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daddyy333 · 2 years ago

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Family Pt.3 | Eddie Munson x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

Word count: 9.3k

TW: LABOR, CHILDBIRTH, CONTRACTIONS, SLIGHT MENTIONS OF DEATH (?), CHARACTER REMEMBERS ABUSIVE EX FOR A BIT, THROWING UP, DIZZINESS, BREASTFEEDING, CURSING, ( plz let me know if I missed anything)

summary: Eddie and the group take care of you as you come out of your abusive relationship and then find out you have a baby on the way

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

“You’ve got to be kidding me” you muttered, hastily slipping your shorts off and throwing them in the laundry. You changed into dry clothes and cleaned up to the mess, gasping when you felt the next contraction. “Holy shit- oww!” You groaned, squeezing the shit out the worn out couch.

You tried the stupid breathe through it method but you were still in copious amounts of pain and you felt stupid, but at least it kept you from being too loud. This was definitely stronger than the ones from before, it made you scared to find out how intense they were going to be at the end.

You let it pass and called everyone you could think of at the moment who knew how to drive, Nancy, Jonathan, Joyce, Hopper, Wayne, and somehow all of them were busy. You heard a knock at the door and groaned, this was not a good time.

“Dustin?” You asked and he smiled. He held up Eddie’s denim vest and said “Eddie left this at my house and since I was passing by I figured I could drop it off” “do you have your permit yet?” You asked and he cleared his throat. You grabbed the vest, threw it at the couch and stood there waiting for an answer.

“I- technically yes, b-but that doesn’t mean I can drive really good” he said frantically and you sighed. You took a deep breath and said “what’s the farthest you’ve ever driven?” “School and back” he said and you rolled your eyes. “Do you know where the hospital is?” You asked.

He nodded, eyes widening as he connected the dots. “Good. I need you to drop me off, my water just broke and all three of them just had to go to grab some food, not one of them could’ve stayed back with the pregnant woman who’s super overdue and could’ve literally gone into labor at any moment and of course, it happens when no one is there to take said woman to hospital and everyone she knows is busy of course. Assholes,” you said, all while going and grabbing the hospital bag, and writing them a note for when they get back.

“Y/n…I-I can’t- I don’t even know how to parallel park yet” he said and you sighed shakily. You handed him the bag and said “it’s either that or you let me drive myself, get into another car crash and have to live with the knowledge that you could’ve just driven the 15 minutes it would’ve taken you to prevent me from having yet another near death experience”

“Okay, but what if I crash the car?” He asked and you groaned. You ran your hands through your hair and said “then so be it. But I am literally having contractions every 5 minutes and am going to push a baby out in the very near future and there’s a much higher chance of me causing a crash than you. Just drive slow, she isn’t coming out right this minute”

You gave him 5 dollars and he handed it back letting out a shaky breath as he made it to your car. You sighed relievingly and got to your room as fast as you could and grabbed your keys, locking the trailer and throwing them at Dustin.

He sighed and got in, unlocking your door and as soon as you were about to sit down, you had a contraction. You yelped softly, grabbing the edge of the door and the hood of the car to keep yourself upright. “Mmh- shit!” You moaned, the pain was really bad, you were honestly contemplating getting that epidural when you finally got to the hospital even if it cost extra.

Dustin jumped out of the car and helped you sit down, letting you squeeze his hand and made sure you were breathing pretty regularly. You whimpered and said “I-I’m…ugh! I’m so-sorry,” “hey, hey it's okay. You never have to apologize for something like this, it’s something you can’t control or make go away, it’s painful and it’s stressful and scary. You just have to focus on the baby and the fact that you’re gonna meet her soon” he said and you grunted, breathing heavily as it got even more intense.

He calmed you down and got the car started, carefully backing out of the driveway. You sighed and said “is your hand okay? I squeezed it pretty hard, I couldn’t help it” “I’m okay, don’t you worry about me. Your main focus is meeting your baby and how soon she’s gonna be there” he said and you whimpered.

“Ohh god that is terrifying. I’ll have a brand new, fragile little baby to take care of and raise for the rest of its life within the next 24 hours” you said, rubbing soothing circles on your bump as you felt her move around a lot.

“You got this. You’re gonna do just fine, plus you’ve got all the support and help you need and then some” he said quietly, focusing on the road more so than his voice. You sighed softly, hoping Eddie would get to you soon, you really wanted him and just wanted his presence and his comfort through the worst pain of your life.

You broke Dustin’s hand to get through the next 3 contractions and finally you made it to the hospital. You changed into a hospital gown, the nurses putting on the monitors and stuff which the baby was so desperately trying to kick off. Dustin came back in and you awed.

“You didn’t have to stay. I’ll be okay, you should go home and get to bed” you said and he sighed. He sat at the edge of the bed and said “and leave you here to have the baby alone?” “Well, the actually having the baby part is probably pretty graphic. I don’t want to scar you for the rest of your life and ruin sex for you before it even happens” you said and you both laughed.

He fiddled with the end of his shirt and said “then I’ll stay until we can get ahold of Eddie or until the nurses kick me out” “whatever, Dustin,” you said and took a deep breath, you were so not looking forward to hours and hours and hours of these contractions.

You waited anxiously for Eddie, those nerves showing as your heartbeat monitor beeped fast, your doctors becoming increasingly concerned. “I-I’m fine…look, I’m about to push an entire watermelon sized baby out of a very small hole, wouldn’t you be nervous?” You snapped, trying to get these doctors to leave you alone.

He took a deep breath and said “I understand miss, I do-” “really? That’s weird, considering you are severely lacking the uterus and vagina you would need to actually understand” you said and sighed, rubbing your bump.

“Just, try to take a few deep breaths and calm down. We’re concerned about your heart rate, it’s a lot higher than it should be” he said and you looked up at that machine. You nodded, maybe 120 was a bit too fast.

“What’s going on? There’s no way that’s just nerves” Dustin asked after the doctor left. You let out a shaky breath and said “I just…I’m fine, everything’s fine” You felt pathetic, you were freaking out all because Eddie wasn’t here? He wouldn’t have been here anyways if you didn’t show up crying on his doorstep all those months ago. In fact you’d probably be in your car right now or in some alley if you hadn’t come back to him.

“You’ve said “I’m fine” so many times since I met you it doesn’t even sound like words anymore. Who are you trying to convince? Because if you’re trying to convince me it’s not gonna work” he said and you wiped a tear away, taking a deep breath as you felt the next contraction coming.

“I-I’m fine….” You said and Dustin shook his head, giving you his hand to squeeze. It just felt so stupid, whining about Eddie not being here. You really were fine, things would just be better if you had him by your side. You felt so safe with him, a security you’d never felt with anyone else.

You made Dustin get dinner and eventually you heard Eddie talking through Dustin’s walkie talkie. “Hey, hey Eddie we’re here” Dustin said and you whimpered. Eddie quickly started talking, you could tell he was nervous.

“Is it true? Is she in labor?” Eddie asked. Dustin sighed and said “yea, yea. I came to drop something off right after her water broke and she forced me to drive her to the hospital” “she had to force you? What kind of asshole are you, she’s literally 10 months pregnant and having her baby and she had to force you?” Eddie said, you could hear the engine turning in his truck and the faint sounds of Robin and Steve talking in the background.

“I barely know how to drive! I didn’t wanna be responsible for killing them!” He said and you chuckled. Eddie came back on and said “can I talk to her?” “Yea, yea sure” Dustin said and handed you the walkie.

“Hey…” you said softly and Eddie smiled to himself unbeknownst to you. He let out a breath of relief and said “hi, beautiful. How are you feeling?” “I’m in a ton of pain. Those stupid books made me think this was gonna be a lot easier, they fucking lied” you said and chuckled.

“Shit- I’m sorry. How far apart are the contractions?” He asked and you groaned, turning over on your other side since you were getting uncomfortable. You sighed and said “5 minutes. To tell you the truth I was having them since last night but they were 20 minutes apart and felt like nothing” “what? Why didn’t you say anything?” He panicked.

“Because, Ed’s. I knew it wasn’t that serious yet. Besides, we’re fine, that was like the very beginning of the process, I didn’t need you shitting your pants just yet” you said and chuckled. He sighed and said “you’re gonna be the death of me. We’re on our way, we’ll be there soon. Keep breathing, make sure you’re breathing, the baby needs that oxygen”

“I know Ed’s, I know” you said and caressed your stomach, realizing this was one of the last times you were ever gonna get to do that. This was the last day you were gonna be pregnant. These were the final few kicks you were ever gonna feel. She was no longer going to be protected in your womb after today.

Dustin went to talk to Eddie outside for a second and you teared up slightly at the realization that the pregnancy was ending. She’s so much safer inside, literally anything could happen to her once she comes out. You hated every single day this last week and a half that you woke up to kicks and looked down at your bump, still there with the empty crib across the room. You’d kill to have one more day of waking up to kicks.

You started crying a little, you really didn’t want it to end. You thought you did, you thought you were ready. Dustin came back in and ran over with concern, wiping the tears away and trying to calm you down. “Hey, hey it’s okay, talk to me” he said and you sniffled.

“I’m fine, everything’s fine” you said and he groaned. He sighed and said “can you please just open up to me about one thing? Nothing is fine, y/n, nothing. So just tell me, tell me what’s going on” “I’m…I just got to thinking and- a-and I realized that this the last day I’ll have her protected in here. Anytime she kicks, it could be the last kicks I ever feel. These next couple hours are going to be the last moments of me being pregnant with her. I’m just…emotional” you said and he shook his head.

“No, no, it’s okay to be emotional about it. This has been your way of life for months, you’ve gotten used to it and grown to love it even when you hate it and now it’s ending, very very soon. Be emotional about it, you’re allowed to be emotional about anything. Just stop holding it all in, that’s all” Dustin said and you took a deep breath, nodding.

You sighed and said “thank you…I’m sorry I just- I-I don’t know I thought maybe it was dumb and I was- oww! Oh my…god!” “Contraction?” He asked and you whimpered. You took a deep breath and said “yea…fuck, it hurts” He shushed you softly and you bit your lip, whimpering through the pain.

Eddie arrived 10 minutes later and you saw him asking a nurse where your room was. Steve pointed to your room and said “there she is,” They all ran towards the room, stopping for a minute to catch their breath. As soon as Eddie wrapped his arms around you, your heart rate slowed down significantly and you felt safe, and relaxed.

Robin, Steve, and Dustin rolled their eyes at the two of you. “Her heart rate was getting so high the doctors were concerned, but the second that he gets his arms around her it’s like nothing ever happened” Dustin said and they chuckled.

“Are you okay? How bad is it? Is she okay? Is everything going according to plan so far?” he asked and you chuckled. You sniffled and said “everyone’s okay, the pain sucks balls and everything is going good so far” “good, good” he said and kissed your head, looking at the monitors for a moment.

“God, I can’t believe it’s actually happening. Feels like we’ve been waiting forever for her to get here” he said and you nodded. You took a deep breath and said “did you eat?” “No, no we panicked but Steve absolutely did not forget to bring it with us” he said and everyone laughed.

You spent some time cuddled up to Eddie, they even brought your pregnancy pillow and you cried some more, realizing you wouldn’t actually need it anymore after today. It was a little funny if we’re being honest, but you were genuinely so sad about it at the moment so Eddie obviously had to comfort you the best he could.

He hated the contractions just as much as you did, really hoping this would go by fast. Most of the books said something like 4-8 hours, but Joyce told you it lasted over 10 hours with both of her boys and you died inside, praying to god you wouldn’t be in labor forever.

Eddie was really good and supportive, breathing with you, rubbing your bump to hopefully at least comfort you, making sure the damp towel on your neck stayed cold, wiping your tears for you, constantly making sure everything was going well whenever a nurse or doctor came to check on you. Steve eventually took Dustin home, and the both of them were being as supportive as they could be as well.

Eddie insisted you get one last Polaroid of you pregnant, which nearly brought you to tears again but you managed, he took one of you in the bed, all teary eyed with greasy hair and under eye bags. Your gown was pulled up because the doctor was readjusting your monitors a moment ago and you hadn’t moved it back down so you could really see your bump and how big it had gotten.

“I can’t wait to look back and see how bad I looked,” you said and chuckled. Robin chuckled and Steve said “you don’t even look bad, besides you can look however you want you’re practically on your deathbed at this point”

It really did feel that way, it’d been 3 hours since your water broke and you’d only dilated from 3 centimeters to 4 which meant you still had a long time to go. Robin had fallen asleep on one of the couches whilst the boys made sure you were staying calm and you weren’t stressing too much.

You felt so tired already, the pain making you feel exhausted even though you’d only been laying here the entire time. “Are you sure you don’t want the epidural?” Steve asked and you groaned. You were facing him, your hands holding onto the handles at the top of your hospital bed in anticipation of the next contraction.

“The epidural costs more than the fortune I’m already gonna pay. I can handle the pain for a few more hours, especially if it saves me money” you said and he sighed. He crossed his arms and said “you’re also exhausted and in desperate need of some sleep”

“Nooo. No you two are not tricking me into it, absolutely not. Plus, the epidural is so damn scary if you think about it. I won’t be able to feel anything, I literally won’t be able to feel my legs at all. I’ll have to piss in a goddamn bag because I won’t be able to control anything. And there are a lot of things that can go wrong, because they are shoving a needle into my spine or whatever they do” you said and sighed, moving onto your back.

They rolled their eyes and you chuckled, rubbing your bump to soothe her restless movements. “Oh- shit, she needs a name” you said and Eddie scoffed. He ran a hand through your hair and said “you just now thought about that?” “I mean- no, no I just…oh god, what do I name her? She’ll be stuck with that name for the rest of her life, it has to be a good one” you said and Steve shook his head.

“What about…Ozzy?” Eddie said and you rolled your eyes. You sniffled and said “I’m serious. Actual name suggestions, please” “Abigail” Steve said and you shook your head. You sat up, grabbing a napkin from the fast food place the three of them ate from and started writing down name ideas.

So far they’d suggest about a thousand but you only really felt like 5 of them could suit her. This was way harder than you expected. Robin woke up and got mad that everyone let her sleep when she should be here for you, but lord knows you’d be sleeping if you could.

She had some slightly better suggestions but you were getting nervous about it, you had literal hours until she was here. Speaking of which, you were examined again at the 5th hour of your torture and you had dilated to 5 centimeters so you were halfway there.

“I can't wait for it to be over” you said and chuckled as Eddie did a goofy little dance to celebrate the halfway mark. Robin yawned and said “you and me both” “Rob, if you wanna go home, you can” you said and she shook her head.

“No, no you’re having the baby I have to be here” she said and you chuckled, watching her fight sleep so hard. Your contractions got stronger, closer together and started lasting a little longer, so you were having to focus more on managing the pain than anything. You were scared to get to the end, and potentially have them less than a minute apart.

The boys were getting more anxious at the difference and were exactly sure how they could help. At this point you had to get out of bed and walk around for a minute, everything ached and the overall pain in your body was unbearable. You’d never experienced anything like the pain in your pelvis and hips, now that the baby was trying to squeeze it’s way through you were starting to think twice about getting the epidural.

Walking didn’t do much but it kept you from getting to nervous, the moving around distracted you and kept you busy in between the torture contractions. It kept Eddie, Steve, and Robin and their toes, because these contractions were so strong they nearly brought you to your knees a few times.

It only got worse from there, after 8 hours of labor you were 6 centimeters dilated with nearly 90 second long contractions. The doctors were slightly worried, they were lasting a lot longer than normal, but as long as you thought you could handle it they concluded it was safe for you to keep going. It was really getting to you though, because they got to 3 minutes apart and they were really starting to radiate down to your upper thighs, making it harder to stay on your feet.

“Eddie- Ed- ahhh!” You groaned, trying to grab onto him but you couldn’t help it as you fell to your knees, one hand nearly crushing the I.V pole and the other on your stomach. “Hey, hey, relax…it’s okay, it’s okay…breathe” he said as you sobbed into his chest.

The others were right there by your side as well, trying to calm you down. You whimpered and let out a yell as it got more intense. “ugggh! Ed- ahh! I-It hurts!” You cried, struggling to breathe. He kissed your head and said “hey, hey can you look at me?”

