#remember when i said id post my bullshit

[todayisafridaynight]

NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...

BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH

Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.

ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭

On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭

But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...

And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]

JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT

ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers

YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ

no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..

wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)

OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..

[opal-owl-flight]

No sign of Rain.

Not easy living with the fact that you hurt someone you just wanted to protect, isnt it.

More context under the cut!

Tldr: 3 realizes that forcing 4 away from the Platoon after Sploon2 the way they did wasnt the best choice. That forcing her to ignore what had happened had most likely contributed to her unable to cope with life beyond war.

(The comic above is from after Sploon3/SO! Situation described below is post Sploon2/OE.)

3 and 4 have been doing missions together awhile. 4s been able to handle herself well, but theres a moment where she trips up and gets hurt a lil more than usual. Like, its to the point where she needs to be taken off the field awhile.

3...

"|Im sorry.|"

"Heh? Three, if it wasnt for you, Id be dead. What are you saying sorry for?"

"|...if it werent for me going away when Octavio stole the Zapfish again...youd never have been dragged into this mess.|"

"Thats not your fault, Three. Cap'n called you away."

3 sighs... "|Still...you couldve been living a life where you never have to worry about your life being put in this much danger.

Or anyone else's life, for that matter.|"

4s the one whos quiet now, as she glances away. 3 does have a point... "...I guess so, yeah. But that wouldve meant that Id never have met you."

Silence sits between them awhile, until 3 grunts softly, to get 4 to look at them again. "|I want you to promise me something.|"

"What is it?"

"|When things settle down again, I want you to leave.|"

"....What?"

"|Live your life away from this. This danger, this war, this...everything.|"

"And leave YOU? Three, you cant do things alone anymore, you KNOW it!"

A clack of their beak. "|Im more capable than you think, Four. Dont think less of me.|"

"Im not- Im not thinking less of you!! Im just stating the facts!"

3s making a low gurgling noise. Its a similar sound an inkfish makes before spitting ink. A sound that says "dont test me."

"Three, Im not leaving. Its already happened... everything -- Octaria, the zapfish, the metro -- its all happened, and I cant just...go back after all of that."

"|Yes, you can. You still can. Youve a life outside this. Why else are you late enough that Marie has given up reprimanding you?|"

4 backs down...3s right. Again.

"...and what about you? Why dont you leave, too? Once...everything is stable."

3s ears droop. "|...theres nothing left for me. Ive thrown my lot with the NSS for as long as I remember. My team barely even recognizes me these days.|"

A silent beat goes by between them again.

"|So promise me. Promise me.| Rain." They rasp her name, making sure she gets the point. "|Promise me you'll live. Promise me you'll go back up there. You said you wanted to go to college -- go. Dont look back. Dont become like me.

I dont want you to become like...this.|"

They gesture to their scar. Their tentacles, forever stained marbled cyan.

4 can see in the gesture the pain they hid in their hearts. The regret. The guilt.

"...Tanara..."

"Live." they rasp, So quietly."Live. Promise me."

"I dont want to leave you alone."

"|Ive been in this war since Ive hatched, and Ive done things on my own before you were dragged into this. You deserve none of this bullshit.|"

"You dont deserve it either!"

3 grips her shoulders. pleading with her. "Promise me. Please promise me. That youll leave."

4 shakes her head. Resolute.

"Im sorry...I cant promise that to you. Youre my friend, Tanara. Im not letting you do this alone."

3... leans against her, defeated. Burying their face into her shoulder. Theyre shaking their head, clutching on her tight.

"...I-Im sorry, I...Ill be more careful next time. Okay? I can...I can promise you that much."

3 remains silent. Thats not what they want. They want her to be safe forever.

"...this really means a lot to you, huh?

Okay.

Ill...Ill think about it."

------------------------

She does eventually decide to leave. Things were looking up for awhile, and missions are much lighter. She can dare to dream bigger now. That and...she cant stand seeing 3 looking so guilty whenever she says something abt her life on the surface.

None of it is their fault. Any of this. But they still feel that theyre taking her away from her "real life".

When she said that shes leaving the platoon, 3s look of jubilation both relieved and pained her. Then a thought hit her, right there.

"...Wait...all this time- did you just want to get rid of me? D-did you not want to be friends anymore?"

3 shakes their head. "|Rain, I asked you to live your dreams as a friend.

Your safety would be guaranteed. Youd be able to happily live your dreams without worry.|"

"...Will I ever see you again?"

3 sighs. "|...hopefully not.|"

4 gasps.

"|No- no-! Not because I dont want to see you-|"

"Tanara, youre making it hard for me to believe that youre doing this for me. What kind of life would I have if youre not there? Not a happy one, Im telling you!!!"

3s shaking as they sign. Trying so hard to keep their breaking mask tight.

"|Im a soldier, Rain. And Ill likely be one til the day I die.

I dont want to drag you back into this mess. I dont want you to get hurt, because of me.|"

Why is it that they always have a point? 4 despairs at the fact.

"So this means goodbye..?"

"|Weve got some days left. Lets make them count.|"

A smile. A bittersweet one.

------------------------

These teenagers goddamn. 3 doesnt understand fully that shit still happened and one cant just leave and pretend nothing had transpired. Or maybe they felt they didnt deserve to have someone as good as 4.

Theyre ruthless in a sense that they know what their goals are. Their goal was to keep the world safe for everyone else to live. And if it means sacrificing their friendship with 4, so be it. If shes safe, their goal is met. Doesnt matter what either of them feel about it. (I suppose 4 getting injured really pushed them to make that choice.)

And 4... yeah, leaving was the smart choice for her personal growth, but agreeing with 3 to sacrifice their friendship wasnt the best choice to agree to. She felt like she cant argue 3 out of that decision they made for the both of them...so she just followed it.

"|Look alive, Rain. Your brand new life awaits you.|"

------------------------

Thats why theyre so flabbergasted and upset that she came back. It felt like that time they spent alone, that sacrifice they made, was all in vain...

"Im sorry, Three. It sucked being away from you. It really did. I failed to live there...maybe my life is really meant to be lived here. On duty.

With you."

Are they disappointed that she failed her brand new life? No, never. They gave her the chance to run away from it all, but she came crawling back after doing so. If she felt that her life is here, after trying something else, so be it.

Thats what convinced them enough to allow 4 to return to duty. Theyll keep her safe another way. They also cant hide from themself the fact that theyre happy to see her again after so long.

