#phoning it in [ooc]

[mattoidmeerkat]

first and last Bathena kiss of each season for anonymous

[swingingthehatchetnow]

r/AITA

u/WigglyWigg • 3y

AITA for nuking Moscow?

This past Friday, I (M, ̶̨̡̢̧̨̘̫̫̻͙̣͕̺̟̽̃̀͋́̚̚͜ ̷̡̭̜̩͕̠̦̗̟̟̫̖͇͎̽̌̾̿̌̈́̓̄̏̌̇̚͜͜ ) was at home when the President of the United States (M, >35) deployed a nuclear bomby-wom with the intent to destroy me. I redirected the nuke for my own self preservation, and in the process, pushed it through a dimensional gateway into Moscow, obliterating it in the process. AITA?

⬆️ 1.4k | ⬇️ | 💬384

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TheBastardsBack • 3y

NTA. Your house, your rules, man.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 1.1k ⬇️

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SingAlongPokotho • 3y

NTA. It was self defense. Also didn’t the President enter your home without a warrant? That’s mega sus. Def NTA

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 974 ⬇️

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WileySnake • 3y

NTA. See folks, this is what America has come to. What the world has come to. Ain’t it a shame.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 950 ⬇️

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QueenB_itch • 3y

NTA. Good.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 925 ⬇️

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Blink1nceBlink2wice • 3y

NTA. u/SingAlongPokey literally sent a meteor to a small town. Can’t be worse than that lmao

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 899 ⬇️

| SingAlongPokotho • 3y

| Didnt you literally try to tear a family apart

| at your personal amusement park?

… ↩️ ⬆️ -2 ⬇️

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Jaegerbomb • 3y

Ha ha ha NTA

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 782 ⬇️

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Mouthface • 3y

NTA it was really funny.

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 670 ⬇️

| Mouthface • 3y

| Tasty too tbh. Yum yum.

 … ↩️ ⬆️ 130⬇️

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MoreBadder • 3y

r/MURICA

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 669 ⬇️

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Idontlikemusicals • 3y

NTA. Fuck Moscow. Fuck ‘em straight to hell

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 602 ⬇️

| Shitlips • 3y

| Hey, at least they aren’t Cl*vesdale.

| Assholes

… ↩️ ⬆️ 1.9k ⬇️

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SpotlightOnMe • 3y

Wtf I literally predicted this exact scenario 20 years ago????

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 592 ⬇️

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X_Lee • 3y

u/notaPEIP are you seeing this?

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ 577 ⬇️

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WitchlessWeb • 3y

YTA! That kills people!!

… ↩️ Reply ⬆️ -1.5k ⬇️

[emmyspov]

Prioritise yourself (Thranduil x Reader)

author's note: happy easter to everyone who celebrates it and a happy weekend to all either way🪻this is honestly one of the most scary things i've posted because it's something so personal that i relate to a lot, but i thought maybe someone else might need it, too🥺 please always remember that nothing will ever be more important than your health and well-being 🩷

warnings: symptoms of burnout, lack of sleep, exhaustion, negative self-talk, skipping meals, mentions of food, nudity (for taking a bath together) - please please please let me know if I forgot something! 🩷

word count: 1.9k

edit is mine, all pics are from pinterest :)

It had seemed like a smart idea when you offered Thranduil to help him with all the paperwork.

His days were filled with meetings and more often than not he only returned to your chambers once it was dark already.

So, for the past few months, you had been - more or less secretly - helping him with whatever you could: sending out invitations to other royals, filing away documents, re-writing contracts so all that would be left to do was sign them.

You were the king's partner after all and you wanted to help him as much as possible. This was your kingdom, your home, as much as it was his, as he regularly reminded you.

Thranduil noticed, obviously. The hours in his study were reduced since most things were taken care of in a perfect way already - he could return to your private rooms right after dinner and spend time with you instead which the Elvenking appreciated immensely.

However, over the past few weeks, things have taken a turn. And Thranduil noticed that, too.

How, on some days, you would get up earlier than him, how you would skip lunch and dinner with him - although it was one of your favorite things since you got to spend it with one another during your otherwise busy schedules - and instead eat by yourself, hunched over some papers. He noticed your tired eyes and dull skin and- lack happiness, to cut it short.

Worry didn't even remotely describe what he was feeling. He felt sick to his stomach when he thought about you being unhappy.

Today was no different.

You had gotten up before sunrise, leaving your husband a little love letter, before entering your own study to take care of all official things.

