#reason that i never got around to trying the cheaper one and now im not insured by them anymore cos i quit that job and had a cobra hiccup

[toytulini]

Insurance in the US is *required* to cover all types of birth control including surgical (eg tubal ligation) *for now.* Absolutely try to get it and get the procedure done ASAP

https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage/birth-control-benefits/

thank u. i do need to sign up for that.

[inkyquince]

YOU MAKE ME WEEP 😭 I MISS YOU AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ON. can't wait for the semester to wrap up. but i did get a job for the summer hahaha!!

i'm trying to get pregnant by kylar or eden. so far i have FAILED.

honestly, i must ask how you would think wren would be as a parent. would love to hear any thoughts on that!!!

THIS GOT BURIED, IM SO SORRY!!

DW, we know how Eden and Kylar are. Non stop fuck nasty machines.

Okay, for Wren as a dad, it... Depends?

Like, does he like you as a fuck buddy or does he... Like you, like you? Like Like... Like Love Like?

Cuz if its the first one, I think the best you get is that he's going to be not present at all. Like he sends money, he's going to show up some days to absolutely dazzle your kid with a horse ride and presents and shit, and then won't come and visit for another 8 months. He's flighty as fuck, he's busy. Your kid will have his beautiful hair, maybe his soft brown eyes. Maybe your kid will always love him because he's the cool fun dad who spoils them when he does come around. Maybe they get disenchanted by him by the time they hit their teens. He doesn't pick up when they call, he doesn't come to important events. Maybe one day he comes by with a couple of presents and they flatly turn down going out for a day with him. You might get to watch his face fall a bit. Maybe just his eyes just get a bit duller.

Your kid goes off to hang out with friends and you and Wren get to have a drink together for the first time in ages, since his attention is normally on your kid, never you. He's down. Says he wants to do better. But you know him by now. So you just offer a pat on the back, and wonder if this is the last time you'll see him again, since he's finally been turned away by his kid, and has no reason to come back anymore.

NOW, if you're someone he actually fucking likes?

My god. Wants his annoying input in everything you do. Choosing a flat? "Sunshine, babycakes, darling, its cheaper to get a lil cottage out on the farmlands, and then I can come by every night after work and-" Deciding on a crib? "Sweetheart, muffin, angel face, let me see if i can get it handmade, never should trust the plastic shit, fuck, I slept in the top drawer for the first 3 months of my life, baby-" Like its cute, but shut up babe.

He's going to be in your damn life. Even if you say he can take a backseat, he's fucking taking that backseat out, taking out the gear stick and putting his seat there. Fuck you.

Somehow got into your phone to get a copy of important upcoming dates, and he skids into the ultrasound, all sweaty, just as you're getting your gown on.

He's going to be your fucking best friend in this. That's Wren as a lover, boyfriend, partner, it's as a best friend who really wants to get into your pants and deigns to bombard you with sloppy kisses just because he knows it makes you swat at him.

He would sometimes not show up days in a row, but it's never months. Just a few days, and he comes back with an oversized plush under his arm, or a stupidly big cake or something.

He loves that kid man. He's always gonna love his kid, but they aren't an afterthought anymore. He wants 50 more hours in the day, so he doesn't have to choose between work and his home.

Wren's also fucking terrified. He knows the town he lives in, its why he wanted you in the farmlands, not in town. Will beg you to consider homeschooling. In his perfect world, his kid never steps foot in town, and gets to grow up with nature, and feeling safe. Doesn't matter what age, he wants to be old as fuck, and have his 40 year old kid still at home and training horses or something.

Wren, overall, as a parent would love his kid. But his relationship with you would decide how much he wants to actually be there.

[sugary-spider]

Whats ur take on wambus.... I need more

..I don't have a lot of takes, but wambus I love him so much. A lot of never ask me for my takes on here../silly

WARNING : AXEL FUCKING RANTS A TON

I hate how hes mainly seen as this evil angry guy or just grumpy (mad yk) and its like..Yuck..A lot of people just would rather only view triffany as this saint and wambus is this evil bad guy. Sure hes mad lookin but like..Thats like saying filbo is dumb when he isn't, sure hes an sweet hyperactive guy thats prone to accidents but he isn't dumb. Thats an grown fucking man y'all.

I loved how he missed triffany so fucking much, he made an cactus literally look like her and as well as would basically (even from the one or two moments we seen it in gameplay) tell cactriffy about his day. And Y'ALL. Cactriffy is literally just cactus + triffy,, which is the nickname he gave to triffany!! And at best, you can just see how much he loves triffany from that and so much more.

Triffany work requires her to be away a lot, which is understandable but her and wambus literally had an farm together and wambuses whole issue was property and money. Farms are extremely hard to take care of, especially even with just two people. Wambus is an stubborn guy, and he loves his wife. He probably took care of that farm all by himself while triffany was away. I understand if y'all don't understand how farm and ranches are, but they're just..So hard to take care of. Especially with how utilities and so much more costs.

(this is coming from someone who just knows someone an good few ppl who like..literally grew up on an farm 60/40% of their lives this just me blabberin about that yk so my bad if I don't get the whole picture right. But like..Farms/ranches are so HARD to take care of unless you know what to do and such!! Like farms cost around 600 - 10000+)

So just imagine with how that feels, especially with how we know wambus is so okay with triffany going off on her own dreams while he was kinda struggling with his. He started an farm on the island because it was "more cheaper on mainland" and hes right, even if everyone was kinda shitting on him about it. But thats like his dream, and so much more. I like to even think wambus came from an huge or generational line of farmers, ranchers, just country-side work basically. Which would also make so much more sense in an way to understand how Wambus would understand heavily and support his wife on her journey and job of being an archeologist while also trying to find out what happend to her mom. Im not gonna shit on triffany either, but like. You gotta understand how wambus feels, he probably (and I think he did!! Pretty sure he did) lost the farm. And like I said, I like to think the farm was an family farm that was past down onto him. And he lost it.

I know triffany would try to console her husband, but she also now had to be this bread winner because of wambus losing this huge money maker but then just also caving underneath it due to all these taxes and so much more, that the list is just too much. Plus they're both workaholics so she probably never stayed long to console him or help him, only when she had to stay in an way she would or try to.

"Hes such an violent and angry guy! Triffany should leave him, hes so mean and-" Are we talking about the same guy? Cause NO WE ARE NOT?? He most likely has emotional dysregulation which is caused by stress!! And he just WENT through an stressful time period of his life!! (Stole this hc from an lovely bro ham of mine -> @loched-off 💪😼)

Also fear of failure. That can and is implied to be most reasons WHYYY he lashes out and hes always regretful of his actions by the way. Like when filbo got launched by an bunger due to his causing by throwing sauce at him,, and he was literally so regretful of it. Even asked the journalist to PLEASE check up on poor filbo.

Not to mention, probably due to his failure fears present and past, is kinda why people can see how triffany and wambus dynamic is 50/50 of great and needs some work.

But even then, triffany doesn't mean it. Shes looking out for wambus best interests, especially with how she knows wambus hates failure and hates failing so badly. Especially with how.hes gonna lash out, and view it as anything more than bugsnax not growing. He just lost his farm, something he worked so hard on. And now hes losing his little thesis of bugsnax growing..

And he did. He was so heart broken, and his voice you can just TELL this mans heart shattered into billions of peaces. Even if he has an not so hyperactive and has monotone tone in his voice, you can just..Still tell hes heart broken. He started giving up on HIMSELF, and hes STUBBORN Y'ALL.

DO YOU KNOW. HOW HARD,, AN STUBBORN PERSON HAS TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM TO BE LIKE..

"My hopes and all my work, was all for nothing. Im just an big ole failure."

Y'ALL. THIS MAN HAD ME CRYING AND NEEDING TO TAKE FIVE (You can tell im like..maybe more a wamby fan than a triffy one..I lobe blue hair and prns farmers....)

I like to think he also was made fun of for his feelings back then. Especially cause of like..Of grumpus world is like our world, him as an man would've been definitely made fun of for crying. Especially if this is..Something so heavy and meaningful to him,, he was definitely sobbing and pouring his heart out but only to be made fun of. Or had his problems seen as something so little..

And triffany *may* had accidentally had some help in it in an way, since she worked so much due to being an workalcoholic and its her passion. She loves archeology and wambus could never ever in an million years deny his wife of her happiness like she could never deny wambus his. Even though, that ended up with them fighting. Especially wambus putting his foot down on not wanting to be somewhere he can't grow plants other than cacti. Especially if he was so hyperfocused on sauce plants, and only ones that grow there are hot sauce or cheese,, but we seen wambus grow an wide variety. He wouldn't really wanna just only ever be able to grow two types of sauce plants.

Also just supperr self indulgent,, I like to think he has one or two actual degrees in some sort of botany or farm work..Plus hess ermm Audhd cause I said so. Sorry NOT sorry. <3

Also, I have an BUNCH. Of wambus hcs :3

-> Wambus is hispanic,, (You can pick whatever one, just I like mexican wambus a lot..)

-> Knows spanish, especially cause he lived in an heavy spanish speaking area.

-> Always worked on an farm/countryside, he loves talking about his childhood. You can tell by how much he smiles when talking about it

-> An shy kid in public due to his family always wanting him to speak english heavily in school, but was an rowdy kid that would say curses in spanish

-> He LOVES dogs and cats. He had an hunting dog when he was little, also talks about that dog a lot. Her name was brownie .. Had an barn cat or two, both were name Charolette and Scarlett.. :3

-> Was held back an grade or two, only because of how he worked more than was in school. But he isn't dumb, hes slicker than a fox.

-> he is TEXAN. Take it or leave it /silly

-> Hes an introvert extrovert heavily. Just due to people getting off putted by his natural 'bitch face' a lot of people don't talk to him.

-> Knows a lot about death, especially since he lived on an farm. One of his jobs he would've been fine with is an flower guy for funerals.

-> He *has* an childhood gothic friend. They talk alottt.. (is this based an oc x canon dynamic from me and my partners au?..Maybe..You'll never know sorry not sorry)

-> Due to the two other hcs,, its also how triffany was drawn to him heavily. Just..so heavily, cause he never overreacted to her funfacts and really really gruesome and horrifically details facts other than asking more about it. Cause he genuinely wanted to know.

-> I will NEVER. Give up my most famous hc of wambus being an girl dad.

-> Hes also really good with kids surprisingly. Even though his back would be hurting so much, he will teach kids how to climb trees safely or not, and go on and on about his own childhood stories. Once taught/told an kid about the time he ran away from bees. Spent the day helping the lil' kiddo try to find an bee hive before an accident happend and they both ended up stung badly.

-> He loves summer and spring..Especially spring, he gets so giddy about it.

-> Youngest. He is the baby of his family, was always picked on but is now the strongest between them. Gets called little blue or baby ox tho. They make fun of him but hes gotten used to it..💔

Thats it..Just I LOVEEE wambus. Ty for asking my opinion on him..Hes my favorite and I genuinely wish people loved him just as much as people loved triffany..

[unexpectedbrickattack]

Compiling some Peppino-centric hcs i have bc i would like to have something to look back on as a point of reference 😌 (this is so long. SO fucking long. Im sorry)

- starting w the basics: hes a short king; 5’2 (157cm). Hes like late 40s-early 50s to me. Hes got brown eyes i never draw bc i like drawing him w dots lol. Hes particular about his appearance and grooms very consistently. Has literally no issues w balding (exposed to balding bears in his youth; thinks they are hot now 😌) and it helps that he can literally cave someones skull in if they speak ill of him. He does have a couple of comfy hats incase his hair decides to be unruly in bad weather.