You whimpered and he cupped your cheeks, softly encouraging you to look up. You gasped, the pain spreading to your back as he tried to breathe with you. “ooooh! mmmh!” You moaned, sobbing softly as you buried your head back into his chest.

He let out a shaky breath, he’d never wanted to see you struggle this much to even breathe. He rubbed your back, helping you take the best deep breaths you could. Between your sobs and the pain it was hard.

It slowly faded away and you sniffled, letting a few more sobs. “It’s okay, y/n, relax. Keep breathing with me, you got this. Can one of you grab her water?” He asked and you took a few sips. You took a few deep, shaky breaths with Eddie before he slowly helped you to your feet and you sat on the bed for a moment, trying to catch your breath as you recovered from the intensity of the last contraction.

“You’re doing so freaking good, you know that? You’re freaking incredible, seriously. Just over here making an entire baby and getting ready to squeeze it out of you like it’s nothing. You are the strongest person I will ever know, I hope you know that” he said, wiping your tears and caressing your bump softly. Robin sat behind you and massaged your back gently, working wonders on the sore muscles.

“It hurts…” you whimpered and he kissed your head. He grabbed your hand and said “I know it hurts, but you are managing the pain so well, and you’re very good at making sure you're taking deep breaths and staying calm. You’ve done so well making sure that you’re little one is okay and she’s gonna come into this world as healthy as can be, and you’re going to be the best freaking mom in the whole galaxy. I know it”

You got off the bed, standing in front of him and wrapping your arms around him. You sniffled, letting out a shaky breath. He teared up slightly, you hadn’t let him properly hug you in years. He held you tight, rubbing your back softly and just holding you like you wanted.

“W-What…What if I’m- I-I’m not a good mom?” You asked and he sighed. He rested his chin on the top of your head and said “I doubt that very much, but say that’s true, we’ll work on it together. I’ll help you figure it out. I’ll step in for a while if you need me to. Joyce will surely guide you and teach you all the things neither of us know. You got this, y/n/n”

You sighed softly, closing your eyes as you focused on the sound of his heart thumping softly in his chest. You stayed that way for a few contractions, burying your head deep into his chest as you focused on breathing through it and not letting it take complete control over you.

When hour 12 hit you were questioning if this was gonna end well. You were so tired, each contraction draining every last bit of energy you had. The three of them were doing their best to support you but you were just so tired and you needed some sleep.

You were on the birthing ball, Robin sat behind you and Steve in front, whilst Eddie went for a smoke after you insisted he take a break for a second. You could feel the baby’s head, and every little movement she made and you honestly didn't like it, and it creeped you out a little. But at least you know she was close and this was almost over, thank god.

“Ok, here it comes. Deep breath, relax” Robin said and you hummed softly, leaning forwards as you breathed through the pain. “You're doing good, you got this” Steve said as you squeezed his hands, whimpering softly.

“Hmmmm….ohhh god, ohh god,” you said, the pain more intense and spreading to your back and thighs again. Robin made the towel cold again and placed it on your neck, rubbing your back gently.

“You’re good, you’re good, focus on your breathing” she said and you whimpered. You moved one hand to your stomach, your jaw dropping as a tear fell down your cheek. Steve wiped it away and you let your head fall into the crook of his neck, whimpering softly from the pain.

“Almost there, just a little longer…you’re doing so good, you got this” Robin said and you winced, squeezing Steve’s hand harder. He smoothed your hair back and said “relax, relax it’s okay,” you whimpered through the rest of it and it finally faded away, leaving you a little lightheaded.

“Mmm…kinda lightheaded…” you said and Steve got up fast, rushing to press the nurses button. Eddie happened to come in at the same time and you mentally slapped yourself because they were all about to lose their shit.

“Is everything okay, why’d you call the nurse?” He asked and you groaned. You started bouncing softly on the ball, trying to make your labor go by faster but obviously your body hated you and was taking it’s sweet time getting this baby out of you.

“She said she feels lightheaded” Robin said and the nurse came in, realizing the I.V bag just needed to be replaced and you should feel better in the next half hour. But, before she could even say anything Steve, Robin, and Eddie were freaking out and asking a million questions at once.

“Is she still gonna be able to avoid the c section?” “Is this the start of a serious complication?” “Is it affecting the baby?” “She can still have the baby the way she planned, right?” “Does this mean she won’t be okay to push?” “Is she gonna pass out?”

“Guys!” You groaned, rubbing your temples as a killer headache attacked you. The nurse chuckled nervously and said “it’s okay, I understand that your friends are just concerned for the safety of you and your baby. She should be fine to continue her labor and have the baby the way she planned, the I.V bag just needs replaced”

They all sighed relievingly and you stood up, making your way to the bed so she could do it properly without you moving. Eddie sat next to you and Steve and Robin sat on the little couch, genuinely betting on how much longer you were gonna be in labor for. Steve said the rest of the week. Robin said the rest of the month.

You chuckled and Eddie rubbed your back soothingly, pressing a kiss to your head. “Are you doing okay?” He asked and you sighed softly. You knew what he meant. He was asking if the fact that you were having Adam's kid was hurting you more than having the kid itself. Of course it hurt, you would kill for this to be anyone else’s baby, but you loved her too much to change anything about her. She’s not even here yet, but you wouldn’t change a single thing. Even her biological father, because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter to you, all you care about is making sure she has a good life.

“Yea, yea I think so” you said and he nodded, smiling a little. The nurse finished what she was doing and you sighed, laying down for a bit to let the I.V meds work for a bit before you got back up again.

It didn’t do enough though, because by the time you were 8 centimeters you were struggling massively. You couldn’t catch your breath, 90 second contractions that were 2 minutes apart making you nauseous and lightheaded, even laying in bed. You were so tired, and you couldn’t think straight between the overall pain in your body, the contractions, the overwhelming urge to push.

God you hated this, you wanted to push so bad but the doctor said you couldn’t push before 10cm, and if you did it would cause complications and possibly require the c-section. You were not gonna let anything force you into a c-section, because after 15 hours of labor and contractions you were determined to not let that work go to waste, even if it killed you.

“Mmh- mmh fuck I’m gonna throw up” you groaned, covering your mouth as you look around for something to throw up into. Robin placed the trash can on your lap and you gagged, throwing up into the tiny little trash can. Eddie held your hair as Steve rubbed your back, worrying because you were due for another contraction in less than a minute.

“Shit…” you groaned, wiping your mouth as you sat back, panting softly. “Quick someone bring me mouthwash before the next contraction” you said and Steve ran to the hospital bag, you’d probably throw up again if you sat with this nasty taste and smell in your mouth.

Eddie pressed the nurses button and you groaned, leaning onto him slightly. You got the mouthwash in time just before you got the next wave of torture, the contraction nearly making you pass out. You probably would’ve thrown up again and really passed out if that taste was stuck in your mouth.

“Okay, okay Ms. y/l/n we’re gonna need you to calm down. You’re almost at the end, but you’re gonna have to really work on your breathing, and managing the pain. If your condition continues to get worse we’ll have to consider c-section. You’re getting weaker, and you’re most likely going to struggle during the birth as it is, so we have to make sure you’re strong enough” the doctor said and you whimpered, letting out a shaky breath.

Robin caressed your hand soothingly, all of them getting increasingly worried about you. You sniffled and said “how…how c-can I stop myself f-from getting worse?” “Just make sure you’re hydrated, we’re gonna get you a stronger I.V, and keep breathing through the pain. You’ve got to keep yourself from stressing out too much, that stress will increase as you get closer to delivering the baby and could cause complications” the doctor said and you nodded softly.

He left and the three of them really stuck by your side, even more than they had been for the last 15 hours if that was possible. Steve was making sure you had water, Robin was letting you break her hand and Eddie was breathing with you, also letting you break his hand as they all just did what they could to help you.

The contractions got down to a minute apart and by the time you hit 10 centimeters you wanted to give up. You’d been in labor 16 hours and you were so exhausted. You couldn’t stop crying from the pain, and you were really struggling to breathe with how close they were and how long they lasted, they were damn near right on top of each other.

“Okay, unless you are dad you’ve got to go…I’m sorry it’s just hospital rules” the doctor said and you looked at them worriedly. “Hey, hey don’t panic…you’re gonna do just fine, you got this. 10 months and 16 long hours of pain you've been waiting to meet her. You’re gonna do just fine, we’ll be waiting for you in the waiting room the entire time” Robin said and you whimpered.

You looked at Eddie and he took a deep breath. “I can tell them that I’m the father. I’ll put my name on the birth certificate and everything” Eddie said quietly and you sniffled. You chuckled and said “that’s p-paternity fraud, Ed’s. Besides, I-I’ll be fine, don’t worry”

“But it’s not illegal…just kinda fucked. Maybe they’ll let me stay if you beg hard enough. You’re the one squeezing a kid out of you, not them. I promise, I won’t look, I’ll just be here to support you and hold your hand” he said and you nodded, a few tears roaming down your cheeks.

You felt the next contraction coming and you whimpered, balling his shirt up in your fist. “Mmmh- aahhhh! I- I have to push!” You cried, burying your head into the pillow. It was hard to hold back, when it was the only fucking thing you wanted to do.

“Alright, everyone has to be out of the room now,” the doctor said and Robin and Steve said goodbye, whilst you whimpered in response. You grabbed Eddie’s arm and he cleared his throat, looking at the doctor. He grabbed your hand and said “i-is there…any way I could stay with her? It’s…complicated, but the baby’s father isn’t in the picture and I’m the closing thing she has to family”

“Alright, but the other two have to stay out. I can't have too many people in here, it’ll get overwhelming for her whether she realizes it yet or not” the doctor said and he nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. He sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and grabbing your hand with the other one

“I’m here, okay, I’m gonna be here with you the whole time. You’re gonna do so good, this baby will be here before you know it” he said and you hummed softly. The doctor sat at the end of the bed and you put your feet in the stirrups, at least there was a cover on your lower half so that only the doctor could see.

You let out a shaky breath and she said “okay, on the next contraction you can push. We can count to ten and you push until we get down to one or you go as long as you can with 10 second breaks in between. 1 or 2?” You chose 1, it’d be easier if you had all the guidance you could get.

“Okay…here it comes, here comes the next contraction in a few moments, get ready to push” the doctor said and Eddie caressed your hand softly. You whimpered and he said “don’t think too much. Trust your body and let it do it’s thing, you were literally made to do this, so just trust yourself, okay?”

You nodded and less than a minute later you were regretting all of your decisions. You should’ve had that damn c-section. This baby was going to tear in half. God, it fucking hurt and even with the effort you were putting in they couldn’t actually see the head after 5 pushes. She was moving, just not far enough.

You had pushed your way through 2 contractions (which might as well have been 2 minutes long now) and was barely making any progress. You felt tired, whatever was happening down there hurt like a bitch but since they couldn’t see any part of the baby that obviously meant it was only going to hurt more.

“Okay, okay, breathe…it’s okay, breathe” Eddie said and you took a few sips of water. You were starting to get frustrated, how much could you possibly do before you reach your limit? He took a few deep breaths with you and the doctor said “you’re going to have to push harder, okay? She has moved down a bit, but if you push harder we might able to having you crowning by the end of the next contraction”

“That’s uh…that’s when you guys can see the top of her head, right?” Eddie asked and the doctor nodded. He sighed softly and you whimpered, placing a hand on your sore stomach. He wiped your sweat away and said “think you can do it?”

“Mhm” you whimpered, letting out a few small sobs. You pushed through that next contraction, almost as hard as you could, but it wasn’t enough. It took 20 minutes for you to get the head out completely, which was pretty fast for having your first baby but you were giving it everything you had left because you just wanted to finish so badly. You did listen to the doctor's guidance and pushed softer when you needed too because you really didn’t want to tear, but when you could you were giving it your all to get her out.

“Oh my god, you hear that? She’s almost here, she’s so so so close” he said and you whimpered. More tears streamed down your face, you could feel the baby moving into the position so you could push her shoulders out and it hurt so bad, you were so sore and in so much pain and her moving didn’t help.

“I-I…I can’t…ca-can’t do it” you cried and he caressed your cheek, trying to encourage you to keep doing cause you really had no choice at this point. “Hey, hey don’t say that. You are so strong, y/n, you made and are pushing out a freaking baby right now. You’re so close, you’re almost there, you got this, okay?” He said and you winced, the next contraction coming already.

“mmmggggh! ohhh- agh! mmh- mmmh- uggggh!” You groaned, pushing as hard as you could, this kid felt like a full sized adult trying to snake its way out of you. Your pelvis felt like it was gonna break, you were probably gonna tear in half trying to get this 50 pound baby out of you.

It took a lot out of you to get the shoulders out, and you were nearly left unconscious after. “Hey, hey one more push, come on, please you can do it. One more push, y/n, one more” he said and you sobbed, bearing down and pushing as hard as you could.

“10…9…8…7…6- ooh! She’s here, she’s here mom. 10:49am” the doctor said, you had never felt panic like this in your life. Your daughter wasn’t crying, and doctors were scrambling to figure out what was wrong. “N-No, no…no this c-can’t- this can’t h-happen. I-I can’t lose her- I- I can’t! I don’t w-wanna lose h-her I don’t wan-wanna lose my baby” you cried, burying your head into his chest as he was now sitting on the bed slightly and it was the comfort you needed.

“Hey, hey don’t panic. She’s gonna be fine, everything’s gonna be fine…” he said and kissed your head, worriedly looking over at the doctors and nurses surrounding her. ‘Please, please don’t do this to her. I’m begging you, don’t take her away, she needs this’ Eddie prayed, Eddie never prays. He generally doesn’t care much for the religious stuff, but he’s praying to everyone he can think of right now.

“Eddie…” you whimpered and he let out a shaky breath, tears filling your eyes. The doctor cleared her throat and said “don’t panic, mom…she just needs- ah! Ohh, there you are,” That cry. Oh god, that little cry. You had never experienced relief like that in your life, hearing her first cry was the best moment of your life.

You sobbed into Eddie’s chest, a few tears coming from him too. You layed on the pillows, throwing your head back and panting softly, you could finally relax. Your daughter was okay, and you weren’t the most excruciating pain ever due to contractions, besides the absolute hell that was happening between your legs. You could finally breathe, you swore the baby was pressing up against your ribs on purpose.

They cleaned her up and placed her on your chest, you gasped and let out a few more sobs. Eddie closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to yours as you both cried together. You sniffled and he said “you’re so goddamn incredible. You did so good, I’m so freaking proud of you. I- oh, god you are literally a god, I mean you created life”

You chuckled softly, looking at your precious girl, whimpering softly as she got used to everything and her cries died down, looking up at her mother with the cutest y/e/c eyes ever, which were totally yours. Oh, that little face was so cute, she certainly was a cute newborn.

“T-There’s no- n-no way the thing I-I just pushed out…w-was this small,” you said and he chuckled, kissing your head and placing a hand over your left one which was on her little back. You kissed her little head and said “look at you, cutie. Hi…I’m your mommy” “and I am your badass uncle Eddie” he said and booped her nose, making you giggle.

You spent a few moments with your little angel, watching her look around and figure out what her tongue was and move her hands up to touch her face. She was just so cute, you didn’t want to let her go, but you had to for a little bit.

You needed to deliver the placenta, which was just a few gentle pushes and then get cleaned up and stuff while they gave her a few vitamin shots and weighed her and ran some tests and things like that. You weren’t enjoying the uncomfortable afterpains that were helping your uterus shrink back down, but they were nothing compared to the pain of the contractions from before.

Once you and the baby were settled and you were both okay the nurse brought her back in she was in a swaddle now, squirming around in a little hospital crib. You insisted Eddie go home, get some breakfast and some sleep now that everything was over. But of course he refused, and instead you sent him to go get breakfast and a coffee.

The nurse showed you how to get her to latch and although it was painful, you felt so overwhelmingly happy holding your little girl in your arms, watching her little hands move around and grab at you, her little eyes staring up at you.

You were exhausted and desperately wanted some sleep, but that didn’t matter when you had this little bundle of perfection in your arms. She cooed softly every once in a while, suckling eagerly for the milk. “Relax, sweetheart. It’s not going anywhere, I made it specially for you” you said and chuckled to yourself, running your hands through the little bit of hair on top of her head.

