#post people is so stressful…. but damn I��m pretty proud of the face. I was really scared of doing it

[fueledbysano]

𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒! Sae Itoshi

you're his guilty pleasure, his wildest fantasies and dirty secret.

♱ content/warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, unprotected sex, implied m masturbation, sae being a simp for you

♱ a/n: I initially wrote for the other boys too but I got impatient so I'm posting this first 😋

♱ tags: @blueparadis @tokyometronetwork

♱ wc: 0.7k

When he overheard from the guests that his favorite model was watching the match, Sae got distracted from his deep train of pre-game thoughts. His teammates were silenced in a heartbeat when Sae hastily got up from the bench and out of the locker room, visibly in a sense of urgency.

“Find [ Y / N ] [ L / N ]. And give her the best field side seat. I don’t care if they’re filled, find a way.” He instructed the men lined before him.

So when you were told that “Sae Itoshi got you a VIP seat.”, it was something you cannot decline. You came to support his team, but it was to your surprise that Sae even knew about your existence.

The game went smoothly and his team won by a landslide of goals. While you were shown on the big screen in between breaks and the hosts commenting on your presence, your favorite part of the game was sharing an eye contact or two with Sae. So once the game was over, you pulled every string you could to get a hold of the man. You just had to meet him.

“Miss [ Y / N ] [ L / N ] requests to meet you at the country club.” Although it would’ve been more convenient if his security didn’t blurt it out in the team’s locker room, Sae felt proud that he practically got asked out by one of today’s hottest models in front of the other guys.

“Damn, I guess you’re ditching our celebration for your reward?” Sendo banters. “Yeah, screw you, guys.” Sae flatly spoke before changing into casual clothing. “What happened to ‘I want nothing but to be the world’s best’?!”

Sae couldn’t believe it— he’s exactly the man he once mocked. Walking blocks in risk of being seen by fans and media, all to meet you. So as soon as he sees you by the bar counter, he makes his presence known with a gentle tap on your shoulder. You made sure to thank him for giving you a vip seat before buying drinks for each other. The place was cozy enough to keep you conversing, like the usual ‘getting to know’ lines. But this time, it was actually interesting to have a date with someone who was famous in a whole other industry.

However, the night fell darker, and more and more people started to recognize the two of you. So in a leap of faith, you invited Sae into a more private domicile.

“Nghmmh! Sae~ s’too big…” You could tell that your risk paid off when Sae practically had you fold in half on the bed; your legs lifted to his shoulders and his fat cock buried in full penetration inside you. “You deserve it, angel…” Sae weakly smiled in an airy breath, hindering himself from cumming too soon.

He’d thought about this very moment on several occasions, especially right from the first time he saw your voluptuous frame and beautiful face on the cover of Vogue. Sae was too overwhelmed with wild and filthy thoughts when he’s practically living a lot of men’s wildest fantasies. “Pretty princess~” Sae spoke in between kisses on the surface of your cleavage. “Just as perfect as I imagined~”

Your grip on his biceps tightened when Sae’s fingers started tracing over your curves. “D-don’t stop, please, Sae…” You suggestively bit your lip before taking his hand up to your lips and sucking on his thumb whilst keeping hot eye contact. Sae almost came from the gesture, but instead, you felt him rut his hips harshly into yours, your toes curling in an instant as his tip kissed your cervix

Sae had you moaning his name again and again, just as much as you made him moan and jerk to your magazine bikini photos.

Sae was strong and skillful in his movements. He left no inch of you unattended. Not when he had one hand grabbing your breast like his personal stress ball, his thumb circling your clit in eight figures, and his lips practically making out with your thigh all while pushing his length to the deepest ends of your tight cunt.

Sae Itoshi had just officially made himself the best hookup of your life.

[contrabandhothead]

Hi! I saw your post about requests! :) could I get some BOB head cannons of what it’s like to date them while also being is easy company? :)

I’m so so SO sorry this took so long, and I hope you like it 🤞🏻also, I couldn’t do all of them because school has been keeping me very busy. If you want to send another request, and i’ll do more for you when I have time 💕 Enjoy!

Dick Winters

generally very private about his relationship

mom and dad™ of easy co. 

 i want to say that he puts you on his team during missions, but i feel like he thinks it’s unprofessional 

so he probably puts you on a team with someone he trusts and that he knows won’t take unnecessary risks *cough cough* Speirs *cough cough* 

doesn’t mean he doesn’t get worried though 

give this man a massage please, he’s stressed af  

you’d never want to jeopardize his position though, so you’re generally okay with it 

however, sometimes you get a little lonely 

Dick notices this and tries to clear out a slot in his schedule in order to spend some quality time with you 

treats you like any of the other men, except when you’re alone

king of stolen kisses behind crumbling walls before a battle

very healthy relationship overall 12/10 would be an amazing father 

secretly wants to get married when the war is over 

i’m not saying he definitely proposed on V-E Day but he definitely did it 

cries at the wedding, especially since it’s been so long since he’s seen you all dolled up because of the war 

also cries because he’s finally getting to marry the love of his life 

drunkenly told Nix at his bachelor party about how amazing you would look at your wedding and then went on and on about the specific shade of your eyes

S I M P 

Nix never lets him forget it 

Lewis Nixon

this man 

let’s be for real here 

he has NO idea how to display affection at all, especially because of his past 

so he does what any rich boy would do 

showers you in gifts that you don’t need 

it’s not that you’re ungrateful for them, you just wish he would understand that you don’t love him for his money 

i feel like everyone forgets that he’s lowkey rich 

can’t relate Nix

he will buy you anything he sees you look at for more than a second

always has them delivered by some random Private 

the men tease you RELENTLESSLY for it 

“hey Y/N, what did that overflowing wallet buy you this week?”

“Shut up Tab”

is always worried about you 

especially since he usually isn’t on the battlefield since he moved to staff

you’re fine 

you can definitely handle yourself after Sobel’s training what a fucking dick

takes you out on small simple dates when you guys actually have weekend passes 

the guys always help you get ready for your dates (they see you as a little sister it’s really cute) 

Ron Speirs 

this man 

oh wow 

the flavor 

never really got to see you until Dog Co. was basically absorbed by Easy Co. 

definitely thinks he’s not good enough for you 

when you first introduced the Easy Co. men to him, they thought the exact same thing (they changed their minds after a while though) 

REASSURE THIS MAN. EVERY. STINKIN. DAY. THAT HE IS GOOD ENOUGH. 

P L E A S E 

secretly is a cuddle monster

will 100% sneak into your foxhole to cuddle and will slit anyone’s throat that mentions it 

this man has arms and legs like an octopus when it comes to cuddling 

will pull you back into his arms even if you need to use the bathroom and will not be letting go 

steals you pretty things for absolutely no reason (Ron, no) 

the man is like a freakin magpie

the men of Easy Co. grow to like him more when they realize how happy he makes you and how he doesn’t hurt you 

he actually values their opinion on your relationship a lot

he knows Easy is like family and you’re like the younger sister 

doesn’t show it though 

pushes you away when he feels insecure 

jealous™

surprisingly domestic 

Carwood Lipton 

wholesome but to the max™

you’re both so in love i feel like i’m going to throw up rainbows

signed up for the paratroopers together

i feel like Carwood is the type of person to marry his high school sweetheart 

so yeah, you guys are that™ couple

best aunt and uncle of easy co. 

Lip worries about you just a littleee more than the other men 

he’s just a worry wart in general 

almost threw hands with Sobel once when Sobel insulted you 

he will not stand for anyone insulting his gal 

isn’t as private as Dick is with his relationship, but is known to hide it from superior officers other than Nix and Winters

aka Sobel

was 100% willing to get kicked out of the infantry to defend you from Sobel 

thinks a lot about how good of a mom you’d be, especially when he sees you caring for the men

is also a cuddler, though not nearly as clingy as Ron

just a loose arm to tuck you into his side, especially during Bastogne 

prefers having you on his team, not only because he cares about you, but also because he admires your skill and accuracy 

you’re a damn good shot, and he’d scream it from a mountain for all to hear 

so proud of his gal 

George Luz

you’re either the jokester and the stoic couple, the shy kid and the jokester couple, or the jokester and the jokester couple 

there’s no in between 

cracks terrible jokes just to see you smile 

still tries pick up lines even AFTER you two are dating (even the guys shake their heads)

you two are the entertainment for easy co. let me tell you 

you’re also the only person that can get George to shut up 

you must thank him in kisses he takes no other currency 

clingy baby™

it’s like dating a 12 year old boy sometimes 

he can be so immature but it’s kind of endearing at times

everyone is immediately accepting of your relationship because it just makes sense and you’re both good for each other

wants a hug and a kiss even if you’re just leaving the dining hall to go to the bathroom 

just give the man what he wants or he’ll pout all day until you kiss his cheek 

you guys once had a match of how long you could ignore each other once 

he was surprisingly dedicated 

but he broke 

he snapped like a twig after everyone went to sleep

he dived into your foxhole and begged you to talk to him

he kept snuggling closer to you until you talked to him again

Joe Toye 

rough on the outside, soft on the inside  

brings you flowers when he asks you out (surprisingly very traditional and respectful when he asks you out)

everyone has a good time when Toye is with you, he loosens up a lot more 

loves when you pet his hair and he can just stare up at the stars while laying in your lap 

he’s just as bad as Speirs when it comes to cuddling 

a cuddle bug but won’t admit it 

actually might be worse than Speirs when it comes to cuddling because he can actually sneak into your bunk while you’re sleeping 

also wants to fight Sobel when Sobel insults you and actually almost threw hands 

he almost got court martialed and was 2 steps away from getting up in Sobel’s face before Guarnere and Luz stopped him

hands down the dumbest thing he has ever done 

you were so mad at him for it 

you didn’t talk to him for a week 

you felt bad because he was always giving you those puppy dog eyes from across the dining hall 

Joe gets teased by the guys for being sweet on you  

“at least I got a broad! the rest of ya’ can’t really say that much.”

will not hesitate to let you win during arm wrestling 

he’s not allowed to arm wrestle with you anymore because the guys know he’s just letting you win 

you’re his #1 fan during arm wrestling 

look at those arms tho

Joe  Liebgott   

y’all thought Toye was soft 

OH BOY 

the way Joe acts around you is definitely bullying material for the other guys 

Lieb drinks respect women juice 

thinks you’re so cool 

would probably walk up to random people and be like “that’s her. she’s my girlfriend. can you believe how lucky i am?” 

thinks it’s so cute when you show off your brand new jump wings to him

you just looked so excited 

he wasn’t even staring at the wings when you started rambling about how happy you were, he was just making this stupid in love face

definitely grabbed your face and kissed you hard after that 

he wants SO many kids???? 

ya know those lists that lots of girls have on their phones and it’s just a bunch of future baby names??? that’s Joe 

this man has 8 names

4 girls names and 4 boy names 

he plans to use every name 

just wants to live the domestic life with you after the war 

will freeze his ass off and take your watch just so you can get some extra sleep 

another cuddle monster (they’re multiplying)

whispers really cute things in german to you until you fall asleep

has also almost fought Sobel for shit he said to you 

David Webster 

you help him fit in more with the other guys 

please teach him the art of socializing  

yes, the men have stolen his journal to read all his terrible poetry about you

still gets shit for it to this day 

shares his chocolate bar with you 

longing stares but from across the room 

doesn’t actually take you out until the war is over because he wants to do it right dammit 

has little to absolutely no relationship experience

please teach him 

or better yet, struggle with him and get made fun of by all the guys 

they actually accept Web more now that he’s with you 

cuz Easy Co. loves you 

sends letters all the time when he’s sent to the hospital 

everyone teases him that he acts like he’s more likely married to Liebgott than to you

you’re the only reason the men will stop teasing him 

definitely more badass then him 

you radiate boss energy and that’s what easy co. likes about you 

especially Web

everyone’s like “that’s my girl!”  

and he just smiles in the corner with the rest of them 

Bill Guarnere 

DID I SAY SOFT??? 

S O F T 

weak for his girl 

arm wrestles just to get your attention (flexes all the time for pete’s sake) 

also wants like a gazillion children and talks about it constantly with Liebgott

this man wants an army of little Italian kids 

no one makes fun of you or Guarnere for his actions to get your attention because they don’t want his fist in their face 

people who have almost punched Sobel for making fun of their girl: let’s add Guarnere to the list 

you didn’t ignore him, you just told him off for being an idiot 

if i could describe it, he sulked like a puppy that got told no more treats

so proud of you when you get your jump wings 

probably makes a toast about it at the celebration 

he was so drunk but it was so cute

literally will do anything for your attention 

chugging three bottles of whiskey so Y/N will pay attention to me??? pass the bottle bitch

not a massive cuddle monster but enjoys PDA and the occassional ass slap

probably has slapped your ass in front of company before

this boy has no morals smh 

don’t worry, you get him back though 

Frank Perconte 

worry wart but multiply it by 1000x 

is always bothering you to brush your teeth 

not because he’s scared your breath stinks, but because he cares about you and your oral hygiene 

now gets bullied about oral hygiene and his relationship with you 

ft Skip. “oh Y/N, take me away my princess. did you brush your little pearly teeth??? i would never want your perfect smile to be ruined.” 

Skip has been chased multiple times around Toccoa for this behavior 

will fight anyone that thinks you’re not a good shot 

is amazed how good you are at darts (knows you’re better than Buck) 

does share a foxhole with you 

is NOT part of the monster cuddler club because he knows when to stop 

has not arm wrestled for your attention but will if so needed 

always needs attention

whiny 12 year old boy P.2

sometimes it’s like you’re dating Luz as well 

Luz has purposefully third wheeled before 

yes, you heard me 

ON PURPOSE

likes spontaneous dates 

would fight Sobel for you but isn’t stupid enough to almost do it 

Buck Compton  

realized he had heart eyes for you before his old girl broke it off with him

WAS RELIEVED WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS DONE WITH HIM IN BASTOGNE 

the other Easy men were like “dude, what the hell are you waiting for. GO GET YOUR GIRL!” 

let’s you win at darts 

is also stupid and needy enough to arm wrestle for your attention

actually wins though 

wants you to kiss his guns (absolutely not sir) 

jealous and protective 

jealous af around Winters 

gets teased a lot about it by the other men

but they can see why he’s insecure about it, Winter’s could sweep any girl he wanted to off her feet

indeed a cuddle monster 

will only share a foxhole with you in Bastogne 

no one else

radiator of heat and thus a good cuddler though 

will only let you make fun of him without repercussions 

wants you to move in as soon as the war is over

always demands to be in your unit during an attack

will keep you safe at all costs (and one of the reasons why he got shot in the ass again) 

Floyd Talbert 

THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST BABY 

 people use to bully Tab for his condom shipments

now they bully him for the way he acts around you 

tough guy??? no. absolute stick of melted butter when around you 

thinks you’re a saint 

so does the rest of Easy though, so I guess it doesn’t matter

they had everyone from Easy give him a pep talk just to ask you out (Trigger even barked at him) 

he was actually worried you would reject him 

no one will ever reject that man lol it doesn’t make sense

not necessarily a cuddle monster

DEFINITELY A PDA MONSTER THOUGH 

likes when you sit on his lap 

can’t explain it, it just makes sense

will also arm wrestle for your attention 

will honestly do anything for you 

you need me to bring you Jupiter in a jar??? 

sure babe I’ll be right back 

has specific pet names for you 

his favorites are buttercup, angel, and beautiful

Babe Heffron 

P U R E 

does not get bullied for being in a relationship with you because everyone loves him

not a single person in this company, including you, would hesitate to sacrifice their life for that replacement 

whines a lot to you when you don’t give him attention

will arm wrestle for your attention and loses

has not had the chance to fight Sobel before but I feel like he could if he wanted to 

will tear Dike to shreads if he even mutter one hateful word against you 

cuddle monster #2323293

enjoys being the little spoon and the big spoon while in the foxhole 

shares his food with you during meals 

will not hesitate to get shot in the ass for you 

also will not hesitate to get shot for you in general 

is like an angry 6 year old baby when you don’t pay attention to him

is known to give the silent treatment when you’re too busy to talk to him for days

MAKE TIME FOR HIM DO IT NOW 

wants you to meet his Ma in Philly after the war 

has many hopeful dreams that include you after the war 

will only share chocolate with you and Gene

give him a hug, even when he says he doesn’t need it

Eugene Roe 

HOLY SWEET JESUS 

FIRST OFF 

NO ONE IN THEIR GODDAMN RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER MAKE FUN OF YOU, ESPECIALLY AROUND DOC

this man has so many pet names 

he is not afraid to use them on the battlefield, especially if you’re bleeding out because he’ll know you’ll answer to them

“darlin’, mon amour, ma mie, ma belle, ma chérie” 

 please stop Gene, it’s embarassing but also like don’t stop

get us a defibrillator his heart stopped while he was looking at you and we need to do CPR NOW-

thinks you’re the most beautiful girl ever

is not dumb enough to arm wrestle for your attention

he just makes this grumpy or upset face and you catch on quickly 

he’s also not dumb enough to fight Sobel

BUT HE WILL FIGHT ANY SOLDIER WITH THE AUDACITY TO INSULT YOU 

is always worrying about you

especially in Bastogne 

always jumping into your foxhole to check for any wounds

probably lost his sizzuhs that way

always has extra bandages just for you 

treats you with tender care

Donald Malarkey 

THE CUTEST COUPLE EVER

NOT EVEN SKIP HAS THE HEART TO MAKE FUN OF YOU 

is not dumb enough to fight Sobel for you 

doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to punch him though 

is dumb enough to arm wrestle for your attention 

it lowkey depends on the day though 

i mean 

he doesn’t need to arm wrestle for you to admire his arms 

like, have you seen that gif of him taking of his shirt???

loves cuddles in your foxhole but is not a cuddle monster

he’s a big baby when he gets tired

loves it when you take care of him 

has definitely fallen asleep once on your shoulder during watch 

would run up Currahee with full gear 3 times just to see you smile

he needs a hug. give him one now. 

likes to rest his chin on your head 

also wants you to move in (and maybe get married) after the war

treats you kindly, but he’s still a sarcastic little shit 

kiss his muscles

that was literally so long i can’t believe i finished

[boundtoyouphff]

Chapter 16: Unwritten

A/N: Here is the next chapter! I hope you have enjoyed Chapter 14 and Chapter 15 that were posted yesterday! Please read those first before continuing to this one.

Oh, the magic of new beginnings.

The hope that fills you and inspires you that a fresh start is that key ingredient that you have been missing.

Opening the book to a new page, the start of an amazing adventure yet to come instills me with such joy and happiness looking into the unwritten future. It is time to start a new book in my life and close the chapter of the past. You cannot start a new book while remaining stuck in the last one. So I'm putting you away on the shelf because you are still a part of my past that has brought me to this moment. One I must not forget, but I cannot linger amongst the pages any longer.

But, when I looked one last time at the cover of the book I realized that I was not the author of this. That somehow this book of my life was not written by me, but by those who thought they knew me and those who tried to steer the plot into their own direction.

It is time to write my own book. But, this book is still unwritten. Filled with empty pages, but bounded in hope for what I will be writing in them.

It's time for me to write my own story, to be the author of my own life and the creator of my own voice.

It's time to show the world who really is Emilia Andelle.

--------------------------------

Emilia took in a deep sigh as Ella continued to style her hair for her engagements with Green Peace this afternoon. The princess was handed a briefing by her new private secretary Evie Sharpe. Emilia released a genuine smile seeing how engaged and enthusiastic Evie was about today. She was a stark difference from her previous private secretary, Mia Deacon.

From the moment she had met Evie, Emilia eagerly wanted her to be spear heading her newly developed team. Even her father was impressed by the young woman's resume and further encouraged Emilia that she would be a great fit. Throughout the interviews of Emilia's new staff, her father Frederick was present for all of them as per the Queen's request. But, he made sure to take a step back and only provide advice when Emilia asked his opinion only after she had shared her own thoughts on the candidates. He wanted this team to be purely Emilia's choice and to find people who could not only share her vision, but help her successfully create it. The Crown Prince was proud of his youngest daughter for showing the initiative to create this remarkable team, one of her own making. The ideas she presented to him were well thought out like she had been visioning this idea for a while and now she was finally making that vision come to light.

"The director, Mr. Langford, of Green Peace will greet you when you arrive and introduce you to key staff members. Then we will proceed inside and have a tour of some of the sanctuaries before opening the new wing dedicated to helping the endangered, but also extremely adorable if I may add, Fennec Foxes." Evie was beaming as she finally took a breath and sat down across from Emilia. "They told me yesterday that they have a new litter of baby foxes that are dying to meet a princess and need to be named."

Emilia tossed her head back in laughter. "Well I certainly can do that. Thank you Evie for this."

"Speaking of endangered animals..." Ella piped up into the conversation. "I have this piece of jewelry that you wanted me to order for today." Emilia's stylist held up a pair of earrings that were very delicately designed butterflies with a custom emerald green gem stone.

"Wow! These are perfect!" Emilia carefully cradled them into her hand. The princess was able to sit down with Ella and Evie to go through her personal style for attending engagements. Emilia wished to add even more of an impact through the clothes and accessories that she chose to wear to shine a light on young sand upcoming designers, local designers during her tours and showcase accessories that profits go towards a charity project or change initiative. These butterfly earrings were created by a Illyrian college student who was using the proceeds from purchases to fund her non-profit conservation project of protecting at risk butterflies and birds. It was Emilia's hope that she could shine a light on this piece and use her influence to aid this young college student that shared her passion for conservation. It was little things like this that Emilia would use to create her own identity. To show how far her reach could go beyond engagements and simply making an appearance.

Emilia suddenly became quiet as she dug out a bracelet that was sent to her by Harry. She noticed it on one of their recent video chats and asked him about it. It was a piece that represented Harry's rhino conservation project in Africa. Emilia was hesitant to ask the prince if she could have one and wear for today's engagement. Harry's smile lit up at her question and was happy to send her one. But, he did feel the need to remind her that he is known for wearing it all the time and that the press could link them together if she were to wear it.

"Ooooh, I love that bracelet. It would work so well with your outfit today Emilia! Those blues would tie in perfectly." Ella smiled happily before she got a glimpse of Emilia's uncertain expression that had formed on her lips.

"I know, I just don't know if I should wear it." The princess released a deep sigh. She stood up quickly and grabbed her phone. "I will be right back. I need to call someone." Emilia didn't feel right wearing it today without Harry's blessing for the simple fact that they could be linked, but a piece inside Emilia wanted Harry along for the start of her new journey today and by wearing the bracelet, he could be.

Evie and Ella both watched the princess find a private area to make a call. Evie slowly turned her head to look up at Ella who was displaying a happy grin as if she knew exactly who Emilia was calling. "Should I know anything Ella?" Evie stood up and faced her with an inquisitive look.

Ella shook her head. "No. Whatever do you mean?" Ella perfectly played it off and got back to her work.

"Hello?" Harry's deep voice resonated on the line immediately bringing a smile to her lips.

The princess closed her eyes and sighed. Just the sound of his voice was enough for Emilia to miss him. "Hey." She quietly responded.

"You ok?" Harry had picked up on her quiet tone. He knew that today was a big day for Emilia and her new team. He had stayed up quite late talking to his girlfriend and calming her nerves.

"Yeah I am alright. Getting ready for my engagement." She told Harry while finding a chair to make herself comfortable in.

