pulled her laptop out of the bag by the bed, fired up her hotspot and started to scroll through her feeds, passing mindless time and keeping herself busy until Grayson began to snore, rolling to his stomach. It was a sweet sound, and she couldn’t help but to reach over and move his covers up, her fingers brushing over his arm.
He stirred under her touch, grunting a bit as he half woke up, sitting up just enough to pull the yellow hoodie over his head and toss it off the bed.
“Whatcha doing,” he mumbled, reaching a blind hand out until he found skin, fingers landing on her leg under the covers. Indy smiled and moved her hand away from her keyboard, scratched lightly up and down his back, over his tattoo as a thought crossed her mind.
“Just emails. Almost done.”
“You okay?” He asked, voice muffled by the pillow.
“I’m okay. Sleep.”
“M’kay.”
He was snoring again momentarily, and once she was sure he was out she claimed her hand back, clicking quietly until she got to what she was looking for.
Her email from UCLA.
She scrolled down to the bottom, looked at the two links she had stared at so many times since it had arrived in her inbox.
Accept. Decline.
She moved her mouse and clicked once, and then she closed her laptop, put it on the nightstand and cuddled under the covers. Grayson huffed at her movements, reaching for her in the dark. She let him pull her closer, relishing in the feeling of being with him for another night.
#mixtape#ONLY ONE MORE TRACK GUYS#WHAT#WHATTTTT#then the epilogue#grayson dolan#grayson dolan fanfiction
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lover
pairing: jungkook x y/n
glimpse: jungkook has a crush and LOTS of vacant space on his ears upon seeing piercing artist!y/n, jin is TERRIFIED of needles and just needs to hold someone’s hand, jimin is a chatty receptionist that gets on jungkook’s nerves a whole ton, and tHen some smut :D
wordcount: 22k
notes: dedicated to jungkook n his pretty earrings because i would totally go through his hoops like what vitaly did in madagascar 3 :D // gif isn’t mine!!
(*´꒳`*)
jungkook is a flexible man
both literally and figuratively
he knows how to adjust bUT he also knows what he wants
there’s a handful of things he gets picky about
body wash, face wash, shampoo, perfume n aLL THAT GOOD HYGIENE STUFF
he’s not jared, 19
he ISN’T a chad that just picks out deodorant with the most aggressive names they could ever find the quickest in a shelf
when jungkook gets shoes (and sometimes splurges on them) he makes sure to get the new stock and atleast a half-inch allowance
because shoes shrink and get worn-in overtime and the condition that you wore them in first, wON’T remain the same
hard drives are touchy issues too
jungkook needs to be able to save and export his works without the processes of it crashing every thirty seconds thank u very much
if ur buying a hard drive that has less than a 1 TB storage, then wHY even get a hard drive dummy
he can make dollar-store paint work, trust him
but god crusty-ass brushes (whether they’re expensive or not) would be the absolute BANE of his existence
on-hand activities were given less frequently in uni because majority of them were done digitally but he would never forget that time
that time when he cracked at the project on the night that it was given and he decided to sleep fORGETTING to wash his brushes and by the time he woke up, they were are all crusty and stiff
he almost cried
okay so after all
maybe jungkook might be picky
hE CAN’T HELP IT
but this time he felt more reasonable in being picky because this is his roommate that we’re talking about!!!
r o o m m a t e
for possibly the whole three and a half years that he has left before he graduates and he just wants his to be a good one :((
honestly can you blame him
jungkook just has two requirements in his head
pLEASE he doesn’t want a roomie that has quick hands and is a kleptomaniac and would steal the wallet he always just has laying around
he wants to be able to leave his things in the most random places at PEACE
and second, he wants someone that’s atleast tolerable
he’s aware that not every pair of roommates mesh well together 10/10 times but the least he could hope for is that there’s somehow mutual agreement
which is why jungkook’s nervous because oh god what if he’s stuck with a klepto that’s gonna steal his laptop and he isn’t even dONE doing his assignment?????
graphic design and fashion design are in the same building and that just means he has a 50% chance of being paired with someone that knows what he’s doing and knows when to back off
... which is cool, maybe???
but tHen there’s also a 50% chance that he’s gonna be roomies with a fashion student and he’s not gonna lie because that sounds sO cool!!!!!
legitimately cool
he knows nothing about sewing clothes??? or like designing them in more than just a graphic designer-type of approach????
that would be so nice
what if his roomie (he’s about 98% sure) has a sewing machine and some embroidery thread and things and stuff????
what if his roomie suddenly thought that “oh my gOD jungkook since you’re my roommate and ur so cool and u have such nice body proportions,, lemme make u some clothes!!” ???
what then
what tHEN
and he’s the type to impress and even though that makes him look like an utter fool, jungkook really did wake up at TWO in the morning to get started for meeting his roomie by ten in the morning
just eight hours,,, cool,,, that’s cool
who wouldn’t like chocolate truffles right???
vERY EASY
melt some chocolate!! add some butter!! some cream!! a tiny pinch of salt because the recipe said so!! aND THEN YOU’RE DONE
no not really
he didn’t take into account that chill was a very vague term and so jungkook kept opening the fridge every ten minutes and the chocolate truffle blob hasn’t cHILLED!!!
that kinda sent him into panic because how is he supposed to sleep now
he got a large bowl he never really used and lmao this is like the first time he’s washing it
HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT HE HAD THIS BOWL UNTIL NOW
placed that smaller bowl inside of the bowl
and tHEN filled the remaining spaces with ice cubes and tHEN put it into the freezer
not his smartest decision ever because uh there’s some raw chicken and beef in that same freezer but that’s cool it’s cool
roomie wouldn’t even know the difference :D
what you know wouldn’t hurt you, right???
well not until the chocolate gets contaminated with the raw meat somehow wOOF ://
jungkook went to take a one hour nap and he’s decided to just check on the truffle blob when he’s woken up!!!
uHhhh
aha that turned into a fOUR-hour nap :))))
he’s kinda panicking because oh god he could’ve made so much more in that time period
the truffle blob dID chill but it’s kinda frozen now and that makes it a little less easy to try and scoop up and shape and put cocoa powder on it
no worries!! he has a spoon and insane strength!!!
jungkook bent the spoon with how hard he’s going at it bUT that’s okay!!! there are more spoons!!! it’s not the end of the world
he’s done with the chocolate truffles and all that’s left is to let them chill in the fridge and he could just pop them out anytime
it’s 6... and all he has done are chocolate truffles....
aha wild idea but wHAT IF HIS NEW ROOMIE DOESN’T LIKE CHOCOLATE
...
....
it’s 10:13 and yeah sure this roomie of his is a little bit late but jungkook doesn’t mind at all because that meant more time for him to prepare
aside from the chocolate truffles, he’s successfuly bought/made/modified:
ice cream sandwiches in every flavor he could find because what if they don’t like chocolate?? or wait what if vanilla’s too plain for them?? ok wHAT IF THEY LIKE STRAWBERRY??? is that matcha-
cup noodles,,, in beef, seafood, and spicy variations
gummy bears!!! half are just the original ones and the oTHER half is what he soaked in vodka because uHhH what if the roomie likes alcohol as much as he does??? or maybe they just like citric acid in bear form or mAYBE even both???
dalgona because what if they aren’t an iced tea person,,, or an orange juice person,,,,, jungkook totally understands!!! the entirety of his right arm may be significantly more ripped by the end of this
mozzarella sticks that he buys in bulk whenever he goes to the grocery and that jungkook popped into the oven hurriedly because wAIT WAIT what if they’re lactose intolerant,,,,
cereals,,, he has some cereals,,,, maybe they haven’T had breakfast yet and they wanna have cereal??? he has some milk too!!!
some ice cubes leftover if u wanna pop them into the cereal if they’re feeling a lil spicy
god jungkook just wants to be liked sO BAD and he’s such a people-pleaser that it’s exhausting :(((
this better work or else he will literally combust and eat boozy gummy bears until he’s silly drunk :(((
but tHEN the front door opened and uh jungkook remembers locking it always but
oh
oH
that’s his roommate!!!! holding a duplicate key already!!!!! with bags on tow aND WOW!!!!!!
this guy MUST be a fashion student
jungkook didn’t wear an apron and he honestly salutes anyone who does which is why there may be some bits of cocoa powder on his chest that he’s wiping off quickly
“hEY man!! i’m jungkook!! jeon jungkook!! come in, come iN!!! was the traffic bad or-...”
wait
hold on just a second
how sure is jungkook that this guy with a really handsome face and wide-ass shoulders that’s like the same size of the doorway, is hIS roommate???
bruh
what if this was just a random-ass dude that happened to have a duplicate key aND HE’S HERE TO ROB HIM OR SOMETHING
“woah hEY i’m jin!! kim seokjin!! lmao yeah i live two floors down aND then i have all these bags and i just wanted to take one trip in the elevator but then in the same time i cAN’T and-“
oh
oH jin definitely just said too much words huh
right off the bat jin is rEALLY setting an impression huh
he got a good look at jungkook and he could tell that he looks younger than him
or maybe that’s just kook’s bambi eyes assessing jin that’s standing parallel to him right now
or maybe it’s some of the cocoa powder on his gray shirt and jin might assume that he’s a baby because he’s spilled some
“oh yEAH YEAH i prepared uh like a housewaeming thing for you!! well i mean this isn’t a house and it’s not your house bUT it isn’t mine either but in a tECHNICAL sense it’s — yEAH do u want chocolate truffles or something.....”
“oh jungkook you shouldn’t have!!! if it’s worth anything, i made this beret for my roommate and well it’s yOu right??? and i kinda sewed my initials at the back to commemorate like a friendship??? or something???? i don’t know man it sounds sO lame and-...”
bro
brO
jin’s eating literally everything that jungkook’s prepared and he heard the mention of the alcoholic gummy bears and his eyes almost pOP out of their sockets
for a moment, kook was kinda terrified because oh god are you cAMPUS POLICE????
turns out that jin loves alcohol AND gummy bears and he’s never tried that combination before
it’s like they’ve been friends for their whole entire life and conversation was just so easy to slip into
“how did you kNOW i eat this exact brand of mozzarella sticks??? they’re so good and you could even buy them in this hUge-ass box!!”
“how did you know that this beret would fit my hEAD?? i literally thought my head was too big for berets and this is like thE perfect size!!”
jin casually asks what they should eat for dinner later that night and jungkook dOESN’T skip a beat saying what he wants and jin dOESN’T hesitate either in agreeing
lmao jungkook started calling jin hyung not even 48 hours upon meeting him
“jungkoOooOoK :D so as you know, i’m gonna have a makeshift booth for my project, right? and like since your my very nice and kind and handsome and tALENTED best friend :D i was wondering if you could make the brand design for me? the logo? the layout of what i’m gonna put? this and that? say yes please pls :D”
...
....
“you cook all the meals for a week.”
“i already-...”
“obviously you’re gonna take all the credit bUT somewhere in your booth, there’s gonna be a piece there that’s inspired by mE.”
“okay fine what-...”
“if you get the highest mark and you bETTER, you need to check out my cart because-“
“oKAY DEAL!!”
it’s a two-way street okay
that just goes to say how far the both of them are bonding
in technical terms, their courses are kinda similar
and it’s just fun too because jungkook gets along with jin and the other way around!!
“jin-hyung i need a fRESH new background for this layout do you have any silk fabric??”
“do you want it sleek or do you want it crumpled?”
“can i try both??”
“yeah lmao i don’t see why not :D”
jin’s a nice roommate and an even better friend and hyung to jungkook and he can’t be thankful enough
it’s his personal goal in life to be the reason for jin’s first strand of grey hair and every morning jungkook cHECKS
sometimes he won’t be discreet at all
like he’d tug at jin’s hair and it’s freshly dyed and jin’s mighty sensitive because oh god what if it was freshly bleached??? tHEN WHAT
or maybe he’d toss a froot loop to his hair and he’d go :D hyungie lemme get that for you :D
“jin can u pls make me a bomber jacket :((“
“are you gonna pay me??? no??? well then NO”
“how about a bandana can you make me one can you make me one pLEASE”
“every piece of fabric could be literally a bandana if u think about it kook”
“how about a shirt that says ‘dad’ in the front but at the back it’s appa from avatar embroidered at the back lmao”
“why would you oH OMG I SEE WHAT U DID THERE :)))))) ok that sounds cool i’m proud i’m actually gonna do that :))) wait let me make one for me too :))))”
it’s a support system
even until him and jin graduated, they are sTILL roomies because that means not only do you pay half of the rent, you’re also not alone!!!
jin’s older and he may not voice this enough bUT he relies alot on jungkook as much as jungkook relies on him
jungkook’s the bug killer
he’s in charge of killing everything that’s crawling and slimey and has atleast made jin shudder once
he even has designated slippers for swatting spiders!!!! he’s used things from cereal boxes to his mousepad just going hard at these insects that bother jin
jungkook also has a higher pain tolerance
and he has this experience with these kind of things
and jin’s just scared shitless bUT
“please kook i nEED you to come with me to get my ears pierced :(((“
“but you already have your ears pierced.”
and that’s true
but it was just a standard piercing in the lobe that even babies have
“no i’m talking about a hELIX piercing!!!”
“oh you aRE???”
jungkook’s attention is fully caught now and he’s stopped working on the commission he’s handling as of the moment and right into jin who’s looking panicked
“i thought you said that you didn’t want it because it would hurt?”
he’s a bit frazzled because he remembers jin swearing that he’d go to his grave earlier rather than get his hard cartilage pierced
“well i changed my mind and i think it’s gonna look good on me :)))”
that bit’s actually true because jin didn’t order like five clip-on earrings after much thinking that he did LOVE how it looked on him
he contemplated for a moment that what if he just wears these clip-ons for the rest of his life y’know
but clip-ons hurt more than actual piercing like he sWEARS the blood flow to his ear stopped because the clasp was too tight and to loosen it means to lose it forever
and besides that, he’s LITERALLY allergic to fAKE things like these
huh guess he has actual taste with or without the allergic reaction to fake metal
of cOurse he’s gonna go to jungkook for moral support because the younger one has more piercings than him
jungkook has four piercings in total!! those two standard lobe piercings that even babies have, a second lobe piercing on his left ear, and his newest one!! — a mid-helix piercing on his right!!
he’s very-well aware that jin needs moral support and he’s a really sTURDY rock for his hyung that is more on the easy to get spooked side
and as much as this fuels his ego, he’s really hesitant to come with him because he’s jUst busy y’know??? and his latest commission is for this big online brand and he’s known to deliver right on time
he’s halfway through but the second half is really just as crucial as the first half because uHhhh jungkook’s dedicated and he’s getting paid and this is one of his jobs and this sustains his living
“i don’t know hyung.,.,.. when do you want to get it done?”
“well i was hoping nOW :D”
it’s 8 in the morning
eIGHT in the morning and jin could immediately see the bafflement in jungkook’s face so he quickly explains why because he just wants this so bad
“wait wait it’s because so i don’t chicken out!! it’s like nOW OR NEVER!! and the more time i spend thinking about it, then the mORE time i spend thinking about it. but i really dO wanna get this piercing and i just-...”
“i haven’t even had breakfast yet :((((“
oh
right jungkook’s coming with jin alright
it’s the line he pulls off when he’s convinced and of COURSE it’s hinting at jin to buy him breakfast to make his time worthwhile
jungkook’s a friend but he’s also an entrepeneur hA :D
besides him freelancing and picking up projects that require his skills of graphic design and making layouts,,,
he also has a lil online shop!!! he puts his works on bags and sticker and stuff and he is aLWAYS up for commission no matter how ridiculous it is
one day it could be someone asking him to draw them sketch-style with hearts around their head
or the other day it could be making a batch of twenty stickers and a print in a canvas bag, and very specifically, did it require to say
he’s being dead serious
really
lmao jungkook can’t stop laughing while he was designing this
HI MY NAME IS YOONGI AND I HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROWWW
now at first he really didn’t knOW if the person that sent this commission was being serious because uH are you sure???
but then they sent in 50% of the fee and jungkook was immediately oh okay yea dude i’ll do this for you lol
he’s highly sure that this yoongi guy isn’t the one who commissioned him because wHY would you clown yourself like that??
that one’s for the books surely
now jungkook doesn’t know if seokjin always gets his way (spoiler alert: he does) but within an hour, he’s all clean and changed into new clothes and he’s nOW standing with jin right in front of this shop
this uh really nice-looking tattoo and piercing place that looks great from the outside and he has to hand that one over
“...,.,.. so have you ever been here before??”
......
“....,.,.. well nO actually but i read that it has gREAT reviews and the staff is also cool and the interior’s pleasing too so yEAH yeah let’s get it!!”
wait it does look pleasing
it’s not the most spacious shop in the world but the floor plan makes the shop look bigger than it actually is!!! and the granite tiles by the front look cLASSY too!!!!
kook lets his eyes wander to where the granite tiles stop and meet the wooden flooring and he just can’t help thinking in his degree y’know
graphic design just rates to sO many things in real life and he did not spend four years to try and maximize his knowledge in it as much as he could
oh they aLSO have a front desk??? that’s-
“hi welcome to hope ink sLASH vante studios!! walk-in, appointment, or are you just here to see me?”
what
the
fuck
is that a greeting
wAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A GREETING
jungkook’s trailing behind jin and he kinda scoffs at this dude in the front desk because what even
is that a part of the script
ok maybe jungkook just woke up in the wrong side of bed today bLAME HIM
jin, on the other hand, snorts at the greeting right away and it turns into a giggle and it pleasantly makes this receptionist do the same
the receptionist is this rEALLY fit guy with pink hair dressed in a white button-up and he looks pERKY AND CHATTY
a-and jungkook already hates him and he doesn’t know why bUT maybe it’s just because he isn’t amused whatsoever and he jus wants to come home immediately
oh right he even has that commission left to do and suddenly he’s feeling the time pressure
can they jUST speed this up
he’s here for moral support not for a chat with this pink-haired guy that doesn’t have a name tag and hOW can jungkook hate a guy that he doesn’t even know the name to ://
“walk-in?? no problem. you have six more people queued in front of you but not one of them has arrived sO yeah come with me!! what’s your name?? seokjin? jin??? okay come with me man!! lmao ur ᵍʳᵘᵐᵖʸ friend could come with too”
“i hEARD that.,..,”
“.,.,.. i know.”
jimin also finds jungkook irritating because he’s just being chirpy and this guy meets him for like two seconds and he’s already being a downer on his mood
he doesn’t even know his name!!!
although this jin guy is cool because obviously they r VIBING so hard
jimin’s leading the two of them to wherever jin’s gonna get his ear pierced and jungkook lags around behind to observe
this is a cool place!!!
to his left there’s a literal empty space with a rectangular podium in the middle of the area and it looks wEIRD ok
maybe a stall’s supposed to be there???
lol or maybe the tattoo artists do their tattoos there as if it’s a stage?????? oh god jungkook’s too fatigued for this he rEALLY needs to get glasses and get his eight hours in
to his right there’s some glass partitions with reclining chairs on them!!
and there’s some closed rooms to what jungkook can make out and he guesses that those are reserved for tattoos, maybe???
anyways he’s reading too much into this
he’s only moral support for a customer aND he’s not even gonna get anything done!!!
“you could just sit on this chair right here....,. lol and uh what’s his name.,.,. jungkook?? hmmm i’ll bring out a stool for you i guess...,.”
there are PLENTY of empty reclining chairs here why can’t jungkook just sit there????
jimin’s just being playful getting on jungkook’s nerves because he hasn’t been able to do that in a while with customers,,, because obviously they’re customers,,, and he doesn’t wanna jeopardize the shop rIGHT
“wait here, jin. we have two piercing artists in and i’m just gonna call them and y’know what you could just pICK who you want or like just pick the one who gets to your first!!”
okay
jimin’s a receptionist and he is fAIRLY new to this job but not to the other people working here
the usual script was to be formal and lead them to the artist or to the waiting area and formal just sounded SO boring
blame him for not being an uptight senior citizen
“one customer for an ear piercing!!! :D”
jimin’s head pops into hobi’s room where practically all of you are gathered when there’s no customers because the airconditioning is just sPLENDID
taehyung’s on his switch while he’s laid on your lap and you’re just on your phone from having scrolled in the same feed for like five times
“which one?”
you and tae ask at the same time and that’s when jimin kinda giggles and scratches at his nape as he stands around sheepishly
aha :D
“that’s the thing though i jUST told him to pick which one gets to do his piercing or... whatever....”
taehyung groans at that because oh god it was hobi who hired jimin and he’s told him off to nOt do that for a couple of times and here he is giggling like this isn’t the 35th time he’s put you and taehyung in this position and making the customer pick
“i’ll do it lmao don’t worry tae :))”
about time you do some actual work anyway
it’s not even lunchtime but you do wanna feel as if you’re productive because watching taehyung play animal crossing fRUSTRATES YOU
he whines a thank you because even though that meant more time for him to play, that also meant you deserting him and just have his head hit the cushions instead of your thighs :((
jimin’s walking with you as he leads you back to jin and there’s aLways a skip to his step and that is ur goal
ur goal is to be as happy as jimin in life because look at him!!!!
pink hair and cozy snug sweaters and dangling earrings and it doesn’t take much for him to laugh!!! what a trooper
the bell chimes and that’s his cue to jog over back to his spot and he just waves you over to go along like you cOULD walk over there by yourself
no problem!!! :D
uh-oh
it’s a problem
it’s really a problem
it’s a problem when the customer sat on the chair is so hot and cute and charming and hANDSOME
if angels do exist tHEN GOD HE MUST BE ONE
he looks so !!!!
