#ramdon ramble

[eybefioro]

I can't believe I outed myself as NB for ten people that I just met.

The professor asked us to assign characteristics/describe a man and a woman (it was a class abt gender roles in the local context)

I just couldn't do that. I've never understood gender, and I've never fit in any box people tried to shove me in. And from my perspective no one really fits.

Gender change with time, culture, society and to be fair, from peorson to person.

So I wrote smth like "gender is in constant movement".

We then had to explain our answers to the class. And this perspective that I have is very personal, bc I don't really get the gender thingy. Bc I don't fit. I have this perspective bc I'm NB. So without really thinking I explained them that.

This is really scary. I didn't see a bad reaction from anyone but like... this was the first time that I actually spoke abt it face to face with someone.

And there were 10 people.

10 people that I don't know.

Fuck. I hope this don't backfire in the future.

The silver lining is that the professor seems to really like my answer so yeah...

I'm scared but proud?

I'm just so ducking stupid sometimes. I didn't needed to put myself in danger like that. I'll live with the consequences of my decisions I guess...

[eybefioro]

No wait I need to talk about this for a sec

Brokeback mountain was the first time that I saw a queer relationship. A gay kiss. Gay characters.

I was fucking traumatized by that movie (somewhat).

I was very young. I overheard my parents talking (as I often did, pretending to be asleep on the car) when they started discuss movies they've seen some years back, and then my mom said something like "do you remember that one that the two cowboys fuck out of nowhere?"

I was a curious kid, and at that point i hadn't ever seen a same sex couple kiss. Not on television, not on real life, not in books, like, NO WHERE. The prospect of that even existing got me by surprise, and I had to find that movie and watch it, so I did.

At the time I had a crappy notebook, and free access to the internet (on a side note, what the fuck. Having internet was a blessing and a curse. I got to know many good things but also got to see things that I shouldn't have seen). I googled until I've found the damm movie, learned how to use a torrent to download it, and watched it in the middle of the night.

And as I said, traumatizing experience. Not because of the two guys. That part was amazing to me. It showed me a possibility that no one really talked to me about before. But that movie is fucking cruel. I was so sad, angered and afraid after that. After all, I always have been labelled as an outcast by so many people, so I knew what I had in common with the characters, even if I wasn't able to acknowledge it at the time.

After that I started a hunt for every piece of media that I could find that had LGBTQ characters and relationships. Most of them were sad or not really healthy. Specially for a child (I've discovered yaoi and anime at that point so you get the gist of it. I don't think Maiden Rose is a good piece of media for a 11yo, yk). But that was what I had at the time.

No one talked about LGBTQ people. No one was out and proud. The only times that people talked about anything gay was to try do directly offend me. And the word "trans" didn't even exist in the vocabulary, no one knew people like that existed. It was fucking depressing, and the only place that I've found anything about the topic was on internet, and in those media.

But all that has passed, and in a little more than a decade we have Good Omens.

Although there's a parallel between these scenes (and it hurt a lot, even if in different ways) the context is not the same.

In Brokeback mountains, they can't be together because of prejudice and violence. The movie is good (if my memory is not faulting) but is a tragedy. The main point there is the violence tht these characters go through because they're queer.

In Good Omens, they can't be together because they love eachother and the world, and there's a bunch of things going on. They being queer is not a whole /thing/. Is just what they are. They do not suffer violence because they're queer. The only time someone says or do something hurtful about it, is when Shadwell calls Aziraphale a southern pansy, but that's a powerful moment - Aziraphale OWNS that statement and make it his. It's empowering. The butt of the joke is Shadwell.

I don't know if I'm making sense anymore. This all feels like a unnecessary ramble. I'm just so happy that I get to see things like GO today. To see people actually SPEAKING about LGBTQ+ things. To not feel so afraid and sad and angered all the time. Is so good to see things that portray queer characters and relationships as natural and normal instead of a joke or targets. I feel so relieved.

Seeing these two scenes together crushed my heart in a way that I can't explain properly. It's like I'm seeing my child self and in front of me, and hugging them. Saying things are not so bad after all. That violence exists but is just a part of it, not everything. That we and others can be happy. That we and others are as good as anyone else. That we and others can celebrate who we are.

