#plumber job

[heavenbarnes]

“He’s here again.”

You could swear the girl from reception says it like she knows something. Like there’s some swirling inside joke that everyone was in on,

except you.

Instead, you were left with that swirling feeling in your stomach as the elevator traveled to reception. A swirling that should’ve been laced with fear, but wasn’t.

One that was gripping tight in your stomach as the doors opened and you were eclipsed by a sun wearing blue tradesman’s clothes.

Ugly bastard.

Mean face with a shorn head, snarled lip and cauliflower ears. Tattooed arms like battering rams and tree trunk legs leading to steel cap boots like anvils.

And he was here for you.

“Um- I’m not actually in facilities.”

You could’ve cursed yourself for sounding so small. You’ve lead meetings, addressed crowds, argued points with a voice like cracked thunder.

But he takes one step towards you and,

“B-but that’s okay, I’ll take you.”

And he doesn’t say a word, just grunts as he steps into the lift with you and you feel the tension spring.

He never says a word.

He met you for the first time three years ago, the girl from facilities was on maternity leave and you happened to be the lucky duck who sat beside the reception door.

Three years later you’d changed floors and you hadn’t even seen him for at least six months. But he still asks for you.

“He always asks for you.”

You’d shushed your colleague, boasting about being helpful and having a tendency to be in office more often than not.

“Probably doesn’t want to remember another name.”

“Then how do you explain the time he refused the job when you were off sick?”

You don’t explain it, you actually try not to think about it.

When the doors open on the floor with the broken toilet, he follows you along the hall like a dog.

Like a hound.

The floor shakes every time he puts his boot on it and he actually manages to make you feel very small against picture windows.

Your colleagues look away when he walks past.

The sign for the ladies toilet at the end of the hall is like a beacon of hope, you can let him in and leave him be and then pretend to be on a phone call when it’s time for him to leave.

Until you get inside.

The sound of running water from the broken cistern echoes off the walls as you show him to the cubicle.

“It’s that one.”

He gives you a look that says “no shit” before he lowers his head to step through the stall door. He must hear your shoes scuff against the floor as you break for your exit.

“Stay put.”

You tell yourself you’re just shocked it’s the first time you’ve heard his voice. He’s British, Mancunian you reckon. Caught you by surprise.

That’s why you obediently spin on your heel and press your back to the wall.

No other reason.

You listen to the sound of grating porcelain as he removes the cistern lid and messes about with the flushing mechanism.

Your eyes catch him in the mirror, watching the way his back flexes under his work shirt as he reaches a bloody great paw into the water.

“Piece of shit.”

Second thing you’ve ever heard him say. Granted, it’s under his breath but he definitely said it. You try not to show any expression lest he have eyes in the back of his head.

Wouldn’t put it past him.

The sound of running water stops but you can tell by the huffing and puffing that he’s not fixed it, you can tell by his next outburst he’s not even close.

“Cunt of a thing.”

You almost let a smile slip onto your face before you’re blanching at the sound of your name.

“In ‘ere.”

He’s the mutt, he’s the hound with sharp teeth and clipped ears. He’s mean and he’s nasty and he’s not good with others, definitely not house trained.

But it’s you whose ears prick up at his call and immediately walk to join him in the small space. Show dog.

A retriever, running towards the sound of a gun.

The cubicle is small enough as is but with Simon (the embroidered patch on his shirt tells you, he’s never actually given you his name) in here it feels like a coffin.

You end up with your back to the wall again, this time with his elbow all but digging into your stomach. He’s got pieces of the flusher in his hand and he’s sending them your way.

Obedience in spades, you’re letting him place the dirty parts right in the flat of your hand.

Getting you as dirty as the rest of him.

“Oh, okay.”

You catch him look at you out the corner of his eye before he huffs, again, and reaches right back into the cistern.

He almost looks disappointed, dissatisfied- like he’d hope you’d put up more of a fight with him. Like you’d shove the metal right into his chest and really give him something to huff about.

