#religion actually confuses the shit out of me like how do you guys just go “ok baller” and roll with ts

[grey-tumbles-and-falls-down]

dude, being a distant relative of cain must SUCK like i literally haven't done anything wdym im destined for hell like BRO

[myringtoe]

stairway to heaven 🪽 | lnds men

pairing: zayne x fem!reader, xavier x fem!reader, sylus x fem!reader, rafayel x fem!reader (separate)

cw: talk of spiritual beings and religion.

a/n: the basic premise of this one is that mc is an angel…like a biblical angel. i’ve had this idea for years so this is HIGHLY self indulgent. :3 i’d also love to expand on this if anyone would be interested in that. :)

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

just to preface this, this is kinda based on an oc of mine. but i’ve worded it so it’s still reader pov. :)

zayne 𓇢𓆸

legit didn’t believe you at first.

you’re gonna have to show him, full wings and everything for him to believe you.

so when you do show him, he’s astounded. zayne thinks you’re absolutely beautiful, while also being confused. he has so many questions.

one of the only times you’ll see this man speechless.

once you’ve explained how you came to live on earth, and how everything else works, he really doesn’t care about your supernatural-ness.

all he cares about is him getting to be with you, he doesn’t care what you are.

would be so worried about accidentally hurting your wings.

when you give him a feather from your wings that naturally fell off, he almost cries. it means so much to him. he puts it on his desk at work in its own little area.

whenever someone asks what it’s from, he lies and says it’s from a rare bird he saw while he was in another country.

xavier ☆

he LOVES it.

when you show him your angel form, he’s freaking out. (in a good way)

the minute you show your wings, he’s asking if you to take him flying some time. (if you say no, he gets pouty)

believes you’re the most stunning creature in the universe. will NOT stop complimenting you.

is so curious about your abilities as an angel.

then comes the questions about your origins and how you came to earth. when you answer, he’s completely fascinated.

genuinely thinks this is one of the coolest things to ever happen to him. his girlfriend is an ACTUAL ANGEL for christs sake! (see what i did there? ;))

is practically begging to touch your wings. he’s extra careful around the high points/bones of them. his touch is feather-light against them.

any time you’re in your angel form, he just stares at you in awe. he can’t believe that someone as divine as you, chose to be with him.

sylus 𖦹

another speechless one.

is terrified of “ruining” you. (as he puts it)

he thinks that because you’re angel, that he’s somehow going to ruin your angelic “innocence”.

to which you then have to explain to him that that’s literally never going to happen because that’s not how it works.

he felt like he didn’t deserved you before, now he feels like he REALLY doesn’t. this guy needs so much reassurance that he does deserve you.

(sorry if sylus is a little ooc)

after you’ve explained everything to him. he just wants to shower you with love. telling you how beautiful and amazing you are.

leads to a very lovely and very long night. ;)

he’s hyping himself up a little bit too, like ‘there’s an actual angel in my presence, and she wants ME.’

super protective of you after you tell him. he knows you’re fully capable of defending and protecting yourself, but he 1. doesn’t want others to find out and try to blackmail or take advantage of you, and 2. doesn’t want the people of the N109 zone to try and take the one good thing he has in his life.

let’s be honest, sylus has a cocky and confident attitude, which is admirable. but on the inside, he needs SO much reassurance. (which isn’t a bad thing)

rafayel 𓆝

this little shit.

he feels like he finally has someone he can relate to. with him being a sea god and all.

a mermaid and an angel…what a pair.

showing him your angel form was a mistake.

because now he wants to use you as a muse for every single painting.

literally one of the first things he asks is if he can use you for one of his paintings.

people would ask him who the person in the painting was, and with a totally serious face he would say:

“my angel girlfriend. :)”

and no one would actually believe that you were an angel, so it’s like a little inside joke between the two of you.

but seriously, he feels like he can trust you with his secret so much more, because he knows you’re hiding one too.

rafayel would of course ask the typical questions, to which you’d answer honestly.

he’s probably the most chill about it out of all of them. because he’s a “divine” being himself. while he may not have wings, he does have a fish tail and can breathe underwater.

he understands you the most out of the four.

[utilitycaster]

What is the d20 meltdown about? 👀 If you don't mind getting into it

I literally don't know other than vague shit because I'm semi-avoiding spoilers. I'm making this nonrebloggable because we're in pure speculation country.

From what I have gathered, people are mad because I think the Bad Kids kill the Rat Grinders (another adventuring group that's been set up as their bitter, jealous rivals from the start) and they want...redemption or some shit? This is absurd to me like this party was set up as The Enemy from the start.

I am 4 episodes behind so I can't speak to this, and also I admittedly have a rather low opinion of the D20 fandom at large for a number of reasons despite being a big fan of D20 shows, but: I just by chance watched the scene that I would say counts as a point of no return for at least some the Rat Grinders. Like, actually some of the most villainous shit I've seen on this show amplified by how petty and small and purely fueled by jealousy the motivation is.

My guess as to why the D20 fandom is, per whispers on the wind/texting my brother who is caught up/talking to friends not avoiding spoilers, having a meltdown about it is because people have this idea of Brennan Lee Mulligan always making capitalism the BBEG, or occasionally religion or politics.

That is untrue. He does hate capitalism, and that is a theme in the (real-world-ish set) Unsleeping City, but ultimately the thing Brennan sees as the villain is a willingness to hurt, exploit, and dehumanize others for your own goals and benefit. Capitalism and religious corruption are two major examples of this, but in the end, the worst thing you can do is kill people out of a desire for power, or attention, or spite. What Brennan truly hates is what we on Tumblr call a tar pit.

Now. My much more pointed analysis? Kipperlily (and presumably the other Rat Grinders) are deeply entitled people jealous of the Bad Kids, who aren't as academically strong at times but who have leveled up through saving the world at least three times. How many people does killing rats so much that you hit the high levels of D&D save? or even help? Like congrats, you're level 14 from killing rats real good. These guys stopped the fucking Night Yorb. Of course they get the fame and glory, you entitled, self-absorbed little brats. Do you not understand how this fucking works? This is underscored by the fact that they've definitely murdered at least one of their own and almost certainly two (and a teacher to boot) at least in part to get at the Bad Kids.

And herein lies my feeling as to why the D20 fandom is really melting down. Because the loudest and most unpleasant contingent (which is probably why the server is, ultimately, shutting down all discussion channels) have always struck me as entitled self-absorbed little brats who demand precisely what they want when they want it (and also have the literary analysis skills on par with the 3/4ths of a stick of Monterey Jack cheese currently in my fridge) and they're seeing, in real time, that in this story, they're the villain.

But: I haven't seen the next 4 episodes and I could be getting the details of the plot wrong (not the first 15 episodes though, and I do not think the Rat Grinders are going to make the world's best Heel-Face turn in 3-4 episodes, and at this point they're so clearly the villains that to deny it is to admit truly earth-shattering levels of stupidity) and so: nonrebloggable. I'm hoping to catch up this weekend though on both the show and the hot goss, and if I'm right this will become rebloggable.

ETA: I am caught up making this rebloggable but I'm actually more confused, because as my posts indicated this was not even like, edgy. Like I assumed maybe there was a twist where the Rat Grinders appeared to regret their actions or something but failed to do anything about it, making this a little bittersweet? but no there literally was nothing, they went into the final battle still like hell yeah we're going to be the living worst.

[chipthekeeper]

one last Acolyte commentary drop, just for me because i'm sure no one else cares:

- One last Acolyte night, maybe for the season, maybe forever. Will we find out? I doubt it

- I truly don't know what to expect from this. Keeping my hopes low. Haven't been too excited about it all day, so probably won't be let down if I think it's missing things.

- We don't get an episode title?

- They can't fuck with Vernestra. I'm gonna disown this whole thing if that happens

- (Qimir/Osha stuff in the previously on section) [exhausted sigh] Forgot I have to deal with this shit again

- I was about to get all excited and say, oh god the next time I get to do this it's gonna be Andor, but that'ssss not true. It's gonna be a show that we know fucking nothing about

- Dry your hair, freak

- (Mae freaks out in the helmet and Qimir gets possessed? by someone???) What the fuck?.....What the ffffffuck is happening?....Is sh…she possess him?? I'm so fucking confused already….What the hell? [incredulous chuckling] 

- [whispers] What is fucking happening? What? What?

- “The future isn’t fixed” Okay Yoda ((heh, foreshadowing))

- (Sol’s just sitting on the floor) Don’t you have a chair?

- “See you in hell, Jedi” [cackles] What a line. Welcome back, Han

- [lots of delighted giggling as the chase through the ring starts] Dude!!!....It’s not the Eye but it’s pretty sick…..Targeting computer!!

- [perfect Maverick impression] hit the breaks, he’ll flight right by…….okay maybe not right now

- (Bazil yelling) Too bad Yord’s not here to…tell us what the fuck that was

- Awwww she's going to be nice even to evil Pip. Why did you have to make him evil if you're going to be nice to him?

- [perfect Obi-Wan impression] Another happy landing…….And I don't mean that ironically. How are they so–

- (Mog appears) His face is…..difficult. I have to go yell at a cat

- Who’s this guy? Oh that's that guy

- “I think the Jedi are a massive system of unchecked power, posing as a religion. A delusional cult that claims to control the uncontrollable” Well you had me in the first half

- Alright, Mr. Shady Guy Senator. That's never gone wrong before

- (Osha and Qimir shit) [another exhausted sigh] I'm just not interested in this…..Hey you put your dumbass cape on backwards again

- Already a third of the way through and nothing has—WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!!??!?! OH my GOD…Holy shit. So that was..Plagueis. Right..? Oh, my g—as I’m saying nothing has happened [laughs] Alright Leslye, you got me

- (Vernestra trying to talk to someone but not Sol like I thought) What the–what? What? Who is she trying to talk to? [whispers] What the fuck….?

- Bro, I'm…….so scared

- [theorizing mumbles] So Qimir is being puppeted by Plagueis….who learned…how to do that from….Koril..possibly? And Aniseya?......doubtful but again I’m…so fucking confused....

- “Or we could climb” I was going to say, you can fucking climb up the side obviously we've seen

- (Qimir straight up disappears) The fuck? Is he even real? Everybody's thirsting over this guy and he's just like a dead puppet probably. That’d be really funny to me. He's like actually a silly little guy called Qimir but…gets puppeted…by this ugly motherfucker

- (Mae climbs out of the pit) And we've come full circle!

- (Qimir talks to Sol through his helmet) I’ve got PTSD from that voice now

- Don’t have your gauntlets on this time, you can only use your head. You have to risk getting your neck chopped off

- Ooooh! Oh, bitchin’.....Wire work hello. That was cool

- A lightsaber battle in broad daylight where they can't use a weird—very nice. Woah! Aw, why didn’t he chop his leg off?

- (Sol does that move to deflect the lightsabers) Ohohoho okay!!! Okay!!! Let's gooooo!!!!

- [creaky door groaning]

- Fuck fuck fuck…..Noooooo, evil Pip!!!

- (sister fight) This is some impressive shit

- So glad they’re not in the fucking Volume

- Well, look who's here. So Vernestra was in hyperspace again and we didn't get to see it AGAIN??

- Wait, is it Vernestra? Or is it someone worse? Zombie Yord. I hope it's Zombie Yord–no, he would come in a Vector. Zombie vector

- Short his own lightsaber on his own helmet!!!

- Gotcha, bitch

- Stab him in the faaaace!! For Yord!! For Jecki!!! Do it. I know I was mad at you for killing somebody last time, but you should really do it this time…..(he doesn't) of course

- No, Mae…Why? Wait ooh let her kill him. Ooh yeah, there we go

- “I want him to face…the Republic” That's not gonna happen

- (Osha starts choking Sol) Jesus. Okay….Dude. Okay [nervous chuckling] Hot damn….yeah this is way more painful than if she’d used the lightsaber

- (kyber crystal starts bleeding in the saber) Oh!!! Bleeding in real time and she's not even holding it in her hand!!!! Hot shit, oh my god. That’s fucking awesome

- Wow. Spend one day with a naked guy and this is what happens

- [there’s simply no way to describe the noises I made when the lightsaber turned red] YOOOOOHOHOHO. That’s. FUcking. Sick. Oh my GOD. The music!!!!

