#really weird remus loopy lupin

[remusawoooo]

no i love this sm!!

The Marauders fandom really underestimates just how fucking weird Remus has the potential to be, especially during his first few years at Hogwarts. He was an only child, and thanks to his Lycanthropy, he was basically raised in isolation. So already, he's severely lacking in social skills, not to mention the mental effects of isolation on a child. He probably had vivid imaginary friends and spent a large chunk of his time daydreaming and reading to soothe the loneliness.

I imagine his school nickname "Loopy" was well-earned. Just imagine how awkward and strange he would have been, this 11 year old only child who has never interacted with another child in his life and whose only friends were his (arguably ALSO weird/quirky) parents, attending school for the first time?

[enbysiriusblack]

remus would not be one of those people who only listens to underground music and avoids anything mainstream and really loves being unique and an individual and not like anyone else.

that man is the most sheep person ever. he already has enough stuff that sets him apart from his peers, he would not actively be trying to further that! that man wants to fit in so bad and be like everyone else. he'd pretend to like popular bands and films and act like he gives a damn about quidditch.

like, especially as a teenager, remus was so preoccupied with fitting in with the masses but could just never succeed cause he was too gangly and awkward and poor and weird and could never shake off the rumours he was mentally unstable (hence the nickname 'loopy lupin'). which is one of the biggest reasons the marauders was so important to him. because it was the only thing where he fit in and belonged.

[impishtubist]

Several Sentence Sunday #2

Okay so this is more of a ficlet than anything else...I couldn’t get this scene out of my head but I don’t feel like fleshing it out into a full fic, so here, have some Sirius & Harry post-POA cuteness with absolutely no context:

------

“Sirius?”

“What is it, love?”

Love. Sirius did that a lot, Harry was learning. Called people affectionate names--well, called Harry affectionate names. Like love and honey and sweetheart. It was…strange. But nice. Strangely nice. 

“Are you still with me?” Sirius asked softly, his fingers still carding through Harry’s hair. The potions the Healers kept giving him made him drowsy at the worst moments. 

“Mm. Yeah. I was jus’ wondering…” 

“Yes?”

“The Healers keep flirting with you.” 

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I noticed.”

“But you don’t flirt back.” 

“My kid is in the hospital. Do you honestly think I have any interest in flirting right now?” 

My kid. Harry had only been Sirius’s kid for a month, and had only known about his innocence for two. It should feel weird that Sirius called him that…but it didn’t. It had been a long time since something felt so right. 

“Besides,” Sirius went on, quietly, “all of the Healers who have been flirting with me so far have been women.” 

“And?” Harry didn’t get it. Of course they’d been women! Witch Weekly had voted Sirius the most eligible bachelor in wizarding Britain less than two weeks ago. 

“Well,” Sirius said slowly, apparently carefully considering his words, “I’m not particularly interested in being flirted with by women.” 

Harry cracked open an eye and scowled at him. Sirius wasn’t making any sense. “Are you into centaurs or something?” 

Sirius huffed. “No. Well, actually, there was this centaur I met in the Forbidden Forest one time--”

“Sirius!” 

“Harry,” he said gently, “I’m interested in men. Not women.”

Oh. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“You’re sure?”

Sirius seemed to be fighting laughter. “I’m sure.” 

“Huh.” Harry snuggled down further into the blankets and closed his eyes. The bed had been stiff and uncomfortable when he first had been brought here, but then Sirius had cast a series of cushioning and heating charms on it, and now it felt almost as comfortable as Harry’s bed at home. “So you want the men to flirt with you instead.”

“I don’t want anyone flirting with me while they’re supposed to be taking care of you.” 

“But I’m fine.”

“Yes, which is why you’re in the hospital in the first place.” Sirius’s hand moved to his back, rubbing slow circles over his spine. “Try to get some sleep, Haz. You need to rest so those potions can do their work.” 

“You should get a boyfriend.” 

Sirius laughed. “Is that so?”

“I’m going back to school soon,” Harry said reasonably. Merlin, those potions were doing a number on his head. He felt all loopy. Loony. Wait a minute. “You should ask Professor Lupin!” 

“What--you want me to ask Remus to be my boyfriend?” Sirius sputtered. 

“Yeah, so you won’t be alone.” 

He heard Sirius let out a slow breath. “Harry James, have I told you how much I love you?” 

“This morning,” Harry said. He yawned. “An’ last night.” 

He felt Sirius press a kiss to the top of his head. “Go to sleep, love. I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

[unfortunatelysirius]

My Cauldron’s Bubbling For You // Remus Lupin x Slytherin! Reader

「 ❁ 」PROMPT 「 ❁ 」 

Y/N L/N loves pranking and she loves flirting. The two go hand in hand. When she starts flirting with Remus… he fears for his life. 

「 ❁ 」AUTHOR’S NOTE 「 ❁ 」

wowowowow I'm on a role huh??? :o 

Remus wasn’t sure when exactly it started.

        From first year to fifth year, Y/N L/N was just a bold, self-assured Slytherin girl who barely gave him or anyone else the time of day. Remus thought she was pretty and sure, admired her confidence, but she wasn’t really part of the crowd he hung around. She had her own—a group of girls from all the houses who liked to joke around and play tricks. Several of Y/N’s friends were flirty and had a tendency to flirt with their victims right before they came in for the kill. Sirius was no exception; he foolishly let them reel him in, then he was left speechless when he charmed to make gas noises anytime he sat down.

        Remus always found it funny when the girls did what they did to innocent blokes. He would have been mad not to. They made it clear what they were up to, but raging hormones surely enticed their victims enough that they didn’t pay clear attention. Boys all around him, boys in different houses, would be charmed into a false sense of safety only for it to shatter the next day. After a while he began wondering when his turn was, but he found that to be too presumptuous of a thought. He settled for watching his peers flounder and thinking nothing of it.

        Then one day in sixth year, Y/N L/N came up to Remus in Potions, leaned in close to his ear, and whispered, “I think it’s sexy, watching you write your notes like that.”

        Remus had blushed furiously and looked down at his parchment. His notes could have been likened to columns, the way they so neatly went across the page. His scrawl was slow, meticulous, and tiny, the best of his friend group. “O-Oh… thank you?” Remus didn’t want to fall for her charm, as much as he liked her. Maybe he wanted to be Y/N’s victim eons ago, but that was eons ago for a reason; the thought secretly terrified him.

        “It’s perfect,” Y/N purred, leaning away from Remus to smile beguilingly in his face. “But that’s to be expected with Remus Lupin, isn’t it? He is perfect.”

        Remus tried not to choke, hearing his heart beating loudly behind his ear drums. He didn’t know how to respond so he just stayed silent. His face was beginning to burn.

        Y/N raised her brows, her smile widening at the sight of Remus’s ablaze cheeks. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret safe so the girls don’t go into a frenzy,” she mock-whispered. “I want you all to myself.”

        She walked to her seat without another word.

        “What—” Sirius whipped around in his seat—like he hadn’t just eavesdropped on their entire conversation—and gaped at Remus. “Mate!”

        “Don’t,” Remus croaked, burying his head into his parchment, feeling doomed.

        Maybe that’s when it all started. Yeah, that’s when it all started.

       Remus stayed alert all day, thinking her flirtations were all fun and games, but when a prank never happened….

       Well, Remus couldn’t help but wonder why.

-

        “Hi, Remus,” said Y/N, waving a hand at him and grinning wolfishly when he ducked his head in a blush. “You look good in red!”

        He was wearing a red Gryffindor Quidditch jumper to show nonexistent spirit for the upcoming game with Hufflepuff.

        “T-Thanks, Y/N,” Remus said, feeling Sirius and James’s equally wolfish grins behind him, Peter’s subdued excitement just as much of an annoyance. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Wouldn’t that just be great?

