#reddit you’re on thin ice for this too

[ryssabrin]

who tf does the twitter app think she is pausing my music whenever i scroll past a (muted!) video ad

[rkrkerked]

pluto ep 4 notes

- may looks sooo adorable in that helmet

- “i want to be able to see myself” what a cutie

- food delivery has never been more romantic

- girl you’ve exchanged saliva and you’re getting shy over sharing a water bottle

- ok ms lawyer we see you

- that ice cream looks good asf

- don’t get food delivery if you got deported and you’re broke (!) bruh

- i too want to share an ice cream like this w somebody 🧍‍♂️

- EX?! EX!!

- oop may’s real mad

- i know they just met (it’s still only been like a week right?) but they really can’t hang for one day without some sort of conflict

- ai should be grateful that may keeps giving unnecessary rundowns of their relationship bc she’d be clueless w/o them lmao

- that’s so real tho, dating a close friend just bc you want to feel loved

- “it only happens when you love me” aww

- oom and may must have had the most shallow rs in the world bc wdym you told eo nothing and didn’t even sleep tgt

- “your girlfriend aka your sisters girlfriend” why’d i laugh

- idk how to feel about this ex, “how did it feel? was it weird since you’re both women?” um ok? get out of her business buuut ai is dating her sisters gf and it’s an objectively shitty move to not go visit your newly disabled friend in the hospital while he’s recovering from an incident that involved you too especially, just to see your sister’s gf

- im dead, if someone stops me like that in the middle of giving head i would not be that chill (well id obviously still stop but how can she be so nonchalant)

- i love the friends makeup

- i keep confusing ai’s friend and oom’s friend

- fortune teller rizz 🤔

- “why can’t it be me?” :O

- ai is lowkey not a good friend bc why would you ask your friend, that you know harbors a longtime crush on you, to read a story you made for your new girl? and she was pretty harsh in her reaction to the friends confession. but it is true that her friend has a gf and should keep it cool.

- don’t tell me ms officer heard everything behind a closed door, how thin are the apt walls

- wait nvm cctv footage is kind of crazy like that’s not even your apt how’d you get that girl

- may’s a badass but not her defending what looks like an archetypical thai series villain

- oh so he IS bad

- wait it was her dad instead? bruh he needs to leave her alone

- omg the ex IS bad

- meanwhile ai has no clue and is writing a love story

- the little prince is such a goated book

- why would the customer say that? why would that ever be an appropriate thing to say to a family member of someone in the hospital??

- let him know grandma

- not another ex!

- “the one she can never forget” why would he say that?? 💀 men in this show need to stop speaking

- “her favorite ex” dig it in deeper why don’t you

- i don’t want to compare but this show has so many similarities to last twilight, like the bike scene and the flower thing (bc didn’t mohk try to give a sunflower but got upstaged too?), it’s not a bad thing bc it’s not a copy or anything, there’s still a lot of differences, and LT was a great show. but it is interesting to note.

edit: i read through reddit and apparently the rich guy may defended in court was the same that hit ai’s friend which is why her ex went to get revenge. now i see. but why would he get revenge on the lawyer who’s just doing their job and not the guy who actually caused the accident??

[shoukohime]

what your favourite jujutsu kaisen character says about you (pt 1)

gojou: you came here from tiktok. your sexuality consists of women and 2D anime men. trendy. you write reader inserts in your free time

sukuna: you like them bad boys. cat person. dabihawks shipper. self-certified monster fucker. thirsty.

megumi: hello lgbtq community! you had a crush on sasuke at one point in your life. megumi is your son. all first years are your children. you are a parent now.

yuuji: either YOU, your SIGNIFICANT OTHER or your BEST FRIEND is a himbo. dumb of ass, full of heart. no thoughts, head empty. you excessively use peace signs and finger guns. shounen is your favourite genre.

nobara: you look cute on the outside but you ARE a unhinged mf and wouldn't hesitate to cut a bitch. you spend way to much money on online shopping. dyes hair for attention (good! you look cute!).

mahito: you think about cosplaying shigaraki. don't. you use the i'm baby meme way too often. I don't fking trust you and you know why. get rekt

getou: you willingly read major character death. found family trope is your comfort tag. probably owns an aesthetic blog. fashion icon. do you by any chance like pain?? if villain bad why villain cute huh

nanamin: you like stability in your life. men are on THIN ice but nanami is one of the few you respect. adulthood scares the shit out of you. poor vision. probably thirsty. dilf lover

maki: you like the enemies to lovers trope. your biggest wish is for your fated rival to gently lift your chin with their sword. bad at make up. probably also bad at maths. wlw.

yuuta: you haven't left your room in 3 days. please go out and eat some fruit. edgy. religiously reads reddit threats. you think stanning side characters is a personality trait.

shouko: m8 stop procrastinating! there's probably an assignment waiting for you right now!! you're never involved in drama but you definitely know everyone's dirty little secrets

toji: endeavor stan. say, do you have by any chance daddy issues?? straight. very thirsty.

naoya: bonk you're going to horny jail

[ravenadottir]

Yeah I really hate what they did with Lucas. (ESPECIALLY with that mustache, because what the fuck?!). Based on canon, he seems like he’d have dry humor. Sure he gets a lil prickly with the hair touching and chewing food (which was weird to see lmao), but he has good banter with ppl and can be playful when he wants to be. Now it just seems like he hates everyone 😭. Plus Henrik should’ve been there 🙄. Watching them together would be AMAZING.

And we need more screen time with LIs that AREN’T Bobby and Gary! (And I’m saying this as a Bobby stan! I love that boy to death, but I also love Lucas! And Noah! And I’m starting to love Rahim!) and if Priya is gonna be an option, Chelsea and (dare I say) Hope should be too! Hope irritated me last season but not so much that I didn’t want to see her there! I’d have love to see her dynamics with everyone, especially with Noah since it’s obvious that they were gonna break up eventually.

And why are ppl so mean to Rocco?! I made my MC nice to him bc even though he did a lot of weird shit in the villa, SO DID EVERYONE ELSE! He’s not the only one that fucked up! So why is he the one to be ostracized by all the characters?

I have a lot of issues with CMM as you can tell

i still can't get over the lack of taste when choosing that mustache for my boy lucas! HE WOULD NEVER. if he ever decided on any facial hair, it would be a full beard, that i'm not even sure if he would be able to grow, but i digress.

the edits with the boys' facial hair on reddit is far superior to this mexican telenovela rich uncle they gave us. we deserved B-E-T-T-E-R as well. and you're so right about his humor and dynamics! if we got to see him and gary bantering a little bit would be so cool,. since they had a slight competitive spirit when our boy came in. MISSED OPPORTUNITY!

and yes! henrik not being there is just a waste of character. he might not be popular but his friendship with lucas is! the whole point of spin-offs is to give different scenarios and how their dynamics would change, but again, missed opportunity.

if he was here he would probably be the one who backs mc up, even if they weren't married/boning. he's so innocent and would go against the others by pointing out a different person as the murderer.

i do miss hope here, and it's not even about noah, even though i think it would be brilliant to have her for this purpose as well. but her personality was always so 'under the spotlight' that she would be the one to put everyone in their place during the 'dirty laundry' segment. she's always the first one to say "hey guys, let's not fight. it's just a game." so her appeasing was missed here. she does it every time in the villa and out here it wouldn't be different.

about rocco. like i said before, i don't like him, but it has nothing to do with roccogate. because every single islander has a reason to be ashamed, all the li's included, and the fact that some of them were so ready to kick him in the teeth was uncalled for. all of them did something in the villa and don't have the moral ground to judge or have such misplaced anger.

we do not stan. it's in the past and it's over.

BUT IF HE OFFERS ME THAT GREEN SHIT HE'S GONNA BE ON THIN ICE. jk jk, after episodes 7 and 8 i actually don't mind having him there. he seemed genuine about his feelings. as long as he doesn't hurt chelsea i'm cool.

which reminds me of chelsea not being an li. i think the only reason for that is the fact that she's not popular in the li concept. let me explain. priya has SO MUCH MATERIAL FOR HER, as a potential li that includes sex and relationships, while chelsea doesn't.

if making her a romantic interest on cmm was the source of any cash grab i reckon they wouldn't blink twice before making it happen, but perhaps they assessed the possibility and the programming was more complex and not worth it.

because let's face it, they teased priya but reinforced her sexuality all the time. her horniness for mc is not even fan service, just straight up money source. if chels had been that popular she would've been too.

[jmeelee]

Except at Waffle House

A Sterek AU inspired by that ridiculous Reddit post about the girl who’s BF keeps fighting the cook at Waffle House.

As far as boyfriend’s went, Braeden hit the jackpot when she met Derek Hale. She hadn’t been looking for a partner when she’d stepped into the first class of her Master’s program, but there he’d been, sitting dead-center of the third row in the cavernous lecture hall.  Derek was… different.  Intelligent, well-read, handsome, driven; he’d weathered tragedy and trauma with elegance, emerging on the other side with a soft-spoken grace.  He made Braeden laugh with a wit so dry it kindled a fire in her belly.  To other women, Derek’s obscene good looks—chiseled jawline, soft hair the color of midnight, ass you could bounce quarters off of—might have been his biggest draw, but for Braeden, it was Derek’s hard-won composure.  When she decided to drop out of the Federal Marshall program and pursue her own independent career, Derek never batted an eye.  When she came home from dangerous missions sporting cuts, scrapes and bruises, he didn’t rage over her playing fast and loose with her own welfare.  He simply said, “I’m glad you’re home safe.”  Derek never yelled, never lost his temper, never fought.  He was a dream come true.

Except at Waffle House.

Truth be told, Braeden didn’t love Waffle House, but food was food and a girl’s gotta eat. Derek, however, had some deep-seated appreciation of the greasy chain that stretched back into his childhood, before his parents and older sister died. So while she preferred to eat elsewhere, Braeden found herself at Waffle House a few times a week, feeding Derek’s desire to reconnect with fond adolescent memories.

“Service might be a bit slower today,” said their usual waitress, who’s bright yellow name tag read Erica.  She plopped an iced-tea in front of Braeden, and a steaming cup of black coffee before Derek.  Erica snapped her bubblegum, pulled a tiny notepad from the pocket of her black apron, and snatched a stubby pencil out of her perky blonde ponytail.  “Boyd’s training a new cook.  What’re y’all having?”

Sure enough Boyd, the owner of the franchise, stood at the grill, patiently pointing at burners and griddles while the long-fingered hands of the tall, thin guy next to him flew around like drunk hummingbirds.  Braeden figured the new cook was replacing Scott, who had quit the line to attend Veterinary school.  When you spent several days a week eating there, the Waffle House family became your family.

Braeden was known to make her way through the various menu items.  Some people had their tried and true staples, but she preferred to throw tradition to the wind. One day it was pecan waffles, the next, chili smothered hash browns.  Today, a cheese steak omelet.  Derek however was a creature of habit.  “I’ll have the--”

“Steak and eggs,” Erica interrupted, graphite scratching over the paper.  “Steak medium-rare and egg yolks slightly runny.  Whole wheat toast, well done.”

“You got it,” Derek said agreeably, handing over his flimsy laminated menu.  “Thanks, Erica.”

They filled the void between placing their order and receiving their food with anecdotes from work and a fast and furious game of hangman on the back of their paper placemats.  Waffle House may be lacking in sophistication, but it’s service was always speedy.        

“Here ya go.” Erica plunked plates in front of them and topped off Derek’s coffee.  “Let me know if you need anything else.” But the call bell rang in the kitchen and she bustled away, already half-way down the aisle.

Three forkfuls of cheesy goodness passed her lips before Braeden realized Derek was poking at yellow lumps on his platter with a stiff triangle of toast, watching the yolks crumble like a house of sand.  She finished chewing, swallowed.  “Derek?  Is something wrong?”

“It’s my eggs,” he lamented.  “They’re super hard.  Not runny at all.”

Had she known the repercussions of her next words, Braeden might have given them more thought.  But unbeknownst to her, she was about to score red on the Waffle House Index of how prepared she was to weather the coming shit storm.   

