#real people exist who are neurodivergent or disabled and need accommodation

[writingjourney]

Good to know that the immediate reaction of people seeing that Copia might be wearing shoes or clothes with velcro is to be ableist as fuck.

[drchucktingle]

THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT

hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.

while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.

i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously

lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 

unfortunately i will also have to decline.

the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.

sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.

this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.

but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.

regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?

without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.

to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?

so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’

[dysgeographica]

what’s dysgeographica?

dysgeographica, also known as developmental topographical disorientation, is a form of neurodivergence in which a person has difficulty creating mental maps, orienting themselves or a location in space, and navigating from place to place.

some common symptoms of dysgeographica include:

getting lost easily, even in one's own neighborhood or other extremely familiar locations

difficulty memorizing even simple or frequently traveled routes

no internal compass (i.e. no sense of which way one is facing or if one has been turned around)

no sense of where familiar locations are in relation to each other

difficulty making a mental map of a building or area's layout

uncertainty about which direction a location is in, even if one knows how to get there

complete reliance on GPS navigation while traveling

rigidly following one familiar route to get somewhere, even if a better route may be available

anxiety around driving a car due to lack of confidence in one's ability to navigate as the driver

is dysgeographica just a poor sense of direction?

while many people struggle to read maps or navigate unfamiliar places, being dysgeographic means struggling with very familiar locations as well as unfamiliar ones, potentially getting lost in one's own neighborhood or workplace.

additionally, while someone who just has a poor sense of direction will generally still be able to move through the world and perform daily life activities with little to no added difficulty or distress, dysgeographic people will often find that their difficulty navigating makes day-to-day functioning more difficult (e.g. being late to work regularly due to getting lost, not being able to drive a car or travel alone).

is dysgeographica part of adhd/autism/etc?

it is possible to have dysgeographica with comorbid autism, adhd, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, etc. it's also possible to experience dysgeographic symptoms as secondary to one of those (e.g. having trouble navigating due to adhd inattention).

that being said, dysgeographica is not inherently connected to any other form of neurodivergence, and can be the only neurodivergence someone has. you don't need to be diagnosed with anything else to have dysgeographica.

is dysgeographica a disability?

yes, dysgeographica is a neurodevelopmental disability.

it is not, however, recognized as such by the DSM or ICD, despite research showing evidence of its existence and the impact it can have on people's lives. that doesn’t mean it’s not a real disability — what it does mean is that it can be very difficult (if not impossible) to get accommodations.

while dysgeographica would most likely not be categorized as a specific learning disability, it does have some overlap with dyscalculia and dyslexia, and can be considered a “cousin” of the specific learning disabilities much in the same way as dyspraxia.

[leonidskies]

I get that having sensory issues sucks but! Some people (looking particularly at people who say 'I can't stand being near x type of person') are gonna have to get used to sensory discomfort sometimes. You cannot ever demand that people act or present themselves in a way that serves your individual needs for maximum comfort.

You can't stand people who speak too loudly? You're going to have to embrace that discomfort for the sake of people with difficulty controlling their own volume, or people with hearing difficulties who don't know how loud they are, or children who haven't learned "indoor voices" yet, because we exist in the same world.

You can't stand when people smell a certain way? You're going to have to get used to the fact that some people can't use certain hygiene products because of skin conditions, or they haven't been able to freshen up because they can't use public facilities or have no access to private facilities, or it's warm out and they have to cover up (cool fact: you can get real warm wearing a mask but I'm sure as hell not taking it off so I won't sweat so much).

You find other people's habits distracting or add too much to your sensory load? You're going to have to continue to exist in the same spaces as other autistic, ADHD, or other neurodivergent people and either treat them with the same grace you would expect them to treat you or accept that they're less willing or able to mask their neurodivergence.

Sensory processing disorder and other disabilities or health issues that cause sensory sensitivities are disabilities and deserve to be accommodated. However, your comfort is not the only need and you cannot subtly or unsubtly advocate for the removal of other disabled or marginalised people from society for the sake of your comfort, and you deserve better than removing yourself from society instead. Make adjustments for yourself and others where you can and be kind to the people you share the world with.

[exeggcute]

the pendulum of opinion swingeth I guess. and swingeth wildly lol. the "addiction isn't real" shit feels a lot like the "disability is primarily a social/accessibility issue (rather than a medical issue)" shit to me because I think they both mean well and come from the same impulse (i.e., a desire not to pathologize traits that are actually "normal"/common/otherwise value-neutral) but do so in a way that not only starts with a conclusion and works backwards to prove it, which is obviously not the best approach, but also tries to hard to dodge an existing pitfall that it creates new and exciting pitfalls in the process.

uncharitable 2 AM thoughts but chewing it over I also am starting to wonder if like, okay. zeroing in on the disability part here because I think that's both a broader category and further up the river of conclusions. I do kind of get the sense that the "in a perfectly just and accommodating world, no one would be disabled" angle tends to come most forcefully from people whose perspective on disability either focuses solely on neurodivergence or on (surface-level) mobility issues specifically. things that affect how you navigate the world, essentially. because those are for sure two areas where social improvements have a huge and positive impact! maybe even two areas where you could reasonably argue that social improvements are enough to remove the barriers that "disable" people in a verb way, full stop.

but extrapolating that to all forms of disability is less useful, because not all disabilities are primarily issues of accessibility, and if it's not broadly true across the board then I think its fair to say it's just basically not true. you end up glossing over too much shit. not that social improvements aren't helpful, but many disabilities come from the fact that your body needs to do certain things to stay alive but is not always good at doing them properly, so you're gonna have to address that directly at some point. I don't think it's an accessibility issue when your trachea collapses or your kidneys start to give out or your immune system starts tearing up the wires in your spine. and yeah you could circle back to say, well, the accessibility piece here is really about access to treatment, which is fair! but that still requires finding and developing treatment in the first place, which leads us back to the "this is a pathology to fix/address" thing. permanent treatment or otherwise. I guess I think it's not only true that some states of physiological equilibrium are like, objectively ideal, but also possible to accept that premise without fucking over anyone who isn't in that equilibrium. or even zooming out, I think it's possible to strive for a cure to to "my body is bad at surviving"-type conditions in a way that doesn't also imply that the people with those conditions are not worthy of surviving otherwise. and I think that if we ever figure out a cure for celiac disease there's gonna be parades in the streets

[lilycelebi-side-blog]

We don't usually get this personal on Tumblr dot com. This'll be once in a blue moon:

We are technically disabled (less disabled than the people around us at home, but nonetheless, technically disabled, at one point diagnosed and receiving resources and accommodations from our school).

We are neurodivergent and are a DID system.

We caretake for a physically disabled person who could not go without us at the moment, along with her husband on and off.

We are a trans guy, approved for one surgery, seeking one other in the future.

We are the "bureaucrats" they want to target and replace with their own people, threatening our job, which is our only way out of a still-abusive home (albeit less so than in the past -- more just... lingering emotional pain and daily yelling/jabs in the background, nothing serious). This job is our dream job in social climate, flexibility, remote/work-at-home status, and literally everything else. It is also our first real career. It means so much to us....

