#please god let my dad be awake soon i don't wanna take the bus in this state

[trash-is-my-birthname]

adhd + pmdd + clinical depression + the horrors of capitalism + not enough sleep=

a Bad Fucking Time

[lordofthebigtimesupernatural]

I don't know if you accept prompts her or just on your ao3 account but I love your story so much it gives me so much feels!!! I saw the thing where Shiro didn't want Keith to come home broken like he was and how Keith had more scars on his chest with the dog tags. Could you do a chapter where Keith is trying to hide his PTSD and isn't being honest. Lance and shiro are of course worried. At some point Keith explodes or something happens and there's a confrontation from them both. Thankyou so much

Ah again, I’m sorry this took so long! But this prompt was so awesome! I take prompts here or on AO3 so I am glad you find me. I’m assuming you wanted Keith and Lance in the AU where they are in a relationship so I continued that with this ask! This is set after the one-shot where Lance proposed to Keith in the airport when he returned home. Ugh, this was so hard to write and so angsty but of course I put some fluff in and I loved it. Thank YOU so much for asking and enjoying this verse. I love you guys. Enjoy!

x.V.x

              Keithhad been home for almost six months now.

              Lifeshould be perfect. He was home at twenty-three. He didn’t lose any limbs likehis father had. He was engaged to agorgeous man. He was well loved and he had a new dog after Red’s sad passinglast year. That was a surprise that Keith had cried through when Lancepresented the German shepherd puppy with big floppy ears and a tongue lollingout of his mouth. The two of them named the puppy Apollo and the dog wasmassive now.

              Stilllife should be perfect for Keith.

              Exceptit wasn’t.

              Keithhad scars. Lots of them. On his face. His neck and especially on his chest.Sometimes he went to be with a shirt on while Lance went shirtless, not becausehe was embarrassed by them but because of what they reminded Keith. Of the horrors, he’d faced while in the army.

              Keithwould never regret his decision to enlist and would always be proud to haveserved his home but that didn’t mean he came out unscathed. He’d watchedfriends, brothers die in his arms oralone. He’d been wounded. He’d killed people. He’d seen people – innocent peopledie. Children. Mothers. Fathers.

              Keithdidn’t sleep much anymore because of the nightmares. He always faked fallingasleep when he and Lance went to bed but usually would lie awake for hoursuntil dawn and only then could he catch a couple hours of sleep and still be upbefore Lance. He told Lance that his body was still in the military and keptwaking up early. Lance believed him.

              Keith’sdad had tried to see his son as often as he could and they usually went tolunch or dinner once a week, sometimes more if Lance joined them. Shiro wascareful to avoid any topics involving his enlistment but his eyes would lingeron the scars poking out from Keith’s collar and his eyes would get sad. Keithalways tried to cheer up his dad by asking about his service dog program andsoon enough the two of them would be talking about what dogs to pair up withVeterans they both knew.

              But itwas more than just the nightmares.

              Keithhad sold his car just after his enlistment, claiming that Lance or Shiro coulddrive him around whenever he was in town since it was a short time frame. AfterKeith, had returned home, Lance had offered to help Keith buy a car togetherand get him a new one.

              Keith didn’thave the heart to tell him that he felt claustrophobic in cars now, that he wasterrified a missile was going to tip the car over and explode. He didn’t havethe heart to tell Lance that he didn’t like trucks either because sometimes theengine sounded like explosions and Keith would feel as if he were back there.

              InsteadKeith lied and said they should be focusing on money for the wedding and thathe was fine taking the bus for a while.

              Keithnever took the bus. He walked everywhere.

              Keithhated going to crowded places and had to hide in the bathroom for an hour whenhe and his family had gone to a midnight premier movie where the theater was packed with people. He’d told Hunk thatit was something he ate and immediately everyone went home with him.

              Keithdidn’t want to keep his friends from having a good time or going out and soonenough he found himself going out less and less, in fear that he would makethem want to go home because he wanted to go home. He didn’t want to feel likea burden to anyone. This would all pass in due time. He would be fine.