        “I’ll see you at the game,” Y/N said, giving him a wink before she went in the opposite direction of the boys, two of her Ravenclaw friends following like ducklings. Giggling ducklings.

        Remus felt feverishly warm. Maybe it was from Y/N’s advances or a fever itself; either way, the game didn’t feel like such a good idea anymore. He turned to look at his friends.

        “It’s been three weeks, Remus,” Sirius said, looking over at James and Peter. They shared the same incredulous face. “Why hasn’t she pranked you? They never do this.”

        “I don’t know…” Remus shrugged helplessly. It wasn’t like he talked to her any more than his friends did; he was just as clueless, if not more. “Maybe it’s her biggest and takes longer than a few weeks to plan.”

        James rolled his eyes, but there was a grin tugging at his mouth. “Or… maybe she like-likes you.”

        Don’t be ridiculous, Remus felt like saying. How could Y/N like someone like him? He was quiet and awkward and he wasn’t very funny. Not witty like her, or as confident.  She was a beautiful thunderstorm and he was barely a raincloud.

        “I know that look, mate,” Sirius said, waggling a finger. “She has to bloody like you; she never sticks this long to one victim.”

        “She had this schoolgirl look on her face,” James continued.

        “Yeah, Moony—she made an effort to say, ‘Hi,’ to you, too! That has to mean something,” Peter chimed in.

        Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head, refusing to let his friends implant this stupid idea in his head—or else he’d start thinking and then he’d start hoping. “No,” he growled.

        He walked off to a sour serenade of James and Sirius making kissy sounds.

-

      �� “Remus, you’re not a Pureblood, are you?” Y/N asked him once during Potions class. She sat right behind him, always leaning into his nape and saying things that made him blush for the rest of the period. He sometimes wanted to up and move, but after he got used to her incongruous flirting, he began feeling comfortable. Soon after he began liking it.

        Remus felt uneasy by the question, but he didn’t see any logic in lying. “I’m a Half-blood,” he said.

        He could almost feel her smiling behind him. “Good, good… well, I wish this were science class so you could see the chemistry between you and me.”

        Remus now saw why she asked him about his blood.

        “I always have my eye on you,” Y/N continued, getting closer until her lips were a breath away from his ear. “Makes for a… distraction, if I’m honest. Can’t say I’m disappointed.”

        Remus lurched forward, away from her, getting a strange look from the Ravenclaw girl a few seats away from him. He heard Y/N chuckling behind him.

        “Cute,” she muttered to herself.

        Remus didn’t stop blushing until he passed out from exhaustion later that night.

-

        “You steal my heart every time I see you,” she said in his ear the next time she saw him.

-

        She walked by him when he was sitting with his friends in the Great Hall and told him he had a beautiful smile the day after that.

-

        “I didn’t believe in love at sixth year until I saw you at the Sorting,” she said randomly one day in Potions.

-

        “Do you feel yourself falling in love or should I give you a push in that direction?”

-

        “I bet you’d make for a great cauldron to brew Amortentia in.”

-

        Eventually Remus started smiling at her flirtations and instead of just blushing and feeling embarrassed, he felt warm instead, like her words were hugging his insides. He wished he was like Sirius and could flirt back, but he wasn’t anything like Sirius. He was too awkward and anxious for that. He just sat and said, “Thank you,” and looked forward to what she’d say the next day.

        Remus knew her pulling a prank on him was long overdue.

-

        “You have a crush on her,” James declared.

        “You look all sappy and loopy, mate,” Sirius said in agreement, twisting his head this way and that as he analyzed his friend.

        Remus didn’t feel very sappy or loopy, and he was already disappointed enough in himself, so their words did nothing but irk him. He frowned and said, “I don’t fancy her.”

        Liar.

        James smirked. “Oh, really? Looks like Alex Green is over there flirting with her now—”

        “Wait, what?” Remus snapped his head over to the Slytherin table. Instead of what James painted in Remus’s head, he saw Y/N sitting with one of her friends, smiling and laughing. “Oh.”

        James snickered and Sirius roughly patted Remus’s shoulder. Peter would have taken the piss out of him, too, if he were there—but he was fortunately holed up in the dorm doing Potions coursework.

        Yeah, if the ground could open him and swallow him, Remus wouldn’t complain.

-

        Professor Slughorn was sick and unable to hold class, so Remus was sat outside the classroom door, working on an essay for Transfiguration. He would have just walked up to his dorm instead of sitting in the dust, but the corridor was empty and silent. A contrast to his boisterous dormmates who didn’t know the definition of settling down.

        Remus didn’t mean that. He loved his friends. They could just be too much at times.

Like the past month, for instance.

Remus had sat and been furiously scribbling out paragraph after paragraph, using his wand as a makeshift lantern in the darkness, when he felt something his leg. He jerked and fumbled for his wand, quickly flashing the light over on his other side.

He felt like booking it when it was Y/N’s embarrassed—Embarrassed? What?—face his wand came inches from prodding.

        “Oh—I’m sorry!” Remus quickly jerked his arm back. “Sorry… um… Y/N.”

        Y/N smiled, but it looked unusual on her face. It had a different look to it, almost embarrassed. Remus felt like taking his fingers and drawing her skin up into a grin, and he usually didn’t feel like touching another person. She just looked weird with her eyes dim like that, a weird that he didn’t like.

        “It’s okay,” she said. “I just came to say something. I looked for you in the Great Hall, even asked your friends where you were, but you weren’t anywhere, so… It was this or your dorm.”

        Remus felt puzzled. Why had she gone through so much trouble looking for him? Whatever she had to say was important; it had to be, all things considered.

        “I fancy the pants off you,” she said, words all jumbled from how fast she spoke. “Like,really fancy—but I don’t want your pants off. I don’t know how to like someone without flirting with them and I know you’re nothing like that, I do, but I’m a twat. I realized after my mates pointed it out earlier, I’ve been entirely too forward with you. You’re just so cute and quiet and I just don’t know how else to like you—”

        Remus, awkward Remus, backwards Remus, didn’t know how to say words without messing them up, and he knew he’d probably just sit there and stare at her until she got frustrated and left, so he did all he could think to do in that moment.

        He closed the space between them, kissing her as clumsily as a six-year-old would his recess crush.

        Merlin, what am I doing?

        Merlin, what have I done?

        Her lips were chapped, Remus’s were too, but that didn’t stop from Y/N’s words dying in her mouth and the two of them sharing a short-lived smooch.

        Remus pulled back as fast as he lurched forward.

        Why did I do that?

        Y/N was staring at him with a reddened face. Remus didn’t know at all what to say.

        He ended up saying, “I fancy you, too.”

        Y/N had regained her bravado, it seemed, because she let out a small laugh, telling him, “That’s a relief, Remmy… I’d hate to have to play a prank on you.”

        Remus flushed and smiled at her, taking longer than he felt comfortable admitting to catch on that she was teasing him.

        They held hands for a while. She even stole a kiss while he was concentrating hard on his parchment.

        Remus felt strangely light.

Bonus:

        James and Sirius threw a dorm party that night for Remus’s lip virginity getting taken.

        “Now you’re ready for third base!” Sirius cheered for him.

        Remus tried smothering himself with a pillow, swatting at his dormmate’s hands when he tried tearing him away from his bed. “Dear Merlin, Sirius, leave me alone!” he cried.

        Sirius didn’t leave Remus alone.

[twoidiotwriters1]

June, 1976 (WITT One-Shot)

A/N: If you want to remain in the taglist pls interact with this one-shot even if you haven’t read book 4-5 yet. A like or a comment is fine, the people who don’t want to continue reading obvsly do not interact and I’ll delete from the taglist :) -Danny

Words: 2,590

Series’ Masterlist

Emily was tired, but she'd spent all day overthinking and she was done, it was time to grow up.

She could hear Lily Evans' voice ushering Severus Snape away, he'd been coming around for several hours during the day trying to apologize, but he'd finally crossed a line.

