#pretty sure it was only me that seemed to have this problem

[niilue]

please omg could i request arguing with emo pitfighter vi then her accidentally grabbing reader's boob????

⎯"when you're arguing with vi and she accidentally grabs your boob.”⎯

cw: drabble, fem!reader, funny situation, sfw, emo vi, teasing vi is an idiot, she's cute tho,

the air in the training basement was heavy, echoing with constant punches and the metallic scent of sweat. vi, with her usual bandages wrapped around her torso and fresh scars, was completely immersed in her routine. her black hair, with red streaks, fell messily over her forehead, and her hardened expression left no doubt: she was in a foul mood.

you found her as always, pounding away at a sandbag with a rage that seemed endless. but this time, you didn’t plan on letting her get away with it. after what happened in zaun and the thoughtless things she had said, you needed to have a conversation—even if it meant facing her bad temper.

you approached her, crossing your arms.

—"are you going to keep ignoring me, or are you actually going to act like an adult for once?"

vi didn’t bother turning around, but her frown deepened as she threw another direct punch that nearly burst the bag.

—"i’m not in the mood, alright? go bother someone else."

you let out a dramatic sigh, knowing exactly how to push her buttons.

—"sure, because vi wouldn’t be vi if she weren’t burying her problems under tons of ‘yelling and punching.’ so mature. is that all you know how to do?"

that finally got her attention. vi slowly turned her head toward you, her icy blue eyes sparking with irritation.

—"do you have something to say to me, or did you just come here to piss me off?" —she snapped, her tone dripping with sarcasm and repressed frustration.

you stepped closer, undaunted by her height or her fighter’s stance.

—"i have plenty to say, but you seem to need a manual to understand the basics. like, for example: don’t be an idiot to the people trying to help you."

vi scoffed, raising an eyebrow as she crossed her arms.

—"help me? really?" —she laughed sarcastically, leaning slightly toward you—. "because from here, it looks more like you’re looking for a fight."

—"oh, i’m sorry!" —you said with mock sincerity, throwing up your hands—. "i forgot the only way you process emotions is with your fists. maybe i should bring you a bag to punch instead of asking you to talk like a normal person."

that made her clench her jaw, and vi took a step toward you, clearly losing her patience.

—"look, i didn’t ask you to come here and give me a lecture, alright?"

the confrontation reached its peak when she tried to step closer, lifting her hand in an exaggerated gesture, and accidentally ended up grabbing… well, you know. your right boob.

both of you froze completely. vi, with her eyes wide as saucers and her hand still there, yanked it back as if she’d been electrocuted.

—"for the love of…! shit, i’m sorry! i…!" —she stammered, her cheeks flushing bright red, her expression oscillating between horror and embarrassment—. "it wasn’t on purpose! i swear i wasn’t… looking or anything!"

it was an absolute disaster. you stood there for a moment, processing what had just happened, until you finally burst out laughing. vi looked even more confused, which somehow made it even better.

—"wow, vi!" —you said, wiping a tear of laughter from your cheek—. "if you wanted to grab me, you could’ve just asked, you know? though, for a professional fighter, your coordination is zero."

—"shut up!" —vi groaned, covering her face with her hands, clearly wanting to disappear on the spot—. "it was an accident, damn it!"

—"an accident? really?" —you put your hands on your hips, leaning slightly toward her to tease her more—. "because it felt pretty deliberate. you know, if you need practice, i’m sure there are less awkward ways to go about it."

vi pulled her hands away from her face, her skin still a deep shade of red, and shot you a glare that was clearly meant to be intimidating… but failed miserably.

—"you’re not helping. at all."

—"no, but this is way more fun."

vi let out a frustrated growl, running a hand through her hair as she tried to regain her composure. finally, she huffed and glanced at you out of the corner of her eye, a mix of irritation and resignation on her face.

—"you know what? stay here if you want. but if you keep teasing me, i swear you’re gonna end up with a black eye." —though her tone was defiant, there was a small smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

you shrugged, smiling back.

—"you don’t scare me, big girl. but maybe you should be scared… because i’m never letting you live this down."

vi let out a frustrated groan and turned back to the bag, muttering something about "annoying people," but you couldn’t help noticing how the blush still hadn’t completely left her cheeks.

[solavita]

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru almost out of university, was selected to teach a higher level class on the account of looking good for his first job. so, he was a TA, teaching under a professor but was basically given full rein with the class, as the professor seemed to focus more on research than teaching the class. the second he was in the lecture discussion, he saw you walk in. you were a junior, just a year under him in university and god were you beautiful. almost mouth wateringly so. it made him sick in the head at how pretty you were.

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru who practically watched your every move the minute you came into his classroom. and gods above, you were smart, almost as smart as he was (though he wouldn't ever admit that) and it was clear that you liked him. you always smiled when he complimented your high scores on tests and quizzes, and would read the notes that he put in the margins of your essays with a glimmer in your eyes. he needed to talk to you, needed to be closer to you, and the only way he could think of was to give you slightly lower marks on your essays and homeworks. never on a test, he wouldn't ever want to drop your grade enough for it to be concerning, but he did wait for you to stumble into his office hours. and you did. you asked him how you could do better on the material, and he told you that he'd help you.

