#pretty waitress who could definitely punch me in the face you are ruining my life and you dont even know it

[heymrstargazer]

the aroace struggle of liking people's looks and not knowing if it's an allo crisis or you just want to absorb it into your own aesthetic

[anythingbutmar]

My fucking idiot

Diego Hargreeves x reader

Summary: Five definitely fucked up somehow, thanks to that you were alone for a long time until you found Diego again, and now you had to go save his ass.

A/N: This was so fun to write! I genuinely loved this concept so so much so thanks anon!

Warnings: cursing, mentions of stalking, slight spiciness towards the end.

“What a fucking idiot.” You laughed as your coworker read a newspaper story about some guy that ended up in a mental hospital and had tried to break out several times. “So why did they take him in anyways?”

“Oh, he was rambling to everyone on the street about the president getting killed or something.” You instantly lifted your head from the cereal boxes you were holding. Could it be? You had landed alone and you didn’t know where the others were, but the only ones who knew JFK would die were those who came from the future, meaning Diego, his siblings, and you.

A wave of excitement came over your body as you thought about seeing a familiar face. “Can I see that?” He handed the newspaper and you almost dropped it. There he was, his hair and beard way longer than what you remembered but it was still him, the love of your life was staring back at you with that murderous look of his, and you knew exactly where to find him.

You took your apron off and ran out of the store. “Y/N what’s wrong?!” Your coworker screamed at you.

“That’s my fucking idiot!” You yelled back with tears streaming down your face.

You hadn’t expected to see him any time soon, in fact you thought you would never see him again but how could you not know the moment you heard that? Who else would try to stop the president from getting killed? Certainly not Klaus or Vanya.

You smiled to yourself at the thought of finding everyone, you missed them all, but the first stop was your boyfriend.

You had met Diego during one of his vigilante nights. You worked as a waitress at a bar which was pretty cool actually, you often had to endure catcalls but the payment was enough for your needs.

There was a problem though, your neighborhood was terribly dangerous, especially at the end of your shift, so that one night you were headed for your apartment, bag clutched under your arm when you noticed someone was following you. You started walking faster until you thought you lost them, but when you looked back there was a man pinned to the wall with some knives and another one punching him in the face. He ended up walking you home, and started doing so every night until one time he asked you out and you couldn’t say no, you fell for him the moment you saw him standing there with his funny looking suit and his angry eyes.

And of course, his ability with knives was quite... appealing, to say the least.

And so, after living together for a while he asked you to come with him to his dad’s funeral, which ended on you trying to stop the apocalypse with no special gifts or powers, which in turn ended up with you landing on an alley in 1962, completely alone.

As you stood by the doors of the asylum you thought of how much you’d love to have Allison’s rumor sometimes, at least with that you wouldn’t have to convince any guards of letting you in.

Or maybe you could use a different strategy...

You smiled mischievously as a young nervous nurse passed by your side, a rookie. “Perfect” you thought to yourself.

“Hey could you help me? I think I’m lost.” You gave her your most innocent look right before punching her on the jaw, just like Diego had taught you to.

You dragged her to an empty alley and stared at her angelic face, poor naïve little thing. You stripped, switching clothes with her and hiding her behind an old mattress before walking towards the hospital again, this time with a lot more confidence and an ID on your hand.

Doris it read. “Wish me luck, Doris.” You whispered to it as you were about to reach the gate. You might not have been Allison but you were a great liar, you just hoped that was enough to get you to your boyfriend.

Except, no one was there, there were no guards around and a loud siren started sounding along with gunshots. Gunshots? Shit. You started climbing the gates with the useless, uncomfortable nurse uniform, ripping the skirt and staining it with rust from the aged cold metal you were climbing.

You sighed when you reached the top worriedly looking at the silhouettes of some men with big ass shotguns. “No!” You screamed as you fell from the scare of more gunshots. Thankfully, you fell on top of mud, which stained you whole but prevented you from breaking your spine. You stood quickly and started running to where you saw the men in the windows because you just fucking knew if you found trouble, you would find Diego.

And you were right.

You had no idea of where you were, you had just ran underground behind some armed guards, but when you were finally able to catch up with them, they were gone, and instead you found him.

“Diego?” He turned around instantly at the sound of your voice, and ran towards you with tears in his eyes as soon as he saw you. You jumped on him and hugged him like never before, not giving three fucks about your makeup staining his white shirt or your skirt lifting over your butt.

“What are you doing here?” He exclaimed, not letting go of your form.

“I’m saving you, you dumbass!” You laughed as he set you down and placed his hands on your cheeks, as if he wanted to check if you were real.

“I hate to ruin this but we still have to run if we wish to live.” Said a girl with a british accent that you hadn’t noticed before.

“Who are you?” You asked as you took Diego’s hand and started following her.

“I’m Lila, and I believe you’re famous Y/N.” She gave you a wide smile that scared you a bit, you’d ask Diego about the fact that you were seemingly breaking out a crazy lady from the sanatory when you were alone.

After running for quite a while, Lila stole a car for you which finally gave you some space to talk things through.

“So how’d you find me?” He asked with genuine curiosity, the poor thing had no idea.

“Your face is on every newspaper baby, they’re calling you a cuban exile with hallucinations.”