There was a lot to do. Other elves as much as people from Laketown and even dwarves were sending letters, hoping to schedule a meeting with the king himself to talk over whatever was bothering them.

You made it your mission to answer every single one of them, noting down appointments and also sending out excuses if Thranduil wasn't the right one to talk to when it came to certain matters.

By the end of the day, your head was pounding. You let out a yawn and rubbed your eyes, hoping to relieve some of the pressure behind them, but to no use.

Closing them for only a minute wouldn't hurt. You could still look for your husband afterwards.

A line had been crossed for the Elvenking.

It was the second day in a row that you skipped your shared meals and from what he just learned, you weren't eating them at all.

He needed to talk to you. He wouldn’t - and couldn’t - let you destroy yourself over some work. Your happiness and well being came first and he would make you realise that, no matter the cost.

After reaching your study and receiving no answer to his knocks, he let himself in with determined steps, only to stop abruptly as soon as he saw your sleeping figure. His eyes softened immediately.

"Oh, meleth."

With two big steps, he was by your side, crouching down until he was on eye level with you. Even in your sleep, you looked stressed, your eyebrows scrunched up, reminding him of the times you woke up from a bad dream.

"What are you doing to yourself, hm?"

Gentle, as if you would break like glass if he touched you with too much force, he picked you up and carried you out of the room and into your shared bed chamber where he set you down on the soft mattress and covered you with a fluffy blanket.

Thranduil left the room again for only a few moments so he could blow out the candle in your study and put everything where it belonged. He himself hated to work at a messy desk and didn't want you to deal with the same thing once you would return to work, although he didn't want to think about that yet. For now, you needed rest and all the love and care you could get.

He returned to your bedroom after he spoke to some of his subordinates to let them know neither he nor you would be available in the next three days.

You were still fast asleep, curled up into the blanket. The king walked over to you and slowly began to remove all your uncomfortable clothing before he himself put on a night gown.

Only then did he lay down next to you, carefully maneuvering your body into his arms, your head on his chest. Even in your sleep you wrapped your arm around his waist and entangled your legs, letting out a small sigh.

"Sleep, meleth, you've been working too hard", your husband whispered and brought his delicate fingertips up to brush some hair out of your face before letting them trail down to your back, rubbing some calming circles into your shoulder. "I'll watch over you, I promise."

And Thranduil kept his word.

He stayed up to make sure you slept through the night, occasionally pressing a kiss to your temple or the top of your head while his fingers were always touching you in some way.

It was nearly lunch time when you woke up the next day.

After noticing you were still cuddled up with your husband although the sun was already shining into the room, you immediately sat up.

"I- I overslept, oh Varda, there is so much to do. Why didn’t you wake me, my love?"

With a gentle force, Thranduil pressed you back onto the mattress.

"You've been overworking yourself for weeks and your health and happiness are suffering in return. I told everyone we wouldn't be available for the next few days. For the foreseeable future, we'll only take care of you."

You didn't want to cry. And you tried really hard to keep the tears at bay, but when the Elvenking looked at you with so much love in his eyes, you couldn’t stop them.

"I'm sorry for failing you, my king."

The elf wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. "Oh meleth, no. No, you didn't fail me, you never have. And you never will."

"I can't even take care of myself", you hiccuped, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "It's like the work and the pressure never stop and I'll never be good enough and now I am sitting here, crying to you, a literal king who has way more responsibility than me. I am so sorry to burden you with this."

Thranduil's heart was breaking. He couldn't believe this was how you saw yourself when, to him, you were the most beautiful being in all of Middle Earth.

"You are never a burden to me. Do you hear me? Never. We can fix this. You have to learn how to prioritise yourself. I can teach you. I will teach you. And we will start right now. You must be hungry, what do you want to eat?"

You fumbled around with your hands before looking up at the Elvenking. "Could I have some pancakes?"

Thranduil leaned forward to press a kiss against your nose. "Whatever you want, meleth nîn."

With one swift motion, he got up, put on one of his majestic robes and made his way to the kitchen to order your beloved pancakes and some additional treats as well as some hot and cold beverages.

He returned to your chambers with a first tray of food, watching your face lit up with delight at the sweet smell.

"Here you go, my love. Eat as much as you want and take all the time you need. There are no other things that need to get done today or the next few days."

You nodded and grabbed a plate, happily munching on the food the servants were bringing in over time.

