#pilesofscoundrels

[karlgrove]

Karl felt Julian’s arm slip through his, and despite everything—the sickness, the weight of the night ahead—he smiled. It wasn’t just the feel of Julian’s touch but the simple fact that, in moments like this, they could still find each other. Still hold on. He looked down at Julian, catching the little grin that made him look more like the person Karl had fallen for, and a warm chuckle escaped him.

"Yes, we are two… badasses," Karl repeated with a playful smirk, his tone lighter than before. For a brief moment, the tension eased, and he let himself believe it. "And tonight’s just another night for us to prove it."

They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Karl paused for a second, letting Julian cling to him a little tighter. It was reassuring in a way, knowing they could still offer each other comfort even with all the chaos. With a soft squeeze of Julian’s arm, he led them toward the car and while Julian was right; with the money Karl had, he could avoid a lot of the mess, keep the stash full, and stay out of the darker parts of this world.. he knew it wasn’t that simple. He couldn't just walk away from Rip. There was more to it than Julian knew, more than he could ever tell him.

“Look,” Karl started, voice careful “ I do appreciate the tip, but it’s not just about the money. Rip… as much of a wanker as he is, he’s.. familiar now and discreet. I don’t want to risk dealing with someone new. That’s exactly how things go sideways fast, you know?”

He avoided Julian’s gaze, focusing on his hands as he gripped the steering wheel, knowing full well that wasn’t the whole truth. But it was enough of a lie to cover his real reasons. If he admitted how deep his crush on Rip went, or that he'd already been to his place once, that’d be the end of it. He couldn’t let Julian know that.

Karl started the car, turning up the volume on the radio to fill the silence. The familiar hum of the engine and the sound of music gave him something to focus on other than the nagging ache inside. “Besides, you know how much this community is filled with catty gossips, if word got back to Simone what her aids riddled husband who sleeps with men is up to now, I’d never be allowed out of the house again.” He half-smiled, the joke only halfway kidding. Simone would lose her mind if she knew the full extent of what was going on, and Karl couldn’t deal with that on top of everything else.-- Especially not Rip. She knew HE knew better.

As they drove through the city, Karl tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, a habit he had unknowingly picked up from Julian, something to do when you couldn't appease that addiction. The rhythm matched the anxious thoughts racing through his mind. He tried to push the thought of it out of his head, but the need gnawed at him all the same. The fix was close now, and though he was doing everything to stay calm, the drive felt longer than it should.

Parking in the bank parking lot . He planned to take out a bit .. extra. So that he could get them something to eat for lunch too. Even though he was pretty sure neither of them were actually hungry or thinking about food.

See what’s become of me

@karlgrove <3

He couldn’t tell if Muriel was really his friend or if she used him for a roof over her head while escaping her family but through the blur of substances and loud music and mindnumbing TV it sure as hell felt like it. She shared too, which he could very much appreciate and she only got angry when they ran out. Which was something he understood as well but he’d rather die than go to Rip about… this. He didn’t plan for this go on anyway, a week at most… how long had it been… Regardless, they managed just fine for the most part and whenever the phone rang, he just turned the music up louder.

-

Somewhere in an ridiculously overpriced apartment in New Hampshire, Blair was trying to concentrate on a book but no matter how hard she tried, one thing just would not leave her mind alone. Julian. He hadn’t called to be a sappy idiot or to rant about minor inconveniences or to beg her to come back in a while and not once did he pick up the phone or call her back either.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t trust him, even after all that happened she did but she had also known him far too long to ignore it completely. Blair was getting worried and even though Clay insisted he’d be just fine, her gut feeling told a different story.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to get a hold of the Grove family either way but Julian, not being an idiot for once, had told her the phone number in case something happened. And when the time seemed rather reasonable to her and the nervous feeling became too much, she made her call.

“Hello! It’s me, Blair, there’s something I want to talk about…” the young woman would begin once she reached somebody, twirling her locks with a finger to calm herself down as she voiced her concerns about Julian. How she couldn’t reach him, how she had a really bad feeling and how she was most likely overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and how she found herself worrying regardless.

