#promoing my spooky baby over here as well

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'So Much (For) Stardust' - Fall Out Boy

No one liked M A N I A. Not even Joe Trohman, it turns out… 

In an interview with Rolling Stone, the Fall Out Boy guitarist spoke about his frustrations with the band’s 2018 record, with a more rock-oriented album being scrapped early in the process. 

‘I’d say, ‘I’m gonna extricate myself from this. This is not what I want to do,'” he recalls. “‘When you have some stuff together, give it to me. If you want me to throw some ideas on there or whatever, I’ll do it in my recording studio.’ And I did that a little bit, but overall, I stayed pretty much out of it, more or less.  

‘Mania has some cool ideas and interesting stuff in there. But it didn’t work as well, and I can’t say I love it. That’s what leads me, hopefully, to go back to making a record… with guitars, bass, drums, vocal. I love synthesizers, synthesizers that we play. We can play music; let’s play the music. Let’s not go for samples. Let’s not try to reach for singles. At this point, we’ve had so many hit singles. Do we really even need to reach for singles anymore? I think we should just make a cool record.’ 

And he’s right: Fall Out Boy don’t need hit singles. As elder statesmen of the emo-rock scene, they’ve got nothing else left to prove. And were they ever a singles band? 

So, let’s cut to the chase: Fall Out Boy’s latest album, So Much (For) Stardust is nowhere near as bad as its predecessor. Probably because it’s super tame in comparison, mostly returning to the chart-friendly rock roots of Save Rock and Roll and 2015’s American Beauty/American Psycho.  

‘Hold Me Like a Grudge,’ easily the album’s best track, goes full ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ with its tense, bass-fuelled groove, along with some MJ-style vocal inflections from Patrick Stump. 

So Much (For) Stardust is at its best when it’s delivering straight-up rock bangers. ‘Love From The Other Side’ has a belter of a chorus, along with moody strings to help heighten the intensity, while ‘Heartbreak Feels So Good’ harks back to the urgent, pacey riffs of the past, proving why Trohman is such a key ingredient to the band’s sound. 

But then, after such a promising build-up, the record takes a sharp nosedive in quality. 

‘Fake Out’ is pure corn, sounding like a rejected JoBros cut from 2008. ‘Heaven, Iowa’ and ‘I Am My Own Muse’ embody the same blustery melodrama found on M A N I A. ‘What a Time to be Alive’ is the obligatory COVID track that already feels pretty dated (‘Sometimes, you wonder if we're ever lookin’ back/At a picture of 2019/And sayin', "That's the way, the world, it used to be/Before our dreams started burstin’ at the seams"/We're out here and we're ready, we're here and we're ready/To livestream the apocalypse’).  

‘So Good Right Now,’ meanwhile, veers dangerously close into Viva Las Vengeance territory with its brassy horns and chintzy strings, bursting with that insufferable theatre kid energy. ‘And all of our wildest dreams, they just end up with a-you and me,’ goes the track, ‘So, let's drive until thе engine just gives out.’ Lyrics-wise, it’s basically just ‘Don’t Let the Light Go Out,’ Part 2. 

I grow more and more weary of Pete’s lyrics with each album, at his pseudo-intellectual worst on the pointless interlude ‘Baby Annihilation,’ the bassist reciting teenage-level verse over spooky keys and gloomy synths (’The first time I took the mask off, just had another one on underneath/I'm just melted wax on a birthday cake, another year fades away/Charcoal crushed, pixie fever, angel dust/Stuck in a wasteland we covered in glitter and broadcast just for a little serotonin’). The album’s other interlude, ‘The Pink Seashell,’ takes a snippet from the 1995 Gen X classic, Reality Bites, starring Maya Hawke’s dad, yet adds no real value.  

I kinda struggle to grasp what the overall theme of So Much (For) Stardust is supposed to be. At the beginning of the album’s promo cycle, the band sent out postcards to a select group of fans, hinting at a beach resort-style dystopia – something that actually left me rather intrigued. But other than the ‘The Pink Seashell’ interlude, it’s never referenced again on the record.  

