#ranger isn’t big enough that I can’t physically control him but

[unintentional-sad-wizard]

Augh. Ranger seems to be developing some reactivity towards people and I’m stressed about managing that. Time to do research.

[erintoknow]

everything and nothing

Spiraling - A Fallen Hero: Rebirth Fan-fiction

Funding a one-woman revenge mission isn’t cheap. You might work for free but Rosie doesn’t. Or Mortum. Or Marcie. The list goes on. [Feed Me Diamonds]

[Read on AO3]

It was the incident at Joes that gave you the initial idea: you need money to fund your operation. And where is flush with – conveniently untraceable – funds, but Los Diablos’s criminal underground?

Using Jane’s luck to gamble your way through the casino circuit would be suicide. She’d end up in a ditch or worse. But you don’t need to. You’ve got a state-of-the-art power armor suit.

In a way, it’s a return to the old days, to being Sidestep. You could never manage to hold down a job back then, but the guilt over skimming kept you from being able to afford much of anything. So, you know, occasionally when busting a villain’s lair or rounding up drug dealers, maybe some of their funds were… misplaced. It was either that or starve.

Or worse, admit your situation to somebody and ask for help.

But it wasn’t really stealing, was it? The money was probably wrongfully gotten to begin with. And it’s not like the city paid vigilantes.

Whatever. You were stealing the whole time. You can admit it to yourself now. It doesn’t matter who it was from. It was still theft. You’ve always been a liar and a fraud. Those last moments before throwing yourself out a fourth-story window crystalized it for you. People lauding Sidestep as some sort of ‘hero’ when she was barely any better than the people she beat up. She just stuck to the government approved list of acceptable targets.

But if you did it before, you can do it again. You know who the real villains are, and it’s not Larry Ray selling weed at the corner of Market Street.

Once more now, with feeling.

Check the seal on your helmet. The Rat-King curls around you. Paul Howard Koch’s penthouse is in the heart of the city. Technically not inside the bounds of Los Diablos proper itself. More a richie-rich enclave. Great view, above the air pollution, slightly less likely to die in a horrific one-two earthquake/tsunami punch.

To his neighbors on the floors above and below, Mr. Koch is a reclusive retired businessman who made his fortune in the early days of the chaos following the establishment of the Free Economic Zone over southern California. Back when anything really did fly.

And maybe there’s a truth in that.

Or maybe he’s just a self-hyped boost with magnetic powers with the audacity to hide in plain sight who robbed a bunch of banks and also maybe the Rangers HQ one time and okay okay fine, maybe there’s an element of revenge to tonight, so what?

Start with the small ones.

Work your way up.

Getting inside is easy enough. It reminds you of Marconi’s mansion that way. Amazing how much security is just theatre. Wall? Climb over. Guards? Walk between the patrols. CCTV? Oh, what a shame, the woman watching fell asleep at her desk, and oh, the whole system needs to be rebooted now? Technology these days, tsk tsk.

The building doesn’t even have dampeners.

Closing the door to the camera room, you let your hand linger on the doorknob. It takes some finesse to control the Nanovores this tightly but you’re able to collapse the mechanism. They’ll have to break the door down.

You’ve got two targets today. Koch, and his fortune. You know where Koch is. He’s up in his bedroom, half-asleep watching TV. Play the right notes, and he’ll stay that way until you need him.

So, then, where’s the goods?

It’s been, what, a decade since Pennybags was active. Had a big spree robbing banks, culminating in an attack on Rangers HQ. You were – Sidestep was still pretty new to the scene, but even she knew it took some guts to pants the Rangers like that. And then he was never heard from again.

Almost have to admire the restraint of the man. To realize he peaked and it was time to get out. Can’t say it’s an example you intend to follow.

The penthouse is a split-level deal. Whole lot of empty space for a man who lives alone. The second floor and you find his office. Very fancy looking computer. And of course, there’s the password in the middle drawer. Man’s gotten lax. You plug in a USB stick as you log in. Search through the files. Records, transactions. Looks like Mr. Koch has been busy in his ‘retirement.’ Blackmail material? Not the pile of cash you were aiming for but it’s something to start with. Another crack in the city’s shell. Another point of attack.

One file name catches your attention: Regenerator sale? It’s been awhile since you’ve gotten a lead on that name, and here it is. Just waiting for you. Opening the file and it’s a text document. At first glance there doesn’t seem to be much you don’t already know. PharmaCore, shut down by the government, confiscated, then ‘vanished.’ Oh, here’s something new: an actual description of what it does…

Ugh. There’s no time to stand here and parse all this. You copy everything that looks even remotely promising and move on to the rest of the room.

An oddly spaced bookshelf, by the window, draws your attention. Push the texts away and there’s a safe. Have to smile at that. At least it’s not behind a portrait. The metal melts into dust under the Nanovores and you’re free to reach inside. A gun, some rolled up hundred dollar bills and a collection of black unmarked USB looking bits of plastic and silicon.

Jackpot.

DS Chips. Or ‘Dark Script’ if you want to be wordy. Criminal computer scientists are disappointingly lacking in imagination. Physical bills can be traced by serial number, and digital transactions through bank and credit systems. Cryptocurrencies like these DS chips are the current fashion du jour for avoiding surveillance.

The exchanges aren’t cheap, and Hollow Ground keeps a tight grip on Los Diablos’s little corner. But attach a ‘wallet’ to a specific chip and you carry thousands of dollars in a little box of plastic and silicone smaller than your palm.

That’s business sorted then.

Time for the pleasure half.

When you reach the bedroom, you don’t need to kick the door in. The hinges disintegrate into dust and it falls over, all on it’s own. The crash against the floor breaks Koch out of his stupor. With a cry of alarm he scrambles to his feet, tripping on his own night robe.

“Evening, Pennybags.”

“Who the blazes let you in here?” His heart is pounding. Scenarios running through his mind. Scrambling for an answer. Really? You’d have expected someone a little more paranoid.

You fold your hands behind your back. Nod towards the door. “I did.”

He narrows his eyes, not seeing the humor. Oh well, his loss.

You’re on him before he can even finish his thought about using his power on you. Is enough of the suit metal for it to be a problem? You’re not sure and you’d rather not find out. His head cracks against the wall as you shove him up off the ground with an arm against his neck.

You tap your head. “Don’t even think about it.”

He doesn’t stop struggling. Bare feet kicking against your armor. Up close he doesn’t look as old as you pictured. Bald, sure. But… how old is he? Maybe he just has one of those faces. “You’re–” He wheezes, “you’re going to regret this.”

He’s already plotting your death. Cute. Have to laugh. “I’ll add it to the list.”

...now what are you going to do?

Maybe you should have thought of that before barging in here.

You press against his neck a little harder. Not enough to choke him, but to give you some room to think.

“Alright… Here’s what’s going to happen,” You growl, lacing your words with a telepathic push. An urgency to be followed.

It’s not mind control, not technically.

Just a push.

You’re not even going to make him jump out a window.

–––

You don’t need to hear the stomping of boots in the hallway to know your time is almost up. You drop Koch to the floor. “Consider what we’ve talked about tonight.” Walking over to his desk, you rip off a piece of his day planner and turn it over. Write out the list of instructions.

Three simple suggestions. They’re in his own best interest, really.

You return to him, holding the paper out to take. He hesitates so you reach into his mind and give him a push before stepping away. By the time the riot police show up the scrap paper is gone, inside his pocket. You watch the police fill the other end of the room, shields up and guns drawn. The idiots. They’ll kill Koch if they shoot like this.

You don’t see or sense any of the Rangers.

That’s fine with you, if maybe a little strange. The man in charge steps forward, hand on the trigger finger. “Ghost, you’re under arrest. We have you surrounded.” You don’t need to read his mind to know from the look on his face and the way he’s holding his gun that he’s seriously regretting coming in to work tonight. What does the LDPD think they’re doing? They’re no match for you. Sure, you aren’t immune to bullets, but when has that ever stopped you?

You reach out to the captain’s mind and coax him to lower his gun before he sets off the whole room. “Ghost?” You fake a laugh, the distortion hollowing it out, then say innocently, “Don’t know anyone by that name.”

You crouch down, bracing yourself, placing a hand on the floor. You’ll only have a second before the tension of the situation wakes them up again. “More of a Banshee.” There’s a moment where it seems like nothing is going to happen and then the Nanovores eat a hole in the floor directly beneath you, dropping you down. You grunt, letting the armor absorb most of the shock, though the landing still plays hell on your knees. Going to regret that in the morning.

Above you the room erupts in shouts of alarm and someone fires their gun, setting off another gunshot, then another. You grimace in frustration and, telepathically reach back up to give them a metaphorical shake of the shoulders. You can’t have them killing your new informant.

You break into a run, following your thread to the nearest elevator shaft and breaking the door open with a mixture of force and Nanovores. As you make your escape sliding down the elevator cable you can’t help humming a few bars aloud as you try to steady your nerves.

The chittering of the Rat-King creates an accompaniment in the back of your head.

It’s getting scary just how comfortable with this life you’re starting to get.

Hitting the basement level you barely manage to clear the doors when Lady Argent is on you, all knives and quicksilver. Her claws dig into your arm before you’re able to get her to back off with an uppercut to the head. Argent flexes her jaw and gives you a predatory grin. “I had a feeling I’d find you down here Ghost.”

You study her face, waiting for a sign of any sudden movement. Getting out predicted like this is embarrassing but you need to save the over-analysis for when a woman capable of opening you up like a can-opener isn’t staring you down. You’ve got to reassert control of the situation. You make sure to put an edge to your voice, “It’s Banshee now. If you’re going to play lap dog, at least remember to fill in the incident report form correctly this time.”

Her eyes widen and then Argent leans down, her grin deepening into a scowl. “Ugh. I don’t care,” and she moves in.

Can feel your heart in your throat as the two of you exchange blows. When you try to slide past her, Lady Argent is ready for you, raking claws against the side of your armor, trying to find a point of purchase to pry you apart. Grab her wrist and pull her down on top of you. It’s a stupid move, and you pay for it with razor filings running down your sides but because it’s stupid she doesn’t expect it and you’re able to knee her in the gut and kick her away.

You hate fighting Argent in enclosed spaces like this. It’ll be a game of attrition as to whether you can get away before she can land a clean hit. The two of you are back to circling each other when you bump up against a support pillar.

Maybe….? You mentally check your map.

You’ll need to stall Argent. “So, what was your plan, if I went a different route?” As you talk you rest your hand on the concrete pillar beside you, coaxing the Nanovores to get to work. “Not a good look, hiding in a basement.”

Lady Argent narrows her eyes, “The Handyman’s watching the front door.”

“He’s out of the hospital now?” You sigh. “Are you really that eager to put him back in there?”

There’s a shark-toothed grin and the distinct feeling that she’s sizing you up. “You’re awfully concerned for being the bastard that put him there.”

“Healthcare’s not cheap in this city. Should we hold a fundraiser for him?” You give a theatrical flip of your free hand. “Any suggestions?” Too flippant? You’re never really sure how to approach Argent.

There’s always the temptation; in the back of your head. Let her know who you are, what you’ve done. See if she’ll kill you. But you always end up holding back. Why is that? You don’t understand yourself.

“My only ‘suggestion’ is bringing you to justice.” She keeps her focus trained on you, ready for the moment you make a move. Part of you is surprised she’s still letting you talk. Is backup on the way? That’s not Argent’s style.

“That’s a good thought about justice.” You rap your armored fingers against the pillar, testing to see if it’s hollowed out yet. “But who gets to decide what justice is?”

Would Argent feel bad, if she did kill you? Or would it just make things worse for her? How do you atone for something like this? Is revenge justice? Is it really enough to just make someone hurt?

You used to be sure.

“I liked you better when you didn’t talk.”

You tsk. “Oh and now you’re hurting my feelings?” You can’t keep operating like this. Need to compartmentalize better. Remember the goal. Remember revenge. The damage to Argent is done. Don’t fuck this up and make it be in vain.

Argent eyes your hand, still pressed to the pillar, and growls. “What are you up to?”

“Are you talking about, in general or just right now?” You smirk under your helmet. “Care to find out?” You push hard against the concert. The stone breaks like glass and the ceiling sags from the sudden lack of support, tiles crashing down around you. You jump backwards as the ceiling starts to give in.

No time for any last-minute taunts. You book it for the sewer entrance before Argent can realize the whole building isn’t going to collapse.

In the back of your head, she's still there, watching through the dust.

Smile like a shark.

Reminding.

---

“So, this isn’t what I had planned on talking about; but you’ll never guess what happened last night.” Ortega looks at you, leaning in, an edge to her smile. The two of you are meeting for an early lunch before heading up to the Children’s Hospital again.

You’d half a mind to order something alcoholic, but resisted. Instead, you’re watching Ortega over the rim of your milkshake, straw in your mouth. “Mm?”

“You remember Pennybags?”

You drum the side of the glass with your fingers, making a show of thinking back. “The magnetic guy?”

Ortega nods. “Yeah. Big bank robber, stole a bunch of things from the old Rangers HQ too, remember?”

You nod, grimacing. “Yeah, that was a mess.” Of course you remember. One of the few times you had actually seen Julia really upset. The first time actually. Didn’t know what to do, how to handle it. Ortega was always so confident, so in control of herself and the situation all the time. And there she was, tears and snot yelling at cardboard boxes about failing and… you did the only thing you could think of to do.

“Well, did you see the news this morning?” Ortega’s excitement pulls you back to the present. She leans in further over the table.

You sit back, shaking your head. “I was a little busy last night.” You wince, “This morning. I mean. Uh.” Shit shit shit. “Well. Both? Long night. Working.” You shrug, try to keep your face blank.

Ortega tilts her head, side-eyeing you. “Yeah, I still need to ask you about that job of yours.” She waves it off with a hand. “Anyway, Banshee made a mess again. North end of Beverly Hills this time.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Was anyone hurt?” You bite your lip, looking away. “Did… um. Did anyone else…?”

You know Banshee didn’t kill anyone last night. But…

Don’t breathe, don’t relax until Ortega shakes her head, “One guy had some minor injuries, but that’s it.”

Oh thank god. “That’s a relief.” You match Ortega’s smile, swipe a fry from the basket in front of her.

“I’m more convinced than ever that Marconi’s murder was something else.”

“That’s…” You look away, watch the window, fingers worrying the fry in your hand. Shit. What do you say to that? Fuck fuck fuck. “If you say so.” You look back at her. Need to push this conversation along before she can think about that response. “So, uh, are you just this excited that no one was hurt or did the Rangers finally bring Banshee in, or – or what?”

“No, they got away. Again.” Ortega gives you a curious look, eyes flickering down to the fry in your hand and then back up to your face. With an air of deliberate purpose, you put the fry in your mouth. She politely doesn’t say anything.

“So then…?”

“You’ll never guess.”

You shrug, steal another fry. “Okay.”

She frowns. “Don’t be a spoilsport.”

You keep your face blank, only raising an eyebrow as you silently eat your ill-gotten prize.

“Fine.” She huffs. “The guy Banshee attacked, the one that had to go to the hospital… It’s Pennybags. Bastard was hiding under our noses the whole time.”

“Money’s a pretty good cover.”

“Believe me, I’m wildly aware.” The tired expression on Ortega’s face is only there for a brief second and then it’s gone. “He practically turned himself in. It was… kind of creepy, actually. Reading the report.”

You swallow, goosebumps on the back of your neck. “Creepy?”

“Like he felt… compelled.” Ortega jabs a fry in your direction. “You’re the expert, what do you think? Can telepathy force a confession like that?”

“Ortega…” You make yourself meet her eyes. “You’re as much of an expert as me, at uh, at this point. M–maybe more.”

“Maybe.” She meets your gaze. “But I want to know what you think.”

Goddamnit, why does she keep doing this?

You focus on the basket of fries instead, it’s safer. “It’s… possible.” You concede. Would it be better to lie? It already feels like you’re lying about so much. It’s better to minimize the amount of bullshit you have to keep track of. “How are you… sure it’s a confession, and not like… uh, a delusion or something? False suggestion?”

“Yeah, that’s fair. That was my first assumption but uh…” She lowers her voice. “We uh, we found some stuff when searching the apartment. The signed Marshall Hood figure Pennybags stole actually…”

“Oh.” You say. You hadn’t expected her to actually talk about this.

“I… don’t really have a lot left of him. I thought I’d lost that one for good.”

“I remember.” You remember seeing the front door of its hinges, running through wrecked room after room, finding an alarmingly sobbing Ortega.

The first time you willingly hugged someone.

“There’s maybe five people who know about that figure, Ari, and two of them are dead now.” Ortega’s voice is quiet, her hand on the table balled into a fist.

“Do…” You fish for an idea, “do you think they’re trying to send you a message?”

Ortega looks you straight in the face, half-eaten hamburger now completely forgotten. You wish she wouldn’t. “A message? For what?”

You look back, willing yourself not to look away, not to look guilty. “I don’t know… I mean, it’s no secret you and Hood were close, is it?”

The look on Ortega’s face only intensifies. “You think maybe it was a threat?”

Your face blanches, and you shake your head. This is not at all going how you thought it would. “I’m not in this game anymore, remember?” You shrug your shoulders theatrically, “for all I know it could be a love letter.” You freeze. Face threatening warmth. Oh god. What the fuck, Ariadne?

The absurdity of the idea gets a laugh out of Ortega and you both relax. “Mierda,” she shakes her head. “That’s a hell of a way to send a letter.”

You steal another fry. She lets you.

[platinummice]

This was a lot more that i thought for some reason, the answers are pretty short and to the point so if you want me to elaborate on something a bit more feel free to ask :)

@rockshortage

What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

Did a take a test to figure this out? Why yes, yes I did. ISFP-T, or Adventurer is what I got for Archer.

Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

He sure does, but he doesn’t really know what it is. He mostly just thinks he’s going literally insane. It’s a pretty big reason for him not sticking around people very much even though he craves affection.

Are they good at handling change in their life?

No not really, Archer has a hard time, now more than ever trying to keep his simple life together, he’d prefer it not change as much as possible.

Is your OC a martyr?

He tries pretty hard not to be, or at least to not show that he is. He sees the truth though.

Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

Archer is pretty straight forward, if he fucked up he’ll say something. But he’ll make things up for others if he like them enough.

Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?

I guess it depends? If its not something that matters very much, compromise will be easier, but if he thinks it’s important then he’s going to be harder to bargain with.

Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?

Only his dogs and his friends needs get put before his own. Anyone else? so sorry.

Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?

He’s addicted to taking in animals? Seems harmless, but in truth he does it so he has a reason to keep living, which isn’t healthy. I can’t say he’d still be alive if he hadn’t taken Ranger and Fletcher with him the day those raiders killed the rest of his dogs. 

Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

He’s terrified of needles. Thanks mom and dad.

Is your character empathetic?

He is, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to care.

Is your character observant?

Yes, very. Probably because he works with animals a lot, and its very important to notice their body language, so he can read people and situations pretty well. Plus he’s more of a sniper so being observant is important.

What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?

He was really proud when he finished building his house, and all the furniture for it.  

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He doesn’t get jealous very easily, but even when he does he doesn’t bring it up. He’ll sulk around a bit, and when asked he’ll say he fine. He wont really feel bad about if? Its just an emotion, it happens sometimes.

What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?

Seeing people hurt animals for no reason. He will throw down. Might not win, but its the thought that counts.

Are they harsh on themselves?

YES.

Do they make excuses often?

Nah he’s pretty fast to admit when he’s doing something wrong.

Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I mean i didn’t make him like super ugly? But i wasn’t going for amazingly attractive either, so average i guess?

Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

He wears a mask all the time so he really doesn’t care. I mean at one point he had tore most of his hair out and just had a few scattered clumps clinging to his head, but people couldn’t see his face so it didn’t matter to him.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

He got some damn big emotional problems, and he recognizes some, like his slowly diminishing will to live. But things like his urge to have someone else control his entire existence he doesn’t really realize are problems. 

Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?

Everyone starts off with a set amount of respect. You either get more or have it taken away depending on your actions.

Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?

Arch can be pretty funny, if he has anything its a sense of humor.

Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?

Yeah he does, what can you do. No guilt will stop him.

Do they have a large or small group of friends?

He has two dogs and sometimes he works with a stinky man. He thinks Gage is a friend but does Gage think he is a friend? Who knows if Gage will ever tell him.

Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?

....His dogs?

Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?

He likes talking to people, but if there are too many people around he gets overwhelmed pretty fast.

Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?

More in the mix, he gets anxious.

Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?

Arch considers himself less important then most people, thats mental illness babey. 

Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

He’d throw everything to the wind for his dogs. Sorry friends, but they’ve helped him through too much.

Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?

Well he knows that he has changed a lot, so why not other people too?

How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

When he was in the Mojave, Joshua taught him about Mormonism, but he didn’t really understand. He remembers some stuff, but after he left he didn’t try to keep up with practicing it. 

Do they believe in an afterlife?

It’s not something he takes time to think about really. That kid of a ‘ill cross that bridge when i get there’ type thing

Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?

He would definitely not like that. He can barely manage his mental health as it is.

Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?

Smart when it comes to plants and animals, just about everything else? Not so smart.

How many languages do they speak?

Speaks exactly one(1) language.

Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?

He likes learning things, its just getting that knowledge to stick in his head that’s a problem. He doesn’t really seak out knowledge but if he has the chance to ask about things he will.

What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?

Its just a little shack like building, but he built it and he’s proud.

What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?

A big ol’ farm house, lots of room for lots of dogs/friends

Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

I dont think so, but it’d be funny as hell.

How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?

He can fix simple things, cabinets, chairs, dressers. Nothing too much more advanced than that.

How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?

He works really all the time. From when he wakes up to when he goes to bed. He basically runs a mini zoo by himself, its a lot of work but he loves it.

How often are they home?

Pretty often, he has animals to take care of.

Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?

Not really, he likes being out and about.

Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

Archer is actually pretty musically inclined, he’d never admit it though. You might be able to catch him singing to his dogs, if you're lucky.

Would they enjoy a theme park?

Maybe if he could somehow go when there aren’t any people there. That might sill be pushing it. He gets overwhelmed easily.

Is your OC close to their family?

Nope.

Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?

He only ever knew his mom and his dad. If there was anyone else in his family he never met them.

Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?

Nah he really doesn’t think they’re supportive of him. They definitely wanted him dead.

What kind of childhood did your OC have?

:)

Did they go through any typical phases growing up?

He went through a lot of things, but never got the chance to be emo.

What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

I know i said he was strictly gay yesterday but im thinking he’d actually probably be Pan and he’d just lean towards more masculine partners. He hasn’t really thought about his sexuality so he’s never had a reason to be stressed over it.

Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Any space in his mind that was supposed to be used for math and literacy etc. is now storage space for little facts about the people he cares about. He will remember. Oh you said you thought this flower was pretty six an half years ago in passing and i found one so i thought id bring it back for you.

Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?

Probably that there are multiple people who could be right.

Does your OC believe in love in first sight?

He barely even knows what love is, really.

Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?

He doesn’t really understand the point of it but if his S/O wanted it, he’d agree.

Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?

Nope :)

What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?

Climb to a really high place, lil picnic, watch the sun set, (maybe hold hands?) look at the stars.

What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?

Not liking animals. They’re literally his entire life, you cant be with him and not like animals.

What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

Umami. But he’ll literally eat anything, especially if he’s desperate.

Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?

He doesn’t really eat a lot of meat cause he wants to hurt as few animals as possible. He uses most of the meat he hunts for his animals, and only eats it when there is nothing else, or if there’s the possibility of it going to waste.

How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?

He cooks pretty often, that being said do NOT eat what he makes! I dont know how he is still alive!

Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?

Yep, in fact that's basically what he does already. Food is food babey.

Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

Archer wasn’t ever supposed to be like me, and he’s not really, which i think is a good thing?

Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

Yes he needs hugs and I will provide.

What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for?

I’ve technically had Archer for 5 years thats a long time :)

[wxldchxld]

Every third question for our favorite fox

Oh y’all better buckle up.

003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea?

Beck’s not allowed to have coffee. The world isn’t ready for that degree of energy. But also she just enjoys tea better.

006. What sense do they most rely on?

It depends on the form she’s currently in. For instance in hawk form it’s definitely sight, fox form most of it’s hearing, bear form it’s smell. In her human form idk if she relies on this the most but she’s probably at least the most aware of her sense of sight?

009. Do they believe in happy endings?

Sure. She’s not really the Debbie Downer type, and she fully believes she could have been truly happy with Harper if not for her penchant for self-indulgence and her overwhelming anxiety when it comes to conforming to society.

012. What makes your character embarrassed?

I’m not super sure this is a feeling Beck has tbh XD. I have a whole headcanon about this somewhere that I’ll link if you can find it. But like, it’s near impossible to embarrass Beck.

015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue?

Beck’s not very likely to fight at all. She loves to stir shit up and rile people that she doesn’t like especially (or ones she wants to fuck lmfao), but when things turn into a real fight even if it’s just an argument, Beck’s more likely to head for the door. She dislikes confrontation. It makes her very uncomfortable.

018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do?

Probably leave. If leaving it’s an option she’ll keep her head down until she has to do something. Like I said Beck doesn’t do fighting unless her back is to the wall and she has no choice. If she had to take some sort of role in a war it would probably be more espionage related.

021. How do they display affection?

All of the ways. TBH Beck is very affectionate even to her friends. Most prominently she wants to touch you and be touched. She’s very touch motivated. But she’ll also make things like knitting scarves and hats or cook food for her loved ones. She spends a lot of time with that person rather than running off into the woods constantly. She’ll sing to you a lot. And basically she’ll just kind of actually listen to you and respect you. Like if you tell her something to do she’ll do it rather than being an asshole.

024. What do they consider ugly in others physically?

Beck’s not super down with bodily hair. It’s one of the big reasons that even tho she’s bi she doesn’t fuck a lot of dudes. She’s never understood why women’s hair is supposedly gross and men can just grow a fur pelt on their legs/arms/chest/underarms and no one says shit. She’s a million times more likely to sleep with a man who shaves. 

She also just finds a general lack of hygiene to be a real turn off. Beck makes it a point, even living in the woods, even without the constant use of magic, to look presentable. She doesn’t like people that look nasty. Wash your hair. Take a bath. Brush your teeth. Otherwise she’s taking a hard pass.

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?

Beck’s idea of perfect happiness is finding someone who will live with her and travel with her and they can be wild wanderers and roam the world together unburdened by people. Where her familiars are happy and safe and she’s free.

030. Do they believe in the afterlife?

Sort of? Witch opinions vary just as much as ours when it comes to what happens to you after you die, with each theory holding a significant amount of weight. Beck’s in the unique position where she doesn’t often thing about it, because she knows her “death” it’s really going to be a thing. As a feral witch her life, unless abruptly ended through murder, is going to end with her spirit being reclaimed by the wilds, and never returning to the world of men or the life she knew before.

033. Do they keep their promises?

Beck generally doesn’t make promises. If she does, whether or not she keeps them depends on who you are to her. She’s a liar and a manipulator and a con-woman, of course she’s going to break promises. When she makes a witch’s deal (something she can’t break) she makes sure only to make them if they’re stacked in her favor and she’s able to fuck someone over if the desire strikes her.

Beck does try to keep promises she makes to people she genuinely likes. Like there are a couple of promises she made to Fen when they were kids, and even though he’s been warped and changed over the years, she still keeps her promises to him, even though he can’t hold her to them.

036. How honorable is your character?

….I mean not really at all.

039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person?

Imprisonment, probably? Or being forced to change who they really are.

042. What is their greatest achievement?

She’s a very good shifter and a decent dream walker. These are both abilities she was born with, sure, but having any control over your dream walking takes a lot of time and practice, and most witches never learn to take the form of anything aside from their clan symbol.

045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions?

Not really

048. Do they have any allergies?

She often claims to be allergic to people who annoy her but that’s 100 percent not true and she’s allergy free. Witches on the whole tend to be very healthy creatures.

051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today?

Probably contact Fenris and Harper and Cora and her amma. Mostly Fenris and Harper, because there’s still a lot unsaid between them. She’d want to say goodbye to Cora and her amma, but one of her greatest fears is dying without talking to her brother one last time and letting him know some things. Harper isn’t as dire to where it causes her anxiety to even entertain the thought that she might die without having one last talk, but if she KNEW she was dying, she’d want to try and give Harper closure, to let her know their fall out wasn’t Harper’s fault, and to tell her that she still loved her.

054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind?

Nah. Beck’s attracted to women that have both power and authority, but that’s just her type. Beck herself really has no interest in being in charge of anything. That’s too much responsibility. And the only power she needs is the power to do what she wants—which she has.

057. Has your character ever killed anyone?

It depends on the verse. In her verse for t100 yes she has killed and more than once. Each time was out of self defense and she had no other options.

060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning?

As an educator myself her attitude toward education is frustratingly apathetic. She was so severely neglected as a child that paired with her dyslexia she never really learned how to read beyond some very basic shit. Math was always frustrating for her. Service was hell for Beck because when it comes to reading spell books she’s useless, and she’s not particularly interested in learning spells she doesn’t feel will be of use to her. So like, she’ll encourage other people if they want to get an education, but she’s going to take a pass.

063. How well does your character handle difficult people?

Fairly well? I guess it depends on the type of difficult. Like I have a verse with @lcgioned where Beck’s life goal seems to annoy Lexa into an early grave, and yet she gets along with post-dictator Octavia just fine. Beck doesn’t really have a temper, and she doesn’t really do fights, so it’s hard to be too difficult for her. She just kind of rolls with it. 

The kind of person she really struggles with is the one that wants her to conform. The one that tells her she can’t act that way or scolds her because her behavior reflects poorly on them. If Beck doesn’t already like that person, for example she’s more than willing to behave to make Asha look good in my verse with @ashayara, then they can fuck off. Respect from Beck, in large part, comes from affection, and she doesn’t just listen to people because she should or she was told to. She won’t be controlled and micromanaged, so in order to curb her less desirable habits you have to be smart and endear her to you so that she’ll care about what you think. Because in general she doesn’t care how people see her. She doesn’t care if they think she’s strange or crazy, she’s living her gd life and it’s not their business.

066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature?

Nature. She doesn’t even tolerate cities well. They make her irritated and sometimes, if she’s subjected to them long enough, physically ill from all the anxiety they cause.

069. What about your character is heroic?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha………. I don’t know?????? I’m so sorry. I don’t see anything about Beck as heroic. Beck won’t like, stand by and let you murder a child or something horrendous if it’s like, right there in front of her. Like if she’s faced with something that she can put a stop to without it being too much of a risk to herself or her familiars she’ll do it, but Beck isn’t going out of her way to help people because it’s the “right” thing to do and she’s rarely going to put herself in danger unless it’s someone she loves on the line.

072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.)

I have never played D&D, so I honestly couldn’t answer this? I would assume either a wizard or a ranger just from what the name sounds like, but Idk.

075. Is your character ticklish?

Very and in all forms so think on that for a good while.

078. How emotionally stable is your character?

Beck lives in a stone fortress of denial that can only fall if you hit her with some major shit. Like she’s obstinately, often unshakably happy. Even if she slips for a few seconds, even in the worst and weirdest situations, she’ll turn around and be a smiling, ball of sunshine after a few seconds to gather herself.

Of course she does have a history of abuse, and especially in verses like ours she’s going through a lot, so she isn’t on as firm a footing as normal, but Beck’s not easy to shake in general.

081. Is your character religious?

Not really? Which is strange because she’s nominally a priestess to her people. But it’s more of a cultural thing. Like, witches in and of themselves don’t worship gods per se, but they hold their traditions and myths and stories in an almost religious regard. It’s very strange, I have a couple of deeper headcanons on it, but to make it kind of simple: Beck isn’t at all what we would likely call “religious” in our society.

084. Describe your character in one word.

If I’m being serious? Asshole. If I’m being nice? Witch.

087. How would your character describe themself in three words?

“One Foxy Lady”

090. How bodily expressive is your character?

I’m… not super sure what this means. If it means is she like, an animated person to talk to then yes. Unless she’s specifically trying to stay calm and use that to influence the emotions of something else, Beck’s never still. She’s almost kind of dizzying to talk to not because she moves in any crazy, major way, but just because it never stops.

093. What is your character’s goal in life?

To be free.

096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project?

Beck’s energy is best described as “a lot.” She’s got a big presence and like I just mentioned, she’s very active and animated. She doesn’t walk around slumped over, shy, or ashamed of herself. Unless she’s specifically trying to like fade into a crowd, she’s generally someone who grabs the eye because she’s confident and active and engaging to deal with and it’s almost overbearing over long periods of time.

099. Do they talk to inanimate objects?

She’s got a weird concept of inanimate. Like, in her world there are spirits all over the place, and they have a varying degree of sentience depending on the spirits, their age, their type, and the population density. So she’ll compliment a waterfall on how lovely it’s looking today but a small part of her thinks that like the spirits in the area take note of that and enjoy it even if they’re only semi-sentient. She struggles with seeing how those things aren’t transferable to stuff like computers and cellphones. In cities where most of the natural, open spirits that interact with everything without their own ulterior motives have been driven out, there aren’t any “cell phone” or “computer” spirits, but she’s so in the habit of it that (generally when she’s frustrated she’ll forget) she’ll curse at them or ascribe motive to something an inanimate object is doing.

Harper once bought Beck an extremely expensive sports car, only to immediately sell it after Beck amassed 4 speeding tickets in a month and got her license suspended because, as Beck put it, “the car wanted to go fast.”

[zuucc]

Compromise: M. Zuccarello I SMUT

Word count: 4,220

Smut: Yes

Summary: Mats and his ex-girlfriend still live together even though their five year relationship ended three months ago. A long discussion about their feelings and many tears later they come up with a compromise that saves their relationship and turns into some cute as fuck smut. 

Author’s note: Feedback will be greatly appreciated! There is very little to non fanfiction about the great Mats Zuccarello so I decided to take matters into my own hands. Hope you enjoy! 

Masterlist and Part 2 linked in bio

You just got home from a date, kicking off your shoes in the hallway and continued shedding your clothes - a stupid, skin tight, plum coloured dress - on your way to the washing room, where you immediately opened the tumble-dryer that you had started before you left and pulled out a pair of Mats’ sweatpants and a rangers hoodie that definitely wasn’t yours either. They were still warm. When you got out of the washing room Mats was sitting on the couch in the living room staring at you, which he had been doing since you’d walked through the door. 

“Unsuccessful date?” Mats asked, getting up and walking over to where you stood in the kitchen. You sighed and leaned your forehead against the cold refrigerator door. “Yeah…” you sighed again. Mats stood behind you and tapped your shoulder. You turned around and walked straight into his open arms. “What was it this time?” he asks as he places one hand in your hair, stroking, and one on your back. You cuddled your face in the space between his shoulder and his neck. “Bad breath? Messy eater? He didn’t get your humor?” he tried. You shook your head against his neck. “What was it then?”

“It’s just that, most guys find it threatening when you live with your ex,” you explain. “Do you have to tell them that on the first date?” Mats asks. “No, I try to restrain from doing so, but there comes a time when he wants to come home with you and you have to explain why you can’t go to your apartment even though it is within walking distance and it would make sense to go there in stead of across the city, and I end up having to tell the truth - I live with my ex-boyfriend,” you ramble, having pulled back from his neck, looking at him. Mats nods understandingly, grateful that you don’t actually take your dates home with you. 

“And then there’s the fact that this guy, Connor or whatever the fuck his name was, knows his goddamn hockey and after I explain why we can’t go to my place fucking says oh now I know why I’ve seen you before, you’re Mats Zuccarello’s ex. It all makes sense now, you being Norwegian, Rangers fan and all,” you ramble on, making a funny voice to imitate ‘Connor or whatever the fuck his name was’. 

“Ho got mad?” Mats asks, a frown forming on his face. “Yup,” you say discouraged. “How fucking hard can it be? If I’m not going to marry the guy, let me just get laid, you know?” you keep rambling not thinking about how the guy holding you isn’t just your best friend, but also your ex-boyfriend of three months, whom you loved and dated the last five years of your life. Whom you still love and still loves you. You look up at Mats, who looks sad, biting his lip. 

“That desperate, huh?” sadness prominent in his voice. You realize what you’ve done and look up into those sad, dark eyes of his. “I’m sorry, Mats, I’m just, I’m not desperate, I’m just…” you sigh and lean your forehead against his chest, covering your face with your hands as you feel tears threatening to spill. “I just want to get over you, and even though I chose to still live together, it’s hard, you know, seeing you every morning when I wake up, every night when I come home. I’m not healed yet, not even close. I mean, it’s been three months, and it feels like we broke up yesterday.” 

You look up to see Mats’ eyes looking glossy. “I know,” he puts his hand on the back of your neck and tucks your head back into the space between his neck and his shoulder again. “I know, baby,” he says. The last of your self control disappears, tears start spilling and you break out of his embrace. “And then you go and do that,” you emphasise ‘that’ by throwing out your hands. “You can’t just call me baby, or tell me good night, sweetheart. And you tell me, at least once a day, I love you, honey, and I would want you to say that to me as a best friend, like we’re supposed to be, but truth is, we’re not there yet. And you don’t say it like a friend, you say it like you did three years ago, like you did five months ago. And I can’t take it. I go to my room at night and I cry myself to sleep because you told me good night, sweetheart, because, as much as I’d like to be, I’m not your sweetheart anymore. And the thought of somebody else being your sweetheart someday, it kills me, Mats, it kills me,” you sob. You’re about to break down completely, but Mats catches you before you go crashing to the floor. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I try my best, I really do. I try my best to not call you by those pet names, but I’ve been calling you that for the last five years and it is physically impossible to just stop. Especially when I see you every day. Especially when I love you as much as I do. ‘Cause when we’re not fighting, or whatever this is, talking about our feelings for each other, it’s like we never broke up. Like now, when you walk in undressing yourself when you know I’m sitting right there, and you go and put on my clothes. And at night, when you come home from a rough day at work, or a terrible date, for that matter, if you look like you need a hug, I’m gonna go and give you one,” you’ve gone completely silent, listening to him and watching as tears silently fall down his cheeks. 

You never realised that the things you do, trigger his feelings just as much as the things he does do yours. You’ve had a mindset of he’s seen me naked thousands of times, it doesn’t matter if I ask him to unzip my dress, to get me a towel when I’m in the shower, if I walk from one room to another in just my underwear. But of course, it fucks with him just as much as it does with you when he’s making breakfast shirtless or walks around in his boxers. Or when you feel like lying on the couch and in stead of curling up, place your feet, or worse, your head, in his lap. 