- All these Jedi gonna die too? Fucking shit

- What is that guy? Hellooo what species are you?

- Oh the hood up [scared groaning]

- I'm so nervous. We’ve got so many red shirts….and Mog

- Use the tracker? What?

- Use that light whip to fuckin’ take his head off. I'm ready. Let's go

- So cute they're back together, I hope nothing happens!!

- Oh that tracker. He has a name!!!!!

- Alright now what? Now we're just at a tree

- You two kill that guy and then go run off together. It doesn’t–nothing else matters, just get rid of this motherfucker [angry grunting] fuckin’ hell

- BAD IDEA!!!! Ew

- I don't like this….better be getting season two or I swear to fuck

- Tell me Pip was recording everything

- “They say I killed someone?” Killed a few someones……..well just two I guess

- Well we had one funeral at least……..This hurts man….

- “A pupil of mine, before he turned to evil” Ah eh oh! [Leo pointing meme] That was a very Obi-Wan line. God dammit. Don't Obi-Wan Vernestra!!! God that pisses me off [sad chuckle]

- Season two tease or we riot. Like you can't just say hello Plagueis is here and then—(shippy stuff happens) Ew, stop that! Stab him!!!!

- Gonna have to sit through years of this shit now. Ew.

- Here's Yoda! Yep [laughs] Cute. So what is she going to tell him? Everything and he's going to cover it up even more. Yeah. Wow

- Alright. That was good and fun, but I'm upset and have questions still so….Pretty much what I expected

- That was a lot of fun though, and that's mostly what I care about for this. Lots of fun. Looked cool. Had me yellin’. I'll take it

[songofmadness]

Ok, Part 2: the Screaming Continues, I guess. Let’s have a quick look at the plot of NWN1. I’ve never actually played it, mostly because I was a bitty thing with no money when it came out, and now I’m old(ish) and the graphics are just below the level that my eyeballs can safely handle. So what I’ve been able to gather is from wikis and off the cuff mentions in various blogs. It was surprisingly hard to piece together, so if anyone can recommend a decent walkthrough, that’d be lovely. Alright, lets go...

Herein lies: an outsiders retelling of the plot of NWN1, with much rage-fueled flailing and confusion. There is a plague.

((This is Fine, I'm sure the subsequent games will at least take vague note of the fact that even a conservative third of the population suddenly dying is going to massively destabilise the economy and might very well lead to a decades long decline...)) Plague is being deliberately caused by BBEG1 Desther, at the behest of BBEG2, who is acting on behalf of BBEG3 the Evil Lizard Queen Morag.

(How do we know she's evil? It's literally right there in her name, in at least half the sources I tracked down trying to figure out this mess. She's a female lizard with epic teeth in a position of power! Of course she's evil. Also a slaveowner, because gods forbid we have a single instance of the Old Ones not being slavemongering shitweasels. That would be like having a Fantasy Desert Kingdom that isn't equally slavery themed! Can't be having that.) Desther's takedown leads to the remarkably stupid miscarriage of justice that is Fenthick's kneejerk execution. Dude just had shitty taste in friends, that really shouldn't be a hanging offence. But still, that's probably the best example of "medieval justice system" I've come across in any Forgotten Realms. Oh, were you standing adjacent to the guy who offended the Powers That Be? Too bad, good sir, you're dead now. And maybe your entire extended family with you! Fun.

Aribeth goes understandably apeshit due to her boyfriend's unjust execution (isn't the main religion of Neverwinter Tyr? Wut?), ELQ Morag whispers some probably quite reasonable sweet nothings in her ear -- "They killed your man, honey. Come to the darkside, we have cookies bloody vengeance!" -- and Aribeth nopes on out to lead an army of Luskans against Neverwinter.

Except. Why is Luskan now involved?? Other than the obvious reason: It Is Always Loki Luskan.

Long story short (and omitting at least six hours of me howling at my laptop), Luskan invades Neverwinter in 1372 as the grand culmination of NWN1's plot. Because.... reasons. IDFK. Why was Luskan even there? 

More to the point, why did Aribeth automatically seize upon Luskan as the best chance of achieving her vengeance? Because: 

1) she’d been in direct opposition against Luskan forces for ages, surely there had to be some kind of pushback against the Great Champion of Neverwinter suddenly showing up to take command, and 

2) Luskan’s kind of at a massive lowpoint right about then. Or at least they SHOULD BE. They’ve been kicked out of Ruathym (yet again) by the all powerful Lord’s Alliance, and they’re just finishing up a wildly unsuccessful five years trying to invade Mintarn and Orlumber. I don’t even know where that is, but I do know that five years of throwing your men away on nothing doesn’t leave you with much of a fighting force to play with.

Actually, also 3) This is right after Arklem Greeth goes full lich and reassumes control of both the Hosttower and the High Captains. Luskan has had a shit few years decades and now Daddy is home, and angry, and no one is getting away with nonsense right now. Why is Arklem F’ing Greeth handing this super a N g E r Y paladin/blackguard lady an army? Even if he wanted to (for the lulz, perhaps) how does he have YET ANOTHER ARMY to spare?

*deep breath* Ok. Ok, backing away from the Luskans for a minute. Before I actually start screaming. The ongoing nightmare that is Luskan can have it’s own post.

Right, anyway, Luskan invades, is foiled by the magnificent Hero of Neverwinter (very recently the sole graduate of their adventuring class!), Lizard Queen is also vanquished and Aribeth either dies or is later executed by her former friends. Nasher is so hacked off by this entire chain of events that he suppresses all information regarding this fuckery. Nevermind that he’s at least partly to blame - why did the KC get a lawyer despite being accused of mass murder and not Fenthick, who just assumed guilty by association? Excuse me, Tyr? Wut? And then....

World reset, I guess. I just. I have been in or adjacent to the SCA for long enough that even though my focus is very much not combat centred I have learned Much About War. Because that is often all anybody bloody talks about. And because I don't particularly care about combat itself, I generally meander off into "Ok, so there was this battle and this battle and this ten year stalemate in that region... what did that do to trade/the availability of dyestuffs for the next twenty odd years?" Because ultimately I just wanna dye some period accurate wool.

My painfully meandering point here is that the civilizations don't just bounce back after a war. They don't bounce back after a plague either. Especially one as virulent as the Wailing Death was meant to be. Every bit of lore I could scrounge about it keeps saying that "the [majority of the populace of Neverwinter] were dead or dying within a tenday". Wut?

How the hell is the city ever meant to recover from that? How is Neverwinter even functional as a city two years later? Where did all the new citizens come from? Where is the violent economic downturn stemming from the sudden traumatic loss of most of the previous citizens??

And why is Neverwinter accepting Luskan ambassadors TWO YEARS LATER?? Because lets not forget, I got into this mess trying to write a story set in NWN2. WHICH TAKES PLACE JUST TWO YEARS LATER. SOMEHOW.

Further rants about the aftermath of war and/or plague in medieval society to follow…

[frosted-buns]

Hey, I noticed you stating an opinion about trans “egg” terminology and comparing that to Christians going around trying to convert everyone. I get where you’re coming from, 100%, and you’re right that anyone’s gender/sexuality isn’t anyone else’s business. But there’s a huge difference in a trans woman, a heavily oppressed minority, making a joke about someone, and the giant societal force of Christianity forcing people to adhere to their religion, yknow? Christians, particularly the ones who go on missions, are often white cis and straight, and very privileged. Their goals have a death count. Trans women are just making jokes with their friends. It’s not a fair comparison.

Beyond that, many trans women have stated that egg jokes helped them come out and realize that they were trans, while many others have lamented that no one told them they could be trans while they were confused and wondering.

In the end, I believe you are in good faith, but kinda misunderstand the impact of egg jokes. The type of people to be upset (how DARE you think I’m a GIRL because I have long thats ICKY and I would NEVER be a GIRL) are simply (trans)misogynistic, and most supportive cis men don’t really care.

anyway, have a nice day, I hope this helps broaden your understanding or whatever.

I get where you're coming from but unfortunately before I could actually get on hrt I had someone try to get me to by sketchy ass hormones from a site that I don't think exists anymore that only accepted bank transfer payments called "she's a lady". and I unfortunately know someone who groomed a lot of people I know and was a moderator on /r9cute/ which was a ring that would tell little boys they are trans (some may have been actually trans who knows) and make them cut themselves and post pics and would get them hrt. The guy who even recently manipulated me and people I care about. So I am definitely biased towards "egg culture" and "pink pilling" shit with what I've had to deal with.

A lot of the egg stuff never really felt like a joke to me at all and felt more like trying to apply gender to people. I've heard the people going on about "all femboys are eggs!" and stuff like any boy who is slightly feminine or has long hair is an egg. I've also only ever seen it been applied to egg for trans women and never for trans men either so it feels really fetishy like force-femming and "sissyfication" stuff.

It feels like it's often in really bad taste and I've seen it been used as not a joke more than I have seen it used as a joke. Idk maybe that's the autism speaking and I'm missing the nuance or some shit but it's always really seemed gross to do to someone. stuff like it actually pushed me away from trying to start hrt earlier with people suddenly trying to get me to buy sketchy meds off sketchy websites. It made me doubt the process and have distrust for all of the trans community for a while.

I just have never understood it to be jokes at all. If they are jokes it's news to me. people have told me "are you gender fluid??? are you gender flux??? are you bigender???" and trying to assign labels to me like... I just am, woman fits best, possibly slightly nonbinary or something but I really don't like using labels.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

After SO many attempts to get my sculptures glaze-fired at the local free kiln, and failing, I scheduled a kiln rental ($$$) at a paid place, took my un-fired stuff and called a lyft home. In the lyft, I was bitching and whining a bit about how all this could have been avoided if I hadn't gotten sick at the wrong time and missed the last week of open studio at unm, when the driver said "wait, open studio? my daughter is 13, she DESPERATELY wants to learn to do pottery, I've been looking everywhere for an affordable studio" and I said "well, she's a little young but people do bring their kids to the UNM pottery studio all the time. They have lessons, membership is $20 for non-students. The studio won't re-open til September though, do you want me to give you their insta?" when I said "$20" she was overjoyed, and said "God must have put you in my car today." I, for some reason unable to let shit slide, mentioned that while I wasn't raised Christian OR currently Christian, I'm studying medieval manuscripts which is basically bible-study-by-proxy, so am now stuck halfway into an Early Medieval Christian worldview, less as an actual Faith and more as something that inevitably affects how I view the world because I study it non-fcking-stop. The lyft driver laughed and said "well hopefully you will get out of that Phase soon", I also laughed and said

cut to today, almost exactly a week later, I'm at the paid kiln place doing some last-minute overglazing ($$$!!!!) and chatting with an employee abt my archeology/history studies. They mention how active they are in fandom, and it comes up that they used to be in the Supernatural fandom, left early-ish but kept up with spoilers. They love folklore and don't only AGREE with my comments about Grendels/Pookas/etc being in the show, but immediately pick up on WHY I made these connections without me having to explain, which is amazing. Then they mention that they left the show because, having been raised EXTREMELY Catholic, Cas' portrayal was so inaccurate that it made them angry.

I was confused by this, both because Cas' portrayal in spn is RIDICULOUSLY lore-accurate (like most good & interesting things in spn this is by complete accident) and because afaik Cassiel NEVER shows up in Catholicism- he's primarily Islamic and Kabbalistic, with later appearances in Hermeticism and broader Esoterica/Angelology. But the employee, named Crash (seriously) says, no, Cassiel (spelled Kasziel/Kafziel, both variant spellings I've seen before) is mentioned, and even described, in a book they were forced to read as part of homeschooling growing up, and Cas is NOTHING like in spn.