Look, I get you gotta get fans’ attention somehow. But why bother coming up with a gimmick if you’re not gonna expand on it? The beach resort-style dystopia doesn’t even appear on the album cover!  

Despite a promising start, So Much (For) Stardust musters a ‘meh’ at best. It’s pleasant enough, but not all that memorable an effort.  

It was probably for the best, though, that the Fall Out Boy went back to safe and familiar territory after the complete shitshow that was M A N I A. That they can deliver such a body of work this far into their career is an achievement, and admittedly does feature some decently tight drumwork, blistering riffs and some of Stump’s strongest vocals yet. 

I’m no doubt going to be dismissed by some as just longing for the past and gleefully told to ‘stay mad.’ But as a longtime FOB fan, I’m tired. I just want more reliable and straight-up rock bangers like ‘Hold Me Like a Grunge.’ For fuck’s sake, I’d do anything for more of that chaotic Pax-Am Days-style punk. No more goofy experiments, no more cynical shots at mainstream appeal. We don’t need another Panic! on our hands… 

It doesn’t quite sparkle as bright as I hoped, but So Much (For) Stardust could’ve been a hell of a lot worse.  

– Bianca B. 

[dani-the-mark]

WWE Raw 9/06/21 Review

SPOILERS: I hated it

Okay two things to start out

May I have been jaded by my high expectations and burnout from All Out? Yeah, probably.

RAW IS TOO GODDAMN LONG

Okay on to the show!

RKBro Promo

Riddle baby! He just wants to be friends with Randy, and it’s adorable. I love it. Then, Bobby comes out. I am conflicted here. I like that they're making the Tag Division seem more important, like something Bobby is genuinely interested in. However, I don't like Bobby, and I never really have. Also, the fact that he doesn't have a real tag team partner makes him annoying. I'm already not a fan of teams just being thrown together, but most of the time at least both of them are fully functional full-time wrestlers. There are so many other teams that deserve the space here and deserve their chance, and they're just not getting it. it's like face Roman all over again. Long story short, this is weird but I don’t completely hate it.

Tag Team Turmoil Part 1

Very oppositional styles, something I like to see together, to start. I may have used this analogy before, but it was like the New Day were fighting a brick wall. Speaking of the New Day, I’m just happy they got one round, let alone four. Unfortunately just knowing Bobby is coming makes me care less about the whole thing. There’s lots of energy, all the teams putting a lot in. Xavier looks like he needs a nap. They’ve done royal rumbles, I know they’re fine. But I still want to care!

After the first round, it was just the New Day Show, Jinder was not even a threat, and slightly less so were Mace and Tbar. I am once again conflicted with the implementation of a break. It was kind of dragging on is this point, I was getting restless and I'm sure I'm not the only one. but, it was extremely abrupt and random, also I'm pretty sure it happens during a commercial break which is even more confusing.

Drew McIntyre vs Sheamus

Two royal rumble winners fighting for the US championship? There were a lot of more than decent spots, including the spine buster pin. Being said, these two should be in the main title picture that is currently nonexistent. I always forget just how good Sheamus is. He can do anything at this point and it’s, at minimum, fine.

Super Brutality vs Tamina and Natalya

Super Brutality is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Another tangent, but I love that all of y'all on this site have decided they are in love with each other. I get it. I usually don't like thrown-together type tag teams, but this is honestly pretty good. I’d need some more cohesiveness to be sold, but their wrestling styles work pretty well together. This match seemed focused on building them up, and it’s working.

I may have teared up when I saw Nikki's armband.

Side note again, I don’t like WWE making Smackdown about 9/11. I know they are strongly linked, but it rubs me the wrong way. If I don’t see a lot of Zelina I will be upset. It better be like a thing. This cannot be a normal Smackdown.

Karrion Kross vs John Morrison

The most awkward thing in the world, for at least this week. Kross is a supervillain, voice, and everything. Ring work wasn’t bad, but it felt random and unnecessary

Nia Jax vs Charlotte Flair

I’m sensing shenanigans! And I was right! Shayna is suddenly a bitch, which she always was but not to Nia. It was extremely random. It felt like no one was committing to anything. Nia is supposed to be a heel, but won’t cuss to the point she sounds like a preteen, but Charlotte can be as vulgar and obscene as she wants to be. It’s not that I have any problem with the obscenity, I just wish it was consistent.