But you leave your hand out stretched and let him pick from it at his leisure. Take from you as he pleases.

(He wonders if that’s a transferable skill)

To your delight (and his dismay) the toilet is back in perfect order and after three test flushes you can both leave the tiny fluorescent cave you’d been inhabiting for the last fifteen minutes.

“Um, do you need to go back upstairs or are you good to go?”

He dries his hands on the thighs of his trousers before he stares at you blankly. He snarls his lip in a way the makes the scar above it stretch and you wonder if it hurts him.

(If it does, you wonder if that’s why he does it)

He turns without warning and suddenly it’s you following him back down the hall. Struggling to keep up, pretty pampered little dog following this great big mutt around on his heels.

“Need t’go down to my van- I’ll show you.”

You could probably stop walking here. It would’ve been very easy for you to break to your desk and honestly? He probably would’ve let you.

“Oh, you don’t need me to access the garage.”

But you’re following him to the elevator anyway and you think you see that same air of disappointment drift across his features as he realises how easy you’ve made yourself.

“Don’t tell me what I don’t need.”

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

There's always something about this ending in the film that gets me choked up whenever I rewatch it.

Just seeing the two brothers together as they jump around the platforms in their new home in the Mushroom kingdom, laughing, goofing off, and having a good time.

Then, in the very last shot, we see them jump into the warp pipe, waving back to the other Toads, and then they seemingly look back directly at us, the audience, almost as if they're saying "Thanks for watching the movie, we'll see ya soon", that sort of thing as they disappear.

It's makes it more emotional since it's the very last shot we see before the title card comes up, and it gets me EVERY, DAMN, TIME.

I guess I miss them too much at this point 😢

That and I'm never going to hear Mr. Blue Sky the same way ever again after watching this film. XD

[munsons-mutiny]

Let’s talk about the Watch What Happens (reprise) and why Only Davey could’ve sang it.

Like at this point they’re pushing the Katherine and Jack agenda, why shouldn’t she be his inspiration to keep going in this moment???

And the answer is cause she can’t grasp the situation fully!!!

Let me make it very clear that this is Not Katherine slander. I love her. I think this scene highlights the differences in their struggles and upbringing in a really brilliant way.

When she sees Jack wants to quit in this scene she’s so harsh with him. Doesn’t try to empathize with his situation at all, wants him to just buck up and keep going! Because for her, in her situation, with her upbringing, that’s the only way to get anywhere! She wants to be a reporter? Well she can’t listen when she’s told no. She has to push ahead no matter what. She can’t show fear and she can’t show weakness cause she’ll be called a girl like it’s a bad thing and have it used against her. But she doesn’t see her privilege in this! That in coming from a rich powerful family her physical safety can not be put in jeopardy! Her worst case scenario is moving back home and having to deal with her family’s idea of what it means to be a women in this time period. And don’t get me wrong that’s horrible, it would be a terrible and unfair outcome.

But it doesn’t threaten her physical safety!! (Not to say this is true for all women in her position but the show paints a picture that her dad does genuinely love her in his extremely misguided way and we never see him threaten her physical well being or even to stop bank rolling her). She can’t understand that sometimes you need to let a fight pass you by to survive. She doesn’t understand what it really means for Crutchie to be in the Refuge until later. So she pushes hard and it would’ve just ended in a fight where her and Jack miss each other’s points entirely.

But Davey gets it. Maybe not to the extent Jack does, but Jack said it himself Davey’s dads physical safety being jeopardized at work has threatened his whole family’s housing and food security. Something that could’ve been prevented with a union. He knows that this isn’t safe, he fully grasps the danger they’re in, to an extent that Katherine can’t because she’s never threatened by it. Not really. For her and her rich friends she involves this could just be a pet project (she would never view it that way of course) but if this all goes pear shaped all she has to live with is the guilt not the consequences. Her life continues with maybe some delays depending how long her blacklisting lasts.