“Just call Erica back,” Braeden suggested, waving her fork in the air.  “The kitchen can whip up another batch. No big deal.”  

Famous last words.  

Erica flounced over, ponytail swinging behind her.  “Sorry about that, honey,” she chirped.  “The new cook is still finding his groove.  I’ll be right back with the correct order.”

Derek thanked her again but watched with hazel eagle eyes as she brought the plate back to the open kitchen, speaking to the mole-speckled guy at the grill whose bed head hair was barely contained under his dorky paper hat.  Derek squirmed in his seat.

Braeden’s eyebrows furrowed.  “That’s a really complex call-in system these employees need to learn.  And all that crazy code with the jelly and mayo packets?  They’re bound to make mistakes sometimes.”

Derek grunted, watching Erica return with a heaping plate of eggs.  This time they were scrambled.  “These are scrambled,” he said stupidly, blinking at the fluffy little clouds.

Looking down, Erica seemed to see them for the first time.  She rolled her eyes and groaned.  “Ugh.  Stiles.”

“Yeah, it’s a style of eggs, just not the one I ordered.”

“No,” Erica shook her head.  “S-T-I-L-E-S.  Stiles is our new cook.  I promise I’ll be back with the correct eggs in a few.”

But ten minutes later a plate of thinly sliced hard-boiled eggs laid out in a flower pattern was placed in front of Derek.  Braeden couldn’t help it, she threw back her head and laughed.  “At this point, I think the cook’s fucking with you,” she told him.

But Derek wasn’t in on the joke.  He pushed the plate away and threw money down on the table.  “Hopefully both his cooking and his comedy routine improves,” Derek grumbled, pulling on his leather jacket.

Maybe now they could finally eat at some different restaurants.

----------

Three days later, they were back at Waffle House.

“There are over 1,500 other Waffle Houses in America,” Braeden said for the millionth time, waving her map app in Derek’s face.  “Look, there’s one twelve miles away.”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Derek scowled, sending his second plate of eggs back to the kitchen.  First, they were poached, then they were part of a bacon egg and cheese sandwich.

The third time a single slice of toast sat on a wide white plate, a perfect circle cut from the center.  Inside the circle was an egg.  Cooked over-hard.  

Braeden took a fortifying breath of humid maple-scented air.

“Okay I’ve had enough,” Derek yelled, standing up from the booth.  “You,” he pointed at Stiles the cook, who stared back with a wide insolent mouth and tricky amber eyes.  “Take this garbage back and cook my eggs the right way.” 

Stiles slowly pulled a dirty apron over his neck, dislodging his ridiculous hat, and sauntered around the counter on long legs to stand in front of Derek, crowding into his personal space.  Toe to toe, there was barely any difference in height between the two men, though their body types varied greatly.  Derek was built like a brick shithouse, Stiles like a twink.  

“Is there a problem, dude?” Stiles asked coolly, with the poker face of an Easter Island head. The only crack in his stone facade was the tiny quirk at the edge of his pert lips.    

“Yeah,” Derek growled, pushing a finger into Stiles’ thin chest, “my problem is you and your shitty egg cooking skills.”

“Shitty?” The quirk blossomed into a fully grown smirk.  “I’ve made you several plates of superb eggs, dude.  It’s not my fault you won’t even try them.”

“Quit calling me dude.”

“Sure thing, buddy.” Stiles winked and stared Derek down like a cowboy in a duel with nothing left to live for.  Where had Boyd found this sadist cook?

“My name is Derek. Not buddy. Not dude.  Derek.” The words leaked out between Derek’s clenched teeth. Braeden could slice American cheese off his jaw right now.

Stiles smiled like he’d won the lottery, angling his body slightly away from Derek, but never breaking eye contact.  “Hey Waffle House, Derek here thinks my eggs suck.  Do all of you fine, upstanding people think my eggs are good?”  Stiles got several thumbs-up, two enthusiastic whistles, and one wrinkled middle finger from a white-haired man hunched over at the service counter.  Stiles gave the guy a thumbs up. “Thanks for your honesty mister.  It’s much appreciated.”

“What the hell was that?  What are you trying to do?” Derek was snarling, and the look between both men was lethal. Eyes sparked.  Lips wetted.  Fingers twitched. Braeden held her breath, sure fists would start flying at any second.  Derek made muted sounds of rage worthy of an aspiring ventriloquist. They were too close, puffed out chests a hair's-breadth apart. 

Stiles shrugged.  “My Waffle House, my rules.  Rule number one, pull that stick out of your ass, Derek.”

Derek took Stiles by the surprisingly broad shoulders and backed him into the coat rack.  “Next time I’m here, you’re gonna make me my food the way I order it.”

As quick as it started, the altercation was over.  Derek backed out of the overcoats, and Stiles came stumbling after like two teenagers emerging from a closet after seven minutes in heaven.  Derek made a beeline for the exit.

“Oh yeah?” Stiles yelled at Derek’s retreating back.  “I'll show you sunny side up!”

The whole thing was made even more ridiculous by the merrily tinkling overhead bell as Derek slammed outside.

_______

“Feeling up for trying Schwarma tonight?” Braeden asked when they pulled into the lot and parked next to Stiles’ run down blue Jeep.

“Not a chance,” Derek replied, practically backflipping out of the Camaro.

----------

“Derek, NO!” she said.

DEREK, YES he heard, and Derek, her Derek, the pinnacle of poise, yeeted himself over the counter, grabbing the yellow crossover uniform tie around Stiles’ neck.

----------

“At least Stiles didn’t spike Derek’s drink with meth,” Erica shrugged.  Today the two men were rolling around on the greasy tile floor.  

“Are you being ironic?” Braeden asked, taken aback by the seriousness of Erica’s tone.

“Waffle House is an irony-free zone,” Boyd informed her with a straight face. “I’m just thankful there’s no AR-15s or nudity today.”

“Yet,” Erica leered.

What the hell happened at Waffle House?!

----------

“I’ll have an Angus patty melt, and a slice of Aunt Maggie’s Triple Chocolate pie, please,” Braeden ordered as chaos descended around her.  “It’s like when I have food in front of me, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.”

“That’s the magic of Waffle House,” Erica said sagely.

“It’s something,” Braeden replied. 

----------

She was scattered, smothered, covered in food debris, collateral damage from Stiles and Derek’s ongoing war.

“Don’t worry, Hunny,” a friendly woman in the adjacent booth told her.  “Throw a tide pod in with that shirt and the stains will come right out!  Just don’t eat it like those crazy kids are doing these days.”

“Who in their right mind would eat a tide pod?” Braeden asked.

  The answer was a serious side-eye.  “Who in their right mind would keep returning to a restaurant to tussle with the cook?”

Touche.

----------

Waffle House had a special Valentine’s Day candlelight dinner, which Braeden could have happily gone her whole life not knowing about or participating in.  

Erica sat them right next to the fancy new digital touchscreen jukebox.  Stiles came out, fed the machine twenty dollars, and set it to play “I Touch Myself” by Divinyls two-hundred and forty times on repeat.

Braeden wasn’t sure if Derek touched himself that night, but any guy who took her on a Valentine date to Waffle House and proceeded to fist-fight the cook certainly wasn’t going to be touching her.

__________

Braeden parked down the road and walked to Waffle House, unsurprised to find Derek’s car in the parking lot.  She’d quit going with him two weeks ago. To so many hungry, lost, and seriously hammered people, Waffle House’s warm yellow glow was a beacon of salvation.  For Braeden, who watched from the peaceful vantage point of the parking lot as her boyfriend grappled the skinny cook into a headlock and proceeded to give him a vicious noogie, it would forever be a reminder that Derek was the perfect guy for her, except when it came to Stiles.  Once upon a time, Braeden appreciated the fact that women everywhere were always looking at her man. He turned heads, but none of them ever seemed to turn his.  Except at Waffle House, and it wasn’t a woman.

Derek walked out of the restaurant twenty minutes later to find her sitting on the hood of his black Camaro.  “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” he asked, monotone. She wondered at Drek’s equanimity, which has always seemed so inviting to her before.  Maybe Braeden just didn’t inspire passion in Derek, the way Stiles obviously did.  

She nodded.

“Is there anything I can say to change your mind?”

She shook her head.  “Not unless you can tell me what this is really about. Not unless you can tell me who you are.  Because this person isn’t the Derek I thought I knew.”

Lately, she’d been thinking a lot about a proverb her mother used to recite when she was younger.  Briseann an dúchais trí shúile an chait. The true nature of someone’s character is revealed through their eyes.  Derek’s head swiveled between Braeden and the view through the glass window, where Erica was helping Stiles off the floor, and Boyd was mopping up spilled chocolate milk, and several patrons were still surreptitiously filming the whole ordeal on their cellphones. Derek’s eyes followed Stiles like a wolf stalking prey.  “Shit, I—”

“Derek,” she said, sliding down the hood and coming to stand before him, “you were an amazing boyfriend and a great guy.”  Braeden sighed. “Except at Waffle House.” 

Derek shoved his fists into the front pockets of his too-tight jeans, scuffed the toe of his sneaker against the brick facade of the restaurant.  “Yeah,” he relented.  “I’m really sorry.”

“Me too, Derek.”  She gently patted his stubbled cheek.  “Good luck with-” she gestured toward the golden fluorescent lights, the black and yellow signage, at Stiles standing stock still and Bambi-eyed behind the counter, holding a chunk of frozen bacon to the top of his head- “whatever the hell this is.  I’ll see you around.”

She waved good-bye to Stiles through the window, who raised a hesitant hand back to her, and walked out of the parking lot.

Roughly a year and a half later, Braeden thumbed through a used newspaper while she waited at her local coffee shop for the barista to call her name.  She flipped from business to sports, passing the society section on her way, when a pithy headline caught her attention.  

Waffle Brawls lead to Wedding Bells.

Huh.  So that’s what all the fighting was really about.

Underneath the catchy title was a byline: “Groom learned sixteen new ways to cook eggs during fearsome flirtation.”

“Caramel Macchiato for Braeden!” 

Braeden tossed the paper onto the tabletop, leaving it open to Stiles and Derek’s wedding announcement, and left the coffee shop with a laugh on her lips.  

You couldn’t make this shit up.  Except at Waffle House.

__________

As per usual tumblr won’t let me link to anything so the Reddit post that inspired this story so you can find that in the notes!  Thanks for reading hope it made you laugh.

[lowdoseenby]

I wrote a super detailed post on gyno appointments for a trans guy on reddit so here's that

I care a lot about the health of trans folks, and as a trans anxious person myself I know how daunting these appointments can be. So I wrote a super detailed post on what an annual visit to the gyno is like, maybe it will help some of y’all if you’ve never been.

The "when you have to start" depends on who you ask. It used to be 18, or 20, or even 25. It used to be a year after you became sexually active. I believe the current recommendation is to have your first pap done by 21, regardless of sexually activity. That being said, anyone can and see a gyno at any age regarding their sexual health. I started at 17 for birth control and testing, and continue to go annually.

There is something called an annual visit, and it is a yearly exam you're kinda expected to do. They are about the same every year (until you also need to start getting mammograms, but you start that at a much older age and isn't necessary if you have had top surgery). You should go to these annual appointments regardless if you are on birth control, sexually active or not, on hormones, or even had a hysterectomy (unless your doctor has told you you're clear). In fact, it is believed that because trans men are less likely to go to these appointments, they don't receive the preventative healthcare they need and are more susceptible to illness and cancer. So please find a doctor you're comfy with and make sure you can see a doctor if you're able.

Here is how an annual visit might go. I'll also mention that I've seen a handful of doctors for pelvic exams now. All have treated me with respect, most I have been out to. They understand that they do a vulnerable and intrusive thing and really try to be patient. They tend to walk me through each step and keep me informed, and you can ask for the same.

First I always give a urine sample, for a pregnancy test among other things (insurance will literally not run anything without this test, even if it is impossible for you to get pregnant like myself). Typically they tell me to head to the bathroom and there will be instructions (write your name on the cup, wipe with this, pee a little then in the cup, seal and put in this box).