She looked a lot like you, with y/e/c, y/h/c, a lot of her facial features were more like you, especially her little lips. You kept all of your baby pictures after your parents passed, and you and Eddie had been looking at them a lot, trying to get an idea of what the baby would look like.

That was definitely your daughter, there was no denying that. Eddie, Steve, and Robin came back in and you pulled up the breastfeeding cover the nurse got out of your diaper bag for you, chuckling at the slightly awkward situation. “It’s okay…it’s natural, she’s gotta eat, right?” Steve said and you smiled a little, nodding.

“How was it?” Robin asked, they all seemed a little more energetic, they probably napped and had had coffee by now. “Painful. Listen to me when I say this, if you ever decide to have kids someday, don’t. Or let your girlfriend have them if she’s willing. Steve, if you ever get anyone pregnant I’ll kill you in your sleep. You too, Eddie” you said and they all chuckled.

“Seriously though, are you okay?” Steve asked and you sighed. You sniffled and said “it was…a lot. I mean…she’s small but I really struggled, I couldn’t have done it if she was any bigger. I’ll probably be sore for the rest of my life, but I’m breathing way better than I was when she was still in there kicking up a storm at my ribs. She uh…she was struggling a little to breathe at first…she wasn’t crying for at least a minute so uhm…I don’t know what that means for her health and stuff but besides that she’s okay. She’s perfect”

“She’ll be okay. She’s certainly a strong girl, just like her mom” Eddie said and you chuckled softly. You moved the blanket slightly to look at her and she had unlatched, now looking around a little and you chuckled.

You winced, your eyes glossing over as you slipped your bra back on. You button the hospital gown up again and move the cover, throwing the burp cloth over your shoulder and gently patting her back. Robin gasped once she could see her, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that you made that thing.

Once she was burped you let them hold her. Well, Eddie insisted that “I have to get a polaroid of you holding your baby girl that you so amazingly created with just your tiny freaking body and just spent nearly an entire day in labor and 30 minutes of pushing for”. You chuckled, smiling softly as he snapped the picture. She cooed and you looked down at her, she was slightly milk drunk and was squirming around in her swaddle. He snapped another picture and then the 3 that were with you at the moment got to hold the precious bundle of joy.

Robin was up first, she was really excited and you knew her little overactive brain would burst if she had to wait any longer. “Holyyyy crap. My god, you’re so tiny. Look at that little nose, oh my god! You’re so adorable,” Robin said, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you to make sure she couldn’t drop her. Steve said “Smile!” And took a picture of Robin holding her.

She then carefully handed her to Steve and he chuckled softly. “Hi…oh my goodness look at these little hands. You even have tiny baby fingernails oh my god I’m gonna pass out” he said and you smiled, it was so crazy to think that you and everyone you know started out that small.

“She’s especially tiny, even after being overdue she's 6 pounds and 9 ounces. Usually babies who are overdue are almost 10 pounds, so I’m actually kind of glad she still stayed in those extra 2 weeks, if she didn't, who knows how small she would’ve been” you said and Steve awed, kissing her little head.

“Don’t you worry, angel, the whole family is gonna keep you so full you’ll never know what hunger feels like, and you’ll always be nice and healthy, that’s a promise from Uncle Steve. Uncle Steve doesn’t break his promises” Steve promised and you wiped a stray tear away. You were so glad she was gonna grow up with all these people in her life to support her, raise her with you, and help make all of her biggest dreams come true. This is all you could’ve ever dreamed of for your baby when you first found out you were pregnant.

Eddie got a picture of them together and then Steve passed her to Eddie. She was getting a little sleepy now, but seemed a little excited when Steve placed her in Eddie’s arms. She stretched and adjusted for a moment, making him panic slightly but she quickly nuzzled into his chest and he gasped, looking at you. You smiled and said “well she’s liked you since the very beginning. You’ve always been her favorite, you always will be”

“She’s so freaking precious…” he said and she cooed, gripping his shirt softly. She was slowly drifting off to sleep and you smiled, Steve took a picture of the two like that and you were so glad that you were gonna get to keep these memories with you forever.

Since she was napping, Eddie carefully put her in her hospital crib and insisted you get some sleep. You took a long nap, and since he was sure you’d be okay with it Steve and Robin went home and he got some sleep on the couch in the room. A well deserved nap, considering you hadn’t slept in 48 hours and you just pushed a human out of you.

The baby started fussing and crying ever so quietly but it was enough to wake you up. She had slept a whole 4 hours, apparently being born was pretty exhausting for her considering you were expecting that nap to last 2 hours at most.

You carefully brought her to lay on your chest, caressing her back softly with your thumb. She stretched a little, completely pushing her little hospital blanket off which made you chuckle. She had on a diaper now, so did mind letting her be all bare and stuff as long as she seemed comfortable.

“You just wanted some attention, huh?” You said and she cooed, squirming around slightly. You laid back down, doing some skin-to-skin bonding with her. She squeezed your thumb and tried to suckle on it a few times, which made you laugh.

“Hey…” Eddie said, walking up about a half hour after you. You smiled and gently waved her little arm as you said “hiii,” He chuckled and said “when did she wake up?” “She was being a little fussy and it was enough to wake me up but she just wanted some attention. I certainly don’t mind” you said and kissed her head.

“You got a name for her yet?” He asked, getting up and walking over, handing your water bottle to you. You sighed and said “I think I do actually…Noah y/l/n” “ooh, I love that. I really love that. That is so- sweetheart do you know you have the best freaking mom in the world?” He said, the last part obviously directed towards the baby.

You kissed her head and said “it just seems kinda like her…plus I like the name a lot,” “it’s perfect. Absolutely perfect” he said and you smiled.

Eventually you fed her again and then took another nap, finally eating around lunch time and then everyone visited. “Hi…” you said and chuckled. Everyone attacked you with love and support, Joyce and Hopper being like the mom and dad you wish you still had.

Eddie finally went home for a bit, showering and making sure everything was good since you two were being discharged tomorrow afternoon. “How was it? Was it hard for you, or easy?” Joyce asked, holding Noah in her arms. You sighed and said “pretty effing hard. I was in labor about 17 hours, and she may look tiny but she certainly didn’t feel tiny”

“Trust me, I know. Will was barely 7 pounds and I thought I was giving birth to a damn basketball” she said and caressed Noah’s cheek. Everyone had even brung little gifts for you and the baby, it was so cute. Eleven was very excited to hold her, she sat down next to you and asked a ton of questions about her.

“She’s very adorable,” Eleven commented once she was done asking questions. You smiled and said “thank you. I made her myself” “I hope I get to give Mike this kind of thing one day. A family, a marriage, a normal life” she said and you awed. You pushed her hair behind her ear and said “you will, El. Don’t worry. You two will make some cute little babies. Not yet though, okay?” “I know, I know” she said and smiled, using her powers to spin a little toy in the air for the baby to watch and play with.

She liked Dustin a lot, suckling on his (freshly washed) fingers, cooing up a storm. “How the heck did you fight this whole baby inside there?” He asked, it was honestly insane. You shrugged and said “magic?” “Yea no kidding. I cant wait to be her favorite. Once she’s old enough to stop chewing on everything in sight it’s over for everyone, Uncle Dustin is gonna get her all the coolest toys” he said and you chuckled.

She started getting fussy when Hopper held her, but he gently placed her on his chest and comforted her, she even fell asleep on him. Thankfully he held her last, and it was really cute to see such a big manly man carefully hold your tiny little newborn daughter. His hand was literally as big as her, it was the cutest thing. Thankfully, Eddie had brought enough film in the hospital bag (like the weirdo he is) and you were able to get a picture of everyone holding Noah for the first time.

“Thank you for driving me here…I can’t remember if I said that enough” you said as Dustin stayed after everyone left. He smiled and said “yea, yea of course. Sorry I made such a fuss about it. I was really worried I was gonna hurt this precious face” you chuckled and said “it’s okay…I probably would’ve freaked out too,”

Wayne came in a little while after Dustin left and you fed her again. You gasped, thanking him for taking the time to come in and see you guys. “Eddie told me you had the baby, I just had to come by and meet her. Feels like we’ve been waiting forever” he said and you smiled, hugging him as best you could with the position you were in.

“There she is…” you said, pointing to the little hospital crib. He chuckled and said “Ohh, she’s adorable. She got a name?” “Noah” you said and he nodded, caressing her little cheek with his finger. He smiled softly and said “are you okay? I remember the day Eddie was born his mother just about wanted to die” “I’m good, I think. It took a long time, but she’s here. My whole body feels so sore though, I can’t imagine people who have twins or triplets and don’t die” You said and he chuckled.

“She’s perfect, y/n. Absolutely, perfect. Totally her momma’s twin” he said and you chuckled. She cooed softly and stretched a little, wiggling around and then falling right back asleep. “You can pick her up if you want. She’ll probably go right back to sleep, she’s pretty milk drunk” you said and he gladly scooped her up, bouncing softly.

You quickly grabbed the camera and snapped a picture, Wayne rolled his eyes and just looked back at her again. He smiled and said “you did good, sweetie. You’ve got a very beautiful daughter” “I like to think so…” you said and he kissed her little head.

He stayed for a bit longer and then decided to head home and you had dinner and fell asleep. Eddie came in later that night while you were sleeping, checked on the baby and tucked you in a little. “So fucking proud of you,” he mumbled, kissing your head and heading over and sleeping on the couch.

Eventually I’ll be writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

So just dm me the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

Taglist: @and-claudia @local-bxbby @this-is-mycrisis @silky-luxe @youcantseem3 @natashaashleymarvelromanoff @kellysimagines @readsalot73 @whoahoney @xxhospital-for-soulsxx @qardasngan

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #friend!eddie munson x mom!reader

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yelenassecretlover · 3 years ago

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300 followers wlw matchup event :D [closed]

Thank you all for always being so supportive and sweet :’) y’all have my whole heart and thanks to you always motivating me I’ve been able to explore my love for writing i am so grateful to all of ya 🥺💕

As a show of thanks I’m doing a match up event 😏🤚🤚 using information you send me about yourself I will partner you up with an AOT girl (look below for rules and girls you could potentially be paired up with 😏🤚)

Reblog plz 😳😳💕😖🤚

Rules

To participate you have to send an ask with your user visible so I can confirm you follow me ^^ cus it’s a followers only event 🥸💕

Deadline is Jan 31 so I can post it by Valentine’s Day 🥰 a cute lil something something <3

Send me a good paragraph or more about yourself and personality~ whatever you think will best help me match you with the character

Based of your answer I’ll match you with someone, give you all the reasons I think you would be a good match and write a small sfw drabble for your match up <3

😏🤚have fun submitting below is a list of the girls you could get:

Mikasa

Ymir

Historia

Annie

Rico

Petra

Nanaba

Sasha

Hange

Pieck

Yelena

#attack on titan #aot x reader #matchup event #yelena x reader #mikasa x reader #ymir x reader #historia x reader #annie x reader #rico x reader #petra x reader #nanaba x reader #sasha x reader #hange x reader #pieck x reader

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botwstoriesandsuch · 4 years ago

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[Image ID: A screenshot of an anon asking saying “I just wanna say that your tags whenever you rb art and fics are so cute 🥺 you reblogged something of mine the other day and the tags were just so nice and innocent??? It’s like watching a little kid at an aquarium 😝so as an artist I thank you, hope you don’t take it as cringy” End ID]

- - - - -

Cringey?? nonononono I may be a young kid watching the pretty fish swim aimlessly in the aquarium but I will

recklessly enjoy other people’s content don’t test me

I try to keep it in the tags cause I don’t wanna take away from the op’s original work, plus it makes it easier for other people to rb it from me, but I will amp up the love and appreciation when the situation calls for it. You could straight up come into my inbox or messages and just ask me to give you a reblog and I will do it, I do not care I love you, content creators.

Cringe Culture is dead it’s time to gush plus if I do this often enough people might do it more for me so it’s a win win hehe

Legit, I got a super sweet comment on one of my fics quoting something I wrote and it made me so happy so I was like “huh, guess I’ll do that more often then” and now I’m doing that, that’s how impressionable I am asdfghjk

Also hello?? specifically *my* tags helped you out?? I am a nobody, CLEARLY not enough people are doing this smh, allow me to teach the masses for a sec here

How To Make A Content Creator Happy: the world’s simplest guide to spreading serotonin through a keyboard

Step fucking one) You reblog it. I mean, that’s a given. You’ve all seen those “reblogs help creators out and likes do nothing” posts so I won’t rant too much. Likes are good, but reblogs are like handing someone a stack of a hundred dollars and all it takes is one click!

(PRO TIP: Hold down the button and swipe for mobile, and hold the left alt button and click once for computer [though it will only rb to your main blog. if you want it for a side-blog then you’re stuck with two clicks but HEY two clicks to help out a creator you like is nothing!])

You share it! Just share stuff. Share the ao3 like, please do it. Don’t repost, don’t just mention it, give the links especially when you’re just in conversation or talking about it around plz I swear it does wonders

Ok moving on to the super simple stuff for commenting and putting stuff in the tags because I guarantee that the op will read them

write A N Y T H I N G and I literally mean anything just fucking:

!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sdjflksdjfkjh

?!?!?!?!!?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghhhhhhhhh

:OOOOOOOOO

prettyyy

<33333333333333333

just fucking go ham, go nuts, it doesn’t need to be coherent it just needs to EXIST the very existence of someone enjoying someone’s content gives so much serotonin so stop being silent cowards and give us a smiley face from time to time

uh what else what else....hmm [golden rule is treat others the way you want to be treated, so if you’re a creator yourself, just give whatever you would want seen in the comments of your stuff! I mean that’s how I came up with all this...]

Point out the details! I mentioned earlier about quoting stuff from fics (that stuff is just 👌👌👌 so delicious) but I’m pretty sure (I’m not an artist myself don’t quote me) that the exact same effect is present when you talk about details in art or something. So talk about that pretty snowflake in the background! Or that piece of dialogue that made you laugh. Just a simple nod to the details is a big difference between saying “I like this” versus “I like this thing that you took the time to make the effort you put into the details did not go unnoticed”

just ALL the feedback please and thank you

this might vary from person to person, though personally I love when people are like “The way you write imagery is so good please do more!!” so just give a little nod to someone like “The way you draw this character is amazing please do more” or something like that

I wouldn’t go as far as to give criticism (although personally I’m the type of person that loves the occasionally critique for future reference, cause it means that you care as much as I do about the quality of my work)