Alexa showing up did get me excited, partial because people jump scaring into the ring impresses my monkey brain. All that being said, we’re just jumping into another title match? She just…...gets it? No build-up? After five minutes of being spooky and she gets it.

I’m begging for consistency at this point.

Reggie vs Tozawa

Reggie is great, he’s very talented. But why did this match happen? We have so much else we could be doing, like building up Alexa and Charlotte. Or Kross and Morrison. Or anything else.

Tag Team Turmoil Part 2

They saw All Out and said “Let’s throw everything at the wall! Get everyone on the card!” I’m exhausted. I have since found out that This is exactly what they were doing apparently because Vince wasn't there.

Superplex off Mansoor? Great loved that. Another round for New Day? Also loved that!

Bobby winning over every other tag team on Raw?

I’m glad this episode is over.

[ryanonwrasslin-blog]

The Wrestling Optimist - March 16, 2017

Welcome to my weekly, mostly optimistic, look at the wonderful world of professional wrestling. This came about because I’m working my hardest to stop being such a miserable smark, and this column is my best effort at both keeping myself honest and funneling out the various thoughts I have on wrestling. For the most part, this will be a WWE-themed piece every week, and it’s still evolving, but for now I think I’ve found a solid format. I urge you to join me in being a happier wrestling fan, whatever that may mean to you!

Theme of the Week All of the authority figures on the main roster are TERRIBLE at their jobs

In some ways, this is all Vince McMahon's fault. The standard for manipulative, overbearing authority figures was set with Vince vs. Stone Cold, and ever since then WWE has been trying to recapture that magic, forever sticking to the idea of pitting the authority figure against one or more of the top wrestlers on the show, and usually shuffling them around the card like they do with other feuding superstars. They even go so far as to feud face authority figures against heel wrestlers, which is SUPER tricky to do and rarely ever works well except to make the heel look like the face.

But let's stick to kayfabe for a moment. On Raw this week, Stephanie McMahon, rather than devote her time and energy toward building to Wrestlemania and making sure that Raw actually, you know, is watchable for a change, tells Mick Foley that he has to fire one superstar. Mick, rightfully, is like, "Da Fuck?" and points out that, again, THEY ARE THREE WEEKS FROM WRESTLEMANIA and this is not an ideal time to fire anyone. She insists and he wanders around backstage in a daze for the next two and a half hours. And at the end of the night, after reviewing a roster that includes Curtis Axel, R-Truth, Primo, Epico, Sin Cara, Titus O'Neil, and like 4 cruiserweights I wouldn't recognize if they hit me with their finisher, tells Steph that SHE'S the one who he's firing.

Homie, if you were gonna go the self-sabotage route, why not fire like Cesaro or Sami Zayn so that Smackdown could sign one of them and they'd be free from the plodding march toward permanent mid-card status that is their career on Raw? That actually would have popped me and gotten me interested in the direction they were going with a story. But no, Foley "fires" Steph, which shortly summons Triple H, who does all but fire Mick, which was whatever, eats a Sock-O for his trouble and then "re-injures" or whatever a returning Seth Rollins, you know, one of their biggest superstars, THREE WEEKS BEFORE THE MANIA OF WRESTLING.

Alright, everyone calm? No? Well, at least I can skip the Let The Smark Out segment this week, because Smackdown Live, incredibly enough, was possibly even worse in terms of terrible authority figures, even if they at least serve a purpose beyond "Gotta get Steph and Hunter over."