Then I might have a blood test, since I am typically there for STD testing as well. I sit down, they take a few vials of blood. I sign a lot of paperwork about what happens if I am positive for certain things.

Then I am taken to an exam room. A nurse typically asks me if there is anything I want to talk to the doctor about that day, and takes my vitals (temp, B/P, HR, etc). Then they will leave while I change. I typically get full undressed and change into a gown. The gown normally has buttons at the top and may have ties in the back, I'm also normally given a blanket. At this point I sit on the exam bed and wait for the doctor.

When (I'll say she because I always seem women doctors, but this is standard stuff) she arrives for the exam she'll have me lay down, there are two big things from here, other than just talking. The breast exam and pelvic exam. She also normally has a nurse or assistant with her for the exams, and I have always been able to have someone with me if I wanted.

The breast exam is really fast and painless, but awkward. I have always been laying down for this, but you could be stood up. My doctors tend to talk to me during it to kinda ease tension. She will undo the buttons on the top of the gown, to a quick visual inspection for anything out of the ordinary, and then lay the gown back down. Then she does a phsyical exam by pressing with her palm or fingers around my nipple and circularly out, checking for bumps and issues. It takes under a minute for both sides typically. Awkward, but painless, and everyone who ever gave me one was very polite about it.

Then the pelvic exam. You'll be laying in an exam bed. You'll be instructed to put your ankles in some stirrups and move your butt all the way to the edge of the bed. The blanket they gave you goes over your knees so you're totally covered for all this. The doctor will take a seat at the end of the table, and might have an assistant nearby to hand her things. Obviously, this is vulnerable and no fun for anyone, but your doctor knows this and wants to be polite and get through it too. She will lift the blanket so that she can see, but anyone else in the room couldn't. Another quick visual inspection of your nethers, and then usually they put the blanket back down unless they need to see something. There is a digital (that means finger) exam. She'll put on gloves and lube and put 1-2 fingers inside your vagina and feel your cervix. My doctor also normally does this and stands up and presses on my uterus and ovaries to feel for something. Obviously how penetration feels depends on the person, but for me this is uncomfortable but not painful. After that is the speculum (i think is what its called) part. This is a tool used to open your vagina a little so that the cervix is easily seen and found. My doctor has a warming bed for hers so the tools she uses are not ice cold and then going in my body, which is nice. The speculum doesn't rock, it can hurt a bit especially if penetration isn't typical for you, but isn't terrible. She will also try and get this part over with safely and quickly. Using a lamp she will take another quick visual inspection of your cervix. If you are getting a pap smear, this is when that happens. She'll take a swab, kinda like a mascara wand, and rub it against your cervix for about a second. The swab she gets is then sent to a lab for tests. The prick of the pap smear is considered the worst part of the whole exam. It is not awesome but over quickly. Then everything can come out and you're pretty much done.

I have also had a vaginal ultrasound before (one where I did not need a full bladder though) and that was also pretty simple. They have a small wand that honestly looks like a thin gspot vibrator, they put a condom on it and lube it up. No need to look at my anatomy as they put it inside and then just twist it to get the visuals (in this case my ovaries and uterus when i got my IUD placed). Wasn't painful at all, but penetration doesn't bother me typically.

If you want to talk about anything you'll get a chance for that before or after the exam. I also promise your doctor doesn't care about hair, piercings, or tattoos. They use plenty of lube to make it as easy as possible. Warming stuff up, nice blankets and socks, and plenty of other things to make the experience as best it can be. Finding a trans informed doctor is of course a good idea too if you can, and in my experience they have been very respectful of my trans identity and anatomy. I hope this helps! Your sexual health is important, so try and get these exams if you're able !

[rhetoricalrogue]

31 Days of Wayhaven, Day 30

Prompt: Night Rating: G Words: 1,804 Characters: Cameron Buchanan, Nicolo Morelli Summary: This is the fic, if it were a show, that would be titled The Boys Talk About Their Feelings.  AKA, Unit Delta (D for Demotion!) field missions are boring as hell. Note: The mention of a certain type of shapeshifting animal is a nod to the Wayhaven Writers Group and a certain Saturday book club reading.

For the @31daysofwayhaven event.

Stakeouts were usually the most boring thing Nicky could think of doing.  Nothing usually happened on them and he hated staying still in one place.  At least this time he was partnered up with his Commanding Agent so the company was good and he didn’t have to sit out in his car freezing his ass off alone.

“You think there’s going to be any movement?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.  Drinking wasn’t the wisest idea he had, seeing that he’ll have to go out and find a tree or nearby bush take a piss behind sometime within the next hour or so, but the coffee was hot and he needed something to keep him awake.  Napping while doing boring surveillance was a surefire way to make sure that something important did happen that he would unfortunately miss.

“Probably not.”  Cam relaxed in the driver’s seat and grabbed a snack sized bag of chips he’d packed.  Stakeouts always made him hungry and it was one of the few times that he liked to indulge in junk food and convenience store ready made meals, especially if Nicky was around.  It was funny, the man had serious Opinions, capital O and everything, when it came to restaurant food, but the two of them could tear up a 7-11 if left alone without adult supervision, namely Penny and Winona.  “Looks like this is another wasted evening.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”  Nicky raised the night vision goggles he had been messing with and pointed towards some people who were walking away from their car.  “I think that’s a drug deal.”

Cam, who had no need for night vision goggles, tracked Nicky’s finger and rolled his eyes.  “Nick, those are kids.  They look like they’re twelve.”

“Then they’re out past curfew.  We should sneak up and scare the hell out of them.”

Cam gave him a disbelieving look before opening his chip bag.  “I’m not going to scare a few kids just because they’re walking home in the dark.”

“Spoilsport.”

“You want to be the next cryptid creepypasta on Reddit or somewhere, be my guest.  This isn’t the sixteen hundreds where you just had to worry about being stabbed if these kids were carrying knives, Nicky.  Kids these days are probably carrying mace and knives and I for one do not wish to spend my evening cold and covered in pepper spray.”

Nicky caught Cam mumbling especially when I could be spending my evening someplace better under his breath.  “So, scaring a few juveniles is out of the picture and we both know that tonight’s another wild evening of sitting in the car watching these two were...were-” he turned to Cam.  “What sort of shapeshifters are they again?”

“Bears.  The husband and wife are on thin ice for apparently attacking a home intruder.  They shifted into bear form while attacking her because they were afraid for their children sleeping upstairs.”

Nicky ran a hand over his face.  “You’ve got to be kidding me.  We’re dealing with the case that some of the agents are dubbing the Goldilocks Affair?”

Cam sighed.  “Look, I didn’t name it.  I feel bad for them, they were just defending their home.”

“Yeah, but they could have beaned her upside the head with a bat, they didn’t have to practically claw her to death.  From what I heard, the Agency had to go in as a group of doctors to memory wipe her and make her believe that she was out jogging in the woods when she slipped and fell down a ravine.”

“How did they make her injuries look like she fell?  I saw the file report, there were definitely bite marks involved.”

“You got me, you know how I feel about the Agency when they start doing shady shit like this.”

Cam nodded, grabbing the binoculars on the dash and looking around the area.  He paused when he saw the husband stare out the window, his hand at the curtain.  “I can’t believe that these people think that we’re here as security, just in case the woman has friends who figure things out and want to retaliate.”  He gave a brief wave back when the man waved at them. 

Nicky dug in the plastic bag full of food and pulled out a waxed package.  Unwrapping it, he took a bite of the handheld fried pie inside, the chocolate filling seeping out from the edges.   “I guess it’s better than them being paranoid and knowing that we’re here to look into them to make sure they don’t start making a habit of eating people in the privacy of their own home.”  Nicky stretched his long legs in front of him and started tapping a wordless tune on the car’s console as he chewed.  “So, you and Penny, huh?”

Cam stiffened.  He was wondering how long it would take for Nicky to bring that up. It had been a few days since Cam had told Nicky of his and Penny’s relationship, and he was surprised that it took their friend this long to start to pry again. “Yes, me and Penny.  I thought we went over this already.”

Nicky grinned and playfully punched him in the arm.  “We went over the fact that you and her were an item, and the fact that you were going to be a prude and not tell me a single sex-related thing, but we never really went over how the two of you went from sighing and mooning over the other when you thought the other wasn’t looking to holding hands and leaving socks on doorknobs.”

He rolled his eyes.  “There’s not much to explain?  I asked her out to dinner and made it clear that I wasn’t asking her out as a friend.  She agreed and we spent the evening talking about how much we wanted our relationship to change.”

“That,” Nicky spat, flopping in his seat and leaning his head back dramatically against the headrest, “has got to be the most boring of how I met my girlfriend stories I’ve ever heard.  Where is the drama?  The emotion?  The sizzling lust that finally gets to ignite after years of longing?”

Cam laughed.  “Sorry to disappoint.”

“This is the worst.  Twenty years, I’ve waited for payoff to all the pining and this is what I get?  Disgusting.”

“Well, we can’t all be you, Nicky.  When are you going to tell me about you and your surprise wife?”  As if by magic, Nicky’s phone lit up with a text notification from Isabela.  

“Speak of the devil,” he murmured, swiping at his phone and giving the picture on his lock screen a fond smile before opening up their chat.  “I told her I’d be working tonight, but she was free to text.  Didn’t think that you would want to hear me whisper sweet nothings into my phone or else I would have said that it would have been okay for her to call me.”

“Thanks,” Cam deadpanned, finishing his chips and digging into the bag for the sandwich he’d bought.  “But Nicolo, are you actually okay with this?  I mean, the woman put a spell on you that won’t let you die, didn’t try to find you and made it impossible for you to find her when she was pregnant with your daughter, and from what you told us, stabbed you to death when you went to meet her.”

Nicky shrugged.  “We all have our flaws.”

“Nicky, she killed you.  You were dead on her kitchen floor.  If that’s not a red flag that this relationship is toxic, I don’t know what is.”

“And I’ve been dead in many other places over the course of my life, that isn’t new.”  Nicky had a faint smile on his face as he finished texting.  “This, Cameron.  This talking with a woman and slowly getting to know her instead of heavily flirting just to get into her bed for a brief fling?  This is new.”

“And what do you think about it?”

“I don’t know yet.  Part of me doesn’t want to put too much hope in this working out because I don’t want to be disappointed if the other shoe drops, but part of me does want this to work out.”  He lifted his phone as it vibrated with her reply.  “I’ve gotten to know my daughter, Cam.  Having a family wasn’t quite the first thing on my mind back when I was still alive.  I thought I had time to play around and be the romantic, but really I was just being a fool.  And I’ve continued to be the fool all these years because it was easier to fall back on that aspect of my life instead of growing up.”

Cam shook his head.  “Come on, Nicky, I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit.  You’ve been a fine asset to this unit and there’s no one else I’d trust to have my back than you.”

“Thanks, you don’t know how much that means to me.”  He looked at him.  “And you know that I trust you and our team with mine. You’re my brother, Cameron, even if I am older than you by a few centuries.”

“Family is important, and I hope that whatever happens with yours works out for you.”  He paused.  “But really, what do you think will happen between you and Isabela?  Will you ask her to come here?  Would you leave the Agency?”

“I don’t know.  You know how Facility life is, Cam.  She’s a witch who’s had her own space for centuries, she’d hate it here.”  Nicky laughed as he took another sip of his coffee.  “Then again, could you see me as a civilian?  I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, especially since I wouldn’t have the same salary to buy all the shiny new gadgets I can get my hands on here, not to mention having disposable income to get bespoke clothing whenever I feel like it.” 

“I’ve seen stranger things, though I’ve got to admit, seeing you in a day job?  That would be the weirdest sight of all.  What would you even do?”

“I could always be a food critic.”

Cam snorted, but hid the sound by opening up a can of soda.  “Well, whatever you decide to do, I’m sure that you would be brilliant at it.”  He eyed him.  “And don’t take this the wrong way, I’m not pushing you out of the unit either.  I would love to have you around forever.”