"I am honestly so nervous. It needs to go perfectly well." The stress in Emilia's voice was evident. It was clear the amount of pressure Emilia was facing today was insurmountable. She had to prove to her grandmother what she was capable of achieving on her own merit.

"Babe..." Harry breathed out. "You are going to kill it. Just don't kill any of the endangered animals and you will be fine!"

Emilia groaned loudly at his attempt to make her laugh. "Henry..."

"Oh come on love. That was pretty funny." Harry continued to snicker on the other line being unable to hold in his laughter.

The princess could not hold in her laughter, hearing her boyfriend's infectious giggle ring out. She dissolved into a fit of giggles feeling the anxiety about her day float away. Emilia sighed deeply, silently thanking Harry for that moment of relief.

"Thank you for making me laugh." Emilia suddenly became quiet, thinking about the reason why she had originally wanted to talk to Harry. She held the bracelet he had given her in her hand, analyzing it carefully. "There was something I wanted to ask you..." she trailed off.

"What's that?" Harry encouraged her.

"You know how you sent me your Rhino bracelet that you always wear?" Emilia led on.

"Yeah, you got it?" His soft voice spoke.

"I did. But, I wanted to ask you if it would be ok if I wore it on my engagement today." The dark haired princess breathed out. "Before you say anything, I want to explain." Emilia felt the need to, as the bracelet would surely link Harry to her if the media picked up on it. "I know that the press could find out that it is something you may have given me, but it has been reported that we are merely royal friends. I want - " Emilia was hesitating to tell Harry what was growing in her mind.

"Just tell me, Emilia."

"Today is a fresh start for me. My first engagement with my new team who I chose and this is something that I have wanted for so long. A new beginning to do the things that I want to do in the way I want to do them. You were a big factor in encouraging me to do this Henry. I want you to be a part of this new start today and I know you cannot be here. So I thought I could wear the bracelet today... so I know that you are still with me in another way. You are a part of this new journey for me." Emilia took in a shaky breath after finishing her rant while she waited for her boyfriend's reply.

"Emilia, you did not have to ask me permission to wear it." Harry's deep voice sounded over the phone. "I want you to wear it today and remember that I always have your back, no matter what. I don't care if they link it to me." The prince spoke freely. "You came here for the Invictus Games and I just did a whole tour with you in Illyria."

"I just wanted to check with you first." Emilia smiled happily at her boyfriend's response. "Thank you for supporting me babe and believing in me."

"Now, go out there and kick some ass. Call me when it's all done and let me know how it goes."

The smile plastered on Emilia's lips was hard to miss. "I will." Emilia sighed heavily. "God I can't wait to see you..."

"Don't remind me that I have to wait a few extra days because someone was leaving later than planned and I have to sit through two days of engagements knowing that you are in the same damn city as me!" Harry started to moan.

"It's not my fault!" Emilia giggled. "I will try my best to distract you anyhow."

"You better. Have a safe flight tomorrow."

"Bye baby."

Emilia hung up the phone and saw the press secretary Olivia Holmes and her new head of security Hugo Blackburn walk into her apartment.

Olivia searched the room for the princess and found her off to the side. She smiled warmly and started to approach Emilia. "Are you ready to go, your highness?"

Olivia Holmes was hired as Emilia's new press secretary, a liaison between the palace communications team and the Illyrian media. She came highly recommended by one of her closest friends, Scarlet, who was a news anchor. Scarlet was even afraid to cross Olivia and with her impressive resume of working for the British Illyrian Ambassador and for the famous female empowering Illyrian Senator Louisa Banks. Olivia was a force to be reckoned with, but she was a hard sell initially until Emilia shared her vision of what she wished to achieve as she found out that she was not planning on being the same cookie cutter royals as the rest of her family.

"For the last time Olivia, please just call me Emilia." The princess smiled warmly then released a deep sigh. "I would be lying if I said that I was not nervous about today..." Emilia glanced down briefly and put on Harry's bracelet.

"I would rather you be nervous right now than over confident." Olivia smirked. "Now, I will go over the journalist who will be asking you a few questions. She has been told not to drift away from these set few or she knows the price she will pay if she does." Emilia's press secretary giggled, lightening up the mood.

Emilia was half listening to Olivia when she saw Hugo approach her RPO Tristan who was standing beside the newly hired RPO, Kane McKinney. Her eyes locked in Tristan's gaze as a proud smile grew on his lips making the princess beam in return.

The princess had endured a long internal debate while she thought of giving Tristan the position of her head of security instead of Hugo Blackburn. It was not because he did not deserve it, more so the fact that Emilia trusted him more than anyway on her team and she wanted him right beside her. She sat Tristan down and told him why he was not getting the position while she was in near tears, but Tristan understood her reasons and told the young princess that he would rather be out protecting her than having the worries of being head of her security.

Kane McKinney had actually been recommended to Emilia from Prince Harry. Kane and Harry served together in the British Forces and went through basic training together. He had recently lost his Illyrian wife to a long battle of cancer, but was not ready to return to the life of the military and had chosen to stay in Illyria after his wife's passing. Harry was able to convince him that he could use his skills as a protection officer and when Emilia told Harry of her plans to form a whole new team, Kane was the first to come to his mind. Tristan had been showing Kane the ropes of being a royal protection officer even though he had completed a rigorous training course prior to his employment.

Hugo was lecturing them when Emilia approached her security team with a kind welcoming smile.

"Hello ma'am." Kane bowed his head. 'Ohh, I mean your highness." He stumbled out of his mouth clearly putting his nerves on display. Tristan rolled his eyes with a light shake of his head.

"Good morning Kane." She giggled at his expense. "Just take a deep breath and remember to watch Tristan. Luke is with us for a few more weeks to help out until you find your feet" Emilia rubbed Kane's shoulder in a warm comforting manner. "Also, like I have said please address me as Emilia. Just don't call me by Tristan's nickname for me and I won't have to fire you." She made light of the situation and got a quick laugh from Kane.

Hugo remained standing there in silence rather stoic and serious. Mr. Blackburn was the only one on Emilia's new team that she had a few doubts about. Emilia's father Fredrick did like what he saw on paper, but the man was a bit of a drill sergeant. She wanted to give the position to Luke Balvondio, one of her present RPOs but his wife was having a child in a few weeks and planned to take some leave to which Emilia was happy to grant. Luke knew the ins and outs of the security side and would have been the perfect fit. She secretly hoped to make the change once Luke was ready to return to his duties.

"Are you ready to leave ma'am?" Hugo's deep voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Yes, let's arrive on time today." Emilia took in a deep shaky breath and glanced around the room at her new team. A sense of excitement filled her making her lips spread into a beaming grin. She had done it and now she was about to show the world and her grandmother, The Queen, who this new Emilia was.

—————————

Tristan was quietly speaking to Kane, telling him what was about to happen as Emilia's convoy pulled up to the entrance of Green Peace Conservation.

Emilia sat quietly across from them, peering out the window to see the mass crowd lined along the metal barriers that had been waiting just to catch a glimpse of the princess. Her eyes wavered away from the crowd to see the media with cameras at the ready.

Clearly someone had felt her nerves exude from her body as she felt a soft touch on the arm. "Emilia, just remember to be yourself and that is enough." Evie's soft comforting whisper immediately dissipated all of her fears.

The princess turned her head slowly to lock in Evie's kind gaze. "Thank you Evie."

The car rolled to a stop in front of the entrance making the princess shift her gaze onto Tristan. "Ready Emilia?" His blue eyes held her gaze steady.

Emilia gave a light nod of the head signalling that she was indeed ready. Tristan jumped out of one side of the car, while Kane followed suit through the other side. Within a matter of seconds Emilia's door was opened by Tristan as a wave of screams greeted the princess.

She stepped out elegantly with a bright smile and turned back to wave to the crowd. It was the plan to do a walk about after the engagement, but Emilia felt it was best to do one now as well. These people had been waiting for her for hours and it only felt right to do so. Besides, part of her vision was to connect with the people and show the people that Emilia was merely one of them.

"Tristan?" Emilia only had to say his name to let him know what she was wanting to do. Tristan replied with a simple nod and spoke into his coms to alert the security team in the change of plans.

The princess stepped away from the entrance alerting the crowd that she was about to do a walk to greet them and they erupted in the loudest cheer that brought an enormous grin to Emilia's lips. Her light blue dress with white flowers that hung well off of her body flowed in the wind with each passing step. She tucked behind a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear while glancing quickly at the ground.

Emilia's Dress

Emilia's Hair and Makeup

She made it to the first awaiting group and took her time greeting the happy smiling crowd who were so eager to meet the princess. Emilia engaged in a conversation with a nursery school group who had come out to see the exhibition of the fennec foxes as well. They all had drawn pictures of their favourite animals for Emilia, giving them to her as a present.

"I might have to buy a new castle to put all of these pictures up!" Emilia joked and the crowd roared in laughter. "Thank you! I will see you inside." The princess was about to step away when a little girl escaped through the barrier and came running at her with her arms stretched open for a hug.

The little girl was so ecstatic that she had escaped through the confines of the barriers, but she was running so hard that she tripped and fell, scraping her knee on the concrete.

Emilia hastily went to her and knelt down to tend to the little girl who was now wailing. The blonde curly haired child clutched her knee and whimpered. Emilia brushed away the dirt and comforted the young child until the police officers let her teacher through. "It's alright sweetheart. Let's get your knee cleaned up so you can feel better."

The princess stood the young girl up and wiped away her tear stained cheeks and spoke to her quietly until she calmed down. Emilia then pulled the little one into the tight hug that she had come to receive and the whole crowd awed at the kind gesture. The child's teacher kept on apologizing, but Emilia simply brushed it off as no big deal and continued down the way to greet other members of the crowd.

She was stopped by a young woman seeming to be similar in age to the princess. The brave woman asked if she could spend a few minutes interviewing her for one of her college papers for her Journalism degree. Emilia knew she did not have time to stand there for an interview at that moment, but she told the college student to give her details to Evie and she would be happy to arrange another time to be interviewed.

Emilia felt Evie lean in and whisper in her ear that it was time for them to go for their engagement. The princess shook a few more hands and then stepped away from the crowd who was calling her back. "I will come around again after!" She hollered back and walked purposely towards a patiently waiting Mr. Langford, the director of Green Peace.

Mr. Langford politely greeted the princess in a bowed head and a firm shake of the hand. "Welcome back, your royal highness. It's a pleasure to have you visit us again."

"I am so sorry to keep you waiting, Peter. I appreciate the invite again to come and see all the work you and your amazing team are doing. Plus, I hear the Fennec Foxes are adorable and quite playful." Emilia was beaming. She felt relaxed, confident and excited to get this engagement underway.

"Emilia! Over here!"

"Give us a smile will you?"

The press behind the barriers started to holler at Emilia all eager to capture that one headliner image for the papers tomorrow. The princess put on a brave face and turned to smile at the media for only a brief second. Giving them limited time to photograph her which many photographers would surely be complaining about in the upcoming days. Olivia had briefed the media team and royal photographers that there would now be a few select members of the photographers actually allowed in the events and engagements coming forward. This change was quite the sore spot for the vulturous press pack that loved to capture every little moment of Emilia's engagements and fished for anything to use against her in the papers the next day. This idea was given to Emilia by Harry himself as he explained how the British royals conducted engagements with the press.

Olivia was hesitant to limit the amount of access to Emilia during engagements but found a way to work around this by allowing one or two photographers selected by Olivia to capture photographs of Emilia during her engagements. But, the catch was they had to share their content with any willing member of the media upon a request. The photographers had to sign an agreement before hand to ensure this would happen.

Emilia knew that there would be immediate backlash with this decision, but she wanted the engagements to be a bit more intimate. To be able to truly focus on the reason why she was there and not have a hungry pack of wolves on her back. By limiting their access to Emilia showed that she was not going to play their games anymore and that she held the power hand.

The princess continued on her way into Green Peace being introduced to some familiar faces and new staff before her official tour began. She sat in some of the teaching sessions that were being taught to local school children.

Olivia had pulled Emilia out of one of the sessions to conduct a short interview with Kelly-Anne Arbour, an Illyrian journalist. This was the part of the engagement that Emilia had tried to convince Olivia to forgo and not conduct one. She had never really been keen to do interviews as her parents had taught her from a young age to keep a healthy distance between the royal family and the media.

Emilia sat down across from Kelly-Anne and put on a smiling face, hiding the fact that she did not want to be a part of this. An innate gut feeling had settled in the princess's stomach that convinced her mind that something was not right about this situation. But, Olivia had vetted the journalist and she was to adhere to a strict line of questioning. She had to put her trust in Olivia.

"It's such a pleasure to sit here with you today, your royal highness, and be able to speak with you." The journalist welcomed here kindly.

The princess smiled with a gentle nod of reply. "Thank you for having me."

"Now, I know you are quite the busy woman here today out at Green Peace. But, I must steal a few of your minutes to ask you some questions." Kelly-Anne started out. "Now, as we have all been briefed, you have formed a new palace team as of late and today is your first engagement back with them. May I ask why you thought this change was needed? Why The Queen's previous choice of Mrs. Deacon was fired?"

Emilia took in a deep breath. None of these questions were what the journalist was supposed to ask Emilia.The princess turned her head and briefly locked eyes with a furious looking Olivia. "I appreciate your question, Kelly. But, the matter is rather simple that was outlined in the briefing you received." The princess informed her.

"Yes, but if you wish to comment about Mia Deacon?" The interviewer pushed further.

The princess tilted her head at the bravery she boasted. "I do not comment on past employees' work just like any other employer. Now shall we move on because you now only have two minutes left. As you said, I am quite the busy woman this afternoon." Emilia's sass came forth rather strong as Olivia got a glimpse of it first hand.

"Yes, let's talk about a few of your jewelry pieces." Emilia braced herself for what was about to be asked. "I noticed that one of your bracelets today is also famously worn by another royal, Prince Harry, who had recently visited Illyria on tour. Was this given to you by the prince himself? What sort of relationship would you say the prince and you have as it seems you two have been spending a lot of time together lately?"

Emilia was prepared for this and had the perfect reply. The princess glanced down at the bracelet and played with it a little before answering. "I am glad you noticed it. It was given to me by Prince Harry when he was in Illyria in an official capacity and I decided to wear it today to showcase how conservation is so important right now in the world. We are seeing animals getting added to the endangered list on a daily basis while their numbers are continuing to dwindle. It's important for everyone to play their part in protecting these magnificent creatures and give them that fighting chance at survival. As the reach me and Prince Harry have and the global platform that we are given, we have the responsibility to bring these issues into the light and broadcast the efforts of so many people that are trying to make change in the conservation world right now."

The journalist attempted to ask another question when Olivia stepped in and pulled Emilia out of the interview. "Thanks for your time Kelly-Anne, but her royal highness must continue to adhere to her tight schedule this afternoon."

Olivia fell into step beside Emilia and quietly scolded her. "Emilia... we need to talk about what you just confirmed about the British Prince Harry. This should have been run past me first."

"Not here Olivia. Clearly she was not even supposed to ask that question, this is why we don't do interviews." Emilia was furious at the journalist. "Scold her for not staying with the pre-planned questions, not me." The princess walked off being unhappy already with Olivia.

The princess stepped into the enclosure with a few members of the crowd watching her as she was guided through the endangered Fennec fox enclosure. Emilia was eager to learn more about these animals and how Green Peace was aiding them. She nearly gushed when asked if she wanted to meet and name a new litter of foxes, simply replying with a beaming smile and excited squeal to which the crowd found adorable.

She sat down on a nearby rock as a member of staff pulled out a couple of freshly born foxes who were fast asleep. Emilia had a few in her lap all snuggled together while she gently petted them. The mother then came out and rubbed up against Emilia.

"Is it ok for us to be handling them? They seem rather used to humans and the mom isn't as protective as I thought she would be." The princess questioned with slight concern. These were supposed to be wild animals after all.

"Excellent question. We are the only things that they know. Most of the foxes here will stay in a sanctuary like this until we are able to build a place more relatable to the wild and re-train them to be self sufficient." The handler informed her. "Now, we need to name them and thought it was best if our patron helped us with this batch!"

"I'd love to!" Emilia looked down adoringly at the little sleeping foxes then back up towards the crowd. An idea clicked in her mind.

"Would anyone like to help me name these little guys?!" Emilia hollered out and a few school aged children jumped at the chance to help the princess come up with names.

Emilia sat down into the backseat and released a heavy sigh. She closed her eyes and felt the door slam shut and the car pull away.

"Thank god that is over!" The princess chuckled lightly as. A wave of relief coursed through her. "Well done everyone!" Emilia glanced around at her team and thanked them for their hard work in such a successful visit.

—————

Later that evening, Emilia had called in Olivia and Evie into her apartment. She was dressed casually while finishing up packing for her trip to London for her training and Olympic trials for quite a few weeks.

Evie knocked lightly while she stood at the opened door to Emilia's private bedroom door with Olivia in behind her. "Good evening, Emilia. You wished to see us."

"Yes! Come on in!" Emilia waved them through as she placed a few more items into her suitcase. "Please sit down and make yourself comfy wherever."

The princess had picked up on Olivia's quiet demeanour when they arrived back at the palace. Emilia knew that she had to inform Evie and Olivia about her relationship with Prince Harry. But, she only wanted people to know who absolutely were required to.

Emilia sat across from them and smiled warmly. "I wanted to thank you for all of your hard work for today. You guys made everything run so smoothly and I think it was an amazing start for what's to come. So again, thank you!"

Evie was all smiles and said it was all around a team effort. Olivia was simply pleased with the results of the engagement today.

"I also called you here this evening because I wish to disclose a private matter to you that I only want your ears to know." Emilia lowered her gaze and found herself playing with the rhino bracelet on her wrist half indicating what she was about to tell them. "I am very cautious about my private life and do not wish to have many people in the know about my relationships, but I do understand that certain members of my staff need to be aware...." The princess trailed off and lifted her head to lock in Evie and Olivia's gaze while they patiently waited for her to continue.

"Prince Harry and I are in a relationship and have been since he ended his tour of Illyria last month. No one in my family is aware of this except for a few key people and it must remain this way until I deem it so. I realize that you need two need to be aware of this as key members of my staff. If any personal matters need to be addressed in this case then they must be done so in private and only with you two present." Emilia confessed solemnly. She did not want more people to find out about Harry and hers relationship at this time.

"Emilia, thank you for informing us." Olivia smiled warmly seeing how difficult it was for Emilia to openly trust them with this information, but it was vital that they were aware. "Will you be seeing him in London?" Olivia offered a kind hopeful smile.

Emilia lifted her head with a beaming smile graced on her lips. "Yes... it's been a long time since I have."

"I am sure that you miss him. I think you two are a perfect match, Emilia." Evie was gushing about this revelation. "We promise that this information is for our ears only." Evie took her leave.

"I am sorry about earlier, Emilia." Olivia began to apologize. "But, I need to know these sorts of things or else I would have advised you not to wear the bracelet today."

Emilia stood up. "No no. I need to apologize. I know you needed to know and that is why I am telling you now." She sighed deeply. "I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner about him, but I just wanted Harry to be a part of my day today. I do realize that may have been a mistake in how I achieved that. I don't always get it right Olivia, but I learn from my mistakes."

"No need to explain, Emilia. Have a safe trip tomorrow. We will be in touch."

--------

Emilia had finally landed into London after what appeared to be a long flight, but was only a few short hours. She was whisked away into an awaiting convoy with Tristan climbing into the backseat with her while Kane took control of driving the car.

The princess felt a sense of relief wash through her as she had made it to what would be her new home for the next month for her Olympic Training. She was still on a high after her successful first engagement yesterday with her new palace team and even received an adoring message from her father who watched the full coverage of it.

"Feels a bit like deja vu." Tristan commented as the memory of their last time in London came to the forefront of his mind. "Except this time we actually have a proper security team for you and I know I won't lose my job when we go back to Illyria or get my ass chewed off by the queen." He tossed his head back in laughter at Emilia's expense.

"Tristan... I can still fire you." Emilia glanced up and smiled warmly into his blue eyes.

"You could never get rid of me princess." He cocked a crooked smirk. "I think we have already established this on the fact you never could really lose me unlike my predecessors."

"You are right." Emilia shook her head. "Then I would have to stare at poor Luke all the time."

"Ya, I heard that Emilia." Luke hollered from the front.

It had been nearly an hour when Emilia looked outside the window wondering why they had not even reached the outer city limits of London yet. "Tristan, why aren't we in London?" The curious princess questioned as she looked further out deciphering that they were still indeed in the English countryside, but the setting of the sun made it quite difficult to make out where they actually were in combination with the dark tinted windows.

"We had to take a detour to avoid an accident, Emilia. Shouldn't be too much longer until we reach the city." Tristan avoided eye contact with the princess making Emilia inwardly question his response.

A few minutes later, Emilia felt the vehicle turn down a country side road hearing the gravel crunching beneath the tires. The princess glanced outside quickly to find that they were still in the middle of the English countryside, but could barely make out their surroundings through the dark tinted glass. She locked eyes with Tristan and raised her eyebrow up in suspicion as her gut held a feeling that something was indeed up.

"Tristan... you have one chance to tell me where we are or where we are going." Emilia's tone was serious, but her protection officer simply shrugged in response.

"Like I said, we took a detour and should be arriving soon." His answer was vague and nonchalant.

Not even a moment later the car rolled to a complete stop and Tristan motioned to undo his seatbelt. "Guess we are here." He finally looked at Emilia with a glint in his eyes.

"Stop!" Emilia stopped him from getting out of the car. "Where's here?!" The princess was beyond confused and wondering why Tristan was acting so strange.

"You will find out soon enough." Tristan got out of the car and rounded the vehicle to open Emilia's door.

Emilia slowly climbed out, looking at a happily smiling Tristan who closed the door behind her. The princess glanced around at the exquisite countryside manor that greeted her amongst the dimly lit sky.

"We took a detour to the countryside, Emilia. To surprise you." Tristan quietly spoke.

"Surprise me?" Emilia looked away from the manor for one second to glance at Tristan. But, when she turned her head back to the manor she saw that someone had come walking out the front door towards her.

She gasped loudly and covered her mouth with both hands at the surprise walking towards her. Emilia could not believe what rather who was before her eyes.

It was Harry casually walking towards the princess with a beaming smile.

"Harry." Emilia whispered his name as if she had to speak it to believe that she was actually seeing her boyfriend. Her heart tugged in her chest at the mere sight of him as her eyes welled up.

The princess was frozen in shock, unable to move her feet forward for a few seconds. The prince had stopped walking towards her and placed his hands casually in his jean pockets. The beaming smile that was evident on his lips, present for everyone there to see, caused her feet to finally run towards him. It had been a month since she had last seen Harry and Emilia did not want to waste one more second not being in his arms.

She took off running towards the prince. "Harry!" Emilia called his name louder being unable to hold in her excitement from seeing him.

He started to laugh at her shock while opening his arms to welcome her. Harry felt Emilia's body come crashing into him making him take a few steps back to try and steady himself from the impact. Her arms wrapped around him tightly while she buried her head into his chest and squeezed him tight.

