#purgatory of assbutts

[figmentof]

feel like pure shit just want her back (ed in a messy bun)

what sort of ethereal being looks that gorgeous??????? she's UNREAL

glad Stede's running around going "it's all my fault :(" yeah don't you forget it babe look at the bag you fumbled. my g o d

[tasveer-e-ishq]

it's so funny that the first thing hell and heaven agrees on post s4 is that dean and cas are dating

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

Listen, I like Sam and I know Dean and Cas messed up big time A LOT but idk Sam is kinda an assbutt. He‘s mad at Dean for saving his life?! And doesn’t give a shit when Dean basically dies (goes to purgatory), he doesn’t even actually care when Cas dies.. Be doesn’t even wanna be brothers anymore cause DEAN SAVED HIS LIFE like dude if you’re suicidal that’s one thing but you can’t be mad at the dude who raised you for trying to save your life!!

[casblackfeathers]

more under the cut!

tagging a few mutuals just in case you have twitter too, my timeline is looking kinda empty right now😂 I would love to follow my mutuals who have accounts there. To the ones I already followed, a follow back would be pretty sweet too 💜

@castielss @jeffreyss @clarkegriffins @jemariel @magnificent-winged-beast

@buckbylightning @finaledenialist @wanderingcas @janblue @purgatory-jar

@galaxystiel @destielonfire @novemberthee5th @princesscas @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

@assbuttboyfriends @trenchcoatandhalo @chevrolangels @deanfucker @almaasi

Guess I'm on Twitter now

Finally went ahead and created an account on Twitter (or X). I'm just tired of not being able to check links whenever people send me stuff from there. Also wanna keep up with more people in the fandom! Still very much hate Elon Musk though.

Still trying to figure things out but if you wanna check me there, here's my account. 💚💙

[halorvic]

saw you’ve got bae doona on your header. a true person of taste, i see

[queerhannibal]

Ljfkdjdhks I’m so confused lmao why do I keep seeing stuff saying that Will’s smol I mean the dude’s almost like six ft lolll

Oh!!! I actually have an answer for this one!!!

Hugh Dancy is almost six feet tall, but the character Will was intentionally shot to appear shorter! And I’m pretty sure Hugh doesn’t actually wear a size small shirt, but when we look in Will’s dresser in Œuf all the shirts are size small. Also several people joke throughout the show about how tiny Will is

So basically Hugh is a perfectly reasonable sized man but Will is supposed to be perceived as small and so it also gets played up by the fandom

[tomminowrites]

*ahem* hey, have you ever heard of Prodigal Son? There’s this kinda found family vibe there that I’m liking. Plus, the main guy has, like, h e l l a issues so 👌👌

Yes i may have… heard of it. 😅

And you make an EXTREMELY CONVINCING SALES PITCH thank you. i will absolutely be checking it out soon!!

[theacevengers]

My dad says I’m “too indecisive” cause I’m agnostic and I’m p neutral politically. But boy wait til he hears I’m aspec (and currently questioning being agender) lol. Gimme all the a-’s *grabby hands*

you’re too powerful!!!!

[desperatemurph]

Kinda random but I like how you color your stuff :)

Aww, thanks!!

[figmentof]

quick! who’s the most babygirl? who had the most tragic breakup/separation? who most yearns for the mortifying ordeal of being known? ed, crowley, neo?

holy shit sam you can't just attack me which such questions randomly like this 🤯

uhhhhhhhh. Neo did sacrifice himself after Trinity died but then they got their happy ending later (although he was trapped in the matrix again for like 20 years so like... ignorance is bliss at least???) so i'd say he's the least tragic of them all also he got Trinity who is like the baddest bitch in this entire universe so he's the biggest winner to ever win lbr (that's my lesbian ass speaking tho Trinity if you read this i'm free on thursday night and would like to hang out. if you see this please respond and hang out with me on thursday night when i'm free)

you cannot ask me to pick THEE babygirl i cannot choose between my children....... okay fine it's Ed. the most babygirl imo she is everything she's barbie she's the blueprint actually i will not take any feedback at this time

most tragic breakup is probably Crowley bc this poor dumbass (affectionate) spent like 6000+ years yearning and pining and understands/speaks every language known to man but he can't articulate his love to Aziraphale and even after having lesbians smack him over the head about saying what he means he still didn't... do it. you cannot be more cringefail than to allow some old angelic fart trigger religious trauma in the love of your existence and have him leave you for superheaven even though everything Aziraphale is doing is for Crowley but damn you can understand his duolingo unit 15 french but you didn't Get™ Aziraphale's "i need you" and "we can be together" was an admission of reciprocated love. i really hope he doesn't drive his Bentley directly into the Thames but i also wouldn't blame him if he did lmao

both Ed and Crowley yearn to be known don't they, as much as it scares them to lay themselves bare. though Ed's already a lot more straightforward with that what with him already being vulnerable with Stede TWICE (Stede really fumbled the bag with the bad bitch he pulled by being autistic there yikes). Crowley...... has a lot of work to do. 6000+ years of repression jfc maybe if she read some jane austen in those years maybe then she wouldn't be in this pickle skajdhksjdhkajsdh

[mariequitecontrarie]

Hbd :)

Thanks!

[teaespensonawards]

If smthn I wanna nominate is already on the list, should I still, y’know, do it? Or just skip that one

Since it’s on the list, it’s all right to skip it if you want.

[thescholarlystrumpet]

Fmk Spinner!Rumple (pre ogres war), Mr. Gold (cursed persona), Det. Weaver

Oh shiiiit. Um. Um. /frets.