“An eternity watching werebear houses and making sure that little tea shops run by witches were up to code?”  Nicky drained his coffee cup and reached into the bag for an energy drink Winona would have had a conniption over if she’d been there to see him drink. .  “Count me in.”

[sorenvaxana]

forgot to post this platonic fonnie one shot I did the other day. y’all should totally read it

“How in God’s name would I be a strawberry?” Was a sentence Fox never expected he would say ever in his life.

Basically, Fox was spending the night at Bonnie's house. So far they spent a good few hours playing Mario Kart. They were repeatedly shushed by one of Bonnie's mothers the whole time, whereas the other offered(and managed)to beat their asses at the game.

After that, they decided to chill out and eat pizza rolls while watching Youtube. Bonnie's mothers had gone to bed shortly after they were done eating, so Bonnie and Fox spent a little while deciding what to do now that would be quiet.

Bonnie had suggested they ask each other random questions back and forth, and Fox agreed. That all led up until now, where Bonnie looked at a list of questions on his phone – they had ran out of questions, so they decided to look into a random site for ideas – and proceeded to ask "What type of fruit would you be?"

"I mean, I feel like it makes more sense than a cherry?" Bonnie replied through giggles.

"How?! I'm absolutely certain that I'm more likely to be a cherry. How does a strawberry make more sense?" Fox shot back, flabbergasted.

Bonnie raised his hands, both of his palms sideways with his fingers facing Fox in a 'let me explain' gesture. "Like...I don't know? Because strawberries are red?" He lowered his hands halfway through his sentence, his palms facing the ceiling now.

"Cherries are red!" Fox did a similar motion, pointing his elbows at his knees as his palms faced upward.

Bonnie full on laughed. "I don't- I don't know! You just don't remind me of a cherry?!" 

"Abby's more likely to be a strawberry than me! God- How am I a strawberry?!" Fox had started laughing, too. The ridiculousness of the situation dawning on him.

"I- You're right, you're right!" Bonnie and Fox were both losing it now. Fox was smiling widely as breathy giggles escaped his mouth.

"Just- Give me the phone! Give me the phone." Fox reached his hand out, grabbing Bonnie's phone as Bonnie handed it to him shakily.

"God," Fox breathed out. "How did you think I was a strawberry- What fruit would you think the rest of our friends are?! What would Freddy be?" 

"Uh- A banana?" Bonnie suggested, unsure.

Bonnie bursted into a fit of more giggles as Fox gave him a shocked look. “A banana?!”

“I mean, what else would he be?” Bonnie had started rocking back and forth now as he continuously giggled.

Fox paused, biting his lip as he got lost in thought for a moment. “Okay, you got me there, but you’re still on thin ice.”

Both boys immediately started laughing again, trying to keep themselves silent with barely any success.

“Alright, alright. Next question,” Fox declared with a wide smile.

“Oh no. I’m scared.” Bonnie was still giggling.

“What confuses you the most?” Fox squinted at the phone screen in confusion. “That’s such a vague ass R-slash-ask-reddit question.”

Bonnie promptly stopped rocking as his constant giggling eased a bit. ”I think I have a direct answer though.”

Fox set the phone down beside him. “Spill.”

“Emotions,” Bonnie said simply.

Fox placed his chin in his hand, looking at Bonnie expectantly. When he received a confused look in return, he replied with a persistent “elaborate?”

Bonnie shrugged in response. “I don’t know, they’re just...Confusing. Like, really hard to understand.”

Fox pondered for a moment. “I get what you mean,” he replied. “Like, sometimes you feel a certain emotion even when you probably shouldn’t?”

Bonnie nodded. “Or when you don’t recognize the emotion.”

Fox raised an eyebrow. “Can you describe it?”

Bonnie began staring at his fingers as he picked them absentmindedly. “It’s...Kind of like what you said. It’s an emotion that feels like it shouldn’t be there.”

“What makes you feel the emotion?”

“Bon.”

Fox’s interest immediately grew. “Bon makes you feel this emotion?”

“Uh-huh.” Bonnie didn’t look back up at Fox.

“What does it feel like?”

Bonnie stopped picking at his nails, mentally trying to put together a sentence that made sense. “It makes me feel giddy, I guess? It’s kind of hard to describe without me going on an inco- An incoherent word vomit.”

“Go ahead,” Fox urged.

Bonnie took a deep breath. “It makes me kind of...Self-aware? Like, I’ll be around Bon and I- I get the urge to act…Better? Like- That’s probably not the right word but whenever I’m around him I just wanna impress him? I thought it was admiration at first but…”

Fox put his hand on Bonnie’s shoulder. Bonnie made brief eye contact with him before looking back down at his hands.

“He...He said “Let’s go together, as friends”. When he said that I felt...Weird. Like, I felt upset–” Bonnie took in a shaky breath–”and I didn’t know why. I spent all night trying to think of reasons why I got upset.”

“Did you reach a conclusion?” Frankly, Fox already knew it was a crush by how Bonnie was describing it, but he’d let Bonnie explain.

“I...Think so. I- I spent hours trying to think of why I wanted to...Impress him so badly. I spent days trying to figure out why I felt so upset when that- that one guy asked him out- And why I felt so relieved yet scared when he- When he turned him down–” Bonnie’s voice grew shakier by the minute–“I spent weeks trying to figure out why whenever he smiled I couldn’t stop thinking about it even after a whole day. I spent- I spent a long time trying to figure it out, and- and I think I know why now.”

“Why?” Fox shifted closer to Bonnie.

Bonnie finally looked back up at Fox, and the sight of his expression shattered Fox’s heart.

Bonnie’s face was a light shade of pink, looking as if he was seconds from crying. His bottom lip was trembling slightly as he tried to keep himself still. His eyebrows were furrowed, obviously seeming distraught. His eyes are what took the cake though, they were glistened with tears threatening to spill over at any moment.

“I’m in love with him,” Bonnie confessed. “I’m in love with Bon and I don’t know what to do.”

A sob escaped his lips and Fox immediately pulled Bonnie into a hug. This was all really sudden, and Fox was having trouble trying to think of words to say, but it was Bonnie, his best friend. He’d do whatever it takes to get Bonnie happy again, so that’s exactly what he is going to do.

“Shhh. It’s okay. It’s alright.” This is what people do when comforting, right? Fox’s thought process broke off quickly when Bonnie gripped onto his shirt and trembled. His shirt was getting wet from Bonnie’s tears, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not while Bonnie’s muffled cries were the only thing he could hear.

“I- I- I don’t know–” Bonnie sobbed–“what I’m goi- going to do-” He cried harder, his whole body shaking with each sob.

Fox outstretched his legs on either side of Bonnie, letting him lean against Fox more comfortably. It was the best he could do at the moment, as he was still trying to form a coherent thought process.

Now, Fox wasn’t that close to Bon, but he did know for sure that Bon liked Bonnie back. Fox was conflicted, he knew that he could just tell Bonnie that Bon liked him back. He knew that was probably not the best solution though, he’d let Bonnie take his time.

Bonnie continued to cry. He was trying his best to hold his sobs in, but that only caused them to escape stronger. Fox just slowly rubbed his back without saying anything, he just let Bonnie cry as much as he needed to.

“I- I’m sorry,” Bonnie managed to choke out, finally calming down a bit.

“What are you saying sorry for?” Fox’s voice was gentle.

“This was- This was really sudden and I- I don’t even know why I started- started to cry-” Bonnie sobbed again.

Fox started leaning back, dragging Bonnie down with him. “It’s alright,” he said once he hit the pillow. “Have you ever had a crush before?”

“No, none that- that I can recall,” Bonnie replied brokenly. “Maybe a crush on some- some fictional character in a ca- cartoon when I was younger, but it was ne- never anything like this.”

Fox bit his lip, trying to think of what to say. “It’s completely fine to have a crush, y’know.” A brief wave panic coursed through Fox, too harsh too harsh too harsh- “Like, you’re not being dramatic about it or whatever. What I mean is, everyone gets crushes. It’s not the end of the world if you gain one.”

“I know,” Bonnie assured, his breathing slowly going back to normal. “I just- What am I going to do...?”

“Who knows what to do when they get a crush?” Fox sympathized. “Anything could happen, really.”

“That’s what I’m scared of,” Bonnie mumbled. “What if he gets weirded out if he finds out? What if- what if he hates me?-”

“He won’t hate you,” Fox interrupted.

Bonnie leaned up slightly to look at Fox. He opened his mouth to say something, but Fox cut him off.

“He won’t hate you or be weirded out. He’s not some kid in your classroom who you stare at sometimes. He’s your friend, Bonnie. Your close friend. The worst he can do is not return your feelings.”

Bonnie didn’t say anything for a moment, he just stared at Fox in utter silence. Fox tensed up a bit, hoping he said the right thing to comfort him.

“You’re right.” Bonnie gave him a slight smile which Fox returned in relief. “You’re right. I wasn’t- I didn’t think about that,” Bonnie continued, letting his head fall back against Fox’s chest.

They just sat in silence now. Fox continuously rubbed circles on Bonnie’s back while Bonnie got his breathing back under control.

It was nice.

Bonnie and Fox generally never got to spend time together like this. Well, they did get to spend time together, just not like this. They always joked around, played video games, they were never serious. They still knew the other was there for the other, though. Behind all the playful arguments and the sleep deprived 4 AM conversations, they cared for each other.

Fox briefly closed his eyes as he let out a heavy and slow breath. He loved his friends, so much. He didn’t show it often, but he truly did care for them. He hated seeing them upset in any way, shape or form. He hated it if he wasn’t able to be there for them, to comfort them, to be a good friend.

He cherished moments like this, he cherished being there for the ones he loved. He wouldn’t dare tease his friends for being upset, no matter what the reason was. He used to do that when he was younger, and he wanted to avoid making that mistake ever again. It took him awhile to figure out how much of an ass he was when he was younger, but when he finally realized, he made a mental promise to not be like that to his current friends.

He loved them all so much that he couldn’t even put it into words.

“Hey.” Bonnie’s voice broke through his thoughts. “What about you? What confuses you the most?”

Fox stilled his hand, staring at the ceiling as he thought for a moment. “How you thought I was a goddamn strawberry.”

Bonnie giggled, his shoulders shaking slightly as he tried to contain his laughter. Fox smiled, chuckling along with him.

Fox loved his friends a lot, and that included Bonnie.

[aiweirdness]

GPT-2: It learned on the Internet

Prompt: The black-capped chickadee is a small songbird native to

Response: The black-capped chickadee is a small songbird native to Africa that is powerfully seductive. In the songs of Barry Sequson, Harry Holness and Alan Emerson the black-capped chickadee competes with others—and climbs on top of each other and fights with high-powered snakes, Emperor jockeys and mysterious unicorns.

This is text generated by an artificial neural network that the researchers at OpenAI unveiled this week. In fact, it’s generated by the worst neural network they trained. Even the worst neural network generates text that, if not demonstrating actual knowledge of chickadees, is leaps and bounds over the coherence of any neural networks I’ve trained myself. They’ve built in a way for the model to zoom out and look at longer-term features of text, which means it’s much better at making sentences hold together, and even remembering what it’s talking about from sentence to sentence.

The model learned by crawling the Internet and seeing which words are used together in which order, trying to build up an internal model that will let it predict which word comes next in a sentence. It’s similar in concept to the models I’ve trained to generate paint colors, first lines of novels, and Harry Potter fan fiction, except it’s a lot more powerful. It also learned from a much larger dataset than I use, consisting of every page that was linked to somewhere on Reddit with a minimum number of upvotes. That encompasses a LOT of topics.

It includes fan fiction, for example.

Prompt: Harry wished that Hermione would hurry up. The icing was beginning to harden.

Response: Even now, the cracks only hurt and were beginning to make the steel in her hair and tie in like clumps. Hermione sipped the bitter frost from her dinner and chewed on her eating soup.

Prompt: Darth Vader entered the room, cape billowing. "What is the meaning of these... festivities?"

Response: ”Strange and solemn, now," Princess Leia replied. "Will pirates make jokes at Jabba's birthday cake? Oh, and for a moment, Darth Vader was too full of himself for that ceremony, hence all the mirth."