"It's not your fault, you know?"

Matthew's voice caught her attention, he'd stopped at the foot of the stairs, one hand propped on the wall.

"Snape and Evans have been fighting for months now, I think it's because of what he's been doing with the Slytherins... you know, the cult stuff."

Emily averted her gaze to the fireplace.

"I know..."

Matthew hesitated, he'd promised himself that he wouldn't go back to being Emily's therapist, but something was different this time, it wasn't her usual kind of sulking.

"Are you okay?"

She looked at him over her shoulder and frowned.

"I'm not the one who got called 'mudblood' by a close friend."

"No, you weren't," He admitted. "Which is why it's so strange to see you all sad."

"I'm not sad."

"Is this about James?"

He didn't want to know, but alas, he'd asked.

"No," She made a face. "I don't think I care about him that way anymore."

"It's easier said than done," Matthew crossed his arms, his shoulder now leaning on the archway of the stairs.

"What do you want, Ruddy?" Emily groaned.

"I don't want anything from you," The boy replied. "But I have the feeling that you need to talk."

"I do," She said. "Not with you, though."

Matt nodded, he sighed.

"Good luck, then, have a good night."

"'Night."

Emily watched him disappear up the stairs, she didn't know why, but the memory of his burning gaze before he kissed her came back then, his intense determination as he held her closer... That moment Emily had found herself unable to move away, to say no. She wished she had his courage to just do stuff even when he was intimidated by them, she needed that kind of bravery tonight.

Lily Evans entered the tower two minutes later, Emily stood up abruptly and the redhead came to a halt.

For a moment none of them spoke, then Lily's face showed tons of fatigue.

"What now? Is it your turn to call me a stuck-up bore because I didn't agree to go out with Potter?"

Emily shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"Can we talk?" She asked shyly. "I promise it's not a trick... I'm sorry."

Emily's behaviour towards her was usually hostile, tonight her voice was gentle, and even a little afraid.

"You're sorry?"

"I don't expect you to believe me," Emily continued, lowering her gaze. "I know you and Snape were close — I don't understand how can you like him... listen I suck at apologies, can't you just say it's alright so we can go to bed?"

Lily crossed her arms, standing straighter.

"No, I think I want you to try harder."

Emily groaned, she sat down heavily and started to think her words carefully, Lily inched closer.

"Boys can be cruel when they're not thinking — Anyone, really... I've been brutal myself — Matthew and I almost stopped being friends a few months ago, because I don't like talking about my feelings," She laughed dryly. "I don't know what is it about today that it just... I don't want to be a tormentor my whole life, let alone to someone who is... tolerable. I'm sorry for making your life a living hell these past few years."

Lily sat down, although she kept the seat between them empty to keep some distance.

"You didn't make my life a living hell," She replied. "I... can admit you're a bit clever... even likeable — that last match when you threw Lewis a bludger after he called you a midget... it was kind of funny."

"The boys walked me everywhere that week, they thought Ernest was going to try and get back at me," Emily bit her lip, but she was now smiling. "I mean, I lived in fear for days! Thinking he would spike my drink at some point with poison or something... Until Matthew cornered him outside D.A.D.A. class one day, poor Lewis... he looked so small in comparison..."

"Anyone looks small next to Matthew, he's a giant," Lily grinned. "Well, if it's any consolation, I was planning on murdering you in a much classier manner than poison, but since you've apologized, I guess I won't have to kill you after all."

Emily snorted, her eyes lingered on Lily, who looked like she'd been crying for most of the day, and yet still had enough energy to sit down and talk with the girl she'd detested for the last four years.

"Why are you being nice?" She asked in annoyance. "I mean I'm glad you're kind of accepting my apology, but I thought you'd be a bit colder, walking away before I could even finish..."

"What kind of person do you think I am?" Lily raised a brow, with the orange light coming from the fireplace her green eyes looked far more intense than usual. "If I'm honest, you should thank Remus... he's tried to convince me that you lot are far better than you look..."

Emily sighed, when she was young she'd do mischief for fun, but now that she was older, and considering all the weird stuff that was happening outside the school, she was starting to think that maybe her group of friends were indeed changing for the best.

"I'm going to be honest with you too, Evans," The girl took a deep breath. "Being the only girl in my friend group is turning out to be pure torture. I'm in desperate need of a girlfriend."

Lily's mouth twitched a bit, but she didn't laugh.

"What makes you think I want to be your friend?"

"Oh, I don't think you want to," She raised a brow. "But maybe if we're on good terms I'd be able to ask you for a tampon without having to swallow my pride first."

Lily did laugh at this, she shook her head. "Holy Merlin, Sultens, you're loopy."

"You would be too if you were seated next to Sirius every day!" She paused. "So... are you willing to make peace?"

Lily examined her carefully, four long years of quarrels sat between them, but a lifetime of friendship could be ahead if Emily was truly sorry. She was a nice girl, and really smart too, she was annoying only when she was taunting Severus, and he was no longer her friend.

Lily stretched out her hand.

"Very well, but if you go back the deal is over and we'll be less than strangers, understood?"

"Sure."

She retreated her hand before Emily could grab it.

"Hang on — this is not Potter's idea, right? You're not trying to be my friend just so I date him later?"

"Lily, if anything I hope you and James never date," Emily snickered. "Nothing personal, you're just way too good for him."

"...Alright."

They shook hands, she'd meant what she said about it not being personal. James was a boy, a very silly one at that, and even though they were really close friends, Emily was no longer a blind supporter of his doings.

Funnily enough, this seemed to be related to Matthew, she couldn't stop thinking about that kiss! Merlin, he was a good kisser...

She shook the thought away, now was not the time for nonsense.

"I'm very honoured to be your acquaintance, Evans," Emily grinned.

"Call me Lily. Only Professors call me Evans... and Potter, but you know I hate that."

"Got it, Lils."

July 1996

"...I don't think this is right," Mel tilted her head. "Brownies are mean to be brown... not pitch-black."

"You burned them," Harry was standing behind them with his arms crossed, clearly upset.

"How could you burn them, Erick? They were in there for five minutes!"

"Are you sure..." Erick stabbed the mixture with a knife and made a face. "Ugh — they're still liquid in the middle!"

"How the fuck did you do this?"

"I thought it would work just the same if I doubled the heat and put less time," Erick sulked. "Ovens are weird."

"This is why we told you to stay out of it," Harry replied. "You don't know how muggle stuff work."

"I do know!"

"Then why did you burn the brownies?"

"Don't fight," Mel intervened, grabbing the platter and throwing its contents away. "Oh well, at least we ruined my birthday cake and not someone else's..."

"That's not okay," Harry frowned. "You should have a proper cake."

Mel looked at him and grinned. "I'll eat yours, then."

"How's everything going in here?" Emily walked in, behind her Lupin followed.

"Uncle Lu!" Mel rushed over to his side and hugged him, the man chuckled. "You came!"

"Well, hadn't been around for your birthday in a long time, I thought you'd like it," He said, lovingly patting her back.

"I do," She beamed. "We kind of ruined the cake, though, so we should buy doughnuts or something."

"It's a good thing I brought this, then," Lupin lifted his bag and placed it on the table, inside there was a beautifully adorned red velvet cake.

"You just saved my birthday!"

Harry and Erick shared a moody expression and grumbled complaints, Lupin laughed.

"The kids insisted on doing the cakes this year," Emily explained. "I told them it was not an easy job, but they insisted."

"Mel and I have done this before, Erick was the one who wanted to be in charge when he can't even make tea without magic," Harry glared at him.

"Muggles stuff are too complicated, alright?" He huffed.

"I don't mind," Mel said without paying attention to them, she was still beyond happy with her uncle's presence. "I wanted to give my mum a break, Leggie's been a bit hard to handle lately..."

"Is he?" Lupin looked at the little boy Emily was holding. "Is he ill?"