At this point, we realized that our difference in opinion on Cas came from how we were raised, and that arguing it was about as useful as actually arguing about religion. However, when they mentioned that the text was a book on angels by St. Augustine, I sat up straight, because I'd had to read St. Augustine for SEVERAL classes this past year (talky, tormented medieval guy with a thing for going hand-to-hand w demons. I think he's the Hilariously "Falling In Reverse"-Coded Saint but maybe that was someone else), and I'd never heard or seen of any works by St. Augustine on angels. Given that this fell SO neatly into SO many things I'm annoyingly obsessed with and also promised 11TH CENTURY CANON CAS, I googled it as I waited for the glaze to dry- nothing. A bunch of texts, scholarly essays and articles ABOUT St. Augustine's descriptions of angels, but no primary source mentioned aside from "St. Augustine, at some point, described angels".

So on my way out, I say hi to Crash, and ask them what the title of the book was. They say that while they don't know, since I'm coming back tomorrow to pick up my fired pieces, they can call their mom and ask the book title, and that "[their] mom would just be happy that its a Catholic Question for once".

So idk what all this led to, hopefully some decently glazed pieces, plenty of new things learned abt clay that they don't teach at the unm studio, and maybe even the bonus of yet another Weird Ass Early-Medieval Christian Text to fuck around with. And medieval Cas.

MEDIEVAL CAS

...anyway, OP's post just reminded me of it. This has been my oddly specific, Anglo-Saxon Christian guided quest to fire my (perhaps unsurprisingly, Anglo-Saxon- and Norse- inspired) ceramics before the medieval fair. Normally I wouldn't say "God is looking down on me" under any circumstances, but if SPECIFICALLY THE PRE-REFORMATION GOD OF EARLY MEDIEVAL NORTH EUROPE WAS LOOKING DOWN ON ME

idk I just think thats funny

If I had a nickel for every time I was debating the value of early-medieval Christianity over this specific box of semi-glazed, unfired sculpture pieces...

Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

[koala-confessions]

03/17/2024 MORNING

My headspace fucking sucks right now. I feel so fucking isolated which is stupid. I am surrounded by people that are literally going through the same shit and I can probably talk to any one of them. But I don't. I don't feel like I belong here. I don't feel like I fit in. Maybe my life just was not as bad as theirs was. I never slept in a tent on the streets of Las Vegas. I never had to feel like I was in luxury because I had an air mattress instead of cardboard for my bed. I didn't have it that rough. Was I an addict then? Was I really? Because I stopped when I had to stop. I mean when it was really time, I did quit. Even my sponsor was homeless at some point. The only time I've ever been truly fucked is when they brought me here to koala. If they hadn't, then I would have had nowhere to go in Vegas but even that feels false because I could've gone to Justin's or robs or any of the few spots I could still get in down here. And then that would've been very temporary until I could make the necessary moves to get on my feet. Not even horribly illegal ones, just slutty ones. There were a couple nights in Phoenix, where I didn't know where I was going to sleep that night, but it always came through even if it was the last minute.  

But here I am at Koala. There must be a reason for it. There has to be a reason this is a part of my journey. I know I am ok. I am getting better, back on track and there are layers in place to help me succeed, if I want it. I do. I am taking the first step towards something bigger and better for myself and my kids. I am going to interview for the scholarship to be a paralegal. When I looked at the salary, if I can even get hired, it isn't enough to afford even an apartment for the kids and I. Hopefully, the STARS program or help of southern Nevada comes through to help with rent. If all these things fall into place as they should, I should be able to stay the course, straight and narrow. If they don’t I have my plan B. Work the men to get what I need for the kids and I to live comfortably. That is one thing that the streets taught me. Getting paid for sex is so frowned upon and I honestly do not know why. The money is good, the clients are, for the most part, good guys. I don't know. I just feel so different that these people. As much as I see all the evidence that I am not a drug addict in the classic sense, I cannot honestly give another answer for why I let my life go the way I did. Why else would I just sit back and watch it burn? I just want someone I can count on. A best friend so to speak. I am not looking for a physical connection. I am looking for a real one. Maybe I am looking for God, or some version of God. Maybe what I am missing is something spiritual. 

Why do I want to hang out by myself all the time and then bitch about being lonely? I don’t really know if you can consider it bitching if I don’t actually tell anyone but my journal, but still. I have all these things trapped inside my head. All these doubts, fears, insecurities, but I can play it off. I come across as engaged, witty, smart and insightful. I can be all these things but, in my head, it is still a mess. I am confused and lost, and I know where I want to be, can see the picture so clearly, I know every single detail. But it’s like, even though I have the blueprints, I don’t have the coordinates. I’ve no map. No Google telling me when to turn left, right, or make a U-turn. No guidance to reroute when I make a wrong turn. That is the connection I am seeking. A Google Maps for my life. Holy fuck. Literally. I AM looking for God.  

So, what now? Religion feels so icky, exclusive and cult like. I don’t know how to feel about Jesus. I just wasn’t raised in a particularly religious environment. Even Hebrew school was a formality. It was something I was forced to do out of tradition and we were never taught much beyond how to read and write basic Hebrew, how to pray in another language. We were never even taught to translate it really. Just to memorize and repeat at the appointed times. I know the words, and when to say them, but I do not know what they mean, or have any feeling behind them when I recite them. That isn’t religion.  

[scarluxia]

alright, i'm taking to The Tumblr for this just to get some thoughts and feelings out. I've written in my diary and bitched to friends ad nauseum about this but... And I'm not censoring my fucking thoughts so if this comes off ✨problematic✨, fucking touch grass and cope.

So I had this friend since 2016, and I mean, sure, there were some red flags in hindsight in our interactions. Going back and reading our old conversations, she's extremely self-involved and seems more interested in appearing concerned than actually helping someone's emotional situation improve, and then she fuckin pats herself on the back for her Cracker Jack wisdom. But we became buddies and she made me some edits for one of my old accounts and that was nice.

2017 I had all this drama with guys who, essentially, I'd start dating them, I'd get attached, and they'd ghost me. She was THERE seeing all my fuckin post about what neglect, ghosting, and abandonment did to me and all the shit from my past it brought up to the forefront. That's relevant later.

2018 we have a few fandoms and boy-crushes in common. She knows about some specific *cough* issues I have and recommends me a fic for a ship that 50/50 would have that dynamic. The fic was absolutely terrible and I told her straight-up "I'm never reading anything you recommend me ever again", to her confusion. When asked, I explained what I didn't like about it and she acted all confused, but I figured she wasn't smart enough to get it at my level and I didn't feel like delving into a big conv about it.

2019 (?) this show comes out that's diametrically opposed to my religion and she B E G S me to watch it so I can RP one of the main boys for her. I explained more than once that it was against my religion and seemed too dark for me anyway, to which she replied (gleeful) "It gets SO MUCH DARKER AND COOLER later!" Yeah I dropped the subject again because it's not worth getting mad enough to smash her ✨oblivious✨ head in with a mallet, whatever.

2020 we've both got new babies and I'm quietly comparing and contrasting our parenting styles. Can't remember if it's here or next year when I video call her for the first time freaking out about how to calm down my baby when my husband's out of the house. (Spoilers: Newborns hate EVERYTHING and everything makes them cry. For anyone who needs to see it, you're not a bad parent if your baby bursts into tears at the drop of a hat. They're also highly empathetic so your stress makes them even MORE stressed, which is great for those of us with pre-existing emotional dysregulation, amirite?)

2021 I'm browsing for shows to watch and ooh, this one looks interesting! The title is something I've been called and the premise is something I would totally do if I had the resources! So I start watching it and it's like the perfect mix of hilarious, cringey, relatable, and schadenfreude. Also, it's a musical. So anyway there's this guy who shows up in a few episodes who is EVERYTHING. He's sweet-natured, out-of-touch in that he does things that would be scary out-of-context but he means them in a nice way, BUILT AF, successful, with a great smile and dimples, and his actor just radiates this wholesome energy. He's so much fun to watch and I immediately PM my friend and say, "You've got to watch this show with me, you're gonna love this character." I also vent to anyone who will listen (and catch some heat for it in the fan groups because WAAAH PROBLEMAAATIC) about how the main girl did him dirty, took advantage of his kindness, led him on, etc. And like I predicted, she absolutely fell in love with this character as much as I did.

So we started writing together. We'd had a few casual threads here and there with our OC's and we knew a couple friends in common but I'd never really been invested in anything. This, I was HARDCORE into. We were gonna write a fanfic and it was gonna turn into a book and I was just so excited! Yeah problem was, now I felt obligated to watch the show she had wanted me to watch back in 2019, like a... you scratch my back, I scratch yours. Anyway, yeah so, not to suck my own dick but the ship from MY show would actually work with a little bit of work. The ship she proposed from HER show? uhhhh would not work with the OC she chose; it's completely OOC for the guy she wanted me to play to show any kind of interest in that OC. But I figure, you know what, she's being nice and letting me drag her into this fandom so I'll be nice and not play her dream boy as the misogynistic prick he is in canon.

Then my characters sort into dynamics that intrigue me from a psychological perspective. I'm not sure how much of it I let happen and how much of it I made happen, if that makes sense to fellow writers. Like ok, character A on my side attacks character B for power reasons. Character B has displayed masochistic tendencies in canon, both physically and emotionally, and he gets bodied more than once so ykw I figure he's into it. Problem is, my Character A is shipped with her Character Z, and Character Z doesn't like it.

even though canonically, character Z would totally be down for a devil's threesome.

but WHATEVER, so, her reaction is confusing to me, and I try to explain Character A's point of view, like, now that he's inadvertently got Character B in love with him, he can't just abandon Character B, because he knows firsthand what that psychological damage does (psst: Character Z did similar to character A in canon). And Character Z's reaction is basically, "But you're not responsible for the feelings of those around you." Which fucking BAFFLED ME.

So naturally our minds being so different led to some conflicts that we did manage to sort out in side-chat/DMs. Then we started bantering in DMs alongside the main RPs that were happening. Enter the next problem: her OC for Verse 2. This chick has

☑ a dead mother

☑ an abusive father

☑ a kid brother on behalf of whom she takes extra beatings from their dad

☑ purity culture taken to its logical extreme-- she's not just a virgin at the tender age of 24, she's a SUPER VIRGIN!

☑ her family's been exiled from various different states due to her father's misuse of power

☑ EXTREME UNTAPPED POTENTIAL in a type of magic uncommon to canon!

☑ a crush on the canon her admin wants me to play (who's her married professor expecting children btw)

☑ the jealousy of all her classmates for... no known reason!

☑ a ZOMG WORST ENEMY (also an OC) who shows up in like two seconds

My sister and editor doesn't like the term "Mary Sue", but like... if you've got another succinct way to describe this chick, be my fuckin guest. In the main RP she actually wasn't too bad, but dear GOD, the fucking SIDE CHATS! You couldn't throw a spitball without hitting one of her shills! This rubbed one of my characters-- let's call him Character N, who was shipped to one of her characters-- let's call him Character G-- the wrong way when G was paying unwarranted attention to MS. And when I say "unwarranted", I mean both "What she was doing wasn't worth the OOH'S and AHH'S," and "Canonically, G would literally catch a grenade for N, and wouldn't even THINK of ignoring him in favor of anyone else."

I tried, both in and out of character, to explain what was so fucking annoying about MS, and her admin's response was basically just refusing to get it. At one point there was a conversation between our characters that went something like:

"I don't understand why you hate her so much!"

"UGH I've explained this fifty fucking times. I'm not getting into it with you again because you refuse to fucking OPEN YOUR GODDAMN EARS AND LISTEN."

"See, you can't even come up with a reason!"