But along the same lines as the details thing, a nice nod to a creator about what they’re doing right is sooooo good! makes the butterflies flutter

~~~~~~Did that post give you emotions?~~~~~~

G O O D

~~FUCKING TELL US~~

THE ACT OF SOMEONE WRITING A SET OF LETTERS, OR SOMEONE SKETCHING A BLOB MADE ANOTHER DISTANT HUMAN BEING DEVELOP CHEMICALS IN THEIR BRAIN?? SURE WOULD LOVE TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE WOW THAT’S AMAZING!?!??

just go “I’m so happy” or “I’m so sad” just “TT__TT” just fucking “:OO” or just “I hate this” [HUMOURISTICALLY] and “I can’t believe you’ve done” just give it yes tell us the emotion that you have felt we love it

I don’t think enough people understand how amazing that is???? You were once in a normal, neutral state, and then a piece of content that I created just made you smile or laugh or cry like WHAT that’s amazing omg

Ok so that’s pretty much the simple stuff right, that’s your elementary classwork right there

Just give something, literally anything and just go “I love this so much!!!!!” bam done, you just murdered the op with your love, great job

So yeah, that’s that. Pretty simple stuff, no?

...but you wanna graduate to master class?

You wanna fucking go ape shit

you wanna just

g o t o town?

I said this was gonna be a simple guide so don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell you that you have to write a full length essay on every post that you come across

[BUT IF YOU WANT TO DON’T LET ME STOP YOU THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE AMAZING?? HELL WRITING OUT A PARAGRAPH OF A COMMENT IS ALREADY JUST *CHEFS KISS* MASTERCLASS OF MURDERING THE OP WITH LOVE JUST ANALYZING THE SHIT OUT OF THE COLORS AND SHADING AND FRAMING OR JUST POINTING OUT THE THEMES AND SUBTEXT AND CHARACTERIZATION --part of the reason I love betaing stuff so much because I can analyze shit and shower it with premature love while also helping fics to be even better than they were originally ugh so cleansing for my literature heart-- SO YEAH GIVE CREATORS A PARAGRAPH, DARE I DREAM OF PARAGRAPHS, BECAUSE WOW YES PLEASE YES]

...ahem anyway

the way to graduate from good to great as a receiver of content is

to do all this

any of this

any of this simple stupid amazing shit

and just

put it in an ask or message

that’s literally it

Let me tell you why that’s so amazing, it pumps up the already amazing dopamine dosage of these actions alone, and multiplies it by a hundred, let me tell you why

Let’s say you read a drabble. You loved it, you reblogged it, you gave it hearts and emojis and ranted for a few tags about how it made you drop your muffin on the ground. Fantastic work, you just made the op pass out.

Then you go about your day and that’s the end of that.

BUT

if you do all that

and then put it in an ASK

dare you even a direct message?? (probably not most of us on here are cowards I get that)

but an ASK, anon or otherwise?

The message you just sent to the op was “I interacted with the post you made, and I loved it so much that I went the extra mile of going to your blog to make extra extra sure you understand how much I liked your thing”

There’s a wordless wall with every post! You like and reblog the thing and move on with your day.

But the fact that YOU sent a HEART a SINGLE sentence about how you liked a thing? the fact that you BREACHED that wall and just fucking keyboard smashed in the inbox? the fact that you did that is the most amazing thing in the world

you just ambush the op with good vibes. we were expecting the bare minimum in the comments and tags, but the fact you when out of your way to make it a message or ask???? superb, outstanding, the sheer SHOCK of it will shift tectonic plates

you’re my fucking hero if you do this. you’re a godsend. I would kill for you,👏people👏would👏kill👏for👏you.

AT LEAST THEY WOULD KILL FOR YOU IF THIS ACTION DIDN’T ALREADY MURDER THEM

BE A MURDERER, NAY, A SERIAL KILLER. MURDER CONTENT CREATORS WITH LOVE

BE RECKLESSLY KIND AND LOVING YOU PIECE OF SHIT, ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE CRINGY TO STARVING AND DYING WRITERS AND ARTISTS WE WILL TAKE IT ALL GOD DAMMIT

YOU ARE A CHILD STARING UP AT AN AQUARIUM IN WONDER.

MAKE YOUR HAPPINESS STIR THE TIDES, LET YOUR PRESCENCE BE KNOWN PAST THE REFLECTION OF THE GLASS.

THE FISH ARE LOOKING FOR YOUR SMILE.

#I had to write this post in ANTI-ADHD format so that people would actually pay attention to it so apologies to the neurotypicals #IMPORTANT #👏give👏content👏to👏content👏creators👏#cause unlike for you guys the content we want doesnt need to be the highest quality #we just want a sentence about how it made you feel is that too much to ask?#just one keyboard spam plz #idk what else to tag this as #its 1 am and i have thoughts #art #not botw #writing #i just realized the analogy of fish and creators is a bit weird #i dont mean to imply that our entire existence relies on your feedback #i mean it kind of does #BUT #we're not animals and we don't OWE you content #so uh #all the more reason to give people a heart every now and then right?#this is getting a bit ranty #i'll leave before i embarrass myself further #long post

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the-worst-fe-player · 4 years ago

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Dimitri for the character ask thing? :)

Sorry this took a while tumblr decided to crash instead of posting it right when I was almost finished sorry

Favourite thing = everything. But for real probely how much he try to do his best even if it isn’t the best thing. Like take the end of azure moon when he was going to spear el only killing her after it was clear there was no saving her and like honestly there was no real reason to save her yes dimitri rembers there childhood but it’s clear at that point el doesn’t and even then she invaded his homeland and is the reason god knows how many people died and had that meet up which was just a big fat yikes across the bored yet he still wanted to save her. the there his supports with flayn ingrid Ashe Mercedes I could go on the further show how amazing of a quality it is and how it will make him an amazing ruler and I think the end of am Murl shows that with him with the children and many others

Least favourite thing = probably the byelth worship but tbh I have that problem with pretty much all house leaders I just don’t get it mabey because I never had to beat real ships with my teachers but yeah

Favourite line = “I am certain I will be hearing them until the day I die. But I will not cover my ears. I will go on living... and their voices will serve as a warning”

I love this line while it’s sadly looked behind a s support it shows dimitris growth as a character the voices with no longer control him yet they will also never go he goes on the live an successful life dispute it all and it’s one of my favourite lines because of that. Also on a personal note while the voices I hear and the delusions I face are nothing like dimitris they still scare me and I often don’t feel like I’m in control of myself sometimes so seeing someone even if it’s a fictional character that’s like me still thrives gives hope you know

Brotp = Claude lol. like no offence to those who do iv just never really seen it but I would love to see them just hang out there personality pre time skip are so different that there could be funny stuff and post time skip seeing them re kindle that friendship and help join almyra and fodeln together meaning claudes dream can come true even in am

Otp = dedue I’m a sucker for prince / most loyal dynamic anyway but I think they would be so cute with each other and the ship dynamic can go from angst to fluff (tho I prefer the fluff lol) tho tbh I kind of ship dimitri with a lot of people like I multi ship a lot of three houses

Notp = I got two el even if you ignore the whole is it incest thing I still wouldn’t like it. (Trigger wanring for sexual mental and physical abuse next bit please skip this part if uncomfortable ) felix. My first introduction to this ship was an untaged abuse fic on a03 that had felix rape and physical assault dimitri in an attempt to save him. And so many of these ha ha felix edgey while in love with dimitri isn’t that funny that he’s saying how much he’s hates everything about his husband and wished he was dead or a better persons posts like it’s straight up verbal and mental abuse like as someone that was mental and slightly sexual (I was pressed into having sex) it makes me fucking sick to see it and because of that iv grown to hate that ship and will only look at it if a muatal that I trust reblogs or make the content because it can be good but it scares me you knao. Like I’m not saying wiring bad things is inherently bad fuck iv written stuff about my own experience in a way to vent and we can’t exactly not write about bad things because that can make good story arch it but there’s a fine line between I’m writing this and it’s clearly a bad thing to isn’t it so romantic I’m not gonna tag any of this so suvours will see this and be reminded about how we see the thing that fucked you up cute

Random headcanon = The sort of guy that can wear shorts and sandles in the snow

Unpopular opinion = the pre time skip hair isn’t that bad yall just mean 😭

Song I Associate with them= Achilles come down it’s my favourite song and just listen plz

Fav pic = this cipher art

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd

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weasleydream · 4 years ago

Text

Operation swan song

Here is my participation for @hp-imagines-07 writing challenge! Once again congrats love 💜 My prompts were “I don’t care!” “But I do!” and “Is it that bad?” “Yes.” (I’ve taken a bit of liberty and changed them a bit but they are still here... for the little story I had completely forgotten them and I had to put them at the last moment)

TW: mention of torture

As usual feel free to like, comment, reblog and enjoy!

(Also I’ve recently reached the 500 followers and I’ve organized a writing challenge that you can find here! Plz don’t let it flop 😂 )

Masterlist

(gif not mine)

Everyone is different, everyone acts different. Some people cry while some others laugh, some run while others walk. Some use their head while others use their fists. I liked to think I was the kind of person that was like Remus when I was the complete opposite. He was the head and I was the fists. I was as reckless as Sirius and as impulsive as James, but with a heart as big as Remus’ and a love and an admiration for my friends as unconditional as Peter’s. The only priority I had ever had was to make sure this little group I called my family was safe, whether it was from Filch or a Death Eater. You attacked them, you attacked me; that was something I had made clear since the end of the first period of our first year at Hogwarts. Maybe I wasn’t very convincing at the time - James still used to laugh when remembering the time I had threatened a fourth year who had made fun of Remus, only because with one push from the boy I had ended on the floor - but I had never been afraid to defend them and they had never been afraid to defend me.

And now that school was definitely over for us, now that we were adults, now that James and Lily were going to be parents, the mission I had decided to complete had taken more sense than ever. In my mind, if someone had to take all the responsibilities for James, Lily and the baby they were awaiting, for Remus, Sirius and Peter, then I would do it without hesitation. I would give my life for all of them, as much as I knew they would do the same for me. And now that the war was here, now that the prophecy had designated James, Lily and the baby as targets for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I felt more than ever the need to make sure they were safe. Everyone knew this, everyone including Albus Dumbledore.

_ _ _

“Professor Dumbledore, as much as I’m happy to be back here, I believe you didn’t ask me to come only to propose to me some acid pops, am I right?”

Dumbledore folded his hands on the parchment that was spread out on the desk. His blue eyes were fixing a point on the paper, and he fixed the spot a few seconds before clearing his throat and eventually looking at me.

“You’re right, miss Y/L/N. It is for a way more grave matter that you’re here today. You probably know the Order is in a delicate position.”

“A delicate position? With all due respect, we’re being killed one by one. I don’t call this a delicate position, I call this being near from the end.”

Dumbledore sighed, a sadness all but habitual emanating from him.

“I know that, miss Y/L/N, and I believe you would do anything to prevent the Order from reaching its end, right?” I stayed silent, because we both knew the answer and I was beginning to understand where the conversation was going. “You want to protect your friends and their family, right?”

“What if you got to the point?”

“I need to stay one step ahead of Voldemort, and I need you to help me with that.”

“How- what- how could I help with that?” I stuttered, truly taken aback with what Dumbledore was implying. “Don’t tell me- do you want me to infiltrate the enemies’ camp?”

“That is not exactly what I want. I need you to spy on them, they must not know about you.”

Dumbledore’s piercing blue eyes were almost burning holes in my forehead as I was looking down, trying to process all that it meant. I had the unpleasant sensation that every word had been carefully chosen and that the old man knew that by insisting on my devotion for my friends, he would ensure that my answer would be positive. But spying on the Death Eaters? Even for me, it was a lot. More than a dangerous move, it was a suicidal mission, and if the thought of dying to protect baby Potter wasn’t scaring me that much, thinking that I would have to leave my friends and more especially Remus was making my heart ache painfully.

“Is that your plan?” I whispered. “The only thing you’ve come up with to save us all?”

“Who said it is my only idea? And this is not a plan, miss Y/L/N, only a proposition. You don’t have any obligation.” His eyes still on me, Dumbledore slowly raised his hands to fold them underneath his chin. Somewhere behind him, his phoenix moved.

“A plan, a proposition, I don’t care what we call this. You need someone to send among the enemies and you want me to do it, that’s the same thing.”

“Will you do this, yes or no?”

“Of course I’ll do it.” I muttered before leaving the office with the sensation I had just been manipulated.

It was late at night and the corridors of the school were empty. There were probably a few students out of their dorm - Merlin knew only a few years ago I was part of them - but I didn’t see anyone, and I took the occasion to wander in this familiar place. I stopped in front of a window on the second floor that was overlooking the entrance courtyard. A girl and a boy were sitting next to each other on a bench. They looked like they were looking at the stars. Suddenly, the boy got up and grabbed the girl’s hand and they began to dance to an unheard music, maybe the music of their hearts, I thought bitterly as I looked away.

Maybe it was the weight of the upcoming mission that would very probably kill me, maybe I was just being sensitive because I was alone in the dark, but I was regretting the days I would be in this girl’s shoes and Remus would be in the boy’s. How many nights had we spent here, on that same bench, looking at the same stars? Our thing wasn’t to dance but to share stories, legends or gossip. We would stay here for hours, only coming back to the dorm when the sky took a delicate orange shade. And we would never talk about these nights, greeting the other in the morning in the same way we did with our friends, we would avoid questions and the other’s eyes for the day before doing exactly the same a few days later.

I had always thought I would have a lifetime to figure out what my feelings for him were, but only now did I realize my lifetime was desperately short.

_ _ _

Lily opened the door carefully before smiling broadly.

“Y/N! I didn’t know you were coming!”

She stepped aside to let me in. As soon as the door was closed, she threw her arms around me. When she let go of me, my eyes fell on her barely visible bump and a whiff of courage invaded me.

“How is the baby?” I asked.

Lily’s eyes brightened and she began to babble on about how she wasn’t sick anymore, how James was adorable with her (“But still an idiot.” she stated with a little smirk), and how cute was that little stuffed stag she had found. We were now sitting in the small kitchen, the both of us holding a welcomed cup of tea. We were in January, the air was freezing, the sky was always so dark yet Lily and James’ little house was still so warm it made you feel like home. To be fair, it felt like it was also ours as Sirius, Remus and I used to spend a lot of time here. Peter was a bit less with us, he was working on a personal project which, in my opinion, had something to do with the Order. He seemed more invested than before, and we were all glad to see he had finally been able to fight his fear.

“Y/N, listen, I didn’t want to tell you but… The boys are worried about you, and I am too. We all agree on the fact that you’ve acted strange last week and- well, you know you can tell us everything, right?”

Lily’s eyes were so full of worry that I felt guilty for making her feel such a negative emotion.

“Lily, don’t make a big deal out of it, it’s no good for the baby. I swear everything is okay.” I smiled, an expression that looked everything but convincing, which I realized as soon as Lily frowned.

“Now I know something is definitely wrong.”

“No, really, I told you-”

“Hello there!”

James entered the kitchen, his smile widening when his eyes caught mine.

“Hey Y/N/N, I didn’t know you were coming!”

I smiled broadly and got up before wrapping my arms around him. When he joined Lily to kiss her, Sirius and Remus appeared at the door, the both of them greeting me in the same way James had done. When Remus’ hands touched my back, the memory of us on this courtyard came back and I shivered. Quickly stepping back, I pretended to be cold and ended up in Remus’ sweater. James had insisted for Lily to stay with us in the living room and had brought more tea, and now we were all squeezed on the two couches, sharing not really pleasant news.

“Lily, Y/N, did you know about the rumour that’s going about the Order?” suddenly asked Sirius.

James looked up, and I felt Remus tensing next to me.

“What rumour?” asked Lily, genuinely confused as to why the three boys looked so grave.

“It says that Dumbledore would have given a suicidal mission to a member of the Order.” declared James. “As it seems, it would be a spying mission. Not even undercover.”

“I don’t know who has agreed to do this, but they must be crazy.” muttered Sirius. “There’s no way they are coming back.”

“For me, things are different now,” said James while placing his hands on Lily’s little bump, “but even a few months ago I wouldn’t have done something like this.”

“But why not undercover?” asked Lily. “I mean we already have a few members infiltrated, but why not another?”

“I guess that’s because the infiltrated members of the Order aren’t close enough to You-Know-Who.” Remus spoke up. He was frowning and absent-mindedly playing with the end of his shirt’s sleeve. “A spy would be able to hear the most confidential things. If they aren’t killed before, of course.”

I shifted uncomfortably. Of course they were talking about me without knowing it, but the way they were bringing this up was making me realize how insane I had been to accept this. But the worst was that seeing Lily in such a state of worry without knowing for who she was scared, hearing Sirius mumbling that the poor guy would be a hero, yes, but a dead one and James adding he wouldn’t like to be in their shoes, seeing Remus sighing and closing his eyes as if he was already mourning, all of this made me wonder how they would react.

“Y/N, are you feeling well?”

Sirius’ voice almost made me jump, and I realized all of my friends were now looking at me. I felt my blood becoming ice in my veins while my heart was beating way quicker than it should.

“Yes- yes, don’t worry.”

My shaky voice didn’t convince anyone, of course it didn’t, and it only made them suspicious.

“Y/N,” began slowly Remus, his eyes not leaving mine, “would you happen to know who is going on that mission?”

As soon as the last word left his mouth, I saw in Remus’ eyes that himself had read the answer in mine. His expression didn’t change, but his eyes, usually so clear, were darkening more and more as the realization of what it meant was sinking into him.

“Y/N?” asked Lily, her voice sounding so far from me I almost missed it.

“I am. I am going on that mission.”

The heaviest silence I had ever heard took place, and it stayed here for so long that I began to wonder if I had turned deaf. I was now looking down, I didn’t want to bear Remus’ gaze nor did I want to know how the others were reacting. After what felt like hours, a sob crashed the silence and Lily left her place to throw herself on me. Her tears were soaking my sweater and her hands clenching its back.

“You can’t do that!” she cried out. “You’ll be killed! You can’t!”

Her hair was all over my face and I couldn’t see the boys, but I had felt Remus leaving the couch.

“Why the hell did you do that?” exploded Sirius.

Lily jumped and James put his hands on her shoulders before pulling her in a comforting embrace. If his face was closed, Sirius’ was expressing so many things at the same time that I couldn’t put my finger on what he was really thinking. Anger, fear, disbelief? If he was probably feeling all of this, all I could see was that he was furious.