              Look athis dad. His dad was amazing.

              Whyshould he be so weak?

              Keithfelt like a ticking tomb bomb and even he wasn’t aware of when it would finallygo off. He just hoped that he would be alone when it did happen.

x.V.x.

              Thingsnever work out the way we hope though, do they?

              The dayhad been just like any other. Keith and Lance were visiting Shiro at hisshelter to discuss dates for their wedding. Keith and Lance had finally settledon a date in January, close to their anniversary and in Lance’s favorite timeof the year. Hunk and Pidge were coming to meet up with them along with Pidge’solder brother Matt.

              Keithwas on edge all day. He was exhausted from not getting enough sleep. He wasjittery from reoccurring nightmares when he did sleep and he was starting tohave some trouble differing between reality and his memories. He’d pulled ablack baseball cap over his head, and tried to cover his face as much aspossible while still happily engaging in a conversation with his dad and fiancé.But he was struggling to keep up after a while and was resorting to one wordanswers.

              “Keith,are you feeling alright?” Shiro finally asked when his son had said no morethan three words in an hour, even though he knewthat Keith was thrilled to get married. Even Lance was noticing something offwith his fiancé. Shiro had a better idea of what could be bothering Keith,judging from his poster, his dull eyes(god this was what Shiro had been terrified about; how can he help his baby?).

              Lanceput the back of hand to Keith’s forehead and Shiro caught the slight flinch. “Youfeel a little warm babe. Do you wanna go home?”

              “No!”Keith said quickly, pulling his hand down further over his face and rubbing hisarms. Lance had grabbed one of Keith’s hand, which had more scars than hisother hand and slowly traced each one of the scars. Normally, Keith would calmdown at this but he seemed to only be winding up tighter and tighter. “No, wejust got here and I want to spend time with you and my dad!”

              “Keith,honey, it’s okay.” Shiro said softly. Despite growing up, Keith was neverbothered that Shiro would still give him nicknames. “If you’re not feelingokay, you should go home and rest.”

              “I’mfine dad.” Keith snapped at Shiro much to everyone’s surprise. “Stop babyingme.”

              “No oneis babying you.” Lance frowned. “If you’re not feeling well we can go home, soyou can get better! We can see Shiro tomorrow or any day.”

              “I wantto see you guys now.” Keith hissed.

              “Keith,don’t be a baby. Let’s go.” Lance argued hotly and Keith’s eyes narrowed.

              “Quit fuckingbossing me around Lance. You’re not in charge of me.” Keith rolled his eyes andignored Lance’s reply.

              “Keith,stop it. Don’t talk to Lance like that.” Shiro scolded and could see that thesituation was escalating. He’d seen firsthand how soldiers who didn’t deal withtheir PTSD acted and Shiro was ashamed that he hadn’t seen this sooner. He hadjust prayed that Keith wouldn’t have to suffer like he had. Keith’s entire bodywas vibrating and he squeezed his hands into fists on his lap.

              Just ashe was about to shout at his dad and fiancé, a body slammed into Keith frombehind and he was jolted into the counted. Just as the stranger was about toapologize, Keith shoved himself off the counter and snatched the guys armbefore twisting it behind his back. The young man cried out and apologized overand over while Keith shoved him to the ground.

              “Getdown! Get down!” Keith commanded, hat falling off his face and Shiro’s heartsunk.

              “Keith!Stop it! What are you doing?!” Lance cried hysterically and tried to grabKeith, only to be stopped by Shiro.

              “Stop.He’s not here anymore.” Shiro whispered.

              Lancegawked. “What do you mean?! He’s right there.”

              “No Imean, he’s not here. He’s back at war.” Shiro said hoarsely and Lance’s eyeswidened. The stranger cried out again and Lance could see a crowd beginning togather around the shelter and his heart began hammering in his chest.