But I mean, I was emotionally invested in continuing my verse's RP and she was emotionally invested in continuing her verse's RP so I did my best to just talk to her person-to-person and say, "Listen, this here is a problem for me so how do we deal with it?" Nowadays I don't know why I fucking bothered. Anyway, that conv was in September or so and we were still going pretty strong for a while!

November/December I noticed she was tapering off more. Things kept coming up. They sounded plausible and innocuous at first like "oh my friends kidnapped me to go kayaking" or like "it's really hard to get my son to sleep so i have to go for the rest of the night." I tried not to let it get to me because everyone gets busy, but then I noticed there was a new person she was writing with during the times she claimed she was too busy to talk to me. You know, rather than saying, "Sorry, I'm caught up in this plotline with so-and-so and I'm going to have to put our project on hold for a little while, but feel free to continue it without me," like a fucking adult.

So mental health things started happening with me. Extreme depression, thrill-seeking, taking more of prescriptions than I was supposed to or like multiple downers at a time that I wasn't supposed to mix. She performed concern but looking back, I doubt she actually felt it.

So the person she was chatting with had a screen name that's indicative of one of my lifelong special interests and I thought, "You know, this person seems actually really cool." So I add and start chatting. At the time I thought "him" and this person's pronoun-neutral so that's what I'ma go with. He actually is super fucking awesome. His characters are intricate; he's so creative with backstory; bantering with him, whether or not I know the fandom, is an absolute joy. We're among each other's best friends to this day. Anyway so at first, yeah, we're all bantering and it's chill. Friend 1 suggests a group chat for banter and things. Friend 2 and I have amazing writing chem and bounce off each other sooo fuckin easily, like, there's one ship he actually warned me against because my favorite OC is the opposite of his canon's type... but they actually ended up having great chemistry AND he (admin) helped me figure out how to get his character's attention!

Friend 1 was... weird... about it, like, I remember thinking at the time that she gave off the vibe of a tagalong trying too hard to be one of the cool kids, butting into threads on main that she had no business butting into. At the time I also judged Friend 2 for not asking her to stay out of threads she wasn't tagged in, but present-day I understand that Friend 2 doesn't like conflict or pushing people away & didn't want to get in the middle of things he believed were going on between Friend 1 and me. We both got frustrated and irritated with her and vented privately to each other about things we'd noticed-- first with her characters and then with her as a person.

It was... a while... before Friend 2 told me that Friend 1 had warned him off me. Friend 2 was skeptical of me as a person because he was told that I was clingy, pushy, this-and-that. Which is weird to me because I had asked Friend 1 in the past, before meeting Friend 2, "Am I being too much? I'm sorry to push you on this thread, is this okay?" Like I constantly checked in to make sure I wasn't pushing any real-life boundaries. So for her to say that about me was really disingenuous.

Then I think Friend 2 started noticing Friend 1 had gone off him a bit in favor of another new shiny. I don't remember if this came up before or after the Big Fight, but Friend 2 brought up an excuse Friend 1 had made that didn't match up with either something Friend 1 had told me or something we saw her posting about. Anyway that sparked a whole new series of conversations between Friend 2 and me.

February 2, 2022. I'd started getting fed up with Friend 1's transparent excuses and neglect. I'd started being a bit more passive-aggressive than I really should be and she got super butthurt over things that plausibly could have been about someone else because she knew what she was doing; she was just mad about me """retaliating""" or whatever. She went on this fuckin rant out of ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE, calling my OC a Mary Sue, calling me a hypocrite, saying she's sick of my OC insulting her canon (it's IN-FUCKING-CHARACTER but go off), and then blocking me before I can respond, because you know, she's almost a decade older than me and wanted to showcase her shining maturity, I GUESS.

So about my character-- she KNEW my OC did not like her canon. There were things in my OC's background, Character S, that made them basically the nemesis of hers, Character R. So yes it was fully IC for S to call R a "fat slut", even though I as a person would never fucking say that about R. Meanwhile, she had this OC for another verse-- everything was crossover-- who had healing powers similar to what S has. Mine just happened to get to Friend 2's character first, and she got all jealous and butthurt instead of taking it OOC and saying //hey next time I'd appreciate it if you gave me a chance to heal him, because your character gets 90% of the spotlight// or whatever.

Anyway, things had become so bad by this point that probably on both sides we had people saying "you should probably unfriend them", but it was a huge shock to my system because I didn't even have a chance to defend myself or talk things out. Like, I was SURE this shit was a misunderstanding! And this was... a week? ish? after she'd said something to the effect of "you guys will never be able to get rid of me, I love you so much" to both of us.

I'ma leave out a few of the behaviors I resorted to but none of it was harmful to her. Fast-forward to June (I think?) 2022. I'd been devastated for months, like, Loki noticed I could barely fucking function. He'd sent her a message telling her to get her fucking head out of her ass. Meanwhile Friend 2 had felt caught in the middle and just gone on hiatus. Impetus for that was, I was frustrated with a project I was working on and I didn't tell him because I wanted to keep it a surprise; at the same time, Friend 1 was paranoid about me """stalking""" her and kept asking, "Is this her? Is this her?" to which of course the person who's known me for two months is going to have a concrete answer, amirite?

So out of nowhere in June/July/something, I get a message from Friend 1 on Discord, Instagram, maybe another platform? apologizing and wanting to talk. I was fucking ecstatic! I got to have my friend back?! I hate losing people so I was over the moon and so ready to just put the past in the past. We VC'd for a bit and then she unblocked & re-added my known Facebook accounts. She had posted a status along the lines of, "This is either going to be my best decision or my worst mistake." Two people she'd been gossiping about me with (as told by another source) reacted to the status but neither of them said anything. P sure they wanted me to see it, like, it was definitely for show but I'm not sure how so. We did some karaoke together later that week, we started writing again, like, everything was awesome for a little bit.

Well, then the excuses started to set in again, plausible at first. "My daughter's visiting and it's her birthday but I'll TOTALLY plunge headfirst into writing again when she's gone!", things like that. We did plot and write some new things, but she dragged her feet on the project she KNEW I wanted the first draft finished by August. I publicly announced that I'd replace her as a writing partner if she didn't help me finish the draft and... WELP. She claimed she wanted to, and then didn't, but she got so threatened by the idea of being replaced that she made these promises to get me to stay my hand.

This time round I didn't care so hard. Friend 2 came back shortly afterwards and apparently he and Friend 1 had linked up on Discord. Friend 1 had told him she was gonna add me back like a week or two before she actually did. I later learned she'd read my frantic apologies/attempts at resolution (one message sent to multiple accounts trying to clear things up), and the letter I'd sent to a mutual in a last-ditch effort to find out if she was okay because she'd made some pretty serious claims about her physical health. Friend 2 and I started comparing notes again. I cleared up some things and we started discussing Friend 1 and some of the disingenuous things she'd been saying and doing yet again.

September or October she invited me to an event in November in the city she moved to. At first I wasn't gonna go but my son had a doctor's appointment the day before so I figured it'd be fine for me to leave for a few days, have fun with my friend, come back refreshed. I miss traveling and I needed a vacation. Loki agreed to it and told his boss he needed those three days off.

I did find it a bit weird that leading up to the visit, she barely talked to me, like, she'd already been barely talking to me but now it was she'd pop in with a token "OMG I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU FINALLY" and then bounce every few days. Event got cancelled but I went to see her anyway. I thought we had a great time! I had so much fun hanging out with her, she was a lot cooler in person, didn't get on my nerves (which is SUPER RARE for in-person); nothing I had been afraid of about the visit happened. I got along great with her family and her kid really liked me. I thought things were golden between us. I thought we'd be chatting more, RPing more, doing more banter and skits....

hahahaha nope. I staged a fight with a mutual who found out for me some things she was saying about me, things she was still saying even though I thought for SURE we'd be good after that visit. I video called her to look her in the eye and confronted her about it. I asked her if she has any problems with me that she hasn't told me about, and then I asked her about what was in the screenshots. She made it sound to me different from how she made it sound to my source, and she was putting out heavy "make this not my fault" vibes. At the end of the call I asked multiple times, "So now we're good? We've got everything out in the open, and you're gonna tell me straight-up if you have a problem from now on?" And she said she would. (We'd gone over some things she'd like me to change and I agreed to them calmly, you know, so I didn't think it'd be a problem.)

Next day she's whining to my source about how she "couldn't sleep" and "can't believe [ I ] did that to [her]." We've spoken maybe once since. My physical and mental health took a downturn as a result of just the stress caused by being lied to multiple times. God, that sounds so fucking dramatic but take it up with my stupid body.

Now I consider us basically on meme-sharing terms, like, if I see something I think she'd like I send it to her and then promptly archive the conversation. I'm not going to make a big dramatic statement by unfriending her. I was being a little passive-aggressive again recently, but that's a bad habit, so I've decided to stop doing that.

And like I know this friendship is a dud. I also know that all the things she wants to pretend to be are things I actually am. I know that most of the people she spoke to about me decided to give me a chance & get to know me anyway, and turns out they have some similar issues with her that Friend 2 and I have had, and they DON'T have those same issues with me.

I just wish I could stop thinking about it. I wish these things didn't hit as hard as they do. I feel like anything I have to say is just redundant and irrelevant, and I regret giving her the chances I did. I regret buying her a $300 painting of her BIGGEST character crush (that's an estimate including shipping). I regret sending her a Chromebook with a bunch of books and read-aloud services (along with Facebook and Messenger because she'd been having trouble with her laptop and didn't like accessing them on her phone). I regret growing so attached to our friendship that I felt like I was in love with her. I regret letting myself hope things would be better the second time round.

But I don't regret taking that trip. I was torn for a while between, "I could have saved myself $2,000 and gone to fucking Santa Cruz," and "No, actually, Myrtle Beach is a different experience." I now know the truth about what she's like; if you can talk that much mad shit after meeting someone in-person and claiming you had the best time, then you're two-faced.

And yeah I'm saying a lot of stuff ABOUT her but believe me, I've also tried to say things TO her, albeit phrased far more kindly because I actually don't like stepping on people's toes if I can avoid it.

I just... really hate not being heard. It should be enough for me that I have all these amazing friends, and that I've met people through her who are basically the best people in the world next to my sister. It should be enough for me that most people are siding with me when she's trying to warn them off me. But it still stings that she's gotten a few people to block me for no reason or keep me on their friends list but refuse to interact just to spy on me (you know you have to actually talk to your mark, right?) to see if I'm plotting against her.

Well... I'm not plotting against anyone, actually. I'm sharing the truth about what was said between us. I'm sharing receipts. If I could afford a lawyer I'd go after her for libel, since I was told you can do that if it's online. I talk some mad shit about the story we wrote together, but guess what? I talk equally mad shit about my cringe parts as hers; there's just fewer of them, and either way, I'm getting a lot of help rewriting the story into something that's not cringe.

I'm going to have to continuously recommit to just Being my Awesome Self and not trying to reach her because it's fucking impossible to reach her and it's not worth the effort, but I also can't fuckin help wondering-- and I wish I could stop thinking about it-- how the friends she's retained don't see through her chicken-fried baloney.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

I'm going to start by saying I'm still going to post my entry and the video as I had planned to, but . . .

I have to add, that this evening I got a call that one of my older boys was in a terrible car wreck and that he was in the hospital.

Of course we headed out.

The whole way my head was reelin'. Is it just human nature to assume the worst in situations like this? Several actual worse case scenarios played out in my mind.

I still feel like I could throw up my heart at any second.

What if, what if, what if, what if.

. . .

What now?

He's ok.

He's probably not going to feel ok physically, mentally, or emotionally for a while, but he is.

If you're my people, and you know if you are, I just need you to be ok. Make good choices and be ok. Ok???

If you're not my people, well, I want the same for you guys, but it's just on a different level. Lol no lol

Everything below this is the entry I had written and planned out. I just had to get that out my head.

He's ok.

I'm still sick about it.