So, there are two feuds on Smackdown Live that touch on Shane O'Mac and Daniel Bryan. The first, obviously, is AJ Styles vs. Shane. I'm going to skip the part about the build because it's covered below in my best moments of the week. But again, in kayfabe, AJ Styles absolutely has a point. That opening promo was like a fired-up babyface, pointing out all the ways he was wronged, and none of them are actually false or embellished or delusional, like you'd hope they'd be from a heel. Instead, he gets the crowd on his side and then goes to the back to wait for Shane O'Mac because he blames him for the conspiracy against AJ. And Shane, for some reason, on a two hour show that presumably required significant time preparing for in advance, doesn't arrive until we're like an hour in. Huh? Was dude just concerned about the non-title tag match and 205 Live (of which he's not an authority figure) going off without a hitch? Wrestling doesn't always have to hold up to intense scrutiny, but you should be able to at least think through the basics of a plotline without furrowing your brow. And if the story was, "Shane's a McMahon and doesn't have to give a shit about this job," then maybe they'd be onto something. But it's not, so they're not.

But I digress. Shane shows up, AJ beats his ass something fierce, to which the crowd cheers, Daniel Bryan fires AJ, to which the crowd boos, and then Shane gets the Monday Nitro NWO backstage cutaway during the "main event" which basically screams "we don't care about this match at all," and then puts himself against AJ in a match at Mania.

Now, maybe this could be mostly fine, and I'm not gonna pretend like I'm not way more hyped for this match now then I was a month agao, except for one other thing: We've seen countless wrestlers do terrible things backstage on Smackdown Live in recent months and not even get fined or suspended, let alone fired. Baron Corbin attacked Ambrose with a fucking forklift, Maryse beat Nikki Bella with a pipe or something, Dolph Ziggler was wailing on dudes with chairs, AND RANDY ORTON BURNED DOWN A MAN'S HOUSE. Corbin, Maryse, and Orton get matches at Mania, and AJ gets fired. Guys, we all know it’s one big scripted show, but consistency in the story has to matter at least a little bit or we’re just staging wrestling matches for no reason.. And also, no way does AJ get fired without Steph calling that dude in like .2 seconds and offering him a big old contract for Raw.

Alright, let's just move onto Daniel Bryan's role in Cena/ Nikki vs. Miz/ Maryse. Again, the build to this is mostly a lot of fun, but the authority figure, if you really think about it, is the worst. Miz has been rightfully murking Bryan on the mic for months ever since Bryan openly admitting during the draft that he didn't want Miz and then called him a coward a few weeks later on Talking Smack. Regardless of if you like Miz, Daniel, you deserve every bit of that verbal ethering you've gotten. And then on SDL, Bryan, as biased as they come in a feud that involves his sister-in-law and her boyfriend, books the match for Mania apparently against Miz's wishes after talking about how much he wants to punch Miz in the face. NOT IDEAL MANAGEMENT TALK, DANIEL.

Look, at the end of the day, much of this is done in the service of building feuds, and for the most part, I understand it (though not that Foley/ Steph stuff), but when you think about wrestling like it's a real show, and not with a winking nod at it being fake, the logic behind it falls apart, and that's just not good enough. But I guess what I’m really saying is, can we just get William Regal to take charge of both brands?

10 Best Moments of the Week

Shane O’Mac takes a bigger beating for a Smackdown Live backstage segment then Brock Lesnar took in his entire Mania match last year Shane continues to be a lunatic. That looked like a hell of a stiff whoopin’ he took from AJ, and as “meh” as I’ve felt about seeing the best wrestler in the world selling for Shane’s baby jabs, I can’t deny that this popped me.

That Austin Aries rolling elbow I mostly dislike that spinning lariat/ clothesline or elbow thing that a few different people do because they usually do it like Natalya where they spin, then have to step forward and throw the thing, thereby neutering the momentum of the move. Even Luke Harper doesn't do it very well. But Aries has the best one I've ever seen. When he comes out of the spin he is ON TOP of you and that elbow looks like it has extra oomph on it because of it.

Bringing back the Mick Foley/ Triple H blood feud It wasn't Rock/ Austin in terms of box office and hype, but the Foley/ Triple H feud, peaking with Cactus Jack's return, is probably my favorite feud for both men, and so I was getting a little worried when Trips was giving every appearance of absolutely neutering Mick, but I can't deny that there was a huge pop in my living room when the camera cut away from Mick apparently cowering in the corner of the ring but discreetly reaching for something in his pants. That was a good moment, though I felt less so about Trips getting to stand tall over Rollins at the end of the night, though at least that match is clearly on for Mania now.