We are a bunch of things they do not want to exist -- and we are lucky there aren't more. We could be part of many other groups of people that hold these same fears, or much, much worse ones. They have us and many, many others on their agenda for elimination.

Let me tell you, if they take our rights, job, and resources away, we will fight like hell. It's the only choice left. We especially need to exercise the privileges we've been extended.

What that fight will entail, we do not know yet. What we do know is that we exist now, and we must continue to exist. Existing in itself is fighting back. Existing in itself is rebellion against everything they want to target. It is the first step in any level of resistance.

We did everything right, everything that was laid in front of us that we were told from birth to do -- we didn't fail or make a single mistake, no matter how much pain and adversity it took. We were perfectly obedient and met gargantuan, superhuman demands and expectations. This life has been an extremely painful but worthwhile journey of growth that we are grateful to have been given the opportunity to have lived, despite -- and, controversially, including -- all abuses endured.

They do NOT get to target us, persecute us, or steal the resources we worked extremely hard for -- we WILL live. We MUST live.

Please, people, live! We need to band together and have each other's backs. We need to unite, especially in spirit. It is the first step to whatever comes down the line.

We understand your feelings of apprehension, tension, hopelessness, helplessness, loneliness, disappointment, anger, frustration, mortification, and many more. Channel these high levels of energy toward living -- living stubbornly, vehemently, in the corner of their eye.

We need to defend the right to exist, the right to freely express ourselves (especially the outcasts, weirdos, and freaks!), the right to celebrate our differences and diversity, the right to have community solidarity, and the right to claim resources we have rightfully earned, and we can first do that by continuing to exist.

Thank you, Salem, for the words of encouragement.

We will, for once, be courageous and make a real post/reblog. We very, very much fear posting opinions too openly on the internet, but now is the time. It is the least we can do. This is what pride is about.

I said this months ago but I'll say it again: if you're transgender you HAVE TO LIVE

[bumblebeerror]

thank you for your advice, bumble.

unfortunately, i don't think my life is going to be improving anytime soon. my life just got a whole lot worse.

i had a very terrible argument/fight with my mom (the only person i still talk to) on sunday, it escalated horribly and we haven't spoken or seen each other since.

this morning, she sent me a text saying that she will no longer be communicating with me at all, which means she's essentially going no-contact with me.

given that she was the only human being i interacted with, and she just said she's done with me forever, this means i don't have anybody left. on top on having no friends, i have also lost my family now. i have nobody but myself. i'm all alone now.

i know you don't want to hear this, but i don't have anybody else to tell.

anyways, i'll try the app out i guess. as for the whole seeing i therapist and getting on medication thing, even if i wanted to, i couldn't because i can't afford it. but i guess i will search for other healthy coping mechanisms.

i'd just really like to be a person who doesn't need any coping mechanisms to be happy and healthy. a person who can just exist in their natural state and be happy. one day i hope to be that, but i have doubts, considering i keep hitting new lows, day after day.

Buddy I’m gonna be so real rn and it’s not an attempt to make you feel worse - there is no human on this earth who doesn’t have some form of coping mechanism. Even neurotypical folks have coping mechanisms, they just happen to be taught along with most schooling and half-decent upbringings, so they don’t have to seek out new ones. They’re all built-in.

I can absolutely say without any doubt that every neurodivergent person I have ever met has the wish that they didn’t need to learn new coping methods in order to be happy. I don’t blame you one iota for wanting that - its the main objective of mental health and disability advocates that neurodivergent folks be accommodated for so that we aren’t all stuck in this struggle to find coping methods at all times.

I’m sorry you fought with your mom. Having that last bit of outside interaction shut down is a massive blow, I’m not surprised it’s made you feel real low. Is it possible at all for you to reach out to other family, even more distant ones? Even if it’s very surface level, it might help just to know you have people outside your home who you can talk to about little things. Not that I mind at all reading your messages - I was actually looking forward to your response now that we’re more chatting :D

If you want to try Finch, I’ll happily add you to my friends list on it, here’s my link: Tap the link to add me as a friend, or add my friend code W3G8G5RZAK if you’ve already started. I do hope it helps - there’s loads of mental health content on it, including a bunch of mental health “first aid” stuff, guided breathing exercises, journaling stuff, meditations, all that. App’s free, the membership just unlocks extra decorative items and more in-depth mental health activities. There’s a bunch of pre-made journeys with goals in them, if you’re already pretty good at day to day needs - groups of tasks that help you reach out to others or remember to enjoy your day in little pieces. Pressing the little cards icon will show you all that stuff.

[ If you’re worried about me knowing anything abt you, I can only see the name you enter and the name of your baby bird, as well as your bird’s house if you don’t turn it off. I can’t see anything else you do. ]

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

Okay.

I have a theory / sort of question about neurotypicals.

(¿Is it just me, or...does this actually make sense to others too?)

Neurotypicals communicate indirectly a lot. Most of us know that. They’ll use body language, unspoken rules, “meaningful” eye contact, figurative language (analogies, metaphors, similes), etc. to “beat around the bush” (a metaphor meaning to hint at the real topic you’re discussing but never actually say it or explain it explicitly).

But many of them also use passive aggression. Not all of them though.

So...

Maybe the neurotypicals who use passive aggression as a form of indirect communication are traumatized & emotionally immature (because trauma).They’re people who were harmed by their own social rules, social hierarchies, & their (neurotypical) community.

So they now lash out (aggression) at people who are (1) different & in need of equity/accommodations (neurodivergent, BIPOC, disabled), (2) stating theories or facts they don’t like, (3) questioning the social rules, “norms”, hierarchies, & communities they’re a part of or accepted by (coincidentally, as I am doing right now), &/or (4) existing outside the social rules, “norms”, hierarchies, & communities they feel trapped inside. Or they lash out more subtly with (1) guilt trips (you did something bad) & shaming (you are bad), (2) passive aggression, &/or (3) dismissal of another’s perspective (often finding an excuse to not listen, such as “I have a better job than you”).

That’s not to say neurodivergent people can’t do this either, but it seems like neurotypicals do it more often.

It’s like instead of their usual indirect communication styles (body language, eye contact, assumptions & unspoken rules, etc.) they turn to ones that give them power, control, &/or assumed hierarchy above other people (oppression/suppression, bullying/abuse/domestic violence, lashing out, passive aggression).

They’re trying to reclaim the hierarchy they don’t seem to have among their peers by finding someone they can label as “lesser than” in some way (leading to oppressive (-isms (sexism, racism, ableism, antisemitism, etc.) & “phobias” (LGBT phobias (homophobia, a(spec)phobia, transphobia, etc.))) & disrespectful (of personhood) pipelines like “autistic nonverbal = stupid/[r word]”, “BIPOC = bad worker / only good as a slave / lazy”, “woman = slave to man / homemaker only / slut or whore”).

¿Do you see what I mean? ¿Does anyone else see this?

