#rassel tag

[morphlingunderscore]

hehehe. :]

ref image under the cut!!

[redbootsindoriath]

Oh.

Okay.

I’m honestly pretty surprised because this was supposed to just be a goofy little blog where I put nonsense stuff that maybe a few people would see and then move on.  Even the tagging system I use is because I didn’t care about the blog being easy to find.  However, unlike Fëanor, I don’t mind finding myself with more followers than I planned for.

Thank you all so much for being here, I hope I’m not disappointing anyone in any way, and to those of you who have been here since the beginning, thanks for your patience.

I’m hoping to do something big-ish for a proper celebration and thank you, but I didn’t really plan ahead much so it might be a while before I’m able to get something pulled together.  In the meantime, here’s a Third Age Finrod.

Again, thanks to all of you for being here and being so nice (whether I’m active or not), and for all of the wonderful comments, and for the reblogs that have spread my nonsense much further across the fanbase than I would ever have imagined.

Transcription:

[Fingolfin:] “Yeah well I never liked you anyway.  Idiot.”

[Mouth of Sauron:] “Is there anyone in this rout with authority to treat with me?” [Finrod:] “Of course!  I’m Dungalef and this is my good friend...uh...Nrogara Rassele.”

[caminos-north-america]

Smith Rock

Smith Rock ist die Geburtsstädte des Sportkletterns in Nordamerika und bietet in nahezu allen Schwierigkeitsgraden Weltklasse Routen die vor allen Dingen durch kleine Griffe und dadurch delikate Kletterzüge herausstechen. Durch die große Auswahl an Touren ist dieses Klettergebiet sehr beliebt und überlaufen. Zu den Kletterern gesellen sich viele Touristen die dieses Gebiet wegen der herausragenden Landschaft besichtigen wollen. Ich wurde mehrmals vorgewarnt, dass man für die Klettertouren anstehen muss. Dadurch waren die Erwartungen entsprechend gering ein lässiges Klettererlebnis zu haben. Doch es kam anders als erwartet. Um zu den Kletterfelsen zu gelangen muss man in Smith Rock einen Fluss mittels einer Brücke überqueren und wie es der Zufall so will war diese alt und marode und wurde exakt in der Zeit in der ich dort war erneuert. Und durch den Mangel einer Ersatzbrücke gab es keinen offiziellen Zugang zu den Felsen und Wanderwegen. Der Park war somit quasi geschlossen.

Auf Grund der geringen Tiefe des Flusses, der den Campingplatz von den Felsen trennt, war es kein Problem diesen jeden Morgen zu durchwaten. Der Großteil der Menschen ließ sich allerdings abschrecken und das Resultat war ein leerer Smith Rock State Park. Awesome. Wenn sich kaum Kletterer in einem Gebiet aufhalten ist allerdings auch die Kletterpartnersuche ein wenig kompliziert. Dieses löste ich in der ersten Woche indem ich jeden Tag durch das Gebiet streifte und nach Kletterern Ausschau hielt. Wenn ich welche gefunden hatte lief ich zu diesen, hielt ein wenig Smalltalk und fragte sie schließlich ob sie mich sichern könnten. Meistens klappte das. Wenn nicht, ging ich weiter zu den nächsten oder kletterte ein wenig allein.

Wie ich gehört hatte gibt es in Smith Rock Klapperschlangen. Aber so richtig glaubt ich nicht daran dass ich eine sehen würde. Nachdem ich einer solchen am zweiten Tag über den Weg gelaufen bin und diese mich ordentlich anklapperte dachte ich mir: „Ok vielleicht muss man hier doch ein wenig mehr aufpassen.“ Danach begegnete ich ein paar anderen Schlange aber keine hatte eine Rassel dabei.

In der zweiten Woche kamen Magda und Leon, die ich in Squamish kennengelernt hatte, dazu. So hatte ich für die restliche Zeit Kletterpartner. Außerdem waren die beiden inzwischen Besitzer eines Autos. Mein Weiterweg war damit wieder einmal gesichert. ;)

Nach insgesamt zwei Wochen setzten wir uns wieder ins Auto und gaben als nächstes Ziel Yosemite ein. Auf dem Weg besuchten wir noch den Redwood Nationalpark an der Pazifikküste und besichtigten ein paar große Bäume. In diesen Wäldern ist gefühlt jeder Baum größer als der davor. Verrückt.

Am selben Tag wurde noch das obligatorische Bad im Pazifik genommen und am nächsten Tag erreichten wir die nächste Superlative: den El Cap im Yosemite.

[animefreak1145]

The Golden Band(Adler x Bell!Reader)(Oneshot)

Word Count: 11.2k

Summary: Adler is beginning to notice that Bell has a growing fixation on certain objects and actions.

A married couple. A doting mother to her child. The pauses towards jewelry stores when they pass them.

And all he can think is: Shit.

Warnings/Tags: Mature Warning, 1983, Established!Adler x Bell, Hints of Woods x Bell, Implied Sexual Content, Some Sexual Content, Past!Brainwashing, Post!Solovetsky, Pre!1984 Events, Fluff

A/N: This was supposed to be 3k or 6k at most. This is a bad habit. Enjoy!

Russian Translation:

My love- моя любовь(moya lyubov)

Handsome—красивый (krasivyy)

Beautiful—красивая (krasivaya)

Russell—Рассел (Rassel)

My Russell- мой Рассел (moy)

My dear Russell-голубушка, рассел (galoobooshka Rassel)

Sweetheart- лапушкаka (lapooshka)

My Sweetheart- моя лапушкаka (moya lapooshka)

Baby- крошка (kroshka)

Shit-дерьмо (der’mo)

Good morning-доброе утро (dobroye utro)

Thank you-Спасибо (spasibo)

Adler awoke to his ringing alarm with a grunt, the sound grinding his ears and making you give a disgruntled closed mouth groan beside him. You turned to face him as he turned it off, blinking his eyes blearily and automatically wrapping an arm around your waist as you laid your head on his shoulder near his neck and a hand to his chest, your breath slowly coming out from deep sleep. The curtains of their room still hid the darkness of the upcoming morning, that and it is still the hour of dawn as Adler laid on his back, rubbing your waist that was covered by his shirt from last night. Adler leaned his head atop yours, glancing at your form with eyes still in the sleepy haze and soft as they roved at how his turtleneck seemed to swallow you and how your hair was up and awry with an affectionate tired smile.

You always seemed to enjoy his turtleneck, as evidenced by last night. He inhaled you deeply just as you sighed, the breath hitting his neck and him giving you a small peck to your temple before checking the time again with a squint of his eyes and sighing at what he saw. He shifted under you slightly, you releasing another petulant sound from the back of your throat even when he grazed a kiss to your ear and hand lowering to rub at your bare thighs from under the covers.

“Time to get up, sweetheart,” he said, voice thick with sleep and feeling dry even with clearing his throat and giving you another but firmer kiss to the side of your head with your disheveled hair. You frowned with a sleepy whine, nuzzling against his neck and wrapping your arms around him and getting half on top of him which made him chuckle good naturedly as he rubbed your bare skin of your leg. Bell always hates the morning. “We can’t be late,” he said and giving your thigh a squeeze before slowly shifting out from under you and the air immediately attacking him after sitting up and the warmth from you disappeared. “I’ll set the coffee up while you get a few more minutes.”

Once he finished up with the coffee, you eventually went down the stairs, your hair still up and your eyes squinting everywhere like an upset cat with his shirt reaching the top of your upper thighs and leaving little to the imagination. He passed you your mug how you liked it when you reached the kitchen counter, you grabbing it with a mumbled “Спасибо” in thanks, the spasibo sounding slurred. You taking a sip, a lazy smile on your lips and eyes brightening like they always do when he does your coffee right. He doesn’t know why, the way you like it is simple although high blood sugar inducing. He’s not one who forgets.

You leaned up to give him a kiss, but due to you still awakening you missed and got the corner of his lips on his scarred side instead, his lips quirked all the same.

Cute.

“доброе утро,” you greeted, before moving onto cook both of them a quick breakfast like always, him giving the greeting back and calling you lapooshka, ‘sweetheart’ in your mother tongue just how you like it as you hummed. Giving him his plate before settling next to him with your own as he gave his thanks while putting a hand to your bare knee, the other to his utensils and his eyes to the newspaper to read anything he’s missed while they quietly ate.

After they finished and went to get dressed, you called his name from their bathroom as he was about to put on his tie, his shirt still not fully buttoned as he went to check on you. Only to see you in your underwear while scrutinizing yourself in the mirror. His eyes roved down, him moving to lean against the doorframe as he stared in appreciation gleaming in his eyes.

“Called for me?”

“Yes, I called for you. Look what happened,” you pointed at the slope of your neck, his eyes going towards it before seeing what you meant as you put a hand to your face. “How am I supposed to hide that? I don’t think I have a collar high enough to do it. . .”

Adler shrugged, eyes canvassing the other marks left on your body due to him.

“You can always wear a turtleneck.” You shot him an unamused look which just made his lips upturn to a smirk. “Don’t know why you’re looking at me like that. You’re not the only one who has to deal with it.” Your eyes wandered to his neck where his collar was still open, eyes widening in realization with a small ‘oh’ and a hint of a smile that he caught. Him coming towards you and trapping you against the sink with your chest to his as you asked what he was doing hands to his chest, his lips grazing your own as he answered. “Nothing. Just find it funny you’re here complaining while I’m planning to wear mine like a badge of honor.”

You shook your head, laughing when he did a light kiss to the mark and putting your hands from his chest to behind his neck.

“You can be such an ass.”

You did a light squeal when he put you atop the sink, hands on your thighs once more and doing an appreciative squeeze.

“Only the special kind for you, sweetheart,” he toned lowly to your ear as you shivered before he gave you a kiss to your lips, tasting you and you doing the same before you pulled back to lay your forehead against his, eyes staring at him with a humored gleam.

“Who’s making who late now?”

He huffed at you, before letting you go after a nip to your sassy mouth. Eventually the both of you getting dressed and Adler telling you to just use one of your turtlenecks, he can find an excuse for you that you’ve been feeling cold lately if anyone says anything to the more casual wear when it comes to Langley. The both of you left and arrived in Langley, separating to their separate floors with a hand squeeze and than they were off. At least until lunch.

Adler focused on his work, going through files and possible evidence of what Perseus—which they have figured out is more an organization than a man—might be planning next and where. Except he noticed his mood was a bit lighter than usual as he smoked his cigarette and scanned words and events. Still feeling the focus and need to catch the fuckers, but his shoulders feel less tense. It’s something he began to take note of after he and Bell got together after wise time apart after Solovetsky, but he feels the power you have over him stronger today for some reason.

At the thought of your pouting face due to the hickey on your neck, he smirked around his cigarette and it still remained even after exhaling the smoke.

Others noted the change around him as of late, but no one dared to ask. At least the ones here. Except for the one.

“You’re looking chipper this morning,” called out Hudson as he stood in the open door frame of Adler’s office. Adler doing a distracted hum, putting out his cigarette and motioned for Hudson to come in for whatever he wants. Because it sure isn’t about his mood. The man just isn’t like that, which Adler can respect. Always straight to the point and focused on the mission more than a hawk in a hunt for it’s chosen quarry. Hudson closed the door, but stayed standing as he stood in front of his desk and handing him a file that Adler took easily. “Some of our team had discovered a string of operations that Perseus had planned in our side of the yard so to speak,” Hudson nodded at the files, crossing his arms as Adler’s lips pressed together, seeing the cities that are clearly of the United States as he flipped through the papers. “The string, as one can imagine, leads us back to Europe. Where some of our agents that are in NATO are already starting to set up there.”

“You said had,” Adler noted, putting down the file and glancing up at the man with his trusted aviators. “Does that mean those operations already happened or we were able to find future ones?”

Hudson released a heavy sigh Adler felt his light mood slowly start to fade.

Hudson began to explain the string found in different facilities from training facilities to some prison transports were ones that already occurred. And they could not find information of more that could happen in their soil, but they’re currently working on it when Adler questioned him. As well as answering on where does this leave Adler since Hudson brought this up.

“Due to all this, and the NATO team needing a guiding hand since Perseus’s main focus seems to be there, I’m planning on sending you to Europe.” Adler tipped his head forward in a semblance of a nod, figuring as much. Hudson’s expression seemed to shift as his gaze focused down on him as he stood, dropping his arms down to his sides. “Bell is staying here.”

Adler cocked a careful brow over his aviators, leaning back against his chair.

“Didn’t expect her to.” He never expects you to follow him everywhere. However, he does trust your skill set particularly. “But I expect you’re leaving her here for a reason?”

“She’s important in decoding the next possible string of operations Perseus has planned,” Hudson explained, tone neutral yet Adler couldn’t help but let his lips twitch. Of course Hudson praises you outside your hearing. Odd how if it’s just decoding that he needs you here though. He can spot Hudson’s eyes narrow at his humor behind his dark shades but continues. “Not only the ones here, but also for the ones in Europe and I’m planning to send her to the ones in the States once she unearths their plans.”

Adler hummed, seeing the need for you to stay.