But for Davey this could be the choice that means they can’t afford food or can’t pay rent. This could be the choice that means Les can’t go to school and his dad doesn’t have a safe place to recover. He gets it, he matches Jack’s fear, but he can’t backdown when they’re making real changes that Jack is having a hard time seeing in the wake of losing Crutchie to an institution that is a large source of his trauma. He needed empathy and hope not an ass kicking and Davey delivered.

Without him that scene would’ve ended with Jack running away a lot sooner and a lot more permanently. Rant over. Hopefully this is semi-well articulated it’s late and I couldn’t sleep til I got this out.

[devildaisies]

i need to learn a trade. going to school for art while AI simultaneously takes off in a real and heinous way is so.

[plutoniumpossum]

Being a Plumber on a Election Year Gothic

(USA edition)

You tell a old man how soon he should have hot water, now that you've set the temperature on his new water heater. He replies by telling you unprompted that the supreme court is all catholic and is ruining everything. You wonder if the words "between 30 to 45 minutes" is secretly an activation code for something.

You had a late call for a water leak, its 10:30pm but you got it fixed. You hand the woman her invoice and tell her the total of the Bill. Its now 11:20pm and you've been told every possible way how the Earth is screwed due to global warming, pollution, politics (American), and how there's no hope for the future. The invoice is still unsigned and unpaid. You hope the skunk that's been wondering up the street towards the two of you doesn't get any closer.

You've been working on a broken sewer line under the house, when you crawl out from under it to give an update you're asked what you think about so-and-so running and how disgusting is that? You think that you've been crawling through sewage and you now have insulation in your hair.

The dorm kitchen sink is clogged and there's enough Drain-o in the line to start a meth lab. "Have you ever been sexually harassed while at work? That's way we have to vote Democratic, they care about women's rights." By the end of the job they've repeated the question so many times you begin to wonder if you're about to be.

You knock on the door and introduce yourself. Your customer was watching the news before they answered the door. They now want to talk about it and their political opinions before they remember the plumbing problem they called you for in the first place. You wish you had clocked out and taken lunch before this job.

You're doing a normal plumbing job at a normal house. The neighbor a few houses down has a display covering the front yard full of flags for both political parties, their candidates, and a few other opposing factions thrown in. You wonder what kind of toilet they have.

Your customer is making small talk with you as you walk through the door. They ask you what your political party alignment is. You wish you had fell through that rotten board on the porch and broken your leg.

[scaryscarecrows]

So on today's episode of Scary Learns to Fucking Plumb despite NOT GOING TO PLUMBER SCHOOL...

My under-the-sink has leaked when using the garbage disposal for...oh, about year. More than, actually. We mentioned it to Grandpa Landlord, who slapped another gasket on there and went, 'ya-ha-ha! It's fixed!'

It wasn't, but the leak started literally three months after my dad passed and we weren't up to fighting about it. So fine. Whatever. Leak fixed.

The leak has gotten really bad over the last few days. So we investigate, figuring that 'we'll just get another gasket and deal with the real problem later when we're less busy'.

Well. We go to put a new gasket on and.

AND.

The problem?

You ready?

The pipes don't connect.

They touch a little--the gasket probably helped lengthen it to keep the leak from becoming really bad--but they're not connected.

Turns out, a piece was either lost or damaged beyond use when we got a new sink in last year, AND RATHER THAN FIX IT AT THE TIME, the idiot handy-dude they called out just shoved everything together and bailed!

AND.

AND.

When we bring this up, because it's been long enough that we ARE willing to fight about it, Grandpa Landlord refuses to attempt anything because 'I don't know about that', tries to call the plumber (the same sexist, useless plumbers that left me to fix everything LAST TIME AND CALLED ME HONEY AND I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO JAIL FOR MURDER BUT I WILL), and gets butthurt when we say no. So hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to Lowe's we go at our earliest convenience to get a new pipe.