"Hi love." He cradled the crown of her head gently and closed his eyes, relishing in the fact that Emilia was once again in his arms. The couple stood there for a few quiet moments embraced tightly with one another before Emilia broke apart and wrapped her arms around Harry's waist while peaking up at him. "I hope you didn't mind the detour." Harry chuckled while he stared into the depths of her icy blues eyes that the prince so terribly had missed.

"You are here..." Emilia slowly shook her head as the shock continued to linger in her body at the surprise of it all.

Harry's blue eyes softened while he angled his head down at his girlfriend with an adoring smile. He nodded his head lightly. "I'm here Emilia." His hand reached out and cupped her cheek tenderly before gently stroking it. He watched her eyes close and squint shut before opening them again as if she was trying to convince herself that this was not a dream.

"I have missed you so so much." Emilia became emotional and stood up on her tippy toes to snake her arm Harry's neck to pull him down towards her lips.

Harry controlled his urge and stopped a few inches away from her lips. He could feel her hot breath float across his lips as if they were calling to him. Emilia nudged her nose against Harry's, but the smile that formed on her delicious lips was the one that he had longed to see the one he often dreamt about. It was her natural happy smile that very little people were given unguarded access to.

"I have missed that smile." His deep voice weakened Emilia's knees as her other arm grasped his forearm to steady herself.

She could not wait a second longer as she crashed her lips into Harry's, connecting them with a passionate kiss that lingered. Harry immediately cupped both of her cheeks to hold her still while he continued to taste her delicate lips. The world around them ceased to exist as they found themselves locked into their own embrace while time stood still. The universe allowing them to share this moment of reuniting together.

Emilia was feeling the cloudy haze effect that her breathlessness had caused her. Her lips gently fell off of Harry's as she inhaled and breathed in his signature scent that brought a sense of comfort within her. She moaned softly causing Harry to suddenly capture her lips once again, locking them back into the passion fuelled kiss.

The princess gave up all control and succumbed to Harry's touch, loving the way he kissed her hard with such desire. Emilia felt his tongue seeking further permission to lock with her own to which she freely gave, allowing Harry to deepen their kiss further. His hand trailed down her cheek to the side of her neck feeling her heartbeat pounding through her soft skin.

Harry broke apart from their kiss and opened his eyes to find Emilia staring up at him with lust filled blue orbs greeting him. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, resting it while they both attempted to regain their breath. Emilia's chest was rising and falling hard as the prince heard her jagged breath.

"I hope it was ok to surprise you like this." Harry was the first to break their comfortable silence. "I asked Tristan to keep it from you. I just couldn't wait a few more days to see you." Emilia's heartstrings tugged at his confession.

"It is the best surprise anyone has given me." Emilia giggled happily. "But, where are we?" The princess broke apart from their embrace to quickly look around.

"Highgrove House." Harry's hand dropped from her hip and blindly found her hand to hold. He turned around and gave her hand a light tug to follow him. "It's my fathers estate, but I used to spend my weekends here after school. It's quite secluded so I thought it would be best for us to spend the weekend here before you start your training."

Emilia lightly stepped beside Harry as she leaned into, grasping his forearm with her free hand. "Wait... what about your engagements?" She snapped her head up to find Harry smirking mischievously.

"They were never booked, Emilia." Harry chuckled lightly. "I lied to you so you would not suspect a thing, I'm sorry."

Emilia shook her head. "Just don't lie to me again, unless it is a surprise like this." The princess stood up on her tippy toes and placed a soft kiss to Harry's cheek.

"Come on, let me show you around." Harry squeezed her hand tightly. "I cannot wait to have 3 full days to have you all to myself."

"Hmm, whatever shall we do Henry?" Emilia could not hide her excitement even if she wanted to.

Quite frankly, she did not really care as long as if she was with Harry.

[eerythingisshaka]

Will the Bell Ring? Pt. 6

[Erik Killmonger x Black!OC]

Word Count:  6.7K

A/N:  I am now inspired to write again because a tweet said that Disney+ had hella issues on the date it dropped and 10 million people still stuck around to watch it.  I’m taking that same energy with me.

“Mara, I won’t ask you again.”  Erik says sternly.  Kimara looks around casually, glad that they are at least located in a public place...though he still doesn’t seem to care.

“MARA!”  Erik barks.

“Don’t cause a scene!  Damn, you have absolutely no common sense!”  She hisses as an elderly white couple looks away and walks faster down the path.  A breeze starts to pick up in the air, causing the treetops to dance in the distance.

“Really?  All I got is common sense when I hear you tryna pull a fast one on me.  And to bring someone I respect in on this, that’s fuckin low!”

Kimara adjusts her seating on the bench as the metal digs into you thigh meat.  “Respect??  Oh please, you were just knocking him on some petty shit last week!  And I didn’t mean to!  Ok?  I’m sorry!”

“For what?  I need specifics, lay out the entire situation for all the other nosy white folks walkin round the park today.  They wanna see someone act a fool, I’ll give it to them if you keep pussy footin around.”  Erik leans back on the bench, spreading his chest wide with pride as he stares her down.  She can’t stand him.

Kimara lets out a sigh, laying one hand on his inner thigh for extra focus.  “I am sorry...for putting you through so much pain and agony.  I know how much the relationship means to and I shouldn’t have put it in danger by getting myself involved without talking to you first.  And even then, I should’ve known better.  I couldn’t even enjoy it without thinking about you and what you would think.  So...never again.  I promise.”

Erik scratches his chin, bouncing his leg before dipping his head down to look at Kimara over his fake gold rimmed eyeglasses with matronly contempt.  “Long as you learnt never to watch Euphoria without me, we good.”

Kimara squeezes his leg, letting out a huge sigh of relief.  “Thank God.  You really bout to cut me over Fez and Rue huh?”

Erik sits up, clapping his hands together.  “They are the true OTP if I ever seen one.  They ain’t even gotta be intimate or whatever, just the fact that someone been through her journey and is now doing everything to help clean her up while the forces of small white town bullshit enable her is...poetry dawg.”  Erik leans back shaking his head in awe.

“Babe, you are sappier than a maple tree in the summertime.”  Kimara shakes her head, the loveliness of their conversation filling her head like a delicious fog she didn’t want to ever see the end of, but Erik’s lunch break was almost up.

Erik kisses her softly, making Kimara wipe the transfer of her gloss off his lips.  

“Uh uh!  Don’t worry bout all that baby.  If that shit makes your lips as good as I like, I could use some too.”

“You so stupid!”  Kimara cackles as they both get off their bench and walk side by side: his hand on her hip, her arms locked around his waist with one ear to his chest.

“This was nice.”  Erik says distantly, more to himself than to her.

Kimara cranes her face toward his.  “Yeah?”

He nods.  “Yeah, just to not think about any of the bullshit we’ve had to deal with, enjoy God’s creations out here in the gentrified park.  I feel like a damn retiree with stock and bonds and 401K real fat.”

Kimara settles in step with him again.  “But you have all those things…”

“But I ain’t retired!  White America don’t want a nigga to retire.  Swear everything would go belly up if Black folks could live off of the fruits meant for them.  They’d burn the whole damn thing down before that would happen.”

Kimara rubs his back to settle him.  “Peaceful thoughts, remember?”

Erik’s chest expands and caves.  “Aight.  But real life is literally around the corner, so as much as I would like to have you in my office, I got shit to take care of.”  Erik takes her chin and lifts her face up to his.  “My Mara, My Mara…”

“...I’ll never be farther.”  Kimara says with only slight embarrassment beause their little saying is so damn cute.  Erik used to do cute rhymes with her name around the quad whenever she got down on herself or he thought he had her on the ropes to giving in to him.  Rarely worked, but constantly appreciated.   “I gotta go get some extra stuff for our dinner party later this week, so hopefully I won’t be too long at the studio.  We got a new artist laying down a demo that should be pretty fire.”

Erik puts a fist to his mouth excitedly.  “Oh worm?  Finally my lady finna be the new M-M-M-Maybach Music!”

Kimara rolls her eyes.  “I’ll be more than that!  I got about two songs on there I’m getting writing credit for.  I may wind up on the radio and you don’t even know it.  But you’ll know them checks!”

Erik couldn’t smile harder if he had hooks in his mouth.  “Your passion got you going off!  Nothing wrong with it either, you deserve it.   It’s been a long time coming.”

“It has.  So, go on so I can make this deal happen.”

They locked fingers until distance forced them to break their grip.  Erik waves  off Kimara as she saunters up the path to the main road.  His chest swelled with pride over his lady, she’s always been one of a kind.  Her happiness is his happiness, without question.  As he walked away, across the exquisitely decorated post modern/art deco lobby, to the elevator to the 33rd floor to his office, a cloud of dread weighed back on him that only got better with the help of Alaina.  If she wasn’t his partner on this revamp project with Boeing, he’d be shitting himself on a regular.

Erik walks by a conference room, stopping short of turning the corner of the glass walls.  He opens the door and peeks inside to see his friend hunched over a laptop, jumping slightly in her seat as he came across the room towards her.

“Damn, Erik!  Why do your big ass feet step so lightly?  Almost gave me a heart attack!”  She breathed out a ragged sigh of relief.

Erik pulls out a chair to sit down, chuckling at her expense.  “My bad,  I just had to come in when I seen you slaving away in here.  Figured you could use a distraction.”

Alaina smooths her hair back in her bun, her nude colored mouth in a tight, closed smile.

“I WISH you were a distraction for me, but unfortunately this involves the both of us.  While you were on break, Asshole and Son recommend we draft a final proposal for the FAA to approve.”

Erik sat shocked.  “What? Fuck, I mean that’s fucking crazy but kind of exciting too, right?”

She wags her finger.  “Don’t forget we are only the field niggas round here.  It sounds like an honor but in the end I am sure little Leave it to Beaver will be taking all the credit his daddy can send his way in order to keep the big wigs in good graces within the family.”

Erik taps his fingers on the deep wooden table, thinking.  Would they really double cross him that far?  Bringing him in on a project to mentor the bosses son only to pull the rug up under him and make him look like player two?

“That’s so damn white, sounds right.”  Erik sighs in somewhat disbelief.

Alaina shrugs.  “Told you.  And until I hear it from him otherwise, that’s what I’m going to assume.”  Alaina sighs and stretches her shoulders before going back in on the keyboard.  

Erik furrows his brow.  “If that’s it, then why are you still working on it?  Don’t you wanna pack up and move on?  You were brought here special for this, your time is wasted the most.”

Alaina’s eyes cast a ‘nigga please’ gaze on Erik.  “Mr. Future Baby Fava, I think our time has been equally wasted.  But guess what isn’t cut for my time here?  My pay: which is double what I make at my primary while I’m here so…”  She slowly leans over to grab Erik’s wrist.  “...until I hear the fat white man sing, we’re gonna work on this project for as long as we can to milk that cow til it lays a golden goose egg and rolls the tortoise to the finish line!”

Erik scoffs.  Alaina’s antics are half the reason Erik can’t quite distance himself from her.  She has a liveliness that he’s kind of missed lately.  “Man, you a trip and a fifth.  But I like your style. Might as well get it done then.”

“Oh fuck that, I’m done for the day.”   Alaina crisply closes her laptop, packin it under her arm and grabbing her case with the other.

“Whatchu mean?  I thought you said-”

“I worked through my lunch, like a boss ass bitch does.  You gotta work yours off, so Imma leave you to it.  Call me if you bleeding out your ears from stress: no less than that.”

Erik rolls his eyes as he gets up and watches her walk away.  The woman is working his last good nerve on purpose, but he likes it.  The job isn’t as boring or predictable with her around.  Now he just has to show her who the superstar has been all this time.  If he works hard at this, it won’t be for these fat cats, it’s gonna be a bonafide competition and he ain’t scared to fight a girl.

—

At the studio, Kimara finishes up a session with a local up and coming artist named Delilah.  Sweet girl, comes across very introverted until a mic is in front of her.  Kimara appreciated her vibes and talent, baby girl is on trend so long as she stays cute she is bound to be noticed.  Kimara ends their session a little early, wishing her well when it was time to wrap.  

Kimara felt like the studio was her second home most of the time but today she had to get to her real home REAL quick to get dinner prepared.  Tonight is the double dinner date with T’Challa and his boo of the moment.  She kept trying to get ahold of Erik for help with ingredients but he kept leaving her on read.

Rick, the studio owner caught Kimara before she was able to get out the door.

“Hey Rick  I know I cut things early, but I don’t have a lot of time unfortunately.  I have dinner to take care of tonight with some friends that is so damn important, you wouldn’t believe.”

Rick smiles a large proud papa smile.  “Oh I won’t keep you, but this news might.  Remember Peter Gafflin?  Legendary alternative rock/country artist extraordinaire who really love you last time y’all were in the booth together.”

Kimara couldn’t forget that man from their last session.  She hadn’t been exalted for her talent that highly since Petey Pablo came in that one time and promised her name would be on a Freek A Leek remix.

“Yeah, what about him?” She asks.

Rick could not help his smile to save his life.  “He called me up earlier today, saying he is planning to go on the road soon.”

“Yeah, yeah.  That happens often when you drop a new album.”  Kimara says impatiently.

“Right.  So he was thinking that you would hopefully be available to join him for some shows on his North American leg of the tour.”

Kimara stood there like the Men In Black just wiped her memory.  “Are-are you serious?  When?  How?  What would I do??”

“He wants you to SING for him like you did that day, background vocals and he thought a duet portion would be nice too.  You know the song ‘Boys Aren’t Born on Tuesdays?’”

Kimara clutches her chest.  “Oh my God, that song is so rich.  And he wants ME  to sing it with him?”

“Uh huh!’  Rick slaps her arm in congratulations, but Kimara could barely feel anymore.  

“In front of thousands.  Across America...oh my God!”

Rick and Kimara hug excitedly, so much so that Rick has to wipe his eyes a little.  “So is that a yes?”

Kimara stopped cheering to finally think a little.  “I mean, I don’t know.  If this was any other time I would say yes, but...I have some obligation here.  I’m deep into trying to start a family and settle a little.”

Rick makes a face of pity.  “I understand, I know.  And I hope you do get that.  Just…”

“Just…”   Kimara parrots.

“...it’s Peter Gafflin.”

“It is Peter Gafflin.”  Kimara says disheartened.  She had been waiting for years to get something off the ground with a top tier artist, but the universe had a funny way of timing.

“Did I mention how much pay is?”  Rick muses.

--

Kimara fans herself with a newspaper as she watches the rolls baking in the oven.  She is so thankful to have gotten dessert from the bakery, because she was over it with cooking.  She checks her phone for the time:  ten minutes til 7.  Her notifications show nothing from Erik yet, though she texted him twice today reminding his to not forget them hosting T’Challa and his girl.  Twice, Erik texted that he’s got her, but that was five hours ago, now who knows what the hell he is up to.  It would be perfect to bring up her good news with him in front of T’Challa and his date, while he smiles up at her with a hand inconspicuous and possessively on her behind...

But the light and fluffy feelings for the evening were quickly dwindling.  Before she could send a last threatening text to convince him to bring his ass, the doorbell sounds at the last sentence.  Kimara curses out loud, grabbing her oven mitt to take out the rolls that are a perfect golden brown.  She dabs her brow with a spare dinner napkin before clopping her way to the door.

Opening it with a flourish, Kimara opens her arms in excitement.  

“You made it!”  She says with a cheery song.

T’Challa looks at her fondly, his mouth slowly curling into a smile.  Kimara warms up to seeing her friend at her doorway.

“I was going to say it has been too long, but time moves backward for you.  You look beautiful.”

Kimara places a hand on her hip for emphasis, trying to withhold her joy in his compliment in the worst way.  “Oh please, it hasn’t been that long.  You cleaned up good too.”

Kimara always enjoyed the way T’Challa dresses like royalty without even meaning too, choosing pieces that elongate his lean body, squaring his wide shoulders to create a proud presence.

T’Challa places a hand to his date’s lower back.  “Iman has been looking forward to this night all week.”

A smiling Iman holds out a bottle of Proseco.  “T  has told me so much about you and your husband.  You all seem to be a pretty tight family.”

Kimara takes the chilled bottle and leads them inside.  “Oh yes.  We have all known each other for so long, I can’t imagine not having known them.”  

Placing the bottle on the table, Kimara claps her hands anxiously.  “So I have prepared us a nice little salad and a pork...uh...pasta ”  Kimara’s mind goes blank trying to remember what it’s called, she had only Googled the recipe that day.  Tapping her foot, fidgeting, Kimara gives up.  “Hell, some type of pork and spaghetti with peppers and shit.  It’s got cheese too, it’s good.  LEGGO!”

T’Challa and Iman chuckle as they head to the dining room.  “Well whatever it is it smells great!  I know your man must be fat and happy living with you.”  Iman gushes, pulling out her chair to sit at the table.

Kimara shakes her head humbly as the unwraps the foil on the proseco.  “Lucky for me, he is pretty active at the same time so it sticks in the right places.  If only he could actually BE in the right places when we schedule things that way.  Oh shit, lemme find a cork opener.”  

Kimara rushes into the kitchen slamming drawer after drawer looking for the elusive corkscrew.  She slams the bottle down a little too hard in frustration and hears the vibration of her phone on the counter next to her.

“Do you need assistance, Kimara?”  T’Challa’s steady, gentle voice says behind her.  She turns to see his concerned face looking down at her, hands firmly planted behind him respectfully.  

Kimara waves her hand in frustration.  “Aht aht!  It’s fine, don’t leave Iman alone in there!”

“She is fine.  Are you?”  He asks quietly while opening a cabinet above the sink.  

Kimara opens her phone to look at her notification.  “Been better.  Rather not talk while I’m supposed to be entertaining you guys.”

“But-”

Kimara puts her phone down hard.  “RAGU!  It was a pork ragu!  With basil fettuccine, ugh!  DUH!”  Kimara turns to see T’Challa holding the corkscrew in his hand.  

T’Challa continues, ignoring her topic change.  “You should let me know if he isn’t being good to you.”

Kimara takes the corkscrew in one hand, bottle in the other trying to maintain her blood from boiling.  “No I don’t.  I would discuss that with my husband.”  

“And he is where?”  T’Challa asks calmly as Kimara walks past him and back to the table.

“God, what a help your beau is, we can finally have a much needed sip sip, eh?”  Kimara exclaims a little too happily, sitting at the table as she drills the corkscrew in.

T’Challa opens the glass serving dish to examine dinner.  “This smells very good, I will fix a plate for you, Iman.”

“No!  I should serve you, Mr. King!  Move your hand from that spoon.”  Iman gets up, swinging her hips happily from side to side, digging the serving spoon into the delicious mix of sauce, noodles, and meat.  

T’Challa gives a shy smile.  “I appreciate it greatly, thank you.”  

Kimara jerks the corkscrew out of the bottle too hard, knocking the handle against the table, causing T’Challa and Iman to look at her with shock.

“Pop goes the weasel, right?”  Kimara giggles as she pours a third of the bottle into her glass, half an inch from the brim.  She takes ahold of her glass, taking  a few hearty gulps.

“So!  Tell me how are things with you all, still in the honeymoon phase?”

Iman finishes off her plate, settling in to eat.  “Well,  I wouldn’t say that.  Me and T are still kinda getting to know each other still, so I think honeymoon phase is a little too soon to call,”  she says as she nervously scratches the back of her head as T’Challa just keeps on eating.

Kimara starts to feel warm, keeping mental note that the fucking must’ve halted between them.  “Well there’s no need to rush at all.  Relationships are so much damn work, it must be nice to cuddle up to a stranger every so often.”

Iman offers some wine to T’Challa who declines.  “Have things been going well at the studio?  Recording?”

“Oh yeah, more than recording actually.  Sure, I just wish that I had the gumption to pull the trigger on doing some of my own shit.  I got a lot of praise from artist and even the owner of the studio; I’ve known him a long time.  But when it all comes down to it I just wonder what’s the point.  That’s all gonna change soon though, no worries about me!”

Iman pouts with sympathy.  “What do you mean?!  You are a damn good looking lady and to have talent enough that people brag about, you gotta do something with it while you’re young and able!”

“I know I’m young and able.  Well, I’m trying to start a family while I’m still young and able too.”  Kimara mumbles, slumping in her chair.

“Oh!  You are?  Congratulations!  From what little I remember from the night I met T, he seemed like a handsome guy with a good head on him.  If he hadn’t brought us home, we may not be seeing each other now.”  Iman’s hand disappear under the table to presumably T’Challa’s thigh, who looks over at her with kind eyes.  “And that reminds me of your story.  So T here got you and your husband together.  What are the details on that?”

Kimara is two sips from the bottom of her glass.  “Ohhh, that’s not dinner conversation unfortunately.”

Iman makes eyes at her.  “Oooh, that scandalous huh?  We all adults here, but I understand.  Me and T weren’t very biblical our first night meeting so, hey.”

T’Challa wags a finger.  “It’s not that, don’t be crass.”

Iman tuts at him.  “I’m just being friendly, what’s the issue.”

“It’s a personal story.  It should wait until Erik is here at least.”  T’Challa offers.

Kimara puts her glass down, plate still empty or any dinner.  “I don’t wanna bring that nigga up here anymore tonight, aight?”

Iman freezes mid bite as T’Challa sits up in his chair.  “Kimara, please-”

“Uh uh!  I’m in my house, I say what I want, I won’t be talked down to.  Iman?”

Iman is still frozen.

T’Challa speaks up.  “I’m just saying-”

“I’m talking!  Iman?  My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for months now, fucking like rabbits and I have yet to get pregnant.  It’s gotten so I think he;s getting tired of fucking with me and now he is out ‘working late’.  Now, he loves me because we have been through a lot to get to the point of being a married couple and he has had to prove himself loyal to me after...a lot of bullshit.  But I ain’t got it in me to discuss play the Newlywed Game with you cuz hell if I know what my husband is up to anymore.”

T’Challa gets up from his chair abruptly, scraping the chair across the floor, stomping towards the kitchen.

Kimara starts to laugh out loud.  “Oh shit, I think he’s pissed!  Ohh, let me see what this is about…”

Iman sits up anxiously.  “Do you need help?”

“No, no!  I got him, he’s very reserved with his frustrations, so I can deal.”  Kimara stomps into the kitchen.  “Now what is up with you??”

T’Challa takes a towel off of a rack, folding it twice.  “Did you need to unload on her like that?”

Kimara leans on the counter.  “Sure, woman to woman.  She seems to appreciate it.”

T’Challa opens the oven door, a plume of smoke billows out.

“Fuck!  Oh noooo, my rolls!”  Kimara exclaims, running to a window to open and fan out the smoke.  

T’Challa puts the baking sheet to the sink.  “I was trying to tell you I smell smoke.”  He tossed the towel down making the sheet clang.

Kimara fans her face, coughing.  “Oh, shit.  I just forgot.”

“Mhm.  You forgot your head this evening that’s certain.”

“What do you mean by that, T??”  Kimara asks mockingly.

T’Challa glares at her.  “If things weren’t going good, we could’ve rescheduled.”

“It’s funny you think I plan for my life to fall apart, cuz that is how it works right?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“No, no one means to hurt my feelings or make me feel like shit until it happens.  You want me to be the perfect host.  Erik wants me to be a good wife and mother when I can’t even get a bun in the ov-”  Kimara stops short of the sentence.  T’Challa hangs onto silence waiting for her to finish.

