#really happy that they actually got Why the klingons suck

[worflesbian]

nobody point out that i'm a parody of myself but i'm making a separate post for the klingon episode of snw (s2e8 under the cloak of war).

when i started this ep i was Convinced it was going to go one of two ways: ambassador dak'rah was going to turn out to be a spy or otherwise a traitor, confirming the bigoted suspicions of the crew, or he would be written as "one of the good ones" proving the crew's suspicions wrong while still painting the majority of klingons as barbarians.

so i was pleasantly surprised that it was neither, and even more surprised that dak'rah's flaw was dishonesty and hypocrisy rather than anger. having him take credit for killings that someone else carried out in order to begin his career in peacemaking was actually really true to how the klingons are written at their best -- the problem is not that they're "just more violent" than humans, it's that violence is the currency of their empire and they're very good at twisting words and ideologies to justify it.

which is where i was disappointed by this episode, because the federation are very good at that too. the episode explicitly shows us this, it shows the federation manipulating its soldiers into drugging themselves up to fight harder during the klingon war, it shows us the hypocrisy, violence, and disregard for life that humanity is capable of. and then it goes nowhere with it. the conclusion of the episode is unconcerned with any critique of humanity and i highly doubt snw will ever come back to that plotline in any meaningful way. all we're left with is another death and the ambiguous implication that federation war crimes are, if not justified, then more forgiveable than klingon ones by dint of how bad humans feel about doing them.

anyway i liked this episode a lot more than i expected to but it still fell short of adding any insight to such a frequently cited part of trek history

[mylittleredgirl]

Least favorite Star Trek character in each series?

i love all my children equally how could you do this to me!!!!

slightly more rational answer: i have been thinking about this since yesterday when i got the ask and it's like every time i think i have an answer i immediately go "oh but i love them for XYZ" and they move up in the ranks. ultimately most treks are ensemble shows and removing anybody from the ensemble makes it all fall apart!

gun to my head, though, bearing in mind that i love all of them:

tos: gun to my head it's chapel i'm afraid and i feel bad about it. she doesn't really get to grow much and the other most-static character is probably chekov and i had a massive crush on him. in 1967 when they went "you know this show should add a mop top for the teenyboppers out there" they were talking specifically about me 30 years later.

tng: i would take the bullet for real.

ds9: man i'm going through main characters and then secondary characters and then tertiary characters and how are they all so essential and good????? literally i have gone thru a list of characters and a list of episodes and am coming up blank. even the villains are fantastic. eddington is annoying but he's supposed to be and his episodes are all great. sloan himself is fun it's just what section 31 did to star trek in general that sucks. like????? there's not a single name that shows up in the credits that doesn't make me go YEAHHHHHH.

voy: if we can count recurring characters i'm saying barclay. i liked him a lot as a character in tng and but go "for fuck's sake" whenever i see "guest star dwight schultz" on the voyager credits. i dislike pretty much every earth-contact episode after "message in a bottle" so maybe i don't like voyager-barclay because he just happens to be there?? for main cast it'd be neelix shut up shut up i love him in the ensemble but sometimes when they give him his own episode it's too much.

ent: sorry malcolm lovers this was the only show that was an easy choice. like we SHOULD dig into the fact that essentially his greatest wish is to sacrifice himself and he won't be happy until he dies on the job. klingon behavior but not at all for the fun and glory of it just because he kind of just doesn't enjoy being alive???? archer is terrible in so many ways but he's also much more enjoyable to watch being terrible.

disco: this is actually a very weird show to even know who to choose from. the cast changes every year! we barely even know the bridge crew! who is interesting enough to count as a main character?? of the main title cast i'm kind of hot and cold with adira. i like them but the sheer amount of anxiety radiating off them at all times makes me tense up whenever they come on screen. (i just realized it's kind of ironic to say adira because they're basically a mix of wesley and ezri, who would probably make this list for most other trekkies but are two of my absolute faves.) (i will think long and hard about this)

snw: i don't know that i have enough of a read on any of them? i still haven't finished it. chapel (again?? oh no) is the one i had the hardest time warming up to early on because she seemed the most wink-y and out of place in a franchise that usually takes silly things very seriously, but i did warm up to her!

lower decks: if we can go with guest characters i hate badgey (only one on here that gathers the "hate" rating!!). i don't find him (it??) funny and i know i SHOULD find it funny which means whenever it shows up i am both not having a good time and feel bad about not having a good time. the main characters are all brilliant. gun to my head it's boims but it's a close one i love them all.

i don't even know what other shows we have i've run out of steam???

oh right picard. captain shaw??? why is such a large subset of fandom so horny for him??? and shipping him with seven of nine of all things???? is it just White Guy With Trauma because there are like. a lot of other white guys with trauma in this franchise to choose from.

[thegeminisage]

tng update time!! last night we did "the mind's eye" and "in theory."

the mind's eye: REDEMPTION FOR GEORDI??? they wrote this episode for me specifically to heal me from my geordi holodeck trauma

actually when they first said he was going to risa my heart dropped like a stone...i don't want to see him next to a woman ever again

happily, he got brainwashed <3

i will say though that there was a fantastic setup with absolutely no follow through. come with me, Brainwashing Connoisseur, on a journey. what are the three most important factors in a brainwashing story? 1. indiscriminate murder one will later feel tortured about 2. Big Scene where we break the conditioning 3. the little chairs they always put them in

this episode only managed to hit 1 out of 3. and the little chair was great! i was horrified, and also twirling my hair about it. we did also have bonus point categories "doubting sense of reality," "unknowing agent of evil," and "amnesia about the conditioning" ticked off. HOWEVER.

not only was geordi NOT allowed to murder people or even get a good attempt in, he didn't even get saved by anyone important (like data). the closest we got was him shooting o'brien in the holodeck simulation. and that was fun and made me really excited for what was to come, which was a lot of nothing. data figuring it out and then NOT rushing to be the one to intercept geordi and lovingly, as a bestie, wrestle him to the ground? letdown. why tf was it worf. why were those random klingons holding him back. what were we DOING people did they just not know how to cook up a good brainwashing in 91 or what!!! honestly

that said i did like the plot twist about the klingon guy being evil because he was genuinely so helpful in a non-suspicious way and disliked that other klingon guy that worf and i dislike. i'm always happy to be surprised like this

also i really hope worf gets his honor back someday im tiiired of people being mean to him about it :(

and geordi's little therapy session at the end was funny too. he's like haha i don't remember being tortured in a brainwashing chair at all! and deanna's like oh you're Gonna remember. and then he starts to remember and we roll credits. perfect. 10/10. could not have asked for a better ending

or beginning for that matter. it was just the middle that sucked :(

in theory: this was another episode with a very nice set-up and a lackluster payoff

firstly can we not disrespect data or tasha yar by pretending they did not fuck...it was weird, and it was in a bad season, but they DID fuck and to act like data is a virgin is ridiculous. maybe he doesn't know "dating" since they didn't date but he definitely knows how sex works cuz he had it. with tasha yar. may she rest in peace

i actually really liked this at first because data's gf seemed to get a huge kick out of all the insanely weird shit that is just constantly coming out of his mouth, which is right and just. i think they leaned a little too hard on data taking things literally and being "people stupid" in this episode, but i could have forgiven it bc she looked SO FOND every time data was being weird. i even said out loud with my mouth "this is a requirement to love him and be his gf. you have to love the dumb shit he says."