~Warren (he/xey; trauma holder, protector)

[ganymedesclock]

These are questions I've had for some while and it's hard to find someone who'll answer with grace. This mostly relates to disabilities (mental or physical) in fiction.

1) What makes a portrayal of a disability that's harming the character in question ableist?

2) Is there a way to write a disabled villain in a way that isn't ableist?

In the circles I've been in, the common conceptions are you can't use a character's disability as a plot point or showcase it being a hindrance in some manner. heaven forbid you make your villain disabled in some capacity, that's a freaking death sentence to a creative's image. I understand historically villains were the only characters given disabilities, but (and this is my personal experience) I've not seen as many disabled villains nowadays, heck, I see more disabled heroes in media nowadays.

Sorry if this comes off as abrasive, I'd really like to be informed for future media consumption and my own creative endeavors.

Okay so the first thing I'm going to say is that while it IS a good idea to talk to disabled people and get their feedback, disabled people are not a monolith and they aren't going to all have the same take on how this goes.

My personal take is biased in favor that I'm a neurodivergent person (ADHD and autism) who has no real experience with physical disabilities, so I won't speak for physically disabled people- heck, I won't even speak for every neurotype. Like I say, people aren't a monolith.

For myself and my own writing of disabled characters, here's a couple of concepts I stick by:

Research is your friend

Think about broad conventions of ableism

Be mindful of cast composition

1. Research is your friend

Yeah this is the thing everybody says, so here's the main bases I try to cover:

What's the story on this character's disability?

Less in terms of 'tragic angst' and more, what kind of condition this is- because a congenital amputee (that is to say, someone who was born without a limb) will have a different relationship to said limb absence than someone who lost their limb years ago to someone who lost their limb yesterday. How did people in their life respond to it, and how did they respond to it? These responses are not "natural" and will not be the same to every person with every worldview. This can also be a great environment to do worldbuilding in! Think about the movie (and the tv series) How To Train Your Dragon. The vikings in that setting don't have access to modern medicine, and they're, well, literally fighting dragons and other vikings. The instance of disability is high, and the medical terminology to talk about said disabilities is fairly lackluster- but in a context where you need every man you possibly can to avoid the winter, the mindset is going to be not necessarily very correct, but egalitarian. You live in a village of twenty people and know a guy who took a nasty blow to the head and hasn't quite been the same ever since? "Traumatic Brain Injury" is probably not going to be on your lips, but you're also probably going to just make whatever peace you need to and figure out how to accommodate Old Byron for his occasional inability to find the right word, stammers and trembles. In this example, there are several relevant pieces of information- what the character's disability is (aphasia), how they got it (brain injury), and the culture and climate around it (every man has to work, and we can't make more men or throw them away very easily, so, how can we make sure this person can work even if we don't know what's wrong with them)

And that dovetails into:

What's the real history, and modern understandings, of this?

This is where "knowing the story" helps a lot. To keep positing our hypothetical viking with a brain injury, I can look into brain injuries, what affects their extent and prognosis, and maybe even beliefs about this from the time period and setting I'm thinking of (because people have had brains, and brain injuries, the entire time!) Sure, if the setting is fantastical, I have wiggle room, but looking at inspirations might give me a guide post.

Having a name for your disorder also lets you look for posts made by specific people who live with the condition talking about their lives. This is super, super important for conditions stereotyped as really scary, like schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. Even if you already know "schizophrenic people are real and normal" it's still a good thing to wake yourself up and connect with others.

2. Think about broad conventions of ableism

It CAN seem very daunting or intimidating to stay ahead of every single possible condition that could affect someone's body and mind and the specific stereotypes to avoid- there's a lot under the vast umbrella of human experience and we're learning more all the time! A good hallmark is, ableism has a few broad tendencies, and when you see those tendencies rear their head, in your own thinking or in accounts you read by others, it's good to put your skeptical glasses on and look closer. Here's a few that I tend to watch out for:

Failing the “heartwarming dog” test

This was a piece of sage wisdom that passed my eyeballs, became accepted as sage wisdom, and my brain magnificently failed to recall where I saw it. Basically, if you could replace your disabled character with a lovable pet who might need a procedure to save them, and it wouldn’t change the plot, that’s something to look into.

Disability activists speak often about infantilization, and this is a big thing of what they mean- a lot of casual ableism considers disabled people as basically belonging to, or being a burden onto, the able-bodied and neurotypical. This doesn’t necessarily even need to have an able neurotypical in the picture- a personal experience I had that was extremely hurtful was at a point in high school, I decided to do some research on autism for a school project. As an autistic teenager looking up resources online, I was very upset to realize that every single resource I accessed at the time presumed it was talking to a neurotypical parent about their helpless autistic child. I was looking for resources to myself, yet made to feel like I was the subject in a conversation.

Likewise, many wheelchair users have relayed the experience of, when they, in their chair, are in an environment accompanied by someone else who isn’t using a chair, strangers would speak to the standing person exclusively, avoiding addressing the chair user. 

It’s important to always remind yourself that at no point do disabled people stop being people. Yes, even people who have facial deformities; yes, even people who need help using the bathroom; yes, even people who drool; yes, even people whose conditions impact their ability to communicate, yes, even people with cognitive disabilities. They are people, they deserve dignity, and they are not “a child trapped in a 27-year-old body”- a disabled adult is still an adult. All of the “trying to learn the right rules” in the world won’t save you if you keep an underlying fear of non-normative bodies and minds.

This also has a modest overlap between disability and sexuality in particular. I am an autistic grayromantic ace. Absolutely none of my choices or inclinations about sex are because I’m too naive or innocent or childlike to comprehend the notion- disabled people have as diverse a relationship with sexuality as any other. That underlying fear- as mentioned before- can prevent many people from imagining that, say, a wheelchair user might enjoy sex and have experience with it. Make sure all of your disabled characters have full internal worlds.

Poor sickly little Tiffany and the Red Right Hand

A big part of fictional ableism is that it separates the disabled into two categories. Anybody who’s used TVTropes would recognize the latter term I used here. But to keep it brief:

Poor, sickly little Tiffany is cute. Vulnerable. How her disability affects her life is that it constantly creates a pall of suffering that she lives beneath. After all, having a non-normative mind or body must be an endless cavalcade of suffering and tragedy, right? People who are disabled clearly spend their every waking moment affected by, and upset, that they aren’t normal!

The answer is... No, actually. Cut the sad violin; even people who have chronic pain who are literally experiencing pain a lot more than the rest of us are still fully capable of living complex lives and being happy. If nothing else, it would be literally boring to feel nothing but awful, and people with major depression or other problems still, also, have complicated experiences. And yes, some of it’s not great. You don’t have to present every disability as disingenuously a joy to have. But make a point that they own these things. It is a very different feeling to have a concerned father looking through the window at his angel-faced daughter rocking sadly in her wheelchair while she stares longingly out the window, compared to a character waking up at midnight because they have to go do something and frustratedly hauling their body out of their bed into their chair to get going.