“Someone sounds confident.” Hudson didn’t give much a reaction besides a mild curl of the lip at Adler’s pleased amusement. Adler than straightened, leaning forward on the desk and looking at the file once more. “Leaving her here and having me leave to a shitty safehouse. Should I be concerned about the distance?” He knows that his decision back than has been respected, eventually anyways with Hudson and his crabby attitude while Black’s was more cool silence with equally cool words. The change is evidenced by Hudson actually giving you credit, but never to your face. You look at Adler like he grew a second head each time he tells you when it’s just them Hudson actually gave you a compliment, face doubtful. At Hudson’s lack of reaction besides giving him an unamused look, Adler continued. “When’s my flight exactly?”

“A month.” At Adler’s eyes darting to his in question at the length, Hudson gave him a careful look. “It will give enough time for you to finish up what you have here for the time being since you just arrived a few days ago. And it’s enough time for Bell to decode the operation.”

So he hasn’t given it to Bell yet? But that’s not what he focused on. Hudson is acting oddly, Adler observed with a slight crinkle to his brow as he looked up at the man.

“I’m gathering it’s going to be a long operation.”

He didn’t say it like a question. Hudson nodded.

“You’re going to be in Europe for awhile. We need your eyes back up there.” It’s not surprising and Adler wants to go as quickly as possible to stop Perseus but he can recognize what Hudson’s trying to do. And it’s off putting to say the least. Hudson spotted Adler’s scrutiny, releasing a small huff out his nose. “I’m not blind, Adler. I, as well as everyone else here, can see how you and Bell have this. . .magnetizing bond,” the man settled with a motion of his hand as Adler stared. “But you and I both understand what’s at stake, Russ. I’ll give you what you need till than.”

Hudson hit his head and thinks the sky is purple. That’s the only explanation for the man’s rare kindness. Despite the man eventually accepting Bell, and even a harder time accepting him and Bell together, the man still won’t what someone might call their biggest fan in being a couple.

Once Hudson motioned for him to come with him to hand Bell the files, with his planned lunch break with you near either way, they walked through the halls and elevator till they were in your department. Only to see you not at your desk and talking to a woman who had a kind smile on her face, a bag in her hands as you did a motion to the elevators they just came out of. Adler heard Hudson’s breath hitch next to him.

“Jenny?”

The woman turned her face away from yours, the both of you now facing the two men as the others in the office openly stared with a mix of grins and smiles on their faces.

The woman’s smile, if possible, brightened more and lit up her face.

“Jason!” She went straight towards the shocked man, giving him a hug which he reciprocated after the shock going away at seeing his wife here. Adler stepped aside, instead focusing on you and his mood lightening once more, stepping to your side as you gave him an acknowledging soft glance before focusing back on the pair as he did the same, Hudson questioning on Jenny’s appearance at his work. “Oh please! I wanted to surprise you. Here,” the woman handed him the bag she had, which Hudson opened, seemed too at a loss to think to take this to a more private setting for once and revealed quite an expensive watch as the man could only stare. The woman wrung her hands nervously, a smile on her face. “You like it? I saw you staring at it once and I just felt it would be perfect for today of all days.”

He heard Bell murmur something about the woman saying to you about being Hudson’s wife, which he confirmed as he stood next to you, brushing his arm against yours as you leaned against a desk. You whispering to him once more you didn’t expect such a woman for someone like Hudson, which Adler chuckle good naturedly and about to reply only for Hudson to seem to snap out of his stupor and stare at his wife before grabbing her waist and giving her a kiss. The office whooped at that, seeing someone like Hudson like that a rarity and even Adler showed his surprise as his brows rose as you gasped softly next to him.

Hudson pulled away from the kiss, giving everyone a heated glare as his wife’s head leaned against his chest, his hand to her neck to hold her there.

“What’s got all of you gawking?” He asked sharply. “Get back to work! Now!”

No one had to be told twice, heads bowing and scurrying to their desks. You and Adler still stared though, as Hudson gave his thanks to his wife with a small peck to the forehead and her eyes glimmering lovingly up at him as she told him ‘Happy Anniversary.’

Well, that explains it. No wonder Hudson is acting nice.

Seeing that Hudson was distracted, Adler turned towards you to ask what you would want to eat for lunch only for you to have a dazed look in your eye as you stared at Hudson and his wife. Lost in thought.

“So even Hudson can look like that. . .”

Adler glanced at the couple before turning towards you, giving a light shrug and putting an arm behind you on the desk you were leaning against.

“That man has a heart. Just buried under the need to be an ass as well as having a stick up his own.”

You pulled your lips between your teeth, distracted.

“They just—they look real happy. You should’ve seen Mrs. Hudson when she came in here. Wanting someone to guide her to his office. Even saying he probably won’t like her in here but she didn’t want to wait anymore.”

Adler turned his gaze to you, giving a hum in acknowledgment at your words as he stared down at you. Something tugging on his mind and gut about you acting strangely.

“It is their Anniversary.”

You repeated the word in a low quiet murmur, to yourself as you bowed your head to look at the ground and played with the collar of your turtleneck. And than he saw it, his mind stopping as he stiffened as if ice poured over him, noticing the interesting way your lips pulled into a hopeful ardor smile and how your eyes had a look where you were seeing something that wasn’t here.

The empty space of his ring finger that’s been bare for years burned.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Adler did his best to ignore what he saw that day, because he does not know how to tell Bell it’s something that he’s done and now it’s gone. But incidents kept occurring, incidents he now noticed that he realizes there were past ones, where he would see that interesting unique look you had when a hint of commitment is being shown. Or of a future that actually doesn’t involve both of them constantly leaving in missions, which he will have to do in a few weeks time.

He hasn’t told you yet, even when Hudson gave you the files you need to decode that day, too distracted and trying to find a way to have a talk with you. Because this is integral to talk about.

But than you would make stray comments when they watched T.V. for once, about couples in whatever show and movie on. Like The Great Gasby, as you leaned on his shoulder on the couch with his arm around you with a blanket over both of them.

“I just don’t understand why Daisy just leaves Gatsby like that,” you grumble on his shoulder, mad at the woman who basically had a hand in Gatsby’s ruin. “She clearly loved him but she chose to be with that horrible дерьмо like Tom instead.”

Adler thought of the plot, staring at how Gatsby’s played by Robert Redford(he remembers the first time you saw the actor, you got excited and called him Adler’s twin. He doesn’t see it. You called him the better twin either way.) floated in the reddening pool. He put a hand to your head, fingers caressing your hair.

“She chose what she wished. Some people are just set in their ways. Even love can’t change that.”

Adler looked down at you, only to see your eyes swim with pity at the screen and making Adler’s mouth quietly shut at what he wanted to bring up.

“That’s so sad,” you say with sympathy before turning your head to look directly at him with a smile. “Good thing you weren’t quite set in yours, right?” You pecked his cheek and Adler did his best to not let his growing guilt show by keeping his face carefully neutral.

Another time was when they both got out of work, two of you gathering groceries only for your attention to be grabbed as they walked through the aisles with his tease fresh to you about to not make your solyanka dish too sour this time but your eyes turned distracted towards a crying child at the end of the aisle. The mother, he imagines, kneeled in front of the kid. Telling him sweet words they can get something later and if he would want ice cream instead after they finish here. The child, wet with tears and snot, did a loud sniffle with a hand to his face before nodding slightly. The mother breaking out into a smile, the child doing a shaky one as well before grabbing his mother’s outstretched hand and continued their shopping.

Adler stared at the two a moment longer, before glancing down at you. And you had that look to you again, as you leaned against the shopping cart with a hand holding your head. A distant yet wistful look, one that looked eerily similar to how you looked at him back than—before he wisened up and finally was able to confess.

“Kids sure can get rowdy at that age,” he decided to comment, grabbing an item from the shelves as if to look at it but his eyes were on you under his glasses. “But also easy to please. Reminds me of someone.”

You blinked, shooting him a look of offense with no heat. It made him smirk at you with a cocked brow.

“Ass,” you called, trying to hold back a smile and failing before looking at the item in his hand and asking if he wanted pickles. Adler putting it back with a shake of his head that maybe they can have a barbecue one day to buy it. You accepted the excuse easily, moving the cart but you had that look again before you glanced at him with a small smile. “That implies you’re good with kids, doesn’t it?”

He tilted his head. Guess it does.

“Not exactly, sweetheart. Kids can be hard to handle. Even for me.”

You snorted, raising an eyebrow at him in disbelief as they moved to another aisle and passed others.

“America’s Monster defeated by a child’s teary face and toys being thrown at him? What would people think?” He put a hand under your chin, making you momentarily stop with the cart as he gave you a gentle but silencing kiss. You looked at him oddly when he pulled back. “What was that?”

He shot you a ghost of a smile, teasing.

“Can’t exactly hear what people may think if the one who knows is too busy with her mouth doing other things.”

He really wants you to drop it.

You thankfully fell for the bait with a loud gasp in mock anger, smacking his shoulder with a call of his name that you use in your accent but you were open in a way where he wants to make sure you always keep it. After everything. Especially after everything.

The pit in his stomach only rose.

Growing after comments that seem innocent enough but Adler knows how little meaningless comments can actually be anything but. With purpose and thought, no matter how slight. Sometimes it’s not even comments, it’s how you would have that stare that looked faraway, looking like as if you were biting the inside of your cheek as you did so. A look in your eyes when they passed by a jewelry store and you looking a little too long. It looked too much like before.

But, like you, he seems to be following a similar pattern on how he acted before.

He still hasn’t told you about the mission he’ll be leaving for. It’s been two weeks done and gone.

The pit that was rising in his stomach dropped suddenly, when you answered a phone call to their landline. Your face instantly brightening to an excited grin.

“Frank!”

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You felt like your grin was too wide on your cheeks, but you didn’t care.

Frank’s call revealed that he’s back down here for awhile, him being gone for a long period of time and wants to play catch up with you and Russell. After you asked if Alex could join like old times, Frank asked you in mock offense if he’s just fucking chopped liver. You denying it with a laugh as Russell listened in, his face neutral as Frank answered through the receiver that Alex just wants to spend time with his family which you understood. You were trying to think on what day and time they can all meet up before Russell casually took the phone from you, greeting Frank cooly before saying they should call up Sims to see too so they can all get together. Something that made you bounce more in excitement when the plans were forming.

Russell rose a brow at you but stayed silent next to you as they sat in the bustling but quieting diner in downtown that had leaves from fall sporadically in the streets, managing to get the table as lunch rush was slowing down as they waited for Frank and Sims.

“Someone’s excited,” he commented.

You turned your smile towards him, Adler could’ve been blinded if he wasn’t careful, even with his shades. But you couldn’t help it! It’s been so long since they’ve seen Frank!

“Of course I am! How long has it been? Six or seven months? It’s hard to get us all together like this.” You sighed, leaning against your seat as you felt Russell’s arm behind you on the booth shift so you could sit more comfortably with his hand grazing your shoulder. “Shame though that Alex couldn’t make it. It’d be like a whole reunion—well, except Park. But it’d be a CIA reunion if he could’ve came.”

Russell shrugged lightly next to you, idly watching behind his shades the waitresses and waiters come and go as well as some of the lingering customers in the other tables.

“He’s got a lot in his hands. Besides, of course he’ll choose his family immediately when he comes back. He already spends enough of his time in missions,” Russell said, before shaking his head. “It’s a lot to balance. Especially in our kind of work. It’s amazing he can do it at all.”

You frowned, glancing at Russell before looking away.

“Right. . .”

Hearing your pensive tone, Russell turned a questioning look towards you. He sighed, moving to check his watch as he muttered that Sims should’ve came by now.

You looked around the diner, before practically jumping out your seat as you spotted who came into the restaurant and walking towards the booth—or rather, sauntering.

“Frank!” You would’ve knocked the man over from your hug if the man was smaller, but all he did was do a surprised grunt and a hearty chuckle as he slowly returned the hug around your shoulders.

“Damn Bell,” he said to your ear before he pulled back just as you did, his hands on your shoulders as he did an amused grin underneath his scruffily trimmed beard. Your hands were still on his shoulders that were covered with a dark gray jacket and underneath having a blue and white plaid shirt with jeans to match the outfit and black boots. “If I didn’t know any better, you were aiming to do a pinning move on me.”

You laughed, stepping back as Russell stepped over—him standing up soon after you got out your seat and watching the interaction with an unreadable look on his face besides an amused arch of the brow at Frank’s words.

Frank’s eyes focused on Russell, his grin settling into more of a coy smirk as he stepped forward

“If ain’t Russell fuckin Adler.” He reached a hand that Russell took firmly and with a twitch of scarred lips. “Still got those glasses glued to your face. When you gonna get that looked at?”

“Around the same time you get that bush for a beard looked at,” Russell retorted easily, making Frank snort and you lightly laugh.

The three of you settled back into the booth, interestingly Russell wishing to you to take the inside instead of him. You just give him a questioning glance, Russell only giving you an answering stare before you went in and Russell put his arm behind you again with his hand brushing against the curve of your neck and shoulder. The three of you began to talk about the past few months with only a comment from Frank that he’s surprised Sims didn’t make it before him with Russell checking his watch again with a frown before you stated that he probably got stuck in traffic or something. The three of you ordered only drinks, wishing to wait for Sims until they ordered as they lightly conversed about the work you and Russell were doing with Perseus. From your coding and Russell’s watchful reading until they get deployed for another mission.