“T’Challa, what if this is all a sign?  I burnt the rolls in the oven...because I can’t keep a bun in the oven?  Like pregnancy?  I can’t bake anything!!”  Kimara wails as she covers her mouth crying.  T’Challa goes over to her but stops short as Iman enters the kitchen.

“Hey, if everything is under control, I might head out.”

T’Challa looks back at Kimara then Iman.  “Well, let me call you a ride.”

“Already did.  Kimara, dinner really was good, I’m sorry to leave so soon.”

Kimara has her back turned, wiping her face before facing her.  “Thank you for coming.  You’re as nice as I heard.”

“I will walk you out then.”  T’Challa offers as they leave Kimara in the kitchen.  Her phone begins to ring, as she picks it up to find Erik’s name glowing on the screen.  All she can do is silence it, she was in no mood to talk, otherwise she might have to make a Lemonade album about it.  

Kimara goes back to her dining room table, sitting down to the bottle of wine.  T’Challa comes back in, closing the front door behind him.

“Eh, eh.  Put that down.  Eat something instead.”

Kimara groans as she swallows one more gulp from the bottle before getting it snatched from her hand.

“I’m not feeling your vibes T’Challa, honest.”  

“Vibes?  Do you hear yourself talking?”  

“Yeah I do.   That’s all I ever hear is my damn self.”

“You are not supposed to be drinking while planning a family, aren’t you?”  T’Challa asks softly, sitting next to her.

Kimara sighs deeply.  “I’ve done everything right.  All I’m supposed to do is carry, I can’t even get there.  God, I would kill for even a miscarriage, just to know that I didn’t completely fuck up my reproductive system!”

“STOP IT!”  T’Challa’s voice booms between them, reverberating off the walls.  Kimara sits upright, looking away from T’Challa’s face.  His energy calms as he leans a little further towards her.

“You do not deserve to beat yourself up like this.  Do you realize how far you’ve come in life from when I first met you to now?  There is no one as smart or witty or brilliant as you that I can also put faith in as a friend.”

Kimara fidgets with her fingers.  “Good thing Iman isn’t here to hear that.”

T’Challa sits back, taking a swallow of wine from the bottle himself.  “I won’t edit my statement, but she is a nice girl.”

“I still like Nakia better.”  Kimara says matter of factly.

T’Challa bristles at the name, looking into the distance.  “Yes, I guess she is my kryptonite, however too flighty.”

They sit in silence for a beat.

“What about that night?  What did it mean?”  Kimara asks.

T’Challa’s brow furrows.  “Which do you…”

“A few weeks ago?  My car?”  Kimara rubs her face roughly.  “Ughh, I hope it’s not the wine talking but I swear there was a moment that felt like...a thing.  Am I wrong?”

T’Challa does something he does not always do:  he begins to stutter.  It’s slow, without the skip, but a stutter nonetheless.

“I...Well...hmm,”  He says before his mouth motions wordlessly.

“...T?”  Kimara asks teasingly.  “It’s ok!”

He looks her in her eyes intensely, like she just cursed him out.  “Huh?”

Kimara shrugs.  “We didn’t do anything so it’s ok.  Don’t sweat.  That’s why I’m glad we are friends cuz I know nothing bad happens when you’re around.  No craziness, drama, you just bring me back down to earth with a good talk.  It was just a moment.  Gotta remember that.”  Kimara pats his knee and gets up.

“Wait, so were you thinking of me in a way that night?”  

Kimara sees a light flash across the curtains of her window.  “Well, look at this.  Daddy’s home.”  Kimara comes back to the table to pick up plates.  “T’Challa go ahead and have a good night.  You don’t wanna be here when I’m throwing dishes into the sink until Erik comes in and has the nerve to ask what the fuck is wrong with me.  When the whole nigga nerve of it all is that he would have the gall to think I’m wrong to begin with!”

T’Challa waves his hands heading for the door.  “I am already gone.”

--

The early morning sun is extra bright as erik drives himself and Kimara to see their regular fertility specialist Dr. Tracy.  

“I’m glad she was able to see us today.”  Erik says.

“Are you?”  Kimara asks while scrolling through her phone.

Erik scratches himself.  “Ion know, I just…”

“What?”

“I mean...if we do this it’s like cool, we finna get a baby off top-”

Kimara tuts at him.  “No!  She said that it still isn’t guaranteed.  We are good candidates but not to expect success right away.”

Erik lets out a groan.  “Right, right.  Can’t no shit come easy for me.”

Kimara looks at his profile as he drives, catching Erik looking out the corner of his eye.  “What you lookin at me like that for?”

Kimara crosses her arms.  “I’m just trying to figure out what to title your sob story in all of this.  ‘I do what I want and when it don’t go like I plan I pout?’  Or ‘Fuck everything and everyone, I’m going through it but don’t ask me what’s wrong?’”

“Damn Mara!  The fuck you gotta go there for?  The minute I try and share something with you, you bite my fucking head off!”

“Watch yourself cursing at me!  I ain’t in the mood for it, and I ain’t letting it fly like that today, ok?  I don’t need this much excitement before an appointment.”

“Then don’t go nuts on me like you some damn comedian, roasting my ass.  I’m here ain’t I?”

“Do you not wanna be?!”  Kimara shrieks.

Erik goes silent, turning on the click of his turn signal.  The tension in the car is sky high and although Erik doesn’t mind a fight, he knew not to act a fool in front of these doctors in this side of town.  

Kimara leads inside to check in with the receptionist.  As they sit in the lobby, Erik is glued to his phone the entire waiting period, fingers texting furiously.

“Why ain’t you holding my hand?”  Kimara asks.  “You always hold it while we wait.”

Erik looks over quickly and leans back offering out his hand.  “My bad.”  While the other continues to work double time on his screen.  

“Who is...Alan?”

Erik jerks his phone back.  “It’s not Alan.”

Kimara drops his hand.  “Than who is it?”

“Work.”  He says curtly, flipping to his Instagram instead.

“Is something wrong with the project you’re working on?  Is Alan the one helping you?”

“Yes and no.”  Erik says.

“Wait.  It is wrong and Alan isn’t helping?”

“It’s not Alan!”  Erik bellows before coughing to cover his outburst.

“Kimara?”  Dr. Tracy says brightly with a smile, waving them back.  Kimara smiles tightly back.

In her office, Dr. Tracy goes over the procedures and preparations for IVF, with all of the medical jargon, followed by some generous simplified explanation.  It all sounded complicated and expensive but Kimara was grateful to hear about everything that could make her miracle possible.

“And Erik, you can be an awesome support by making sure to watch your alcohol intake, exercise, eat healthy, and avoid any environmental pollutants.”

“I was bout to watch that Chernobyl show; is that off the table now?”  Erik asks.

“Erik, you ain’t got time for shit else, quit playing.”  Kimara says with a little bark in her voice.

Erik laughs in a menacing tone.  “Ok.”

Dr. Tracy looks between them nervously.  “...we also provide counseling to couples during the process, as it can be difficult.”

“I wouldn’t mind it, but he wouldn’t be able to make it.”  Kimara says.

“Oh you speak for me now?”

Kimara shrugs.  “If you ain’t there, how else can things go forward?”

Erik sputters in disbelief.  “I won’t be getting like this in front of the damn doctor.  Thanks, doc.  I got the prescription and shit, let’s go.”  Erik keeps talking under his breath as he leaves the office.  Kimara gets up to leave

“Is everything ok between you two?”  Dr. Tracy asks.

Kimara hesitates before saying it’s fine, nothing more than a couples spat.  Erik may have been right about needing to change doctors.  At least a new one wouldn’t know when things were wrong.  This would just look like a normal interaction to fresh eyes.

Back at their house, Erik is reading the instructions for her shots.

“Says this supposed to help in producing eggs for you.  Still gonna take a while though.”

Kimara sits silent watching her shows.

“Remember to mark down when you got your period last.  Supposed to start doing these on your next cycle.”

Silence.

Erik folds the instructions up, standing from the dining room table.  He comes up behind the couch, leaning next to Kimara’s ear.

“Nassau is this weekend, you know?”  SIlence.  “You picked us a real good spot to make our own magic down there.  I think we need it.”

“WE need a lot more than a trip to an island.  Erik, you still ain’t said sorry for a damn thing you said to me today.”

Erik scooches to one side of Kimara to face her.  “What should I apologize for?”

“Embarrassing me?  Not telling me about what’s going on with you and also not asking how things are with me?  Being secretive and mean to me?”  Kimara’s eyes begin to well up.  “You ain’t talked to me without walking off mad in so long, I don’t wanna get used to it Erik!  You didn’t used to do that!”  Erik hooks one leg followed by the other over the back of the couch to sit next to Kimara, holding her hands tight.

“It makes me think about before you left for that damn military out the blue.  You snapped on me back then too.  You tryna go somewhere else again?”

“Hell no!  That life is behind me, I got nothing but you and work to get through now.”

“So I’m a damn task?”  Kimara mopes.

“No!  Look:  I don’t mean to say anything to make you think you boring because you’re not.  You’re the most exciting thing in my life, and I love having you with me.  Every time I’m reminded you’re my wife, I’m thinking how we should be on our damn tenth wedding anniversary instead of third.  But I’m done and thankfully you’re not.”

“Then why are you doing me like this?”

“I-I don’t wanna force shit on you more than you can handle.  I got things happening at my job right now that could make you think the worst, but I promise it’s not.  And you don’t need that pressure right now.”

“Neither do you!”  

“I can handle it.  You focus on your dreams at the studio, and getting ready to host the biggest headed baby your womb will ever know.”

Kimara snorts thinking about this, looking down instinctively.  Erik takes one side of her face in his hand.

“I wanna be more open but I don’t wanna cost you anything too.  So until shit blows over, just know I got this.  Be patient with me, and I promise to be more patient too.”

Kimara pulls Erik to her for a longing kiss, rubbing his face for comfort.  She could feel he cares, but there was still so much gnawing in her mind, she just wasn’t ready to discuss.  But there was one thing.

“One more thing though, before I call it forgiven and get to packing for the trip.”

“You still ain’t packed?”

“I’m asking the questions!  Who is Alan?”

Erk sighs, dipping his head down before looking her in the face to answer.  “Alaina.

“He’s a what?”

“Huh?  No, Alaina.  The name was Alaina not Alan.”

Kimara’s face draws up inquisitively.  “And...she is?”

“My partner for the project I’m working on.  They recruited her from another region and-”

“That’s who you spent the night with instead of dinner with T’Challa and me and his girl?”  Kimara asks.

“I came home!  Don’t make it sound like that, it was a late night.  Ole dude I work for keeps piling shit on me and deadlines-”

Kimara waves her hands in front of him.  “It’s fine.”

“Huh?”

“It’s ok!”  Kimara smiles.  “Seriously, I trust you.  You said works been beating your ass, and I know you wouldn’t be looking all sour if you were getting some ass on the side, so I think I can trust you aren’t cheating.”

Erik stared at her speechless before nodding and agreeing.  

“Plus, we tryna have a baby and I know you wouldn’t mix shit up with her when all that seed is mine, like that would be wasteful.”

Erik growls in his chest, leaning over her, nose to nose.  “Say that again.”

Kimara holds back her smile, rubbing his chest.  “Your seeeed is miiiine.  Don’t waste it.”  Kimara bites his lip at the end of ‘it’, catching him of guard, but not enough to lay her out legs spread quicker than she could blink.

“Wait wait, Erik.  I can’t!”  Kimara says, half giggling.

“Whatchu mean??  You playing with a dog and get afraid when you get the bark?  Quit playing and get them draws off.”  Erik pulls at her bottoms.

“No!  Wait!  I mean it, I’m cramping and shit.  I don’t want nothing near my pussy right now.”

Erik moans out loud in frustration, plopping backwards on the couch, erection pushing at his sweatpants.

Kimara lowkey loved making him wait, period or not.  It’s nice to see he still wants her, and no one else has his attention to fix his rather big problem throbbing in his pants.

“Erik?  You never told me what you think about the tour.”

Erik exhales loudly.  “Good idea, that’s finna kill my hard on real quick.”

“Erik!”  

He sits up, pushing down on himself.  “Mara, I want you to get your hustle goin, I know you been singin since way way way back.”

“Hold up, it ain’t been that long, makin me feel old.”

Erik bops her with his shoulder.  “You know you been my Suga Mama.”

“Two months older Erik.  Dassit!”

Erik looks at the floor, rubbing her knee.  “I just don’t understand why you think it’s best to leave now.  What Imma do without you for two months?”

“Whatever you been doin get home late at night.”  Kimara says flatly.

“The project is almost finished, do I don’t know where that attitude came from.”  

Kimara sits silent, not up for a fight, especially in her hormonal state.

Erik stares at her, testing her.  He knows she wants to say more, she always does.  “I got two more weeks on this, and it’s done.  My workload is gonna be lighter, more boring, and I promise my time will be yours, but now you wanna leave, so.”

“But you understand why right?  It doesn’t sound like you do.  I don’t wanna leave you alone or stop trying, but...this is my dream!”

“Having a family is too right?  That’s why all our time and money been revolving around everything related to that for almost a whole damn year.  It’s fucking flaky.”  Erik shoots back.

“Erik, you got to do what you wanted, right?  This ain’t new with you!  When you want something, you go for it, fuck anybody that gives a shit, it’s yours.  I’m tired of being in the shadow of your shit, cleaning things up so you can have your peace.  This is mine.”

“The fuck is you talkin about??  Is your PMS going retrograde or some shit?”  Erik speaks over her in an agitated tone.  Nothing Kimara said made sense anymore to him.

Kimara gets up, waving him off.  “Eat my ass Erik,  I said what I fucking had to say and I mean that shit.”

Masterlist

Ragtag

@chaneajoyyy @sarcastic-sunshines @muse-of-mbaku@dameshaemonique  @fonville-designs@destinio1@bakarisange l@wakanda-inspired @klaine15689 @savageiz @nickidub718 @yoyolovesbucky @alexundefined @forbeautyandlife​ @bakarisangel

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

A Place To Call Home, Ch 3.

Fandom: Rosewell, New Mexico.

Summary: A canon divergent take on Roswell, New Mexico, and the relationships between Isobel, Noah, and Rosa; later parts will shift the focus to Michael and Alex, as well as Michael and Noah. What is it like to share a body with another alien? Can broken trust be mended? Do the ends really justify the means?

Rating: M.

Tags: Canon divergence, minor character death, not really character death, body sharing, polyamory, hurt/comfort, addiction problems, sickfic, revenge, fix it, friends to enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies to lovers, Noah is complicated, cw: dubious age stuff for a little bit considering Nasedo/Noah is who-the-hell-knows how old.

Word Count: 2413

Rosa Ortecho was a hurricane.

She lived every moment as her last.  Her smile was pure light, and she was every single inch the sort of  person Nasedo could see Isobel falling head over heels for, especially  since Rosa had dumped her junkie boyfriend and gone clean in March. Of  course Nasedo had been doubtful at first. Rosa was human. Still. Rosa  loved astrology and music, dancing and poetry. She was an artist, but  the kind of artist with a fire in their soul. Rosa loved hard, lived  hard, hated hard. Everything about her was power, fast and intense and  exhilarating. It was impossible not to adore her.

Max was in love  with Rosa's sister, Liz, so of course he always went to the Crashdown  Cafe where Liz and Rosa both worked. And because Max went, Isobel went,  too. Rosa, with her wide, dark eyes and deep laugh, had grown fond of  Isobel. That much was clear. She'd sneak Isobel free fries. They'd share  a milkshake that had been made a little wrong. They would look up funny  videos on Isobel's phone, and play music on the cafe's jukebox while  Max and Liz were distracted elsewhere. It was good to see Isobel laugh,  after everything she had been through. She deserved to be happy, and it  made sense that Rosa's kind-hearted, wild spirit would bring Isobel that  happiness.

What Nasedo hadn't anticipated was how much he would  find himself feeling affection towards the human, too. Nasedo pretended  that the emotions belonged to Isobel, and Isobel alone. It was easier  that way. Besides, Isobel was under the terrible stress known as 'senior  year'; between Isobel trying to deal with her own internalized  homophobia and school, it was all Nasedo could do to keep her held  together. He couldn't take the time to look too closely at his own  feelings or bother Isobel with them. Isobel's health was all that  mattered.

At least, that was until a Friday night as the Crashdown.

Isobel never admitted that she went there to see Rosa. She didn't admit it that night, either. "I just need to relax," she complained. "There's only half the year left, and I've been studying for like, three days straight."

Nasedo  withdrew, as he always did when Isobel wanted time to herself. The  nerve-searing pain was easier to deal with, when he knew that he would  be escaping it again soon enough. Sooner than he expected, in fact. It  hadn't been very long when he was snapped back to Isobel, waking up in a  daze; the transition was usually slower, smoother. What had happened  that has caused Isobel to panic so much?

"Isobel? Are you okay?"

Rosa. Nasedo blinked, scrambling to recover. "Sorry, Rosa. I'm a total space case today."

"It's  okay." Rosa frowned. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,  shifting her gaze away. "Uhm, if you don't want to go to the movies,  it's okay. I just thought that maybe... Maybe we'd have fun."

What  would Isobel want? He knew Isobel was falling for Rosa. He also was  certain Isobel would never go on her own. But, well, Nasedo wanted to  go. What harm would come from a movie? "Sure," he replied with as  charming of a smile as he could muster. Rosa's eyes fluttered. "I'd love  to go. Text me with the info?"

Rosa snatched Isobel's phone and  entered her contact information, the frown on her face replaced by a  sunny grin. "Cool. It's a date."

Their eyes met, and Rosa's grin  turned shy. Nasedo smiled back, his heart racing as he left the cafe and  headed home. It was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea. And yet, he  couldn't stop himself from feeling a flicker of joy. That was, until he  got home and Isobel returned, pacing in their room as she took the body  from him.

"Why did you do that?" she groaned. "I can't believe you."

"I thought you'd be pleased."

"I kind of am, yeah. I don't know. Things are complicated."

"She likes you and you like her. What's complicated about that?"

Isobel stopped, taking a deep breath and curling her arms around herself. "Besides Roswell being a fishbowl full of jerks? I... I like you, too."

"I would hope so. We share a body."

"Nasedo."

He  paused at the strain in her voice. The meaning of her words became  clear, and he felt almost queasy. No, no, he wasn't good enough for her.  He'd been in stasis for almost a hundred years total, by human years,  and was practically a damn rotting corpse on top of it. "Isobel..."

"I love you. You don't have to say it to me, but I love you."

The  word made him wince. She was so young, and full of so much hope and  promise. He couldn't do that to her. He would never be able to hold her,  to take care of her the way a real, living, whole person could. Like  Rosa could. "I will always protect you," he answered, his voice gentle. "I will always be here for you."

Isobel  said nothing. Thankfully, a text came through right then, the metallic  chime saving them. He looked at it through her eyes, intrigued. Pirate Radio, 9pm showing tomorrow. Sound good?

"It's your choice, Isobel."

Isobel fiddled with the phone. "You like her, too. Don't you?"

Nasedo  didn't answer. He didn't know how, especially after Isobel's  confession. He cared for them both, in their own unique ways. How to  explain that? But in the end, he didn't really have to; Isobel was  connected to his mind and thoughts, as he was connected to hers, and he  felt the moment she accepted the strange situation they were in. A tiny,  wry smile tugged at her lips as she opened the text.

Sounds fun. I'll meet you there.

A few minutes later, another chime. Great! Goodnight! <3

Nasedo  stayed quiet as Isobel went about her bedtime routine. He knew it by  heart. He knew her favorite products, the order she used them in, and  the exact number of uses left in each bottle before she would need new  ones. He knew how hard she was working to accept the little mole by her  nose, because it was part of her and she refused to take a knife to her  body to please silly beauty standards. He knew the story behind every  scar on her body, like the curved burn mark by her pinky finger she got  when she was seven, newly adopted and ignorant of what an oven was and  the fact that heat would hurt her. Her homework, in their bedroom, would  be stacked just so and color coded and triple checked for any errors.  The outfit she planned to wear the next day would be folded neatly over  the back of the desk chair. Their bedroom window would be open exactly  two inches, to let in the cool nighttime air.

Favorite things,  dislikes, habits. The way she'd smooth her hair when she was anxious.  Each and every aspect of Isobel's life, he had memorized. Each, he found  more and more endearing as the days passed. Was that... love? Was that  what love was, in the end? It wasn't the same excited, nervous feeling  Isobel experienced when she thought about seeing Rosa. It wasn't the  passionate fireworks that were in all of the human movies, books, and  songs. No. It was quieter, calmer. They shared a connection that they  would never share with anyone else, and that was... special. Precious.

Thankfully,  Isobel didn't comment on his thoughts. She tuned them out, giving him  privacy to mull in peace. Not that it did much good. They fell into a  restless sleep, and spent the next day on edge. Isobel was refined,  intelligent, elegant, proud, orderly. Nasedo was supposed to be the  dauntless one. Regardless, even he found himself starting to get nervous  as 9pm drew closer. He still had no idea what he was doing, but at  least he and Isobel were in the same boat.

"If our parents find out..." she muttered as she adjusted her hair in the mirror. If she kept messing about, they'd be late. "God. Are we really doing this?"

Nasedo  shook his head and gently took control of the body, only long enough to  steer her out of the bathroom and towards the door. "They won't find out. People go to movies all the time."

Luckily,  Max had went with their parents to some country club thing. Disgusting.  Nasedo checked their outfit one last time before heading out; basic  black blouse, dark wash jeans, black boots. Perfect. They strutted down  to the movie theater, flashing a bright smile as they saw Rosa waiting  by the door. Rosa blushed as Isobel held the door for her; they paid for  the tickets, but went double dutch on the snacks. Nasedo watched from  his corner of the mind, fascinated. In the four years they had shared  bodies, Nasedo had never seen Isobel so... open. Carefree.

It was  when the movie let out that Isobel's bravado faded. They were walking  to the park, the streetlamps lighting up the night with a soft glow. "I  want to show you one of my favorite places," Rosa said, giving them a  mysterious look as she headed into the park. "C'mon."

Curious,  Nasedo followed, shifting to the front as Isobel hesitated. Maybe Isobel  cared about curfews and closing times, but he didn't; most human laws  were based in fear, anyways, not in common sense. Rosa led them to the  center of the park, to a gazebo. It was pretty, with lattice work along  the sides and shining white against the darkness. Rosa twirled in the  center.

"This is your favorite spot?" Nasedo asked. "Why?"

Rosa  leaned against one of the posts and shrugged. "I have a lot of favorite  places. Spots where it's quiet late at night. Places I can go to think.  I can just exist here for a while, you know?"

"I don't know. I hate being alone."

"I'm guessing you've never had an overbearing dad."

Nasedo thought back to the Evanses, and to his own family. "Not especially. My family is more of the seen-not-heard type."

"Maybe we should trade."

"You  wouldn't be any happier. They treat you like a disgrace if you use the  wrong fork at dinner, or can't name three pro golfers."

"Wow, I'd  fit right in." Rosa wrinkled her nose. They both laughed; Rosa sighed  after, digging around in her purse and pulling out a few pens. "My dad  means well, but sometimes it makes it hard to move on when he keeps  treating me like I'm broken."

Nasedo watched as Rosa took the pens to the gazebo post, a blank canvas for her bleeding soul. "What are you doing?"

"Mayhem, mischief, delinquent behavior. It's how I get my highs now."

"Can I try?"