Poor Sickly Little Tiffany (PSLT, if you will) virtually always are young, and they virtually always are bound to the problems listed under ‘failing the heartwarming dog’ test. Yes, disabled kids exist, but the point I’m making here is that in the duality of the most widely accepted disabled characters, PSLT embodies the nadir of the Victim, who is so pure, so saintly, so gracious, that it can only be a cruel quirk of fate that she’s suffering. After all, it’s not as if disabled people have the same dignity that any neurotypical and able-bodied person has, where they can be an asshole and still expect other people to not seriously attack their quality of life- it’s a “service” for the neurotypical and able-bodied to “humor” them.

(this is a bad way to think. Either human lives matter or they don’t. There is no “wretched half-experience” here- if you wouldn’t bodily grab and yank around a person standing on their own feet, you have no business grabbing another person’s wheelchair)

On the opposite end- and relevant to your question- is the Red Right Hand. The Red Right Hand does not have PSLT’s innocence or “purity”- is the opposite extreme. The Red Right Hand is virtually always visually deformed, and framed as threatening for their visual deformity. To pick on a movie I like a fair amount, think about how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the title character is described- “Strong. Fast. Had a metal arm.” That’s a subtle example, but, think about how that metal arm is menacing. Sure, it’s a high tech weapon in a superhero genre- but who has the metal arm? The Winter Soldier, who is, while a tormented figure that ultimately becomes more heroic- scary. Aggressive. Out for blood.

The man who walks at midnight with a Red Right Hand is a signal to us that his character is foul because of the twisting of his body. A good person, we are led to believe, would not be so- or a good person would be ashamed of their deformity and work to hide it. The Red Right Hand is not merely “an evil disabled person”- they are a disabled person whose disability is depicted as symptomatic of their evil, twisted nature, and when you pair this trope with PSLT, it sends a message: “stay in your place, disabled people. Be sad, be consumable, and let us push you around and decide what to do with you. If you get uppity, if you have ideas, if you stand up to us, then the thing that made you a helpless little victim will suddenly make you a horrible monster, and justify us handling you with inhumanity.”

As someone who is a BIG fan of eldritch horror and many forms of unsettling “wrongness” it is extremely important to watch out for the Red Right Hand. Be careful how you talk about Villainous Disability- there is no connection between disability and morality. People will be good, bad, or simply just people entirely separate from their status of ability or disability. It’s just as ableist to depict every disabled person as an innocent good soul as it is to exclusively deal in grim and ghastly monsters.

Don’t justify disabilities and don’t destroy them.

Superpowers are cool. Characters can and IMO should have superpowers, as long as you’re writing a genre when they’re there.

BUT.

It’s important to remember that there is no justification for disabilities, because they don’t need one. Disability is simply a feature characters have. You do not need to go “they’re blind, BUT they can see the future”

This is admittedly shaky, and people can argue either way; the Blind Seer is a very pronounced mythological figure and an interesting philosophical point about what truly matters in the world. There’s a reason it exists as a conceit. But if every blind character is blind in a way that completely negates that disability or makes it meaningless- this sucks. People have been blind since the dawn of time. And people will always accommodate their disabilities in different ways. Even if the technology exists to fix some forms of blindness, there are people who will have “fixable” blindness and refuse to treat it. There will be individuals born blind who have no meaningful desire to modify this. And there are some people whose condition will be inoperable even if it “shouldn’t” be.

You don’t need to make your disabled characters excessively cool, or give them a means by which the audience can totally forget they’re disabled. Again, this is a place where strong worldbuilding is your buddy- a handwave of “x technology fixed all disabilities”, in my opinion, will never come off good. If, instead, however, you throw out a careless detail that the cool girl the main character is chatting up in a cyberpunk bar has an obvious spinal modification, and feature other characters with prosthetics and without- I will like your work a lot, actually. Even if you’re handing out a fictional “cure”- show the seams. Make it have drawbacks and pros and cons. A great example of this is in the series Full Metal Alchemist- the main character has two prosthetic limbs, and not only do these limbs come with problems, some mundane (he has phantom limb pains, and has to deal with outgrowing his prostheses or damaging them in combat) some more fantastical (these artificial limbs are connected to his nerves to function fluidly- which means that they get surgically installed with no anesthesia and hurt like fuck plugging in- and they require master engineering to stay in shape). We explicitly see a scene of the experts responsible for said limbs talking to a man who uses an ordinary prosthetic leg, despite the advantages of an automail limb, because these drawbacks are daunting to him and he is happier with a simple prosthetic leg.

Even in mundane accommodations you didn’t make up- no two wheelchair users use their chair the exact same way, and there’s a huge diversity of chairs. Someone might be legally blind but still navigate confidently on their own; they might use a guide dog, or they might use a cane. They might even change their needs from situation to situation!

Disability accommodations are part of life

This ties in heavily to the previous point, but seriously! Don’t just look up one model of cane and superimpose it with no modifications onto your character- think about what their lifestyle is, and what kind of person they are!

Also medication is not the devil. Yes, medical abuse is real and tragic and the medication is not magic fairy dust that solves all problems either. But also, it’s straight ableism to act like anybody needing pills for any reason is a scary edgy plot twist. 

(and addiction is a disease. Please be careful, and moreover be compassionate, if you’re writing a character who’s an addict)

3. Be mindful of cast composition

This, to me, is a big tip about disability writing and it’s also super easy to implement!

Just make sure your cast has a lot of meaningful disabled characters in it!

Have you done all the work you can to try and dodge the Red Right Hand but you’re still worried your disabled villain is a bad look? They sure won’t look like a commentary on disability if three other people in the cast are disabled and don’t have the same outlook or role! Worried that you’re PSLT-ing your main character’s disabled child? Maybe the disability is hereditary and they got it from the main character!

The more disabled characters you have, the more it will challenge you to think about what their individual relationship is with the world and the less you’ll rely on hackneyed tropes. At least, ideally.

-

Ultimately, there’s no perfect silver bullet of diversity writing that will prevent a work from EVER being ableist, but I hope this helped, at least!

[nothorses]

I actually know about this one!

This is a great paper on the subject, which delves a lot deeper into why the myth exists, why people believe it, and what the impact of believing it actually is (hint: it's pretty bad). It's a little long, but interesting. To start, though:

Learning style philosophies are considered a myth because they provide anywhere from inadequate to incorrect portrayals of learning (Dembo & Howard, 2007; Pashler et al., 2008; Scott, 2010). To date, there has been no evidence that matching or meshing instruction to someone’s self-reported learning style positively affects their ability to learn new information (e.g., Husmann & O’Loughlin, 2018; Knoll, Otani, Skeel, & Van Horn, 2017; Krätzig & Arbuthnott, 2006; Rogowsky, Calhoun, & Tallal, 2015; also see Pashler et al., 2008 for a review).

Which is just to say that it isn't real, it has been tested, and nobody has been able to prove it. It's a myth.

I think for a lot of folks who believe it's helped them personally, though, what they tend to actually be benefiting from is a combination of:

Information being presented in multiple ways (often at once), which provides more ways for your brain to process, hold onto, and recall that information later,

Experiential learning (i.e. learning by doing, or learning from personal experiences) being genuinely one of the best ways for anyone to learn anything, and also more common if you're trying to tailor lessons to "kinesthetic learners" in particular, and

Student-centered teaching styles and individualization of content (teachers trying to meet students where they are and give them what they specifically need).