- very bulky build; think of olympic strongmen/ highland games but short. Visibly muscular arms and broad shoulder, fat chest and stomach, smoother legs (fat layered over muscle; v thick thighs and calves). Hes got surgery scars on his lower back from a bullet wound (only entry/no exit point). Debated giving him a scar around his sternum from heart surgery or some other crazy injury he had but im not sure yet; the bullet extraction scar is definitely staying tho.

-does NOT work out; he used to wrestle in his late teens/early 20s but otherwise he was (still is) a man who did lots of physical labor around his childhood home and grandparents shop. Continued the cycle when he got his own home and his own restaurant; cheaper to do his own (extensive) repairs than call for specialists/contractors when u are Fucking Poor.

- he DOES exercise; he is fond of jogging. He does this alot postgame, usually in the early mornings before he opens, and at the beach on his days off. He had it drilled in v early in his life that he Needs to stay active, so he will roll out of bed and do this almost daily. On his days off he will have random people come and join him; usually pepperman or noisette. Its too tedious/boring of a task for gus and noise, and vigi is out cold until sunrise at minimum.

- he owns a HOUSE; he does not rent an apartment. This is bc i think it would be reasonable to assume that anyone who OWNS a restaurant was at some point, well off enough to own a house instead of renting. And i like the idea of him using this house as collateral; if the shop goes under, so does his home (more stress for him…). (Ive seen other people treat his shop like a duplex ie shop on the lobby level and an apartment/living space on the second floor. This is ALSO v good and coincides w my want to have his home tied to his restaurant)

- the house is small; two bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, and a basement (where the 1/2 bath is located). BIG kitchen, small livingroom. It is surprisingly well furnished bc of his family donating things to him when he bought the house in his 30s. Lots of older wood based furniture. Hes not grossly messy (like food, bugs, etc) but he is disorganized beyond belief. Lives an ‘organized mess’ lifestyle bc of his high stress. Also extremely apathetic to his living conditions until postgame when his restaurant starts to take in profits again; less stress -> more positive time at home -> aware of the clutter as he spends more time at home.

- drives a beat up lookin car to and from work. Its his BABY; his ol reliable. He has to do lots of work to keep her intact and functioning. Eventually gets a newer car with his profits, but its rlly to help ease the strain on her so that he can take her out for drives occasionally.

-eldest of like 6 siblings; will not try to name them all just know that hes the only boy. Eldest daughter is only a year younger than him. Good relationship w all of them and his immediate family. Very matriarchal immediate family. Only a handful of uncles, his dad, and his grandpappy. Stubbornly cut off contact w everyone after the horrors (war) and refused to accept help w his failing restaurant (prideful). Eventually his (eldest) sister reaches out and he makes amends one at a time. (Gets an earful from his momma)

- works LONG hours. Awake by 4am, in noisettes cafe by 5am, in the shop by 6am. Preps and calls until opening at 9am. Closes at 9pm. Closes up FOR REAL at 10pm. Rinse n repeat. As the shop does better financially, he starts opening later and closing earlier (at the insistence of Gus). He still does his walks and his morning routine, just a little later, and he has enough time at home in the evening to cook for himself.

- on the topic of cooking, he is a good chef all around; pizza is just easier to market and consistently do Correct. Likes food alot. So much…..he isnt picky but he does go 😬 when eating something. Bad. And it happens Often.

- stress baked often. He felt bad about throwing out his food afterwards so he would give it away to his neighbors. No longer stress bakes but he will cook out of boredom which is not as bad but still not the best 😭 luckily he has so many freeloaders that will eat anything he makes (gus and noise)

- this is his second shop; the first one was in a larger city (think similar to pig city). Closed down due to insufficient payments, but reopened on the outskirts of the city (close to the forest) after putting up his house as collateral.

-first shop is where he first meets pizzahead. Hes offered a generous sum of cash to sell the business (which would then be converted into a ph brand shop). Obv declined. Later offered a position in pizzaheads business instead; nearly killed the man when scaring him out of his shop.

- Peppino is NOT some aggressive out of control beast (despite what pizzahead believes). He is vaguely neurotic and it is exacerbated by extreme stress and bouts of anxiety. So funny how removing the extreme stress and sources of anxiety makes him more Normal. (Somewhat encouraged by an official image i saw after i made this hc of peppinos attitude outside and inside the tower. He is relatively apathetic and inside the tower he is borderline manic. More hcs about that too)

- he is relatively fun to be with otherwise. He has some extremely dry humor. Hes incredibly sarcastic. He LIKES customer service…otherwise this would be impossible for him to endure. It helps that he Owns a shop, instead of only being a worker; he can yell at people who are rude and annoying to him and he knows (at least postgame) that he has loyal regulars.

- he is a bit of an asshole; he make snide remarks he shouldnt and hes been in his own fair share of fights bc of it. Has mellowed out drastically as he got a better grip on his emotions postgame. Only the most tolerant could really deal w him prior to postgame (gus) in part due to his anger (response to exacerbated neurosis and ptsd)

- also autistic. Extra stress bc of this. Easily overstimulated and the response to this is anger. Completely undiagnosed lmao but hes like late 40s; he just learned how to deal with it.

-common stress responses: bites on anything, usually his hand (Tried stopping this bc people would TOUCH him if he did that in front of others and that just made shit worse). Grinds his teeth. Jaw clenching. Making A Fist So Tight You Accidentally Cut Urself. Flappy hands, usually w hands balled up into a fist (specifically eyes closed; jaw clenched; head ducked, flappy hands over his ducked head). It looks ‘worse’ than biting but at least the excessive movement deters people from touching him.

- on a more positive note; knows quite a bit of magic tricks. Sleight of hand stuff is his forte. It is good for the anxiety and it keeps his hands busy. He is will consistently say that he is not good w kids but he loves entertaining them; they say the funniest shit and he likes being a bad influence on them 😈. Also teaching them tricks and letting them see behind the curtain is so fun for him; like they are so excited about silly tricks and it makes him feel a little cool….

- he is the kind of person whos like (dad voice) ‘not gettin a damn cat in my house’ and then has blackmail of him passed the fuck out with a cat on his stomach. He feeds the local strays by his shop and he cant help but feed the strays that end up by his house. He doesnt feel confident enough to take care of another animal when its so hard for him to remember to take care of himself so for now he just feeds them. But maybe soon he will take them inside…he also baby talks cats but if u caught him doing that he would kill u i think. (Pov u are the noise)

- silly hc that he has a real last name but he keeps it as spaghetti bc its funny to fuck around w people who ask him. No i dont know what his last name would be but i think it would be funny to have him ‘change’ it for branding and have people believe it. Also i think its funny to think of peppino saying this to ph somehow and he completely runs with it as gospel. Like ‘granny did u KNOW his last name is fucking spaghetti??’

- wrt young peppino, i say that w him being 20-23 in mind. Worked in his grandparents shop during this time. Worked as a line cook for some other restaurants as well (and saved up money to buy his own home while he lived w his parents and sisters). He was generally a sweetheart, just a bit odd (the Autsim and Anxiety), but that was (and still is) his charm point lol

- (SUGGESTIVE) cannot stop thinking of him as a little otter that hung out w older bears in the leather scene. He prob had his best years w them before he had to focus on other shit. He still keeps in contact w some of the peeps that were around his age postgame, and they meet up sometimes to hang along w vigilante. Now that hes older it is a bit surreal to now be the bear he used to look up to in his younger years. But its a bit flattering. Noise and Pepperman are younger than him and they both regard him w the same kind of wonder he used to give older bears. He thinks its cute lol (pepperman bc thats his muse and he sees his body type as PEAK human form, and noise bc i hc him as a bit sheltered despite the fame)

- (STILL SUGGESTIVE BUT THATS IT I SWEAR) adjacent to this; its weird for him to come back to this side of him bc hes been living in survival mode for over a decade. Got his house in his early 30s -> WAR -> comes back traumatized -> leaves family to cope -> dumps money into a restaurant to cope w leaving family. So he kinda missed it alot. Its fun to explore it w gus heehee and sometimes noise when he behaves.

-other things i wanted to mention but didnt know where to fit it. Peppino is a decent artist; he drew the logo for his shop and in general he is good at caricatures (another thing he can do to entertain a crowd; helps w anxiety to know how to not be awkward).

- Peppino is a bit of a mechanic (aka he learned bc he was broke and didnt want to call them for minor problems). Hes not a tinkerer but he likes the joy of creating sm and will make little. Creations. every once in a while. One of these creations is Peshino! He is a wooden windup toy made as a prototype for a more mechanical, mass produced version. He was intended to be sold as a cute little toy to help cement the branding for Peppinos shop but he never got the time or money for it, so peshino is collecting a bit of dust in his basement. Postgame, he takes peshino out and cleans him up; he feels a bit guilty about him….and the Big Peshino found in the tower plays music in Peppinos shop :) He also takes the time to clean him up and keep him functional.

Okay i think thats all i got for now byebye

[attyrocious]

heyyy I'm new to digital art, would you mind sharing some tips regarding programs and tutorials and etc? also on how to turn a real life piece into a beautiful and clean digital piece... really love your art

oh good luck with your art journey! my experience with digital art is pretty dated (as in a decade + levels dated) and i might be too out of touch to give beginner tips but regardless, allow me to attempt

Programs: it would help to know which hardware you have for digital but ill put down some i have experience in 1. Clip Studio Paint Pro - PC/Android/ipad/everywhere i think? unfortunately they betrayed humankind and its now a subscription everywhere but on PC. i bought a one-time license years years years ago on sale and its probably the best available on my end. I also got it on subscription on android so i can sync works between my PC and tablet. its very flexible in a way that you can draw with it in the most basic way single layer sketches or whatever but they have so many features and keep adding more.

2. procreate - ipad only never been an apple user but my friend is, and he's been a procreate user forever. he recently tried CSP on ipad though and he still claims he likes procreate better for ease of use and compatibility with tablet ergonomics and apple pen

3. medibang paint - pc/android/ipad

free forever. and out of all the free programs i recommended my other digital art newbie friend this is what he liked best.

4. adobe photoshop - dont even look at this the only reason i have one is im leeching off company license. its still unfortunately the industry standard tho but CSP is much cheaper and has the same controls and most of the basic functions 5. Paint Tool SAI - my first art program but i haven't tried it again. honestly still think this has the best brush flexibility and pen pressure control ----- As for tutorials, i find digital art has such a steep and high skill ceiling and its a challenge im still tackling and probably will forever tackle haha. I'm trying to osmosis painting techniques from splash art painters from League of Legends who most of them post complete timelapses (my favorite being Bo Chen) where you can study not just their techniques but like, art directions that make their pieces striking. Anyway, I also promised a friend I would make a simple coloring tutorial so maybe after inktober hustle, I would look for a piece there I'd use for the guide.

---- Traditional to digital is never a satisfactory process to me but if you can, invest on a scanner. I use an epson v39, had it for years.

scanned vs edited. the goal is to at least get the white of the paper as white as possible and the blacks the blackest, without whitewashing/burning the rest of the colors. Level correction function is your best friend here and most art programs have that.

Then i just clean dust and errors and slide the contrasts around until it looks as close to the original piece

If you have a decent phone camera, you can get away just posting instagram aesthetic pics with materials framing it or smth and just edit as usual. natural light tends to be a lot more forgiving than the harsh light of scanners anyway.

Anyway I hope this helps and have fun learning!