I swear to God. When it's time for Grandparent Landlords to go in a home, I am providing the Home with a free remote to smack them with. I will visit once every six weeks at best and that will be IT.

[candaru]

-Go to my bathroom to take a dump. Water all over the floor. Check inside toilet; looks drained, with some toilet paper at the bottom.

-"Dad, I think toilet has a leak."

-He gets upstairs and IMMEDIATELY starts lecturing me about making sure I flush all the way. "It probably just got clogged and you weren't paying attention and it overflowed."

-Tells me to go get the mop.

-"...We have a mop? Where is it?"

-Deeply annoyed, he says it's probably in the garage or something, acts like I should know this.

-I go check the garage. Only Swiffers, which is what me and mom use to clean the floors. I bring one up. "Like this?"

-"No, a REAL mop!"

-I tell him if we have a real mop, I don't know where it is. Annoyed, he comes down, looks through the garage. 10 minutes later, mutters angrily, "Mom doesn't use mops anymore?"

-If she ever did, it hasn't been for over 20 years. Because I didn't learn HOW to mop from my mom, I learned at my fucking work.

-"Well, I GUESS this is all we have. Bring the plunger up after me." He takes the Swiffer up and starts cleaning the water. I take the plunger, certain we won't need it.

-He tries to flush the toilet, expecting it to be clogged.

-It flushes completely fine.

-He checks the tank. Oops, looks like nothing is wrong with the tank. He looks back at the plunger, then at the toilet. Mutters, "it fills up really slow."

-"I know. That's why I figured it wasn't overflowing. Because it's my toilet, and I know it fills up so slowly that even when it does get clogged, you can flush it once and the bowl will only fill to the bottom of the brim before water stops pouring in. You'd have to repeatedly flush it to make it overflow."

-He looks around the basin. Oh, what a surprise, he finds where the seal is broken. There's a leak.

-By the way, you know how I mentioned that I only learned to mop at my job?

-I'm a fucking janitor.

My dad takes "mansplaining" to a whole new level.

[br1ghtestlight]

this is so funny to me cuz i actually think i would love to be a plumber. love to unclog a sink or toilet. its genuinely fun and satisfying to mee and im good at it but its such a cishet male dominated industry and most plumbing companies require like at least 3+ years of exprience so i dont see it happening. alt music however is wayy more accessible as a job

[heartbeetz]

There is literally always shit happening to me

[speelerconsultancy]

Job Opportunities with Competitive Salaries! 🚀💼

Vacancies available as follows:

1.6G Arc Welders

Electricians (Building)

Plumbers

Riggers

Civil Workers

Scaffolders

Masons

Steel Fixers

Carpenters

Civil Supervisors

Light Drivers

Heavy Drivers

Bus Drivers

Excavator Operators

Mobile Crane Operators

Roller Operators

Forklift Operators

Bobcat Operators

Benefits: 🍽 Free Food 🏠 Free Accommodation ⏰ 8-Hour Duty + Overtime 🏥 Medical Coverage 💸 Loan Assistance Provided!

📋 To Apply: 📩 reach@speelerconsultancy.in 📞+91 8919332574 WhatsApp: https://wa.me/918919332574 visit our website for more information. 🧐 👉🏻 www.speelerconsultancy.in

Construction experience required. ECR & ECNR passport holders can apply. Indian experience and Indian heavy driving licenses are accepted.

Apply now and secure your future with a rewarding career! 🎯🌟

[jentlemahae]

i hate how nowadays some people are trying to push the idea that shorter albums are better than longer ones yall are not real music lovers

[telomirage]

I took out the trash and recycling, checked the mail, got groceries and made it back home by like 10:02

N: look at u being a morning person!

me: 😂🤪 it is possible. but the agonies

[kariachi]

Can't find the post, but a while back I threw out the concept for an AU where Argit ends up on Earth and teaming up with Kevin as smols. Here's a little something to go with it.