If you pray, please pray. Otherwise please keep him in your heart and in your positive thoughts.

~

Yeah.

Let's call this one

the REINS of TERROR,

because the ones holding them probably aren't who you think they are anyway. 11-4-23

""" Hawkeye : War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.

Father Mulcahy : How do you figure, Hawkeye?

Hawkeye : Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?

Father Mulcahy : Sinners, I believe.

Hawkeye : Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander. """

I don't normally attach my entries to videos. I've attached to a few pics or memes over the years, but this one . . .moved me, enough.

Now remember kids,

in real life,

"outta sight, outta mind" makes it too easy and way too comfortable to choose a side in a conflict you probably don't truly know much about.

Aside from what the media feeds ya, and then depending on your left or right wing news sources that lean their program in "your direction.". . .what???

It's this kinda shit that makes it hard for me to respect your politics and religion. I struggle with the little beauty I do find in it.

I just wanna scream fuck your religion and god damn your politics. If this is what comes from your side, try again.

You best be the gold standard for your cause, because this isn't ok.

AT ALL!

What about his fucking side??

I'd fight a side I agree with to protect the innocent.

I'd probably fight you to keep this boy out of harms way.

We are always involved in different conflicts, as a country, that we shouldn't be in, or choosing a side instead of forcing an end.

Is it a for profit war (?) hmm,

or are we scared to shut it all down because it's all sacred ground or whatever the fuck?

Repeatedly throughout my life, we rarely handle conflicts abroad in ways that make sense for anyone besides a few politicians, a few military leaders, and, I'd imagine, several of the rich and elite.

People aren't pawns on a chess board.

I'll never get over how innocent civilian casualties are statistically calculated, and they put a % on how many are acceptable losses. That's not just our country either, that's everywhere.

As our politicians in the House approve over 14 BILLION in military aid.

Aren't we still the world's #1 super power? Why aren't we . . .just stopping it.

Now, go ahead and bring your little bit of noise.

#damntheman at home or abroad

#killin'inthenameof

#fuckyourside, weak ass side anyways

Loving and caring will always be harder and the true path for the hero(s).

When I say share your LOVE and laughter with the WORLD, who the fuck is it, exactly, that you think I'm talking about?

Until next week, and just so there's no confusion;

"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

(Others means: anyone not you, anyone not like you, everyone else)""

Perspective growth is knowing that my son laying up in the hospital and this little boy in the video have each enhanced my emotional range for the other.

Quite a bit, if I'm being honest. This happens to me more frequently these days than it ever used to. Js

[atomatowriter]

Highlights from Prismatic Dawn battle (the Remire Village battle for those who know FE3H):

Celin got dropped to 9 HP because she was in the center of a big AOE spell (not fireball but idk what it was) an took a shit ton of fire damage, ran over to heal Dimitri and Dedue who also took a shit ton of fire damage, and she then took more damage at the end of her turn bc she wouldn't leave the big fire without them. Also at one point there was some action confusion and Dimitri got to run out of the big fire but Dedue didn't leave until Celin was out. They truly are both like that. 😭

I learned that Celin's horse has a higher wisdom score than she does.

We were so spread out across the battlefield that we all had pieces of what was going on and nobody had all of it. Celin did not actually do a lot of fighting, she mostly got some kids to safety, pulled some knights out of fires (we joked about modern AU firefighter Celin and I want this), and, as I put it "ran back and forth like a frantic collie just going 'EVERYBODY STAY IN ONE PLACE.'" Consequently, she has no idea that a) the Flame Emperor was there, b) Sven's dad (the main Slither guy in our game bc Cressida replaced Thales and Solon, etc. with other characters) was there fucking shit up again, c) the unconscious girl she healed and ran out of the battlefield was an Agarthan but also sort of Sven's half-sister? and d) the kids she got out of the fire at the start of the battle were Kyrie's resurrected siblings????????

Cressida on some of those points: "But does she have kind of an idea?" Me: "She has a wisdom of 9 so no."

At one point Dimitri went into a rage and ran off the map to go fight the Death Knight and half of us were like BITCH and followed him but my brain leapt from that to remembering how, historically in the Fire Emblem: Three Houses video game when Dimitri goes off map to charge after an enemy, it does not go well for him to realizing, "Yeah if Dimitri dies, Celin is gonna straight up tell Dedue about our Crest of Flames shit and also our access to resurrection rituals. I know we promised to keep it a secret but if he dies she's IMMEDIATELY gonna tell Dedue that she has a way to bring him back to life because she doesn't trust what he'll do if he thinks Dimitri is permadead." (We have, in the past, resurrected Mercedes.)

After the fight was over, Dimitri was super pissed, as...you know, is canon. Celin saw how there were so many more bodies of villagers than there were the people who actually caused this and in the mindlink to Sylvain was like "Yeah I get the anger though." Also on that point, she said "FUCK" or "GODDESS DAMNIT" in the mindlink in a panic like three times during the battle so I think she's fully embraced that she is now a person who swears. This is her life now. She lost her religion, she and her friends are in dangerous and emotionally wrought situations every five minutes, someone experimented on a bunch of innocent villagers, and she is a person who says fuck now.

Kyrie and Solstice had a talk with the Flame Emperor that was very tense where FE was basically like "Join me." And Kyrie and Solstice were like "Give us more information please." And FE was like "No information, only join me." However, they did say the whole "the world will be purged in flames and made anew."

I realized that while I would love to have a Golden Route, I don't know if CELIN is gonna be capable of it. Because she's very "reform not abolish" - and also feels like Slither is at the root of most of the bad shit, so while the Church has some things to answer for it's not...the big bad here??? - and she would respond to "the world will be purged in flames" with like " respectfully no?????????? we live in the world???????? a lot of people live in the world???????? people die when you purge them in flame." Also Edelgard's whole "Yeah I don't want children to suffer anymore...and so I'm going to start a war and kill thousands but after that when the world is exactly what I want it to me then they'll be fine" is not something I ever see her siding with. Our Black Eagles character, Sven, has like an A support with Edelgard and may have a shot at persuading her out of the war thing (but a long shot since Edelgard's main personality trait is being...unyielding), but has said that ultimately if he can't, he's already pledged himself to her and would side with her. So we might go into the post timeskip with some of the PCs, who all deeply love each other, on opposite sides of the war. 😬

[friedbreadwombat]

𝕽𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖚𝖒𝖆

[sniper-childe]

About Fontaine (GENSHIN KALLEN WHEN???) (PE Dudu as the Hydro Archon, yes??)

I mentioned before in the notes of a fic that I HC Fontaine as a place that is governed by the Church because it values the Truth and Law the most and one of the Absolutes of Teyvat that we know of is Celestia and the so-called Heavenly Principles. So I imagine that Fontaine would be the most avid fanatics devotees of Celestia and the Archons who uphold its laws.

Tho tbh, I mainly have this HC because I want the Hydro Archon to be a mix of Jeanne D’Arc and Durandal (from Honkai; specifically the Platinum Equinox battlesuit because I want a horse in Genshin, hoyoverse >:() and maybe a little bit of Thena (from MCU Eternals), but that’s just me.

I also imagine that Gay Jesus Kallen is going to be an undercover nun who will turn out to be a Fatui Harbinger that is coming for the Hydro Archon’s Gnosis :D And when we fight her, she will be immune to Elemental Damage because hoyoverse loves to make us suffer, yeah?

And also some little part of me wants the Fontaine Arc to be Anti-Church hajskdnfeglakw (NOT to be confused with anti-[specific religion] but rather the Institution that has grown corrupt and has commodified faith and made religion into something that is Absolute and used it to justify heinous acts).

BUT! (There is a reason why I have typed this HC out.) I have recently binged-watched an amazing courtroom kdrama that started as a murder case and the MCs ended up taking down a corrupt politician and I was like—OMG I WANT MORE SHIT LIKE THIS. It’s a good watch, you guys. It’s on Netflix. If you’re a fan of How To Get Away With Murder, you’ll like that series too.

Now I don’t know which one I want more: abolishing ‘the Church’ or taking down a corrupt high-ranking official with the use of sharp wit and cleverness. I just—I have high hopes for Fontaine now and I feel like I will be disappointed again but I still have faith in the Genshin Team hahasjkdengme

I hope that whatever they’re going to do, they would actually push through with it tho hahaha I have mentioned before that they probably weren’t ready to go all out with Anti-Imperialism or Anti-War with Inazuma but I have to admit that the fandom wasn’t ready for it too. Take a look at Eula’s release and the non-critically-thinking people of the fandom ‘canceling’ her, a fictional character. Imagine what they would do if Genshin actually made Ei the villain of the Inazuma Arc or had Kokomi do some morally-grey shit to win the war.

The only playable antagonist in Genshin that we have is Childe. And I am sad about that. A writer friend once told me that to have a good character, some bad things have to be their fault. And I want that kind of complexity in the upcoming characters and not just someone who was interesting but then got regressed into another ‘soft uwu’ character praised by the people around them.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 3

A certain redheaded tabloid journalist tracks y/n down at work. Y/n finds out how persistent she is when she makes her an offer she just can’t refuse. 

Trigger warnings: Christianity, stalking, survivor’s guilt

You made it out alive, and that was more than could be said for some. 

Your consolation prize was a ghastly scar on your hand that you kept bandaged up as to not scare small children. You did get some worker’s comp after all; enough to pay for your medical bills and a little extra to make up for the lost workdays. All things considered, you were the lucky one. Four people lost their lives that day and three more were injured far worse than you. You should have felt grateful to be alive.

But somehow that was even worse. You got a couple stitches and some time off. It wasn’t worth four people’s lives. 

Your therapist explained it to you very gently. You were experiencing a phenomenon known as "survivor's guilt". She encouraged you to join a support group, get outside and familiarize yourself with your new experiences. 

This was good advice and all, but yours was the newest, hottest crime. You couldn't go anywhere without being hounded by reporters looking for whatever details you had somehow left out. Dr. Bloom encouraged you to take some time off work until the media circus died down, but you had bills to pay.

"I feel like there should be some rule about re-opening a restaurant within a week of it being an active crime scene." Charissa observed as she wiped down a table. "If anything, it's a health hazard."

"Are you serious?" You scoffed. You'd been tasked with refilling the salt shakers. Appropriate, because there was plenty of salt to go around. "Demand for this place has never been higher. Everyone wants to see if the blood is still on the carpet."

"Hooray for capitalism." She rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna be okay, [F/N]?"

"'Okay' is a very relative term." You forced a laugh. "I think I can make it through the shift if that's what you're asking."

"Aren't you behind the bar all evening?" She asked.

"Yeah, but that means I'm trapped." You folded your arms. "First thing you see when you walk in is the waitress who survived the- what are they calling him?"

"The Baltimore Butcher." She answered with a voice full of vitriol. "Do you think they ever consider the ramifications of giving literal murderers these weird superhero names? Like, no wonder we get copycats, they treat these guys like celebrities."

"Holy shit, right?!" You slammed the salt shaker down on the table. "Y'know, last night on the news, they used the creep's graduation photo and kept saying that he was a good Christian young man with a lot of prospects."

Charissa stuck out her tongue in disgust. "I saw that. And how he was 'corrupted' by crack cocaine. Once again, blaming a drug that was used to villainize poor Black neighborhoods in the 80's as some kind of corrupting agent."

You nodded furiously. "Instead of understanding that Christianity is a violent imperialist religion that lets violent white men absolve themselves of any guilt."

"And they knew it wasn't crack." Charissa added. "I heard that shit was completely uncut. You know he spent a lot on it."

"And I will say this until the day I am put in the goddamn ground," you tensed up. "The only reason the fucker escaped is because he is white."

"Hey y'all." Another waitress walked in for her shift. "What are we talking about?"

"Cocaine." Charissa answered. “Also white privilege.” 

"Great." She said dismissively. "Hey [F/N], can I scoop up that bar shift? I could really use the tips."