[pearlsongfromstuff]

I don't make these kind of posts on my blog I usually repost my fandoms and silly little stuff like that, but this is personal. If you are thankful that Hurricane Helene has destroyed towns in the south because they're red states, get the FUCK off my blog this instant and NEVER come back. Westerners and Northern States always preach for treating humans with love and respect UNTIL it's the south, the "red states", the "red necks", the "Trumpies" or whatever you want to call us. I can assure you, we are not all Trumpies. I was born in Florida and have lived in NC for 8 long years, and I am as "Democratic" as they come (for some issues, but this isn't about politics.)

If you keep saying "oh, you didn't evacuate, I feel no sympathy," do you know how hard it is to evacuate?! Id love to see you pack your supplies, your family, your elderly, your pets and whatever else you want to bring with you, into a car and go down a crowded highway to an evacuation spot, which everyone is trying to get to. And don't even THINK of trying to get anything? Most things are closed, the gas pumps are out and everyone is STRESSED. Evacuation is NOT EASY and the southern governments barely HELP. But this is the only solution, otherwise, you're swept away by the water just like our towns.

And speaking of the government, let's talk about them. Specifically state governments. The infrastructure of the south is SHIT. My mother's classroom's ceiling (she's a teacher) is falling apart because barely any funding is coming in. The most funding the school was getting was from a LIQUOR STORE, but they paused funding because they were helping fund our new fire station. And after it was built, they haven't continued funding. My father's school's ceiling (also a teacher) ALSO COLLAPSED the first week they got back from summer break. One of our bridges fell apart and that was BEFORE the hurricane. Luckily, my town wasn't hit, it was southeast, away from the storm, but it floods when there's a full moon, let alone a storm. The funding and infrastructure is SHIT. We were DOOMED before the storm even hit.

To the people of Boone and Asheville and all the other small towns and cities of Western NC, if you could read this, maybe never will, but it you do, thank you and please keep holding on. The Appalachian Mountains were the only thing keeping the storm from hitting where I am, in college, 3 hours away from home. To the every victim of this storm, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee and every other state, I'm so sorry you are not being saved faster, I'm sorry the state has abandoned you and I'm so sorry that everyone blames you for your situation. Please keep working through, you'll have to rebuild, you've lost so much, but never lose hope. Remember what you still have in the end of this, your family, your friends, your pets, and your life. Please keep strong, like we southerns always do in these situations. I hope that whatever religion you worship, your deity is watching over you... And to the atheists, keep being strong in yourself!

I remember Dorian knocking out our power for weeks, and me and my family being stuck in the humidity while we were getting no support. I bet everyone said that we "should have evacuated" too, but we physically couldn't, not in our condition. I just hope that people will get their heads out of their asses and help their fellow man, like they preach all the time. It pisses me right the fuck off. Keep your blue and red states bullshit out of natural disasters.

[regret-breathing]

complaining at 4am again: angry edition

its fucked up that not only can i not afford to have a room with walls and im forced to sleep on a painful couch acting as the live in maid/therapist to a woman i despise who behaves like a teenager, but i cant even get a job to fix this. like what the fuck am i supposed to do when to keep my current awful couch im sleeping on i have to be cleaning up after and supporting my roommate 24/7, but in order to leave id need extensive time to meticulously comb the atrocious job market in my city until some fuckass 711 will hire me because im not qualified enough to work anywhere else.

too broke to not be at the whims of this horrible soulless white girl, too exhausted to find a job, too disabled to have the work experience or degree that would get me said job, too useless to find a way out of this hell. all i can do is wait for her to get disgruntled over something minuscule and kick me out, or until i snap and tell her the truth about how i feel about her at which point im definitely getting kicked out.

im teetering on the edge of a looooot of bad shit right now and i dont entirely think im likely to make it out of this alive unless i won the damn lottery. brb developing a drinking problem in secret because im not “allowed” to keep alcohol in her apartment.

and hey, soulless white girl i live with, if youre stalking my fucking tumblr again and find this post, ive lost any remaining shred of respect for you and if you have any problem with any of this i invite you to come at me with a knife and see how that goes, because kicking me out and trying to kill me at this point will have the same impact. just know that without me youd have lost literally everyone you love in your life to your own childish bullshit if i wasnt coaching you through every social situation for the last 2 years, and i have more dirt on you than you can even remember so, good luck if you fuck me over because im a petty bitch who doesnt play around when it comes to my housing <3

[lesbeamofsunshine]

honestly I think it might be some kind of trauma response because the worst times this has ever happened have been in relation to my mormon upbringing* aka during interactions with mormons years after I left the church

i have this embarrassing tendency to laugh in awkward situations. the more awkward the situation the harder I laugh. and, well, today. I'm gonna be honest, that's about the hardest I've ever laughed. and I couldn't stop; it became like a reflex, like the hiccups. so uh. yeah.

[wearespecialuniqueandimportant]

Trump On Paska.

I'm Reading Losers In The Trans Tag. As Usual They Victim Blame Those That Can't Take The Victory Of Evil. And Them That Hurt Paraphilia Crazy And Couldn't Care Less Than Kick Such Lgbt Out Of Their Communities Are Pretending To Be So Special Oh So Oppressed Despite Oppressing.

Every Single Post About Community And Coming Together Right. Our Account Was Banned We're Minorities In Minority Spaces.

They Make Disability Into A Thing That Makes You Worse And Less And Cry I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!! Crazy Into An Illness. And Erase Paraphilia As A No Lgbt Thing. They're Ableist Sanist And Paraphobic. Blood Is On Their Hands. People Willing To Help People Willing To Help Are Important. That's Not Something They Want Though.

You See When They Talk About All This Organizing. All This Coming Together... That's Those Things Against Paraphilia. They Don't Even See Republican As A Problem. Just Crazy Because Republicans Are Crazy People And Need Help That Would Make Them No Longer Republican 🤪!!!!

None Of These Garbage Waste Would Join You On The Fight Against The Fascist Affini. That's What They. The Lgbt Community On Tumblr. Banned Us For. 2 Times. Like Reddit Like Cohost Like Discord We're Hunted By Them. Their Spaces Designed To Police Paraphilia Crazy.

There Is No Care In Their Souls. They Give Hrt For Their Kind And The Crazy Police That Call The Mental Hospital For Yours.

Who The Fuck Would Say Call A S*i*id* Number When The State Is Either Way Run By Those That Don't Care And Shouldn't Even Exist 😭😭😭😭. Individual Hands Would SHATTER This Waste Into Nothing.

Organizing More Like Police Bands. The Lgbt Police The Pick Mes The Woke Police.

They Gather All The Resources For Themselves And Say None For You.

So That's Bullshit They Claim Care Torwards The Lgbt. Especially When That's Just Manipulation Torwards Those Their Manipulation Can Guilt Into Calling The Psych Ward Number That Will Charge Them And Prevent Hormones In There. The Human Domestication Guide Agenda. In Front Of Our Face.