Rosa arched an eyebrow. "You? Isobel Evans?"

"Maybe I'm sick of being the person everyone thinks I am."

"Yeah."  Rosa frowned, offering her pens. Nasedo picked the black one, turning  his eyes to his side of the post as Rosa spoke. Her voice was  increasingly bitter, upset, as she colored in her drawing. A rose,  covered in sharp thorns. "It's, like, a Roswell rite of passage. One  day, everybody in this town gets together and they, like, decide who you  are, and that's who you get to be. Forever. End of story. Doesn't  matter if you change or improve or figure out that you're not even who  you thought you were to begin with."

Nasedo began to sketch the  symbol of his homeworld. Three circles, connected in the middle and  forming a triangle. "And who are you?"

"I don't think I know that yet. Do you understand who you are?"

"Some. Less than I'd desire."

Pausing, Rosa leaned to glance over Nasedo's shoulder. "What is that?"

"Just something I've drawn since I was a kid."

Goosebumps  formed over Nasedo's arms as Rosa's breath moved along his neck. Isobel  sensed the flicker of distress from him, and moved to take control  again. In the nick of time, too. A cop car drove by, slow, forcing them  to scamper out of the park before they were caught. It was, Isobel would  later admit, a thrill. Enough of a thrill that she finally seemed to  get over her shyness, happily chatting about the movie as they walked  towards Rosa's home. Everything was fine until they got one street away.

"You  don't have to come with me the rest of the way," Rosa said as she  stopped underneath some trees, standing safe in the shadows. "I mean.  Aren't you afraid that somebody's gonna see us?"

"If I'm being  honest? Yeah, but that has nothing to do with you. My parents would  freak out if they knew I went out on a date with a girl."

"Was this a date?"

Isobel  stared at Rosa. Rosa didn't seem angry, or grossed out or anything.  More... tense, inquisitive. And, maybe, a little hopeful. That tiny  tinge of hope what what bolstered Isobel's courage. "Do you want it to  have been?"

"I think so. It's just... I've never done this  before. With a girl, I mean. And it's the first time I've liked someone  since I've been clean. I'm not sure I know what I'm doing."

"Would it make you feel any better if I said this was my first time, too?"

Rosa smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, it helps."

They  walked the rest of the way to the cafe, each lost in thought; Nasedo  kept his senses open, watching for trouble. The street was empty. They  were safe. When they got to the door, Rosa turned and wrapped Isobel in a  hug. Isobel froze for a split second, then hugged her back. "Goodnight,  Rosa."

"Goodnight, Isobel."

Slipping into the cafe, Rosa  locked the door behind her and headed in. She paused, turning and  glancing at Isobel over her shoulder. She smiled again, and gave them a  wave; Isobel and Nasedo both felt their shared heart beat faster. Then  she was gone, vanishing into the diner and heading to the apartment  above it.

For a moment, Isobel didn't move, her hand pressing  against her chest as she sucked in a long, slow breath. Rosa's parting  smile was stuck in her head. Despite herself, she couldn't help but  smile, too. "We're in trouble, aren't we?"

"Yes," Nasedo replied, desire and dread mixing together in his chest. "We are."

[boyswanna-be-her]

I have a crush on you but also LEAK THE SKIN CARE ROUTINE

I really hope you were serious, because this is something I’ve thought a lot about and I am absolutely going to use this ask as an excuse to go into a skin care deep dive.

Here’s a big-ol high-res picture of my mug for you to inspect.

I pay less than $15 for products that must last at least 3-4 months because I just… don’t have more money than that to throw at this hobby. I’ll link to everything I use and show you the price under the cut.

I only use four of these things below every day–but when I have time, I use as many of them as my skin calls for. I just wanted to show you the whole of my skincare arsenal so as not to be coy about it taking up space and time in my life and routine. It does, and I do work on it.

I’m 33, white with combination skin, lots of prior scarring from picking, lots of sun exposure (Florida!), and several minor autoimmune issues that impact my skin when my health is poor or stress is high. I am prone to whiteheads and inflamed pimples the week of my period. 

You cannot buy, wash, treat, or hide your way to “perfect” skin. Airbrushed, poreless, whitewashed, glowing, moist, unwrinkled skin is a lie sold to us by makeup and skincare companies. There is no perfect skin–there is only skin. 

But if you personally are unhappy with some aspect of your skin, you can develop habits that make you more comfortable with/proud of/happy with your skin, and that’s what I want to focus on here.

Though good health =/= clear and smooth skin in all cases, I am lucky to report that my skin looks clearer, smoother, and younger now that I’m not just generally near death all the time. The story would be very different if I struggled with, say, lifelong acne, or if I had a chronic health problem that I was not able to manage. 

Skincare is a luxury of time, money, physical storage space, and mental space.

“Good” skin is a myth. Everyone’s skin is good skin. I started doing all of this stuff to my skin because I was dissatisfied with how much it HURT all of the time, and how flaky it was. Acne, scars, “discoloration,” different coloration, birthmarks, big pores, “craters,” uneven textures, dark hairs, thick hairs, skin tags, milia, blackheads, wrinkles, keratosis pilaris, freckles, and moles are all NORMAL skin types/features and don’t need to be “solved” if the possessor is unbothered by them. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO LOOK HOWEVER YOU WANT. 

I do this stuff because I like it, it helps my mental health to take care of myself with a routine, and it improves my physical quality of life. It helps me with some insecurities, but if that was the only thing it did for me, I don’t think I’d mess with it this much. When I’m not healthy, my skin is prone to deep cracking and flaking. I have always been self-conscious about redness in my T-zone and yellowness around my eyes (dear god, my poor, poor liver).

My skin has objectively cleared and smoothed and plumped up a lot because I smoke less, drink less, stay in mostly humid environments (because, again, Florida!), and have been managing my stress and autoimmune issues. These are all changes made in the last six months. 

On top of those changes, on an average day when I’m actually taking care of myself, I use the following four steps in the order listed, once a day in the morning. I’m realistic that I’ll only do this once a day in the morning and anything more than that is just a boring time suck for me as a person.

1. COSRX Low pH Good Morning Gel Cleanser - 5 oz for $10.70 - one tube lasts me about 6 months. I use this in the morning and just thoroughly wash my face. It’s very mild and has a fresh citrus scent that doesn’t linger.

2. Kikumasamune Skincare Lotion - 17 oz $12.10 - one bottle lasts me 8-10 months. This is a fermented, watery product unlike anything I’d used before. It smells faintly like sake, bananas, and bubblegum (seriously). I decant it out of the big pump bottle into a little travel bottle. I shake a little in my hand and rub it gently over my whole face and eye area. Probably not supposed to do that, but I’m a rebel. It leaves my skin a little tacky.

3. Hada Labo Rohto Hadalabo Gokujun Hyaluronic Lotion Moist - 5.7 oz for $12.99 bottle, then 6.4 oz for $10.90 refill packages - 5 oz lasts me 3-4 months. I’ve honestly forgotten what this even does but it’s a nice, thick liquid, colorless and scentless, and I put it all over my face. Leaves my skin a little less tacky but still not slick/neutral.

4. Ladykin Fresh Strawberry Icing Gel Bar - 6.7 oz for $7.99 - one bottle lasts me about 5-6 months. Someone literally bought this for me as a gag gift because they knew I liked skincare and the bottle is… weirdly obscene. But it turns out that it makes a great moisturizer for me and it’s cheap as hell and smells like fresh strawberries so what’s the down side? 

When I have time or when my skin really needs it, I also use the following products:

SHEETMASKS - Stop buying overpriced sheetmasks one at a time!!!! Leave that aisle at Target alone!!! I know they’re at the dollar store too–leave them alone!!! Those are cool if you’re treating yourself for special occasions, but I try to think of sheet masks as a normal part of my week. That means I’m not going to shell out $3-4 PER MASK if I’m using one or two every week! 

The thing with sheetmasks is, in my totally nonscientific opinion, it doesn’t really matter what kind you use. The value is in plopping a bunch of moisture on your face along with cloth that simply forces that product into your skin. It’s the skin force-feeding concept that works more than the product itself. I think. I have no proof. I have made really moronic assumptions before.

That said, you’ll find ones that you prefer over others. Snail mucin ones don’t absorb nicely for me. Exotic animal-sourced ingredients (bee pollen, royal jelly, donkey milk, goat milk, snake venom, bee venom….) sometimes irritate my skin. Other people LOVE them. 

I get sheetmasks in packages online, at TJ Maxx, and at Marshalls. I try to pay under 75 cents per mask, but lean more towards the 50 cent mark. TJ Maxx and Marshalls are great places to try out new masks–just look at the prices and the mask count and do a little mental math to make sure you’re not getting gouged.

A good place to start if you want to try sheetmasking is with the Dermal brand of sheetmasks (16 masks for $11 (68c/per), 24 masks for $14 (58c/per), 39 masks for $21 (54c/per). They’re basic and generally non-irritating with no scent and a thin formula that feels nice and leaves skin smooth and untacky. This is what I generally keep on hand. 

I have a weird sense-memory thing with ginseng, so I also look out for Esfolio Pure Skin Red Ginseng Essence Mask Sheets. I don’t recommend buying from Amazon, as I am able to find these 10-pack boxes cheaper in person.

If I’m going to use a sheetmask, I put it on after I brush my teeth, wash my face, and put in contact lenses (doing them with glasses isn’t impossible–just messier). Then I make tea and just… do stuff with the dumb sheet mask on until it’s pretty dry (20-30 minutes). Then I take it off and rub the leftover mask on my arms and legs and chest like a weirdo, because it’s still full of product, and then I squeeze the leftover product out of the package and apply it to my face. Because I have the luxury of time but not money, I do NOT waste product.

AQUAPHOR - ~$14 for 14 oz - one tub lasts me through 18 months of travel, winters, and tattoos. Apparently everyone who lives somewhere cold already knows that you need to smother your face in petrolatum when it starts acting up or the weather is cold and dry, but this was shocking news to someone like me who was raised in Southern mall culture skincare routines. When my skin is cracked and bad, Aquaphor legit helps more than my prescription steroid creams. I put as much of it on my face as I can tolerate (it doesn’t smell like anything, but it does make you damned greasy) and then go to bed. Waking up with post-Aquaphor skin is like a miracle sometimes.

MISSHA M Perfect Cover BB Cream SPF 42 - $7.20 for 0.2 oz -  This is a new purchase for me, as my favorite sheer, tinted one-tone-fits-all BB cream has been discontinued. This only comes in six colors, and most of those look like they flatter white and yellow skin–so this option won’t be perfect for everyone. I’m still in search of the perfect replacement BB, but this one works for now. In the picture at the top of this post, I’ve just done my normal 4-step thing and applied about a pump and a half of this BB cream all over my face.

***If you have actively flakey skin, I don’t recommend the MISSHA product as it does emphasize flakes and dry patches. Try COVERGIRL Smoothers Lightweight BB Cream (1.35 oz for $6.19) It won’t discolor and emphasize your flakes, if you get dried out during the day.*** 

I fell into the Korean beauty rabbit hole several years ago with @shrimoishere​ –who has been more consistent about these things and as a result has AMAZING SKIN. If you want to learn more about why this stuff works, and how it could work for your specific skin type, I highly recommend poking around r/AsianBeauty. I spent a ton of time researching products and about two years trying different things to figure out what would work for me. This has been a passive, slow journey, so I don’t think anyone who can afford it and would like to pursue it should feel intimidated by the perceived time suck. It’s just something cool to do in the background.

[decaffeinatedcatastrope]

EDIT:  jfc i forgot the readmore i’m sorry for the massive post on your dash xD So this is a snippet/draft from the big fic-in-progress, but it’s holiday appropriate and really cute.  

warnings: mentioned character death (he got better) smoking, mentions of drinking, cursing, and naughty santa innuendo between two emotionally constipated magical skeletons who can’t decide if they wanna date each other or punch each other.  except one knows he can’t be punched or he’ll die and he uses it to pester the other skeleton to no end.

-ahem-

Red and Sans are invited to Tori’s for a small gyftmas/christmas party.  It’s technically Red’s first christmas.  (Asgore is not invited for reasons, Red finds out later)  It’s...a party.  Red is a bit uncomfortable being included in the festivities, and feels a little out of place.

----- Just as Red was considering the eggnog as an escape from his state of constant, unending anxiety that someone was going to turn around and stab him, the whole party went quiet for a moment.  Everyone turned their attention to the front door, and the group of children started making an ungodly noise.   “the fuck??”  Red muttered, willing himself to get closer to the group so he could see what was going on.  Wait. That was Sans.  That was very clearly Sans, dressed up in a red, velvety santa suit and a shitty fake beard.  He hadn’t even bothered to take off his ratty slippers.  Holy shit.  Red fumbles with his soda as he tries to clap one of his hands over his mouth before he bursts out laughing.  Holy shit.  Holy shit.   Suddenly everything was worth it.  The anxiety, the stress, being around people who cared about him too much for whatever reason;  this made it all worth it.  This made his whole fucking year, seeing Sans dress up in such a stupid-- Then Papyrus screamed “SANTA!!  YOU MADE IT TO THE SURFACE!!” and practically tackled Sans.  The two skelebros laughed, and Sans patted Papyrus on the back.  They were happy. Red felt...something kinda warm and fuzzy curl up in his soul.  He gave Sans a genuinely affectionate smile, and he felt the tiniest bit proud of him for doing something like this for his brother.  Even though he’s damn sure Papyrus knows exactly what’s going on, and is just playing along because it makes them both happy. Red decided to keep his mouth shut, and tried to will the warm fuzzy feelings to chill for a bit while Sans started handing out presents to various party goers.  Papyrus and Frisk were the first, then he moved onto a couple of the Snowdin kids, Undyne and Alphys, and then Toriel. By the time he got around to Red, Red’s amusement had resurfaced, and he was trying his best to behave. He failed.  As Sans started digging around in his bag for Red’s present, Red gave him a mock-offended look as he scoffed.  “wait, no way.  after all the shi--”  Toriel gave him the Mom look.  “--stuff i’ve done this year, i’m not on the naughty list?” Sans looked a bit caught off guard, but recovered quickly with a shrug.  “eh, santa is forgiving, especially after what you’ve been through--” “damn, i’m guess ‘m gonna haveta try harder next year.”  Red gave him a wicked grin. Sans’ smile soured a little, and he shrugged.  “...well in that case, you get nothing.”  Off he went to the next person. “wh-”  That wipes the smile off Red’s face.  “wait, no, i--” “nope, too late, you’ve been bad.”  Sans stated, ignoring him. “hey!  wh...”  Red frowned at him, crossing his arms to keep himself from flipping the shorter skeleton off.  Sans almost wanted to go back and poke fun at him for actually pouting, but kept his act going. --- Later on, Sans was finally done being Santa.  After listening to Papyrus’ long explanation about how he’d missed out on meeting the jolly man in the red suit yet again this year, he just wanted to sit back and enjoy some time to himself.  Which meant finding Red.   He looked around the house, but it seemed like Red had vanished.  He had a good idea where his double probably was, though.  He asked Tori to make two cups of hot coco, then headed for the back door where the porch swing was.  For some reason, Red always ended up back here. Sure enough, Red was on the porch, although the swing was abandoned in favor of the steps.  And he was smoking again.  Sans was pretty sure it was still the same box of cigarettes Red had from the wedding. Sans didn’t try to be quiet when he opened the back door, so Red wouldn’t be too startled.  He did look back to see who was coming, but the relief on his face when he realized it was Sans was tangible.   “hey.”  Sans called, approaching quietly.   “...hey.”  Red replied, taking a drag of his cigarette.  He paused when Sans offered him a mug of coco.   Looking between his cig and the coco, Red eventually flicked his cig into the snow and took the offered mug with a warm smile.  “...thanks.” “no problem.”  Sans replied, sitting next to him on the steps.  “too much?” “...yeah.”  Red muttered, taking a sip of his coco.  He brightened.  “this is good.” “i can’t take credit, Tori made them.” “still good.  and ya still brought it to me.”   Sans hummed slightly, before nudging Red.   Red fumbled in an attempt not to spill his coco, and chuckled.  “what?” He thought he could see the faintest flicker of nervousness as Sans’ smile tightened a little.  “...you uh.  do you still want that present?” “thought i’d been too bad for presents.”  Red teased, nudging Sans back.   Sans took a moment to stare into his coco, before he set it aside and fished a thin, wrapped package out of his inventory, and held it out for Red to take.  “you deserve something, especially after i caught you pouting like a spoiled child after i told you you wouldn’t get one.” Red threw him an only slightly irritated glare and snatched the gift from him.  He was expecting something stupid, like Papyrus’ gift; a cookbook, except every recipe had ketchup in it. He wasn’t disappointed.  His gift was also a book, but it was a...coloring book?  The word “FUCK” was emblazoned on the front of it in fancy text, and framed with all kinds of artsy shit.   “the fuck is this?” Sans burst out laughing, and Red had to hold himself back from chucking the stupid thing at him.  Sans was doing that thing again, that dumb honest laugh of his turning his soul to mush with good feels. Once Sans managed to get a hold of himself, he held out a cheap pack of markers.  “it’s a coloring book.” “...Sans, it says FUCK on it.” “yeah, i saw it and thought of you.  open it.” “gee thanks, you ass.”  Red scoffed, flipping through a page or two.  He was assaulted with more curse words in fancy, flowery script.  Then, a horrible idea popped into his head.  “looks like a perfect activity to do with the kid next time i watch ‘em.” Sans’ amusement shifted to horror.  “oh god no - Tori would kill me--”  His arm snapped forward faster than Red expected in an attempt to snatch back the gift, but Red managed to hold it just out of the smaller skeleton’s range.   Red laughed as Sans tried to climb over him after the book, totally ready to chuck it across the porch if he had to.  Sans paused and gave him a strange look, a twinkle of something in his eye lights before he started trying after the book again with renewed vigor. Red kept laughing and fending him off until he felt something softly brush his skull.  A pastel shred of paper fluttered into view, and Red followed it with his eye lights until it landed on his lap.  The book was forgotten momentarily, and he didn’t even react when Sans snatched it from him. Then Sans noticed the slip of paper Red was oh so carefully holding in his hand.  A ticket, for the supernova event at Mt. Ebott observatory next year.  The same ones Red had died trying to get, weeks prior. Red said nothing, instead his gaze shifted and the two of them locked eye lights.  Sans was starting to get a little nervous.   “...you...i uh.  heard there was this big thing going on at the observatory next year, thought it’d be neat?  so i got two tickets, and uh, maybe you...could go with me?”  Sans grinned at him, but Red just continued to stare.  “i mean, if you wanted to.  i thought maybe...space was your thing too.  like mine?  i, uh...” Sans was beginning to worry that the aftermath of that whole situation might be a painful memory for Red, that it was stupid to dredge that pain back up during a time they were supposed to be happy, that-- Sans tensed when he felt Red loop one of his arms around the back of his neck, and leaned forward to click his teeth against Sans’ own, his soul welling with warm and fuzzy feelings.  He could pull away if he wanted, Red wasn’t holding onto him tightly.  But...friends don’t kiss, Sans. Sans leaned into the kiss, his arms slipping around Red’s waist of their own volition.  It was gentle, not heated or desperate.  Warm, calm, comfortable.  The two of them stayed like that for a good while, until Red pulled away first. They stared into each other’s eye lights until Red looked down at the ticket clutched in his free hand.  “...i uh.  i’d like that.  the space thing.  with you.”  Red’s voice sounded oddly tight, and it felt like his soul was getting ready to flutter right out through his ribs.   Sans wasn’t much better off.  He quickly retracted his arms to fiddle slightly with the fluff on the hem of his costume.  “good!  that’s...good.  ‘cause then i’d have an extra ticket.”  He cleared his non-existent throat and gave Red a grin.  “so uh.  you okay?” “...yeah?”  Red asked, quirking a browbone at Sans.  “why?” “no reason.”  Sans replied quickly. When it was clear Sans wasn’t gonna give him a real answer, Red scoffed and fished out his wallet.  He tucked the ticket inside, so it didn’t get...misplaced.  “it’s so hard to take you seriously in that stupid costume.”  He mused. That broke Sans out of his nervousness.  “oh, yeah i saw you trying so hard not to make fun of me.  good for you on behaving.”  Sans gave him a pat on the back. “don’t patronize me.”  Red snapped, before his expression shifted into something...warm.  Happy.  “i just...i didn’t wanna spoil it for Papyrus.  he was so fucking excited to see you show up in that stupid - sorry, to see Sansta show up tonight.” Sans shrugged.  “eh, he knows it’s me.  it’s just a thing we do.” “i figured, but he still enjoyed it.  it’s just...nice to see, ya know?  you two, doin’ nice shit for each other.  you’re a good brother, Sans.” Sans wanted to ask if Red had ever done something like that for his brother, but...something told him that he should probably keep his mouth shut about it.  “uh, thanks.” The two of them sat in awkward silence for a while after that.   “...so if you hadn’t decide to behave, what would you have said?”  Sans asked curiously.  It felt like poking a hornets nest, but he was genuinely curious, and the warmth in his soul from that kiss was stirring up other thoughts. Red snorted, before dissolving into downright laughter again, and he leaned on Sans for support.  Sans’ soul flipped in his chest at the sound. “haha, i can’t, i can’t say it.  i don’t wanna get kicked outta the house over somethin’ that stupid.” Sans casually glanced around the porch.  “we’re kind of already out of the house.” That made Red pause.  “...yeah, i guess we are, huh?” “so uh.”  Sans tugged a stray piece of fuzz off his sleeve. “why do you wanna hear what i’da said so bad?” “i need a laugh.  and a reason to put you on the naughty list.” Sans felt a twinge of regret the moment the words had left his mouth.   “oh really?  you need a reason?”  Red gave him a wicked grin, his gold tooth glinting in the dim flicker of the christmas lights around them.   “well, uh, i have plenty of reasons, but i just--”  He went silent with shock as Red maneuvered himself into Sans’ lap, the larger skeleton straddling his legs.  “uhhhh--” “oh, i’ll give you a reason.”  Red gave him a heated look.  “...how about i jingle yer bells, Sansta, and then we...fffuck i can’t--”  Red suddenly burst into laughter again.  “oh my god, that’s fucking terrible, even fer me.  ‘m sorry shortstack.” Sans was silent, frozen as his eye lights bore into Red’s own.  Red’s grin fell slightly, and his laughing ceased.  “...hey, i warned you it’d be stupid.”  His face lit up faintly red, and he moved to climb off of Sans when he felt Sans’ phalanges dig into the crests of his hips, holding him in place. “uhhhh.”  Red muttered. “uhh.”  Sans replied, looking between them.  He chuckled sheepishly.  “...i snow you wanna be on the n-ice list, but wow.  flirting with Sansta?  that’s definitely ultra-naughty list material.  i might have to stuff your stocking with something better than coal.” “holy shit." Red wheezed and started laughing uncontrollably again.  “oh my god - how - how long did you stay up last night thinking of naughty christmas puns?  holy shit, Sans!” Sans laughed too.   What was he even doing?  Had Tori put something in his coco?  “i just wanted to see if we were on the same page.”  He pointed up at the lights twinkling along the railing.  “while your pun was bit lacking, i’m de-lighted to see that you at least tried.” “we both know puns are shit and you prefer knock-knock jokes, you peppermint flavored gremlin.” “wow i take it back, you didn’t even try there.  back on the normal naughty list.” Red scoffed in mock offense. “didn’t even try??  well shit, lemme lick yer candy cane and find out what flavor it is then~” Sans’ face practically went navy at that, and he uttered a soft “fuck.”   Red snorted, pleased with that reaction.  “so, do i win now?” “y-yes.”  Sans managed to reply, hiding his face against Red’s stupid christmas sweater. “you gonna gimme a present?”  Red whispered against Sans’ skull, digging his sharp phalanges into the cheap, velvety red suit. “oh god.  uh.  not that.”  Sans shivered slightly, trying so hard not to do anything naughty on Toriel’s back porch.  But his mind was swimming with terrible puns.   “what, afraid i’ll bite?” “yes.  very yes.”  Sans was very aware of what those teeth could do.  And he wanted them no where near his...oh god. “wow, you trust me so much.”  Red deadpanned, before just...hugging Sans.  They were still in that slighly awkward position, with Red in Sans’ lap, but Red was comfortable, dang it.  He gave Sans a sheepish grin.  “hey, relax.  ‘m just playing.” “no you’re not, you’re corrupting me.”  Sans whined. “huh?” “i can’t - i can’t stop thinking of dirty puns.  oh god.  what have you unleashed.” Red laughed.  “don’t blame me fer that!  you were probably doin’ that long before i came around.” “no, i--” “hey.”  Red started.  “knock knock.” “...uh.  who’s there?” “coal.” “coal who?” “coal me if you hear santa commin’.”   Sans snorted, and Red felt some of the tension leave him.  Red smiled.  “why does santa always go down the chimney?” “i dunno, why?” “because it soots him.” Sans snorted again, before laughing. Feeling brave, Red continued.  “knock knock.” “who’s there?”   “...tanks.” “tanks who?” “tanks for givin’ me a good christmas, Sans.” “...o-oh.  you’re welcome Red.  you deserve it.”  Sans looked away with a soft smile, his face dusted with cyan.   Red shrugged.  “lies, but i’ll take it.  hey, why does Santa always land on your roof?”