“Cuban?” He seemed more offended by the nationality change than the other accusations, which you found a bit silly, if you were being honest.

“How long were you in there?” You worriedly ran your hands through his now shoulder length hair.

“A month or so, he caused quite some chaos, you know? That’s a wild one you got there girl.” Lila answered for him making you laugh, you were starting to take a liking to the strange woman.

“You look so damn hot on that uniform.” He mouthed to you so Lila wouldn’t notice his dirty talk.

“Wait till you see what’s underneath.” You mouthed back winking at him and smiling as he raised his eyebrows.

You took his hand and rubbed circles on it, knowing everything would be fine now that you were together.

[heeeeeyadora]

The Dates: Catradora

Follow-up from: Finally, A First Date

“Hurry up, Catra! You look fine!” Catra was tugged at her shirt and regretted that she let Bow dress her. 

“Why did I take fashion advice from Bow? Love the guy, but does he ever get cold?”

Adora grabbed Catra’s hand and pulled. Catra looked at their hands together and smiled. This was real and she never got tired of Adora holding her hand like this. She pulled Adora closer to her, slowing her down. 

“What, Catra?” In all of her rushing, she hadn’t noticed how amazing Catra looked under the night sky. She stopped and turned facing Catra. “Can you believe we’re here?” A shyness came over Catra. 

“At the roller derby?” She joked to hide her vulnerability. 

“Here. Together. As an us. I fantasized about this since we were younger but I didn’t think it would happen.” Adora rested her hand on Catra’s face, bringing it closer to hers. Catra, I love --”

“Get a room!” A familiar husky voice cut through the sounds of car engines. It was Huntara. 

“Huntara!” Adora’s voice squeaked as she dropped Catra’s hand and began waving. The loss of Adora’s hand in that moment stung! Catra’s ears stood straight up. She began sizing Huntara up. “What are you doing here?” Adora yelled to Huntara. 

“My girl plays on the same team as Frosta. You met her before. Remember when we first met?” Huntara was now in front of Adora and Catra. She looked at them, sensing they were on a date. “You know, when you rushed over to my table to meet me. My girl was the waitress. You pushed her out the way and had that starry look in your eyes.” Catra knew that look. Adora looked at her like that. Catra looked at Adora. She was blushing! Catra’s tail started tapping on the ground and she was counting to keep from pouncing. Perfuma had taught her this as a way to manage her anger.

“I just needed your help in the Crimson Waste.” Adora rolled her eyes and laughed. 

“And I was glad I could help.” Huntara looked at Catra and smiled. “See you ladies inside.” Adora waved. 

“That was sweet and random. We’re going to be late!” Adora grabbed Catra’s hand again and pulled her along as they went into the stadium. Catra was burning with jealousy. She kept trying to push it down and pretend like she was fine. What did Huntara mean by, “Glad I could help?” and “Starry eyes.” Catra never thought about Adora being with anyone else besides her. Why did Adora drop her hand so quickly! She didn’t even tell Huntara they were on a date. They were together. They were an us. 

“Catra! Catra!” Adora snapped Catra out of it. “Do you want popcorn or no?” Catra hadn’t realized they were at the concessions stands already. 

“Y-yes! Your choice.” Catra sounded more cheerful than usual. She was trying to mask her hurt. 

“You ok?” Adora sounded worried.

“Yea, I’m fine. Just order the food.” The mask was wearing thin. Adora could tell Catra had something on her mind but figured they would talk about it later. She didn’t want to ruin their date.

They sat in the stands and cheered as the teams came rolling out. Frosta and the Razor Bladez stormed out, Frosta leading the pack. Adora and Catra cheered wildly. “Oh, I think that’s Huntara’s girlfriend. She’s pretty hot,” Adora said casually. 

“Pretty hot?!”

“Yea, they all are. I mean look at this place. It’s queerer than well...us!” Adora laughed and leaned in to kiss Catra’s cheek. Catra turned away. “Catra --”

“I didn’t know you looked at other girls like that.” 

“Like what?” Adora started to feel annoyed at the accusations.

“With those idiot starry eyes.”

“Ugh, why can’t you just enjoy being here? Everything has to be so dramatic and a fight with you. Yes, Catra! Yes, I find other people attractive but I’m here with you.”

“And Huntara.” Adora became angry. 

“Are you being serious? Yea, she’s here for her GIRLfriend, Catra. HER GIRLFRIEND! You know, like you’re MY GIRLFRIEND.”

“Don’t do that, Adora. Don’t talk down to me. You sound like--”

“Don’t!” 

Catra spoke under her breath but Adora definitely heard it, “Shadow Weaver.” The moment it came out, Catra regretted it. She looked at Adora. Tears were forming around the corner of her eyes. “Adora.” She wouldn’t look Catra’s way. “Adora.” There was some desperation in Catra’s voice as she reached for Adora’s hand. Adora didn’t move it but didn’t hold Catra’s hand back. She didn’t have the energy to. It took everything for Adora to not storm out. She stared straight ahead. Catra couldn’t believe what she had said. She didn’t know what to do next and she was hurt too. She focused on the game.