Folks can also have certain disabilities/neurodivergences that might make processing some sensory information more difficult; if you have auditory processing disorder, for example, and your teacher starts to provide more visual aids to their highly verbal lectures to accommodate "visual learners", you are probably going to have an easier time understanding them.

You might also be wondering, "if it's inaccurate but ultimately helpful, why does it matter if people believe it?" and the answer to that, my friend, is psychological essentialism.

The learning styles myth perpetuates the idea that, to quote another paper on the subject (this one is like a 5 minute read, check it out): "Psychological essentialism is the belief that certain categories of people have a true nature that is biologically based and highly predictive of many factors in their lives".

It's not uncommon for people who believe in learning styles to believe that they are genetic and can be inherited, and this can quickly lead to racist and ableist assumptions about what "kinds of learners" certain people are, and what that says about them.

There are also definitely some assumptions that folks make about "learning styles", even without thinking they're hereditary; raise your hand if you've ever heard of "visual learners" and artists being associated, or "kinesthetic learners" and athletes. Consider the impact this has on kids who are being assigned a "learning style" in elementary school (I was!), and how they might perceive their own abilities going forward in life. Can I still be a visual artist if I'm not a visual learner?

There's also an issue of resources, which that previous paper summarizes:

Previous research has shown that the learning styles model can undermine education in many ways. Educators spend time and money tailoring lessons to certain learning styles for different students even though all students would benefit from learning through various methods. Students study in ways that match their perceived learning style even though it won’t help them succeed. Some teacher certification programs incorporate learning styles into their courses, which perpetuates the myth for the next generation of teachers. Academic support centers and a plethora of products also are focused on learning styles, despite the lack of scientific evidence supporting them.

So yes, even speaking strictly about the academic practicality of the myth, there's an impact!

It's something I still see in education-oriented spaces- though actual classes for educators that I've taken have all outright debunked the myth or just ignored it entirely- and it hasn't really brought anything to those programs that you can't get from, like, the basic understanding that giving kids more ways to understand information will help them learn it. And you certainly get more from asking the kid why they're struggling than you do from making assumptions about the situation based on an assigned "learning style".

I'm glad it's been positive for some folks, genuinely! And I also hope you can take a little time to question the labels that have been applied to you, how accurate they really are, and how they're serving you. I was told that "kinesthetic learning" was practically useless to me as a child, and I can promise you that is not true of literally anyone- but especially 10 year olds.

EDIT: specifically regarding the "this teacher's style worked for me but nobody else" anecdote: everyone has different needs and succeeds under difference circumstances. We have different "styles" of learning, but that doesn't mean they can be categorized, especially by something like sense, into neat & specific "learning styles" like the myth perpetuates. (I'd also be curious if there were any systemic factors at play; did the students struggling in that class share any marginalized identities? Maybe not, maybe it's just the first thing! But it's always worth asking those questions.)

wikipedia is a gem

[aroaceacacia]

What is your twitter dude I've looked up every variation of all of your usernames that I can think of but I can't find it lmao I wanna know your thoughts on mask

@ genesisfr0g !!! it's not intuitive sorry, genesis frog & variations of that are what I usually go by online, tumblr happens to be the exception

I'll give more thought through thoughts here. I think dream meant well with mask, but its message came off strange to me. (I understand that it's just his own personal experience, but from everything I can tell, it's not healthy behavior.)

the way the end of the song is not a happy/conclusive ending ("I've been wearing a smile so long it's real", implying he has become the mask), but the end of the music video is happy? it's this strange dissonance to me that feels deeply wrong, almost like dream misinterpreted his own song; mask is about masking his neurodivergence and his mental health struggles, and the conclusion the video draws is... to do that indefinitely for so long that you repress/ignore your struggles

similarly to that, the happy ending of the video kinda clashes for me with the dumping meds scene. dumping medication impulsively, without talking to your doctor, is not a good thing. you don't have to take medication to cope w mental health, because there is no "one size fits all" tool, but the mask video does not show dream actually building any coping mechanisms and instead just... pretending like everything is fine. that doesn't sit well with me, and it's why the mask video feels to some people like it lowkey endorses not taking medication (that and the ridiculous phrasing of "normal pills", "you are not normal" on the doctor's note, etc).

all of this to say, this all rubs me the wrong way in part because dream (imo) clearly does not have all of the tools he needs to cope with his ADHD? he's impulsive and he lashes out on twitter, which consistently leads to him stepping in shit and causing controversy after controversy. he's a creator with 23 million subscribers, he has millions of eyes on him and just as many people waiting to criticize him and tear him down.

I understand people arent perfect but in situations like, say, after an MCC where the winning team appeared to "cheat", Dream going on his roommate's stream and jokingly and loudly accusing his friend/coworker of cheating via a glitch that's affected just about everyone in the game at some point, to an audience of 100k+ very passionate young people, or when he's being accused of cheating by speedrun mods whove done math and think his run should be invalid and he doesnt remember cheating on purpose, Dream needs something or someone to make him stop, wait, and think about what he's about to do before he says anything. I recognize that he seems to be aware of his flaws and hes very willing to admit that hes fucked up when he thinks he needs to, but he just keeps doing this over and over? Some/most of his twitter fans pull the "he has ADHD" card to a lot of his criticism in this vein, and yeah he sure does, but he also needs to try and improve himself - it's not an excuse to continue in this way

so overall, the impression I get is that dream is a young man with a disability (ADHD) who's never really been part of a community with other neurodivergent/disabled people, who purposefully ditched one of the tools he was offered to cope with his disability (the medication), and since then has not actually learned how to cope or asked his existing support system to help accommodate his needs (i.e. asking someone he trusts before making potentially inflammatory tweets, or even having a PR manager). and basically, none of it is good, imo

in terms of mental health & neurodivergence there are creators who are more frank and honest and healthy with how they cope and get through it. for example- plumbella is autistic and has been open with their anxiety, taking breaks, and getting help!

im not saying that dream needs to spill his life story/every detail of his mental health history or whatever, but I think this whole essay can clarify to you that the overall impression I get is that dream does not cope with his ADHD in a way that is healthy or actually constructive and the mask music video unintentionally validates that.

if people find comfort in mask by dream, I'm not trying to take that away from them; I'm just offering my perspective as a medicated person with ADHD around dream's age.

also just, the music video was not well written - the story was shown to the audience in a way that felt. uncreative. straightforward. Like there wasn't a lot of artistry in it? the character designs were very unsettling, and the movements/animation was very slow. that animation works in a few shots, and the lighting was beautiful, but overall the MV did not look good and it wasn't enough of an engaging or interesting story to want to bring me back to watch it again

tl;dr mask didnt look good and it had themes that trouble me bc they seem to fall into a pattern of dream not actually successfully coping with his ADHD and as a result causing problems for the greater MCYT community

[burritoscully]

A Dash of Courage

I'd like to thank @agirlcallednarelle​ for betaing this fic and for the title, thank you so much loaf ❤️

1.5k | @today-in-fic | @xffictober2021 |  ao3

As someone who actually is dyslexic, some of the narrative here is inspired by my own experience. That is not to say that other people have not experienced the same things. Each individual person who has dyslexia or any other form of neurodivergence experience things in their own way.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Her heart races. She feels it in her ears, in her fingertips. In her toes and in her throat. In her chest.