[the-kipsabian]

im just gonna complain idk

but like. i applied for payment helps last week. i got a message back today that apparently between receiving my application and working on it to make decisions, some law changes happened and now they are enforcing the preset cost of living limit harder than before when applying for these things before they make decisions on whether or not you qualify for this kind of help or not

this thing is already incredibly difficult to apply for properly and to get in sums that actually help much of anything. previously if your living costs were above the limit, they just shrugged it off depending on the sum and just deducted that from the amount they paid to you. this has never been an issue for me before, ive been applying for this every few months while being unemployed for years

with this new change, however. my living costs are 27.65 euros above the limit. twenty. fucking. seven. and they are making an issue out of that. and by making an issue out of it, it not only delays them making decisions on my application (and me getting money which at this point and around this time of year is not only fucking irritating but also affects like everything else going on rn), but with the new law it apparently comes with a requirement for me to either offer reasoning why im living in an apartment "above my affordable living costs" OR they are gonna cut my benefits and force me to look for a cheaper apartment for a few months until i can prove its impossible (this is literally one of the cheapest one bedroom apartments in this entire city. what in the fuck. we looked around with friends this morning when i broke the news and the only places that are under the 498€ cost limit this city has for some fucking reason are in places that no unemployed carless person - that i am - will be able to live in. but nooooo i have to keep looking)

im just. this whole thing makes no sense. its so fucking stressful. they keep the preset limit the same throughout the years but dont count in the fact that not only are small, cheap apartments more and more difficult to find every fucking year, but that the actual cost of living and rent and shit keeps going up all the time. im literally only applying for this payment help cause im out of everything else. the rent is not the fucking issue here, its literally everything else. me having to suddenly try to find a new apartment and move (which, ofc, they wouldnt help me with at all. cause obviously) is not going to fucking help, cause all they are gonna do with that is cut my pre-existing rent help to match that rent price and im still out of fucking money

im stressed out, im exhausted, i woke up to this fucking mess after barely sleeping for a few hours, im in both mental and physical pain rn and im just. im so ready to give up if they dont accept my explanation on how i need this place and these payments in full cause theres literally no other feasible options in this city for me without it making me physically and socially separated from everything and everyone which will be disastrous for my mental and physical wellbeing. im so fucking tired

merry christmas to me or whatever i have never wanted to kill myself more than i do right now sorry

[hugheshugs]

chai chats | b. boeser

summary: you meet brock at a coffee shop and want to become his friend.

pairing: grumpy!brock x chatterbox!reader

word count: 2.1k

note: i kinda love this one ijwnekssk, maybe i should make it an au?? lmk, hope u enjoy <3

taglist: @heatabovejakey @boeswhore @calemakarjuice @pandas-daisy @rainysuitcaseprunegiant @1-800-iluvhockey @bbrissonn @drei-mrssvechii @idfan21 @thescooby-gang @owenpowersglasses @owenpowerstapejob @this-is-ally-and-im-confused // join my taglist here :)

you were never one to go to coffee shops. the obvious reason being, you didn't like coffee and you knew you could make tea at home for much cheaper. when you found yourself standing inside a cozy coffee shop around the corner of your apartment building, you couldn't help but wonder what was going on.

frankly, you believed it had something to do with the universe sending something your way. that was in parts true, but rather than something colliding with your bursting rays of sunshine, it was someone.

okay, so he didn't actually collide with you. you saw him sitting by himself in the corner of the room but that didn't matter. you made your way up to him and you know he acknowledged your prescence but he paid no mind to you until you very loudly cleared your throat.

he looked up at you with a bored expression, clearly finding whatever he was looking at on his phone more interesting.

"do you like sharks— i mean, can i sit here?" you fumbled, the words coming out of your mouth before you could process them.

he shrugged and you took that as a, sure, sit here and annoy the shit out of me, so you decided to do exactly that. his eyes focused back on the device in his hand, to which you internally wondered how he could find a screen more interesting than a literal person.

"i noticed you like wearing shorts over tights. interesting combination."

he let out a small sigh, still not giving you the time of day. as if he were a dark figure in a mist of fog, his brooding self interested you more than scared you away. in fact, you became determined to get something out of him.

"what's your name?"

nothing.

you pursed your lips, looking around for any sign of common interest between you two. he had a small sticker of two dogs stuck on his phone case but you're scared of dogs. the grey hoodie he wore reminded you of the stormy clouds you saw earlier but that didn't tell you if he liked cloud watching like you did.

oh, but what about the logo on his hoodie? you didn't recognize it. there was practically nothing about him that stuck out because he was so.. simple. his gloomy personality seemed to reflect onto every aspect of his life but then again, you only came to this conclusion based on the fact that there was nothing on him or his belongings that told you a single fact about him.

it was when your gaze trickled downwards once more that you had an aha! moment, cheering internally as you finally caught sight of the string of a tea bag hanging out of his cup and being strangled by the lid.

"you like tea!" you perked up, trying not to frown when he made no effort to pay attention to you.

his hand rested loosely on the side of the cup and you thought about what would happen if you stole his drink from him but decided against it. obviously you would have given it back but it seemed a bit bold for a first meeting, even for you.

"i like tea— no, actually i love tea. when i was younger, my grandma used to make me orange pekoe and it was my favourite growing up. it still is, it's really the best tea in the entire world," you continued rambling, not even realizing at what point of your speech he decided to pay attention.

"but then, my mom got this fancy tea kit thingy a couple years ago and i fell absolutely in love with earl grey. like, it's my life now. i don't know if you've had it but it's the best ever, but i just said that about orange pekoe so i guess you shouldn't really take my word for it— well, no, you should take my word for it but i just mean that—"

"where are you going with this?"

you started to choke. your breath got caught in your throat and you began coughing. you tried hiding it, you know, when you drink water and it goes down the wrong pipe but you don't want to be too loud so you let your eyes tear up and turn red while you're in an absurd amount of hidden distress? that didn't work because the man before you knocked the breath out of your lungs just by opening his mouth.

frantically, you grab the water bottle in your bag and chug. the comfort of the cool liquid against your scratched esophagus helped you gather yourself before looking him in the eyes.

"you good?—"

"you can't speak."

"why not?"

your heart skipped a beat, the low hum of his voice sounded like a sweet melody to your ears. it was almost unbearable how much you found yourself loving his voice after he'd spoken merely three sentences to you.

"you're going to make me choke again," you told him.

he set his phone down and folded his hands together, leaning slightly forward on the table to narrow his eyes at you and give you his full attention. "good."

you let out a loud gasp and brought your hand to your chest at his words. "excuse me?"

"i would rather listen to you dying than hear you talk about tea for another ten minutes."

"well thats mean," you pouted and felt a blade in your heart. "i was just trying to find something for us to talk about. you know, so we could be friends."

he gave you an incredulous look. "did it even occur to you, throughout the past 15 minutes of you sitting in front of me without me saying a word, that maybe i don't want to be your friend?"

ouch. that one hurt more than the first one. you weren't usually one to get sad easily but that kind of yanked your heart out of your body and smushed it into pieces. you felt like he threw it onto the cement and stomped on it, using his heel to dig into it with every step.

had it ever occurred to you that people didn't like how much you talked? yes, but you never let it get to you because no one ever said it to your face. it felt like a punch in the gut, only this sensation went down to your toes, back up to your heart and to your head with every second you stayed seated.

"i-i'm sorry," you apologized softly. your head was tilted and your mouth was slightly open as you stared at the man in front of you without a single thought in your mind. "i guess i just never realized that my blabbering is the reason for my lack of relationships. you know, platonic, romantic, familial— god, i'm doing it again."

it didn't take long for you to go quiet after that, which was weird because you were never quiet for longer than two minutes. his words really struck a nerve and he'd have been oblivious if he couldn't tell.

you didn't know why you didn't leave, either. you started thinking about every single friendship, every person you were in the talking stage with, how they all just.. left you. how you began talking more because you thought that would get people to like you but in reality just caused everyone to drift away. it was like you stepped in quicksand, stuck in place with nowhere to go but into the ground. you felt like the world was swallowing you whole.

"brock."

he didn't want to seem stuck up or anything but he couldn't believe you didn't know who he was. were you messing with him? you seemed so genuine it almost hurt his stone cold heart to believe you were lying. he wouldn't put it past you to be so oblivious to your surroundings. his face was plastered on transit buses, for crying out loud.

the sound caught you off guard and you almost cringed, not expecting it. you blinked at the blue eyes in front of you.

"what?"

"you asked for my name."

a small smile ghosted upon your lips. had your nonsensical chatter actually worked for a change? you wanted to hold your hand out for him but concluded that would be too formal so you just nodded.

"i'm y/n. sorry for talking your ear off," you apologized sheepishly.

"i'd rather you talk my ear off than choke."

your eyes crinkled at the sides, taking in his words. was that his way of being romantic? because if so, he had a lot to work on.

"i'll just pretend i know what that means.." you trailed off, not wanting to talk too much anymore.

the handsome man you now know as brock, took a long sip of his drink, seeming to be swirling the flavours around his tongue.

"chai's my favourite."

your eyes twinkled. "oh, so we're sharing secrets now?"

"no, that's not what i meant—"

"ah, ah, ah. no take backs! my secret is that i think you're a really cool dude and i wanna be friends with you. how do you feel about that?" you asked, using your hand as a fake microphone and holding it just before his lips.

he looked down at it and back to you, and you could tell there was something going on in his head that he wouldn't dare say out loud. he probably thought you were a crazy person.

just when you started feeling like you were walking on the capilano suspension bridge, he opened his gorgeous mouth. "i feel like that's not a secret."

a hazy feeling shot up your spine when he played along and spoke into your pretend mic. who knew the gloomy cloud had something going for him? his personality was intriguing, something you began to think he didn't put on display for this exact reason. he'd have too many people in his life.

"i think you're really cool," you confessed again, lowering your hand.

confusion ached to take over his features but he held it in, having too much experience with hiding his emotions. what had she found cool about him throughout any of this? if anything, he was as bland as a stale potato chip.

you sensed his bewilderment and made a move to explain yourself, placing your elbow on the table and resting your chin in your hand in hopes of not seeming too interested.

"you're just really.. well, the opposite of me. i find that intriguing 'cause most people seem to be a mix of you and i but.. you're you and i'm me, you know? does that make sense? like, i don't know how to stop talking and you don't seem to like talking too much. most people i know are a mix of that but we aren't."

"you're telling me you don't know anyone as quiet as i am?" he asked slowly, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

that was something he'd never be able to understand because he knew for a fact that there were lots of people in the world who spoke way less than he did. this only made him curious about you.

"well, considering that i'd been rambling about tea for a whole thirteen minutes before you told me to shut up, yes."

he stared at you for a couple moments, biting the inside of his cheek as you sent a cheeky grin his way. it looked as though he was having an internal debate with himself, and when he closed his discussion and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms to give you an amazing view of his muscular chest (yes, even through the hoodie), you eyes widened and you knew you were on your deathbed.

"i like you," he informed simply, not feeling the need to say anything else.

your eyebrose rose in shock. "huh? you wanna be friends with me—"

"i didn't say that—"

"here, put your number in my phone so we can be buddies!" you said hurriedly, rushing to grab your phone before he could change his mind.

he rubbed his temples, his thoughts full of multiple ways of saying, how the fuck did i end up here? he watched carefully as you slid your phone to him, the blank contact ready for him to put in his info.

was he really going to do this? give his number to a random stranger who could possibly be a crazy fan in disguise and leak it? yes, he was.

for the first time ever, brock didn't know what he was doing, and he couldn't shake the spark of it feeling so right.