BUT THEN THEY HOOKED UP AND SHE IMMEDIATELY STARTED TRYING TO CHANGE HIM? like, telling him how to receive her gift, telling him to paint and not paint and paint again, and she's like well at least you're trying, you'll get there, BITCH HE IS PERFECT AS HE IS i would date data and i wouldn't make him change ANYTHING

also, it's so stupid. he obviously knows you're supposed to say thank you when you get a gift and i bet he's learned "please don't let me interrupt" isn't always meant to be taken literally either. dude has like two decades of experience now he wasn't activated yesterday

that said, the section where data asks everyone's opinion on whether or not he should date this lady was 10/10 except for picard's response which was sexist. my absolute favorite was riker's he was like oh buddy. you are gonna get LAID if you date this girl and then you can find out why everyone loves SEX like I DO did i mention SEX IS GREAT?? and i do kind of forgive riker for not knowing data and tasha fucked bc tasha asked him not to tell. so it was just funny the guy is such a slut (affectionate, honorific) that he's excited for data to get some too. it was very healing after that whole thing with beverly to see him happy about his buddy getting laid or whatever.

also i'm so fucking thrilled we got to see his cat again i love spot so much fr <3

my other gripe with this episode, aside from this woman dating an android and then being shocked he acted like an android, is...what even was that b plot? it had NOTHING to do with anything. normally they're at least tangentially related and i kept waiting for the gf to be secretly behind it or to get killed by it but this time it really was just some random thing. which frankly i think could have been saved for a better episode bc putting that lady through the floor was probably the goriest think trek has done up til this point. it ruled. give us a whole 45 minutes of that shit (just no morgue scenes please).

again, great setup, could've been lots of fun, mostly wound up being watchable but lackluster. bordering on disappointing :( theme of the evening.......

TONIGHT: redemption parts i & ii. i normally dont like finishing a season and starting one in the same evening but watching percy jackson put us off one so i'm gonna be a grownup about it. goodbye season 4!!!

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 5: Case Fic

Fearful | @deansrightfulangerissue

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1430 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, IT Crossover, Angst Summary: It comes for children, it feeds on their fears. Dean and Cas arrive to end its reign of terror.

He Wanted More (WIP) | @becky-srs

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1621 Main Tags/Warnings: #HeWantedMore #Destiel Summary: After years of self-denying and depressing Dean realized he's in love with Cas. Cas loves him too but this two morons won't see it, until Sam takes of with Eileen to a romantic vacation and put Dean and Cas on a case with a monster who kills gay couples what takes them to be an undercover couple... may the cover fall and revel their true feelings?

Curse me | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3099 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean loves balett!! Summary: Dean had always loved ballet, even though he never told anyone about that. When he and Sam find cursed ballet shoes, Dean can’t resist and tries them on anyway. He gets surprised in more than just one way.

Lost and Found | @unforth & @deansrightfulangerissue

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4885 Main Tags/Warnings: Horror, Ambiguous Ending, Memory Alteration Summary: Dean and Sam's hunt in a haunted forest was bullshit from the moment the fog rolled in. And then the ghost silenced the world.

On This Night | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5688 Main Tags/Warnings: case fic, djinn, fluff, dean knows his tropes Summary: Something goes terribly wrong while hunting a djinn. Newly-human Cas had never considered what the effects of djinn poison could be for a human, and struggles to remember why everything seems just so slightly off when he wakes up back at the cabin he and Dean had been staying in during the hunt. The cabin has been transformed with holiday decorations, and Cas wonders just how long he'd been unconscious. Only when he tries to get answers from Dean, reality comes crashing back in on them both, in the best of all possible ways.

Heavenly Flavor | @songbird211

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7190 Main Tags/Warnings: First Time/Fluff/lust monster/Sam Ships It/Anal/Blowjobs/Nipple Play/Top Dean/Top Cas/Bottom Dean/Bottom Cas/Voyeurism/Wing Kink/Love Confession Summary: During a case involving college men going missing Dean and Cas are taken by the creature responsible. This creature loves having sex with humans, hence the kidnappings, but this time she wants to fulfill her fantasy of watching two men have sex and she thinks Dean and Cas will do nicely.

The Unexpected Consequences of Amnesia | @pray4jensen

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10539 Main Tags/Warnings: Casefic, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealousy, Secret Relationship, Miscommunication, Dubious Consent Summary: When a spell backfires and results in Sam losing a year’s worth of memories, Sam’s really not that worried. After all, Dean reassures him that he hasn’t missed much and for the first time in a long time, the supernatural world’s at peace. Except then Dean and Cas exchange a look. Except then Sam keeps seeing them sneak around at night, into each other’s bedrooms, or whispering stealthily into each other’s ears whenever they think that he’s not looking. So naturally, Sam just has to investigate. Or the one where Sam obliviously and almost single-handedly brings about the collapse of Dean and Cas’ marriage in the span of one week.

Angeleech | @noiproksa

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 14457 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Team Free Will, Hugs, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Castiel, Banter, Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, Case Fic Summary: It was supposed to be an easy hunt, but then everything goes sideways. Dean and Sam have to take care of an injured Cas and find out what is going on with the angel before it is too late. (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

Ten Inch Hero | @banshee1013

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16689 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Canon Compliant, Case Fic, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Witch Curses, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Men of Letters Bunker, Researching Sam Winchester, No Archive Warnings Summary: After returning from Purgatory the second time, Castiel and Dean were just beginning to explore the new direction of their relationship, when on a case involving missing hunters, Dean is struck by a witch's curse and turned into a ten-inch plastic figurine. Can Sam find a way to revert the effects of the curse and return Dean to himself before the tiny spark of life Cas detects in him fades away? Or will Cas lose Dean just as their relationship has begun?

Trouble in Paradise | @its-funnier-in-klingon

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1746 Main Tags/Warnings: canon divergence, human!Cas, post 14x09, Hawaii, case fic, bed-sharing, ghosts, mutual pining Summary: Sam finds a case where gay couples are being tormented by a ghost in a resort in Kauai, Hawaii. Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack embark to the resort where Dean and Cas must go undercover to take down the ghost, all while trying to sort through all their own personal issues.

Unthought Known | @noiproksa

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 18337 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Amnesia, Profound Bond, Team Free Will, Banter, Canon Compliant, Hugs, Case Fic, Soul Bond Summary: Dean wakes up in an abandoned mental institution with no memories and two strange guys, ‘Sam’ and ‘Castiel.’ They have to work together if they want to find out who they are and what happened to them. And what the hell is this profound bond he seems to share with Castiel? * Dean woke up with a pounding headache on the floor of a bright white, windowless room and no recollection of how he got there. What the hell was he doing in what looked like some sort of psych ward? Before he could get his bearings, he heard moaning coming from behind him and got to his feet, swiveling around, ready to fight whoever was in the room with him. ‘Whoever’ turned out to be two someones. One man with abnormally long hair and one guy in a trench coat who had a ‘tax accountant’ vibe to him. Who were these clowns? (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

Suck It, Judy Garland | @midrashic

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20116 Main Tags/Warnings: N/A Summary: It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

Making it Up as We Go | @Foxymoley

Rating: Mature Word Count: 24439 Main Tags/Warnings: Case fic, ghost, Angel!Cas, choose your own adventure Summary: A choose your own adventure story! The Winchester's catch a case—an ordinary salt and burn—but Dean's decisions along the way are up to you!

The Memory Remains | FriendofCarlotta (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 28408 Main Tags/Warnings: Case fic, post-canon, POV Dean Winchester Summary: With Chuck defeated, Dean's trying hard to get his head back in the game. What he needs is a bit of peace and quiet, and maybe a nice, straightforward hunt. What he most definitely doesn't need is this thing about monsters trying to summon some kind of hermaphroditic goat person. Or dealing with Cas, whose powers are still failing and who is acting more human in increasingly disconcerting ways.

Human Error | @jemariel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 33435 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate season 9, case fic, wendigos, human Castiel, Cas in the bunker, miscommunication, drunk sex, top!Dean, bottom!Cas, 69 (sex position), bedsharing Summary: Cas is human now, and things aren't going to plan. (Not that Dean had a plan. Nope. No plans of any kind.) Anyway, what's a Winchester to do when everything he tries seems to blow up in his face? Go hunting. Obviously.

Fade to Hell | @alisuwink **Also in English**

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 37549 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Sam Winchester,Alastair (Supernatural), Bobby Singer, Slow Burn, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Season/Series 05, Fanart, Action/Adventure, Violence, Dark, Humor, Hell, Tortured Dean Winchester, Madness, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester Summary: It didn’t seem to be enough with Lucifer wandering free and the Apocalypse up our asses. Of course not! Now, Sammy’s soul has ended in fucking Hell, and I have no choice but to go down to that fucking hole with Castiel. When we rescue Sam, he is going to be buying me beers for the rest of his damn life. *Note: the fic is finished in Spanish, I'll have it in English by June.