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru didn't have an office, only a classroom that he was lent during his office hours on the top floor of a rather deserted building. it was there that you would meet him, every tuesday and thursday, to go over problems. he liked the way that your lip would be bitten in between your teeth when you were looking at a particularly hard problem, or when you would look at him with your big doe eyes when you asked him for help. and whenever you asked him for help, he would lean closer, and explain it to you.

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru finally got the courage to make a move. you asked him for help and he placed his hand on your thigh, as if he was using it to keep himself steady as he leaned over. but instead of watching him explain on the paper, you kept your attention on his face. and then he pushed his hand further up your thigh, under your skirt, and you didn't stop him. your hand came to his and you pushed it up until it was cupping your pussy. he fingered you right then and there, hoping beyond hoping that no one else would walk into his office hours for help. the two of you made out while he fingered you, going as far as to press three fingers into you, with a squelching sound, your moans echoing through the room softly.

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru and you always met during his office hours, until you decided to go to his home one day for some extra tutoring. it ended with you in his large bed with your legs spread, while he put his fingers in your mouth as he fucked you with such fervor that you were sure you were going to break.

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru would be grading papers, and you would slink under his desk and pull his cock out, spitting on the tip and bobbing your head up and down until he gave you the attention you wanted. he always fantasized about you doing this when he was teaching another class, with you working him with your mouth as he sat on his desk and no one else knew the wiser. he would have to try that with you one day.

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru had lots of words like how dirty you were for sleeping with your teacher. "you're such a needy thing, aren't you?" "show me how good you've gotten" when you were riding him. "you probably fantasize about my cock in class, don't you?" it was all so derogatory. and other times he would praise you. he would tell you how smart and beautiful you were. he would let you cum when you got a problem right while he sat under the desk, eating you out. when you got a problem wrong, he would stop, and no amount of begging would get him to continue unless you continued your work.

.ೃ࿐ teacher assistant! satoru who used all his money from his job to buy you different types of leggings and panties to wear under your skirts. all just for him to rip a hole in them and have you walk with that under your skirt for the rest of the day. or he would steal them and think about what he was going to buy for you next. or how you would text him what was under your clothing, teasing him right before class so you could see how noticeably hard he got from it when you walked in.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Happily Ever After (part 27, final)

First | Previous | Masterpost

They did go suit shopping the next day, they tried on tons of stuff, laughing at some of the obnoxious patterns they tried on just for kicks. They did find ones they really liked though, Danny nearly cried when he found one that was dark blue with patterns that made it seem like he was wearing the night sky. The problem was that it was too big for him and there was no way that they could get it tailored in time for the courthouse wedding tomorrow! So they would have to keep it for later, Danny was happy to wear it to their ‘cape wedding’ anyway. 

Jason found one that he liked as well and they agreed to get those tailored and wear them to their big wedding. They had suits already, ones that Dick had gently insisted they but just in case they ever felt up to coming to one of Bruce’s galas or anything, and since they obviously never had those suits had remained entirely unworn. This was a good excuse to actually wear them for the first time! And if Dick tried to get them to go to one again any time soon they had the excuse of not wanting to wear their wedding suits to just any party! It would take him a while to get them new tailored suits, it was much easier to make excuses for fitting after all. 

Danny reluctantly left his new star suit at the tailor and went home, where they found Roy and Lian waiting for them outside their apartment door. Lian looked tired but pretty happy, and Roy looked stressed and maybe a bit annoyed. 

“It’s about time you showed up,” Roy groused at the same time Lian shrieked; “Uncles!” And came hurtling at them. Throwing herself into Danny’s arms who laughed and scooped her up easily, tossing her gently up in the air and catching her as she giggled. “We’ve been waiting for ages,” Roy complained, just to Jason this time since Danny was clearly not listening. 

“We didn’t know you were coming,” Jason said passively. 

Roy sighed, his shoulders drooping a bit. “It was the only flight we could get for the wedding. Lian wanted to surprise you both.”

“And a fabulous surprise it is! It's always great to see the two of you!” Danny cheered, now holding Lian upside down as she giggled and squirmed. “We just don’t have the pull out couch set up or anything but we can figure all that out quickly.”

“That’s what you get for the short notice! I haven’t even had time to plan your bachelor party and you won’t be a bachelor anymore,” Roy accused, punching Jason’s shoulder in rebuke. 

“We’re still going to do our parties,” Danny insisted. “Before the big public wedding, there’s just some bullshit that came up that made us want to have this only on our own terms you know?” 

“Ya, I do know,” Roy sighed a little, his shoulders slumping as he turned towards Danny. Jason fumbled with his apartment keys to let them all in. He couldn’t entirely remember the state they’d left their apartment in that morning and he really hoped it wasn’t too much of a mess. “Jason explained it to me as much as he could over the phone. A political wedding huh? At least it’s between the two of you and they aren’t trying to convince you to marry for an alliance or something.”

“There’d be no point in that,” Danny snorted, shaking his head as they stepped inside and Jason closed the door after them. “They couldn’t make me no matter how hard they tried. And since my kind already follows power I wouldn’t be king if I wasn’t already the most powerful being around.” 

Roy whistled softly and went to flop on the couch, his daughter quickly joining him as Jason went to the kitchen to start doing the abandoned breakfast dishes and Danny did a quick sweep of the apartment to make sure nothing embarrassing had been left out. It didn’t take him long, he was very fast after all. 