[binunus]

sex with bin x eunwoo (m)

a/n THIS WHOLE ALBUM??? IS SO GOOD??? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK !!!

also im so so sorry that i keep disappearing, every time I think I have a break in school, my professors keep going like sike here’s a new assignment and group presentation 🤡, but I swear I’m still working on all the requests, it’s just a real slow progression this time 😔

but thank you all so much for being really patient with me and my works, i legit wanna cry when I think about how sweet all you loves are ❤️

→ genre: smut

→ tw: threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it lovies) dom!binwoo, brat!reader, light bondage?? anal, eiffel tower, oral (f and m receiving), fingering (f and m receiving), ~choking~ bc it’s me, squirting, v-voyeurism??

→ word count: 3.3k _________________________________

oh good fucking lord

I don’t even know where to start

just the thought of getting dicked down by these two immaculate men??? at the same time??? i would sell my soul

and just binwoo are literally my biases?? im still going back and forth between them (even though I think bin is the top)

alright so how does this little thing even start

this is a non-idol au, lowkey this request is giving me frat boy vibes oops i said it

bin and eunwoo are close, they’re best buds

they have fucked the same guy/girl before, but never at the same time

they just have the same taste in people wink wonk

sidenote: bin and eunwoo as bi kings??? so much power fuck

so you are a mutual friend

you met them both in college and have stayed friends since then

but relationships aren’t for you (not yet at least)

the streets™ are still your companion

yes you have fucked both bin and eunwoo before in college, eunwoo once when you were junior, and bin a couple times throughout senior year

you don’t talk to them often, but if something comes up on your feed or a monumental event happens to any one of you, of course you’d spike up some conversation

so you’re coming back in town for a week or so, visiting old friends and family

and bin hits you up like “hey, I saw that you were in town! we should get some dinner and catch up!”

and you were not about to say no to that, bin was a good part of your college years! it would be nice to hang out with him again

alright you weren’t expecting to get action from this dinner – it popped in your mind, yes, but it wasn’t the ulterior motive

but did you try to dress up a little to impress moon bin?? maybe so

and shit, when he showed up to the restaurant looking like a whole ass man?? 

like did his biceps look more appetizing than the food you were being served? a little bit

conversation was exchanged very easily, you and bin were always a bit flirty with each other, ever since college, but you both knew it never meant anything beyond sex

and so when he asked if you were dating anyone, you knew this was the invitation, and were you going to accept it?? 100%, you haven’t had sex in a while because of your job

and so you find yourself back in bin’s apartment

bin: hm? I guess eunwoo’s not home from work yet

you: eunwoo? as in cha eunwoo? you guys still live together?

bin: yeah, we like living together, rent was cheaper that way, and this place is equidistant from both of our work places...is that a problem??

you: no, I mean it makes sense, just...what if eunwoo comes back while we’re in the middle of fucking...wouldn’t that be weird?

bin shrugging: you’ve had sex with eunwoo in college too, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen me naked before either. who knows he might even wanna join?

he said that as a joke alright

but as soon as he mentioned it, your eyes dilated a bit

bin noticed immediately and he caged you against the wall, a little smirk playing on his lips

bin: you seem to like that idea, y/n. hm? you wanna get fucked by both me and eunwoo? didn’t know you were into threesomes

your cheeks are flushing, you felt seen: would you feel weird if he joined? you guys are friends and roommates

bin shaking his head: me and eunwoo have talked about it before, and honestly this seems like the perfect opportunity. we’re all friends here.

you being nervous a little bit bc a threesome?? with both bin and eunwoo?? those two 6 foot attractive men??

you tried a threesome before bc you were curious, but it wasn’t the best hookup experience

you: should we...? wait for him??

your cheeks are flushed a little, like how were you supposed to go about this

bin smiles bc you look a bit cute right now being all shy and he just pinches your cheek

bin: you got cuter since we graduated y/n

you: shut the fuck up bin, don’t make me tie you up again

bin smirks and his hand moves from your cheek to fully grasp at your neck, he squeezes your throat as he pushes you so that your back collided with the wall: baby, if anyone’s getting tied up tonight, it’s gonna be you

and god if you weren’t horny before, you definitely are now, especially with the way bin was cutting off your airflow??? your head was spinning in the best kind of way

bin slotting his thigh in between your legs as he just crashes his lips onto yours

and he’s still choking you when he literally shoves his tongue down your throat, you have to grab onto his broad shoulders just to steady yourself

making out with bin is so hot

he picks you up by your ass and you wrap your legs around his waist, you both are still making out as he leads you to the couch

you’re straddling him oh lord have mercy

you in between kisses: why don’t we go to your room? what, is it messy?

you moan as he spanks your ass at the quip: we’re gonna need to do something about that smart mouth of yours baby...and we’re here to give eunwoo a little show when he comes home. Why, you need a bed? pillow princess? last time I remember, you were fine getting fucked in the maintenance room.

you two go back to kissing, bin’s hands were gripping at your waist now, lifting up the bottom of your shirt so that you could take it off

never in your life have you been so happy to wear a skirt, you could feel the outline of his bulge against your underwear, the fabric of his jeans giving you just enough friction

and when you start grinding on him, he grunts into your mouth and bites on your lower lip

and fuck when bin removes his shirt? he was always built in college but the definition of his muscles now?? you were literally drooling

you: holy shit bin, isn’t your job in business? where do you find the time to workout?

he’s kissing your neck now: you can always find time to workout y/n, just make it part of your daily routine

exercise evangelist moonbin™

you’re tilting your head to the side giving him more access, bin’s sucking hickeys into your neck and it just feels so good

your neck’s a sensitive spot, if you couldn’t tell

and bin knows that so he’s paying extra attention to your neck, you don’t even notice when his hands go around your torso to unclasp your bra

the two of you are literally just topless on his couch, making out and feeling each other up, when lo and behold, eunwoo comes home

his eyes go wide and he immediately covers his face: jesus christ bin, go to your fucking room

bin starts laughing, you know his laugh where his eyes literally crinkle and he smiles so wide and his laugh increases in pitch, that one

you can’t help but laugh too, you thought you would be embarrassed, but this is a bit funny

you: you don’t have to cover your eyes eunwoo, it’s not like you haven’t seen any of this before

eunwoo: oh shit, hey y/n, didn’t know you were coming over?? well...uh if you guys aren’t gonna go to bin’s room, I’m going to mine and just let me know when you’re done

bin: you sure you wanna go to your room? y/n wants you to join us

eunwoo’s blushing a little bit (he’s not covering his face anymore) when you two meet eyes: are you sure y/n?

you get a bit shy again bc shit, eunwoo in a suit coming from work with silver-blue hair? sexy

you: yeah...if you want to, me and bin are cool with it.

bin’s back to kissing your neck as you basically watch eunwoo remove his jacket and tie

and oof him unbuttoning his dress shirt? y’all he’s a tease, they both are

bin: let’s take this back to my room

eunwoo: we can go to mine, it’s cleaner and my bed’s bigger

you: i knew it

bin bites your shoulder and you let out a mix between a yelp of pain and a moan

bin: eunwoo get your ropes, we need to teach y/n a lesson on being bratty

eunwoo chuckling as he leads the way to his bedroom

bin already made himself comfortable on eunwoo’s bed, and you’re standing to the side making conversation as eunwoo looks through his closet for the ropes lol

as soon as eunwoo finds it, there’s a dark change in his eyes and he smirks at you: why don’t you join binnie on the bed, y/n?

your stomach turns in excitement, eunwoo tosses the ropes to bin and he puts a hand on your back as he leads you to his bed, and before you could get on by yourself, eunwoo just tugs your skirt down making you gasp

you lie down and bin grins as he binds your wrists to eunwoo’s headboard, usually you would put up a little fight when you get tied up, but you just stayed silent, you were anticipating what would happen next

bin: you’re being oddly obedient y/n

you’re a brat okay, but in the past when you and bin used to hook up, your brattiness increased by like 100%, like you’re extra bratty with bin for some reason

~it is what it is~

maybe it’s because eunwoo’s here too that your bratty side has suppressed a bit

bin and eunwoo both start removing all their clothes and you’re like shit eunwoo’s built too

bin settles in between your legs and eunwoo leans in and starts kissing you

and mmm eunwoo’s good at making out like he legit be taking your breath away and then you start feeling bin take off your soaked panties and he just goes right in

you literally moan into eunwoo’s mouth and your hands are straining against the ropes bc you just want to hold onto something !!

eunwoo feeling up your breasts and tweaking your nipples while bin is sucking on your clit and probing his tongue in and out your entrance??? euphoric

you’re literally feeling so many sensations right now and it’s just foreplay woo

and then the edging starts

bin??? hella good at eating out, oof what that mouth do

and with the added stimulation from eunwoo kissing your neck and pulling at your nips, you’re reaching your orgasm faster than anticipated

and suddenly they’re both off you

you: what the fuck?

you’re like gasping and glaring at the both of them and they just give you smug looks

bin: I don’t know if you deserve to cum just yet, y/n. right, eunwoo?

eunwoo chuckling as he nods and flicks at your nipple: binnie told me that you like talking back, hmmm that won’t work with both of us here y/n

your submissiveness kicking in and you’re whining: i won’t talk back, I promise

bin: I don’t know if I believe you y/n

and then they switch places and now bin’s making out with you again and eunwoo’s face to face with your cunt and he just shoves two fingers in your entrance and starts scissoring you

and right as you’re about to cum, they pull away again

this goes on at least two more times, you’re literally so frustrated tears are pooling in your eyes and you’re whining hard as hell, your wrists already aching from the ropes 

eunwoo: do you want us to untie you, y/n?

you nodding as you’re sniffling back the tears

aww they feel bad so eunwoo unties the ropes and he’s like gently rubbing at your wrists

bin wiping your tears away as he pinches at your cheek again

bin: you okay, y/n?

you: I’m so close, please

bin: alright baby, who do you want first, hm?

you honestly didn’t know, you had no preference, you just wanted to get railed

eunwoo: why not both?

your eyes go wide a little bit, your ass isn’t even prepped

bin sensing your hesitation and he just puts a hand on your waist: if you don’t want to--

you: no, i want to...I’m just...my ass isn’t ready...

eunwoo laughing cutely as he pats your thigh: we’ll prep you baby, don’t worry

you start by going on all fours, bin enters you first from behind and the groan he lets out bc you’re just so tight wow 

he literally has to restrain himself from just ramming into you, your walls just fit so snugly around him, his nails were digging into the skin of your waist

you open your mouth in a moan at the stretch and in that moment, eunwoo shoves his cock down your throat you literally gag

for reference, they’re both above average, no surprise there, I’d say both around 8 in., but bin’s girthier for sure

and so bin’s fucking your cunt while eunwoo’s fucking your mouth

simultaneously, eunwoo tugs at your hair and bin sneaks a finger down to gather some juices from your pussy before probing at your asshole

bin’s prepping you real well mmmmm

he’s literally fingering your ass while he’s pounding into you, the tip of his cock hitting so deep in your cervix

on the other hand you’re so focused on sucking eunwoo off, you take him as deep in your throat as you could, letting your jaw slack as he just thrusted in your mouth

and also the vibrations of your moans around his cock every time bin hits deep in you???