“Are you crazy? Y/N, you will be killed! Killed, you get that? Did you even think about it?”

His voice thundered, making me feel the urge to disappear.

“Sirius-”

“I knew you were ready to do anything to end this fucking war but this? You’ll never get out of this!”

“I don’t care that much!”

“But I do!”

“Sirius, please-”

“We go to Hogwarts, now. I need a word or two with-”

“I did it for you! Is it that bad?”

Obviously none of them were ready to hear this. Lily stopped crying after something that sounded like a squeal and Sirius stopped dead in his track, his hands having almost reached his jacket. The both of them along with James were looking at me with round eyes, and only at this moment did I realize the door was open and Remus wasn’t here anymore.

“What the hell does that mean?” murmured James. “Yes it is that bad! We don’t-”

“The Order is losing, James!” I exclaimed, desperate to prove my point. “We need more informations, Remus was right, infiltration isn’t enough!”

“But why you? Y/N, the Order has members stronger than you, trained Aurors! Why did Dumbledore ask you to sacrifice yourself?”

“Stop talking like I was already dead. Can’t you consider the fact that maybe I’ll get out of this alive?”

In fact, I wasn’t considering it either. I just didn’t want to admit that if Dumbledore had asked me, it was because he knew I would be easy to manipulate. Suddenly realizing I was standing in the middle of the living-room, I sunk back on the couch and put my hands on my face.

“Listen…” I began, my voice trembling. “You know as well as I do that we’re losing. James, Lily, you are threatened! I can’t let anything happen to you or your baby, not now that you’re reaching the happiness you’ve always wanted. And the both of you, this little baby, Sirius, Remus and Peter, you are my family, I love you all so much and- and I can’t let anything harm my family.”

I looked up to see that Lily had tears streaming down her face. I smiled at her, a very little smile that broke my heart as much as it seemed to break hers.

“I’m sorry Lily, really.”

“I know.” she nodded quickly before wiping her tears away. “You should go and see Remus.”

With the feeling that my knees were going to give up on me, I got up and crossed the living room under the weight of my friends’ eyes. I pushed the door that was already half open and stepped outside, the freezing air making me almost gasp as I looked for Remus.

“Remus?”

My eyes weren’t tricking me… Remus was nowhere to be seen.

“Remus!” I screamed.

Sirius stormed out, closely followed by James and Lily.

“Where is he? Where did he go?” I cried out, completely panicked as the worst scenarios were playing in my head.

“Calm down Y/N/N, I’m sure he’s okay.” said James.

He nodded toward Sirius who disappeared without a word in a soft pop that disturbed the silence of the night.

“Come on Y/N, let’s get inside before we freeze on the spot.” murmured Lily, both her hands on my shoulders.

I sighed to give myself an impression of composure and nodded, following the couple inside. My thoughts were all about Remus. What the hell was he doing? And what the hell was he thinking? James and Lily made a point of making me stop thinking about him and asked me about my meeting with Dumbledore.

“He knows how to do, this old bastard.” muttered James. “I can’t believe you fell for this.”

“I know…” I sighed. “I know but he isn’t completely wrong either. Maybe I’ll be able to catch the information that will save us all.” I added with a bitter chuckle.

The door opened suddenly, and Sirius’ silhouette appeared. As it seemed he was alone, and he cut our questions short by lifting his hand.

“He’s outside.”

I immediately got up and stormed out of the house. Remus was sitting on the low wall at the end of the garden, giving his back to me. I slowly approached, my feet making the snow screech and my breath forming a small cloud in front of my face. My eyes were humid and at this point, I didn’t know if it was really because of the cold. However, I saw Remus’ hand moving and patting the wall next to him after a short hesitation. I joined him and we sat in silence. An air stream colder than the others made me shiver.

“Are you still cold?” asked Remus with a quiet voice.

I nodded and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“Come here.”

I moved closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, already feeling his warmth radiating between us. The time seemed to have stopped, it was just the both of us and the snow. My mind was haunted by so many thoughts I couldn’t think straight, and all I was conscious of was Remus’ presence next to me.

“What did I do to end up with such foolish friends?” he finally asked quietly.

“We aren’t foolish,” I murmured, not wanting to break the little world around us. “We just love each other.”

“So that’s why you accepted? Because you love us?”

I lifted my head and met Remus’ eyes. They were full of pain and of worry, and how I hated seeing those eyes! I looked away, unable to face what I was imposing him.

“Y/N, please, look at me.”

His hand found my chin and I faced him again.

“You are my family.” I whispered, and as a single tear was rolling down my cheek, I leaned in his touch. “I love you all too much to let anything happen to you. I- Remus, I love you.”

Remus smiled, a tiny smile that made my heart flutter. I was feeling like a teenager who is breathless because she’s madly in love with a boy.

“I’ve been to Hogwarts.” he suddenly muttered. “I wanted to make Dumbledore change his mind, but this- well, he refused.”

“I won’t change my mind either.”

Remus grabbed my hand and kept his head down, his eyes locked on our hands.

“I know that. I just… I don’t know. I asked him to let me go with you-”

“You what?” I exclaimed, my heart suddenly racing in my ribcage. “No! Remus, no! I won’t let you! If I have to tie you myself-”

“He refused.”

It was a simple statement, but I sighed and closed my eyes, relieved. Another silence took place only to be disturbed by a rumbling coming from the depths of my stomach and a chuckle coming from Remus’ mouth.

“We should get inside and give you something to eat.”

I precipitately jumped off the wall and rushed toward the door, extremely ashamed as I had just realized I had confessed my feelings and Remus had just ignored them.

“Hey, Y/N!”

He grabbed my wrist, pulled me against him and crashed his lips on mine.

“I love you too.” he whispered against my mouth, and at the moment I was so happy I forgot every kind of threat.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

To say the last three days had been weird would be an understatement. Lily had insisted that I shouldn’t stay at my place and Sirius, Remus and I had ended up staying at the Potter’s. We still hadn’t any new of Peter which, more than worrying me, was also saddening me. The atmosphere was tense, it felt like all of us, me included, were already mourning my death. Of course, it wasn’t my friends’ intention, they had done everything to hide their worry, each in their own way. Lily, who had never really been able to cook, had made the most delicious plates I had ever eaten, even better than James’ mother’s, which I had had the chance to try a few years ago. James and Sirius had spent their time looking for informations in files stolen from the Order which had resulted in them not saying anything for hours before resuming their discoveries during the meals. Remus had shared his time between helping them and staying with me, holding my hand or chatting about anything not Order-related.

We had also received Dumbledore’s visit, who had given me all the instruction for my mission. Except the fact that he was there for what would probably kill me, it was quite funny to see the almost exaggerated glares he had received from everyone, but especially from Sirius and Remus.

And now, here I was, standing in the living-room, a backpack at my feet and holding back my tears as I was ready to leave. Remus was waiting outside but the others were here, and the first one to come to me - or jump in my arms - was Lily. She tightened me against her and was trying her best to contain her sobs.

“Promise you’ll do everything to come back, Y/N, do you promise?”

“Of course Lily. I’ll try, I swear I’ll try.”

She nodded and stepped back, sniffling. James nodded toward me before looking away, trying to hide his fear and sadness. Far from being offended, I nodded back.

“I count on you to take care of them Prongs, yeah?”

He nodded again.

“Only if you take care of yourself.”

It was my turn to nod.

I had thought Sirius would have the same reaction as James but he proved me wrong when he pulled me in a strong embrace, a bone-crushing hug we had never shared before.

“You better come back.” he muttered, his voice muffled by my hair. “There will be no place for mistakes. We can’t lose you.” he added in such a small voice that it broke my heart.

The lump in my throat prevented me from saying anything but we didn’t even need words. At the moment, I could feel their love for me, and I knew deep down that I couldn’t give up on this. I knew I would come back because we still had so much to live all together…

A whole new courage flooded in my veins and I smiled at them before grabbing my bag and getting out. Remus was sitting on the same wall as the last time and I joined him. This time, he lost no time and pulled me against him.

“I suppose they have already told you you better come back?”

“It was pretty clear.” I let out a watery chuckle.

“So I’ll just tell you I love you.”

Remus rested his forehead against mine and we both closed our eyes, enjoying this proximity. Then we shared a passionate kiss, a kiss that held so many emotions it was overwhelming. It was a kiss that meant I love you, I’m scared and See you soon. It was a kiss that meant Goodbye but also a kiss that meant Hello because at this very moment, I felt like I was re-discovering Remus, as if I was seeing and feeling a whole new part of him, and I knew he was feeling the same.

“Useless to say I don’t want you out of here, right?” I murmured against Remus’ lips.

“It would put you in danger. No, I’ll stay here, but know that everyday my eyes won’t leave the door. I’ll be waiting for you.”

I grabbed my bag which I had left on the floor and sighed.

“Guess this is it…” I said. “Time to go.”

“Y/N, please, make sure this is not your swan song.”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

It wasn’t my first mission for the Order. I had already fought against so many Death Eaters I had lost count, and I had two infiltration missions under my belt. But I had never been that close to him, to the wizard that was killing my friends one by one and threatening my family. And never in my life had I even suspected such an army. The enemies were everywhere, they were young or old, men or women. Everytime I turned my head, I saw new faces, new enemies, and it was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. Yet I was doing quite well; in fact I had barely been spotted and the few Death Eaters that had found out about me were now dead. For three months, I had managed to stay alive. However, the more the weeks passed, the more I had wondered if that was worth it. I hadn’t heard anything, absolutely anything that an infiltrated member of the Order wouldn’t have heard.

I knew they were suspicious, all of them knew they were spied on and that was probably why they were being extremely careful when they talked. That’s why, after three months, I began considering the idea that I could try and get in one of their reunion places. However, I had made a promise to Remus, to Sirius, James and Lily, and I wanted to do my best to keep it. I didn’t want to put my life in danger more than necessary and it felt like a suicide to try such a thing.

What decided me was a conversation that I overheard between two Death Eaters one night, at the corner of a street in the heart of London.

“-in Malfoy’s manor tomorrow.” said the first. “As it seems, it’s pretty important.”

“More important than interrogating the Auror we’ve had last week?” asked the second. “What can be more important than that?”

“I’ve heard it’s the prophecy.” My heart almost stopped beating. As far as I knew, there was only one prophecy that could interest Voldemort. “The Dark Lord wants to decide on a plan to eradicate this threat.”

Then the Death Eaters disappeared, leaving me trembling in the street. A plan. To eradicate a threat. Which happened to be James and Lily’s baby. There was no way I would let that happen. I had now two choices: going back to Godric’s Hollow and warn them but miss the plan, or staying here and listening to what would be said. Apparating was too dangerous, anyone could follow me and that would threaten my friends. Suddenly, I realized that after all the time that had passed, Lily’s bump was bigger by now, and imagining her taking care of her child, James always fussing over her, Remus and Sirius and maybe even Peter with them made me take my decision.

_ _ _

I thought the plan was good. Not perfect, obviously, but good enough so that it wouldn’t end up with me being killed. Now, after having dodged dozens of green flashes of light blasting toward me, I was forced to admit that I had screwed up.

I was hiding behind a statue in the corridor, trying to catch my breath as the Death Eaters were getting closer and closer.

“Find her! She’s Dumbledore's spy, I want her alive!”

Voldemort’s voice thundered and the screams in the manor doubled in intensity. Apparating was impossible and I had to reach the front door to try and maybe - just maybe - hide long enough to leave this hell.

Suddenly, and that caught me completely off guards, my wand escaped the grip of my hand. I gasped, slowly realizing what it meant, and turned my head only to gasp once more, this time because I couldn’t believe it.

“Peter?” I whimpered.

Peter was here, in front of me, one of his hands holding my wand and his own wand pointed on me.

“You shouldn’t be here!” he squealed before looking above his shoulder, obviously terrified.

“You- you- Peter, we thought you were- I don’t understand…” I stuttered, unable to process that he was a traitor.

“Y/N, what are you doing here? You’re complicating everything!” he lamented.

Then I understood and I felt the urge to strangle him, to kill him because he had betrayed us, his friends. I was going to jump toward him when I felt a burning sensation in my back and everything became black.

_ _ _

“Crucio.”

The first thing I felt when gaining back consciousness was agony. It wasn’t even pain anymore, it was a fire in every bone of my body, magma flooding in my veins. It was the urge to rip my skin off and to end it as soon as possible. It was torture.

“Will you tell us who you are?”

I didn’t answer, and the agony came back.

“Are you from the Order?”

No answer. Agony.

“Did Dumbledore send you?”

Nothing. Agony.

“What informations have you already transmitted?”

Agony.

“Do you know the Potters?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Agony.

“Where are they hiding?”

Agony.

“How did you get in the manor?”

Agony.

“Y/N, I’m going to help you.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Peter didn’t listen. I didn’t know what was happening. No one was here except us. He did something and suddenly the ropes around me were on the floor. He tried to grab my arm and I shifted. I fell on the floor.

“Don’t touch me- you traitor, don’t-” I hissed.

Peter ignored me. He half carried me. We arrived outside and it was dark. Then the world became black and coloured again and we weren’t in front of the manor anymore.

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

One last world I didn’t understand, then black.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The old man’s eyes were sad, their usually piercing blue was now shining with contained tears. The young woman in front of him wasn’t containing her tears. She was sobbing in the arms of her husband who was trembling. Then the two other men. One of them fell on his knees, his hands in his hair as if he wanted to yank them out. “Y/N, please, make sure this is not your swan song.” he had said. The other was frozen, his fists so tight his knuckles were white.

The old man left. A few seconds of shock, then the four of them disappeared.

Remus couldn’t care less if a muggle saw him. He crossed the barrier and arrived in the hall of St-Mungo’s. Not bothering to ask where she was, he rushed in the stairs and gained her level.

“Where is she? Y/N? Y/N, where are you?” he screamed.

Three nurses arrived, begging him to calm down. Remus ignored them and asked where she was. Once, twice. The nurses eventually gave up and indicated a room.

Sirius was just behind him, James and Lily were still in the stairs, but Remus didn’t care. He had to make sure- he had to see her. This couldn’t be true, obviously Dumbledore was wrong…

She was sitting on her bed. Her skin was almost as white as the sheets, except for the scars and bruises that seemed to cover her body. When Remus slammed the door open, her head snapped toward him and she smiled brightly, a beautiful smile Remus hadn’t seen in years.

“Hello!” she said. “Who are you? I was thinking about the swans’ songs. Beautiful, don’t you think?”

Remus’ heart stopped beating, and his world crashed at his feet.

Dumbledore was right.

Y/N had lost her memory, and he had lost her.

#Harry Potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #Remus Lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x yn #remus lupin imagine #angst #marauder era #marauders imagine

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wreckofawriter · 4 years ago

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I just hit 3.2k followers and I am baffled. This is crazy, I cannot thank you all enough for supporting my work.

As a celebration I am doing a writer challenge thingy! Bellow I have a list of prompts for my fellow writers to choose from if you want to participate.

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~Rules~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

Take up to two prompts from which ever categories you want. They are first come first serve I will cross them out when two people have taken it

Send me a message or ask of the prompt(s) you are using and the character (can be any fandom and doesn't have to be reader insert)

Reblog this post (plz i don't want this to flop)

Tag me in your finalized fic

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~Angst~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

1. "Its not that complicated. He's just a terrible person."

2. "I hold grudges cuz they're all I have left."

3. "Can't you see I'm in love with you?"

4. "Its pathetic, I can't believe I still care."

5. "How can you love them? After everything they've done?"

6. "Go on then! Leave! I don't need you anyway."

7. "I know you did your best, but it's just not enough."

8. "Just sit around and cry then. I don't have that luxury."

9. "Even if I could stop, I wouldn't."

10. "Don't act like this isn't you're fault. You're the one who broke us."

11. "I don't do second chances."

12. "I hope they haunt you, the things you've done."

13. "You don't even deserve to look at them."

14. "I miss the time when I thought you were a good person."

15. "They're better for you anyway."

16. "You were supposed to be the good one."

17. "I don't even recognize you anymore."

18. "You can't just pretend everything is okay."

19. "You still think that you can fix me?"

20. "I can't believe I actually thought you were different."

21. "I just can't do this anymore."

22. "Let me leave."

23. You can stop pretending you love me."

~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~Fluff~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

1. "I swear that was the cutest thing I've ever seen."

2. "I love you." "You mean like a friend?"

3. You weren't supposed to see me."

4. "Sometimes I wonder why I like you."

5. "I'm not even sorry."

6. "Your cuter with your mouth shut."

7. "You're blushing quite a bit for someone who doesn't like me."

8. "You are hotter than I thought you'd be."

9. "That looks really good on you."

10. "I got this for you, you know to make up for last night."

11. "You don't always have to be strong. Let me carry some of that weight."

12. "Thank you." "For what?" "Not leaving."

13. One date, just the one, I swear you won't regret it."

14. "Can I draw you?"

15. "God you make it hard to hate you."

16. "Wait... so you aren't dating him?

17. "Do you trust me?"

18. "I'm on you're side. I always will be"

19. "I think you're my soulmate."

20. "You left this. I just wanted to return it."

21. You do know not everyone wants to fuck you right?"

22. "You're special."

23. "You know what, I actually am taking this pretty personally."

24. "I bet you say that to all the guys/girls."

25. "Do you like annyoning me or is it something you just can't help."

26. "I will always come back. Always."

27. "You make it easy to love."

One final thing: I'm opening requests as a thank you for 3k <3

Tagging some ppl:

@approved-by-dentists @coffee--writes @im-a-writer-right @with1love1anu @omgrachwrites @sweeter-than-strawberries @angelinathebook @marauderswhisperer @dudders @teheharrypotter

#harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #harry potter au #sirius black x reader #draco malfoy x reader #harry potter x reader #marauders imagines #marauders au #james potter imagine

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unholyplumpprincess · 4 years ago