WOW
he is actually so breathtaking are you sURE HE’S ACTUALLY REAL????
he has this long-ish hair that reminds you of taehyung’s but the only difference was that tae has a perm aND THIS GUY DOESN’T
and he has this cUTE nose that you wanna boop so bad and u saw him at the exact time that he was cheesing and he has this mole under his lip!!!!
ALSO
THE WAY HE’S SAT ON THE CHAIR
his arms are holding him up and he’s relaxed and oMG LOOK HIS EARRINGS ARE SO CUTE
they look heavy n they’re very flashy silver but oh god he could really really pull them off
you want those earrings aND YOU WANT THIS GUY
that’s cool y/n just breathe :D keep your cool :D you’re jUST gonna be stabbing his ears with some needles that’s all :D
“hi!! i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today!! what’s your name?”
jungkook’s beyond amused at jin who’s sitting on the chair at the other stall because lol he is so scared that he looks on the verge of crying
bUT he does feel sorry because no jin!!! the pain is just vERY quick and you’ll be done in no time!!
he wants to go to where jin’s at and actually sit on the stool that jimin provided for him but lmao no maybe later
he’s using it as a foot rest because he is really comfortable in this position and he’d rather not move until someone calls him out or something :))
or maybe when jin needs a hand to hold but like the piercing artist isn’t here yet so he has some time to lounge around hehe
“hyungie!!”
jungkook tries calling out just to take jin’s attention away from hyping himself about the pAIN he thinks he’s gonna be in
“what what?? whAt????”
“want me to deck the one who’s gonna be piercing you?? :D”
yAYYYYY jungkook’s got him to laugh!!
i mean he’s not actually gonna deck the piercing artist because uh that’s a lawsuit and second what the fUCk for
but it’s just this humor that jin thoroughly enjoys, especially now when he looks so near to tears
he gets teased anyway for looking out for jin even though he’s the younger of the friendship duo so why not joke about owning up to it??
“yA i’m serious!! i took up boxing for awhile and excuse you — my dad made me take up taekwondo when i was a kid!!”
“what are you gonna do? put the artist in a headlock??”
“...,.,. jin that’s mma,,..,.”
“lol you’re probably gonna be charged for traveling before you could land that kick”
“.,..,., jin that’s basketball and-..,..”
“maybe you could score a goal or something but jungkook that’s gonna be sO rare for you”
“.,.,. jin are you-...”
oh
OH
jungkook has probably never seen anyone so angelic he’s mid-laugh in and he sees you walking towards him and gOD ARE YOU REAL
maybe this isn’t a simulation you’re just that Perfect with the capital P :(((
“hi!! i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today!! what’s your name?”
oh god okay so this is where it goes down
“h-hi i’m jungkook!! i’m uH the friend of the one you’re gonna pierce today!!”
oh
you just wanna p-word right now
p for perish
you can nOT be embarrassed more
aha you’re just gonna detach from this situation as fast as possible because oh god you really looked like a FOOL in front of this really handsome guy :((
“hI i’m y/n and i assume you’re the one who’s gonna get pierced??”
if this guy isn’t it (and hE MUST be) then that means you’ve officially embarrassed yourself twice to tWO handsome men
the third time for yourself, the fourth for jimin who could be seeing this now, the fifth for maybe this random good ghost taehyung swears lingers by here, the sixth for-
“yEAH I’M JIN!!!! that’s me uh i’m sorry for jungkook,, jimin told him to sit by the stool and he didn’t wANt to and now we know wHY he should be sitting on the stool instead :D”
cue jungkook whose head is hung low while he’s sitting on the stool near you because god he also made a clown out of himself
it’s cool cool cool cool cool
“what piercing are you gonna get today? :))”
“mid-helix thank u vERY much :))”
jin’s pointing at his right ear and holding up his finger and that’s not exactly the mid-helix is but it’s ok ur gonna correct him later
he looks very nervous
you could literally see his fingers trembling and you just feel so sorry for him
jungkook can see that VERY clearly and so he’s just patting jin’s knee and you glance at him briefly and he’s looking RIGHT at you ahem
you hand jin a mirror and he yelps a bit when you lift your hand but you were jUST gonna wear gloves
kook doesn’t wanna laugh but in the same time he wants to laugh
“bro calm down y/n’s just putting on gloves!!!”
AND EVEN HIS VOICE SOUNDS GOOD :(((
you can’t shake off how how good your name rolled off from jungkook’s tongue and if ur being honest u feel kinda jittery
aha that’s my name :D omg what’s ur last name jungkook??? what a coincidence that’s gonna be mY last name too :D
chile
u nEED to calm down because otherwise you’d be as nervous as jin right now and you’re the one who’s gonna pierce him
lmao and you also met jungkook for the first time today so that’s a factor too you guess
“i’m just gonna be marking, okay?? does that look good to you?”
he calms down at that and takes a good look in the mirror and oOh that does look good!!!!
jin literally looks like he’s gonna faint
:O
“okay i only bust this out for a few customers,.,. and since you’re special and you deserve it and you look like you need it.,..”
that’s true tho
you have jin and jungkook’s attention fully and they’re peering at whatever you’re doing
you have this special box here in your cart and you’re hoping that you still have one of em aND
slime
it’s slime
bRAND-NEW SLIME
it’s the smooth matte type of slime and there’s a packet of like styrofoam beads you could mix into it!!!
technically this isn’t part of the payment but it’s ok yOU BOUGHT THIS YOURSELF!!!!!
specifically for the customers that you get that are terrified of needles or they’re so nervous and they don’t have anyone accompanying them
:O
jin’s very much speechless
:D
he takes the lil tub from you very excitedly and you’re just about to get the wipe and-
“here jungkook, you look like you wanted it too :))”
jungkook’s doe eyes grow mUCH bigger as you plop one on his lap and thank god because he would’ve wrestled with jin to have it
yo if he gets to marry you then he has to squeeze in you giving him slime at the first meeting into his vows somehow :’’’)
“y’know, i started working here about half a year ago!! i’m friends with the owners,” okay this bit is another one of your calming tricks
you’re pretending to get some stuff fixed and some things gathered but in reality,,, it takes about like ten seconds max to gather what you actually need
jin looks like he’s in the road to calming down anyways
“bUT i got my piercing license, i wanna say, a year and a half ago?? lmao funny story but i took training and certification out of a dARE and i took it with my uhhh friend :))”
wait what now
jin kinda looks concerned but in the same time he doesn’t because he’s in Zen mode rn
although you assure him that you DO take this very seriously and you’re fully certified and you passed through all the stages you needed to go through
“idk what jimin told you but i’m pretty sure he said something long huh”
“he said sLASH out loud.,.,”
“okay sO hobi, is the one who owns this shop!! it’s originally hope ink but tHEN taehyung owns another shop called vante studios and then rent’s expensive, right?”
“TOTALLY”
“I KNOW RIGHT????”
jin and jungkook can fully agree
jin’s been wanting to open a shop for sO long and jungkook’s been wanting to open a physical store for all his crafts but rent and decent space!!!! they r bitches
“they just decided to merge like two years ago!!! and it was for the better too!!! taehyung was my friend ever since uni and tHEN my course was graphic design-“
jungkook’s heart just flatlined jin was about to interject that oH kook here is also but nO JUNGKOOK BEATS HIM TO THAT
he squirms in his seat and even raises up his hand very eagerly and you look kinda alarmed
“me too me too!!!! i also studied graphic design!!!!”
“that’s sO COOL!!”
jin is enjoying this very much right now
if the two of you get married then he’s gotta have to add the they were vibing in the first meeting part to his best man speech
if he isn’t the best man then WHY is jungkook gonna get married in the first place :///
“i used to work at this company and boy was i overworked!! like i have so many things piled up but i just also don’t wanna half-ass the projects just to get through them quickly-“
“eXACTLY-“
“and so i quit :D”
that is quite the climax to your building story
that was very abrupt and frankly jin can’t get enough
which is perfect!!
because as he’s frustratedly asking you more questions while his hands blindly knead the slime and at one point he even stops, you’re already prepping up what you need
jungkook was also in the verge of frustration because you can’t just end it there :((
but then in his peripheral vision he could see what you were getting and it was a really good thing you already asked jin about his preferences and your professional opinion about this piercing
(if you were to ask him that now instead of earlier, it would be BACK to square one and you’d have to fish for another story in your head)
oh wow ur really good at this huh
kook has nothing but admiration and mad respect for you :3
he does his part on chatting up jin more and you internally praise him for that because look at that!!!! he knows what you’re doing!!!
you gesture for him to hold jin’s hands because you wouldn’t want to be distracted or have this hurt more than it should
piercings should be done in a quick and precise manner with no room for error on the artist’s end
and as for the customer, they literally need to stay still because hypertrophic scarring is a thing and you don’t want them to have that
jin’s story high is about to end because oH you’re standing near to him as he’s sat down and he’s starting to shut up because oh god oh god don’t look at the needle don’t look at the tHAT’S A BIG NEEDLE
“deep breath in for me, alright?”
you may have broken him and you haven’t even started yet
“jin? hmm? y’here with me?”
you found that saying your customer’s name helps to ease them and bring them down a bit and it works just as well with him
“do it with me and jungkook, okay?”
kook’s alert at that and you don’t even have to nudge him to do this with you
he even does it exaggeratedly to try and ease jin in the slightest and he even has him going along with him
ᵗʰʷᵒᵒᵖ
“jIN YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB!!! :D”
:O
omg jin can’t believe it either
“iT’S OVER??”
well not technically yet because you have to put the earring in but the worst part was already over!!
you had to still jin for a second because he kept laughing and therefore he’s trembling just a tiny bit so you have to grip on his shoulders-
oh they’re wide wide
maybe if you hold them for a little longer you could envision how wide the doorframe is to the
“aHEM ʲᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ’ˢ ᵉᵃʳʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”
lol jungkook really isn’t as sly as he think he is you finally put the earring in and hand jin his mirror back and he’s gushing
from how pretty it is
sure his ear is red as fUck but even if it’s not fading out yet, it still looks so cute and he feels no ounce of regret whatsoever
he did a helix piercing it’s ok he’s SURE he could tackle on the world rn you’re just cleaning up the tiny bit of blood and jin doesn’t even notice
“if that’s all, i need to talk to you about aftercare!! okay so-“
no no no
wAIT jungkook forgot that piercing sessions lasted this quick he can’t have that
he’s only been with you for like tEN minutes maximum and no no he’s not taking that this is TOO quick
“NO UH ACTUALLY I-“
jin’s taken aback because why are u being so loud for
jimin’s ears even perk up at that and if he’s being honest, he even jumped up a little because wHY is jungkook like that
you’re alarmed too because uH wait did you do something wrong??? oh god is it-
“i also want a piercing...”
ok listen you were actually expecting to do more piercings on jin because normally people don’t come here for a single one bUT jin just wanted one
and well jungkook’s cute and kinda and nice and you feel so weird having only met him for like ten minutes and u hate how good and quick you are at your job :(((
because that means less time to interact with jungkook
“... done by you.”
you’re pretty sure you could ascend to heaven right here right now
:D
“okay yEAH no problem!!! i’ll uh,, i’ll just get set up and i could talk to the both of you about aftercare after i pierce your ears aha :D”
you toss the gloves quickly to the bin
you’re making sure to wash your hands eXTRA clean and extra slow so you could be thorough :)))
jungkook practically pushed jin out of the chair with your back turned to them because Y/N SAID IT’S MY TURN :P
now he knows he said that he only came here for moral support but maybe getting a few more piercings done by someone he may already have a crush on after two seconds, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, right??
he always wanted more piercings anyway
he didn’t think for it to have them now but he kNOWS he definitely wants them now
“what’re you thinking about??”
wait no he didn’t prepare for this gOD are you seeing right through him
and the fact that he has a pathetic lil crush on you
“well aCTUALLY that’s aha quite a hard question to ask because uhm yOU SEE-“
that’s IT jungkook is now the fool and he should be-
“the piercings that you’re gonna get, koo.”
not only do you look calm and collected
but you also called him KOO and jungkook now wants to change his name in his birth certificate because fUCK jungkook whoever that bitch is
hIS NAME IS KOO NOW!!!!
“y-yeah that’s what i’m trying to get at!!” he’s scratching the back of his head and tries to suppress the sheepish smile that’s just widening as the time ticks by
“dealer’s choice :))”
“d-dealer’s choice???”
this is not the first time that a customer gave you the reins to do what you please because they trust you enough to do so
but jungkook giving you that decision with no hesitation at all and he’s all giddy sitting on his chair staring right back at you.,...,
whoosh
speechless luv speechless
jin is too because he’s partly listening and partly taking pictures of his ear and his side profile so he’s just mumbling off to the side smh now these two are gonna play poker now??
“i uh personally think that both your sides are good sides and it’s true sO i was thinking of a second lobe and third lobe on your right ear!!”
oh no not you confessing that he looks immaculate on the first meeting :((
yIKES jungkook’s just blushing profusely as he nods along with his lips pursed because if they aren’t then he will sqUEAL
“because it’s gonna fit you just nicely and you already have this mid-helix on your right!! and by the looks of it, it’s jUST freshly-healed and i don’t wanna hurt you or anything with another cartilage instantly and !!!! is that okay with you?”
he is okay
definitely MORE than okay
somewhere along the lines when you were disinfecting his ear, taehyung’s strolling out because what’s taking you so long??
jimin only said that it was just for one customer and like a single helix piercing and that doesn’t take long at all
he wants someone to watch him play animal crossing because who eLSE is gonna get frustrated with him (and therefore motivate him to do better) playing it besides you
“there you are!! wHAT’S — oHhh do you need me to take over for you?”
tae cares for you very much
sometimes a little too much
but all in good reason!!!!
the moment you offered him a sip of your iced coffee you bought from the convenience store, he automatically knew that he wanted to protect you from the wORLD
if only you didn’t look at each other as really really close friends, 10/10 the two of you would probably be a couple now lmao
he always asks this question in that tone that sounds intimidating because
if his voice is deep he makes it even deeper bc that would scare off some people
some people being the occasional group of frat guys that come
here to get pierced and they’re all lining up for YOU and not for taehyung
they r small-minded
not to mention creeps
and they’re trying to smooth-talk their way to you and you aren’t having it
and sO IS TAEHYUNG
and jimin
and hobi
and even the stray cat jimin lets in the shop from time to time because lil chimmy looks like he’s gonna claw this dude’s nose right OUT
(( this is why jimin’s scolded for giving the customer the choice when the scenario’s unnecessary))
lol taehyung took over for you and he stared down all these frat guys and got them done quickly and u know what he may or may not made it hurt aNYWAYS
jungkook isn’t that type though
you tHINK
you’d hate for him to receive taehyung’s sternness and so you’re quick to wave off tae with a smile
kook is kinda scared because uhhhh is this your boyfriend and uhhhh do you know how to patch me up because he looks like he’s about to wHOOP my ass :((
“no need, tae!!” his stance relaxes at that but he’s still wary, a knowing smile on your lips as you face jungkook who’s shying away from taehyung’s stare
“jungkook, this is taehyung — the one i was talking to you about!! my friend aND one of the two owners of this shop :D”
“heymannicetomeetyouimjungkook”
atleast tae shakes his hand back so that’s good in hindsight
he isn’t nervous about the piercing but he IS nervous with how jimin and taehyung are eyeing him because he’s deduced that they’re your friends and they think somEthing must be going on
pls he’s only met you now :((
but he wishes he’s met you sooner
you’re marking down on his ear and he catches a whiff of your perfume and it’s safe to say that he may be wHIPPED already
although tae caught him doing that and now jungkook’s just pretending to sniffle from a cold
even goes the extra mile to tell jin outloud that they should get vicks candies after this
he is not slick at A L L oh my god he does not have any game whatsoever and it makes taehyung laugh to himself for a moment because oh god
he’s seen frat boys get their rip-off calvin klein knickers in a twist but he hasn’t seen a customer like jungkook that has a cRUSH on you point-blank
oh ok :)))
jungkook sees a mischievous smile on taehyung’s face that’s directed for him and he does not like it at all
“something tells me that i don’t need to distract you with a chat like i did with your friend, hm?”
he hears you mumble under your breath when you lean in and he stifles a giggle at that because n-o he isn’t a scaredy cat like jin is
however
for this occasion he wishes that he has a weak heart because there’s absolutely NOTHING he wouldn’t give just to have that Jin Treatment
jungkook eagerly nods his head when you ask him if you’re ready and taehyung nearly doubles over in laughter because he didn’t know that this guy was tHIS desperate ok
ᵗʰʷᵒᵒᵖ
“good job kook!!!! :D”
hehehe
he’s been told that atleast a hundred times before but coming from you??
he could ascend to heaven because it just makes him blush so mUCH and every miniscule thing u do or say to him?? enough for him to set himself on fire
that’s right :D i did a good job :D say that again pls :D
there’s just one more piercing left to do and he barely flinches
merely blinks and before he knows it,,,,
he’s done
like actually done this time
:((
taehyung pats him on the back because he’s there to brief him and jin with the aftercare
why can’t yOu do it????
oh that’s right jimin YELLED for you all across the shop so he could beckon you over to the front desk
jungkook’s pouting the whole time
ok yes i’ll disinfect this twice a day :((
ok yes sir i will go here if i feel like there’s something wrong with my piercing or if it’s showing any signs of allergies or infection
wait did u say i could go here..,.,,.
anyways he’s very gutted to know that he has to leave because he did come here in the first place to support jin
and here he is with two fresh piercings and blushing cheeks,,
just plain-out wondering when he could see you again
or probably the 70% chance that he’ll never do
he’s just standing behind you as you converse with jimin and while jin’s by the counter to pay for himself and jungkook (which then turned out that taehyung gave him a 50% discount overall because it’s like yO man i appreciate you and u feel like my hyung thank you) and he must look like an utter fool
jungkook has never been this nervous before
he’s been told that he visually looks intimidating as fUck but it all breaks when he smiles or giggles and basically stops scowling
jin teases him every single time whenever he wears these big romper stompers as he calls them and he has to say every time that nO he is not an e-boy :(((
he’s tucking his hands in his pockets because oh god oh god jimin’s giving him a look and then that prompts you to look at what he’s looking and he’s not prepared yet oKAY
he has no lines and no direction and-
“y/NNNNN aha!!”
lol he’s cute
it seems like your nervous jitters were passed to him because you very quickly got over them by distracting yourself
you know mAYBE you just find jungkook attractive and you don’t have a crush on him
that thing exists
he’s saying your name like it’s the eighth wonder of the world and honestly he feels like it is
“can i have the number?”
he asks upright and fuck that sounded so straightforward and too quick because if it wasn’t stressed enough, he just met you today!! t o d a y he doesn’t know at all that his voice sounded much like a squeal
or the fact that jin’s practically gAWKING at what jungkook just did but at the same time he looks like he’s a proud dad!!
or that jimin’s just snickering at the back and shaking his head at jungkook while clicking his tongue because lmao he knEw that this guy had a thing for you
he just didn’t know that he’d advance to you this painfully and awkwardly
jimin’s had a lot of awkward interactions with customers but nOT to this point that he looks like he’s gonna pass out
taehyung’s cupping his hand over his mouth because oof that wasn’t as smooth and jungkook thinks it is
it’s like waterslides but there’s not enough water in it so for the first half it’s all smooth but then at the second half it’s just dried out
and your back’s just skidding and hurting and you have to manually push yourself down the slide and now EVERYONE in the pool’s now looking at you awkwardly and then u decided that you want to sink into a blackhole
aha tae wonders who got that experience :D certainly not him :D
“o-oh the number for the shop i mean!!! piercings and stuff like that!!! a cALLING CARD IS WHAT I MEANT”
okay now jungkook reeled too far in
jin’s massaging his temples because the second-hand embarrassment is too much and he wants to make it clear that he is not affiliated with jeon jungkook OR whatever his name is
it’s like casting your fishing line to the water and you just feel this slight bite (but it’s probably just your wrist snapping) and all of a sudden you feel like it’s the biggest catch eVER in history
you’re wondering on the down-low of uhhhhhh lol why is it so light and it’s like i kNOW i’m powerful but why is it too easy for me
then turns out that it’s just a random piece of seaweed
lol definitely NOT jin :D of course not :D
you’re a bit bummed because honestly you really thought that jungkook would ask for your number
although you could just give it to him but you’re not tHAT daring on the first meeting
“calling card yeah sure :)))”
you outstretch your hand because the stack of calling cards are literally just on jimin’s desk and jungkook also failed to account for that
you hand it to him and jungkook’s just blinking rapidly because oH,,,, landline,,,, o-oh you really did just give him what he ASKED for
here’s the catch
jungkook’s a big dummy
HE MISSES YOU OKAY
it’s been a solid week ever since he and jin got piercings done
jin’s beyond happy with his piercing and he looks at himself in every reflective surface every single time because he’s just in LOVE with the new addition
he’s already dreaming of his next one and what earring he’d put in once this one’s all healed
doesn’t help that jin keeps mentioning you every single time either
or the fact that he is stiLL playing with the slime you’ve given him and kook’s conflicted whether he wants to steal it or throw it out of the window his piercings are all good :( he can peacefully sleep on his side now :(
normally that would be a good thing but now jungkook’s wondering if it’s wrong to hope that atleast there may be sOMETHING WRONG with it :(((
just so he could drop by the shop
speaking of the shop
he found the instagram account :D
not necessarily found because well the handle was in the calling card
ANYWAY
there’s a big following for it!!