eunwoo swears he almost busts a nut when your hands reach up to play with his balls

he’s panting as he pulls your mouth off his cock: I need to be inside you before I cum

and then he’s lying down on his back and you start to ride eunwoo, and then bin lines his cock up at your other hole and you start to tense

eunwoo bringing you into a kiss to try and distract you from the pain your asshole’s about to feel

and you start hissing as bin starts to push in, you’re clenching so hard around eunwoo and tugging tightly at the ends of his hair

eunwoo starts making circles on your clit so that you could relax a bit to make it easier for bin to enter your back hole

and then the three of you just stay still for a bit when bin finally bottoms out, you’re still trying to get used to feeling stuffed full, you haven’t been fucked in so long and now you’re getting railed by two cocks??

the two of them are both saying sweet things to calm you down and distract you from the pain

and it’s cute, you know from your respective past hookup experiences with them that they’re really good at sensing discomfort or pain and would always tend to your needs

oof baby but as soon as you give the okay for both of them to move

it’s like you’re taken to another dimension holy shit

they both hit so deep, you swear to god their cocks have to be touching or something, or maybe at least reaching your intestines

when people say rearrange your guts, it definitely must have been this

you’re trying to set a pace on top of eunwoo, but bin thrusting from behind literally makes your knees go weak until eunwoo just lifts his hips and takes over, matching bin’s speed

and imagine this: bin pulling your hair, making your head tilt back and eunwoo just reaches up and covers your neck with his hand before he squeezes at your throat

your eyes are literally rolling into the back of your head, you have never felt this good ever in your life

your head’s spinning again, and you know all three of you are reaching the tipping point pretty soon, your stomach is churning, making you clench hard around both eunwoo and bin

eunwoo biting his lip as he groans, his grip tightening just a bit more around your neck

bin’s still yanking your hair back and he starts spanking your ass, he’s moaning as well

you literally scream, throat feeling raw, as you cum, you have never orgasmed so hard before, your body was convulsing around both of them and you just collapse on top of eunwoo

you’re vision literally sees white and your ears are ringing as they both cum in you

you black out for a little bit

eunwoo and bin: o_o holy fuck

the two of them start panicking like...did they just fuck you dead?? put you in a coma??

okay but just imagine eunwoo and bin bickering with each other about what to do like

bin: do we call 119???

eunwoo: what do we say? we fucked our friend into a coma?

it’s okay because you regain consciousness soon enough and both boys let out the biggest sigh of relief

you: ...what happened?

eunwoo: you passed out for a bit there y/n

you start giggling, much to their surprise, and you try to sit up

bin: ...are you okay y/n?

you: yeah, I can’t believe I blacked out because you guys fucked me so well, that’s pretty hot not gonna lie

eunwoo goes into the kitchen real quick to get you some water and bin sits down next to you

you thank eunwoo when he hands you the glass and he sits across from you and bin

the two roommates exchange a look and just high-five each other

you roll your eyes as they just laugh at each other...ugh boys

bin teasing you: I’ve never seen you so submissive y/n

eunwoo joining in: yeah, didn’t know you could squirt as well

you almost spit out the water: i-huh? no way

eunwoo: yeah, my stomach was soaked, I wiped it off when you were out

your face flushes, you’ve never squirted before

bin: don’t be embarrassed! it was hot, y/n, really

the three of you then just jump into a casual conversation about college, keep in mind you’re all still naked

and then you feel the cum just like in both your holes and it’s just uncomfortably sticky

you: uh...do you guys mind if I shower? my pussy feels gross right now

bin, with a glint in his eyes: I can clean that up for you, baby

before you know it, bin’s eating you out again -- to be more specific, he’s literally licking the mixture of yours and eunwoo’s cum from your cunt

that’s sexy...

you make eye contact with eunwoo and he’s just smirking as he sits back and watches you two, no intention on joining yet

alright but you had no idea if you could take another round right now, the first one literally made you pass out

so after bin makes you cum again, you tap out for the night

the three of you shower -- separately -- and then regroup in the living room to just chat and chill

the two insist you sleep over for the night since it’s past midnight by now

were there also hints of a round two in the morning?? maybe

you sleep in one of eunwoo’s shirts, but end up sleeping next to bin bc he’s whiny and likes cuddling

you three fuck again in the morning oops until eunwoo had to leave for work

then you and bin fuck again afterwards

happy threesome

happy comeback :)

4-5-21

[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOUR EMPLOYEES AND INVESTORS WILL CONSTANTLY BE ASKING ARE WE THERE YET

I think I've figured out what's going on. After the first 10 or so we learned to treat deals as background processes that we should ignore till they terminated.1 Don't Get Your Hopes Up. Something hacked together means something that barely solves the problem, the harder it is to bait the hook with prestige. And that is almost certainly mistaken. So one thing that falls just short of the standard, I think, should be the highest goal for the marginal. Big companies think the function of office space is to express rank. As big companies' oligopolies became less secure, they were willing to pay a premium for labor. You can see it in old photos. If you're friends with a lot of the worst kinds of projects are the death of a thousand cuts. And what's especially dangerous is that many happen at your computer.

And the microcomputer business ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. In 1450 it was filled with the kind of turbulent and ambitious people you find now in America. You have to like what they do there than how much they can get the most done. That's not what makes startups worth the trouble. Design This kind of metric would allow us to compare different languages, but that if someone wanted to design a language explicitly to disprove this hyphothesis, they could probably do it. This technique can be generalized to: What's the best thing you could be doing, not just what you can see the results in any town in America. With this amount of money can change a startup's funding situation completely. There I found a copy of The Atlantic. Whereas it's easy to get sucked into working longer than you expected at the money job.2 That's ok. I think you have to do all three. But more importantly, you'll get into the habit of doing things well.

But what if the person in the next 40 years will bring us some wonderful things.3 They all know about the VCs who rejected Google. The writing of essays used to be.4 You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.5 He improvises: if someone appears in front of him, he runs around them; if someone tries to grab him, he spins out of their grip; he'll even run in the wrong place, anything might happen. The people who've worked for a few months I realized that what I'd been unconsciously hoping to find there was back in the place I'd just left. It was supposed to be something else, they ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. By 2012 that number was 18 years. The first thing you need is to be willing to look like a fool.6 Google they have a fair amount of data to go on. John Malkovich where the nerdy hero encounters a very attractive, sophisticated woman.

Many of the big companies were roll-ups that didn't have clear founders.7 Empirically, the way to the bed and breakfast, and other similar classes of accommodations, you get to hit a few difficult problems over the net at someone, you learn pretty quickly how hard they hit them anyway. Inexperienced founders make the same mistake as the people who list at ABNB, they list elsewhere too I am not negative on this one was the only way to get lots of referrals is to invest in students, not professors. It will actually become a reasonable strategy or a more reasonable strategy to suspect everything new.8 Never say we're passionate or our product is great. Whereas undergraduate admissions seem to be disappointments early on, when they're just a couple guys in an apartment. Programmers at Yahoo wouldn't have asked that.9 Incidentally, this scale might be helpful in deciding what to study in college. VCs think they're playing a zero sum game.

I spend most of my time writing essays lately. Almost everyone's initial plan is broken. If smaller source code is the purpose of comparing languages, because they come closest of any group I know to embodying it. Distracting is, similarly, desirable at the wrong time. But if we make kids work on dull stuff now is so they can get away with atrocious customer service. In fact, here there was a kid playing basketball? Of course, figuring out what you like.

Go out of your way to bring it up e. The industry term here is conversion. Try to keep the sense of wonder you had about programming at age 14. At least if you start a startup, people treat you as if you're unemployed.10 But hacking is like writing. Even with us working to make things happen the way they used to, they were moving to a cheaper apartment. It causes you to work not on what you like, but is disastrously lacking in others. I do in the rest of the world. Their defining quality is probably that they really love to program.

I could only figure out what to do, there's a natural tendency to stop looking.11 Economies of scale ruled the day.12 One is that this is simply the founders' living expenses.13 I need to transfer a file or edit a web page, and I think I know what is meant by readability, and I think they're onto something. Multiply this times several hundred, and I get an uneasy feeling when I look at my bookshelves. You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.14 Everyday life gives you no practice in this. Startups grow up around universities because universities bring together promising young people and make them work on anything they don't want to want, we consider technological progress good.

Notes

Samuel Johnson said no man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money. Which is precisely my point. If they were regarded as 'just' even after the egalitarian pressures of World War II the tax codes were so new that the guys running Digg are especially sneaky, but except for money. They don't know enough about the new top story.

The image shows us, they tended to make money. But we invest in the Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and one of the fake leading the fake leading the fake. In No Logo, Naomi Klein says that 15-20% of the aircraft is.

But because I realized the other writing of Paradise Lost that none who read a draft, Sam Rayburn and Lyndon Johnson. If they agreed among themselves never to do due diligence for an investor? The best technique I've found for dealing with the other.

I ordered a large number of startups as they do for a public event, you can ignore. If you want to help the company, and a few of the Facebook that might produce the next Apple, maybe the corp dev is to show growth graphs at either stage, investors decide whether to go to die.

If you walk into a big company CEOs in 2002 was 3.

Or rather, where w is will and d discipline. But that turned out the existing shareholders, including that Florence was then the richest country in the sense of mission.

In Shakespeare's own time, because they can't afford to. The company may not be able to raise their kids in a company in Germany. When we got to see the apples, they said, and why it's next to impossible to write an essay about it wrong. That will in many cases be an open booth.

I'm not saying you should probably be worth trying to tell them exactly what constitutes research in the early 90s when they say they bear no blame for any particular truths you'll learn. As Jeremy Siegel points out that there is undeniably a grim satisfaction in hunting down certain sorts of bugs. Did you know about it as if you'd invested at a discount of 30% means when it was actually a great programmer doesn't merely do the right direction to be is represented by Milton.

But a lot of the next round. It's hard to say exactly what your body is telling you. In Russia they just kill you, they tend to be very unhealthy. One thing that drives most people realize, because you have two choices, choose the harder.

Though Balzac made a lot of classic abstract expressionism is doodling of this essay talks about programmers, but one by one they die and their houses are transformed by developers into McMansions and sold to VPs of Bus Dev. Or rather, where it sometimes causes investors to act. Eric Raymond says the best hackers want to trick admissions officers. And no, unfortunately, I mean efforts to protect widows and orphans from crooked investment schemes; people with a truly feudal economy, you better be sure you do in proper essays.

The top VCs thus have a better education. Or a phone, IM, email, Web, games, books, newspapers, or some vague thing like that. You need to fix. But the question is not much to maintain their percentage.

Kant. Loosely speaking. The real decline seems to them to lose elections. Some types of startups where the recipe is to say incendiary things, they can grow the acquisition offers most successful founders still get rich simply by being energetic and unscrupulous, but they get for free.

World War II to the frightening lies told by older siblings. That's one of the most general truths. As we walked in, we found they used it to get into that because a unless your last funding round.

But this seems an odd idea.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Shiro Kawai, Garry Tan, Chris Small, and Nikhil Nirmel for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[sunjaesol]

the smile you gave me (it’s magic)

juke | meet-cute au | tw: alcohol + annoying men in bars | written for @alexjulies as we have the same headcanons about luke

What Julie Molina was about to do was horribly unfeminist and Flynn would hate her forever, but really, it was all the man’s fault - as usual.

She rejected his advances three times now in the last hour. The bartender gave her a drink on the man’s tab and she sent it back, the man brought it himself (introduced himself as Levi) and she politely declined once more. The third time he asked her to dance and then she fled to the bathroom. Julie wasn’t the biggest partygoer, occasionally joining Flynn for happy hour - like today. Her friend was late however, due to an emergency meeting at a magazine she worked at and Julie had to endure the bar alone. Grave mistake. She should’ve just waited at a McDonalds or something; even if she’d look out of place in her cocktail dress.

im there in 15!! hang in there <3 <3

Julie groaned. Great. Fifteen more minutes in a smelly bathroom stall as women outside were drunkenly crying in front of the mirrors and babbled about their own grievances regarding men. For such a universal problem, she had hoped all men would’ve taken the hint by now.