You took note that Russell wanted to move on from them towards Frank, sitting across in the middle as he loudly scoffed and leaned back against his seat, arms spread wide with ankle atop his knee.

“Same old, same old with me. Sticking bullets in heads that need a little metal in their brains to stop being little shits.”

“I don’t think that helps them stop being shits, though,” you say, grinning as Russell started to play with a piece of your hair by your neck and Frank snorted again with a matching grin of his own as he leaned forward against the table.

“Ain’t that the truth. Still stink up the place too somehow with their fellow rats that just love to fuck everyone and everything around them.”

Russell turned his eyes towards Frank.

“Heard you were dealing with cartels in Nicaragua. A growing name keeps coming up there.” Frank met Russell’s gaze and away from your own as Russell took a sip of his drink, twirling a strand of your hair lazily, before continuing, “Menendez. Thought that was handled before?”

Frank shrugged.

“It’s his son.” Russell hummed in attention but Frank continued with another half shrug. “Hopefully he doesn’t do something stupid like his old man. He’s lucky to be even fuckin’ alive. But I wasn’t there for that—they may be trying to rise back again but there’s plenty of others that are on top that are making too much of a mess.”

Russell nodded as you listened, before he checked his watch with the hand that was playing with your hair before sighing and looking between the two of you.

“I’m gonna call Sims. He’s taking too long.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze before sliding out the booth with a subtle nod to Frank and stepped out the diner, already dialing on the large clunky phone he took out his pocket and standing outside the diner.

“Weird how Sims is taking a bit,” you comment with a concerned frown. You hope he’s alright. His flight landed earlier based on the earlier call so it’s not that.

You stared at Russell’s back, favorite tan jacket facing you as he stood out in the sidewalk with the phone.

“I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe he can’t make it.” Your frowned deepened at that as you turned back to Frank who took a sip of his beer, knowing Russell would want to see his best friend. Frank lowered the bottle, putting his attention towards you. “How are you, Bell?”

Your lips turned up into a half smile.

“Thought you already asked me that.”

Frank waved his hand flippantly.

“That was work shit. I ain’t here to keep talking about stuff I live through every day. How are you?”

You chuckled at his words but felt the warmth behind them. Despite Frank’s at times vulgar words and brash attitude, he cares deeply for the ones he chooses. You always appreciated that about him.

“I’m fine,” you say, leaning in against the table with crossed arms. “I like it when it’s quiet and just in one place for once that’s longer than just a week.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” Frank looked over at you, gaze traveling from your content face to the strand Russell was playing with out from its style to your hands before looking up again with a teasing grin rising on his lips. “And how are you and Robert Redford’s twin over there? Only about amount of time till you actually can hear church bells and everybody gets to throw rice at you saps.”

Your expression turned strained as you looked away, quickly trying to hide it by raising a hand to lean on your head with fingers hiding your mouth as you looked back at the entrance of the diner to see Russell begin to pace some as he spoke on the phone.

Frank noticed, his brows furrowing.

“Hey,” he called with his gravel voice as you looked back at him, frowning under his beard at your somber expression. “Hey, what’s wrong? You guys fighting or something? He sure didn’t act like it. . .” Frank muttered lowly to himself with a glance towards the entrance as you shook your head and sighed, dropping your head against your hands. He looked back at you, leaning forward against the table as he gripped his beer. “Okay, than what? He better be treating you right, Bell. Especially after everything.”

Frank’s tone had a hint of danger mixed with protectiveness which you didn’t blink at. Frank and Alex were pissed when they found out about what happened to you—they already were protective before but those two seemed to have increased it after that. They were bewildered like everyone else when you and Russell decided to tell everyone about you two, that you both got together. You guys aren’t exactly a rom com couple. But they, like everyone else, saw you guys loved each other despite what happened before.

“It’s just. . .” You sighed, as you closed your eyes and continued holding your head. “. . . I don’t think Russell wants to marry me.”

“He doesn’t want to what?! Why?”

“I just don’t think he doesn’t want to marry.” You lifted your head slightly, looking at Frank’s bewildered and irritated scowl. “He’s. . . been acting weird. I’ve been throwing hints for awhile and I think he’s noticed.”

“Like what kind of hints?”

You released a breath, lifting your head as you leaned it back against the seat.

“Just—you know, how certain married couples look. Certain scenes in movies. Random families with kids or even me pausing to look at a jewelry store.” Your gaze looked at Frank’s sobered expression, his brows furrowed as he looked down at the table . “He knows. He tries to change the subject or distract me and thinks I don’t notice. I just. . .don’t even try to bring it up. I can understand why he wouldn’t want to.”

Frank’s gaze darted towards yours.

“Why he—why he wouldn’t want to? Why wouldn’t he want to. . .?! Nothing’s wrong with you, Bell—“

“That’s not it,” you cut off softly. “I know it’s not me. I just. . . think he doesn’t want to do that again.”

Frank’s expression soured once more, his eyes moving towards the entrance to find Russell again only to mutter a curse. You followed his gaze to see that Russell wasn’t there. Something must’ve happened. Russell would’ve told you though.

Maybe he just started pacing for longer steps?

You frowned, thinking that odd only to blink when Frank stood and motioned his head and hand for you to take to rise out your seat.

“Come on,” he says at your confused look, a sharp grin growing on his lips that spelled trouble but promised fun. “He ditched us so let’s ditch back. There’s an arcade right across from here. We’ll be able to see when he comes back if we play by the windows.”

You had a small smile on your face as you looked up at Frank, who’s brows arched as he looked down at you, patiently waiting for you to take his hand.

You took it, his grin widening and helping you get up as you had a teasing gleam in your eyes.

“Thought I was the nerd?”

“You are. This is for you, not me.” You let go as the two of you left the diner, throwing him an unbelieving look as Frank’s brows furrowed. “What? It is.”

“Uh huh. So you’re saying I’m gonna beat you in Enduro and Boxing?”

Frank scoffed loudly, mixing with a laugh as they crossed the street towards the arcade. You looking and scanning the sidewalk to see Russell wasn’t anywhere. Maybe he’s talking in the car.

“Already shit talking, Bell? We didn’t even start yet.”

“Well, it is because I’m better at it than you aren’t I? Naturally nerds are more advanced than a regular old man like you.”

“Hey!” Frank opened the door for you but did it violently after you said those words, looking offended as your grin widened, amused. You walking in and Frank going back to your side with a mock glare. “Take that back. I still got it. I’m so going to kick your ass.”

You threw him an arrogant look.

“We’ll see. Maybe they’ll have mannequins in the back to take out your anger after your loss.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up and play me.”

The both of you went to a game by the window to look out into the street, choosing the race car game as Frank took out quarters and the played as you focused while Frank kept his narrowed eyes on the screen with a very concentrated look on his face that made you laugh. Your shoulders feeling lighter although Frank’s shoulder would try to push against you to distract you and you lose your grip as he cursed as he was losing which made you laugh more as you taunted him. And you won, obviously. To Frank’s displeasure based on his low mutters that these machines make you need glasses anyways.

The two of you were in the sitting area by the doors, able to see if Russell comes by. At the thought of Russell, your relaxed expression turned sad acceptance again. You felt Frank’s stare on you.

“Why do you think he won’t want to, Bell? Cause he already did it? ” You stayed silent, staring at your shoes as you nodded. Frank tsked, his elbows on his knees as he tried to catch your eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what he’s thinking if that’s the case. Divorced, single, widowed or whatever the fuck—anyone who’s got their head screwed on straight would marry you, Bell.”

The words were meant as a comfort. But it just made your heart pang as you moved your eyes to the side to meet Frank’s deep sincere blue with a sad smile.

“Thank you, Frank,” putting a hand to his broad tense shoulder and him letting you as he searched your eyes, before he frowned at what he saw. “You always know what to say. But I only want Russell to marry me. Not anyone. And I don’t think he will. Which is fine, I get it. He got really hurt last time. . . It’ll . . . It’ll bring back memories that I won’t want him to go through.” You than stood, facing an unreadable Frank who appeared tense. “I’m going to use the bathroom real quick. I’ll be right back.”

You turned away quickly before Frank could see your watery eyes, stuffing clenching hands in your pockets and heading towards the restroom at the back.

You know you probably won’t get it.

But, like always, you want.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Adler hung up with Sims with a deep sigh, taking off his glasses and rubbing his face as he stood by a light pole.

His words of advise echoing in America’s Monster’s head after explaining he could meet them later another day since he had car trouble, and hearing Adler’s concerns about you and your wants over the phone and his own feelings in the matter.

“Shit, Russ. We aren’t getting any younger you know. I know. . . your situation with your other lady but. . .you can’t let your happiness go like that, man. I’ve seen you two—you guys are the real deal. Bell knows you like I do—maybe even more. And I’m not talking about how you are in the sheets cause fuck that image.” Adler laughed at that, Sims chuckling over the phone before his friend continued. “Thing is, you guys get each other. She doesn’t care about the shit you’ve done and I know you don’t care about her shit neither. You’re happy man. You know you are. So what’s the issue?”

Adler doesn’t know. He can’t even say it’s an issue. There isn’t an issue.

Sims is right. Bell is amazing.

You understand him better than anyone else. Only dating for a year out the window because their situation was unique. His inner demons he would rather keep hidden but you would soothe with acceptance and care. Which isn’t surprising, you’ve experienced them before.

Is that the issue? That he’s hurt you before and just feels guilt for forcing you to be stuck with him?

But that’s not it. Because you want it.

And you deserve to want it—to get everything you want. Adler will do anything to make sure you get anything you wish.

You deserve every caress and every kiss and every gift and everything the world could offer.

Hell, he would kill for you.

He’s reached a point where, in dark mind and thoughts, he’ll do whatever it took to make sure you’re happy and alive and by his side. He would sacrifice teammates if necessary.

Fucked up. But he’s always known he isn’t a saint.

You knew that too.

You’ve always known.

Before MK—Ultra, during or after—you never judged him for it. You had an understanding with him—able to seehim and not just talk air when you say you understood. You’re the only one that could.

The other side of the coin—matching in intensity but different backgrounds and purposes. Until you chose that day and he did too. On those cliffs.

Adler moved a hand over to where he knew the scar was on his right shoulder before he clenched his jaw, lifting his head and putting his shades back on. He began walking to where he saw Woods and Bell go to earlier when he walked back around the corner in the direction of the arcade.

Adler is going to make another one.

However, just as he walked in through the doors of the arcade room—he saw Woods stand up with a scowl on his face and no Bell only for the man to grab him by the collar roughly as Adler’s eyes narrowed behind his shades.

“Tell me right now what the fuck you’re thinking?” Woods voice was quiet but each word was enunciated with force as he tightened the hold on his collar. “Do you have any idea how you’re hurting, Bell?”

Adler shamefully winced but stared at Woods calmly.

“What exactly did she say?”

“That you’re a blind wallowing motherfucker who don’t know what’s up or down and how to work a ring.” Charming. Seems you told him and I didn’t do quite a good job like I thought. “What do you think she said? What the fuck you’re doing? Twiddling your fingers until you croak?”

Adler met Wood’s angered stare, jaw ticking as he put a hand to push Wood’s hand away. He didn’t budge and seemed to glare harder.

“Woods,” he began quietly, “you know how it was for me before with—“

Woods shook him once with the collar, teeth clenched as Adler had to cut himself from the movement—hand atop Woods tightening in warning as his gaze sharpened.

“That bitch ain’t Bell so I’m not hearing it. I don’t know what’s wrong with you or what you’re doing besides chasing Perseus like a dog to a fuckin bone!” Others were glancing in their direction now but Woods didn’t seem to care as Adler met his stare, Woods eyes narrowing before widening before turning into slits as he growled. “Adler, that woman looks at you like you created this shitty earth. And if you aren’t treating her the same, you might find that she gets stolen away to someone who might.”

Adler’s own eyes narrowed dangerously, a suspicion correctly made as he successfully pushed Woods hand away.

“I knew it. You always were more protective of Bell compared to Mason. And he’s the one that went through brainwashing and could understand her best.”

“Don’t,” Woods says lowly. “Not a good idea to mention that. Might punch you again. And I don’t see what makes you so worked up,” Woods crossed his arms. “Anyone knows no ring means free game,” he added with a point to his hand.

“Than that just means an extra reason to give it to her.”

Woods brows furrowed before he blinked in realization, dropping his arms to his sides as he observed Adler and the truth in his words. Adler’s countenance the epitome of serious.

“Huh,” Woods blinked again, scratching the back of his head. “So Sims woke you up from this stupid haze you put yourself in?” Adler confirmed with a nod and Woods scoffed, sounding similar to a laugh as he sat back down in the seating. The others in the arcade going back to their games. “And here I was thinking to myself you would die before you would even think to pop the question.”

Adler’s lips twitched before they settled.

“Does Bell know?”

“Man what? What kind of brother you think I am?” Adler pointed out he heavily implied someone would take Bell right from underneath him and Woods guffawed, waving his hand at him. “Get out of here! I ain’t got what you guys do. As long as you’re serious about the ring thing. Right?” Woods asked imploringly with a look up towards him.

Adler knows what he has to do.

And it’s to be by your side.