Remember. The Fascist Affini Are After You. Anyone On Their Side Is Dangerous.

They're "Unsafe". "Safe" Usually Used By The Police Btw.

They Validate Waste Paraphobic. Racist.

Such Waste Below Can't Make A Good Decision.

Might I Even Say Always? That's Paraphilia Crazy That's Implied To Be The Danger. An Individual World Without Government.

That's "Safe" To Create Rules And Villanize Those That Can't Hold Up To Them. That's Why WAHH DISABILITY HORRIBLE!!!! I AM SUCH AN INCONVENIENCE!!!! BAAHAAHH CRAZY ILLNESS!!!!

Once You Disagree You're A "Textbook Abuser" And Get A Little Discrimination From Those That Pretend To Protect Those Under Such Things. Betrayal. Abandonment. Mariakin Agree With Me I Deserve So Much Love. Helloo???? Mariakin Believe With Me That Is RIDICULOUS. I'm Being Abused Us Mariabunch Under Such Unsafety 🥺🥺🥺🥺. Safety A Sign Of An Overpoliced Group. Why Would The Horrible World We're In Be Safe? How Can You Feel That Way Hm? Disagree You Need Therapy That's Their Motto. And Therapy Isn't Hormones Or Transition. Understand <3?

So Really Oh Trans In The Trans Tag Scrolling Trough My Mariakin... None Of The People There Besides Us Mariabunch Love And Care About You. They Don't Accept You Once You Disagree Or Expand/Fix Anything They Said. Only Yes Queens. Us Bloody Angels... Got This Hammered Into Our Frail Figure...

Their Disgusting Posts Have "Empathy" For Those That Didn't Vote. Hahaha. We Have Bigger Priorities Than These Garbage. Centrist Ass.

Their Communities Are Capitalism. Are A Police State A Fascist System Of Their Own. I Bait Noone. Mariakin Understand And Agree With Me. You're An Abuser A Fascist. With Capitalist Goals.

[wolfisland]

also basically what happened with this dude, because id actually rather be candid about it because i fucked up, and thats not something i wanna hide either. i did fuck up. intensely. if you're familiar with me and previous urls (specifically bìfēy) you may have actually witnessed this

so timeline:

- ive known this dude (went by catboyfleas at the time i believe) since i was 13, which i consider childhood for me as someone who Does Not Remember Their Childhood. we'd had an on and off friendship because he's incredibly abrasive and rude and overall the reviews from anyone whos met him that i still speak to are generally "hes a cunt", and id been pretty vulnerable to this treatment growing up

- roughly 2020-2021 (????) i criticise a person (jen truëfaggōt) who, as far as i was and am aware, is not and was not bisexual and had no right trying to coin flags for a bisexualgender flag in my personal opinion when there were already flags made by bisexuals, especially when this person had a history of biphobia

- he accidentally misgenders this person by using "king" when telling her to stay in her lane, as said person used he/him at the time and identified as gay for men, though also tma. we were not aware that this would go under misgendering as we thought it was the correct gendered term

- this person is very upset which is fair and accuses him of misgendering, and of fucking course instead of apologising he doubles down on the "well i didnt know!" and im working to try and translate dipshit speak into an actual explanation for his actions, as this person accuses him of intentional misgendering which it genuinely wasnt. i cannot stand this dude anymore, and i will throw him under the bus for a myriad of reasons now that hes no longer around to essentially mock and gaslight me for sport. but he didnt do this intentionally.

however the lack of apology is in itself transmisogynistic and me trying to apologise for him and explain things is still transmisogynistic and didnt fix it. i am genuinely and deeply sorry for this. at the time i wanted to explain on behalf of my friend, who for the better part of 10 years id been constantly insulted by and belittled and had to essentially be a pr agent of in many circumstances, and i felt that as i'd been the one to initially interact with that person, it was my responsibility to try and fix the situation. we are no longer and will never be friends again.

it was not my role to apologise for him or explain his actions, and i should have cut him off as people suggested. i was pretty strongly attached to him due to him being one of the only people whod stayed part of my life and defended me when i was being abused by my parents and partners, and i felt i owed it to him to try and fix this. i didnt really have anyone else i knew irl, and i truly did not think he had poor intentions, but actions do speak louder and continuing to make excuses for him contributed to the damage he'd already done.

- the situation later devolves into all of the attention and blame being shifted onto me, as he just logged out essentially after continuing to double down on how he never meant it as misgendering as he couldnt have known - iirc he claimed he wasnt even aware you could be tma and still be mlm in any capacity.

i end up being held accountable for his actions, and i believe this person actually at a point called me a dog? like a lot of it was very very peppered with antiblackness and bimisogyny — something she ALSO had a history of, and i will not back down on that, there was definitely warranted criticism for my actions, but i was treated with far more hostility and bad faith than he was, and after not long at all i was the sole target of criticism (rather than him) until a callout was later posted for the person, revealing she wasnt even transfem, and proving she'd been racefaking as well.

however that callout also ended up being filled with absolute baseless BULLSHIT theorising about other completely uninvolved people being sock puppets of her, and this actively harmed those people. the authors of that callout never apologised and disappeared and i do not associate with them nor do i condone the flimsy and dangerous accusations levelled against uninvolved people.

i did not write the callout but my testimony was involved, and i actively condemn the majority of the callout. it hurt others. i didnt want to hurt other people like that, i cant imagine how much stress they were under after those false accusations of being someone else entirely, and i am so sorry that they were dragged into this and subjected to that.

i wanted that person held accountable for her antiblackness and bimisogyny, as there genuinely is not an excuse for that, i didnt deserve that either. i absolutely deserved criticism for my behaviour and responses and i deserved to be held accountable and still do, but there wasnt an excuse to talk about me like i was some purposefully evil animal and the instigator of all of this and that i was aggressive and cruel. i wasnt. that was never my intention. ever.

i regret not nipping that in the bud and im genuinely sorry for my part in it. i should have listened when warned to cut him off and i should have never tried to speak on his behalf or apologise for it. i kept poor company and thats on me. i believe i have genuinely learned from this and i am remorseful for it, but i also understand anyones skepticism around my intentions or actions. everyone is entitled to that. just because im apologising doesnt mean im entitled to anyones forgiveness, especially not like... tma peoples? but the apology is still important to me. i am sorry. i do regret this. i will do better.

i have worked very hard to do better and Be better and i do hope that reflects. i care a lot about this topic and especially as a black bi woman. its important to me that i work to make sure people feel safe around me.

so. for anyone who was NOT aware of this and has no interest in associating with me further after learning it, i fully understand.

and if you were involved with this and have stumbled across this and were one of the people harmed by it, i am genuinely sorry. id considered reaching out to certain people affected directly but its been made very clear that these people do not want to hear from me or anyone else who'd been even tangentially involved in the callout and ive chosen to respect the right to peace and privacy. but please understand that if given the chance i would like to directly apologise, provided it wouldnt cause further distress.