[karlgrove]

Karl pocketed the cash, trying to mask over the tremble in his hands. He didn't want to let Julian see the worst of it, though he knew the younger man wasn’t blind to what was happening. He wasn’t ready to talk about that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

"hmm?" Karl questioned as they got back into the car, and Julian mentioned the sea, Karl felt a flicker of something hopeful. A drive to the coast? That could be just what they needed—both of them. A break from the city, from Rip, from the endless cycle they seemed to be caught in. The idea of the sea brought back memories for him too, though not all of them good. But maybe, just maybe, they could make some new ones.

"On the contrary. Not a silly idea at all," Karl cooed, his voice softer, more encouraging. He looked over at Julian, catching the moment of doubt in his eyes. "A delightful idea. Nothing but fresh air, and the sea… it’ll do us good." He started the car again, the engine rumbling to life beneath them as he turned onto the road.

As they drove, Karl turned down the music, letting the sound of the city slowly fade into the distance as they made their way toward the coast. The air seemed lighter the farther they got from their neighborhoods, and for a moment, Karl allowed himself to relax. He reached over, resting his hand on Julian’s knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Let’s make some new memories, what do you say?" Karl said with a faint smile. He wanted to give him something more than the mess they kept finding themselves in.

He stopped by a fast food chain and ordered a breakfast to go. Though surely neither of them were probably going to eat more than a bite of them

Then, the car sped along the highway, toward the coastal streets , signaling and complaining when someone else cut him off, but over all an easy cruise.

" You know… "

Karl started after a few more moments of radio music. The scent of the bags contents filling the cab of the car.

" You really should be wearing your safety belt. "

He had glanced over at him , then frowned at himself. " Then again- so should I" what has become of him? It used to be the first thing he was concerned with. The safety of his precious cargo which didn't mean his drugs either. "Oh dear. "

See what’s become of me

@karlgrove <3

He couldn’t tell if Muriel was really his friend or if she used him for a roof over her head while escaping her family but through the blur of substances and loud music and mindnumbing TV it sure as hell felt like it. She shared too, which he could very much appreciate and she only got angry when they ran out. Which was something he understood as well but he’d rather die than go to Rip about… this. He didn’t plan for this go on anyway, a week at most… how long had it been… Regardless, they managed just fine for the most part and whenever the phone rang, he just turned the music up louder.

-

Somewhere in an ridiculously overpriced apartment in New Hampshire, Blair was trying to concentrate on a book but no matter how hard she tried, one thing just would not leave her mind alone. Julian. He hadn’t called to be a sappy idiot or to rant about minor inconveniences or to beg her to come back in a while and not once did he pick up the phone or call her back either.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t trust him, even after all that happened she did but she had also known him far too long to ignore it completely. Blair was getting worried and even though Clay insisted he’d be just fine, her gut feeling told a different story.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to get a hold of the Grove family either way but Julian, not being an idiot for once, had told her the phone number in case something happened. And when the time seemed rather reasonable to her and the nervous feeling became too much, she made her call.

“Hello! It’s me, Blair, there’s something I want to talk about…” the young woman would begin once she reached somebody, twirling her locks with a finger to calm herself down as she voiced her concerns about Julian. How she couldn’t reach him, how she had a really bad feeling and how she was most likely overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and how she found herself worrying regardless.

[karlgrove]

Once upon a time, Karl Grove despised the dealer with the blonde hair and smug attitude. Rip had been nothing more than a parasite in Karl’s eyes—someone who preyed on the weak and vulnerable, someone Karl swore he’d never need. Back then, Karl had been strong, confident, a man who could stand his ground without flinching. He’d protected Julian, fought to keep him away from the likes of Rip.

But that was a different time.

Now, as Karl sat with Julian, the weight of his own body felt heavier than it used to. His strength wasn’t what it once was, and the drugs… they were changing him faster than he cared to admit. He could feel it in the way his hands trembled when he wasn’t high, in the aches that pulsed through his body, exacerbated by the illness that was slowly eating him alive. The drugs were supposed to numb him, but they were doing more than that. They were stripping away parts of him, one by one, and won't stop until even Karl couldn’t recognize himself.