"No, he just cries a lot," The woman sighed. "Wakes us up every night."

"I thought that forcing my mother to bake when she's clearly too tired to be doing anything apart from feeding a baby was a crime," Mel stated. "So I took care of it."

"Then Flint messed it up," Harry taunted.

"And then you fixed it, Uncle Moony," The girl smiled. "So there's no harm done, right boys?"

She looked over her shoulder, raising a brow as if urging them to stop bickering before they embarrassed her in front of Lupin. Both mumbled their agreement, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Lovely," Mel looked back at the adults. "Who wants lunch?"

Mel and Erick were in the kitchen talking in hurried whispers, she appeared to be upset, the young man too. Emily and Remus were in the drawing-room, Harry was upstairs changing Reg's diaper.

"Do you know why they're arguing?" Remus asked, staring at the pair.

"Dumbledore came by this morning before breakfast," Emily sighed, leaning her head back on the couch. "Talked about this mission he had for Erick — you know how eager to help that boy is... so of course the old man came and put his offer on a silver platter, and Mel won't let Erick go on his own, so being the generous soul Dumbledore is," She said sarcastically, "He said she could go too if she wanted to."

"Really?" Remus frowned. "Well... he's been giving her lessons for years, Mily, perhaps he knows she can handle it."

"I don't care," She said bluntly. "That's my daughter, my daughter. Matt's daughter. How can he continue to risk my family's life like it's nothing?"

"You know Matthew did all he that because he wanted to, Dumbledore had nothing to do with his decisions."

"I know," Emily took a deep breath. "But he's got a lot to do with Mel's... she idolizes him."

"You think so?" The man looked over his shoulder again, staring at his goddaughter.

"I don't see why else she'd be so keen to follow his orders..."

"Maybe because she feels guilty?" Remus offered. "After what happened in the ministry..."

Emily pressed her lips together, she didn't want to talk about that.

"That's not her fault and she knows it. I told her it wasn't."

"You weren't there," He said gravely. "She went out of control. I had never seen anything like it, her magic was dark— I mean that literally. All the spells she did came out pitch-black. Dumbledore was the only one who could put a stop to it."

Emily's eyes grew worried, she looked over her shoulder as well and her gaze landed on Mel.

"You think it could be the same thing that Ariana Dumbledore had? That disease?"

"No one knows what happened to her," Remus said. "Not even Matthew knew, and he was part of the family... but it could be. Maybe Dumbledore knows something we don't, maybe this will help her... perhaps she needs this."

Emily stayed silent for a moment, then she groaned.

"I hate that we're always meant to trust him blindly."

"He's lived a hundred years, he might be wiser than all of us, don't you think?"

The woman scoffed, she looked ahead, deep in thought.

"A hundred years... Matthew couldn't even make it to twenty-one! James and Lily barely did... Sirius spent twelve years in Azkaban — But at least we all knew how the war looked like then, Remus. We fought for years... my daughter just turned sixteen, she still goes to school!"

"And yet she's already done her fair amount of fighting," The man raised a brow. "We didn't have the experiences she's gone through when we were her age. I stand with Dumbledore, she can do this."

"I'm not saying she can't," Emily grabbed the empty plates to take them to the kitchen. "I'm saying she shouldn't have to sacrifice her youth. Dumbledore asks for too much, I'm sure he's got someone else that could help him with the mission, but he's obsessed with making Mel his perfect copy."

Remus didn't try to argue back, little could convince Emily at this point, she'd never been a fan of Dumbledore, and after Matt's death it was no secret that she openly disliked him, but she still followed his orders, because she knew Dumbledore was the only chance they had to win this war.

Mel and Erick entered the room, neither of them angry, which made Remus think they had reached an agreement.

"I should leave," The man stood up. "Leon's been quiet, maybe Harry managed to make him sleep."

"Or maybe he's just playing with him," Emily stood up as well. "Really, I never thought Harry would get so attached to a baby..."

"I'll miss you, Uncle Lu, I hope to see you soon," Mel said, her eyes avoiding to look into Erick's direction.

"Me too, little Em," Remus hugged her tightly, he whispered in her ear. "Be good to your mother, alright?"

Mel looked at him with confusion, but she nodded anyway.

"So?" Emily crossed her arms. "What are you going to do?"

The young witch stared at her mother, Remus knew that expression. It was true and very strange, how she could have her dad's gaze even though her eyes were exactly like her mother's, but he knew that look, he'd seen it in Matt the last time they had spoken. Mel was done being a kid.

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @wlwmaximoff @reverse-hxlland @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee​ @thelastpyle @hamiltonwc

[vanillann]

Overrated (Remus LupinX f.Reader)

WARNING-mention of sex and this kinda my favorite work so please be nice :)

part 2

It wasn’t a surprise to see a new boy trailing after the girl.

A new boy always ended up in her bed and she always woke up asking them to get out. They always wanted more, they always wanted feelings, but she told them the same thing every time.

“Feelings are for people who want temporary people, I don’t do temporary because temporary is overrated.”

So they followed her around, trying to prove in a way they weren’t temporary, but they all knew deep down inside that they couldn’t keep doing this.

After walking into the Great Hall, the tall boy was still hot on her tail.

“Please I want a chance,” the boy had his hands clasp together, begging her to break her walls.

“I said no down the last hall and this hall is going to be the same answer.” she looked the boy dead in the eye.

She had to admit, he had nice eyes but they didn’t show nothing but lust. She turned around and walked to where her friends sat, the opposite the table of her house, Ravenclaw.

Marlene was chewing on some weird fruit, going on about some new flavor of gum she found at the shops. Her blonde hair was straight, something usual since she always had large loopy curls. Lily sat on the other side of the table, her normally long hair was styled up in a fancy braid.

“(Y/N) just the girl we needed to see.” Marlene jumped in her seat slightly.

She noticed their choice of outfits. Lily wore a skirt which was very new and Marlene had on a button up yellow blouse. She couldn’t understand why her best friends were so dressed up for this Hogmade trip, considering they were all just walking around together.

“What’s up with the fancy outfits?” Both girls looked up at her, guilt in their eyes.

“Us three have a date?” Lily words caught her offguard.

“What-“ Marlene cut her off.

“Okay so Sirius and I decided to take the flirting to another level and try out a date but only if Lily went with James,” Marlene drew the picture in the air with her hands.

“I don’t understand you said three-“ Lily cut her off this time.

“Well you see then they felt bad that Remus wouldn’t have anything to do at Hogmade so we invited him and told them you would come and be his date,” Lily looked up at the hard face of (Y/N).

For the first time in a long time, (Y/N) wished she sat at Ravenclaw table.

(Y/N) (L/N) and Remus Lupin weren’t two peas in a pod.

Remus was the kind boy would always had a book in hand and could always give you a large sweater when needed. He made top grades with Lily and could have the answer. He was in a very serious relationship with a girl for a few months til they suddenly broke up, a rumor heard that she found someone “better”.

(Y/N) was the girl you didn’t touch with a ten foot pole. She was a Ravenclaw sure but she never enjoyed being around smart people. She drank on the weekend and slept with boys like eating candy. She wouldn’t read a book in her life but she did make good grades. She never had been the one for “love”, she always said it was overrated game.

So no, (Y/N) and Remus wouldn’t be seen on a date together no matter what.

None of that matter now, as Lily, Marlene, ans (Y/N) walked into the Three Broomstick.

James yelled Lily’s name throughout three pub, causing many people to look over at the group.

Marlene hurry over to the table, going up to hug Sirius from behind. Lily gracefully walked over to James, giving him a light smile. When she look at the site, Remus wasn’t to be seen.

“He had to pick up something from the bookshop, he will be here soon.” James said as soon as he saw (Y/N) walking over.