The king was watching you carefully while he himself ate something. It was more than obvious that all the food was good for your mind, body and soul.

You let yourself fall back against the sheets when you were done, letting out a satisfied sigh. "That was good."

"It is about to get better. What do you think of a bath?"

Your eyes lit up. "Right now?"

The elf couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. "Is that what you want?"

You sat up, enthusiastically bouncing on the mattress and nodding your head. "Yes, please!"

Thranduil stood up again and walked into the bathroom, filling the tub with hot water and your favourite bath salts and flower petals before coming back to you.

With ease, he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you off the bed, carrying you into the bathroom.

"Arms up", he ordered gently and removed your clothing, doing the same to himself afterwards.

"You're so handsome", you breathed out as you softly pressed your hand against his chest, right above his heart. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Thranduil's heart started to beat faster under your touch and praise and you smiled, feeling butterflies in your stomach at the fact that you still had this effect on him.

He lifted you into the tub, setting you down and lowering himself behind you, pulling your body flush against his chest.

"I'm the lucky one."

You shook your head before letting it fall back against his shoulder. "You take care of me when I can't do it myself."

The king's deft fingers brushed through your hair, letting them trail down your arm. "We take care of each other. You are the one who decreased my work load so I'd have more time."

You intertwined your hands. "Well, of course. I want you to be well."

A kiss was pressed against the top of your head. "Do you see my point?"

You nodded. "I think I do."

Thranduil let his thumb brush over the back of your hand. "Tomorrow, we can take a walk in the garden and look at all the blossoming flowers. Or we can do whatever else will make you happy."

A smile graced your lips. "Just being with you makes me happy."

Gently, the ellon grabbed your chin and turned your head around so he could kiss you. You melted into his embrace, smiling against his lips.

"Gi melin", he whispered after you two had parted for air and you replied with the same sentiment.

Once you two had soaked in the water for a while, the Elvenking grabbed your shampoo and lathered up his hands before bringing them up to your scalp to work in the product.

The more time you spend like this with your husband - in your little bubble of happiness and safety - the lighter your heart felt.

And it only got better when Thranduil's hands wandered down your head to your neck and shoulders, massaging your tense muscles to help you relax even further.

You shuddered and the king grinned to himself. He was just as pleased as you were earlier that his touch could, still, make you weak in the knees.

"Rest, meleth", he whispered as he continued to work on your upper back. "There will be time to talk about long-term adjustments and solutions, but for now, you can let yourself fall. I'll be there to catch you."

Everything-Taglist: @shadowhuntyi @asgardianhobbit98 @fizzyxcustard

-> if you want to be added or removed from my taglist, just shoot me a message or an ask 🩷

[whataboutnoope]

"i think i'm in love with you."

andrew doesn't flinch, but his knuckles go white on the steering wheel, a clear sign he heard neil. he doesn't answer, but neil knows he didn't like hearing him confess on their way to night practice. hell, he was sure andrew wasn't happy when he slammed the car door with a little too much force.

'this is it.' that's all neil can think for the rest of the night, watching andrew ignore him and go all out on kevin at practice.

practice. shower. back to the dorms.

he tries not to think about it too much, he didn't expect to hear it back, tries to ignore the small voice at the back of his head chanting 'it's over'. he really tries. he fails and lets the thoughts torture him.

then the dorm door opens and closes, quietly in the night to not wake up their roommates, and he again tries not to give it much thought. he fails.

it's almost dawn when he decides to try his luck one more time, when he gets up from his bed and goes to the rooftop, when he sits beside andrew, at arms length as always.

they watch the first rays of sun peek from behind the buildings, turning the dark night into a soft morning. it feels like hours go by when andrew finally speaks.

"i won't say it back, stop waiting." it's barely a whisper, there's no emotion behind his voice.

"i don't want you to." neil croaks "i just wanted you to know i do."

"i hate you."

"i know"

they sit in silence for a while, the sky getting lighter by the minute, until andrew sighs and gets up, keeping his hand out for neil to take. neil looks at the hand and then at him, studying the calm expression on his face before taking his hand and getting up. he expects andrew to let go as soon as he's on his feet, but the shorter man just links their fingers together, gives his hand a squeeze and gets them both inside.

they close the dorm door behind them and andrew locks it before pinning neil against it and kissing him senseless, letting go when he's satisfied enough, his hand on neils throat, index tapping on the pulse point going wild.