Highway 9 | @ellis-park

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 38909 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, mutual pining, suicide attempt Summary: Dean Winchester is a private investigator working what should be an open-and-shut vandalism case on an isolated stretch of rural highway. Except it’s not an open-and-shut case, because whatever is happening on Highway 9 isn’t vandalism — it’s something far more sinister and unnatural. And if Dean is going to get to the bottom of this case, he’s going to have to rely on the one person he’s learned he can’t rely on for anything — his ex-best friend, Cas Novak.

Someone Who’s Feeling for Me | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 45876 Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual pining, case fic, canon universe Summary: Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight. Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away. Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

Silver and Cold | @pomegranatedaffodil

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 64851 Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Hunter Castiel, Small Town Setting, Religious Themes, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries, Minor Character Death,Tragic Backstory, Nightmares, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switching Summary: The death of a young man in an apparent animal attack brings hunter Cas Novak to the small town of Sydnam, Maine. It doesn’t take long for him to realize he’s tracking a werewolf, but discovering the killer’s identity is no easy task. All signs point towards Dean Winchester, a lonely recluse who lives in the middle of the woods and whose antagonistic behaviour does little to lessen Cas’ suspicions. As the investigation drags on, their mutual distrust gives way to a wary alliance. Cas’ instincts warn him that Dean is hiding something, but as he uncovers the man beneath the mystery, his professional interest becomes far more personal. Praying his faith in Dean isn’t misplaced, Cas races to catch the killer before the next full moon rises and another life is abruptly cut short.

[thebad---catholic]

My problems with AOS

Well here I am, 10 years late with an opinion no one asked for, but I have to write this down and throw into the void so that I can be at peace. I’ve been salty about this film franchise for a very long time now. This will mostly focus on Star Trek (2009) with the other two movies sprinkled in.

1. Starfleet

Honestly where do I even begin? In TOS, Starfleet was modeled after the navy (idk how accurately, but Roddenberry was in the air force so I’m assuming he’d know how all that works). You can get a feel for the chain of command, and everything feels natural with character ages and things like that. There’s a procedure for everything.

AOS Starfleet feels more like a high school club than an interplanetary exploration organization. Jim is supposed to be twenty-five when he gets the rank of captain- after he was almost expelled for cheating. He has no idea how to operate or run a starship. TOS Kirk moved through the ranks of Starfleet and was promoted on merit and leadership skills- he worked for his position.

Why was Jim the only person who knew what was happening when Nero showed up? Was there any requirements to joining to Starfleet other than get on the shuttle? Why did the linguist not know the difference between Vulcan and Romulan when they’re the linguist? How did Pike bypass the chain of command to appoint Jim Kirk as First Officer which was an obvious show of favoritism to someone was about to be thrown out of the academy? Why the fuck was he allowed to keep the title of captain? What the fuck?

Speaking of Jim.

2. Jim Kirk’s Character

I...don’t like Jim’s character in this film. It’s not terrible for a younger version of Kirk, but like I said though, there’s no reason Kirk should be this young. And in this one he’s just kinda a douche.

We know from TOS that Kirk gets around, but he genuinely cares for his exes, and in general respects women. He uses sex appeal as a strategy, but more than anything this comes off as a subversion of the femme fatal trope bc Kirk is a man. In the movie, he’s just a standard action movie protag who has lots of sex just because.

The scene when the Orion woman says she loves him and he replied “that’s so weird” is just...so weird? Like I can’t imagine Kirk doing anything in that situation than backing off and explaining that he doesn’t feel the same way. The scene continues with him hiding under the bed when Uhura walks in. Watching how the camera angle makes Jim out to be a voyeur made me uncomfortable then and it still does. It could be explained that Jim is trying to figure out Uhura’s identity or that he’s listening in and people look at who they’re listening to but like...she was in her underwear. You shouldn’t look at people while they’re getting undressed, especially when they don’t even know you’re there? Is that a hot take? Apparently.

In TOS there’s this really nice scene in This Side of Paradise(S1E24) where the whole crew is high (again) and has abandoned ship, leaving Kirk to tend to things. We see Jim move around the ship with a little clip pad and make the proper checks. This is a captain who knows his stuff. That is the Kirk we should have seen if we’re going to see Jim become captain.

AOS kirk goes through a standard “stop being an asshole” arc commonplace for male protagonists, but this happens well past the point he should stop being an asshole. Either the AOS series should’ve been a prequel with Jim becoming captain at the end of the trilogy, or he should’ve been older with a completely different arc- maybe coming to terms with his rank? Imposter syndrome? Learning to trust his crew and building trust with them? Building a friendship with Spock and McCoy? There’s a lot to work with here.

3. Spock and Uhura’s relationship

Why. Like why. For what. Por Que.

I like giving Uhura a bigger role, I don’t like making her a love interest to do that.

It doesn’t make sense for either of their characters. Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, linguist expert who handles all transmissions to and from the enterprise- an icon of black women’s representation is now demoted to Spock’s nagging girlfriend. This bothers me more than a little bit.

It manages to make even less sense for Spock. A hallmark of Spock’s character is his duality. He struggles to combat his emotions and the human half of him. His repeating character arc in TOS is coming to terms with humanity while upholding the Vulcan way of life. Having him in an established romantic relationship before this arc is supposed to happen just makes for a boring romantic subplot about a relationship that shouldn’t happen and that I don’t care about.

TOS Vulcan culture is kinda shitty. Explicitly patriarchal and stuff, and also kinda racist against humans. The source of Spock’s inner conflict is not himself but a society that views him as lesser for being half human. However, one thing that I can certainly understand from a “logical” (logic in quotations bc racism and sexism is fucking stupid) people is ritualized arranged marriages. It just...makes sense to me that Vulcans would simply have their mates chosen for them and then marry that person and be done with it. Neat. Logical. Conformity.

This makes Spock and Uhura’s relationship even stranger. Why would Spock go so against conformity that he dates someone before he truly comes to terms with himself? Even if they throw out ponfarr and arranged marriage, it still doesn’t work but now it especially doesn’t work.

My personal theory is that Spock and Uhura’s relationship was established purely to make shippers shut up. It’s no secret Spirk is the most popular ship from TOS. I have no doubt they knew this while writing the movie. So to quietly wrap a no homo on Spock and Kirk’s friendship, they use Uhura as a prop to do so.

The teacher/student dynamic should only be relegated to fan fiction and the throwaway line about oral sensitivity makes me cringe. Every. Time.

4. McCoy

Karl Urbans performance is easily my favorite part of this movie. He captures DeForrest Kelley so well it hurts. He made Leonard Nimoy cry. His chemistry with Pine made McKirk go from the most underrated triumvirate ship in TOS to rival Spirks popularity in AOS. His scenes with Zachary Quinto are just *chefs kiss*.

So why doesn’t he have more of a role? The triumvirate is missing a third.

In particular, there’s a scene where Uhura, Kirk, and Spock make their way down to a planet to talk to a Klingon. I can’t remember which movie it was or why, but Spock and Uhura were bickering and Kirk remarks “can we do this later?”

The line was funny. It would’ve been golden if it was McCoy and not Uhura.

A fantastic performance by an underutilized character in a movie where that character should’ve been at the forefront.

5. Representation

I am skeptical of any movie that advertises diversity. Nonetheless, it made me happy to know Sulu was going to be gay. This is Star Trek after all, known for its diversity and large LGBT fan base, and an homage to George Takai who’s a gay man irl. So whatever.

The fact that I wasn’t expecting much says a lot about the current state of LGBT rep in media but this blink-and-you-miss-it shit is really starting to get to me.

I mean he jus- he doesn’t even give his husband a KISS. Like why.

6. Destroying Vulcan

WHY. Oh god why.

This isn’t Star Wars, JJ. We don’t do that here.