Adler nodded. Woods giving a slow nod of his own as he stared at the ground. He decided to break the tension as he prepped a cigarette in his lips.

“Wouldn’t you die first? You’re older than me.”

Woods threw him a truly befuddled look.

“What are you saying?” He than sharply grinned, as if he knew a secret joke. “No one can kill me.”

Adler rolled his eyes at the false equivalency before he focused on you as you exited the bathroom.

You deserve the world, Bell. And I’m going to give it.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You don’t know what happened, but something changed after that day in the diner. You know something happened based on Russell’s wrinkled collar but there wasn’t any injuries in any of the two men.

Russell explained to you what happened with Sims, but the three of you ate dinner together. While the four of them was able to reconvene together the next day—conversations easily flowing with Russell’s hand either around your shoulders or touching your knee under the table, your hand atop of his and squeezing with him squeezing back, while throwing a soft smirk or glance your way under his shades before focusing back into the conversation.

Russell also explained to you, in their house with a regretful mien as he kneeled in one knee in front of you as you sat on the couch, that he’ll be away for a mission in two weeks. A long one. You let out a sigh at the news, but smiled lovingly at the man and kissed his scarred cheek than his lips. Thinking to yourself this explained more of his odd behavior as you spoke to him. That it was part of the job after all. And that means you won’t let him out of your sight.

He relaxed as he stared up at you as he squeezed your knee, half-smiling before something seemed to change. Your eyes blinking as the air shifted as Russell had one of his dark promising smirks, eyes burning as he shifted. Settling more as fully kneeled, but between your legs that with his hand on your knee grazing upwards, your stomach doing flips and warmth rising as Russell’s eyes didn’t leave yours. When he spoke, it was his low husky timbre that would always make your toes curl because you knew what it would mean.

“Don’t worry, лапушкаka.” His Russian, masterful as always, dripped with sin even though lapooshka merely meant sweetheart. He tugged you closer to the edge of the couch with his hand on your belt loop, your excitement growing when your lower half hit abdomen and stayed, his hand on your thigh not leaving as it squeezed in appreciation when you gasped at the movement, his smirk widening. “I won’t let you out of my sight either. I think you can handle it. Hope you don’t mind my watch beginning now.”

You certainly didn’t mind.

You didn’t mind his languid yet purposeful touches on loosening your clothing. Didn’t mind how his stubble slightly scratched you as he would kiss or graze his lips when he’d tease, your nerves tingling along with the apex between your thighs. You certainly didn’t mind when you keened and mewled, his head lowered in between your naked legs as if a man starved and fingers working efficiently. Russell didn’t seem to mind when you automatically bucked your hips towards him, hand gripping his hair. Only humming ,pleased, that made you moan from the small vibration, his hands moving at your backside and pressing, as if he wishes for you to do it again. You think he would mind if you somehow suffocated him.

Only for him to notice your hesitance, face raising a tad and your eyes dilating, glazed, at his disheveled appearance with a upturn of wet lips that he licked purposefully with his eyes up at you.

“Ride me like a stallion, sweetheart,” he said, his breath on you and making you wriggle your legs over his shoulders. His gaze gleaming as he pressed his lips to your inner thigh, eyes still on you as you could only stare. “Go ahead. I want you too.” He put your hand back on his head that you dropped, a final glance towards you with an arched brow as said once more, “Ride,” and continued his attack.

Needless to say, you didn’t mind doing as he asked.

After, when you were spent and content as you laid on a relaxed yet thoughtful Russell on the couch, you moved your head for your chin to lay on his chest.

“What’s gotten into you?”

Russell peered down at you, your inquisitive expression with an imploring smile making his own lips turn up.Transferring his hold around your waist to graze your cheek.

“Can’t have sudden bouts of energy to please you, Bell?”

You snorted at his own attack of his age as you shook your head at him. Only to close your eyes when he pressed your previously heated temple, staying there for a moment with his hand on the nape of your neck before pulling away, blue eyes lidded.

“Like I said, I don’t want you out of my sight. So I’m going to savor it—savor you,” he emphasized with a teasing glint that made you blush and lightly smack his chest which he chuckled at as he went on, sobering. “Sorry how I’ve been acting. It won’t happen again. You have my word.”

That should’ve been your first hint.

But you just continued, the days going on by like normal whether at work or at home. You almost done with the codes Hudson assigned you but the back of your mind wondering what caused the change. Russell seeming to notice you were upset when he would dismiss your hints before, so the apology must’ve been about that.

For when you weren’t at work or lunch or them hanging around Woods and Sims, Russell seemed restless and wanted you near.

It was three days before Russell will have to leave, you done with the code, and you probably wouldn’t see him till sometime next year for December is around the corner, that Russell told you to get ready for an outing tonight for dinner, eyes on you as you still laid atop of him in their bed in the morning. He looked excited and you were too.

You enjoyed when he took you out to eat in the nice restaurants and dress up for them. It happened every so often, but especially when right before they had to leave for a mission. Whether it was a mission together or separated, they made sure to create a nice good memory before they had to do their job’s.

The sex is nice too, you think with a blush as you get dressed up in a slitted dress that appealed to you, doing wonders for your shape and prepping your hair and face. Russell can get pretty handsy when you dress up, constantly needing to have his hands on you. Which he normally does, but the touches are methodical and purposeful to get you worked up. Sometimes, even before they practically rip their clothes off each other, he would touch you when they were out and sitting in the restaurant for anyone to notice if they really looked with eyes staying on you and Russell’s table. You’re no better though. You can tease at times too when Russell wore his suits or his long sleeved buttoned shirts that would hug his figure, but not as much as him. I just hope he doesn’t accidentally rip this dress like that other time. I really like this one.

You were almost done in your master bathroom. Russell getting ready in the guest bathroom downstairs to make it quicker to the 7 PM reservation got for the restaurant.

When you were done, you looked over yourself one more time. Checking if your hair is out of place anywhere and your makeup in order.

“Bell?” Russell called from downstairs. “You ready?”

“Almost!” You called back, checking the mirror once more before leaving and going downstairs.

Russell turned to you when you reached the bottom half of the stairs, taking a long look at you like you did him. He was wearing a light tan two piece suit that complimented his hair, with shiny brown brogue shoes to match alongside a rust colored tie for once. He rarely wears them and prefers to keep the first two buttons of his long sleeved shirts unbuttoned so he can feel like he’s breathing. Not that he doesn’t appreciate the ties, he’s just always had a preference. You weren’t complaining though, the suit hugging him nicely and accentuating all the parts you love about him as your eyes roved up to meet his.

You noted he was clean shaven as well, no stubble in sight and did you have your own personal appreciation when he looked like that. Your pleasure going upwards along with fluster when you spotted Russell’s soft eyes like you were the only woman in the world yet glinting in passionate admiration, looking half tempted to not go anywhere after all.

“Well, don’t you clean up nice.” You tease, Russian mixed with American thick as your eyes moved downward and up once more, catching how Russell’s eyes gleamed in smug amusement at your unsubtle checking out. You placed a hand to his chest, feeling the soft material of his suit you imagine hastily releasing him from it later as you stared up at him through your lashes. “Hello, красивый.” You complimented, for he was indeed handsome.

The handsomest man in the world, you think.

Russell smiled at your words, hand going to your hip.

“Hello, красивая.” He complimented back as your smile widened, your cheeks warm. “I can say the same to you. Let me see,” he put a hand to yours, raising it as you twirled around him with a giggle as he hummed, pleased, before bringing you in for a kiss to your temple. “You’re so perfect,” he said to your temple, the content clear in his low voice, before motioning the crook of his arm for you to grab which you did as they walked out of the house and towards the car. “Hope you’re ready for some Italian, wine, and being waited and foot, Bell. This is going to be a nice night.”

You wondered what he meant, for his tone wasn’t low in frustration but holding a twinge of nervousness yet anticipating hopefulness. Which is rare in of itself. Russell is rarely if ever nervous.

You glanced at him but he motioned for you to take the seat when he opened the car door, you doing so. The two of you drove to the restaurant and sat at the table, a private little corner yet able to see the shows they had here. Russell ordered the wine as you stared at the show they had, an Italian singer accompanied by a band. You were surprised at the wine as well, for Russell usually gets his bourbon, whiskey or scotch no matter where he is. You couldn’t help but raise a brow at him when the server poured the wine and after they ordered.

“Aren’t you feeling fancy? You’re going all out.”

Russell did a small half shrug, sipping his wine as he looked over at you over the glass.

“Only the best for you, Bell.”

You don’t know how him drinking wine has to do with you, but you decipher it’s because he’s partaking with you so you just let it go as you smiled curiously at him. Their food eventually out as they ate and spoke about this or that, you feeling quite light and it was these moments where you don’t mind accepting you won’t get married. Or even have a family. The quiet moments between you two is what you treasure the most, it’s what made you fall. Before. Back in the safehouse two years ago.

They got dessert just as the Italian singer left, being replaced with a male singer and a pianist you distantly noted as slowly patrons left the restaurant for it was nearing closing time. Only four other tables were filled but were also finishing up and were far enough distance away to not disturb one another as well as not see. Russell and you kept speaking, you noting a gleam in his eyes as he smiled attentively towards you. Your hand under his maneuvered to squeeze at him, raising a brow when you lowered your utensil from your mouth after the bite of the dessert.

“You alright?” You couldn’t but question, a slight tease in your tone but curiosity rising into a need to know. He’s been acting quite odd the past few days.  “You seem distracted the last few days.”

Russell’s eyes focused on you, his lips raising a little higher as he squeezed his hand on yours, shifting his knee to touch yours under the table. The other patrons outside of one shuffling away outside. Seems they and the other table were the only one’s left.

“I will be.”

You were about to question him on what he means when the last show of the night started. The piano beginning a slow melodic yet somber tune that sounded familiar to you, your eyes going towards it in curious attention. Russell in the corner of your eye looking at you intimately and you noted he shifted but all you focused on was the show. Because the man than began to sing.

“Мне говорят:  она  маленького роста,

They say to me: “She is of small stature.”

Мне говорят: «одет она слишком просто,

They say to me: “She has simple clothes.”

Мне говорят: «поверь что этот лапушкаka

They say to me:” Believe, this sweetheart

Тебе не пара совсем не пара.”

Is no match for you at all.

The piano began to pick up its pace, but it stayed true with the melodic timbre the song was aiming at for this rendition. Pleasing to your ears and hearing the smooth Russian speak about a love song you knew—you felt like you knew. A distant memory unlocked with pleasant words, lengthened in a rhythm as you could only listen, entranced.

“А она мне нравится, нравится, нравится!

But I like her, like her, like her

И для меня на свете друга лучше нет.

And there is no one better in the world as her.

А она мне нравится, нравится, нравится,

But I like her, like her, like her

И это всё, что я могу сказать в ответ. “

And it's all what I can say in reply.

You couldn’t believe this. A Russian singer in a restaurant, Italian or otherwise? Here? In America? Proudly singing like this when the Red Scare is still occurring and high? It’s a risk to be glared and spat on. You would have to be careful speaking Russian in public spaces, lest you be judged or raise tension no matter what Adler says to not mind them. But it would be best if she spoke lowly in Russian to his ear than anything else. And yet, the one’s on stage didn’t falter—not when the place was so empty. It made your Russian pride sing for once, shame and guilt of what you did before and you don’t remember much—you are still proud of where you’re from.

You turned your excited face towards Russell, gripping the table edge as you leaned in.

“Russell, do you hear this—“

Your breath got caught in your throat, the music in the background seeming to dull, your grip loosening and eyes widening at the sight before you.

Or rather, under you.

Russell’s eyes glittered in soft amusement, as he bent one knee with his elbow atop it as he stared up at you. The low light and candlelight on their table giving him an equally soft glow against his clean face, shadows flickering as the candle moves.

“I love you, Bell,” he began, quiet yet strong where you could hear him. All you could hear was his voice as you stared. “I’ve said it before, rare as it is, but I mean it when I say it. I won’t ever hurt you. Not again. Not ever. But,” he sighed, his gaze lowering for a moment before raising back up towards yours. “I’ve seemed to make that mistake anyways. You want a wedding—a family. Things I’ve already tried but life decided it wanted me to get shit on. It was hard. And when I threw my old ring to the ocean, I decided never again. Civilian life isn’t for me, can’t be for someone like me. I’ve never been a saint.” He threw you a wry smile. “But than, you came along. Not the best love story—no pop songs about this type of insanity will come. Still. You understood me. Accepted everything. And I know you see everything. You didn’t run. Somehow, I got landed with someone just as willing to do crazy shit like me.”

He chuckled here and you couldn’t help do one too, smiling down at it with a press of the lips before it quickly parted with his next few words. Russell sobering.

“Honestly, I’m surprised you even came back after your time with MI6. Much less want to see my face. Even though I wanted to see yours, something more than an update over the phone about you overseas. Just a glimpse so I can see myself.” You didn’t know this. Russell said he wanted you sooner when you went back to the CIA and touched upon their quiet feelings. He really wanted to see you. Russell took a steady inhale, lips quirked up at you as he moved a hand to his inner jacket pocket. “I thought a lot. About all this. About my own feelings of marriage. About you—us. How I’m being ridiculous and I won’t ever find someone as perfect as you, моя лапушкаka. Who actually gives a damn about me.”