“If they can’t make you do anything why did you agree to the big wedding thing in the Realms anyway?” Roy asked casually, as if he hadn’t only just found out about the infinite realms with the information his best friend's fiance had become a King. At least he had been told some of it before having to see the coronation in the bloody rubble of a destroyed city on TV with the rest of the world. That would have been one hell of a way to find out really. 

“Because they had logical arguments for why it was a good idea and I can see their points,” Danny said with a shrug. “I have no intention of being an unreasonable ruler. It’s stupid, and I never wanted to be king, but I’m sure as hell going to do a better job than the last one did, you know? There are good people there, they deserve to have a peaceful afterlife.”

“Spoken like a hero,” Jason said, catching Danny in his arms and hissing his forehead. Danny blushed and muttered for him to shut up without much feeling as Lian cooed at them and Roy gagged playfully. 

Danny bit back a comment about how Roy never minded when he was in the middle of the affection as well! They had only had a few threesomes and didn’t want to mention anything like that in front of Lian after all. 

“You would do the exact same thing for Crime Alley and don’t claim you wouldn’t,” Danny accused right back. “We both want what’s best for our homes and we’ll do what we need to do to make sure it happens. Sometimes those methods have to be.. Unconventional.”

Jason shrugged, he couldn’t exactly argue with that. His patch of turf just happened to be a lot smaller than the entire realm that Danny now ruled. 

“Thank fuck for time dialation, I should be able to get a decent amount done in the Realms without neglecting my responsibilities here too much,” Danny sighed.

“You know you can take a step back from helping me run things if you need to,” Jason pointed out gently. “I did it alone before we got together and I can do it again. I don’t want you to overwork yourself.”

“Like hell I am! I care about the Lanes too and I like working alongside you as Hyena,” Danny said indignantly. 

“What’s time dilation?” Lian cut in, derailing the conversation as Danny tried to explain it to her. 

-----------

The next day Jason and Danny didn’t arrive at the courthouse late, but in service of both of their dramatic flare they arrived just in time so everyone else would be there first. It felt great, walking in, arm in arm in the tailored suits Dick had got them with Bruce’s money, preening as everyone turned to look at them. Dick already looked like he was about to cry, and honestly so did Bruce. Tim was almost as excited as Jason had ever seen him and was holding his big fancy camera, snapping pictures all the way of them and the family. 

“Thank fuck we didn’t hire a photographer huh?” Jason asked softly and Danny gave an affirmative hum. 

Dan and Ellie were there too, standing with Roy. Dan and his arms crossed and a stoic look on his face but Danny wouldn’t have expected anything different. Ellie was in her ‘human form’ and wearing a frankly adorable light blue dress with a full skirt and was bouncing on her toes excitedly. Danny broke into a smile as soon as he saw her and as soon as she saw that she came running towards him, hitting him with enough force it would have knocked the wind out of a human and Danny hugged her just as tight. 

“You look absolutely breathtaking Starlight, you’re going to outshine me and my groom,” Danny joked and Ellie gave a slightly thick laugh. “And don’t you cry unless those are happy tears.” He added, knowing that tone in her voice. 

“They are, but also, so much is changing recently you know?” She asked without looking up. 

“I know, we’ll talk about all of it after the wedding okay?” He asked, he really did understand her feelings, but now wasn’t the time and she was a smart girl, mature enough to realize that. Besides he could hear footsteps quickly approaching him, too light to be Bruce, so they needed to move on for now. She nodded and pulled back, wiping her eyes and smiling up at him, he smiled back.

Right on queue Harley all but collided with the both of them, catching both of them in a tight hug. “I should have known you two love birds wouldn’t be able to wait to get hitched,” She crowed as she hauled Jason into the hugs as well and let Ellie squirm free. Hiding behind Roy who had wandered over to join them at a more casual pace. “But ya couldn’t even wait until after the bachelorette party?!”

“That’s what I said!” Roy agreed in exasperation. “But we’re still going to do them right?” 

“Of course we are! It’s too good an excuse to party to pass up,” Harley scoffed, and Danny cackled. Jason shook his head at both of them fondly. 

Bruce started making his way towards them, and when Roy noticed he hurried to shoo them out of the room. He knew that even though their relationship with Bruce was much better now then it had been, they still didn’t see eye to eye and the last thing anyone wanted was spoiling this important day with a fight. “The officiant is ready,” Roy told them, ushering them towards the ceremony room, leaving the rest of the family to hurry along after them. 

Roy was right about the officiant being ready, it wasn’t someone they knew but the woman smiled warmly at them regardless. For their actual wedding they had decided Diana would be the officiant, Jason would be at the altar with Dick and Roy as his best men (yes Dick had cried when he was asked). Dan would walk Danny up the aisle, along with Harley and Ivy as his ‘bridesmaids’ and Lian and Ellie as flower girl and ring bearer respectively. Tim would be the photographer because he had insisted he wanted to be (Though they had also hired a professional for that day as well) And Bruce would be… there, he could give a pre-approved speech. 

Their wedding day was well planned out, and it was going to be delightful, but that didn’t matter right now. There were no prescribed places or priorities, just their friends and family clustered around them in a disorganized huddle, so close Danny could feel their warmth. He wouldn’t have had it any other way as he snuggled against Jason, holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes as the officiant led them through their vows to one another. Promising to forsake all others and be loyal to one another with a touch of sardonic amusement since they definitely would not stop having threesomes. But they would be loyal, always, to one another, that part true. 