Imploding Vulcan was the most god awful shock value bullshit plot device I’ve ever seen in a movie and it was done entirely to make Spock sad. Besides the gaping plot hole of “why did Nero go back in time to destroy Vulcan when he could’ve just saved Romulus” I’m just grasping to find a purpose for this particular event. New fans don’t care at all about Vulcan while I was enraged that they would do Amanda that dirty.

It’s not just that they did that, it’s more that they did it like that. Vulcan’s destruction should’ve caused a federation wide meltdown as the biggest catastrophe in the entire franchise. If they were gonna make the stakes so pointlessly high, they should’ve treated the destruction of Vulcan exactly how they would treat the destruction of earth. There a million ways to treat that event with more gravity and million better plot lines that don’t involve G E N O C I D E

7. Miscellaneous petty bullshit because I’m a baby

-lower the fucking stakes Jesus Christ

-Don’t like the set. It’s bright and white and boring and gives me a headache. You don’t need a remake of the old set but like have fun ya know? Shit looks like an Apple store.

-Christine and I are the same in that we are both soft and are thirsty for Spock. Imagine my surprise to learn she wasn’t fucking there. Same with Janice but I’m more pressed about Christine. I don’t even remember the name of that blonde doctor lady who is Not Christine but i didn’t want her.

-The costumes in AOS look boring but still don’t feel like a uniform either. I deadass think Chris Pines outfit in the SNL skit looked better than the actual movie (minor adjustments needed)

-I didn’t notice this at first but someone pointed out that women’s uniforms don’t signify rank and now I can’t not see it. I don’t...think this movie treats women good? Or McCoy? Or just people who deserve better?

-Lens Flare

-I get why they did it but I don’t like that they misquoted the opening theme to say “no one” instead of “no man”. I probably wouldn’t have even notice except they gave the line to Uhura. Comes off as just a touch too “yay feminism” which is really rich coming from that treated Uhura like an object to be looked at when she wasn’t too busy being Spock’s emotional support gf, and completely cut two women from the main cast.

8. Conclusions

If I could describe these movies in one word it’d be generic. Which sucks because Star Trek far from generic.

They’re fun to watch but not think about. It was nice that I got to see a Star Trek movie in theaters. I just wish it as the same Trek I saw on TV.

[uas-fics]

Title: The Cool and the Uncool Summary: Kevin's not a bad boyfriend. He and Red get along so well! So why won't she let them be seen together? Is he really that uncool? Rating: G Ships: Revin For @revinweek  I combined like day 2-5 prompts for this because I wouldn't have time to actually make quality content otherwise, so it counts for all those days. ^^;

You can also read it on AO3

---

Kevin burst his hand away from his head.

"Those special effects blew my mind!" He exclaimed, excitedly swinging their hands. "Did you see the laser fire? So cool!"

Red nodded in agreement. "I know! And the costumes were so realistic. If I didn't know better, I would have thought they hired real aliens." She sighed. "We've come so far from actors throwing themselves around a set to show turbulence."

The two waited at the crosswalk as a line of cars slowly rolled by. The evening flow of traffic would make walking Red home a bit of a chore on any other day, but Kevin didn't care this time.

They had been counting down the days to the movie's premiere. With the influx of superhero movies lately, a good old fashion sci-fi space adventure was mana from heaven for them.

It wasn't that either of them hated superhero movies. On the contrary, Kevin loved Marvel's movies. When he heard the plot of the new Thor movie, he dug through his collection of comics for the mini-series where Jane became Thor while Thor went soulsearching and read them three times over in his excitement.

And Red had a deep fondness for DC's movies and comics. She could quote the Joker's joke about the inmates and the flashlight from 'The Killing Joke' verbatim. She saw Wonder Woman five times when the movie came out and even dressed up as her for the Halloween party at school. She looked so cool and awesome, way better than the other Wonder Women in their class.

But there inlined the problem. Except for Wonder Woman, DC's movies sucked. Their comics were good enough and the animated universe from the nineties was awesome, but those are nothing compared to the glory that was Marvel's extended universe.

Whenever Kevin pointed this out, they would argue about it. They even broke up for a whole three days because of it!

This one-shot sci-fi film was just what the relationship doctors ordered.

"So, what did you think the ending meant?" Red asked. "Did the captain die or do you think her cryogenic status will hold out until she reaches New Earth?"

Kevin tilted his head in thought. "Well, I think she'll make it. The technical experts did say it was able to make it there, or nearly there. She might wake up a few days before, but that will give her time to draw up a report to give to the Emporer of New Earth"

"But it was damaged, remember? In the fight with the alien--" Red froze. With a small gasp, she tore her hand away from Kevin's and shoved it in her pocket.

Kevin furrowed his brow and looked down at his mitten-covered hand. Did he have a hard candy from his pocket stuck to it again? No? They why would Red drop his hands?

"Hey! Red!"

Oh, right.

Bebe trotted up to her, completely ignoring Kevin, which he was fine with. He put his hands in his own pockets and looked away, kicking at a rock on the sidewalk.

"Bebe, hi, what are you doing? I thought you went out with Clyde?" She looked around her towards Tweak Bros down the street. Kevin looked too, but he didn't see Clyde or anyone else in their class near the coffee shop.

Bebe scoffed. "We did but then your stupid cousin showed up." She wrinkled her nose. "He dared Clyde to see how many muffins he could eat and Clyde ended up puking on the floor."

Red recoiled. "Eeeew! Why are boys so gross?"

"I know, right?" Bebe looped her arm around Red's. "Do you wanna come to my house? I got the latest issue of Preteen Girl's Dream in and there is a quiz in there you just have to take to find out what your favorite cereal is based on your zodiac--and there is a recipe for moss graffiti that I think Wendy would love to try. Oh and an interview with--"

As Bebe rattled off the contents of the magazine, Red looked over her shoulder at Kevin with an apologetic smile. Kevin sighed but nodded anyway. He gave her a small wave then trudged across the clear crosswalk home.

---

Not even Star Trek could lift his spirits. Kevin slumped down in the couch, wishing the cushions would open up and swallow him whole. Maybe take him to a fantasy world with characters that look oddly like his friends and family where he would beat the odds and become a hero to the people and defeat the bad guy. He'd loved that.

Then when he got back to his world after being king and loved by all, Red wouldn't be ashamed of dating him and he could be happy here, too!

As the credits of the last episode on the disk rolled, Kevin had yet to be swallowed up.

Giving up on that possibility, he rolled to his side, staring at the title screen playing clips from the show.

He didn't get it. Did it matter that much that he wasn't a cool kid like she was? Didn't dating her move him up in the social pecking order? Or did he just pull her down?

Kevin sighed. What could he do to make himself cooler? He stopped wearing his Klingon ears to school and only made a minimum of three references in conversations not about sci-fi movies.  Didn't that erase enough of his uncool status?

A thought hit him.

Clyde and Craig were both nerds too. They liked sci-fi. They made references. They were cool kids. He just needed to find out what they did!

"Moooom!" Kevin yelled towards the kitchen. "Can I go visit Clyde? It'll only be for an hour. Please? I promise I'll text you if I'm late."

From the kitchen, pots and pans rattled and the sink turned on. Just as Kevin pulled in a breath to yell again, his mom replied, "Alright, you may. Just be careful and back before dinner. We're having meatloaf."

"Thanks, Mom!"

Kevin tried to jump to his feet, only to have his heels tangle in the throw blanket and fall to his face into the carpet.

---

Clyde put his hand on his hip and eyed Kevin up and down.

"What's up?" He asked. "You look out of breath."

Kevin nodded, hands on his knees. He ran the whole way to Clyde's house so he could have as much time as possible before dinner to talk.

"Can I," He panted, "come in? I have to ask you a question, then I have to run and ask Craig a question too."

Clyde stepped aside to let him. "Craig's here with me. You can ask him now if you want."

"That's perfect!" Kevin straightened up.

"We're in the living room watching Buzzfeed Unsolved." Clyde waved for him to follow.

In the Donovan's living room, Craig reclined on the couch, chuckling at whatever the hosts had said a moment prior.