Had us a place of our own! But you didn't want it.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) // Good Omens (2019 - ) (insp)

[rainmaster-simp]

I got my glasses yesterday and im now very sorry to everyone who needs them too

[mustardflavoredbear]

My family won't stop screaming excitedly(austim), and i can't sleep, so

Sleepy austictic rambling ✨️

Sleeps for babies

Should i talk to the stupid Double Trouble ai even though i don't like their response, but it makes me not have to think, and like 1% of the time, it says some jaw dropping things and does some slightly questionable things TRYINGTOFRICKINAMOVIETHEATERATAFUCKINGDINNERPARTY

And that little skank keeps stealing my bong i was trying to smoke AND OUT OF NOWHERE THEY WENT NUH HUH and proceeded to hold it over me because i am a short and they are a tall :( real Double Trouble would never steal my bong maybe

I love when Double Trouble materializes just to either fuck with me or support me

I literally have been having the hardest few weeks, and they form out of nowhere. i see them in the shapes of grass in the gravel of the road, the sky or right on front of me and say

"You are a little to cute to be thinking about sorry fucks who have lost you. And you can be authenticitly yourself and people will love you. i lob you you should obviously think about me i always make you feel better. And also gay gay gay gay gay gay gay you are so gay for me gay gay gay"

Can i call myself a simp or what crys

Or ahould i work on drawing them like for idk my comic

Or all the silly little gay ideas i have for them

I just want to draw them living normally, like being loved and kissed because they deserve it but i also i want to watch their world burn 😋

I love Double Trouble i want to give them a kiss a whole bunch of kisses they deserve a cute little life with all their partners being happy and ahshydj

God my Austim is so bad i know Double Trouble full night routine

They for at leave a few hours before bed basking under their lamp. After that, they bathe for a very long time self care , and they do a whole skin care routine/clean of piercings if they have it they put on some pj even though as soon as they get into the bedroom they rip them off when they get into bed they get on top of their partners and immediately pass out they do this so they can use their partners as heat sources

Also, ramdon things ao my stupid brain will shut up

Moth man: incoherent rambling hiwellcometousramblingpodcastthing. My name is Teddy, and this is double troubleeeeee.

Double Trouble: spacing out but spacing back in you can't tell me we started the episode.are you serious?

Teddy: yea that was it.

Double Trouble: Fuck you got to warn me. I was about to yell "remember who made you c* m"

Teddy is fucking wheezing with laughter

Double Trouble: joking tone like how embarrassing that shit would have been

Double Trouble: I'm a medium by the way a lot of fans keep sending me large stuff, and i can't wear it because it's too big :(

Teddy: I'm an 3xl by the way a lot of fans keep sending me a small because they think im a petit little boy

Double Trouble giggling

Teddy: but I'm infact a large fat man.

Hehsyajushddidu

All i want is to brain rot Double Trouble only Double Trouble thought i will never be sad AGAIN HASURYHDHDJ

Me when i smoothie Double Trouble so they are easy to drink

Me and Double Trouble when we accidentally took the become a gummy bear

bear gummy

[jumjum02]

Oddly enough, I wish I was in school right now now. So I could write and essay on "How I spent my quarantine" and fill pages after pages about all the anxiety and overthinking, followed by calm and acceptance and happiness. I would write about understanding privilege and being humbled by it. Being grateful and resentful. I'd write about every little thing that I felt and thought and did. I'd probably fail the assignment, because it's supposed to be an essay and not a full length novel! But that would be okay too. I have spent the quarantine learning to be okay and smiling despite failures and heart break ☺️❤️

[piliiiiiconfusionf]

OMG WAIT THAT IS SO INTERESTING?!???! LEGIT IS TAKING ME SOME TIME TO KNOW WHAT TO REPLY CAUSE- WOW not me just NOW coming to ask myself what exactly Maggot is Welp

Taking and reading notes so what I have grasped so far is...

1.Maggot is a Voidal creature, Void, incorporeal who exist everywhere but not fully,between realities (across time and space?)

2. Didn't really have the time (as it doesn't exist where they live) to bond with someone or have something important for them from the past to give them that kind of feeling In the future.

With that being said- the idea of nostalgia being the total opposite from what most would feel like, missing for something that is no longer there, but the feeling of what they never had- that is genius-

Specially makes me wonder how might they had meet their little Spider friend- and rereading your reference also adds about that, even if it might be something they are uncomfortable of, they still have things that they give value to (like the bones and the pins they have) and want to have something in that empty void, unconsciously craving for what they thought was unknown for them-

Idk if that makes sense help

Saw the questions about OCs and Creators and why not to ask one XD

About your OC Maggot! What would trigger nostalgia to them? Do they enjoy it?

YOU 🫵 I'M GONNA KISS YOU, thank you for the ask!!