You both stay silent for a while, both just holding the other person. Both having rivers of tears stream down your cheeks. “Should I move out?” Mats whispers. You shake your head. “If any one should move out it’s me,” you whisper back, your hands gripping to his shirt, face sticking to his now wet t-shirt. This time it is Mats’s head who’s shaking. “But no, no one should move out, I’ve thought about it a million times the last weeks. The thought of not seeing you, being with you, every day, it hurts more. Even if I can’t have you, I cannot stand the thought of not seeing you every day,” you’re standing on your own now, explaining passionately. Mats sighs and places his big hands on each of your shoulders. “Unless you want to, of course…” you add. 

He’s shaking his head again, and pulling you close enough for him to lean his forehead against yours. Your faces are closer than they’ve been in months - your lips are closer than they’ve been in months. Thoughts that are constantly floating around Mats’s head whenever you’re in the room, and sometimes even when you’re all the way across the globe, are now more prominent than ever. Thoughts that shouldn’t be there. He wants to kiss you so badly. More than ever, more than the first time he saw you after texting you all through summer. It’s been three months. He couldn’t stand to see you crying - not ever. He still recalls snapchatting five years ago, when you weren’t together yet, and you’d cried because of some netflix series you’d become to invested in. And the worst, when you had to leave after your first visit to New York, when you’d just started dating. Mats would never forget the tears that ran down your face when you stepped into the security line. And he won’t ever forget your tears when you’d broken up. All he wanted was to fix it. He wanted to kiss your tears away. Kiss away the pain. One kiss won’t do that much damage, will it?

It did, though. Mats moved his hands to the sides of your face, making you open your eyes and then you’re staring straight at each other. He can’t take it anymore - your green eyes that turn into a piercing shade that reminds him of some of the colours in times square whenever you cry. He leans in, pulling your face towards him as he puts his lips on yours. And for a second - everything is okay. Everything is fine, you’re fine. The world is at peace. 

That is until you pull back, pushing him away from you. 

“Mats, this is wrong. This is,” you can’t seem to find your words as you’re shaking your head back and forth, new tears streaming down your face. “We can’t do this, Mats, if we’re gonna get over this, over each other, we can’t do this. You can’t be telling me I love you, you can’t be giving me these loving hugs, and you can’t kiss me,” your voice is calm and persistent. Everything in Mats crumbles, everything around him, too. He leans against the kitchen island behind him and slides to the floor. Tears stream, and sobs take over his body. Few seconds later you plop down next to him and your arms find their way around him. An arm underneath his head, a hand in his hair and he lies down, head in your lap. 

As you sit there, stroking the hair of the only man you have ever loved, your thoughts become clearer. There is no way that you can ever get over him, that you can live without him. You’ve always hated being dependent on other people, but right now, as the last five years of your life, you depended on Mats for your happiness. You thought about all the things you’d do for him, for both his happiness and yours. You moved across the world for him, surely you could do this for him, too. Even though you’ve been so sure all your life, the man who’s head was lying in your lap, was the only thing you loved more than life itself, surely you would love his child just as much. 

“Mats,” you whispered. His sobbing had calmed down but you could still feel a wet spot on your thigh where his tears had fallen onto your, his, sweatpants. He nods slowly, his head still placed on your lap. “Get up,” you say, lifting the arm that he’s been clinging onto. He sits up next to you, where he’d been previously, before it all fell apart. You moved to sit in front of him and reached for his hands, which lay limp in his lap. “Let’s compromise,” you say, your voice a tad lighter and positively toned than earlier. “What?” he asks, his voice hoarse from crying. You inch closer to him, resting one of your hands on the back of his neck to make him look at you. “Let’s compromise, Mats,” you repeat. “Let’s have a baby, one,” you smile, leaning in to kiss him. Mats can’t help but kiss you back, it’s his favourite thing to do. You can feel that he is not as excited as you are and you pull back. Mats’ head falls a bit and he takes a deep breath before he looks back up at you. “I can’t let you do that, I can’t let you do something so life-changing for me, when you don’t even want to, I want you to be happy,” he says sadly. “No, no, Mats, you don’t understand. You are my happiness, you are everything to me and I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. I’m not happy without you, and you’re not happy without a child,” you’re back to rambling. You take a deep breath before you continue. “I love you, Mats, I love you like I’ve never loved anything or anyone before, and I’m sure I’ll love our baby just as much as I love you,” you finish. Mats places his hands on the sides of your arms. “Baby, are you sure?” he asks, just to reassure himself. You nod, a small smile forming on your lips. 

His hands move to your hips and you climb into his lap, locking your legs around him. Small smiles are growing bigger and your arms slide around his neck pulling him even closer to you, attaching your lips to his. You couldn’t even try to explain how good it felt to finally kiss him again, to finally feel his body close to yours like you’ve done almost everyday the last four years after you moved to New York to be with him. It reminds you of your first year together, how good it felt to kiss him again after months without seeing each other. It was like the feeling you got when you ran towards him in the airport when he came to get you or vice versa. When you finally got to kiss him again, when you got to have him for yourself again. Except this time it was better - this time it really felt like coming home, like the home you’ve lived in for the last three months finally went back to being the home you moved into when you first got here. 

“It feels so good to kiss you again,” Mats muttered in between kisses. “Mmhm,” you smiled into the kiss, feeling his lips turn upwards too. You tightened your hold on him and accidentally rocked your bum against his member, which made Mats let out a little grunt. You pulled back for a second just to look at the cute, but at the same time very sexy man in front of you and smiled. He sometimes got embarrassed when he accidentally made sounds like those, and with it being months since you last had sex, he shyly smiled back at you before pulling you back into the kiss again. This time the kiss wasn’t as soft, and it didn’t take long before you felt a hand move underneath the hoodie you were wearing and a tongue begging for entrance. You opened your mouth and Mats deepened the kiss, both hands now sliding up your back, feeling your smooth skin and pulling you even closer to him. The action made a little moan slip out of your mouth, which made Mats both smile and rock his hips into yours. You giggled as you felt his now rock hard member against your heat. You felt like you were back at his old apartment, where the two of you had sex for the first time. When you where just 20 and giggly - you were, after all, fooling around with an older guy.

“Come on,” you giggled as you stood up, taking his hands and pulling him up as well. Mats had barely gotten to his feet before he pushed you against the fridge behind you, placing his lips back on yours. The kiss deepens immediately and your hands go directly to his hair, whereas his go to the hem of the hoodie you stole from the tumble-dryer earlier. “Up,” he whispers against your lips and you stretch your arms above your head and Mats pulls the sweater off you - he throws it to the floor and within seconds you’re back against the refrigerator door. “Cold,” you wince, and before you know it you’re sitting on top of the kitchen island. His lips are moving down your throat to the tops of your breasts, which gives you time to grab at his black t-shirt, pulling it off. You grab him by his shoulders, pulling him closer to you, which results in him moving his lips to your neck and curling his arms around you, embracing you. “I’ve missed this,” Mats whispers into your neck. “I’ve missed you, I’ve missed kissing you, being with you… I’ve missed us,” he keeps whispering, giving you goosebumps. “I’ve missed this, too, Mats,” you mumble into his hair, your hands running down his muscular back. He places his hands underneath your thighs and lifts you off of the kitchen top and carries you towards your bedroom, that can finally go back to being your shared bedroom again. 

He places you on the mattress slowly, taking his time and dragging his hands down your body, taking hold of the sweatpants you’re wearing and removing them from your body. He takes of his jeans and leaves them on the floor before he climbs on top of you, placing one knee in between yours and leaning down to meet your lips again. It’s not long until he’s grinding his hard member against your hip and there’s a hand down your underwear. Your breath is getting rigid and you can feel yourself getting closer to a climax, but you want to be with him - you place a hand on his shoulder and push him on his back, before you get on top of him, taking off your bra on the way. His hands instantly go to your breasts but you catch them first and intertwine your hands with his. You lean down and kiss his chest as you slowly grind your heat into the very prominent bulge i his underwear. The small moans that come out of Mats’ mouth encourages you to go further and you move your hand into his boxers and take hold of his member.  You loved the sounds of his pleasure and how it made you want to do everything to make him feel good. You moved down his body, kissing from his chest and down his stomach. 

“Stop,” he moans, taking hold of you and pulling you up again. “Not today, baby,” he whispers and rolls the two of you over. A heated kiss later and you’re both completely bare underneath the sheets. “I love you, so much,” he mumbles as he moves between your legs. “I love you, too,” you smile, kissing him. He takes hold of his member and positions himself in front of your heat. “You ready?” he asks, looking up at you. “Yeah, just, it’s been awhile, you know,” you say, looking into his beautiful, dark eyes that have somehow gotten darker in the last minutes. “Yeah, of course,” he nods and smiles sweetly before slowly pushing into you. He pushes in fully and it’s like you feel complete again - it’s been so long and feels so good to be with him again, to actually be with him. He stays put for a little while, letting you adjust. “You okay?” he asks, looking at you to make sure you’re fine. “Yeah, move,” you sigh with content. 

He starts to slowly move in and out of you, small moans slip through his lips, and nothing makes you happier. You’re filled with even more want for the man on top of you. He starts out slow, rocking into you in a steady pace. His lips are touching every part of your body they can reach, your lips, your face, your neck, your chest. He’s got your leg hiked up, a hand slowly sliding up and down your thigh. Your moans urge him to speed up, not too fast, but enough to edge you closer to your climax. Your hands are clawing at his back and running through his hair, your legs tightening around his body, making sure you’ve got him as close to you as humanly possibly. You were finally home again, you were finally home. Yes, you’ve lived in the same apartment, with him, all three months of being broken up, but it wasn’t home without knowing that he was yours. You hated clichés, but damn, he was home. 

You’re broken out of your thoughts when he pulls out and moves to your side. “On your side, baby,” he smiles, cuddling his face in your neck. You smile and do as you’re told, turn to your side and lift your leg while he slides in from behind you. He takes hold of your leg and starts moving. Uncontrollable moans immediately slip past your lips, the new angle pushing you even closer to your high. Mats is placing kisses on your shoulder and you feel his breath getting heavier, implying that he’s getting closer to his climax too. “Mats,” you moan. You wanted to tell him that you were close, but you never got that far. “I know, baby,” he whispers against your neck, giving you goosebumps on top of it all. “You’re clenching around me.” He speeds up his tempo and his hand go to your clit to make sure you’re getting there on time. His low moans in your ear sends chills through your body, it pushes you over the edge and for a few seconds you have no control over neither your body or your voice. Mats let’s himself go when he feels you hitting your climax. Your body uncontrollably clenching around him and your moans works as his last push over the edge and you can feel him pulsating inside you. He gives a couple more thrusts before he relaxes, resting his head in yours, his arms embracing you. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says as he slowly pulls out and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before he gets up and moves towards the bathroom connected to your bedroom. You turn around just in time to get a glimpse of his naked backside before he slips into the bathroom. You can’t help but smile. When he returns he’s wearing a fresh pair of boxers and he’s carrying a damp washcloth. He’s smiling, and you can’t help but let your own smile take over your face. He comes over to your side of the bed and lifts the covers of your naked body to clean you up. When he looks up he meets your look of admiration immediately. “What?” he asks shyly, an embarrassed smile spreading quickly. “I just love you, and I love your face,” you smile. He shakes his head, redness appearing on the tops of his cheekbones. He leaves for a minute again, coming back with a glass of water and the clothes you’d left on the kitchen floor earlier. He puts down the glass on your bedside table, giving you a knowing look. Your throat is begging for water and you take a sip right away. “T-shirt?” he asks, holding up the black t-shirt he was wearing earlier. “Yes, thank you,” you smiled and sat up, putting it on. He sat down next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. You couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could he. 

You leant forward, kissing him softly. He kissed you back smiling and you couldn’t help but giggle into the kiss. “What?” Mats asks, again. His eyes bright and smile wide. “I’m so in love with you, like, it never stops. I still feel like I did when I was 20 and we’re fooling around behind everyone’s backs. I’m all giggly again,” you laughed. Or giggled. “Yeah, and I’m all shy again,” Mats laughed too. You placed your arms around his neck. “Come on, let’s go to sleep,” you said, laying back with Mats falling on top of you. He gives you a couple of kisses  before he crawls over you and underneath the covers. He pulls you into him and kisses the part of your shoulder that is bare. “I’ve missed spooning you,” he says. You laugh wholeheartedly and turn around in his embrace. “What are you doing? I want to spoon,” he says, pretending to be offended. “I just want to kiss you, okay? I’ve missed kissing you,” you answer. He gives you a couple of kisses, some on your lips and some all around your face. “Now, turn back around so that I can spoon you,” Mats mutters childishly. You shake you head laughing - this is the exact reason why you fell in love with him. You turn back around and his legs tangle with yours. 

You lay in silence for a while, just comfortable in each others arms. You were both laying still, except for the occasional kiss to your neck or your shoulder. “Are you still on your birth control pill?” Mats asks about fifteen minutes after you last talked. “I should have taken a pill tonight at ten o’clock and I’m not planning to get up and take it,” you say, squeezing the hand that was holding yours. “So, I’m not going to get pregnant from tonight,” you explain. 

“Well, we’ve got a lot of fucking to catch up on, so I guess that’s fine.” 

[serlymurly]

A RANT ABOUT CHARACTERS, CREATION, AND THE PROCESS OF BEING INSANE

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Let’s have a rant. A good, old fashioned rant about something that’s been nagging at my mind. First, paint the scene;

It’s 6 in the morning. The sun is rising outside. The love of my life is asleep in bed, our cat is in a box lined with a fuzzy blanket that I could have draped around my shoulders because frankly, it’s a bit cold. We have no creamer, and I think coffee wouldn’t help this headache that’s pounding away at my skull - and I have four people talking in my head.

Did I lose you yet? Probably not. It’s pretty straight forward. First - the puppy nailed to the wall. Four people talking in my head, what? Well - technically, I think they’re all me. But on a different level, only two of them are me. Got it?

One of me is going on about how this is all, in fact, a terrible idea and that to post any of this is to admit to a certain kind of insanity that I really shouldn’t be admitting to. This isn’t normal, on any level; I’ve never heard people talk about it, and the only person that I’m aware is actually on point with how I do things in writing is asleep.

The other part of me really wants banana bread, and frankly, I can’t fault that. Can you? Of course you fucking can’t, unless you’re allergic to bananas. Fuck yeah, banana bread.

Then, there’s the other two. One is a face that people who follow me are familiar with; James Oaklen. Don’t know who he is? Probably not! I’ll talk about him later. And he’s having a lovely conversation with this newest creation, this newest part of my intracranial house - Aeslen. But I won’t talk about her. Not yet.

So, yes. Four people. All adamantly talking their points, all actively going on and doing their own thing; existing in some level on a scene that I’ve always had in my head. Let’s explain that bit, shall we? Sorry this is disjointed - again, no coffee.

Flash back I don’t know how many years, and I was a young, young boy. I barely had any understanding of how to type; I’d never played a game outside of Banjo-Kazooie and Super Mario 64, games that required a controller.

I will spare the dirty details, but life at home was not perfect. There was yelling; there was hitting, there was strife, and a family that was slowly tearing itself apart. I could see the writing on the wall when I was 7, that’s how bad it was. So - my mom decides it’s a good idea to introduce me to this game she plays.

A game called Ultima Online.

And holy crap, that was amazing! I spent hours doing nothing of any importance on her computer, on our shitty internet in that crappy home in Ohio, just exploring this world with a character that I had created with my own two hands in a whole other world. This was a concept that I had never experienced; this was a new and exciting frontier for me. I named him Krill because that’s a COOL name and it sounds COOL. I gave him flaming red hair, I made him a paladin, and I spent hours just trying to kill skeletons in a really easy area at the start of the game because I kept forgetting how to fight things.

And then, one day, everything changed. UO, it turns out, maybe just the server I was on - had a very active community of this thing called ‘Role Players’. Weird, right? People who actively played out their characters as real, living things - in this world. Personalities, histories, everything. I stumbled on them by accident when I got lost in the big castle in the main town of the game.

There, at the time, was a bunch of high-end guilds. One was the Orcs (it was just people with orc masks on, but they pretended to be orcs and they rocked at it). There was the Highlanders (they wore kilts and I REALLY WANTED TO BE ONE). There was a merchant guild, and - all these other guilds I feel bad not remembering. And I was just this little seven-year old kid with a character named Krill with flaming red hair that walks into the middle of this big, IC meeting they were having. Imagine them responding to me with actual respect?

Imagine them actually… explaining what they were doing? With respect? I was so awestruck, I asked if I could play. They made me door guard. Boy, LET ME TELL YOU, I took that job so seriously. I stood just outside the meeting and I could see all their little talk, all while making sure nobody entered without permission. I was so hyped.

That, that stuck with me. Okay? Remember that. The idea - the concept that they had presented to me, this way that you could live another life through a digital form. That stuck with me.

But - well, things change. People. Lives. I never really got into the RP scene on that game; I wandered around and pretended to be part of things, but it was mostly them politely recognising me and letting me watch them do stuff. I only had an hour each day online, so it just - wasn’t enough. Eventually, my mom stopped paying for her UO account due to issues. So - back to the nintendo and other things.

Flash forward. Divorce imminent between the two parents. The world is collapsing around us children. My sisters are massive assholes, my brother and I feel like we’re alone together in a sea. So… in a desperate attempt to keep his spirits up, I introduce him to the concept. “Let’s pretend to be Link and go slay invisible monsters!”

Stupid, right? So we pick up sticks and start staying as far away from our house as we could. We’d talk about all the things we were fighting, we’d hit each other with ‘swords’, we’d drag our local friends into it! We just - disassociated. I think for him, it was mostly the swinging the sticks that was interesting; always fighting, always smacking things. But for me? I was using my mind to, you know. Envision such grandiose and wondrous things for us to be fighting! I was imagining landscapes, unspeakable monsters, and the type of person that I would be!

That evolved. Stuff happened again. We moved from where we’d been living to a new environment; Michigan. I like Michigan, don’t get me wrong; fucking love it there. But, well - we were young. I didn’t know anyone, and it was 5th grade. And then - more stuff happened.

I won’t go into nitty details, but one of my sister’s had a major incident occur. This lead to the family being put under more strain, which eventually finally snapped the cord. Grandparents died. One suddenly, one from cancer shortly after. A nasty, nasty divorce that left me feeling horrible. I was convinced that I could have stopped it - all of it. I was convinced that I should have; since I wanted to be that big hero, remember? Since I wanted to shoulder all the burdens.

I took it upon myself to never show any problems outwardly, after that point. I just smiled and acted silly and nobody really paid me much mind. “Oh, he’s always fine!” It’s about this time I got into (GASP) UO again. Freeservers, this time; technically, I think that was illegal, but who cares. I got deep into it; I made my first *real* RP character, who was of course a massive dork. Leone, a grey elf ranger that ate lemons - because I’d convinced *myself* that if you ate enough lemons, you could spit caustic spit? I don’t know, I was weird.

Leone would be my staple character for a long time. So long, in fact, that I began to wonder - as maybe we all do - where he stopped and I began. Sure, he was an elf with magic and grey skin - but personality wise, I felt he was a lot like me!

Then I learned that was a cardinal sin of roleplay. Apparently, you should never - EVER - make a character like yourself. You become too attached - which I did. You become too personally involved - which I did.

Games change, years move on. I went to SWG, I played a new character - Stodosmo Oci (horrible name I know). He was a security officer at a hospital! It was great. I loved it. It was a long, boring time of just sitting and watching doctors RP it out with patients in Mos Entha. And then.. I don’t know. Things. Again.