“why?” Red leaned forward and whispered “because he likes it on top.”   That cyan shifted back into navy, and Sans gave Red an absolutely incredulous look.  “really?” Red grinned.  “i dunno, Sansta, you tell me.” The noise Sans made was amazing.  Red couldn’t help but laugh.  “okay okay, i’ll stop.”  He replied, trying to climb off of Sans again, but Sans still held him fast.  “...okay, my legs are fallin’ asleep here, Sans.”  He relaxed again, but jolted when he felt something that was definitely not a lump of coal, nope. “yeah?  well uh...”  Sans looked absolutely mortified, but he leaned in close and whispered something so quietly, Red almost didn’t hear it.   But he did hear it.  And his face went absolutely scarlet.  “...uhhhhehe...fucking hell, Sans.  that’s uh.  wow.  you sure yer not the one on the naughty list instead of me?” Sans still looked mortified, but he managed half a grin.  “so...uh, wanna move this party back home?” “i think we should.  ‘cause we’re probably gonna stain this fancy suit of yers if we continue.”  Red slipped his arms around Sans’ shoulders, quietly steeling himself for a shortcut. “yeah.”  Sans looked at the cups of abandoned coco, which had long since gone cold.  They really should return them.  Then he felt Red shift in his lap again, and Sans’ mind was made up.   --- “...nng.”  Red’s sockets fluttered open the next morning as the muted light of a cloudy day shined in through the window.  Right into his face.  Willing himself further into consciousness, he felt around for the familiar lump that was Sans, only to find him missing.   Swinging his arm behind him, it collided with his missing lump.  Sans let out a quiet groan at the assault.  “ow.  why.” “couldn’t find ya.”  Red mumbled, rolling over so the light wouldn’t bother him anymore.  “bright.” “mm.  i thought you liked sunlight?” “’s christmas an’ ‘m too full of lazy right now to care.”  Pulling Sans into a cuddle, Red relaxed and tried to go back to sleep. Sans snorted and let himself be cuddled.  Red’s bones still buzzed with his magic, and Sans smiled sheepishly. “merry christmas, Red.” “yeah.” “stars, you must still be tired.” “shuddap an’ go the fuck back to sleep.” “i would, but i don’t think i can.  the official Papyrus wake up call should be soon.” “the what.” Suddenly, there was a pounding knock on their door.  Red jolted in surprise.   “SANS, RED!!  WAKE UP YOU TWO LAZY BONES, IT’S CHRISTMAS!!  THERE’S PRESENTS!!”  Papyrus called excitedly, before his thudding footsteps bounded down the stairs. Now that both of them were sufficiently awake, Red groaned.  “i don’t wanna get up yet.” “we gotta.  if we don’t, i don’t think Paps’ll let the whole ‘we might not be decent’ thing stop him from barging in here to--” “’m getting up.”  Red replied, rolling himself off the bed with a muffled THUMP.  The quilt followed.   Sans laughed, before rolling himself off the bed after him.   “oof - get offa me.”  Red growled, his voice muffled by the quilt.   “huh, you’re actually kinda comfy.”  Sans replied, letting himself relax on the pile.  Red easily shrugged him off and stood up, balling up the quilt and tossing it onto the bed.   Sans let himself remain on the floor for a moment as he watched Red get dressed.  Red ignored him for the most part, but Sans didn’t miss the way his cheekbones were tinted ever so slightly scarlet.   “...i think i’ll make pancakes.  that sound good?”  Red asked after tugging his christmas sweater over his head, drawing Sans out of his thoughts. “yeah.”  Sans yawned and sat up, before retrieving a pair of shorts from the floor and tugging them on.  He wasn’t even sure if they were his.  A pair of clean sweatpants landed on his head.   “i don’t feel like having yer bro throw a shit fit over you wearing crusty floor shorts.” “they’re not crusty.”  Sans replied, picking at a questionable stain that might not quite be ketchup.  He frowned.  “sweatpants it is.” There was a clatter downstairs, and the two of them shared a look before Red left the room. --- Sure enough, Papyrus was gearing up to make them a breakfast feast.  Red yawned and took a moment to pour some coffee from the pot right into his mouth before going over and wrestling the cast iron from Papyrus’ grip.  Thankfully, Papyrus didn’t fight him.   “GOOD MORNING, RED!  MERRY CHRISTMAS!”  Papyrus beamed, before clapping an oven-mitted hand over his mouth.  “Was that too loud?” Red quirked a brow bone at him, and set the pan down on the stove.  “...no?  you don’t gotta be quiet in the house, Paps.  ‘s just us.” “...OH.  I THOUGHT YOU AND SANS HAD GOTTEN INTO THE EGGNOG YESTERDAY, WHICH IS WHY YOU WERE NOT UP EARLY, LIKE YOU NORMALLY ARE!”   “nah, i decided i wanted to remember my first real christmas without a hangover.”  Red replied simply.  “pancakes sound good?” “BUT RED, HOW WILL YOU COOK WITHOUT YOUR HANGOVER INDUCED GENIUS?” Sans took this moment to enter the room laughing.  Red shot him a glare, before giving Papyrus a tired look.  “i think i can manage pancakes.  i’ve made ‘em enough sober now that they’re not a complete mystery.” “CAN I HELP?” Red smiled. “’course, you can help me get the ingredients together.” Papyrus quickly went to go raid the fridge for ingredients.  “CAN I HAVE A SNOWMAN SHAPED PANCAKE?” “...i can try, i guess.” “can i have one shaped like a reindeer?” “yer gonna get a circle and yer gonna fucking eat it.” Sans chuckled and sipped on his coffee.  It was actually really sweet, just how far Red was willing to go to try and make Papyrus happy.  Yet something was still bothering him... Red’s brother.  Other Papyrus.  From what little Red had told him, and the... questionable things Alphys had told him, it really bothered him to imagine his sweet, naive little bro as...well, someone like Red.  Someone with LV.  Violent.  Paps had the potential to be dangerous, yes, but not the intent.   It would’ve had to be something devastating to get Papyrus to fight back to the point he gained LV.  

[bluegay-redgay]

This Shit Will Linger - “Dennys, Anyone?”

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379371/chapters/46111951 Word Count: 2,634 Summary: Everyone has made it into NYU!! Of course this calls for a celebration!After a late night of drinking and watching shitty movies, Chrisitne makes an interesting suggestion.(For reference, this is what I picture Michael's PT Cruiser looks like: https://www.autoblog.com/chrysler/pt+cruiser/  ) "We all made it!! We actually got accepted!!" Christine excitedly attempted, and failed, to embrace everyone into a group hug following the very exciting news.

"We better start saying 'hello' to student debt."

"C'mon Jerry! As true as that is, we need to celebrate!!" Brooke smiled as she began to pack her bags.

Yes, that is correct. The SQUIP Squad is officially heading to New York as students of NYU in 6 months!!

Christine followed her passion and decided to major in Musical Theatre with a minor in Asian/Pacific/American Studies, Jenna Rolan wanted to put her curiosity of knowing everything about everyone to use, majoring in Sociology. After a few stressful weeks of going back and forth, Jake settled on Sports Management while Rich went with Chemical Engineering. "It's so badass." He would say in defense, but in reality, Rich just wanted to assure himself a stable job.

To no one's surprise, Michael is going to major in Music Technology while taking a minor in Producing. Chloe went against her parents' demands and chose Individualized Study across the Humanities, "I'm not entirely sure what I want to do yet, but I want to focus on myself. But not by being pretty or whatever, like self-improvement." Brooke was definitely happy to hear that as she happily followed in her mother's footsteps, majoring in Nursing.

Jeremy was the last one to pick a major, continuously procrastinating on his application, but after some advice from Mr. Heere and some reassuring words from his friends, Jeremy decided to stick with his secret dream of Digital Art & Design. Although he typically kept his drawings to himself, Jeremy would occasionally post a drawing/design that he was particularly proud of.

Everyone was happy with their choices, and they were so ecstatic to know that everyone will be attending the same college.

"I think this calls for a chaotic hangout at Dennys! Who's drivin'?" Rich swung his backpack onto his back. "Not Jake, the last time he drove we actually almost ran into a tree." Brooke recalled the group's previous trip, sending Jake a glare.

"In my defense, I was kinda jammin' out so.." Jake didn't have anything else to say, shoving any remaining notebook paper or pens into his bag. "Yeah yeah.. So who can actually drive us there?" Jenna eyed everyone.

It only took a moment before everyone nodded and looked at a certain hoodie-wearing teen. "Michael!!"

The outburst was one thing that unsettled Michael but it was about him. And he wasn't prepared, almost falling off of the desk he was leaning on. Michael pulled down his headphones. "Yes?" Jeremy smiled and wrapped his lanky arm around Michael's shoulders, "Would you be so kind and drive us to Dennys? Pwetty pwease?" as he gave Michael the infamous puppy-dog eyes, Jeremy knew the answer already.

"Fiiiine. But you're paying for my meal." Michael groaned and grabbed his keys from his pocket. It's not like he didn't want to hang out with his friends, he was so happy about being accepted but he wasn't thrilled about moving to a new place, especially New York. It was littered with people. But nonetheless, Michael will try to adjust, if not for him, then for his friends, for Jeremy.

"Sweet! Let's dip!.. Chloe, my love, you're about to- well.." Brooke tried to warn Chloe about her smoothie but it was too late. It practically turned her top pink. "SHIT!! I JUST BOUGHT THIS!!" Chloe immediately dropped anything she was holding trying to wipe off any heavy amounts of strawberry chunks. Unfortunately this included her phone. Luckily, Christine caught it just in time as she was grabbing her book from the floor. "Woah! That was close! You need any napkins, Chlo?" Christine placed the device on a nearby desk. "What does it look like!?- Sorry! I mean, yes. Please." It's still going to take a bit more time, but Chloe has come a long way when improving her anger issues and just her overall attitude towards others.

"Are we done fucking around? I want Dennys!!" Rich lightly punched Jake's shoulder as he waited impatiently.

"Will Michael's car even fit all eight of us?" Jenna recalled the size of Michael's PT Cruiser

"Oh sure, all we have to do is tie like two of us on the roof." Michael chuckled. "But for real, you'll be fine. I think you might have a either sit on the floor or sit in someone's lap. Your choice." Michael headed towards the door, followed by everyone after Chloe decided that she was presentable again.

"Just don't fuck up my car." Michael stated, turning on the engine as they got closer. Jeremy quickly ran over to the passenger seat, it was almost a given that he'd take shotgun. But no one was complaining. Except Jake & Rich.

"C'mon Tall-Ass! At least push up your seat a little! We're crushed back here!!" Rich was basically on Jake's lap at this point. Not that he minded, Jake didn't seem to care either. Their legs had different opinions however.

Jeremy basically liked to lay down while Michael drives, whether it's to catch up on sleep that he's deprived of or to just clear his mind. Either way his seat was totally crushing Jake & Rich's legs, "Fine fine fine... This better?" He moved his seat about two feet, clearing the space immensely.

"Yes sir! Thank ya very much." Rich slid down Jake's legs a bit as he relaxed, pulling out some chips that were stuffed in his backpack.

"Can we go now?! It's hella crowded back here." Jenna complained, trying to not impale Christine's chest with her elbow.

"You guys asked Michael to drive, this is what you get." Jeremy looked at her through the rear-view mirror.

"Honestly, anything's better than Jake's driving." Brooke muttered under her breath.

"Do you wanna fight? I was not tryna get called out like this." Jake placed his hand over his heart as he continued his dramatic monologue, "I thought we were friends Brooke. I cannot believe that you'd betray me in such a way- Holy shit!!!"

His sentence was nearly cut off as Michael slammed the brakes. "What the fuck, Michael?!" Rich held the back of the passenger's seat tightly.

"A damn truck cut me off, nearly hitting me. You're welcome for not getting you hurt." Michael snapped back, continuing the drive, if a bit more cautious.

Jeremy looked at Michael and could tell immediately that he was panicking a bit, "Want someone else to drive on the way home?" Michael stayed silent for a moment, "No. It's fine. Just people being complete dumbasses." Jeremy nodded and scolled through Instagram. He was very aware that Michael can get serious road rage despite being calm almost 24/7.

"It'll be the first entrance to the right after this exit, Michael." He nodded and changed lanes, "Thanks Christine."

"Hey! Lovebirds, might wanna wrap that make-out session up soon. We're pretty much there." Jake called out, and he was right: Chloe & Brooke were practically sucking each other's faces off. "Fuck off, Jake." Chloe eyed him from her periphery vision. "We're having a moment."

"You were at my wedding, Denise." Jake scoffed. He then saw the iconic logo signalling his stomach to growl rather loudly.

"I guess that means that we're here. Let's roll! I can't feel my legs." Jenna practically shoved Rich & Jake out of the car, finally free. "Yes!! Now let me stuff pancakes in my mouth!" She ran off with with everyone to grab a booth and potentially raid the kitchen.

Jeremy was about to join them when he noticed that Michael hadn't even moved from his seat, "Micha? You good, dude?" Michael tensed at the question but slowly nodded, "Y-Yup.. I'm great.." His hands started to shake and his chest was rising faster as the seconds passed, "...N-No.." Tears suddenly flowed down his cheeks, it was as if a dam was just broken down.

Jeremy immediately hugged him, rubbing small circles on his back. He didn't say a word, he learned from personal experience that words of reassurance isn't always the best solution. Sometimes it's just a simple hug and letting the other cry it out, but not alone. Not again.

"I'm.. I'm sorry Jer... I-It's just.. I'm stressed? I-I mean we just.. we just got accepted into f-fucking college!.. We'll.. We'll be moving to a new state, shit to the m-most populated city in fucking America!.. And.. And the d-debt.. I guess it's just... piling up on me.." Michael sniffed as he rubbed his eyes with his hoodie.

Jeremy smiled and only tightened his hug a little. "Dude I get it. I completely understand, I mean it IS fucking stressful but here's the thing: I'll be there with you throughout the entire journey. We made it a two-player game, right? That's gonna continue throughout college and even when we're old geezers with white hair. You have my word." Jeremy ran his fingers through Michael's black locks.

Michael almost started crying again, he was only able to nod, still wanting the hug to last forever, "Yeah, I'll uh.. hold you to it, dude."

"Wanna stuff our faces with syrup-soaked pancakes?" Jeremy asked, pulling away to see his reaction.

Michael smirked, "Always." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone had finished their food a long time ago, now they were just exchanging witty banter or suffering from a food coma.

"I am a firm believer that Walt Disney froze his body and that 'Frozen' was created to hide those google results about the body! You cannot tell me otherwise!!" Brooke slammed her fist against the table as she declared her stance on this very important matter.

"I mean it makes sense, the man was a genius! Why wouldn't he want to live forever?"

"Brooke, honey, I think you're alone on this one."

"Michael agrees with me! He believes in more conspiracies than all of us combined!"

Michael chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, "I mean it's not the stupidest theory I've heard but there are so many other theories that are way more convincing!" He was feeling better after his anxiety attack, it took some food with a couple of dumb jokes and Michael was smiling again. He was calm.

Christine was rather quiet at the moment so anyone would've nearly screamed when she slammed her palms onto the table yelling, "GUYS I JUST HAD AN AMAZING IDEA!!"

After everyone recovered from the small heart attack, Chloe was the only one quick enough to have a response, "Here we go.. What are we gonna reenact "Your Fault" again?" She rolled her eyes at the memory.

"Not this time. So, hear me out: Like it or not, we're going to be Stressed-Out College Students™, so we need an outlet of sorts in order to-"

"Chris, get to the point." Jenna cut him off, sipping her coffee.

"Okay, okay! We can create a YouTube channel! Or multiple, it's your choice."

It was silent for a second until Brooke released a muffled snicker, following by everyone laughing at the idea. Except Christine.

"It'll be fun!!" Christine smiled. Wait is she serious?

"Chris, I know you're one of the most outgoing people on this dying planet but come on. What would we even do?" Michael wiped his eyes from laughing so hard.

"Anything we want! It's like a way to...how do I put this..

"Express ourselves?" Michael added some half-assed jazz hands, obviously joking.

"Yes!! Exactly! C'mon, at least give it a shot! We can each have our own channels and then a conjoint channel for all of us! It'll so much fun and can be something interesting for us to do over the summer and in college!!"

Again, her statement was met with silence... until Jeremy sighed and gave Christine a smile, "I...uh... guess it wouldn't hurt? I'm still uh.. hesitant?"

Jeremy's agreement was all that it took for the rest of the group, even Michael, to start muttering their agreement. Jeremy had a point, it wouldn't hurt them to at least try it out, right?

Brooke tapped her chin as her mind tried to think of an idea, "Maybe... Oh! Chlo & I can do makeup tutorials, random vlogs or shopping hauls! And also have our weekly trips to Pinkberry! Whaddya say, Chloe?" Her face practically shined like a star. So of course Chloe couldn't deny her, "That might be fun.. I'm up for it if you are?" Brooke responded with a peck on Chloe's cheek.

"Barf. I'd totally do prank videos or parkour. Something hella cool. Maybe a few of those cliche internet challenges." Rich chuckled, secretly excited about this potential channel. "Bro, if you think I'm deadass not gonna join, my dude you are wrong, heh!!" Jake bro-fisted with Rich, establishing this collaboration.

Christine excitedly clapped her hands, "Yay!! I'm excited!! I mean obviously I'd do theatre reviews, maybe some covers and costume tutorials!! Oh, I can't wait!! What about you Jenna?"

Jenna didn't even need to think about it. It was almost a given, "Probably gossip & fashion review. Maybe the occasional vlog if I travel. Michael? Jer?"

All attention was on the two of them, "Well if my channel is gonna reflect my life, it'll be a mess so uh.. I guess whatever I want? It may um.. depend on my mood that day, who knows?" Jeremy just shrugged but honestly? He wasn't sure what he wanted to do at all.

"If I must create content for the people of the planet, most of it would likely consist of conspiracies.. random thoughts/realizations I have when I'm high and uh.. I dunno gaming?" Michael still wasn't keen on the idea of starting a channel but that didn't mean he wasn't gonna try it, it did sound pretty dope to him.

The group nodded in agreement, that suited them. "And we'd have a channel for all of us? Sweet. Why not make a video now? Like a launch sorta thing?" Jake suggested.

It didn't sound like a bad to them, why the hell not?

"Cool, cool. Let's create our channels first!" Christine pulled out her phone and started the process. Everyone mimicked her actions and soon enough, the SQUIP Squad had started their YouTube career.

"I think it's pretty obvious that we share our names, yeah? I'll start: My channel is 'Babbling Brookie'! Chloe and I's channel is called 'verypinkberry' Brooke was proud of the names, it obvious who created them.

"Mine is simply 'CooCooChloe', fitting isn't it?" Chloe scoffed, she actually really liked it.

"Those are nice and all but the channel to be at is 'NotSoRichieRich' cause I'm a broke bitch! Haha!" Jake rolled his and prepared his announcement as if it would change the world, "Are you ready for this, ladies & gentlemen? My channel is called.... 'JakeyD' it's fucking original and no one can top that." His toothy grin was just a cherry on top.

"Adorable. 'JamPackJenna' because woooo boy is the tea hot right now!" She was in the middle of taking a selfie that would likely be her icon.

"I wanted to do a bit of wordplay as well so I did it! 'Chrisanthemum'! It has a pretty okay ring to it. Jeremy? What about you? Please tell me it's a pun!!"

Jeremy laughed and nodded, "It's 'HeereHere'.." The first one to burst out laughing was of course Michael, that pun went way back to when the two met in preschool. "Oh-Oh my GOD Jer!! You.. You actually..!" It took Michael a few seconds to calm down as he cleared his throat, "It is purely 'Mellon'. I do not take criticism."

And no one criticized because come on, that's one of the best puns for his name.

"Sweet, now shall film this late night announcement at Dennys?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TheSQUIPSquad™ uploaded a new video.

[jinwoowoohoo]

@cha-eunwoow and @sanhatation hit me with that x2 tag combo (💖💕💞) I was gonna put them both in this post but it.... got very long... so I will split them up after all 😅

First up is a Kpop one from lovely Liv (hey girl I hope things are going better for you!!)

To anyone who genuinely reads through all of this bless your heart and ily

1) 5 favorite groups?

f(x), ASTRO, SHINee, Day6, Dreamcatcher

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

Lol I just did this, so: Amber, Jinjin, Onew, S.coups, Wonpil (though if we can double from groups my girl Luna would 100% be here)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

f(x) - they were my first group and will forever be my ults. I just love how unique they are both as a group and each member individually! Every member shines so much in their own way and can absolutely stand as artists in their own right (and have been proving so with their solo projects the past 2+ years), and when they come together they create things that are so cool and beautiful and unique 💜 Honest to god after I sat down and listened to their whole discography on Spotify for the first time, I listened to nothing but them 8+ hrs a day, 7 days a week for almost a month I was so in love (i'm not exaggerating you can ask my roommate aldbaj) (SM please let us have f(4) again I would literally cry). That being said I also consider ASTRO and SHINee to be ults, and could write whole paragraphs for them as well 💕 

(but y’all please support my girls, Victoria put out a Chinese single and should be following with an album, Amber’s halfway through releasing videos for her mixtape & Luna is releasing 2 digital singles this coming week! Krystal has no musical projects atm but you can check out her dramas and modeling~)

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

My kpop origin story revolves around me coming across the Electric Shock mv in 2013 and being both in love with and absolutely floored by Amber. A girl? In a girl idol group? With short hair?? Who presents in a masculine way?? I couldn’t believe it was something the companies would let happen and it was so. I don't even know. But I knew it was really meaningful and important to me. 3 years later I actually fully listen to the group (honestly thank got I needed new music to listen to at work) and I finally learned her name - Amber Liu. I'm someone who id's as nonbinary, and I've really struggled with my perceived femininity my whole life - its something I'm still working through. When I saw Amber, a person working in a very gender stereotype-heavy industry and culture, being able to present in the way she's comfortable and standing up for the rights of others to do the same, it just really touched me on a deep personal level. Even though I know she id's as cishet she still has done a lot for those of us that don't, and I'm sooo insanely proud of her for sticking to her guns and choosing to live her truth through all of the hell people have given and continue to give her for it. Not only has she stuck it to the haters by prospering, but she's taken her experiences and her talents and made them into absolutely beautiful works of art. 