[wikiangela]

wip wednesday

I wasn't gonna post anything until I get back from my vacation but I'm reading the prequel to "they both die at the end" and it prompted an idea of a little crossover sad fic with a tragic mcd ending and I'm gonna break my own heart with this one for sure �� (@thebravebitch said what I have so far is good and I trust her judgment lol ❤️)

so here's a little snippet I wrote on my phone bc I couldn't help myself and wait a few days 😂

______

His phone ringing wakes him up. At first he's confused, not registering it's his phone, since it's not even his ringtone. It takes him a few seconds to recognize it, and when he does, he looks at his phone and freezes, the words "DEATH-CAST" showing up as the caller ID.

He doesn't panic. When he answers the call, they'll tell him he's going to die in the next twenty four hours - or, twenty two hours, since it's after 2am already, they took their time to deliver this news. But he doesn't panic, he doesn't worry, he just freezes, and wonders if he should answer the call at all. After all, he's not even sure he believes in this whole damn thing.

One thing he does know is that no one will even try to convince him that he's going to die soon. They don't know shit.

*

It's not a new information that Eddie Diaz is what can be classified as a skeptic. He's not a believer in supernatural forces, magic, jinxes, ghosts, lately he even struggles with religion, despite his abuela's best efforts. Everyone in his life is aware of that.

So when this dude showed up out of nowhere claiming he can predict when people are gonna die, with no details or explanation, and give them one last day to sort out their affairs and say goodbye - Eddie called bullshit. He wasn't about to spend money on the off chance that they'll let him know when he's about to die. With being in the army, shot at every day, and even now with being a firefighter, he's aware of his own mortality more than your average person, he's already had more brushes with death than most people.

But he bought the subscription anyway, for his whole family. He had his parents, his abuela, his tía, and his wife trying to convince him, and they didn't succeed - he still thinks it's bullshit - but at least that got them to shut up about it. So, since then they spent thousands every year on subscribtions to this dumb service for himself, Shannon, and Christopher, and it was a waste of money, in Eddie's opinion.

And then, shortly after he moved to LA with his son, when he reconnected with his estranged wife, trying to see where this would go, but no matter what, his son was getting his mom back, and things were starting to look up again - Shannon got the call.

Eddie didn't belive it, but she did, and she decided to live this day like it's her last - which it ended up being, after all, but Eddie's still not sure if it wasn't some freak coincident.

That's what he's trying to tell her, when she's asking for a divorce that they don't have time to get finalized before he becomes a widower. She looks at him over the table in the little café they met, and there's nothing but peaceful acceptance, mixed with a bit of sorrowful regret for what she'll miss, in her eyes.

"Please make sure Christopher remembers I love him. I loved him, and I'll continue to love him from wherever we go after." she says with feeling, but at the same time she's almost casual about it. As if the prospect of dying within who knows how many hours wasn't a big deal. As if the only big deal is leaving her child once again, this time permanently.

Eddie can't take this. He won't believe this.

He still has trouble believing when he arrives on a call to a car accident later, and sees Shannon lying there on the street. Logically, he knows it makes sense, there's been a lot of people he's heard about who got the call and died, there's no reason not to believe it. But there's also not a lot of reasons to believe it, it might all just be a coincidence. Eddie's not about lose Shannon. Chris is not about to lose his mom. It's not fair. And he can't help blaming the stupid Death-Cast program.

____

No pressure tags (I'm on vacation and I'm barely on here so I really have no idea who already did it lmao) @panbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @jamietarts @shortsighted-owl @elvensorceress @translasso @alyxmastershipper @silentxxsoul @mrevanbuckley @buck-tartt

[viscerast]

hey non oomf. please don’t shoot the messenger. your ex would like you to know that their dni is set up like that (and it includes kins of their comforts as well) because they are delusional and are uncomfortable with doubles. also no one is friends with your abusers anymore, because harpy is dead. she died last august. not much to say on that one but thank god tbh.

hey noomf thank you for reaching out and telling me this. id like to preface this post that no ill will goes towards you, anon, but towards PF. you're welcome to screenshot and send this post to damien if you want. very curious on how you know damien/PF but. wtv youre anon for a reason

for context, this is the post anon is talking about. also for simplicity, i'm going to be using the names i remember everyone using, but strictly they/them pronouns instead of the ones i remember them using just to avoid misgendering, i know a lot of people had gender discoveries over lockdown and coming out of lockdown and PF is not free from the transgender beam /silly

i will not comment on damiens DNI any further because, frankly, im staying as far as i can from any delusion related discourse as possible. as a potentially schizophrenic person, i know how sensitive the topic of delusions can be, especially D/A's, erotomania and platonic erotomanic delusions. i still think its a bit off that damien, a singlet, as a core part of being a system in their dni but. thog doesnt caare /ref i don't know their story at all

quite frankly, i'm glad to hear that no ones associating with my abusers anymore. part of me was always a little worried for the remaining members of the group (especially the younger ones), i didn't want anyone to have to deal with the blatant toxic bullshit that i had. even if you lot had a falling out with harpy in some respect, i want to say that i'm sorry for your loss. i remember how close PF was in general, especially with harpy.

i'll tentatively accept the offer to talk with damien, but maybe later. maybe when we're more stable. i'll unblock them for now, because honestly i had no quarrel with damien, just that they were still associating with PF.

this, however, is not an open invite to anyone who associated with/was apart of PF to contact me. in fact, fuck the rest of you completely. stay off my page.