Went from there to WoW. Technically, I’d been in WoW since Vanilla - but the lore had never struck me as interesting enough to roleplay in seriously until just before BC released. I had a series of characters there, all sharing the same last name; Rodetan. Eventually, as Wrath came to a close, I decided to consolidate them into one large family tree.

WoW’s timeline sucks. That’s all you need to know about that.

Who remembers the early days of WRA? Alliance-side, there was a guild called ‘Stormwind’s Army’. Yes, it was just another military RP guild. Yes, we did a lot of patrolling and policing. It was fun, though; my character rose from an unwashed bum to chief recruitment officer. And then - drama happened. The guild split. I followed the ‘rebels’, and we formed the Vanguard of the Alliance (VotA). That was also fun.

Anyways, I’m sparing you all the nitty-gritty details - but this is where the story, once more, becomes interesting. After so long, VotA eventually fell apart. We all went our separate ways, and eventually three of the officers let me know that they’re still RPing in-game with this new group - Blood of Arathor, I think it was called. I’m asked if I want to join them. I say - sure, but not on the character I’d been using.

At the time, I was - kind of embarrassed of that character. I still am. He’s my best success story, yes, but he felt - I don’t know. Too close to me, in some ways that I won’t get into. So I thought - why not make a NEW character?!

OH BOY.

But there was a problem. And this is what most of this rant was building up to.

I had to build a new character.

From scratch.

Alright, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it? - Except somewhere along the line of creating him - he came alive. In designing him, in creating his personality - I suddenly found that I was physically talking to myself - and in my mind, this quiet man was responding. James Oaklen, Knight of Stromgarde, was telling me about himself.

His goals. His life. His loves. His interests. All about himself; his world. How he felt about certain foods, how he felt about everything.

At the time - I had very, very acute problems in the real world. I was taking drugs, drinking heavily, I was obnoxiously depressed to the point of being borderline suicidal - and… well, this happened. What did it mean?

Don’t answer that. It’s not a real question, because it doesn’t matter.

I accepted that he was who he was - and he’s become one of my favorite recurring personalities in my characters. And he’s not the only one, anymore. At some point, this - new way of creation, this way to create characters that exist in my own mind - just, settled in.

So.. I wanted to document how it works. Sort of. Maybe you at home can replicate it?

I start by closing my eyes. I think about what races there are to choose from, what classes or skillsets; and then I just… start to see a person. Whoa, weird, huh? Just an outline. A faint outline.

So, we reach out with our mind, and we call to them; and they slowly come forward. We get an imprint, a basic idea for what they look like, in our minds. So - we go to the creator and we try to do that. As close as possible.

Then we look at the character. Scars; how did they get them? Each scar is a story in itself, and as you look - they begin to tell you about each one. As if just explaining casually. James has a scar along his neck, which he earned when he almost died defending his Lady - something that he constantly thinks about as a time that he failed.

Or, other big features? James - again, using him as an example - has a large, bushy black moustache. It’s his family’s staple, a sign of their masculinity and proof that an Oaklen has come of age.

And so on. Then, by the time we get to the point where we have to name them, they’ve already told us the most important things. We don’t just have a vague outline in our little mind shack; now, we have a PERSON. And the name? Well… That’s a limitation of the system, baby. Pick something as close to what resembles the name they called themselves, and stick to it.

I could go into more depth. I could go into the process of creating a video where I create a character, but - well, why? It’s just this vague idea that I want to get across right now. I really doubt anyone will read this five-to-seven page long spiel all the way through. But it’s just - interesting, to me. It constantly is there, this - process, these characters, these people. And not just them; worlds come just as easily. Is that the product of an over-active imagination from a man that was desperately seeking to avoid reality and paint a better fiction for himself to sit in? Probably.

But… I don’t know. When it boils down to it, I just let it happen. I get ideas in my head all the time for wondrous worlds, characters and things - but the most agonizing problem is that they can never seem to translate into text or print. I can’t paint worth a damn, I can barely draw - and the one medium I have for escape, Roleplay, is something that I barely do anymore.

So - how do I make it stop? Do I want to make it stop? Should I? How do I harness this? How do I focus it into something specific?

If you made it this far, congratulations. I don’t know how to end it, so I’m just tagging all the mmo’s I’ve ever played or remember playing for giggles. Kudos if you get all of them!

[phthalology]

Destiny: Covenant Between the Idle Dead

Cayde and Zavala both have a nagging sense that when Andal introduced them wasn’t the first time they met. Yuletide fic for @gethporno. On AO3 here.

1. Scraps

Zavala was raised on a beach. Grains of sand flecking his hands and salt so thick in the air he might as well be drinking the water, and the little silver Ghost beside him, telling him to attend to the eternal war.

Ikora almost died beside him once. A rocket took the boulder next to her with a glancing blow, and then the follow-up turned into a firestorm. Zavala wrenched his Sparrow to the side and held the spot, expecting her to idle dead there until his own Light could bleed back enough into Ikora’s for her Ghost to raise her. The mingling told him that she was alive. Furious, dirt spattering her arms, she vaulted back onto her Sparrow and drew a sphere of Void energy in the air. The rocket did not fire again, and thereafter he remembered the burning cryogenic-cold of her Void Light.

The first time he met Cayde-6 he thought the strangeness in the Light came because Zavala was mourning Andal. Duty to the Tower, duty to the institution of the Vanguard, duty to the title Osiris had held before him — Commander Zavala kept these things in mind while he looked at the Exo and tried to figure out where they had met before. Had Andal brought him around before? It was hard to find a Hunter Vanguard, so having two with similar sensibilities was not only understandable but expected. Was Zavala tired, needing hot tea and warm quilts, searching for something to which the Light was answering you have met Cayde-6 before? The sense of recognition did not fade. Instead it became manageable. It waited like a word unremembered, forever on the tip of his tongue.

2. Code Strings

The simulation becomes clearer every time. It is not a memory: Cayde-6 is certain of this because it does not flow through the same channels, does not generate the same code. Recall feels linear: one after one after one, cause and effect (such as they are for Guardians, such as they are for the contested Earth). The Deep Stone Crypt feels disjointed, non-chronological, eternal. Zavala’s Light feels this way, also.

Cayde-6 does not know whether the tower is his own memory, or his ancestor’s memory, or someone else’s entirely. Maybe it is a memory of only his body, wired into his brain at the spine but not originating with him at all. It is a tower that is not the Tower. He kills neophytes and civilians there, the ramen chef with the flowers in her hair, the Frames in their neat lines. He never kills either of his fellow Vanguard, not after he takes the Dare and does the ritual. He does not know why.

He wants to rattle Zavala. Cayde-6 thinks he understands Ikora Rey, although he does not entirely: she indulges his jokes, smiles with full lips and bright eyes. Zavala just looks at him, and Cayde’s mind turns over and over trying to figure out why. It’s distracting, like an itch — an alert without pain. Cayde feels like he has experienced this before, that somewhere in his buried memories is the way to get Zavala to smile at him.

3. Official Records

DATE: REDACTED

KEYWORDS: Fallen; Eliksni; Vanguard; Commander Zavala; Ikora Rey; Cayde-6; Ace of Spades; Scene-Stealer

There are battles that feel older than others. Timeless, if dreams feel timeless. Medieval, in the sense of iron and blood. The Fallen had brought a tank up to the Wall, in one of the opportunistic pushes big enough for the Vanguard themselves to attend to the forever siege. Ikora had a sword dragging behind her, a sliver of folded titanium she called a Scene-Stealer.

“Give me room,” she said, and Cayde popped the Golden Gun and fired down into the swarming ranks.

One, two, three shots and then the tracers found him and he danced back. Rock crumbled. Cayde found himself falling, metal screaming against metal, the acute discomfort of chips ripped from his body through his fieldweave. He tumbled to the feet of the tank with the gun still ablaze. Fine opportunity — he fired upward.

Zavala landed next to him, fighting like an Exo in a dream — no weapons in hand at all, just a shield wall and then his hands dragging Elksni around behind it. Zavala used the wreckage of the Wall like a crucible, pressing squirming arms against its stones until the Eliksni cried out and Zavala went for the eyes, ignoring shots fired against his plating —

Cayde rolled to his feet, ducked behind the Titan wall while the last golden sparks dripped to his feet. Out of sight, Ikora’s Light sparked and crackled like a live wire to his left, held in reserve for now.

The tank stepped forward. Then the hands that had broken Fallen arms were dragging Cayde back, out of the mud beneath the tank’s creaking feet.

“Let’s go,” Cayde thought he heard Zavala say, his breathing loud in the comm.

Cayde wriggled to his feet, patted Zavala’s shoulder blade as the tank reared against the City Wall. They stood like that while Ikora saw her opening — felt her see it, felt her mind like the intricate gears and golden ribs of the Speaker’s astrolabe. Ikora flew on a whirlwind of Void Light and stabbed the tank in the back of the neck with her Scene-Stealer. She leaned back and dragged, kicking her feet for a moment against the downward momentum of her own stab, and pulled the sword across as smoke and fire began to bleed out of the head of the tank. It collapsed beneath her.

Afterward, the Guardians on the Wall took care of the Fallen’s main spearhead. The bugs scattered back from around the corpse of the tank. The soles of Ikora’s boots had melted into the cut across the neck, and she stumbled as she walked out of the tank, fixing the sword to her belt. Black goo trailed from her boots.

Zavala reached out to help her up.

“We did it,” Ikora murmured, quietly enough that Cayde moved closer to hear. Zavala waved him into arms’ length. Cayde bristled at first, realized a moment later that it was in expectation of a rejection that was not coming. Zavala was usually so untouchable, body and mind — but now they had struggled and won, and Cayde sank against Zavala in a shrugging embrace that Ikora took up on the other side. She tugged them into the wreckage and they sat there against the smoking skin of the walker, watching the smoke rise, hearing the civilians cheer.

Zavala, sure of the duty of the Vanguard and the eyes of the civilians on the Wall, stood first.

4. Unofficial Records

They both have a nagging sense that the day Andal introduced them isn’t the first time they met.

Or at least, Cayde-6 supposes they both have it. It might be normal Vanguard Light-muddling, a side effect they don’t write about in manuals.

Cayde-6 reads people. He has to, in order to know how to call bluffs and push buttons and escape parties too boring or dangerous to endure. But Commander Zavala smiles with silvery lips and long canines, and you cannot just ask a man of such principle and gravitas whether it’s significant that you know and do not know him, that you actually never saw him in that particular dream ever and isn’t that strange? Isn’t he someone you know? Or does this nagging mean something else, that the three Vanguard are all shadow-selves to one another, reflections? Were they reflections before Cayde took the Dare? Was he always partially here around this table with these people? The idea is disgustingly noble, disgustingly boringly fated. It makes him want to run. But that nagging is something that keeps him rooted. He feels like he knew Zavala when they were both first raised, how ever far down the muddled memories that was. He has to remind himself that he is not certain Zavala feels the same way.

The question dogs him, but he doesn’t feel right asking. That would be needy. Cayde is not above asking assistance from a friendly Guardian or passing ranger but the Vanguard have jobs and Cayde respects their time. There is always a fight, now Oryx and now Ghaul — and besides, asking would make him look uncertain. If a person needs kindness Cayde will provide it, but his own curiosity is no kindness. He will not burden Zavala with this — not quite yet.

--

His chance comes weeks later. In the hangar Zavala is examining a new weapon from Fenchurch’s wanderings, an automatic day-ruiner as big as one of those Cabal cannons. Zavala says something about the strange abilities of the thing, a sense of foresight that guarantees the bullets hate physics. Cayde isn’t paying much attention. The gun looks good in the hand, sure, but — “…like déjà vu. Insistent cryptomnesia, inflicted. Made useful.”

“What now?” Cayde is leaning on a crate in his usual hangar hang-out, one leg stretched out behind him. Zavala is standing a few meters away from him, so Cayde makes sure his turn looks lazy.

“Just examining this.” Zavala’s expression is calm, controlled. It’s weighty like the Wall. Cayde wishes he could see what it would look like for Zavala to emote. (Although there was enough of that after Mare Imbrium, wasn’t there, enough ragged looks like piles of rubble.) There are techs around, but right now their presence doesn’t matter. Cayde can’t see anything except Zavala and his need to ask this question, to receive this answer.

“Do you ever get the sense that you’ve met me before? Like, you know, as if we were both experiencing déjà vu at the same time but like all at the same time and just with you and I, specifically. Is that normal Vanguard behavior because if not I thought that it might be useful for you to know, you know, in case it was the sign of some crypto … mania.”

Zavala sets the gun down. It thunks.  “Cayde, I don’t expect that you knew this already, but some Awoken and some Guardians feel that all the time.”

“What?”

Zavala rolls his shoulders for a moment before walking toward Cayde, circling around toward the hangar techs as he speaks. “Not all Awoken do, and not with all other people. Some people think that it’s because we have the memory of our original remaking in us, the thing that changed the first Awoken from human into us.” He’s meeting Cayde’s eyes as he goes, and it isn’t condescending so much as very intense. Zavala could make Cayde into a crater if he stood here long enough, that stare says, but he chooses not to. He chooses to stand here and defend, like that Wall, and that’s as close to a Fireteam as Cayde has ever had.

“But it doesn’t happen with everyone,” Zavala continues. “Usually with people who have a shared destiny, or a deep bond.”

“So which are we?” Cayde is made bold and shy together by the directness of the answer.

“Probably both,” Zavala says. He just stands there with his hands on his hips and lives with that, with a bond from which he does not want to escape into the pine forest, and Cayde sighs.

“So is this normal?”

“Not normal. But I’m honored to have it,” Zavala says.

Cayde sighs again. Considers and discards saying “I Light-memory-bond you too, buddy,” or something, but it feels too small. The bond has been there after all, self-evident, pressing in on them. Cayde had looked into a kind of eternity, not like the Crypt, but a definition of non-memory, and was struck silent with the depth and strangeness of the respect idling in the Light. Cayde sighs and idles, and Zavala reaches out a hand in a glove of his own making, and Cayde shakes it.

[jacksgreysays]

I've been really loving "It's Thunder and It's Lightning" by We Were Promised Jetpacks and "Thunder" by Imagine Dragons lately. I feel like there's a thematic link there (obvious in the song titles), but the songs themselves are quite different. Do you think you can do anything with them (together) as a prompt?

I love both of these songs, lionheadbookends! I never really thought to compare them even though, as you said, their titles are similar. I suppose it’s because of when I encountered the songs (years apart, that is) and again, as you said, the feel of them is quite different; but I’ve given them both another listen with the lyrics in mind and I think I’ve got the link.

Thunder by Imagine Dragons is more easily understood as a song–not that simplicity of meaning makes it less musically entertaining–but as a piece of literature it’s fairly straightforward. An age old story of a kid from a (small) town who doesn’t quite fit, who is going to leave and make it big even though no one really believes in them. It’s almost the same idea behind a hero’s  journey–an internal call to action that differentiates the protagonist from the others in their hometown who are satisfied to stay behind.

In Thunder, it’s the vocalist vs the rest of his town/the world, but in a way it’s also the vocalist vs his own determination–can he keep going and achieve his dreams despite all the negativity trying to bring him down.

It’s Thunder and It’s Lightning by We Were Promised Jetpacks is more difficult to parse. Frankly, I’m still not sure how many people are involved in the story. There’s definitely at least two people: the vocalist and whoever the vocalist is going to guide home. That person is probably also the person whose body was black and blue. But there is probably a third person who is threatening to punch out the vocalists lights.

So as a narrative, this song might be about two teenagers dating and one of them has an abusive parent. Unless it really is just about two people in a rather disastrous relationship. But regardless it’s not really about the story so much as it is about the feeling: there’s chaos and violence and fear and at some point the vocalist decides to leave not out of an actual desire to do so but out of necessity, out of survival and desperation. And on top of that, the vocalist is not entirely sure if outside is more dangerous–it’s night and there’s a storm, no guarantee of safety, but at least it’s not where he is now about to get beaten. Bleak, yes, in comparison to Thunder which is uplifting.

In Thunder, the thunder and lightning is a good thing–a goal to be reached, to become so great that you change the sky, everyone looks up to see you, everyone listens; no one can beat you down. In It’s Thunder and Lightning, the thunder and lightning is neutral–force of nature which the vocalist decides is a better fate than the closer, human violence.

Ultimately what connects these songs, besides their titles, is the theme of leaving a toxic place–maybe to follow one’s dream towards a bright future, or maybe just to escape, braving the unknown to get away from the known danger. Moving on to bigger if not necessarily better things because to stay is to stagnate, be victimized, and die.

But you’re not here for an essay analyzing these two songs, you’re here for what I can make from the analysis as a prompt.

—

Frankly, lionheadbookends, whenever I see lightning (or thunder) my brain immediately goes to Tetsuki because she’s… well, she’s it for me. Maybe also Kiyoshi Utsugi–who has Lightning natured chakra as well–but given her specific circumstances it’s hard to apply prompts as easily to her.

Tetsuki is my go to OC–my everywoman, if you will–and this prompt could not be more suited to her. But it’s a very different side to her than I normally explore because it’s, well, less fun?

For me and for her, I think.

Because except for her “first life” that is, Trailblazers in KHR, Tetsuki doesn’t really have a toxic home life either because a) her families are kind if not loving or b) she has no home/family.

In her first life, Tetsuki’s parents were neglectful if not outrightly emotionally abusive. They might have possibly also been physically abusive earlier on–leading to Ryohei and Tetsuki taking up martial arts–but nothing that continued for long.

Were I to ever write Trailblazers properly, there would be a scene where, for the first time since the mafia madness started, Tetsuki’s parents came home (they travel a lot, mostly, hardly ever in Namimori which is why she can get away with so much but also where the neglect comes from) and suddenly the badass, cool senpai who will throw herself into this world of Flames and danger is just a teenaged girl who trembles whenever her parents raise their voices.

There would then be a point where–primarily the Sasagawas, but also the rest of the Family–remind her that she isn’t what they say she is, that she’s more than just a burden or an incompetent or whatever they say of her. And she leaves, probably to live with the Sasagawas properly (whose parents have always been quietly preparing for this day, pretty much have everything but the paperwork done to make her their third child) or, depending on the timeline, to a full-time member of Vongola.

So while it’s similar to the prompt idea, unfortunately, that’s not quite enough.

For this prompt I would probably go with a Viridescent–though I’m not yet sure what fandom would best house this particular episode–in which Tetsuki has the memories of her previous lives but none of the powers.

Which isn’t a combination I’ve yet done, I think. I’ve done powers and memories (Externality, Multiphenomenal, the Power Rangers Viridescent). I’ve done limited powers and limited memories (Iron Will). I’ve done powers but no memories (Deuteranomaly). But I haven’t done no power with memories.

I think I might have tried something like that previously in Big Hero 6 but I’ve put myself off of that fandom, unfortunately, and it wasn’t very good to begin with…

Because here’s the thing. In a new world where she has the memories but none of the powers, then that really brings the validity of the memories into question. If she could just randomly manifest lightning in her hand, that’s close enough to proof for the rest of the odd things in her life. But if she only has the memories and no way to prove it than what is inside her own mind, then there’s no way to tell if maybe it’s all just a delusion.

… which perhaps means it’s an Inception fic?

Hrm… but unless she encounters the characters, there’s not much point in her being in Inception given that it’s basically “the real world” but with mental espionage. And considering that, the memories themselves would give her powers as related to everyone else because she would have the best security ever if not also thorough forges or intricately physics-breaking architecture.