he assumes that these tattoos are done by the hope guy and they look pretty awesome
there’s the piercings too!!!
that’s jin’s ear!! tHAT’S JUNGKOOK’S EAR!! :D
why is he so happy
he has no idea on which one of you runs this account and he’s a lil shit.,... that’s why he won’t slide into the shOp’s dms in hopes that you’re the one running it
what if he sends a cute message of “hey i miss u” and it turns out that it’s jIMIN who’s in charge of the acc
that’s a big L for kook
if jimin were to picture that situation, he would block and clown jungkook for life
he’s scrolled far enough to see a picture that isn’t of ink and reddened ears
it’s a picture of the staff!!!
you’re standing brightly in the middle with your arms around taehyung and *grunt* jimin while you’re the embodiment of :D
and jungkook’s smiling to himself in the dark because uh it might be late in the morning when he’s doing this
now there’s TWO other guys and he knows that one of them mUst be hoseok but he’s not exactly sure which one of these dudes because he doesn’t know what hobi looks like
he’s now on a roll because the other handles are tagged :D and well :D
jungkook isn’t a creepy guy ok
he’s just genuinely curious about you and he misses yOU who he’s only met for like less than an hour who was really gentle with him even if u poked a needle to his ear otherwise
now you’re not really thAt uptight with your feed because in your humble opinion
ahem
pictures with the same aggressively saturated/unsaturated filters going on and on are kinda very annoying for you because now every picture looks like the other and what’s the pOINT
there’s multiple pictures of the guys there!!!
taehyung looking sophisticated and intimidating and sOft at the same time that jungkook feels smol
ok ok maybe he should level his wardrobe game up a little bit
jimin looking very smiley and poised and kook huffs because he’s not the oNLY one who could pull off a cardigan smh ://
that’s IT he’s going to jin the first thing in the (normal waking hours of) morning and requesting (kINDA DEMANDING) that jin makes him a cardigan please
oh so that’s hoseok
he looks intimidating-ish and in the pictures he looks stOic but there is this one picture tho that he’s smiling and that makes jungkook smile too finally there’s you!!!
most pictures of you are taken either by a really nice camera OR a grainy film camera one
taehyung takes your pictures with his expensive-ass dslr aND his film cam and there’s just something about it that mwah 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒻’𝓈 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈
you don’t look ugly in them and u don’t hate the way you look in them and it’s just!!! wow!!! taehyung baby please develop these right nOW
jungkook’s sighed wistfully atleast twenty times now
damn he just wants to see you again is that tOO much to ask for he doesn’t know what time at all he goes to sleep but he knows for sure that he’s awake now
like awake AWAKE normally, jin just lets jungkook laze around and sleep away because he
too can attest to the fact that the both of them need sleep so much he only wakes him up when jungkook tells him the night before to wake him up at this certain time at aLL costs
..,... oh you mean *all* costs .,..,.
so far jin really enjoys all the things he’s came up with
he’s tried spraying jungkook with the same bottle that he uses for the plants repetitively until he wakes up
oooooh he’s also tried piling on froot loops on jungkook’s nose (his record’s twelve!!!) until the smell made jungkook sniff and thEn sneeze
you know that scene in how i met your mother when robin was drunk asleep then a baby wakes hEr up by crying then she just wakes up,,, dazed n confused,,, and goes to comforting the baby and turns out that it’s a sTRANGER’S baby??? yeah that one
jin made this alpaca plushie and it looks like him with the gentle smile and he named it RJ because what a cutie :((( you shall now be named RJ
and sO what he did was play a random crying baby loop on his phone and bURST into jungkook’s room
“jungkook the baby the baby’s cRYING”
and jungkook’s all groggy but then he yawns and stands up
“aisH ‘mkay heYYY bud calm down, hmm?? i’m-“
wait hOLD UP
jin still has that video on his phone to this day,, of jungkook cradling and even patting the back of a plushie with the hush noises,,,, until he eventually realizes that he is not the father
and most certainly that this is nOT a baby
but the thing is
jungkook didn’t ask jin to wake him up
his projects this week have all been completed last night
what is perhaps something so important this morning that jin is literally sHAKING him awake to the point that jungkook’s ducking underneath his hands because he thought it was an earthquake????
“you know? you know how we talk about us collaborating aLL the time?? the endless opportunities???? how you knOw i’ve been literally figuring this out in the majority of my spare time and-...”
jin’s talking so fast and that wakes up jungkook because whew slow down he is at the capacity of turbo the garden snail pre-nitrous oxide
“yeah sure online shops are cool!! we bOTH have our own!!! we work two jobs!! but we both know that we like it better oUR way right???”
no printer just fax
maybe it’s the stubbornness in jungkook but he just doesn’t like it when someone’s breathing down on his neck and making demands profusely even if that is what a job entails lol
jungkook’s just nodding because he feels that whatever jin has to say is important with how quick he’s talking and how big his eyes are
“what if i told you — jungkook are you rEADY to hear this-“
“yeah yeah whAt is it??”
“i mean it are you pREPARED to hear-“
“what wHAT??? now you’re just making me antsy!!”
jin’s trying to calm himself by pursing his lips and even his finger that’s raised is trembling
“what if i told you that i earned us an excellent aND affordable spot at a famous shop,,, the perfect placement and i know the owners and we could go there, right now, to finish settling and start setting?”
...
....
.....
“jin are you fucking sHITTING ME???”
oh my god
jungkook’s springing out of bed and is just jumping up and down with jin out of sheer joy because oMG
they’ve both wanted this for so long and kook feels like he is actually about to cry
“you wanna know something???”
“of cOURSE i wanna know something!!”
“hope ink?? vante studios?? remember when we got our ears pierced by y/n?? do you remember that platform thingy???”
yes yes i remember get to ur point jin
“i was so curious with it that i texted taehyung at 11 in the evening last night and i didn’t kNOW that he would reply,,, turns out that it was a space for rent and obviously i was like wHAT DID YOU JUST SAY???”
oh my god oh my god is this what jungkook thinks it is
“and then this morning, he gave me hoseok’s number and he said that we could head to the shop and discuss terms!!! he sounded sO excited too!!”
wait
does this mean
does this mean that he gets to see you again???
:O
“you’re telling me that i get to see y/N??”
you don’t know what the commotion is about
you’re a lil bit disoriented coming into the shop because you and jimin
went out for shots the night prior
you regret challenging him to a dare
now said jimin is here surprisingly early,, absolutely hammered because oh god he regrets taking you up for your dare
he thinks he’s being sly with his sunglasses on but he is positively wrong <3
you had to do a double-take because this was just weird
the shop should be open by now but the sign says that it’s closed
and something in the air feels weird and somehow..,. baby powder fresh??
hobi and tae are sitting on the waiting area discussing some things and they keep giggling every few seconds
“jimin what’s going on??”
you’re nudging him to move from his seat but he refused to yield so now ½ of your buttcheeks is sitting on his chair
“bro i don’t know aNYTHING”
thing is, yOU’RE the one who takes care of him when he’s drunk and forces him to drink water so he wouldn’t be as wrecked the next day
“shouldn’t receptionists know the gossip??”
“shouldn’t yOU be talking a little quieter??”
lol ok go off mr. jimin the receptionist
he’s already apologized for his quips and you know by now that whenever he’s grumpy and this rekt, he’s a bit more catty and has sensitive ears so now the two of you are just talking in whispers and jimin has his head rested on your shoulder :((
“i think someone’s finally renting the stage”
“really??”
you and jimin just call it “the stage” because the platform at the shop just looks so ominous and empty,, even if jimin doodles something on a sticky note and puts it at the center of the stage
hobi was the one who wanted it to be there!!!
right when he and tae decided to merge, he wanted a bigger space to accommodate this stage for future tenants
it’s a good business opportunity and easily profitable!!!
although no one’s rented it
maybe now’s the time!!!
jimin loves making assumptions lmao
his mind,,,, wow jimin’s mind just perplexes you
“i think it would be a waffle stand!!”
“jimin… why would someone put in a waffle stall… in a tattoo shop..,.,.”
“honestly why nOt?? some clients get tattooed for what, like five hours?? let’s say they’re hungry. do you tHink they’d bring a lunchbox with them??”
“you’re right.,..,. you’re absolutely right.”
before you and jimin could condense the options furthermore though, tae and hobi are already walking towards the two of you that are still whispering
they’re gonna announce something!!!!
tae’s trying to keep it together as hobi’s trailing it out with his speech and he’s taking tOO long
“someone’s gonna be renting out the stage!!!!”
he basically squeals and you and jimin nod to each other aha
he was aiming for perhaps a bIGGER reaction
“oh lmao we already guessed it ten minutes ago”
“but do you knOw what’s gonna be there??”
jimin immediately raises his hand begging for hobi to call him on to answer as he’s violently flailing around
“you know??? what is it then???”
“waffle stand :D”
the outright cackle hobi lets out is enough to send you meanwhile jimin’s pouting,, still confused before you urge him to take a seat
the two of them won’t tell you at all and then agreed to just keep it as a surprise until the tenants come
jimin’s literally at the edge of his seat as he lets you take ¾ of the chair because nOw he’s excited
the door chimes and you stand up at lightning pace that you forget jimin’s sTILL sitting there lmao
well he’s sitting.,.. just on the floor
you’re hurrying to pick him up and the moment you drag him up with you, you feel like yOU’RE the one who’s gonna fall sheesh
your knees are bUckling
“jungkook!!!!!”
jungkook’s happily waving at you and he forgets that the two of you aren’t close because he’s about to make his way to hug you
it looks like you’re the only who’s in shock
it’s starting to sink on why jungkook and jin are here and you immediately freak the moment it clicks in your head
“oh my god did something happen with your piercings?? let me-“
you’re in panic mode and you’re walking so fast towards jin and kook stops you before your heart could even explode
“no nO!! don’t worry!! didn’t they tell you?”
“tell me what??”
taehyung and hobi are grinning so hard and it’s only a matter of seconds before tae has his arm around your shoulder as he gestures to them
“they’re the tenants!!”
oh
OH
DOES THIS MEAN-
:O
“hihi nice to see you again, y/n!! look at my piercing it’s healing sO quickly!!”
jin is the first to put you in an embrace and you squeal when he does because omg he is a furnace
you’re pointing at his ear excitedly and he even babbles on how he wants more now and you instantly add on to that conversation
jungkook’s a bit uHhh because he wanted to greet and hug you fIRST!!
although he does get his turn because jin turns his attention to hobi who he’s excited to meet
jungkook can’t help but to hug you a little bit tighter and mayhaps even sniff the scent of your perfume again !!!! omg he missed you so much everything’s going great
jin plus jungkook and taehyung plus hobi were able to agree on a deal within the day!! it was so easy and both parties are such delights
they’d get a partition done in the meantime so while you all get to work, jin and kook could have things done with it being a surprise factor for the patrons!!!!
their ideas already sound so good
you learned that jin studied fashion design and jungkook with the graphic design and how you’d even hear stories from them on how they saved each other’s asses so many times
their layout for their stall??? immaculate
jungkook’s fingers are itching to layout the floor plans and all these graphics because fuck he is ecstatic and he cAN’T hide it
you find his smile to be absolutely aDORABLE
that smile with his nose scrunched up and he looks like a bunny and how he laughs loudly and it’s actually contagious
you finally got to exchange numbers :D
kook was the one who texted first and it was out of the blue because he’s wasted all this time just thinkinG on how he’d approach you first
then he was designing prints to go on to the stall until his body dropped and with the energy he had left he went :]
what do you think :) about :) my designs :)
and then you REPLIED and he didn’t think that far ahead
you commended him for it and you realize that your way of designing is different from his but in the same time somehow alike???? yes synergy
“what more do you have left to do?? lol u should really go to sleep koo :D”
“just some more cards i guess?? like the ones with the ~opening sale!!!~ and things like that”
inch resting
you may be so whipped for jungkook that you may or may not have did those layouts yourself
hehe
:D
kook comes to the shop early on the morning so they could be hands-on with the set-up all that but he instantly gets energized the moment you come near him
he should’ve fixed himself up a little bit longer
it’s all clear that he looks fATIGUED and jimin keeps teasing him that he looks like triangle gimbap :(( and he wasn’t annoyed then but he is nOW because oh u might think of him like that too
you put a whole-ass hard drive on his palm and you could’ve just gave him a flAshdrive or sent him the files like a normal person would but he’s special ok
and the gears in his head are turning because oh my god what is iN this wHY are you giving me this and-
“opening sale,,, discounts,,,,, layouts you had left.,….,. y’know :))”
brO
bRO
jungkook’s so happy and he’s still in disbelief because you did that?? you really did THAT for him and you haven’t known him for like a week but you still did it??
this is such a big deal and he doesn’t know how he could express that he’s thankful for what you did besides
ᵐᵐᵖʰ
hugging you :((
oh god you’re really falling for jungkook qUICK
you don’t wanna say that you’re the type to get attached quickly but you aRE the type to get attached quickly :((
although you’ve only been in one (1) relationship before and it went for pretty long but you won’t get into that lol
taehyung knows this so well and mAYBE that he knows that for a brief time when you first met him, you did have a tiny crush on him but that dispersed quickly
it’s just this feeling in you that jumps up every now and then
that’s it tHAT’S the person
but then it isn’t that person
tae knows you enough and well,, he tries to interfere with your decisions from time to time because you get crushes and well sometimes they’re not crush material at all lmao
he knOws you have the hots for jungkook
but he’s not sure whether or not jungkook feels the same
://
he needs to keep his mind open ok
he doesn’t know jungkook that well but he does know that there are a LOT of guys like jungkook
that sounds pretty hypocritical of him but taehyung’s just that way hehe he just doesn’t speak his thoughts loudly
but he is THINKING
and he’s shutting up and he won’t go off on you yET of how maybe you should feel this one out with jungkook and try to analyze if it’s uhm a two-way thing y’know….
that you’re not the only one who’s getting attached….
it’s officially the opening for the shop and jin and jungkook couldn’t be happier
everyone’s having so much fun!!!!
they didn’t expect these many people and ph god the tears are definitely coming whew
it feels like everyone and everyone’s mother is at the shop and they’re all genuinely having a good time :D
there’s tONS of flowers and you all surprised the both of them with an additional blowout and wow it’s really endearing to try and digest
the people that came in for their tatts and piercings to be done?? they aLL went to the stall!!! their appointment isn’t due yet and they’re a bit early??omg why not go to that pretty shop WITHIN this shop???
they’re all done with their appointment and wanna buy a bomber jacket?? some stickers?? some prints within this frame?? that’s it they will go rIGHT now
vice versa too!!!
the people that initially came for jin and koo’s shop?? they were intrigued and went “lol why not let’s get a piErcing while we’re at it!!!”
business is booming
u gotta say that
satisfaction levels are off the roof
jimin is absolutely having THE time of his life because he gets to chat and he LOVES chatting!!! so much!!! omg who are u!! lemme talk to you about this pretty kitty i saw on my doorstep this morning :D
this whole time, jungkook is beaming and glowing and it makes your heart go whOosh
everytime he bumps into you or sees you in his peripheral vision? would absolutely waddle towards you and sling his arm around your waist and point to all the people in there as he giggles excitedly
whatever’s going on
whatever tHIS was
you’re loving it :(( you want more and it’s driving you crazy that you’re too chicken to make any moves towards jungkook and hE ALSO WON’T
you don’t wanna approach any of the guys either because adding them into this equation won’t make it any less confusing
hobi would just furrow his eyebrows at you because it’s ???? not that hard ???? just confront him and ask if he wants to take it to the next level with you ???? or like idk cONFESS ????
jimin would absolutely tattle and before you know it, you’re already in a reddit or quora thread because he too needs advice, before he himseLF gives advice
taehyung??
well you’re not exactly sure on how tae would react but u know that you’re scared to open up either way because you just aren’t prepared!!
“whatcha doing?? :D”
jungkook’s been awfully too enthralled and his eyes are literally less than an inch away from whatever it is that he’s holding
he’s slouching too and you distinctly remember seokjin getting these chairs with these backrests on them, specifically not for him to do so
he hasn’t been speaking for awhile now and nORMALLY you’d hear his voice every now and then even if you were back to your station or even in the break room
he’s just so fOcused and although that’s not necessarily a bad thing, he needs a break every now and then ok
here you are with a glass of iced tea you just made :)) only supposed to fix up a glass but then taehyung had glared and pouted you from across the room :)) so now you have made a pitcher and everyone’s happy :))
kook kinda jolts at that and it’s what reminds him to blink and tear his eyes away from what he’s holding, looking up at you and a fat tEAR drops from his eye
oh god did you make him Cry
lol no
jungkook’s just wiping it off because he hasn’t blinked in awhile and his eyes are beyond strained at this point
“i brought you-…”
did jungkook just-
oh
did he-
you were supposed to put the iced tea down on his table and you even brought a cOASTER for it
but then jungkook probably doesn’t think of that because he’s wordlessly put his hand on your tummy and sat you down
he’s sat you down.,..,. on him.,…
in technical terms
jungkook’s sitting with his legs slightly spread apart and you’re sat rIGHT at that remaining space
and mind you
this chair is not the biggest chair in history
nor is jungkook’s thighs small.,., hence him taking up the entirety of the chair and leaving a tiny space on it for you to sit
aND YOU KNOW THAT
and out of instinct did you think that you’re gonna fall off, you hoist yourself up and he even helps you out for it, going so far as to wrap his arm around your tummy once again and bring him up on his lap more securely
you’re now sITTING ON JUNGKOOK
although you’re not sure if he realizes this bit that much because he still seems genuinely preoccupied with what he’s doing
his chin’s propped up on your shoulder and his arms around yOU all while it looks like he’s stringing a thread through these beads before he decides to speak
“this mom came in today asking if we could make party favors for her kid’s birthday party,” he absentmindedly hums and for any other scenario would
you ask him to continue on
but now you’re in a PRESSING scenario
literally
your cheeks feel so hot right now and it’s worse than when you try those hiit workouts that straight out come from hell
“so fORTY kids, right? this seven-year old has so much friends?? anyway!! she wanted to have bracelets spelling the kids’ names bUt with these acrylic pendants — sounds good but a lil complicated, right?”
“rIGHT you’re right!!!! :)”
jungkook suddenly stomps his foot down as he huffs because this goddamn string just won’t get in this damn bean and u feel your sOul quiver
“aha let me get that for you!!!”
you’re flustered if it wasn’t that any mORE obvious but apparently, jungkook takes no notice at all because he just scrunches his nose in thanks when you take it from him
“but then, she said that she wanted one more thing to give away!! wanna guess?” he nuzzles further to your shoulder and by your neck and you swear that you’re absolutely dYING
you cock your head to the side the moment jungkook gets back the unfinished bracelet from you and he even nUDGES HIS NOSE TO YOUR
NECK
mhmmm
good food…. good fucking food…..