They signed the certificate with Jason’s beautiful looping hand and Danny’s messy scrawl made even messier by the fact his hands were shaking slightly. Dick and Bruce ended up being the ones to sign as witnesses since Tim was too young and everyone else present had… complicated legal identities to say the least, but that didn’t matter, they had their witnesses, they had their stamp! They were officially married and told they could kiss, which they were happy to do, too happy to do, Ellie and Lian ended up breaking them up while miming gagging, making everyone present laugh. 

“Now let's go celebrate! I know a good bar that doesn’t card,” She told them conspiratorially since Danny was still just a few months off his 21st birthday now and they all agreed the American drinking age was dumb. 

Dick cleared his throat loudly and jerked his head towards the city worker who was graciously pretending she hadn’t heard that comment. “Let’s go get dinner! It’s on Bruce,” He said a little too loudly. “I think we have to clear out soon anyway right? It’s only like a 20 minute booking right?”

“Photos first!” Tim broke in insistently as he followed them out of the ceremony room. “We can go to the lobby and then the park nearby, Then dinner. These are important memories!”

“Right right, sure kiddo,” Jason teased, reaching to ruffle his hair just to make him squawk indignantly and duck away before it could be messed up. “Are you actually going to be in any of these ‘important memories’?” 

Tim flushed and stuttered, it seemed he hadn’t really made a plan to be on the other side of the camera at all today, so Jason took pity on him. “Why don’t you call Connor? He might not have your eye but I’m sure he can take a few group photos of all of us.” 

“I can try but he’s not always listening to me,” Tim agreed dubiously. 

“Do you want to bet?” Danny asked with a crooked smile. “Because I bet he’s listening to you basically every waking minute.” 

Tim blushed cherry red and Danny cackled triumphantly. Hearing his laughter Harley bounced up to them and draped herself over Danny’s back. From anyone else Besides Jason that level of contact would have been uncomfortable, but that was just Harley. “Ooo I’d know that expression anywhere! Does the baby bird have a crush~” She crooned and Tim scowled fiercely at them with his cheeks still flushed. 

“Shut Up!” He muttered again, and Jason couldn’t help but smile at how young he sounded. So much more his age than he usually did. 

“Then call him,” Danny encouraged with a crooked and smug little smile. 

Tim muttered something under his breath and then sighed. “Connor? If you’re not busy would you mind coming here?” He all but muttered, as if he didn’t want to actually be overheard. 

There was a woosh of air, and a moment later Connor came around the corner smiling at Tim, dressed in civilian clothes. Danny and Harley practically fell into each other as Harley gave a broken wolf whistle which set Jason and Ivy (who had wandered over to join them in the meantime) off as well into a fit of less manic laughter. Connor gave them a politely confused look and walked over to Tim, who was standing with his shoulders tense and his fists clenched, blushing brightly and refusing to look at the laughing trio. 

“What’s up with them?” Connor asked, bumping his shoulder lightly against Tim’s.

“Ignore them, they’re being stupid and teasing me,” Tim sulked.

“Okaaay, what did you need?” Connor asked curiously. 

“Hey Loverboy, would you mind helping him with the pictures? You can stay for the after party,” Danny practically catcalled. 

“Loverboy?-” Connor cut himself off and shook his head, turning to smile at Tim. “Of course I’ll help.” 

“Great! Thanks,” Tim said slightly too loudly. He took charge to save himself  from further embarrassment, bullying a still cackling Danny to a place the light was better and pulling Jason in for couple photos first before expanding out and pulling in family. Handing the camera over to Connor so he could take the photos with him involved and running over after almost every single shot to check his work. Connor took his fussing with good-natured patience and bemusement.  

When they finished pictures in the courthouse there was discussion of going for dinner now, and again Tim insisted they go to the park because it was almost ‘golden hour’, whatever the fuck that was. But Tim was stubborn, and now he had Connor to back him up, they all decided to just go along with it. Besides Harley and Ivy, who had a prior commitment and weren’t planning on coming to dinner. They came to say goodbye and kiss Danny’s cheeks, hugging Jason and heading out before they made the other people in the park any more nervous. 

Tim didn’t let them leave the park until the sun had set, but that was alright. Then it was time to call a few cabs and pile in to head to the restaurant. Bruce offered to drive Jason and Danny, but somehow ended up with Connor and Tim in his car instead, leading their little caravan to the restaurant they had let him pick out for the evening, it was only fair since he was paying. 

The night was too joyful to be awkward as they ate the too fancy food, talked and laughed at Connor trying to figure out how the fancy fucking cutlery was supposed to be used (as if Danny was any better). It was a good thing Bruce had already booked the entire restaurant because otherwise their noise would definitely have disturbed the prissy patrons that usually frequented this place. Bruce was just a bit of a killjoy though and refused to let any of the under age folks order drinks, that had Danny texting Harley about that bar she mentioned under the table.

The night ended when Harley and Ivy came roaring up in a convertible with a hastily scrawled ‘Just Hitched!!!’ sign on the back to steal Jason and Danny for some real fun! They made a break for it before Bruce could stop them and peeled away from the curb as Dick, Ellie, and Dan cheered them on. 

Before they could go Bruce did grab both of their arms, holding them for just a moment, an almost desperate look on his face. "I know you two have been avoiding me tonight, I understand! But I want you to know, I'm glad you're happy. I-.. I hope you'll let me be part of your lives. Just, be safe."