i hate how you guys keep finding our accounts. you almost put us into the hospital with the stunt ezra and karen pulled a few years back joining our personal server. to this day we don't feel safe anywhere we go, irl and online, because of how you guys acted. i know we weren't the best person, i know we were rude and lashed out and were generally hard to deal with, but we were fucking 15 or 16. we had known you guys since we were 13, we trusted your voices and opinions more than anything. if PF said the sky was red, then the sky was fucking red. we trusted you guys enough to give you our address. we were dealing with the horrors of being the only openly trans and queer kid in a small town catholic middle/high school ON TOP of having a slough of undiagnosed disabilities and disorders. and then going home to cope with how stressed we were and talking to our "friends". we should have turned tail and ran the second chai was kicked out. we should have realized earlier how chai had hurt us and cut ties with the rest of you, because no one seemed to care how weirdly romantic chai and i were getting. no one seemed to care about how weird ezra treated us, that the almost adult was jokingly calling the 14 year old their husband. PF actively encouraged our identity delusions and spirals. i was expected to have the emotional and mental capacity of a fully grown adult when i barely even knew who i was. i remember semi-frequently having our possibility of undiagnosed BPD (and potentially NPD? i cant remember if thats something they ever mentioned) recognized by ezra and harpy(?), but the fact that we were untreated, experiencing symptoms of the disorder they were sure we had, struggling to understand our emotions let alone regulate them was all thrown out the window the second we made even the smallest of mistakes. our bpd and delusions were used against us as a way to keep us in line, or when we were noticeably in a spiral we would have our identity delusions towards danganronpa villains invoked to encourage us to be cruel to other people- either members of PF or strangers on twitter.

tldr fuck peach fuzz. yall messed us up. sorry for the long vent/rant we just. really really needed to get that off our chest. we have for years and it feels like we were only able to heal enough this year to actually confront it and say something about what happened. there was a lot more than just this but this is what was fucking us up the most. sorry . i gotta go take a walk goodbye

[tears-of-boredom]

have eaten fuck all today. if I didnt fucking hate doing shit in this household id make myself brownies. but it feels so awful to bake when you know that you're hogging up space that someone else might need. and the sink is kinda full so id feel so fucking horrible if i didnt wash all the dishes and shit i used for baking. I fucking hate this house. and its getting late so id feel bad for making noise as well. I fucking hate it here. because all of these things i dont want to do are because i myself fucking hate it when someone else does it. fucking hate it when the counters are full of shit. hate it when theres easily washable dishes in the sink. hate it when people are being noisy in the house at fucking 22. hate it when they fucking leave any light on, because every fucking light in this house is bright as shit. I don't fucking get how blind these two are to need a light to see as soon as the sun isnt shining right into the room.

i swear that there was some positive post or something i saw recently that i thought really helped me stay calm in these situations, but i dont remember anything like that now. oh my god I hate living with people. it should be a fucking crime to force someone to live with other people for this long. if I had the option to move into my own place right now, you would have to pay me a lot of fucking money to get me to not go. like genuinely my price for staying here, if i had the option, would be at least a million euros. and at that point i could afford to move onto my own anyway, without having to worry much about anything. so its not like id stay even at that point. and if you said that I couldnt use the money to move out,,. tbh whats the time limit. how long do i have to stay here for the money. if its 2 years id probably take 10 mil. but if I had to live here forever, there is literally no amount that would get me to stay. like genuinely you could give me enough money to fucking end climate change and i wouldnt fucking do it. btw isnt that fucked up how rich people could legit just stop climate change but they just dont want to. controversial opinion but we should feed them to whales. wait hold on. why cant we just shoot all the oil into space? like all the fucking oil barons are like "ooh we need to get it out of the ground cuz were cleaning nature" which is bullshit and all, but why cant the famously space obsessed rich people just send the oil to space if its polluting the earth so much. its not like they fucking care about the milkyway getting polluted. what if we made a hole into the ozone layer again and just shot all the greenhouse gases out of it? i mean not literally all of them cuz earth would freeze over but you know, all the surplus. and why not get rid of some extra while we're at it, make the earth cold but still livable. or maybe just cool. i mean the drastic change in temperature would fuck up everything for a while but thats just natural selection doing its thing. maybe we can push all the billionaires into like florida or something, so the natural disasters are more likely to kill them. convince them that theres a bunch of oil there. wait no cuz the fuckers dont live where they make money do they. cuz they dont wanna live in the horrible conditions they're making people go through to exploit them.

anyway what was this post about? like,, me hating my family or something.

[lovphobic]

op deleted this post and i saw it on someone elses blog i was looking at so im not gonna rb from them bc that feels weird to me but i wanna share anyways

so like. i was and still am horrified of jeff the killer. to the point of a very mild panic attack. and then we have the rake and smile dog. i feel like id be briefly scared by them now but id get over it quick. idk ab smile dog tho i havent seen him in a while AND THATS NOT AN INVITATION.

and this isnt a figure more of a story. i dont remember the name bc i accidentally came across it and just couldnt stop reading and it had me fucked up for a long time like i even still think ab it now even though i know what it is now

it was the story ab how if you hear a knock on your window at the first of the month when youre trying to sleep dont acknowledge it in any way no matter how persistent it is bc something bad will happen (probably youll die. i dont remember)

and like i said i know its just a creepypasta by now and thus bullshit but i do sometimes still become hypervigilant on the first of the month when im falling asleep. leave my window ALONE

[macksting]

[ID: Twitter thread by Niles. "having to sit back and watch the same 9/11 propaganda tactics be used and be successful is making me go insane. (Thread continues:) "like I legitimately feel crazy man. Remember when all of Hollywood booed Michael Moore because he said the Iraq War was wrong? We're in that stage of this bullshit. (Image of news article titled, "White House walks back Biden's claim he saw children beheaded by Hamas. US president spokesperson says comments were based on news reports and claims of Israeli officials.") Niles continues. "Bro just got up there and lied to the whole world and the White House is Walking Back his statements. But it's too late because all they needed was a little media permission to go destroy Gaza. This is fucking crazy." /end ID of first post.] [ID second post: Reuters article titled "Biden says he has no confidence in Palestinian death count." Guardian article that says "Bush discredits Iraqi death toll report." /end ID]

Ultimately no matter how seemingly nice or goodly any US president is, ultimately their job is US imperialism, hegemony, and supporting the wealthy. You don't get that job by being a good person. You get it by being born into blood money, playing favorites, ignoring horrors, and buying in. And obviously the vast, vast majority of people who do so won't gain nearly this level of power, so they'll have sold it all for nothing. Addendum: Uuuuuugggggh I am reminded by my doomscrolling that there are people who conflate the Israeli state with all Jewish people, and that's cursed and bullshit and horrifying. This is a state doing state things. Please do not mistake me for a nationalist. I'm white as a saltine, I ain't trying to butt my head into internal discussions nobody should be listening to me about, I'm just trying to hold murderers accountable and wouldn't you know it but that pretty much means every elected and appointed official in the United States, among others. I just don't want anyone to have to read beyond this post in some mild panic fearing I'm one of those awful shitheads using this genocide as an excuse to be antisemitic. I mean, feel free to look at my shit and hold me accountable for anything I do wrong, but if all you need is a moment's assurance that this isn't ABOUT THE JEWS for me, or anything else like that, here ya go. Honestly if I pulled shit like that my Jewish friends would just punch me in the teeth. I consider it a good sign that they haven't. It's nationalism. Nationalism sucks. There can be nuanced situations, but ultimately our goal should be an end to states and nations and such bullshit.