They continued to watch the game in silence only making noise to cheer for Frosta. Frosta was a beast in the game. She was her team’s lead jammer and would move with so much skill and precision. She also welcomed the opportunity to bump players. She had gotten one penalty already for punching someone. Both Adora and Catra felt proud of her. The teams were taking a break and Adora asked if Catra wanted anything from concessions. She asked for a drink but said she could get it herself. Adora insisted she could go, so she did. 

Adora seemed to be gone for a while. Catra’s worry turned to jealousy. She began scanning the crowd for Huntara. Where had she disappeared to? With so many unknowns, Catra started to fill in the blanks. Adora and Huntara were somewhere together! Catra stood up and swore she would fight Huntara! She went to concessions and didn’t see Adora or Huntara. She circled the stadium, nothing. She turned around to go back to her seat and found Huntara and her girlfriend making out. So where was Adora? 

Catra walked outside and saw Adora on the curb, sobbing. She hesitated to approach her. “Adora.” Adora startled at her name. Catra sat next to her. “Everyday I can’t believe you chose me. Me!? No one chooses me.” Adora looked up at her.

“I do and I always have.” Catra knew this was true and couldn’t believe she let her jealousy ruin their first date. She thought about what she should say next. She just wanted to hold Adora but she was still angry. 

“Tell me what you need from me to make this better and I’ll do it. I’m sorry I compared you to Shadow Weaver. I was hurt and took it too far.” Catra hesitated to say more but she was never good and just holding things in. “You dropped my hand when you saw Huntara. Did-do you like her?”

“Years ago when I met Huntara I was into her. Nothing came of it, but, yes, I liked her. Not how I like you, though, Catra. Not how I love you. I love you and I don’t know how else to prove it to you.” Adora sniffled. “Before we left Glimmer was freaking out because I hadn’t planned anything ‘BIG’ for us to do. I was excited to just spend time with you. Every moment that I get to love you feels ‘BIG.’” 

Tears rolled down Catra’s face. She believed Adora and still there was a part of her, the part that never felt lovable, couldn’t take it in. What she did know was that she loved Adora too. “I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you.” They both looked at each other and started laughing as they wiped tears. 

“Are we always going to be this dramatic? We love as hard as we fight.” Adora said and she held Catra’s hand. Looking at their hands together Adora remembered how she hurt Catra earlier. “Let’s go!” Without much explanation Adora marched back into the stadium hand in hand with Catra. “Huntara!” Adora interrupted Huntara and her girlfriend. Her girlfriend rolled her eyes.

“Catra and I are together.”

“I see that,” Huntara grumbled, annoyed by the interruption. 

“No, I mean we are dating. We love each other. She’s my girlfriend. We share a bed. We kiss!”

“Oooookaay, last time I checked we were at a roller derby not a confessional.” Huntara laughed. Adora realized how extra she was being but she had already committed to this. 

“We are a couple who do couple things. We’ll probably get married. Have kids. We haven’t talked about it, yet.” Adora looked at Catra who was wide-eyed. “We can circle back to that later. All I want to say is-- Catra and I are on a date. I am proud to be with her. I love her. I will choose her in every lifetime we get to spend together.” Adora turned to Catra and kissed her softly. Catra’s ears folded down. She was Adora’s. 

“Well we’re going to use this lifetime to get away from you weirdos.” Huntara laughed heartily at her own words. “I’m kidding. I’m glad you two have each other. You’re very cute together.” Catra and Adora both blushed. “Now do you girlfriends want to come and finish watching the game with me.” 

Adora looked at Catra. She was beaming. That’s all she really needed.

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Perfectly Unexpected Colson Baker X Reader

Word Count: 2,250

Warnings: None kinda fluffy lol

There weren’t many things in life you genuinely didn’t like - all in all, you considered yourself a positive person. But you wouldn’t be a human being living in a modern society without ever coming across some aspects of life you could definitely do without.

Like Brussel sprouts, for example. Or ingratitude. Or, when looking at society as a whole, phenomenons like social injustice. Sure, you weren’t a perfect person, and you certainly didn’t want to end up as a hypocrite pointing fingers at others while simultaneously not practicing what you preached.

Yet that certainly didn’t stop you from standing up for your beliefs in front of others - a character trait which kept your circle of friends relatively small, but that was fine with you. Having a handful of truly trustworthy and honest people in your life was better than having a few thousand superfacial acquaintances – at least to you, it was.

Besides the previously mentioned things, there was something else you really, really didn’t like.

Blind Dates.

Now, of course blind dates weren’t generally a bad thing. But, much like listening to a song over and over again until you came to hate it eventually, blind dates had been pretty much ruined for you.

All thanks to your best friend, Jewels. You loved her, you adored her, but sometimes, you just really wanted to strangle her. More times than you could recall, she’d convinced you to go on a blind date with a guy of her choice. Each time, you’d tried to talk her out of it, but she would have none of it – and in the end, she was more persistent and you were too much of a harmony junkie to rebuff her.

The first few times, you’d been genuinely excited for your dates. When it came to dating and relationships, you were pretty “old school” – you loved the concept of meeting someone through shared interests, the idea of fateful encounters – of romance just in general, really. Of course you weren’t naïve enough to believe in something as ridiculous as the concept of “love at first sight” (well, maybe you were, but you certainly wouldn’t tell anyone about it).

Yet you still couldn’t help letting your expectations running rampant in those few seconds before your blind date would eventually walk in and crush all of them within mere minutes.