"Hey, dude," Clyde leaned over the back of the couch, "Kevin Stoley is here. He has a question."

Craig twisted around to give Kevin an uninterested look.

"Yeah?" He nodded. "What?"

Kevin opened his mouth, then shut it. He squirmed under Craig and Clyde's gazes.

"Um, I, I need to know, ah, um," He chewed his lip, "how...how are you two so cool? You like the same things I do, but no one thinks you two are nerds."

Craig snorted and rolled back to the laptop set up on the coffee table. Clyde covered his laugh with his fist.

"Oh, wow, really, Kevin?" Clyde shook his head. "That's what you ran over here to ask?"

"Yes?  It's very important." Kevin wrung his hands together.

Clyde threw his arm over his shoulder. He patted his chest with a shake of his head.

"Oh, Kevin, my friend, for a nerd you're not that smart," Clyde chided, "Coolness isn't something you can just learn. It's something either you have or you don't."

"But...but what makes you cool? Why do your girlfriends like to be with you?" Kevin paused, then corrected, "Why do your partners like to be with you?"

Without turning around, Craig asked, "Are you asking this because you want a girlfriend? There are plenty of girls closer to your social standing that would date you, dude." He paused the video to get a better look at a picture of some sort of creature.

A blush crept up his face. "N-no, I, ah, just tell me. Why do people like you? Why does Bebe stay with you?"

Craig chuckled, earning a glare from Clyde.

"Weeeeell," Clyde bobbed his head side to side, "girls like me because I'm super handsome and charismatic. Bebe thinks I'm the best boy ever--no matter what happened today." Clyde flipped Craig the bird, which he returned without looking up from the laptop.

"Yeah, well, Tweek likes me because...uuuuh..." Craig straightened up as he thought. "I don't know, man. Fate or something? I'm ten times hotter than Clyde?" He propped himself up on the couch to question, "What girl do you want to date so bad? All the cool girls don't seem like your...type."

"There's not a girl!" Kevin lied, "I, I just want to be cool."

"Why? You have friends. You don't sit alone at lunch. No one bullies you more than anyone else." Craig ticked off on his fingers. "You're even on the basketball team. What's the point?"

Craig's probing stare made sweat spring up on Kevin's skin before narrowing his eyes. Even Clyde started giving him the suspicious look.

"Fine! It's Red!" He blurted out. "We're dating but she doesn't want anyone to know because I'm not as cool as her and I just really want to be able to tell everyone what a cool girlfriend I have!"

Kevin slapped his hand over his mouth and backed out of Clyde's grasp.

"Oh, shoot! Please, you can't tell anyone. She'll be mad at me."

Clyde's mouth hung open while Craig wrinkled his nose.

"Eeeeeew, gross." Craig stuck out his tongue as Clyde demanded, "How?!"

"I don't know?"

"Red is...and you are...but Red is hot!" Clyde gasped. "She's cool and I dated her once. Why would someone like her date someone like you?"

Kevin started, "Well, we both like sci-fi and comics and stuff, and I was at the library and we wanted to check out the same book and--"

"But she's hot!" Clyde cut in.

Craig jumped off the couch. He walked beside Clyde to grabbed hold of the back of his shirt and pull it over his head, leaving his friend tangled in cotton fabric.

"Shut up about my cousin!" Craig snapped. "She's not hot. She's a loser and a nerd, just like Kevin. They're perfect for each other."

"Red is not a loser!" Kevin defended. "And neither am I. Just tell me what to do to make her ok with being seen with me."

Clyde disentangled himself from his shirt with a suck of breath. He smoothed out his hair and readjusted his clothes.

"Ok, you know what, yeah, yeah, ok, I'll help you be cool," Clyde proclaimed. "We just need to fix your hair, and your voice, and your face..."

Craig took his cellphone from his pocket as Kevin asked what was wrong with his hair, voice, and face.  He took a few steps backwards before heading into the kitchen.

---

Bebe finished tallying up the questionnaire with a flourish of her pen. Red rested her chin in her hands as she laid on her stomach on Bebe's bed.

"Ok, so, according to this quiz, your perfect guy is a hunky scientist," Bebe exclaimed. "How sweet, Red. You'll be like Marrie Currie!"

"Dying of radiation poisoning?" Red laughed, taking the test to make sure Bebe tallied right.

"No, like, working with your man and winning the Nobel prize in science or something. You're really good at science." Bebe elaborated.

"I'm not that good," Red rolled her eyes. She was good at science, actually, very good. It's just so interesting and cool, but if she owned up to that, Bebe might think she was bragging.

"Yes, you are!" She pushed her shoulder. "You're going to do some cool space science things, and I'll discover how to talk to dolphins, and we'll both have really hot hubbies standing by us."

"You mean you'll have Clyde eating all the tiny quiches at the ceremony dinner?" Red teased.

Bebe put her hand to her chest in offense. She opened her mouth to snap something at her when Red's phone rang.

She held up a finger and took it out. She raised an eyebrow. Why was Craig calling her?

"One second." She held the phone to her ear. "Hello? Craig? What do you want?"

"You're dating Kevin Stoley?"

Her heart stopped in her chest. Her gaze whipped towards Bebe. Luckily, Bebe had moved to her desk with the magazine and was copying something down in her notebook.

"What are you talking about?" Red hissed, twisting to sit up with her back away from Bebe.

"Kevin? Kevin Stoley? The nerd? The only Chinese kid we had until like last year? Cosplays Spock every chance he gets?" Craig replied in a deadpan. "Your boyfriend, apparently?"

Red forced a breath through her teeth. "Who told you that?"

"Kevin did. I'm at Clyde's. He came running in demanding to know how to be cool. I--I mean Clyde bullied him into telling us why," Craig explained. "He said he wanted to be cool so you wouldn't be embarrassed by him."

Red's cheeks burned. Hopping to her feet, she told Bebe she needed to take the call to the hall. Bebe nodded understandingly before taking her own phone out to snap a picture of a magazine page.

Once out in the hall, Red demanded, "You bullied him?!"

"I didn't. Didn't you hear me? Clyde did."

She could hear the eye roll in his tone.

"So you are dating then?" he continued.

Red looked up and down the hall then whispered, "Yeah? We are. He's really sweet and smart, and if you keep picking on him, I swear I'll get you, Craig Tucker."

"Wow, breaking out the last name. What are you, Bertha Red, my mom?" Craig mocked. He knew using her first and middle name like that would get under her skin.

"Shut up!" Red ordered. "Just, urgh! What's going on? Is Kevin still there?"

Craig hummed. "Yeah, he is. Clyde is giving him a list of what he can do to be cool like he is."

Red winced. Cool like Clyde? Clyde wasn't really cool. Sure, he acted cool and confident and brave, but everyone knew that was a lie. He cried at the drop of a hat and wouldn't stand up for himself if his friends weren't standing with him. Clyde was just as big of a nerd as Kevin. Why would Kevin ever thing to get tips on coolness from him?

Craig spoke, filling up the silence her stunned reaction caused, "Do you really think Kevin will drag your standing down that far? How do you know dating you wouldn't bring him up?."

The sound of a refrigerator being open came from the other end of the phone, followed by Craig calling to ask Clyde if he could have some orange juice.

Red squirmed against the wall as if Craig was in the hall staring her down. She wasn't sure what would happen if she told everyone she was dating someone as uncool as Kevin.

When Heidi started dating Cartman, she became a laughing stock. Though Kevin wasn't nearly as terrible as Cartman, the last thing Red wanted was to be mocked for liking a nerd.

"You wouldn't understand," she finally replied.

"No, I get it." Craig shifted the phone. "Tweek wasn't all that cool when we started dating, but he's really cool now. I bet it'll be the same thing, at least if you keep Kevin from making too many Star Wars references."

Red groaned. "That's not the same. You and Tweek are cute together because you two are, like, opposites. It's like a dog and a cat playing together!"

Craig swallowed some orange juice on the other end. "Wait, what? Am I the cat? Or the dog?"

"It doesn't matter." Red began to pace, twiddling with the ends of her hair. "We aren't different enough! It's not cute. It's weird that I would be interested in him."