"Madison!" Charissa scolded. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" Madison shrugged and glanced at you. "I didn't get any paid time off. I need the money."

"Was that supposed to be a joke?" Charissa scowled. "Are you seriously joking about her trauma?!"

"It's fine, she can have it." You rolled your eyes, then turned them to Madison. "Just know you're the reason I have survivor's guilt."

"Well now I feel bad." Madison frowned.

"Good." You and Charissa said in unison.

It was sort of comforting to get back to the script. Almost nostalgic. It provided the illusion of normalcy in an incredibly abnormal new reality. 

You approached the first table in Madison’s block, hoping for a new beginning. A young woman with fiery red hair sat alone by the window. 

“Hi!” You greeted, with a smile as genuine as you could muster. “My name is [F/N], I’ll be your waiter tonight.” 

The woman smiled back. “Evening.” 

You couldn’t tell what, but something was off. Perhaps you were trying too hard to force normalcy. Or maybe it was the borderline predatory way the woman was looking at you; like a shark following a trail of blood. Either way, the vibes were rancid. 

“Can I start you off with a drink or is water okay?” You ask. 

“Could I possibly trouble you for a glass of chardonnay?” She asked, lowering her eyebrows. 

“Of course.” You nodded and reached for your pen. 

“Actually,” She corrected herself. “If you could bring a bottle and two glasses, I’m expecting company.” 

“Absolutely.” You scribble the order down on your notepad. “Do you have a preference?” 

She thought for a moment. “Oh, dealer’s choice. Whatever you prefer.” 

You soon returned to her booth with a bottle of your favorite chardonnay and two stemmed glasses. You poured a small bit in one glass to let her taste. 

“You have wonderful tastes.” She complimented, filling her glass. “It’s very delicious.” 

You rocked on your heels. “Would you like to place your order now, or do you want to wait until after your guest arrives?” 

“Actually,” she repeated, filling the other glass. “My guest is already here.” 

She slid the glass across the table and gestured to the other seat. 

You felt stupid, but there was no way to avoid this. You couldn't just not do your job. She cornered you by the confinements of your profession.

"I really can't, I'm on the clock." You said, apologetically. The wine beckoned you. "I'm sorry, maybe another time."

"Oh, bummer." The woman placed her chin in her hand and pouted. "Well, I'm sure there's something that would make your boss look the other way."

She glanced down at your bandaged hand, then met your eyes. "The bandages are a dead giveaway, [F/N] [L/N]."

You then noticed a wire sticking from her pocket. Undoubtedly some kind of recording device. You looked at the ground. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."

"But who will drink all this wine?" She asked, raising her glass.

"Ma'am." Your voice hardened as you tried to bite back an overwhelming rage. "Please leave the restaurant. I'm not going to ask you again."

Your manager, Matthew, passed by. "What's going on here?"

"This waitress is being very rude." The woman complained. "I ordered chardonnay, and she brought me chablis."

"Chablis is a type of chardonnay." You corrected. Even you found it strange that this was the hill you were willing to die on. "She asked for my preference, and I prefer the unoaked varieties."

Matthew looked confused. "Well, she's right."

You gestured to her pocket and he caught on immediately. He narrowed his eyes. "Ma'am, please leave the premises or I'll be forced to call the police."

The woman stood up, rummaged through her pockets and slapped a handful of bills down on the table. She then proceeded to drink both glasses of wine and walk away.

Matthew looked at you apologetically as he collected the bills. "Are you sure you want to be here tonight? I can call in someone to cover for you."

You shook your head and grabbed the bottle by its neck. "No, it's okay. I appreciate the concern but I really just want things to go back to normal."

"Hey!" A woman from the adjacent table called out. You prepared to immediately recant your statement about not going home.

"We like chablis." The woman said, gesturing to herself and her friend.

Her friend joined in. "And if that nosy reporter lady isn't gonna drink it..."

You glanced at Matthew, who shrugged. "Sure. It's yours."

The women exchanged delighted looks as you placed the bottle on their table. Matthew handed you a couple of clean glasses and you began to pour.

"For this wine, I suggest any of our wonderful seafood dishes." You explained, your cheeks stinging with a smile. "It also pairs quite nicely with chicken and game bird."

"Thank you." One of the women said. "If you don't mind, we'd like to take a look at the menu, please."

"Of course." You nodded. "Just flag me down whenever you're ready."

"This is why I put you behind the bar, by the way." Matthew gently scolded you as you collected the soiled glasses.

"Didn't you hear?" You said. "Madison needs the money because we can't all have paid time off."

"You should have come to me first." He sighed. "She has no right to say those things to you."

"Never stopped her before." You shrugged.

"I'll talk with her after the dinner rush." He said. "Just... try not to get cornered tonight, okay?"

"I'll do my best." You answered, flatly. “Because that’s definitely something I can control.” 

The rest of your shift went smoothly, or, as smoothly as could be expected given the circumstances. The nosy reporter was right, your bandage was a dead giveaway. You had to dodge a couple of questions, but most people had enough decorum to know the wound--metaphorical and literal--was still fresh. 

You said goodbye to Matthew and Charissa, collected your things and walked out to your car. You put the key in the ignition, only to find your gas tank was completely empty. You had just filled it that morning. 

You bit back a scream and fought the urge to slam your head against the steering wheel. Throwing the door open, you mentally prepared yourself to either make a long trek to the nearest gas station, or beat someone up.

“Looking for this?” A smug voice said over the cicadas. 

You turned around and saw the nosy reporter from before holding up a canister. A deep, blistering fury overtook your face as you slammed the car door. “You siphoned my fucking gas?” 

 “It’s not like you left me with much choice, [F/N].” She crossed her arms. “You’ll get it back once you answer my questions.” 

You threw your head back in disbelief. “You’re Freddie Lounds, aren’t you?” 

“I see I’m not the only one who does my research.” She said, looking a bit impressed. “How’d you know?” 

“It’s the first thing that comes up when you search ‘unethical crime journalists Baltimore’.” You answered. “There’s a whole flair dedicated to you on the subreddit for murder survivors.” 

Freddie seemed proud of herself. “Need a ride?” 

“I’d rather drive off a cliff.” You said, honestly, before turning around to leave. 

“Where are you going?” She walked after you. 

“To get more fucking gas, you evil bitch.” You shouted back. “Are you gonna follow me to the BP too?” 

“Look, I heard what you were saying to your friend.” She called out. “About white privilege.”

“Yeah,” You rolled your eyes. “It’s the same privilege that allows you to siphon a stranger’s gas and sit in a parking lot all night without getting arrested.”

“And I agree with you.” She hurried to your side, her chunky platform boots clacking against the asphalt. “They did you dirty and they’re shooting themselves in the foot by not listening to you.” 

You turned around and threw up your arms. “Why didn’t you just lead with that?”

“I invited you to sit down over a bottle of wine, did I not?” Freddie chuckled. 

“Cornering me at work is not a gesture of goodwill.” You huffed. “And I actually do want to put my story out there, but all you’re accomplishing by stalking me is guaranteeing you won’t be the one to do it.” 

“Are you really in a position to be that selective?” Freddie smirked and placed all her weight on one hip. 

You groaned. “What?” 

“The Baltimore Butcher is still out there, and you won’t be the hot new victim forever.” She grinned sadistically. “Soon enough, him or some other psycho is going to strike, and your fifteen minutes of fame are up.” 

“Good. Then I can go back to living my life.” You said. 

“But what if his next victim is a Christian?” Freddie grabbed your shoulder. “What if the next person who narrowly avoids getting their throat slashed decides to go on record and say that he doesn’t represent ‘real Christianity’?” 

You went quiet. You hadn’t considered it, but the thought of anyone downplaying his faith as a motivation made your blood boil. You looked into the man’s eyes and saw a person driven to kill for his god. A god he shared with the crusaders, conquistadors and slavers. 

“...but it does. Christians colonized half the planet for--” 

You stopped yourself when you saw Freddie’s smile. 

“You want to get on your soapbox, now’s your chance.” She bit her lip. “Take control of the conversation while you still can.” 

“Fine.” You spat. “I get off work tomorrow at four.” 

Freddie shoved the gas can into your hands. “I’ll see you then.” 

[vannybarber]

Put Some Respect On My Name!

Summary: As a wife and a mother to the kids of this asshole, respect is the one thing you better be recieving from him...after some good 🍆 of course. That's number one right there.😏

Ransom Drysdale x Black Reader

BIG ASS PLOT

Words: 5.3k

Warnings: Pregnant¡Reader, swearing, insults, angst, mentions of cheating, SMUT, breeding kink, spanking, oral (female receiving), praise kink, unprotected sex, mentions of religion, threats of violence (nothing extreme).

So here your are. Sitting on you and Ransom's shared California King bed looking at his friend, Derek's Instagram story, disappointed and angry. But mostly angry. Some nasty ass trick is sitting on your baby daddy's lap. Her loppy floppy tits out with a drink in hand and him drinking a Moscato, the one beverage he loved to order everytime he went out.

Last year for New Year's, you had to stop him from ordering more or else you were going to be cleaning him up after puking everywhere at midnight instead of getting a kiss to start off another year.

Your two year old daughter was in her playroom across the hall making a mess with her toys. Usually you'd be down there playing with her but your swollen stomach done prohibited you from doing a lot of things now. But it most definitely ain't stop you from getting what you want from Ransom every day and night. Nothing could ever stop you guys from getting yo freak on. Nothing.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale is most definitely an asshole and you're not gonna sit here and lie, acting like he completely changed when you guys came together. That boy still has his moments, but of course, it would be a chilly ass day in hell before you sit there and take his bullshit. He been learned that.

At this point ,you were thinking of ways to get on his ass about it when he comes home. Should you get the bat and wait at the door on some Beyonce shit ? Or put some bleach in his Fruit Loops like Cardi the next day ? Those sounded a lot better than what you decided to do. You were gonna wait till he got back home and calmly confront him on it, regardless of what your hormones wanted. 6 months pregnant and anger do not go together. You're WAAAAY more vulnerable and bound to do anything now. So you just watch your daughter brush her baby doll, hitting her on the head cause she won't sit still, rubbing your bump and wait for him to come home.

You hear shuffling downstairs and keys hitting the bowl by the front door. His big head home now and you're beyond ready.

You check the time and it's 2:46 am. You been put your child to sleep hours ago. You were just watching Wild N' Out to pass the time, thinking of how you were gonna start off without making yourself even more mad. The baby nor you need any of that. You were internally praying he was gonna get his ass over here soon cause your ass knocked out for a little bit. You were sleepy as hell right now.

Hearing those expensive ass Chelsea boots hit the sleek stairs and up to the second floor, you woke the fuck up real quick. You stay quiet and watch him walk in your daughters room and check on her. You can see with the nightlight him smile and rub her brown cheek with the back of his forefinger, whispering inaudible words to her. Fuck him and his adorable ass.

He bends back up straight and walks out her room closing the door a little and make his way across the hall to your room. He sees you and your pregnant state in your white tube top and grey booty shorts. Simple yet the baddest bitch he's ever laid eyes on and ever will. He smiles while locking eyes with you and all you do is narrow yours back at him getting upset all over again, regardless of the sweet previous moment shared with your baby girl.

He gives you a 'what the hell ?' look and comes over to give you a kiss but you jerk your head back with the stank face and a 'boy move out my face' quietly leaving your mouth. Now he's REALLY confused.

"Mama, what's wrong with you?"

You look at him like he just asked you to get on your knees and bark like a dog.

"What's wrong with me? You really asking that?" raising your voice on the second question.

Technically, he has the right to ask, being that he doesn't know what you know. He probably doesn't even know that Derek was recording him and that broad. Nor does he know that you texted Derek to keep recording him so you know nothing escalates.

Call it what you want, but you know how your man is. He's immature and irresponsible as HELL. If something had popped off that really threatened y'all's relationship, you would've been in that bar with your child on your right hip, earphones in her ear and tablet in hand, cussing him and that girl out.