One time, Jewels had set you up with a guy she’d met on the subway – seriously, who does that? – and while he’d seemed interesting enough at first, he’d proceeded to shamelessly flirt with and swoon over all of the female waitresses and fellow guests during your date, leaving you sitting there to mend your wounded pride while he ended up getting punched in the face by the boyfriend of a lady whom he confessed his “eternal love” to.

Another time, you’d ended up with a man who was quite a few years your senior, but other than that, pretty much the full package – beautiful red hair, a few scars that only added to his charm, a stunning smile, and some humor on top of all that. It could’ve been perfect – had you not found out about his wife and child by coincidence a few days later.

You could vividly remember how furious you’d been and how Jewels had sincerely apologized, assuring you that she’d just met the guy through mutual friends and that she’d had no idea about his little double life.

But none of that was quite as devastating as your latest blind date – and, as you’d promised yourself after that evening, your last. You should’ve known something was wrong with the guy as soon as he managed to use about 10 different curse words within the first five minutes of conversation. But you didn’t want to seem snobbish or superficial, so you’d tried to give him a fair chance.

Well, let’s just say he managed to start a fight with an entire group of men seated at the table next to you, and the evening had ended with you being questioned by the police. Yikes.

After all those experiences, you were pretty sure any sane person would never agree to go on a blind date ever again, let alone one set up by your best friend. But alas, either you were suffering from temporary insanity, or Jewles was just some kind of witch, because yet again, she’d managed to convince you.

At least this time, you wouldn’t be alone – since your blind date tonight was actually her boyfriend’s friend/bandmate, Jewels and Rook would be accompanying the both of you, making it a double date. According to your best friend, Rook’s friend was none other than the infamous Machine Gun Kelly!

You and Jewels were currently getting ready before meeting up with the boys at the restaurant.

“Jewels, I don’t want to go, please don’t make me!” you whined.

“You already said yes, (Y/N)! I can’t just call it off now!” Jewels answered, munching on some marshmallows she’d brought with her. “Besides, you’re gonna love Colson, he’s perfect for you!”

“Yeah, well, according to you, all the other guys were perfect, too,” you deadpanned.

Jewels just rolled her eyes at you. “Yeah, but Colson is Rook’s friend and brother, and let's be honest, my boyfriend is pretty damn hot.”

Is she for real right now?

You couldn’t help but laugh at your friend’s brazenness.

“Ok, first of all, that doesn’t even make sense, since you already told me they’re not blood-related. Second of all, looks aren’t everything, and lastly: EW! He’s YOUR boyfriend, I’ve told you before that automatically turns him into a neutral being I wouldn’t ever think about in a sexual way! Like … a nice fruit basket!”

“Well you do know fruit baskets can potentially include bananas, and-“

You groaned. “Why are we friends again?”

“Because you love me. Now hurry up and get dressed, or we’re gonna be late!” 

A little while later...

You had taken a little longer to get ready than usual, since, unlike all the other times before, Jewels hadn’t given you advice on what to wear to impress your date.

“Just… be yourself, I think that’ll impress him.”

Maybe this date wasn’t going to be as disastrous as all the others. Maybe, just maybe, this guy was actually different. Or maybe you were just a hopeless romantic born in the wrong century.

You were just about to enter the restaurant when Jewles let out a loud squeal, making you turn around to see the guys arrive.

Looks Aren't Everything,don't be super facial,stay calm-

HOLY shit.

Blonde, shaggy hair, the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes you’d probably ever seen, and a scar… he was undeniably handsome.

You swallowed. Suddenly, you were feeling just a little more nervous than minutes before.

Ok, a lot more nervous.

He politely greeted Jewles before turning over to you. But instead of shamelessly checking you out, like some of your previous date had done, he simply smiled at you, keeping eye contact the entire time.

“Yo, I’m Colson, nice to meet you.” He held out his hand. Ok, this guy was way more polite than you would’ve expected.

And a lot cuter.

Shut up, brain!

“Nice to meet you, too. I’m (Y/N), but I’m sure you already knew that.”

He laughed quietly. It was a soft, warm sound, and you knew immediately you wanted to hear it again. “I do, actually. I hope you’re not uncomfortable with those two” – he pointed over at Rook and Jewles, who were still busy eating each others faces – “setting us up.” Even though it was already quite dark outside, you could make out just the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

Adorable.

“N-No, it’s alright, I’m actually quite glad that it’s with someone like you.” A second later, you realized how that had sounded, blushing profusely. “Oh my god, that sounded so superficial, I apologize. I’m just- uhm… a little nervous.” You smiled in what you hoped was a genuine way (and prayed it didn’t make you look as idiotic as you felt).

“Don’t worry, I know what you meant. I’m a little nervous, too, actually.” He reached up to scratch his neck.

You were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you. Turning around, you were met with a shit-eating grin from Jewles.

“So, should we go inside or do you two lovebirds need another minute?”

A while later…

“What?! So you’re saying that even though you love music, you’ve never been to one a live show?” Colson asked you excitedly.

“No, I haven’t. I’m just not a big fan of large crowds, you know? Makes me kind of anxious.”

He shook his head in mock disapproval, making you giggle. “No, this will not stand. Next time I’m going, I’m taking you with me. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you, so don’t worry.”