You spotted the box and suddenly you felt like every cliche as tears gathered in your eyes, hand going to your chest and your open mouth as Russell opened it. The ring a beautiful jewel of diamonds but you didn’t care about that, you looked back up at Russell whose head was tilted at you, clear love in his eyes that made your hammering heart in your chest pound against your ribs and warmth going down your cheeks.

“I won’t hurt you,” he vowed. “No one will. Not when you’re with me. I’ve never been a good man so anyone who does just that signed their death. I love you, Bell, “ he repeated from before and than his head straightened as his lips did an interesting thing that made it look like he had a boyish smile. ““Согласна ли ты выйти за меня замуж, лапушкаka?”

Will you marry me, sweetheart?

You more stumbled than got out of your chair, on your knees with him as you threw a hug around Russell with a blubbering joyous sob. Not knowing what to say and stuck on what to say due to your short breaths as you nuzzled Russell’s neck. You felt his chest rumble with a chuckle, arms going around your waist.

“You’re ruining your dress and makeup,” he lightly reprimanded, you letting out a choked laugh as your hold on his neck tightened. He shifted, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m going to take this as a yes, Bell,  if you don’t speak up. Is it a yes?”

You pulled back your teary face, lightly smacking his chest that only made his curved lips widen.

“Ass. Of course it’s a yes!”

Russell threw you an affectionate smirk, hand going up your face to thumb away some tears which you helped on your other side as you sniffled. He put the hand holding the box between you two, grabbing your left hand and slowly sliding in the ring to where it belonged. Where it belonged. You threw your arms around him again before giving him a sloppy yet intimate kiss that he easily gave back, his arms around you a comfort before you pulled back. Your eyes watery and half lidded as you stared up at him, hand to his scarred cheek and lips brushing his.

“Я люблю вас, мой голубушка красивый, рассел,” you say lovingly. “Я тоже не хороший человек. I won’t let anyone touch you, моя любовь, рассел.”

I love you, my dear handsome Russell. I’m not a good person either. My love.

Russell took your hand for the both of you to stand, and you noticed the waiters were looking at them in support along with the show people. They must’ve stopped playing a few minutes ago.

Russell kissed your knuckles, clear blue eyes teasing.

“The handsomest?” His lips brushed yours as he said it, almost caressing the ring on your finger.

You would’ve smacked him again but you just tugged him down by the neck and give him an answering kiss that steadily grew passionate. You pulling away with a slow amorous smile, ringed hand on his smooth cheek as his eyes burned.

“The handsomest.”

Needless to say, when they went back home and Russell’s gentle teasing and kisses and loving with you doing the same, he didn’t mind you weren’t wearing underwear at all under your dress. Didn’t mind at all.

▞ ▚

▞ ▚

▛

Will you marry me, sweetheart? -“Согласна ли ты выйти за меня замуж, лапушкаka?”(Ty vyydesh' za menya zamuzhI love you-Я люблю вас)

I love you-Я люблю вас(YA lyublyu vas)

I'm not a good person either-Я тоже не хороший человек(YA tozhe ne khoroshiy chelovek)

Thank you to @salvija who helps me out with the Russian! 💗

What can I say? I love Soft!Dom!Adler. It's a weakness of mine. Also, I'm a sucker for Woods. I did like him first before I fell head over heels with Adler.

Also, I know Hudson loves his wife and kids a lot. He does. He's the type that has to be hard and glaring all the time in his work because he has to, can't be soft and can't lose face or have anyone disrespect him. But, you manage to catch him outside of work and get through those glares he loves to give everyone, you might see a softie. Might. Only to those he really loves.

I don't know. Might make a Bell x Hudson fic. That scene in my other story has had me thinking. Expect that at some point as well as a literal Enemies to Lovers fic when it comes to those two—and even a true one with Adler x Bell.

Anyways! Hope ya'll enjoyed!

Tell me if you wish to be tagged for my future works or to not be tagged.

Tags: @tr1ppylady @parkeepingparker @weirdoartist21 @mayaibnlaahad @salvija @kylezkie4adler @asaltryefl @stupid-stinky @aurora-windu @zombiequeennxx @writer-of-various @holy-crap-i-am-russell-adler @zulema117-blog @kylezkie4adler @darlingor @smokeywhalee @quizzyisdone @strawberrypooch

[gaia-aviva]

I was tagged by @geekymoviemom . Thank you!

Hit shuffle on your playlist and post the first ten songs that play

Beauty and the Beast (Finale) - Audra McDonald, Emma Thompson & Ensemble - Beauty and the Beast

In This Life (Updated Mix) - Delta Goodrem

Yahad (Shir La’ahava) - Gaya

Punjabi Wedding Song - Craig Pruess

Candy In the Sun - Swirl 360

מילים יפות - Glykeria

For Sale - Bandido

Feker Libi - Eden Alene

Esi Man Klat - Samanta Tina & Rassell

Mudbira - A-WA

I tag: @drifteratheart, @lovegg3, @effulgentpoet, @prgirlsrock, @onceuponasonhadora, @ofvalkyrja, @puddytatty

[xmylittleghostthoughtsx]

Hattest du schon mal so große Angst jemanden zu verlieren,dass du nicht wusstest ,ob du gleich in Ohnmacht fällst oder dich übergeben musst?

Keine Ahnung ,man fühlt sich unfassbar schwindelig und der ganze Körper zittert nur.

Ich liebe dieses Mädchen so sehr und ich möchte sie nie wieder verlieren und solange an ihrer Seite bleiben bis der Tod uns irgendwann trennt.

Was hoffentlich nicht schnell passiert sondern erst,wenn wir alt und grau sind.

Ich habe niemals zuvor so etwas gefühlt und es fühlt sich verdammt gut an und ich möchte keinen Tag mehr ohne sie sein.

Ich war auch noch nie so glücklich oder habe mich irgendwo zu Hause gefühlt,aber bei ihr ist es so, sie ist mein Zuhause.

Hat irgendwer von euch schon mal in die Augen einer Person geblickt und alles gesehen, was er zum Leben braucht und in seinem Leben brauchen wird ?

Ich weiß, wie es sich anfühlt,wenn ich in ihre Augen schaue, dann sehe ich meine Zukunft und mein ganzen Leben.

Sie ist so wunderschön und hat den perfekten Charakter, für mich wird es niemals mehr eine Andere geben und ich werde sie auf Händen tragen und ihr das geben,was sie verdient.

Ich kann mir ein Leben ohne sie nicht mal mehr eine Sekunde vorstellen und jeden Tag wächst meine Liebe zu ihr !

Sie ist das Beste, was mir jemals passiert ist und ich werde sie niemals aufgeben!

Warum können andere einen nicht einfach in Ruhe lassen ?

Können sie einem das Glück denn nicht einfach mal gönnen ?

Müssen sie immer so eine Scheiße abziehen?

Lasst die Menschen doch einfach glücklich sein,auch wenn es eure Exfreundin ist, wieso müsst ihr versuchen, dass Neue kaputt zu machen?

Es gibt Gründe warum sich Menschen trennen und warum manche Kapitel eben nicht bis zum Happy End reichen.

Ja, es tut weh,aber es geht vorbei,aber lasst dem Anderen doch das Glück...

Hört auf wie ein Baby mit einer Rassel auf den Kopf und das Herz von anderen zu schlagen.

Lasst doch die Menschen einfach leben ...

[knuddel-mama]

Als ich im Krankenhaus war, sah ich das erste mal das Herz meines kleinen Wunders schlagen und ich war wirklich unglaublich verblüfft, denn der Bauchzwerg war doch gerade mal ein paar Wochen alt 😲

Ich konnte es zwar noch immer nicht glauben, dass ich wirklich schwanger bin und Mama werden würde, aber trotzdem bin ich nach den 14 Tagen rumliegen losgezockelt und habe die ersten Babysachen eingekauft. Vielleicht auch, um das ganze ein wenig begreiflich zu machen, sowohl für mich, als auch für den Papa vom Bauchzwerg.

Es ist komisch zu wissen, dass da was ist, aber es nicht zu merken.

Ich hatte keine typischen Schwangerschaftssymptome, bis auf dass ich ca. 14 Stunden am Tag geschlafen habe und in der Zeit wo ich wach war, nur gefuttert habe 😅

Das brachte mir dann auch den Spitznamen "Furby" in der ersten Zeit ein 😂

Allerdings muss ich zugeben, dass ich auch ziemlich starke Schmerzen hatte und habe, als der Bauch gewachsen ist. Denn durch die Operationen ist einiges an Narbengewebe entstanden und wenn es sich so anfühlt, als würde etwas aufreißen, dann tut es das auch wirklich 🙈

Denn das Narbengewebe gibt nicht so einfach nach und manchmal kann man das durchaus auch noch mal, wenn auch nur im Ansatz, mit den Schmerzen von der Endo vergleichen.

Aprobst Endo: Da eine Schwangerschaft ja als "Heilmittel" bei einer Endo angepriesen wird, habe ich natürlich auch die Hoffnung, dass ich nach dem Bauchzwerg nicht mehr mit solchen Beschwerden zu kämpfen habe und endlich mal arbeiten gehen kann 😊

#schwanger #schwangerschaft #schnullerkette #schnuller #rassel #säugling #baby #kinder #endometriose #heilung #gesundheit #arbeit #schwangerschaftssymptome #bauchzwerg #drogeriemarkt #dmdeutschland #babylove

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A post shared by Knuddel (@knuddel_mama)

[einfachschoenbuedingen]

🙋‍♀️ #gutenmorgen ihr #lieben ! Im #Gegensatz zu dem #wetter melden wir uns mal mit schönen #grautönen 😍! Euch einen tollen Tag #einfachschönbüdingen #büdingen #kauflokal #umstandsmode #baby #kinderkram #spieluhr #rassel (hier: Einfachschön) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5XRNyPo39V/?igshid=hldxh358k9k3

[kon-unterwegs]

Tag 5

23 km von Heiligenhafen bis nach Burg auf Fehmarn, das ist kein Pappenstiel. Und über lange Strecken ging es an der viel befahrenen Autostraße lang. Auf Fehmarn dann Horden von Touristen mit Fahrrädern. Da muss ich auf dem Weg ständig Acht geben, dass ich nicht mit denen zusammen rassele.

Also wähle ich morgen mal abweichend von der geplanten Route eine Alternativstrecke, direkt zum Campingplatz. Die geht quer über die Insel und ist auch nur 13 km lang. Also nicht wundern, wenn die Positionsmarken nicht zur geplanten Route passen.

[barbarafuhrer]

Sonntag, 20. April 2019: Dankbarkeit wofür?

Am Freitag eröffnet Peter, dass er noch vergessen habe zu sagen, dass es in Rabai (Wohnort des 2. Mannes (aber hintereinander) von Nelly) eine Hochzeit gäbe. Ich bin alles andere als begeistert, denn ich habe mich schon sehr auf den Ausflug mit Linet, ihrem 5-jährigen Sohn Biden und Claris ans Meer gefreut. Es beginnt eine grosse Debatte über „was man muss“ und „was sich gehört“ und „was es bedeutet, in einer Familie solidarisch zu sein“. Ich bin aber sowieso hässig auf den Mann von Nelly, weil er ihr finanziell kaum hilft, sie aber fast jedes Wochenende diesen langen Weg mit dem Matatu auf sich nimmt, um zu ihm und seinen Kindern zu fahren und sie zu unterstützen. Daher habe ich auch null Lust dort an Festivitäten teilzunehmen, die mich langweilen werden und hinter denen ich gar nicht stehe. Ich habe schon fast gedacht, dass ich die Debatte mit meinem wortstarken Mann verlieren werde aber da kommt mein Killerargument: weisst du, dass ich schon am nächsten Donnerstag retour fliege in die Schweiz (ich habe mich glücklicherweise selber verguckt: ich fliege erst am Freitag...)? Und jetzt will ich mal etwas machen, das nach meinem Gusto ist. Wer sich Facebook schon angeschaut hat weiss, dass ich „gewonnen“ habe, aber ich glaube, ich wäre sogar alleine hingefahen - ich habe hier eine ausgeprägte Geduld aber auch dieser Geduldsfaden kann reissen.

Wir buchen noch Linet‘s Rückreise für den Sonntagabend - wir ergattern online grad noch die letzten 2 Plätze im Bus nach Nairobi. Vom Ausflug verrate ich ihr nur so viel, dass wir ans Meer fahren und selbst ich weiss ja noch nicht, was uns erwarten wird. Aber mein Mann hat jetzt auch eine Kehrtwende gemacht. Ein paar Dinge in Kilifi besorgen, dann Kahindi beauftragen, dass er Fisch und Oktopus braten und die restlichen Einkäufe tätigen soll und die Reise geht los nach Malindi.

Dort haben wir einen persönlichen „Tourguide“ - ein Freund von Peter, der Malindi wie seine Westentasche kennt und als Transferfahren für die grossen Hotels angestellt ist. Wir schauen uns zuerst bei einem Handwerker für Swahili Möbel um. Mir schweben so schöne Tagessofas vor mit ein paar Verzierungen, wie es hier üblich ist. Der Handwerker nimmt ein paar ganz vergilbte Fotos hervor - es ist zum Teil schwierig, darauf überhaupt Möbel zu erkennen aber wir verständigen uns und wir nehmen seine Telefonnummer, damit ich dann mal darauf zurückkommen kann, wenn mein Konto wieder aufgestockt ist.