"good night." it's all he says before he disappears in the bedroom, leaving neil at the door, slightly panting and eyes full of emotions.

(andrew does say it back, a few years in the future, long after they graduate. they're on a roadtrip, the highway never ending and neil's awful playlist playing in the background while he drives and andrew sits in the passenger seat, looking out the window with a bored expression.

"i love you, too"

neil nearly crashes the car. andrew calls him stupid and turns to look out the window again, a small smile adorning his lips.)

[whohasfourthumbsand]

+ Who Has Four Thumbs And-

+ -used them to design four new arms? This guy!

+ Tutor said I wasn't allowed to scale down Zheng parts so that I can punch holes in the wall (she also made me sign up for a class on the dangers of sleep deprivation?) but I still made some much-needed upgrades to their overall strength. I'm going to field test the new parts myself before potentially using the designs to upgrade Kennedi's work-in-progress. There might have been inspiration taken from the Caliban, but I'm legally not allowed to confirm anything. Only imply.

+ The tubes are temporary; I haven't worked out the cooling quite yet, plus I tend to overextend my joints when I'm still adjusting.

[pure-oddity]

Fast foodies know the deal

Ghost x reader

(not proof read, this is just fluff straight from the source

Warnings: none, ovulation mention maybe? Its brought up a single time.)

The craving hits around 3 in the morning, it's ovulation week so the idea of not getting chicken nuggets from the drive through makes you want to cry.

You turn towards the sleeping lug beside you. He's on his back, breaths deep and even. Still as a grave but at your movement he takes the arm you had been using as a pillow to drag you further into his side.

Your Simon, took you forever just to get the man to admit he did more than tolerate you. even longer to admit he cared for you. It took you almost using his toothbrush to realize that the man might actually (gasp) like you. That one you didn't push, figured he'd come to terms with it on his own.

As you look at how peaceful he seems you try to fight the urge, you really do, but as you prop yourself up on your elbows and move closer to Simon's ear you resign to begging his forgiveness later.

"Simon, my baby? You sleeping?"

You wouldn't have known he was a awake had it not been for the lone eye opening to check on you

"Was, love. I was. Whats wrong, bad dream? Y' Can turn on the telly to that duck cartoon or the robots - won't bother me none." He rubs a comforting hand up and down your back, he's being so sweet you really do start to feel bad.

"I want chicken nuggets."

Silence.

Both eyes are open now.

The silence continues.

You smile sheepishly.

Wordlessly simon extracts his arm and turns so his back is to you.

"Nnooooooo! Simon pleeeaase. Pretty please? I want chicken nuggets so bad!"

"Go ahead. keys are on the rack, tanks full."

"Nooo you have to take me! come on baby please, for me?"

"My love. Sunshine. Light of my life. If you're hungry i made a perfecly good roast last night. Heat that up and let a man rest."

"I dont want a perfectly good roast! I want chicken nuggets. And a burger. And fries - oh maybe a shake?" You lean over him, hair purposely hung over into his face. He turns quickly and you're nose to nose

"So youre gonna have me get up at 3 fucking a.m. to get you a greasey, artey clogging, cholesterol raising gastrointestinal disaster of a meal - when we have a perfectly good home made dinner in the fridge."

"....please?"

Silence.

A deep suffering sigh.

An ecstatic squee

"Just get your fuckin shoes on"

------

You lean back over into the passenger seat, simon grumpy faced as you insisted that you should be the one to order.

You pat your thighs in glee as he pulls up to the window, gives you a dirty look , and hands the cashier his card.

The second window delivers your meal and drink quickly, you dig in like a starved animal. You're mid chew when he gives a grunt. A snooty sounding eh hem.

You grin and giggle, slowly airplaning him a nugget.

"Give me the chicken or i'll take the whole box"

You squeak and shove it to his lips quickly. His jaws snap around the nugget and it's gone within a single bite - you retract your fingers, still intact but wet with spit.

You give an 'eeeech' and look for somewhere to wipe your hand.

"Any of this ends up in or on my interior and it'll be your arse."

You roll your eyes and reach in the bag for a napkin, knocking the fries over in the process.

Silence.

The car drifts slowly to the left and is parked along the side of the road.

Not a word spoken.

You try to shove as many back into the carton as possible.

He stares at you.

You smile sweetly at him before leaning over the center console and kissing him. You meet his lips, they're stretched into a dangerous grin.

"Love" kiss "did you" kiss "spill salt" kiss "in my truck?"