"But not for him to be interested in you?"

"No, because I'm cool and popular."

"Clyde called you 'hot,' and I corrected him that you are a loser and a nerd." Craig teased. "Aren't I a good cousin?"

"Screw you! Stop making fun of me." Red threw her hand up as she came to the end of the hall. "I want to tell people we're dating, but I can't!" She spun on her heels to head back towards Bebe's bedroom. "No one can know that Kevin and I are dat...ing."

Bebe's mouth hung open. The magazine fell from her hands to the floor, falling open to the future spouse quiz.

"You have a boyfriend?!" Bebe gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.

"Shoot!" Red flinched back.

"Red?" Craig's voice almost sounded concerned.

"Craig, I need to go. Talk to you later." Red went to end the call, only to quickly add, "Also go make Clyde stop before he gets Kevin thinking vomiting and mosquitoes are cool."

Before Craig could reply, she clicked end and shove the phone into her pocket.

"You have a boyfriend?" Bebe repeated. "Who? Kevin who? Not Kevin McCormick? He's, like, thirteen and smells like tobacco."

"No, I, um..." Red wracked her brain for a lie but came up with nothing that would be even close to believable. "It's not Kevin McCormick."

Bebe bound up to her. She wrapped her fingers around her arm, buzzing with excitement.

"Then who? Is it that Kevin from fifth grade? Not that Kevin from Middle Park?" Bebe's eyes grew as she searched Red up and down as if she might have a sign on her chest with Kevin's full name.

"Bebe, please, drop it," Red begged. "It's a secret."

"I can keep a secret." Bebe grinned. When Red didn't answer, her face fell in confusion. "What's wrong? Is he a," her voice dropped down, "an adult?"

"No!" Red pushed her away. "I am not dating a grown-up! That's gross."

"Then who is it?" Bebe demanded to know. "You can't just say something like you want to tell people you two are dating but can't. Who is it? The only other Kevin I can think of is..."

She trailed off, brows furrowed.

"Kevin Stoley. Are you dating Kevin Stoley?"

Red's shoulders slumped and she accepted the inevitable.

"Ummm, yes," she admitted, waiting for Bebe to start mocking her for dating Kevin.

"Wow." Bebe pursed her lips. "Kevin Stoley."

The repugnance in Bebe's tone made Red's stomach twist. She had expected it, of course, but instead of making her ashamed, she felt angry.

"He's not that bad!" Red snapped. "Kevin is a sweet guy. He's creative and passionate about what he likes." Red pointed a finger into Bebe's collar bone, moving into her personal space as she spoke. "And he lent me all his 'FlashPoint' comics when the website I was reading them on gave my dad's laptop a virus. He's just as good of a boyfriend as Clyde is!"

Bebe held up her hands in defense. "I never said he wasn't."

Red narrowed her eyes incredulously, taking a step back.

Bebe fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Look, if you want to date him, cool, whatever. Why does it matter?"

Furrowing her brows, Red frowned. "You don't think it's weird on me for dating him? He's a nerd who likes Star Trek and wore a Spock cosplay for a week to school."

Bebe rolled her eyes. "Yeah? So?" She shrugged. "Clyde brought a jar of mosquitoes with him everywhere for two weeks. Pointy alien elf ears are nothing compared to that."

"Klingon." Red corrected automatically. "They're Klingon ears."

This time Bebe did roll her eyes, but, Red didn't feel any malcontent from it. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as she had always envisioned.

---

Kevin sighed as he trudged up the school steps. His cool lessons didn't get all that far before Craig can out of the kitchen with a glass of orange juice, eyed Kevin up and down again, then proclaimed he was a lost cause and Clyde was wasting his time.

Before Kevin could stop him, he'd grabbed Clyde and drug him against his will back to the couch to finish watching their video.

While Kevin did enjoy learning about the Moth Man, he couldn't help feel he wasted his time. He didn't learn a thing about being cool or how to fix his face, hair, or voice.

"Hey. Hey, Kevin."

He paused and looked over his shoulder to see Dougie rushing up to him.

"Oh, greetings, Dougie." He flashed him a Volcan Salute, which Dougie returned. Dougie vibrated with contagious excitement.

"Did you go see the movie this weekend?" He asked. "I did. I went with my mom and Butters. I liked the music and how the ships look. What did you like?"

Kevin's uplifted mood fell as he remembered what happened right after the movie.

"The lasers, I guess," He muttered, looking at his shoes. One of the laces was double knotted and the other wasn't. He'd have to fix that before class--like an uncool nerd.

A hand slipped around his hand, taking him from his thoughts.

"My favorite part was how the captain defeated the alien with the water and electricity," Red chirped, leaning against Kevin's side, nearly toppling him over with her greater size.

Dougie turned a shocked, wide-eyed face to Kevin. Kevin kept his own shocked, wide-eyed face fixed on Red.

What was she doing? Why was she holding his hand in front of everyone outside of the school? He could feel all the eyes of the other kids on them and hear their whispers.

"R-Red?" Kevin stammered. "You're holding my hand."

"Well, duh," she threw her hair over her shoulder, "we are dating."

A collective gasp came from all the students around them. Red turned a sharp glare towards them, and everyone spun around. Kevin half expected them to start whistling nonchalantly.

Dougie took a step back. He waved goodbye to Kevin before bolting off, leaving the two alone to talk.

"We are, but, you don't like..." he shook his head. "Aren't I too uncool?"

She nodded. "Yeah, you are, but it's ok now."

Kevin frowned and looked down at himself. Did something change since yesterday? Did he get super buff and handsome while he slept last night? Maybe he did go to a fantasy world last night and just didn't remember, but when he looked down, he didn't see anything different, except the little stain from the meatloaf last night on his stomach.

"It is?" Kevin asked. "Why?"

"Well, I just figured it was stupid to act like I did. It wasn't fair to you, either." Red explained, squeezing his hand. "Also, I told Bebe last night, and Bebe said she wanted to double date with you and Clyde, so you can make sure Clyde doesn't do something silly or embarrassing so it doesn't matter anymore. Bebe has my back, and because she does, so do all the other girls."

Kevin furrowed his brow. "I don't get it."

She smiled softly at him. "It's ok. You don't need to know how all the science works to enjoy Star Trek."

He still didn't fully get it but decided to employ his suspension of disbelief towards the inner workings of girl social structure.

"Oh, well, if that's ok with you, then it's ok with me." Kevin felt giddy. He could walk through the school halls hand in hand with his girlfriend. They could talk about science or Star Trek in the middle of recess.

He dared to give Red a kiss on the cheek. To his surprise, she blushed but didn't get mad at him. With a  laugh, Red began to pull him down the hallway.

[warpcorewarrior]

Personal Log

These last few days have been... difficult. No, impossible... Tom... Tom and I... have been- 

Dammit! This is ridiculous, I’m one line in and I’m already crying. Perfect. Some Klingon I am.... Pause log. 

Resume log. 

Lieutenant Paris and I have been repairing the Flyer. The captain made us work together, so I’ve been throwing myself into it. He thinks I was late to our shift this morning because I wasn’t there until 0800. I know he noticed my arrival time: he gave me a look. What he doesn’t know is that I wasn’t late, not really. I was coming back after a break. I worked on the repairs for 5 hours in the middle of the night, with the beta crew. I’m not sleeping so I might as well be doing something useful. And I’m trying to get the Flyer done as quickly as possible because I can’t... I can’t be this close to him. Not right now. 

He’s right there, but not there, the way that I want him to be. Every time I see him, or hear him, or smell him... I can’t breathe, my stomach clenches. It takes everything I have not to sob, or vomit, or collapse. I pretend to be so angry, but I’m actually... Devastated isn’t a strong enough word. I’m broken and I don’t know how to fix myself. Ha. An engineer’s worst nightmare, not being able to fix something. 

Yesterday Tom brought me lunch... 

Why? ... 

Ugh... I wish he would stop being so nice. It’s so confusing. It’s only making this harder... 