You blushed. After the initial awkwardness, you and Colson had basically been talking non-stop for the last hour or so. Jewles had been right – for the first time ever on a blind date, you were able to just be yourself, and feel comfortable doing so. Colson not only shared many interests and ideals, he was also incredibly charming and polite. Even though you wouldn’t admit it out loud – at least not to Jewles, who kept wiggling her eyebrows each time you looked her way – this was completely different from your previous dates.

The scar covering his eye had been caused by an accident, which had taken place while shooting off guns during down time, and he’d also told you a lot about his love for his other band mates. Apparently, they are very close.

“So, what do you want to do after you’re done with this tour?” you asked, taking another sip from your drink.

He cocked his head slightly, taking a moment to think. “Uhm, I’m actually not sure. I’ve done a couple of projects, so there’s quite a few directions I could potentially go in, but I actually like the idea of just living in the moment. Career is important and all, but so many people just forget to have fun along the way, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I couldn’t agree more! And even if you make tons of plans, who says they’ll actually work out in the end? Life’s full of surprises, anyway.”

“It is, indeed.” The way he looked at you just then made you think he was referring to you, or this… whatever this was or could be, and it made you smile like an idiot and blush as red as a tomato at the same time.

Left completely dumbfounded, you were desperately trying to come up with some sort of witty answer, but had no idea what to say. He just smiled, still looking at you, before asking: “Hey, uhm.. you want to go get some fresh air for a second?”

Feeling clueless as to why he’d ask but somehow also excited, you got up immediately.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” Jewles asked, looking as self-satisfied as ever.

“We’re just going to get some fresh air, we’ll be back in a second,” you replied, unable to keep blushing yet again when your best friend simply cocked an eyebrow as an answer.

Once the two of you were outside, you took a deep breath before looking at him, really looking at him. Your heart started beating faster and you were feeling like a teenager who was crushing on someone for the first time, despite only having just met this man.

You were royally screwed.

He looked right back at you, and smiled before scratching his neck once more.

“I’d actually really like to kiss you right now,” he said, taking all your breath away with just one sentence. “But I’m not going to, because this evening – no, you, have been so perfect and I don’t wanna ruin it by moving too fast.” You both spent a moment in comfortable silence before he added: “Uh, that is, if you’re even feeling the same way.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Colson, do you really need to ask?”

He chuckled. “I guess not.” He took a look at his watch before grinning cheekily. “So, why don’t we get out of here?”

“O-out of here? Why- I mean where would we go?”

“Doesn’t matter. We could go look for a place that still sells ice cream at his hour, or just drive around in circles all night while talking about whatever we want. What do you say?”

Well, that was unexpected. And a little reckless. But you couldn’t say you didn’t like it.

“But, uhm… what about the other two?” you asked, slightly unsure if it would be alright to simply ditch your friend.

“I think they’re going to be just fine on their own, don’t you think?”

You took a look through the glass windows to see Jewles and Rook sharing what was probably the biggest pizza you’d seen in your entire life.

Colson was right – they’d be just fine.

He held out his hand for you, and you took it, immediately intertwining your fingers with his.

As the two of you started running down the street to his car, giggling and laughing like little kids, you couldn’t help but think that maybe, you hadn’t been born in the wrong century, after all.

[gremlinquisitor]

"Blind date set up by friends" for characters of your choice for the DWC!

prompt list

Thank you so much for sending this in!

for @dadrunkwriting

Bellial Adaar/Blackwall, ~1500 words. Warning for alcohol consumption; one kiss and some pretty heavy implication that the night is going to end with them in bed together. Some sort of vague modern AU kind of thing.

Read it here on AO3

A flush creeps up Thom’s neck until it’s prickling under his beard, warmth flooding his skin as his eyes move up, up, and yet still higher up. Sera said that this friend of hers was tall, and she wasn’t joking. Even leaning on the bar she’s at least half a head above anyone else, with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. Dark jeans hug soft hips, and the top she’s wearing hangs loose, with a low back that shows off part of a tattoo that trails up along her shoulder and down her left arm. 

“Fucking hell, Sera. Warn a man next time.” He drags a hand back through his hair and smooths the front of his shirt as he makes his way across the bar room towards her. The tinny Top 40 coming from hidden speakers fades as he gets closer, all his focus on trying to make a good first impression. For a date he’d grumbled about and begrudgingly agreed to go on, he suddenly wants very much for this to go well. 

He clears his throat and squares his stance behind her, keeping some distance. “Excuse me, are you Bellial?”

The figure at the bar straightens, confirming his hopes. White hair spills off her shoulder in loose waves when she turns to look at him, eyes so blue they’re almost purple darting over his face and front so quickly that he half expects to bleed from the cuts. He opens his mouth to stumble over an apology when her expression softens, deep crimson lips curling to a smile.

“Only if you’re Blackwall,” she answers, smooth and low, her gaze now lingering on him and doing nothing to stop the heat that rolls under his skin in renewed waves, a heavy mix of nerves and hope. “Sera mentioned a beard, but there’s… a lot she left out.”

He chuckles, looking down and shaking his head. “I’m glad she remembered that much. I know I’m not her type.” The name still feels new to him, and it’s like sand in his eye to hear her say it, but he’s not about to correct her, either. This is who he will be now.