His confidence was slipping, piece by piece. The man he used to be—the one who looked down on people like Rip—was fading away. Now, Rip was a lifeline. The man Karl once despised had become someone he needed, and that realization stung more than he’d ever admit. A reminder of how much he had already lost, how much more he had to lose if he didn’t keep it together.

And yet, despite it all, he couldn’t stop. Couldn’t pull away. Rip’s grip was tightening, and Karl hated it, but he hated the idea of losing himself even more.

Karl reached out, his hand trembling slightly as he took Julian’s in his own. The touch was gentle, but there was a quiet desperation in the way his fingers closed around Julian’s. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just held on, like he was trying to ground himself, to steady the chaos inside. "Do you really think sugarcoating my future will help me in anyway? On the contrary. "

Karl stood up, still holding Julian’s hand as he gently pulled him to his feet. His movements were slow but deliberate, helping Julian get dressed without a word. There was a tenderness in how he handed over Julian’s jacket, how he straightened the collar before guiding him toward the door.

“We’ll make it to tonight,” Karl said softly, his voice steady despite the weight in his chest. He gave Julian’s hand a final squeeze before releasing it, grabbing his own jacket from the hook by the door. With a deep breath, he pushed open the door of the loft, the evening air rushing in like a reminder of the world outside.

See what’s become of me

@karlgrove <3

He couldn’t tell if Muriel was really his friend or if she used him for a roof over her head while escaping her family but through the blur of substances and loud music and mindnumbing TV it sure as hell felt like it. She shared too, which he could very much appreciate and she only got angry when they ran out. Which was something he understood as well but he’d rather die than go to Rip about… this. He didn’t plan for this go on anyway, a week at most… how long had it been… Regardless, they managed just fine for the most part and whenever the phone rang, he just turned the music up louder.

-

Somewhere in an ridiculously overpriced apartment in New Hampshire, Blair was trying to concentrate on a book but no matter how hard she tried, one thing just would not leave her mind alone. Julian. He hadn’t called to be a sappy idiot or to rant about minor inconveniences or to beg her to come back in a while and not once did he pick up the phone or call her back either.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t trust him, even after all that happened she did but she had also known him far too long to ignore it completely. Blair was getting worried and even though Clay insisted he’d be just fine, her gut feeling told a different story.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to get a hold of the Grove family either way but Julian, not being an idiot for once, had told her the phone number in case something happened. And when the time seemed rather reasonable to her and the nervous feeling became too much, she made her call.

“Hello! It’s me, Blair, there’s something I want to talk about…” the young woman would begin once she reached somebody, twirling her locks with a finger to calm herself down as she voiced her concerns about Julian. How she couldn’t reach him, how she had a really bad feeling and how she was most likely overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and how she found herself worrying regardless.

[karlgrove]

Karl watched Julian carefully, his own heart pounding a bit faster than it should have been. He could see the worry behind Julian’s faint smile, the way his hands shook ever so slightly as he lit his cigarette. That small flicker of doubt in Julian’s eyes was enough to make Karl feel guilty for a moment—just for a moment. He swallowed hard, pushing down the uncomfortable feelings and slipping into that familiar role of the smooth talker, the fixer, the charmer.

"Well, I suppose he isn't all bad. Rip does have his uses, you know." He let the words hang in the air, watching Julian’s reaction carefully. It was the kind of statement that could mean a lot of things, and Karl wanted it that way. Maybe Julian would assume he was talking about the drugs—after all, that was their most pressing need right now.

Stubborn Julian, Karl wasn't letting him off that easy this time. He didn't realize he was staring down the face of his future.

“No, Darling,” Karl said softly, reaching out to take the cigarette from his fingers and gently place it back in the ashtray. “You’re not staying here. Not alone. That’s the worst thing you could do right now.”