James and Sirius were scared to say the least. They knew of the Ravenclaw girl lifestyle, considering many boys in their house experience the problem of wanting her. They didn’t want there pure friend to get caught up in it all, but they also couldn’t judge the girl without knowing her.

“We are so glad you could join us (L/N), we didn’t want our boy Remus to be alone.” Sirius couldn’t tell them that the full moon was last night and he hates being alone after a transformation.

“No problem really, you know what my plans would be if I wasn’t here,” Lily and Marlene looked at the girl, telling her not to say things along this line.

Soon the bell above the door rang, a loud puff was heard.

“Hey guys,” Remus took about two large steps and were already at the group.

(Y/N) had never been this close to Remus before, she didn’t think they had even ran into each other in the halls.

“Hi.” Her voice came out cold, the ice from her eyes made Remus shiver.

“Hello (Y/N).” It was odd for her not being called some pet name. She nodded her head at him and move to sit on one of the hard oak chairs.

Remus day across from her, a small book being placed on the table beside him.

She was about to make conversation with Lily but saw that her and Marlene were deep in conversation with James ans Sirius. She decided to try and not be awkward with her date here.

“What book is that?” She didn’t read, but she always enjoyed listening to people read and hearing other story.

“It’s a muggle book, ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’.” he picked up the book showing her the cover. It had a large tree across the front and a small bird.

“I’ve never heard of it, is it any good?” For the first time in years, she really wanted to know.

“I haven’t read it yet but I heard so many greats things about it, do you like to read?” Remus always liked girls who read like he did.

“No I don’t like looking at a large set of words for long, but I loved listening to others read.” She saw the way his face dropped.

She finally took in his face. He had a small scar on his chin, you probably couldn’t noticed unless he moved his head right. He also kept moving a small piece of hair out of his eyes. His eyes, (Y/N) always thought eyes were people’s best trait.

“So if you don’t read, how do you get such high grades?” His question caused her to look away for a second.

“I don’t really know, I just always seem to pass without really trying,” (Y/N) realized she sounded stupid.

“Must be nice, I stay up in the common room ever night studying,” Remus gave her a nice light laugh with the words.

“Alone?” She couldn’t help but be a shocked. She always had a thing about being physical alone. Emotionally she never needed anyone, but physically she had to always have someone around.

“Of course, it’s easier that way.”

“Yeah I guess a lot of things are easier when you are alone.” She didn’t mean to say it out loud but she couldn’t just pick the words up and put them back in her mouth.

“Well maybe studying but being alone isn’t exactly my first choice.”

Remus didn’t like being alone, at all. After the three boys started coming with him on full moon nights, he stopped thinking he had to be alone.

Suddenly a man came by the table with a large plate of Butterbeers. He place them down at the end of the table and walked off.

“Perfect, pass them around.”

James grabbed two and passed them to the end of the table. Remus grabbed them and handed them to me.

“You got to love a fresh Butterbeer,” Remus loved Butterbeer with chocolate on the side, bu Remus loved anything with chocolate.

“I couldn’t tell you,” (Y/N) looked at the foam on the drink, this was all new to her.

“Wait, you’ve never had a Butterbeer?”

Remus had never been so shocked in his life. Surely everyone at Hogwarts has had a Butterbeer before, or at least he thought.

“No, I don’t come here very often.” She wasn’t lying, she mostly stayed at the castle and found something to stop the boredom.

“Well go on, take a sip.” She liked the way Remus was watching her look at the drink. He looked genuine, there wasn’t anything to gain from the situation except memories.

(Y/N) picked up the large hot glass and placed it to her lips. The liquid was quick to go down her throat and she felt the bang in her chest. She didn’t know why she didn’t try this sooner.

“You know Lupin, for a boy who reads a lot you have great taste.” (Y/N) looked up at Remus with a smile and a foam mustache.

Remus almost fainted. He didn’t think he would have seen her smile, but god he was glad she did. She looked like Remus did when he was at the best part of his books. The mustache made it even better, she looked like a kid and not a mad teen girl. It made Remus feel special because he knew no one saw this side of her.

“Here.” Remus moves his long aren’t over the table, placing his tumb on the foam and removing it.

(Y/N) has been touched by guy after guy in much closer places, but this comforted her. It was a simple touch but it made her smile because it wasn’t lustful, it was just sweet .

Lily, Marlene, and (Y/N) all made their way back to the train once the dates were over. Marlene spoke how Sirius held her hand under the table and whispered in her ear while Lily tried to say that James didn’t make her blush when it told her “no flower could ever live up to you”.

“So (Y/N), did you have fun on your first official date with someone,” Lily wrapped her arm around the girls shoulder.

(Y/N) hasn’t even thought about the fact that this would be the first time she was ever with a guy in public.

“It was simple.”

Marlene ans Lily have each other a look, this didn’t seem like a good way to start

“I liked the simple” Lily stopped in her tracks. She couldn’t believe her ears.

“You enjoyed it?” Marlene had to hear it again. Was this a cruel joke?

“Yeah, I mean don’t get me wrong this kid needs to live sometimes but he didn’t just want something out of me, he just wanted me.”

(Y/N) wasn’t used to that. She wasn’t used to people really asking her the question he asked. They always wanted to know the stuff they could hold against her, but he just wanted to know her favorite color and why she never put her hair up anymore like she did in 3rd year.

It made her feel like being emotional with someone wasn’t so overrated.

[midnighttmarauder]

Masterlist

Masterlist will be updated every month! Gif is not mine, credits go to the owner!

Marauders Era 

All Marauders

The Final Countdown Reader isn’t happy that it’s her last day at Hogwarts. The Marauders decide to sing The Final Countdown to cheer her up.

Concert Reader, Lily, and the Marauders sneak out to go to a Weird Sisters concert.

Bully: Part 1 // Part 2 Reader gets bullied, so the Marauders come in to help her.

Nox Terrorem Reader has nightmares every night, and can usually handle them. However, one night, she just can't handle it alone. 

Loopy Reader gets injured at quidditch practice. The potion that Madam Pomfrey gives reader makes her a little loopy. 

Sirius Black

Smile Sirius has a beautiful smile, but when he gets a letter from home, it disappears. Based on the prompt: “I’ve never seen a smile die so fast”.

Deaf Sirius doesn’t know that reader is deaf, and with James’ help, tries to ask her on a date.

Home Reader and Sirius move into their new home.

Runaway Sirius runs away during the Christmas holidays and goes to reader’s house for comfort.

Fever Sirius takes care of a sick reader.

Beautiful Sirius cheers reader up when she is feeling less than beautiful.

Daring Reader finally grows a pair and tells Sirius that she likes him.

Betrothed Sirius and reader are both being forced into arranged marriages. It might not be as bad as they originally thought.

Nah, She Didn’t Reader, Sirius, and Remus tell Harry about his parents and reminisce about their days at Hogwarts.

Love Sirius loves the reader, but she doesn’t love him in the same way.

Piano Reader plays the piano, and Sirius falls in love with the way she plays. He eventually teaches himself how to play a few simple songs for her birthday.

Cupcakes Reader makes cupcakes for Sirius on Valentine’s Day.

Baby Reader wakes to an empty bed and an unusually quiet baby.

Sleepover The Marauders are forced to sleep in reader’s dorm because somebody dropped a bag of Dungbombs in their own. When the heat isn’t working, reader and Sirius share a blanket.

Slytherin Reader is a Slytherin and is dating Lucius. When he accuses her of cheating, Sirius steps in.

Just Like Your Father (Daughter!Reader) Reader is a mini Sirius, and it drives McGonagall crazy.

My Best Friend’s Brother Reader is forced to make a decision when she discovers that both Black brothers are in love with her.

Not Having It Reader is James’ twin sister, and he is not having it with her relationship with Sirius.

Walkman Sirius steals reader’s Walkman, and she catches him dancing to her favourite Prince song.

Wheelchair Reader is in a wheelchair and thinks no one will love her because of her disability. Sirius proves her wrong. 