You might not know a lot, but you know that voice means you're in trouble, which means it's distraction time.

You continue your sweet onslaught of kisses.

"Thank you for taking me baby, I love you so much. ", another smooch

is delivered.

"Youre my person, my favorite guy, love of my life."

He bites at your lip and you barely manage to slip it from his teeth

"Wanna spend the rest of my life with you, grow old with you"

He grips the back of your head and maneuvers your ear to his mouth, in a deep rumble he asks

"Are there fries on my floor, love?"

The dangerous smile still present.

"No of course not baby! i cleaned those up."

"So my truck is fry free?"

"Well - no didn't say that. there's a, a few under the seat"

He's grappling you into his lap now, the man looks a hint deranged.

"And why, my love, are you telling me about them instead getting them?"

he presses.

"'Cause I - hehe - I can't reach!" You giggle out as his hands slink towards your sides.

He pokes and prods at you, growling not unlike a bear while you squeal and squeak out little laughs.

"Gets a man up at ass o'clock-"

"Oh please, you get up early anyway!"

"makes him drive to get congealed grease-"

"you had a nugget too!"

"Then trashes his truck."

"Oh please it's like a handful of fries, I'll get them, i'll get them!"

He frees you with a huff and you dive back over to your side of the car. You pop open your door and hop outside to get a better angle at the underside of the seat. He gets impatient as you fish around for the last few fries, giving a little hurrah as the last one is snatched.

Clambering back into the truck you grin at him, happy as can be. He hums a short laugh, and you're off to home again.

He makes a beeline for the bedroom and you trot over to the counter to finish your meal, most of it having been shared and eaten in the truck. You sit back a moment to enjoy the feeling of fullness when you see Simon emerge again.

"Bed. Now. Kept me up long enough" he's already on you before you can think of a reply, slung over his shoulder. He makes quick work of getting you both situated in your proper spots.

You're snuggled into his side for the night, full and content. He breathes in deep and exhales slowly. you draw nonsensical patterns on his bare chest, playing with the hair there. As sleep overtakes you, your palm flattens over the spot where his heart resides; and you feel him relax just a smidgen more.

[lionpawsdiary]

probably some minor delays in comic art (maybe?) I spilled coffee on my keyboard and now some of them don’t work (most vitally my space bar). i got two more posts queued up for this blog before it goes on a teensy break

[pete-spankoffski]

[ There was a fuzzy feeling in his brain, pulling himself up to his bed after throwing up. He clutches Mezzo close to his chest, and cries into the fabric. He scratches at his hands, almost harsh enough to break skin but of course he’s careful.

He brings his legs to his chest, Mezzo laying on his legs. Petes phone laid nearby, the cats waiting outside his door as he had shut them out. He started slipping into little space, he buries his face into the plushie while digging his nails into it.

His knees tremble, the skin around his eyes hurt due to his glasses frame being pushed against it. Pete whimpers quietly, pressing his back against the hard wall. They blink back more tears, which threatened to spill and do anyway. ]

[kairukitsuneo]

Best Christmas Gift 🎁❄️😏💕💕💕💕💕💕

[shojoboy]

IM SO CLOSE TO CATCHING UP W DUNMESHI AAAA

^Laois' phone during the finale (he forgot he put it on silent. he's not reading these)

[ppth-forensic-technician]

Can somebody help me convince @vancurarchivist to let me gift them a new mobile phone? I believe their current one is a genuine danger to the hospital. Sadly, dear Ilja is too stubborn to accept any new gifts from me.

[fruitydiaz]

nobody asked but what bothers me most about fandom rn and for the past couple of years really is that nobody just wants to have fun anymore. like actually. you can’t write a stupid self indulgent slightly ooc headcanon that’s not even serious without someone going wow so you don’t even understand the source material. you don’t even know anything and you’re stupid and i hate you like okayyyyyyy maybe chill. maybe relax a little. maybe get a new hobby.

[bloodtwin]

if you ever wonder why i haven't replied yet it is because of my. *checks notes* *gets lightheaded* 86 . beautiful drafts staring up at me with big beautiful doe eyes all blinking so cutely & seducing me ............

[purpletyrant]

what

[dr-well-adjusted]

Ignoring the STUPID BITCH in the back rate the look

I- I uhm... He is- uh

PAH!

you made the poor man flustered, im just too hot

OOC: I personally don't find Hugh/House attractive but holy shit he's hot in this photo

[sugarfortia]

lmao