The only thing more Plumber business than aliens on Earth is aliens making money off revealing themselves on Earth.

~~

Joel was not paid enough for his work. The normal shit that came with being a Plumber- mostly just law enforcement but secret really- was all fine, but this…

Could these kids have not waited another month or two before busting open the masquerade like a pinata?

Centuries the Plumbers had managed to keep the existence of aliens confined to conspiracy theory, with the aid of the Secret Scientists now that the population on Earth was growing, and a pair of children had managed to ruin it all in less than a week. The entire planet had the news now that there was an alien on Earth, flesh and blood and on live television. Beeman was losing his mind, the higher-ups were losing their minds, and Joel-

Joel was one of the few remaining active Plumbers on the planet. One of the very few in the United States. They had a job to prevent things like this, both unauthorized alien presence and the premature introduction of humanity to alien existence. In the end, he’d pulled the short straw of getting in touch with the kids, getting the Erinaen causing all this trouble safely into custody. Billings had asked about the procedure for dealing with somebody who turned the masquerade into so much confetti, but Joel himself was more concerned about potential threats to the little thing. Let the older, wiser people worry about what was to be done with them, his job was just to get them to a secure location.

He managed to track them to a hotel room provided by some talk show, slipping passed the front desk and up the stairs. All was quiet behind the door when he reached it, and he took a moment to double check it was the right one. Seemed unnatural for a pair of children that didn’t seem to have any proper adult oversight. But he had the right place and so turned on his translator before knocking.

“Who is it?” The voice came from just on the other side of the door, from the human half of the pair and already wary. Fantastic.

“Agent Tennyson,” he answered, then realized that might give the wrong idea, “with the Plumbers.”

There was less of a scuffle and more of a skitter behind the door. Joel left it for a few moments, but when no response came he pressed his ear against it. They were talking, he could hear them, but low enough he couldn’t make it out through the wood. The Erinaen was doing most of it, thankfully. They would be able to explain the situation, especially now there was a translator involved- he’d seen a few of those videos, no way did the pair have one between them- and with any luck he could have the little thing in the nearest base and be back to wedding planning in no time. With a small sigh, he straightened back out and waited.

And waited.

Waited.

He pressed his ear to the door again.

Silence.

With a sinking feeling, Joel knocked again to no response. Of-fucking-course.

“Hello?”

Nothing.

“I just need to talk to you.”

Nope.

With another, harsher sigh Joel turned his face to the ceiling, resisting the urge to stamp his foot. There went the easy way, just his fucking luck. Getting the door open wasn’t difficult, not when you had access to the tech he did and your homeworld was so far behind the curve. He was careful as he entered though, the human didn’t worry him but Erinaens were supposedly venomous. Not that there was anything to worry about, when he looked around to find nothing. No one. Just a clearly-used hotel room and an empty bag of chips.

He checked the bathroom. Under the beds. But the pair may as well have vanished into thin air. Shaking his head, fists clenching and unclenching, Joel snatched a pillow off the nearest bed to groan into.

This job was going to be an absolute bitch.

[thefaeriecreek]

I had a dream that somebody came up to me in a panic and said "bro bro, you gotta help me! Calamity Ganon exploded my toilet!!" and I go and see what they mean and this happens.

[terrorbirb]

The plumbing in our apartment is so bad we just have a hole in the ceiling because we got annoyed that they had to keep coming out, patching the pipe, patching the ceiling,and getting dust everywhere.

Anyway now the shower is having issues that involve more than 1 tool so it's officially the landlords fault.

[faroresson]

Mario movie was funny because going into a union trade that will never ever be oversaturated (big city means lots of water and hydro systems to maintain both residential and business) was treated by the bros' family about the exact same way my family handled me saying I wanted to be a graphic designer instead of a software engineer (Not. great but not The Worst?)