He stood up from the bed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to collect himself as he paced the room for a second. He knew how fragile Julian could get, especially in moments like this when everything was spinning out of control. And truthfully, Karl didn’t trust leaving him here by himself. Julian’s mind would wander, and Karl knew where it would end up. In a search for something—anything—to numb the edge.“If you stay here, you’ll just make yourself crazy. " Thumb gently stroking the side of Julian’s neck, a small gesture of affection.

“Besides I--I need you with me, you see” Karl insisted, his voice a bit firmer this time. He turned back to Julian, meeting his gaze with those soft eyes he knew Julian couldn’t resist. “You know how I get… I can’t go out there alone, not today. What if I have one of my… episodes? You’ve seen it before.” He was exaggerating, of course, but not by much.

Karl stepped closer, placing a hand on Julian’s shoulder. “Come with me. We’ll fetch the money, maybe grab a small bite to eat, just ..keep busy. Help me keep my mind off things until tonight. And I need you there with me, okay?”

See what’s become of me

@karlgrove <3

He couldn’t tell if Muriel was really his friend or if she used him for a roof over her head while escaping her family but through the blur of substances and loud music and mindnumbing TV it sure as hell felt like it. She shared too, which he could very much appreciate and she only got angry when they ran out. Which was something he understood as well but he’d rather die than go to Rip about… this. He didn’t plan for this go on anyway, a week at most… how long had it been… Regardless, they managed just fine for the most part and whenever the phone rang, he just turned the music up louder.

-

Somewhere in an ridiculously overpriced apartment in New Hampshire, Blair was trying to concentrate on a book but no matter how hard she tried, one thing just would not leave her mind alone. Julian. He hadn’t called to be a sappy idiot or to rant about minor inconveniences or to beg her to come back in a while and not once did he pick up the phone or call her back either.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t trust him, even after all that happened she did but she had also known him far too long to ignore it completely. Blair was getting worried and even though Clay insisted he’d be just fine, her gut feeling told a different story.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to get a hold of the Grove family either way but Julian, not being an idiot for once, had told her the phone number in case something happened. And when the time seemed rather reasonable to her and the nervous feeling became too much, she made her call.

“Hello! It’s me, Blair, there’s something I want to talk about…” the young woman would begin once she reached somebody, twirling her locks with a finger to calm herself down as she voiced her concerns about Julian. How she couldn’t reach him, how she had a really bad feeling and how she was most likely overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and how she found herself worrying regardless.

[karlgrove]

Karl’s heart was still racing, his mind reeling from the way Rip had so casually put him in his place.

When Julian reached out, touching his face and noticing the color in his cheeks, Karl instinctively flinched, face hot to the touch, though he quickly caught himself, forcing a small smile. Don’t let him see how much Rip got to you, he thought. Julian was already rattled enough.

"Blushing? Oh, come now, darling, you're making too much of this," Karl said, doing his best to laugh it off, though it came out a bit strained. “It’s.. not what you think.”

He sat up straighter, running a hand through his hair as he composed himself. He wasn’t about to let Julian spiral over this, not when things were already so tense. Karl always had the answers, always knew how to smooth things over. That was his job here, wasn’t it? To keep Julian from falling apart?

“It’s just… save Simone no one’s ever talked to me like that before,” he ‘admitted,’ his voice softening as if this were some grand confession. “I’m not used to it, that’s all. It .. caught me off guard.” He shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, though his pulse was still racing, the lingering blush stubborn on his cheeks.

Karl leaned over, resting a hand on Julian’s knee, hoping to ground him as much as himself. “I was just embarrassed for a moment, alright? But that’s all it is. I.. still find him utterly detestable .” He gave a quick, charming smile with the lie, the kind that usually smoothed things over.

But inside, Karl new otherwise. He could not stick with just one man .. never could. And while he did love Julian, Rip’s words had shaken him, and it wasn’t just the humiliation. He pushed those thoughts down, hard, focusing instead on the present. Keep control.

As Julian fiddled with the cigarette pack, Karl sighed and leaned back on the bed. “And no, there’s nothing left.” He grunts, knowing full well they were both on edge. “We’ll ...just have to make do until tonight.”