"We will, B," Jason said softly. It was the best they were going to get from Bruce, and he was grateful for it.

He pulled back, and Danny, without the history Jason did with Bruce and with a more affectionate nature, pulled Bruce in for a quick but tight hug. He laughed when Bruce froze which gave Jason and Danny the perfect chance to make a break for the car. When Jason looked back Bruce was looking fondly exasperated before turning to lecture everyone about making such a scene in public.

Danny convinced Harley to stop by home so Jason and Danny could change clothes and mask up and then went out for a proper party with their rogue friends. And to get really fucking drunk from all the congratulatory drinks people kept buying them. It was crazy, it was perfect, it was so fucking them.

By the time they got home they were stumbling and leaning on each other and Danny couldn’t stop laughing. Jason locked the door after them with clumsy hands and poured Danny onto the couch. 

“Okay, we need to eat and drink somethin before bed or we’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow,” He slurred a little and headed to the kitchen. 

“You got it Boss! No! Wait! You got it husband!” Danny said, voice slightly too loud. “Fuck it’s so good to be able to call you that! You’re my husband! We’re fucking hitched! We’re maaaried.”

“You’re damn right we are!” Jason said as he contemplated the glasses, grimaced, and grabbed some plastic cups they had for nights like this, and immediately validated his choice by dropping one and cursing as it fell to the counter.

“You’re never getting rid of me now~” Danny laughed flirtatiously.

“I’d never want to. We’re stuck together Moonlight, you’re the only one for me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if you’re a sloppy-ass drunk.” He teased as he filled up both glasses of water and stumbled over to Danny. 

“I wouldn’t either,” He purred, leaning against Jason’s shoulder as he accepted the cup. “Cheers to eternity.”

“Cheers,” Jason chuckled, knocking their plastic cups together before chugging the water and shaking his swimming head.

“Can we order pizza?” 

“That’s the best idea you’ve ever had,” Jason laughed and grabbed for his phone. 

“Nooo, best idea I ever had was breaking into your office that first time,” Danny sighed, closing his eyes and snuggling against Jason’s side. 

Jason felt his heart flutter and kissed Danny’s cheek sloppily. “Actually, you’re damn right. I don’t even want to think of where I’d be without you.”

"Me neither," Danny sighed, resting peacefully against Jason's chest.

[rei-ismyname]

Let's talk R-LDS

R-LDS or Resurrection-Linked Degenerative Sickness was alluded to in X-Men #4 and the Infinity Comics before being named in X-Men #7. We're told that Magneto has it and it's directly caused by Krakoan resurrection/The Five, kinda.

Here's Beast doing some alluding.

In the panels above, we learn that Hank McCoy is the only one working on the problem - the problem being Magneto's loss of his powers and his body breaking down rapidly - his very chromosomes unraveling. He seems quite sure that it could happen to 'any of us' though the lack of quarantine suggests it's not contagious.

The next bit of information we receive is from Magneto and Scott in conversation, reflecting on The Iron Night. They took down a wild sentinel that was attacking the town and Mags lost control over his powers immediately after, requiring Scott to knock him out for safety's sake. Scott is no scientist, and while Magneto is a genius polymath autodidact (with plenty of experience in genetics) it's not a character trait that's seen focus lately. Thus, I'm assuming they're discussing it as amateurs and as patient zero in Magneto's case.

Magneto confidently names the condition for the first time as well as using an acronym for it, suggesting it's confirmed to exist, he's had a positive diagnosis, and they're using the term enough to require shorthand. He even spells out the subtext for us - it was a hidden flaw in Krakoan resurrection. I'll come back to that notion. Scott says 'we don't know that for sure,' implying that R-LDS is just a theory or speculation, which Mags doesn't directly refute. Instead he lays out the worst case scenario. They can't both be right here, so what's the deal? Magneto's symptoms are obviously confirmed, but how did they get from there to here?

If Magneto is the first and only person affected by his condition, why are he and Beast so sure about its providence and everyone being in danger? How could they possibly link it to Krakoan resurrection? I'm no scientist but I do know that there's only so much you can conclude from a single data point. Magneto was indeed only resurrected by the Five once, but he died again after that on Arakko (X-Men Red #7). The body he's in came out of a portal from Overspace in Adam Brashear's underwater base (Resurrection of Magneto #3.) His body suffering a condition borne of something that happened to a different body doesn't make sense. Considering he's the only person to return to life that way AND the only one allegedly with R-LDS, that would be the place to start for Beast's sciencing.

There he is, good as new.

Word of God

In a recent AIPT interview, Tom Brevoort removed any ambiguity and just straight up confirmed it. With the caveat that his recent X-history knowledge seems pretty poor, he is the de jure ultimate authority on the matter. I don't agree with that, and not just because I don't respect him as a creator. This habit of on-panel ambiguity and editorialising in interviews is vexing.

It's especially vexing when he contradicts himself. He counterpoints his own information with some of what I just pointed out, but the fact that they've made a list of who was and wasn't resurrected suggests R-LDS is a plot point they're committed to. I have to wonder why he bothered giving a detailed answer to this question if it's 'yes,' then 'maybe', then 'it will definitely be a thing you'll see as we progress.' Saying all of that and then ending with 'we know very little so far' really makes me wonder what he's thinking. Tom Brevoort could have given his usual cagey answer about not wanting to spoil anything, but he didn't here. I'm saving most of my Brevoort-specific criticism for a separate piece, but this glib and irreverent tone is typical of his commentary - even managing a light jab at Jordan D White.