“matching little cream bERETS that have their name embroidered on them.”
jungkook snorts because hmmm isn’t that a bit too much?? is this kid 7 or 70
“and so yeah, okay, jin-hyung entertained the order and the beret part. and then we gave her a quote. and then she said that she needs it tWO days from now!!! T W O !!!”
the way he emphasizes is adorable but gOd the way he’s practically teasing you right now and pretending to not know about it at all is just sINFUL
“it was a rush order, and she said that she’d pay triple even bEFORE jin could say that she’d have to pay extra!!!” he wraps up on this particular bracelet then before tying it off, having to lean more so he could see better and in turn making you aDJUST
makes you screw your eyes shut because you’re positive that kook would be the death of you
“do you know how mANY variations the name kayleigh could have?? because i certainly dO”
jungkook snorts once more before he could even adjust the way he’s sitting but this time though it’s you who’s caught him off-guard
“this chair hmm???”
now listen
he’s had this scene play out in his head and yes he may or may not have planned for it
of cOurse he would take any chance that he gets to sit you down on his lap
HOWEVER
this one was purely innocent!!!
jungkook was so endeared with you preparing him iced tea and he was just so stressed with these bracelets and he wanted to show you them!!!! that’s all!!!!
but then the equation played out in his head that oh.,.., there is Not Enough Space for two people in this chair that is clearly built for one person only
and tHEN the realization came to him that oh you are INDEED sitting down on his lap and the way you’ve reversed this card is commendable
he swears you were flustered just awhile ago but nOw??? you’re full-out hinting him on this directly and not beating around the bush and oH god that just made him-
“y-yeah this chair, hmm?? what about it??”
jungkook’s the one that’s stuttering now and he unconsciously wraps his hands around your waist tightly as he chews on his bottom lip
your throat’s a bit dry but there’s just this sudden desire that’s popping into you and it automatically cuts our whatever awkward filter you have on
he feels you obviously grind on him in a clockwise motion and you’re playing it oFF so smoothly that he almost forgets that the two of you aREN’T exactly alone
“why don’t you show-
“are those bracelets??? omg”
hobi’s voice resonates from the distance and it automatically goes higher because he’s walking towards the booth in an eager pace
okay fUCK
you automatically yelp and jungkook squeals and before you know it, he’s standing up sO quick before he practically sits you down on his chair forcefully
jungkook’s legs are literally in a tWist as he’s standing behind the backrest and you have to grasp your cheeks to try n cool them down
“yeah!! aha it’s for this client omg but i have so many more to go through and it’s just really busy and all and so i-“
“lemme help!!! today’s a slow day for me anyways!! :D”
hobi’s walking in and he’s aiming for jin’s unoccupied chair that is literally just beside yours and kook is sCRAMBLING away oh god oh god someone’s gonna see this tENT in his fucking pants
“aha omg need to pee!!! y/n’s iced tea makes me wanna pee so badly aha she’s — IT’S so good omg just need to go the bathroom!! aha brb!!!!”
hobi is a little bit perplexed? but uh he doesn’t wanna delve into it that much
you’re shoving your face into your hands because that’s… the glass of iced tea…… it’s not even sipped from yet…..
it’s okay it’s cool
delayed gratification!!! yeah, that!!!! that applies to here, right????
right???
pls say right
it’s always been this flirty and touchy and affectionate atmosphere between the two of you
you were testing out on jumping in puddles basically :((
of course you don’t want jungkook to be this “friend” that you have frequent loving banter and sexual tension with aND is the type to sit you down on his lap and then completely ignore you as you stew in tension
.... of course not
do you know what to feel? not really
truthfully you aREN’T that strong-willed and you only become proactive when the case is absolutely necessary
you have a backbone in you it’s just not THAT strong
which is why you don’t know how you should treat jungkook’s sudden shift in emotions and the way he’s practically avoiding you
you don’t wanna push into him and force yourself over anything he isn’t ready with!! of course not
you don’t know whether you should be enraged because it’s hIM who’s sending mixed signals and right when you think you’re making progress, it’s always two steps back
you don’t know whether you shouldn’t think about it that much because maybe just mAybe it isn’t your loss!!!! jungkook just has a lot on his plate and you shouldn’t be bothered!!!
you DO know that you’re kinda sad
because you’re just so clueless and no matter how tiny of a nudge (you wrote on a paper towel and slid it to him) or big of it (you wrote on a piece of tracing paper with jimin’s glitter pen) that you give him, he wouldn’t be open to you
atleast let you in just the tiniest bit
atleast tell you if you’ve done something wrong or if he needs anything from you
:(
is jungkook losing his shit?? 100% percent
here’s the dish
jungkook is a bIT of an asshole
to further explain, he’s just so mighty afraid of commitment while knowingly doing y’know.... things that you’d DO in a committed relationship
maybe afraid is not the word
it’s a mix of fear and uhhhh perhaps disinterest
:D jungkook is totally an asshole isn’t he :D
he’s had mORE than a fair share of experience lol that’s for sure
but perhaps his first real experience of an actual relationship was with ji-eun from uni
aha well it did initially start with one-night stands :)) and then eventually it became friends with benefits :))
then ji-eun addressed him as boyfriend one night to her friends and jungkook remembers stiffin up that night because uhhhhh??? oh do i have a girlfriend now
he didn’t ask and he didn’t complain
now ji-eun eXPECTED for him to roast her for it but??? he played along???
he’s noticed that ji-eun’s become more affectionate with him and tOuchy but it’s not for escalating things
she’s constantly texting him and inviting him out to eat and normally,,, after sex,,, the most jungkook could ever get was a gRANOLA BAR that she lets him steal when he’s sneaking out but uH you wanna eat lasagna??
he was just sO out of it because is this what being a boyfriend entails??? aha safe to say that he does NOT want a relationship ://
he tried out this boyfriend thing for a 7-day free trial and he immediately left and broke things up with ji-eun (she hates him now but she’s still pining over him)
(( whenever jungkook adds something to his stories, ji-eun goes hAM on those heart emojis ))
he’s just not into commitment
he wants the time and the freedom that most people get less of when they’re in a relationship
jungkook doesn’t get why these girls still get mad at him when he’s made it clear in the first place that he’s oNLY in it for the s-
yeah ok maybe he’s an eternal douche of a frat boy ://
he doesn’t want you to take it the wrong way though
bECAUSE HE LIKES YOU
HE’S SURE
OK MAYBE NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE
but he is sure of it to a degree :D
he just finds it as another ji-eun situation but this time he has more interest!!!
he’s actually thought that maybe being a boyfriend isn’t all that bad
however jungkook’s mind immediately started drifting to how maybe you aren’t a fan of him staying up in the early hours of morning, doing something he could’ve done mUCH earlier and then you’ll hate him or something
he doesn’t wanna go to brunch or wear matching clothes :////
he once came into the shop wearing a black button-up with a black shirt underneath and THEN jimin came in later but with just a black button-up with that he completely REFUTES the idea of relationships because lit rally everyone in the shop kept teasing him to jimin and he doesn’t even liKE jimin
“oh uHhH you wanna take it... slow?”
you’re blinking slowly at jungkook who’s standing in front of you and is looking a little... nonchalant??
nonchalant but in the same time he looks nervous
nervous sweats but he’s playing it off by running his hand through his hair and making these tired eyes at you
quick is he pulling this off oR does he look like an absolute ass
“yeah!! it’s just like uh y’know... casual. a casual, laid-back type of thing!!!”
you don’t know how you’re gonna process that
but you do wanna respect jungkook’s wishes no matter how much you feel it’s a bit tIMELY and insensitive
“o-oh!! casual.,,. slow!!! of course aha no problem :D”
you can’t help but connect the dots aha
he’s decided to tell you THIS right when you were being called by jimin to do a piercing and you have no time to spare
the week before, you remember getting him a drink even if he hasn’t asked for it
or five days before when jungkook materialized out of nowhere and put his hand around your waist before nuzzling his nose to your hair
*immediately spots you and squeezes you when he comes up to you from behind*
“i want a conch piercing!!!! not now tho but i want yOU to do it to me :D”
*immediately dying*
“of course ggukie i’d literally want nOTHING more aha :D”
*immediately regretting making it sound that you are a goddamn sIMP*
or like two days before, you were all eating lunch and you were so full and a little bit sleepy that you rest your head on his shoulder
or maybe just yESTERDAY, jungkook’s sat you down on his lap and hobi interrupted whatever that was happening
and perhaps after that encounter
uh
you may have kissed him on the nose before going to your station
:((((
it’s okay
it’s tOtally ok lol
it’s not like you’ve been distracted the whole day or perhaps the days after that because you’re kept up with the thoughts that maybe jungkook isn’t into you as mUCH as you’re into him even though his actions say otherwise
nope :D
taehyung’s worrying at this point
lmao he knows that you don’t know that he kNOWS what’s going on
sure,, you and jungkook are sly but tae’s observant to the point that he’s memorized all these little quirks about you
he’s been your friend for the longest time!!! of cOurse he knows when something’s bothering you
he’s deduced that maybe jungkook broke your heart or something along those lines,, although he doesn’t assume that it was an actual relationship just yet because if it were, then you would totally tell him about it
... right??
there’s this distance thing going on in between the two of you and he’s tested it out a couple times to test his theory
first, the two of you aren’t iGNORING each other but all your interactions are either short-lived or dare he says,,,, casual n basic
he’s commanded jungkook a couple of times things like “the extra roll of receipt paper is in y/n’s station go get it” or-
“get me a pair of gloves from y/n’s cart”
“tae you already hAVE gloves in your cart”
“ok wHO is the owner and who is the tenant here?? or maybe you and y/n just fought and you’re sO SCARED OF-“
“jesus christ oKAY!!! i’ll get the gloves!!!!”
you look so dejected
taehyung pokes your cheeks and you just LET him
he bought you mac n cheese and spelled out “cheer up :-)” using the shells and you merely smiled at it before proceeding to bOW your head to the table and look distraught
he’s offered his ear as tribute because you haven’t done a rook piercing in awhile and you miss it but you just shake your head nO at him and :(((
and the thing is
you’re so tIRED about being hung-up with jungkook
usually you just shut down and you get back to your feet a week later and you’re all happy!!!
but no jungkook just had to be a pesky little shit in your head and decided to LIVE THERE RENT-FREE
“hiii welcome to hope ink sLASH vante studios!! walk-in, appointment, or are you just here to see me?”
jimin looks up from his phone because he was cLEARLY not trying to help organize some of the audits that hobi told him to lol
hmmmm now this customer does look interesting
he looks cOOL if jimin’s being very honest
he also wants his hair color fo sure and maybe if he just snapped a picture of it right now, this customer tOtally wouldn’t notice at all!! :D
he’s a very tall lad and is in this denim jacket and his HAIR
his hair’s a combination of dirty silver and ash grey and it’s all slicked back!!!
“oh uhhh i’m here for a piercing!! i don’t have an appointment.”
jimin nods at that and turns to him a logbook with the needed contact information and the sheet
kim namjoon
hmmmm
a walk-in customer?? a handsome one at that?? the fate of whose piercing artist would dO his piercing lying on his hands???
hee-hee
now normally jimin with his stereotypical secretary traits, he either knOws or assumes everyone’s business
he doesn’t know what happened to you and jungkook but he for sure knows that you need a pick-me up!!!
you need an appointment
a dick appointment mayhaps lol
usually jimin’s always scolded to how he’s letting the customers pick when unnecessary, and this is the PERFECT timing to correct that tendency
the P in park jimin also stands for Petty
“smoking hot dude for a piercing session with y/n please!!! :D”
he of course had to yell that outloud into jin and jungkook’s stall,,, one in which everyone’s there and you and jungkook are sitting at the opposite ends of the room
hobi shakes his head at that and jin instinctively oOOOOOOHs his way to but jungkook nudges his ribcage pretty fucking hArd and it wasn’t discrete at all
taehyung purses his lips because hmmmm.,.,.. jimin actually doing his job correctly.,..,.. that’s sus
“hot as in as hot as you?? oR hot as in he has the same hair color as what taehyung had back in uni and-”
“ʸᵒᵘ ᵖʳᵒᵐᶦˢᵉᵈ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵃˡᵐᵒˢᵗ ᵇᵘʳⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᵐʸ ˢᶜᵃˡᵖ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵇˡᵉᵃᶜʰ :⁽⁽”
tae pouts and grumbles at that because if he focuses hard enough, he could feel his scalp on fIRE
now you and jimin have always been jokingly flirty with each other
and neither of you take offense and shit bUT a certain jeon jungkook certainly does because he used to not care about both of your antics ok
he didn’t mind because well uH who in between the two of us actually gets to be that intimate with y/n???? me buddy mE
it’s not a competition tho and jimin finds kook to be weird because it looked like that everytime he has his hand around your shoulders or something
jungkook looks like he would bARK at him for doing so and ???? he’s weird
he’s brooding right now if it wasn’t obvious
because for the most part, this distance and casual thing was working for his side
but now that jimin’s escorting you back and you’re play flirting with him again,, he just can’t feel this certain twinge in his gut
he’s not jealous
he’s sure that this is everything but jealousy
he doesn’t get jealous ok
jealousy is just reserved for people who have feelings for someone and are in committed relationships :)
goddamn
jimin was right
you are nOT in cowboy boots nor are you in the matching chelsea boots jimin got you for your birthday but you are definitely shAking alright
“h-hi i’m y/n, your piercing artist for today :)) what’s, uh, what’s your name? :))”
the man in front of you raises his eyebrow but chuckles later on bc for second there he thought you were rEALLY straightforward and he’s used to be the one catching people off-guard
“namjoon. kim namjoon.”
he puts out his hand for you to shake and almost nO customer at all does that and so you’re internally squealing because omg :) wow :) namjoon you polite thing :)
you’re clearing your throat to break off because you swear namjoon looked like he was about to devour you whole with only his gAZE!!!!!
perhaps you were too enthralled into the stare that you don’t notice to how the guys are looking at the interaction while hiding behind this wall
someone’s getting TOO huffy to the point jin had to ask if this certain someone needed some allergy medicine
“what are you getting done today??”
“oh, about that! dealer’s choice, if you may. i trust you.”
did he just-
jungkook instantly scowls thay because excuse yOU denim jacket guy
tHAT’S HIS LINE
dealer’s choice!! that’s his line!!! that’s what he said to you and god does he need to trademark that line??? that’s what he pulled and that’s what anyone getting pierced by you that looks like they have a shot with you, sHOULDN’T pull
:((
you hum at that and you’re trying to keep your smile to yourself it’s all cool
“how do you sleep, by the way?”
jungkook’s eyes are widening twofold because WHAT is he hearing correctly???
he’s looking up at taehyung because he’s the other piercing artist here and he’s looking at jungkook weirdly because he looks so panicked
“that’s a legitimate question, jungkook.”
IT IS
because you’re figuring out if the plan in your head isn’t a good combination with how he sleeps and namjoon laughed at that
“by myself or with you?”
you choke on air at that and namjoon laughs once again as he mumbles that he was kidding before giving you an actual answer
you can’t look at him in the eye because you are still flustered that tHIS fine specimen is flirting with you
y o u
i mean there is no harm in this right.,.,.
jungkook said he didn’t want anything between the two of you anyway :D
“i’ll do your right ear for today. two upper helix and a tragus, how does that sound?” you wait for an answer before putting on your gloves and namjoon nods when you point them out, a sly smile on your face before marking
“you could come in anytime to have me do your left when you’re ready for it — i got you anyways; it’s on the house.”
this time it was hIS turn to be flustered but he keeps his cool, clenching his jaw when you mark him out
“do you need anything before we start? slime?? stress ball?? oOh this keychain i made???”
you proudly hold up this stuffed heart shaped keychain, one that you put in your belt loop because it went very well with your get-up to go to waste
jungkook has his eyes narrowed because he knows you’re innately irresistible but wHY the hell are you pulling out all the stops to emphasize that
taehyung meanwhile has a scowl on and if it was possible to sizzle then he’d be burnt barbecue by now
“no WE made that :///“
you’re cute,,,, namjoon really thinks so
“does your number belong to those options? it really shouldn’t.,.,. it should be a priority”
:)
aHEM
OKAY NO
jungkook has his eyebrows furrowed and at this rate he’d be getting wrinkles on his forehead
next best thing for him? taking his phone out his pocket and tHROWING it to the ground
it snapped everyone out of their trances
he pretended to be sheepish while getting it because aha :D omg how did my phone go there :D
his case is a heavy-duty one but that’s nOT in his worries rn
you proceed to pierce namjoon and it finished as soon as he came because lol piercings really don’t take that long at all
ended with him still paying tho as he insisted
even tipped you more eXPENSIVE than the rate of the piercings themselves and you even tried to give it back to him but namjoon,,, the man that he is,,, he is PERSISTENT
“best piercings i ever had,, besides :) i like the one who did it on me anyways :)”
“but namjoon you have nO piercings :)”
“exactly :)))”
now that tHAT’S done and you are now $$$ richer.,.,.
“jimin you fucker i kNOW what you did there”
the boy smiles brightly and giggles and you aren’t really mad at him because absolutely who in this world would have the heart to??
“i have no idea what you’re talking about”
that has got to be one of your most memorable interactions ever this week perhaps throughout your whole professional piercing career
and it tRULY made you smile and it’s one of the only things throughout this week that genuinely made you smile
yeth you may have scribbled your number very quickly on his palm before he left
you’re just about to pass out on the couch over to the break room because wHEW your heart is racing and you aren’t really exactly opposed to that
namjoon was such a dream and he was very polite too and he was fLIRTY but not the creepy kind
although the door to the break room suddenly swings open and you’re rattled
“jungkook.”
he obviously doesn’t look like he’s gonna greet you back because he looks stone-cold with his gaze set on you
you’re a little bit intimidated because what could he pOSSIBLY want after saying that he doesn’t want anything to do with you??
“you like him? hmmm??”
there it is
there’s this jealousy that’s raging off from him and currently he is fAR too in it to even acknowledge that he iS jealous
this makes you scoff for a moment before crossing your arms across your chest because really,,, is tHAT what it takes to give jungkook a wash of reality???
“m’better than him — whatever his name is.”
your throat is dry because jungkook’s taking these big strides towards you and god he’s just tOO intoxicating for you
even just hIS scent wants you to light yourself on fire because whew.,.,. if he was a drink then he’d be too hot and flammable
not that you’d drink him in or anything :D
“you don’t even kNOW him”
you’re just about to chew him off and before you could, your words get caught in your throat because jungkook dIPS down right at the exact moment
his lips hovering around your neck and testing little licks on it
you whimper because holy fUCK and jungkook takes that as invitation to bOldly kiss you right on your skin, trailing down towards your clavicle where the hem of your shirt meets
“don’t need to, baby.”
you’re sat on the middle of the couch with both his hands trapping you besides your head and he’s crouching down, just mERE mere centimeters from your lips
jungkook’s just staring you down and you audibly gasp because look at him!!! he’s so beautiful!!!!
wait you’re supposed to be mad at him :((
“mind if i have a taste?”
he whispers as soon as he breaks eye contact from you and you whine at that, feeling him suckling on your jaw as you clench
“why not?”
oh
okay
he knows what you’re playing at alright
just awhile ago you were a whimpering mess and noW that he was asking for permission to do something that’s more scandalous than him kissing your neck.,..
hmmmm
you’re being dismissive of him intentionally
just a last-minute plan that involved a shot at his ego and not to embarrass yourself further because after all aha :) not eVERYTHING is all forgiven
ok then :)
jungkook’s kneeled riGht in front of you and he has such a tight grip on your waist even if you know you won’t be going anywhere any time soon he’s licking to your folds with feather-like intensity
if you’re not gonna show any reaction, then atleast hE wouldn’t give everything to you
of course his underlying motive is to tease you and make you beg for it
but every now and then jungkook’s looking up at you and his nose is nudging you in the process but you sTILL won’t back down
did you just-
DID YOU JUST BRING OUT YOUR PHONE
you’re practically dying in the inside but you keep your reactions to yourself and your jaw clenched
in truth you’re just scrolling through your expenses through this month in your notes because it was the fIRST thing you could open in your phone ok
jungkook huffs so loudly because first of all wHERE did you get the audacity
fine then :D
he suddenly stops and that’s when you shoot him a sly look from behind your phone, feigning an irritated quirk of your brow
“you really won’t budge??”
before you could register his words tho you’re iMMEDIATELY moaning he’s eating you out toO good and it was just plain-out sinful with how he was able to make you come from that to this
“jungkoOK fuck-“
his thumb presses firm on your clit before quickly retracting it and that earns him another mewl and a tug on his hair
“that’s right… my name sounds better on your lips, yeah?”
your pure pleasure is consuming you wholly and before your eyes could shut again with how overwhelming the sensation is oH MY GOD is the door unlocked?????
there’s something to how your eyes widen towards that fact and to how jungkook quickly notices that hmmmm he dID leave the door unlocked something about it makes him even more passionate in devouring you and it makes you wanna tHROW yourself into oblivion because the fact that someone.,., someone could literally come in this room aNYtime given is enough to make you almost yell
“fuck fUCK jungkook i’m gonna-“
his lips are all red and puffy and even his cHIN is messy and it makes you moan because fuck it was impossible to how he still looks so dreamy!!!!
he makes no move to slow down as he squeezes at your exposed thighs, his dull fingernails scratching at you before he stares back up at you, nOt even lifting up his mouth from your core to speak
“not stopping you, baby.”
that alone throws you into bliss and you’re cumming sO hard that you feel like you’re gonna black out
jungkook’s lapping on your release as if he’s starved and still tastes you out through your orgasm
that… was an experience alright……
your eyes are fluttering because wow that drAined you
before you could even look for him, kook’s coming at you to clean you up :))
lol he found this face towel on the couch and he figures that it belongs to jimin but nOPE not anymore aha
he dampens it with the water available and he’s EXTRA careful with you because you r sensitive and fragile at the time being
he even wipes at your arms and your neck to cool you down!!!
jungkook’s biting down on his lap as he rests the towel meanwhile on your nape and there it is
that dreamY look on his eyes again that just makes your heart flutter :(( your nose nudges his and it makes him giggle the slightest before he leans down to kiss you
and it hits you that you haven’t even kissed jungkook in the lips eVER
although that doesn’t really happen.
just as you were about to pull him in, something must have snapped in jungkook because he suddenly retracts from you as if he’s got burned
he looks empty and lost, not even sparing you another look before he’s storming out of the break room
and you’re all alone
again.