Bellial laughs at his reply, a huff of air through her nose, short but genuine. “No, but you’re definitely mine. She wasn’t wrong there.”

The combination of her laugh and the comment is a one-two punch that leaves him breathless. There was a time when he could talk almost anyone he wanted into bed, but those days are behind him, and he has to fight to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth as he desperately tries to remember how to flirt. It used to be so easy, but none of them ever looked like her, either.

“No, she wasn’t, was she?” He smiles, and she smiles back, and for a moment he lets himself think maybe this won’t be one more thing he ruins. He’s a different man now, for better or for worse.

The moment hangs between them, each of them silently acknowledging the interest behind the statements. Bellial moves first, one arm curling back to the bar to collect her glass, still half-full of some dark ale.

“What are you drinking?” She asks. “I can get you something and we can find a table.”

She’s already turning away, and he reaches out to set a hand on the small of her back to stop her. “No, please. You have to at least let me buy you a drink.”

Her eyes trail up his arm to meet his gaze, and he’s just about to pull away when she settles back into the touch. “It’s my treat. I bartend here like every other weekend, once a month, whenever they need me, so I get to drink for free. It’s why I suggested this place.”

She’s warm under his fingertips, and it takes a conscious effort for him to pull his hand away. “Bold move. What if we hated each other after ten minutes?”

“Then you would know to never come here again. And if it turned out you were the creepy type, we have people to deal with that too.” She flashes him a grin that borders on a snarl. “But I figure Sera would’ve clocked that and then this night wouldn’t be happening, so.”

She shrugs with one shoulder and nods towards the bar again. He gives the taps a cursory glance, then nods towards her glass. “I’ll have what you’re having.”

Bellial smiles and shouts to Cabot, the bartender, and two more rounds appear on the bar in short order. She’s gathered them in her hands before he has a chance to protest--”Bartender, remember?”--and he can do little more than follow after her to a booth at the back of the bar. 

The place has a sort of rustic charm, with menus printed on heavy paper set on clipboards at each table, and sturdy cutlery in a metal bucket tucked away near the wall. Bellial sets the drinks out and slides into one side of the booth, and after a moment’s indecision, Thom slides in to the side opposite. 

After they sit, conversation gets easier, and Thom can only marvel at Sera’s matchmaking ability. It’s rare he meets someone with a sense of humor that makes him blush, but Bellial jokes right along with him, dark and dirty. She works as private security, and she’s firm but kind when she tells him that it’s none of his business who she protects. She doesn’t flinch at his being ex-military and still not sure what to do with his life. 

“I’m good with my hands,” he explains as a short, dark-haired waitress drops off two enormous cheeseburgers. Thom watches as she raises her brows at Bellial, who only smiles and pops her own eyebrows in reply.

“I’ll bet you are,” she replies under her breath as her friend sidles away, and Thom’s well-practiced explanation about trying to find a job in construction dies in his mouth. There’s embers in her eyes when she catches his gaze again before picking up her burger. 

Her foot drags up the inside of his leg under the table and he almost bites through his lip. “Let a man eat, Belle!” He sighs, laughing even as that same flush races over his skin again.

“Just making sure you have room for dessert,” she purrs.

He doesn’t dare ask what she means, unsure if he’s more worried about being right or being wrong. It’s been… a while since he was with anyone, and while he won’t deny his interest, the thought brings nerves along with it. 

They sit and continue talking long after their plates are cleared away, the table slowly filling with empty glasses. He’s not sure which round it was when she decided to sit on his side of the booth with him, but she’s settled in beside him, his arm slung up on the back of the booth, not quite around her shoulders. They’re the only ones still there, save for Cabot, who’s doing a poor job of not glaring at them as he wipes down the bar again.

“What do you say we get out of here?” Her breath is warm on his skin, and her hand slides along the inside of his thigh under the table. The touch is so unexpected that he has to stop himself from jumping at it. “Head back to your place for a nightcap.”

He can only manage a nod and a low hum in reply. Sometime during the night he’d mentioned living around the corner, not once thinking that that could lead to this. He’d come prepared to have a mediocre evening and then leave alone, but Bellial is electric, and he won’t pretend that her sensuality and unguarded attraction to him isn’t sexy as hell. As she stands and offers him her hand to pull him to his feet, he does his best to recall if he left anything damning out in plain sight. He wouldn’t want an errant pair of dirty briefs to be the reason he never sees her again.

“‘Night, Cabot,” she calls as they make their way out into the chill of the late evening air. As soon as they’ve passed the windows of the bar, Bellial turns and pulls him to her, backing them up against the brick wall and dragging him in for a kiss. It’s messy and imprecise and she shows none of the caution he imagined from a first kiss. He can feel the heat and the need of it, with her hand curling in his hair, the other pulling on his belt to bring him even closer. He grabs at her hips, welcoming it when she tilts her head to deepen the kiss.

Bellial breaks first, breathing hard and watching him with shining eyes. She swipes her thumb across her lower lip and grins at him. “Come on, show me where we’re going, and I’ll show you how far down my tattoo goes.”

“Let it never be said that I refused a lady’s request,” he replies, stepping back and gesturing with his arm to lead them up the street towards his apartment. 