"You wanna tell me how your night went?" You tilt your head asking sweetly, with a drop of sarcasm. You truly are a petty ass piece of work. And you love it.

"Just get to the point Y/N. The fuck did I do this time ?" At this point he's now visibly annoyed. But you ain't care. This situation is on his part. Y'all could've had a nice night, fucking while Big City Greens playing in the background on the T.V. eventually waking your child up cause you loud as hell, but nooooo. That ain't happening now.

You grab your phone and open back up Instagram, Marta popping up on your feed with Harlan reading a book. You like it and search up Derek's @ then click his story. You flip through countless tabs until you see the man-child standing in front of you, on the screen. You motion him over to the bed.

"Come here, asswipe."

He rolls his eyes, but moves them feets anyway. You turn your phone to him and let the video play. You watched it about a thousand times so you know exactly when it ends. After it does you pull the phone back in your lap and give him a questioning look.

Sometimes it's hard to read his expressions and this was one. It was a mix of slight guilt and double the annoyance. He backs up and stands back at the end of the bed, arms crossed.

"Really? This why you're upset?"

You swear you almost slapped him. And this time you couldn't blame the hormones because it was gonna be ALL YOU. You take a deep breath and lean your back against the cushion headboard.

"I KNOW you did not just ask me that as if I ain't supposed to be bothered by the fact that my husband got some random woman on his lap while I'm at home with his daughter and his growing child."

You deadass don't believe him right now. He really pressing you as if he don't know how you get when you're angry, especially while pregnant.

"My feet hurt. I am TIRED. I can't even move for more than 5 minutes without getting sick and having to sit down. The you come at me with this bullshit" you continue. "What the hell is wrong with you ?"

He just deadpans you. And you stare at his ass right back. You not playing right now.

"Y/N, you never get upset when I go out with my buddies and get hammered." He's flapping his arms around raising his voice at every word.

"What is the big deal now? It's fucking late and you're doing all this right now. What the hell?"

You gather the strength and get out the bed to close the bedroom door cause you about to go AWF.

Getting back on the bed fully sitting up and supporting your own weight, you tie your butterfly braids up in ponytail.

"Listen, you raggedy shitball,"

It's about to go down. You adjust yourself, ready to release the wrath.

"I don't give a damn how late it is. You know better than to go out and let some bitch get close up on you like that. Were you even thinking about me or your kids while she was on you? The fuck was going through your mind? Oh wait, I forgot. You don't fucking think. You have to actually have a damn brain."

"Raggedy shitball? Real mature, babe. Real fucking mature." He says rolling his eyes, finally getting his shoes off and putting them under the chair were his scarf and coat are draped over.

You continue with your rant.

"Ironic for you to comment on maturity, Hugh."

Yep, that's right. You said it. You called him by his ugly ass first name. Linda and Richard must've been out they damn mind naming him that shit. He whipped his head around, any sense of expression just completely wiping from his face. Perfect. Just the reaction you wanted.

"Don't call me that." He stated, pure disgust in his words. To be honest, you don't even blame him. But like stated before, you petty as hell.

"Hugh, Hugh, Hugh. Your name is fucking Hugh" you say in a sing songy voice. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

"You don't get to tell me what to do right now. And back to what I said before. Why you let that girl in your lap like that ?"

"It was completely harmless. We were just having fun. Like you said before, you aren't a jealous person. Stuff like that shouldn't even be affecting you like this." He gets on the bed beside you and your face tore back up again. He's really getting in this fucking bed beside you like nothing.

But he was right though. You aren't a jealous person. A girl can come up to him at a party and flirt right in your face, but you'd never be bothered. Cause at the end of the day, her ass is getting rejected and he's gonna be inside you later the same night. He's yours and you're his. Simple.

"Ransom, just because I'm not a jealous person doesn't mean I'm gonna keep my mouth if our relationship is threatened." This man is actually delusional.

"You never entertain other girls when I'm around and here you are with a girl on your lap and I'm not there to say or do nothing. And you know your shitty friends will just encourage it. "

At this point, you started to get really insecure. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's just your logic. But your mind started racing like NASCAR. What really happens when he's out and you're at home? He wouldn't put your marriage and family at risk over a bitch...right? He hasn't cheated on you, has he? These thoughts really weren't good for your right now.

But he must've read your expressions. You were zoned out and he knows you're an over thinker so he had to stop you real quick. He puts his large left hand over your thigh, rubbing it and his right around your ass, leaning his head against your arm, trying to get you to chill. It almost worked, him knowing you liked your thighs rubbed, especially in your state.

But you caught that shit right away. You moved out of his hold and turn your body completely towards him. And then you ask him.

"Have you ever cheated on me?"

He freezes, you swear for at least 2.4 milliseconds and whips his head around to look at you. You turn your head away, somewhat regretting you even asked. You know this fucker loved you and your family with everything. He even said in his vows he would give his all into you. And you believed him. But fuck that right now. You need to know.

"Are you GODDAMN serious right now?!"

Okay, you paused for two things; he used God's name in vain, which you HATED, due to you growing up religious. Even though you don't practice it very often, it still bothered you. And two, he yelled, completely disregarding the fact that your kid is across the hall sleeping.

You snap your head around, braids hitting your face with super saiyan speed and kick him in his hip.

"What the shit, Y/N?"

"First of all, you know how I feel about that fucking word. STOP USING IT. And two, your daughter is sleeping so you need to keep your damn voice down!"

He's rubbing his side with a distorted look, but you could care less. You were fed up. This imbecile wasn't showing you any respect and your weren't gonna wait for him to get it right.

"How the hell would you feel if I went out, sat on some random dude's lap and entertained him while you were at home with our kid? Matter a fact, I'll do one even better. How about while I'm PREGNANT with YOUR baby, that YOU put in me, I sit on him and letting him rub my belly?"

Ransom has a big ass breeding kink. When you told him you were pregnant he was ecstatic. The though of him knocking you up, his seed growing inside of you just gave him pure ecstacy. And don't even get started on when your bump started to form. He was fucking every chance he got. He was in a theme park and you were his favorite ride.

You know you were playing with fire, but that shit felt AMAZING. He was really feeling how you were feeling right now. Them veins were popping out his neck and his face was slightly turning red. Baby boy was LIVID.

"Y/N, cut that shit out. I'm not doing this with your ass tonight." He looked at you with these eyes you've only seen when his family pissed him off at those gatherings he dragged both of you to. Before you had your first child of course. You went to them less after your daughter's birth because he didn't want her around his shitty family. You completely understood.

"Nah, baby boy. Since you want to be so inconsiderate and a triple asshole tonight, you can lay here by yourself and bathe in it." You got your big ass out the bed after minutes of struggling. Grabbing your black Betty Boop pillow with her cute afro, your charger, phone and your Hot Cheetos out the night stand and slipped on your slides, you waddle across the room, heading into the guest bedroom.

You refuse to sleep in the same bed as him, especially since he refuses to admit he's in the wrong. If you stay in there, you're just going to get even more frustrated and you don't want to harm your baby.

"Y/N, baby. What are you doing? Come back in here" he called you from the bedroom.

You shut the door and lock it. You'll be damned if you're gonna come running back cause he aSkEd you to. You settle in the bed, plug your phone up, grab your chips and turn When They See Us on the T.V.

Ransom just lays back on the bed in defeat. He didn't even make an effort to get you back in the room because you're stubborn as a mule. But he takes this time to go over what just happened.

He truly didn't think you would make a big deal. Like you said before, you're not a jealous person, so he didn't think he'd have to worry. Boy, was he all the way wrong. And you did have a point about you entertaining another man. That had his blood boiling. He gets at most irritated when you come with him to events, like the Oakley Country Club in Watertown and you're everyone's distraction.

It was your first appearance with him there and you being a sight to see, had all eyes on you and your body. Hell, even the women were checking you out, no envy or jealousy in sight. He knew then, he was gonna keep you close. You don't remember ever leaving his side that evening. He even volunteered to go into the bathroom with you. He didn't want to take a chance with the females either.

But in all seriousness, he couldn't bear the thought of you with another man. Especially now that you're married and have two kids together. But he really couldn't believe that you'd even suggest that he had been unfaithful to you. Your reasons were plausible, yes, but he was honestly...hurt. He knows what kind of guy he is comes off as, but he'd never intentionally ruin what you guys have built. You were the only one he truly let close.

He knew what he had to do, even though he dreaded it. He had to go apologize. He hates when you're upset with him. Absolutely hates it. Plus you were looking sexy as hell tonight and he need some of that round brown ASAP, no rocky.

Ransom got up and opened the door, making his way down the hall to the guest bedroom, but not before checking his baby's room. She was still fast asleep, little snores leaving her body. Exiting her room, he knew your door would be locked but tried to open it anyway. When it didn't budge, he knocked a couple of times. But you was knocked out.

Then he remembered. Lifting his hand to the top of the door frame, he searched for the thin key that unlocked the bedroom doors. Once he felt it, he grabbed it and inserted it in the door knob. Click. He pushed the door open and looked around to see the T.V. screen on, but paused, and you lying on your side with the Cheeto bag still open like a damn fool.

He shut the door quietly and made his way around the bed. He closed the loud ass bag, which caused you to stir and reposition your legs. He set the bag on the nightstand and crawled into the bed with you. He stared at you for a moment. Looking at your full lips and your wide nose.

Your afrocentric features were always so mesmerizing to him because they were different from all the other women. They were unique and he understood why you took so much pride in them. You had the damn right, especially looking that good. You were never afraid to embrace them. No person of color should ever be afraid to. Ever.

After what felt like an hour of weird ass staring, Ransom started to shake your arm, trying to wake you. You're a heavy ass sleeper, so it took him a while. You opened your eyes, squinting trying to figure what the fuck just woke your ass up. Feeling a dip in the bed and a presence next to you, Ransom comes into sight.

Even though this man is finer than a MOTHERFUCKER, you still turned your nose up when you looked at him. Your ass was still mad and it was ridiculous. Understandable, but ridiculous as hell. You could only imagine what he wanted now. You roll your eyes.

"Listen, I know you're still pissed at me and whatever, but I just came in here to.... apologize."

He averted his gaze to the T.V. You know how difficult it is for your baby to apologize for anything because even though he clearly in the wrong, he will never ever accept it nor admit it. And damn sure never apologize.

"I realize how you felt when you saw that video", he continued. "I would be even more pissed if you were the one in someone else's lap and I couldn't kick their ass as soon as I saw it."

You chuckled a little bit because it's true. He would be angry as shit. Although, you'd never be in that position because you love and respect him too much. But you let him finish before you spoke.

"With that being said, I'm sorry for my actions. Believe it or not, I'm still getting adjusted to being a husband and a father. I'm still struggling to give up my old habits and the shit I'm so used to doing. It's not easy, baby."

You grab is strong jaw and make him face you. He hasn't made eye contact with you this entire time. You almost felt bad, but he needed to understand. Understand where you were coming from and understand how it made you feel.

"Ransom, I'm not asking you to completely change who you are. I just want to know that you're in this for good. Because you can't turn back now. We've come too damn far. And I'll be damned if you decide to give up your responsibilities. Your ass gon' be grass."

He smiled a teeny bit, because what can you say? You're a natural born comedian. You can turn any situation in to some funny ass shit. But you get back to your point.

"I want you to be able to go out and have fun, but also come back and be a husband and a father. I value my independence just as much as you, so I get it. Just remember what you have. Don't fuck it up for some pussy, alright? That's all I'm saying."

You look him in his sea blue eyes. Damn, them thangs are hypnotic as hell. But you search for something that tells you he understands. That's all you fucking want. Him to understand. But you definitely got your answer.