:(((
“you wanna tell me what happened with you know who?”
taehyung has HAD it okay
he’s trying to be as patient as he possibly could with you
he wishes that he could just read minds so tHAT way he won’t have to budge out the answer from you
because in his very humble opinion, this approach helps too!!!
you’re sad and distraught and he gets that!! he does!!
but maybe if you let him know what happened to you, then he could be sad WITH you
you were the one who taught him that :((
you were roommates in uni and he was so down in the dumps when he got this almost failing grade to the point that he’d take his frustrations out on you
and you very kindly put up with him but then he drew the line to when he blew raspberries to his palm when you made him dINNER!!!! and that’s when you yelled at him and told him to tell you on what the fUck is bothering him
so that way he won’t bottle it up and that way you could try to help and eliminate what it is because you’re also caught in the crossfire thank u very much
it’s his idea to take you out to this party and you’re not being your usual self in this one
and the way tae talked to you upfront made you look up from your drink that you still haven’t finished, a pout on your face
now ok taehyung wasn’t close to giving up on fishing the answers from you but you thOught he was because he was leaning back on his chair
you also really wanted to tell him what was happening too and so you did!! completely caught him off-guard when he stole your drink away from you and almost spit it out the moment you started telling him what was happening
“you didn’t have to open up with THAT y/n jeez you could’ve opened up your story with the start!!! not tHAT”
the somehow comic relief taehyung brings you puts a smile on your face because although you don’t voice it out often, you’re infinitely grateful to have tae
he is perhaps the most understanding and rational person in your life and he’s just so soft and supportive and quick-witted that
oh my god are you crying
you’re in the middle of telling the whole timeline when taehyung feels your head nudging at his shoulder and nOrmally he presses it down
but this time it felt different because well you were sobbing
and now you felt so heavy and there’s this unexplainable weight in your chest because god jungkook is just so fRUSTRATING!!!
he’s beyond angering and frustrating and he makes you want to launch yourself to the ground
“i-i don’t — tae it’s juSt god fuck aHhH!!!! h-he’s so-“
taehyung nods in agreement even though you couldn’t see him because your face is shoved into his chest and he’s rubbing soothing circles onto your back
“i know, baby :((“
he’s in disbelief too
jungkook is an ass and no matter how much taehyung wants to understand that he may have good n pure intentions, his execution is just so fucking horrible
there’s no in-between
either you wanna be committed or not!!!! that’s it!!!
this just wasn’t a netflix trial you could have for a month and when it hints to you that you’re gonna have to give a little bit more,, you immediately fLEE
or maybe it’s just taehyung trying to see the best and over-analyzing things that maybe,,,, maybe jungkook’s just… jungkook
there’s no changing him
he’s unhinged and does whatever he wants (would sometimes stop when reprimanded) and whatever repercussions that are brought out, his first instinct is to toss it aside instead of facing it head-on
you must’ve been lying on taehyung’s chest for atleast an hour because you realize that you aren’t crying anymore and the tears on your cheeks are dry :((
“d-do you want a punch?? i’m gonna go get a punch. four seasons?? we like that, right?? okAy i’m gonna get us some punch!!!”
that’s you for sure :))
you’re immediately bouncing up and clapping your hands pretending that you weren’t a sobbing mess just minutes ago
taehyung knows that you do whatever you need to cope so he just puts his thumbs up,,, even if he prefers pineapple more than four seasons but it’s okay,,.,. whatever you want :))
you needed that
tae was mumbling whatever he had in his mind while you were crying and you listened!!! you don’t know what part should you take from it but you dO know that somewhere along the lines, maybe he’s right
you just want some punch is that too much to ask :(( crying has left you dehydrated and water is the most preferred option but uh that shit is PLAIN
maybe this party isn’t so bad after allthe lights don’t give you a headache
and you see the punch table rIGHT ahead of your path and oooh red cups aren’t the only cups available!!!! that’s so-
“Y/NNNNNNN!!!! look, look!!!! look at me!!!!!”
a voice shrieks from behind you and you immediately feel a pair of arms wrap around you
you’re kinda in panic because taehyung isn’t tHIS heavy and you look down on the arms wrapped around your middle and that’s-
jungkook?
the man in question comes to your view and it’s clear that he’s beyond intoxicated with his glassy eyes and the drunk blush on his cheeks
you took a two-day leave from work that taehyung gracefully granted you to avoid jungkook.,,. jungkook who’s standing right in front of you
“loooook!!! look at meEeeeeEe!!”
you’re rigid in your place because out of aLL the people you could possibly see in this party, why did it have to be him??? you’re okay with seeing yoo-
he’s pointing on his ear and he even waves his hand across your face and is that what he’s talking about??
it’s glimmering underneath the light and???
is that
is that a conch piercing???
you’re rendered breathless because it seems wrong to you…,. not criticizing it as a professional but rather, criticizing it as-
“i thought i was supposed to be the one to do that to you?”
jungkook’s blinking at that as if he’s digesting your questionmeanwhile
your throat is tIGHTening and there’s this fresh wave of tears again because you’re literally quite reminded of him
wHEN HE’S IN FRONT OF YOU
and he’s still pointing at his ear before he’s using his other hand to something or someone behind you and you cAN’T bring yourself to care because-
“oHhh lisa did it on me!!”
taehyung arrives at the exact time you needed him to just hastily, frazzled because he’s trying to connect the fucking dOts on what’s happening
here is his five-second deduction
you’re tearing up and your bottom lip’s trembling which means you’re about to sOB
jungkook’s right in front of you and his right hand is pointing to his reddened ear
a) taehyung has never seen this conch piercing before
b) he would know because he’s one of the two piercing artists in the shop jungkook also works iN and he’d remember if he pierced him or not
c) it’s reddened and there’s some dried blood near the piercing which indicates that it was freshly-pierced
and jungkook’s other hand is pointing to this girl that’s sitting on this couch with a lamp beside her and she’s nOT wearing gloves and taehyung guess that she’s the one who pierced kook???
he’s not sure
although he’s sure that jungkook is fucking wASTED and you can’t bear whatever that’s happening
“can you go home by yourself?? or should i call hoseok to pick you up?? i’m uh, i’m gonna take jungkook home..,. are you sure you could take yourself home???”
you don’t need to be told twice because you’re bolting out of the house so qUICK
oh god you need to get out you nEED to
jungkook doesn’t remember sHIT
he’s drank himself stupid last night is what he’s certain about
there’s no explanation to how he even got home last night and the post-it notes on his console table doesn’t help in the slightest bit
“you’re stupid. - taehyung”
that dumps cold water on him because oh god what did he dO this time
he’s done enough stupid things in these rocky weeks alone!!! what did he do this time :(((
“taehyung told me how stupid you are. he’s right. you’re stupid. - jin”
jin too???
jungkook cusses himself underneath his breath because his head is kILLING him (rightfully so) and he’s about to run his hand through his hair when-
wait
wait a damn second
… he has a new piercing?
he’s immediately fumbling towards the floor-length mirror and he just then realizes that jin’s already went to work wITHOUT him and that puts the pressure on him even more
true enough, his conch is pierced and he’s racking his head on wHY does he have it until it all snaps in his head
lisa.,,..,.
it’s coming back to jungkook now
he remembers you taking two days off and those were the loneliest two days ever he’s ever had working in the shop
then by the end of day two he was such a mess that jin didn’t even know what to do with him
thus came to him via text that there was this hUGE party that’s about to be thrown and he honestly thought why not!!! :D
everything’s going wrong anyways lemme go to a party :))))
and then he bumped into lisa!!! his sorta fling back in uni that he may have dropped suddenly and here she is,,,,
she complimented him on his piercings and jungkook was confused because he already had them back in uni???? okay then thank you????
and he doesn’t know how he obtained this piercing but he’s sure that lisa was the one who did it on him
AND THEN HE SAW YOU
you were crying and he can’t remember wHY but then jungkook’s piercing stings again and it’s like his soul hates him too
because oh
right
lisa shouldn’t have been the one who did that on him
there’s a lot of things jungkook sHOULDN’T have done
god why is it only hitting him now
he’s took a shower as fast as he could and he may have been crying
while he was taking it but that’s not the point
the point that shocked most was you
in work
you actually came to work!!!
taehyung wasn’t able to reach you that night besides get a text from you that you arrived home safely and that’s about it
he thought you needed more time off considering what happened but you’re hERE now????
jin, who had a crash course on everything that’s happened between you and jungkook is also even MORE shocked and he keeps gasping every two seconds
hobi’s happy to see you back again and he welcomes you with a warm hug that you melt into :((
jimin on the other hand completely invades ur personal space in 0.01 seconds because he’s bounding towards you vERY happily
“i missed you!!! i missed you sO much!!! my two days were basically pOINTLESS without you!!!! i asked myself wHy am i still working here without you here-“
“jimin i hired you to work-“
“and i already know that this place is falling aPART without you here and if i leave??? then what???? so i decided against resigning and waiting for you to come back and then you cAME BACK!!!! :D”
he’s so giddy that you automatically become as giddy as he is, just letting him twirl you around while he still has you in a bear hug
jin has a sorry look on his face as he hugs you and you knOw that he knows :((
he’s mad disappointed in jungkook
you automatically know that there’s one person missing here and you’re slightly thankful for it
you just wanna work in peace and it seems that there’s kinda a big waiting list for you to get through and jimin’s calling them up at the moment to let them know that you,, the piercing artist they specifically requested for,, is back!!!
you’re not chirpy and that’s understandable
lol you’re in spain but the s is silent
this quiet you’re encasing yourself in leaves you along with your thoughts and your thoughts are the fUrthest thing away from quiet
it’s not just about the piercing, y’know?
it’s not that piece of jewelry on his ear and it’s not jUst about who pierced it on him
it’s about the sentiment and things that you can’t explain because you don’t wanna say the L word considering that jungkook doesn’t feel the same
and he probably never would
you think growth and suddenly it’s not!!!
you think jungkook wants something more as much as you do and then suddenly he leaves you!!!
you think you’re moving up steps but in reality you haven’t even left your initial one in the first place!!!
you’re so preoccupied with your thoughts that you managed to ignore jungkook who came in late and was beyond surprised and at the same time nERVOUS that you came in for work
although not to preoccupied to ignore that someone was plopping themself on the client’s chair in front of you
you can’t recognize them from their hair color but you dO recognize with how it’s oddly familiar with it’s shape
and then your eyes trail down and upon see only the eyes you’re immediately freaking out
“YOONGI!!!!!”
oh my god
it’s yOONGI!!!!!
your shriek practically leaves everyone in alert and even hobi who was in the tattoo room rush out mid-session to see what was going on
yoongs is more than happy with your reaction and he squeezes you even tighter than the embrace you’re giving him rn
….
….
jungkook doesn’t know if he is the only one here who is beyond lost but uhhhh not to be rude or anything
but who the fUCK is yoongi???
his heart sinks seeing you hug this unknown person and god he could do nothing but wish that it’s him on the receiving end
he’s immediately stalking towards jimin because after all, he iS the one who’s let this guy through
that’s right he did let yoongi go to you asap and it was a surprise for you too and he’s the only who knew that he was visiting :D
10/10 secret-keeping skills
jungkook has a cat-dog relationship with jimin but he’s putting that aside for now because he’s dESperately pawing at jimin’s arm to ask who tf is this yoongi
jimin’s shocked because he didn’t think jungkook would be literally begging him rn but okay,, he’ll give in since this kid looks like he’s gonna bawl
“ah!! yoongi-hyung!! haven’t seen him in awhile :D”
jimin answers and that doesn’t answer shit for jungkook but now that someone else said his name, it sounded familiar??
he can’t exactly put his finger on it but it just felt so distinct
“are they related or?”
he’s asking more because he’s prying for an answer and well jimin’s still watching your interaction unfold
ngl he’s enjoying not giving answers for awhile
but then again kook is shaking him slightly and he’s pleaded again to give the younger boy an answer
“lmao they’re exes, jungkook”
w hat
a prick of fear arises on him because him?? you?? relationship????
“… y-you mean yoongi’s y/n’s ex-boyfriend?”
he’s trying to take in this bit of information and he doesn’t know HOW
he doesn’t know how he should react nor can he explain this sinking feeling in his stomach
the fact that jimin is now speaking without being asked doesn’t help at aLL
“yup!! from what i know and what y/n told me, they were together for three years!!”
“tHREE YEARS???”
o-oh
jungkook’s eye is twitching and his breathing skips because wow
that’s nice
three years :)
that’s a small number, right?? you were in a committed relationship with someone for three years!!! and said someone is now your ex-boyfriend
and for sOME reason, you’re hugging him and the two of you are all good!!
there’s this fear in him again because he doesn’t want to entertain these thoughts, honestly
thoughts that maybe he’s a tad too late and that perhaps you’re back with your ex-boyfriend and you want nothing to do with him because compared to yoongi, jungkook is perhaps nothing!!! :D
“mhmm-hmm. broke up on good terms tho as u can see, they’re still cLOSE, yoongi went abroad and well,,, y’know”
you missed yoongi so much
well uh you don’t love each other like that anymore
it was bound to change anyway
him going abroad to pursue his dreams and you just wanting to stay
it was a mutual decision to break up but although the label wasn’t there anymore, the both of you still looked out for each other :)
lol he’s the reason anyways to why you’re in this job in the first place the both of you were drunk after a date (you watched a basketball game) and then came on the dare that hey.,.,. baby what if you get a piercing license or something
and originally you were supposed to be the only one who took it but then yoongi joined you :))
and some time later you took a break and then resumed and hence the piercing license :))
“c’mon. if i’m gonna get my helix pierced, then i should atleast get it done by my best girl, right?”
yoongi nudges you and it’s this playful aura with him again that makes you laugh
he never really was the one to make you cry or break your heart now that you think about it
kinda sad to think that no one was really at fault for the breakup :(( you and yoongi…. it just wasn’t gonna work
it makes you wary because there always seems to be a trend in your lovelife
the common denominator is that things don’t work out lmao
:((((( lmao :(((((
you’re done with his piercing in a blink and you still can’t stop thinking to how maybe you just aren’t cut out to be loved :((
that sounds so sad
it’s always the word almost for you and it’s exhausting!!!!
after your breakup with yoongi, you didn’t have a relationship after because uH you just didn’t want to
you just didn’t want another off-chance to spend perhaps the best years of your life and then have them move abroad to pursue what they want
you were afraid to be hURT after yoongi
and somehow yoongi is now a timestamp in your life because there’s eras
there’s B.Y. (before yoongi) and A.Y. (after yoongi) lol
then jungkook came along and it’s this sudden shift in you that you were decided!!!
you are gonna love again and you tOTALLY are into jungkook :D
sike he’s just not into you
…or not?
jungkook’s rushing towards to where you and yoongi are sat and no one was able to register the situation even if everyone was on their toes watching
“do you have a basketball game tomorrow????”
he’s staring at yoongi like a madman and yoongi is so confused because what
“i said dO YOU HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROW???”
okay yoongi is dumbfounded
but then he repeats this madman’s words again for two more times and then it hits him
“how did you know?”
yoongi is laughing because how could this dude pOSSIBLY know about this
he’s taking out of his phone from his pocket so quick and then he’s taking out the case
AND THERE IT IS
that sticker
that sticker jungkook made aGES ago
HI MY NAME IS YOONGI AND I HAVE A BASKETBALL GAME TOMORROWWW
fuck
he’s met you before!!!
he didn’t meet meet you but his point is that your paths have crossed before!!!!
the gears in your head are turning because how did jungkook know???? he doesn’t know yoongi and no one would know not unless-
“y-you? you’re the one who made that for me??”
ok this is clearly now a private moment and jimin is dragging yoongi back to where the rest of the guys are eavesdropping but mAybe it’s for the best that they leave altogether
jungkook nods and it feels like his head’a gonna fall off
you’ve got this done and customized for yoongi’s birthday back then and you never thought that a sane graphic designer would do it for you.,..,.
you could always do it but you were in a slump back then and for once, you wanted someone else to bring what you want to life
you thought it was a stupid idea to base yoongi off this vine for one of his presents
and you said to yourself that if the fIRST graphic designer i could get in contact with refuses to make it, then u r gonna scrap that idea
but then this graphic designer eagerly accepted your commission even offered a discount but you still paid him full-price with a tip
who kNEW that it was jungkook???
“i know i’m the most confusing and aNGERING human being ever and a sHITTY one too-“
it’s somehow coming back full circle and he’s only realizing now to how mUCH deeper this goes
“but you have no idea how much i want to hold your hand.”
jungkook has commitment issues he’s refused to address for quite some time now and it’s only now
god it’s only now that he has someone that genuinely makes him want to question this mentality of his
“i kept looking for reasons to nOt love you and it’s impossible because they make me love you more”
he’s tried hating to how you go and make tedious crafts like making stuffed keychains (the latest one is named mang and he’s a hORSE) or trying to channel that restless energy into anywhere you could get your hands on
tried to despise the way you yearn for affection and how you’d go so cranky as to give people quips when you don’t get your fix
tried to loathe the way you’re so understanding and nurturing and gOd he sounds like a real asshole
“it’s not being tied down if it’s with you”
jungkook is sure
he has nEVER been more sure
because god he feels like he doesn’t have to pretend to be anything he’s not when he’s with you
he dOESN’T mind adjusting and he doesn’t mind complying to what you could possible require of him
“and if it in a literal sense is, then i don’t mind at all”
jungkook has never wanted someone sO BAD ever in his life
and he couldn’t agree more that he is a total dummy and how he wants to repent a million times over even if it means to get shut down by you a million times more
“because it’s you.”