SLAY MARYSE Wrestling feuds based on shootin’ are super tricky, but this Miz/ Maryse vs. Cena/ Bella feud continues to do the best job I’ve seen a feud do with “shooting” since, like, CM Punk. I have no idea how bad Maryse’s ring rust might be, but that genuinely seemed like a woman who is just going to punch Nikki in the face at Mania.

Dana Brooke, white bread baby face They stopped and started with this moment too much on the way there, but I'll be damned if Dana's goofy energy in the ring didn't get that crowd cheering for her. The timing seems odd to me given that we're a few weeks from Mania and Charlotte has much bigger fish to fry, but I'll allow the string to play out on this one and hope that they build on it and make her into the sort of mid-card babyface that isn't really present on either main roster.

Roman Reigns: Shithead heel I have no idea if they're actually doing this heel thing with Roman or if they're really content to let him wither and die in the middle, but R-double as a cocky, entitled dick throwing shade at Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker at once was a fascinating decision. Given that Undie has shown his own Bobby Hill-inspired heel tendencies as recently as the Lesnar follow-up feud, I wondered if maybe they were going to try and make the Dead Man play something of a bad guy here, but right now they are setting Roman up to get booed out of the goddamn building in Orlando.

Bray Wyatt... ewww I’m no big fan of any of the spooky stuff WWE does with Bray Wyatt because too often they half-ass it, and you can’t half-ass the mystical/ magical shit. It’s either real or it’s not. But Bray bathing in Sister Abigail’s ashes or what the fuck ever happened there was a billion times more memorable than the countless gaspy promos he’s done before about being the Eater of Worlds or something.

Sasha planting seeds I hope it happens, and I'm glad they're planting the seeds, but I hope they wait until after Mania for Sasha to even hint at hostilities towards Bayley. The night after Mania for a Sasha turn would cause just obscene levels of reaction.

William Regal, my dude That triple threat tag match at NXT: Orlando is now by far the odds-on favorite to be the match of Mania weekend. Adding that elimination stip is a fascinating stroke. It’s very unclear if any of these six guys are headed for the main roster anytime soon, so I could really see anyone coming out of there with the title, but I’d say the elimination piece makes AOP far more likely to retain. Still, that match should get 30 minutes if I have the say, and just be ten kinds of awesome.

Asuka stylin’ and profilin’ Asuka hanging by the pool, saying her catchphrases, and that entire segment, was a really good one for the champ. She’s never been more arrogant or looked better. I didn’t think they’d beat Ember on the way to the top, but I’m definitely starting to feel more like Asuka will retain and maybe go a little extra heel afterwards.

Let the Smark Out

I went overboard in the Theme of the Week on my smarky side, so I’m just going to list my two problems this week and not go too far in-depth about them here.

LOL Ziggler should be a meme at this point. I can’t believe how bad this heel turn has been.

The Club's self-inflicted words - Hey, Gallows and Anderson, in the words of CM Punk, "You need to watch the show." I'm actually debating making this into a weekly segment because I feel like WWE's characters way too often do the dumbest shit with the most obvious, self-inflicted outcome. And that's exactly what happened with Gallows and Anderson guaranteeing that Foley would put them in a Triple Threat match at Mania after interfering in the Sheamus/ Cesaro vs. Cass/ Enzo #1 Contender's match.

Let’s Rank Stuff

Two weeks to Mania and we’re so close that it’s pretty clear, with a couple possible exceptions, what the card will look like. So this week we’re ranking how long I expect the Mania matches to go, from longest to shortest. And keep in mind this is my prediction for how long the matches will actually last, not how long I want them to last.