Peter meint schon, jetzt könnten wir wieder retour nach Kilifi und dort im Meer baden aber jetzt insistiere ich, dass wir jetzt in den Marine Park gehen wenn wir schon mal hier sind. Als wir ankommen merke ich natürlich, warum er solche Ausflüge nicht gerne macht: Er wird sogleich umringt von einer riesigen Horde Menschen, die ihn noch aus seiner Zeit als MP kennen. Sie wollen Geld für dieses und jenes Projekt und sie verstehen kaum, dass er momentan ebenfalls arbeitslos ist und null Geld zum Investieren hat. In der Zwischenzeit begeben wir uns zum Meer und was jetzt folgt ist einfach nur pure Freude: Weil sie alle keine Badeanzüge haben gehen alle bis an die Knie mit den Kleidern ins Wasser und Linet und Biden erholen sich fast nicht mehr vor Freude: sie waren noch gar nie am Meer und es jetzt auf ihrem Körper zu fühlen bringt höchste Glücksgefühle hervor. Sie jauchzen und tanzen und wow und Oh my God werden sekündlich wiederholt. Biden schluckt etwas Wasser und meint: „Why did the add salt to the water?“. Und dann natürlich: can we also go on a boat? On a blue one? Blau ist seine Lieblingsfarbe und so trinkt er aus einer blauen Tasse, heute Morgen ist schon ein Traum in Erfüllung gegangen weil er auf einem blauen Motorbike mitfahren durfte und jetzt soll es das blaue Boot sein. Ich gehe mal auf die Suche nach meinem umringten Mann und er meint, dass er grad dabei sei, einen guten Preis auszuhandeln für ein Boot, das nur für uns ist. Das freut mich jetzt über alle Massen und bald sind wir am reinkraxeln - natürlich in ein blaues Boot! Für Biden muss es ein Traumtag sein.

Seine Mutter weint vor Freude - noch nie im Leben habe sie eine so schöne Zeit gehabt, das werde sie nie vergessen, sie finde nicht einmal mehr Worte um es zu beschreiben. Ihre Freude ist so echt und kommt tief aus dem Herzen und so wird dieser Ausflug auch für mich zu einem grossartigen Erlebnis. Auch wenn ich schon viel krassere Glasbodenbootausflüge mit viel schöneren Booten und viel weniger Touristen gemacht habe: ich bin einfach so dankbar dafür, dass Peter auch gewillt war seine Meinung zu ändern (die Ausrede, dass er unbedingt mehr Zeit mit seiner Frau verbringen will verstehen die Leute hier sogar), dass ich Menschen eine so grosse Freude machen kann erfüllt mich selber mit einem grossen Glücksgefühl. Wir können sogar auf das Dach des Bootes kraxeln und draussen beim Korallenriff steigen alle inkl. Peter ins Wasser und wir plantschen mit einer kindlichen Freude vor uns hin. Sogar Claris zeigt gewisse Gefühlsregungen - teenagermässig halt - da muss man schon immer cool bleiben... aber wir hatten ihr ja am Vortag gesagt, dass wir um 9.00 Uhr abfahren werden und sie stand schon um 7 Uhr auf der Matte um den Ausflug ja nicht zu verpassen und bügelte ihre Kleider - das will schon was bedeuten.

Nachher kommt noch das obligate Fischefüttern mit dem weissen Brot. Biden braucht aber eine Zwischenverpflegung und verspeist das Brot lieber selber. Das erinnert mich an einen Besuch im Bärengraben als ich auch das ganz Futter mit einem Freund geteilt hatte - es war so gut...

Der Tag an der Sonne hat hungrig gemacht und das feine Essen im kleinen Swahili Restaurant ist ein weiterer Höhepunkt. Extrem lecker gekocht vertilgen wir Biriani mit Crevetten, Fisch mit Kokossauce und Reis und natürlich Chips and Poulet für die „Kids“.

Die Fahrt zurück geht schnell vorbei und am Strassenrand können wir die gekochten Sachen abholen - es gibt immer Lösungen in diesem Land auch wenn sie manchmal auf Umwegen erreicht werden.

Den Ostersonntag verbringen wir mit einem zMorge mit frischen Chapatis und Osterguetzli und dann gehen wir in die anglikanische Kirche. Piter erkundigt sich, wann wir kommen sollen und reserviert Plätze für uns. Der Ablauf ist eher streng mit einer ellenlangen Vorstellungsrunde aller Gäste und einem Pfarrer, der wie üblich sehr laut wird (zum Glück ohne Verstärkeranlage). Er sagt aber anscheinend Dinge, die den Leuten gefallen, denn es wird viel gelacht. Das Singen ist wieder mein Lieblingsteil. Die musikalische Begleitung ist eine Rassel und eine Trommel für den Rhythmus. Am Schluss stellen sich draussen alle so auf, dass sie sich die Hände schütteln können und die 2-stündige Zeremonie (und vorher waren es für die Leute ja schon 2) ist vorbei.

Am Abend fahren wir Linet durch den grässlichen Mombasa Verkehr zur Bushaltestelle, die pures Chaos ist. Alle Busse stehen der Strasse entlang. Wie man hier herausfindet, welchen Bus man besteigen soll ist mir ein Rätsel. Wir machen den Abschied kurz, denn er tut weh und doch ist es ein schönes Gefühl zu wissen, dass Linet und ihr Sohn die beste Zeit gehabt haben, die sie sich vorstellen konnten.

Peter hat noch eine Mission: in der Familie wurde ein Baby geboren und es geht um die Namensgebung. Die Familie selber weiss zu wenig aus der Tradition und auch ich muss mich da wieder in die Regeln enführen lassen. In einer Familie erhalten die Kinder nach einer bestimmten Abfolge einen Namen. In der Shehe Familie ist es so: Die Männer müssen in der Reihenfolge der Geburt so getauft werden: Chiwai Daniel, Malingi Peter, Mwajefa Anthony, Nyambu Rogers. Bei den Frauen läuft es so:Mbuche Loice, Kwekwe Nelly, Dzame Mary, wobei das mit Dzame eine Ausnahme war. Man wusste schon, dass die Mutter bald sterben wird und daher wollte sie sich mit dem Namen aus ihrer Familie verewigen. Die besagt Familie im Mombasa wollte jetzt aber das Neugeborene Malingi Emmanuel taufen und mein Piter meint, das gehe gar nicht. Es muss Malingi Peter sein, denn sonst könnte das Kind krank werden oder sogar sterben. Wenn man dann doch noch einen anderen Namen haben möchte, dann muss man den teuer umändern lassen. Wenn sie es nicht begriffen hätten dann würde sich Piter jeglicher Verantwortung (die er als ältester der Familie hat) entziehen - und das möchte hier auch niemand haben.

Aber diesem Treffen ist noch ein abenteuerliches Finden des Hauses vorausgegangen. Die Leute leben in einem eher gefährlichen Viertel. Es ist aber nicht nur gefährlich sondern auch supereng und wir können den Weg nur finden, indem der Typ uns führt und teilweise nur noch wenige Centimeter links und rechts vom Auto übrig sind. Ich stosse wieder an eine Grenze: es ist so beelend zu sehen, wie die Leute hier leben. Ich finde, dass es im Vergleich zu diesem Leben den Leuten in Ganze noch gut geht. Wenigstens haben sie Ruhe und leben mitten in der Natur - auch wenn diese wie im Moment sehr brutal ist und es fast zu wenig Essen zum Überleben hat. Wenn aber noch Abfall und Kriminalität sowie Lärm dazu kommt dann finde ich das Leben noch unerträglicher.

Aber auch in diesem Elend gibt es Freude: das Neugeborene ist so herzig und seine Hautfarbe momentan noch wie meine. Die dunkle Pigmentierung folgt erst später. Der „Grossvater“ Peter ist sichtlich stolz und sagt dem Jungen eine gute Zukunft voraus. Es wird schon ein Fest geplant: nach 40 Tagen wird dem Kind „die Welt gezeigt“, d.h. Es ist quasi eine Einführung ins Leben. Und das zweite Highlight ist, dass die Grossmutter ein Fotoalbum zeigt und ich das erste Mal den strengen Vater von Peter zu sehen bekommen und auch noch seine Mutter sowie andere Verwandte, die ich kenne. Irgendwie haben halt Fotoalben auch ihren ganz besonderen Charme. Piter kann mich wieder mal als Ausrede benutzen damit wir nicht dort essen müssen und somit überlasse ich das Huhn, das grad vor meinen Augen gerupft wurde den anderen und wir fahren nach Marere retour - es fühlt sich an, wie Nachhause kommen und ich bin dankbar, dass Piter nicht aus der Stadt kommt. Marere hat Lebensqualität und wenn es dann endlich mal regnet dann wird es wieder so richtig toll hier.

Ich mache mit der Hilfe von Pinterest schon Pläne für meinen „Gartensitzplatz“, für die Blumen, die ich pflanzen werde und vielleicht auch für mein Schreib- und Meditationszimmer, in dem ich meine Kreativität ausleben kann. So langsam aber sicher kann ich es mir plastisch vorstellen. Die App für die Planung ist schon heruntergeladen. Heute hat jemand etwas auf FB gepostet, das ich gleich teilen musste, denn es passt so gut zu den Situationen, die ich hier antreffe. Und der letzte Satz ist so wahr: wir haben so viel, wofür wir dankbar sein können und es auch sein sollen.

[bubba-augen]

14. Feb

Mein Barista mit Dachcafe ist morgens schon auf:

Das sind eigentlich die Wohnräumen von Lenen und Andrea (Mati Grunder), aber ich darf hier wohnen während sie weg sind. Ich habe bei meiner Ankunft eine Durchlaufer-Wasserheizung im Bad gesehen und mich sehr auf eine heisse Dusche gefreuet - bis ich das kleine „Do not use“ Schild entdeckt habe.

Mati (und Caritas Schweiz) unterstutzen 11 Day Care Centers für Kinder von low-income working mothers. Ich will einige besuchen und Augenscreening machen. Gestern war ich in 2 davon (alle Augen gesund!):

Es wird alles, aber alles, aus recycled Material hergestellt: Rasseln aus Plastikflaschen und Kichererbsen, Zahlentafeln aus Pappe und Plasticdeckel, Bälle aus zusammengeknäultes Papier, Behälter aus abgeschnitten grossen Wasserflaschen, überzogen mit Glitzerpapier, bunte Schiffchen aus getrockneten grossen Samenschalen.

Die Kleinkinder kommen um 8h, bekommen erstmal Frühstück dann wird nach einer ‚Schweizer-Methode‘ gespielt, gebastelt, gemalt und gesungen.

Zum Mittag wird ein grosses Wachstuch auf dem Boden aufgebreitet und die Kinder aufgereiht, um Hände zu waschen. Dann setzen sie alle und das Essen (Reis mit Eier-Curry, sehr lecker!) wird reiheherum gereicht.

Die Kleinste liess ihr Reis mit Sauce von der Erzieherin durchmischen, dann sass gedankenverloren da und müsste dann noch etwas gefuttett werden. Danach haben sie alle ihre Teller und Tassen in die Küche gebracht und ab ging‘s zum Schlafen - wie kleine Hunde, alle auf dem Boden - und weg waren sie für 2 Stunden! Wachstuch abgewischt, zusammengefaltet, den Boden gefegt und abgewischt, fertig für die Nachmittagsbetreuung: 3 Schulkinder, die Schreiben, Malen, Mathe usw geübt haben.

Nach 2 Stunden würde es im Nebenzimmer langsam lebendig und die Kleinen wurden peu a peu wieder wach. Ein Kreis-Spiel mit Rassel, dann wieder das Wachstuch auf dem Boden, kleine Kuchenteller mit Gabel (!!!!??) verteilt, Hände gewaschen und dann gab’s Nudeln - mit Gabel.... jetzt wo ich mich langsam auf das mit-den-Händen essen angewöhnt habe. Die Kinder haben alles weggesteckt und damit war die Betreuungs-tag für sie zur Ende. Als wir gehen wollten, baten die Erzieherinnen auch um eine Augen-Kontrolle:

Ich bin von den Einrichtungen richtig beeindrückt und gerührt - auch ich als ‚reiche’ arbeitende Mutter wäre froh gewesen zu wissen, dass meine Kinder so gut und liebevoll untergebracht wären.

[morphlingunderscore]

balter + ras & herbert also

balter - to dance gracelessly, but with enjoyment

"Okay little buddy, you gotta gimme a bit!" Rassel laughs, holding the radio tightly to their chest so they don't send it flying on the off-chance Herbert actually knocks them over, jumping around like that. They do a crabwalk sorta shuffle over to the couch, fending little hooves simply DESPERATE to play with the funny dials off the whole while.

When the set it down on the coffee table, Herbert (predictably) lunges for it, squealing his indignation when they catch him by his armpits and swing him with the momentum, wiggling little legs kicking in the air. After the initial squirm of let me down wretched demon, I have to make music happen!!, he goes limp with a huff, dangling like a sad sack of flour.