Touchy: Part 1 // Part 2 Reader is only touchy with a very few select people. What happens when Sirius becomes one of those people?

Makeup Sirius is already in love with reader, but when he sees her without makeup, he falls head over heels.

Red Dress Based on the song Red Dress by MAGIC!

Summer Love Sirius stays with reader over the summer holidays instead of going back home.

Insufferable Reader thinks Sirius is childish, and he thinks that she’s stuck up. After being paired up in potions class, they find that they don’t hate each other as much as they thought.

St. Mungo’s Reader and Sirius grew up together, so when she gets sick and is sent to St.Mungo’s, he loses his mind.

Daughter Sirius returns from Azkaban and discovers that he and reader have a daughter that looks just like her mother.

Reckless Sirius and reader are part of the Order, and he has just realized his feelings for her. Not knowing how to interpret/act on them, he begins to act reckless and compromises their mission. Once back to safety, reader lays into him for his stupidity. 

Merry Christmas Reader spends Christmas holidays with the Marauders at the Potter’s home.

Wildcard (Daughter!Reader) Reader is Sirius’ daughter and was raised by his parents. They think that she is a “perfect pureblood”, but when Sirius escapes from Azkaban and finally meets her, everybody discovers that she is a rebel just like her father.

Photographs Sirius is showing Harry some of the Marauders’ old photographs when they come across one with the reader in it. She was Sirius’ girlfriend, and he has a flashback to the night she died.

Cheap Thrills Sirius takes reader on a fancy date, not knowing that she prefers just chatting over a butterbeer. 

Light and Dark Reader shows Sirius that everyone has both light and dark inside them. Loosely based on the song Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. 

Nightmares Reader always sleeps next to Sirius to keep his nightmares away. One morning, he decides to tell her how special she is to him.

Can’t Help Falling in Love Sirius cheers reader up by singing Can’t Help Falling in Love.

Too Far Sirius and reader just can’t seem to get along. When Sirius crosses a line during a heated argument, it’s up to James and Remus to come to the rescue. 

Pregnant Reader finds out that she is pregnant shortly after graduating.

Drunk Secrets (Drabble) Sirius might be drunk, but he's not quite sure. Based on the prompts: “I said I had an idea. I never said it was a good one.” and “I think I might be drunk, but I’m not sure I’d know either way.”

I Don't Like You (Drabble) Reader and Sirius argue and reader says that they hate him. Based on the prompts: “Would it kill you to knock?” and “I don’t like you...I love you.”

Meet Me (Drabble) Based on the prompt: When parting, Characters agreed to meet at a certain place at a certain time in a certain number of years.

Panic Reader has a panic attack and Sirius helps her feel better.

Oblivious: Part 1 // Part 2 Sirius and reader are childhood friends who grew up with the same kind of parents. Reader is in love with Sirius, but he’s oblivious to their feelings and flirts with other girls. When reader gives up and moves on, Sirius realizes his feelings. 

O Tannenbaum  Reader teaches Sirius how to decorate a Christmas tree the muggle way. 

Overworked Reader and Sirius get into an argument because reader has been working themselves into the ground and neglecting their boyfriend. 

Compromised (Potter!Reader) Reader gets kidnapped while on an undercover mission, and Sirius will stop at nothing to get her back. 

The Muggle Side Snippets of muggleborn reader showing Sirius the highlights of their muggle side: math homework, movies, and bath bombs.

Twelve Years  Based on the prompt: “After all this time, you still can’t look at me?”

It’s Yours  Based on the prompts:  “I’m pregnant”, “The baby…it’s yours”, & “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything”.

Quidditch Squabbles (Drabble) Based on the prompt: “Somebody’s in a bad mood.” “Somebody needs to shut the fuck up.”

Hospital Wing Visits (Drabble) Based on the prompts: “Don’t leave me” & “Don’t be stupid, I’m not leaving you.”

Niece (No Pairing) Sirius returns home after escaping Azkaban to find a little girl living in his brother’s old room.

Double Date Reader and Sirius end up on a horrible double date and realize that the person they’re meant to be with has been in front of them all along. 

I Love You A Latte Based on the prompts: “Running your fingers through someone’s hair while sitting next to them on the couch” & “Getting them a coffee just the way they like it” from 50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”.

Secret Marriage Reader and Sirius try to keep their marriage a secret, but it’s hard to keep secrets from Harry and the Order of the Phoenix

Full Moon Reader is Remus’ twin sister and has always felt guilty that she managed to escape a life of lycanthropy. During a particularly bad full moon, she can’t get rid of the feeling that something is wrong, so she follows the Marauders out into the night.

Canis Major (Slytherin!reader) Reader is the only girl in school who seems to be able to keep up with Sirius’ flirting. When Sirius finds her stargazing one night, they find out that they have more in common than just their charm.

James Potter

Under the Weather  James takes care of an ill reader.

Birthday James is determined to make reader’s birthday as special as possible.

Quidditch Reader is trying her hardest to make the Gryffindor quidditch team. When James notices her struggling, he offers to help. 

Don’t Go (Sister!Reader) AU that James lives on October 31st, 1981. His twin sister is not so fortunate.

Caecus Reader is blind and does not believe that anyone could ever love her.

Go Away: Part 1 // Part 2  Reader is heartbroken that James is still in love with her best friend. Based on the prompts: “Get out.” and “Just go away.”

Just a Cut (Drabble) James comes back from an Order mission looking a little worse for wear. Based on the prompts: “Let me help you.”, “You look like hell.”, “You’re a terrible liar.”, and “It’s just a cut, really.”

Chicken Soup (Drabble) James is sick and reader makes him a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Based on the prompt: “I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but you are going to eat this chicken noodle soup and go back to bed or so help me God I will drown you in NyQuil.”

Consequences Based on the song Consequences by Camilla Cabello, but with a happy ending.

First Steps  Harry takes his first steps when reader and James least expect it.

Remus Lupin

Tell Her Remus tells Sirius that he’s in love with reader and asks him what to do.

AC/DC Remus is in love with a Hufflepuff who is a hardcore AC/DC fan.

Perfect Based on the song Perfect by Ed Sheeran.

I Know Reader overhears the Marauders talking about Remus’ “furry little problem”. 

Jealous When a Slytherin flirts with and begins to annoy reader, the green-eyed monster pays Remus a visit. 

Cancer Remus notices that reader hasn’t been feeling well for a while and talks her into going to the hospital wing even though she insists she’s fine. However, she receives a life-changing diagnosis.

Pipe Down (Drabble) The day after a full moon is always rough. Based on the prompts: “Pipe the fuck down, asshole.”, “Why am I not surprised?”, “What did you just say?”, and “Who gave you that black eye?”

MRI  Reader is terrified of getting an MRI.

Drunk  Remus gets a little too drunk at a party and reader takes care of him.

Mind the Bump Remus and reader tell the marauders and Lily that they’re having a baby.

Golden Trio Era

Harry Potter 

Twin (Sister!Reader) When Harry discovers that reader’s boyfriend is abusive, he steps in.

Courage Harry works up the courage to ask out reader who is a Slytherin and Blaise Zabini’s ex. 

Fred Weasley 

Astronomy?  Reader is a Slytherin and thinks that things with Fred could never work out because of their opposing houses. George sets up a plan to prove her wrong.

Mixed Up  Reader is tired of always mixing Fred and George up. 

George Weasley

The Burrow  Reader helps George degnome the garden.

Inked Reader loses a bet and is forced to show George her tattoos.

Weasley Twins

Troublemakers Reader is Hermione’s little sister and helps the Weasley twins with their pranks.

Neville Longbottom 

Brave Reader teaches Neville that bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it is acting despite your fear.

Draco Malfoy

Whatever it Takes When reader is captured by Voldemort, Draco promises to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.