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Encouragement

For Someone on Twitter bc they were talking about pegging Bloodhound and I am weak.

Summary: In which Bloodhound never allows you to take control. They like to throw you over, fuck you raw, even if you try to climb on top of them they find an excuse to flip you over. You think it's about time you get a chance to take care of them for once. Even if it requires a little...encouragement.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI or you will be blocked. AGE IN YOUR BIO!

Reblogs > Likes.

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Bloodhound/Reader

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Bloodhound has a vulva, my Bloodhound hcs ofc, bondage and sex toys oh my!, Bloodhound apex legends PLZ let someone take care of u for once jfc

Words: 1.5k

________________

It was best said lain out that Bloodhound was not one to lose their control.

You knew it when you entered this relationship that Bloodhound had a certain fear around them, even if they wouldn’t say it out loud. Something in their past had caused them to be like this, something you would not push or ask about and would happily let them take the reins. They knew what they wanted, for the most part, and communication was no issue between you two.

When it came to the bedroom, anytime you tried to take a little bit over? Bloodhound always found a way to either distract you, pin you down, or remind you who was in charge. You had a scar on the crook of your neck that remained forever on your skin just from that constant reminder. Not that you minded, no, you quite liked their arsenal of toys and curiosities on how to ruin you inside and out.

But frankly?

Sometimes a bitch just wanted to plow and rail their spouse until they were crying and keening instead of snarling and growling.

~Rest under the cut~

Bloodhound was sensitive, this much you knew through moments where they’d guide you by your hair onto your knees, or even allowing you to wear the strap on so they could ride you with their hand around your throat and you pleading for mercy. Bloodhound always, always had to have the control in situations like that. Even your dates were carefully planned ahead of time by them, even if some felt spontaneous and fun, you knew Bloodhound had made sure to plan ahead.

All this control had made sense when they’d opened up to you recently about their fear of losing you in an accident or something worse. They’d opened up so carefully to you about losing all of their family- their mother and father, their uncle, practically raising themself as a young teenager recently orphaned. They talked proudly of their village and how everyone tried their best to assist where they could, but...

You’d held them tight that day, kissing their face and wiping their tears that they tried to hold back. “Let me have the reins sometimes, baby? You don’t need the world on your shoulders, lemme take care of you. Let me take care of you properly?” It had taken some convincing, and of course a few puppy dog eyes and pleading, but they promised to work with you on helping ease their fears.

This led to you being allowed to make dates up, to finally being allowed to kiss them in heavier fashions without them feeling the need to roll you over, which led to you being allowed to go down on them for the first time WITHOUT having them sit on your face and control your movements.

Okay, not a really big complaint on the whole face sitting thing on your part though considering you loved being able to hold their perfect ass in your hands.

Goddamn they had a great ass.

But the point was, all that practice had led to now. With them lying underneath you on their back, their arms tied above their head and their head tossed to the side. Bloodhound looked beautiful underneath you, red ringlets curling on their face and their full lips parted to show those sharp double canines you loved so much. Their eyebrows are knitted, their eyes half lidded and their unblinded eye looking up at you like you meant everything to them.

There’s the low buzz of a vibrator, a wand tied around their hips with more rope and held firmly against their fat clit. A plug had been fitted into their ass earlier, sending them into a bucking frenzy from their sensitivity. And now they were sunken down onto your cock, spreading them out wide just for you. The cock you wore strapped around your waist was that of a werewolf, one Bloodhound particularly loved to use on you. It was huge, eight inches of usable length with the girth near matching the size of the knot in thickness of a fist.

A small tube led to your hip where a syringe was, full of cum lube that was already half empty.

Bloodhound’s panting, slick or drool on their chin from eating you out- you can’t tell which it might be. They’ve already cum five times, heightened sensitivity. But you hold still inside them despite their squirming, the creak of the bed heard when their legs try to tug where their ankles were tied to the bed’s posts. “My love-” They try to whine out, exasperated when you just stroke down the curve of their side.

“Mmh? Hound, baby, I’ve already told you what I want. What was it that you used to tell me when you tied me up just like this?” Your voice is a croon, a pause as you grab their breast, squeezing it and tweaking their pierced nipple to make their hips thrust up and their head fall back with a sob. “’Patience is a virtue?’ "

Bloodhound lets out that low, breathy snarl in their throat, their long lashes fluttering as their hips roll as best as they can against yours. It’s quite the sight to see them all helpless like this, trying so hard to get the low buzz of the vibrator to increase. Trying to get you to thrust into them like you had been before.

“Y-you do not crave patience,” They manage to choke out, their head falling back when you lean down and start kissing up their neck. You suck a dark bruise under their jawline, sinking your teeth lightly there and relish in how their back arches to desperately press their body to your own. “You crave submission-”

“And why not give me that submission then, pup?” You growl out low near their pierced-up ear, nipping the gauged lobe. “You know what I want. I know what you want. Quit acting like you don’t want me to ruin you. You aren’t as big and bad as you think you are, love.”

You relish in their frustrated snarl and the snap of their teeth, sitting back up to grip their hips and angling them just right so you can look down and see how wide their cunt is stretched around you. Just begging to take the knot. When your eyes come back to their face, they’ve tossed their head to the side, lips parting and closing a few times and their eyebrows pinched together.

For once, they really do look helpless.

Your hand slides up to their face, cupping their cheek and turning their eyes to you, swiping your thumb over their cheekbone adoringly. “Let me take care of you, pup. Let me have you. You don’t have to think about anything. Be a good dog for me, baby, c’mon.” You coo softly, trailing your hand back down their body, letting your nails bite into their skin just like they liked. Yet, still so stubbornly they keep quiet.

Maybe they need a bit of encouragement.

Bloodhound whines when you reach down to adjust the wand on their clit, sliding your thumb over the enlarged shape of it before going back up to turn the vibrator on high suddenly. They immediately cry out, their head throwing back and their body trembling. You hide your smirk when you lightly thrust your hips forward, passing it off as just you adjusting your hips, but it does the trick to make a snarl rip from their body when you turn off the vibrator.

Their mouth opens to snarl at you again, but you crank it back on again to high. And once more they tense up, trembling and their thighs tensing. “Say it, Hound.”

“N-n—”

Your hand comes up, clasping around their throat and forcing their eyes to look up at you half lidded and wanting. You punctuate your next two words with a slam of your hips on each syllable. “Say. It.”

So stubborn, you think when they sob out. Tears spill down their cheeks again, harsh panting falling from their lips and a desperate tautness to their body. You shut off the vibrator one last time when you note their telltale signs of being close, and that does the trick.

“PLEASE! Please, please, please - I am yours, your good dog, please, please breed me, I am yours to use, please, please--” Bloodhound sounds absolutely beautiful begging for you, even more beautiful in how their wide hips try to lift and press downwards, trying to get you to fuck them.

You bite your lip to hide your grin, a cock to your head as you let them beg a little longer before sinking your nails into their hips and pounding your hips forward just as you switch the vibrator back on.

“Good dog, good puppy. Relax, shh, shh, I’ve got you now.” You croon gently through their loud cries and whines, their toes curling and body trembling as another orgasm hits them. But you don’t even come close to slowing down, pounding harsh and heavy into their stretched cunt, hearing the wet sounds of both their natural slickness and the cum lube spilling out of them with each thrust.

Yeah. All they needed was a little encouragement.

#Bloodhound #Bloodhound x reader #apex lemons #apex legends #nsft #lemon #princess writing

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sephiroths-stuff · 4 years ago

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Something I relearned today

Cishet, able bodied, white, well off, educated, neurotypical, christian/a-religious* men, and this goes for cis/het/NT/able-bodied/white christian/a-religious, well off, and educated women** too, will never understand the pain that those who are different from them go through, and they will generally think your claims of bigotry, persecution, and attacks being leveled against you are being exaggerated, because they have never been attacked for existing the way you have.

Never let that dissuade you from speaking out, calling out injustice, taking action when it needs to happen, and being unrelenting in standing up for yourself when at all possible. When people call you a liar for exposing injustice, hold your head high, and cut them from your life with no regrets.

To my siblings of color and other minorities: are not obligated to tell anyone anything to prove your experience as a minority is valid. You should not have to defend your voice in spaces when it belongs there.***

Those with privilege who do not actively try to embetter those who suffer are part of an oppressive system. If you have privilege, you are obligated to help others, because having great power comes great responsibility and having the ability to help and choosing not to and that inaction leading to suffering puts the blame in your court.****

EXTRA THINGS TO NOTE BELOW:

* a-religious just means the general deist/agnostic/atheist etc.

**People who are some subset of the privileged I listed above obviously have different amounts of privilege than someone who is all of the above types of prigileged, and women are generally less privileged than men of the same race who have the same other categories of privilege, meanwhile, a white cis woman inherently is generally more privileged than a black cis man etc.

I am in none of these categories of privilege outside of education, and I only have that because I got scholarship haha and I might not even get to finish college due to illness and money. I'm a trans, asian/pacific islander, bisexual, Neurodivergent (autistic/schizophrenic), disabled, poor, and Sikh but also looking into Jewishness as an exploration of my adopted family's ethnicity and religious background (I personally don't feel like any one religion holds all answers for me, plz don't start discourse with me abt that on this post this isn't the place)

*** this is in reference to gatekeeping people, not, for instance, people claiming to be things they aren't for clout. For instance, people (mainly goyim) have attacked me for saying I'm of jewish descent because my adopted family is Jewish. (Which would imply that they don't see me as actually related to my own family) Jewish beliefs through the ages have mixed opinions on adoption, but MY JEWISH FAMILY had me take their last name (which did but no longer sounds jewish because it was anglicized for... Well they immigrated in the early 1900s so take a guess), and I have been told by multiple people of my family as well as other members of the Jewish community that especially as I'm exploring the religion and have Jewish parentage, I have the right to say I am Jewish. I shouldn't even have to say that but this is Tumblr and someone's gonna take this out of context someday on my resume lmao. But anyhow. Don't gatekeep. This goes for white passing poc, closeted people, ace inclusion, people with invisible disabilities and illnesses who want accommodations, etc. They are all valid and members of their communities.

**** If that was worded weirdly, basically, if let's say someone knew someone was dying and was the only one who could save them, and knew this, and still actively chose to let them die, they would be responsible for their death. Same concept.

~ being poor/uneducated/disabled is a weird issue because it's something that could happen to anyone, even white, able bodied and or educated people, especially with our medical system, but it disproportionately effects bipoc/poor/disabled people and often intersects them and is because of one or both things. White people can be poor and be an oppressed group due to it, but their poverty is NOT due to their race, which is an important factor. It's the poorness that's oppressed not the race.

~ if you are white or otherwise privileged and feel that this post is calling you out for treating your bipoc/disabled/lgbtq+/etc friends poorly, it probably is, and you should step back and rethink your internalized prejudices~

There is no TLDR. Because people need to read and fucking understand this. To be a good ally you don't just reblog posts that say "fuck terfs" and "I hate nazis" and "eat the rich" you amplify minority voices, you aid people when you can materially or even by giving time or emotional support if that's your capability (EMPHASIS ON IF YOU CAN. IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO DUE TO A VALID ISSUE I'M NOT GUILTING YOU). And above all, you let the people in your life know that you are there not as someone who will silence them when they say uncomfortable truths or call out injustice, but boost them up and help them and defend them as they make the best of a world determined to tamp out the lesser privileged.

#lgbtq #poc #bipoc #queer #oppression #rant #vagueposting #no one here #i got angry tonight #disabled #poverty #nt #nd #social justice #intersectionality #being an ally #allyship #long post #privilege

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doing-all-write · 5 years ago

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don’t be a baby pt. 3

Pairing: Billy x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader discovers that Billy isn’t actually dead. Which changes everything. But also, nothing at all.

Read part 1 HERE

Read part 2 HERE

Word Count: 7K

Warnings: SMUT (only 18+ interact PLZ), swearing, blood, explosions, fighting and some SOFT FEELINGS FOLKS OH BOY.

A/N: SURPRISE! Here’s part 3 of don’t be a baby! I hope you all love this ending, I’m so happy with how it ended so please enjoy!

💖💖As always, likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! 💖💖

“You bastard.”

The growl that came crawling out of her throat came from the basest, most animalistic part of her. Billy felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

"You fucking prick." Finally wrenching her hand from his, she reached up, ripping his hood off, fully bringing Billy’s feature into the light.

Her jaw went slack, her complexion ghost white as Billy stood there. Knowing there was nothing he could say or do to make this situation better or less confusing.

"You-you-no. No. This is impossible. There was a coffin. We had a funeral. Billy. I mourned you. I am still mourning you. What the fuck-"

"One found me on the ground after that last mission. He offered me this chance and-"

She hadn't even been aware she’d been moving away from him until her back hit the wall and her legs gave out completely.

Sliding to the floor, she pulled her knees into her chest, bringing her head down to take deep gulps of air as Billy stood over her Clenching and unclenching his hands, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around her but not knowing if that would make things better or worse,

"I couldn't not take it love-(Y/N)" catching himself before he called her the old pet name, "It was the best option for me. I got a fresh start. I get to help people. It's steady work and I get to do what I love. Plus, you deserve someone better than me, it was only a matter of time before you realized it anyway..." His voice trailed off as she went stock still.

Watching the monitors, the rest of the team jockeyed around One for position as he relayed what was being said in the room like a sports commentator, "Ooo, he just went for the 'you deserve better than me so I faked my own death' route! That one never works folks. Trust me, I've tried." Five rolled her eyes as Seven snickered.

"DAMN!" Three exclaimed as the rest of the team broke out in screams as (Y/N) launched herself at Billy, fists flying and teeth bared.

He didn't think she wanted him? He hadn't even asked her what she wanted, they had never even talked about it but only because his selfish ass had gone and written the ending of their story before it had even had a chance to start. The shock drained away, to be replaced by anger. It rose through her blood stream, lighting her body up, until it reached her eyes. She knew that the look in her eyes was feral, bordering on unhinged so it brought her some small joy to see his face blanche at the sight as her (Y/E/C) eyes met his blue ones.

"You no good, lying, piece of shit, COWARD." She had tried her best to keep her voice calm but the last word scraped past her vocal cords in a roar as she launched her body at him.

The rational part of her brain knew she wasn’t thinking straight but the other part of her brain that had been wallowing in depression, hopelessness, anger and loss for 365 days was ready to fight.

"You promised. You said you would come back to me and you didn't. But you've been alive this whole goddamn time and now you're in front of me telling me that you didn't think I would want you? And instead of talking to me, you pretend to kill yourself?" Each word was punctuated by a well placed kick, punch or slap on Billy's person.

“I thought ghosting was bad but this takes it to a whole new LEVEL.” she shrieked as she aimed a left hook to Billy’s kidney.

Those boxing lessons paid off, she briefly thought to herself.

There was a part of Billy that had prepared himself for this kind of reaction. He wasn’t even trying to defend himself from her. He knew this was the least he deserved and honestly, he was glad she was even touching him at all.

Continuing her onslaught on Billy, she hoped she left bruises. A physical representation of the bruising he had caused on her heart over the past year. Growling, she kept up a running commentary of what exactly Billy was since he had left her behind.

Billy kept his eyes trained forward, as her fists kept up a steady rhythm on his body. Shoulders straight, hands loose at his sides, waiting for some kind of sign that she was slowing down. He risked a glance down and saw her cheeks glistening with tears.

His heart broke into a million pieces. He felt his throat tighten as the tears that he had tried to hold back, welled up in his own eyes.

She knew distantly that the wetness she felt wasn't sweat. She just prayed that Billy didn't notice them. She didn't want him to think she was weak. As that thought crossed her brain, she realized her punches were getting softer and softer. The rapid pattern she had been striking Billy with had slowed considerably.

"You son of a bitch. You promised." The last word came out in a ragged wisp as she felt the adrenaline leave her body and despondency begin to take its place.

"Don't you love me?" Billy's arms reached for her instinctually at those four words. Pulling her frame into his broad chest, he felt her crumble against him as her sobs echoed throughout the room.

"Shh, love, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know, rest now. I'm so sorry, my love." He whispered, letting his head drop down so his lips grazed her ear as he repeated his apology over and over again. She felt herself getting irritated with her own body when it gave an impulsive shudder at the nearness of him.

Distantly, she realized that the months of chasing the spark she had with Billy with other men had been pointless. There was no way to recreate it because Billy was the spark. There was no way to recreate what they had because there was no one else like Billy and she didn’t want anyone but Billy.

Feeling the cold concrete of the ground seeping through her leggings, she registered that she must have sunk to the ground as Billy kept his arms around her, both of them huddled on the floor as she sobbed and half heartedly struck Billy’s chest with a weak fist, whispering a few choice phrases such as "fuck you" or "bastard".

The last thing she remembered was Billy whispering the words ``I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again as he rocked her back and forth as she felt herself drift into unconsciousness.