              Beforeanyone could move, Shiro had grabbed both of Keith’s arm and pulled Keith backagainst his chest. Shiro was bigger in size, but Keith was taller and had themost recent training. Still, even with Keith’s strength, Shiro managed to pullhis son off the stranger and did the one thing that he had hoped he would never do to another person.

              Especiallyhis son.

              He pulledKeith to the ground and straddled over him, forcing Keith to the ground.

              “Let mego, you fuck! Let me go. My team is coming, they’ll be here for me!” Keith’seyes were crazy wild and darting all around the room, unseeing in the present.Sweat was building on his pale face and Shiro’s heart cracked.

              “Lance,get everyone out of here. Now!” Shiro yelled over his shoulder, grunting whenone of Keith’s boots hit him in the chest. He scrambled to keep himself on topof Keith when Keith tried to buck out of his grip. Lance was stunned for amoment, but jumped into action after a loud shout from Keith.

              Heshoved the poor stranger out of the shelter and ushered everyone else outbefore locking the main door and closing any blinds.

              “Keith,calm down! It’s July 26. You’re home. You’re in my service dog shelter withLance. My name is Takashi Shirogane and I’m your father.” Shiro pleaded whenLance stood beside them still shaking. Lance couldn’t believe that Keith wasstill fighting so desperately against his own father.

              “Youstay away from my dad!” Keith hissed eyes still unfocused.

              “Keith!It is me, your dad! And Lance is here too. You remember your fiancé, right?”Shiro asked softly.

              “Keithplease come back to us. Please.” Lance’s voice cracked with tears and he almostfeel to his knees.

              “Youkeep him out of this! He has nothing to do with his worry! If you touch him, I’llkill you!” Keith screamed and slammed his entire body back against the ground.Shiro struggled tiredly against his son, unsure of how much longer he couldhold his son done. Physically and mentally.

              “Youleave them out of this. Leave them alone. Leave them – please. Don’t hurt them.”Shiro and Lance were both stunned when Keith’s struggles slowed down and hebegan to sob. His body went limp in Shiro’s arm as tears rolled down his faceand Shiro was quicker than lightning to get off Keith. Carefully he began tostroke Keith’s cheek as Keith leaned into the touch.

              “Keith,please come back. Your dad is safe. I’m safe.” Lance begged and placed Keith’shead in his lap. It took a few more long, long minutes of Keith sobbing andspeaking incoherent sentences before he finally opened his eyes again and looked.

              “Lance?Dad?”

              “OhKeith!” Lance burst into tears and even Shiro felt a few tears trail down hischeeks. Keith frowned tiredly and blinked a few times as he tried to get hisbearings. It was a feeling that Shiro was all too familiar with, so he pushedKeith down gently when he tried to sit up.

              “Staydown. It’s okay. You must be exhausted.” Shiro said softly as he continued tostroke Keith’s cheek, smiling weakly when Keith leaned into the touch.

              “You’recrying? Why?” Keith asked tiredly.

              “Whydidn’t you tell us it was so bad?” Lance croaked and Keith frowned inconfusion. “Your PTSD.” At this, Keith could put two and two together and he washorrified to think that his dad and his love had just seen him fall apart. Atthis, he could feel new tears pooling behind his eyes and his throat was slowlytightening. How could he let this happen?

              “I’msorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Keith said, bursting into new tears, unashamed ashe cried like he had when he was no more than a baby. He felt his dad and Lancesit him upright before they both engulfed him in a hug and Keith clung to them desperately.“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

              “NoKeith, we’re sorry. We’re sorry you’ve been struggling all alone.” Lancewhispered softly and found his own tears drying.

              “But youdon’t have to be alone anymore. We are here to help you. Through the good andthe bad.” Shiro said softly. “Please don’t hide it anymore. It only gets worse.Believe me.” Keith continued to cry but Lance and Shiro weren’t worried aboutit. This was what Keith needed; in order to heal.

              Heneeded to cry and he needed to let go.

              You’re not alone Keith. You never were.