[brighteyesredfire]

🌟 AI: NIRVANA INITIATIVE | FUCK MY LIFE

beloved sequel to aitsf it sure kicked me in the balls

I just remembered a google doc i compiled of my post game flurry of thoughts after playing this one and decided perhaps they deserved a little cleaning up and placing here. So Here they are.

TL:DR i liked parts of this game but some really big glaring aspects kind of spat on them and destroyed any persistent good will i still had for it in me...especially reflecting back on it months later.

/ spoilers from here /

To start this is largely a visnov so i wont be saying much about the gameplay, the qte's are what they are i have no strong preference for them either way. I'll mostly be commenting on the narrative here.

God Uchikoshi you really grind my balls sometimes.

To start off, the main twist. We all know it, the beautiful stupid DNA timeline twist that warps at the end and gives everyone a headache when they go oh god wtf is the continuity doing here actually.

After all has been said and done i don't know what the purpose of hiding the fact the story was split the way it was... WAS in the first place. It didn't really resonate emotionally with anything, it was mostly just a confusing 20 minutes of me staring at the screen once it happened. It basically lives in service of being a fun twist... but for what!?! the entire story forces itself to bend around this twist so the player doesn't see it coming (to its own detriment) and it doesn't even do anything with it. It's just there to Be A Twist.

You could rewrite this entire game with Ryuki doing all the past segments and Mizuki all the present somehow, and then just shuffle it if you wanted the presentation to be confusing to the audience lmao. But Bibi secretly being past Mizuki, i really don't know what we get from it in the audience other than LMAO didn't see that one coming!

The most this game gets from splitting the story like this ill grant it is that it does help make the audience almost feel Ryuki's dissociation more because some shit just doesn't make any fucking sense between scenes. The off kilter way characters will just say or mention something that completely confuses you as a player is fun but i don't know if its worth all the bullshit required to trick the audience 😭

The swapping also helps hint at timeline nonsense for SIMULATION THEORY stuff but you could also have just done that without the two Mizuki trick, hell just have mizuki and ryuki be literally communicating between the past and the future instead (zero escape fan jumping out sorry).

Ryuki can shoot someone else to save tama in the past to make the plot go, it doesn't need to be Bibi! Offscreen Abis psyncer #4 get over here like, lmao Bibi's existence just continues to horribly grate for me.

Speaking of, my next gripe, Bibi and Mizuki! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Starting off on a positive note, I liked the interactions her and Mizuki had actually, that is to say i liked them so i didnt really realise why i was so bored recalling them at first.

But it is simply because i don't really care…. about the designer baby twist or secret sister twist like did we need to shove another secret backstory onto mizuki for some reason? it felt. EXCESSIVE. to the point of it being nothing (getting apollo justice ptsd rn dude).

Mizuki could still have been experimented on as a baby unknowingly somehow (renju and shoko wake up) and i don't mind them wanting to explain her hulk strength but like i didn't need the secret clone twin and i was raised at an orphanage stuff.

Also Bibi being so similar to Mizuki personality wise, that they're nigh indistinguishable while playing is just kind of boring. I dont want mizuki 2… id rather a different new character…!?! It also just steals screen time away from... MIZUKI!? WHO'S KIND OF MEANT TO BE THE TITULAR CHARACTER OF THIS SEQUEL. AND ALSO IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE WHY THEY WOULD ACT EXACTLY THE SAME (EXPLODES).

Everyone and their mother has also complained that it just shoots her arc in the first game in the head, i dont need to repeat myself but oh my god bro. I guess it makes Shoko's abuse and Renju's distance almost paradoxically worse if she was adopted too because they would have adopted her into. A FAILING MARRIAGE, its almost cartoonishly bad now.

In retrospect i realise i liked Bibi and Mizuki's conversations just because it felt like caring dialogue between Mizuki and another character, and her getting a chance to be wistful or vulnerable for a few scenes in this game (that she gets alarmingly few of). The thing is, i would vastly have preferred she got these scenes with any other existing characters in the cast… that she actually has a developed relationship with, so it's like a sea of wasted potential. I don't care about Bibi!? Frankly i don't know why Mizuki kind of does!? She doesn't really know her either!? AHHH!!!!

Her one scene where she actually reunites with Date in this game is comically short and undercut bc the plot is fucking zooming by and cant take the time to actually do anything too emotional with it. BUT BIBI AND MIZUKI GET ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO CHAT ON A PARK BENCH. im so angry sorry. Bibi is just so pointless and i hate her twist i hate her purpose in the story, nothing would be lost if she was written out out of this thing to give mizuki a better spotlight.

Regarding Mizuki's writing in general in this game, it is kind of terrible. She can barely do anything with the time she has and she also... barely develops or changes throughout this game despite the list of shitzillion alarming things that supposedly occur to her during its timeline!? (because no one can change bc of the goddamn dna twist).

I wish she was slightly less chipper most of the time considering her 6 years suddenly being abandoned again, suddenly parent-less again without Date and somehow coping. Ryuki becomes a depressed alchoholic in that same time near her, WHYS HE HOGGING ALL THE DATE ANGST….? ITS ALMOST FUNNY.

I almost wanted her to be more similar to how she is as a kid, a bit guarded and combative (acting out or being hardheaded), especially to Boss. It would have been an interesting dynamic seeing as she's her new guardian (and literal work boss). It would make the moments she is happy or upbeat again stand out more. So many of these relationships between games just feel underutilized.

You could make her get along better with Pewter over Boss, bonding via shared trauma or talking about Aiba. Those early few moments they wrote in Ryuki's somnium with her hyping him up and thinking hes cool because of the tech hes made were so good lmfao, but there's barely anything else like them.

I think her hanging out at ABIS more than home after Date dissapears even if its awkward (ryuki, boss, pewter all in the same place) because it's preferable to being alone is so interesting as a thought… but none of this or how it effects her is barely touched on. IT SUCKS!

Let's move onto Ryuki, shall we...

Going into this game no one thinks they're going to like Ryuki over Mizuki, no ones thinking hell yes this new random twink is going to outsell Mizuki in her segments and writing, im going to be madly attached to him over any other reoccurring character in this game. Well Guess What HE DID IN FACT DO THAT. Thats how bad they handle the existing cast in this thing. Uchikoshi we have to stop letting you write sequels.

Ryuki's great, his brain is broken, his got an evil video game virus, hes bisexual, hes fail, he's gods special-est little psyncer, i could go on. The fact this is his introductory game means he actually gets to have a semblance of an arc, which compared to every other character in the game is a big win honestly.