Frankly, I think it's a graceless and cynical development. There are so many character beats, mistakes, and conflicts to use from the First Krakoan Age that choosing to create R-LDS feels like a shot at the core of hopefulness and creativity that blew our socks off in 2019.

HoxPoX

House of X/Powers of X was hopeful and magical. After a decade plus of endless misery and genocides, dull stories and bizarre characterisation, for once mutants got a W. The ability to use mutants working together to right the horrendous wrongs they'd suffered was central to that - the power of community and cooperation. What they built wasn't perfect but The Five was something they got right.

What would possess someone to take the cornerstone of the greatest X-Men story of all time (don't @ me) and try to tear it down? Remember, when the dust settled we ended up in Moira X life 10E. In 10A, the original Krakoan experiment, the mutants won! They thrived and protected what was theirs against Dominions. It took a literal apex AI God existing outside of space and time directly opposing them to fail. Enigma, on the back foot, sent Omega Sentinel through time to start ORCHIS years early and ensure Krakoa's collapse. Am I to believe 'no, sorry. That was a dead end?'

Haven't we been here before?

We've had mutants suffer from the Legacy Virus and M-Pox already, and I might even be missing other examples of nebulous diseases that threatened to wipe out all mutants. Obviously it's the prerogative of the X-Office to use whatever plot points they want, but do we really have to do this again? There are plenty of ways to sideline Magneto as a combatant that don't require repackaging old storylines. We've even had Hank McCoy decades behind the curve desperately trying to catch up before - in All-New All-Different X-Men.

Small World

Defenders-era Hank McCoy might be the worst possible 616 scientist to tackle this problem. He's literally decades behind the science curve and doesn't have the experience in dealing with anything like this. He's not the same guy that worked on M-Pox or the Legacy Virus. He never set foot on Krakoa and has never met any of the Five. We don't know how much data was recorded or kept from The Five but Beast may not have access to it.

Why isn't he talking to Cecilia Reyes, Forge, Jean Grey, Reed Richards, Doctor Strange, Adam Brashear, Healer, Doctor Nemesis? Even doctor dickhead that extorted Storm has the ability to instantly diagnose anyone. It makes the world feel tiny, and when you're following an era of interconnectedness that's just so disappointing. Portraying him as supremely concerned about 'all of us being ticking time bombs' rings hollow if he's working on it solo. Hank McCoy has always had a sense of arrogance where his scientific ability is concerned but not to this degree. Look at the guy! He's hating the stress he's under.

Sins of Sinister and the White Hot Room

I have to wonder if the implications of linking Magneto's illness to The Five's resurrection have been fully considered. The Sins of Sinister timeline ran for a millennium with the Five resurrecting on an industrial scale. Rasputin IV would have noticed, or the Quiet Council. The mutants left behind in the White Hot Room in RotPox spent 15 years bringing back ALL the dead mutants. That's 16 million, minimum. 15 years is less than a thousand but it's still longer than the First Krakoan Age, several times over. Nobody noticed anything? Elixir, member of the Five and Omega biokinetic, with his unlimited mastery of DNA didn't notice anything? Sounds dubious as hell to me.

Towards the end of the era many humans were resurrected too. 5% of the Five's work was set aside for bringing back poor children etc through the Phoenix Foundation. Steve Rogers was resurrected into his current body on Judgement Day. I am extremely skeptical that this has been considered, and in Steve's case whether the X-Office can even use him.

Conclusion

Magneto's physical degradation has been swift. Here he is in Uncanny X-Men #700, implied to be at most 6 months before X-Men #1. I think I've demonstrated that the concept is nonsensical and to reiterate, I think it's a terrible narrative choice. If I'm being generous, it'll be interesting to see if they can explain R-LDS in a way that makes sense - if they can do something new and interesting with a tired concept. There's only been one issue since it was introduced, so perhaps I'm jumping the gun on breaking it down. Let's check back in 6 months.

What do you think of R-LDS? Do you think my reasoning is sound? As always, I'd love to hear what other fans think.

[hyperpotamianarch]

So, Jewish Fantasy! A very nebulous idea that tries to catch form in many different ways. I don't know much about how it works outside of Israel - I saved the recommendation list that circulated around here but didn't try anything from it yet (outside of Spinning Silver, which I read before I ever saw the list). So, if anything of what I say seems ludicrous to you because you've seen a book that does it well - don't hesitate to recommend it to me! Though I'm not sure how applicable it will be for what I'm about to say.

There are a couple of angles from which one can try to get at Jewish Fantasy: through using Jewish folklore and myth as a basis for your story, through using Jewish characters or by writing out of a Jewish cultural context. In certain stories, different angles tend to be more pronounced - Charashta is based on Midrashim and Jewish folklore, Spinning Silver has Jewish characters, and Agam HaTzlalim is written out of some degree of Jewish culture. Yeah, two of those are Israeli books that weren't translated, feel free to give alternative examples but those are the only one I can safely talk about since I've actually read them.

I could elaborate more on that, but what actually made me want to write a post on the topic was a post about how so much of Fantasy is Greek (in a way) and Sci-Fi is Roman. And that made me think, what about Jewish Fantasy? And while this is a topic I've thought of and been somewhat involved in conversations on for some time now, this is looking at it from a particular angle. An angle which could be examplified by the simple question: why is there no Jewish Disney Princess?