She uses her music to express her feelings and talk about her struggles, and the fact that her work is so personal and has so much of her in it also means a lot to me (please listen to Borders, Need to Feel Needed, Beautiful, Heights, and this cover of One More Light NOTE: if self harm is a bad topic for you, maybe skip One More Light and the Borders mv (the song is fine and ultimately uplifting, and the mv does end happily). She has worked so. damn. hard. to pursue her dreams and passions, often having to rely on just herself and her friends to work when SM just straight up refuses to do their JOB as her MANAGEMENT COMPANY, and somehow she keeps doing it with that beautiful smile.

Aside from all the gooshy stuff, she’s just really goofy and fun (and attractive >>) AND she was born just 2 months before me so I feel there’s a connection (also my parents considered naming me Amber and she considered my name as a stage name??? #starcrossedlovers). Finally she has literally the cutest dog in the world please look at this picture and cry with me

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

lmaooo now that I’ve poured my heart out over Amber, lets look at the human meme that is Lee Taemin (i just picked one but my favorite meme is just. him.)

And a special shoutout to all of the rest of the SHINee memes, like I thought about linking just one but there are so many legendary classics how do you choose (I got to experience the burnt Gucci story in person though so a super special shoutout to that one)

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

I’ll do both my ults since this is my Astro blog but I’ve only talked about f(x) so far ;;;;;

For Amber, this picture has been my phone background for well over a year now so I guess this one?? It’s from the song festival when she and Ksuke debuted Breathe Again (many months before it’s official release) and she was just feeling herself so much during the performance (credit for the pic most likely goes to her fansite Ambossing)

As for Jinwoo adljasdfs I only have like 100 pics of him just on my phone this is fine I’m gonna pick this one, bc when he posted it I loved it so much I came very close to literally printing it out and framing it...... he just looks so happy!! And he’s being his most natural self, no hair/makeup, out with his family, doing something he loves. It just Warms My Heart

7)  Favorite Kpop MVs

Ok this is a whole can of worms, so I’ll try to limit it to just 10 I quite like?? (in no specific order)

1) Astro - Baby 2) VIXX - Error 3) Seventeen - Lilili Yabbay 4) SHINee - Boys Meet U 5) EXID - DDD 6) KNK - Rain (performance ver) 7) Oh My Girl - Closer  8) f(x) - Electric Shock 9) Crayon Pop - FM 10) Taemin - Saynoara Hitori (I know it was a Japanese release but ssssh I’m counting it WAIT HECK i just realized Boys Meet U was a Japanese release too asdlfjasf welp) 

Also shoutout to this cover Dreamcatcher did of Maroon 5′s Lucky Strike

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

I don’t have a single specific one, there are so many quality compilations (I have watched a surprising number of Seventeen as Vines videos though lmao) 

10) Favorite content creator(s) within the fandom?

All Aroha are super talented ok, If I listed everyone that came to mind we’d be here for longer than anyone needs to be....

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

the only fandom I’m fully in that’s  been active in Korea the past year is Astro :’) But that’s well enough, I really do love this community!

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

omg no why

F-Jinjin asldfjasdf

M-Amber

K- Onew..... no this is wrong :< I’m changing the k from kill to kiss ok? ok.

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

Honestly probably Luna - she is one of the single most uplifting people in the world and she’s always ready for a good time! Queen of self love!

14) If you could date any idol, who?

I would never want to date an idol unless they were no longer/never an idol - trying to date around the antis and media would just be way too stressful on its own, plus the idol would be so busy all the time you’d barely get to see each other anyway

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

SHINee - Married to the Music

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

yes (depends on the idol)

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

Yoon Sanha, my soft noodle, my potato son

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

@ Park Jaehyung meet me behind the Taco Bell at midnight

19) Favorite vocalist?

MJ/Luna/Onew

20) Favorite Rapper?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately and I’m honestly not sure??? Some contenders are Rocky and LE though

21) Favorite dancer?

sdflajsfadsf why must you hurt me in this way I’ll say Taemin because he really puts a lot of thought and self into his dance, and he’s actively trying to create change in the way the industry thinks about gender and dance

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

I think I pretty much touched on all that with Amber, so for Jinjin we both love dogs and like the drums, we can be quick to smile, we try to lead in an understanding/accommodating way rather than a total authoritarian way, we do That Face™ when someone is pushing our buttons lol

23) The most beautiful trait any idol can have?

Kindness and an open mind

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

how....long do you want to be here adsflj I will say the song that gets me jamming the MOST at work is N.Flying - Hot Potato

25) Your worst wrecker?

I’m here today to talk to you about a dangerously beautiful man named Kim Myungjun

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

I saw SHINee in Dallas with my bff in 2017, then I went to Astro in DC all by my lonesome this past February! (so I just need to see f(x) and I’ll have gone to all 3 ult groups) Also fun fact my good friend @jinjins-freckles was also at those two concerts, but we didn’t know each other yet for the SHINee one - funny how things work out~

27) Favorite choreo?

THIS. THIS IS THE HARDEST QUESTION. I CAN’T. IMPOSSIBLE. I’m not even gonna try and list some.... theres.... too many;;;;

28) Favorite live performance?

ok look first of all, you come into MY house, and ask me to pick ONE performance adslfj I’ll say SHINee’s Woof Woof bc I was absolutely obsessed with it after I discovered it, its just so fun and goofy but also bops hard as heck??? Legends Only

29) Favorite debut mv?

Hide & Seek cleared my skin watered my crops and gave me a lil smooch on the forehead

30) Recommend a rookie group

Dreamcatcher!!! They’re having a comeback in May please support our goth goddesses

31.) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

Astro - Puss n Boots

32) Tag some cute mutuals you’d like to get to know better (and to do this challenge)!

Since she’s tagged me a few times lately I’ll tag @myunghjun (and that’s it asdlj if you read all the way to the end consider yourself tagged too ok ily)

[petals42]

Ah, time for me to do SO MANY QUESTIONS! I was tagged by @andavs and @obroech so i’m going to do them all in 1 post! 

up first, leda’s questions!

1. Your favorite work of art: Oh, leds.... ledserelli. you know this is a weakness in our friendship. i don’t know... any pieces of art?? i only know the most basic of artists... I think I liked monet? at one point? oh gosh i am uncultured swine. 

2. Do you prefer a laid back vacation with lots of downtime, or lots of activities and sightseeing? my family is a bunch of lazy vacationers. we are ALL ABOUT that downtime. like if im in a cool city, then sure i want to do a few things, but i need my chill introvert time. leave me in a warm spot with a book for a little while. which i feel like is lame and can be embarrassing to admit in our very “TRAVEL IS LIFE” culture but its true. i dont actually do well with travel at all and need relaxing time.

3. What’s your skincare routine like? Minimal or extensive? A splash of water or a shelf of products, or somewhere in between? very minimal. i have some basic face wash for the morning and then just water at night. 

4. What’s the last thing you do before you go to bed? mess around on the computer for a bit! either on tumblr or read a fanfic or talking to @andavs

5. Do you buy your books or borrow them from a library? I used to be a buyer but i don’t have money and my roommate is REALLY into the library and let me just say SHE HAS CONVERTED ME COMPLETELY!!! the library is AMAZING! it has saved me so much money in terms of novels that i have to read for school and it allows me to read some YA novels that i know i only want to read once without worrying about it and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. i’ve made a vow that the only novels I buy are going to be ones that i want to teach and its honestly awesome. if you have a library in your area, i HIGHLY recommend them. 

6. A secret talent you have that most people in your life don’t know about: oh goodness... most people know about my talents. well, actually, most people don’t know i can write fanfic (but they do know I like writing and have written a novel draft). ack, all my talents are boring ones that people know about! 

7. The show you watched the most as a child: ARTHUR! for a long time, we didn’t have cable so PBS was like our one channel so I watched Arthur and Dragon Tales for like... longer than was probably acceptable? Like right up to 10, 11, 12ish i think. but it was a great show. 

8. The title of that book you’ve been meaning to read: People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. It is RIGHT up my alley and supposed to be great and my mom read it and said it was awesome and I keep meaning to. But I have such a limited time between semesters that it usually gets filled up with fun reading. 

9. Do you enjoy acting? Being onstage? I don’t do it in any formal way but I did take Beginning Acting senior year of college and it was awesome! I like public speaking and being in front of people so I think acting would be fun!

10. An uncommon object you own: A lacrosse ball? That in and of itself is not weird, i know, but no one in my family ever played lacrosse so i don’t actually remember how i got it. Weirder is that I brought it to college for some reason and then attached this weird like “nothing bad happened to my dorm/apartment in college” so i then brought it with me to Miami and then to LONDON and now it is in my apartment. it has never been used or played with but it shall probably continue to sit in my bedside drawer forever. (note: i just told Roommate A this and she said it was weird, really weird. she did not know this about me and we’ve lived together for like 7 years now). 

*^*^*^ And now @obroech‘s questions!*^*^

1. What are you most proud of? I was a really, really damn good teacher back when I did it (and now im doing it again!). So i’m proud of everything I accomplished with my classes back then and I’m proud of myself for deciding to go back to it. 

2. What was the last thing to make you really laugh? My roommates and I went to see “The Illusionists” magic show and coming out of it, we were talking about what our favorite part was, ect, ect. And Roommate A goes: “I didn’t like the manipulator (guy who likes makes cards appear from midair and stuff). I just... I don’t appreciate being tricked.” We all DIED laughing at her and just repeated that in a more and more snobby (and british??) accent and killing ourselves. “Oh, no, no don’t take me to a magic show- I don’t appreciate being TRICKED!” i wish you could hear me say it. it’s hilarious. 

3. Who in your life knows you the best? Probably my roommates. One is my best friend from high school, one my best friend from college and then Roommate B is A’s husband who now has been living with me for going on 3 years. Also, my mom and dad know me pretty well too. I’m just thinking roommates know me more cuz there are here for the day-to-day now. and there are some stories you don’t tell parents. yaknow. 

4. How do you react to unexpected circumstances? In emergencies, I get very, very calm and like “alright this is what we have to do. no one panic. lets take this a step at a step. here we go.” which is a good skill (i’m pretty good at calming people down from panic attacks!) generally, i’m pretty go with the flow i think!

5. Why are you doing what you’re doing with your life? Right now my life is all about manuevering SO MANY THINGS so that I can get my dream job at my dream school come august. it means taking lots and lots of classes and going to this school to observe and get to know teachers and february is going to be a STRESSFUL MONTH but hopefully it will be worth it. in terms of why im teaching, its because i really did love it and i feel like it does make a difference and is something i could do and be happy at for a long, long time. 

6. Where do you feel most comfortable? home! on my spot on the couch with my roommates on their respective spots all of us just chilling and talking shit.

7. What do you want to do? right now? eat! it’s dinner time and I am a hungry person!

8. What’s the first thing you notice about another person? errrrr.... their face? how tall they are? i am not good at this question!

9. What are your favourite flavours? SALT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and spicy. I like savory much more than sweet things. Just give me salty spicy stuff all day please.

10. What genre of fiction (books, podcasts, movies, tv shows, whatever) do you gravitate towards? I love fantasy books. I like action/sci-fi-y movies (like star wars and marvel and shit like that). I love sitcom tv shows more than dramas. don’t really like podcasts. 

OKAY I am tagging: @andavs @wellhalesbells @mad-madam-m @obroech @troubleiwant @rhysiana @poetry-protest-pornography @veronicabunch @sleepy-skittles and @queerlyalex to answer these ten questions:

1. What was the first story you ever wrote? (I think you are all writers, apologies if that is not so)

2. If you won the lottery, what would you do THAT NIGHT, like right when you find out?

3. If you could get the answer to one Big Question of life, which question would you want to know the answer to?

4. What fictional world would you like to be a part of and why?

5. Do you wear a watch?

6. Favorite item that you purchased this past year? 

7. Favorite sandwich?

8. What has been your favorite part of the fandom experience?

9. Do you believe in ghosts/the supernatural?

10. If you went to one of these parties (where you give a three minute presentation on a cool passion or interest for those of you who don’t want to follow that link), what would your presentation be on?

As always, no pressure to answer! have fun with it! Thanks for tagging me!

[fenfyre]

*slapping knees* gUESS WHO HAS A MOTHA FUCKIN' ANGST PROMPT? This guy! So so so imagine middle aged erejeans in which they're getting older and Jean is still super scared that Eren will one day stop loving him (I'm going to draw a thing for my idea, but I may as well leave a prompt before it leaves my head)

Dude, this was so hard to write? I noticed I’ve actually never written from the perspective of a middle aged character before and I had to concentrate so hard to get into a fitting mindset? Anyway, I hope it somewhat worked. Thanks for the challenge!You should definitely show me your art when it’sa done so I can link it in this post!

The years had been kind to Eren. Itwasn’t that they’d flown by without leaving their mark, of coursethey had. But with every change, every tiny, additional imperfectionEren grew more striking and unique. The silver streaks in his darkhair suited him just like the laughter lines around his mouth andeyes did. Even the scars he’d collected over the years and yearsworking at the fire department were beautiful badges of honour hewore with pride. Not even the difficult years after his accidentwhere he’d almost died trapped in a burning building and developedserious Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder afterwards had managed toleave lingering shadows on his soul and mind. He still had nightmaressometimes and was uncomfortable in small rooms but he’d learned todeal with the intrusions that had gotten much rarer and look out forhimself in unfamiliar situations. Eren was strong andgorgeous and so full of life. He was happy. And that was reallyeverything Jean had ever wanted for his husband. To see him happy andcontent with the life they had built together.But at the sametime it was so much harder than expected. To have someone beside himwho was this vibrant and energetic and gorgeous, someone who madeeveryone around them light up with joy and fascination. Someone whowas kind and loving and smart and deserved so much better.Jeanhadn’t aged nearly as well as Eren had. His hairline was thinningmore with every passing month, his eyesight had worsened considerablyover the last few years and his body … well, all the sitting aroundat the office sure didn’t do him any favours. He’d grown thin andweak, fingers bony and knees knobbly, the lean muscle he’d once beenproud of melted away by long hours of overtime and laziness. He couldbarely stand looking in the mirror.But it wasn’t just that. Jeanwas … boring. He knew that. Of the hundreds of things he’d foundinteresting thirty years ago there was barely anything left. He wasinterested in work, which was a silver lining in his grey everydaylife. Then there were the handful of shows he enjoyed and followed.He liked good whiskey. He liked documentaries about nature andwildlife. He liked Eren. Besides that there wasn’t much. He wasalso sarcastic and bitter about a lot of things. Politics, education,art. How any of their family members even tolerated him was amystery.How Eren could still stand to be married to him, anenigma.“Maddie called earlier”, Eren said over the loudbubbling noises coming from the stove. He was preparing soup fordinner and busied himself cutting a few slices of fresh bread whileit cooked.Jean looked up from the article in his businessmagazine that he hadn’t caught a single word of.“Yeah?”, hehuffed, watching his husband across the kitchen island. “How isshe? Still with that loser, what’s his … Chad?”“Brad”,Eren corrected him, one side of his lips quirked up and Jean rolledhis eyes. Right, Brad. Pathetic frat boy.“She’s fine andyes, she’s still with Brad. But she called about the loan contractfor her apartment? I told her you’d call her back…” Jean grumbledquietly, mentally going over his schedule. “I’ll … call herThursday around lunch time?”“She called me Papa, I think it’surgent”, Eren grinned. He was still clinging on to his image ofMaddie as their little girl the way they’d first met her. Seven yearold spitfire and constant pain in their asses. They loved her dearlyand she’d learned to love them right back. Twenty years later nothinghad changed, really. “After dinner then”, Jean gave inand got a wide smile in return, the way the skin crinkled aroundEren’s eyes now would always make his heart stop for a second or two.“Thanks, darling.”Eren finished with the bread and putthe slices into a little basket they’d bought a few summers agoduring their vacation in Italy. “Is everythingalright?”When Jean looked up from his magazine again Eren wasleaning across the kitchen island, handsome face dangerously closeand studying him with that intense gaze. Jean swallowed and leanedaway from him a bit. He could barely open his mouth to answer whenEren furrowed his brows and shook his head.“Don’t you dare feedme bullshit. You’ve been grumpy the last few days. Well, grumpierthan usual…”Jean squinted at him even though the littlelaugh Eren tacked onto the words was quite disarming. But what was heeven supposed to answer? ‘Could you stop being so damn amazing so Idon’t feel like shit next to you’? Hardly the way to begin thisdiscussion. But was there really an alternative? Should he even talkabout this?They’d been over his insecurities time and time again.He wasn’t a teenager anymore, nor an inexperienced freshman and itwas definitely too late for a midlife crisis…“’m fine”,he grumbled instead, eyes flicking back down to the pages he couldswear he’d never seen before.For a moment it felt like Eren wouldprotest, insist, press on. He knew Jean way too well and there was noway he’d accept this without a fight. Then there was a low,thoughtful hum and Eren pushed himself away from the kitchen islandto stroll over to the calendar hung on the wall.“We shouldgo dancing Saturday night”, he said, his voice light and pretty.“I’m not on call on Sunday, so…” When Jean looked over at hishusband his eyebrows were dancing and Jean always laughed.“Dancing?”, he asked, incredulous. They hadn’t been out todance in … years, probably. “Where, the community centre? Maybethey’ll let us play bingo before. But we’ll need to take care to notthrow out your hip…” Eren snorted but shook his head.“Comeon, we’re not that old!”“We’re … pretty old, Eren”, Jeangrumbled. He could already feel his stomach sink at the thought ofpeople looking at them, wherever they might end up going. Wonderinghow someone as lively and beautiful as Eren could end up with someoneas dull and ugly as Jean…There was a hand curling aroundhis, tugging him off the bar stool, gentle but insisting.“Nottoo old for this”, Eren smirked as he pulled Jean close. The way hepositioned their hands said he’d let Jean lead but the pull of hisbody showed the opposite, sweeping them around the kitchen andtwirling around Jean to a silent tune.Just like that the memoriescame back. Nights spent in dirty bars and clubs, sweating and slidingand spinning until sunrise. Then, later, ballroom dance at fancy workevents and weddings, at their wedding…Jean swallowed, his chestpulling tight around his heart. He had to hold on to this, thisfeeling, this amazing man, and enjoy their time together for howeverlong he still could. Before Eren understood how pointless wasting histime with Jean was. Before he’d leave to find someonebetter.“Saturday night, then”, he forced out and Eren’sanswering smile was blinding.“I love you, you grumpy old man”,he grinned as he suddenly dipped Jean. It wasn’t as low as it hadbeen years and years ago, but his hands were still warm and broad,his body strong and steady. Jean felt his eyes slide closed.“Loveyou too, idiot…”, he muttered and moments later soft lips pressedagainst his as Eren pulled him upright again.[If you enjoyed this story, please consider buying me a coffee

[mirageofthedesert]

Idea for a Sam x reader, but I'm too lazy to write it (or, well, obsessed with King Arthur atm): Uncharted x Riverdale crossover; Sam is divorced, has a kid and lives in Riverdale, the reader - his ex wife - comes back to Riverdale and wants to make up for what she's done and be a part of his life and the life of their son.

Fanfiction Title: Back To Reality (Part 1) 

Fandom: Uncharted // Riverdale (2017) 

Pairing: Sam Drake x reader

Words: 2,521

Genre: Drama (Comedy)

Rating: T

Warnings: None?

Summary:Samuel Drake and you were married for over ten years and lived in Riverdale. Youtwo were having a wonderful time with even a baby boy to welcome to the world.Everything seemed all right, until that moment you got stressed out as a motherand wanted some freedom. That’s when you got feelings for a colleague at work.You held up the affair for over a month, when Sam got suspicious and eventuallyfound out about it. You two decided it was better to split and to leave him and yourchild in Riverdale, where he would have a decent childhood.A few years later you get a surprising invitation to your kid’s 13th birthday. DoesSam know?

A/N: Oh hello! It’s me again! To be honest; I had so much fun writing this story. Ilove Riverdale and it’s many wicked characters and my love for Sam Drake is stillgoing. I thought this was going to be a one shot, but instead I’ll split it into a part1 and 2. I hope you guys like it! I’m very nervous about posting it! So thanks to the one who requested this story and I hope you enjoy it!

New year, new me.

That’s what you always tell yourself when another year full of memoriesends, right? For you, it was at the end of the summer break when you decided itwas time to go back where you started.

Okay, it wasn’t just because you saw the light somehow. Your accountantjob in Seattle was getting worse by the week and when you figured out your bosswas never going to give you that promotion unless you flirted the hell out of him,you packed your stuff and left. Romance wasn’t a great thing either. Your affairdidn’t last long in the end and you got dumped for a girl with more money. Afterthat you had some relationships here and there, but nothing felt like a certainperson you left behind. With your kid for god’s sake!

And now you were standing here, in front of your old house. On the day ofyour son’s 13th birthday party which he invited you for in secret. First youthought it was a joke, but when you saw the curly and sloppy handwriting, youknew Sam couldn’t have written it.

Eventually you got the courage to buy a present and a birthday card. Youpacked your bags and here you were. And you had no idea if Sam knew you werecoming. Cass’s message didn’t say.

Your old home still looked the same and you felt tears prickling in youreyes. The many memories you two had had been playing like a film in your head.You slowly walked to the sidewalk and got to the conclusion that you had no idea if Sam knew you were coming. You started to panic slightly and stoodstill in front of the porch. What if this was all wrong?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the front door that opened. Standingin front of you was Cass. He had grown the last time you have seen him. He had acolorful party hat on his head and was dressed in a nice looking white shirt withjeans. He slowly walked towards you, his facial expression calm, but surprised.

“Wow,” he said. “I didn’t think you would actually show up.”

You just stood there and smiled a little. “Well, at least your mother cansurprise you now and then,” you said.

With no emotion he put his arms around your waist and his head againstyour chest. You were caught off guard and bend a little to your knees to put hisbirthday present and your purse down.

“Cass,” you whispered and carefully put your hands on his shoulders.

“I’m so glad you’re here mom,” he said, muffled through your red/whitepolka dot dress. “I really am. Even because you did something very stupid.”

You smiled warmly and looked him in the eyes.

“That’s a very mature answer from someone who just turned thirteen,”you said.

Cass’s smile got brighter, but changed it to a straight line when he sawyour worried look on your face.