Karl drummed his fingers against the bed, glancing at the clock on the wall. The minutes seemed to drag,

"Right." Karl began, suddenly sitting up, trying to inject some enthusiasm into his voice. "How about we go out? Get some fresh air. Maybe we can stop by the bank, make a quick withdrawal? You know, just to be ready for tonight—have everything sorted."

As soon as the word "withdrawal" left his lips, Karl winced. His mouth snapped shut for a second, and he inwardly cursed himself for his poor choice of words. He knew better than to say something like that in their current state.

"Oops faux pas," Karl muttered quickly, glancing at Julian with a sheepish expression. "Bad choice of words. You know what I mean—"

See what’s become of me

@karlgrove <3

He couldn’t tell if Muriel was really his friend or if she used him for a roof over her head while escaping her family but through the blur of substances and loud music and mindnumbing TV it sure as hell felt like it. She shared too, which he could very much appreciate and she only got angry when they ran out. Which was something he understood as well but he’d rather die than go to Rip about… this. He didn’t plan for this go on anyway, a week at most… how long had it been… Regardless, they managed just fine for the most part and whenever the phone rang, he just turned the music up louder.

-

Somewhere in an ridiculously overpriced apartment in New Hampshire, Blair was trying to concentrate on a book but no matter how hard she tried, one thing just would not leave her mind alone. Julian. He hadn’t called to be a sappy idiot or to rant about minor inconveniences or to beg her to come back in a while and not once did he pick up the phone or call her back either.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t trust him, even after all that happened she did but she had also known him far too long to ignore it completely. Blair was getting worried and even though Clay insisted he’d be just fine, her gut feeling told a different story.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to get a hold of the Grove family either way but Julian, not being an idiot for once, had told her the phone number in case something happened. And when the time seemed rather reasonable to her and the nervous feeling became too much, she made her call.

“Hello! It’s me, Blair, there’s something I want to talk about…” the young woman would begin once she reached somebody, twirling her locks with a finger to calm herself down as she voiced her concerns about Julian. How she couldn’t reach him, how she had a really bad feeling and how she was most likely overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and how she found herself worrying regardless.

[karlgrove]

Karl froze, Rip’s sharp words cutting through him like ice. He wasn’t used to that—being talked to like he was beneath someone. He’d grown far too accustomed to using his charm, his smooth words, and his money to get what he wanted. But Rip? Rip didn’t play by those rules.

For a second, Karl’s face burned, a flush creeping up his neck and to his cheeks. He felt exposed, humiliated even, and the worst part?… it didn’t make him want Rip less. Quite the opposite.

He turned away slightly, making sure Julian couldn’t see the color rising in his face. Karl always had control, always knew what to say, how to act, how to charm others to bend to his will. But now, here he was, caught off guard, stumbling over his words.

“I… I—,” he started, trying to pull himself together, but his voice faltered. He clenched his jaw, eyes narrowing as he tried to recover. Frozen, his mouth slightly open as he struggled to come up with a retort. He was Karl Grove, for God’s sake—smooth, charming, untouchable. Yet, Rip had knocked him off balance with just a few harsh words. His fingers trembled slightly as he held the phone, heart racing in a way that had nothing to do with drugs.

He stammered out a weak, "I– I just thought–," but stopped, realizing how foolish it sounded. God, get it together, he scolded himself internally. "I- understand, I'm sorry. "

With his back to Julian, Karl let out a slow, shaky breath, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Tonight,” Karl finally muttered, lowering the phone and his voice. A strange mixture of defeat and longing settling in his gut. “We’ll be there.” He hands the phone back over. Rip owned them both now and it was clear.

See what’s become of me

@karlgrove <3

He couldn’t tell if Muriel was really his friend or if she used him for a roof over her head while escaping her family but through the blur of substances and loud music and mindnumbing TV it sure as hell felt like it. She shared too, which he could very much appreciate and she only got angry when they ran out. Which was something he understood as well but he’d rather die than go to Rip about… this. He didn’t plan for this go on anyway, a week at most… how long had it been… Regardless, they managed just fine for the most part and whenever the phone rang, he just turned the music up louder.