No, she didn’t want to dance. No, she didn’t want a drink. No, she wouldn’t give her number to someone that kept pushing and coming into her personal space. Levi could fuck off. It was bad enough how he had given her a suggestive once-over like he was deciding whether he wanted brunette or blonde tonight.  

The reminder angered her, pushed her out of the stall with a scowl. Was she really going to let a dumb man (nay: boy) ruin her night before it even started? Her songwriting session with Hayley Williams had gone really well and she deserved to celebrate that! She deserved to end her day on a high note! A quick look in the mirror to assure her make-up hadn’t smudged, she marched out the bathroom back into the dimly lit bar.

Her eyes scanned the room, relieved to not catch Levi close-by. Did he give up and leave? Was he cornering another girl? Whatever. As long as he wasn’t bothering her, she’d be able to breathe and maybe forget about the altercation.

If he did bother her again, she’d use her privilege as a girl and yell at the top of her lungs that he was harassing her. Surely then security would kick him out, right?

Over by the bartop was clamour, two men pulling each other into a laughing embrace as one hauled their backpack over their shoulder as the other dropped it. Changing shifts, Julie noted, halting on the man that had arrived. Well then. The theory that bars only hired attractive people seemed to be correct, the guy straight from a CW show. Mussed up brown hair, sharp features, big eyes, cute smile. A ten out of ten.  

He shrugged his red shacket off, fully black outfit beneath and began washing off discarded glasses. His muscular arms made her throat dry up; he wasn’t attractive, he was hot.

(Oh God. Was she just as bad as Levi, gawking over a stranger? But wasn’t part of his job that girls were supposed to gawk over him? More tips and all that? Julie decided she shouldn’t feel too guilty.)

Her feet moved on their own accord towards the bar, sliding into a leather high stool and wondering what she’d order as she waited for any of the bartenders (him?) to approach her.

Luck was on her side, the new bartender pressing his hands into the counter, brows raised expectantly. “What can I get you?”

Her lips tutted, debating between a margarita and a strawberry mojito. Both were appealing and at a marginally low price. “What’s better?”, she asked. “Margarita or mojito? Honestly.”

He grinned. “Honestly?”

“Yeah.” She crossed her arms atop the counter, a brush away from his hands. “I’ve bartended before. I know you have to lie a little.”

His muscle tee shifted around as he chuckled, slivers of tattoos peeking through on his chest. Her eyes averted, hoping she was a bit more subtle than she felt, and kept them trained on the stacks of whiskey in the glass rack.

His fingers drummed on the wood. “The mojito, then.” Leaning in as if imparting a secret, he added: “We’ve been buying the cheaper tequila. Gotta pay those bills.”

Satisfied at his reply, she gave him a pleased nod. “Okay. A mojito, please.”

He pushed himself off with a click of the tongue, as if he auctioned her something, and turned to grab the ingredients. As he poured the rum into a tall glass, he fell into casual conversation she was all too familiar with.

“You here alone?”

“Waiting on a friend.” Eager to distract herself from the reason why she waiting, and what caused her to wait in a fucking bathroom, she asked: “What’s the tattoo?”

The bartender paused for a beat, as if momentarily forgetting he was inked up, and then tugged his shirt out the way to showcase more skin. Had she not been so curious, she’d focus on the fact that he was defined as hell. The tattoo was a detailed sun with an ocean wave drawn inside. More uncovered: a play and pause button, ‘now or never’, a stick and poke tattoo of a lightning bolt. It was as if she herself doodled onto her skin and then left it there, but it somehow worked. It was personal. Maybe she was also a bit intrigued since he seemed especially interested by music. Granted, it was LA. Everyone was some type of artist with varying degrees of success. Still - she was curious.

“They’re cool,” she complimented, him going back to making her drink with an appreciative grin.

“Thanks.”

“Was the lightning bolt a drunk decision?”, she teased. The only instance someone got a stick and poke tattoo was when they felt chaotic or impulsive.

His grin widened, throwing crushed ice in the glass. “That obvious? Yeah, me and my boys all got one. This whole idea of-” He waved his hands around, trying to find the right words. “-bonding us together for life, I guess.”

Warmth thudded in her chest at his story, endeared by the way his voice became lighter when he talked about his friends. They must be like brothers to him.

As he placed the completed drink in front of her, she contemplated her answer. She’d rather keep talking to him than wait for Flynn in silence. “That’s nice. Having friends like that, it’s special.” Twisting her wrist, she showed her own tattoo. “I got this one when I turned eighteen.”      

They were two, small butterflies dancing on the inside of her forearm. When her mother passed away, she always knew she’d get something to commemorate her. Doodles of butterflies marked her skin in high school, finally becoming permanent when she was allowed to. Knowing everyone inevitably asked about the why, she continued talking.  

“It’s, you know, it’s about metamorphosis and beauty and transcendence and I just-” She caught herself before blabbing her sob story to a stranger. With a chuckle, she muttered: “It’s a reminder that change is good.”

When Julie looked up at him, she was struck by the wonder on his face. He didn’t look as confident as he did before, probably taken aback by her sudden spiritual spiel about butterflies - or by her, in general. The thought let a quiet thrill course through her.  

He snapped out of it, a smirk falling on his lips as his nail chimed against the glass. “It’s on me.”

“Is that a move?” Her head tilted, amused.

“You want me to lie or be honest?” The man leaned across the counter again, much closer this time. “Cool tattoo, by the way.”

She laughed, biting back a silly grin from blooming. This was his job, she reminded herself. Act all cute and get her to buy more drinks so that eventually, her tab would be enormous. It was like winning once at a game of poker and then becoming cocky.

Coy, she ripped her gaze from his and sipped on her drink. She’d let him simmer for a bit.

That was when it happened. Her unfeminist deed that would make Gloria Steinem shudder. Levi, the devil reincarnated, shot her a smug look from the other side of the bar. Swerving past people to the beat of the music, he tried approaching her again.

Julie groaned behind her glass, her good mood instantly shattered once more. Why couldn’t this idiot take a fucking hint?!

“Damn,” bartender mused, “I thought my mojito skills were good.”

The brash words tumbled out at a rapid pace, her need for a solution trumping her pride. “There’s a guy coming onto me right now and you need to help me ward him off. Please.”

He grimaced. “Yeesh. Ex-boyfriend?”

“Worse,” she bit. “A fool.”

A stressed smile pinned itself on her cheeks as Levi sidled beside her, one arm bracketing her left. Her back tensed as she shot a quick, pleading look at the bartender. He zeroed in on Levi, mouth curled downwards.    

“There you are,” Levi grinned. “Thought you left.”

Julie didn’t entertain him anymore. “I’ve told you. I’m not interested.”

He dismissed her. “I see you got yourself a drink? What is it?”

“I’m not interested,” she snapped, eyes flickering once more to the bartender. Was he really not going to help her?

It spurred him into action, his arm reaching over to create a barrier between Levi and her. “Dude, you heard her. Back off.”

Levi snarled. “Can you not? This is between me and her.”

“No, actually,” he exclaimed, blunt. “I’m her boyfriend.”

Her vigilance got her acting swiftly, shifting her expression into a believable nod and placing a hand on his outstretched arm.  

“He is?” Levi was gobsmacked, a hint of anger lacing his voice.

“Yeah,” Julie bit, silently thanking him when he played along and enveloped her hand with his. Her final strike spit his venom right back in his face. “So can you just leave us alone?”

The man rolled his eyes with a scoff, kicking one of the stools and mumbling a string of curses. “Bullshit…”

When he was out of sight again, having stormed off like a petulant child to a shadowy corner, Julie let out breath of relief. “Finally!” Shooting the bartender a bright smile, she kept babbling. “You have no idea how annoying that is. And smart idea - the boyfriend card always works!”

He squeezed her hand, worried. “You sure you’re okay? That was fucked up.”

“Yeah…” She trailed off, the soft touch reminding her of his words from before. Squeezing back, she watched as the pinch between his brows vanished. “I’m okay.”

They kept their stare for a beat, the revolving pop music and excited chatter merely background noise. Neither have let go of their hold on each other. She didn’t want to either; his hand was warm and gentle and a calloused thumb absentmindedly caressed her skin. Levi should learn from this.

Sometimes, a connection just happened.

He let go first, collecting himself into a casual stance that was far more amusing than it should be. Ducking beneath the bar and grabbing a beer, he tapped it against her glass with a cocky nod. “My name’s Luke.”

Julie matched his expression. Luke. Luke, the bartender. It fit him perfectly. “I’m Julie. Are you supposed to be drinking on the clock?”

“I work in a bar,” Luke deadpanned. “It’s expected. And I’m sure Jack can handle it.”

“Why would he have to serve alone?” she inquired teasingly, eyes glimmering with challenge. If there was one thing she loved, it was getting the upper hand in a fun game of flirting.  

He lifted his bottle with a wink. “I’m drinking with you.” A pause, his gaze matching her intensity. Damn. He was a good opponent. “Unless you want me to go?”

She shook her head, took a sip from the mojito and wiggled her brows. “Cheers to warding off annoying men, fake boyfriend.”

“I better get some good karma from this,” he joked. “Cheers!”

(Later that night, she’d realise Flynn never came by. When she asked what happened, Flynn told her she had walked in and saw Julie completely wrapped up in a conversation ‘with that cute bartender’ and left. The joyous announcement that Julie got his number made her friend screech over the phone.

Julie went back to the bar many times. Drinking and talking bled until deep in the night, once till closing time and then he walked her to her apartment. He didn’t resist when she kissed him, his lips kissing back with hunger.

It didn’t take long for the ‘fake’ to be scrapped from that label.)  

🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸

@blush-and-books @willexx @bluefirewrites @ourstarscollided

[atlabeth]

transferred part four - atla smau

TRANSFERRED - zuko x fem!reader

masterlist | part 3 | part 5

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know that he’s falling for you as well.

warning: cursing

a/n: IM SORRY I KEEP SWITCHING POVS the one at the end is katara lmao

taglist:  @ourbestfriend-mishacollins , @lil-lex1 , @xxshad0wxb1rdxx , @zuko-is-the-sun​ 

You slipped your phone into the back pocket of your jeans and got out of your car, taking a few moments to stretch out your arms and legs after the long drive. It was a little weird to think that this was going to be your new home and university, especially after so long in Kyoshi, but you were honestly looking forward to the change. After the disastrous breakup you endured, it was time for a new chapter. 

Your eyes instinctively snapped over to where you heard a noise, and a huge grin broke out on your face. Two people were coming out of the complex, and they were none other than your two roommates. 

“Sokka, Aang!” You yelled as you ran towards them. You barreled into Sokka and wrapped him in the tightest hug you could muster, looping Aang into it as well for a few moments before you pulled away, smiling so wide your face hurt. 

“Aang, it’s so good to see you, and Sokka — Sokka, you’ve gotten so tall!” You mussed up his hair with your hand which he swatted away. 

“It’s good to see you too, Y/N, but it hasn’t even been that long! And I don’t know how many times I have to remind you that you’re only a year and a half older than me!” 

“Sokka, I haven’t seen you since I moved to Kyoshi for college. It’s been far too long.” You gestured with your head for them to follow you as you started walking over to your car. “And Aang, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you too! You better be treating Katara well.” 