[kaytymfknelise-blog]

I have no idea what I am doing

So, i had this bright idea to make a blog. I guess the idea behind this is to just let people know there is hope, even though life is hard, and fast, and confusing af.  So, I guess today I’m just gonna spew off who i am and how i got to this point.  So the first thing you should all know is that i am a lifestyle coach. My mission is to inspire people and help them get through the rough stuff, cause I’m like a pro at it.  Also, I am an addict in recovery.  I had a serious 5 year love affair with heroin.  They told me during my 4 months in rehab that 1. relapses happen and 2. Don’t expect anything to work out the way you think, don’t depend on ANYTHING but yourself.  Well, I was 25 then and i knew more then them, obviously! I wasn’t ready to grow.  I was ready to learn, but i was definitely in control of my life and knew all the right things.  (this is sarcasm, for those of you a bit confused) So I left rehab and killed the mother fucking game for 6 months.  Then I moved closer to my old stomping grounds, went to a bonfire and got mixed up with some old friends, and some new ones.  The night ended with me being to drunk to remember how I got home, or who my new boyfriend was.  That new boyfriend did coke, which I’d done when i was like in high school, but hadn’t touched it in years, I didn’t then either, but the seed was planted. After he dumped me and tried to hand me off to one of his friends, I felt like shit, so I asked for coke. Instead I found crack.  In 3 months I went from 100% sober to being the worst junkie i had ever been. My dealers hated me cause I was annoying as fuck, but they would benefit by the end, so fuck em’. My husband (now ex-husband) decided he would start selling crack! Brilliant idea when your wife is a crack fiend.  Then this dude left me in charge of his night sales, cause I obviously didn’t sleep. Well I smoked all the crack - can you believe it?  We were broke, I was a terrible human, I had lost myself for the billionth time, but this time I had 6 months sober, so I knew this was possible.  Recovery is different for everyone, for me my environment is a huge factor, I have to completely relocate to maintain my sobriety. So after 5 years of my mom begging for me to come to Maine, I finally go. (worst. decision. ever. but we will get there!). So now i am a very recent ex stripper, covered in tattoos, with purple hair-in the most judgemental place I have ever been. Well to say I stood out would be a massive understatement. I mean the way spanish and black dudes look at white chicks with nice butts; that's how these conservative bible humpers looked at me. I had never seen anything like it, and i was a white girl with a nice butt in the hood, so Ive gotten looks! It didn’t take me long to get a job and get myself out there, I colored my hair black (boring), took out my piercings (lame), and stopped wearing high heels (why?). But I was a waitress, I was sober,making bank, had a beautiful family I was pretty happy.  4 years go by, I get yet another boyfriend (I’m way divorced by this point), who decides to punch my kitchen window out. Well, apparently in the state of Maine when you call the police because you feel unsafe, they take away your kids.  So, here I am  soberish (wine is a thing) with no kids, and no clue wtf just happened.  So, when your manic bipolar and your life is falling apart you do some crazy shit, have sex with everyone (my personal fave), spend all your money (I like this one too), Pick up and move your entire life within like 7 hours (this one is fun as well). So I found the biggest, baddest, “sexiest” dude I could.  He spent 20 years in prison, was a felon, no job, no car - ya know, a real winner.  Well this man, I don’t know what it was about him, but my god he has a knack for ruining fucking lives, or getting you to ruin your own is probably more accurate. Well, this asshole brings a bag of heroin IN MY FUCKING HOUSE and offers it to me.  So I’m the type of junkie that if i cant IV that shit, ill pass - that’s wasting.  Well when you have fake balls you have to shoot testosterone, how convenient. Now I’m banging dope after 4 YEARS sober *face palm*.  Well this dude and my best friend of 3 years fucked in my bed and left together, their still together tho, so there’s a positive?  Well, losing my best friend was fucking HARD; I mean that girl was my WHOLE LIFE, like I cant even explain the closeness I *thought* we had. So guess what I did? Heroin, that’s what. Did that shit 2 more times, then was like dude, wtf are you doing!? I stopped for awhile, but when the state took my kids, one went to her dad - so I had to go to CT to see her.  So I pull into Hartford, CT (this is my biggest trigger, i know exactly where to get everything I need, quickly. I avoid Hartford at all costs).  So, I pull in and my original plans fell through, so I called my friend to chill, but upon arrival that also fell through. Bad bad news.  So I go shoot up, and overdose. this being the THIRD time I ODd, and the worst biggest fuck up because my kid wasn’t far. Hate me all ya want, It was horrible and disgusting, I agree - but it happened. About 4/5 days before my overdose I joined this amazing group of ladies, all rocking their businesses, getting fit, and being GENUINELY happy.  When I saw this, I knew I wanted it.  When I overdosed, I knew I needed it. Fast forward to today, its been a month or so since that horrific day, I have a med card so besides bud I haven’t put anything substance like in my body.  I have lost 16 pounds, my energy levels are higher then ever, my mental state is definitely improved, anxiety is down, depression altered a bit, def still bipolar but managing fabulously, considering the circumstances.  I still cry, I carry guilt, I feel weird being in a home with no children, things are by no means perfect, but EVERYDAY, I wake up, I show up, and i implement practices and habits to make my life better and be my best self.  I surround myself with ladies that respect themselves, and other women.  I relocated from that shitty little judgmental town. I live in a place that's more “city” and I can tell you for the first time ever I am looking at the POSITIVES, and only that.  I refuse to let anything negative around me; it still hits, people still try, but I have learned to pull my energy away from that.  After 4 years sober, the sobriety doesn't scare me at all, It is how quickly you can go right back is something you denied so strongly, and fought so hard to end up at what feels like the beginning, but life will always teach you. So, I think I am writing this blog because I need to hold myself accountable, I need somewhere to be honest, and my life since about 16 has been anything but easy; I’m here to reassure you, you can do this, you can come out on the other end, all you have to do is show up! Today I am alive, and free, and I have a good life! xo.