Just as you were about to ask him, he shoots his face towards you and attacks your mouth like a damn wild ass pig. You were thrown all the way off, but you checked back into reality and kissed him back. You guys had this amazing ass way of getting in sync when you kissed. No matter who initiates it, you flow amazingly.

After a few mintues of saliva attack, you pull away tryna breathe cause he was about to take all your fucking oxygen. He laughs at the look on your face. You end up cracking up too. You can't help it. And he knows it.

"I completely understand, mama. I've definitely taken this into consideration. I learned my lesson." He smiles down at you. Internally you're proud as fuck because it's like you raised a bad ass kid into a well behaved one. The power your ass holds is amazing.

Then you look at the door trying to figure out how the hell he got in the room. "The key." You nod in realization. He rubs your thigh again, and this time, you don't stop him. Instead he stops himself. You look at him confused as fuck.

"But I'm gonna let you sleep in here, since you seem to be so cozy." He was messing with you. Fuck him. He gets up off the bed and head towards the door, but not before looking back to catch your reaction. You had a 'get your ass back over here' look on your face. But he just smirked. That signature smirk.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He really out here testing you right now. The balls on this motherfucker...

"Ransom, get your ass over here and give me what I want." You look down at his crotch, imagining him without his wool Reiss pants. He follows your eyes, still holding that smirk, but not forgetting to widen it. You lusting after his fLeSh turned him on bad. And it felt so good.

You already know you're to hard to resist. Everyone loves chocolate. Even Ransom's lactose intolerant ass.

You start to rub your belly, purposely drawing his attention, really making him turned on for you. You can feel that that tropical rain storm in your Fenty underwear.

And that boy was ready to start swimming. He expediTiously got back on the bed and in between your legs. You give him that look and that's all he needed. Connecting your lips to his and moving them in perfect sync like always, he starts rubbing up and down the side of your full belly.

"So fucking perfect and all of it's for me."

You pause.

"And who said all of this was for you, Mr. Drysdale?"

Not amused by your comment, he slaps your ass louder than a bitch and you shut your ass up real quick. Not before letting out a little giggle though.

He lifts your heavy ass and pulls the tube top over your head, letting your swole breasteses fall into position. Your areolas widened since having your daughter and Ransom LIVED for it. You were definitely enjoying them massages and those lips treatments he gave you when they were sore, just like now.

He starts kneading the left breast and continues to make out with your face like an animal. His left arm is holding your ass up. He eventually lays you back down, knowing damn well his ass is tired of holding you. You ain't blaming him either.

He hooks his lips on the nipple of the same breast, twirling his deadly tongue all around it. You moan with your head thrown back cause it feels good as hell. He lets go and replaces his mouth with his hands and twirls the nipple with his mouth on the other.

All you could do was mumble cuss words and grab his hair. He was really fucking you up and the real fucking didn't even start yet.

Trailing kisses all the way down your beautiful bump, down all the stretch marks till he reaches your shorts. He wasted no time getting them off and disposing them on the clean floor. Whatever he throw on the floor HE'S picking that shit up, not you. You'll make sure of that.

He looks directly at your covered pussy with excitement in his eyes. More excited than you were, if that's even possible. He takes his thick index finger and rubs you through your panties, completely soaking them. You just watch him, lust dialating your pupils.

He yanks them off, almost taking you off the damn bed at the same time, so you had to re-adjust yourself. He spreads your legs on their sides of his wide shoulders and licks from your core to the hood that covered your clit. You jerked a little cause you were in your second trimester, the horny trimester. You were 🌃 sensitive 🌃.

Then his annoying ass starts lapping in circles in super saiyan speed. You cry out and grab your left breast, squeezing and rubbing it. He stretches his left hand out and takes the right one, doing the same thing. Your back was continuously arching. You know your baby was fed up.

After a couple of more laps, your body finally can't take anymore and you cum all over his mouth. He has the audacity to keep going, even when your clit is hypersensitive, making you literally whimper, so you have to slap his head to get him to stop.

He pulls away with that stupid famous smirk.

"All that shit you're always talking, but you couldn't take a little sensitivity?" He teases you. But that's alright, cause you gon' remember that next time you're on your knees for him. When he comes, you not taking your mouth off him until you feel like it.

"Just fuck me already before I change my mind." You don't know why you even said that shit. He can tease you all you want. You'll never not have your legs or mouth open, ready for him to stick his dick wherever he feels.

He just chuckles, cause he knows that too.

Taking your body, he flips you on your left side and settles behind you, dick right against your ass. Its one of your favorite positions because he could hit your sweet spot perfectly this way. And he could rub your bump at the same time. Beneficial for the both of your greedy asses.

He was taking way to long so you grab his dick and line it up with your pussy and push the tip in slowly, playing with your own arousal. Ransom just watched. He loved seeing you desperate for his stupid ass, but you gave zero fucks at the moment.

Finally you slip his huge ass girth inside you and you moan out loud as hell. You really just be turned on by anything at this point. He then takes back the lead and pushes further till he bottoms out inside you. He's heavily breathing his hot ass breath on your neck like a weirdo, but fuck it.

Once both of you are adjusted, he starts moving in and out of you. The position made your walls hella tighter and he was already hitting your spot. His tight arm is wrapped around your stomach now. You constantly moan his name and he's just encouraging it.

"Ransom, fuck, baby just like that"

"You love when I fuck you like this, don't you pretty girl?"

You hated when he called you "pretty girl, sweet girl, or good girl" because you become a straight whore for him right away. He's such an asshole.

"Yes, Daddy- please don't stop"

"Tell me how bad you want it baby"

There he go with these fucking games. Always wanting to hear you beg.

"I want it so bad, Daddy ! pleASe give it to mE"

Happy Ransom?

He starts to pick up the pace and you feel the pleasure in your toes. It just travel from there all around your body and you can't say anything but "don't stop" and moan uncontrollably.

You start getting close and he can tell by the way you pick up the moans. So he starts going faster. But never forgetting to add a little nasty dialogue.

"I can feel you ready to come sweet girl. Keep clenching around me baby" That shit just made you even more whore-knee. If you weren't already pregnant, he was definitely gonna put a baby in you that night.

"Baby I'm close- fill me up Ransom please "

You're begging for this man to cum inside you, but he always wanna play a damn game.

"Hmmm do you truly deserve to cum baby? I don't know if you do.."

You wanted to hit him so bad, but he wouldn't let you come if you did. So you go along with it.

"Yes Daddy I'll do anything- Please just let me cum !" You screamed.

At this point you were loud as 🌃fuck🌃 .

After more begging he finally let you come.

"Oh shit Ransom- FUCK" You come all over his dick and shortly after, he came right behind you. Filling you up just like you wanted. He slumped against your back and you lowered your shaky leg.

"You always take me so well baby girl." He starts kissing your neck. You could literally hear that loppy ass smile he has on his face everytime y'all get done. But you get all tingly inside because you love when he praises you. Makes you feel proud of yourself.

"Well there's not much to take so...it's whatever." What are you without a teasing remark after every other sentence? But he always has a clapback.

"Its funny you say that because the other day you were practically in tears because my dick was "too much for one woman to take" and that I was practically torturing you." At this point you're turned over facing him grinning like a Cheshire cat and him smiling right back at you.

"Oh shut the fuck up, with your annoying ass." You snap back at him playfully, rolling your eyes.

"You love me, my chocolate bunny." He let's out an audible yelp when you kick him in his leg. You hate when he calls you that. "Cut it out Ransom, or you're not touching me for a week."

There you go again saying the dumb shit. You both know that YOU could never go through with that.

"Fine by me", he states unphased. Cause he knows you could never.

You roll your eyes for the 50thousanth time.

"You're lucky I love your ass."

"I love you too pretty girl" he winks.

Just as you were about to get up, you hear something jiggle the doorknob and someone huffing and puffing outside the door. That little girl over here jumping up and down tryna to open the damn door. You're literally hollering at her struggle. Truly sick in the fucking head.

"Mama! Where Papa ?" Ransom grins as he throws you his blue sweater so you can cover up and gets up to let your baby girl in.

You truly cannot stand this guy.

This all came to me so fast 😭 I hope y'all like it lmaoo

[bigskydreaming]

And one more bit from the “Kings of the Sky” AU albeit several installments in, because I just......don’t know when or why I stumbled into an obsession with the dynamics between Dick and Jason and Cass as the eldest three Wayne siblings, but its there, its real, and its happening. I’ve stopped fighting it. I just....enjoy writing those three being dumb siblings who are dumb like so, so much.

Anyway, in this AU series, Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia and die, but rather eventually joins Dick at Titans Tower more regularly and is Flamebird. Both are closer with Bruce here than in canon because Dick helped Bruce and Jason get through the Garzonas stuff and Jason helped kick Bruce in the direction of Dick and adoption papers right after the Brother Blood storyline. Then Cass is actually the third to join the family, by way of Babs, and she’s Batgirl and then Black Bat, but there’s a period of time when its just Dick, Jason and Cass as the Wayne kids. 

(PS - this is the same series as where Jason ends up with his own age group of Titans, and accidentally falls into a love quadrangle of doom that is absolutely NOT a polycule dammit, with Tom Bronson (Tomcat), Ray Terrill (The Ray) and Todd Rice (Obsidian). Which amuses his brother and sister to no end).

Tim and Duke are both next, but sorta at the same time? Like Tim’s story takes a sharp turn when Robin II never dies and obviously is Flamebird now like Robin I is Nightwing, and Tim winds up in foster care after his parents die differently than in canon. Duke is also in foster care at this time, though a different placement, and while no Robin has died here, its been awhile since there’s been one in Gotham, and to kids who grew up with the idea of there always being a Robin, that feels weird and wrong ultimately. 

So Tim and Duke both hit on the idea of being Robin like, at around the same time and totally disconnected from one another, and that leads to them both joining the Batfam around the same time, and co-sharing Robin until Damian arrives much later and they both move on to new identities. But there’s no real confusion between Robins because Duke is the daytime Robin with more yellow coloring in his costume and Tim is the nighttime Robin with more red, and people say Red or Yellow if they ever need to differentiate which Robin they’re talking about. Anyway.

************

So [Tim and Duke] run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.

“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.

“Umm, sorta?”

“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”

“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”

“Not helpful, basically.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”

“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was going to need one because I figured some kid running around in a mask making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman. And so I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anyway so why not be me?”

Duke paused just long enough to squint at him. “That’s a terrible plan.”

Tim rolled his eyes. The effort didn’t pair well with his huffing and over-all exertions from running for his life and all that, but necessity demanded. “Yeah I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”

“I’m just saying, I thought I was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? I dunno what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”

“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”

Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.

Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.

Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.

Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”

And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.

“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.

Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.

“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me somehow, he gripes.

Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.

“Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”

She offers another shrug. He would like to return those for store credit please. Maybe get something useful instead. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on  the E-religions.”

“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”

“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along and watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”

“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.

“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.

“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just jumped out of the shadows with that one!”

And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”

And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.

What was happening right now?

********

Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down [Bruce’s] resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway. Because, as they put it, you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think that, like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.

And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.

And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.

And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”

And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.

“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.

Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.

So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.

Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.

A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.

In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.

Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.

“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”

“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”

Jason halted. “What?”

“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.

“Why did you think she never goes after me?”

Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”

Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”

Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”

Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”

“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face both.”

“Wait, what is this ‘this’ that I did before? What ever are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”

“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “

“Oh, I dunno, I’m preeeeetty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”

“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”

“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”

“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “

“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”

“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.

That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”

Jason’s eye twitched.

Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”

Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.

Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.

“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.

“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”

The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.

“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.

A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”

Tim just stared at him.

“What?” Duke asked.

**************

LOL mostly I just want to get to the tail end of the series, when Dick and Jason go undercover as supervillains in the Society of well, Supervillains....Dick as War Shrike and Jason as Gray Jay. (A kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size. Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction).

Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan. And War Shrike and Gray Jay are both so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, that combined with her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being clear evidence that she is the boss and they are her advance minions. 

Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.

“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.

Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”

Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.