The shorter boy smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head, faint red tinting his cheeks. “I like to think I am, we’re really happy together. She’s the best person that I know and the most beautiful girl ever and she always h-” 

“Okay, that’s enough! Seriously Y/N, you don’t have to whip out the interrogations right away.” Despite his complaints, Sokka gave you a genuine smile and you could tell he was just as happy to see you. 

“Whatever. I’m gonna need all the details on everything that’s been going on the past three years. The occasional facetime call has not been enough.” You went to the back of your car and opened your trunk where most of the boxes were, turning your head when you heard another car pulling up. 

“That’s Katara’s car!” Aang exclaimed. “That must be her and the other girls!” 

The car pulled in two spots away from you and as soon as it stopped, an auburn-haired girl jumped out of the driver's seat and streaked over towards you, wrapping you in an even tighter hug than you gave Sokka. 

“Suki!” She was practically suffocating you but you were so glad to see her that you didn’t even care. “I’m so glad you’re here!” 

“Like I would miss my best friend’s moving day?” The two of you pulled away and went through your increasingly elaborate handshake, ending in a hip bump that caused you both to dissolve into giggles. “You look amazing, Y/N. It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve been together.” 

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that anymore, because I’m here to stay! At least for the next four years.” You laughed and looked over to where your sister was helping Toph out of the car and gave her a wave. 

“As much fun as I’m having with all these greetings, we gotta start moving these fuckin’ boxes! At this rate, I’m gonna be sleeping outside.” You hugged Katara as well when she walked over, then you picked the first box up and motioned with your head for everyone else to get one as you started walking backwards towards the apartment. “Toph is the only one who’s exempt from this, everyone else gets a box and s-” 

You stopped in the middle of your sentence when someone bumped into you from behind, causing you to nearly drop your box. You were just as surprised when you felt hands on your waist, keeping you steady and helping you regain your balance. You turned your head and could immediately feel your cheeks heating up as you hastily moved away, laughing nervously and occupying yourself with the box in your hands. 

“Hey! Zuko! Nice to meet you! It is Zuko, right?” His golden eyes seemed to burn into you, but they were offset by his kind smile and the casual nod he gave you. 

“Yeah, that’s me. Sorry I’m so late, I was showering. I didn’t think you were gonna be here so soon.” He waved at Katara and Suki and they smiled back at him. 

He was even more attractive in person. His jet black hair, still a little wet from his shower, hanging just above his eyes was really doing it for you, and god, his eyes. They were intense, but more like a comforting campfire than a raging wildfire. You didn’t even realize you were staring until Sokka elbowed you. 

Your eyes widened slightly and you quickly averted them, adjusting your hold on the box and letting out another nervous laugh. “Now that we’re all here, how about these boxes, huh? I don’t have that much stuff because I’m broke, which is good for all of you.” 

You had gotten out of your flustered state by the time that everyone had a box in hand, save for Toph, and conversation flowed much easier while you and the rest of the group walked into the complex. 

“How was your drive, Y/N?” Zuko asked, holding the door open with his back as you all filed inside.

You shook your head and scoffed as you hit the button to call the elevator. “As boring as you can imagine. Traffic wasn’t horrible, but I swear I hit every single light on the way here. My music was the only thing that kept me sane.” 

“One pro of being blind is that I always have company in cars, but it also kinda sucks when the only source of conversation you have is Sokka or Katara,” Toph said with a teasing grin. 

“What?” Both of the aforementioned yelled at the same time, causing everyone except them to dissolve into laughter. 

“This is what I missed. I don’t even have to make up for three years of missed teasing because Toph’s had it taken care of.” You patted her on the shoulder as the elevator door opened and everyone filed in. “What floor are we on?” 

“Three. There’s a lot of foot traffic and we have some very annoying neighbors, but it’s one of the cheaper places here!” Sokka pushed the button and the doors closed. 

“Sounds.. fun!” You couldn’t really complain because you had practically begged for Sokka to let you live with him, plus you couldn’t afford anything more than splitting rent four ways in a cheap apartment. “Is there anything else I should know?” 

“Sokka never washes his dishes and only takes out the trash if you yell at him to do it. Zuko always leaves his towels on the ground but he’s a neat freak so the cleanliness of his room leeches into the rest of our apartment, it’s great. And I’m a perfect roommate,” Aang said with his smile that could convince you to give him everything you owned. 

“That is such a lie, Aang! I do everything that I’m supposed to do; your room is a mess that can’t even be cleaned up by Zuko, plus you stay up super late all the time talking on the phone to Katara! Thin walls buddy, THIN. WALLS.” 

“Do you want to talk about thin walls? Because you play your music as loud as possible, and somehow it’s always when I’m trying to study! And every time we drink, you become a huge mess.” After Zuko put his word in, the three boys all started arguing. You made eye contact with Katara and Suki; Katara gave you a sympathetic smile but Suki just grinned. 

“Alright, boys! We’re here, so kindly shut up.” You elbowed Sokka in the side as you walked out of the elevator, giving him an innocent smile when he scowled at you. “Lead the way, bro.” 

~~ 

It took about ten minutes to get all of your boxes in the apartment with six people helping you, and though the girls wanted to stay they had to get back for some stuff relating to their classes. You thanked and hugged them all, and soon it was just you, your brother, your sister’s boyfriend, and the guy that you thought was hot. 

You spun around in the living room before collapsing onto the couch, spreading your arms out above you and sighing heavily. “I feel like I could fall asleep right here.” 

“I hope you can because that’s where you’re gonna be sleeping.” You looked up at Sokka with shock, and he stared back at you for about five seconds until he started laughing. 

“Ah, you should’ve SEEN your face!” He managed to get out through his laughter, wiping a tear from his eye. 

“Do you enjoy causing me pain?” 

“Very much so.” 

“You and Sokka are sharing a room, Y/N. Aang and I are in the other. And don’t worry, there are two twin beds in each so you don’t have to share share,” Zuko explained quickly. 

“Oh, fantastic. My boyfriend always snored a lot so I’ve gotten very good at tuning them out. You’re lucky that I’m the best roommate ever, bro.” 

“First you invade the sanctuary that is my home, and then the sanctuary that is the group chat for the home, and now you embarrass me in front of all of my friends for no reason? You are not my mom!” 

“Come on Y/N, we can show you around your room and the apartment.” Aang interrupted Sokka’s spiel, still going on in the background as the two of you walked over to a door with a large band poster on it. 

Zuko watched your retreating figure with a small smile on his face until you disappeared into the room, snapping out of his trance when Sokka started pulling him towards the room, grumbling about how ‘no one appreciates my genius’ and ‘can’t believe they left me’. 

[raccooninthedaytime]

alright bestie pls share more thoughts you have about a p&p miniseries/remake

Oh boy oh boy ok

Its filmed mockumentary style. Handheld shots and camera side eyes and all of that. I havent sold myself on confessionals yet t but im 90% there. This is the biggest and hopefully only anachronism in the show

its still regency. So costumes are historically accurate. The stylistic choice is that they are very Extreme in their own right (think emma). Its camp

Like lady cathrine debourgh is all lavish frills and bells and whistles, so much so you can barely figure out where She ends and her clothing starts. Mrs. bennet is similar but since she’s poor she does it to a lesser extent and with cheaper looking fabric. You get it

Mr collins is always inexplicably greasy. Maybe he grows subtly moreso during the corse of the series.

Speaking of collins: He is never in a shot purposely. The shots are framed around everyone and anyone else, and if he has some reason to be in the scene, he will make his way in there. This is because the cameraman is actively trying to cut him out of the shots.

This idea stemmed from me thinking how funny it would be if every time he interrupted a conversation with something about his sponsor, he’d pop his greasy head in the frame completely unannounced, saying “now this reminds me of the honorable lady catherine—“

Similarly, the framing of shots with darcy are like, hes always there. Lurking. And he is visibly uncomfortable. You get the sense he’s trying to hide from the camera, but it KEEPS finding him and he hates it.

Lizzie side eyes that camera SOOOOOO much. She is constantly doing it.

OH MAYBE THE CAMERA IS REPRESENTING HER VIEW OF PEOPLE. LIKE WE’RE IN HER MIND SHES BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL FOR US. oh thats splendid. Yes. Like fleabag

Bingley and Jane are sweet perfect angels. I have changed nothing about their characters from the book. Both of their actors play this extremely straight like its a plain romance and not a farce

of course, as mentioned before, Bingley gets to punch darcy after finding out darcy hid jane from him, then with that all out of his system he immediately asks for darcy’s blessing. This is because darcy deserves it and Bingley deserves to do it <3

At wickham and lydia’s wedding, wickham has a busted lip or broken nose or something. Darcy has busted knuckles. No one mentions this. This is also because wickham deserves it.

Lizzie gets to say “but she’s a CHILD” at least once after hearing rhe news of lydia, because holy shit why doesnt this worry more people she’s literally a child.

This:

Lizzie, on the grounds of pemberly, warily: and you’re sure the family is away?

Housekeeper: yes, for another week.

*smashcut to darcy just swimming around in pemberly’s fucking lake.*

(We here at raccooninthedaytime.tumblr.com do not think that this entire scene got the attention it deserves because it is hands down the funniest scene in p&p and will be a whole episode in itself.)

Lizzie talking to charlotte lucas immediately after collins’ proposal, smashcut to charlotte walking out of there with him on her arm.

Every interaction between darcy and lizzie pre-pemberly episode is the most excruciatingly awkward conversation. Lizzie is trying so hard to make it bearable and darcy.exe has stopped working

There’s probably more to come but these are my initial thoughts i just think it would be fun

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

[pbandjesse]

Today was not what I had planned. I woke up a 8 to a text from the dentist reminding me about my appointment. That I didnt realize was today. I thought it was thursday. So I am very glad I got up! I had about an hour until I needed to leave though. I had plenty of time to get washed and dressed. James wold soon leave for work and I would get all cute. 

I didnt have high hopes for the dentist. But it ended up being fine. I parked in the parking garage. Forgot the ticket in the car, would go back for it later. And I didnt get lost finding the office this time. 

I did not see the main dentist, I saw an associate. But I loved her. She was so sweet. And while she understood why I wanted the tooth removed, she thinks its salvageable and that insurance should cover it. I got all the xrays and now that I have this insurance I was like. Okay. Im willing to get this fixed, with the caveat that if they get in there and the took is broken (which is what I think), they will pull it. So I felt like things were good. The woman at the desk even called the other office to make me an appointment so I wouldnt have to call and it was so kind. 

I left there in a good mood. I went back to the car to grab that parking ticket, and then went to the fancy grocery store. I got some stuff thats hard to get at the regular stores. And just had a nice time looking around. 

I headed home after that. High spirits. But almost as soon as I got home I get a call from the dentist that they called the insurance and they wont cover anything. At all. Because I hadnt had the insurance for a year?? I have never heard of this before. Like the whole reason I got this plan was because it covered so much of the root canal procedure. And so I started crying. And they the woman tells me that the first of the three appointments I have would cost $1500. So I was just like. I guess. Cancel it. She apologized but I was just like. I did the thing I was supposed to do. I got the insurance. I pay it on time. But I just felt so stupid.

So I was a bit hysterical and I called the insurance with the plan to yell and then cancel the insurance. But once I got through the robot voices I was mostly just very very sad. I knew the person on the phone wasnt at fault. So thats what I said. I was just like. Hey, Im going to start sobbing in a second, I am not mad at you, I know you just work there, but I dont know what to do. I did the thing I was supposed to do but I cant get the help I need now. And she was so kind and right away put in a request to override the year waiting period.  So I have to wait until wednesday to find out if that is approved. But it was a little bit of hope I guess? I called back the dentist and explained what happened and she said to call her back when I get word and that the dentist will see what can be done on their end too. 