All right, all right, settle down. I know about the Vanollope von Schweetz thing. Quite frankly, considering the source for it is the word of the actress and that it has no effect on the story whatsoever, I think I'm fine with ignoring it. Feel free to shout at me in the comments, hopefully the rest of the post will explain this better.

You see, the problem is that Disney Princesses mostly come from stories about Medieval Europe, and in that particular time and place "Jewish" and "royalty" were inherently contradictory. A Jewish girl couldn't have been a princess, because Jewish communities were never a part of the ruling class. At least not in medieval Europe.

Now the reason what I'm saying is rubbish is because of other contradictory examples, like Mulan or Tiana, and maybe Pocahontas or Esmeralda. And based off of those examples I could probably whip up a couple of ideas on how to do an interesting Jewish Princess story - base it on the Book of Judith, for example, or offer a Jewish twist on some European folktales (which might be hard considering some of them actually have straight up Jewish characters playing as the villains), or... have a movie about Jews assimilating into European culture... Yeah, I can see why Pocahontas or the Hunchback of Notre-Dame might feel a little uncomfortable. But the point is: Fantasy is based on Medieval times, and Jews' role during that time wasn't one of royalty.

You can't really write a medieval Jewish kingdom, because there wasn't really any. And yes, many people try using the Khazarians for that. However, their kingdom was only Jewish for a century, maybe, before it was completely destroyed. Plus, we barely have any data on what it looked like, and its culture was likely very different from Jewish culture. So the medieval presentation of Jews would have to be of a persecuted minority. That, essentially, is what we see in Spinning Silver: a Jewish family in medieval times, a member of which serves as our protagonist. And Maryem is pretty much constantly angry about the antisemitism flourishing all around her. So I suppose that could be an example to follow - along with the stories about Maharal of Prague and the Golem, fighting blood libels.

So, you can portray Jews as an oppressed minority, constantly fighting their persecution. An alternative could probably be following the example of Ḥassidic stories, talking about the Rebbe, the Renter, the Trader and the Widow (regular character archetypes in such tales). You could have the antagonist be the local Pariz, nobleman, or perhaps the gentile that decided to be a robber, or occasionally a fellow Jew who out-leassed your protagonist from their home. All regular tropes in the day-to-day life of an... (checks notes) early modern Eastern Europen Jew? Huh. I suppose it's not exactly the same period.

Either way, if you want your story to be more fuly Jewish, to not always play against the backdrop of a non-Jewish kingdom, you have some interesting options. The first question would be: are you taking from the past or the present? If you choose present, well, you can choose between Diasporan or Israeli culture. In addition, this will more or less constrain you to some type of Urban Fantasy or other Hidden World stories, with not much of an option to delve into Epic Fantasy. If that's what you want to do - great! Go ahead and do that. Personally, I have some degree of a problem with how I've seen Israeli culture portrayed in stories so far, but that's a story unto itself.

If you choose past... well... Jewish history is nothing if not long. And if we're really trying to make a more Jewish backdrop, we'll probably need to pull from Jewish independant states or kingdoms. Of which there are a couple that can be used - Ancient Israel throughout the time of the Tanach, from the Judges through the first kings and the divided kingdoms of Judea and Israel; Yehud Medinta, which while it existed under the Persians had a Jewish governor for certain periods; the Hasmonean Dynasty, with all its ups and downs; the Kingdom of Adiabene, which converted to Judaism for a time; some short-lived Jewish independant states in defiance of the Romans; and of course, the infamous Kingdom of Khazar. There are also legendary kingdoms of the lost 10 tribes, which could possibly work as interesting additions. It is also important to note that in the Tanachic period I included a pretty vast array of periods, including the Judges (periodical local saviors and heroes), the House of Sha'ul (which isn't too easy to characterize), the Davidic Dynasty (Temple! Prophets! A bloodline promised to last! Evrything you might want from a kingdom), and the Kingdom of Israel (a couple of dynasties have their own characteristics, but most didn't survive for long).

Maybe I'll try my hand in suggesting what a kingdom based on the Hasmonean Dynasty could look like later. For now, let us start with: there is no medieval Jewish kingdom, so we'll take one from the Hellenistic period or from the Bronze Age to cover it up! Either that, or we'll try figuring out the structure of the early medieval kingdom that converted to Judaism that one time.

I'm not sure how much of a point I made, really. Thank you for reading, and have a good day!

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

I'm actually kind of done with Limbus Company mechanically speaking.

Got no incentive to return. Especially since the game has felt so frustrating to me recently in terms of how it's designed.

It feels like they're kind of designing it in a way that takes most of the fun out of it. Overpowered IDs, and a game that's rather solidly stuck to a meta doesn't do it for me. Sure you can win with other IDs, but those typically go under the label as "Challenge Runs".

Also like. It feels like they're going deeper into Gacha Hell. Even if it's like "Oh we need more money to do more things." It's like. I haven't seen that much that's that enticing to me. The Arknights crossover seems cool, but like. Sure Arknights seems thematically interesting but my friends have told me plenty about it and like. It's a gacha. It has problems.

Anyways, pretty early morning rant so not the most cohesive.

But like.