Ah, shit, that actually sounds pretty cool though.

So perhaps the fill to your prompt would be the “prologue” to this Inception Viridescent: like, Tetsuki is born in a “normal world” to awful parents who are, perhaps, so similar to her original, awful parents that it puts the rest of her memories into doubt. Maybe there never were any reincarnations or any fantastic powers, maybe it was just a desperate, over imaginative dream of a girl in a terrible situation.

Maybe she tries to run, tries to go to Namimori only to find it doesn’t exist. Maybe her grandmother was actually named Hisae Kaiza, but she passed long ago and certainly wasn’t a calligraphy/magic teacher. Gotham may very well exist, but there’s nothing on the level of the superheroes she knows (Nolan'verse Batman might very well be a real thing, given all of it is ~science~ and, possibly, Ra’s al Ghul’s “immortality” is him doing a pre-PASIV mind restructuring such that his consciousness gets passed onto a newer, younger body).

As far as she can find, none of her memories are real, and yet… she’d rather try to scrape out an existence out there, which may never be as good as the lives she remembers, than go back home which she knows for certain is worse.

And then maybe it gets worse. Maybe she is snatched–this is an awful world, but a lone teenage runaway who thinks she’s more powerful than she actually is will not survive long–and gets experimented on (there’s a new technology and different countries/companies are eager to be the first ones to crack it). She’s a fascinating subject, but hard to break, and so  they get her addicted to Somnacin thinking that will let them control her.

Maybe she escapes anyway, learns of extraction (and inception), of weaponizing dreaming and imagination, and turns her weakness into her strength.

I’m not saying she eventually ends up as Saito’s on-call secret keeper (extractors learn to fear the shadow of this mogul, the one whose mind can’t be broken into) but that is one way of getting her to interact with the characters. Maybe instead of him being “the tourist” it’s her.

Or maybe she’s just another professional dreamer in the world of Inception, dreaming of worlds and lives that probably don’t exist.

~

Check out the Ask Box Advent Calendar!

[darkstrangevirgilanxiboi]

Notes From Someone Who Grew Up With An Autistic Brother

My brother is autistic. And if you've never met anyone with autism , you might be misinformed about how autistic people are. My brother is NOT: * Stupid * Unwilling to learn * Misbehaved * A 'forever child ' My brother is a smart MAN. He's gonna be 22(?!?! I'm crying he's so big now I'm so proud ?) next week on the 13th . Anyway here's some things I want you to know about my brother Josh , his autism , AND HOW IT DOES NOT ALL MAKE HIM A BURDEN OR A PROBLEM OR ANY LESS OF A GREAT PERSON ( if you don't like my brother or autistic folks , fight me ) ( FIGHT ME, I MEAN IT, I'LL SWING ON YA RIGHT NOW DENISE) - Firstly ya gotta know autism is a spectrum and it affects everyone differently so this isn't a go-to post for every autistic person / curious person - Second , autism affects social skills. People with autism are more likely to have social anxiety, have speech impediments , and tend to function poorly in crowds . But!!! If you work really hard to become friends with someone with autism ? They're probably gonna love you for life? My brother is shy as hell but if you are patient and are nice to him and listen to him when he talks he's gonna respect you so much? People tend to interrupt my brother, he stutters a lot when he talks and repeats himself. But if you show enough respect and let him say what he needs to , he'll like that. And once you're friends ? He info dumps so much on you that you forget he's a shy mess in public .( get him going about Power Rangers and he's absolutely adorable he gets so detailed and so pumped ! ) Honestly just be nice enough to spend quiet time getting to know what they like and what makes them comfortable and they'll warm up to you. I remember the first conversation I ever had with my brother was about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was like five? He was four. Until that day he didn't really talk to me. But it was rainy that morning , mom was still asleep and dad was at work . Josh was in his room watching the show when I wandered in with my cereal bowl in hand. He glanced at me , and quietly goes " Wanna watch ? It's funny! There's a real smart guy who I think you'll like. " And so, I sit down and a few minutes later I'm listening to my brother gush over characters and plot and bad guys and at one point he hugged me and said " Thanks for listenin', mom and dad don't" And from that day on , I tried harder to get to know my brother. He's a sweetheart who loves unusual trivia , mysteries, animals ( no really he's got books on animal trivia ) and watches everything from historical documentaries to fan theories on his favorite shows. HE INTRODUCED ME TO BLEACH, HE GOT ME INTO ANIME YOU GUYS Honestly I've bonded so much with him over shows and characters and I've learned a lot about him by watching his reactions over the years. I have a lot of feelings about Dragon Ball Z and the Ninja Turtles because those two shows were what my brother and I first watched together , and we had such deep chats during commercials . My brother relates to Michelangelo and Raphael the most because he says ' I get Raph, you know? He doesn't know how to ....how to say....how to feel out loud, right? He doesn't know the rules to feelings. And Mikey's lonely because he just wants people to like him for himself but it's hard because the world sees him as wrong even though it's not his fault and he didn't want to be different. I feel like that because people... People look at me like they want me to be this one thing , and I can't be , so they're mad and disappointed. I'm not normal to them , but I...I mean ? I'm normal for me! This is my normal, and everyone is normal in a special way. " During Dragon Ball Z, he suddenly goes : " Do ...do you think people would ... You think if they could see the world the way I do....you think they'd pick having autism? I know everyone without it thinks it's bad, but ... But sometimes I like being autistic. I like the way I notice background noise , or the details on someone's face, or all the ways something feels. I dunno I think maybe I get to know the world a lot better ? " - Emotional difficulty. My brother has trouble expressing and reading emotions , that's true. But he understands them. And he taught me a lot of lessons. My brother gets angry with himself a lot because he can't communicate what he needs, but he tries super hard not to hurt anyone with his anger. He'll throw a tantrum in his room , but he avoids other people until he's calm enough not to just blindly lash out. And when he'd bicker with my sister , and things got physical ( like siblings fights do ) he was always very careful not to hit her. Sometimes he'd lightly slap her arm or hand if she hit him , but he didn't raise a fist to her. And he'd just let her work out her anger and then hug her when she was done. ' I know you weren't upset at me and it's okay to be upset , but don't hurt anyone when you're upset anymore , you don't think right when you're mad. ' - Hyper focusing is a thing and sometimes it's no fun to deal with. Tv portrays it as cute hobbies or interests but it's also times when my brother couldn't sleep because the number of tree branches outside his window changed. It's my brother not being able to relax unless his collection of comfort toys are all on his bed. It's my brother breaking down in tears because his lucky childhood lion stuffed animal was falling apart and he was convinced he wasn't going to have any more good days in his life. ( my grandma mended it it's ok) My brother binges shows all day and doesn't remember to eat sometimes. Hyperfocusing can be cutesy but it can also be very serious . - Hyper Sensitivity is weird because some days ? My brother is fine and doesn't care what he wears or what he eats. But other days he won't wear anything too scratchy , or he won't eat anything too crunchy , or he won't leave the house because the wind is too much. I'm used to it , but to my childhood neighbours my brother seems eccentric and bizarre . - Physical Affection ALWAYS. ASK.FIRST.WITH.AUTISTIC.PEOPLE. I never hug my brother unless I ask him first or he initiates it. If I hugged him without permission , he'd get a panic attack and freeze up. He just doesn't like surprise touch. But once he lets you hug him ? It's the best! He gives such affectionate hugs and honestly for a minute in his arms my depression is cured. Just ask first to grab their hand or tap their shoulder or pat their head. It gives them more control over their environment and it shows you respect them. - Don't try to correct their stims or coping mechanisms. SERIOUSLY I'VE SEEN PEOPLE DO THIS SHIT TO MY BROTHER My brother wrings his hands together and makes noises to relive stress or work off extra energy, and he also talks to himself.( usually an ongoing role play in his head ) A lot of autistic people do things like this. It's called 'stimming'. I don't understand why running his fists against his forehead eases his anxiety when he's upset, but I don't tell him not to do it because that's how his brain tells him to calm down. If you take away their stimming, you take away their normal way of dealing with stress and emotions . Let them stim , maybe try to lessen the damage if it's a harmful stim ( biting fingers, pulling hairs, knocking head against things ) ,but let them stim! And!!! Stims!!! CHANGE!!!! My brother used to say things four times when he was upset because his nickname is four letters ( his full name is Joshua ) and the way he explained it was " if I hear why I'm mad four times it gives me four chances to settle down " He doesn't do that anymore. Now he just repeats the words " It's stupid , I'm stupid for being mad " until he calms down. In public his stimming is different - he'll twist a corner of his shirt in his hands or hum under his breath or nod a lot. When he's super anxious he paces endlessly and can't seem to move fast enough to please himself. Sometimes he'll just run through the house until he's calm. I've seen my own dad tell him not to pace ! It calms him down and it's not hurting anyone let him pace jfc -They don't always tell you but they listen My brother knows the rude things people say about him. He listens to people talking to try and learn how to talk better , and he hears . He hears the insults , the jokes. He knows the math teacher thinks he's a retard. He knows the other kids make fun of his stutter. He sat in the lunchroom and listened to those around him making fun of him. He KNOWS. And he avoids being friends with anyone who'd mock him while he was a mere fifteen feet away. Anyway please be kind to autistic people and their families . But also be looking out for autistic people who don't have good families,whose families are ashamed of their autism.

[lentils-writes]

Day 5: Pacific Rim AU

(well, this isn’t short at ALL, I’m sorry)

The LA Shatterdome is pretty new - it’s only been there for about a year, but so far it has two Jaegers (Sigma Hyperion and Corsair Atlas) and there’s talk of adding a third soon. It’s not Kara’s first choice of assignment, but apparently they need a physical trainer with Marines-level experience to work with the Rangers. So she takes the job and shows up at the Shatterdome on her first day, ready to go.

One of the LOCCENT controllers, Bobbi Morse, greets her. “Sergeant Palamas, good to see you,” she says, offering her hand. “I hope the trip here was satisfactory.”

“Fine,” says Kara. “Where to first?”

“This way. We’ll take you through the Shatterdome proper and show you the training room.” Morse leads her through the giant warehouse-style part of the building that houses the enormous Jaegers. They’re so big that Kara has to crane her neck and she still can’t see their heads. “That’s Sigma,” says Morse, pointing at a matte black Jaeger with a sleek design and an eagle-shaped decal on it, “and that’s Corsair.” Corsair is a deep shade of purple and looks like a linebacker.

Kara blinks up at them. “They’re...impressive,” she says. It’s an understatement, but anything would be.

Morse grins at her. “Would you believe me if I said you get used to it? Or at least, I do. We’ve only had a few missions so far, but it’s way better watching them in action. ‘Course, you’ll be working more closely with their pilots.” She gestures for Kara to follow her into the hallway at the other end of the room.

The training room is nice, with plenty of space for a couple dozen people to train comfortably. Kara glances around and nods approvingly. “What style are they used to?”

“I know Ranger May and Ranger Hartley were in the program together, they’re well-versed in kempo. Ranger Coulson I’m not sure of, he might have a mix of styles, and Hunter…” Morse pauses and shakes her head. “Full disclosure, Sergeant, Ranger Hunter is brilliant in a Jaeger, but he’s also lazy as hell.”

Kara snorts. “Sounds like the two of you have a history.”

“Ex-husband,” clarifies Morse, rolling her eyes. “If you hear him mentioning a demon or a she-beast, he probably means me. I’m perfectly capable of professional cordiality, but he on the other hand…”

“Noted,” says Kara, grinning. “I’ll push him. Anything else I should know about any of them?”

“May does yoga every morning at some ridiculous hour, so she’ll take pretty much anything you throw at her. They might have you work with the Strike Troopers too, they handle a lot of the on-the-ground stuff when Kaijus show up. Triplett and Johnson are the squad leaders, and they’ll have the best intel on what works for their squads.”

Kara nods. “Alright.”

She doesn’t actually meet the Rangers until lunchtime, when Morse herds her toward a table where four people are chatting amongst themselves. “Hey,” says Morse, “this is your new trainer, Sergeant Kara Palamas. Be nice.” Then she turns to go.

Kara glances after her, then sits down and gives the group a shaky smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” says the white middle-aged balding man who offers a hand. “I’m Phil Coulson. Nice to meet you, Sergeant. Mel and I pilot Sigma Hyperion.”

One of the women, white with a bob cut, nods at her. “Isabelle Hartley.”

The other man, slightly younger than Coulson and with a neatly trimmed goatee, smirks. “Lance Hunter, at your service.”

The last woman, Asian with long dark hair, rolls her eyes at Hunter and then says “Melinda May.”

Kara nods, taking note of all the names. “So,” she says, feeling a little awkward. “Morse said we would probably be starting your training regiment tomorrow morning. You should know a little about me in the meantime. I grew up in the Chicago area, four point oh, all that jazz. I’ve been in the Marines for three years, stationed at Quantico before I was transferred here. I’ve trained in mixed martial arts and a variety of self-defense styles. Any questions?”

“Yeah, just one. Are you seeing anyone?” Hunter asks.

Isabelle elbows him roughly enough that he drops his forkful of potatoes. “Do you think you could keep your stupid questions to yourself for five minutes?”

Hunter pouts, but Kara just snorts and rolls her eyes. “I’m not, but you’re not my type.”

“You sure?”

“Presuming you’re a guy, yes,” replies Kara, enjoying the look of shock that flashes across his face. “I guarantee you are not the magical dude that will turn my lesbian self straight.”

She takes a sip of her water. The smirk on Melinda’s face is somehow the most satisfying part of the moment.

---

Kara gets used to her new routine. Every morning she’s up with just enough time to grab a bagel or some toast on the way out the door, arriving at the Shatterdome in time for an eight AM training session with the Rangers. Then she has another, less intensive training session in the afternoon with the Strike Troopers. May, Hartley, and Coulson work hard every morning, and Hunter...well, Kara nudges him and he eventually cooperates. He’s physically adept, but seems to prefer not doing work when possible. Kara’s working on it.

May’s great to spar with, though. She’s a little older than Kara and was in the Navy for a decade before starting the Jaeger program in its earliest years. This is her second Jaeger, after her first partner was killed during a mission in Hong Kong. Kara pieces these bits of information together through idle things that Melinda says, and then through some casual questions she asks Hartley.

“Her husband Andrew was her first partner,” Hartley tells Kara in the locker room one day after training. “She took it pretty hard. But she and Phil are incredible together. Hunter and I are pretty good, but they’re like next level.”

Kara wrinkles her nose. “So...are they…?” She can’t quite bring herself to finish the sentence.

Hartley laughs. “Fucking? No. I think sometimes Phil would like that, but I haven’t seen Mel date anyone since we all got here. She is into girls though, if you’re interested.” Hartley winks. “I am too, but I think my wife would have something to say about it if I said any more.”

Kara colors slightly. “I wasn’t- I-” She coughs. “I have to go report to Morse, excuse me.” Hartley’s laugh follows her out of the room.

Melinda doesn’t talk often, but she seems not to mind Kara’s company. Sometimes she’ll even opt to sit next to Kara in the mess hall. Kara doesn’t want to push anything, but she smiles at Melinda when she gets the chance. Once she gets daring and swipes an extra beer for Melinda, who smiles and says “Thanks.”

(As they’re all leaving the mess hall afterwards, Isabelle nudges Kara. “Nice one,” she mutters into her ear, grinning. “You’re really on her good side now.)

Kara almost forgets why they’re all there. Kaiju don’t seem like such a big concern when Melinda has such a nice smile.

Which means it’s all the more jarring when she’s awoken by a kaiju alert on her phone at four AM.

The alert directs all civilians to the nearest shelters, and all PPDC affiliates to the Shatterdome immediately. Kara throws on clothes in a heartbeat and, luckily, manages to snag a taxi and arrive within half an hour.

The Shatterdome is chaos. People are running everywhere and the alarm is going off nonstop. Kara’s unsure what to do, but then Morse dashes by her and says “C’mon, into the control room with me, you’ll be out of the way” and Kara follows.

Morse takes her place and immediately goes into work mode, ignoring Kara. That’s fine, Kara expected that. She just watches and listens - the Kaiju is a Category III and, since it looks vaguely serpentine, Morse christens it Hydra. Both Sigma and Corsair are being sent out to deal with it. The Strike Troopers have already been deployed, and the Jumphawk pilots are getting ready to take off with the two Jaegers. Kara scarcely knows where to look. She focuses on breathing.

She can barely see the four Rangers entering the Jaegers, tiny shiny figures in their drivesuits. Her heart’s beating fast enough that she can hear it - maybe everyone else in the room can too. She got four hours of sleep, but she’s so wired she feels like she might never sleep again.

Sigma and Corsair get dropped in the middle of the Pacific, a mile or so from Hydra. It feels like the entire room holds its breath as the Jaegers walk toward the kaiju. This is their third outing together, and by this point the teams work almost seamlessly together. Corsair, as the bulkier Jaeger, goes first to basically act as the battering ram. Sigma is smaller, lighter, and a little faster, so she hangs back to act as reserves.

Isabelle was right. Phil and Melinda’s Jaeger moves effortlessly, despite the waves pushing back against it and the inherent clunkiness of a giant metal mecha. Kara’s seen tapes of other Jaegers, of course (who hasn’t) but she’s captivated.

Then they reach the monster.

Its long neck strikes out, aiming for Corsair’s head, but the Jaeger intercepts it with an enormous fist that sends the kaiju reeling. Enraged, it opens its mouth to roar and lunges - which is when Sigma comes in from the side. The kaiju has the advantage of limberness, but the Jaegers outnumber it. Sigma’s palm, equipped with gamma blasts, fires at Hydra, mostly missing it but leaving parts of its skin scorched.

For awhile it seems like the Jaegers have it under control. Then, suddenly, Hydra whips its head around and smacks directly into Corsair, which slowly, horribly tips backwards into the ocean.

“Fuck!” hisses Morse. “Rescue boats, get out there! Get them out! Now!”

She keeps shouting orders to Sigma, since Hydra is still fighting, but Kara barely hears her over the roaring in her ears. She’s terrified equally for Melinda and Phil and Isabelle and Hunter. But Melinda...oh god, Melinda…

She could turn and walk out of the control room, hide somewhere until all this was over, but she forces herself to stay and watch. Hydra is trying to get behind Sigma and knock it over the way it knocked over Corsair, and none of the screens show what’s happening with the rescue teams. Morse calls, “Chain! Use the chain!”

Kara has no idea what she’s talking about, but then a giant chain slips from somewhere under the mecha’s exoskeleton and Sigma’s using it to wrap around Hydra’s throat and choke it out. Then it’s all over.

There’s a cheer in the control room, but it’s subdued. Morse gets on the radio to contact the rescue boats. They managed to retrieve both Hunter and Hartley, who are still alive, but Hartley’s arm was crushed and Hunter’s barely breathing. Meanwhile, Phil and Melinda check in, exhausted but okay. Morse deploys another Jumphawk team to retrieve them.

Technically, everyone can leave once the kaiju threat’s been dealt with, but no one wants to until they hear for sure about Hartley and Hunter. It’s a tense couple of hours until they know anything, during which Phil and Melinda return to the Shatterdome and are greeted with half-hearted high fives rather than the typical jubilation. They don’t seem to mind, though - they both look haunted.

Kara pushes through the crowd to get to them (just to check in physically, she tells herself). She’s prepared to say something professional - “good work,” maybe, or “are either of you hurt?” Instead, she starts to say something, chokes, and sort of falls against Melinda in the world’s most unplanned embrace.