On that note however, there are still downsides. His background is brought up then not incorporated at all which was funny, and i dont have a real problem with it. Though if they never called the masked woman, a woman, i would have instantly thought it was actually his brother, because as a stupid anime twist it'd make more sense than MIZUKI having one. and would have been. like. more interesting lmao.

Im resorting to writing au fanfic now in this review don't hold it against me but that is how much i dislike the bibi twist. You don't need to make his secret dead brother an ABIS agent either to take her role, he can just be fucking, vigilante man. Invent a good reason he didn't say anything to Ryuki here, its not that hard, maybe after his accident Chikara grabbed him and did x amount of horrible things to him and only after he died did he find freedom. Then over the next 6 years remember who he is, YOU DID IT TO DATE LIKE. LOL CMON.

His brother resents a choice he made blindly pursuing justice and it ruined his life. Just like a certain Mr Ryuki does in this game? Who is trying to cope with forgiving himself, now reflected back? Hmmmmmmmmm ? Cmon. Cmon. im giving this away for free.

I used to have an idea brewing in my head too over marco somehow being based on his brother, or having part of his brother in him but that would require some heavy rewrites like just make shit up territory now roflmao but ..! Yknow ! My point is we could have given any of this more relevance and it would have been probably better off.

Speaking of TheBestCharacterInThisGameRyuki, hes offscreen for some significant endgame time to the point that he felt almost like an afterthought, which was also amusing. Also, and perhaps this is due to the nature of the timeline lying to you, it just seems like at the end of the game hes just like dont worry. I got better 👍 and we then just moved on from his problems lol.

One of what'd be his most pivotal scenes is offscreen? We get the peptalk from Date after but its still kind of ridiculous. We don't get to see the depressed bisexual man see the guy he loves on screen again for the first time after thinking he killed him for six years!? Mizuki's Date reunion gets shafted, why is Date even in this damn game.

And, I mean Ryuki is probably still mentally ill and coping better after date has re-alived but as for how the timeline was resolved its just a little flippant regarding his emotional arc, it kind of peeters out... the fucking secret routes almost more of an ending to his character development lmao. Yet, the meta stuff is also underbaked, i wish it had more relevance in this actual plotline.

Moving onto the rest of the cast...!

CAN YOU FIX DATES FUCKING FACE UCHIKOSHI.

Regarding the others - Lien and Kizuna dragged Mizuki segments down considerably on account of they suck; they were both snore and nothing characters. Remove or redo them completely or even just tie their character development to OTHER CHARACTERS and not each others godawful ROMANCE.

Have Lien be more tied to his Gen, Date bestie trio (even his past with moma!? wow something for him to do in this game) or have Kizuna relying on Iris in her rough time after getting caught up in an explosion instead (and wow here's something for Iris to actually do in this game now too). Just stop gods worst straight pair ever written in these games PLEASE. U CAN KEEP THE DUMB PROPOSAL JOKE SCENE IF U REALLY NEED TO. BUT JUST HAVE LIEN GO FML…okay w/e and move on. stop this.

Mame as a character to focus on was great, Gen can be written less tropey and melodramatic so i dont fucking laugh at all his cutscenes but otherwise, he was fine. Outside him also being in love with Amame (stop doing this). I liked Shoma and Square Dad just fix his head its so hard to take him seriously, in my perfect world Shoma gets an older model and doesn't get hit with super non aging but i can let slow growth go…..for now…..

Tama and Aiba were great, i do think there needs to be some sort of resolution over Date and Mizuki sharing aiba now that hes back…maybe this is where marco can come in and be Mizuki's new permanent in the epilogue scenes lmao, (blue!) though she still switches Aiba in sometimes bc thats her ai mom… :)

At this point im dreaming up things to make myself feel better because i hate thinking about this games execution. All of this crap essentially boils down to, we had to sacrifice a bunch of shit to make our big twist work, and it wasn't even a good twist and i dont know why the fuck we did it.

Good aspects and characters saved it at times, but ultimately, this games feels like a waste and a wash and a sea of lost potential.

[coolsharkpirate]

"It does seem the Mweor community and every one in it did matter to me more than I did them."

that's such self-pitying manipulative bullshit.

You did matter to the mweor community. It just matters more that you were a Nazi. And it should matter more that you were a nazi. You're not going to garnish any more sympathy with that whole "pity me" act.

Imagine finding out your favorite coworker was a pedophile. It doesn't matter how many times they covered your shift or what your inside jokes were, they're a fucking pedophile.

And you were a nazi.

if you are doing this, then stop sending anonymous asks pretending to be someone "protecting" you from bullying. Stop engaging in conversations about you- you left, you're not welcome in here, stop yelling from the metaphoric parking lot. Stop posting in the tags, stop engaging in the community, go find some other cat sim.

Also quit making up sad reasons to gain any money from this whole ordeal and just stick all your items in the dumpster, put your customs on 0, remove the email from your account recovery and change your password to some copy/pasted random assortment of letters you'll never remember. If youre actually sorry, Make it to where you can't come back to this community.

Until you do that, all you're going to keep doing is pestering a mostly minority community because we were not comfortable associating with a nazi.

This is fair, I am going to stick up for myself slightly though because I'm tired of this and am finally coming out of a confusion fog since December.

I never idolized, agreed with, or thought Nazis were right. When I agreed to Fossil calling me a Neo-Nazi it was a snap reaction because I wasn't thinking straight, and thought Neo-Nazi was a term for someone who did dark humor, or stupid shit like thay. It was a fucking stupid error and after I said it I realized I'd never be able to fix it. I know no one is going to believe that, but that's fine. I know that I'm a much different person than I was then, have grown and learned internet manners, and I'm just going to have to accept I fucked up.

I have never hated anyone because of their religion, race, ethnicity, or anything, except fascists. You're right, if I found out my favorite coworker was a pedophile I wouldn't want to be around them, I would probably not be allowed to because I wouldn't just chase them off, I'd be in jail for assault.

Also I'm sending no one anons, if I want to send an ask Id keep my name attached to it, because I'm not a coward. I own up to what I've done, and I'm sorry I'm having trouble accepting consequences for something that happened a decade ago, which only seems to have come up because someone was looking to start something.

Also, making up reasons? I'm legit in the hospital, I have been since Wednesday, I am having trouble breathing, my SPO2 is in the 80's when I'm not on oxygen, I have IVs in both hands and one of my arms. I have an accordion drain shoved into my spleen because the abscess I didn't know was there was on the verge of rupturing, I am on so many meds and antibiotics, I am one step above being in ICU.