-

Somewhere in an ridiculously overpriced apartment in New Hampshire, Blair was trying to concentrate on a book but no matter how hard she tried, one thing just would not leave her mind alone. Julian. He hadn’t called to be a sappy idiot or to rant about minor inconveniences or to beg her to come back in a while and not once did he pick up the phone or call her back either.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t trust him, even after all that happened she did but she had also known him far too long to ignore it completely. Blair was getting worried and even though Clay insisted he’d be just fine, her gut feeling told a different story.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to get a hold of the Grove family either way but Julian, not being an idiot for once, had told her the phone number in case something happened. And when the time seemed rather reasonable to her and the nervous feeling became too much, she made her call.

“Hello! It’s me, Blair, there’s something I want to talk about…” the young woman would begin once she reached somebody, twirling her locks with a finger to calm herself down as she voiced her concerns about Julian. How she couldn’t reach him, how she had a really bad feeling and how she was most likely overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and how she found herself worrying regardless.

[karlgrove]

Karl's lips lingered on Julian’s neck, but the moment was shattered by the shrill ring of the phone. He could feel Julian's body tense beneath him, and when he pulled away to grab the phone, Karl didn’t need to ask who was on the other end. That familiar pull gripped his gut, tightening with butterflies.

Of course, it was Rip.

Karl sat back, running a hand through his hair, already feeling the irritation bubbling up inside him. He couldn’t stop thinking about Rip—about that magnetism, that confidence, that danger, that feeling he couldn’t quite shake.

Karl's jaw clenched the moment Julian mentioned Rip's casual dismissal. Busy? Busy? That wasn’t going to work—not when Karl was already halfway unraveling, too late for his liking. His body was already craving what only Rip could give him, and worse, the idea of seeing Rip was becoming just as much about seeing him than it was about the drugs. Karl wasn’t just addicted to the highs; he was hooked on the man behind them, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

"Tell him we’re not waiting until evening," Karl said sharply, sitting up straighter. His mind was racing, already plotting. He wasn’t some nobody Rip could shove to the bottom of the list. "Tell him I’ll make it worth his while. I’ll... pay extra if he expedites that… delivery."

The words tasted bitter in his mouth, but he forced himself to sound nonchalant, as if this wasn’t a plea, but a simple transaction. He couldn’t let Julian see just how desperate he was becoming. He smiled—charming as always— one that didn’t reach his eyes.

"Go on, darling," Karl urged softly, leaning back against the pillows, though his body remained tense. "Tell him I’m feeling generous today."

See what’s become of me

@karlgrove <3

He couldn’t tell if Muriel was really his friend or if she used him for a roof over her head while escaping her family but through the blur of substances and loud music and mindnumbing TV it sure as hell felt like it. She shared too, which he could very much appreciate and she only got angry when they ran out. Which was something he understood as well but he’d rather die than go to Rip about… this. He didn’t plan for this go on anyway, a week at most… how long had it been… Regardless, they managed just fine for the most part and whenever the phone rang, he just turned the music up louder.

-

Somewhere in an ridiculously overpriced apartment in New Hampshire, Blair was trying to concentrate on a book but no matter how hard she tried, one thing just would not leave her mind alone. Julian. He hadn’t called to be a sappy idiot or to rant about minor inconveniences or to beg her to come back in a while and not once did he pick up the phone or call her back either.

And it wasn’t like she didn’t trust him, even after all that happened she did but she had also known him far too long to ignore it completely. Blair was getting worried and even though Clay insisted he’d be just fine, her gut feeling told a different story.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to get a hold of the Grove family either way but Julian, not being an idiot for once, had told her the phone number in case something happened. And when the time seemed rather reasonable to her and the nervous feeling became too much, she made her call.

“Hello! It’s me, Blair, there’s something I want to talk about…” the young woman would begin once she reached somebody, twirling her locks with a finger to calm herself down as she voiced her concerns about Julian. How she couldn’t reach him, how she had a really bad feeling and how she was most likely overreacting and there was nothing to worry about and how she found herself worrying regardless.