After half a second to absorb how nice Melinda feels against her, she freezes. “Shit,” she mutters, quickly letting go. “I’m, I’m so sorry, May, I-”

She’s unprepared for the feeling of Melinda throwing her arms around her. “Don’t apologize,” murmurs Melinda. “Don’t you dare apologize, Kara.”

Kara swallows what’s suddenly a huge lump in her throat and clings just as tightly to Melinda as Melinda’s clinging to her.

---

The doctors have to amputate Hartley’s arm, which she’s remarkably relaxed about. Kara and the others are able to see her relatively soon after her surgery, once she’s conscious. “At least it was the left one,” Hartley says with a lopsided shrug. “I need the other one for...important things.” She smirks at her wife, Victoria, who rushed over as soon as the shelters were opened.

“You’ll be too busy resting to do any of those things,” scolds Victoria. “I’m not letting you out of bed for weeks.”

“Ooh, sounds hot,” teases Hartley.

Melinda rolls her eyes. “Well, I see you didn’t lose your sense of innuendo.”

“Oh, you like it when she does it,” grunts Hunter. He’s still laid up too, since quite a bit of water got into his lungs and they want to be sure his breathing stays consistent.

Melinda ignores him. “You both scared us.”

“Yeah, we had no idea you went down at first,” Phil says. “We just focused on beating the bastard as quickly as we could.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hunter says, but he’s smiling. “Taking all the credit when we’re the true heroes here. Izzy left a piece of herself in the ocean, for Christ’s sake!”

“How about all of you are heroes,” Kara says with a snort.

“Agreed,” says Melinda, giving her a smile, which makes Kara’s chest do something funny.

“Anyway,” Phil says, “we should probably let the two of you rest, huh?”

“I’m fine,” Isabelle says, but her eyelids are drooping.

“Go on,” says Victoria, resting her hand on Isabelle’s shoulder. “I’ll keep an eye on them. You three have been here since the attack, you should go eat.”

Suddenly, Kara’s stomach reminds her that she hasn’t eaten in hours. “Oh,” she says, almost absently. “We should eat, yeah.”

“C’mon,” says Phil. “I hear they’re keeping the mess hall open longer to celebrate. I mean, it’ll be the same slop it always is, but maybe they’ll give us an extra helping.”

He walks ahead of them, and once he’s not looking, Melinda brushes her hand gently against Kara’s before grabbing it. Kara feels her face get hot, which is ridiculous - what is she, a teenager? But she turns to smile at Melinda all the same, and Melinda smiles back.

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

Puck Daddy’s Stanley Cup Playoffs Round 3 predictions

  The NHL’s 2017 Stanley Cup Playoffs have reached their final four teams, as the Pittsburgh Penguins face the Ottawa Senators in the Eastern Conference Final and the Anaheim Ducks take on the Nashville Predators in the Western Conference Final.

So who advances to the Stanley Cup Final? And which players are the leaders for MVP?

Puck Daddy presents its 2017 Stanley Cup Playoffs prognostications for Round 3, featuring editors Greg Wyshynski, Sean Leahy, Jen Neale and Josh Cooper; columnist Ryan Lambert; staff writer Justin Cuthbert; and fantasy writer Steve Laidlaw of Dobber Hockey.

Here are the first-round picks. Here are the second-round picks.

Here’s how we see these series shaking out:

The standings after the opening round:

Justin Cuthbert (8-4)

Greg Wyshynski (8-4)

Jen Neale (7-5)

Josh Cooper (6-6)

Steve Laidlaw (6-6)

Sean Leahy (6-6)

Ryan Lambert (5-7)

Kudos to Josh Cooper and Steve Laidlaw for picking the Senators in six, and Wyshynski and Cooper for taking Ducks in seven.

Greg Wyshynski, Puck Daddy Editor

Penguins in 6

Pittsburgh just overcame the toughest opponent they’ll face in the postseason, and did so exhibiting a champion’s poise. They’ll need that poise as Ottawa tries to frustrate them with Guy Boucher’s 1-3-1 trap. And although the Penguins were 1-2-0 against Ottawa in the regular season – their lone win was a weird 8-5 victory in December – we’ll assume coach Mike Sullivan can overcome the defense with controlled, smart dump-ins.

Marc-Andre Fleury has made me a believer, while Craig Anderson is a little too inconsistent. While it’s going to be an absolute joy to watch Erik Karlsson in this series, he won’t be enough to overcome Sid and Geno and Phil.

Predators in 6

This is a really fascinating series, but the pick here is Nashville for a couple of reasons.

The first is a wager that Pekka Rinne keeps this thing going behind the best defense corps of the playoffs. The second is a wager that if the Kesler line neutralizes the Forsberg line, the Predators have enough secondary scoring (including from those aforementioned defensemen) to compensate. The third is a wager that John Gibson flubs at least two games in the series. The fourth is that Ryan Getzlaf alone can’t will the Ducks to victory here, but you know he’s going to damn well try.

Conn Smythe Watch

Ryan Getzlaf, Anaheim Ducks

Erik Karlsson, Ottawa Senators

Pekka Rinne, Nashville Predators

Getzlaf has 15 points in 11 games and is averaging 23 minutes and 54 seconds time on ice. Karlsson is right there too, but I’m giving the nod to the pulsating vein.

Sean Leahy, Editor

Penguins in 5

Yeah, they’re banged up and seemingly lose a body on a nightly basis, but they’re still the more talented team in this series and Marc-Andre Fleury hasn’t turned into 2010-2013 playoff Marc-Andre Fleury. He’s been tremendous in what’s likely his final run with this team. The Senators have been carried by Erik Karlsson’s outstanding play, and unless he’s going to play 50 minutes a night this series, I don’t see how Pittsburgh doesn’t overwhelm Ottawa when he’s not on the ice.

Predators in 6

Predators don’t score a ton, but they make the most out of their chances. And they’ve dominated thus far due to an incredibly balanced offense, with goals coming not just from their star forwards but also their blue line. Pekka Rinne wasn’t otherworldly in Round 2 like he was against the Blackhawks, but he was still very good versus the Blues. Getzlaf, Silfverberg and Rakell have provided a big chunk of goals for Anaheim so far, but Nashville’s defensive abilities will mean the Ducks’ depth will have to step up, and potentially not having Patrick Eaves could be a big missing piece.

Conn Smythe Watch

Erik Karlsson, Ottawa Senators

Pekka Rinne, Nashville Predators

Ryan Getzlaf, Anaheim Ducks

Karlsson means so much to the Senators that they’re a different team when he’s off the ice. The Predators and Ducks have been able to manage when Rinne has an off-game or Getzlaf is slowed by opponents. For the Senators, they need Karlsson to be elite every time he’s out there, and so far he’s shown just how valuable he is to that team.

Jen Neale, Editor

Penguins in 5

The Senators have a lot of pieces that could be good, but the supporting cast around them aren’t there yet. They’ve been really fortunate that their previous two opponents wilted under the spotlight. Erik Karlsson on one foot is better than most of the Pittsburgh on two; yet, you have to wonder just how much more those fractures in his foot can take. The Penguins are fast. He’s going to be skating more and harder than he has so far in the playoffs.

I think the most difficult task for the Penguins is behind them. They beat the Washington Capitals in what was supposed to be the Caps year (for real this time). They beat the Caps without Crosby in the lineup. They beat the Caps when Crosby had his brains rattled (again). Dropping a 3-1 series lead to force a Game 7 isn’t ideal, but considering that Marc-Andre Fleury didn’t meltdown in the final game is a really, really good sign.

I am looking forward to the of animosity in this series. Sidney Crosby hacked off part of Marc Method’s finger. MVP Chris Neil will have something to say about that, and it will end up with him getting a game misconduct.

Predators in 7

This series feels really even. To me, it comes down to defense and goaltending.

The defensive groups are solid for both squads. The Preds have the edge in that they’re a bit older and seasoned in the playoffs. The Ducks may or may not get Kevin Bieksa back during the series. That does give the group some experience and another tough guy. He wasn’t terrible before he went out of the lineup with an injury. The question is if Carlyle wants to change what’s working or not. Peter Laviolette likes to ride his Top 4 and in a physical series that could wear them down.  Both team’s defenses have contributed 27 points in scoring. For Nashville, the points are concentrated over four defensemen while Anaheim has seven blueliners with points.

As for the goalies, can Pekka Rinne continue on this ridiculous roll, and not regress as he had in the playoffs before? Or will John Gibson continue to give up the leaky goal or three per game? Rinne has the best goals-against (1.37) and best save-percentage (.951) among all eight playoff netminders who have played at least 420 minutes. Gibson is the worst in both categories: 2.80 GAA and .908 SV%.

Conn Smythe Watch

Chris Neil

Pekka Rinne

Ryan Getzlaf

I believe everything the Canadian media tells me. They tell me Chris Neil and his nearly five minutes total time on ice in two games is the real reason the Ottawa Senators are moving on to the next round. He has zero points and 12 penalty minutes. Some players could only dream of those numbers. How could I give this award to anyone else?

As for the also-rans, it appears that Pekka Rinne has channeled his former Vezina nominee self at 34-years-old. He leads the eight top minute playing goaltender in pretty much every category. Rinne has a .951 save-percentage and 1.37 goals against, and he’s allowed a playoff low 14 goals against. To top it off, he’s got three points.

Ryan Getzlaf has received criticism in recent playoff years, and rightfully so, for disappearing on the ice. Through 11 games, the Ducks captain is third in playoff scoring with 15 points and second in goals at 8. For the first time, in a loooong time, Getzlaf is shooting first and passing second (most of the time) and the team is benefitting from it.

Josh Cooper, Editor 

Penguins in 5

The Senators have gone on a nice run, but the Penguins are probably the best team left in the playoffs. Ottawa’s defense-first strategy may have worked against the Boston Bruins and New York Rangers, but Pittsburgh has the right weapons to break through the Senators. Erik Karlsson has certainly pushed the Sens as far as possible with 13 points in 12 games, but one has to wonder how much longer he can keep up this type of play on one leg.

The Penguins also have health issues of their own, but not enough to lose this series against the Senators. Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Phil Kessel are just too much firepower for Ottawa to handle.

Predators in 7

Personally, I think the Ducks have more balance up and down their lineup than the Predators, but Nashville’s playing with confidence, swagger and structure. After their first-round sweep of the Chicago Blackhawks there’s a sense they believe they can beat anyone and that goes a long way this time of year. Pekka Rinne’s goaltending has been brilliant and they’re getting major contributions from defensemen Ryan Ellis and Roman Josi and the first line of Ryan Johansen, Filip Forsberg and Viktor Arvidsson.

Also, the schedule gave no down time for the Ducks, which could play a big role this round. After an emotional seven-game series against the Edmonton Oilers they had just one day off and have to play every other day against the Predators. Nashville comes into this series rested and prepared for the task at hand after their previous series against the St. Louis Blues ended last Sunday in Game 6. The Ducks are a veteran group and you have to wonder how much they have left in the tank.

There is somewhat of a revenge factor for the Ducks because of their loss last year to Nashville in the postseason, but that’s not enough to give them an edge

Conn Smythe Watch

Pekka Rinne

Erik Karlsson

Evgeni Malkin

Rinne has been the backbone of the Predators this playoff run with a 1.37 goal-against average and .951 save percentage. They wouldn’t be where they are without his sterling performance in the team’s first-round win over the Chicago Blackhawks. Karlsson has gotten the Senators further than anyone expected with 13 points in 12 games – pretty much while playing on one leg. Malkin has been tremendous in leading the postseason with 18 points.

Ryan Lambert, Columnist

Penguins in 5

Look, the mitigating circumstances with Ottawa’s opponents are clear: The Bruins were playing an AHL blue line, and no one could stop Alain Vigneault from playing his worst possible defensemen in every key situation. A healthy Bruins club beats the Senators. A good coaching job from the Rangers beats the Senators.

Do the Penguins have weaknesses? Obviously. But they also have depth that the Senators simply do not. There are a handful of good players on the Ottawa bench but that team is flat-out bad when Erik Karlsson comes off the ice. You can’t white-knuckle your way past both Crosby and Malkin like they did in the first two rounds when the Bruins’ and Rangers’ top lines were off the ice.

On paper, this looks like it ends just like the opening series against Columbus, with the Penguins vaporizing a dramatically inferior team. Of course, Chris Neil will probably try to decapitate Sidney Crosby in Game 1, so y’know.

Predators in 6

The Ducks are playing better than they really have any right to, and they have a very good D corps 1-6. Of course, Nashville has a great ‘D’ corps 1-6, and their top two lines have a lot more pop than whatever Anaheim’s going to throw over the boards.

I’m not sold on either goaltender but obviously Pekka Rinne is having a better postseason than John Gibson. Nashville also has a bit of an edge behind the bench, you have to say. Anaheim benefited significantly from playing out of the Pacific.

With the way both these teams are playing, I honestly couldn’t understand anyone picking against Nashville. They have a significant edge.

Conn Smythe Watch

Erik Karlsson

Pekka Rinne

Evgeni Malkin

At this point I would have a hard time voting against Karlsson during the Final, even when the Sens get eliminated in this round. He’s been that important to their success. Rinne has obviously been great with a .951 save percentage, leading all goalies this postseason, behind that phenomenal blue line. And Malkin has 18 points in 11 games, to lead the postseason. So there ya go. Not hard.

Justin Cuthbert, Yahoo Canada Writer

Penguins in 7

I can’t seem to shake the feeling that the Penguins are susceptible right now, however much it may belie their staunch defensive effort in Game 7 versus the Capitals. That said, I don’t quite have enough confidence in the Sens to take advantage of a Penguins team who, after last year’s Stanley Cup march, have to be close to spent.

Ottawa has not been the consistently sound defensive team that it was throughout the regular season, and, at times in these playoffs, has been dragged back into the track-meet style that Guy Boucher worked all season to scrub from the memories of his players. The Senators used up a lot of magic to escape precarious spots they found themselves in versus the Rangers. It’ll be much more difficult to do versus Pittsburgh.

Ducks in 7

This one’s tough. While John Gibson and Pekka Rinne, two brilliant-or-bust netminders, will ultimately decide this series, predicting which will outshine the other is really anyone’s guess.

Nashville’s backend has the edge in a series that features two enormously talented defensive corps (and, not incidentally, the ones at the highest risk to lose a blue-line talent in the expansion draft), but I think the greatest matchup discrepancy exists down the middle of the ice. Ryan Getzlaf and Ryan Kesler were outstanding against two talented sets of forwards in Rounds 1 and 2, as Randy Carlyle remained dogged with his matchups. If the goaltending is a wash, those two will be the difference.

Conn Smythe Watch

Erik Karlsson

Pekka Rinne

Ryan Getzlaf

Nashville might be the eighth seed, but Ottawa’s the outlier in the conference finals. Erik Karlsson’s impact, circumstances notwithstanding, has been remarkable.

Steve Laidlaw, Fantasy Columnist

Penguins in 6

One side of the Eastern bracket was simply stacked better than the other. This shouldn’t be a contest. Anything can happen in the playoffs but even an injury-depleted Penguins defense should slow the Sens.

Predators in 6

This should be an even matchup but it just seems like the Predators have everything rolling at the right time. They play with the sort of pace that the Ducks had fits with against the Oilers but are even better at it. The Preds also might be the only team with a better set of defensemen than the Ducks.

Conn Smythe Watch

Erik Karlsson

Ryan Getzlaf

Evgeni Malkin

Karlsson is a worthy candidate since we can’t vote for Drew Doughty.

Getzlaf was like a fat kid on the teeter-totter, with how he tilted the ice against the Oilers. Their ‘D’ were no match for his bruising puck-possession style. There was nothing scarier in that seven-game series than Getzlaf working with the puck in the corner waiting for someone to cut into an opening while Oilers defensemen chased the play, not even Connor McDavid with a sliver of daylight was that dangerous and we’re talking about the likely MVP.

Malkin … I looked at the list of playoff scorers, picked the one on top.

—

Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

MORE FROM YAHOO SPORTS

[kahnac]