I Dare You (Drabble) Part 2 Pansy learns a new spell and is eager to try it out on reader. Based on the prompts: “Do it. I dare you.” and “No! Don’t hurt them! Hurt me, leave them alone!”

Possessive Someone is flirting with reader and Draco does not like it.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Newt Scamander

Around the World Newt and reader try to go on a relaxing vacation, but the creatures in his case have other ideas.

Alec Lightwood 

Flowers (Alec x female!reader) Based on the prompt: “Sometimes I steal flowers from your garden on my way to the cemetery, but today you’ve caught me and have demanded to come with me to make sure the ‘girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft’ and I’m trying to figure out how to break it to you that we’re on our way to a graveyard”.

Something to Tell You (Alec x parabatai!reader, Malec)  Reader is Alec’s parabatai, and when she comes back from being stationed in Idris, Alec has something important to tell her about Magnus Bane.

Early or Late? (Drabble) Alec comes home from a meeting either very early or very late. Based on the prompts: “It’s too early for this. Go back to bed, sweetheart.” and “You’re the only person I wanted to be with tonight.”

Steve Rogers 

Safe Haven Steve and reader share a floor in the Avengers compound. When Steve has a nightmare, reader is quick to comfort him.

Bucky Barnes 

Good Enough Based on the prompts: “I can take care of myself.” & “I’m never going to be good enough, am I?”

[aurora077]

Sirius is not on drugs, chapter 1

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12720187/1/Sirius-is-not-on-drugs

Lupin Residence. Tuesday 16th July, 4:00 pm

*bringg... bringg..... bringgg*

“Remus dear could you get that?” Mrs. Lupin called from the kitchen.

“Sure mum,” he replied, sticking a clean chocolate wrapper in his book to mark the place.

“Lupin residence, Remus speaking,” he answered. There was silence. “Hello?” he said. Still more silence. He was slightly peeved that he’d been pulled away from his book for this and was about to hang up when a cough came from the other side.

“H..hi Remus,” came a voice. He didn’t recognise the owner though the voice was vaguely familiar.

“Hello. May I ask who is speaking?” he replied.

“Um. It’s Sirius. Sirius Black. Not sure if you remember me, we met at Lily’s 17th birthday party?” ­­the man replied hesitantly.

“Ah, right. Sirius. What can I do for you,” Remus replied, wondering if Lily gave some random guy his number. But he knew Lily wasn’t like that, she was a good friend, she would have asked him first. Besides, if she did, why would she give his house phone number rather than his cell? And that was almost a year ago too, why was he calling now? The name Sirius was familiar, but he couldn’t really recall more than that. ­­

Remus’s mind was working on overdrive but he was brought out of his thoughts by something sounding suspiciously like a pig squeal in the background.

A nervous chuckle came over the receiver as Sirius stammered out, “S..sorry about that, my, uh, my cat is sick.”

“Your cat?” Remus said incredulously.

“Well, technically my brother’s cat. Stupid Kreacher,” he muttered, “Dogs are way better. Like mine.”

Had he just called the cat a stupid creature? Remus frowned, “Now that’s not nice. It can’t help being sick, no need to call it a stupid creature, even if you do like your dog better.”

“Oh, no not creature, but Kreacher. That’s his name. And he really is stupid, I mean, he hates me. Nobody with any sense hates me! I’m wonderful!” Sirius announced.

“Right,” Remus deadpanned, “Well Mr. Wonderful, you still haven’t informed me of your purpose for calling.”

Sirius laughed nervously again, “About that...” He trailed off.

Remus sighed, “Yes?”

“What do you think about unicorns?” Sirius said abruptly, his manner changing from nervous to slightly manic sounding.

“Unicorns???” Remus, was utterly confused, “I guess unicorns are okay?”

“Great! Glad you think so! Now what do you think about werewolves?” Sirius said, his pitch rising slightly.

“Werewolves?? They’re dangerous,” Remus replied, not knowing why he was going along with this weird conversation.

“What? Werewolves are not dangerous! They’re awesome!” ranted Sirius.

“I mean, I guess they can be both?” replied a puzzled Remus.

“You’re darn right they can!” said Sirius enthusiastically.

“Now what does this have to do with your purpose for calling?” Remus asked, amused but still waiting on an answer.

Sirius coughed, “Well you see, there’s this play.”

“A play? You’re putting on a play?” Remus enquired. Remus loved plays. Maybe Lily had sent Sirius to him for advice. He did know a lot about plays though he hadn’t ever written one.

“Ye...I mean NO. I’m uh writing! That’s right, I’m writing a play,” he said, sounding pleased with himself.

“Well that’s a noble goal. Does it have a name yet?” Remus said, slightly intrigued.

“Um....yes, it’s called.....uh... Unicorneo and Werewolfette!” he proclaimed.

Before Remus could say anything he heard what sounded like violent wheezing/choking.

“Damn cat! Shoo!” Sirius said, sounding irritated.

“Um, Sirius, are you sure your cat is okay? I mean it’s starting to sound really bad, maybe you should take it to the vet?” Remus said, concerned.

“No no, it’s just uh, coughing up a hairball,” Sirius said, brushing away his concerns.

“Uh, okay then,” Remus replied, starting to feel that this conversation was entirely too strange.

“Just ignore the cat and everything shall be fine young grasshopper,” Sirius said sagely.

“Riiiiight. So, about Unicorneo and Werewolfette...” Remus started.

“Yes! As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by the idiotic cat,” he hissed cat like it was the gravest insult, “My play is going to be amazing.” Remus could practically see him dramatically turning his nose up, even though he hadn’t the faintest idea what Sirius looked like.

“I’m sure it is,” Remus drawled, “Romeo and Juliet, magical beast style, should be interesting.”

Sirius gasped, affronted, “Romeo and Juliette?? You insult me my dear Remus!”

“Is that not what it’s based on?” Remus asked.

“Why certainly not! I would never copy old Will! This is 100% Sirius Black material,” he stated, sniffing in what he presumed was a dignified manner.

“I see. And what is the play about then?” Remus said, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

“It’s about...uh...a bank robbery! Yes, a bank robbery that goes wrong when Werewolfette stops to buy a steak with the stolen money two days later,” Sirius said, the manic edge returning to his voice as he started to ramble on, “Unicorneo is the cop that catches her, but ends up falling in love with her when she bites him for trying to take away her steak. They go on an epic adventure cross country with a hamburger loving hippogriff. Finally Dracula, the police chief, catches them and kills Unicorneo for his treason against the Fairy Queen by stabbing him in the neck with his fangs and drinking all his blood, leaving Werewolfette so depressed she buys poison from a rat called Wormtail and eats it and dies in the arms of the dead Unicorneo.” Sirius, who had said all of this in one breath, was now breathing heavily.

Remus was speechless. His jaw had dropped steadily lower during Sirius’s impassioned rant about his play.

“Remus? You still there?” Sirius asked after a few moments of silence.

Remus let out a strangled ‘yes’. He didn’t know how to respond to that. It was certainly...something. In the end he collected himself and just ended up saying, “I hate to break it to you buddy but, that sounds pretty much like an interpretation of Romeo and Juliette.”

“No it can’t be!” Sirius gasped dramatically, “Tell me how!”

“Uh two people on opposite sides of the law who should be enemies end up falling in love and then dying in each other’s arms. Not exactly Romeo and Juliette but the inspiration can be seen if you squint,” he said, “Plus....the name is a dead giveaway really.”

“Nooooooooooo!” Sirius groaned, “My life’s work! Ruined! I shall write nevermore! Goodbye Unicorneo! Goodbye Werewolfette! You shall be banished to the veil of no return!”

Sirius, Remus thought, would make a good actor.

“Now is that really necessary?” Remus said, trying to calm down his dramatic conversation partner, “It sounds....interesting. You could still publish it as a reinterpretation.” Who was he to judge if the dude had an active imagination?