"You gotta be patient," they hum, dropping onto the couch with a grunt and setting him on their thigh. He squirms to get comfortable, but he doesn't jump for it this time- probably because they have one arm around his waist like a warning seatbelt. "I'm gonna show you how this works, and then I'll let you pick the tunes. If you find something that'll really annoy your dads when they get back, I'll let you eat a bunch of shadowberries after lunch, okay?"

At the mention of potential sweets reward, Herbert goes still. Cautiously, Rassel unwraps him, nodding proudly when he doesn't go hogwild again.

It takes the better half of an hour for their lesson on how to use the radio to stick. Turns out it's kinda hard to teach someone about this kinda thing when they barely get how it works, and the kid you're trying to teach can't speak(yet? unclear), and also dials are actually kinda hard to operate with overgrown claws and little clumsy hooves.

After making a game out of extending and shrinking the antenna over and over again and babbling and giggling like it's the funniest thing in the world, Hebert finally tries messing with the tune dial on his own, skittering across local and trans-dimensional stations. He's got the most adorable look of concentration on his face, snout scrunched up and tongue sticking out past his schnoz. He's Mission Impossible-ing it, listening with an ear cocked every few seconds before snorting derisively and moving on.

Rassel's distracted fiddling with their comms-- talking in the group chat they know 10 and Broderick always forget exists about how smart the little guy is-- when the station-surfing halts. Their ears twitch and flare, unmuffling the noise to really listen, and--

Their mouth splits into a wide grin.

Polka. Somehow, out of gods knows how many radio stations, Herbert landed on Polka.

Herbert turns, craning his head up to look at their face with big wet eyes, buzzing with anticipation. Waiting to see what they think.

"Herbert," Rassel says seriously, grin widening beyond what most people are comfortable with. Herbert just starts vibrating harder, little hooves click-clacking together to vent some buzzing energy. "You are a genius."

It's up in the air if he knows what that word means, but it's clear tone alone gets across their approval.

Herbert hooks his little feet on their shin-sheath and uses it to jump on their lap, grabbing their ears and flapping them with his hands and squealing, startling a bark of laughter out of Rassel.

"Yeah, yeah, you did it big man!" They cheer, scooping him up and spinning in a circle. Herbert splays his arms wide so their ears catch the breeze, still babbling happily. "You're so cool! This is cool kid music, how did you know? You're a natural!"

Herbert's excitement is terribly, unavoidably contagious, loosening a stiffness Rassel hadn't even noticed in themselves. It leaves them bubbly and bright, so when a familiar song comes on, they immediately start dancing to it, movements clumsy and uncoordinated. Hell, they barely remember the dance they're trying to do, or the name of the damn song!

It hardly matters, though. Not when Herbert squeals and skitters in front of them, mimicking their "dance moves" like it's a test and he's going to pass. He's so into it, focused on his own limbs so he doesn't trip over himself. It's the cutest thing Rassel has ever seen. Their heart melts.

When Broderick and 10 come home, it's to a dark house. With a flick of the lights, the reason is revealed--

Rassel lays belly-up on the floor, herbert flopped over their chest. Both of them are snoring. Both of them have dark berry juice stains around their mouth.

And quietly, so quietly it takes walking up to them to notice...

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Broderick laughs, muffling the sound behind a hand. "Partied out to the chicken dance?"

[friedmanngedichteblog]

Regentanz

Die schwüle Luft ist durchsiebt, die Temperatur abgekühlt. Die heißen Tage waren wunderschön. Ein anfänglicher Sommer, wie er sprichwörtlich im Buche steht. Die Hände in die Höhe, den Kopf weit in den Himmel gestreckt. Die Regentropfen prasseln auf die Stirn, beginne zu tanzen und genieße die frische Luft. Alles ist wieder frisch, nehme einen tiefen Atemzug und freue mich über diesen Regentag. Ein Tanz im Regen, wie wunderbar, nach so langen, heißen Tagen ist diese Abkühlung auch an der Zeit. Genieße in vollen Zügen, begeistert und fröhlich und das, obwohl die Sonne heute verborgen bleibt. Wolkenschleier machen ein trübes Bild am Himmel, alles ist verdeckt. Als schwämme eine dicke Suppe über den Gestirnen der Menschen, die darunter stehen. Dennoch ist das Lachen in den Gesichtern nicht zu verstecken, die vergangenen sonnigen Tage sind gespeichert und zeigen sich nach außen hin. Doch die Aussichten für die kommen Tage sind schön. Der Regentanz hat nur heute sein Festival, ab morgen ist es wieder schön. Passend zum Wochenende gehen wir wieder in den Straßen und Gassen. Liegen auf den Terrassen oder sitzen im Eiscafé. Liegen am Strand oder Baggersee und genießen wieder die lauen Sommertage und Nächte. An denen weit und breit keine Schleier zu sehen sind. Doch heute wird im Regen getanzt, die Rassel ausgepackt und herzlich gelacht über den Regentag. Stampfe fest mit den Füßen auf der Straße und genießen das Manifest der sommerlichen Erfrischung. Alles wird gewaschen und benetzt. Die Pflanzen getränkt und wieder starkgemacht für die heißen Sommertage und Nächte, die bevorstehen. Noch ein tiefer Atemzug der frischen Luft. Gestärkt für den Tag und mit klarem Verstand in den Tag. Ich freue mich drauf, zu sagen, ade lieber Regentanz, heute ist wieder ein Sommertag. Read the full article

[wilfriedbergerblog]

20-180-01 #BauFachForum:#Baulexikon #Wilfried #Berger: #Lehrstellenbörse, #Lehrlingsbörse: #Begriffe, #Karneval, #Fastnacht, #Fassenacht, #Fasnacht, #Fasnet, #Fasching, #Fastabend, #Fastelovend, #Fasteleer, #fünfte #Jahreszeit, #Bräuche, #Zeit #vor, #vierzigtägige #Fastenzeit, #Beginn #Fastenzeit, #Aschermittwoch, #Vorbereitung #auf #das #Osterfest. 

BauFachForum,  Baulexikon Wilfried Berger: Für euch immer an vorderster Stelle. 

Guten Tag, sehr geehrte Kolleginnen und Kollegen,aus unserer Rubrik der Baulexikonbegriffe, haben wir euch ein neuer Begriff über Fasching im Schwaben Land und Baden Land gefertigt.  

Thema heute:  Faschingsauftakt bei REWE, Kalle Eberhardt Pfullendorf. Karneval und Verkleidung: Karneval, regionale Bräuche, regionale Abhandlung, regionale Musik, Karnevalsumzüge, Musik, Masken, Verkleiden, Markanter Fasching, Karneval in Lateinamerika, Karneval von Oruro, Karneval in Rio, Karneval in Venedig, Karneval von Québec, Kanada.   Karneval weltweit:Mittfasten Karneval, Sonntag an Laetare, Stavelot, belgische Ostkantone, Spanien, Karneval von Santa Cruzde, Tenerife, Karneval in Cádiz, Südstaaten Vereinigte Staaten, ausgeprägte Karnevalstradition, New Orleans, französische Bezeichnung, Mardi Gras, Fetter Dienstag, Fastnachtsdienstag. 

Viel Spaß beim Video!!!!! https://youtu.be/aT0D8ltM6H0  

Gruß aus Pfullendorf Euer Bauschadensanalytiker Wilfried Berger 

Spannende Links zum Thema: Verpasst kein spannendes Video mehr vom BauFachForum!!!!Werdet einfach Follower!!!!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxxCmGe1m-MOKV2vJexIpnw?view_as=subscriber    Link zur Lehrlingsbörse im BauFachForum: https://www.baufachforum.de/index.php?rub_id=94#id_1652 Suchbegriffe:#BauFachForum, #Baulexikon #Wilfried #Berger:#Fasching #weltweit:#Begriffe, #Karneval, #Fastnacht, #Fassenacht, #Fasnacht, #Fasnet, #Fasching, #Fastabend, #Fastelovend, #Fasteleer, #fünfte #Jahreszeit, #Bräuche, #Zeit #vor, #vierzigtägige #Fastenzeit, #Beginn #Fastenzeit, #Aschermittwoch, #Vorbereitung #auf #das #Osterfest. #Karneval #und #Verkleidung:#Karneval, #regionale #Bräuche, #regionale #Abhandlung, #regionale #Musik, #Karnevalsumzüge, #Musik, #Masken, #Verkleiden, #Markanter #Fasching, #Karneval #in #Lateinamerika, #Karneval #von #Oruro, #Karneval #in #Rio, #Karneval #in #Venedig, #Karneval #von #Québec, #Kanada.  #Karneval #weltweit:#Mittfasten #Karneval, #Sonntag #an #Laetare, 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#Rituale:#Verkleidung #in #unheimliche #Gestalten, #vermutet #aus #der #Natur, #Lärm #mit #Holzstöcken, #Rassel, #Ratsche, #Schnarre, #Vertreibung #der #Geister, #durch #Lärm, #Fasnachtsbräuche #in #Tirol, #Südtirol, #Symbol, #Kampfgeschrei #für #Gegensätze, #Licht #und #Finsternis, #Gut #und #Böse, #Frühling #und #Winter, #Egetmannumzug #Tramin, #Mullerlaufen #in #Thaur. #Nationalsozialismus #und #Fasching:#Germanische #Theorien, #Kontinuitätsprämisse, #Hochkonjunktur, #im #Nationalsozialismus, #Skepsis, #Überlieferung, #germanischen #Brauchtums, #keltischen #Brauchtums, #fixiert #1945, #Vermutung, #kein #Brauchtum, #über #mehrere #Jahrhunderte, #keine #Feste, #ähnlich #Fastnacht, #Entstehung #Fasnacht, #im #hohen #und #späten #Mittelalter. #Fassnacht #im #Mittelalter, #Europa:#Überlieferungen, #Nürnberger #Schembartläufer #1472, #Straßenkarneval #1932, #Straßenkarneval #in #den #Niederlanden, #Fasching #von #Međimurje, #Nordkroatien #2011, #mittelalterliches #Europa, #12 #Jahrhundert, #bis #16 #Jahrhunderts, #Überlieferte #Narrenfeste, #Feier #zum #Epiphaniastag, #6 #Januar.  #Fassnacht, #Karneval, #und #Kirche:#Feste #auch #in #Kirchen #überliefert, #keine #Kirchenfeste, #Übernahme, #der #niederen #Kleriker, #Rang #und #Privilegien, #der #hohen #Geistlichkeit, #Kirchliche #Rituale, #wurden ##veralbert, parodiert, #Papst #wurde #gekürt, #28 #Dezember, #Tag #der #unschuldigen #Kinder, #ein #Kinderbischof #wurde #gewählt, #Prozessionen, #Narrenmessen, #Eselsmessen. #Älteste #Überlieferungen, #Fasching #Karneval: #Älteste #bekannte #Erwähnung, #fasnaht, #Jahr #1206, #Teil #des #Parzival, #Minnesänger, #Wolfram #von #Eschenbach, #Überlieferung, #die #koufwip #zu #Tolenstein, #an #der #fasnaht, #nie #baz #gestriten, #blumige #Worte, #Frauen #Fasnacht, #Burg #der #Grafen, #von #Hirschberg #Dollnstein. #Groteske #Spiele, #rund #um #die #Burg:#Hirschberg #Dollnstein, #Donnerstag #vor #Aschermittwoch, #groteske #Spiele, #Tänze, #Verkleidungen, #kleine #Marktgemeinde, #Dollnstein #im #Altmühltal, #Bayern, #Gemeinde #beansprucht, #Wiege #des #deutschen #Karnevals, #im #Allgemeinen, #speziell #der #Weiberfastnacht.  Überlieferung der Fasnacht, Speyer Chronik:Frühe Erwähnung, Fastnacht, Christoph Lehmann, Speyerer Chronik, Jahr 1612, Jahr 1296, Unwesen der Fastnacht, Spott, Clerisey Gesind, Bischofs und Domkapitels, die  Kleriker, Dompropst, Verlangen, Herausgabe geistliche Gesinde, zur Bestrafung.  #Überlieferung, #Eidbuch #Stadt #Köln: #05 #März #1341, #Erwähnung, #Begriff #Fastelovend, #Eintrag #im #Eidbuch, #Stadt #Köln, #Keine #Bewilligung, #von #Gelder #für #Fastelvend, #Zuschusszahlung #an #die #Richerzeche, #später #Begriff #Patrizier, #keine #Städtische #Zuschüsse, #für #Fasnacht, #26 #Oktober #1353, #Wein #und #Bierverbot, #Erzbischof #Wilhelm #von #Gennep, #Juni #1369, #Aufhebung #des #Verbotes. #Beginn #der #Kölner #Fasnacht, #Kölner #Karneval:##Verbot 01 #Juli #1412, #Kölner #Rats, #öffentliche #Fasnacht, #Spiele, #Tänze, #Fassnacht #ging #in #Untergrund,  #geheime #Orte, #Zunfthäuser, #1422 #Erwähnung, #des #Kölner #Bauern, #Schildhalter #des #Reichs, #in #seinem #Gedicht, #1425 #erscheint #der #Bauer, #erstmals #im #Rosenmontagszug, #1440 #öffentliches #Fastnachtstreibens. #Verbot, #der #Kölner #Fasnacht:#1487 #Kölner #Stadtrat #verbot, #Mummenschanz #Verbot, #Vermomben, #Verstuppen, #Vermachen, #im 17 #Jahrhundert #mehrfach, #die #Mummerey, #Heidnische #Tobung, #Ersterwähnung #der #Jungfrau, #neben #dem #Bauern, #Verkörperung, #Stadtgründerin #Agrippina, #freie #unabhängige #Stadt. #Mittelalterliche #Fasnacht:#Mittelalterliche #Fastnacht, #Überlieferung, #augustinischen #Lehren #in, #Werk #De #civitate #Die, #Fastnacht #Symbol, #civitas #diaboli, #Staat #des #Teufels, #ausartende #Fastnacht, #Duldung #der #Kirche, #symbolisch #für #Veränderbar, #civitas #diaboli,  #Teufel, #auch #der #Mensch, #Sieg #von #Gott. #Kirchliche #Auflage:#Gott #siegt #gegen #die #Teufel, #gegen #den #Fasching, #Ende #vom #Fasching, #Aschermittwoch, #Symbolisierung, #die #unausweichliche #Umkehr, #zu #Gott #und #der #Kirche, #Kompromiss, #Untätigkeit #der #Kirche, #an #Fasching, #Duldung #gotteslästernden #Szenen, #während #der #Fastnacht, #24 #Uhr #Nachts, #keine #Faschingsfeiern #mehr.