Hello, Good Evening, and welcome to another "Kahnac's Top Countdown" list. This time we'll go into a certain category i'm pretty much a big fan of. Though first, i'd like to give a big shoutout to japanesegodzilla1954 who was once again kind enough to assemble the list up above. And especially for being so creative while doing so. I really appreciate it, and i'm glad he did it. And now, back to the subject of the countdown. "What subject" you might ask? Well, the answer is quite simple, actually: Villains. Now, as i'm sure it's no surprise to anyone who watches me: i absolutely love villains. Like many people who do the same, i find the villains to be alot more fun than the heroes (not that i would diss them in any way). But there's actually quite alot to villains that make them so appealing, and enjoyable to watch. And trust me: i have a large list of villains who i enjoy. But i think one of the most amusing, and enjoyable brand of villain is the kaiju villain. Though there haven't truly been many kaiju who would qualify as villains because of their animalistic nature, with a few exceptions. But if there is one place where there could be legitimately evil kaiju: it is in the Godzilla Universe. For over 60 years, toho has delivered a slew of kaiju who are not simply a bunch of rampaging beasts who need someone to stop them from simply destroying cities because they're angry. These monsters are beings who are actually quite intelligent, and even quite despicable. They aren't animals who are bent on survival: they are beings who have agenda's of their own which range from conquering the entire world, to simply killing everything in sight because it's funny, or because they were made to. And though some of them have served as pawns to some lesser alien species, that hasn't stopped them from being completely vile, and destructive. Because on their own: these kaiju would cause trouble just so they can. They do their best to give their worst. And i'm here to honor some of them today. So sit back, relax, and have fun as we take a look at my Top 10 Godzilla villains. 10. Megaguirus: Starting off our list is none other than the fearsome queen of them Meganula herselfNow here's one very nasty example of what a crazy mom is. As a product of the ancient past brought to the present thanks to the Dimension Tide, Megaguirus was basically the ultimate means of returning the Meganula race as the dominant rulers of Earth. Though of course she had to go through some changes first. Said change involved creating a swarm, sending it to hunt down Godzilla, drain his energy, return back with it, then transfer it into her along with their own lifeforce energy. Thus changing her into the gigantic, speed-induced, queen of the Dragonflies. Which she really does live up to the name of, doesn't she? But anyway, any can see that her "children" are quite devoted to her in such regards. But she doesn't seem to give a single crap about that. Probably because she knows she can probably just grow a new colony at some point. What a horrible mother to have, that's for sure. But either way, she has also shown to be somewhat sadistic in her methods. Like dropping buildings on top of a grounded Godzilla with a sickly smile on her face, for example. And she also seems to be quite possessive when it comes to power. In both the movie, and the comics, almost immediately she stuck her stinger into two kaiju so that she could get some of their energy. But in ROE, she goes further, and tries to feed Godzilla to her swarm. Guess she also shares some qualities with Queen Chrysalis from MLP, doesn't she? Guess she isn't as heartless as she seems. But she definitely has a strong rivalry with Rodan's species, since both have been rival species since they were born. A shame we didn't get to see this outside of the Original Rodan movie with the Meganulon, and the several fanfic universe which expands upon the concept, like Neo, and Endgame. But either way, Megaguirus is a fast, furious, and all around vicious queen you'll wish to keep both eyes on at all times. If you can. 9. Mechagodzilla 1: Now, we get to delve a bit into the concept which usually comes about in every form of media: the evil doppleganger. And none seem to have pulled this off as dangerously as Mechagodzilla 1. While this super robot has been a mechanized pawn to a race of space apes trying to take over the world: M Bison-"OF COURSE!!!" But that didn't make Mechagodzilla any less brutal, or destructive when he first appeared. Hell, he even disguised as Godzilla himself to basically frame him as antagonistic again before he would kill him. He then proceeded to beat the crap out of poor Anguirus, and even break his jaw wide open. I get so creeped out from even thinking about it still. Anyway, what makes him truly threatening is just how powerful he is. On his own, and against singular kaiju, he has singlehandedly beaten everyone he's come across, including the great King Caesar, who is considered an equal to Godzilla in terms of strength, and power. So if he can take down someone that strong, you know he's dangerous. But he "surprisingly" doesn't do well when he gets double teamed. Especially when one of his oponnents gets the ability to control magnetism, which Goji used to rip off his mechanized head. Too bad Mecha G learned from the past experience, and was teamed up with Titanosaurus to prove that two can play the team up game. Sadly for him, it still didn't turn out well. But that still hasn't deterred people from liking him so much, and for him to become IDW's equivalent of the Sentinels from the X-Men. Because this mecha-double only proves that you can't keep a good robot down, and if you do, he'll just come back better, and stronger than ever. 8. Megalon: Now here, we have a perfect example of what a dangerous moron is. Now, in his debut, Megalon was depicted as the God of Seatopia, their greatest weapon, and their best hope at getting revenge upon humanity for what they perceived to be intended attacks on their city. And Megalon was more than willing to fill in the position. Unfortunately, there's just one small problem: HE'S A COMPLETE IDIOT, AND A SUPERIOR MORON! While we see he has a great pangent for destruction, he needs somebody to tell him where to point his destructive habits at. Otherwise he will literally start hopping around like a grasshopper, blowing up everything in sight. And honestly, this is pretty hilarious when you think about it. Because from what i saw of him, he has the mindset of a man-child. Kinda like Fat Buu, or even better yet: TFS Nappa. Which is obviously where tarbano got inspiration for his own interpretation from. Though he also mixed it in with some Deadpool, too. But that's not the point. What is is that he's also a pretty tough fighter, too. He can put up a good decent fight with other kaiju. Though when it comes to Godzilla, and Jet Jaguar, he obviously needs help. But considering how lethal his arsenal is, and how carried away he can get with what he does, it's honestly no wonder people see him as a complete demolisher. 7. Monster X: As sinister as he looks, Monster X is a veritable example of a final boss enemy. Even though he appears for a short while, he leaves a pretty good impression. Especially with how well he handles Godzilla up until the showdown with Keizer Ghidorah. From what i saw, Monster X appears to be a very focused, driven, and all around ruthless fighter who will use any means to win his battle. Guess that's why i imagine him as the Godzilla equivalent of Slade from Teen Titans. Especially with how sinister his armor is. In fact, it makes him look less like a kaiju, and more like one of those villains you'd see in Power Rangers, or a Sentai series. And to top it off: he has the power to transform into a second form called Keizer Ghidorah. Something which gives me a small Maleficent vibe when that happens. And i know many people like the idea of the two being separate entities sharing the same body ala Jekyll/Hyde. But personally, i like thinking that Keizer is just another form that X takes when he decides it's time to get serious. Basically like Frieza, or villains with another form. Either way, not much else is needed to be said other than how badass Monster X is. Even if his time was less than hoped for. 6. Orga: Attack of the clones part two, so to speak. Except this clone is a monstrous hybrid between Godzilla, and an ancient, alien lifeform with intelligence unlike anything humanity has seen before. Originally, he was an alien species known as a Millenian, who crash landed on earth, and got stranded for millions of years. Time passes, he gets waken up, and he immediately goes out to find a genetic template to give him a physical form. And it just so happens he picks Godzilla. Though apparently, Orga is not completely stupid, as after his first fight with him ends in a draw, he realizes he needs to learn everything he can about the Saurian. To do so, he basically begins hacking into Japans Databases, and starts stealing every shred of information he can gather. All also as part of a plan to make the earth a suitable home for himself, and possibly any more of his kind still out there. Or probably so he can create more of his kind to inhabit the earth. Either way, he still needs Godzilla's G-Cells to make it happen. And after a rematch which ends with Orga winning, he succeeds in regaining his true form. But he clearly didn't account for the radioactive properties of the G-Cells, and he ended up as a misshapen abomination as a result. But even in this state, he doesn't seem too far gone. I know alot of people consider him a mindless brute who basically goes feral after he mutates, but from where i stand, it looked like he was attempting to adjust to his new body. And it looked like he was doing a good job at it too, as he gave Godzilla as much trouble as he did in his ship. Which makes me believe that he still has his intelligence in tact, but he doesn't really use it when he's fighting. And considering many people also believe his species to be superb at genetic engineering, which i agree with, i'd also like to consider him the Shockwave of Godzilla if we were able to have more of him. After all, both of them basically turn into brutes if they get angry. Though Orga's biggest weakness seems to be his obsessive desire to get what he wants. To the extent that he'll through caution out the window, and charge into the frayhead first. Or at least when he gets desperate. After all, how else would he have done something which would give him a massive "stomach ache", if you know what i mean. But inspite of his little flaw, Orga is still a fearsome, and intelligent villain who knows that information is powerful, and that brute even brute strength can be even more so. 5. Gigan: And now we get to the lean, mean, sometimes green mother from outer space. And he's baaaad. Now Gigan here is a very special case because he's done what noone else has done before: he actually cut into Godzilla deep enough to make him bleed. And i mean "bleed". Gigan is the living definition of what a ruthless, vicious, and bloodthirsty mercenary/assassin is lie in the world of kaiju. He was designed by an alien race of gigantic cockroaches to basically kill anything threatening, and i imagine it's sometimes for a profit. The first time he came to earth, he was teamed up with King Ghidorah. And the two were so ferocious, they nearly brought down both Godzilla, AND Anguirus. Hell, Gigan even managed to beat up Godzilla for a good while without Ghidorah's help. But of course he got Godzilla angry. And we all know what happens when he gets angry. Either way, his second appearance had him join up with Megalon, who he seemed to be best buddies with when they double teamed Jet Jaguar. I can see why people like pegging them as brothers. Of course, not even their friendship was enough to beat Godzilla, and his robo-pal. Though it is funny how he seems to be kind of a coward when things go badly for him. And he'll actually ditch his "friends" so that he can save himself. But then, considering he got his arm broken once, i can't really fault him for that. Though what is funny is that he lost this little habit of his when he came back for Final Wars. Basically, he got upgraded to a "biker with machetes for arms", which is both a funny, and honestly creative description of him. But either way, this is the Gigan that begins to get more serious for his depictions. In fact, both this Gigan, and the original, were mixed together to make Gigan something both formidable, and amazing. True, he still ran away when things got ugly, but he scored more hits than misses. And besides, he's had to contend with some serious fighters: counting Godzilla, JJ, and even Spacegodzilla himself. Even though FW made him more robotic than he should've been, what with him getting his head blasted off then replaced, it was handled much better in Rulers of Earth: he starts off as Showa, but then gets upgraded to FW scythe, until he finally gets his chainsaws. At which point he helps to beat an alien invasion, fight Jet in an epic rematch, and then basically go up in a massive blaze of glory with the chance of his return in a possible continuation. Few can get as hardcore as Gigan is, just like few could ever really make the cut for his own tenacity. Because he is a monster. He is badass. He is: GIGAAAAAN!!! 4. Destoroyah: Oh, boy. Now we're getting to the biggun's of the Godzilla franchise. And very few can be as despicable as the Destoroyah himself. So what makes this guy so cool, but also vile? Quite a bit, actually: first of all, he is one of the more personal enemies because of how his origin ties into Godzilla's in the most unpleasant way: he was a collective of microscopic precambrian crustaceans laying dormant in Tokyo Bay for centuries, but got mutated by the Oxygen Destroyer when it was used to kill Gojira. Over 40 years alter, when Micro Oxygen is released, the creatures mutated again, and began fusing together until eventually they formed into Destoroyah himself. And he is a right nasty piece of work. He kills lots of people in all of his forms, and even kills Godzilla Jr for beating him in his second/third form. But that's not exactly the worst of it, because he did it in front of his father. Right in front of him as he was helpless to do anything. He probably sensed that it was Jr's father who was also there, and so he wanted to make both of them suffer because he could: Jr for basically beating him, and Senior for Sh*ts and giggles. Though all he does is incure Godzilla's wrath, because nobody f*cks with his family, and lives to tell about it. But the interesting thing is that Destoroyah is a friggin tank. He can take hits from Godzilla when he's in his strongest form, and he can beat the crap out of him in normal stage like he did in Rulers of Earth. And naturally, it takes several kaiju to tangle with him, and hopefully win. Especially since he's strong enough to toss kaiju several meters away, and he can take almost anything thrown at him short of Sub-Zero ice attacks. Though what makes him all the worse is the fact that when he fights someone, he doesn't just beat them into submission, or anything. He goes out of his way to make them hurt on the inside, as much as outside. And he is absolutely brutal in his methods, too, whether he tries cutting kaiju with his horn, beating them like a punching bag, or in Anguirus' case, try, and break every bone in their body.And all of this stems from the source of his mutation. It usually stands to reason that the thing that mutates something often influences them in ways they never knew before. And for Destoroyah, he was not only enfused with the power of the Oxygen Destroyer, but also what it was created to do as well: bring death, and destruction to every living thing. That....is an almost sad thing to think about, actually. Since the day he was changed, Destoroyah was made to be nothing mor than a harbinger of death, and to bring destruction, and misery to everything. And from what i've seen, he knows no other way to live. All he knows is death, and destruction. Therefore, all other concepts are probably alien to him. Which leaves him as the kind of villain who isn't interested in profit, or conquest, who can't be bought, bargained, or reasoned with: he's the kind who wants to watch the world burn. And if it weren't for Godzilla, and a few others, he may very well have succeeded. Even when he served under the Devonians for a while. For he is a force of destruction few would ever wish to cross, and would ever wish to face alone. Also because, like AVGN once said: HE LOOKS LIKE THE GDDAMN DEVIL!!! 3: Grand/King Ghidorah: Now comes the esteemed archenemy of Godzilla, and the often considered big bad of Toho as a whole. But first, let me be clear on something: I don't, by any means, like King Ghidorah as he was depicted in the Showa series. And the only reason for this is because of how, after his debut, he became nothing more than a simple pawn to a bunch of alien fools who couldn't hold a candle to him as villains. Maybe secondary villains, or even minions, but not main villains. Because of this, i feel like King Ghidorah's potential as a villain suffered greatly, as he didn't do anything on his own, and was only a mind controlled servant to who i consider lesser beings. But with that being said, i do still love his concept, and how he is depicted when he first appeared. When he first appeared, he was built up significantly, and his reveal was drawn out considerably well. Even when he spent a good deal in his meteor transport, you could feel the tension rising as he seemed to gather more power from the surrounding area, and add it to his own. Even adding a small mention of his supposed control over gravity itself, which we sadly don't really see outside of the one scene where he makes a gravity tornado that draws in rocks, and tree's, and other stuff. Also, his arrival was heralded by the essence of an alien species who came from Planet Venus itself: which once had the ability to sustain life like Earth. That is until HE arrived, and reduced the entire world to a lifeless husk: killing every living thing on the planets surface, making it so life could never prosper, and grow again. And this happened many centuries ago, leading to the obvious idea of King Ghidorah having existed for billions of years, or more. Either way, when he gathers enough os his energy, and then finally makes his appearance, it is absolutely spectacular: he emerges from his meteor crater like it were an egg, except for him emerging as an immense ball of fire. And like a Phoenix, or rather reverse of a Phoenix, when his flames rise into the sly, he forms into his golden, 3 headed state as if he were being born for the first time. Once he emerges, he gets right to work destroying the earth. It's only thanks to the combined strength of Mothra, Rodan, and Godzilla to drive him away. Showing that he's so strong that only a large number of kaiju can successfully fight him in battle. Otherwise, he would completely demolish his enemies with no real problem. And in each of his appearances, he has always fought more than one kaiju, and is the only way he has been beaten (except maybe in Godzilla vs Gigan). The only thing which could put him down for good was an entire army of kaiju ganging up on him as he attempted to destroy them all. But it's kinda obvious what happened. Either way, this was unsurprisingly not the last we'd see of him. Cause believe it or not, there came a Ghidorah who was far worse in comparison to this one. One who left more of an impact upon the universe he existed in (which i am convinced is still in the heisi series of Godzilla). I speak of none other than the Grand King Ghidorah himself. Now, how does one begin to describe Grand King Ghidorah? Well, for one thing at least, let's imagine that Showa Ghidorah survived hi ordeal, went back into space, decided that he finally need to get off his lazy ass and train, spend around 30 years doing said training, and then come back so much stronger than ever before. Though i'm sure this didn't actually happen, it's still fun to dream. But i will definitely say that this is a vast improvement over Showa Ghidorah. Though, as i said, it could be argued that this is Showa Ghidorah, but i digress. Because what he does is far more despicable than anything we've seen his kind do before: while he does begin destroying the planet slowly, and probably getting a kick out of doing it, he also begins kidnapping children, and then trapping them inside of an energy doem using his own power. While it seems obviously clear that king Ghidorah was doing this just to eat, i think my friend UltraGWRzilla has a better theory which gives more context to this, and make him all the more frightening: Grand King Ghidorah also feeds on fear, and misery. Though he obviously can eat like any regular being, there is the idea that he kidnapped human children so that he could bring despair to the human parents, as they worry about, and fear for their kids. And Ghidorah not only feeds on that misery, but also the fear of the humans he has taken as his prisoners. Only a truly malevolent, and sadistic being could do something as horrible as that. Which makes him all the more intimidating than his predecessor's. Also, as a nod to the showa films, he actually has the power of mind control for himself. As a way to show that he is nobodies servant, and he can easily enslave anyone close to him if he so chooses. Like he did to one of the Elias so that he could turn them against, and kill, each other because of how amusing it probably was to him. As is quite evident throughout his film appearance, Grand King Ghidorah is a sadist who enjoys killing others, and hurting them in the most excruciating way he could possibly find. Just like he did to Mothra Leo, who was probably at Godzilla's level of power by the time Ghidorah showed up. After Ghidorah beats him up, though, it makes him desperate enough to actually go back in time to when Ghidorah killed the dinosaurs, a point in which he was considerably weaker, and kill him then. It succeeds, and Grand Ghidorah fades from existence. Though surprisingly enough, his tail stayed in tact, and it let him regenerate from that small piece. Guess it shows that he also has similarities to Cell, as well. Funny enough, like Cell, he lost to our hero once the latter gained a new special form, and completely destroyed him with it. But it was quite an epic finish to such an epic kaiju. Still, as far as i'm concerned, i don't think even an army of kaiju could stand against him as simply as Showa Ghidorah. Not that we can ever see for ourselves since Toho still won't let IDW use him yet. But i'm still hopeful that someday they will be cooperative on the matter. It really is a shame we don't get to see more of him outside the fandom, Yet one thing we can all agree on is that Grand/ King Ghidorah is fearsome, sadistic, vicious, and powerful force of destruction who has long since earned his title as "The King of Terror". 2. Spacegodzilla: Remember when i said that noone in Godzilla pulls off the evil doppleganger concept better than Mechagodzilla? I lied. As far as i'm concerned, there is an evil version of Godzilla who more than lives up being considered his evil half brother. And that is Spacegodzilla, the heavily modified, cosmic clone of Godzilla who is easily one of the most popular kaiju villains ever made. And there is quite alot to enjoy about him, too. He's vile, cruel, malevolent, he enjoys hurting others, manipulating them, and also conquering other worlds for his own gain. Which is something that makes him stand out among many of the evil kaiju. Where others like King Ghidorah, and Destoroyah do nothing but destroy everything around them is considered part of their nature, as they were basically born to be destroyers. Kinda like it was their purpose, and they were made specifically to do so. It's likely instinct to them. Except for Spacegodzilla, who doesn't simply destroy planets like them because it's in his nature, or because someone makes him, oh no. He conquers, and enslaves other worlds for no one other than himself. He holds the ambition of a tyrannical conqueror. He wants to control, and rule everything that exists. But he also tries, and makes sure that any threat to his future reign is killed, or destroyed first. Hence why he traveled to earth as soon as possible to kill Godzilla: as far as Spacegodzilla was concerned, Godzilla was the only real threat to his dominion of earth. And he is certainly one who is willing to go to ANY lengths to make sure it happens. In fact, aside from Destoroyah, Spacegodzilla did something that might be more despicable in comparison: after arriving on Godzilla's Island after honing in on him with his own "species tracking ability", the first thing he does upon arrival is attack little godzilla. He actually attacks a virtually helpless infant so that he can draw Godzilla out. And what happens when Godzilla DOES show up? He gets his ass kicked rather quickly thanks to Spacegodzilla's immense power, and he's forced to watch as his son is locked up in a crystal cage which even he can't break. Which means that he has no choice but to fight Spacegodzilla. And Spacegodzilla is certainly no slouch when it comes to getting ready for a fight. After his Island fight, he sets a course for Fukuoka, then turns it into crystal power station which, using the tower, would keep his strength, and energy, at maximum at all times. After that, he patiently waited for his "father's" arrival. Seriously: he didn't even destroy anything himself. Either on the way to Fukuoka, or once he arrived. At least, except for whatever damage his crystals caused. He just stood there, and waited. it's obviously because he was conserving his energy for the fight, as he knew he would need to be at maximum to win. And he certainly gave Godzilla, and Moguera, a good pounding once they arrived. Funny enough, even after they destroyed the tower, and shattered his shoulder crystals, they barely managed to defeat him because he is a durable bastard who can take as much damage as he receives. Of course, Godzilla did kill him, but there was a sense that he would someday come back. Even if it wasn't in the films. (Which he did). What i also like about him is how he acts more like one of those solo act villains who cannot stand to have any sort of competition for control of HIS world. Or the interference of his plans. Just ask the Jap-Mafia who tried mind controlling Godzilla for a profit. But that's not to say that he doesn't join forces with other evil kaiju, though. In IDW's series, he joined up with Monster X, Hedorah, and Gigan to conquer the planet together. It went about as well as you'd expect. What's funny enough is that even he seemed to realize that he was better off alone. So he went back to being "single". And just like with the Vortaak, who he was also aligned with for a short while, he gave the figurative middle finger to an alien species called the Cryog, who were also trying to take earth. He didn't even hesitate when Gigan was sent to stop him, since he has no other loyalties, and quite frankly, not even Gigan could stop him. The only other foe aside from Godzilla who nearly bested him were the Trilopods. And mainly because they ambushed him on the way to earth, and took him by surprise, thus allowing them to assimilate, and replicate him. And they certainly must've sensed that he was a big threat, because all of their attention was focused on him during the fight in LA. And it was only when he, and Godzilla combined their strength did they finally win. Even though it took everything Goji had, and knocked him unconscious. Of course, true to his nature, Spacegodzilla tried to off him as he lay unconscious. But he immediately sensed the hive coming, and decided to give a "this isn't over" roar before leaving. Like i said: he has no loyalties, and if he see's any opportunity, he'll stab anyone in the back so that he  can win. He's very treacherous, and not someone to take lightly. In fact, there was another instance in history where he nearly brought about the end of the world, and almost succeeded in claiming it as his own: the crystal incursion. Long story short: after getting sucked into a black hole, he sends a swarm of crystal meteors to earth, which then infuse with the elemental properties and become power surge crystals, causing global catastrophes along the way. They enhance/enslave any kaiju that use them, increase in power over time, and are used to free Spacegodzilla from his prison. Now, if anything, we can see a full demonstration which only proves Spacegodzilla can do in a short while what it probably takes King Ghidorah many hours to do. Because in my opinion, Spacegodzilla probably does this as a means of drawing a planet's lifeforce into him, and thus destroying worlds in a similar sense to Galactus. Either that, or he would have crystal-formed the entire world so that he could make the seat of his new empire, which would be made similarly to what he would've done to earth. And he basically used many kaiju to gather the necessary power crystals to make this possible. People like KaijuSamurai take it a step further by having him obtain a secondary form, stronger than the first. I mean, he was already an almighty psychic before, like Mewtwo. But he was close to omnipotent in his ultimate form. Now imagine if he acquired every last PS Crystal in that state. He would basically become a god, and none could be able to stand against him. So basically, he's like the Dr Doom of Godzilla. Though he also has a similarity to the Joker in at least one aspect: his origin. While it was hinted at in his film, we never truly get what his actual backstory is other than the fact he is somehow related to Godzilla. As a matter of fact, he's had quite a number of backstories which are each unique in their own way: whether it was Biollante's spores floating through space until flying into a blackhole, then fusing with a crystal organism. Mothra carrying Godzilla's cells with her as she went into space resulting in the same thing happening, a crystal entity abducting Jr, and the absorbing his DNA to become Spacegodzilla, an evil Godzilla from an alternate universe who fell into a blackhole and fused with a crystal anomaly, a clone bred in a laboratory by King Ghidorah, or Gigan, to be their weapon only for him to turn on them, or Mothra, Battra, Biollante, and Godzilla's DNA fusing with an alien crystal, falling into a backhole once again, and then form Spacegodzilla. Many different accounts, all of them different, except for one detail: Godzilla. And i bet if you asked Spacegodzilla about his origin, he'd either just keep changing it, or he'd say "if you're going to have an origin story, you're better off making it multiple choice". His beginnings are a complete mystery, but everything he has done up to this point only further defines who he is, and proves him to be another example of how villains with silly names can often be the most sinister, and evil. Intelligent, sadistic, pure evil, and with a lust for power unlike any kaiju before, Spacegodzilla is a kaiju who definitely knows what it means to be a Crystal Tyrant. And my number one favorite Godzilla villain is: 1.Bagan: Now, i'm sure many people will probably consider this some kind of cop out, considering how Bagan has never been in a Godzilla movie officially, but hear me out, please. What makes me love Bagan most of all isn't him being an overly popular scrapped kaiju who was planned for at least 3 different movies, and only got featured in a video game: it's what everyone else does with him that makes him enjoyable. Bagan is a kaiju who may be conceptual at this moment, but what toho had planned for him has been beneficial enough to give others something to work with. The basic story for him is simple: he was once the ancient guardian of China, which he guarded over a thousand years ago. But something happened which had him vanish from the world for centuries. Eventually, he returned to the world, and sensing the changes made, decided to wipe out humanity. That was the original concept for him. But now a days, he has a much darker, and edgier story shared by everyone. But i have my own version to go by. He was indeed a guardian of earth, and has existed since the earth itself was formed. He was the most powerful being that ever existed, and was by all accounts a god. It could even be believed that he nearly slaughtered King Ghidorah himself when he invaded, while the divine moth's sealed away his sibling, DesGhidorah. After that, he continued to serve as protector for the planet, and soon enough the new species of human, and animal which began emerging. Humanity soon built civilizations which had both science, and magic, as the foundation of their lifestyle. Even using it to revive extinct species, like dinosaurs, as a way to see how well their abilities worked. And for a good long while, things were quite peaceful. But then something horrible happened which spelled dark days for the earth, and humanity. Bagan, for some reason, had lost his desire to protect all life, and soon wished to bring an end to all life. Noone knows exactly why he ended up like this. Maybe as he watched over humanity he began to grow weary of his task, and turned against it, or as he watched humanity progress he used his godly powers to look into the future, and saw the horrible things humanity would do, or he feared that someday his power would no longer be enough to keep his home safe, and he struck a deal with a dark force for more power so that he could better protect his charges, and became corrupt in the process. Or perhaps even that as humanity progressed in their achievements, he grew jealous of their accomplishments because they no longer seemed to care for, or respect the guardians anymore, and as they began to grow, learn, and even see themselves as Gods, Bagan decided that he needed to take action. Allowing his anger, jealousy, and newfound hatred festering inside of him to eventually corrupt his heart, and make him become a force of evil who believed that humanity, and in turn all living things, were now too dangerous for their own good, and needed to be protected as only he could: by killing every last one of them, and restoring them to their true form as immortal souls, united in a single, strong source that would keep them safe for all eternity: himself. Either way, he wasted no time in laying waste to ancient humanity: decimating their once proud, and advanced cities, vaporizing every last animal he could find, and ultimately destroying the inherent magic which was once inherent within the planet as he consumed to it give himself more power. He eventually face his fellow guardians, possibly offering them the chance to join him, but they refused. Unfortunately, because of how powerful he is, they can't fully stand up to him, and he destroys all but Mothra, and Battra, reducing them to the last of the divine moth's. A chance is also that he may have killed many of the kaiju we know exist in the Godzilla 2014 universe. Perhaps even killing all but one Goji2014 as well. Either way, the divine moth's are given no choice but to cast a great deal of diminished magic to create an imperfect seal to keep Bagan imprisoned for many thousands of years. Though they may not realize that because the seal wasn't complete, he may escape earlier than anticipated. Either way, the humans try and aid the divine moth's one last time by using the last of their resources to create new guardians who are meant to fight Bagan should he ever return. And the earth uses the last of it's magic to restore the damaged earth to it's original state. So as you can see: Bagan is a force of unimaginable power who caused another great extinction in several universes. The idea of him being a guardian who's power basically makes him a god is an often favorited means of development. Though what makes it much better is when he is depicted as a Luciferian figure who rebelled against his fellow guardians, and fell from grace as he was cast into the earth as he was beaten. And of course, when he eventually does get free, he once again brings chaos to the world. And usually people depict him as a final boss villain who Godzilla requires his Super form to defeat. Which does seem fitting because of the fact he best serves as the "Ultimate Evil". And rarely does he get anymore evil than when he is used. For in his bid to destroy everything, he will often go to may lengths to do so, like absorbing the DNA of Godzilla, and King Ghidorah to increase his power, or even assemble an organization of evil kaiju to carry his will, and find the means of restoring his full power. In short, he is a puppet master who will often pull the strings of others in many ways. Whether he infuses his dark essence into Godzilla Senior so that he can kill the divine moths, or he can manipulate humans into forming organizations, or secret societies to carry out his will. But either way, he never takes no for an answer. If someone is unwilling to cooperate with him, he will often force them to do what he wants, whether by psychically screaming into kaiju's minds, or just beating them into submission. Though if he wishes, he will often work on his own to do whatever. Because like any god, he really doesn't need anyone's assistance. Even if it's King Ghidorah who offers said alliance. And Bagan seemingly has no limits to what he can do, too. He either just does what any kaiju can do (super strength, beam weapons, etc.), or he uses powers that very few can do themselves: like being able to transcend through reality, time, and space by going to any universe, or time period he wants. And if he wills it, his own presence can often shape the world around him into something which reflects his black soul: an icy, cold, frozen wasteland with black ice like obsidian, and a cold which reaches all the way down to the human soul. A trait which is reminiscent of the biblical 9th circle of hell, which is the furthest away from heaven, and God's light, and as such is a realm of darkness that isn't warm, or bright. Just cold, and dark. With this in mind, it doesn't surprise me when he has the power to also change his shape into anything he wants, or anyone. Which is also very reminiscent of the very first concept of Bagan from the "Return of Godzilla" film script. Speaking of which, there is another power he wields which is also very unique. When he has noone else around, and he doesn't want to dirty his own hands, Bagan will summon from his own darkness three entities known as Enjin, Mizu, and Doragon Reijuu. These beings are the aspects of Bagan's own soul, and they resemble what Bagan once was before he became a dark god. They each represent earth, air, and water, and also have no wills of their own save for whatever Bagan has them do. They're basically puppets that he can control from anywhere, but are still dedicated to their missions. Though i will say that this gave me some interesting thoughts, too: what if Bagan not only has the ability to consume energy, but also the souls of others, either human, or kaiju? Because as an entity who is so in-tuned with mystical energy, and is a god of incredible power, it stands to reason he also has the power to steal souls, and add them to his power. This would allow him to turn them into will-less slaves who only have one purpose: to serve Bagan for all eternity. Such a thing would only give Bagan more of a satanic feel, and give him the necessary qualities to further cement him as a dark force who seems pretty close to a satanic, lovecraftian horror. Either way, his power is incredible, and it often takes the combined power of every kaiju on earth, as well as Super Godzilla, to bring down this almighty destroyer of worlds. But it is left to wonder if an evil such as his can ever be destroyed so long as evil exists in the universe? We may never know. But soon enough, the inhabitants of the world of Equestria, along with Godzilla, and his universe displaced friends, and foes will eventually. We can only hope that once that time comes, they will be ready. For Bagan is an evil unlike anything seen before save for his former fellow Guardians. With a history paved in blood, hatred, darkness, and oblivion, Bagan will always continue to prove his metal as the ultimate God of Extinction, and the true Lord of Darkness. As the great Makuta Teridax, who is my inspiration for Bagan as well, once said: "So, it has begun, my brother. But soon, it will also EEENNNDD." And that was the list of my top 10 Godzilla villains. Did you agree with my list? Have any thoughts about these guys? Any other kaiju you considered for a spot? If so, then feel free to share in the comments below. And as always, i will see you all in the next installment of...whatever. Goodbye!