Dear Professor, I hope this letter finds you well. I’m writing to

Stop. It’s not worth it. It’s not real. Her mind races. The dean must’ve been right after all. Maybe they were right. Maybe university isn’t the place for someone with a disability. Maybe she doesn’t even have a disability at all. She can read. It’s hard, very hard, but she can read a text. She can write. Maybe her teacher made it up.

Maybe she doesn’t have a disability. Maybe it isn’t real. People seem to think that someone with a disability can’t go into physics. Can’t go into medicine.

Medicine is for the smart people, worthy people. Not for stupid people with dyslexia. She has been told that she is lazy and unintelligent her entire life. Maybe it is true. Maybe they are right. Maybe they are all right.

Maybe the speech therapists were wrong. It is rare after all. Not that many people have dyslexia. They probably just made a mistake when they were screening her. Mistook her unintelligence for a disability. Dana is positive that it happens more than people may think. Even some of her teachers said that dyslexia does not exist. That it is just another excuse to categorise students.

And if she does have dyslexia? Well… it is not debilitating. She can read. She can write. It is not real.

But it is. It is real and it is debilitating. Even if Dana refuses to see it that way. She writes, she spells the words out letter by letter like she was taught and yet, so many mistakes. So much laughter from her peers. When she reads, the world speeds up, her cheeks grow hot and her tongue swells. She sees the word right but she says it wrong and she cannot control it. Her face grows hotter as her peers laugh even more. She wills herself to forget, even if all the memories stay with her.

I am writing to ask for your generosity in allowing me to either have extra time or to be allowed to take my exam in a separate room. My diagnosis for dyslexia

Stop. Blurry vision. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Her heart races. Again. Her hand shakes. Her head swims as she remembers previous encounters. More previous encounters with her teachers and peers. Previous encounters that she had thought forgotten but haunt her persistently.

Her classmate scoffing. “Do you really think someone who can’t read can study medicine? You’re deluded Dana. That or you’re faking it.”

Her professor’s nonchalance. “Miss Scully if you really do need these accommodations, I really believe that university is not the place for you. Maybe you should try something a little less demanding. Maybe working in a café or fast food could suit you better.”

Another professor. “Dana, we really can’t be sure that you still have this problem. I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

A teacher in middle school. “Dana just concentrate for Pete’s sake. The word is right there. The letters are right there. You have no excuses. Spelling it wrong when you’re copying it is unacceptable. Maybe this level is too high for you.”

The memories are overwhelming. Everywhere she looks, students’ chattering feels like every head turns her way. Like everyone is talking, like they used to. She puts her head down. Maybe she does not need extra time or leniency with spelling or to take her exam in a separate room. Is she just being whiny? Does she expect special treatment that she does not deserve? Writing a word with a couple of inverted or missing letters does not mean that she is disabled. Taking a bit longer to read a sentence does not mean that she is disabled.

She puts her pen down and bites into her fingers. Hard enough to make marks – hard enough to be painful – but not hard enough to draw blood. Not hard enough to leave evidence of her struggle. No one is to know of this.

She hears footsteps so the stomp. stomp. stomping. getting progressively louder overwhelms her. The collective stomping and chattering become the only things she hears until –

She inhales. Holds. Exhales. Footsteps. She feels hers as they get progressively closer. Ellen walks into the cafeteria, towards her table and sits next to Dana. She puts a hand on the back of her chair and looks at Dana’s unfinished letter.

“Hey.” Her voice is soft and comforting and everything Dana wants but does not think she needs. Ellen is truly the only person she can trust. The only person who  will respect her, not question her. Who will offer her support. Her light at the end of the tunnel, however long it may be.

Perhaps she really is just unintelligent and undeserving of her place in this institution. Undeserving of the help she is asking for and undeserving for her chance to even attempt to study physics or medicine or whatever the hell she wants to study. Undeserving of –

Dana feels Ellen’s hand touch her arm comfortingly and Dana’s racing heart calms a fraction before Ellen understands what is going on. She gulps and looks away. Looks at the floor. At her feet. Ellen gently takes Dana’s hands into her own and rubs her fingers up and down her wrists. Dana exhales and looks into Ellen’s eyes, shameful, unshed tears lining her burning eyes.

It's just an insecurity, she tells herself. It’s just an insecurity. It is, isn’t it?

“I just—I don’t really outwardly have that much trouble reading. Do I really need this?” Dana’s voice shakes. Imperceptibly. Imperceptibly for everyone but Ellen. “God I—I read for fun I–”

“Dana.” Ellen takes a deep breath and guides Dana’s chin upwards, making sure she’s looking her in the eye. “Dana, you’ve been reading for thirteen years. You’ve had thirteen years of constant practice.” Ellen keeps rubbing her thumb across Dana’s wrist comfortingly. “No one is going to notice your struggle but it does not mean that it isn’t there. Just because people can’t see how hard it is for you, it doesn’t mean that it’s easy. Far from it. Just because you work three times as hard as everyone else, doesn’t mean that you deserve to be kicked down and kept down. You deserve the same chances that everyone else gets.”

It is strange, having someone understand. A good strange. The kind of strange that makes Dana want to grin and hug Ellen forever. It feels wonderfully strange. Dana will never not be grateful to have a friend as amazing as Ellen in her life.

Dana clears her throat and sniffs. She pulls her hands from Ellen’s and faces her desk again. “You’re right.”

She picks up her pen and carries on, pressing the pen so hard against the paper that it leaves marks on the five sheets beneath it.

Dear Professor, I hope this letter finds you well. I’m writing to ask for your generosity in allowing me to either have extra time or to be allowed to take my exam in a separate room. My diagnosis for dyslexia and a recommendation for accommodations that the disability requires are stapled to this letter. I am conscious that this is a big ask and will understand if it is not a possibility. I hope that the documents are satisfying. Kind regards, Dana Scully

When she finishes writing, her brain feels fried. Like it has been working overtime for seventy two hours. In reality she has only been working on this particular draft for forty minutes. She can feel the figurative smoke coming out of her ears but she is finally finished.

She clears her throat again as the caps and drops the pen. She looks away, still believing that she does not deserve special treatment. Still believing that it really is not as bad as it feels. That she makes it out to be worse than it is.

“Could you look this over for me again, please? Just to make sure.” She takes a breath, trying to avoid feeling too guilty for asking this of her friend yet again. “It’s the last draft, I promise.”

“Of course, Dana, any time.”

Dana breathes a sigh of relief.