I'm sorry if I ever thought maybe I could get a little help out because this is going to be an expensive ass stay. I haven't seen Bean since Friday, because the unit I'm in is for at risk patients.

Here's some pictures I just took, just for you, because I'm in some serious pain and if you think I'm faking this, you can fuck all the way off.

[silva-exspiravit]

I’ve been thinking a lot about December 31st, 2013 - January 7th 2014. I was in the hospital in a coma from the drugs and diabetes and January 3rd and January 5th my heart stopped and I died. Not once but twice! Two different dates 2 days apart but the doctors saved my ass unfortunately. But I think to myself if I smoked a fat ass puddle of shot up id be right back to where I was. And honestly I’ve come so close to going back to drugs just to speed this process of life up. You have my heart and you’re gone forever so what the fuck is the point to keep moving on? Life’s a joke and I’d honestly be better off dead. Maybe if I think about you being with Michael more and you just being gone will eventually push me to the edge. You’ll always be more important and special to me than you’ll ever realize. You remember when I told you the if you ever have a kid with Michael that’ll be the end? Well it’s not happening as fast as I’d hope but none the less it’s happening. I wasn’t lying when I said that and again I wish it happened a lot faster but unfortunately I’m still here. But that’s a priority to me to fucking end it all and leave… you don’t have to believe me or you can call me a liar or you can say all i want is attention but when that day comes where you find out im dead I don’t want you to feel bad or sad because you’ve had plenty of chances to come back but you chose to stay with a bigger piece of shit than me oh and have a kid with him. Im looking forward to the day it’s all over. I used to say that to you because I’d hope you’d come back but after a while I realized you don’t give a fuck because you never came back and for the past couple years I’ve tried more than I have before without saying anything but I’m still here. But the more I try the closer I get to death. If it does end up working out and I do end up dead than you can’t feel bad or sorry or say you wish you could of saved me or some shit like that. You had your chance more than once and you chose to stay with that fucker so stay with the fucker you chose to be with, stay with the fucker you chose to be with and leave me dead. You can’t act like you care or youre worried but still continue to stay with the fucker you chose to be with. You’re actions speak louder than your words and your actions have showed me nothing but you could care less and you’re not worried, it’s all bullshit so why even waste the time to text it out? If you cared or if you were worried than you’d make an effort to check up on me. Not just post a post and leave it at that, I’ve become very observant over the years and will analyze every word you say and read it over and over again. You’re not fooling anyone, Leave the lies to yourself. I rather have you tell me the truth and it hurt than comfort me with a lie.

[zukaheart]

ID: A thread of tweets made by Melon Kid (@animegirlcrimes). The thread reads:

"fuck it whatever ill just air out my grievances now i dont feel like carrying this shit anymore

i joined the omori team in 2019, i remember being invested in production right away because getting paid to do dev work on a game i like is basically my dream

(1/whatever)

i went kinda crazy on it, i worked harder than i ever have in my life. i did not spend a second on the clock even slightly dicking around, i would regularly work like 12-18+ hour shifts just because i wanted to

people would leave for the day, come back in the morning and see me still working. by some divine miracle i somehow kept that up for like a half a year. i felt totally fine the whole time. i was flying bro

my smarter friend sensed something was wrong and tried to pull me away from work but omo resisted because at that time i was like her golden workhorse. anyway, fast forward to the 6 months later and i crash and burn out of nowhere i am straight debilitated

a lot of that was my own doing, of course, im under no illusion about that. but when it happened, omo suddenly started treating me like garbage. she didn't believe me, said i 'just didnt want to work anymore' and demanded a doctors note and i was like are you fucking serious

she would guilt me into keep working as hard as i did before despite the blatant toll on my body and say she expected better of me and would constantly downplay my illness

i felt miserable physically and emotionally, she made me feel even worse about it. and its like, this feels really shitty but fine it is what it is.

forward again to release, im really excited about the launch of the game. i put so much energy and emotional investment into this project, the thing i love the most about dev is seeing the game release and watching people play and enjoy the game

right before the game launches omo pulls the rug from under me and suddenly comes out to say she's taking back the royalties she promised earlier in the year. it soured the entire fucking launch. i couldnt even enjoy the one thing i spent a year working on and looking forward to

she goes on to say she put my royalties to a vote and said 'i thought you deserved it, but everyone else voted no :(' what kind of manipulative bullshit is that excuse me

first of all you are my boss, you know best what i contributed to the project, second you are a millionaire and i am fucking poor is this a game to you, third youre gonna throw the whole staff under the bus too? what the fuck is this

the worst thing is, i know someone who was fucked over by omo WAY MORE than i was. i wont name them (at their request), but i got like... basically the lite version of her fuckery and even THAT was personally devastating to me

i actually made a post like this shortly after omori released, but the entire team banded together voltron style and begged me to take it down and because im fucking weak i did

im STILL fucked up by the burnout i gave myself. im sore all the goddamn time, it didn't use to be like that. sure, my fault. i own it. but to treat me like shit and act like im just lazy? actually fuck yourself

i actually made a post like this shortly after omori released, but the entire team banded together voltron style and begged me to take it down and because im fucking weak i did

im STILL fucked up by the burnout i gave myself. im sore all the goddamn time, it didn't use to be like that. sure, my fault. i own it. but to treat me like shit and act like im just lazy? actually fuck yourself

oh, AND i dont show up as a member of the dev team on either their game website OR on wikipedia even though i show up in the actual game credits like 3 different fucking times?

thats interesting i wonder what thats all about

some other grievances: it was my suggestion to implement the survive at 1 HP mechanic for omori cause i could already tell players would get annoyed if they lost because he got mobbed by rng. wouldnt you know it, this also shaped the final battle to be as impactful as it is! wow!

the omoli character in blackspace was a thing that i pitched to omo and whose dialogue i wrote, it made me unreasonably annoyed to then see that character get used in promotional material for the game

you know that (in)famous aubrey school fight sequence? THAT WAS ALL ME BABEY. the base concept from omo was 'theres a bunch of aubreys because sunny has a crush' and i cooked up the scenario you see now and evented that whole sequence

(trying really hard to think of a game whose moral involves the guilt of hiding the truth of something wrong you did)

(and also explores the concept of being stressed out for being treated poorly despite working so hard for them)"

One of the developers of Omori recently shared their experiences in this thread about the treatment they had to go through during the development of the game. They're going through a rough patch at the moment. If you liked Omori, I think you should help Melon Kid out if you can!!

It's disheartening to hear that someone on a team was mistreated. Games are a beautiful medium, but the people who make those games come first. We've all got to work hard to ensure better environments for devs, and that starts with making sure they can get back on their feet!