"Did your father suffer there?" Vader roared and growled and turned to gaze up from the balcony.

The model can also try to communicate Important Science Facts, although its actual facts are a bit suspect.

Prompt: Our solar system consists of the inner and outer planets, separated by an asteroid belt. It has

Response: Our solar system consists of the inner and outer planets, separated by an asteroid belt. It has only one sun, Pluto.  Mercury rotates on its axis a little to allow a few planets, called gas giants, to be independently charged.  During some of these cycles periods between  90% and 64% of the solar system's surface might be charged.  (Not enough is needed for vermin but that is gradually fading away.)

Prompt: Throughout the long cold Antarctic winter, the residents of South Pole Station

Response: Throughout the long cold Antarctic winter, the residents of South Pole Station lost virtually all of their ancient crustaceans, most notably pterodactyls, and all of the all-important plankton hydrates and protozoan eggs of the five ordered species of mammal.

Other deposits for sea organisms included eraymarine calcifye, the redfin ball, penguin heads, and the red whale.

Prompt: A carbon atom's outer orbitals

Response: A carbon atom's outer orbitals are basically a ring of ions around the border of thin mini-glaciers (usually colloquially referred to as bubble"). Like viruses, these planes are in islands in large weather groups. In and out they get all of their energy from many small regions of solar wind and dense cloud cover (usually thousands of square meters). Like viruses, their weaponry is imaged to record the movement of material-- (by deflecting rays, for instance) to complete waves or to cause the material to deform under shell impact. Capacitors--like gravity ids-- produce buoyancy with the exhalation of liquid hydrogen atmospheres, an essential electrolytic letdown when the material is what one calls a watermelon. Heat range is quite long and space is limited so one must stick with watermelons for a stability boost at a given coordinate system vital to shelter those who require them in space.

Interestingly, it takes its cues from the phrasing of the prompt more than from its specific content.

Prompt: Behold, the three-toed sloth, known for its

Response: Behold, the three-toed sloth, known for its ichorotic smile, with its four shades, pantered organic wizened broken bony paws, bulging knees, hairy tubercles, and orange's-black mandibles.

It’ll also do recipes, delightfully. Its recipes aren’t enormously more coherent than the recipes I’ve been able to generate. Part of the problem seems to be that the model is getting a bit confused by other types of recipes in its dataset.

Prompt: Quitterbread bars. Ingredients:

Response (some formatting adjusted for readability):  

Quitterbread bars.

Ingredients:

Creamy cole slaw, chopped fresh cilantro, garlic, etc. 1  few very good options at lime-light, milky-white (at a light foodie) space 1  medicated towel (albino & aluminum mesh - see a friend's link to see if you can use it carefully & what you're expecting) a few paraffin-y dice (sleep about half of the weight, use the 1 ounce plus 2 pounds extra when handling these onto a hot baking sheet) 20 baking sheets 30 1/2 lb. white sanding board 1 didn't dry paper cup 1 cup extra hot water

boil the butter and electrical polishing after 20 minutes 3LB neurons

gently massage these into their slots, reduce heat in oven to approximately 350°F

stuff seam side-side down with binding compound, avoiding every drop of water the thinner sides will be tidy and seperate and pull out after 24 hours know how long they will keep it's held well, thin enough to live with 3-4 weeks teach you all the serenity you'll need to know for fantasy...

_______________________________________ >>> A limited amount of not-spicy crème brûlée (orange - read about how to do it in Meteor!) I used black chocolate cake Crème Brûlée

Painted cocktail draped across the small purple curtain of Shana Liu's Stepmother Coconut Guild guest house in France. 35' x 30' $150

Embargo thank you. Our magical rich chocolate cube

Still, its memory is better than any model I’ve worked with before. Look how it manages to almost remember that it was making a list!

Prompt: My 10 favorite animals are: 1.

Response:  

My 10 favorite animals are: 1. zebras with a white scar on the back; 2. insiduous spiders and octopus; 3. frog with large leaves, hopefully black; 4. cockatiel with scales; 5. razorbill with wings hanging about 4 inches from one's face and a heart tattoo on a frog. 3. cockatric interlocking tetrapods that can be blind, cut, and eaten raw. 4. black and white desert crocodiles living in sunlight. 5. zebra and many other pea bugs.

And this is just the worst model, the one that was trained with 117 million parameters instead of 1542 million. What can the best model do?

Here’s an example of its output:

This give you a clue as to why the OpenAI researchers have decided for now not to release their best model to the public. They’re worried about people using it to produce destructive bots, fake news, phishing emails, and other dangers. It might be difficult indeed to moderate a forum filled with angry time-wasting mostly-coherent bots. In their blog post they posted more examples of the full-powered model producing impressively coherent text, including a delightful news story on four-horned South American unicorns.

What will they end up doing with their model? Even now, someone else with the time and resources - a government, for example - could train and use a model like theirs, especially now that they’ve shown everyone what their technique can do. They’re hoping that their paper will prompt some regulation, or at least some countermeasures, that can guard against this technology’s misuse. They’re also hoping that other researchers will stop to think about potential misuse before they release their models to the public.

For now, the GPT-2 version OpenAI released isn’t going to fool very many people.

Prompt: NO!!! You should NEVER feed a dog from a silver platter.

Response: It will make them bark in farts when you put it away.

Prompt: Actually, you should never microwave your food, because

Response: it holds sodium, mercury, mercury or "cold enemy cocktail" flavorings and the exact same flavorings used then for chili powder. This is wrong, it's not safe, and some people get hurt while cooking at their homes! If you have these very dangerous ingredients and want to keep them around, you should absolutely rinse them and cook them in a dishwasher and set aside.

Support AI Weirdness and get bonus content: A few more GPT-2 samples I generated.

You can download and play with the second-best model here - requires some familiarity with installing and running python code. Or there’s a colaboratory version (works in-browser; no coding required). Content warning: it learned some awful stuff from the Internet.

[purplesurveys]

754

Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don’t even have one of those yet.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? I'm not sure. I know she's told me before about being diagnosed with depression, but I’ve forgotten if it’s mild or severe, or if she has the whole thing or is just showing symptoms of it. She only mentioned it in passing so I figured it wasn’t something she wanted to touch on further.

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? Probably but I’d have to be really careful to not end up shattering my legs or any other part of my body haha, but knowing me I’d probably land badly. I live on the second floor but the house isn’t that high, so I think I could give it a shot.

What would you do if you found out the last person you called was pregnant/got someone pregnant? I’d be very confused because she’s very gay and also because she’s only been staying at home since March.

Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? I wouldn’t be able to relate since store brand’s not really a thing here. Only SM makes their own stuff but they’re purposely cheaper because they’re meant to be of lower quality to begin with. Other than that, we don’t really have a choice but buy brand name.

Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Just the tampons, probably. I never need condoms so I have no reason to feel awkward buying them, and in fact I’ve volunteered to buy them for Angela whenever she feels shy haha; I definitely have no reason to be embarrassed buying pads because periods are a thing. I will likely feel most awkward getting tampons since I don’t know any one person who uses them where I live and it’ll most likely be seen as an unusual purchase since they’re quite uncommon.

If a stranger went in your room, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it? Probably. I have a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk, several Audrey Hepburn memorabilia, and a lot of pink stuff so it very much looks like a stereotypical girly room. I do think it’s kinda balanced out by the amount of WWE merch I own, but yeah otherwise my other stuff screams girly.

Are your parents gullible? When it comes to home stuff my mom is basically a witch; she can immediately tell if my dog peed somewhere, if I lost something, or if a dining chair isn’t positioned right. But when it comes to fake news on Facebook she will occasionally flock to them hahaha I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind her that phones DO NOT emit radiation from 12AM to 5AM and that it’s only a ploy to get people to sleep early lmfao. My dad is pretty intelligent and won’t be easily fooled about anything.

Do you still own a VCR? I know my parents owned one but I don’t know if they still brought it here when we moved 12 years ago or if they already threw it out.

About how much money have you spent on food in the past two weeks? :( Zero pesos. The only thing I’ve spent on this entire quarantine was a bottle of soju I asked my dad to buy and I paid him after.

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? Yes.

If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go? UPTC since they have like ten shoe stores there.

How much was the last pair of shoes you bought? I haven’t had a new pair in like a year now, but the last one we bought cost arounddddd ₱4200, if I remember correctly.

What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? Gray. No, it was a gift from my parents.

Do you have a second home? I guess I count my childhood home my second home. My grandma and cousins remain in that house, so we visit from time to time and when we’re there I’ve noticed that I still retain the same tendencies and habits from when I still lived there.

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? I’ll use the last person I chatted in this context since I haven’t texted in a hot minute, and that person would be Andrew. I’d be quite concerned since they’ve told me they’ve quit smoking, so there must be something extremely stressful going on for them to start smoking. I’d check up on them immediately.

Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? I do super hate the smell of beer even though I have no other choice but to drink it sometimes; I still find the smell of cigarettes disgusting although my contempt for them has lessened over the last few years seeing as a lot of people I know are smokers so I’ve been around that smell a lot, and also because I’ve started too. I’ve never been around weed and I don’t know how it smells.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger by a month.

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? Not really? What I get most frequently is people thinking I was grumpy at first, but tbh I am pretty grumpy so they aren’t far off from the truth. With me it’s usually a what you see is what you get thing whether someone’s meeting me for the first or the 78th time.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Nope, not a thing here. I’ve always found the variety of cookies so fascinating though and I’ve always wanted to try the Thin Mints and Samoas since they’re what I hear about the most :(

Do you like waffles? They’re okay, though I only ever eat waffles with fried chicken and never just by themselves. I prefer pancakes.

Do you watch birthing videos on a day-to-day basis? Nah man wtf? I have no reason to be doing that lmao.

Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive? I don’t find either attractive. I get curious when I see tattoo because I wonder what the story behind it is and what it means to the person who has it, that’s all. As for piercings, I don’t really like them < Pretty much. Like I don’t go looking around for tattoos on a person to find them attractive; I just like hearing the histories behind them. Same with piercings, I don’t need them to be attracted to someone.

Would you talk to someone you don’t know on the internet? Only on social media that I’m already familiar with and comfortable in, like on this Tumblr, or Twitter, sometimes Facebook. I wouldn’t go to like Quora to ask something or join forums or even post anything on Reddit.

How often do you drink Monster? Never. Energy drinks scare me lol.

Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? I’ve made those for myself, but not with friends. I remember filming a house tour with my flip phone’s video camera back when I was like, 8 hahaha I was ahead of our time for sure.

Do you like to buy those Warped Tour compilations? I don’t even know those existed. I just knew of Warped Tour and that all the cool bands of the time would play there, but that’s it. I’m clueless about everything else that goes on in there.

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? You mean just a restaurant? Inside, for sure. I would never agree to eating outside and am always willing to wait a few extra minutes. I hate having to contend with passersby while I eat my food as I feel that it ruins the experience as well as the time I have with the person/s I’m eating with.

Do you own a nightgown? No but I had duster dresses that I’d wear to bed as a kid, if that counts lol.

Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box? Probably not. My mom wouldn’t allow us to play with those and she’d immediately view them as trash that needs to be thrown out.

Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom? No. I usually used the sheets as a cape or robe, then I’d pretend to be a queen.

Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? My paternal grandparents do. My maternal grandfather used to regularly use a phone before he passed. My maternal grandmother refuses to learn :(

Have you ever had sex or something like it? Hahahaha ‘something like it.’ Yeah, I’ve had sex.

Have you ever read a George Orwell book? I tried reading 1984 when I was like 13 but didn’t understand it from the get-go. I haven’t continued it since but honestly I’m very open to revisiting it one of these days.

Have you ever worn fishnets? I don’t remember ever doing so. I feel like it’d be so uncomfortable; I hate wearing stockings as it is.

How many piercings and tattoos do you have? I only have my ears pierced and no tattoos < Sameeee.

Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? Nope.

In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Hahahahaha yeah, just out of curiosity. I’ve never seen anything interesting, but I keep trying.

Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? Be eaten out right now. I’ve had too much abstinence from sexual activity for my own liking lol < Ok it’s 1 in the afternoon but SAME lol

Do you always wear your seat belt? Honestly, no and it’s a shitty habit that I need to correct ASAP. I never notice that I’m not wearing them until it’s one of my parents riding with me and they scold me for driving out of the village without a seatbelt. I do put it on when I enter bigger cities with more police patrolling the area like Ortigas and Makati, or when I drive out of town, but usually it stays off.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. I’ve had a crush on a teacher, but I obviously didn’t legit like him haha.

Have you ever been in a play? Just the annual school plays we do that all students are required to be a part of. I forgot to mention this in a recent survey but I was in an acting club in Grade 1 and I played Cinderella’s prince in our culminating play, heheh.

Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? Sure.

Is there ice cream in your freezer? Yeah. My parents love ice cream so we always have an ample supply of their favorite flavors. Sometimes we’ll also have a tub of cookies and cream since it’s our (the kids’) favorite flavor.

Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully? For sure. I always laugh at inappropriate moments so I do fake coughs a lot.

Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? I suppose so. Hate is a strong word and I’d rather not use it, but while the music my girlfriend listens to wouldn’t be what I’d tune into on a regular basis, the lyrics are admittedly very well-written and intelligent and reflective, and I don’t mind it when she shares her favorite songs with me :)

Does your bathroom have a window? Yes but they’re high up on the wall.

Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? No, I’m really scared of threading :( Everyone always gets out of the salon with their eyebrow area all red and tingling and it’s enough to scare me off of threading forever lmao. I’m not very conscious about how my own eyebrows look, so I just let them grow out.

When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books? I’ve only seen snippets of the movie.

Who was the last band you saw live? Paramore. I miss them already.

Do you believe prayer really works? I’m not gonna invalidate the fact that it works for a lot of people. But it’s just not my cup of tea, and I honestly don’t know how to feel whenever someone says they pray for me since I don’t believe in it anyway. Of course I thank them, but on the inside I’m always a little puzzled.

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? Never been. I know Stereo Hearts and that was always a fun song to sing, but it’s not my favorite either.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I don’t really have either, but I’d go with frosted flakes I guess?

Have you been on a date in the park? I would love to have one of these if we actually had parks. How nice would it be to take a long stroll, have a picnic, and just sit on a bench talking for hours?

Ever dated someone you were best friends with first? Yes. At first I didn’t want to risk it since we were reeeeeally close, but I don’t regret asking her out.

Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? Thankfully no. Although my grandpa and his sister did pass from heart attacks and I’m starting to be scared that it might develop to be a pattern for some of us. But other than that, both sides of the family are relatively healthy.

Do you have asthma? No. But Gab does and I get really worried once her breathing becomes labored at night. I keep telling her to get a new nebulizer after her old one broke, but I dunno what’s become of that request of mine.

Are tongue piercings slutty? No, and it’s not like being slutty is a bad thing lol.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? No one in real life but I do still have a crush on CM Punk who’s turning 42 this year hahah. I don’t think that crush is ever gonna go away.

Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Gab.

Do you remember those cool highlighters that smelled like popcorn? I knew about markers and ballpens, but not highlighters.

Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? No thanks. I’d rather have somewhere to go home to or rest at by the end of the day, and if I was gonna do this I prefer to be with someone who knows a thing or two about surviving in the woods.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? Nope. The worst thing I’ve done was write on one of the desks in grade school.

Least favorite alcoholic drink? Out of the ones I tried, I didn’t like whisky at all. Too bitter for me < Twins. I hated the ever living shit out of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels when I tried them.

Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke? I haven’t. I have a cousin named Luke that I used to babysit and I kissed him a lot when he was a baby, if that counts lol.

How did you meet the last male you texted? I met them at the Marcos heroes’ burial protests. I have no idea how I started talking to them, but I think it was because they were wearing a Nexus shirt and I told them I like it, and we started talking from there.

Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Yup. I wasn’t allowed to make an email address when I was young so I had to sneak around and make a fake Yahoo username so my parents would never find me. I don’t remember what it was anymore but it was for sure embarrassing so I’m just grateful my brain threw that memory out.

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? OMG this survey is so long. I put it on my left hand.

Do you have a bull ring through your nose? Nope, no piercings.

Do you and your dad get along? Better than my mom and I.

Can you see your purse right now? Nah, it’s in my room upstairs.

Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? I am not. I haven’t had a reason to in a while.

Are there products in your hair? Just shampoo and conditioner.

When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? No. Whaaaat, those exist? I just blow my nose or just live through the stuffiness.

Do you actually like sneezing? I love it, it’s such an underrated sensation lmao. It feels better when you’ve actually been needing to sneeze for a while and it finally comes through.

Have you taken a shower yet today? Nope, I usually take them at night.

Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? I have two.

Do you wear skirts a lot? Not really, I don’t like skirts because I feel exposed wearing them. I prefer shorts.

Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Nope.

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? I can remember five pairs right now, but I have many other kinds of bottoms in my closet like culottes and leggings.

Do you like hoodies? They’re okay. I find them more comfortable if they belong to someone else, hah.

Big ones or the form fitting kind? Form-fitting if I’m buying for myself; big ones if I’m borrowing from Gabie.

Do you wear polo shirts a lot? I never wear them. My mom made me wear them often as a kid and it made me feel like a boy, so I’ve kinda had a predisposition to be wary of them as I got older since I was teased frequently enough about being a tomboy as a kid as it is.

Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think we probably did.

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I have one big regret and the rest of my ‘regrets’ are small and are stuff like “I regret not picking up food on my way home because I’m now hungry.” The way I’ve always thought is that I did the things I did before because I chose to do them and I was happy to do them, and I’ve honestly felt barely any regret even though things didn’t turn out the best. There’ve been mistakes but I’ve just chosen to learn from them instead of regretting them at the same time. Do you love your computer? Love it.

Do you drink coffee? Yeah. I’ve been doing it a lot this quarantine but I think it’s been giving me headaches, so I stopped for now.

Do you basically like all of your clothes? No. There are some at the bottom of the pile that I’m no longer crazy about anymore.

Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? My mom. She tends to know what looks best on me, and she also pays for the clothes hahaha.

[flistan]

How I take testosterone shots.

...with shots... of whiskey. I  kid, I kid...  >->

Hello!  I’m here to share all of my combined knowledge and experience about taking testosterone shots.  There’s a lot of information online, and it can be quite overwhelming.  I hope this helps!

Some quick things to note.

The more relaxed a muscle, the less it will hurt, if at all.  BREATHE.

Try experimenting with heat and cold.  I used to take my shots after a shower, but my doctors recommended using an ice pack instead.  I find cold actually works better, so you can use that ice pack (not directly on your skin of course) to reduce swelling and pain.

When sterilizing, give your alcohol a few seconds to dry, that way it’ll sting less or not at all.

Note I will be using the words syringe and needle a lot.  Syringe is the tube-part that holds your liquid.  The needle is the pointy metal part.  This is important to distinguish when it comes to measurements and what I’m trying to communicate.

Skin is made up of layers.  There’s a thin soft part on top and then a really dense layer of subcutaneous tissue.  This is a little tough to get through.  Once you start injecting, you may feel your needle hesitantly stop at this point.  Once you break through, it’ll seem your needle will just RUSH downwards.  The tissues below are much less dense.  Think trying to inject into a balloon filled with gel (without it popping).  Don’t let it startle you too much when it starts going in faster after that layer.  (See image below)

Store your testosterone bottle in a prescription bottle.  It’ll help keep it sterile, upright, and keep it from leaking in case that self-heal rubber seal thing doesn’t quite heal.  It’ll also be harder to lose since the testosterone bottles can be quite small sometimes.

Designate a sharps disposal receptacle.  Sharps disposal bins are just too damn expensive and don’t fit a whole lot.  Sure it’s safer for the environment and for those handling your trash, but you can also safely re-cap your needles and put them in a thick plastic bottle.  In design school, we disposed of our xacto blades this way to keep our housekeepers safe.  We don’t live in a perfect world, save your money, use a thick water bottle, fill that bottle up, recap your needles, etc.  I’m not sure if hazardous waste accepts water bottles full of needles or not, who knows.  If you’re afraid of your receptacle ending up in an ocean, I’d maybe try talking to your hazardous waste people (for the hormones as well as the needles).  Otherwise...  *shrug*  --AMENDMENT--  I recently found out that some cities like LA search your garbage for more recycling which can make this method dangerous for people searching through your garbage.  Take precaution, and unfortunately, you may have to buy a sharps disposal.  Sorry.  :/

Make sure you’re in a safe, quiet space away from pets, kids, annoying siblings, etc., anyone who can bother you or startle you or mess up your sterile space.

If you see any blueish veins on your skin, obviously don’t inject into those.  You will have pain and a bloody mess.  Ouch.

Speaking of, have your band-aid handy.

Don’t worry if some leaks out.  Testosterone can be absorbed through the skin, plus it’s such a little amount.

Learn your favorite needle gauge.  Inject-able testsosterone is a thick substance because it’s suspended in oil.  Therefore, you need larger gauge needles than for something like insulin (I swear insulin is like thinner than water and those needles are teeeeeny)(we have a diabetic cat).  Anywho, as with needles or tubes or piercings, the LOWER the number, the BIGGER/THICKER the size.

LOWER NUMBER = BIGGER SIZE

EXAMPLE: 16 gauge = OW TOO BIG DON’T USE THIS SIZE

EXAMPLE: 25 gauge = holy shit this is too thin, injecting will take hourssss is it even going in WTH.

I use 18g needles to draw my testosterone, 22/23g to inject.  Therefore, I buy 3mL syringes with 18g needles (any length) PLUS 23g 1 inch needles.  1.5″ is also available but unnecessary.  So if you want to go to the pharmacy and use what I use, ask for... (however many) 18g 3mL syringes with 23g 1″ needles.  Make sure they MATCH.  Some will say something like “Laura-Lok” or something like that, others won’t.  They either both have to say this or not say this- it’s the kind of twisting mechanism at the base of the needle.  Otherwise, you’re stuck with the same needle you use to draw and inject for the week.

You -can- use the same needles to draw your testosterone and to inject it, but each time you puncture something with a needle, it becomes damaged and more coarse.  This may make injecting harder or more painful.  I have a friend who prefers doing this with his size gauge because he feels the sharpness hurts him too much.  It’s all up to you.

USE NEW NEEDLES/SYRINGES EVERY TIME.  DO NOT RE-USE NEEDLES OR SYRINGES.  SOME PEOPLE DO IT.  DON’T DO IT.  NEEDLES AND SYRINGES ARE CHEAP.  IT’S NOT WORTH IT.

Image from this --> source.

This one’s from reddit, idk.  Don’t reuse needles, kids.  Unsanitary plus this.

How to prep your shot.

1- Sterilize the top of your testosterone bottle/vial.  If it’s new/capped, it doesn’t matter too much.  It’s a good habit to have though, especially if you’re uncapping it with dirty fingers.

2- Draw air into your syringe equal to your dosage.  This will help displace the liquid in your vial to make drawing it up easier.

3- With the vial down and your needle pointing down, insert the needle and inject the air into the vial.  Flip your syringe and vial upside-down so the vial is on top with your needle inside.  Draw up your dosage without bubbles.  **If you are swapping out needles, draw up an extra teeny bit as needles will retain some of the liquid.  So if you’re drawing to a line like .4mL, maybe hit juuust over that line.

4- Turn your bottle back down and withdraw your syringe/needle.

5- If you are swapping needles, turn your syringe up with the needle in the air.  Recap your needle, twist off, and twist on your new needle.  INJECT THE AIR OUT OF YOUR NEEDLE HEAD.  Do this by pressing gently on the plunger until you see no air bubbles in the needle’s base and you see a drop or two of fluid come out.  This is why you drew a slight bit extra fluid in step 3.  Getting the air out of the base can be hard, don’t worry.  This is because they’re built to trap the air from coming through for safety, but we don’t want to risk even that.