“I shall not! It’s a disgrace! It’s only fit for the bin now my Loopy friend,” Sirius wailed.

“Loopy?” Remus said, befuddled.

“Yes, Loony Loopy Lupin. It has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?” Sirius said, with surprising cheer for someone who’d just been wailing about his life’s work being destroyed.

“Um, we shall have to agree to disagree,” Remus remarked lightly.

“Fine. But I’m telling you, it’s genius!” he could imagine Sirius’s grin.

“Whatever floats your boat,” Remus sighed.

“I think you mean, whatever floats my goat,” Sirius said jovially.

“Your goat?” he said, wondering if he’d heard wrong. Remus felt that his eyebrows would be permanently stuck in his hairline by the time this conversation was over.

“Yes, my goat,” Sirius said, “His name is Prongs.” Sirius grunted suddenly.  

“Are you okay? What happened?” Remus asked, worried, but also wondering how many pets Sirius owned.

“I’m fine,” Sirius sounded winded, “I just stubbed my toe.”

“Right...your toe...” Remus said, starting to suspect something was off about Sirius.

“Yes, my toe. So, Remus old buddy old pal, how’s it going?” Sirius said, deflecting any more talk about his toe.

“How is what going?” Remus said.

“You. How are you?” Sirius asked.

“I’m...starting to question my sanity,” he mumbled.

“Oh no but you mustn’t! You’re just sane as I am! Sanity is like the moon. It’s always up there in the sky reflecting sunlight for us mere mortals to have light in the darkness of the night. And like the moon, sanity guides us through the confusing darkness of our minds,” Sirius said, stroking his non-existent beard contemplatively. Then suddenly, snapping his fingers, he expounded, “I know! We can call you Moony. It fits you so well. You’re the moon of my life! Sane to my in! Water to my goat!”

“I take it back,” Remus said quickly, “I’m starting to question your sanity.”

On her way out of the kitchen, Mrs. Lupin spotted Remus still on the phone. “Oh hey honey didn’t realise you’d still be on the phone, must be that girlfriend of yours, Lily was it?” she said, moving to the dining room before he could reply.

Remus rolled his eyes and called after her “No mum, it’s not Lily.” He didn’t bother explaining to her for the millionth time that he and Lily were just friends, she’d think what she liked anyway. To be fair to her he did exclusively hang out with Lily. She wasn’t just his good friend, she was his only friend. Well, that didn’t sound pathetic at all.

Remus heard a loud yelp over the phone, which drew his mind back to the conversation.

“Oh sorry, ignore that. That’s my dog Snuffles. He doesn’t get along very well with Kreacher,” Sirius said sheepishly.

“Well such is the way with cats and dogs,” said Remus, though he didn’t really know since he’d never had any pets.

“Indeed it is, though Snuffles is right not to like that disease ridden cat,” Sirius grumbled.

Remus stifled a laugh at Sirius’s irritation, glancing at the clock as he did so. It was 5 pm already. Where had the time gone? He had never spent so long on the phone before.

“Anyway,” he said, turning his attention back to the phone, “I think you should go break up your pets before they kill one another. That yelp sounded painful. Besides, I have to go now, it’s time for dinner.” He had thoroughly wasted the past hour on a random, if amusing, conversation with Sirius, whose original purpose for calling he still wasn’t quite clear on.

“What, already???” Sirius replied, aghast. He was actually enjoying the conversation, having forgotten why he originally called Remus in the first place.

He thought about it and asked hesitantly, “Well...can I call back tomorrow then?”

“Sure I guess, same time,” Remus said, shrugging to himself. Not like he had much else to do.

“Yes! Okay tomorrow then,” said Sirius. And Remus shook his head, wondering what he’d gotten himself into. There was only one thing left to say though, before he hung up. He smirked slightly.

“Oh and Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“Lay off the drugs.”

 Potter Residence. Tuesday 16th July, 5:00 pm

There was an almost deafening silence. Then it was broken by twin bursts of laughter.

Sirius just stared dumbfounded at the phone while James and Peter rolled around on the living room floor.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA we should make Lupin a marauder for that. Pads you should see the look on your face,” James said, wiping away a tear of mirth.

Sirius threw a pillow that hit James squarely in the face, skewing his glasses.

“Hey!” James cried.

“What? You were being a git. And they are called throw pillows after all, Mrs. P. said so herself,” Sirius huffed.

“Now James, don’t be mean to Sirius can’t you see he needs some support,” Peter said, holding back a grin.

“Yeah, see James. That’s what real friends do. They support you!” Sirius said.

“Exactly. Now Sirius, would you like some Aloe Vera?” Peter asked, the picture of concern.

“Aloe Vera? Why would I need Aloe Vera?” Sirius asked confused.

Peter couldn’t control his grin this time, “Because you just got burned.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(A/N by Remus not James XD)

Reviews give Sirius motivation to stay away from drugs.

Sirius: “Hey, I am not on drugs!”

Remus: “Suuuure you aren’t Padfoot.”

[enbysiriusblack]

gossip girl!marauders au where gossip girl is peter

however, the person who sends in the most tips is emmeline. like peter cannot catch up with all the gossip from her.

peter posts the most about james (he's obsessed with him), like about him getting rejected by lily, his fights with severus, rumours about who he's hooking up with, parties he has or goes to, etc.

sirius also getting a pretty heavy beating in it, mostly cause he has a lot of drama around him and his life, but also his close connection to james that everytime there's gossip surrounding james, then sirius is also involved in it somehow. remus mostly has rumours around him and sirius, or his scars/gossip girl also calling him loopy lupin in it (peter that's your best friend?? what you doing??)

lily getting absolutely ruined (peter is a bit jealous plus emmeline is a bit weird and obsessed with lily plus severus would prob send in a bunch of stuff everytime he and lily have a fight). lily is gossip girls n1 hater btw. she has put on her detective hat to figure out who it is many a times.

mary is an avid reader of the blog btw. she loves this shit. when its not about her or screwing over her close friends i mean. but other than that she loves it and would def send in tips too.

marlene couldn't give a crap about gossip girl, mostly cause she's never really on it until it outs her. then she joins the lily 'hate and figure out who it is' train. and then gossip girl starts getting a huge vendetta against marlene for some reason and posts loads of rumours and scandals about her

[acewitch-writes]

hi I am the last anon from 2017 marauders fandom. it’s just silly to me cause, like, sirius is the one with the fucked up family background who covers it up with bravado and cockiness? remus is the one with a personal secret that makes him fear getting close to others.

Exactly! In canon, Remus was very isolated until he started attending Hogwarts. I bet he was super weird and awkward and riddled with anxiety and that's where the nickname "Loony Loopy Lupin" came from. I really don't understand why the fandom has rejected this version of Remus because I personally find him SO likeable and relatable? Every time I try to think of a reason that might explain it, it always leads right back to internalized misogyny, heteronormativity, and the fetishization of mlm.

This new, tough guy Remus resonated with people. I guess being a dominating asshole with a footlong schlong and explosive anger issues is soooo attractive when you're an abused orphan 7 ft tall werewolf with the darkest and most checkered past out of ANYONE ELSE

It's no coincidence that Sirius (who used to be portrayed as cooler, taller, more masculine, dominant, whathaveyou) is now unrecognizable in so many fics today. I wish this fandom would reflect on the reason WHY that is, because it's incredibly problematic that we as a fandom felt the need to dumb down and soften one half of an mlm ship in response to the hyper masculinization of Remus in recent years. Why does Sirius have to be ditzy? Short and delicate and dainty and hairless? Does femininity = small, weak, overdramatic, helpless, porcelain damsel in need of a big strong man to save the day?

I love a feminine Sirius when it's done well. I've written him that way myself. Sirius can be feminine AND a top AND smart AND strong AND tall AND cool AND badass. So please, let's stop trying to shove our mlm ships into small-minded stereotypes of femininity and masculinity.