Just in case: Some of this artwork is owned by @spankzilla85

Godzilla/these kaiju in general are owned by Toho

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

What We Learned: Fixing one of NHL’s biggest disappointments

(Hello, this is a feature that will run through the entire season and aims to recap the weekend’s events and boils those events down to one admittedly superficial fact or stupid opinion about each team. Feel free to complain about it.)

Another year come and gone of NHL hockey without a postseason for the Winnipeg Jets.

On the surface, it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Look at the talent on that roster and explain how that team ended up seven points out of the playoffs — again. It’s not easy to do.

Mark Scheifele finished at more than a point a game. Blake Wheeler was close. Patrik Laine and Nik Ehlers are future stars in this league. Dustin Byfuglien is still a great defenseman. Bryan Little, hurt for much of the year, is a low-key great No. 2 center. Mathieu Perrault is one of the best pure middle-six two-way forwards in the league. Jacob Trouba’s a high-level young defender. Connor Hellebuyck has the profile of one of the best goaltenders in the world.

That’s nine players who can all play, all at different positions, and usually even if you’re getting half-decent performances from almost half the guys on your roster, you’re going to be a lot closer to a playoff spot than “seven points out.”

The obvious answer to this problem is one outlined by Perreault in the wake of the Jets’ season coming to an end:

  #NHLJets Mathieu Perreault:"There’s no team making the playoffs that isn’t getting saves so we are going to definitely need some saves too."

— Ted Wyman (@Ted_Wyman) April 9, 2017

He’s not wrong.

The Jets had a .904 save percentage as a team this season, and Hellebuyck was the only guy above that number (.907) in 56 appearances. Now, .907 is bad, let’s not make any mistake there. The league average this season was .913, and if Hellebuyck delivered that number instead, it would have — generally speaking — saved the Jets nine goals, giving them an extra three points in the standings. Not enough to bridge the gap, even if all three of those points came against the two teams directly ahead of them.

If all four of their goalies were collectively league-average, that adds 24 goals to the total, and that’s eight points. Now we’re getting somewhere.

But let’s be honest: First of all, if the Jets are still barely squeaking into the playoffs with league-average goaltending, yeah the quality of their division is part of it, but so too is the fact that a team with this much talent is still pretty damn weak.

Second, can we really blame Jets goalies for being this bad? Here’s a breakdown of their GSAA, a good illustration of what an average NHL goalie “would have” stopped versus what they did based on the actual workload they received:

As you can see, the big deficiency for the Jets mostly comes at 4-on-5, meaning their penalty kill was on the ice too much, giving up more good looks than it should, or both.

It will not surprise you to learn that the answer for this team is indeed “both.” The Jets gave up the third-most power plays in the league this season and had the sixth-worst PK. It’s a lethal combination that’s going to cost you a hell of a lot of goals over the course of 82 games. Let’s put it this way: If the Jets had a league-average PK, even while still taking too many damn penalties in the first place, they cut their season-long goals against by 10. That’s a huge swing.

They say your goalie is your best penalty killer, and that’s true when he’s actually killing penalties. But the issue, obviously, is that he has minimal influence over the type or quality of shot he faces. If there’s one thing over which a team’s coaching staff has the most control, it’s special teams play.

Is there a reason why the Jets have the third-lowest 4-on-5 save percentage in the league this year? Maybe not a particularly good one. But over time, you see a pattern develop. It was below-average in Carolina, and it was among the worst in the league in Toronto. So maybe there’s a reason bad PK save percentages seem to follow this guy around.

After all, over the past four years, the Jets have the fourth-most expected goals against on the penalty kill in the entire league, behind only teams that spent much of that time actively tanking (Buffalo, Arizona, and Edmonton). In general, the Jets do a good job of blocking the shot attempts they face, but those that do get through tend to get on goal far more often than the league average.

The real issue as far as I’m concerned is that more than 27 percent of the shot attempts the Jets concede are from high- and medium-danger areas. That’s the second-highest number in the league over a four-year stretch, behind only the Rangers. Where the Jets take far more penalties than they draw — they have, in fact, spent more time killing penalties than any team in the league over since 2013 — the Rangers do the opposite, drawing more than they commit.

And wouldn’t you know it, this was also a problem in Carolina: The Hurricanes’ share of shot attempts from dangerous areas was fifth-lowest in the league during Maurice’s tenure. No one noticed, though, because Carolina had the best penalty differential in the league over those four years.

Is it a systems thing? I’m inclined to say that it is.

But it’s also a personnel thing, and that too is directly under Maurice’s purview. While the bottom of the Jets roster hasn’t been anything to write home about under Kevin Cheveldayoff, it doesn’t explain the list of Winnipeg’s most-used PK guys. Mark Stuart has and 24 percent more PK minutes over the last four years than Dustin Byfuglien and Toby Enstrom, which it won’t surprise you to learn leads to the Jets eating a lot more goals against. Bryan Little doesn’t seem to be particularly good at killing penalties, nor did Andrew Ladd, but they rank first and third among penalty-killing forwards over the last four seasons.

When you account for the fact that Ladd hasn’t been on the Jets for about 100 games or so, that puts him ahead of Blake Wheeler, who’s a demonstrably more successful shutdown guy. Now, you can argue Maurice is saving the better offensive guys for higher-leverage minutes like Winnipeg’s power plays.

And none of this, by the way, is meant to totally absolve the goalies. They absolutely need to be better. But when so much of your problem comes when you’re down a man, that’s telling. As such, fixing the PK should be the top priority, organizationally.

I’m not sure Maurice is the man to address it.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: A team with this many dirty players being upset about a borderline play not resulting in suspension is pretty funny.

Arizona Coyotes: Of course Shane Doan thinks Hamilton is good. The musical’s point of view really reaffirms how the hockey media has treated a dirty player for the past decade-plus.

Boston Bruins: For a team that already has an uninspiring blue line, this seems bad.

Buffalo Sabres: Knives are out for a guy who was given an AHL defense to work with in the NHL.

Calgary Flames: The team is good, gang. Don’t know how else to tell you this.

Carolina Hurricanes: Glad Bickell got those last few games, but this is a major bummer.

Chicago: Strap in for this series, folks. It’s gonna rule.

Colorado Avalanche: Now this is headline-writing.

Columbus Blue Jackets: If only some handsome genius had seen this coming. If only some wonderful nice man who knows so much had warned everyone this team was mostly smoke and mirrors with an elite goaltender. If only…

Dallas Stars: Get a new coach, get a new goalie, make a playoff run. Not hard.

Detroit Red Wings: In my opinion the thing the Red Wings should do in this rebuild is draft the second-best defenseman of all time, then get two Hall of Famers in the sixth or seventh rounds. Hey, it worked once!

Edmonton Oilers: The physical strength Milan Lucic showed off to make this play is amazing.

Florida Panthers: Guarantee you this: Shawn Thornton is coming soon to a NESN broadcast near you. Finally, an insufferable enforcer gets a media platform.

Los Angeles Kings: Bob Miller called almost 3,400 Kings games. When he started his career in 1973, Jaromir Jagr was only nine months old. Come on!

Minnesota Wild: Not looking forward to this dull series but the storylines will be good, I guess. It’s the Roman Reigns of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Montreal Canadiens: Dude scores the OT game-winner and his coach calls him out. That’s good button-pushing from Julien ahead of the playoffs.

Nashville Predators: Hilarious that losing to the Jets on a bad shorthanded goal is what kept the Preds from playing someone that was not Chicago. Hockey’s fun.

New Jersey Devils: Seems like the team is bad and people don’t like it. Did their Cup run delay a proper rebuild? Yes. Was it worth it anyway? I bet no.

New York Islanders: I really don’t know whether this team is going to be any good next year. They started 6-10-4 and still hung around the playoff picture longer than they had any right to after being trash for the first quarter of the year. You gotta make Weight the Guy, though, right?

New York Rangers: Honestly tough to figure out if the Rangers or Habs should be the favorites in their series. It could honestly go either way and no one would be allowed to be surprised or disappointed.

Ottawa Senators: Making the playoffs is Eugene Melnyk’s Stanley Cup. Gate receipts, baby! Beer sales!!

Philadelphia Flyers: So Mason’s gone. Wonder who takes a flyer on him. Ha ha ha.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Wow, as many as seven home games for the Penguins in the first round. Oh I mean, uhh, Columbus fans will pack their building. That’s what we’re supposed to say.

San Jose Sharks: Scratching Pavelski is obviously understandable but he was five games away from a 500-game iron-man streak, so that’s kinda funny.

St. Louis Blues: I don’t like to get too excited about shootout goals as a general rule, but this Tarasenko shot, man. Damn.

Tampa Bay Lightning: I still can’t believe this happened, but when you have a bunch of top-level players missing dozens of games I guess it happens.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Here’s a definitive list of teenagers who scored 40 goals in their rookie seasons: Wayne Gretzky, Dale Hawerchuk, Mario Lemieux, Eric Lindros, and Sylvain Turgeon. That’s a lot of great players, and Sylvain Turgeon.

Vancouver Canucks: Vancouver people seem to be really grappling with the whole “how does tanking work?” issue. Getting bigger isn’t the damn problem, bud.

Vegas Golden Knights: Oh hell yeah.

Washington Capitals: Now is the time for all your existential crises.

Winnipeg Jets: The “end season on seven-game win streak” part of this is what should worry Jets fans. “They’re finally on the right track!” is a very real position the front office could make.

Play of the Weekend

Most important save of the Leafs season, and damn it’s a good one.

Gold Star Award

Playoffs, folks. Here we go.

Minus of the Weekend

College hockey being over is insanely bad.

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Year

User “Carolinas Identity” is on top of things.

To Carolina:

MacKinnon

To Colorado:

Hanifin

2017 1st

Signoff

Take your best shot! I’m wearing 17 layers!

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)

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