–

Ellen is an English major. Today – like every other day – Dana walks into their shared dorm and sees Ellen lying on her bed, head hanging off the end, reading. Not reading for fun, but reading for class. Every day, Dana sees Ellen with her nose buried in a fifty-page long binder of either academic articles or texts that she has to read for the following day.

There is a reason Dana is studying physics and not English. There is a reason that Dana, as a dyslexic college student, gravitated towards science rather than humanities.

Ellen hears Dana’s scuffling and turns onto her side, a warm smile on her face in greeting.

“Hey Dana, did you hear anything back?”

Dana drops her bag and smiles.

[snowviolettwhite]

Eddie & The Possibility Of A Learning Disability And/Or Nerodivergent:

Eddie repeating the 12th grade twice. He realistic probably has a learning disability and/or is neurodivergent.

Seeing people ignoring that fact that actually real people with learning disability and who are neurodivergent exist is

Saying if Eddie was a real person you would hate him because he is stupid since he repeated 12th grade twice, hangs out with high school kid depict that fact he is a high school kid, sells drugs and still lives with his school uncle aka his parent/guardian is ableist and classiest.

Not to mention he is poor and education is often easier for rich kids because their parents can afford the best.

You are saying that people who have repeated a grade, has been in special ed, needs extra help, have disabilities, have financial troubles and have mental health issues are stupid and not deserving of having a happy life and deserve being bullied. You would never say this to a real person and frankly if you have you are the bully and probably very privileged and ignorant. You are Angela and Jason.

--

I see these popular people who all look and dress the same online saying they would totally be friends with the stranger things kids who in the series are bullied and called labeled as weirdos. I was very much like them, it was always the hyper feminine girly girls and hyper masculine guys who all dressed on trend who picked on me. I personally wished I met someone like Eddie and the party when I was in middle school and high school maybe it would have been less traumatic. Maybe this is me projecting or not but, most of the main characters give off neurodivergent vibes.

--

Also, there is barely a difference between a 19/20 and a 17/18 maturity and brain development wise. You don't just magical become mature and grown up once you turn a certain age. You are not fully developed at 19/20. If you think that you stop being a parent when your kid turns 18 you should not be parent.

Eddie should have been tested for learning disability and anything that could have deliberated his education and given proper accommodations and he might have graduated. I know this is Indiana in the 1980s and he would probably would have been bullied more if it was found out and I have no idea what special ed would looked like back then. But, it is just a thought.

[pasteloni]

DON'T EVER GIVE UP ON ADVOCATING FOR YOURSELF!!!!

speaking from my experience, doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, etc can be real assholes sometimes but you have to keep pushing. i've had professionals tell me the 'oh you can't be/have x' or "the internet is bane of my existence" when i called out a psychiatrist for being ableist and saying everything on the internet is misinformation (guess the DSM-V is misinformation since it's on the internet jdjdjd). i know how hard and exhausting it can be but you will find someone/something to help you. it can feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, like your world is collapsing in on you and you are suffocating. it's so hard when you have a limited amount of spoons or even negative. go at you own pace, you have time, even if it seems like you don't. you've made it this far and are so strong for doing so. i know you can do it!

if it helps, you can also think about it that you continuing to advocate for yourself is in spite of the people who told you they wouldn't help you, who say 'suck it up' or 'it's not that bad' or 'someone else has it worse'. take the POWER from them and SPITE THEM!!

there's plenty of help out there and you will find it. there's also tons of really awesome and supportive communities out there with amazing people who can offer solutions and help, point you in the direction of great resources. and remember, you are not alone with your struggles and you are loved!! don't you ever forget that!!!

the medical world lags so far behind and there's a clear gap along with rampant ableism, sexism, and racism. the lack of knowledge ties in with the mistreatment and even misdiagnosis of people. POC and AFAB are more likely to be overlooked and misdiagnosed. it's important to know your stuff and keep advocating when things aren't working and you are still struggling. which ties into my next point:

if you put in the time to research and reexamine your experiences/life your self diagnosis is valid!

this is the first step to getting a diagnosis. people don't normally spend like 6 months (this is just a number, not a minimum) obsessively researching and thinking about your experiences/life, finding things relatable and feel like you are heard, taking various tests, looking at the DSM-V or other criteria for things.

you can't get treated for something like the flu if you don't know what the symptoms are and self diagnose first. then once you get to the doctor they can diagnose you and confirm if it's the flu or not and figure out the meds after the diagnosis

self diagnosis is also different from people claiming they have a disability or mental illness for clout.

yes, it's an issue that needs to be addressed, but it's very few people in the grand scheme of things. they make it harder for people to advocate for themselves and to seek help. you cannot get treatment/accommodations if you don't have a diagnosis in the first place. there is nothing to gain other than getting the help that you so deserve. and again, in my experience there's a lot of pushback to getting that much needed help. so anyone who disagrees, understand that you are putting someone down who could be in a very vulnerable spot and really needs help and or encouragement. you are only invalidating them and hurting them. if it turns out they are wrong, they have learned more about themself and can further help improve their life and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. knowledge is power, don't be the one to deny someone that.

i am speaking from my experiences as a neurodivergent. i cannot speak for any other types of disabilities, that in mind i feel like the things i said can still apply to anyone even if some of the language i use is more geared towards neurodivergents

also if anyone needs any resources for ADHD or ASD please do not hesitate to reach out to me! even though i only have a few, they helped me a lot and i am always happy to share!

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

[rebelwheelssoapbox]

Why Is Governor Cuomo Attacking Disabled New Yorkers Like Me? (And What You Can Do About It)

In 2018, my body developed Dysphagia (a condition where easily swallowing food and water, is not really an option.) Meanwhile, my brain, apparently feeling like the first one needed a friend, grew a second brain cyst. As a result, I became mostly bed bound and spent a good portion of my summer in a hospital and then eventually in a rehab/nursing home.

When I was in these environments, I only got worse. Both places struggled to accommodate my particular dietary needs (in fact I lost even more weight while there), they had absolutely zero training in regard to processing disorders (as my brain is on the spectrum), and refused to let me use my motorized wheelchair with spine support (which my spine needs), forcing me to either stay in bed all day or attempt to use their manual wheelchair which was harmful to my spine (as it lacked the spine support that it requires), and was utterly exhausting to my muscles. It was to the point where several times, I went from mostly bed bound to totally bed bound. Furthermore, in the 3 weeks that I was in the nursing home, I received a total of two showers. Sometimes I got a partial “sponge bath” where they hastily “washed” maybe (at best) 1/5th of your body, but never washed the soap off which really irritated your skin. Thankfully, I transitioned from the nursing home to my apartment, as I knew that with proper services, I could live in my home and in my chosen community. That's when I started to apply for medicaid and specifically CDPA, a program that would allow me to choose who I hire and work with as my PCA (or personal care attendant).