:D
he means that
he really does mean that
he’s a sensitive thing and it’s hitting him now to how much shit he’s made you go through and he wants to make up for it!!! pLS
“let me take you out on a date, please?”
oh god is he tearing up
is jeon jungkook tearing up in front of yOU
his arms are glued to his sides but the moment he meets your eyes he absolutely losEs it and goes leaping to hug you
maybe he shouldn’t have done that
maybe he should
but jungkook knows that he’s never felt more calm and complete and loved whenever he’s with you :(((
he’s hanging in there
maybe at the slightest nudge of your nose to his neck in his embrace
somewhere along the lines
somewhere along the lines to how the guys are over there peeking out of the break room and in an array of emotions.,..
jungkook’s fiNAlly hugging you
your hands behind your back
his hands holding yours
:))
#fEEDBACK PLS AND THANK U :D GO REQUEST FOR THINGS N FICS AND U CAN ALSO TALK TO MY CHARACTERS!!! ANYTIME!!!!#wanna see these red string lovers go on their first date??? LEMME KNOW :D#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook imagine#jungkook imagines#jungkook drabble#jungkook drabbles#jungkook fic#jungkook fics#jungkook oneshot#jungkook oneshots#jungkook angst#jungkook angst imagine#jungkook angst imagines#jungkook fluff#jungkook fluff imagine#jungkook fic rec#jungkook fic recs#bts masterlist#jungkook smut#jungkook smut imagine#lover#jungkook x reader
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camping hc’s w/ the feral boys <3
AYO LOOK AT THESE : implied smut if u look hard enough , but really just some cute , fluffy feral boys content lol . these ended up being really fun to write so let me know if u have any other ideas for more hc’s !! ily , starlight ☁
reblogs are always appreciated !!! <3
all as a group -
god help us all this would be a MESS
you guys would get one of those massive tents that have separate rooms for everyone
s’mores are a guarantee
alex and clay would light their marshmallows on fire
and chase each other around with them
karl is FOCUSED on getting the perfect golden roast
sapnap keeps nudging him to mess the marshmallow up
george literally has his marshmallow in the fire for .2 seconds
clay would give him so much shit for it and the two of them would “argue”
but george would end up breaking his smore in half for clay
and feeding it to him most likely
alex would bring his guitar and play it while everyone sat around the fire
sapnap would definitely start singing ‘campfire song’ from spongebob
everyone would pick up
and dissolve into laughter
clay would be the first to bring up telling scary stories
you’d be scared as shit from the words he was crafting
youd sandwich yourself between karl and alex
alex would poke your waist , jumpscaring you
and you’d pout saying you’re going to bed
youd walk into the tent
they would all C O M P L A I N but eventually join you
at least one of them pees on the fire “to make sure its completely out”
george would ‘knock’ on the tent to see if you were dressed
because they’re respectful , your honor
everyone would meet in the main part of the tent with sleeping bags and pillows and blankets
completley abandoning all the separate rooms
you’d all take turns talking about nothing at all really
making stupid jokes
if you fell asleep first , clay and george would make everyone whisper
you need your beauty sleep
they’d all fade pretty fast after that
but karl would wake everyone to watch the sunrise together
dream -
would have the top of the line camping equipment
even if it was for like
a two day trip
he’d go to an outdoor store and come home with an entire car full of camping shit
a portable grill
a blowup mattress
the nicest two person tent money could buy
the full nine yards
would put you in charge of planning meals
which is probably a good idea
has had the campsite booked for months
somewhere by a lake
“clay , we literally live by the ocean”
“it’s not the same , baby”
he’s right , its not
would take a mini road trip to get there
he’d make sure to stop at all the tourist traps along the way
you two would end up with a bunch of fruit from a roadside stand
once you finally got there
the tent would essentially pitch itself
he’d do the car salesman slap on the nylon
“best tent money can buy”
you’d probably take a nap , tired from the drive
by the time clay shook you awake the sun was setting
so he'd fire up his little camping grill
pls he’d geek out so hard over it
you’d be awake from the nap
so clay would light a lantern and the two of you would just
wander around the campsite holding hands
you two would absolutely go swimming at midnight
clay would pick you up in the water
and have you wrap your legs around him like a koala
he’d pepper your face with kisses
then dunk you under the water
once you two got out you’d get in pajamas
and clay wouldn’t be able to inflate the air mattress
he forgot the pump
but you brought sleeping bags just incase
you two would fall asleep as close as two people in sleeping bags possibly could
sapnap -
would insist on being the manliest man
like would collect firewood and everything
he’d show off the axe he brought
then would chop the wood
he's gloating smh
and would get 125670 % more overprotective when you wanted to try
would stand behind you and show you how to swing
would guide your arms and everything
but would stand like
10 feet away
when you went to actually swing
spooked by how hard you chopped
but also proud ???
would build a fire as it got dark
and tell you how pretty you looked in the light from the flames
he’d be pretty old school w camping food
would stab a poker through hotdogs
he’d help you roast yours , rotating it so it cooked even
would forget the buns and condiments
“i thought we had everything!”
the two of you would die of laughter
just eating ur hotdogs
off of the pokers
however
would remember a stash of candy and snacks
so you end up eating those too
nick would have the tent up in less than five minutes
“fastest tent pitcher on this side of the mississip” 😎
would bring it up 13790 times
he would find a way to zip your sleeping bags up together so it's one big franken-bag
he’s so warm
keeps you toasty
George -
camping was most likely your idea
but gogs is all for it
gets really excited and buys a two person sleeping bag
“so we can still cuddle”
you’d bring all your camping equipment so you had a pad to sleep on
“sleeping on the ground hurts , baby”
“isn't that the whole point ?”
would have his hand on your thigh as he drove to the campsite
and would play loud music the whole way there
with all the windows down
you two would set up camp while it was still light
both struggling™
to get the tent up
it would take y’all like an hour
and both of you would be all sweaty after wrestling with it
so george would change into swimming trunks and wait on you to put on a bathing suit
then he would piggyback you to the lake
running straight into the cold water while you scREAMED
you’d smack him so he’d let you down
then you’d splash him
a splash war would ensue
george would grab your hands , threading them through his
“be nice to me >:,(“
you’d get all soft and wrap your arms around him
the two of you would swim for h o u r s
until someone got hungry
you’d show gogs how to make a campfire
he’d knock over your demonstration
“i want to try”
would nail it on the first shot
you'd be baffled but entirely impressed
after dinner he would show off the oversized sleeping bag
you two would get in together , legs tangled
would probably download movies on his phone beforehand for you guys to watch
he’d fall asleep first , lulled to bed by the sounds of outside
Karl -
loves camping so much
just loves outside in general
would already have a bunch of gear
but would insist on finding a way for you two to be able to sleep together
we all know this boys love language is touch
even in his sleep he needs some sort of skin to skin contact
would buy a camping bed
i feel like karl would want to make “real camping food”
so he’d do hotdogs
and those foil packet thingies with potatoes and corn
he’d show you how to seal they foil and bury it in the coals properly
would scrunch his nose at you while you messed the wrapping up on purpose
“let me do it for you , baby”
would proceed to do it for you
he’d take 100000000000 pictures of you
in the sunset lighting
the campfire lighting
the moon lighting
because he cant help how beautiful you look
would feed you bites of vegetable in between your hot dog
“are you staying hydrated?”
brought juice boxes , too
he’d set up a place for you guys to stargaze
and would point out all the constellations
yall would make up your own too , giving them full backstories
he’d slow dance with you under the moon until it got too cold to be outside
the two of you would … take advantage of the camping bed
crossing ‘outside’ off the bucket list 😌
by day 3 he was tired of his traditional camping food
would beg you for some of your snacks
you’d feed him oreos and fruit snacks while you guys hiked
Quackity -
was not down™
at first
but once he saw how excited you were
he would be all in
would go to a camping store with you and pick out equipment
alex would insist on getting the stereotypical camping cookware
“we have to !!!”
“no we dont???”
“yes we do 😤”
would refuse to sleep on the ground
buys one of those camping pad things
would buy a two person sleeping bag as well
“if im doing this im at LEAST sleeping next to you”
you’d beg him to bring his guitar and play it at the campfire
he’d sing you soft songs while you toasted marshmallows
and you’d feed him s’mores
but you two would end up just eating the chocolate bars instead
he’d bring some sort of card game
and you two would get way too competitive
probaby uno
you’d be screaming at each other at like 1 am
“yOU DIDN’T SAY UNO”
would get a noise complaint
but alex does not care
not one bit
would make a joke about you screaming his name instead
ends up loving falling asleep to the sounds of nature
somehow finds his way into being little spoon
you two fall asleep holding each other
and wake up a tangled mess
begs you to stay another night
because he actually likes being away from it all
and getting uninterrupted one-on-one time with his girl
next time you guys get a free weekend , he’s the one who suggests camping
because he loved it so much
#feral#boys#feral boys#feralboys#dream#dreamwastaken#dream was taken#georgenotfound#gnf#karl#karl jacobs#karljacobs#sapnap#sap nap#bigq#big q#quackity#mcyt#mcyts#mcyt writing#mcyt headcanons#headcanon#headcanons#headcannon#headcannons#i think thats all of them#love u drink water#starlight-writes-stuff
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febuary seventh (i’m seeing you)
Y/n and Spencer's relationship collide around a single day: the one where they first looked into each others eyes.
[Or, the all of the secret love letters they wrote during the beginning of their relationship]
Word count: (part one and two) 9.2k
Warnings: Language
Rating: Gen audiences
A/N: it was too long for tumblr, so I broke it into two parts!! Enjoy. GN! Afab reader (it’s important, trust me)
Part Two
Y/n looked up. They had just finished reading Spencer’s journal, the one dedicated to them. Spencer was kneeling and in his hand was a small box, the dainty ring he’d gotten years ago from his mom sat in between the white.
“Will you, Y/n L/n, do me the greatest pleasure by marrying me?” Spencer said with his anxiety showing through. Y/n gasped and threw themself at Spencer, wrapping their arms tight around him.
“Yes!” they cried, pulling away for Spencer to slide the ring on their finger. Then they took a deep breath. “Wait here.”
They disappeared into the two’s bedroom, rummaging through some things before running back with a black binder in hand. “It’s only fair if you see my unsent love letters, too.”
Spencer grasped it and flipped the binder open as Y/n guided him to the couch.
“They’re in order but aren’t as neatly organized as yours - I stopped writing before you did, though.”
————————————————
For Spencer Reid, february 8th 2008 10:17 am
It was yesterday, a little more than 24 hours ago at 6 am that I was on a bus. Tiny, white and cramped, but now I realize it was actually a ferry to the love of my life. Even though at the moment all I cared about was when I was going to get to stretch my legs next, it still buzzed with excitement because I was about to be in your city even if you didn’t come to see me, that would’ve been enough. Being three feet away from you is more than enough. Being Two inches away from you is bliss. But your head on my shoulder is nirvana.
But then, only two hours after I had started my d&d campaign (the moon isles or something) there was an urge to look behind me. I tried to ignore it but I looked anyway.
What I saw scared me. Not because I’m afraid of you Spencer, but because I was scared of myself. I wanted to run to you and hug you, but I was too scared of scaring you away that I didn’t. My head seemed to spin as a second glance felt like a hundred years. Then a smile broke out on my face and I looked away. At first I didn’t think it could be you, I half screamed at the two people sitting on the left side of me. “Don’t look now, but my boyfriend’s here” of course they looked and Sophia told me that you were walking over here.
My insecurities flared up, but I remembered that you love me, even though I'm tired and probably covered in acne. She said you sat down behind me and I risked a quick glance, or two, or three times every two minutes. I tried to act as normal as possible even though if I looked back I would see the smile that lifted your cheeks when I looked at you. It was hard to focus on my campaign because it’s cliche, but I could sense you behind me and I was shaking. My friends were hyping me up to say Hi and I was trying to not scream. I ran to the bathroom, splashed water on my face and tried to calm down. I ran back, probably looking a little too excited. Ok, I was totally too excited.
My campaign finished up, you caught me staring at you a few times and my friends told me you were looking at me anytime we all made a loudish noise. After that, you followed us to lunch, well, followed me. You stood beside me and I said Hi, you replied the same. Then you grabbed your stuff and seemed to have left. I visibly deflated, my one chance to see you and I missed it. Then you came back, with a takeout bag in hand and some fries. I didn’t mention it already but you looked adorable in your glasses, from afar they look too big for you but then you see the big warm eyes behind them. Your cheekbones are so nice and everything about you is handsome, even more than I could have imagined. Photographs don’t do you justice. I hoped you had liked your dice, I got the red and black ones but I was scared you didn’t like yours.
You sat directly in front of me and my friends (Deriasia and Emma) immediately made fun of me and I almost died. At that moment. When you smiled and laughed. My friends gave us their blessing, which kinda fit because you were as tense as if you were meeting my parents.
I asked you to sit with me during the next campaign and you did (we snuck you in without paying). You played with the first character I ever played (Bida the high elf wizard). I was almost too distracted to really compete in all the things, instead focusing on you. You let me use your journal to doodle, a weird eye and a girl. Did you notice me fiddling with my hands? If I didn't keep them busy I probably would’ve put my hands in your hair or grab your hand. I remember you asking me if I needed a hug. I said yes and I think that hug is the most important one I've ever had. You laid on me and I didn’t care what my friends would say, all that matters was you.
My skin in two weeks will not remember the feel of your hair, my lips will not remember your cheek, but my brain forever will. At that moment, physical immortality is not as important as the immortalization of those touches.
They linger in my head, fuzzy and soft on my skin but they’re there.
I remember you telling me not to buy you anything (i still got you a resin skull magnet and dice) I remember flirting with you, i remember it all. I remember how you know all of Sappho’s poems and fragments, I want to remember everything about you. I know I won’t, you’re the one with the crazy good memory, after all.
I wish I would’ve looked in your eyes and told you that I saw you. I wish I would’ve pressed my lips to yours, but then again there’s always next time. And next time I will, even if it’s right in front of the whole world. Because I love you. I really fucking love you and everyone can suck it. I love you.
And I think that’s all that matters.
____
I have waited almost six months to hold you in my arms, and now I wait longer. I hate myself, I didn't hug you. I should’ve.
I didn’t tell you I love you enough, I didn’t kiss you properly. I wish I did.
Currently my arms ache to hold you, my eyes burn to see you and my lips yearn to touch yours. I can’t wait to indulge myself in thousands of kisses, I hope they are as sweet as your skin. Kinda licked my lips after kissing your nose, cheek, and right under your neck. You taste sweet, I think I'm addicted.
I still feel the ghosts of your touch on my skin, I love it. I love you. I want to have your actual skin under my fingertips, to hold you when you wake up from a bad dream, to dance with you under the stars. Decide what song is ours and argue over how cheesy it is. Cry on the day we say our vows, cry at the birth of our first child, cry when they go to school, cry when they grow up, cry when I realize that we did it. I can’t wait to have life with you.
If there’s such a thing as soulmates then the word was made to describe us.
I love you.
____
I fell asleep, I woke up right before you texted me. I dreamt about you, in my mind I fell asleep with you in my arms. In my mind I am sitting in a cafe, right across from you drinking tea.
I prefer it to real life, by about an infinite percent. My friend came in and basically yelled at me to let him use my box, I told him to fuck off. I know I won’t be able to fall back asleep but I do hope to continue my dream tonight. Currently im trying to believe that you think i’m “stunning” it’s starting to work it’s way into my mind that i’m not ugly.
Spencer, I love you.
You have such an effect on me, the first week we were together you weaseled your way into my mind. You sprouted a tree that is still a sapling but has rooted to the core of my mind, slipping into my heart and spreading through my limbs. You’re almost a drug (the only one I approve of).
You’re poison, searing through my veins and warning my skin. But you’re not toxic, you’re candy, sugary sweet, something tangible that almost floats in and out of existence.
If you are a God, I am your most loyal patron.
____
Time is meaningless but it goes so fast, only eight minutes left to talk then my day ends. So many more ‘I love you’s I could say.
But time will not permit our love, that’s fine, I’ll wait it out till the end.
You’re worth it.
Seven Minutes
____
You always deny that you’re adorable, and that’s so adorable.
It’s frustrating sometimes because you’re so beautiful you deserve to know it. But oh well, i’ll just have to prove you are.
I told you I’d rather go on a date with you first before doing anything sexual. you also deserve to know your love is all I need, not your body (that’s just a perk)
You’re hot, sue me!
____
In the shower, I have most of my daydreams. Ranging from cotton candy clouds to a place where my parents accept me. However, the best daydream i’ve ever had is about a boy. A boy with chocolate brown eyes and a beautiful smile. Ding Ding Ding, his name is Spencer.
My dream is about his last name, well it involves it. I imagine myself talking to him while I say an important speech, in front of a crowd of people. I’m talking about our relationship, about how much I love you, and how much I can’t wait for the next chapter of our life to start. I always tear up when everyone is quiet at the end, and then you say what you have to say. It’s fuzzy and I don’t remember any of it (kinda want you to make your own in the future) but after you say it. It's time.
You say two words, so low only I and the person standing next to us can hear, “I do”
That’s the best day dream I’ve ever had, because I know it won’t be just a dream (I hope)
____
The best part of my day is looking at any photos from you: they always make me smile. Even when my day has been utterly terrible, your bright eyes are always a light in the dark.
I often don’t even need to think about you to have your smile in my mind, it’s just there, like a constant bright sunshiny beam. A single thought about you makes my day, a single touch my year, remembering that you’re mine makes my life a whole much better.
You, make living better.
I live for you, you’re all I ever want to have.
Je suis fou amoureux de toi.
____
So uh, you might have noticed but I don’t know how to talk to people, let alone talk to you.
It’s not that I have nothing to say, I have too much to say. It all bubbles in my mind and makes me jump on topic every three seconds. But when it comes to you, I'm stuck on which way to tell you I love you.
So, how about all of them?
I don’t need to focus on a single part of your face to know that it’s beautiful, but I do. All the parts work in harmony, like a choir. But individually they are still beautiful. I love every single inch of your face, individually and together.
I love you for your personality, I fell in love with a genius who is so much more than his memory or intelligence. Then I fell in love with a sweet boy who whined when I said self deprecating things. When we first met, I instantly fell in love again, with a shy boy who would look up at me from under his lashes.
Fuck, my mind is racing too much to distinguish anymore. But, I hoped I showed you.
That, I love you now, and forever will.
Happy Valentine’s day, my love.
____
Happy anniversary, god I can’t believe it’s been five months already. It seems just yesterday I was crying over whether or not I should continue liking you (i had told myself I wasn’t good enough for you).
Well, turns out I was wrong. I’m just enough for you. It doesn’t matter to me anymore if you’ll ever leave me, well, it does, `but there’s something more important, you being loved and being happy is what matters. And I can’t wait to give you what matters.
I love you babe! I’ll try to write more to show it.
____
My mind is a cavern of echoes, words (well a name) revertibrating in my skull.
The things used to be about art, school, anything slightly important.
But now, it’s filled with the most important person in my life. Analyzing the color of his hair (a warm brown), thinking of his eyes, thinking of his name and my name with a change; Spencer Reid (and sometimes Y/n Reid) has taken over my mind and burrowed into my soul.
I think if the red string of fate was real then we’d have been connected when we first met. Fuck, we are connected.
If we weren’t why would I have fallen in love with you? It was fate that I sent a letter to a wrong address, fate that I stumbled upon the boy that would change my life for the better.
Our souls are connected, being pulled because of the distance though, and I can’t wait to be with you. Not two halves of a whole, but two souls that fit like a puzzle piece.
I love you, and you love me. Even though I'm a coward.
When we have a daughter, her name should be Rhiannon. We will both dote on her like the goddess she is. Just a thought :>
____
You were in my house today. I think I'm dying, I'm wearing your sweater. It smells like you. I think you left it behind on purpose.
You smell really nice. It’s not like a cologne or anything, but it's nice. You’re nice
You kissed me. You’re a really good kisser. You should do it again and again and again.
I got the news yesterday, my transfer went in, I'm sending my letter to you tomorrow. I know you’re in my city but I'd rather it be like this.
I don’t think i'm going to write any more, don’t think that means i don’t love you!!
I am going to hold you for hours, I promise, I love you.
————————————————
Spencer finished reading and smiled up at his new fiance. “We were such dorks! It's crazy how similar we thought.”
Y/n nodded and looked down at their ring. “We were dorks in love! Um, so how do you feel about the name Rhiannon?”
“It’s pretty, but I don’t think we need to be worrying about baby names - we need to figure out how to tell my team we’re engaged.” Spencer quipped, wrapping his arms around Y/n before it hit him.
Y/n’s morning sickness, the weird secretive doctors appointment, and what they had just said. “No!” he whispers, a smile growing on his face, “I’m gonna be a dad?”
They nod and bury their head into Spencer’s chest. Spencer can’t stop the smile that beams across his face. He grabs Y/n and spins them around in his arms, “This is the best news!!”
He pressed a deep kiss to Y/n’s lips, then went onto his knees to wrap his arms around Y/n. “Jason Derek Reid if it’s a boy and Rhiannon Penelope Reid if it’s a girl.”
Y/n smiles and nods, “I was thinking the same thing.”
“Let’s be on the same page, forever from now on, okay?”
They nodded, Spencer’s hands finding place on their back as he pressed his lips right below Y/n’s navel. Y/n’s hand’s dug into his hair: “Forever.”
Years later the two do indeed wake up on a Saturday morning to impatient kids who demand to be made pancakes. Sometimes after a hard case they do dance at three am in their underwear. Sometimes they do a lot of things in their underwear. They’re together in every way imaginable.
And to them? It’s the most important thing that could ever be possible.
The End
part one
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Growing Together - Chapter Twenty-Eight - The Proof Is In the Brownie
Author's note:
Hello beautiful people! It's been such a long time since I have posted, and I'm truly sorry for the no-show, but things ahve been hectic at work and I really couldn't get myself in the right headspace to write, but now we're hopefully rolling! I struggled a lot deciding whether I should write this chapter or not. It doesn't feel like my usual narrative, some of you will find it unusual, and still I had to get it out of my head. If you can, leave me a comment or an ask with your opinion!
So, without further ado, let's get to it!
“Oh God.” I croaked, looking around. “I think we took this thing way too far.”
Victor lifted his head from my shoulder, disheveled hair still covered with flour.
“You think?” He frowned. “We destroyed the kitchen.”
Feeding Instructions
“Andy, will you come here for a second?” I heard Victor call from the hallway.
“Yeah.” I stopped beside the aquarium, running my fingers through my wet hair.
“This is how much you give him.” He showed me a small plastic spoon with lobster pellet food. “Twice a day. Once in the morning, once in the evening. No more than that.”
Here we go.
“Are you also instructing me on how many times I should feed our son, or is it just the lobster?”
“You forget you fed him, and then you feed him more than necessary.” He dropped the food into the aquarium. “He’s getting fatter, his exoskeleton doesn’t even get a chance to harden.” He paused, staring at the aquarium. “Maybe I should make you a sheet to keep track of his feeding.”
“For the last time, Victor, I am not overfeeding the lobster! I am perfectly able to remember if I have fed him or not, I’m not senile.” I walked back to our room, starting to feel annoyed.
“This from the person who forgot her phone inside the refrigerator.” I heard him follow me.
“That is different, I was getting a yogurt for Owen and I was holding the phone...”
“I would buy you some memory supplements, but you’ll probably forget to take them.” He mocked me.
“You know, if you are so worried about the lobster, don’t go.” I turned to him. “Stay and feed him yourself.”
“You know I can’t do that. I need to make sure everything is running smoothly before the inauguration.” He held me by the waist.