~~~

It was the first sleep she'd had where she didn't dream.

Eyelids fluttering open, she blinked the drowsiness away, forgetting about where she was and why she was on a cot with the desert sun piercing through the linen curtains over the window next to her.

Then it all came slamming back to her with such force that it pulled the air from her lungs. Crushing her knees into her chest she rolled into a ball, breathing into the cave she’d created for herself. Listening to her breath cycle through her body helped to ground her into the fucked up reality she’d woken up in.

After a few minutes, she lifted her head and took a deep breath in. Exhaling, she swung her legs over the edge of the cot and walked toward a door that she assumed was a bathroom.

Seeing that the door had been cracked open she hesitated, not wanting to barge in if someone was already in there. Leaning forward she tried to see who it was.

Her breath was ripped from her lungs for a second time as her eyes were met with the broad expanse of Billy's back. He was twisting in the mirror, trying to rub gel onto the bruise that was blooming on his side from her fists.

Guilt blossomed in her gut as she thought about how she had hurt him, then figured it was the least she could do to him considering he had caused her more pain and suffering than any one person should feel in their lifetime.

A whine interrupted her thought process as Billy pressed too hard on the bruise that had flowered by his rib cage. The guilt came crawling back and she gently knocked on the door, pushing it open.

"Do, uh, do you need help?" Feeling shy suddenly, she trained her eyes on Billy's feet which shuffled back and forth, as if trying to decide if he wanted to be closer to her or afraid she would hit him again.

“Yeah-yes. I need your help.” He cleared his throat, “I need you.”

Studiously avoiding eye contact, she reached for the gel he had been trying to apply. She took it from his hands and rubbed some onto her palms. Feeling his gaze burning into her, she forced herself to focus on the task at hand.

The scent of eucalyptus filled the air as she pressed her palms onto his skin. He couldn't fight the hiss that leaked out from between his teeth.

Her lips quirked up as she whispered, "Don't be a baby."

Their eyes met and he couldn't help what happened next, he kissed her.

Rising up to meet the harsh push of Billy's lips against her, lust roared to life in the pit of her stomach. Grasping Billy's biceps she leaped into the air, wrapping her legs around his waist. Billy's arms flew up to wrap around her as they both pressed their lips into each other, moaning as she clawed at his back. He deposited her on the sink counter as he reached a leg out to kick the bathroom door shut, praying that no one tried to open the door because fuck. He wasn't going to stop kissing her just to lock a damn door.

She pulled back, ripping a wimper from Billy. Smirking, she nipped at his bottom lip, then ran her tongue delicately over the red spot that was blooming there. Moaning, he thrusted his hips forward, trying to find something to help relieve the pressure building in his cock. Her moans mixed with his as she pressed her own hips forward.

Billy's hands gripped her waist as he stepped in between her legs, pumping his hips forward, meeting her needy thrusts with his own. Gasping at the feeling of Billy's length rubbing against her, Billy let out a groan as he wound a hand into her hair, pulling it to expose the line of her throat as he nipped down it, humming with each whine she let out.

Running her hands down his arms, she moved his hands to grasp at her tits, pushing them into his hands to drive home where she wanted him to touch her most. Chuckling, he ran his thumbs over her breasts, brushing the pad of his thumb over the peak her nipples made through her tank top.

Keening she reached forward, grasping the edge of his joggers, pulling him forward as she nudged them down, grasping his cock at the base, stroking it.

Billy growled at the action, grasping the waistband of her leggings, he wiggled them down her thighs till they pooled around her ankles. Kissing her deeply, he brushed the head of his cock against her folds, moaning when he felt the wetness gathering on the head.

Reaching down, he grasped her thighs, pulling them apart so he could finally, finally, dip his cock into the folds of her cunt. Throwing her head back she let out a stream of curses, Billy biting his lip as he rolled his hips forward, both of them falling into a familiar rhythm as she dug her nails into Billy's shoulders.

Fingertips sinking into the flesh around her hips, Billy growled into her mouth, causing her to clench the walls of her cunt around his cock. Whimpering, she moved her hand down to rub at her clit. Billy batted her hand out of the way, “Let me.” he whispered before pressing his mouth more desperately against hers, as he began drawing circles over the sensitive nub.

Moaning into his mouth, she felt her walls clenching even tighter as she rocked her hips sloppily against his own, knowing she was close.

Feeling her grip around his cock, Billy knew she was close and he thanked the gods she was because he was positive he wouldn’t have lasted much longer. Pumping faster, he dug his hands so hard into her hips she knew there would be bruises there.

Not that she minded.

Feeling the fire gnawing its way through her, she clung to Billy desperately as he gave a few last rocks, pressing against her clit in the most delicious way, she gave into the pleasure sweeping over her.

Her walls clamped around him, giving him the final nudge he needed to spill into her. Both of them groaned as the last few waves of pleasure swept over them. Her head came down to rest on Billy's shoulder. His hands still clamped on her hips, both of them breathing each other's scents as their fury wound down.

The silence was interrupted by the crackle of the intercom,

"Kinda pissed I wasn't the first one to get into those Nike leggings."

"Fuck off." came their simultaneous response. Locking eyes, they both broke into smiles as Billy gingerly pulled himself from her. Helping her down from the counter, he cleaned them both up, helping her step out of her leggings but leaving her underwear on. As he pulled his own joggers up, he gently pushed her into the room she had just left. Stumbling back into the room, she felt exhaustion wash over her again.

Collapsing once more into the bed, the last thing she remembered before dropping back into sleep was Billy padding into the room and her hand reaching out for him. Grasping for it so she could be sure he wouldn’t leave before she woke up.

~~~

Billy became suddenly aware there was a weight on his chest.

Stirring, he felt the mass curl into him further. Sniffing, he caught a whiff of the shampoo (Y/N) always used and knowing it was her curled into him was almost enough to have him break down into sobs.

Bringing a hesitant hand to her waves, he gently stroked them as her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm.

Aware of the hand stroking her hair, she did her best to keep still so he wouldn't stop. She knew that when she woke they would need to have a serious conversation about...all of it. About Billy being alive. Them being on the same team. Would she be able to trust him again? There was a lot to discuss but right now she wanted to lay on his chest and pretend that it was the day after their first day together, the future ahead of them bright and unencumbered.

Feeling her arm start to fall asleep, she figured it was time to wake up and face Billy.

Feeling her stir, Billy's hand stilled on her waves, moving down to land on her hip as she shifted so she could shoot a sleepy smile up at him, "Morning" she croaked out and Billy thought he had never seen something so adorable in his entire life.

Smiling, he replied, "Morning," then frowned, "or afternoon. I have no bloody idea what time or day it is to be quite honest with you."

Letting out a wheezy laugh she brought her head back down to his chest as he wrapped an arm around her, bringing her closer to him, feeling more grounded already with her next to him.

He knew they should talk about what his being alive meant for them and for the future, but he wanted to be selfish and hold onto these few peaceful moments. He’d realized how greedy he was when it came to spending time with (Y/N) but he couldn't help it. Every second, every minute, he wasn't next to her felt like a moment wasted.

Sighing, she turned her face up to him, "I guess we should talk about...well...the fact that you're not dead." Bringing his other hand up to rub down his face, Billy let out a sigh, "Yeah, I s'pose we should."

"Don't sound too excited."

"You gonna hit me again?"

"You going to keep having that tone with me?"

Cowing immediately Billy ran his hand over her back, "No, 'course not (Y/N). Sorry."

Sniffing she nodded to show she'd acknowledged his apology. Her next question came out on a sigh, "Why, Billy?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you do this?"

It was Billy's turn to heave a sigh as he chose his next words with care. He wanted, needed, her to understand why he did what he did. He needed her to understand it wasn’t because he didn’t love, it was because he loved her too much.

"Because...well...One's offer was too good to pass up. Truly. I could do all my Sky Walker stuff but also be able to help people. It was my chance to make a difference in the world, to do some massive good on a global scale."

Sniffing back tears, she nodded mutely as she absentmindedly drew circles over his torso. "I understand that Billy, but...why did you have to break your promise?"

The sharp intake of breath from Billy caused her to raise her head, shock flooding her veins as she saw tears start to leak out of the corner of his eyes. Raising her thumb up, she swiped them away.

"I didn't want to, (Y/N). But...I had to. One explained to me how dangerous this job was, is, and how people will do awful things to anyone connected to you. I...I couldn't bear the thought of you being caught in the crosshairs or having something happen to you because of me."

"Okay but, why didn't you talk to me about it? You just assumed I would be okay with it? That I would tell you One was right? That I wouldn't fight for you? For us? C'mon Billy. Give me a little credit."

"Yeah, because you took so well to my original job."

Her body stilled as she realized he was right. Not that she was happy about it. Sighing she tilted her head up to look into his eyes, "You're right. But that was before. This is...now. I'm different. I've changed."

Billy's eyes roamed over her face, memorizing every detail of it. He took stock of her eyes, how the light was boarded up tight, like they were the first few times he’d talked to her. When she smiled or laughed, he saw a flash of it peek through only for her to quickly shove it back down.

As she studied his own face, she desperately wanted to let her guard down. It would be so easy to slip into how it should have been but there was something that was holding her back. She couldn’t figure out what it was until it hit her like a freight train.

What if Billy really died?

Now that she knew his death had been a ruse and he was still alive, this time, if he did die in this life...there really was no coming back from that. Her heart tore in half at the thought.

"Love..." he hesitated to see how she would react to the pet name. When she didn't hit him or tell him not to use it, he continued, "Love, listen. This is totally your choice. If you think we can do this, then, I'm all in. This will be our new life together. But if there's even a shred of an issue, then you get to walk out that door. And you'll never hear from me again." His heart leaped when she wrapped her arm around his chest more securely at that admission.

"I don't want that. But...Billy...what happens...if...if...you die. Again. For real." Her voice was shaky as she nestled her face into Billy's side, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears threatening to overwhelm her.

Billy's breath left his lungs in a harsh whoosh as the full impact of that idea made his heart skip a beat. He hadn't even considered the possibility. Mainly because if he did, he would never do half the shit he did.

"I wish I had a good answer love but, I don't." Hearing her sniffle he turned on his side, cupping her chin in his hand as he tilted her face up so she would look at him and know how desperately he meant the next few words,

"I just, I have a feeling in my gut that I won't die though. The only reason I made it through half of these missions is because of the people around me and...you." Her eyes widened at this admission,

"Yes, love. You. The very idea of you when I was off doing things that James Bond could only dream of," she snorted as Billy grasped one of her hands in his own, "is what made me more convinced than ever that I needed to get back to you in one piece. And if you join the team? Love, you will be the only thing that's going through my head when we're on a job together. The promise of being able to come home to you at the end of the day, to have you patch me up, to give me endless shit. I wouldn't want to miss any more of it than I already have. So please, believe me when I tell you, if you join this team? I will never, ever leave you again. I promise, (Y/N)."

Raising her eyes to meet his blue ones, she felt her heart squeeze when she saw the tears streaming freely down his face. He had laid his heart bare for her and the love she felt for him in that moment made her glow with a warmth she hadn’t felt, well, since the last time they had been in a bed together. But part of her was still hesitant. She wanted to believe him but she couldn’t go through what she had already been through again.

Billy knew that she was doing her best to figure out if he truly meant it. Sensing her hesitation, he placed the hand he had been gripping over his heart, "Do you feel that?” She nodded, feeling grounded as his heart beat beneath her palm, “Every beat is for you. For you and you alone, love. You bring me into the light and make me feel as if I deserve to be there. Please, (Y/N), do what you think is right but just know, that I want you, and only you, for the rest of my life."

Crying freely, she nodded frantically as she curled herself into Billy's chest. Stroking her back, he let her cry as much as she needed to. After a while, she pulled back, mumbling an apology for getting snot on his shirt as he laughed. Lifting her head up she realized she was right in line with Billy's lips. They were so perfect, reaching a hesitant finger out, she traced them. Feeling her heart beat harder when Billy’s breath hitched at the movement.

Lowering her finger, she snuggled closer to Billy as she reached her lips up to press them against his own softly, tentatively, like she was asking a question more than providing an answer.

Billy sighed as he brought a hand up to cup her face. Stroking the planes, he made sure to remember exactly how her lips felt as he wiped the last of her tears from her face.

Deepening the kiss, she moaned softly into his mouth as he traced a line from her cheek, down her neck, down her side until his hand landed on her hip. Giving her a gentle nudge, she swung her leg over and straddled Billy as he adjusted himself underneath her. He looked up at her and was sure he had never seen a more beautiful sight. Clad in her black tank top and panties, no makeup, hair falling in her face, Billy's heart ached at the notion of being able to wake up to this sight every day of his life.

Resting her hands gently on the broad expanse of his chest, she gave a small thrust forward, testing to see how hard he was. Gasping when she felt his full length twitch, he cocked an eyebrow at her, "You okay there, love?"

"Shut it." She mumbled as she leaned down to capture his lips with hers.

"Make me" was his response as he kissed her back tenderly. Their movements were languid, the passion and tension that had gripped them last night burnt away only to leave the love, adoration and relief they both felt to be reunited with each other. Gently rubbing herself over his cock, he reached a hand down to nudge his pants out of the way.

When his cock sprang free, she reached a hand down into her panties, running two fingers over her own slick, lifting her hand up to lick the juices off her fingers as Billy stared at her, slack-jawed.

Giggling, she moved her underwear to the side as she shifted her hips, positioning herself over his length then slowly lowering herself until he was fully sheathed inside of her.

She gasped as his hands came up to caress the bruises he had left on her hips. His touches were feather light as she let herself adjust to the girth of Billy's cock. Both of them were making a conscious effort to not rush this time. They wanted to relish the feel of each others bodies.

They both treated their bodies as dispensable when they were on a job, but with each other they gave into the feeling of being admired, of being adored, of being touched delicately and being delicate in return.

As (Y/N) let herself enjoy how full she felt with Billy inside of her, Billy rubbed his thumbs over her hips, urging his own hips to stay still. He didn't want to rush this. He didn't want to rush her. He wanted to do this right. He wanted to make sure that she felt comfortable, that she could feel how much he loved and cared about her through his actions.

In the same vein, (Y/N) wanted to treat Billy with softness. To show that she trusted him, that she wanted to be with him always and would trust him with her life. That he deserved to be cherished. Slowly, she started rocking her hips back and forth, finding a soothing rhythm as her fingers fluttered down to rest on Billy's stomach.

Billy's hands caressed her thighs, brushing slow patterns, the roughness of his palms on her skin causing goosebumps to rise up as she started pumping her hips a little faster. Below her, Billy was making the most obscene noises she'd ever heard. Moans, whines and gasps, the whole time desperately searching for eye contact so he could watch her reaction to every movement of his body underneath hers.

Leaning down to kiss him, he grasped her shoulders and flipped them so he was on top of her, using his forearms to prop himself up, staring down at her, he smiled, "You're the most beautiful woman in the world." Blushing furiously, she rolled her eyes so she wouldn't have to make eye contact knowing that if she did, her heart would explode with how much love she had for him.

Leaning his head down, he nuzzled into the crook of her neck, inhaling the smell of her skin, the sweetness of her perfume, the slight tang of salt and something that was so unmistakably (Y/N). Pressing his lips into the curve where her neck sloped down to meet her shoulder, he heard her sigh and continued to nudge his hips forward.

When her moans grew louder, he let out a small growl that made her clench around his length. Thrusting her hips up, she whined needily in the back of her throat. Smirking, Billy started pumping his hips faster into her. Feeling the pit in her stomach grow hotter, she ran her fingers over his head, feeling the pricks of his stubble rub against her palms. As he pulled back to stare into her eyes, she brushed the errant strands that had fallen in front of his eyes. She wanted to drown in their blueness.

Continuing to thrust into her, Billy felt his orgasm building as he kept eye contact with her. Everything was quiet except for their breath. The sighs, the hitches, all of it was much hotter to Billy than any dirty talk could be.

Feeling her heart beat start to speed up, she knew she was getting close. Biting her lip, she peered at Billy through her eyelashes, "Billy...I'm going to cum."

Leaning down, she could feel the smile that was playing on his lips as he whispered in her ear, "Then cum for me, my love." With those words, the pit in her stomach expanded and swallowed her whole. Squeezing her eyes shut, she came with a sharp inhale and slow exhale as her hips rose up to meet Billy's as he pumped into her through her orgasm. Feeling her walls clench around him, watching her come undone below him, pushed him right over the edge. As the last vestiges of her orgasm left her, she felt Billy's hips pumping against her sloppily until with a final grunt, she felt him fill her up with his cum.

Panting, they looked into each others eyes and she giggled as he smiled at her, looking a little dazed. Carefully pulling out of her, he cleaned them up. After pulling his sweatpants back up, he laid down on the bed, pulling her to his chest.

Nuzzling her face into Billy she sighed. Feeling her body loosen and relax, Billy started to plant kisses all over the top of her head, moving down to pepper her cheeks with kisses, she giggled and squirmed away from him. Chuckling, he placed one last kiss to the tip of her nose, “C’mere love. We’ve been apart too long to have you so far away from me.”

“Billy, I’m like an inch away from you.”

“And that’s still too far.” he whined as he pulled her flush against him. Giggling, she flung her arm and leg over Billy’s form, attaching herself even closer to him, “Is this close enough?”

“Not really but, it’ll have to do.” he mumbled as his arms wound around her, hugging her tightly into him.

As they laid there, their breath evened out to match each other. And several hours later, when One was checking the surveillance cameras, that was how he found them. Entwined in each other, breathing in and out in synch, looking for all the world like pieces of a puzzle that had finally come together to create a whole picture.

~One Month Later~

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, of course I'm not. You gotta get out of here and this is the best way to do it. C'mon."

"Eight-" hearing her code name come out of Billy's mouth always made a shiver run down her spine. One time, he had growled it when they were having sex and the orgasm that’d ripped through her when it happened caused her to see God.

She had been lovely.

"Four. I believe in you." Billy pulled up short as he heard those four words crackle through his earpiece. Then,

"You two need to cut the foreplay and figure out a legitimate way of getting the fuck out of this building before it blows."

"Hey, One? Why do you need to cockblock us at every opportunity?" (Y/N) laughed.

"Shut it Eight or I'm going to let you explode in this building."

"You would miss my witty banter though. No one else can keep up with you like I can."

"Correction, no one wants to keep up with him like you do." Was Five's dry reply as she prepped the medical gear sitting in the getaway car. Shrugging, (Y/N) couldn't find fault with that statement. With a final ding, the files finished uploaded to the flash drive. Pulling it out, she gingerly stepped over the four guards that had rushed to greet her.

Slipping into the hallway and gently closing the door behind her, she rushed down the hallway, looking first right, then left to see if Billy was there. She heard a thud to her right and drew her gun as she turned to aim it at whoever was trying to sneak up on her.

"Gotta say, I'm afraid but also a little turned on."

It was Billy at the end of her barrel, holding his arms high.

Holstering her gun she rolled her eyes, "When aren't you feeling like that?"

"Good point, it's been my constant state since you joined the team."

Laughing, she grabbed his hand and started running down the hall of the home of the mobster they’d been infiltrating. He’d been a kingpin in one of the biggest sex trafficking rings in the world. But they had busted him, and it, wide open. (Y/N) had just leaked all of his documents to the FBI and to all major news sites, while downloading a copy for herself. The rest of the team had been making sure she had clear access to the computer and had been extracted awhile ago, it was just her and Billy left.

As they raced down the hallway, they felt a rumble, then,

BOOM.

An explosion rocked the building, bringing them up short, as they looked at where the staircase used to be.

"Well, fuck."

Feeling something tugging her arm, (Y/N) looked away from the inferno to Billy tugging her towards the window, "Trust me?"

"Always."

Smiling back at her, he gripped her hand tighter as they both took off for the window. As a second explosion racked the building, the glass erupted as they launched themselves through the window, body's rolled tight as they aimed for the bunting on the building across from them.