“Cass,” you started and put your fingers on his cheek. “Does daddy knowI’m here?”

He avoided eye contact and looked down. You frowned and eventuallystood up. That caught his attention back to you and he grabbed your hand.

“Mom, please,” he said. “I just… I know you did a bad thing, but-““Cass? Dear, are you outside?”An unfamiliar voice called from the inside of the house. You felt the grip on your hand tighten. The clicking of heels sounded and the front door openedagain. A brown haired lady, dressed in dark purple came outside. When she sawyou and Cass she raised her eyebrows. Her eyes looked especially at the handsyou two were holding.

“Who’s this then Cass?” she asked.Damn. Her voice was pretty. A little too pretty if you asked me.“M-mom,” he stuttered. “This is Hermione Lodge. Hermione, Y/N.”You looked at her. She smiled at you when she noticed the title you had been given and walked towards you. She reached out with her manicured hand. 

“It’s a pleasure meeting you Y/N,” she said. 

Then she spotted your birthday present for Cass.

“Oh my! She bought you something! Isn’t that lovely?”

Cass nodded and picked it up. “I’m going to open it inside, okay?” heasked.

“Of course dear!” she said. That was his cue to run. You wanted to go afterhim, but Hermione stopped you.

“Listen darling,” she said. “I know your history, everybody knows.”

You closed your eyes with a sigh. God damn it, even the newbies know.Why did you come back to Riverdale again?

“So what’s it to you?” you asked. “Haven’t seen your face before by theway.”

She chuckled. “Oh sweetie, I moved here from New York a few months ago.”

You thought she was joking…

“And I’m sorry to let you know, but your ex-husband moved on.” “With you, I presume?”“Oh! There are some brains in that head of yours! How lovely.” 

Your blood was boiling, but you kept it at a straight pace.

“Anyway,” she said and turned around. “Maybe it’s better if you wentback to the place you came from. Sam is probably not amused if he finds you here.”

She was very rude, but she was right. Cass his reaction to the million-dollar question was awfully clear that Sam did not know about your comeback.Still, you did not want to get kicked out. Maybe it was time to just come clean.

“And maybe it’s time to just be here for my child Hermione,” you said.“After all, he was the one who invited me. And I suspect you have children ofyour own?”

Hermione nodded strangely.

“Then you should know the feeling when you just want to spend timewith your loved ones. Am I correct?”

You patted her on the shoulder, gently pushed her out of the way andwalked inside.

That felt awfully good! Your confidence grew by the minute, until youwalked into a living room full of people you knew. A few of them immediatelystopped talking to look at you.

“I’ll be damned,” Fred Andrews said. “Y/N is back in town.” He cheered hisbeer up at you, but with no response from the rest of the party guests.

Now everyone had his attention on you, including Cass who was sitting onthe couch with your present half opened. He looked worried, but also a little bitproud. You smiled and waved a little.

“Hey everyone,” you said. “I guess the cat’s out of the bag. I’m back.”

You got a few suspected looks, until they turned around when the door tothe backyard opened. Sam stepped inside with a birthday cake and lit up candles.He started singing the happy birthday song. Everybody slowly joined in. It hadbeen a long time since you heard his voice. It still sounded pure and beautiful.

Behind you you heard Hermione’s pretty voice again, singing the last fewwords of the song and joined Sam. Cass’s face was priceless, but before he blewout his candles he hesitated.

“What’s wrong big guy?” Sam asked. “You don’t know what you wannawish for?”

Cass looked at the cake, the candles and then suddenly at your face. Youfroze.

Shit. SHIT! NO!

Sam followed his direction and when he met your eyes he was shocked.The whole room was on edge you could feel it. You grabbed the handles of yourpurse tighter and finally made eye contact.

“Hi,” you said. “Surprise.”

Sam didn’t respond. Instead Hermione slipped her arm around his andwhispered something in his ear. You frowned at the interaction, but didn’t wantto make a scene.

“It’s okay Dad,” Cass said, finally putting everyone at ease. “She’s on thelist.”

You chuckled lightly. Cass blew out the candles and everybody clapped.Sam’s rhythm was a little off, but you understood why. You tried to ignore Sam’sburning eyes and sat down next to Cass on the couch.

“Well?” you said. “Aren’t you going to open your present?”

He smiled and took the pretty and colorful box back on his lap. Hermionewas slowly cutting the cake in pieces and while giving everybody a piece; you felther eyes not leaving your sight. Cass ripped the paper off the box and opened it.His eyes lit up when he grabbed a camouflage colored fidget spinner out of thebox.

“Mom, this is amazing!” he said.

“That’s not even the best part,” you said and with your finger you tappedthe middle. Little green lights appeared around the three circles while Cass wasspinning it around. He laughed and gave you a big hug. You grabbed his waistwith your hands and put your chin on his shoulders.

“What did you get bud?”

You moved your head towards Sam who was standing awkwardly in frontof the coffee table. Your face stayed natural, but from the inside you felt like youwere going to explode. Cass turned the spinner around and stood up to show it tohis dad. Sam was amazed by the colors and they were distracted. You steppedaway from the couch and walked to the kitchen to get a drink.

The kitchen was surprisingly empty. You spotted a bottle of red wine onthe counter next to the left over cake Hermione put there. You opened thecabinet were the wine glasses were supposed to be. They were still there, shiningand pretty. You opened the bottle and got yourself a drink.

“Wow, I can’t believe you,” a voice said behind you.

You gasped and turned around quickly. Sam was looking at you with anatural, but amusing look on his face. His hands were in the pockets of his jeansand you saw his muscles underneath his shirt. He was still good looking, couldn’targue with that.

“Can’t believe what?” you asked with a little tremble in your voice. “ThatI’m here?”

“Well, now I know why Cass wanted to mail the invitations himself. Sothat’s a mystery solved.”

You chuckled, but didn’t leave his eyes.“No, the facts that you still know were to find the booze.”“Oh, it was on the kitchen counter. I just thought that it was for the guests.”“Y/N.”

He took a step forward.“Remember that you don’t live here anymore?”

You sighed and looked at the floor.

“I know Sam,” you said. “I know. It just feels so good being back here and Ijust went on with the flow.”

He nodded and while he talked he grabbed himself a beer from the fridge.“You met Hermione?”You nodded. “She seems nice.”“Yeah.”

Silence. You two stood across from each other; hanging against thecounter. You both took a sip of your drink and didn’t know where to look. Yourempty hand was on the marble, feeling the smoothness of it.

“Sam-“ you started.

“What’s the real reason why you’re here, Y/N?” Sam asked andinterrupted you. His face was serious this time. You knew you had to come clean.

“I just wanted to see my son-“

“Right, your son. Y/N, you haven’t had contact with YOUR son in years.This is bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit!”

“Oh really? No phone calls, no text messages. I left you one a few yearsago. You probably never opened it!”

“God damn it Sam, let me finish-“

“You were the one who left us! Remember?! With that stupid modellooking fellah from your job. How is he by the way?!”

“He left me, okay? The moment we moved out of Riverdale, he met somerich bimbo and knew he couldn’t have a future with a sloppy accountant.”

He wanted to say something else, but he quickly withdrew. Instead helooked out the kitchen window into the backyard.

“So,” he whispered. “How did that feel, huh?”“What?” you said. “How what felt-““THE PAIN Y/N!”He moved away from the counter and used his arms a lot to express his feelings.

“The pain when I figured out you were having an affair with someone else. Did you realize that I had no idea why you would do something like that? To yourfamily?”

You closed your eyes for a second. Of course you remembered the feeling.“At least Hermione has some sense in her,” he said.Your eyes quickly opened again and you looked him in the eye. Sam sighed and figured what question came next.

“Yes Y/N. She was there when I needed someone the most.”He looked down.“When I needed you the most.”You now also stepped away from the counter.“Would you believe me if I said that there are two reasons why I’m back here in Riverdale?” you asked.He nodded slightly.

“Cass is the first one obviously. But the second-“

You slowly got closer to Sam. You saw his hands flinch a little, but nothingelse happened.

“I miss you Samuel Drake.”

You two were just a few inches apart and you tried to look him in theeyes. He avoided your search.

“I miss the time we spent together. The time when I helped you figure outthat puzzle for your brother. The time when we met at Pop’s Diner where I wasgetting take out for the first time in my whole life.”

“And you were so lost,” Sam said. He chuckled even which you respondedto the same.

“All I’m asking is that you forgive me for my sins Sam. You know how thatfeels like, right?”

In a flash his eyes met yours. It was like he was reminded by something inthe past. You were an inch away from touching his skin. You saw the many tinyscars on his face and the glow in his eyes. You two got closer and you were readyfor a kiss until Sam cut it off, abruptly.

“I can’t do this Y/N,” he said while walking away from you. “I can’t do thisto Hermione.”

You sighed. “I understand, I’m sorry.”“It’s okay.”Suddenly you heard the ringing of a mobile phone coming from the corner of the kitchen. You two looked at each other confused, but out of curiosity youchecked it out. Warnings of Sam aside you found the source. It was coming froma very expensive looking purse. It had Hermione’s name on it.

“It’s your wife’s,” you said.“Well, technically she’s not my-“You raised an eyebrow at him.“Forget it,” he said. “Anyway, I should probably get her. She expected a phone call after all.”“Okay, I’ll stay here and get a refill.”

Sam chuckled when he spotted your empty wine class.“Don’t go too crazy tiger.”He walked out of the room. There was no way you weren’t going to check out miss Mary Sue’s purse. You zipped it open and found the phone immediatelyon the top of her stuff. The screen showed a missed call and three messages.

Did you get it?Hermione, I’m waiting.This is taking too long. Did you get the artifact from Samuel Drake?

[theawkwardterrier]

Fic roundup 2016

Buffyverse All Work The Closing Distance To Question, Squirrels and Books

Gilmore Girls Heads, Hands

Harry Potter (Enough Misadventures) To Last A Lifetime The Biting Yesterdays In the Neighbourhood As Yourself

Leverage Sanctuary Space In the Gray Light

MCU The Madcap Underground Withdraw Their Shining The Job At Hand This Bright Future Homemakers Stand Together Burdens Had The Question At Hand All the Days Woman Borne With Gentleness and Time Duty Bound Like Gravity

The Newsroom A Rousing Debate

Veronica Mars Untitled celebrity/fan AU The Blown Job

1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?: Considering I didn’t write a damn word for nearly half the year, much much more. I was super surprised when I did a “last 20 fics” thing in October-ish, and found that they were all in 2016. And I also feel like I actually got a decent balance between longer oneshots, little snippets, and at least one decently sized (for me) chapter fic. It also helped that I got less anxious about asking for prompts, and people were nice enough to step up and give them to me.

2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?: I never ever would have expected Steve/Peggy and the MCU to take over my life and my writing as completely as it did. I have literally no concrete memory of how it happened, but suddenly they were just there, and I’ve found them honestly delightful to both read and write.

3. What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Homemakers. Homemakers. All day, every day. It’s just the right level of fluff, sounds authentic enough, flowed nicely, has humor and sweetness and a solid relationship and a plot but also a bit of a “glimpse into the life” thing. One hundred percent. Homemakers.

4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Started writing Woman Borne even though The Ninety-Nine Percent had burned me out so badly. Finished writing Woman Borne even as I realized that I likely wasn’t equipped to do so. On the one hand, I’m proud of the way I handled the act of writing and posting it- I remembered to finish the whole thing ahead of time, I had it read over at an early stage to see if I should keep going and then had it read when it was complete by someone lovely and knowledgeable, I looked over each chapter before posting and made edits if they felt necessary rather than feeling that what I’d written had to dictate the way it would go- but I don’t think I would write something so heavy and controversial and out of my personal experience like that in the near future. Although the readers were overall lovely, it was stressful as heck.

5. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? Just, keep writing. If I could finish a few of my WIPs, that would be nice (especially the Very Large Cameron/Chase one) but I’m pretty satisfied to take things as they come. I think my experience with The Blown Job this year was actually really helpful to me- it was a fairly old WIP, one that I’d put down as a goal to finish this year, and without even pushing myself to do it, I just picked it up and chipped away at it until it was done. It just needed to rest in my folder and in my brain for a while, and when it was ready to be done, I finished it.

6. From my past year of writing, what was… Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe: I think that things mostly got noticed in proportion to how they deserved to be noticed- Woman Borne is long so it got more, Homemakers is actually pretty good so it got props even though it was shorter- but some of my smaller fics sort of sank without a ripple. Part of it is my fault because I’m terrible at self-promo, so they were posted once on tumblr, and maybe on AO3, but I feel awkward trying to be noticed, which means that they weren’t. I’m tempted to say Head, Hands, which was my first Rory/Logan story in a while; or either of my Parker/Hardison attempts, but in the end I think I have to go with Like Gravity, which was my last fic of the year and my Steggy Secret Santa story. I don’t know if it was weird tumblr stuff or if the unevenness really put people off, but I didn’t think it was a bad story and it just seemed to go gently into the fanfic ether.

Most Fun: I think The Job At Hand. Homemakers came out so smoothly and I really liked writing all the showgirls in Stand Together, but there’s just something about the hilarious frustration of trying to keep Steve Rogers under control.

Most Disappointing: Maybe In the Neighbourhood, which was my first Ron/Hermione story. I think the characterization was okay but nothing stellar, the writing wasn’t spectacular, and the situation was a little basic. Overall, it was serviceable but lacked any kind of sparkle.

Actually, I take it back. As Yourself, one of my Lily/James fics. The idea is good and even the individual elements are good. I’m really proud of the title, too: it refers both to the quote “love your neighbor as yourself” and the theme of presenting yourself honestly. But the pacing is all wrong. I rushed it, and it shows.

Most Sexy: Oh good gosh. For years I have been answering these questions and I have never succeeded in this one. I know that there’s a lot of ways to be sexy. I write fluff and angst and everything in between. But my sexy is like “do the characters make physical contact at any point?” I’d say This Bright Future, most likely.

Hardest to Write: Woman Borne is probably the easiest answer, but although it took several months to write and had a LOT of big things tangled in it, it didn’t feel that hard in the scheme of my chapter fic experiences. I struggled with getting through The Closing Distance- I’ve had trouble with Buffy/Angel stuff for several years- but I was really surprised by how hard Like Gravity was. It was the only Steve/Peggy fic I had a particularly hard time writing, which was especially strange considering it wasn’t an extraordinarily complicated AU.

Most Unintentionally Telling: Maybe the fact that I like Homemakers so much and have reread it so many times. Although is it a reveal if my love for fluff is well known and publicized? As is my frustration re: bread-making. And that part was written with full and vocal intention, so...not sure

Choice Lines:

Harry (so normal; James’s dad would have loved that) looks around, pulling on a gray t-shirt. “What’s happening?” he says eyeing the cauldron, his mother, and James eyeing him.

“Your dad had a little incident,” Lily says. She hands Harry a muffin, shrugging when he looks from it to her. “Pre-incident baking.”

“Alright,” Harry says easily. He takes a bite. “‘M going to Ron’s for Quidditch.” He sticks the rest of the muffin in his mouth and leaves the room as Lily pours some of the cooled teal potion into a glass and sets it in front of James, who doesn’t move for a moment.

“Woah. Didn’t mean to step into the morning after.”

“Well you did, and now you’ve got it all over your shoe.”

“That’s fucking bullshit.” Steve considered adding ‘with all due respect, sir,’ but he didn’t think it would have mattered at that point, and he also didn't think it would be honest.

...Peggy Carter is controlled and capable and brilliant, but the only thing that’s stone about her is the strength of her right hook.

Steve thinks of courts martial and the way Peggy's uniform fits her so easily. His chest feels splayed open. “I'd love to come with you,” he says, the words breathing out of him.

He wants to hug her, to hold her against him, calculated and risky and stunning. Instead he finds her hand where it lies in the sand between them and presses it delicately…

...Steve, eyes downcast, gifts Peggy with a drawing- simple charcoal on lovely, thick paper- of what she recognizes with some surprise as her own hands. One is in a fist, the other spread wide like a shield.

She buys a frame for it and hangs it in her office the next day.

“Shut up,” she says, fierce and polite, and swings him around and kisses him. He’s stunned still for only a moment.

He is, in fact, a frankly lovely kisser.

When she pulls away after a few moments, he stands there dazed, and then mumbles something that sounds like, “Seniority.”

“Oh good God,” Peggy says, and kisses him again. When she’s satisfied he’ll be quiet, she says, “Phillips is ancient and crotchety and hasn’t changed his textbook in twenty-five years. You, meanwhile, let them look at naked art and stand up to their parents and are bloody gorgeous. And even if you were useless, you’ll shut up and take it. I’ve earned this.”

“You really have,” he says, and kisses her this time, his hands smiling on her back. And then, long minutes later, “By the way. Who’s the HR/PR Disaster now?” His voice is glancingly smug, which cannot be allowed.

“That was four dollars worth of ingredients,” Steve says dazedly several hours later. He is coated lightly in flour as if he has forgotten to come out of the snow.

Peggy eyes the lumpy dough creature and says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to shoot it.”

They are two highly capable, mostly rational people. They have wedding rings and work and dinner dates and outings with friends and occasional couple’s espionage. They can cook nearly anything else by this point. There is no reason to be frustrated that they cannot conquer bread.

The next batch comes out of the oven looking perfect. It tastes only and exactly of yeast.

They host Thanksgiving because Bucky’s family wanted Christmas.

There are neat pieces of sushi as appetizers, a huge bowl of excellent mashed potatoes, and three perfect kinds of bread.

The turkey is half raw.

Bucky laughs ‘til he cries.

The girls are leaving first, so Steve stays with them while they pack up, the familiar trappings of the Star Spangled Show disappearing into crates, the familiar faces blurring beneath coats and hats.

The chaperone, Miss Lindon, is staring something fierce at him. (They’d almost driven off a cliff one midnight on a twisty road in California. Everyone else was squeezing hands and praying. Miss Lindon, firm and tidy in tweed, just turned the page of her book with a careful finger.)

He knows that Peggy is ninety-two years old. He knows that she just moved into a new nursing home last week. He knows that she is standing right in front of him, no more than a few years older than when he went into the ice. Dark hair, dark lipstick, dark jumpsuit, and his shield on her back.

Later, watching this Peggy, a shade away from what he knows, he realizes that she reminds him of no one as much as himself, shielding himself from the familiar and the unfamiliar and the memories most of all.

Having someone who understands is a very difficult sort of wonderful.

Natasha is the most off-put by how well Peggy knows them. Her stories have come slowly to Steve, each one a trust-gift. Peggy has her own collection, but for Natasha they are weapons held by someone she does not know.

No one could identify with the loneliness of waking up after the ice like Peggy could, the futile anger of knowing that everyone was gone and it was only him, surviving and surviving and surviving.

The next time Steve sees Thompson, he has fading bruises on either side of his jaw, and actually avoids Steve. As if Steve would hit him if he was just minding his own business.

“-And she said I needed to cut out half my footnotes, even though so much of the good stuff is there, and who doesn’t like extra footnotes? They’re like little knowledge presents!“ Willow finished, turning off the overhead light and enjoying the sound of her slippers shuffling against the carpet. Buffy was still out; she had a midterm the next day and Giles was quizzing her. She held the phone against her shoulder and pulled the covers down.

“Did you check for antennae? She might be a footnote hating alien.” It was the first time Oz had spoken in a while and she could hear the noise of the party the other Dingoes were having, but Willow never worried that he was getting distracted when she talked. The tone he used now was equilibrious as always, but the kind that curved upward a little in her mind and meant he was smiling.

She woke one morning with Steve’s voice, warm and content and loving, full of wonder, still settled over her like a shroud.

There were things that Peggy had not even known she could miss: slicing apples, newspapers, the moon and rain, handshakes, calendars.

There was a tenement sort of grimness to his voice that spoke of gritting teeth through long winters.

He had become less formal in her presence, knees and elbows expanding outward as he sat in a way that made him look somehow smaller, or at least softer.

She gripped at her tea. The all-purpose English remedy, she and Monty used to joke. Apply liberally to anything from gunshot wounds to heartbreak. It didn’t seem to be working.

Peggy reminded herself that she had quite handily survived a world war, and that there was no reason to behave swoonily just because Steve was being very visibly attractive in front of her.

Peggy tried to forget that the world war hadn’t prevented just the same thing the first time around.

“‘‘Twas I who chopped down the cherry tree’ and all that?” It sounded accidentally Shakespearean in her accent despite her wry tone.

Steve grinned in a way that was startlingly unrestrained, making Peggy realize just how much it had all been weighing on him. She hadn’t seen that grin since early 1945, and it was shameful for it to have been hidden so long.

“Fine,” he said, the way he did when things were not fine. It wasn’t that he was lying, but that he hadn’t yet realized that something was wrong.

Steve ran the miles home. The idea of cars felt condensed and awful.

She saw Barton farther down the street, half sitting, half sunbathing on top of one of the fire trucks.

In the bleary dark: “Why have you done so much to help us?”

A pause. “Because I can’t remember a time when I wished someone would help me.”

“Well, Evans, the thing about that man you married- and I love him like a brother and would kill anyone else who said this- is that he’s not very bright and sometimes exists with his head firmly hidden up his arse.”

“Hey, man, respect the skills of others. Maybe I can’t do any of that either, but I laugh in the face of the blue screen of death.”

There’s a feeling in her chest that reminds her of seeing Michael in his uniform for the first time, a ragged beat swallowing her thoughts for just a blank moment, whispering how much it would hurt to lose him.

He tells Peggy this after they’re adjourned for the day. She does not try to build him up or placate him. “They used to bury suspected vampires with stakes in their chests and bricks in their jaws even after they’d died,” she says instead, tilting her chin up at him.

She has the feeling that he’s from the type of family where handshake lessons were given on Monday from 2:30 to 4.

This woman sounds like she could buy and sell him a couple of times over, and he’s not entirely sure if he means literally or metaphorically.

“It’s good. I like it,” and somehow that’s worth paragraphs and paragraphs. It settles around her heart.

But Angel has had a few centuries to get used to how quickly things shift. He has no more lamentations for the eyeblinks that mean a change. Killing a young girl, seeing one on sunlit school steps; these things took seconds and changed everything.

His voice is hoarse and he speaks slowly, but his Russian is perfect, as if the language is something he stored in an attic chest, one he just creaked open to find it pristine.

Because although she has more responsibility than anyone he’s ever known, the weight of lives and lives, she also has her own, and it is such a young one. He wants to be sure that she doesn’t look with regret on these months spent with him, the cliffside love with someone whose life is endlessly futureless.

She’s been missing him all these months, she hasn’t even been tempted, never in all that time, and she’s not totally hideous, so there were some people trying to tempt. But she’s been waiting, it hasn’t even been a question, and he’s apparently been questioning all over the place if he was going to break his word, the last thing he said to her.

She goes Bronzing with the gang. She spends a couple nights hanging and talking with Will, where they dissect Oz’s latest three words, and try once again to figure out Cordelia and Xander, and don’t talk at all about Angel or about how this feels worse than the entire last year because they finally got to choose and they both chose to be apart. She gets a B+ on her English quiz.

Despite herself, Veronica is disappointed. She had wanted the rush from figuring out a puzzle, from outthinking a group of criminals with rap sheets long enough to ride the big roller coasters without a parent. Now she’s facing a woman who’s pulling the criminal equivalent of faking cramps to get out of gym.