Enough about that. My staff has been complaining about their workload. Pfft. They need to suck it up. There’s always so much to do around here. Actually, Chakotay told me they have been lying to him, making false accusations. Telling him that I’m causing injuries. Okay, so maybe I’ve been assigning a few extra tasks this week, but I would NEVER jeopardize the safety of anyone. Never. But... I know I shouldn’t take this out on them, so I’ll try to lighten up. 

I went to that movie last night. Titanic. I debated going, I didn’t really feel like being social, especially because “movie night” is... his thing. But I’ve always wanted to see it. So I snuck in a few minutes late and sat in the back. Unfortunately he was also sitting in the back, but he’d already fallen asleep. I think he’s been working too hard on this project... Anyway, when the romance between Jack and Rose started... I couldn’t watch it. Not with Tom sitting less than 2 meters away. 

So I left. And bumped into a very late, very disheveled looking couple. At least Kathryn and Chakotay got over whatever was bothering them. I’m so happy for them. Just, it’s hard to watch right now... I’m a terrible friend... 

I’ve been gone a while, I better get back to the Flyer. Hopefully no one will be able to tell I’ve been crying...

End log.

[data-is-my-favorite-android]

Star Trek: Discovery Theories

Okay, I know this isn’t the normal stuff I post--and in fact I haven’t posted in a loooong time--but I’ve been watching Star Trek: Discovery and after that bombshell of an episode (or really, the last few episodes), I have a few theories about where the show is going to go from here.

First, some background:

In the Prime Universe

We know that the spore drive doesn’t become a Federation fixture in any of the known canon through Voyager.

We know that Klingon cloaking technology continues to be a problem through TOS and even beyond.

We also know that Spock never mentions a foster sister (we could chalk this up to Spock--and Sarek, for that matter--being private individuals).

In the Mirror Universe

We know that the Empire continues to “thrive” during TOS and beyond.

We also know that spore technology does not seem to become a fixture of the Mirror Universe.

Okay, so those are things we already know. Using this and also considering what makes the most sense narrative-wise from my perspective, here are my theories.

Theory One: Super Cosmic Road Trip Across the Multiverse!

Discovery escapes the Mirror Universe, but ends up in another parallel and not the Prime universe. The show ends up going on to explore more parallels. Maybe they are looking for something to bring back to the Prime universe, maybe they’re trying to find a roundabout way back (with the traditional jump way being blocked somehow), or maybe they simply can’t get back for some reason. Whatever the case, they spend a lot of time dimension hopping.

I like this theory for several reasons. First, it would free Discovery from being limited by canon. Honestly Star Trek canon, especially in this window between Enterprise and TOS, can be cumbersome. This would also neatly explain why such an OP technology as spore drive never makes it into general circulation--the Glenn’s unfortunate accident and the Discovery’s disappearance proves to The Powers That Be that spore tech is too volatile--and the Klingon cloak continues to be an issue. It might even explain why Michael is never mentioned by Spock or Sarek; she’s gone and there is no logical reason to bring it up. Maybe her disappearance, along with the rest of the Discovery, is classified.

Second, it would create an interesting situation for the crew, particularly concerning how to deal with Tyler/Voq, L’Rell, and possibly Mirror!Lorca. If they returned to the Prime Universe, Tyler/Voq and L’Rell would soon exit the ship (and possibly the show) into a Federation detainment facility and mirror!Lorca (if he survives, and I think he will) would also be in quite a pickle. If the Klingons were “defeated”, that could mean the end of Michael’s storyline; true, she might be pardoned, but then she might also just be put back in prison.

If they were in another parallel, however, Tyler/Voq and L’Rell would eventually be integrated into the crew. Mirror!Lorca could continue to be the captain. Everyone has to work together and learn about each other. Between this and the first point, the name of the ship (and the show) would gain additional meaning.

There are hints this is where the story is going already, most notably how in episode 9 the whole prospect of exploring the multiverse was brought up and emphasized. This might have only been because the show was about to go to the MU, but honestly, what else are they going to do with a spore drive? I suppose they could abandon the tech on their return, but that would so fundamentally change the nature of the ship that there’d almost be no point to the show anymore. In Star Trek the ship is a fixture in itself, almost a character in its own right.

This theory has a few holes: what do they do with the information regarding the Klingon cloaking device, for instance? What about the war with the Klingons? What about Michael’s so overdue father-daughter discussion with Sarek?

It’s hard to answer these questions with certainty, obviously, but I can try.

Regarding the Klingon cloaking device data, maybe they get an opportunity to utilize it somehow in one or more of the parallels. Maybe they can’t do anything with it at all (they did only spend one episode on that plot point, after all). As for the Klingon war, maybe they see different iterations of it through the parallels. Maybe it’s relevant in indirect ways, or maybe the war was just used as a backdrop to inform the characters and set up the rest of the show. As for Sarek, his connection with Michael, and their promised “talk”, maybe their entwined katras can enable communication across space, time, and dimension like the mycellial network (this was hinted at in Lethe, too).

This theory would really take Star Trek: Discovery to a place no other Star Trek has gone before, and I think it’s the most exciting possibility.

Theory Two: Super Cosmic Road Trip Across the Multiverse Time

I’ve seen this bounced around a few times already, actually. Discovery returns to the Prime Universe but appears in the wrong time, probably the future. This could also keep the crew together, integrating the Klingon and maybe mirror! elements together with everyone else. The justice system might be different, therefore the prisoners can’t be turned in to the authorities. Discovery explores the future instead of the multiverse/fighting the war with the Klingons in their original time.

This could be neat and would also free up Discovery to make its own rules and canon. Exploring time could be interesting. Basically this is just Theory One with time travel instead of interdimensional multiverse hopping.

Theory Three: Everything is Awful in Primetime

Discovery does return to its native timeline. Tyler/Voq and L’Rell escape, possibly destroying the data about the Klingon cloaking device and maybe even the spore drive. I think this isn’t that likely, tbh, but it’s worth throwing out there. Tyler/Voq and L’Rell possibly become the Big Bads, but might become unexpected allies. If Lorca is Mirror!Lorca(and he isn’t dead), he is turned over to the authorities (either for being from the MU or simply for being psychologically unstable). We get a new captain or Saru becomes captain--and personally I don’t think he’s ready for that.

I suppose if the Lorca we know is mirror!Lorca and prime!Lorca isn’t dead, prime!Lorca could return to the PU with the Discovery. But that feels kinda cheap from a narrative perspective, just doin’ the whole switcharoo and going on like nothing happened.

I also think this one would just really really suck. Everything the Discovery worked so hard for would be stripped away from them. It’d be so emotionally heavy and hopeless it would negate the progress made over the entire first season of the show.

Theory Four: Let’s Hit the Reset Button

Through spore shenanigans, Stamets resets time, undoing the damage that has already been done (Culber’s death, Tyler’s sudden transition to Voq (or if he can’t undo that, then at least anticipate it), maybe even prevent them from going to the MU in the first place). I like this theory the least of all. Believe me, I want all the shit that happened to be undone. I love Hugh. I love Tyler. I love Michael. I don’t want anyone to suffer. But I also know that out of all the options, this one is the most handwave-y, plot device-y, narrative-breaking one. Like, if Stamets can do all that, he can do anything. He’s already got some pretty God-tier shit going on, and if he could reset time at will? Where do you even go from there?

Incidentally, I do think that Stamets will be able to bring Hugh back to life. I’m not sure how yet, but it’s going to happen. I hope it happens in such a way that emphasizes that while Stamets has tremendous capabilities, he can’t just resurrect every fallen crew member ever.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts. Honestly I’d really love a plot that eventually gets everyone to work together. Integrating the Klingons into the crew somehow would be really interesting, and if Lorca is an MU native his continued presence on the Discovery could provide some interesting material as well. Star Trek has always emphasized a message of unity and coexistence regardless of origins, and Discovery specifically has focused on personal and interpersonal discovery as well as scientific exploration. The first two theories seem most aligned with these principles and offer the most freedom from canon and productive possibilities. Whatever the case, I’m currently still really happy with the series and can’t wait to see where Discovery takes us next!