[animefreak1145]

Drunk Ramblings(Adler x Bell!Reader) (Oneshot)

Word Count: 2.4k

Description: You’re drunk.

The year is 1983. After Solovetsky you worked for MI6 for a year before moving back with the CIA with some helpful connections and been there for almost a year now.

Warnings/Tags: Established!Adler/Bell, Soft Angst, Past Brainwashing, Fluff

My love- моя любовь(moya lyubov)

Handsome—красивый (krasivyy)

Beautiful—красивая (krasivaya)

Russell—Рассел (Rassel)

My- мой Рассел (moy)

Adler did not think he would have a trying day today, with working on these files constantly for the past few weeks to catch Perseus, he was hoping for a small reprieve. At least away from the affect of that man and to the free world and taking up all his time and mind. Only once he finally gets home, locking the door behind him and calling out for you does he find you groaning and singing a nonsensical song about puzzles in Russian on the couch, all limbs everywhere and head nodding offbeat to your song and smelling like how he imagines Russians always smell when they’re not being intent on destroying the free world.

He sighed with lips quirked, walking up to you.

“What happened to you while I was out?” He noticed a note on the coffee table, seeing it was signed by Park that they had an outing and Bell went a little overboard with her and Rivas since it’s been some time they met up with one another. He chuckled, amused before dropping the note and squatting by your form with your eyes closed and hands moving like a conductor, his lips forming an affectionate smirk. “Come on, Bell. Let’s get to bed.”You blinked, blearily before tipping your head exaggeratedly towards him and squinting.

“Mmmm. . . ‘m not tired. You go,” you waved your hand at him in a shooing motion sloppily before it falling back to your stomach like dead weight. “дерьмо,” you cursed in Russian, the der’mo in a slur. “Heavy arm.”

You did go overboard today. You usually could handle the liquor.

“Come on,” he said encouragingly. “The bed would be more comfortable. I can count on it.”

“Mmmm. . .” You nodded. “Okayyyy.” You sat up, a little shakily. Adler moved to grab you to take you to the bed instead but you moved his hand away and shaking your head, muttering that you got this as you stood up with a slight wobble before moving to the stairs. Him behind you to make sure you don’t fall and ready to catch if needed.

Once they reached the bedroom they’ve been sharing the past year since you came back from your time in MI6. A wise decision in the end. You needed to keep your distance just like he had to. And not just from the CIA either.

“It was never personal.”

This is not the fucking day to think about this right now, Adler took off his jacket and began changing to sleep wear as you went inside their bathroom. Perhaps doing it a little roughly as he took off his shades, glaring at them before pinching the bridge of his nose and placing the glasses on the nightstand. He looked over to the bathroom and headed downstairs quickly. Can’t have Bell wake up too bad. Although it seems we both might be fucked up.

He came back with a glass of water and aspirin with some crackers, seeing you were still in the bathroom and placed the items on your side of the bed atop the table.

You were probably having trouble due to your state, Adler realized as he slightly mussed his hair before moving to stand up to knock only for you open the door, your own nightwear on being a white slip. When you still didn’t move from the door and only seemed to stare at him in bewilderment at his half naked form, he moved to lay down with an inviting smirk as he patted the empty space next to him.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, sweetheart. Let’s go. I promise I’ll stay with you tomorrow to help you recover from the shitty hangover you’ll have. Sorry I couldn’t come sooner today, you know how it is.” When you still didn’t move and just furrowed your brows at the nickname of sweetheart, he decided to change tactics as he sat against the headboard. “I can call ahead tomorrow to have the next two days off if you want and not just tomorrow. Go see that movie that came out—what was it? Star Trek? Star Battle? Whichever one. I can use a break myself from all this.”

You raised your hands, motioning them back and forth in denial as you frowned.

“You’re handsome and all but no thanks.”

Adler blinked, slowly. Assessing. Came up blank.

“What?”

You moved to the foot of the bed, looking at the ground with a focus you have only for decryption as you answered.

“ ’m doin’ those thiiiings with the most handsomesssst man on the planet. моя любовь,” moy lyubov you said lovingly in a sigh.

You are completely out of it, Adler observed, his smirk forming into an amused fond smile as he leaned his head against his hand as he laid back on the bed and watched you gather extra blankets and placing them on the floor.

“Alright,” he said, he’s sure if you were sober you would hear his smug tone and call him out on it but you only did a distracted noise as you bunched blankets and towels down there. “I’ll bite. What makes him so better than what you have right here?”

It was as if a light was switched, you perking up with arms filled with blankets as you bunched them to your chest, eyes bright.

“Where to start?” You asked yourself, a smile on your face that made his eyes soften looking at you but his smug amusement did not fade. Your words continued to slur or you having to start back up again as you spoke. “His hair. It bounces like a мяч in the play place—play ground. Up and down when he nods or just—moves his head a kind of way. Like having it’s own разум. It’s so soft when I touch it—like wheat or melted snow because he’s slowly getting gray hair. I don’t tell him that.”

He’s not dyeing his hair. But the fact you don’t seem to mind the physical affect of his age made his chest warm as you kept going, putting a hand to your cheek.

“And his eyes. His blue, deep, strong eyes.” You practically squealed, hiding your face with the blanket and giggling as he chuckled with you at your innocent excitement. You peeked your eyes from under the blanket, your voice slightly muffled due to the blanket. “красивая. The most beautiful one’s I’ve ever seen. I could drown in those eyes and I would be okay with it when I first saw them, they’re so красивая—beautiful. Pretty. He always wears these ah—eh—the word. очки? оттенки? No—um, oh! Sunglasses!”

Your eyes lit in realization, moving to sit on the chest in front of the bed as you went on with adoration in your eyes that Adler doesn’t know whether to warm at or get uncomfortable just how much there was in your eyes for a man like him. After what he did. His eyes took a far off look as you stared down at the blankets on your lap.

“He covered them a lot. I always. . . wanted to see. He did it for a reason. So I couldn’t see. Even though I think he knew I wanted to.” You sighed, your lips than turning sad and Adler is getting a growing suspicion of why you drank so much today. “It took some время, but I saw them. But that’s not all—“

“You don’t gotta keep going, kid.” There it was. Guilt. “Come here. I’ll call tomorrow. I’ve been away from you too—“

You just went on like he didn’t even speak.

“мой Рассел.” You said in a breath, the Russian way you spoke his name always making him stop whatever he was doing and look at you. This was no different as he moved to sit up on the bed. “He’s—he’s a good man. He doesn’t think so, моя любовь.” Even the way you said “my love” kept his attention as you went on softy. “He does a lot. Makes me—has me—makes sure I’m safe. And I feel safe with him. Despite. . .” You stopped, frowning as you stared down at the blankets. Adler stayed where he was, rooted to the spot. He’s not sure he’s even breathing. “The world. It takes a lot from him. The world needs to be safe too. But he. . . he balances a lot. His work. Me. His work and me at once. Everyone always takes from him but when can he—he needs breaks too. I—“

You stopped, blinking as you looked around once more with watery eyes compared to before. Quickly standing up it almost made you fall over as you darted your eyes everywhere and having him sit in attention.

“Bell? What’s—“

“мой Рассел!” You said loudly, eyes meeting his. Filled with water yet determination and love he doesn’t deserve after everything but you give freely because they’re both insane apparently. “He needs me. I need to find him. It’s late and he’ll be worried and he’ll be alone again and I’ll be alone without him again and I—“

He stood up, walked up to you and tugged to him in one fell swoop. Wrapping his arms around your shaking desperate form as he shushed you quietly. His skin was gathering wetness but he doesn’t care, but you seem to as you shook your head and pushed him away and telling him you can’t cause you have Russell and he’ll be sad and you love him too much for him to be sad.

He pulled back a tad, grabbing your hand on his bare chest before going to the scar on his shoulder with a wry smirk he didn’t quite feel. Your fingers on the slightly concave part of his skin in a shape of a hole.

“It’s me, kid.”

You crinkled your brows, staring at the scar as you touched it gently. Softly. Pressing and grazing and your touch bringing chills to his spine but he did not move as he stared down at you.

You moved your reddened eyes towards his, connecting as your eyes widened. Relief.

“Russell!” You darted forward, wrapping your arms around him as you nuzzled him. Him taking a slight step back due to how strong you moved forward, but wrapping his arms around you just as strongly. Bringing you as close as possible as he put his chin to your head. You kept nuzzling him as if you could breathe and he could feel your smile despite having his chest hair in your face. “I missed you.”

He moved to put his mouth to your neck, giving it a soft kiss before taking in your scent.

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”

You pulled back a bit, putting a hand to his scarred cheek as you thumbed it lovingly as you stared at him the same way. He did not think such a look would make himself soften yet get a pang within.

You frowned for a split second at his subtly stricken eyes before giving him a comforting peck to his lips.

“What’s wrong?” You questioned.

Adler’s lips formed into a sarcastic smile.

“Just that you’re too good for me.”

“No,” you say, smiling softly at him as you rugged him to bed like he wasn’t trying to do the same to you earlier. “I think we’re in the same place in terms of good.”

Adler chuckled, you not letting go of his hand as you went to your side and he went to his before you placed your head on his shoulder and nuzzled once more, humming in content. You moved a hand to his shoulder with the bullet wound scar just as he had a hand of yours in your left shoulder.

“Glad you recognize me and it took the matching shitty scars we gave each other.”

You made a noise in the back of your throat, distracted.

“I’ll never not know it’s you, моя любовь.”

Adler laughed at that, making him shake and you pout as he did it before he quieted and pulled you to be on top as you squealed. You giggling happily and adoringly as you had your chin on his chest and had your shining eyes on him. Only him. Always him.

He leaned up to kiss you, you opening easily for him as he tasted you slowly. Reverently. The kiss saying everything he wishes to say but the words always stuck in his throat. You always knew though, as you put a hand to the hair you love so much and weaved your fingers through it.

He pulled away, gazing up at you as he rubbed your back in an up and down motion. You closing your eyes with a sigh as you laid your cheek against him to get comfortable, your body relaxed on top of him.

“We’re going to see a movie tomorrow.” You made a noise to show you were listening as he brought his lips to your head, grazing it as he spoke and giving it a peck. “After you recover though. Promise me you won’t drink like this again, Bell. I’ll see what I can do to not be away from you long.”

You lifted your head groggily, blinking slowly in confusion.

“I didn’t. . . didn’t drink because you’re always working. That’s stupid.”

Perhaps he was wrong than. It still doesn’t add up though. At his questioning look, you moved your eyes to the side and away. Before looking back at him and putting a hand to his scarred cheek.

“Don’t be sad.” You say and Adler already expects the worst. Was it the nightmares he gave you? It was hard at first to calm you when they decided to move in together, but you eventually always did if he shushed you and grabbed you to go on top of him. The irony not lost on him that only he could make you feel safe again. “I. . . the voices were loud today.”

It didn’t take long for Adler to connect it. The affects of MK-Ultra still affecting you, some days harsher than others. Today must’ve been bad if you got this far.

You kissed him before he could ask, a press of the lips to calm and to soothe. Of forgiveness and devotion.

You pulled away and you pressed your forehead against his.

“I’m okay now. I have мой красивый Рассел with me.”

Adler doesn’t think you will ever be okay. But he won’t ever be either. An insane couple meant for each other. So he just smirked up at you as he cocked a brow at you, hand behind his head.

“The handsomest?”

You huffed and kissed him instead in answer. And he met you. He’ll always meet you.

He’ll do whatever it takes for that.

.

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I can write fluff too. Don't worry! But some sadness is the standard with these two.

I have other works in my plans besides finishing For Whom the Bell Tolls, just be patient with that. Hope you guys enjoy!

Sorry if Adler was a little off here, did my best with his POV.

@smokeywhalee @tr1ppylady @weirdoartist21 @dvesinthewind @dallmaistir @parkeepingparker @nikkibell1937@nocturnalblurbee