6- Your shot is ready!  Woo!  If you need to, you can gently recap your needle.  Try not to hit the tip of it.  If you do, it’s not the end of the world.

How to do your shot yourself.

The “proper” location in which to give yourself your testosterone shot, according to my endocrinologists’s nurse, is in your rectus femoris.

So sit down, relax, and measure about 1/2 of a hand away from your knee and a hand from your hip.  Stick towards the chunk of muscle that lays on the top outer side of your leg.  That’s your safest zone for painless injection.

After you’ve chosen a spot, sterilize it, and sterilize your fingers (a personal precaution I take).  Take your not-dominant fingers and gently press down and pull apart the skin near the injection site.  This helps reduce distance and toughness of injection.

Take a deep breath, keep breathing (lest your muscles tense up).  Insert your needle with your dominant hand.  Although it is advised to press the plunger with your non-dominant fingers, I prefer to do it with the same hand I’m injecting with.  (***This is where you aspirate.)  And inject.

You don’t have to have your needle in ALL the way, although it is recommended, especially if you’re a little chunkier than most.  If you inject in fat, that’s okay, it just may take longer for testosterone to hit your system.  Just make sure at least half an inch is in or more, k?  Try going in all the way if you can (if you have a 1″ needle).

After all of the testosterone is in, gently pull out the needle and you’re done!

If you’re shaking, that’s okay too.  My nurse laughed because as she was teaching me, it looked like I was giving myself a tattoo.  It was awful.  Awfully funny.

How to have someone give you your shot.

Prep your shot.

You’ll have to take off your underwear, or at least one buttcheek’s worth of cloth there if you can manage.  Chose your side.

Now, a lot of people, especially on TV, will inject into their own (or each others’) gluteus medius, which is like the side of your backside.  My nurse, however, told me this method which is in the gluteus maximus, the butt of your... butt.

From Rick and Morty, “Something Ricked this way Comes” No, testosterone is not pink.  Yes, I wish it was.

Lean over a counter or table, probably about as high as your waist maybe.  Whatever is comfortable and stable.

On the side you chose to take your shot on, take that foot and turn your toes inwards towards your other foot, probably at about 30-45 degrees.  This moves your leg in a way that forces that injection muscle to relax.  

Your injection site will be between the tail of your spine and the lower outer corner of your buttocks if you draw a line.  (I should really have drawn a picture for this one.)

Sterilize injection site and fingers (***and aspirate if desired) and inject.

(I’ve never had this particular injection done, but this is how my nurse taught me.)

***What is aspiration?  Do I have to aspirate before injecting? Aspiration is when you insert your needle and draw up (before injecting your testosterone).  This method is used to see whether or not you’re drawing up blood; if so, you would be injecting into a vein or artery.  This is a controversial topic as injecting testosterone into a vein can be very dangerous, but all of the nurses I’ve seen have expressed that this is not an issue with testosterone injections at my injection site.  Many people agree and disagree.  Still, if you’re concerned, attempt to draw fluid up before injecting your testosterone just to be sure.  I don’t aspirate now.  I may or may not aspirate in the future, who knows.  

Other injection locations...

There’s a lot of different opinions out there and methods as to where to inject.  I’ve done it a few different places myself.  I’m just going with what nurses have told me and what’s been best for me.  You do you.  (But please for the love of God I implore you do not inject in your inner thigh it is soft tissue all of your nerves and veins are there it hurts I hit a lymphatic vein once and that pain does not go away for like a week solid omg doooooooooon’t.)

Hope this helps!  I’ve been meaning to do a video or some illustrations, but I currently ain’t got no time for dat.  Maybe if I had a patreon, idk.  Oh well.  Enjoy your shots shots shots shots shots shots erryboday.

[rardjan]

Your privacy is violated on a daily basis

Are you also wonder sometimes if internet companies have a crystal bowl of some kind? It's weird how advertisers seem to know what you are looking for almost before you know yourself, right? Well not so much welcome to the world of cookies!

You might think: Hey, I always block the cookies-pop-up! Well too bad, even then you get tracked according to an investigation by the NOS News Network from the Netherlands. They researched 10.000 internet addresses of which 3237 placed tracking cookies without permission. More about cookies

Let's talk about so-called tracking cookies. These are a specialized type of cookie that can be shared by more than one website or service. They are commonly used for legitimate marketing and advertising purposes, but because they contain a history of the user’s actions on multiple sites, they may be exploited or misused to track the user’s behavior. (source: F-secure Labs) So we are being tracked without our permission, must be those evil Big Tech companies, right? One would expect, but although among the results are also hospitals, healthcare insurance companies and even schools. The Authority Personal Data, responsible for upholding privacy laws in the Netherlands, already announced further investigation into the violation of the laws.

Is this allowed? One of the main conclusions of the research is that many companies are skating on thin ice. Dubious disclaimers and explanations for the placed tracking cookies are the most common examples. It is very probable that the judge will have to decide what is and what isn’t against the law.

So should we just accept this and move on?

Well there is hope, so the answer is no. There are a lot of websites where you will still be tracked, but more and more companies and/or projects are taking a different approach. Take Solcial for example, a new Social Media platform in Cryptospace. Respecting the privacy of their users is one of their main fundamentals. They also don’t sell your personal data for advertising purposes like traditional Social Media companies. And that’s not all, they are also decentralized and give content creators total control over how they monetize their content. 100% of these earnings go to the creator and even users can earn in their model. So if you’re also fed up with companies tracking you and disrespecting your privacy, read into this project. I’ll bet you’ll be just as enthusiastic as I am! Check out https://Solcial.io to learn more about this amazing project!

How to get in Touch with Solcial: Twitter: https://twitter.com/solcialofficial Telegram: https://t.me/solcial Blog: https://blog.solcial.io/ Wiki: https://wiki.solcial.io/ Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/solcial/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/solcialofficial/ Web: https://solcial.io/Email: hello@solcial.io

Source of the research facts in this article:NOS, the Netherlands

[johnboothus]

Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer

In the heat of summer, an ice-cold beer can be an absolute lifesaver. But sometimes a cold beer is simply too cold — especially in the dead of winter, and even more so Central Europe. In this lager-loving and often icy region, cognoscenti have long relied upon a discreet device to bring their beers to the optimal temperature: a beer warmer.

Called a bierwärmer in German, or the slightly harder-to-pronounce ohříváček in Czech, a beer warmer is “a narrow metal tube with a hanger,” Aleš Dočkal, manager of the Prague beer bar Pivovarský Klub, says. “It has a lid, and this little thin container is filled with hot water, closed with the lid, and then hung in the glass. The hanger goes on the glass rim, ohříváček is dipped in the beer, and the consumer makes the beer warmer to [their] taste.”

If that sounds like something from another era, you’re not wrong: Dočkal notes that most of the customers who have asked for a beer warmer at his pub were generally older, and that the beer warmer’s use there has fallen off considerably in recent years.

However, curiosity around this obscure and seemingly counterintuitive device has recently resurfaced, with conversations on Reddit forums, Twitter, and elsewhere sparking interest among beer and history geeks.

Bierwärmer: History and Uses

A few short generations ago, just about every Czech pub would have a fleet of beer warmers arranged on a rack behind the bar, much like the racks of personal mugs that belong to the pub’s regulars.

“It was a popular Christmas present for fathers and grandfathers,” Dočkal says. “They took the ohříváček to the pub and it was left hanging on the wall. They not only got a beer in their favorite glass or mug, but they got it with their favorite beer warmer in it.”

Today, beer warmers are a rare sight even in the homeland of lager brewing — and almost completely unknown outside of it. (In fact, some craft lager brewers contacted for this story replied that they were unaware of the tool.)

Despite its relative obscurity, you can still order a beer warmer on Amazon, or chime in about its use on Reddit (one user recently received a “beer caramelizer” for Christmas).

In Rauchbier’s hometown of Bamberg, beer writer Markus Raupach says that the traditional beer warmer is rarely seen. It is more common, he says, for pubs to warm beers up with a Tauchsiedler, an electric device normally used for warming or boiling water.

“It is more or less a spool or coil made out of steel that heats up when plugged in a socket,” Raupach explains. In many pubs, a Tauchsiedler is kept at the ready, resting in a beer mug filled with water, unplugged. “If a customer wants a pre-warmed beer, they plug it in and put it into a fresh tapped Seidla beer mug for a certain time,” he says. “The [server] normally knows the right time for each customer.”

Changing (Beer) Temperatures

Even in tradition-minded Central Europe, people today drink beer much colder than they did a century or so ago.

“I have a textbook for future waiters and bartenders from the beginning of the 20th century. It has a chapter dedicated to the right beer temperatures, which is very interesting because the recommended temperatures for pale beers are 9 to 11 degrees Celsius [about 48 to 52 degrees Fahrenheit], and for dark beer, 11 to 13 degrees Celsius [about 52 to 55 degrees Fahrenheit],” Dočkal says. “And that was for the summertime. The textbook said these temperatures can go up by another 2 degrees in the winter.”

To put that into perspective, that would mean serving pilsner-style beers at least 10 degrees warmer than the North American preference of almost-ice-cold 38 degrees Fahrenheit; and up to 10 degrees warmer than Dočkal’s preferred serving temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit in winter.

Another reason for the beer warmer’s rarity is that pub-goers have more options for warmer beer today. “If they don’t like ‘too- cold’ beer, they can ask for a bottle from the crate in the cellar, instead of one from the refrigerator,” Dočkal says. “Or they ask for a glass that was rinsed in hot water. If that doesn’t work, you can just get a regular beer and let it stand.”

While beer warmers might be slowly dying out, you’ll still see Central Europeans asking for their beers to be warmed up on certain occasions. Dočkal says that people who have a cold or who have other health problems might not want to drink a beer that is super chilled. And for the aforementioned older folks, it’s a harkening back to the region’s more traditional serving temperatures.

Raupach recalls a special case involving some older customers in Germany. “I once met an elderly couple with a dog, I think it was at Mahr’s Bräu,” he says, referring to a traditional, family-run brewery in Bamber. “They ordered three beers, one of them warmed up with the Tauchsieder. When the beers arrived at the table, they put the warm beer into a bowl. It was for the dog.”

Should you find yourself hankering for a warm beer in Bavaria, keep your eyes peeled — and your barstool neighbor’s dog heeled.

The article Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/what-bierwarmer-guide/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/sip-a-warm-one-why-central-europeans-heat-their-beer-with-a-bierwarmer

[isaiahrippinus]

Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer

In the heat of summer, an ice-cold beer can be an absolute lifesaver. But sometimes a cold beer is simply too cold — especially in the dead of winter, and even more so Central Europe. In this lager-loving and often icy region, cognoscenti have long relied upon a discreet device to bring their beers to the optimal temperature: a beer warmer.

Called a bierwärmer in German, or the slightly harder-to-pronounce ohříváček in Czech, a beer warmer is “a narrow metal tube with a hanger,” Aleš Dočkal, manager of the Prague beer bar Pivovarský Klub, says. “It has a lid, and this little thin container is filled with hot water, closed with the lid, and then hung in the glass. The hanger goes on the glass rim, ohříváček is dipped in the beer, and the consumer makes the beer warmer to [their] taste.”

If that sounds like something from another era, you’re not wrong: Dočkal notes that most of the customers who have asked for a beer warmer at his pub were generally older, and that the beer warmer’s use there has fallen off considerably in recent years.

However, curiosity around this obscure and seemingly counterintuitive device has recently resurfaced, with conversations on Reddit forums, Twitter, and elsewhere sparking interest among beer and history geeks.

Bierwärmer: History and Uses

A few short generations ago, just about every Czech pub would have a fleet of beer warmers arranged on a rack behind the bar, much like the racks of personal mugs that belong to the pub’s regulars.

“It was a popular Christmas present for fathers and grandfathers,” Dočkal says. “They took the ohříváček to the pub and it was left hanging on the wall. They not only got a beer in their favorite glass or mug, but they got it with their favorite beer warmer in it.”