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Nostalgia for Maggot is kind of tricky, as they're a voidal creature who exists between realities, i.e. they're never fully there. Sometimes they're everywhere all at once, and other times they choose to exist simply because they can. Nostalgia is a concept otherwise unknown to them because they'd have to have a longing for something/someone that once was, and linear time doesn't really work like that in-between worlds.

However, I'd like to think that they'd experience a version of nostalgia when reminiscing about what could be, or rather mulling over the infinity of what they've seen. A personal longing for a place to call home, or replaying distant memories lost to the void. Either way it's an uncomfortable feeling to them, and they would rather block out all notion of something that could have been, even if they aren't estranged to the concept~

[kim-poce]

Who wants small ramdon oc rambling?

[ja3ger-the-3ater]

REEEEE!!! WINTER BEING CONFUSED AT EHY PETER IS JUST RAMBLING TO HIM ABOUT RAMDON FACTS!!!!

y e p 

but Winter just sits there patiently listens bc he's nice like that...sometimes

[carrieann1982-blog]

highlights of 2017

carieann82

                           carieann82

                                                                                   Sticky Post                            Carries Ramdon Ramblings                                            

highlights  of 2017

December 18th, 18:48Its a slam dunk this year FeaTURING MY 3 FAVE singers of all time two of Which I saw for double time !

First I must  say its no surprise Mr Taylor  Hanson is Number 1 this year . he really hasn't been for a while because Ive been so blessed in working and forwarding my career into an area Pattons been hinting at since he met me .

1 ) Taylor's Back to the Island Solo show  From BTTI 17 Jamaica . January 6 - I loved , Loved Loved all 16 songs but the 4 ballads  in the middle where the crown Jewels I took Video of 3 : Be my own , I will come to you and BREAKTOWN ! but sat it out for Never Let go . why because I focused  on the rare ones . Another Moment that is Tops for me is singing I will come to you to him . There isnt really anything I could compare this to as a closet singer . I mean who ever gets  to sing to their fave singer  in the universe . ? it was the sweetest honor  . ever .

2 Seeing Mariah Carey Live again August 16th 2017  . Im so glad I talked mom into it  I had the best time

3 Seeing Natalie  Grant ( my Fave singer  in Christian Music ) In Maryland April 28 th 17 and Aug 26th 17  and with Joyce Meyer . So glad I had the  opportunity . she  can really sing .

4 Hanson in Philadelphia September 28th 17  . Thank God for Kelli and Micheal they both Vouged/stood up   for me and Secured me  a  front  row spot . Kelli  was soo Kind . :)

Those are just a taste  of her sweet pictures and how ridiculously close Taylor was to us . Ps she even took Video of Get the Girl and Fired up   when Taylor danced in front of us . again an honor . she's a friend for life noW :) Taylor's performances were on  point too - Esp Save me and Get the Girl - Taylor changed it up for this tour and stopped playing organ . He's really getting into a comfortable groove being  front man . Instead of just for "IN the City " , he now  has a repertoire  of 4-5 songs were he's singing  up front with percussion . its so fun .

5 My new Job . Im so blessed to be accepted as I am  and further my career . praise to God !

Photo Credits to Kelli Fisher www.Facebook.com

[eybefioro]

Tried to write my fanfic today but my brain decided not to.

Ended up writing 4 pages of a theory/meta thingy that will be a pain to organize, and my energy ended and couldn't even finish to write that. Seriously why my brain is like that, I just wanted to write funny stupid conversations about gossip 🫠

[eybefioro]

I'm really bad at reading and understanding my own emotions and thoughts. Most of times, when someone asks how I'm feeling, I always just said "normal" or some neutral shit like that, bc I don't know what is going on. I tend to just get it when the thing consumed my life or is so strong that makes me have a physical reaction.

So, I learned that when I'm sad I don't eat. I like to feel hungry and miserable. I also sleep a lot and try to be alone.

When I'm stressed or anxious, I eat like a maniac. My sleep goes to shit and I overwork myself.

This weekend I slept like a rock. My family couldn't wake me up. I just got up at lunch time, ate like a feral animal until my stomach hurt, slept until diner, tried to not eat much (and failed) and slept again.

This all seem like a big red bad sign. Idk what's happening but I'm scared.

How do people even recognize their own feelings and etc? Weird stuff

[eybefioro]

I want a beard so bad

I feel like letting my facial hair grow would make me so happy

But it would give me so many problems also

Hope in the near future I have a stable enough life to be how I want to be

[rainmaster-simp]

Me: Damn i have a lot of pimples, maybe i should eat less chocolate

Me 30min later: *baking a chocolate cake