Its wild though. Why is that a thing?? I would have gotten the cheaper plan if I knew I wouldnt be able to use any of the coverage for a year?? Like I get its probably my fault but I have never heard of anything like that before. It wasnt even like I hadnt met a minimum for the year, they were just like oh you literally do not have any coverage on procedures until next January. Because you havent had the insurance before. If I knew that I wouldnt have waited for the open market. I would have just. Gotten a plan before that. Its such a shit show. 

It took a while for me to calm down. I was just so drained and upset. 

But I didnt want to lose the whole day. 

James would go out for a long bike ride soon after that. They waited until I was alright before they left. I needed to be alone for a bit though. 

So I cleaned a little. I hung a tapestry. I cleaned the fish tank. I thought about what I will pack for camp. I had snacks. I played video games. I finished making the bed. I changed all the sheets and the took off the velvet duvet cover. I also refolded and sorted out the winter coats and sweaters I shoved under the bed. They are all folded and nice now. 

James would get home before 230. I was laying in bed but once they were washed and dressed again we headed out into the world. 

We walked to the art store. And I got all the new paint I wanted. I got the highlighter colors and a few secondaries I thought would be hard to mix. I am very happy with the colors I got. I may go back to buy some medium. But I am very pleased. 

And it was so nice going out with James. The weather was warm. And It was just a lovely day to be out. We stopped to take pictures with the knock out roses. And I was just really happy. 

Not to long after we got home James got to work making us dinner. And I laid down for a bit. But I never actually slept. Thats alright. I did a little work stuff but tomorrow I will really get into that. 

After dinner I got to work on the painted stool project. I was going to do sprinkles but I decided to do Matiesse inspired shapes instead. I am pretty happy with them!! The highligher/neon colors are a little thin, so I will have to do more layers to cover the sharpie I drew first. I wouldnt have used the sharpies if I knew it would do that. Live and learn. But so far so good. One or two more layers of paint and then I will outline and add texture details using paint markers. But I am very pleased with the project. Next will be the little heart shelf. 

I have been hanging out in bed with sweetP since then. I am very tired. But I am going to go rinse off and put on soft clothes. Tomorrow I am going to do work and art and try to make myself work on store stuff. Because I have been so bad about that. But I have the pictures so I will get it done. 

I hope you all sleep well. Take care of eachother. Goodnight!

[agent-cupcake]

can i ask what kind of person the reader in the story w claude is supposed to be? im pretty sure this was just me misreading stuff but at first i kind of got the image that they're like a competent assassin kind of person (like really unlike how it usually is in reader inserts) but then they were so devoted to claude and in the second part at first i assumed they were like, smart or cunning enough to keep up with yuri at least but then they seemed shy around him and there were also implications that claude manipulated either the reader or the reader and yuri as well but i didn't fully pick up on that and still cant really see it? which btw isnt bcus of the way u wrote it at all, im pretty sure its deadass just me being socially inept but like idk the readers personality to me seems pretty hard to nail down, esp because initially i thought they were maybe just more vulnerable around claude but when yuri showed up later on they also seemed kind of 'weak' around him so i think i might've just gotten a wrong first impression, or was this on purpose? u dont have to answer this ofc if u don't want to!! i think its really just me being kind of dumb but im kinda having a hard time with it lol

No!!! You’re not dumb at all! I will willingly admit that you’re right in saying the reader’s personality is dreadfully inconsistent, that’s on me 100%.. you don’t need to put yourself down to feed my ego, what you’re saying is a totally valid critique!

So now that I’ve so graciously accepted your adorable criticism, I am going to make excuses... Sorry... Anyway, the best one I can muster to explain the inconsistency for that is that I wrote the first part last... January? I think. I was working on it last Christmas. I mentioned it in an ask before, but Alethia was very specifically a one-shot, I had no follow-up plans and honestly, I didn’t even mentally structure any ideas about what could happen afterwards. Generally, that’s how I write because I don’t think even a half step in front of myself. So, because of that, when I was writing Dolos, I didn’t really go in with the intention of writing with the same character because that “character” was never meant to exist outside that particular story, I was using a reactionary stand-in to suit the story I concocted and some vague ideas I had about how what Claude did would have affected her. 

If I wanna start pulling some even cheaper excuses, I can try and say that Claude’s horrible breach of trust made her far more insecure than she would have been beforehand. Trust issues, insecurity, emotionally unstable... Basically, just a lot more vulnerable. He kinda destroyed something she saw as the measure of her self worth and weaponized her loyalty and affection for him, destabilizing two key components of how she defined herself. Yuri’s arrival made it worse because he and Claude are pretty similar. My thought process was that if there was one other person that would have seemed like a threat to her at that moment, it would be Yuri. Both positively and negatively, Yuri represented the flip side of what Claude was to her, so that’s kind of why I played up her nervousness/insecurity/doubt around him? But you’re still right because I don’t really know if that’s how the character from Alethia would have reacted, that’s the character I found interesting for this story. 

As far as the manipulation game, the idea was that Claude also viewed Yuri as the flip side of himself. Or, like, his alternative counterpart. Yuri’s the one who wears eye makeup and listens to alt pop punk music. Their dialogue in the DLC when they’re standing in Abyss together is one of my favorites because they’re both sneaky secretive sneaks who have a weakness for friendship monologues, drawing a pretty easy parallel between them. The reason I retconned that reader had carried a small torch (a match, if you will) for Yuri when they first met, before she and Claude were a Thing, was to set up the dynamic of possible interest. Not so much jealousy, but a precedent that the reader would already have a weakness for Yuri that Claude knew about. The whole situation was convoluted, I know, but basically, Claude was all-in betting on the fact that reader would fall prey to Yuri’s charms only to get fucked up guilt about it because, surprise, surprise, he’s not above weaponizing her emotions against her. You know, again.

Ultimately, I wouldn’t say most of the things I do with insert characters is on purpose, I create a personality to fit within the story I want to write without much interest in how they would exist independently. I will be the first to admit that it’s cheap and kind of lazy, so I’m sorry for confusing you. But... at the same time... I’m probably not going to stop. 

To me, reader insert fanfiction is like the dark rides at Disneyworld. But, like, with more dicks and fewer scary animatronics. 

I hope this cleared things up for you, or at least does a good job explaining why you’re not dumb, I’m just a hack fraud

[finewalls]

i live in finland, im 18 next month and i would really appreciate it if you‘d answer this :) but if you don’t know anything about this it’s fine i can use google myself. my question is: do you think i could get free therapy? i think my family is middle class but im not gonna pay someone 60€ x ? to tell me to just try harder. nothing is seriously wrong; i know i won’t kill myself, i don’t think there is anything drastically (needing medicine) wrong with my brain and i smile/laugh normally (i watch a lot of tv and stuff). still i hold very negative views on the world like +85% of people me included would’ve been “better off” not being born and not waking up tomorrow would be neat. moreover im not doing my school work bc im just too lazy and don’t feel that good panic or stress i used to a couple years ago (i don’t feel a lot of anything) summary: nothing is wrong but i can’t pull myself together. 2nd question: do you think i should even try to get it free when there are people who need it more?

Okay I am here with my reply finally! First of all you sound a lot like I was around your age. I thought I was textbook ‘’okay’’, but since I kinda didn’t think I was doing as bad as some others I was like, I’m gonna be fine. Spoiler alert, it was a slippery slide down.

I am not a professional so do not take my words as facts obviously, but  ‘’i don’t feel a lot of anything’’ sounds a lot like depression to me, and all the not being able to pull yourself together. What helped me realise that I actually indeed have depression (bc I was in denial for a long time) was doing this test. Now even if you get 0 on that test doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid, and you don’t need help or you don’t deserve therapy! I for one always courage people to go talk to someone at least once or twice if possible even if you feel completely fine. Again I cannot diagnose you and I highly recommend getting a professional diagnosis if you see yourself fitting certain traits.  Also you said you don’t think you need medicine and that’s super valid, and even if you ‘’needed’’ it doesn’t mean you have to medicate yourself. Medication isn’t for everyone but therapy is definitely a good ‘’medicine’’.

Now my first suggestion is to visit a school psychologist (if you go to school and have access obviously). From there you can meet a koululääkäri who is qualified to give a diagnosis if that’s needed and can send a lähete to your local mental health centre. My sister is currently waiting to get approved for the free therapy that HUS proved, so I only know that’s how it works here in Uusimaa, but if you live somewhere else I suggest looking into your sairaanhoitopiirin mielenterveyspalvelut. But definitely a good start is school psychologist as they usually have the right resources. In case you know your school has a shitty psychologist (like we did) or maybe you don’t go to school or your school doesn’t provide them well, the best place to start looking for help is here. 

Since you’re still young I would recommend this site to look for what your city provides. And if you live in pk-seutu my friends have used this site as well, as well as an adult you can go through HUS if you live around here. 

So as for free therapy your best place to go is through school psychologist, and some cities provide like 2-5 free therapy visits for young people. But if you feel like not a few therapy sessions are enough, and you feel your mental health going downhill rapidly, I would recommend visiting a doctor. You can just visit your local doctor and tell how you’ve been feeling and they can send a lähete (love that idk the word hfgsdjk) to health care professionals, and from there you can visit a psychiatrist who can give a proper diagnosis if that’s apparent. The reason why I’m suggesting getting a diagnosis is because if you get a proper diagnosis, maybe even start medication if that seems fit, you are eligible for KELAn kuntoutuspsykoterapia. More on that subject you can read here, or just go to KELA’s website for more info on how you can get it. Now therapy through there isn’t free but it’s definitely cheaper than just paying for a private therapist. 

Vaihan suomeen nyt hetkeks, mutta siis julkisen kautta on paras mennä jos haluu halvalla päästä, mutta tunnetusti se on aina hitaampaa ja saattaa joutuu odottaa kauemmin. Niin jos päädyt sitä kautta kattomaan terapiaa kannattaa sen odotus jakson aikana kattoo vaikka keskustelu ryhmiä tai nettiterapiaa. Itte tykkään näistä mielenterveystalon sivuista et siellä on aika paljon hyviä apuja ja neuvoja yms. niin kannattaa niitä selailla. Mutta tosiaan jos nopeasti haluu päästä niinkun prosessin aloittamaan niin yksityinen on todella tehokas, mutta ne sit tosiaan on hintavia vaihtoehtoja. Jos niitä haluut kuitenki tutkia niin Mehiläinen ja Aava on hyvä paikka etsiä nuorisopsykiatreja (ja niiden hintoja jotka tosiaan ei ole pieniä, mut laitan nyt kuitenki esimerkiksi). (Täs viel STM ehdottamat palvelut)

Back to english bc I like to mix things up hjfgsdjkfhasdkl... Just remember no matter how small you think your issues are, they are never too small to ask for help. I was hesitant to first call for help because I thought exactly like you ‘’other’s need it more’’, but remember that you needing help doesn’t take away from others.  You are just as valid, and if you keep thinking ‘’someone has it worse’’ you might find yourself being worse off if you postpone getting help yourself.  You saying ‘’nothing is wrong but i can’t pull myself together’’ doesn’t sound like nothings wrong honey. But again I cannot diagnose you, or tell you what to do, but just know I’ve gone through something very similar and I went and got help and I am in such a better place now. 

Sorry for the extra long answer fdhsalk. Hope I could help you out in someway! Take care of yourself darling ❤❤