[ltbroccoli-archive]

ST ask meme - ALL OF THEM

Star Trek ask meme

Under a read more, because long.

1. Top 3 favorite female characters? Kathryn Janeway, Seven of Nine, Uhura.

2. Top 3 favorite male characters? Reg Barclay, Rom, Data.

3. Top 3 least favorite characters? Katherine Pulaski, Wesley Crusher, Jadzia Dax. (I said Travis Mayweather on my other post but he’s honestly tied with Jadzia.)

4. Favorite alien species? I really enjoy the Borg. Voyager ruined them just the tiniest bit though, by overusing them.

5. Episode plot you wish they had handled differently? Several are coming to mind, but I think I’m actually gonna go with the Enterprise finale. Which I don’t remember terribly well but I remember that it sucked. Riker and Troi? Seriously? The least that show could have done was end on a reasonably high note. Granted it was never a great show in the first place…

6. Character you feel a show could have done without? Pulaski was so utterly unnecessary, and just horrible. I realize they wanted Gates McFadden gone, which was also a mistake. Just let her stay through the whole thing.

7. Who would make up your crew dream team? Captain Janeway, First Officer Spock, Chief Engineer Reg Barclay, Doctor EMH, Tactical Officer Worf, the rest can just fight for it idk.

8. Which captain would you most want to serve under? It’s a toss up between Picard and Janeway… I think Janeway wins by the tiniest bit. Picard would also be awesome.

9. Which episode plot do you prefer?

     a. Time traveling to the past or dealing with time travelers from the future? The past. I love time travel everything give me all the time travel please.

     b. Going undercover to spy on enemies or going undercover to explore pre-warp planets? Probably the enemies, but it really depends on the episode.

    c. Holodeck malfunction or space anomaly? Depends what the holodeck malfunction is and what the space anomaly is. Holodeck malfunctions are always stupid, but we need to know if it’s the good kind of stupid.

    d. Ship being taken over or being stranded on a planet? Taken over.

    e. Rapid aging or de-aging? De-aging. “Rascals” is a gift.

    f. Diplomatic negotiations or all out battle? Both? Both is good. (Negotiate to stop the battle.)

10. Which alien pet would you most want for your own? The unicorn dog.

11. Top 3 OTPs? Janeway/Chakotay, Doctor/Seven, Rom/Leeta

12. Top 3 NOTPs? Chakotay/Seven (seriously wtf), Dukat/Winn, Garak/Ziyal

13. A ship you wish had been canon and why? Garak and Bashir. They had great chemistry from their very first scene and it’s just such an interesting pair.

14. A ship you wish hadn’t been canon and why? Garak/Ziyal. She’s barely legal. They were only doing it so the Garak/Bashir shippers had no chance. It didn’t make sense. It was forced.

15. Top 3 favorite alien crewmembers? Spock, Worf, Seven of Nine.

16. If you could steal the basic plot of an episode for one show and apply to another which would you choose? Well Enterprise directly stole plots from other shows multiple times… honestly I can’t think of any.

17. What role would you have aboard a starship? Science officer…? Engineer? One of those.

18. If you had to fight a character who would you choose? Pulaski.

19. You can undo one plot point, which do you choose? Dukat joining the Pah-Wraiths. That’s the exact moment his arc went from absolutely incredible to just… a piece of shit.

20. Which piece of technology do you wish existed in reality? Transporter.

21. What kind of stories do you hope the new show does? Explore current issues. Make important points about our current world. Make people uncomfortable. Make people examine themselves and how they behave.

22. Would you rather serve on a starship or a space station? Space station, probably.

23. Favorite tropes? The non-human character trying to figure out what the hell humans are even doing.

24. Which character do you relate to the most? Reg Barclay.

25. Favorite villain(s)? Dukat, the Borg, the Dominion.

26. Which alien hybrid offspring are you most interested in seeing? Uh… this is really not something I thought about before. Maybe a Bolian and a Klingon. See how that one works out. (Yeah I just kinda picked two random races…)

27. What do you wish they had handled differently? A lot of Reg’s later TNG episodes treated him as comic relief. I would have liked to see more of him in a serious light and less comedic. And also directly acknowledging that he has anxiety of some kind, whatever that might be, would be great.

28. Character(s) you want to cosplay as? I really don’t do much cosplay, I’d be happy just to have a StarFleet uniform.

29. Favorite and least favorite episodes? I’ll just go one from each show, this is hard. These might not be the absolutes but they’re what popped into my head first.

Favorites - “The City on the Edge of Forever”, “Realm of Fear”, “Far Beyond the Stars”, “Bride of Chaotica!”, sorry I can’t consider any ENT episode to be a favorite.

Least favorites - “The Mark of Gideon”, “Sub Rosa”, “The Muse”, “Year of Hell”, “These Are the Voyages…”

30. Something you wish you could delete from canon? That ghost trying to bang Crusher? Yeah I completely skipped that episode on my rewatch, no thank you.

31. A crossover with another show/movie/book/ect, that you’d want to see? Doctor Who, Stargate, or Firefly.

32. F/M/K. I dunno. Someone give me three choices and I’ll answer this.

33. Whose twitter feed would you most want to follow? Data’s would be a blast, I think.

34. What do you think *insert character*’s tumblr would be full of? Someone has to send a character. Since I write Reg, I will say that Reg’s Tumblr would be cats, advice for dealing with anxiety, cool space pictures, cats, engineering facts, and cats.

35. A minor character you wish had become a main character? Reg Barclay. I always want more Reg Barclay.

36. A social issue you hope the new show tackles and how? Actual gay people would be nice.

37. Character A and Character B get into a fight, who wins? I need characters.

38. *Insert crew here* is thrown back in time to *insert time period here*, how do they handle it, which fashion trends do they pick up, who threatens the timeline the most, who is saddest when they have to leave, who is most knowledgeable, who stands out the most, ect? Again, I need things. Also this would take forever to answer, so…

39. You have to relocate to a planet other than Earth, which do you choose? …Vulcan? Andoria? Some Earth colony? Yeah probably an Earth colony, if there’s a nice big one.

40. If you got a trek inspired tattoo what would it be? I don’t think I’d get a tattoo… but I mean, if I were forced to get one at gunpoint for some reason, maybe the IDIC medallion on my ankle or something simple like that.

41. Which episode(s) creeped out/scared you the most? “Night Terrors”, the TNG episode where the crew can’t dream. When Crusher’s in the morgue and all the corpses are suddenly sitting up? I lost it the first time I saw that as a kid. Still creeps me the fuck out.

42. Which episode(s) made you cry? “Real Life”, the VOY episode with the Doctor’s holographic family that you never see again. I don’t know why that one got to me but it got to me.

43. Order of shows from most to least favorite? Deep Space 9, Next Generation, Voyager, Original Series, Enterprise, Animated. Honestly DS9, TNG, VOY, and TOS are all at about the same level for me, I love them all but in different ways. ENT is a noticeable step down in quality and TAS is uh… yeah.

44. If *insert crew* ended up in the modern day what would amaze them the most? Gotta give me a crew.

45. Which alien culture would you most want to live in/would feel most comfortable? Denobulans would be super friendly, I feel like.

46. If they rebooted *insert show here* who out of modern day actors would you pick to play the main characters? No more reboots.

47. An unpopular opinion you have? Jadzia Dax is the worst character on DS9. She’s an annoying know-it-all who can apparently do no wrong. She also has no character development to speak of and her episodes were always the most boring, despite the Trill being a fascinating race. Worf deserved better. Also, Terry Farrell never seemed the right choice for the part. I was glad to see her go and I genuinely don’t understand why this fandom worships the ground she walks on.

48. Sort the crew of *insert show here* into Hogwarts houses. Someone want to send a show?

49. A favorite ST fic? I don’t read much fanfic, actually. I did read one where Q was trying to help Reg get over his stage fright. That was pretty funny. I can’t remember where it was or I’d link to it.

50. A random headcanon? At some point after the episode “Hollow Pursuits”, Reg Barclay gave Deanna Troi a damn good (and completely genuine) apology for recreating her on the holodeck for make out sessions.