[a photo of myself in my hospital bed, post voting on Election Day. It wore me out, but with the assistance of my CDPA PCA, I was able to do it. Image of a disabled woman with spastic arms holding up a “I Voted” sticker, as she lays on her hospital bed with purple sheets. She is wearing headphones to reduce the noise.] The word in the disability community was that CDPA was the way to go, and it makes sense. After all, if you must rely on people to feed and bathe you, wouldn't you want a say in who does that? Wouldn't you feel safer interviewing the candidates beforehand and having a voice in who is allowed into your home? Having input as to who is in charge of your health? With traditional services, you do not have a say in any of this. I know this because at one point, while in the process of setting up CDPA, due to bureaucratic hoopla, I was somewhat forced into traditional services (it was either that or have them close my case and re-apply for Medicaid all over again - which was not much of an option as the process takes so long as it is).

[a photo of myself as The Woman’s March before the setback. I am wearing a cat hat and a holding a protest sign that reads “Disabled People Don’t Want Your Pity. We Just Want Out Rights.”] In addition to basically having to let total strangers into my home, all the PCAs that the agency sent to me, were not fluent in English, to the point where I could not communicate my needs (and they could not communicate theirs). I once asked if I could please have a popsicle. I was brought an apple. I said “no, no, it's in the freezer.” but as much as this person tried, they did not know the word. But it went beyond that. Because the PCAs and I could not fully communicate with each other, they didn't understand that they needed to clean the humidifier daily (which was essential as it kept the dysphagia at bay, and helped me with my breathing). As a result, not only did they partially damage the humidifier (due to a lack of cleaning), but my dysphagia got worse. At one point, I actually started to choke on my food, but because of the communication barrier, the weekend PCA did not understand what was happening. And cognitive exercises? Something I need on a daily basis (as I am prone to cognitive down slide) - that just was not happening. In fact, similar to when I was at the nursing home/hospital, the people did not understand neurodivergency, and cognitively I only got worse. But probably one of the most harrowing experiences, was when a friend of mine was over and I decided now was a good time to try a shower with the weekday PCA, who at this point, I did not totally feel safe with. How can I communicate my rules about consent if there was a language barrier between us? How could I feel safe when she would sometimes think it was funny when my speech impediment was in effect (as if it impacted my credibility. It does not.) On top of that, with my processing disorder, where I can not process information in real time, I could not always process what was happening to me and communicate my needs in real time. But it had been weeks since I had a shower, (unlike when I have CDPA, where showers and proper sponge baths happen on a regular basis) and I figured with my friend here, she could help advocate if necessary. And thank god, she was there! There I was in the shower, and the PCA was scrubbing my skin so harshly, that it was physically painful. It was so overwhelming on a sensory level and traumatic! Even my friend, seeing what was happening said “Why are you being so rough with her?!” and told her to be more gentle, but she didn't understand nor stop. I cried so hard when it was done and refused to shower till I was able to transition back to CDPA.

[original artwork that I made at the time. I felt so frustrated and powerless - especially since I knew if I could get back on CDPA, it wouldn’t be like this. original artwork showing an angry face ] But (in my experience) that is traditional services. I can try to request another person, but they sent me three people within a short period of time, and while some were nicer than others, this was pretty much the standard. With CDPA, I am in charge of the hiring process. I can hire someone based on their experience and compatibility. I can ask about what are their views on disability and not hire someone who is condescending and/or rough with me. With CDPA you can even hire a family member or friend, who understands your needs but won’t go bankrupt in the process of caring for you, because they will get paid to do so. With traditional services, I have no say who I get. With traditional services, they don't send you someone based on your needs. They send you a person – anyone who is available to cover that shift. Thankfully, after the people that I hired were fully registered, I was able to transition back to CDPA. I now have two lovely PCAs who have experience with people with processing disorders, who are creative and work with me to do cognitive exercises. And because in NYC, they are paid more than the traditional service PCAs, they are happier and put more effort into their work. As a result, I feel safe again. I can relax again. I can go back to focusing on getting stronger, and doing things that bring me joy, so I can improve my standard of living, so I can lead a full and fulfilling life. In my experience, I would not be able to do that with traditional services, where my energy was put towards just barely getting by.

[a photo of myself laying in my hospital bed with purple sheets. I am wearing a narwhal adult onesie, and reading “Howl” by Allen Ginsberg.] So you might imagine the near panic and heartbreak that I felt when I read that “ Governor Cuomo is looking to end the Consumer Directed Personal Assistance (CDPA) program as we know it today. Worse yet, his attacks on the program go so far as putting the entire fate of the program in the hands of Washington, now going on a month of their shutdown.“ After taking a deep breath, I asked Gregg Beratan from CDRNYS what exactly are the details of this change, and what can the people can do about it: “Long story short: This budget will repeal the law that made CDPA and replace it with a stripped down version that eliminates 9 out of every 10 FIs [fiscal intermediaries] in the state. The ultimate goal is to move to ONE FI for all of New York. So if the agency is one of the 10% that survives initially, they will not be around long." This is a total nightmare. One of the many benefits of CDPA, is that you have the option to shop around and get the best living wage (as different FI’s or fiscal intermediaries offer varying wages) for the people you hire. Having the ability to offer a proper wage, isn’t just a matter of worker solidarity (though that is most definitely part of it.) It is far easier to keep a good worker when they can financially support themselves on the pay they are given. A low wage means more employee turn over and more disgruntled workers, which increases the risk of abuse. Gregg went on to explain that if things move forward as Cuomo plans, and “If your FI opened its doors after January 1, 2012 or is not an independent living center it will be out of business immediately.” The FI that I have chosen fits into this category! Does Cuomo not understand how CDPA works? Does he not care about disabled New Yorkers & the people that work for them? “If the federal government does not approve the new version of this law, there will be no CDPA at all. Even if the program gets through Washington, in an unprecedented move, the new law gives the Commissioner of Health absolute power in determining it's continued existence. The benefit could stop immediately at any time if they do not think the reimbursement they are getting is "adequate." Jesus Christ!

[These attacks on my community is so draining! original artwork showing a sad face] Alright, this is not over yet. We can take action (and please - in the name of decency and solidarity, take action) TAKE ACTION: “First - Call Governor Cuomo at 518-474-8390. Tell him "Consumer directed personal assistance lets me live my life, on my terms, in my community. Your changes would send me to a nursing home. End your attack on seniors and the disabled today! Stop attacking CDPA." (Or if you’re not disabled, tell him "Consumer directed personal assistance lets disabled people live their life, on their terms, in their community. Your changes would send them to a nursing home. End your attack on seniors and the disabled today! Stop attacking CDPA." etc. ) If you are unable to make a phone call, you can use Resist Bot. TXT the word RESIST to 50409 & follow directions. Resist Bot will send the message to your politician(s) of choice. “Second - [if you are able] Get ready for a trip to Albany! February 11 is our Legislative Day in Albany. Meet us at 10:00 in the Well of the Legislative Office Building. Apply for a scholarship and we may be able to help with some or all of your travel. “ Third - Contact your Representatives. YOU elected them. YOU need to make sure they are here to fight for you. They care about your stories and your experiences. That is in fact what will let us win.” So, there it is. Whether you are disabled or not, please take a moment to contact Cuomo and tell him Hands Off The CDPA! Because in these times, no oppressed group (such as the disability community) should be left behind.