“Right.” I leaned my head against his chest with a heavy sigh. ”And I need to stay behind to look after LCG and help Goldman if he needs me.”
“It’s only for two weeks.” He pressed his chin on top of my head. “Then you’ll meet me in Paris, and we can make up for the lost time.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around him, like somehow my embrace could force him to stay. Although traveling was a big part of Victor’s job, since we got Owen he used to avoid it as much as he could, and I got used to having him with us all the time. I knew LFG France was a big project that demanded a lot of his attention, especially during the first months, and he had no choice but to go, yet I still resented the fact that I would have to endure two weeks without his warmth, sleeping alone in a cold bed.
“In the meantime, will you please try not to kill our pet?” He broke our embrace, pecking me in the forehead. “Twice a day. No more, no less.”
“Oh, for the love of-”
“Nevermind, I’ll just ask Owen.”
And with that, my husband left me alone in our bedroom, probably to avoid the insults I was about to throw at him.
A Brownie a Day Keeps the Sadness Away
“You’re leaving tomorrow?” Owen poked his eggs. “But I have to go to school today, I won’t have any time to be with you before we leave.”
“We have tonight.” Victor smiled at his son.
“It’s no use, it’s not enough time.” The boy pouted. “And I’ll be too sad to enjoy it anyway.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at my five-year-old drama. Victor gave me a knowing look.
“Well, that being the case, I may as well return the tickets I bought to the Insectopia exhibition.” Victor spoke casually, his eyes on his phone.
Owen dropped his fork and looked at his father, his sweet brown eyes sparkling.
“We are going to see Insectopia today?”
Victor got up from the table calmly, retrieving an orange cardboard box from the fridge.
“We were, but since you are so depressed, you may not want to do it. I even bought your favorite brownies from Hungry Hippo, but I understand if you lost your appetite.”
“I can have brownies for breakfast?!?” Owen’s eyes opened so wide I thought they were going to pop out.
“Finish your eggs first.” Victor took three more plates from the cupboard, serving us all brownies. Owen took his fork again, eating his eggs in a rush.
“Done!” He announced after what felt like 10 seconds. “I want a brownie please!”
“God, Owen, did you even chew your food?!?” I looked at my son’s plate, surprised to see it empty. But I don’t think he even heard me, already busy cutting his brownie.
“Hmmm, these are sooo goood!” Owen closed his eyes as he took a bite of his brownie. “The best brownies ever, better than all other brownies! Not even Dad can make brownies this good!”
My husband’s face fell.
“My brownies are not this good?”
“No, these are so much better!” Owen replied with his mouth full of chocolate.
Victor gave me an inquisitive look. I sipped my coffee, pretending not to notice.
“Hmm.” He frowned, cutting a piece of his brownie with the fork and bringing it to his mouth. After a moment, his frown deepened. “They are. But how?”
Playing My Brownies Right
As usual, we drove Owen to school and headed to LFG Tower to work. On a regular day, Victor and I would spend our commute time talking about our daily affairs, clients we would meet, who would cook dinner or pick Owen up. But since it was his last day at home before he flew to Paris, all of that seemed irrelevant. The whole day just felt a bit sad for me.
“I wish you could take the day off for us to spend some time together. It’s been ages since we had some time for ourselves.”
“Some other time.” He sighed. “I need to get some last-minute affairs in order before I leave.”
“Can’t you take some time and have Goldman do it?” I complained. “You’ve been working non-stop.”
“I should take care of some things myself.”
“Funny, back when I was publishing my study, you were such a firm believer in delegating.” I squinted at him.
“Different situations.”
“Because I’m me and you’re you?”
There was a moment of silence, and I smiled thinking Victor was mulling over my astonishing comeback. Turns out, he wasn’t even listening.
“Do you think those brownies are better than mine?”
“That is your main concern right now!?”
“Well, are they?” He insisted.
“Ok, consider this a lesson of tough love.” I turned to him. “Yes, they are. Happy Hippo’s brownies are vastly superior to yours. And that’s ok. You don’t have to be good at everything. Someone can’t be good at everything.”
“I beg to differ.” He frowned, watching the road. “My whole life, I worked hard to achieve perfection, and I have reached it. I believe that with consistent effort and dedication, one can be good at anything.”
I stifled a laugh.
“Not brownies, though.”
“Don’t think I can’t tell you are mocking me.”
“Oh no, I’m going to lose brownie points.” I poked him.
“Will you back off?” He poked back. “I have plenty to do today, I don’t want to catch moronitis from you.”
“You know, if you were so good at everything, I’m sure you would have no trouble delegating your tasks to Goldman and spending the day with me.” I gave him a daring look. “In fact, I bet you can’t.”
“You bet?” He smiled mischievously at me. There was nothing Victor loved more than a good challenge. Unfortunately for him, I was well aware of that.
“Want to make it official?”
“It depends. What are the terms of this bet?”
“For today, until Owen arrives from school, if I dare you to do something, you’ll need to do it, and you need to do it perfectly. If I win, you’ll have to admit you are not good at everything. Also, you can’t nag me about anything for a whole month. Not about lobster food, not about the mess I make in the bathroom, nothing.”
“Fair enough. So if I win, you’ll have to always agree with what I say and act accordingly for a month. During that time, what I say goes, and you can’t go against it. And you will have to acknowledge my prowess as well.”
“I always have to agree? So I can never tell you that you’re wrong?” I frowned.
“Not for thirty days, you can’t.”
“Not even if you are talking your way into sleeping on the couch?”
“That won’t happen because you’ll always agree with me.” He smiled. “See? It’s a foolproof plan.”
“You have to win first.” I dared.
“I’m confident about my chances.” Keeping a cautious eye on the road, he pressed the screen of his phone. “And to show you I mean it, I will complete the first challenge.”
“You’re taking the day off?” I smiled, surprised to see my teasing work so well.
“I was already planning to, you idiot.” He pretended to be angry, although I could see him suppressing a smile. “I only had a short meeting to attend and then I would whisk you away from the office for some time for two. Sadly, you had to act childishly and ruin the surprise.”
Awww, soft Victor. I leaned against his bicep, my heart filled with love for this man. It almost made me feel bad for planning to make his day a living hell. Almost.
Put Your Mouth Where Your Brownie Is
“A supermarket? That’s your idea of time for two?”
“It’s been a while since we’ve had a quiet day at home, just the two of us.” Victor replied, filling our cart with several items. “And cooking together seems like a nice activity.”
“Well, since you’ll be gone for so long, I thought we could use some more…” I batted my eyelids at him. “... intimate time.”
“Fear not, I will not leave my wife unsatisfied.” He smiled.
That smile was enough to leave me a babbling horny mess. Get it together, Andrea.
It wasn’t until we stopped by the dairy fridge that I paid close attention to the contents of our cart: chocolate, sugar, flour, and a stick of unsalted butter Victor had just put there.
“We’re going to bake brownies.” My good mood was gone at that exact second. We were supposed to be taking time for us, how could he even think about brownies?
“We are going to try and recreate that recipe, perhaps even improve it.”
“Well, don’t use that butter then. Use this one instead.” I retrieved a stick of regular butter from the fridge.
“I will not use cheap butter to bake.” He put the salted butter in its original place. “It alters the consistency and flavor. It belongs on warm bread, not brownies.”
I could say I was disappointed that Victor was more concerned about his pride than the short time we had to be together before his trip. I could even say that it upset me how condescending he would sound sometimes, always telling me how to do things, like I was Owen’s age. All of these were true, but that wasn’t what was bothering me the most. Victor would leave soon, and we wouldn’t see each other for two weeks, and I knew I would be a needy insecure mess during the time he would be away, barely able to sleep on that giant bed by myself, missing his loving whispers in the morning, his huge sweaty body making love to me. To add insult to injury, this distance didn’t seem to affect Victor at all. He was cool as a cucumber, like this long trip away from his family was just another Tuesday.
I felt entitled to some pettiness.
“You know what? Forget about the old bet.” I took the stick of butter and placed it again in our cart. “Let’s make a new one. Same consequences, different challenge.”
“What do you have in mind?” He came closer, looking me in the eye.
“Simple.” I stared back defiantly. “The best brownie wins.”
All is Fair in Love and Brownies
The terms were pretty straightforward: we had fifteen minutes to prepare the batter, after which we would put both trays in the oven, simultaneously, and bake them for the exact same time. If we couldn’t decide on which brownie was the best, Owen would have the final say. The winner would have absolute power over the household for a month, and could not be defied during that time, unless in dire circumstances.
We placed the ingredients on the counter, along with the bowls and pans we would need. Victor started the timer on his phone.
“Ready?” He glanced at me.
“Let’s get this party started.” I smiled.
It was showtime.
Victor and I loved cooking together, but our cooking methods couldn’t be more different. I was more of a messy cooker, leaving eggshells on the counter, and flour everywhere, and most times my clothes would also become victims of my culinary endeavors, while Victor was methodical and clean, neatly arranging his ingredients on the counter, carefully measuring each one of them. Surprisingly, we worked pretty well together: Victor quickly embraced my spontaneous side and I obviously benefited immensely from his methodic one. Side by side, as competitors, not so much. That became clear when I grabbed the flour and placed it absentmindedly on the counter, the bag still open.
“Close the bag after you use it.” Victor paused his mixing to close the flour bag. “Clumsy as you are, you’ll spill flour all over the counter.”
“So what?” I shrugged, busy mixing my batter. “It’s just flour, we’ll clean it afterward.”
“Have you noticed how filthy your side of the counter is? How can you work in such chaos?” He scolded. “Eggshells everywhere, flour and sugar on the floor…” He wiped my forehead. “How did you even get flour on your face?”
And there he was again, talking to me like I was five. Oh boy.
“I’m sorry, is my mess making you uncomfortable?”
“Just stay on your side of the counter, I don’t want to get stains on my shirt.”
That was enough. If Victor was so adamant about treating me like a child, I would act like one.
“Oops!” I tilted the sugar jar over the counter, sugar spilling all over Victor’s side. “You are right, I can be really messy.”
“What’s the matter with you?” He quickly grabbed a cloth. “Are you trying to aggravate me on purpose?”
“Maybe I am.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’m sure a perfect man like you must be prepared to deal with all challenges life throws at him, including a messy wife.”
“A little sugar isn’t going to stop me, if that's what you think.” He gave me a smug look, returning to his work. “I’ll still win.”
“Is that so?” I paused my mixing, wondering what I could do to get him pissed.
“Easy now, don’t go doing things you might regret.” Victor raised an eyebrow at me, like he somehow had read my mind.
“I think my batter is ready. Tell me what you think.” I grabbed the spoon I was using to mix and whipped it towards Victor, a bunch of brownie batter landing on his neck and face. “Yummy, right?”
Victor paused, his eyes closed, taking a deep breath as he wiped the chocolate from his face. For a moment I thought he would just scream at me and storm away. I had something quite different.
“Not quite ready yet.” He took the flour bag and dumped it all over me. “It needs more flour."
“Are you sure?” I gave him a defying look, after wiping some of the flour off me. “Have another taste.”
And I did the unthinkable. I took my mixing bowl and poured it all over his shirt and pants.
“For the record,” Victor said after recovering from the initial shock, “you were the one who started this.”
I really can’t tell who threw what next, but the next thing I know is we were in full battle mode, ingredients flying everywhere. Victor got a clear advantage when he remembered he had some eggs close by. Thankfully, I was quick to react and managed to avoid being bombarded by opening the fridge door and hiding behind it. And that’s when I saw it. The can of whipped cream I had bought to garnish the other brownies, and that Victor had refused to use because food in a can is unacceptable. Well, I would put it to good use now. I emerged from behind my improvised shelter, shaking the can vigorously.
“Now, if you’re smart,” I pointed the nozzle at him, “you’ll admit defeat and walk away.”
“If you were smart”, he walked confidently towards me, “you’d know it takes a lot more than whipped cream for me to fold.” Before I could react, he grabbed both my wrists and made me twirl, holding my arms behind my back, the can forgotten on the floor. “Now admit defeat.” He whispered in my ear, from behind me.
“Oh, bite me.” I scoffed.
He didn’t waste a second. He took my earlobe in his mouth and bit it hard.
“Satisfied?”
I gave him a daring look.
“Harder.”
Bigger Brownies to Bake
My defiance was like a trigger in Victor’s mind. He didn’t give me any time to think or react, turning me effortlessly in his arms, his mouth taking mine in a passionate kiss. And just like that, our food fight turned into a steamy make-out session.
Yes, the kitchen was a mess, and Victor would be leaving soon, but none of the things that bothered us before seemed to matter at that moment, as we focused solely on each other and the way we felt, the world a blurry notion in the back of our minds. We simply gave in to our lust, kissing, touching, teasing, hands ripping clothes apart and throwing them on the ground. Victor was far from cold, despite popular belief, he was a very intense man, and loving him was just as intense. Every time we gave in to our feelings like this, it was like being swallowed by a gigantic yet pleasurable wave, only hoping we would come out whole in the end. We made love right then and there, on our kitchen island, too entranced to think of anything else. It was only when we came down from our high, landing in each other’s arms with a wide grin on our faces, that we minded the real world again.
“Oh God.” I croaked, looking around. “I think we took this thing way too far.”
Victor lifted his head from my shoulder, his hair covered with flour.
“You think?” He frowned. “We destroyed the kitchen.”
Our eyes met for a second before we both burst into laughter. Problems like a dirty kitchen seem so silly when we’re happy.
“Will you tell me why you have been so moody with me lately?” He pulled me closer to his chest.
“I haven’t…” I started defending myself, but gave up when I noticed him glaring at me. “I have been moody, yes, you are right.” I sighed. “I know this is stupid and you’ll probably make fun of me, but the idea of having you away for so long… it’s unsettling.”
“Idiot, it’s only for a few weeks.” He chuckled. “Before you know it, you’ll be taking the jet to meet me.”
“See? And that infuriates me too!” I pushed away from his arms. “Here I am, pouring my heart out, and you laugh! Like this is a joke, like there is no reason for me to be feeling that way, especially when it’s clear you won’t-”
He pressed his lips against mine, and as usual, my thoughts evaded me completely. His kiss was sweet and soothing, taking away all my anxiety. He took my face in his hands and broke the kiss to look into my eyes, his voice with a sweeter yet vulnerable tone now.
“You are usually so good at reading me.” He smiled. “How can you think I don’t care?”
His eyes were filled with such honesty that I began to question my reasoning as well. That man did nothing but love me, deeply, every day. How could I possibly question that? I watched as he lifted my wrist, holding the red ruby charm between these fingers.
“I carry your heart with me.” He whispered.
“I carry it in my heart.” I returned.
“I may not say much, but my word is biding. You never need to worry about these things, you have the answer to them already. Here.” He pointed at my bracelet. “Here.” He took my left hand, kissing my ring finger. “And hopefully, here.” His hand rested on my chest. “Even when this gets you in trouble.” He tapped my forehead with a smile. “I give all these reminders and still you forget? You are in dire need of those memory supplements.”
“Damn it.” I shook my head. “You won.”
“No, the terms were that the best brownie would win. We didn’t get to bake them.”
“You wanted to prove to me that you are perfect.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And you did. You are absolutely perfect. At least for me.”
“Well, that being the case…” He came closer, brushing his lips against mine. “I think we have a tie.”
The kitchen was pristine clean when Owen came from school, and our little adventure became our secret, a private joke we shared in our moments of intimacy. Another proof that, even in chaos and uncertainty, we would always find each other.
This project has been going for a year now (it started in February 2020) and it won't be over any time soon, so I would like to ask you, as much as possible, for your support, because we still have a very long way to go. So, if you enjoy the work, don't forget to comment and reblog. It gives it traction and enables other people to learn about it, and for me to get more excited about what I do.
#victor mldd#mlqc victor#love and producer fanfic#li zeyan#Growing Pains - Series#growingtogether#victor x oc
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So a couple of months ago, I saw a YouTube video that was an audio recording of season 5, episode 6 of Bojack Horseman, “Free Churro.” In the episode, the main character, Bojack Horseman, spends 20 minutes giving a eulogy at his mother’s funeral. There’s one big problem though, his mother was an abusive bitch. His eulogy is him trying to contemplate what she meant by her drying words, “I see you,” and whether or not she loved him. As someone who has a dead parent who was abusive, this is probably my favorite episode of any show ever for how much it helped me understand my feelings. The comments section is filled with people sharing their pain with their abusive families, but one comment stood out to me above all the others by how raw and relatable it was. This comment was by a YouTuber named Moonstruck. At the bottom of this post is a link to her channel. Please support her. After reading this, she deserves a million subscribers. Also please watch Bojack Horseman. (I corrected some of the grammatical errors to make it easier to read)
Disclaimer: Child abuse, bullying, trauma, and mental health:
Moonstruck:
This is a great monologue, but one part of it, in particular, really caught my attention was the 'grand gesture' bit.
When I was a kid, I read this book called "Chicken Soup for the Soul." There's a shitload of them. I don't remember which particular one it was. I hated the whole series because it's just someone profiting off a bunch of other people's stories rather than trying to write their own, in my opinion.
Anyway.
This one story that I remember, the ONLY one I remembered, was sent in by a little girl. She wrote about how her father never told her that he loved her. He never once, in her whole life, said the words "I love you." I don't remember her mom being mentioned, maybe she was dead; it doesn't matter. The point is her dad was basically an emotionless asshole. Well, one day, this girl gets sick. Really sick. Possibly on her deathbed sick. She wrote that one day she woke up to find a necklace sitting on her nightstand that had a pendant that looked like her dog. She said she held it to her heart and cried because that necklace said all the things her father never had.
I thought, "What a load of bullshit."
A cheap trinket doesn't make up for years and years of emotional neglect. Anyone can buy a thing and toss it your way. Hell, he didn't even hand it to her himself, just left it there for her to find if/when she woke up, then left her alone again to possibly die.
A lot of people say that actions speak louder than words, in cases like political protests and shit. While that's true, scenarios that this that girl are different. Gifts can never replace the words, "I love you."
When I was a kid, my father never told me he loved me. My mother didn't either, but she's a whole other kettle of fish. I would say 'my biological mother or father,' but I never got adopted ones, so who gives a shit. Anyway. My father was rarely around, and when he was, he just spent the entire time fighting with my mother and leaving again. He would do and say anything that could get him to spend less time in the house with her. With us. I can't blame him. If I could've left during those times, I would have. I tried more than once. I even earned the nickname 'runaway' from a family friend because of it.
I was told that I was worthless as early as I could understand words. I don't know what it is about me that set my mother off, but she HATED me. I was always told how expensive I was to keep alive and how I wasn't worth it. If I dared ask for anything, she would remind me how much she spent just to keep me from starving to death and that it was too much already. On the rare occasion I was given something, it was so she could use it as a threat. She was like, "Sure, you can have that toy horse since we got your sister a real one, but you better behave or we'll give it to her and let her break it." Or "Oh, fine, we can keep this dog as a FAMILY pet (NOT YOURS), but if you do something we don't like, we'll take it away and kill it."
Oh, yeah. I have a sister. She’s cut from the same cloth as our mother. I don't consider any of them family anymore. She was two years older than me. She was the "we should have stopped while we were ahead" kid. Anything she wanted, she got.
"Mom, can I have an award-winning horse and expensive dressage lessons?"
"Sure!"
"Mom, can I have a car?"
"No problem!"
"Mom, can you pay for my ballet lessons?"
"Absolutely!"
She was the golden child. The one that could do no wrong and wasn't a mistake. Even after she totaled her car, got arrested for an underage DUI, and got pregnant three times in high school, she was still the good one. I never even asked to go to school dances, parties, or go out with the one friend I had. My sister liked to see me in pain. She'd tell our mom that I did things just to get me in trouble. Whether it involved blaming me for things she did or fabricating stuff, she'd say whatever it took to get my mother to beat me while she watched and laughed. Oh, yeah, our mom was BIG on physical punishment. I've been whipped with everything from a riding crop, a wooden paddle, spoons, and especially belts. Anything that was close at hand when my mother got irritated, I've been hit with it.
At one point, my sister had three tall, beautiful show-worthy horses. I was allowed to keep a sickly old pony for all of a week before she was taken away, then I'd get called ungrateful for asking why we had to get rid of HER instead of one of the horses. Even though my mother said it cost too much to keep them all. With horses being obviously too rich for my blood, I asked for something cheaper, and for once, I got it. I was given a baby goat that one of our neighbors' goats had abandoned for being too weak, and they didn't have time to raise. I loved that goat. I bottle raised him, and named him Ben. He was my best friend for a while. When he grew up, he got so big that I was able to stand on his back to grab tree branches and pull them down so he could eat the leaves. I walked him on a leash like a dog every day. I loved him so much. My mother had me enter him in a show, and we won ninth place! I was thrilled to have something to show against my sister's collection of dressage show ribbons. I finally had proof that I could do something right! Sure, the prize money was taken away from me, but I still had Ben.