Fuck: Mr. Gold. He’s hot AF but such a dick

Marry: Spinner!Rumple because he’s very sweet and probably would be a good partner (after some therapy to build his self esteem)

Kill: Detective Weaver because I know the least about him.

[standbyyourmantis]

Hellooo. I saw your tags for about the whole “pirate accidentally rapes a girl in a carriage” thing and ??? Could I get more context pls cause that sounds like a complete mess™ 😂

Yes! So it was a book called “Windswept Passion” (if you check that link, I wrote the “Liz D.” review) written in the mid-80s and it was just…the worst. I ended up giving it away to a girl in a lit class I was in because she also thought it sounded funny so she took it off my hands.

Keep in mind, I gave up on this book about halfway in so everything I’m about to tell you is JUST the first part of the book. So, the first character in this trainwreck is this chick named Cathelen. She’s got platinum blonde hair and violet eyes and a “delicate golden triangle” between her thighs that literally every man who encounters her thinks about. Seriously every man given a pov in this book thinks about her being raped, including her brother.

Anyway, Cathelen is at finishing school, where she’s complemented for being graceful in hoop skirts before she’s pulled from it immediately in a carriage by her brother who whisks her and a loyal family servant away to go to the Carolina colony because their father is about to be hanged for something stupid and the brother is about to try and save him. Cathelen gets on the boat with the servant (whose name was like, Dany or something???) and then immediately the servant dies. Now, all throughout the first part of the book everyone is terrified of Cathelen being an indentured servant, and she’s warned repeatedly that this is terrible and since her fare is paid they’ll go to Carolina and she’ll be safe. Except then Dany dies and Cathelen immediately signs up to be an indentured servant with the captain.

Anyway, the captain drops her off in Barbados or Jamaica? Somewhere like that. So she’s originally gonna work for a guy I think is supposed to be the villain but then the “”””hero”””” Adam Sauvage (like the Mythbusters guy?) nabs her instead. I think the other guy is the villain, because he’s all smoldering about how awesome it would have been to rape her but in a villainous way and not a heroic way? So Cathelen finds herself at Adam’s place with a enslaved woman who hates her. The reason for this is because the other woman is jealous because she’s MOSTLY white (I think she’s an “octaroon” but I may have my blood quantum wrong here) which means if she has kids with a white man, her kids will be free so she’s all hot for Adam to knock her up and his interest in Cathelen is a major threat to her. Also at one point Cathelen legit is like, eh, slavery isn’t so bad the Irish have it just as bad in England! so it has all that going for it. I didn’t read long enough to see how this plot plays out.

Also Adam isn’t really Adam he’s really his twin brother, a notorious pirate who goes by the “Sea Wolf.” His piracy caused his twin brother, a respectable plantation owner, to be murdered in his stead so he assumed his brother’s identity and pretends to be both of them. He also wears gloves in public because of some childhood abuse involving him getting burns on his hands that he’s extremely sensitive about and also it’s the only thing that wasn’t identical between the twins.

SO the villainous dude throws a big ball and invites Cathelen, as you do when you want to rape a girl, and she goes and then Adam is also there but leaves early so she’s walking home and he grabs her in a carriage (as the Sea Wolf with a loyal servant driving for him) and is trying to rape her IN THE MOVING CARRIAGE but she fights back and then he realizes they’re being chased by the OTHER guy who wants to rape her because that guy was also following her and saw her get snatched!!!!! Anyhoo, while the carriage chase is happening Adam gets her pinned to the floor of the carriage, then he’s got his dick out and her skirts up and decides “eh, maybe later” but before he can pull back they hit a bump in the road and he just slides right in so he figures, hey, while I’m here I might as well finish!

Cathelen, who only passes the sexy lamp test by making progressively worse life choices than an actual lamp would have, pretty much walks the rape off and falls in love with Adam without knowing he’s the Sea Wolf. So they get married, have a really boring consensual sex scene involving the phrase “hither and yon” and aforementioned bit where he is described as “unfolding” her labia. She figures out that there are two brothers and one is a pirate and the other is the plantation owner, but not that they’re both the same man, and this is where I got bored and decided I was sick of wasting my life on this earth reading bad writing.

If you ever read Weeping Cock on LiveJournal back in 2010, I did a whole write up there with quotes and everything and it was bad enough that somebody made some icons for it.

I don’t know if I’ve stressed this point strongly enough, but it’s really just a terrible book.

[mareyshelley]

hey so given that your url is “mareyshelley” i figured you might be familiar with romantic poetry? d’you have any opinions on keats or percy shelley bc i have to pick an assigned reading to present on and i’ve narrowed it down to them two so

I do know a little something. I really love the Romantics, but it'll probably just come down to personal taste. I personally prefer Keats to Shelley (Sorry, Percy <3) Shelley's writing is deliberately a little more archaic, even for the early 19th Century, and I'm not a huge fan of that. Keats' writing just flows a lot more naturally. I think it'll be much more accessible than Shelley's.

Again, it’s just personal preference, but I would pick Keats.

[queerhannibal]

Just had the weirdest dream? hallucination? nightmare? my dude. Somehow Mads got stuck promoting smthn on lip sync battle and idr the song or the choreo but holy shit I was fucking h o w l i n g

Fhdjdksksks oh my god???? Imagine Mads doing a lip sync battle?????? His dance routine would be Crazy

This is a blessed dream thank you v much for sharing