[tepoghrapchicalerror]

The Sax that didn't suck

It was already 7:30 Surprisingly, good songs were playing but I can't help to seem look at my phone every two seconds. It already been two hours since I wanted to book a ride. I made sure I got to finish what I have to and leave work on time so I wouldn't be late but then it was freaking Friday. The rain made even made it more impossible to get a ride. I was jittery, I cant help but become anxious. I tried relaxing but because of the iced coffee I drank, I got my nerves clicking. The only card I have left is too book a six-seater ride. I paused and thought of it a couple of more. And i said to myself, "what the fvck self, you gotta decide quick" and then with hesitations pushed aside, I finally got myself a ride to Kamuning. It was smooth ride, the car had a lot of room for it was a Mitsubishi Adventure. I just felt a little cringy when the driver gave me unsolicited advice about relationships-- apart from his misogynist remarks on women, he gave comments on how a girl like me should spend my Friday evenings with a weather like that and a classic one, he even asked me who I was going to meet at a very notorious place. I didn't wanna ruin my night so I decided to shrug everything off as after a few minutes, I finally saw the sign, "77 Bar and Cafe". The place looked much different on the outside facade  if I were to base on their photos on Zomato. But the rustic, almost barnyard look, with a little bit of chic look, I knew I made the right step.

I fixed my hair,l and held my shit together, took a deep breath and took my first step on the wooden staircase. It was put on my relief that there was a mezzanine before the main hall that got me extra seconds to compose myself for I was feeling a bit nervous. It smelled like worn and torn wood that have absorbed all the cigarette smoke puffed by people in the terraza. I took another breath, I hope the door wouldn't sound so creaky for I didn't want any attention. I only seen the place on photos I've scanned through on Zomato and I have never thought we'd be meeting here until that day.

I popped my head first to look. I scanned the area first to get a good view of the whole place, definitely warm but kinda put down with the music level they played but all good. After adapting to the environment, I finally looked at the left corner as how I was told. There's this anticipation of how the night shall start and how it will be but all that flush down when I saw a guy wearing a brown denim jacket sitting on a creaky metal chair. Judging by his back profile, I knew it was him, I knew that he would be good looking.

I didn't think, instead, I silently walked to where he was. I tried mustering all the alibi or prolly the opening line that would make him feel at ease or rather, I feel at ease. With a few seconds to spare, I glared at his side profile, then I got mini fluttery feeling inside me. He was wearing a close-to-disappointed face as he focused his attention on the bucket of San Miguel Pale Pilsen.

I almost got stuck then my mouth finally opened, "I'm so sorry I am late!" , as I draw close to the couch, I saw a bright smile welcome me. His hair was short but not too short. He have that 4 am shadow that accentuates hi jaw line even more. I can't help but stare at his pronounced nose and his glowing pair of eyes. Before I got myself drooling, I finally extended a hand, and said, "Josh right? Finally good to meet you." And he grabbed my right hand and responded wit a very nasally voice, "Nice to meet you, Steff". It seemed I was pretty cool on the outside but I was panicking on the inside! No one told me he'd be this cute in real life. I don't know where I get my punch lines but I had to crack something out to relax my capillaries. "My name isn't actually Steff, it's Godo." And he laughed, I laughed a bit knowing he got the joke.

What made me anxious wasn't really meeting him but actually the light beaming from a lamp clamp to the ceiling. It felt that my purging cheeks were under interrogation. After opening my first bottle of beer, I knew we had to transfer to the couch so I could be downright comfortable in dealing with this absurd situation. I tried bargaining with the waitress but unfortunately, business minds’ power took over and said all the couches were apparently, “reserved” which were all empty until we left at 2 am by the way.

I got a good view of how tall he was, kind of a 6, I also noticed he was wearing a sling bag that reminded me of one of my friends back in high school. This nerdy scene got me cringe a little on the inside for I thought he’s the just cool type of guy. And what I thought was a sliver necklace that trapped some of strands of hair. I honestly thought that he'd be more of a nerd than actually cool but I think I have to give him a chance. I asked to be excused, I wanted to see how I looked and calm the fuck down, I planned my next moves.

Judging by his back profile, I knew it was really him. I walked to where he was, I saw him staring at a bucket of San Mig Pale like a person who looks like who have been stood up. I felt somewhat guilty for being late even if he told me to stay calm and it wasn't any of our faults that the rain came to ruin what we have originally planned, at least just the meeting time at least. I quickly thought of what I would say to him first, I was shaking, I can feel my hyperhidrosis trying to betray me once again.