My big thing is that in my experience? Limbus Company fans will deflect ANY criticism of the game. Like. I don't hate Limbus Company. There really is a lot to love. But my god. The more I voice my frustrations with the game only to have them shot down, the more my discontent for this "game" grows. I feel like in a lot of cases, a story having a good ending can make people forgive shortcomings it can have. The shortcomings here being mostly gameplay oriented, which I will cover in my current review of it down below.

Also. I can't help that Limbus Company is getting dangerously close into a pay-to-win category. Eh. Sure you can contest me on this point but I think it's a bad thing where something you pay for in a F2P game gives you easier wins, with some truly powerful EGOs. Feels counterintuitive to a lot of practical game design.

I feel like a lot of the game can feel like that more and more even. Even more of the game feels designed around IDs that are the strongest of the strong, and I dislike the meta around strong units, since they are quite difficult to get, something you have to go out of your way for...

COMPARED TO LIBRARY OF RUINA WHEN THEY WERE JUST ORGANICALLY PART OF THE FUCKING GAMEPLAY!

Anyways I should wrap this up.

Very in-cohesive rant. Early in the morning. But. These feelings are my own.

I'll end if off with a review:

Lobotomy Corporation. A favorite of mine. Janky, obtuse, but so alluring in its design. So captivating, and so amazing. To slowly whittle away at it made me feel like an artist, like a woodcarver, slowly chipping away at a chunk of wood, until I have finished what I set out to do.

Library of Ruina. While I don't talk about it much, and have gotten bad at articulating it. This game means so fucking much to me. I love how there's so many weird strategies in this game that genuinely work in such a beautiful way. Even though this game has a sort of meta, I think it works in a satisfying and beautiful way, and when your entire deck is made up of those who exist at the apex of the City, it feels amazing. Truly amazing.

Limbus Company. In the past, while I don't do review scores, since I believe they're counterintuitive when it comes to making game critiques, I do give them sometimes. When I was still playing Limbus, I gave would give it a 7/10. A farcry from what I thought about LobCorp or Ruina. While I love the stories (even if I have some story based critiques here and there), the story is not enough to carry an experience that overall, is rather frustrating, and arduous. Many fights have polarizing clashes, where it is either just an easy slog you can do in your sleep, or is just simply, bullshit, with enemies that clash too high, and occasionally, negative coins, which punish you for like. Daring to actually engage with the mechanics in a way that make sense. It's like. If you're struggling with an enemy who's consistently clashing higher than you, your priority should be lowering the meter that makes them clash high. Enemies like Pequod Town villagers or Distorted Bamboo Hatted Kim completely destroy this philosophy. Just for an example. The big thing is, I have so, so many issues with Limbus Company that what would normally be a cohesive review quickly devolves into a rant about all the things I dislike about it.

What really gets me? A refusal for the game's fanbase to engage in actual criticism of the game. I mean look at their reaction to people leaving negative review scores on changes that, if I'm being honest, are changes I would consider bad. It's all about the "scary chinese players trying to hurt are hallowed project" rather than actually engaging in criticism of the game. Ugh. It's just. A lot. Issues with the game, that are reflected and exacerbated by the fanbase. Even people I hold in good regard as friends can be frustrating occasionally in this regard. Eh. It's just that. Yeah I love the characters and what not and love playing around with silly ideas for them, but playing with them feels more fun than playing the actual game itself.

As it stands, the review I would give Limbus Company, is a rare one where a numerical score reflects my emotions. 5/10. A glaring score of mediocrity, that only sours as the game continues to refuse to acknowledge or fix actual problems indicative to the game.

A game that builds it gameplay value out of obligation tied to upgrade materials and in-game currency, a game that is outcompeted by many other games with roguelike/turnbased gameplay in that department, so really, the only reason to play is an obligation for many people. An obligation that's not worth having.

[puretopia]

the vampire club below the church.

[cluescorner]

I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc

[celtrist]

Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet

[petiolata]

Me finding out hyper-responsibility and responsibility OCD are a thing 😐 never read about a disorder/behavior that so specifically matched my weird f**king problems.

Guess I will bring this up in therapy...

[thirsty-4-ghouls]

Do you get more “rarer” potions or whatever the higher you get in alchemy levels? Because I stg it wasn’t this hard to get green or yellow when i was ten levels lower >:\

“You transmuted blue sludge” I don’t fucking need more blue sludge! I’m out of yellow!!! I keep transmuting one and two star items and the last one I did (2 stars) gave me red sludge!!! I like having purple, red, and blue, sure, but I need yellow!!!

[thedeviljudges]

-

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol

[coolspacequips]

Have been reading this sci-fi romance and like UGH u ever really wish a book was just at least a little better??? There's stuff in this that's interesting but also a lot about it that's so... Juvenile and kinda undercooked lol...... But it's so hard finding good romance bc for a lot of romance readers this is enough, except even then not really since they prolly didn't fuck nasty enough in this book for the ppl that just need the merest pretense to read smut (which is fine if that's what u like there's just an oversaturation of this, esp when you can have a light plot/heavy smut story with slightly better writing and internal world building without having to explain and describe the 'boring' parts 😅)

[femmesandhoney]

The dark media focusing on women that you mentioned still falls into the bury your gays trope, especially with killing eve. We as lesbians deserve better than constant negativity. The L word original, even is filled with cheating. What shows and movies have you seen that don’t have any of this, to the point where you feel like it’s over flooding with positivity and no dark media? Almost all of the media aimed at us is already so dark, open your fucking eyes?

[bootleg-nessie]

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are