Today, beer warmers are a rare sight even in the homeland of lager brewing — and almost completely unknown outside of it. (In fact, some craft lager brewers contacted for this story replied that they were unaware of the tool.)

Despite its relative obscurity, you can still order a beer warmer on Amazon, or chime in about its use on Reddit (one user recently received a “beer caramelizer” for Christmas).

In Rauchbier’s hometown of Bamberg, beer writer Markus Raupach says that the traditional beer warmer is rarely seen. It is more common, he says, for pubs to warm beers up with a Tauchsiedler, an electric device normally used for warming or boiling water.

“It is more or less a spool or coil made out of steel that heats up when plugged in a socket,” Raupach explains. In many pubs, a Tauchsiedler is kept at the ready, resting in a beer mug filled with water, unplugged. “If a customer wants a pre-warmed beer, they plug it in and put it into a fresh tapped Seidla beer mug for a certain time,” he says. “The [server] normally knows the right time for each customer.”

Changing (Beer) Temperatures

Even in tradition-minded Central Europe, people today drink beer much colder than they did a century or so ago.

“I have a textbook for future waiters and bartenders from the beginning of the 20th century. It has a chapter dedicated to the right beer temperatures, which is very interesting because the recommended temperatures for pale beers are 9 to 11 degrees Celsius [about 48 to 52 degrees Fahrenheit], and for dark beer, 11 to 13 degrees Celsius [about 52 to 55 degrees Fahrenheit],” Dočkal says. “And that was for the summertime. The textbook said these temperatures can go up by another 2 degrees in the winter.”

To put that into perspective, that would mean serving pilsner-style beers at least 10 degrees warmer than the North American preference of almost-ice-cold 38 degrees Fahrenheit; and up to 10 degrees warmer than Dočkal’s preferred serving temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit in winter.

Another reason for the beer warmer’s rarity is that pub-goers have more options for warmer beer today. “If they don’t like ‘too- cold’ beer, they can ask for a bottle from the crate in the cellar, instead of one from the refrigerator,” Dočkal says. “Or they ask for a glass that was rinsed in hot water. If that doesn’t work, you can just get a regular beer and let it stand.”

While beer warmers might be slowly dying out, you’ll still see Central Europeans asking for their beers to be warmed up on certain occasions. Dočkal says that people who have a cold or who have other health problems might not want to drink a beer that is super chilled. And for the aforementioned older folks, it’s a harkening back to the region’s more traditional serving temperatures.

Raupach recalls a special case involving some older customers in Germany. “I once met an elderly couple with a dog, I think it was at Mahr’s Bräu,” he says, referring to a traditional, family-run brewery in Bamber. “They ordered three beers, one of them warmed up with the Tauchsieder. When the beers arrived at the table, they put the warm beer into a bowl. It was for the dog.”

Should you find yourself hankering for a warm beer in Bavaria, keep your eyes peeled — and your barstool neighbor’s dog heeled.

The article Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/what-bierwarmer-guide/ source https://vinology1.tumblr.com/post/190533579559

[delfinamaggiousa]

Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer

In the heat of summer, an ice-cold beer can be an absolute lifesaver. But sometimes a cold beer is simply too cold — especially in the dead of winter, and even more so Central Europe. In this lager-loving and often icy region, cognoscenti have long relied upon a discreet device to bring their beers to the optimal temperature: a beer warmer.

Called a bierwärmer in German, or the slightly harder-to-pronounce ohříváček in Czech, a beer warmer is “a narrow metal tube with a hanger,” Aleš Dočkal, manager of the Prague beer bar Pivovarský Klub, says. “It has a lid, and this little thin container is filled with hot water, closed with the lid, and then hung in the glass. The hanger goes on the glass rim, ohříváček is dipped in the beer, and the consumer makes the beer warmer to [their] taste.”

If that sounds like something from another era, you’re not wrong: Dočkal notes that most of the customers who have asked for a beer warmer at his pub were generally older, and that the beer warmer’s use there has fallen off considerably in recent years.

However, curiosity around this obscure and seemingly counterintuitive device has recently resurfaced, with conversations on Reddit forums, Twitter, and elsewhere sparking interest among beer and history geeks.

Bierwärmer: History and Uses

A few short generations ago, just about every Czech pub would have a fleet of beer warmers arranged on a rack behind the bar, much like the racks of personal mugs that belong to the pub’s regulars.

“It was a popular Christmas present for fathers and grandfathers,” Dočkal says. “They took the ohříváček to the pub and it was left hanging on the wall. They not only got a beer in their favorite glass or mug, but they got it with their favorite beer warmer in it.”

Today, beer warmers are a rare sight even in the homeland of lager brewing — and almost completely unknown outside of it. (In fact, some craft lager brewers contacted for this story replied that they were unaware of the tool.)

Despite its relative obscurity, you can still order a beer warmer on Amazon, or chime in about its use on Reddit (one user recently received a “beer caramelizer” for Christmas).

In Rauchbier’s hometown of Bamberg, beer writer Markus Raupach says that the traditional beer warmer is rarely seen. It is more common, he says, for pubs to warm beers up with a Tauchsiedler, an electric device normally used for warming or boiling water.

“It is more or less a spool or coil made out of steel that heats up when plugged in a socket,” Raupach explains. In many pubs, a Tauchsiedler is kept at the ready, resting in a beer mug filled with water, unplugged. “If a customer wants a pre-warmed beer, they plug it in and put it into a fresh tapped Seidla beer mug for a certain time,” he says. “The [server] normally knows the right time for each customer.”

Changing (Beer) Temperatures

Even in tradition-minded Central Europe, people today drink beer much colder than they did a century or so ago.

“I have a textbook for future waiters and bartenders from the beginning of the 20th century. It has a chapter dedicated to the right beer temperatures, which is very interesting because the recommended temperatures for pale beers are 9 to 11 degrees Celsius [about 48 to 52 degrees Fahrenheit], and for dark beer, 11 to 13 degrees Celsius [about 52 to 55 degrees Fahrenheit],” Dočkal says. “And that was for the summertime. The textbook said these temperatures can go up by another 2 degrees in the winter.”

To put that into perspective, that would mean serving pilsner-style beers at least 10 degrees warmer than the North American preference of almost-ice-cold 38 degrees Fahrenheit; and up to 10 degrees warmer than Dočkal’s preferred serving temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit in winter.

Another reason for the beer warmer’s rarity is that pub-goers have more options for warmer beer today. “If they don’t like ‘too- cold’ beer, they can ask for a bottle from the crate in the cellar, instead of one from the refrigerator,” Dočkal says. “Or they ask for a glass that was rinsed in hot water. If that doesn’t work, you can just get a regular beer and let it stand.”

While beer warmers might be slowly dying out, you’ll still see Central Europeans asking for their beers to be warmed up on certain occasions. Dočkal says that people who have a cold or who have other health problems might not want to drink a beer that is super chilled. And for the aforementioned older folks, it’s a harkening back to the region’s more traditional serving temperatures.

Raupach recalls a special case involving some older customers in Germany. “I once met an elderly couple with a dog, I think it was at Mahr’s Bräu,” he says, referring to a traditional, family-run brewery in Bamber. “They ordered three beers, one of them warmed up with the Tauchsieder. When the beers arrived at the table, they put the warm beer into a bowl. It was for the dog.”

Should you find yourself hankering for a warm beer in Bavaria, keep your eyes peeled — and your barstool neighbor’s dog heeled.

The article Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/what-bierwarmer-guide/

source https://vinology1.wordpress.com/2020/01/29/sip-a-warm-one-why-central-europeans-heat-their-beer-with-a-bierwarmer/

[wineanddinosaur]

Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer

In the heat of summer, an ice-cold beer can be an absolute lifesaver. But sometimes a cold beer is simply too cold — especially in the dead of winter, and even more so Central Europe. In this lager-loving and often icy region, cognoscenti have long relied upon a discreet device to bring their beers to the optimal temperature: a beer warmer.

Called a bierwärmer in German, or the slightly harder-to-pronounce ohříváček in Czech, a beer warmer is “a narrow metal tube with a hanger,” Aleš Dočkal, manager of the Prague beer bar Pivovarský Klub, says. “It has a lid, and this little thin container is filled with hot water, closed with the lid, and then hung in the glass. The hanger goes on the glass rim, ohříváček is dipped in the beer, and the consumer makes the beer warmer to [their] taste.”

If that sounds like something from another era, you’re not wrong: Dočkal notes that most of the customers who have asked for a beer warmer at his pub were generally older, and that the beer warmer’s use there has fallen off considerably in recent years.

However, curiosity around this obscure and seemingly counterintuitive device has recently resurfaced, with conversations on Reddit forums, Twitter, and elsewhere sparking interest among beer and history geeks.

Bierwärmer: History and Uses

A few short generations ago, just about every Czech pub would have a fleet of beer warmers arranged on a rack behind the bar, much like the racks of personal mugs that belong to the pub’s regulars.

“It was a popular Christmas present for fathers and grandfathers,” Dočkal says. “They took the ohříváček to the pub and it was left hanging on the wall. They not only got a beer in their favorite glass or mug, but they got it with their favorite beer warmer in it.”

Today, beer warmers are a rare sight even in the homeland of lager brewing — and almost completely unknown outside of it. (In fact, some craft lager brewers contacted for this story replied that they were unaware of the tool.)

Despite its relative obscurity, you can still order a beer warmer on Amazon, or chime in about its use on Reddit (one user recently received a “beer caramelizer” for Christmas).

In Rauchbier’s hometown of Bamberg, beer writer Markus Raupach says that the traditional beer warmer is rarely seen. It is more common, he says, for pubs to warm beers up with a Tauchsiedler, an electric device normally used for warming or boiling water.

“It is more or less a spool or coil made out of steel that heats up when plugged in a socket,” Raupach explains. In many pubs, a Tauchsiedler is kept at the ready, resting in a beer mug filled with water, unplugged. “If a customer wants a pre-warmed beer, they plug it in and put it into a fresh tapped Seidla beer mug for a certain time,” he says. “The [server] normally knows the right time for each customer.”

Changing (Beer) Temperatures

Even in tradition-minded Central Europe, people today drink beer much colder than they did a century or so ago.

“I have a textbook for future waiters and bartenders from the beginning of the 20th century. It has a chapter dedicated to the right beer temperatures, which is very interesting because the recommended temperatures for pale beers are 9 to 11 degrees Celsius [about 48 to 52 degrees Fahrenheit], and for dark beer, 11 to 13 degrees Celsius [about 52 to 55 degrees Fahrenheit],” Dočkal says. “And that was for the summertime. The textbook said these temperatures can go up by another 2 degrees in the winter.”

To put that into perspective, that would mean serving pilsner-style beers at least 10 degrees warmer than the North American preference of almost-ice-cold 38 degrees Fahrenheit; and up to 10 degrees warmer than Dočkal’s preferred serving temperature of 45 degrees Fahrenheit in winter.

Another reason for the beer warmer’s rarity is that pub-goers have more options for warmer beer today. “If they don’t like ‘too- cold’ beer, they can ask for a bottle from the crate in the cellar, instead of one from the refrigerator,” Dočkal says. “Or they ask for a glass that was rinsed in hot water. If that doesn’t work, you can just get a regular beer and let it stand.”

While beer warmers might be slowly dying out, you’ll still see Central Europeans asking for their beers to be warmed up on certain occasions. Dočkal says that people who have a cold or who have other health problems might not want to drink a beer that is super chilled. And for the aforementioned older folks, it’s a harkening back to the region’s more traditional serving temperatures.

Raupach recalls a special case involving some older customers in Germany. “I once met an elderly couple with a dog, I think it was at Mahr’s Bräu,” he says, referring to a traditional, family-run brewery in Bamber. “They ordered three beers, one of them warmed up with the Tauchsieder. When the beers arrived at the table, they put the warm beer into a bowl. It was for the dog.”

Should you find yourself hankering for a warm beer in Bavaria, keep your eyes peeled — and your barstool neighbor’s dog heeled.

The article Sip a Warm One: Why Central Europeans Heat Their Beer With a Bierwärmer appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/what-bierwarmer-guide/