But Ben didn't come home with me after the show. It turns out he was sold to a slaughterhouse because that show was for meat goats. I didn't know until he was already gone. Of course, my mother punished me for being upset and even forced me to write a thank-you card to the people who bought his meat.
My mother was always like that. Anything I loved was used as a threat. I eventually accepted that loving anything was a waste of time. I learned to detach myself from my feelings, and I got really good at it. I can completely turn off my emotional reaction to anything. One time I had to put down one of the egg-laying hens at work that got too sick to save, and I felt nothing while bringing down the ax. When I lost out on a job that could have changed my life, I told myself how stupid it was to hope for anything good. Any positive emotion I felt got me punished, so I learned to feel nothing at all. To this day, I still have trouble feeling things, even when I want to. I'm taking pills now, and they help, sometimes.
I've had several suicide attempts. I keep a box of razor blades in my desk just to have them close. I got a tattoo of a heart with rainbows on my wrist. Partially for LGBT solidarity, but mostly to remind myself that there is still beauty in the world. I still struggle with wonder if I actually believe it or not.
I've tried so hard to be a good kid. I never partied, never drank, never smoked even when the chances were there, and I would have greatly loved anything to make the pain stop or even just dull it a little bit. I was in the gifted and talented program at school and was able to graduate at fifteen. For a while, I was sent to a children's home where I was passed around to many people I didn't know, including a clown who I may or may not have actually been related to, until I eventually wound up out here where I am now. It's all pretty hazy, and the details get scrambled.
It's been 10 years since I've had contact with my mother and sister. I can't even keep in touch with the one friend I had, even after I lived with her. She's tried to reach out to me, but I just… can't. I try, but I can't. Sometimes, I can almost pretend that my past wasn't real. It's just a hazy fog that isn't really there. I want to believe that if I don't allow something, or someone, who was part of that past, someone tangible and real, into my life again, then the fog will go away. This is why I can't do it. I know I'm a terrible friend. Ariel, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. You're better off without me in your life anyway.
I typed all of this out because sometimes, about fifty dollars or so shows up in my PayPal from my father's email address. I don't know if it's from him or from her using his email, but it doesn't matter either way. The point is I know my mother is the one sending the money.
I know my mother likes to think she's a good person. She went to church every Sunday, and probably still does. She organized a lot of church events and participated in every church function. I had to be an altar server for several years until I aged out of it and was in the choir. She kept going to that church even after the priest got drunk, called me many horrible names in front of everyone, and was revealed to be a pedophile that raped a little boy at gunpoint. She probably still goes to that same church and organizes things. She likes being in charge. She likes having people look at her and say, "That there is a good person."
But are you, though, Mom? Are you really a good person? Were you a good person when you hit me? When you lied to me? When you laughed with my sister about how much I got hurt for things I didn't do? Were you a good person every time you told me you'd kill my cat or leave my dog at the pound? Were you a good person when you sold Ben to be eaten, knowing that I loved him? Were you a good person when you made me read "A child called It" and told me that you'd start doing the things in that book to me if I didn't behave? Were you a good person every time you told my father I was a liar whenever I tried to tell him what you were doing to me? Were you a good person when you told me I wasn't worth the cost of being alive? Were you?
Fuck you, Mom! Keep your fucking money! A necklace on the nightstand isn't enough. A trinket can't heal years and years and years of abuse and hurt. You can't hide these scars under dollar bills. I hope you die alone. I know I probably will, but I don't even care anymore. I lost the ability to care thanks to you. You can't make up for the things you did and the things you didn't say now. Too little, too late!
#child abuse#abuse#domestic abuse#family#survivor#YouTube#bojack horseman#forgive#mom#mother#friend#friends#story#personal#chicken soup for the soul#free churro#monolouge#father#dad
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Let Your Hair Down (chapter iii)
Get caught up with the Let Your Hair Down Masterlist!
word count: word count: 1,624
story summary: Harry gets more than he bargains for when he falls not only for you but your little girl as well.
chapter summary: You run into Harry again when you least expect it but when you need him the most.
warnings: language as per usual.
>>><<<
It'd been three weeks since the cookout at Mitch and Sarah's. Three weeks since you had made the big move and three weeks of being absolutely lost every single time you left your apartment. You had no idea how people got around in this damn city but you suspected them all of being wizards. There's no way someone could figure out how to use the subway and not know magic. You had already taken the wrong one 3 times on the way to drop Thea off to her first day at her new school and if you didn't find out where you were going in the next hour you'd be late not only to drop her off but to your new job as well.
"Okay, sunshine let's get going before momma gets us lost again and you're late." You said as you handed her the breakfast muffin and juice box you had ordered for her at the Starbucks you managed to stumble upon. You wanted to take her out to a nice breakfast, somewhere that had pancakes, which were her favorite, as a celebratory meal before her first day but unfortunately you getting lost 3 times meant you had to quickly change your plans.
She nodded as she took a bite of the muffin you were regretting giving to her in the first place. It looked like it had definitely seen better days but she was hungry and you had no time to stop and get a better meal. At least your 5 shot espresso iced latte was decent and it would definitely kick your ass in gear.
You started to frantically look in purse for your phone as you both walked down the crowded street. You knew you just had it and the address for her school was in your phone notes. There was no way you were going to make it there without that damn address and your stress level was rising the more you searched and couldn't find it.
"Momma," Thea said as she tugged on your pinstriped pantsuit. "Harry!"
"Yes baby I know we're in a hurry but if I don't find my phone we're definitely not making it there in time." You were half-listening to her. Your heart slamming against your chest as anxiety bubbled up in you. You had everything in your phone. Including the address to get to your apartment because you still had no idea how to get there on your own yet.
"No Momma. Harry not hurry!" She huffed right as you found your phone and pulled it out of your purse. Your sigh of relief was cut short though as you walked face-first into someone. Of course this day just had to get worse and worse.
"Oh my god." You shrieked as the contents of your purse went everywhere. Your drink spilling all down the person you walked into but managed by some luck to not get all over you.
"I'm so so sorry!" You bent down quickly trying to desperately shove everything back into your purse, not even looking at the person. Embarrassment wasn't even close to the right word. You were on the verge of tears, you just wanted today to be perfect and so far it had been complete shit.
"I promise I'll pay for dry cleaning or even buy you a new shirt or something." You rambled, your words running together as you quickly picked up your business card holder so they could get a hold of you and you could repay them for the shirt or get it cleaned for them.
"Here you go." You said, taking out a card and standing up, finally getting a good look at the person you ran into.
"Oh my god." You muttered under your breath. Fuck your life. You just had to run into him. Had to, because of course your luck was shit. If you thought you were embarrassed before you definitely were now. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and you hated yourself for being the type of person who literally cried over any small inconvenience.
You're a strong bitch, do not cry. Do not cry. DO NOT CRY. Your brain chanted over and over again as you stood dumbfounded in front of Harry.
"Well, I'm going to go die of embarrassment over there so…" You trailed off as you handed him your business card and tried to move around him but Thea kept you firmly in your place.
"Momma, Harry can help us find my school." She suggested before she took the last bite of her breakfast muffin as she peered up to Harry. Basically pleading with him to save her from your almost meltdown with her big doe eyes.
"I'm sure Harry is very busy sweetheart." You said trying to choke back all the emotions that were starting to get the best of you. You didn't want to admit you needed help, your pride always seemed to get in the way.
"'S not a problem," Harry said softly. His voice sounding like it was begging you to just let him help. You let out a small sigh before nodding your head in agreement and showing him the address on your phone.
"My GPS kept saying it was around a corner but when I get there it says rerouting." You huffed. "I've already managed to get us lost 3 times on that stupid subway, don't think I could take getting lost one more time." You admitted with your eyes firmly kept on the phone screen but you could feel his stare burning into you.
"Just the next street over is all." He said turning around and taking Thea's now empty muffin wrapper in his one hand, so he could hold her hand with his free one.
"Come on, I'll walk you to make sure you don't get lost again." He started to walk with Thea a few steps in front of you before you quickly caught up to them. She gave Harry the rundown of your disastrous morning but then moved on to tell him how excited she was to start school.
"Momma says that they have a playground and I'll get to play on it if I'm good and listen to my teacher." She beamed. She had been talking about recess since she first found out she was able to go to kindergarten.
"Well, I guess you better make sure to listen to your teacher so you can play today." A smile crept up on his face as Thea started swinging their hands back and forth together. She did a little skip as she agreed with Harry.
It wasn't even 10 minutes later and you were finally standing in front of her school. You bent down to her level and gave her a tight hug, kissing her on her cheek.
"Okay baby girl, tell me the rules." You said pulling back from her and adjusting the backpack straps on her shoulders.
"Don't be a jerk." You smiled as you heard Harry laugh behind you two. She was right it was one of your top rules for her, be a nice person.
"Share my toys with anyone who wants to borrow them." She continued the list and held up a perfectly painted purple finger every time she listed the next rule.
"Only you pick me up from school unless my teacher says so." Another finger popped into the air.
"No getting in cars with strangers." You nodded encouragingly, knowing she was doing a great job remembering everything you've drilled her on over the past month.
"And give momma lots of kisses cause she'll miss me a whole lot." She said holding up all five fingers before throwing herself at you, almost making you lose balance on your heels, as she hugged you tightly and gave you a kiss on the cheek.
"Good job baby now go have fun and learn lots of stuff." You smiled down to her as you stood and she turned making her way to the school door. She turned around one last time and waved goodbye to you and Harry before marching up the steps towards the door.
"Make good choices!" You yelled after her, your voice cracking a bit. You were having a harder time than you wanted to admit letting her go even if you knew she had to grow up at some point.
Your eyes started to blur with tears as you watched her baby blue backpack disappear through the double doors. You wanted so desperately to hide your emotions like you always did but the second Harry placed a hand on your shoulder a small sob escaped you. Making him pull you in for a full hug.
"She'll be fine." He said hugging you tightly and even though you didn't want to admit it, the smell of him was calming you down. You laid your forehead against his chest as you got yourself to finally stop crying but you pulled back suddenly.
"Shit, I'm going to have coffee all over my face for my first day." You sighed but laughed at the state of his shirt. "Really sorry about that. I'll have it dry cleaned. I'd buy you a new one but I know damn well it probably cost more than my rent." You pulled back from him and immediately missed the warmth even if he was covered in coffee.
He laughed, shaking his head, making his messy brown curls sway back and forth with the motion.
"Let's get you to work." He smirked, knowing that you couldn't turn down his help now. Knowing he finally had you talking to him for longer than 5 minutes. You gulped before nodding, after all it couldn't hurt to be friendly, right?
#Harry Styles#Harry#Harry Styles x Reader#Harry Styles x You#Harry Styles x Y/N#Harry Styles Fanfic#Harry Styles Fanfiction#writitng#fanfic#mine#LYHD
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A chance meeting
Synopsis: When your huge crush and famous hitter Lee Jeno walks inside your uncle’s store, will it become the chance you needed to get closer?
Word Count: 2,1 k
Genre: Hogwarts au!, fluff
Warnings: none
Member: Jeno
A/N: Ayeeee it’s October! I’m not too good with horror stuff, so I thought I’d just write something a little magical and fun! I hope you enjoy!
You released a long sigh, stretching your hands over your head like a cat to relieve some of the tension on your shoulders. You pushed your glasses further up your nose, grabbing your quill on your hand and getting back to work. Your hand flew across the paper and you barely had the mind to spell the words correctly. You knew you were just writing down information at this point, but you didn’t have it in you to care. History of Magic was dull, the professor was literally ancient and this assignment was stupid.
It was summer break and since July was usually a quiet month, your uncle had trusted you with his store. His trip could wait no longer, July being the perfect month to hunt down the Greek Chimera that was plaguing his dreams. So off he went and though you were anxious, you weren’t afraid. He would come back to you.
In the heart of Diagon Alley, Olivanter’s wandmakers store had stayed within your family for centuries. Business flowed as usual, and when asked, you were instructed to say that your uncle was on vacation in Greece (which was halfway true anyways). However, you couldn’t pretend the job was a hustle to you. Wands, cores, wandmaking, they were all in your blood. The chance to get to know a world that was still away from you, intrigued you and you handled yourself well. The customers were happy and you were too, and so the summer passed.
Between your upcoming EDEMs and the work you did at the store, your summer was packed. And as September 1st inched closer and closer, your anticipation to get back to Hogwarts only grew. But at the same time, the pile of assignments remained on top of your desk at home, demanding your attention.
And so, you formed a plan. You would start with the more difficult, which sadly meant some of the most dull, assignments and once you had them out your way, you would continue with the more fun and interesting ones.
Which brought you here, writing down possibly the worst assignment you had ever written and trying to finish it as quick as humanly possible. At that moment, the store’s bell rung, signifying you had a customer. The sound startled you, making you jump out of your seat.
"Coming!" You called to the customer.
You hurried to the end of your sentence, pressing the period a little too harshly on the parchment. You wiped your hands at your apron, hoping the ink hadn't stained your hands.
As you moved to the front, you felt the tone of the room change. So the "work hard" potion you had made the other day had worked. That would prove useful in the year to come.
In the front of the store, you saw a mop of black hair, much like the ink that had after all found its way to your fingertips. He had his back turned to you, so you weren't able to recognize him. His hands were crossed in front of him, his gaze looking ahead. You realized then he hadn't noticed you come at the front.
"How can I help you?" You spoke up, offering a smile.
When he turned around, you first instinct was to gasp. But, you contained yourself, biting down at your lip and forcing yourself to calm down. In front of you stood the Lee Jeno, one half of Slytherin's hitter extraordinaire duo, next to Na Jaemin. Both came from old wizarding families, both were strikingly handsome and yet only one of them was standing in front of you.
You couldn't help but wonder where Jaemin was, the boys barely leaving the other's sides while at school. If you were being honest, you would hardly say you ever saw one without the other. And while Jaemin was loud, boisterous and fun, Jeno was reserved, quiet and studious. Among your friends your small crush on the hitter was no secret, but you had barely exchanged five whole words with the boy and you were pretty sure he didn’t really know of your existence.
So what was he doing here??
Jeno looked at you like a lost puppy, his mouth forming a thin line. You shot him a questioning look, which seemed to bring him back to reality.
"Oh I, um, I'd like a new wand, please" he asked.
"Of course. We need to do some inventory first if that's alright." You told him.
Jeno only nodded in place of an answer, his gaze fixed on his shoes. You brought out the big book from under the counter, its weight making you groan. If you had been careful, you would have seen a small smile crack on Jeno’s face. You turned the pages, finding the last one and grabbing a quill and a new bottle of ink. You started writing his name neatly under your uncle's handwriting when Jeno said,
"I'm Lee Jeno"
You couldn't help the blush creeping up to your cheeks when you said,
"I know who you are"
If Jeno was shocked, you couldn’t tell. He simply raised his eyebrows at you, but you just shrugged him off and continued writing down the date.
"So. What happened to your old wand?" you asked.
Jeno's eyes widened, the question a surprise to him as his gaze fell to his feet once more. He mumbled something under his breath and you cocked your head to the side in confusion.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that" you said.
Jeno seemed to be looking anywhere but you. He was now looking at a clock that was sitting on a wall next to you, his back almost completely turned to you.
"My... cat she... She thought it was one of her toys and she... broke... it" Jeno said with a sigh.
A smile was finding its way on your face as you were writing down the information. You tried to act professional, but the mere thought of Jeno fighting with his cat for his precious wand was too hilarious.
He started laughing first, which helped the first giggle to erupt from your chest.
"Look, I know it’s ridiculous, but she can be so mean sometimes... I don’t know how she does it!" Jeno said, running a hand through his hair.
You chuckled, nodding knowingly.
"My owl bites my ear just for the fun taste of blood, so I think I get what you mean" you tried to joke.
Jeno's smile was an easy one, but there was something about the way he was looking at you that made you uneasy.
"I'd like to know the details of your last wand please" you said.
"Uhm I think it was 8 inches, elm with a unicorn hair core. Pretty flexible." he answered.
"Nice, and when did you buy it?" You asked again.
"First year in Hogwarts. So, a couple of years ago" he said.
You wrote down the year quickly, ready to ask the next question.
“You bought it from here?” you asked, turning your quill around to show the store.
Jeno nodded, and you ticked the next box, before proceeding to the next question.
"Was it hard for you to find a wand the first time around?" You asked.
"No. It took a couple of tries but I wouldn't say it was hard" he said.
You nodded at his words, rubbing your hands together in preparation. Your mind was running with possibilities, wands, cores, lengths and everything in between.
"Okay so, I'm not an expert, I'm just filling in for my uncle but I'm going to go around and find some choices so we can see what sticks, is that alright?" You asked.
Jeno gave a nod, sitting himself in one of the chairs next to the window. You wondered the rows upon rows of wands, trying to find a couple propositions for Jeno. You grabbed a few, going back front to show them to him.
"Let's start with this one. These are all a bit longer since you've gotten older, I hope you don’t mind" you said.
Jeno shook his head, taking the wand in his hands.
"Its unicorn hair again, but holly this time" you told him.
Jeno moved the wand around a little, then turned to you with a small shake of his head. You offered him another wand, which he took in his hands.
"Dragon heartstring. 10 inches, flexible. Ash. How does it feel?" You asked.
"I don’t think this is the one" he said simply.
You went through a couple more wands, Jeno swirling them around but with no result. As you were handing him a Phoenix core elm wand, an idea popped in your mind. You put the wand back on the counter, raising one finger in Jeno’s direction to signal him to wait.
"Wait. I have an idea" you said.
Shuffling in the shelves on top of shelves of wands, you looked for a specific one you had in mind. Your uncle had just made it a few weeks before his departure, placing it near the back as you often did for the newer wands.
"Aha!" You called, carrying the wand back to Jeno.
"I just remembered about this one. I wanted you to try it." You said, offering the wand.
Jeno took the wand in his hands and immediately, golden sparks flew from the tip.
"I knew it!" You said, smiling wide.
"So what's this one?" Jeno asked.
"Its unicorn hair again. 10 inches but ash and a little inflexible. But it works! So yay!" You said.
"It does work. It feels... heavy in my hands though" he said, moving the wand around in his hand.
"It’s going to take a little getting used to. It's a new wand after all and you have to meet each other first!" You reassured him.
"You're right, I guess.... I just realized I never asked your name?" He asked.
"It's Y/N" you said, your smile faltering a little. So he didn’t remember you.
"Why do I feel like I've seen you before?" He asked, more himself than you.
"I... I'm a Gryffindor? We had potions together last year" you tried to spark his memory.
And Herbology the year before that. And Charms the year before that. You thought. You were disappointed, there was no hiding that…
"Oh?" Jeno said, letting out a startled sound. "I... I'm sorry about that, it's hard for me to remember faces... It's hard to speak to people too, although people keep coming up to me. I guess I'm too antisocial to be famous"
A nervous laugh came from Jeno and you nodded at his words. It did bother you that he didn’t remember you at all, but then again, the entire castle was fighting to be his friend.
At that moment, you decided you liked this Jeno best. Quiet but open, timid but kind.
"That's alright. You know who I am now" you said, giving him a small smile.
Jeno smiled back, his eyes getting smaller and you felt your heart fluttering at the gesture. You told him the fee for his new wand and he placed the coins nearly on top of the counter that was separating you.
"I guess I'll see you around, Y/N" he said, taking a step towards the door.
There was something about the way he said it. Could it be the way he was looking directly at your eyes? Could it be the way he turned around so suddenly? Could it be the way you caught his fists tightening at his sides? Or was it the way he was biting on the inside of his cheek?
It didn’t matter. Your heart was flying and you knew, oh you knew it well. You were screwed.
"I guess you will" you replied.
"I... Are you doing something tomorrow afternoon?" He asked, his eyes avoiding yours.
"Nothing at all." You replied a little too hastily, making your teeth sink in your bottom lip in embarrassment.
Jeno caught the action, but didn’t comment. He only asked,
"Would it be okay for me to buy you an ice cream at Fortescue’s?"
"That sounds lovely" you agreed.
Jeno smiled, his face changing along with the action.
"All right then. I'll meet you here around 5?" He asked.
"I'll be waiting." You said, returning the smile.
Jeno turned to leave, but you stopped him by calling his name. He turned to you, his eyes finding yours easily.
"I... Just don’t let your cat break your wand again, okay?" You joked.
Jeno chuckled, shaking his head a little at your words.
"Maybe if it means coming here, I’ll let her have her way with it." He said.
You had to fight back a gasp. You desperately tried to look for a witty answer, but it was in vain. He was already out of the door and you were once again alone.
But you would see him again.
"Until tomorrow, Lee Jeno." You said to yourself, going back in the small back room and to your almost forgotten History of Magic assignment.
#kafenetwork#jeno#jeno fluff#nct dream#nct dream fluff#dream fluff#nct#nct fluff#nct jeno#nct u#nct 2020#lee jeno#hogwarts au#nct hogwarts au#nct dream hogwarts au
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