~~~

"FUCK does that hurt. Jesus Christ."

"You do this every time I have to patch you up. Why aren't you used to this? Better question, why do I still patch you up?"

"Because it's how we fell in love in the first place and you love taking care of me."

"Shut up" was her mumbled reply. Billy smiled smugly as he snuggled deeper into the chair he was seated in.

After they had landed on the bunting, rolling and thumping onto the street, they’d pushed themselves up and leaped into the getaway car as Two peeled out and away from the smoking wreckage.

They hadn't even noticed the scraps and cuts they’d acquired until the adrenaline had flowed out of their system and Five was yelling at them, telling them what fools they were and how dumb could they be.

Laughing, Billy drank in (Y/N)'s bright eyes, her mouth stretched into a smile as she hurled insults back at One and flirted shamelessly with Seven. He had slipped a hand onto her thigh with the first wink she’d aimed at Seven. Ignoring the weight of his hand on her thigh, she continued their banter. With every remark, wink or playful nudge, he moved his hand up her thigh until finally,

"Your hand is basically on her pussy can you two please get a room." Three groaned.

Two smacked him as (Y/N) blushed furiously, batting Billy's hand off her leg as Billy laughed, flicking his tongue over his lips.

Getting back to HQ, they tumbled out of the van. Voices overlapping and mixing with each other as they stumbled back to safety, everyone ready for a well deserved rest. (Y/N) was listening to Five explain the latest state of the art medical equipment they’d gotten when she felt the roughness of Billy's palm engulf her hand. Smiling, she squeezed his hand, feeling his palm press harder into her own and giving her butterflies all over again.

"That's even grosser than earlier." Seven snorted at One's comment but felt a tug in his heart at how easily they had slotted themselves back together.

They had emerged from the room they’d been in a few hours later, only to be met by whooping, pats on the back, congratulations being passed around and One loudly declaring how impressed he was with how they "banged it out."

Rolling her eyes she’d put her hands up, "Listen. Before this goes any further I just want to let you guys know what my decision is."

Billy's head had snapped up at that comment. Eyes widening he felt his stomach drop, she’d never specifically said what she had decided on. Feeling unsteady, he braced his hands on the back of a chair, sure he was going to snap it with his grip.

The air in the room became thick with anticipation. Everyone stilled to hear what her final verdict would be.

"I'm in. All in."

Her words were meant for everyone but her gaze stayed glued on Billy. The smile that broke across his face was enough to make her smile as his lips connected to hers, the rest of the room breaking into cheers and whoops and then disgusted groans as Billy deepened the kiss.

Since then, she had fit into the dynamic of the team like she’d always been a part of it. This had been their first official mission with her on board and they were all pleased with how it went. One even offered her a compliment on her competency during the debriefing.

(Alright, so it was a backhanded compliment but that was as good as it was going to get with One.)

Now, she and Billy were back at their shared airplane husk at HQ. Billy's favorite part of their place was the cross-stitch she had done that said "Husk Sweet Husk" with an airplane underneath. It warmed his heart every time he saw it.

Billy was in a chair as (Y/N) sat next to him on the same stool she had perched on the first time he arrived at her apartment. Five had taken care of the larger cuts but she still liked to patch him up whenever she could. It made her feel closer to him and it allowed them to come down from missions together.

"Would you stop squirming? I swear, you're worse than a toddler."

"I'm just trying to keep your skills sharp, love."

"You're about to meet the sharp end of my knife if you don't stop fucking moving."

"And there's that sharp tongue I fell in love with."

"Oh shut up." She smirked as a blush climbed up her cheeks, causing Billy to lean forward and pepper them with kisses as she threw cotton balls at him.

"I give up! You're impossible and on your own to patch yourself up."

"C'mon love, don't be a baby." He snickered as he grabbed her hand to pull her into his lap.

Tucking her head under his chin she pouted, "You know that always works on me, that's not fair."

"Who ever said anything in this relationship is fair?" He tickled her sides lightly until he heard a giggle leave her mouth. Smiling he pressed a kiss to her head as she snuggled deeper into his chest. Winding his arms around her, he squeezed her close. Their breaths synching up as they watched the last of the sun dip below the horizon.

Five minutes or an hour later, she wasn’t sure, she finally shifted with the intention of getting up when she heard Billy hiss.

Looking up at him with confusion, she furrowed her brows, "What?"

"You can't do that, love"

"Why not?" Shifting again she felt something poke her and let out a gasp, "Is that-?"

"It's definitely not my gun so yes. I am very happy to see you."

Laughing she unfolded herself from his arms, "Okay, sorry. I won't do that unless we're spooning and then I'll just 'accidentally' wriggle my butt around until you get hard again."

"It won't take long." The husky quality of Billy's voice caused her head to snap up. His eyes were hooded, boring into her own. The air between them thick with lust.

It had been like this ever since they’d been back together. Everything was a sexual innuendo or an excuse to touch each other. Seven thought it was because of how sexually frustrated Billy was after not getting laid for so long but they both knew it was because they needed the reminder.

Every caress, touch, kiss and sigh against each other's skin was a reminder that this was real, they were with each other. Every time Billy would grab her hand under the table during a meeting a jolt of electricity shot through her.

And every time (Y/N) brushed up against Billy or laid a hand on his back to move past him, his cheeks would flush, remembering that she was close enough to touch and he could touch her any time he wanted.

Neither of them took for granted the simplest things anymore. Passing touches, kisses on the cheek, hugging, holding hands, it all signified something bigger for them. That they could reach out and touch each other whenever they could. Every morning that they woke up, entwined in each others arms was another day that was going to be good, because they had woken up where they belonged.

(Y/N) broke their gaze first, cheeks burning as she shuffled back and forth, "Umm, Mark texted me by the way. He, Mary and Jean are going to FaceTime with us later so we better not get too heated."

"Why does your brother cockblock me at every possible time?"

"Because I'm his sister, it's practically his job."

It’d been tricky to navigate the after-math of the discovery of Billy's demise. She knew that no one knew if she was dead or alive but after negotiating with One, she talked him into taking Mark and Jean onto the team. Which hit another snag when they found out that Mark and Mary had started dating.

One had thrown his hands up when this knowledge came to his attention and cursed the day he brought this, "cluster fuck of a circus" into his group. Begrudgingly he had allowed Billy's mom, sister, Mark and Jean to come to HQ. As soon as they stepped foot in the plane, he had put the fear of God into them about this job, the dangers and how it was of mortal importance they keep their "fucking mouths shut." At which point, he had gone to the door, flung it open and walked out, "Oh and by the way, here's the problem that started this whole mess." he called over his shoulder as Billy walked into the room, sheepishly holding his hand up in a meek wave.

(Y/N) had let him have that moment alone. She figured that would muddy the waters and besides, everyone in there already knew she was alive and okay. They deserved to have time with just Billy. To process, to understand. It had killed her to wait for them to emerge from the room but it had been worth it when she saw Billy and his mother emerge from the room, their eyes red rimmed from crying, arms around each other.

Mark and Jean worked remotely most of the time. One would call them in for missions occasionally but they stuck to ground work and passed information off to One when need be.

Mary and Billy's mom kept quiet, still letting everyone believe that Billy was dead but buoyed by the fact that they could FaceTime him whenever they wanted. (Y/N) also knew that One sent updates to Billy's mom whenever he could and paid for her to come out to visit Billy at HQ when they were between missions. It warmed her heart and made his snarky comments easier to put up with.

Sighing, Billy hauled himself out of the chair, ambling towards the bathroom, "Well, come on then, better make the shower sex quick." He clamped his hands down around her waist as he nudged them towards the bathroom as her laugh rang out, bouncing over the sand dunes.

~~~

"FUCK. BILLY!"

With a final moan, Billy came inside (Y/N), both of them breathing heavily as they came down from their highs. After cleaning up, Billy collapsed into the bed, unfortunately landing right on top of her.

"OOF. Billy, c'mon." Shoving weakly at his form she knew it was a lost cause as he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck.

"S'comfortable. You should just try to be less comfortable to lay on top of."

"How would that even work?"

"Get rid of your boobs."

Gasping, her hands flew up to her chest, "You know these are the money makers!"

"Of course I know that, love. Seven and Three know it as well."

Smacking his shoulder they both chuckled. As their breathing steadied, Billy rolled off her, bringing her into his chest where they snuggled deeper into the blanket they shared. Just as their eyes were closing,

BANG BANG BANG

"C'mon you two. Quit fucking for two seconds, One has a new mission for us."

Groaning, she buried her face into Billy's chest, "Tell One he can go fuck himself."

"You can yourself, darling. In about two seconds."

Dragging her body from the warm nest they had made, she stepped into the first pair of sweatpants she found on the ground, "Remind me again why I agreed to do this stupid job?"

Feeling Billy's hands on her shoulders, she twisted around only to be met with a deep lingering kiss from him, "Because I love you. And I can't do this life, or any life, without you being right next to me."

Pressing her forehead against his she smiled, inhaling deeply, "I love you."

"I love you, too. Also I'm so going to beat you to the control room."

Wha-?" her sentence was cut off as Billy raced from their husk, sprinting across the sand as best he could. An indignant snort left her as she took off after him, their laughter bouncing over the sand. Billy glanced back at her and didn’t know which was brighter, the full moon hanging above them or the warmth that radiated from (Y/N)’s laughing eyes as she raced to follow him to the ends of the world. Reaching a hand out, she grabbed his own as he tugged her forward into their next adventure.

~~~

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