Reigns vs. Undertaker (22 minutes)

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse (19 Minutes)

Triple H vs. Rollins (18 Minutes if Seth can go)

Corbin vs. Ambrose (17 Minutes because they go backstage and do goofy shit)

Jericho vs. Owens (16 Minutes)

Wyatt vs. Orton (15 Minutes)

AJ vs. Shane (15 Minutes because it takes time to set up a crazy Shane spot)

Charlotte vs. Bayley vs. Sasha (14 Minutes)

Sheamus/ Cesaro vs. The Club vs. Enzo and Cass (13 Minutes on the Pre-Show)

Neville vs. Aries (10 Minutes)

AMBAR (10 Minutes, longer if it goes to the Pre-Show)

Smackdown Women's Free For All (9 Minutes)

Lesnar vs. Goldberg (6 Minutes)

Match of the Week

Bobby Roode vs. Kassius Ohno for the NXT Championship - I was really torn between this and the 5-Way on 205 Live, but I have more to say about Ohno/ Roode, so I picked this one. I liked that they made Ohno look pretty good even as you knew there was no way he was winning. His offense looked and sounded stiff as hell, which I always appreciate out of a big dude. And Roode continues to just be smarter and survive by the skin of his teeth. But I also needed to talk about the elephant in the room: Ohno’s gear. That tightie-whitie and basketball jersey look was horrific. I have no problem with guys that aren’t as physically fit being really good at wrestling. I like the different body types. But the ring gear here is actively distracting and it’s going to hurt him.

Either put him in a pair of full-sized trunks that come up past the waist (think old school Dusty Rhodes) and let him wrestle shirtless, or get him pants and an actual shirt. Either option is fine, this option is atrocious.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Mania. Obviously, we’re headed towards Mania. But post-Mania, I’m nervous about how WWE might treat Smackdown Live. It’s been their best show for months, but change is a-comin’. Cena is reportedly taking time off, Nikki might be retiring, and word is the AJ Styles could be traded to Raw. That leaves an enormous gap at the top of the Smackdown card that I don’t see how they can fill without getting an enormous asset from Raw.

The top of the Raw card post-Mania would be: Brock, R-Double, BRAUN, KO, Finn, Styles, Rollins, SmoJo. And that’s without mentioning Sami, Cesaro, Sheamus, and Handsome Rusev. That roster is fuckin’ STACKED.

The top of the Smackdown card without Cena would be: Orton, Wyatt, Miz, Ambrose, and I guess Baron Corbin??? Yikes. If AJ goes to Raw and SDL doesn’t get like Seth and New Day in return (because let’s be honest, the rosters are already uneven), then they are completely setting Smackdown Live up for massive failure.

Do the right thing, WWE.

Hitting The Finisher

We saw the first concrete glimpse of a Sasha Banks heel turn on Raw this week. It was as fleeting as they come, an off-handed remark about "haters" intended to sew doubt in Bayley's mind, but NXT fans the world over had to be relishing it, dreaming of the inevitable moment on a future Raw when Sasha and Bayley are in the ring, perhaps yelling at a retreating Charlotte or Nia, when Bayley drifts a little ahead of Sasha, just far enough for Sasha to give her a quick stink eye and then... BAM! Backstabber into the Banks Statement. Even if WWE does its usual main roster, half-assed, telegraphing in the lead-up to such a moment, it will pop the hell out of the crowd and change the face of the Raw women's division for the better.

And yet I'm here to tell you that I hope they wait a while before they pull the trigger. Bayley seems incredibly likely to retain the title at Mania despite being the third best performer in the Triple Threat, and my guess is the night after Mania they pull the trigger on the Sasha turn. That crowd will eat it the fuck up.

But I hope they wait. If you want Bayley to retain the title, let Sasha hang at her side for a while, let her stay Bayley's friend out mutual respect. Maybe she helps Bayley survive a Nia feud post-Mania, while also feuding with Emma or someone from Smackdown that gets traded. The point is, let us get comfortable with Sasha and Bayley as friends, even as we all know that Sasha ultimately wants the title. Give Sasha multiple opportunities to turn, but never take it. Really build up the respect these two have for each other. Let Charlotte recruit a few others into a stable and let Sasha and Bayley withstand them, and then, pull the damned trigger after you're 110% sure you've earned it.

The Boss turning on Bayley should be heartbreaking. Right now it would just be predictable. Fun, yes, but emotional, no.